ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 19th

Episode Date: February 18, 2020

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ZM. Hit music. Live the air. Fletchvorna Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchvorna Megan. Oh, the computer wants to update itself and restart. Now's not the time. It must be a six o'clock thing because mine just said, do you want to do it now? And I was like, yeah, why not?

What have I got to do, eh? Well, you've got to write the top six and do that on your laptop. Oh, I'm going to go old school and write that on a piece of paper. That's great for the environment. Well, this piece of paper's got writing on one side, Megan, but not this side. Right. Well, don't do it in Vivid because it'll go through and then you won't be able to see what's on there. It'll seep through.

It's good like reading your own writing. It's a good thing. It's like a surprise. It's like a card I've written to myself. Have you ever had to do handwriting? Like write a letter or anything? Start out good. It's weird when you do it, eh?

I write cards now and the words don't come out like I want them to. My hand does other things. Who do you reckon is the blind? What part of the brain to hand circuit is letting you down there? All of it. It's just an entire depletion of the nervous system. Yeah, it's gotten lazy with computers and phones and stuff. All right, the top six is coming up before seven.

Yeah, with no hold-ins, what are we going to do for New Zealand police cars? Well, around the world, there's some real neat alternatives. Oh, because they have real cute ones in Europe and they go, me-noo-nee-noo-nee-noo-nee-noo-nee-noo-nee-noo-nee-noo-nee-noo. And they're like little wee, like, nana cars. Yeah, little Peugeots. Yep. Little Fiat.

Easy to get in the, like, the little streets and weave through traffic. Yeah. But then you're a rest 150kg, 7 foot tall. Strapped to the roof. Criminal. True. It's not very menacing though because our ones here are like, And theirs is like,

We can put our horns on the little cars. Yeah, we could do that. Okay, well, great options. Yeah. We'll explore those soon with the top six. Also coming up, there's sad news from the farm let born. There is. This Netflix missing chicken has already come to a close year.

Right, it's a short Netflix show, this one. Very short, limited series. Although, whodunit. A bit of a whodunit. A bit of a whodunit. All right, it's coming up. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Story time. Three news headlines for three interesting, odd, quirky news stories that are found online are Vaughan and Megan, you must pick only one. Headline one, questions as non-profit CEO paid $7.5 million. Woo, Jesus. Headline two, Jaeger bombs all round. And headline three, stroke of bad luck. Those are your headlines. Jaeger bombs all round. Yes. Broke of bad luck. Those are your headlines.

Jager bombs all round. Yes. Poor Jager gives me the shivers now after all those parties we had. All those parties back in the day. Remember with the Jager? You can't do it anymore? Nah. But a Jager bomb, so you drop that into a Red Bull, eh? Yeah, that's nicer.

And then do you scull it all or do you just sip it? You scull it all. You scull it. Nobody is sipping a Jagerbomb. Right. I was mocked at the weekend for sipping tequila. Oh, you don't? No, you don't do that.

But it was a nice tequila and I think you'll find you do. You're supposed to sip nice. Oh, it wasn't Jose Cuervo. You just shot it and it doesn't burn on the you do. A nice one. Oh, it wasn't Jose Cuervo. You just shot it and it doesn't burn on the way down. A nice one. Oh, no, you sip, sip. See, I can't do tequila anymore. If I do tequila, it's a bad morning the next day.

Right. It does something to me. I don't know. Oh, my God. It doesn't agree with me. I'm a little aroused. What does it do to you? Unleash the beast.

It just makes me always have a big night. Oh. Yeah, right. We'll remember that next time. Tequilas and margaritas, eh? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you do turn into a silly little bitch after a couple of margaritas. A couple of margis.

A very silly little bitch. Fun, though. Yeah, no, yeah, good times. Just stick to my mojitos, which also make me... Just silly little bitch. Yes. I think I want to know, because Jagerbombs all around wouldn't, there must be something where it happened or who did it or something.

Well, it's more the fact of a celebration because we go now to Zurich in Switzerland where a Swiss court has granted German liquor maker Jägermeister brand protection for its logo. The deer. Yes. What's the deer got on its antlers? A circle with a cross?

A cross, yes. Oh, yeah. Well, they have granted brand protection for the cross between its antlers, saying the symbol was unlikely to offend Christians' religious feelings. This was ruled in court on Monday. Because obviously there had been a bit of, I guess, argument that they were using a religious symbol. Christians don't have the cross.

I just looked it up. Do you know that because it's got a circle, it's got a deer head, and then it has the cross in the middle? I don't know if this is official, but some people are saying it's supposed to represent, oh, dear God. Oh, dear God. Oh, dear. Because there's a circle, O, and then the dear, and then God.

Because that's how you feel in the morning after you've had half a bottle of Jagermeister. Oh dear God. So the court concluded that the average Christian's feelings would not be hurt by the Jagermeister logo. And since the logo's actually been in use since 1935, they've been making their sweet, delicious drink. And yeah, apparently based on a 7th century legend of Hubertus, Hubertus, the patron saint of hunters,

who became a Christian missionary after encountering a magnificent white stag with a glowing cross between its antlers. Oh, okay. So it does have religious origins. Yes. But yeah, they're allowed to use it. So hence, Jagerbombs all around.

Celebrate. It's all good. Celebrate with Jagerbombs. Yeah. But it doesn't say if actually any religious people had complained. Right, they're just saying. They're handing them off at the pass. Yeah, I think maybe one of the government departments, I don't know.

Anyway, it's good to go now. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. When I looked into the fact that people, the scientists were looking into facial expressions, I was like, oh, don't they have something better to do? But the reason they're looking into facial expressions is because... You had a real bitchy look on your face when you said that. Yeah.

Facial expressions. No, that's just my face in general. This is my face. It's because of all the facial recognition technology that's going on. Yeah, right. In China, it's real Black Mirror Big Brother stuff.

Yeah, so they're looking into facial expressions and whether people can read emotions from their expressions. Because we've always thought, I mean like, if they're smiling they're happy, right? Yeah. But it's not as simple as that. And they're saying that you can't base someone's mood, opinion or

anything else based on a facial expression because it's poor, it's a poor signal for their inner feelings. They've done a test where they, I don't know if they did multiple but they showed a picture of a guy screaming, just his face

and it was like a full on scream and everyone was like okay, he's angry, he's upset, but actually when they showed the full picture, it was a guy scoring a good goal in football. So he was stoked. But take it out of context,

just looking at someone's face is completely wrong. Plus lots of people have bitchy resting face. Why? I suffer from that. Yeah. Internally, like I'm just going la, la, la, like nothing's going on. Externally, bitch.

Yeah. But so that's from a still image and computer analysis but surely there's something facial expression experts could watch somebody and know a bit more.

Like, you know, like really good poker players can see other people's towels. Yeah, right. Also, like, so many people are getting Botox now. Like, and injections and stuff. Like, that would affect how your face moves. Imagine if you were a really good poker player. You could read other people's, you know, faces.

Maybe chuck a bit of a card count in there as well. Yeah. But you had too many towels, so you just got Botoxed everywhere. Yeah. Wouldn't that be a good idea before? Just so your face is frozen. Yeah, before the big Poker 20. And then you win, and they're you just got Botoxed everywhere. Yeah. That'd be a good idea before. Just so your face is frozen. Yeah, before the big poker tourney. And then you win

and they're handing you over the million dollar check and you're like, I never shook shit ever. Now she's grunty. Now I know she's grunty. What? I'm shook shitted.

And that was why I'm so excited. Before I was, it's such a great day to win. Oh, yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday, later in the show, I mentioned that we were down a chicken. We were missing a chicken. A chicken, Courtney Cluckdashian.

All named after the Kardashians. Yeah, the Cluckdashians. Was missing. Now, we can tell which chicken's which because they've got colour bands around their ankles. And she was actually sans bracelet. And much like the TV show, Courtney had had enough. She just left. Yeah, she wanted out.

Enough of the BS. Well, I can tell you, I received so many messages from people saying, your chicken will be getting broody, I think it is, or nesting and broody. And it's when free-range chickens have the opportunity to go and hide somewhere and lay a bunch of eggs. And because they think

they're going to hatch, so they sit on them. So they go somewhere quite private and sit on them and lay a whole lot of eggs. So there'd be no chicks. Well, yesterday, that possibility was scratched out. My wife was hanging the washing and a feather blew past and she looked to see where the feather had come from

and saw a chicken foot. Chicken foot. And she screamed and I went out to see what was wrong and she was pointed and so I went over and looked. She screamed? Yeah. Okay. Because she saw the chicken foot. she screamed and I went out to see what was wrong and she was pointed so I went over and looked in she screamed yeah because she saw the chicken oh yeah

because it's kind of like it's coming out of the ground yeah right and so I went and looked in yeah there was

the dead body of Courtney Clark Dashy Hen so do you want a moment silence yeah well we can't have

too much silence because the silence alarms will go off we can play the music in the background. It's technically not silence. Let's just do just a fraction of silence so that the alarm doesn't go off. Hold on.

We're just doing the silence. No, no, I was thinking I could play a song in the background. I don't know about Candle in the Wind. This one. What is this? You know this song. Megan, just a moment's silence, please. Sorry.

We might as well keep talking until they start singing. Okay. Which I think is about to start happening. So, just a moment's silence. I close my eyes to start happening. So, just a moment of silence. Megan, can you not laugh? You're laughing too.

A chicken is dead. Oh, call me. Oh, it's actually sad. She's a beautiful checker. Wonderful checker. Wonderful, wonderful checker. Do you want to say some words?

Was she responsible for the giant double yokers, the big ears? We don't know. Indy always theorised, because she was one of Indy's favourites, because there were some tears last night. How did you break? Was there a moment where you were like, we could lie to her? Yeah, there was a moment where we were like, the chicken could just, no, you can't replace a chicken

because the other chickens will pick on the chicken. I'm pretty sure all chickens look the same. No, but the other chickens will pick on it. Pick on the chicken. And it will be smaller. And Indy would know. She challenged herself to identify them without even seeing the color bands. Oh, right.

Okay. So she would have known. But we don't know. Indy, our daughter, theorized that she was the double yokelab, but I guess we'll see going forward. How did you – is this the first animal death? Well, no. We lost some lambs. But they didn't know about that, did they? Well, no. We lost some lambs.

And they didn't know about that, did they? No, they did. Oh, they did. We decided to be honest with them about it. But how did she take the news that Chloe clucked? Yeah, she nearly died. Pretty badly. Courtney, sorry.

Oh, God. Is Chloe okay? Courtney. Courtney's fine. Yeah, fine. Pretty badly. Okay. Because she'd played with them. She really likes the chickens, but she'd never met them.. Yeah, fine. Pretty badly. Okay. Because she'd played with them.

She really likes the chickens, but she'd never met them. I am, so. It was a little bit different. Yeah, a loss. A loss in the family. Well, it's good training, isn't it? For life. When a human dies.

Life. The inevitability of life. Yeah. Death. Death, yeah. When Uncle Fletch just mysteriously disappears on one of his jaunts overseas. And you can say to Indy...

And he won't have a coloured ankle bracelet on, we won't be able to identify him. You can say to Indy, it's like that time the chicken died. He was found face down in the Agapanthus. With his legs in the air. With his foot in the air. See, it's great training. Yeah.

All right. Why are you in the Agapanthus? I don't know. Do you know how hard the ground is at the moment? No rain? To dig a hole. It was a pretty shallow grave. I'll be totally honest with you.

I wanted to cremate her, but we're in an absolute fire band. You can't cremate a chicken. It smells delicious. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Holden, retiring from the car game. 2020 will stop the... 2021 will be the last run.

And then there'll be parts and everything. Tears yesterday. Megan, you're a Holden household. It's very upsetting. How's Dad taking the news? Iguain. None of us have taken it well. Yeah. I mean, sad news.

Buy another car, I guess. I mean, you don't even drive Holden. What are you even... Like, the last cars you bought haven't been Holdens. A little bit. So why do you care? It's part of my... You're a Jeep family now. What is it? You're you care? It's part of my... Well, you're a Jeep family now. What is it?

You're a Jeep. Yeah. It's part of my childhood. And then Dad and I would go to the V8 supercars. We'd always support Holden. You drove like a Mazda for like eight years. I used to say I wish Mark Scaife was my uncle. I don't even know who that is, but cool.

Scaife. Oh, Scaife. Yeah. Uncle Mark. That's what you'd probably call him. The top six replacements to hold on police cars then, because they do make up a good whack of our police force. Well, do you remember they got those little ones

and they couldn't fit tall criminals in the back of them? That's right. The coops that came down? The little coops. Yeah. Silly. They had to tie them up and put them in the boot. So the top six replacements to hold on police cars.

Number six deals with a lack of space. The Mazda Bongo. Oh, okay, good. So much room for criminals. Your dad had one of those for many years, didn't he? He could have stacked a few criminals in there. Tools, criminals, mobile, meth labs. You name it, you can fit it in the back of a bongo.

Number five on the list of the top six replacements to hold in place goes gyrocopters. Oh, okay. You know those little things that go along and then they go up. You change the engagement of the motor from the wheels to the helicopter blade. They're never in the news. Nothing ever goes wrong with them. No. Safe as houses.

Microlights. Homebuilt aircraft of all. Is there like a pedal helicopter? You're talking about like a bicycle helicopter thing. Am I? I don't know what a gyrocopter is. It's like a little helicopter, right? Right.

That sounds extremely dangerous and very stupid. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. It is. You don't pedal it, but it's got a, yeah, yeah, it's like a,

it's got its own little motor and stuff. They're real little. Imagine if you pedaled it, you'd be like, oh, I'm so tired. Yeah, then you'd just be like, I've got to keep pedaling,

I'm too high. I can slow down the pedaling, but I've got to keep these legs going around. Number four on the list of the top six replacements for the Holden police cars.

This is for the inner city. Electric skateboards. Cool, dude. Why haven't we seen some police on some electric skateboards? I've seen them on the bicycles. Yeah. Bicycle police. Yeah.

And Dunedin were trailing e-bike police. Oh, yeah. But why not electric skateboards? It'd be a good way to get around. More breathable uniform when they're a cycle cop? Yeah, I think they wear bicycle blue lycra tight hugging bicycle pants. And they get clippy cloppy shirts. We've got all their sponsors on the side.

Yeah. Zealand Police. Yeah. And a Powerade bottle in their pocket. And a banana. Clip club, clip club. Number three on the list of the top six replacements to hold on police cars, hovercrafts.

Oh, okay, good. Not enough hovercrafts around these days. I always see that one out by the airport. When you take off, you know you see the airport hovercraft. Does that actually go? Yeah. Oh, we were going to go on it. We were going to go on it.

They started it up and it went up, but it was too windy to take it out on the Monaco Harbour. Wow, what do they do with it? Because I've never been on a hovercraft. It's for rescue if a plane ditches in there. Really? Yeah, the harbour can be so muddy. It's such a different harbour at high tide and low tide.

Just a nice little reminder when you're taking off that that could rescue you if your plane plummets into the ocean. Only if it's not windy. Yeah. True. And not not windy. Yeah. True. And not too deep. Yeah. And number two on the list of the top six replacements for Holden police cars,

this is for the traffic issue. Okay. We thought maybe we could go little European cars, but that is for zipping through little gaps in alleys. No, Mack trucks with snow plows on the front. You'd move, right? You'd move, yeah. You'd get the F out the way if that thing was coming up behind you in rush hour.

And number one on the list of the top six replacements to hold on police cars, tricked out go-karts. Like Mario Kart. Like you're chasing a criminal and you fire the blue shell and it knocks out the leader, the criminal, and then you catch them. Right. Or you can just drop a string of bananas. It's completely up to you.

You really want to go to Japan and ride those Mario cars, don't you? Yes, I certainly, certainly do. That is today's Top 6. What are we talking about next? A question we often ask each other in the last 20 seconds of a song we thought would make a wonderful feature. Famously. We want you to.

Vaughn says. What are we What about next? Because I always draw on the. We always know what we're talking about next. It's just that you don't know. I don't know, yeah. We know. You scribble on your sheet.

And then I lose it. Yeah. Stuff. So. But we don't know. We don't want to know. Until right now. We've asked you to message in.

Call in. Intern Anya. Yes. Executive Intern Anya. Sorry. You're going to know until right now. We've asked you to message in call in Intern Anya Executive Intern Anya sorry you're going to give us a subject a topic.

I am. It's a round of fun theatre sports. Are you excited? Bit of improv. Yeah. Okay. Go.

Are you ready? I thought that was our topic. No I don't want to talk about theatre sports. No okay. Are you ready? Yeah. Tips on reinventing

your image. Okay. Tips on reinventing your image. Because, you know, we did get... Who needs to reinvent their image? You know, some people like to wait after, like, a separation or, like, a major life change.

They're like, I'm reinventing myself. I think a hair counts a good... I'm going to still be the piece of shit I've always been deep down, but I'm going to roll myself in glitter. But a hair counts a good way to do that, doesn't it? Or a hair colour change. Yeah, I love that.

Yeah. Bald man option. Hello? Oh, yeah, what's a bald? Just a whole new wardrobe. Two pay. You should just shave your beard one day. I know.

Just shave it off. It's weird when you shave your beard off, though. Yeah, it's yuck. It's weird. You grow a beard and you shave it off. We weird when you shave your beard off though Yeah it's yuck It's weird You grow a beard and you shave it off Just to People People already have enough

Problem differentiating between the two Yeah right But that could be my like change If I wanted to Grow a beard Yeah Or just a moustache Grow a moustache yeah

Reinventing your image What about them changing your colour palette Do you think it's It would just be But I'd find it weird When you have to go to the same job and do the same... Like, you'd almost have to move cities, wouldn't you, to start fresh and be a whole new person?

Well, it's like around here. Yeah. You're wearing a college shirt. Yeah. Everyone's on you. Got a job on the internet, man. Where are you going? Or are you wearing all black?

You're going to a funeral. Or Megan tries to wear something different and it only takes five. You're wearing Nana's doily. Well, it did look like you were wearing neck curtains the other day. What are you trying to reinvent yourself as? No, I just like to reinvent myself every day. Just like really switch it up.

You know? Yeah, right. Have a variety. But I just like doing the hair colour change. Being red, being blonde, going back to brown. Yeah, that's a way to change how you look, your image. I reckon I'll shave it off before I die. A facial tattoo.

Yep. I mean, that's pretty permanent. Pretty permanent. But, yeah, and change maybe if you've always been like a bright colour person. Go dark. People will ask if you're okay. And then that's nice because you get a bit of attention. And that's what it's all about anyway, isn't it?

Yeah. Changing your image, you want a bit of attention. Maybe you could go from pop to R&B. If you're a singer, yes, that's a great way to reinvent yourself. And change the look as well. Yeah. To go with it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, these are all great points. I hope someone's going to take this on board and go forth reinventing themselves. Yeah. All thanks to Save My Bacon making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis.

Soundkeeper Gary is in and there has been a jackpot. There has. And can I just say as well, it's a bit cheeky asking for a partial refund when you got $62 million. Your business yesterday, Fletcher's worth $62 million and he kept it from us. It's apparently on a website. I'm worth $62 million, which is news to me.

But yes, that is a jackpot of $55,000. Nothing to you. I'm also the kind of person that if I did have $62 million, I'd still want a partial refund because it's the principle. You wouldn't be here if you were worth 62 mil. Absolutely. I mean, that's the biggest giveaway that I would have had 62 mil. Amber, good morning.

Good morning. All right, so $55,000, the current jackpot. This is the secret sound. That $55,000 is all yours ifpot. This is the secret sound. That $55,000 is all yours if you can tell us what that sound is. Okay. So I think it's a Nespresso coffee machine. When you put the pot in,

you pull the lid back and then it clicks and ready to make the coffee. That's a good guess. Play it again. So you know how, like, the thing's going, ready to, like, yeah, pour the coffee out. Amber. Yeah.

It's a great guess, but that is not the secret sound. Oh, Amber, that was a really good guess. I think all the guesses lately... I was definitely thinking it was that. Yeah, all the guesses lately have been, I've just been like, that fits. That's it. That's it, but it's not.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. The north part of the North Island Well, Northland we call it Yep Because it's land It's as far north as it goes Northland

What a super name Well, there's Northland And then there's the far north Well, no, that won't do it That's how it is From now on, there's Northland And then there's North-er-land Okay

Not the far north The far north is too vague It's North-er Sounds very Guy F. Not the far north. The far north is too vague. It's North-er. Sounds very good. It's crazy, doesn't it? The far north. Yeah. The North-er-land.

Yep. Okay. Very, very dry. In fact, the majority of the country are very, very dry. Water restrictions in place in a lot of places, but Northland's suffering it more than some others. So much so, level four water restriction. Out of what?

Five. Five means you're not even allowed to drink. You're just going to lie there and die. They are asking you to narc on your neighbours if they're watering their lawn or watering the garden or using water for non-essential purposes. Washing the car.

You're not supposed to wash your car. You wouldn't wash your car in water restrictions. Oh God, no, no, no. Let that become a dusty. You don't even need a warrant in a fitness staff up there.

So you certainly don't need to wash it. But yeah, no, it's in full restrictions and it's been told, yeah, if you see someone... What is... Do you think this includes if you could hear your neighbour having a long shower?

Well, you... I think that's pretty... You just hear the drain gurgling outside their bathroom and it keeps going. You having a long shower in there, are you, Susan? Knock, knock, knock, knock. You've been in there for a few minutes. I was here when you started.

Why were you here when I started? You can never be too careful, Susan. Why are you here when I'm at the end? You can never be too careful, Susan. Knocking on your neighbour, that's a big call because that's going to put neighbour relations at a strain. No, but they don't know you're knocking. They don't know it's you.

If you're the only neighbour there, you might have a fair idea. But then if you're the only neighbour or the only person on your street with a green lawn and flourishing garden, it's pretty obvious you've been out there at night watering it. This happened to my dad's mate in Papamoa, Mount Manui area. But he had a boar. And he got so many people, like the council would come around. There's complaints that you're using water for non-essential water purposes.

And he'd be like, I've got a bore. So he just got a little sign made up saying, this lawn is watered via a bore. Don't knock on me. So you could just also get a sign that says that. But then when you, oh, I don't know if it's build water up north. Not everywhere has the water meters that would say

how much water you're using. Right. But we'd like to know if you've ever, when you've had to dob somebody in. Doesn't have to be your neighbour.

Yeah, and it doesn't have to be for water restrictions. Could just be for anything. No. I would, I'd dob anyone in. I'm such a no-no. I love a Star Trip.

I love a Star Triple Five. Oh, yeah. Either car. Yeah, right. I'd dob anyone in. I'm such a nut. I love a Star Triple. I love a Star Triple Five. Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. Especially on a long weekend. Yeah. Yeah, if you see someone driving erratically or... Doing nuts stuff.

Yeah. Are you a frequent caller? Oh, well, if I see something, I won't hesitate to call. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. Can't just let it go?

I mean, how bad are these? How bad are you knocking? Infringements. Well, give me a couple of driving infringements. Well, because I've only rung that once, and it was because somebody was drifting over the centre line. 100%. And I thought they were drunk, but they were just old.

Which is as bad as being drunk. Which is as bad as being drunk, yeah. And this was, like, late at night. They'd just missed a truck. Like, it was pretty bad. So I was like, look, I've got to call. I always call that. So I'll knock in that. So I'll knock

in that situation. Didn't we call it once when we were all in the car? When that dude was in the middle of the road? In the middle of the road. Yeah. And I thought he was

going to throw something at us. That was bananas. Yeah, it was crazy. We called him on that one. Yeah. All right. Well, whether it's Star 555 or whether it's

knocking on your neighbour. Nina, when did you have to dob someone in? I went to boarding school, and we used to get girls that, like, jumped the fence or didn't do their duties. So I was always the bad guy

and used to dob them into the matron. Did they know it was you, or were you an anonymous nark? Sometimes they knew it was me because I've got a big mouth, and I just, like, know that they're in the wrong. Right. But some of the times, they didn't know it was me either. What do you do now, Nina?

What's your job? I'm training to be a teacher. Yep. Nah. Such a knock. Brilliant, Nina. Thanks for your call. Rebecca, who did you dob in?

Well, I dob in all the bad drivers on the road. Oh, so you do this quite a bit? Yeah, yeah. Especially people who think they're above everyone else when they're driving their little fancy Maseratis or whatever and they think that they can change lanes without indicating. Oh, my God, I hate that. And what's worse is when buses full of children

decide to pull out in front of you without indicating. Okay, so you're calling a lot then. I'm with you. The rules are there for a reason. Why are they allowed to get away with it? And what really annoys me is that when we're told, like, all these ad campaigns, you know, 1.5, stay alive, look before you pull out.

It could be a motorcyclist. What gives them the right to drive in between two lanes of cars if they want us to watch out for them? Nothing, Rebecca. Dobber man. I can see your haircut from here. I'm not going to. Shut up.

That's a real manager type shit. Ignore him. He doesn't have hair. I wouldn't call the star 555 if someone didn't indicate. Only if it's like really. Oh, no, no, no. If they cut you off. Like if I got cut off the other day by one of those container trucks. Oh, yeah, okay.

And he didn't even check. And he was 10 metres from my front bonnet. Right, okay. Well, fair enough then. But then again, on the flip side, I'm a terrible driver. I would have left that part out. Yeah. Hey, Rebecca, thanks for your call.

Ask some text messages. I knocked on the police. They were parked in the middle of a road in town just to get their lunch. They caused a major traffic jam. Did you see that story about the police officer taking his gun in to pick up the takeaways? Yes. I was like, only in New Zealand would a

policeman get in trouble for going into a takeaway store with his gun. Yeah. Was it on the holster thing? No, he handed it out and he was like, give me my fish and chips now. No, of course it was holstered. Oh, right. Yeah. It wasn't just like, oh, I don't know, just where am I going to put this gun?

Yeah, I thought he was just holding it. Oh, hang on, let me put this down and grab my wallet. I just dug in the front of my pants there. Oh, man, that looks gangster. Now where are my fish and chips? Because quite often you'll see a policeman on their phone, a police officer, and you'll be like, oh, but then, I don't know, they're doing their job, aren't they?

Or they're checking Tinder. I don't know what they're doing. I'm not going to narc on them. Catherine, who did you narc on? I had a flatmate move out and we had a reserve behind our house. So I went out and walked the dogs while he shipped it out. And when I was walking through the reserve back to the house, I noticed that he'd dumped his entire bed frame and slats included in the reserve.

So I called 0800 Dumped on that bastard. You've been waiting to call 0800 Dump, haven't you? Wait, what's 0800 Dumped on that bastard. You've been waiting to call 0800 Dump, haven't you? Wait, what's 0800 Dumped? Wait, is it Dump or Dumped? Dumped. Dumped. And it's like up to a $30,000 fine for dumping rubbish. Wow.

That'll teach him. Have you called that more than once? I think so. Yeah. Pulled on anyone. And so his excuse when I went back to the house was that it wouldn't fit in his car. All right.

That doesn't mean you throw it in the reserve, good friend. Well, not good friend, ex-flatmate. Okay, Rebecca. That's Catherine. Sorry, Catherine. That's awesome. Yep. Interesting sounding phone line

Thanks for your call Catherine Some more text messages Megan's lost it Somebody said I wish to remain anonymous But I dubbed my sister-in-law Into wins She was collecting $940 from them.

I don't know how often she was getting that pay. That was the figure. She was getting $200 from her ex a week in cash and living with her new partner. Now, this was the bad thing. Living with her new partner

who was in sales earning a six-figure salary. Oh, good. She was skiding about doing over the system and I was like, honest people pay tax. Yeah, good. So I dubbed her in.

Dubbed her in. Dubbed her in. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We know the least attractive and most attractive men and women from around the world are due to a website called beautifulpeople.com, which only lets attractive people join. This website's always in the news. Dating one. Because you've got to submit photos.

It's been around for a while. You've got to submit photos and they say if you're hot or not. Oh, they're so brutal. Yeah, it is. But that would be like a group of people deciding whether they're hot or not. And everyone's got a different taste, don't they?

So it is, yeah. Do you remember hot or not, the early days of the internet, hot or not? Because that's what Facebook... Heartbreaking. Isn't that what Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook as? Just a way to rate other students. Yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty rough though. So I can tell you who the hottest men and women are around the world. Now we don't make... Due to the success rates of getting on this website. Now, I don't know if that's because New Zealand people aren't on this website. Maybe not. But we don't make the list at all. We're not featured on here.

Which is not good or bad. So good. Because it might hurt if we were down there. Yeah. So I'll give you a percentage. But also, it gives us a chance to tour Poppy, the people above us. So, I mean, this is exactly where we love to be. Yeah.

I can give you a percentage. The percentage means the success rate of people getting on the site. Okay, right. So the higher the percentage, the better looking, generally, people are from that country. So do you want least or? Let's do least and then end with the pretty people. Okay, and it's broken down into males and females. So the least attractive females,

only a 13% success rate, is Germany. Okay. German women. I didn't think, I thought German women were kind of... I'm just going to Google

hot German woman. Just because on the work computer, it's research. Then for men, the least attractive men, I don't agree with this, only 6% success rate of getting on the site

is Irish men. Yeah, because you can't see their accents. Yeah. But there's some hot Irishmen. Yeah. Is Gerard Butler... Is he Scottish?

Maybe he's Scottish. That's immediately who I thought of. There's Cillian Murphy. Colin Farrell. Yeah, Colin Farrell's Irish. Yeah, Gerard Butler's Scottish. Yeah, right. Hottest Irish man.

So this is going to be real good because now I'm not going to get in trouble. Because it's balanced. Michael Fassbender, Pierce Brosnan. Liam Neeson, of course, is Irish. Ronan Keating. Did you say Ronan Keating? I didn't know. Ball of Boyzone.

Ball of Boyzone. Yeah, exactly. Right. Okay, so I'll tell you where Australia features. Only 19% of women get accepted onto the site and 22% of men. So Australian men are deemed to be hotter than the women. Okay. They're kind of middle of the site. And 22% of men, so Australian men are deemed to be hotter than the women. Okay.

They're kind of middle of the road. Do you want to know the most attractive? Okay. 71% of females from Norway get accepted. That's the most successful country for females. For men, 60% of Swedish men. The Nordics. Yeah, right.

Blondes. Yeah. That's it. Danish pastries and what else is there? The distinguishing feature of anyone from Scandinavia. Oh, blonde. Yeah. Yeah.

Ah. Blue-eyed. If you hit me with countries that you think are hot or countries that you want to know, I can tell you. But Brazil? Well, who always wins Miss World in Venezuela? Your Latino countries? Well, Brazil is 45% of women.

Okay. And 41% of men get accepted. They're quite high up there. Yeah. Argentina, 32% of men and 43% of women. They're quite up there as well. I wish New Zealand was on this list. I care to bet that I could probably find anybody in any country in the world

that I'd sleep with. I know. I bet, I bet. Yeah, I bet you do. Even the Vatican. Just anyone who says yes. There's probably like a hot bishop in bet. Yeah, I bet you do. Even the Vatican. Even the Vatican. Just anyone who says yes. There's probably like a hot bishop in there. Yeah.

Maybe I'm a little out of his age range, but you know. There'd be someone in every country. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Wow. If they're old enough, you can be a toy boy to anyone. Me?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to just go for the older woman in the countries. That could count it out. Yeah, right. See, some countries where I'm already older than the life expectancy. You know, you've got to keep your options open. It's Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly.

Polly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Come on. What's my favourite part about this? Polly Molly is where we just put up a whole lot of polls on Instagram. With the topic. I guess it's like putting your finger in the middle of a cake to see what the temperature is at and how the cake's going. Don't put your finger in the cake.

That's why my cakes never work. You put your finger in them. Keep your finger out of that. Well, I don't know. What's a better analogy? Like a knitting needle or a toothpick. Well, I don't know. What's a better analogy? Like a knitting needle or a toothpick. Well, I don't knit, do I? So that's why I use my finger.

Or a skewer. And if it pulls out no marks, then your cake's ready to go. You're ready to go, baby. Okay, so it's a good analogy. No, I'm not really. Not your finger. Holy moly, today we decided to do the ex-partner edition. We asked these questions on our Instagram for a barometer of the nation.

Is that a better analogy? Yeah. Yeah, not the barometer. It's what they think. Okay. Yeah. And so we've got a bunch of questions all about your ex-partners. Here's the first one.

Would you ever get back with your ex? No. What do you think that would be at? 70% say no. They're an ex for a reason, right? at? 70% say no. They're an ex for a reason, right? Yeah. 70% say no. Yeah.

So you think 30% of people could possibly be pining for the ex? Well, I suppose if one person does the breakup, and the other person didn't see it coming, there's always that unanswered isn't there? Yeah. 85% of people said nope, and 15% said probably. Wow, so if you're pining for your ex, there's an 85% chance they don't want you back. And even if it was closer to 70% and 15% of those 85% were lying, good on you for saying no.

Yeah. Because if you said no in this, you might be able to say no if they try to weasel, ferret, stoat, or other badger-like thing the way back into your life. Badger-like thing. Ex-partner edition, polymoly. Do we do the polymoly in between every polymoly result? No, it's too much. And we should have to answer these.

Fletch, would you ever get back with an ex? No. None of them. No. Good sizzle to that sausage. Next question, ex-partner edition. Do you hate your ex? Hate.

Strong word. You hate, isn't it? Don't like to use it. Don't like to use it, especially towards other people. There'd be a lot of people that were cheated on and wrong, so I'd say it might be up there with like maybe 40, 50%. I don't know. That's not very healthy.

20% hate their ex. 80% said, no, I don't hate. That's not very healthy. 20% hate their ex. 80% said, no, I don't hate them. Okay. That's good. I feel that's good. 80% don't. Feelings isn't black and white. Like there might be a whole lot of grey area in between

if you've got absolutely no time for them, but that doesn't mean you hate them. Yeah. Because that means you still think about them too much. The next question we asked, do you think you're better looking Than your ex's new partner Oh This is a good one

Cause What You know Like you break up with someone And then they get with someone That's like Either hotter Or not hotter

Notter Yeah Then yeah There's some issues there Isn't there Even though they're your ex You're still gonna judge Or maybe be a little bit butthurt

by it. Does my ex have a partner? You guys still follow him on Instagram? He's on a lads trip. He's skiing at the moment? Yeah, he's skiing. He's doing lots of lads games too, like push-ups when they do something that breaks the lad code. But I don't know if there's a girl

on this scene. No, I haven't seen a girl. What about going further back? Pre-husband exes. Yeah, there's been... Yeah, that's a given. There's been... But have you looked

at them and thought, oh God, they're hotter than me? Yeah. How did that feel? Often. There were, yeah. And then I caught

my boyfriend in bed with a girl once and she was hotter than me too. That really hurt. So did that feel? Often There were Yeah And then I caught my boyfriend In bed with a girl once And she was hotter than me too That really hurt So did that make it easier? I was just like You arsehole But okay I get it

I get it She's really hot Yeah Okay I'm angry But oh god I would too Yeah

God damn it 71% of people said Hell yes I'm better looking than my ex's new partner. 29% said, not really. How many are lying? Well, you've got to feel yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. They're with you.

It doesn't matter about the ex's partner, does it? Sorry, your partner's ex. No, but this is about your ex's new partner. Oh, right. Okay, yeah, true. When it does matter, yeah. It matters a lot. Yeah, that does new partner. Oh, right. Okay, yeah, true. When it does matter, yeah. It matters a lot. Yeah, that does.

Okay. Next question we ask is, do you still have feelings for an ex? So that could be one of any of your exes. Is there any feelings for exes? That's it. Don't answer that one in public. I'm not answering that one. No.

That's the answer. No, if you were in another relationship, you wouldn't answer that. But if you're still single, you could answer it without getting in trouble from anybody. No. That's the answer. No. If you were in another relationship, you wouldn't answer that. But if you're still single, you could answer it without getting in trouble from anybody. No. 81% of people said they do not have feelings for their ex. 19% said, uh-huh. I do. Does that correlate to the amount of people that would want to get back together with an ex?

It's close. It's pretty close. Yeah. It's pretty close. It's pretty close. Yeah. It's pretty close. And this is a really interesting one. We asked, should you delete photos with your ex off of social media? No. I don't think so.

No. It's just your past. It's your past, isn't it? It's a part of your life, right? I haven't. How good is it when someone does break up with someone, though? And you go, I? I haven't. How good is it when someone does break up with someone though and you go like, I wonder if they will and all of a sudden

their gram photo total has been rusting like a run down. Yeah. And then they get back to you there and they have to post them all again.

I guess it depends how it ends too. If you hate them, if you're one of those people that can't stand them, you don't want them on your social media. And also that might be

easy to move on because you don't want to see them on your Instagram so you just get rid of them. Yeah. Get it out on your social media. And also that might be easy to move on because you don't want to see them on your Instagram. So you just get rid of them. Get it out of there. Get out of there. 49% said yes, definitely. Delete them. 51% said nah.

That's really close. Yeah, that's really close. So that is today's Poli Moli, the ex-partner edition. I've mentioned before and you guys find this a bit weird, that I've been doing private Pilates. So a Pilates instructor comes around to our house and Andrew and I do Pilates together in our lounge.

So when you told us about this, you said it was free. The first time it was free, it was like a trial. A trial. So how much is... I'm not telling you. I, you said it was free. The first one was free. It was like a trial. A trial. Yeah. So how much is... I'm not telling you. I'm paying for it though. But it's cheaper for both of us to do this than it is to go for like both of us to go to like a session of Pilates at a studio.

Because for a moment I thought you won lotto and didn't tell us. No. Splash it out on your private home Pilates. I would not be here. I know. That's also true. No. Splash it out on your private home Pilates. I would not be here. I know, that's also true, yeah. And I probably would have bought a house by now if I'd won the lotto. True. You're waiting for the right one. Yeah, that's the only reason. So yeah, we're up to like session four, I think it was. Four? Yes, I'm getting real good. Well, you didn't tell us about session two and three. Well, it was non-eventful, really.

Just kind of did it. We still could have ripped you out for having private Pilates for at least one show. Well, I've moved on to like a really heavy, it's a really heavy like squidgy soft ball thing. What? It's like three kgs and it looks like a little bouncy ball, but golly. Medicine ball. Is this Pilates? No, it's like a medicine ball, I guess.

But what do you do with that? You have to, like, hold it up while you're, like, moving your legs in and out and stuff. It's really hard. Right. So, yeah, it was, like, really hot yesterday. And I don't know how this is justifying it, but towards the end, we do this one where you hug both your knees into your chest.

Are you lying on your back? Oh, yeah. You're lying on your back on the floor. Yeah. You hug your knees into your chest, like, as tight as you can. So you wrap your arms around your knees and squeeze. And then you kind of rock backwards and forwards to, like, get your butt off the ground. Then your, like, shoulders off the ground.

And it's a good massage for your back. But in that position, it's, there's, you know, you're relaxing everything. And it finally happened to me after all these years of like yoga and bar and Pilates, in front of my husband and in front of our Pilates instructor, I let out a little toot. A little... Is that how it went? How long did it last? It was...

Like that. And would you say that that's the volume? Or it probably felt that volume because it's always the quiet, really quiet, isn't it? Yeah. It wasn't. It was audible to everyone in the room. Give us the volume.

Give us the volume. No, it would have been louder than that. What kind of? Would have been like that. Oh, it was real. Okay. It was real what? Wet.

No, it wasn't wet. Okay, right. No, because you just made me do it with my mouth. Right, okay. It was a dry version of that. Right, okay. As far as toots go, pretty ladylike. Okay.

But I don't fart in front of my husband either, unless it's accidental, like you sneeze or something, or you're asleep. That's my favourite. Oh yes, you're sleeping next to someone and they fart. It's the weirdest thing, eh? Because I obviously spend all day

like holding them in because I don't want to fart in front of people and then obviously at night like he wakes up and gets great delight in telling me that it happened while we slept. So apart from that, I don't ever fart in front of him. So it was just,

he cracked up laughing and our Pilates instructor was so professional and she was like, it is completely natural. Oh, she would have seen it before. She would have seen it before. I did the whole, when it initially came out, I did, I pretended nothing had happened. I didn't hear a thing. Yeah. And Andrew's like, do you just fart? I was like, God. She would have seen it before. I did the whole, when it initially came out, I did, I pretended nothing had happened. I didn't hear a thing.

Yeah. And Andrew's like, did you just fart? I was like, absolutely not. I don't know what happened. Sir, I stand for those accusations. But, yeah, I couldn't. Mr. Toyboy's got good hearing. Couldn't stop the giggles.

Yeah. So it's happened. I've actually farted in front of him now. Maybe I need to get one of these home Pilates lessons because I still haven't heard Sade fart and I've never actually confirmed that she's done poos. No, because she's ladylike, isn't she? No, but what about like in her sleep?

Have you heard her fart in her sleep? No, I thought I heard her fart once in her sleep, but it was me. What? Why do you not know? I was lying like our butts were together. Oh, God. And I must have like something woke you. You know when something wakes you up, but you're not sure what it is

because whatever woke you up stopped by the time you were awake. And then I heard, and I was like, she's done it. And I was like, oh, hold on. No, that was me welcome to the fleets warner megan podcast brought to you by mick cafe for great barista made coffee on the go thanks to save my bacon making borrowing better for financially responsible kiwis uh and gary we asked yesterday morning can we have a jackpot? You said no.

And then yesterday, you caved in and you did it. Did you see what happened? They put a security guard on the door and they wouldn't let me leave. You put me in an arm lock. Is this what we've got to do to get a jackpot now? I'm getting shaken down.

You don't give in to that kind of violence. We just asked you nicely. I need physio on my shoulder. You don't give in to that kind of violence. We just asked you nicely. I need physio on my shoulder. No, but it's a new record, though. That's good, eh? Yeah, so it's never gone to 55,000 before. Just next jackpot we get, okay?

Megan's very, that was very stern. She's looking for the sniper. Also, she's very competitive. We'll just get a laser pointer and say that it's a sniper. Unless you jackpot it. Like in Breaking Bad. It'll work. Yeah.

Hopefully it will. Unless you get a purple laser pointer because I've never seen a purple laser dot on a movie. Why not purple? Yeah, I don't know. Why are they always red? Red's easy to see. Because I've seen green laser pointers. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, red is menacing. You're right. I'd like a pink one for a change. It's almost indistinguishable. Right before you get sniped, you're like, oh, my God, it's pink. Exactly. All right. So $55,000.

Melissa, good morning. Hello. How are you? Good. All right. So this is your big moment, Melissa, because if you can tell us what this sound here is, you win $55,000. No pressure.

No. Okay, so I think it might be a bike lock being clamped closed and then the code being scrambled. Oh, okay, like a combination. Is that what you have on your bike lock? No, remember I had them on both of my bicycles that got stolen. Yeah, right. They just cut straight through them. Now I've got that lock that they can't.

But you'll be familiar with clamping a bike lock shut and scrambling. Click it in and then scramble. Because what did we have the other day? We had a safe combination, didn't we? Yes, like a twisting one on a safe, yeah. So you're saying that that's going in, the bike lock, the combination lock is going in, and it's twisting. You're twisting the numbers, scrambling the numbers.

Yeah. Melissa, the first clue was the sound is at Gary's work. How do you think that fits in? Well, you might bike to work, so. He's got an e-bike. He's got an e-bike. Oh. Oh. He doesn't want anyone stealing that thing.

I don't know if anyone would, would they? It's a quality e-bike. Melissa? Yes. What? I don't know, it's just adding to some suspense by going, oh. No, you were down. That was a down inflection.

I was just reading Gary's. Gary hadn't even done anything. I was reading his face. Was I right, Gary? Fletch, you were right. It is not the secret sound, but I don't need that pessimism. Positive, please. Am I a bad person?

Am I a bad person is a segment where someone comes to us with a moral conundrum and we basically decide kind of who's in the wrong. Yeah. They might not necessarily be a bad person. We need your help with this. Hannah, good morning. Good morning. How are you going?

Good, thank you. All right, so you'd like us to judge you. Are you a bad person? Tell us what happened. Okay, so pretty much I've been friends with this guy since primary school. We kind of always had a little bit of a thing. Kind of never really gone anywhere, but we tried it once. It didn't really work, but he's always, you know, close to my heart. He moved to Sydney about six months ago.

And another one of my friends who also knows him has just moved there as well. She moved to Sydney about six months ago and another one of my friends who also knows him has just moved there as well. She's been there about a month and she just told me the other day that she's gotten with him and I'm like,

okay, that's alright but am I a bad person for thinking like she's kind of broken the girl code here because she knows our history and she knows

what it made me mad. But I just, I have no claim to him. I'm not really, I don't know what I can do. Yeah, it's hard because you don't own him, do you?

I don't own him at all. Yeah, and he's obviously hot if you're both into him. Well, I mean, yeah, it's kind of a wee bit. I'm not really into him, but she says it, like, meant nothing,

but I'm still, like, mad at her. Like, no, I can't really be. Because you're bagsy to human. Yeah, exactly. I can't really bag be exactly human. I mean, we didn't even date, really. No, you said you tried it and it didn't work, right?

Yeah, we kind of thought we better not push the friendship because we're just such good friends. I do know what you mean, though. That is kind of girl code. Yeah, it is. I mean, if you'd gone though. That is kind of girl code. You don't... Yeah, it is. Yeah, but if you, I mean, if you'd gone out with him for a year or six months,

sure, I'd understand, but it was nothing, really, in the scheme of things. So I don't think you can be angry. No, I know. I just can't help being it. I don't know what to say to her. You can't say it's nothing

because obviously this whole thing has meant something to Hannah. Even though you can't put an exact label on it, he's, like, meant something to you. She knew that as well, how close we were, and, like, she knew that. I even said to her, I, like, laughed and said, oh, don't get with him.

Oh, you're over there. Ha-ha. Oh, man, she did. Oh, yeah, right. Are we thinking we might cancel her and never talk to her again? Oh, we better not. She's a very good friend. But I just, I think this will taint our friendship forever.

So do you think they could end up together? Like, could they end up being proper boyfriend-girlfriend? Well, if they were, then oh, I don't know. Do you think she's lying when she told you that it meant nothing? Well, that's the thing. You don't know, do you? I think she could either be telling me that to make me feel better or, yeah, she could have meant something.

I'm kind of more angry at her if it meant nothing because if there was a genuine relationship happening, you can't really stand in the way of that. And then two of your friends find happiness, that's great. But if she just did it for shits and gigs, that's worse. Yeah, what's the point? Unless they had the whole of Sydney, they could have done it with anyone else.

It's tough. Yeah, it's not like there aren't more than two hot people in Sydney. There's a lot of them. Multitudes of hot people. Okay, well, let's take some calls. Maybe you're listening. Maybe you've been in this situation. Oh, so many people would have.

So many, yeah, so many would have. Like, what are the rules here for the girl code? Yeah. Or if, you know, one of your friends has gone there, are you allowed to? Does it depend on how, you know, into each other they were? What level? Because you say no, you're not allowed to

until you're in the situation where there's a hottie that you're kind of into, but your friend's been with them before. And then suddenly all the lines get blurred. Yeah, because hot people just do that thing to you where you're in the situation where there's a hottie that you're kind of into, but your friend's been with them before, and then suddenly all the lines get blurred. Yeah, because hot people just do that thing to you where you're just like... Yeah, they rule break, don't they? They make you break the rules too. Kayla, what do you think? Is she a bad person?

Yes. Why? Well, the fact is that there's two scenarios with this. She's only angry at her friend and not him as well. If they were that close, he wouldn't have done it as well, no matter if it's a male or a female. And also, too, the fact is if he wanted to be with her, he would be. Does that make sense?

Yeah, that is the thing. You can't really bagsy humans, I guess. Well, no, you can't. No. Thanks, Kayla. Adam, what do you think? Bad person or not? I'm not going to get into the is she or is she not,

but the question that I have is, is she upset with him as well? Because it seems like she's only upset with the girlfriend, but also, you know, I mean, it takes two to tango. He's also done this, and is she absolutely fine with him, still likes him just the same, but she's only upset with the girlfriend, but also, you know, I mean, it takes two to tango. He's also done this, and is she absolutely fine with him, still likes him just the same, but she's only upset with the girlfriend. And I don't know if the guy knows how much she, or knows her true

feelings, but the girlfriend does. Yeah, yeah, and I completely understand that, but at the same time, do you still feel the same for him as you did before? But she did say to him, don't hook up with her before. Yeah, exactly. I understand why you'd be upset with the friend

because the friend knew and he didn't. But if you still have the same feelings towards him, but your feelings have changed towards the girl, I mean, he's gone there as well, which means his mindset is in a different direction to you, which, you know, is hard to accept. I get what you're saying, Adam, but us females,

the fact that she hooked up with him just probably makes her want him more because she can't have him. We're a complicated creature. And you thought the Da Vinci Code was hard to work out. Hey, thanks you call, Adam. Cam, what do you think? Is she a bad person? Yeah, a little bit. Look, he's free real estate, I reckon.

Yeah, right, okay. He's on the market. Yeah, man, if it didn't work out, he's up for grabs. He's free real estate, if you ask me. Do you reckon he'll be put to tender or auction? How are we going to get rid of this fella? Yeah, no, he'll be on the market pretty quick, mate. He'll be hot demand.

I'd go auction then. You want people bidding. The passion. be on the market pretty quick, mate. Yeah. I'd go auction then. Yeah. You want people bidding. If there's the demand. Yeah. The passion. And that's what a lot of people are saying. You can't bagsy people.

No. And like if it didn't work out for them, she can't stand in the way of it working out with someone else, even if it is their friend. Yeah. Exactly. Cam, thanks for your call. Charlotte, what do you think? Is she a bad person?

Charlotte. Hey. Hi. Is she a bad person? Charlotte. Hey. Hi. Is she a bad person? No, she's not because I don't think that you should ever choose a guy over your girlfriends. And if she's come out and been honest about it, then you guys should talk about it and move on. Seriously, don't ever choose. Sorry, guys, but don't.

Gotta stick to your girlfriends. True, guys, but don't. Yeah. Gotta stick to your girlfriend. True that she was honest about it. At least she didn't try and hide it. Yeah, true. If she's just with you and, like, got it out in the open,

then clearly, you know, it might not have meant anything and if it had meant something, she would have probably have hidden it. And there are millions and millions and millions

of other guys out there. Yeah. I want that one. I want that one. Thanks, Charlotte. Some text messages. A lot of people saying the same thing. That he seems to have come out of this still being like

the ultimate good guy. But do you know what I mean? I don't know if he actually knows that she feels that way. He's probably oblivious to this. Then I guess it is her friend. Girl code dictates you've got to talk to your mate before anything happens with a dude. It's always hoes before bros. Yeah.

I like that we heard from lots of guys. I love that the guys got involved. Somebody said, gripe, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Who's that referring to? Which is about the worst thing to do with cake. Have it for decorative purposes. Yeah, no.

That's bananas. Always eat the cake. Always. Always eat the cake. That's what the purpose is. Get in there. Don't even like, if no one's around,

just use your fingers. So how would we summarise that then? Nom, nom, nom. Not a bad person? Not a bad person. Oh no, no. She's bad person? Not a bad person. Oh, no, no. She's the bad person. Yeah.

Yes. It's time for... Fact of the Day, Day, Day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Today's fact of the day is about a little Irish town called Ringaskiddy. Ringaskiddy. Okay. Ringaskiddy. Are you saying it right?

Ringaskiddy. I don't know. Ringaskiddy. Very Kiwi of you. Ringaskiddy. Ringaskiddy. Okay. What about this town? It's in Ireland.

Well, in 1998, it started making at the local Pfizer factory, Viagra. And all the world's Viagra is made. Unless areas require medication to be made in country, because there is the odd country around the world where that's... The thing. You can't import medication. It's got to be made there. Different health regulations around the world.

And in 1998, the Viagra for the world started being made in Ringaskiddy in Ireland. Right. Now, after it opened, Debbie O'Grady, who works at the Ferry Boat Inn, said that since the factory opened, one whiff and you're stiff. Oh, my God. Even smelling it.

Actually, I think I've heard this story. Really? She claims that after the factory opens, there was a baby boom, and visitors who moved to the town reported higher activity down south. Yeah, right. Okay. What? Yeah. And they said.

Wait, so. Because it's in the air. Why would you smell it? Do they cook it? Well, it's made in these factory fumes. Oh, right. Yeah, there's fumes that come out of the factory and people say when the wind's right, it blows right into town

and that's when you get the old... Yeah, the stiff northerly. Way, very stiff northerly. Your stiff northerly leads to a stiff southerly. Yeah. Right. Wow. Yeah. Right. Wow. Yeah.

Now. What about workers in the factory? Yeah. That would be even worse, wouldn't it? The factory itself has denied that this is possible, but the locals have all reported it. They've been ventilation, right? Ventilation, they said.

It's all. Pump the fumes outside. It's all in their head. Yeah. They said it's all. What is? The blood. The blood.

Yeah. Yeah. They said this shouldn't said this wouldn't be happening. It's manufactured to the strict FDA and they said this is a placebo effect. People believe it and then somebody says it and then somebody else says it. But all the locals swear by it. Yeah, right. Swear by

the fact that since this factory opened, they've been a little bit more randy. Either that or they're just dumping some chemicals into the town water supply. Also possible. That would be quite inconvenient, though, because you can't control when you're getting a whiff of the fumes. You've got stuff to do. Yeah. Go into the supermarket.

A serious moment, like a funeral. A lot of track pants. A lot of track pants. No, not track pants. No, track pants would be the supermarket. A serious moment, like a funeral. A lot of track pants. A lot of track pants. No, not track pants. No, track pants would be the worst. No, you'd tuck it up under the belt. Grey track pants. No, it'd be...

You'd tuck it up under the waist strap tie, but then you've got to make sure the T-shirt, don't have the T-shirt tucked right in. Oh, God, a little helmet poking through. Oh, it's like I'm an intermediate all over again. Happens once. And then just down the road from Ringaskiddy is a small town of Westport

and that's where all the world's Botox is made. Good Lord. Wow, okay. So you go stiff in both directions. Yeah. Brilliant. So today's fact of the day is there is a small Irish town

where all the Viagra's made and the locals have a saying, when the wind blows the right way, one whiff and you're stiff. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I was going to say this is bad news for us. It's just bad news for me. It's women. I didn't know it was just women. Women? If you didn't have a good night's sleep last night

And you're a woman I'm sorry to tell you That it leads to bad eating habits They But not men that get No Oh really Well they just tracked women's sleep

Right Because I'm pretty sure Sleep is just as important as exercise Isn't it they say? Mm Like if you're not getting enough sleep That's how I justify not going to the gym sometimes I'm like I'm tired I need to sleep instead Yes It's just as important as exercise, isn't it, they say. Like if you're not getting enough sleep. That's how I justify not going to the gym sometimes.

I'm like, I'm tired. I need to sleep instead. Yes. But I think that's right. That's good though. Yeah. So they studied 500 women's sleeping patterns. They found that people who take longer to fall asleep at night eat more calories during the day. So it might be that when you do go to sleep,

you get a good sleep. Yeah. But the longer you take to get to sleep is a problem. It's a vicious cycle because like I'll fall asleep easily if I've been really active during the day. Like if I go to the gym or go for a big bike ride or whatever, I'll fall asleep. But then if you don't,

and then you decide I'll just have lollies instead, and then you get to bed later, and then you don't get a good night's sleep. And then the next day you're like, well, I won't go to the gym. Because I'm tired. You're tired and then you don't get enough sleep. It's just a horrible cycle, isn't it? Life. I've always heard that.

Life, the horrible cycle. I've always heard that if you are tired or have a poor sleep that you make bad food choices. Right. Or higher calorie food choices. Yeah. And I thought it was just because you're like feeling vulnice and you wanted to treat yourself. But apparently if you are tired, it triggers hunger and suppresses signals that tell the brain that you're full.

Right. But why do I want to eat carbs though? So we want to be tired when we try to eat the whole watermelon. She's been talking about eating a whole watermelon. In 20 minutes. Bryony who works here had on her Instagram story a lad trying to eat a whole watermelon in 20 minutes. Yeah.

Is it her flatmate? I think so. Right. Vaughn and I both reckon we could do. What do they not have Netflix at the flat? No, I don't know how this challenge came about. Right. But then I would have thought it would have been easy because it's predominantly water and seeds. Are you allowed to scoop out all the watermelon, blend it and drink it?

No, no, no. You've got to eat it from the watermelon. You can use an implement. A utensil. Oh, okay. Like an ice cream scoop. You can cut it up or something utensil. Oh, okay. Like an ice cream scoop. You can cut it up or something. Yeah.

Yep. Okay. So that's what I was thinking. Cut it into four. Yep. So then you know you've got to finish a quarter every five minutes. Yep. And then slice that into five sections so you know you've got to be finishing one of those

a minute. Okay. And then you've got to be eating like that non-stop for 20 minutes to get it done. So what you want to do is have a really bad night's sleep. And then you'll be like hungry and then you'll be able to hit that watermelon. And your body won't be able to tell you when you're full. But he didn't get to 20 minutes and he hadn't finished this chap. He gave up with five minutes to go because it made him feel so sick.

So that's the other thing. I guess it's like eating a lot of or drinking a ton of juice. Yeah. I don't think you could do that, to be honest. In 20 minutes, eat a whole watermelon. It sounds like a challenge. It sounds like a challenge. I mean, I want to see it.

You do want to see it. Yeah. Do you have to take the pips out? No, no, no. I've got no interest in doing this. No time. Just eat it. Yeah.

That's one second wasted spitting a pip out. Yeah. Might as well just swallow it. Yeah, yeah. Just swallow it. one second wasted spitting a pip out. Yeah, you might as well just swallow it. Yeah, yeah, just swallow it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There was a study, I think it was run by a bathroom supply company. This is probably why they just looked into the shower habits of humans. Over a thousand British took part in this,

and they found out various things like blowing your nose in the shower. I do that. Yeah. Is that bad? I think it was like one in five have admitted to that. I would have thought that would have been more. See, that's fine to me because it just goes down the plunk hole. Yeah.

And that's, you know, saving tissue, saving paper. But the one that, the weeing in the shower, that was lower than I thought it would be as well. That's only like half as everybody admits to a wee in the shower. That's disgusting, eh? It was the pooing in the shower, the pooping, that really took me by surprise. I think this took everybody by surprise.

One in 30 people poo in the shower. That's roughly 3% and they asked 1,000 people, so that means 30 of them. Now, so they don't mean that they were, like, say, for example, you were sick with a tummy bug or whatever. And it was accidental. I can understand that. I think they would fall into that category.

But you're talking about people that regularly do this. But that's what they say, yeah. No, there's a difference between do you and have you. Because have you. Do you. Have you suggests yes, maybe not accidentally once. What the hell is wrong with people? That's grim.

That is grim. And you have to assume that those people aren't the only, like, they're not the only people living there. They might be, but like. That's also very true. I thought that plug thing came out of the shower because of the hair that gets trapped in it. Well, every shower is different.

Yeah. The hair trap situation, which is gross enough when it's got hair on it and soap scum. Yeah, it's always when you pick up the... Who is doing that? British, though. You did say this is a British study. Yes.

Do they have different showers or something? But even then... That's grim. It's happening in there. No. I like to think no one I know is doing that. Why are you pointing to the princess? But that's the thing, you look around at people and you're just like. You just don't

know. I mean, I think I know executive intern Anya, but I don't know what she does in the shower. I've got no idea. She might be grim AF behind the scenes. Who are you talking about? You look so guilty, Georgia.

I'm absolutely not. I'm actually very, very clean and tidy and I don't do any of the above. You don't even blow your nose in the shower. I do that. Okay. But I just could not imagine somebody doing that. It's disgusting. What about Mountie?

She's always the quiet ones. Maybe I'm quiet for a reason. No, I definitely... Next shower, she gets to poop in. I definitely don't poop in the shower. It's good to just clarify this with all your friends today. Because there is one in 30 of us that apparently

are. But if you're going hot like this, Mountie's never going to admit it to everybody on the radio. Oh, okay. We should have run and got it. We're in a safe space. We're like, hey guys, here's something that I might try. Have you guys pooped in the shower? Sounds interesting.

And then kind of get them into this false, yeah. Pokes them into this comfort zone where they feel that they can admit it to you and then once they do, just turn on them. Out them and mow them down. Especially because there is literally a toilet in the bathroom. Plumbers, professional opinion on this, if any plumbers are listening, just text in. Surely people, oh yeah, I don't even know if I want to know, to be honest. That's disgusting.

How often they have to deal with it, or if they do have to deal with it. Alright, 90 minutes of non-stop jams coming up, and the jackpot at the moment for ZM's Secret Sound with Save My Bacon, $55,000. He next chance to play is at 11. You are kidding me? What? Somebody said that they went to a boarding school and there had to be an assembly about this.

Pooping in the showers. Because I've heard of assemblies for the other thing. They said there was also another assembly for playing with the staff in the showers. Because I've heard of assemblies for the other thing. They said there was also another assembly for playing with the staff in the shower. Playing with your staff in the shower. Is that how the headmaster got up and said, playing with the staff in the shower. This means Principal Johnson.

Now, thank you everybody. Thank you. But that's actually happened at a boarding school. That is grim. Yeah. And at assembly. Do we want to know?

We're getting some very interesting text messages and I think could explain the numbers a little bit. Without getting, is it gross? Because I don't want to know if it's gross. Yeah, I mean, my mother probably wouldn't know how to compute it if I just dropped this information in there. All right, okay. All right, well, let's just leave it as that.

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