ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 20th

Episode Date: February 20, 2020

Vaughan's Birthday message from his dad, This Is Why I'm Fat, Fletch and Vaughan need to lawyer upSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. Happy birthday to me! Bourne's birthday today. How old are you today? Uh, 26. 26? That was good. Um, no, joke's 28. Oh, believable.

Slightly more believable, right? Uh, 38. That's the truth one. That's the real one. 38. Yeah. I was going to give you a compliment, but I've faked out of it. No, that's good.

No, that's... Why? It's his birthday. Come on. You've got to give him one compliment. No. Maybe later. I'll work on it.

Okay. You think about it. I'll work on it Okay you think about it I'll work on it Don't be in any hurry I want it to be a good one Okay Yep good But you've got to do it

Before the end of the show Yeah I will That can be your birthday present too Okay To Vaughn No I can't Or you want an actual physical It needs to cost money

Right Okay That's my rule for presents I don't actually have you anything I'm just like looking around the room What I can give you Yeah can I just buy you A slice at the cafe after the show?

No, that's bullshit. A mocha and a slice. No, you certainly can't. You can bring it tomorrow and it better be good. But it's like handing in an assignment late. It's got to cost 20% more tomorrow. Right. Than you would have spent today.

Okay. Yeah, right. Okay. Deal. All right. ZM's $100,000 secret sound. All thanks to Save My Bacon making borrowing

better for financially responsible Kiwis you got there $55,000 is the current jackpot now this is the

sound just gotta get through when that activator plays this morning at 7 or 8 and tell us what that sound is

to win that $55,000 cash alright you lot listen up it's story time and tell us what that sound is to win that $55,000 cash. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines.

Vaud and Megan, pick one of the following three headlines. And maybe because it's Vaughan's birthday, he gets to pick. Just saying, Megan. You can have a healthy debate about it. Wow, she's not giving me a free ride on your birthday. I thought on your birthday you could do whatever you want. No, no, no. Headline one, face masks.

Headline two, plaster. Face masks. Yeah, face masks. And headline two, plaster wasn't enough. And headline three, police warned not to hand in explosives. Those are your headlines. Plaster wasn't enough. What's the face face masks one? Do you know I love a face mask?

Is it a face mask that looks like somebody else's face? Face face mask. If you want that story, you've got to choose it. I just thought plaster wasn't enough for some reason. Okay, it's his birthday. It's his birthday. Yay. It's his birthday.

You could probably Google that one, Megan. It's against the rules. It's against the rules, but I'll let you get away with that. We go now to America now and Miami where Shakina Jefferson, she was at the front of her home when she was hit by a stray bullet. Was it a drive-by? She was not the intended target? She wasn't the intended target.

No, she counts herself blessed for having survived a drive-by shooting. And she went to the hospital. She was rushed to a trauma centre where an x-ray confirmed that she went to a trauma centre. She got given a plaster and got sent home. The doctor said you've been

grazed. The bullets grazed you on the side of your head. But it was when she went back that an x-ray found that she actually had a bullet lodged in her head. I'm showing you a picture now of her with a plaster on her head.

Oh my gosh. That's her after she was sent home. Just with literally a... Literally a plaster on her temple. Yep. Wow. What, um... So apparently there were two other Victims noticed her

She's been rushed to the trauma centre The x-ray confirmed she'd been walking around with the bullet She underwent emergency service Surgery to remove the slug From her head That's three days after she was given The plaster and a bandage So apparently she did have a bandage but then

It went to a plaster. But weird, right? Could you not tell the difference between something's gone in there and a graze? Well, maybe not. Yeah, I don't know. Wow, lucky. Yeah, crazy, right? Well, I mean, not lucky, but lucky to survive.

Wow. Yeah, well, two other people were hurt in that shooting. I think she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh my god. But then the right place, because imagine she'd been standing a couple of inches that way. Yeah. It would have gone through the middle of her head. I know, and that's the thing. You always think

God, if only I'd just, you know, what if the toaster hadn't popped so soon? Yeah. I'd be I could have been hit by that bus. Trippy man. Yeah. What if I'd walked a little faster? Yeah, exactly.

Or a little slower. Always what ifs, isn't there? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There is a psycho parking vigilante on the loose in Wellington. This is twice in one week. A Wellington woman who chose to change her name for her own safety and she went with Ruth.

Because it's your chance when you, I'm sorry, but you're picking any name. Yeah. And you go with Ruth. Ruth. Yeah. Ruth. But it's your chance to get a sexy, sexy suit?

She wanted something that just like blended in. Go with us. What's the name you'd use? The name you've always wanted? I don't know. I want something exotic. See? Ruth.

Would you go with Ruth? Nah. Ruth Alina. But then I'd pick something exotic like Donatella That's a Ninja Turtle That's Donatello Donatella And then everyone would be like

You can't win I'm saying she went with Ruth because it's safe You know She went with a safe old name Well Ruth says that this this psycho wrote douche across her windscreen in lipstick. Lipstick, very hard to get off windows. Yeah.

It's a good one if you're trying to be vindictive. And this person was. No real damage, but just so hard to get off. Real greasiness, especially if it's one of those lipsticks that's made to be worn on a big night out. It's salve proof. How had Ruth parked? Like how bad was this parking?

Ruth had half covered a yellow line. Oh, wow. You know one of those no parking yellow lines? She was half covering the parking line. She said the gap was still big enough you could have driven a rubbish truck through it. Right, okay. So, and they're also leaving a note on the windscreen. This happened in a separate incident.

Right. This is twice within one week. A copy of the road code of where not to park. And highlighted is you must not stop or park a vehicle on the right-hand side of the road except in one-way streets. Right. So that must have also been an issue. The car must have been parked on the wrong side of the road.

Why do they care so much? Like, that must be so wound up. Well, they wonder if it's an ex-parking warden. They can't quite let go of the power they once had. No, I don't. Really? Yeah. I can kind of understand the yellow line thing,

if it's like a resident and people are always... And you're having trouble getting past. Yeah. Yeah. But otherwise... But if they're just a little bit on a yellow line, who cares? And like if the car... So they're saying the car's round the wrong way parked on a two-way street.

Yeah, that's highlighted. So that must have happened at some stage as well. Because you've got to drive across the road, right? You've got to be on the wrong side of the road at some stage. I feel like apart from being backwards, it's got no effect on you. No. But they've obviously seen that Ruth parked off on a yellow line now, so I've just decided to be quite picky about Ruth's parking.

Wow. Yeah, she's a... Feels a little bit intimidated. Yeah, right. Do you think they've's a... Feels a little bit intimidated. Yeah, right. Do you think they've got a uniform? Do you think? Like a superhero costume? Well, you'd hope so. I was going to say, is it fair to assume but it's not really fair to assume

that it was a female because of the lipstick? Could be anyone after the lipstick. A drag queen. A vigilante drag queen parking warden. Yes. Oh my god, that is a TV show we all need. What a combination. That would be a great combination. Wouldn't it?

Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening around this nation of ours according to the moods, posts and requests on local Facebook pages. Let's go to the Swanson-Ranui community group.

Kathy writes, random question, but has anyone on Colter Road had a 50 horsepower tractor delivered by mistake? It was supposed to be delivered to, and then she says what number she is Colter Road

I won't say that And they apparently have left it with the neighbours Thanks to the lovely community in advance Left the tractor with the neighbours A fuzzy horsepower Get in the ute and go and drive to the neighbours Yeah you'll soon see it Yeah that's probably the better way to

Yeah But maybe she doesn't know what neighbours. How big's Colter Road? Where's Colter Road? Yeah. But anyway, there's a tractor,

MIA, so if anybody's... I feel like that's the kind of thing you don't just drop off by mistake. No, that seems like... That's a sign...

That's a signature. That's a signature delivery. It's not just like leave it under the mat. Oh my God, could you imagine getting in the car to call? You have to go to that

depot in the middle of some suburb. And they're like, hang on, I'll just get your tractor. Oh, you'd want to ring ahead to know you were going to get a tractor so you could get a trailer. Yeah, you'd turn up in your little car and it's like, here's your tractor. You're like, oh shit. Oh, how am I going to get this on? Give us a hand getting it on the roof. From the Opotiki page, this is the buy, sell, swap freebies page.

Lacey Mo writes, for sale, ugly AF bed, but it's a soft lay test mattress that feels like you're laying on a cloud. Most of my family have been conceived on this bed and probably some of yours too. Oh, okay. As it was a rented holiday home in Takaha for most of its life. $20 extra if you want it DNA tested. Ew. Yuck. I mean, even if I hadn't also just been told.

Oh, my God, yuck. Yeah. I don't know why some people sell beds like that. You've got to take those to the tip. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's nasty. It costs a lot of money to take it to the tip.

Yeah, so actually it's almost better if someone does take it. But if it's pure foam, that could be used to insulate something. Yuck. Like if we reduce, reuse, recycle. Yeah, but still. Could grow some tomato plants in that. Like hydroponics type. Yeah, right.

Wink. He doesn't make tomato plants. Next, let's go to the Otago flatting goods page because drama is unfolding. This is like a Netflix series. Okay. Liam writes, Had a package stolen from Castle Street

containing these clothes. They're pretty distinct because my uncle sent them to me from Ireland. If anyone knows anything or sees anyone wearing these items, please let me know. We've got a couple of Irish rugby jerseys in there, the national team.

Okay. Then we've got a blue, very warm-looking blue coat, which is essential. Yeah. If you've moved to Dunedin. And a red Toyota rugby jersey as well. So those are the ones that I'm missing. This is where John weighs in. John says, how come you've got pictures of your stolen clothes if they've just been delivered?

And why were they in a package? Liam replies, my uncle sent them to my mum in Wellington who took photos before she mailed them to me. John replies, were they a surprise? Why would you send pictures of the clothes? This all seems very odd. Liam replies,

not a surprise, just a gift. John said, okay, so why lay out each piece of clothing and take a picture and then send them to you? Have you had other packages stolen? To which Liam said, uh, they're all second hand,

apart from the brand new jacket. Did you show these pictures to anyone, flatmates or neighbours, before the package arrived? Oh my god. Uh, no I didn't. I'm the only one who currently lives at the address because the other flatmates haven't moved in yet. What the hell? Liam writes, Me and my mum. Huh. Where did the courier drop this? Did they drop it?

Who signed for it? Do you have an authority to leave? Any scan codes on the property? Who delivered at what time of day, morning or late? Is it a suburban run? Uh, and, uh, and John also inquires, what have you done for inquiries with the delivery agent? Any multi-storey buildings near you?

Two-floor flats that could have seen down into your property? Oh, my God. What the hell? Liam's like, I'll give the uni a call tomorrow to see if they have anything on the security cameras. Now, that's great, but what about the answers to all my questions? John. John.

Unless they have motion-sensitive-enabled cameras, high resolution, and they're trained on your flat, it's highly unlikely they'll be able to return the assets. Dylan weighs in. Shit, mate, got any more questions? John replies, I do. I'm in the business of asking questions. What's your line of work?

Do you work? I'm not here to hinder. I'm here to help. So at least you've got something positive to add and help this fella get his gear back. What's your motivation for comments? Wow. Someone's got a tinfoil hat on.

He says, John, jog on. John says, go F yourself. This is a typical reaction from a child. And Dylan says, John, jog on. John says, go F yourself. This is a typical reaction from a child. And Dylan says, that's right, mate. You can have the rest of the day off. That's good for him, Dylan. Good for him, Dylan. And he says, I don't need the day off.

And then questions answered. And that's where we leave it. Oh, no. No. I've got to know. Coming in season two, I'm guessing, eight million more questions.

Those are today's community notices. If you see anything, including the answer to whether or not that package ever got returned, you can screen cap it and send it to us. FBMZM on all them socials. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

So we're talking about binge eating. The part of your brain, if you go on holiday and eat whatever you want. Yep. Junk food, whatever it is. If you just go nuts for a week. Yep. It damages a part of your brain called the hippocampus. The hippocampus.

I'm hearing a lot about the hippo bits of your brain. Why, are we? I see multiple hippo bits. Yeah, I think. Hippocampus. This is the first time I've heard of the hippocampus. A dupla blingata. Right.

You wouldn't even need to go on holiday. You just need a week of unhealthy eating. Yeah. Oh, no. Because we all fall off the wagon a few times, don't we? Yeah. The hippocampus normally is the part of the brain that stops us from eating more food when we're full. And so if you do this for a week, it is enough to damage your hippocampus.

So immediately you're like, am I full? I could do some more. Because do you ever find when you come back from holiday or, you know, you go overseas or whatever, and there's breakfast buffets and then you eat what you want, you drink what you want, you come back and you get into your usual routine and what you eat and you're just like, I'm real hungry still. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's that. That's really bad. And it also is the part of the brain that suppresses memories of how tasty things are. So like, it will help you forget that chippies are really, really good. Right. And so when you binge on the food for a week, it's damaged

and then your cravings are more powerful. Oh God. The hippocampus is right next to the orbital frontal cortex. I watched a documentary on how the brain appreciates beauty.

Now there's this part of your brain, the orbital frontal cortex, when you're like doing a task, it doesn't do anything. When you're concentrating on something but when you're relaxing and looking at like art or like Harry Styles with his pearl necklace. Okay.

That part of your brain fires up. The orbital frontal cortex comes to life. Now I'm just looking at a picture of a brain. They're bloody next to each other. That's why when I look at like food, I think it's beautiful. Look at that brisket. Oh, right. Look at that breast skin. They get beauty. That's what I'm blaming.

Right. So if someone has a damaged, what's this thing? Orbital frontal cortex. Yeah. Could that explain why they're a 10 with a 2? As well? Maybe. Or.

Yeah, and they've got like, so I should be looking for someone with a head trauma. That's really hot. Just people. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh,

you need to be watched. If you've got a head trauma, you should be like, normal people don't say stuff like that. I don't think. Oh my God. But then are they not going to find food?

No, no, no. It's just not going to work, is it? They might. Hey, never write it off. Say you need

someone with head trauma to find you attractive. Oh, I'm joking. Oh my God, that was really

sad. Thinking back at that. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hello there. What a great day for birthdays. Says you who's having a birthday. Who's having a birthday. Well, if you're born on February 20 like me, you're born on the Aquarius Pisces cusp, and this is the cusp of sensitivity. And it affords you certain privileges that others may not get.

For example, you're able to charm the world with ease. This means that you can get other people to do things your way at most times and the good thing is you'll use this ability for the sake of humanity. You're empathetic and you can sense the pain and suffering of others and that's why you're involved in humanitarian projects. That can be further from the truth. So the top six other people having birthdays today. Okay.

Heaps. Yeah, right. These are all legit. Yep, these are all legit. Okay, cool. Number six on the list, born in 1984, making them 36 years old today, Trevor Noah, South African host of The Daily Show. We're the same age.

We're both 84 babies. But he's got my birthday. I only put this on the list for Megan. I love him. You do love him. She's a bit gaga. You've got to think for South Africans. I mean, you did marry one.

Yeah. My husband gets so annoyed when I'm like, oh, my God, Trevor Noah. He's like, chill out, you've got a separate boy. Yeah, because he's just like the older version of him. Yeah. He doesn't like it though. A mocker South African. Yeah.

Good stuff. Okay. I love Trevor. Yeah. Sounds like you'll be having a one o'clock Trevor Noah. It's got such a cute accent. Don't you remember? No.

No. No. Okay. No. I miss Jon Stewart from The Daily Show, but don't worry about it. Anyway. We move on. Excuse me.

Number five on the list of the top six other great people celebrating their birthdays today. Yulia Volkova from Tattoo. All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head. This is not enough. 35 years old today. Wow, really? Yeah. I would have thought older.

Apparently she's not talking to the other tattoo. Really? Girl. Why? I think it was the other one that went like full-blown homophobic. Oh, okay, right. But weren't they lesbians? I think that was a ruse. That was just a marketing. Oh, okay, right. But weren't they lesbians? I think that was a ruse.

That was just a marketing. Oh, to sell albums. Marketing. Yeah. Okay. Number four on the list of the top six other great people celebrating birthdays today, Brian from the Backstreet Boys. Oh.

He's 45 years old today. Be right here. Is he the little one? He's the one who had the heart surgery. Oh, no. We almost lost Brian. We should be very grateful that he's still here? He's the one who had the heart surgery. Oh, no. We almost lost Brian. We should be very grateful that he's still here. He bounced back thanks to the miracles of modern day medicine.

And now he's back touring. Someone that didn't bounce back and at number three is Kurt Cobain. He would have been 53 years old today. Do you share a birthday with Kurt Cobain? With Kurt Cobain, yeah. Wow. I did not know that. I share attributes with all of these people.

What are your attributes? Trevor and I are very entertaining and Megan likes us. My thing in common with Yulia from Tattoo is I'm also into hot Russian chicks. Okay, yeah. Brian, I've got the voice of an angel. Yeah, obviously. Kurt Cobain, I'm a... You love cardigans?

An icon of a generation. Yeah, absolutely. Number two on the list of the top six other great people celebrating birthdays today, Rihanna is 32. Is she? Rihanna and I both look Fantastic in our knickers Very true

I mean you're not wrong Can't be denied Fenty X Smith Yeah What a collab Knicker collab

Yeah Coming out I just said I'm Smith knickers I gotta like Smith knickers Take off Yeah you know like You know how that little Sexy band always Pops above the jeans Like imagine if it I just said I'm Smith Nickers. I got to like... Smith Nickers.

You know how that little sexy band always pops above the jeans? Imagine if it just said Smith. Hey, whoa. Whoa. Calvin Klein. You're feeding a lot of people. Born Smith Nickers. No, I would say Fenty Smith. We're not settled on the name.

We can workshop that. Smickers. Smickers. Smackers. Yeah, put on your Smickers. Smickers. Smickers. Smackers. Yeah, put on your smickers. Put on your smickers. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six other great people celebrating birthdays today.

And also, I haven't come up with this person. We're both industry-leading supermodels. Cindy Crawford is 54 today. Wow. Cindy Crawford, 54. Incredible. Didn't her son just get tattered on his face? Yeah, misunderstood on his face. Crawford, 54. Incredible. Didn't her son just get tatted on his face? Misunderstood on his face.

Happy birthday, Mama. Made a huge mistake. That is today's Top 6. And it's all thanks to Save My Bacon, making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Soundkeeper Gary, good morning. Morning, guys.

You sound tired, mate. Are you alright? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was out. I pushed the boat out last night, so it's going to be a tough day. Clea, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Alright, this is the secret sound. And that $55,000 is yours if you can tell us what it is.

Okay. Is it an automatic umbrella being opened when you push the button and the pole extends and then the umbrella opens up? Oh, that's a good guess. That's a good guess. It fits. Because that might not be like a sigh at all. It sounds like someone going, or a gasp.

Yeah. It could be the umbrella going. Oh, that's a really good guess. This music is driving Soundcapper Gary's hangover to the next level. I kind of just need to hear that I'm wrong because I've had that in my mind for like three and a half weeks and it's driving me crazy. Well at least even if it's

not right, you've got it, you know it's not right and you've got it out of your brain. Yeah. Well Claire, I've got a real hatred of pointless inventions and I would never make something like that a secret sound. So I can guarantee you that is not what the secret sound is. That's not pointless.

What's pointless about a self-opening umbrella? Well, you can just pull up a normal umbrella. Gary, don't be down, mate. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We want to talk about if you've ever received a gift that offended you. Not because it's my birthday and I have received a gift that offended me. It would be the lack of gift that has offended me thus far today. Well, I don't have anything for you.

We don't get each other's presents. And famously, one birthday you completely ignored me the whole morning. So that's his payback. That was fun. And Megan at the end of it was so dark because she actually thought we'd forgotten, but we just purposely ignored it. Because I'd given you a bloody countdown all week too.

So this gift is from a landlord to the tenants of the landlord's property. And I'd be interested to know your opinion on this, but it was a housewarming present. A landlord gave their tenants a whole bunch of cleaning products. And so this is in the news because they're offended by it. Yeah. They said that they found it very passive-aggressive.

How long had they lived there? It was a housewarming gift. So they're just moving in. Oh, that's fine. It was a newly renovated unit, and they just said this is a housewarming gift. So they're just moving in. Oh, that's fine. It was a newly renovated unit. And they just said, this is a housewarming gift to keep our renovated unit in good order. That's totally fine. Clothes, pegs, toilet paper, air freshener, toilet bleach, cleaning spray, sponges, and a pack of Tim Tams.

That's nice. That's nice. I would have been stoked. People are saying it's passive aggressive. No, see, they're taking it the wrong way. That's expense. I would have been stoked. People are saying it's passive aggressive. No, see, they're taking it the wrong way. That's expense. Cleaning products are expensive. Yeah.

And you're going to need them. And it's kind of just fitting that it comes from your landlord because, of course, they want you to clean. But, like, it's all... They've got the good brands too. Also, they didn't cheap out on... That's a lot of money. They've got the Jif, not the Kif, which I got the Kif.

You got the parallel imported. From Cracker Jack, I got the Kif. The Kif. The Kif. I've got the jiff not the cliff which I got the cliff. You got the parallel imported. From Cracker Jack I got the cliff. They've got Dettol Palmolive for the dishes and an Airwick air freshener not just some bloody

Yuck. I don't do air fresheners. Yeah it is lavender it is lavender scented by the looks. But most of that is not that's not like

changing the cleanliness of their house that's them doing dishes which which they're going to do. You would hope. Yeah. And then air freshener. Yeah. That's for them.

It's not really affecting their house. That's just so expensive. I think that's a nice present. Yeah. How did this get? Well, the tenant, from what I can see, the tenant didn't put it up whinging. Yeah. More of just an interesting.

Interested to see your thoughts. Yeah. Right. And people said, oh, that's passive aggressive, and oh, I wouldn't like that, and I've got a specific cleaning product brand. I'd rather have a landlord that didn't care, didn't fix, you know,

didn't renovate the place I was staying in, left the roof with a hole in it. Yeah. Rats. And as far as I can remember, I've never received a housewarming present from a landlord. No, like, no, I've never. No, exactly.

So, but not in this case. Yeah. The question we're asking is if you've ever received a gift that did offend you. Yeah, right. I feel like nannies and grandparents would be good at this. Yeah. Like giving you a pair of jeans or clothes that are like maybe a couple of sizes too small and adding on. They're not quite the right size and they're like, you know.

The only one I can remember is a hacky sack. Remember I got a hacky sack from someone and they should have known me a lot better. Because when I ever, I mean mean I'm from Nelson but I don't play hacky sack when but also that's it you could couldn't you it's not like am I going it's not a rugby ball do you know me at all do I strike you as someone who's gonna rock out there and nah because you'd probably hurt your hip but also I won't be wearing appropriate shoes for hacky sack that's right, all clothing. We don't want you to get up and accidentally see your foo-foo.

Playing hacky sack. You should be privileged. I'm not going to get high enough to see the foo-foo. Alice, what gift offended you? Good morning. So, about six years ago, my dad bought me a gym membership for a year. For Christmas. Yeah, wow. Had you said that that was something you wanted? About six years ago, my dad bought me a gym membership for a year. Oh. For Christmas.

Yeah, wow. Had you said that that was something you wanted? No, I've never worked out a day in my life. Right, okay. I'm not athletic at all. Right, did you use it? I went twice, and once was only to the car park. Oh, yeah, because the car park sometimes is full, and you're like, I just have to go home.

Yeah, and it looks like it's nice. And I got there, and I sat in the car, and I was like, do I really want to go work out? So you actually parked? Yes. Wow, okay. And did you end up selling it, or did you just let it run out? No, I let it run out.

And then I lived with my dad at the time, and I got payback and started adding, like, protein powder and stuff like that to his food. I think he gained in total, like, 10kg. Well, that'll teach him, won't it? Thanks for your call. Hayley, what gift offended you? Hi.

We, as kids, we all used to get together with our cousins and everything for Christmas. Yeah. And my auntie gave us rusty nails and told us that Jesus died for everything for Christmas. Yeah. And my auntie gave us rusty nails and told us that Jesus died for us for Christmas. That is the worst. He didn't. He was born at Christmas.

He died at Easter. Now, that's a more fitting gift to give at Easter. Wow. And you could have got tetanus from those rusty nails too. You certainly could have. Thanks, auntie. Simon, what gift offended you? Good morning, guys.

So for Christmas, when I was in high school, my uncle bought me a packet of Proactive Solution for my acne. Ouch. Ouch. That's not a Christmas gift. I know it's there, uncle, but let me deal with it. I don't need you pointing it out. Yeah.

It didn't work. It didn't work at all. Really? And it went away by out. Yeah, it didn't work. It didn't work at all. So I completely stopped using it. And it went away by itself. So, yeah. Was Proactive the stuff that took the colour out the towels? Yeah.

Yeah. You'd wash your face so that you'd dry your face and the next day you'd be missing colour or parts on the towel. You'd be like, what's doing that to the towels? Hey, Simon, thanks. You're cool. Vicky, what gift offended you? So it was a gift from my ex-mother-in-law.

First Christmas, this was many years ago, first Christmas ever with the family, and she got me a set of bathroom scales. Rude. I know. And they do the whole, everyone has to watch while you open your presents. What did she say

When you'd opened it? Nothing No I was just like Um Thanks glitter under my seat That is so rude I know What the hell

It's just like The most offensive No one needs Bathrooms to get scouts Do you ever go To a hotel And they're in a hotel? No

It's like No I'm on holiday I'm on gone to a hotel and they're in a hotel? No. It's like, no. I'm on holiday. I'm on holiday. I don't mean ever be in a hotel. Some people say they're there for your suitcases, but I don't buy that. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning

as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, brilliant. Hey, Vicky, thanks. You called some text messages. Follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, brilliant.

Hey, Vicky, thanks. You called some text messages. My husband's parents bought him a self-help book for his 40th. That was a bit of a way of, I guess, telling him to get it together. Your life's been pretty average until this 40-year mark. Yeah. At the work morning tea before leaving to go on maternity leave for my third baby, they gave me a box of essentials, which included condoms, as a hint that I needed to stop having babies and taking all this maternity leave.

Subtle. Are you allowed to do that? I don't know. It feels like maybe you're not allowed to do that. When I was 15, my auntie bought me a G-string. It was insulting because she was kind of implying I was a bit promiscuous. Yeah, right. So, and she knew exactly what she was doing.

Own it. Auntie's just jealous. Yeah, true. I got given an aftershave. I had a fully grown beard. And they were basically telling me it was time to have a shave. Rude. Welcome to the Fleetsche Warner Megan podcast,

brought to you by McCafe, for great barista-made coffee on the go. Blackout movie! This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why, this is why, this is why I'm fat. Well, this is why I'm fat in a segment of the show where we take a look at new food trends and items hitting the shelves around the world and around the country and across the ditch in Australia.

Normally a good indication that something will happen here too. Much like the Cadbury products. Yeah. When we last spoke, what was it that we last talked? No, it wasn't marble. Marble chocolate. Yeah. There were rumours abound in Australia that that was being trialled.

Somebody also... Back from the dead said... What was the other one that was rumoured? Remember we talked about it? And we wrongly identified it. You need to give us more info. Remember we said a chocolate was... Was it top deck?

But somebody said it had a bit in the middle. No, marble has a praline centre. Marble has a praline centre. That's the one that... That's what it was. Apparently might be coming back. Well, anyway, Australia are going crazy at the moment because there is a mashups, a bag of chips called mashups, which features three cheesy favourite chips in one bag.

Twisties. All in the same bag. Doritos and Cheetos. Now, we don't have Cheetos. Cheetos don't sell in New Zealand. They're the same bag. Doritos and Cheetos. Now, we don't have Cheetos. Cheetos don't sell in New Zealand. They're like rations. They're like rations. They're a fair bit like rations

except a bit harder. Yeah, it'd be like Twisties, rations and Doritos or cheese balls all in the same bag. And so they just tip them in the same bag. They're not individually wrapped.

But what? Are they all just cheese flavour? Yeah. I don't know how I feel about it. I have a real thing about mixing my food. Because at the weekend I was at a party and somebody had a giant bowl and they put all the potato chips in the bowl

and there were different flavours. And I didn't like that because you'd have a chicken. The annoying part about that is they all look the same. Yeah, they do. But these are different looking and similar tasting. But I don't even like mixing stuff on my plate. What Doritos did they put in there? Ah, the cheese Doritos.

So it's all cheese flavour. Not for double salsa. I know, but one's crunchy and one's soft and... But you got cheeseburger flavoured. Yeah. Well, see, I don't know who... I think it'd be, what, Bluebird would have to do this here. Yeah.

Well, you said one of them was twisties, right? Yeah, one of them, because they're twisties, aren't they? Or is that Eater? Who does Doritos? Bluebird does Doritos, eh? Or is it Eater? God, I don't know my chip brains. But anyway, this, apparently in Australia, people have been going absolutely crazy for this.

Really? Yeah. So, I don't know. If that would ever. I already find it. Oh, I guess maybe know. If that would ever... I already find it... Oh, I guess maybe that would make it easier. I was going to say, it's hard standing there being like, okay, what flavour should we get?

I mean, the thing is you could just literally go to the supermarket and buy... Three bags. Three bags and put them in one bowl and try that out. Either do ripple cut and cheese balls and munchos. I can't see anything. So, you couldn't put munchos in with cheese balls And munchos I can't see anything So you couldn't put Munchos in with

Cheese balls Or burger rings Why not I don't know Because different flavours Yeah I'm okay with a little bit Of spicy tomato

Mix in with my burger ring No but it wouldn't Take over the burger ring One of the chips Is bound to take over The flavour of all the others But that's alright That's a flavour battle

You pull the twisty out And it's got spicy Muncho flavouring on it. Yeah, good, good, good. Yeah, okay, maybe I would like that. Good, good. And a cheese ball's

met its end and it's been impaled by it so you get to eat one of those on the end of it. Right. It's good as well. All right, wow.

This is why I'm fat. This is why I'm fat. This is why, this is why, this is why I'm fat. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

There's something you can sniff to make you sleep better. It is your partner's clothes. Right, okay. Oh, babes. What if you don't have a partner? How do you get to sleep? Yeah, I don't know. Exert yourself.

Surely somebody with some clothing behind you could have a little whiff on and be like, oh oh yeah, last Tuesday. Or was that? Last Tuesday? Two Wednesdays ago. Yuck. That is disgusting. So the study was done where they got people's romantic partners to wear a t-shirt for 24

hours. I thought it was to do with like even fragrances and stuff, but they got them to wear nothing. Right. So it's natural body odour. And then they gave two shirts, one was the one the partner was wearing and one was, what do you call it, placebo.

Yeah. And the people had to sleep two nights with one with each t-shirt. But were they wearing the t-shirt or were they just... So they put the t-shirt over their pillow. Oh, okay. It's like a pillowcase. Yeah, right, okay.

And there was a vast improvement in their sleep when they slept with their partner's T-shirt. Wow, so if Bay goes away for work for a couple of days... Yeah. He just put his T-shirt... Bay? Bay. I'm still saying Bay.

I'm Fletcher. Oh, I'm saying it ironically in a funny way What are the kids calling their significant others these days? Bae, boo What do you call Executive Internani, what do you say?

Bae No one says bae No they say bae Boo Is that your cute nickname for Andy? No, no one says bae. No, they say bae. Boo. Boo. Bum bum. You say boo. Bum bum.

Is that your cute nickname for Andy? Bum bum. Yeah. Is it actually? Yeah. So if bum bum went away. No, it's not bum bum. It's bun bun.

Why is it bun bun? I don't know. It sounds cute though, doesn't it? Bun bun. Bun bun. Why do you call him bun bun? I don't know. What do you call him?

You do know why. Oh my God. You do know why. He shall henceforth be known as bun bun every time he comes in here don't know. You do know why. You do know why. He shall henceforth be known as Bun Bun every time he comes in here. You know. Now tell us. No, genuinely, just one day, I think I just threw it out there and was like, oh, how's this going to go?

And then he was receptive. Yeah, you just come up with random things. Like, I call Andrew sausage and I don't know why. Mountie has a great one, though. What is it? I call him Banana. Why are we all going for phallic objects? I don't know. Banana.

Yeah. Does banana smell like bananas? No, well, you can be a good banana or a bad banana. Oh, so if you spank the banana, it's going to breathe. You can be a bad banana. So if he's a bad banana, it's going to bleed. You've been a bad banana. If he's a bad banana. Okay, right. Wow.

Okay. Right. So if banana went away for a couple of days, if they went away for a couple of days, you could sniff their t-shirts. I guess so, yeah. Yeah. I used to do this when,

because my husband lived in America for seven months. Wasn't my husband at the time. That's right. Yeah. And I used to like smell his clothes. We used to Skype each other, didn't you? Yeah, we watched a movie via Skype one time. That's right, you synced up the movie. Yeah. Cute, eh?

But what would you use to sleep with some of his clothes? Or like, I never washed his pillowcase because it smelled like him. And then like, yeah, I would sometimes. What sleep with some of his clothes? Or like I never washed his pillowcase because it smelled like him. And then like, yeah, I would sometimes. What about when you changed the sheets? What do you mean? No, I left his pillowcase on. Right.

You wouldn't wash it. Yeah. But then did it start to just smell like you? No, because I wouldn't sleep on it. I'd just cuddle it. All right. Does this make me sound cute or sad? Sad.

I was going to say cute, but okay. I don't think that was what you were after. But it worked, though. More sad. Okay, so if someone's away. If they're going away, having a rough sleep. Yep. Oh, God.

This is how I sleep when Shardo's away. Pillows off me. Starfish. Center bed, starfish. Yep. That's how I sleep every night. It's a great day. Once you've kicked them out.

When do you think you'll be that old couple that has separate beds? Why do you think I'm building that tree house? Elton John performed in New Zealand. He has postponed his next two concerts till next year, but those people who went along to that show, some of them feel like they didn't get a full performance. 16 out of 25 songs.

Well, yeah. Not a full performance. That's debated because they said you only missed out on six songs. Yeah, but six. Bangers. Bangers. Right. Like Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, the closing song.

And that's not counting the encore. Yeah, right. The six. So when they said six songs, it doesn't count the two songs for the encore. Right, right. So eight. But he was sick. And initially everyone gave him a standing ovation and was like,

oh my God, Elton, are you okay? He's got walking pneumonia. Oh, that's what we all said. People are quick to turn. Yeah. So there's been, there was a few news stories being like, everyone's turned now, wanting their money back. Then I see on the news last night,

they were discussing how you can go about getting money back or a partial refund for your ticket. Because Consumer New Zealand came out and said, well, look, you didn't get what you paid for, the full concert. The promoters come out and said, no, you're not getting your money back. You've got a battle on your hands. And there were various news stories that, you know, they were like, here's how you get a partial refund.

You go to the Ticketmaster website, you fill out the form. I did it as a laugh because I was like, well, I'm just going to, if there's free money being handed out, I want some. What have you got to lose? There's nothing to lose. I sent the link to Vaughan. You did it for your parents. So your entourage is six people strong, right?

Yeah. You are six out of only 100 people who are asking for refunds. But wait, is it 100 tickets or 100 people who maybe have purchased multiple tickets? No, it's 100 tickets. 100 tickets. No, it's 100 tickets. 100 tickets. Wow. 34,000 people went to that show and there is 100,

including you two and your four other mates that want refunds. Well, this is the thing. We've got a legal battle on our hands now because we're going to have to go to the tribunal. Yeah, the promoter said they will not be issuing any refunds. Well, yeah, I heard him speaking about this. He was very adamant. If that happens, it doesn't matter.

But if there's refunds, Vaughan, what are you doing? Don't speak like that. No, they've literally said it's probably going to end up at the, what is it, the Tribunal? Wait, but they'll, the Commerce Commission will do it. Never say you'd be happy with nothing. The Commerce Commission. We want the partial refund.

You're going to go to court over a hundred bucks? Yeah, but I don't have to go. Do I? I don't have to turn up. This is what I'm saying. We're going to need to lawyer up. You're going to have to wear a shirt. I'm not going.

No, I'll wear a t-shirt. Like a polo shirt. A polo shirt. A collared t-shirt. A collared t-shirt. A polo shirt. You know I don't like wearing shirts. Executive intern

Anya has, have we had any offers of pro bono legal aid? No. What about the lady, the lawyer lady that gets the secret sound at seven? She said she's a lawyer. Yeah, as soon as I explained what it was, she really wanted to distance herself from it. Right. She's probably in a different area of law.

Because did you know that there's different areas that don't know everything about all the laws? Yeah. Yeah, there's different areas in radio. Like if you step away from the microphone, you can't do anything else. But I can do everything else. Right.

Accountants, is that another one? Yep. No, exactly. Different areas. Different areas. Lots of workplaces. They don't all really... Lots of workplaces. They don't all really dig GST jokes and stuff. Well, I'm certainly not paying for a lawyer.

Right. But I feel like we could do this ourselves by going to law libraries and looking up in old textbooks. You can't have lawyers in a dispute tribunal. Somebody's just messaged in. Fantastic. So the little person's got to go up against the big person and the little person doesn't know anything about

tribrunals or whatever. Vega life. Tribrunals. Tribrunals. Tribrunals. Brunals. This has got a Disney movie written all over it though, doesn't it?

The little men with their partial concert, the disappointment, and the lanky fight to the end. Yeah. To get their $100 back or something. Where they get a $99 payout. Yeah. That's the kind of stuff you want to see.

Yeah. You want to see people overcoming the odds. Yeah. And true or false, Vaughan Smith, have you told everyone that you bought tickets for that you're asking for a refund for all of their tickets? So the people I bought tickets for, I bought four tickets,

Sade and her mum and my parents. My mum told me to. Yeah. Christine said, apply for the partial refund. Oh, good. It wasn't as good as his 1974 show

at Western Springs. That's what she said? She has said that a lot since the show. Wow. But my mother-in-law said, oh, I can hear, I heard you can apply

for a refund, but who would? Okay, so we're keeping Vaughn has. So we're keeping her money then. Oh, she's not kidding. Absolutely. She's not willing to fly. She vocalised not wanting then. Oh, she's not kidding. Absolutely.

She's not willing to fight. She vocalised not wanting it. Oh, really? Okay, well. She said who would? I would. I would, exactly. Okay, well, I mean, I guess we're going to a tribunal.

When? I don't know. I'm busy. I'm very busy, man. Well, if you don't show up, then they don't award you. Can I send someone to my place to represent me? Absolutely. Yes.

I mean, I don't know. I'll send something weird like a cow or something, and they'll be like, just get that cow out of here and give him his money back. I don't know if that'll work, but I mean, we could try it. Oh. All right, well, Vaughn, it's your birthday. You might not be getting a partial refund back for your birthday,

but we've got something else for you. Yeah. Okay. I don't like the sound of that at all. No hints. Don't give him a hint. No hints. No hints.

You've just got that creepy smirk on Fletcher's face as your hint. Well, it's a creepy. It's not creepy. It's just a smirk. It's coming up, and I'm excited about it. Okay. Okay. Set out.

$100,000 secret sound. With Save My Bacon, making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Soundkeeper Gary. Hello, guys. How's that hangover? I'm actually thinking I might have the pardon. I'm actually getting energised.

I'm starting to feel a lot better. You know a hangover the next day where you're just like, oh, it's not really a thing anymore. Oh, you you're just like Oh it's not really It didn't happen Oh right Oh you've been pardoned It's delayed It would be one of those Midday hangovers

Yeah They're not extra bad Yeah they are Alright well Playing this morning At 8 o'clock Is April Good morning April

Good morning guys Alright so $55,000 Is the current jackpot This is the sound That $55,000 is the current jackpot. This is the sound. That $55,000 is all yours. So much money.

Ev, you can tell us what that sound is. I hope so. So I think it's a confetti cannon popping. A cannon. Because we had the little party. Do we have the party popper? Someone guessed the party popper? Yes we did Someone guessed that

Yeah A little party popper Compared to a confetti cannon Which you all have used But usually struggle with In Secret Sound Because we keep buying the cheap ones Yeah

Yeah that would explain At the start The the big pop. And I gasp. It always gives you a fright. And then a crackle. But then that's assuming it is a gasp in the middle. How do you think it fits some of the clues there, April? Well, the Beyonce clue with Queen Bee,

I think generally most people seem to be going that way, that it's not Queen Bee or anything to do with you doing beehives and things like that. Yeah, that clue went up yesterday, didn't it? It did. Yeah. At work, you guys have them at work, obviously, at ZM.

But I'm using the clue that my friend didn't use yesterday. Okay. Right. Well, April. He used my one yesterday and I'm using his today. Right.

Oh, okay. Tag teaming. Yeah. Well, April. You're both wrong. Oh. Fletch Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. It is Vaughan Smith's birthday today Happy birthday Vaughan

Thank you Thank you We had many a meeting Because you know Someone's birthday comes up You're like What am I going to do Well no

You can't be included in You left Birthday present meetings And we had a No Vaughan group chat Oh yeah That's always a classic Around the birthday time.

No Megan group chat. But we were like, what do we get the guy who's got everything? He's in the 1%. He's got an electric gate. If he wants anything, he goes out and buys it himself. Or gets it from the tip. Famously. Because when I said, what about a barbecue? He's already got five of them. He's got another one from the tip. Famously. Because when I said, what about a barbecue?

He's like, you've already got five of them. You've got another one from the tip. Yep. Do you have five barbecues? Um, three, four, five. Six ones being made and seven's a possibility. Okay. You only need one, but okay, fine.

This is why he's in the 1%. He's got an electric gate and seven barbecues. Because you've got the coal. No, not the coal. Charcoal. Charcoal. Big gassy. Little gassy.

That you take away to the beach. Just a small little hot plate one. And the tree hut's going to need one. Oh, you're dead right, actually. Not if you want the tree hut to. Pretty dangerous to cook with fire when you're living in a wooden tree hut in a tree. Ours is a wood. Huh? Ours is a wood. Huh?

Ours is a wood. Oh, you raised a great point. Yeah. But you don't cook with open fire inside the house. That's true. So you see our dilemma. What on earth to get Vaughan for his birthday? Okay.

Wow. Bring them in. No, I'm joking. No. There's nothing behind you. No one's coming in. No one's coming in. No one's coming in. What we have done for your birthday is we have enlisted the help from your...

No, you can't do this. What do you mean? You're not allowed to do this again. You already did this a couple of years ago. What did we do? With my daughters. Nothing to do with your daughters. Okay.

Yeah. We've enlisted the help from your dad. Vaughan was a very, he was always seemed to be in trouble but he wasn't the guy causing the trouble.

Vaughan and I are very similar really. We've both got a very soft spot we don't always show it but we like giving people hugs he's got a very caring side and that's what we're proud of it's not time to make a change

recently he took delivery of my dad's Land Rover my dad always used to have an Acubra hat and when dad passed away, Vaughan went up to where his nana and papa lived and he said, do you mind if I have a couple of papa's Acubra hats?

And so consequently, when the Land Rover drove down the track, papa may as well have been in the Land Rover and drove down the track because he was in an Acubra hat. The only difference was the guy driving there had a beard and sunglasses on. But yeah, I felt proud and

how do I put this? I know that my dad and that's Vaughan's papa would be very proud of him. Your time, think a lot I think of everything you've got But you will still be here tomorrow He has achieved what he wanted to achieve.

He's got a lovely wife, two gorgeous kids. And he likes sharing that with people and sharing and caring with other people. He's just a loving caring sort of guy and that's what we love about him. They say you share you get your genes far from your father and far from your mother. I think

Vaughan got 75% from me and 25% from his mother. We have had him DNA'd, and he is ours, so that's fine. Happy birthday, Vaughan. All the best on your 38th birthday. It's been 38 years of very interesting moments we have shared with you. I know you're a very caring bloke,

not only to myself, to your mother. We think the world of you. We love you. Enjoy your day. Thanks. He's not dead or anything, right? That would be a cruel twist. Oh, man, that was... Why do you guys like breaking me on my birthday?

Hey! I love my dad so much. And we're one of those families that don't say it much. So that's why that's so special to have. But, yeah, he's... He's a good man. so special to have, but yeah. He's a good man. And thank you so much for those kind words,

Father. Very much appreciated. Damn it! You got me again! Oh, man. Yeah, I'm pretty broken from that, too. Call your father and tell him that you love him today. I will be doing so after work, where I can cry by myself.

Thank you. Well, happy birthday, boy. Thank you. Happy birthday. We give you a lot of shit, but you're a good man. And I know that if I ever need you, you're always there for me, like a brother and this is the only time I'm going to give you these compliments. But it's, yeah, you're a

good guy and you do have a heart of gold and you care a lot about the people around you. So I hope you have a very nice day. Fletch. It's not my birthday. Just what Megan said. That was great great I can't beat that That was really beautiful

I'm cut up by Ian man That was really something He used to smack us so hard That's why that's also People meet my dad now Or even like since we've been adults And everyone really likes him He's like red off that 70s show

That was what we always called him when that show came out because he was a hard man and wasn't afraid to tell it how it is. But yeah, people don't believe that he was ever capable of rolling up the Sunday paper and absolutely jamming your arse with it.

You were a shitbag kid, so-so. Awful, awful children. God. Well, he thinks the world of you now That's good, that's nice, thank you Thanks everybody Also this song You sons of bitches You know this song gets me

Because of that bloody New Zealand post Yeah Great You know the song gets me because of that bloody New Zealand post, Dad. Yeah. Great. There we go. Happy birthday, Vaughn. Woo! Thanks.

We're all right. Everyone needs a cup of tea and a lie down now. Jesus, I'm here. A very emotional birthday message from my father, and I started asking some questions about when that happened. I assumed he'd been nabbed when he was up at the weekend for Elton John at some stage. No.

And I hear that yesterday after the show, Mountie, an executive intern, Anya, actually drove to my parents' house to get that. Yeah, we did a little Thelma and Louise roadie down to Kiwatahi. They told me they had a meeting about the show's social stats. This is how gullible I am, though,

because I thought that that was still happening. I thought you were at a meeting, but I also knew you were going down there. I was like, cut that meeting. So I was like, social stats, eh? Who's taking this meeting? I might hang around. What's the story with this meeting?

Because I was quite interested to see what somebody has to say. Yeah, I had to come up with a fake name. Alan? Yeah, Alan Humphrey. And you were like, oh, where do they work? And I was like,

oh, level two. It was like, oh, it was a social expert that's been hired. But that was the ruse. And then you went to my parents. So you were actually at my parents' place?

Yeah, so. Buns for lunch, was it? Buns for lunch. And so we came up with this idea on Monday and I tried all day to get hold of Ian and tried the home phone, the text. He won't answer a private number.

He doesn't answer. And then he called me right before bed and he's like, sorry, mate, I've been tinkering with a lot of bits and bobs. I was like, absolutely fine. And then we got invited over for lunch. He was like, yeah, that sounds great. Come on down for some food.

And it was lovely we yeah we got buns ham coleslaw coleslaw that's the classic one mom not want to say i was going to say anywhere you were at their parents house mum didn't want to pipe in with some oh we had some great chats off the uh recorder about you but um we thought it'd be cool to have you know your dad's perspective mum didn't feel the need to say anything emotional. Now, she watched the first minute of the interview with Ian and then she left the room and later said, I just disagreed

with you, so I decided to leave. Oh, she didn't leave because she was overcome with emotion? Maybe. Maybe it was that. Yeah. She disagreed with the heartfelt things that Ian was saying. I think it was a great present because you remember when you built the gate? You said you just wanted your dad's approval?

Yeah. You just wanted him to be proud. That gate's on the piss, by the way. Well, you've got it on record now, audio record, that he's proud of you. Yeah, thank goodness he didn't know about the saggy gate before that report. A whole different situation. Yeah, right. That's good.

Now... I'm glad my mum could muster something. Mum's a ruthless, eh? I love it. This would have been a good birthday present for you because you don't have Uber Eats born. You're just out of the zone for Uber Eats. Yes, yes.

Well, they are expanding to seven New Zealand cities this year. So the first, they've only announced some of them. They've announced Palmy, Napier, Hastings and Rotorua. From April, they're going to be turning on Uber Eats. Does that mean you can get also Uber there or just the Eats bit? Oh, I don't know. Because it's normally that the Uber drivers are both, aren't they? Uber breaks the ice and then Uber Yates joins the party.

But maybe not, okay. So then it will be taken to two undisclosed South Island cities and another one in the North Island later in the year. We don't know what they are yet. But it shouldn't be hard to work out. Where's Uber Yates in the South Island at the moment? Christchurch for sure. Queenstown. Is it in Queenstown Christchurch for sure. Queenstown.

Is it in Queenstown? Yeah, it's in Queenstown. Is it in Dunedin? If it's not, obviously that'll be next. Oh my God, it would do so well in Dunedin. Yeah. Surely. So yeah, one more South Island

and then a couple in the North Island. But then I technically live in the city where it already is, but are they blowing the boundaries out? Yeah, it doesn't help you if you're out the zone. Yeah, you've still got to be in the zone. For Uber Eats. Well, I mean, you've got an electric gate and

I'll meet them at the end of the day. You can barbecue, so cook something on your barbecue. Yeah, you'll be fine. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Alright, it's time for Facts of the Day. Day, day, Day, Day.

Yeah. Today's Fact of the Day is about Jeff Bezos. Yes. That is the... Amazon. Yes. Founder. Yep, yep.

Didn't he buy, like, the most expensive house in LA? Yes. That is the... Amazon. Yes. Founder. Yep. Didn't he buy like the most expensive house in LA? Yes. Recently? Yeah. And he came under fire for his donation to the wildfires. Worked out to be like the average person like donating 0.5 cents or something. Yeah, but at least he donated something. He has just started the wildlife...

Is it a wildlife fund or a conservation fund? Yeah, it's like climate change. With like billions of dollars. Yeah. So that's kind of climate change. So he knew that was coming up, so he just put in what he could. Yeah. Yeah, what he had like left over from his salary.

Is he currently the world's richest man? I believe so. Or Bill Gates, because they're always. Well, this is about his wealth. Okay. Which his net worth is 130.1 billion US dollars. Good lord. Today's fact of the day is if you earn $7,000 every hour...

Yep. If every day since the birth of Jesus, so 2020, you still wouldn't be as rich as Jeff Bezos. Holy shit. That is a 7,000 an hour. So if you were born at zero. Yep. And immediately when you were born, you started earning $7,000 an hour.

$7,000 an hour. Every hour, every day. Wow. And you earned that for 2,000 years. Now, am I allowed to put that- You still wouldn't be as rich as Jeff Bezos. Am I allowed to put that money in a compound... A compounding interest. Interest savings

account? No. I don't believe so. But even then... There's a thousand millions and a billion, right? So, yeah, for money and, like, traditionally billions was a million millions, but now everyone just says a billion is a thousand millions. Yeah, right.

So he's got lots of those. He's got a hundred something billion. 130 billion. Do you reckon he's at the supermarket he like looks for? You know when you're looking for something and you're just like, okay, we'll get the cheapest one of these. That's how you get rich, baby. He wouldn't even need

to look though. Would he just grab anything off the shelf? You know what? I don't think he goes to the supermarket. I'll say it. He probably doesn't. I think he'd probably get someone to do that for him.

Yeah. Mind you, there was a photo of him recently at Disneyland and he didn't look that stoked. So, joke's on him. Maybe he's so rich

he can't appreciate a day at Disneyland. And you know he didn't go when there were massive queues. No. You know he probably paid for a day or went early in the morning or late at night

when there was no one else there and just paid for the park. Oh, imagine being so rich you had all of Disneyland to yourself. But that'd be weird because you wouldn't hear screaming or anyone having fun. Would you be better to?

Because I know this is like, this had my mind blown. Yeah. I've been listening to the Stephen Fry podcast, which is just fascinating. But one of those podcasts you can't like half listen, you've got to be really listening to it.

And he told the story, the Urban Legends story about the guy that invented chess. Oh yeah. And the king basically said, if you can give me something that will keep me entertained and fulfill my desires. I loved a bit of war. So I love tactics. I'm a bit of war, so I love tactics.

I'm a creative type. And this guy basically invented chess. Right. Showed the king, and the king's like, whatever you want, mate, you tell me. Yeah. And he's like, well, on the first square, I want one piece of rice. And then on the second square, I want twice the amount as the square before it. So I'll have two pieces of rice and then four pieces of rice

and then eight pieces of rice. And the king's like, ha, moron, you could have had anything. You're just going to end up with a sack of rice. By the end of it, there would be more, he would have to put more rice on that end chest square than the world has ever had rice, that the world will ever have rice. Right. Then there were more atoms on earth

just because it doubled every time the king was a moron so you know what he did he killed the dude that invented cheese and said that's what happens

when you try to outsmart the king baby that'll teach him yeah so the moral of that lesson is don't be a smartass bingo

good well yeah he cut off yeah by the king yeah even though he can only is... Don't be a smartass. Bingo. Good. Or yeah, he cut off. By the king. Even though he can only move one square at a time. And the queen can just pretty much do whatever she wants. So today's fact of the day is if you earn $7,000 every hour of every day since the year

0000, you still wouldn't be as rich as Jeff Bezos from Amazon. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A study out of Australia has talked about fussy eaters and food compatibility in relationships.

Right. Because you and Mr. Toyboy, you love your food, don't you? You're foodies, big foodies. But, asterisk, we don't eat anything under the sea, which you guys find frustrating, but I've found my equal. Neither of us like it. So it's perfect. It wouldn't be called seafood if it wasn't for equal. Neither of us like it. So it's perfect. It wouldn't be called

seafood if it wasn't for eating. Seafood, eat it. It tastes like fishy. I'm not into it. Didn't you have fake fish the other night? It was so good because it's not as fishy, but still when you're cooking it, it smells like

But why did you eat it? Because it's not fish. So the thing you liked about fake fish was that it was fake. And it wasn't as fishy. But you don't eat fish because of why? I don't like it. She doesn't like the taste. But you were like, I'll try fake fish. Yeah, because it's like saving the planet and it wasn't as fishy.

I was like, I could do this. Okay. I don't think I'd go for like fake scallops or something. That's a bit weird. Yum. Yuck. See, scallops. Yuck.

No, no, no, no. Shrimps on the barbie. Oh my God. Oysters. Oh my God. Oysters with some shallots and some vinegar. Josh Emmett. According to the study, 30% reckon food compatibility is the most important aspect of a romantic relationship.

I get that. Now we've got to the point. Yeah. I love being able to order a bunch of stuff and knowing, shud I or eat it all. But I literally said that to my husband the other day. I was like, there's lots of things I like about you, but I really love that you love coriander.

Because what a deal breaker. Yeah, yeah. Because I love Thai. Yeah. Okay, here's the thing. 38% of Australians are put off dating someone who is a fussy eater. So if you're not compatible, you start dating someone, that's a deal breaker for nearly, I mean, that's 38%, nearly half.

Well, you'd find out pretty quickly too because you'd date, you know, you'd go to restaurants. Yeah. Like what if someone was like, I don't want to go to a Mexican restaurant or a Japanese restaurant. Oh, and I hate it when you order something and you don't know what something is. So they're like, oh, no, I don't know what that is. I don't want to order it. It's like, just order it.

They've put that to you because they know that it's a tasty meal. Just order it and give it a go. Yeah. Or when people order something and they pick things out of their food. Yeah. That drives me crazy. Well, pick things out of their food. Yeah. It drives me crazy. Well, Executive Intern, are you a notoriously fussy eater? You were raised on, as we mentioned before, chicken nuggets.

Yeah. Don't forget the odd baby carrot. The odd baby carrot. A weekly carrot. What about your boyfriend? What's his name? Bun Buns? Yeah.

That's sticking. Now, when you met Bun Buns Was he just like What is this What is going on here Well nah Because we didn't meet When I was like 10 Like I did grow out

Of the nugget thing I do really have A pull short for nuggets You've only just had porridge For the first time I know There's so many foods You haven't had

I know but I'm doing More than nuggets now guys I do tenders Wings Drums Yeah right okay All of the bits of the chicken It wasn't a deal breaker For him that you were Such a fussy eater but I'm doing more than nuggets now, guys. I do tenders, wings, drums. Yeah, right, okay. All of the bits of the chicken. It wasn't a deal breaker for him

that you were such a fussy eater? No, but he's the same. He just can't believe the things that I haven't tried yet. He's always like, how? Like I hadn't had soup before we started going out. Who hasn't had soup?

By the time they're like a teenager. Like, that's weird. Yeah, he's just startled more than anything. What do you eat when you're, like, sick? When you've got a cold and you're feeling bolognese or something? Nuggets. Some cold nuggets. Sogged up.

She makes, like, a nugget tea. She puts the nugget in the water, lets it brew for a little bit. Steep. So I want to know if 38% of people find this a deal breaker, like people who are fussy eaters or don't eat certain types of food. I want to know if anybody listening has ever broken up because of food.

Like maybe you started dating someone or you tried to date someone and it didn't last long because you just couldn't put up with their fussy eating. Or maybe they just had a different eating, like, you know, I guess the whole,

now that vegan and vegetarianism. What happens if you fall in love with a vegan? And you have a penchant for meat like Vaughn does. Then what? Can it work? Yeah. Because, yeah, that whole what are we having for dinner tonight conversation. Separate meals.

Yeah. We're cooking individually. Yeah, and you have to eat at the same time. And surely if they were a vegan on principle terms, they couldn't sit across the table from someone. With meat. Or kiss your mouth. When have you had to end it because of food?

Break up with someone because of food? My partner and I kept a kosher home. Okay. Now that is associated with Judaism, I believe, the kosher. I don't know exactly what constitutes being kosher. I learned recently what halal means. Yes. How what halal meat and everything's prepared, but I'm not sure what constitutes kosher.

I left him and he started sneaking KFC. His preschool son outed him when I drove by one day. He pointed at KFC and said to me, Daddy's place. That narc? Daddy's place. That narc. How dare he? You've got to learn to keep your mouth shut, kid.

My husband of almost 18 years woke up on New Year's Day and announced that he is now vegan. The kids and I did not join him in this movement. However, so far our relationship seems to be holding up. 18 years of marriage, you're like, it seems to be holding up. I guess it's only a month and a half though, so it might be too early to call. I guess we'll see.

I guess we'll see. But that would be hard if you've got to make different meals and then like... He'd be on his own, right? Yeah. If she was and that's just adhering to the social norms or the outdated

social norms that she cooked the meals maybe he cooked the meals yeah but if his job was the meal cooker and he's like

I only cook vegan food from now on you'd be like food's such a social thing totally you go out for dinner with your partner how good is having

a meal with close friends? It's so good. Sharing food and stuff. Rules. But you can still share food that's different. It just becomes an issue when there's the builder split. Yeah, that. Or you go to a place that doesn't have.

Or a restaurant you're going to go to. Yeah. Yeah. I split up with my vegetarian ex after I got sick of all the passive-aggressive preachers about how cruel dairy farmers are. Not the best thing to say to a farmer's daughter with two home kills in the chest freezer. The irony

was after a few too many craft beers, this vegetarian wasn't opposed to a Big Mac. One of them. Robert, you had to end it with someone because of food? Well, basically I knew someone. I was dating someone up in Whangarei. Yep.

And she said that she was going to make it. You were doing what up to them in Whangarei? I was dating someone in Whangarei. I drove all the way from Auckland. Yep. Straight after work. Went up there and she goes, I'll cook you dinner. I was like, okay, sounds good.

Yep. So she started cooking spaghetti bolognese with mince, and I was like, cool. And then she gets out a can of corned beef, and I'm like, what are you doing with that? She goes, well, that's going to go in there because we need to make it expand so we get a little bit more on the plate.

So I had to sit there and try and eat it, and then by the morning, about 5 o'clock in the morning, I just snuck into my car, I got in my car and I drove home and I blocked her and that was it. I was gone. You got the Whangarei out of Whangarei. Oh, my God. You ghosted her.

I got the hell out of Whangarei. So was it spam, like canned corned beef, palm corned beef? Yeah, palm corned beef. Like literally the corned beef that you get from Countdown was the one that's all locked up. What's wrong with... I actually want to try this now. No.

It's too salty. Take over the flavour of the bolognese. Yeah. Well, the next day, mate, it's not a very good sight, eh? Like, honestly. So if she'd just... You had to stop at Walkworth for a shit.

So if she'd just done the spag bowl with the mince, that would have been fine. You might have stayed the whole, it might even be a good relationship now. Exactly, but because she put the corned beef in, yeah. It's all beef, baby. It's all beef. I'd eat it.

I'm with you, Robert. Hey, thanks for your call, mate. Some text messages. I'm a really fussy eater, and when my now husband and I got together, I just never told him how fussy I was. I managed to pick my way through foods I didn't like, and it made me try new stuff.

I didn't like any of it. And then I thought, we've been going on long enough. I don't like any of these foods. And it was a real, he was at a real crossroads. Yeah, right. Because then you've kind of hooked him in. Yeah. But you've technically been lying to him.

He would have known, though, if you were picking your way through foods. You can't hide that. Yeah. You're sitting there picking at your food. He would have been though if you were picking your way through foods. You can't hide that. Yeah. You're sitting there picking at your food. He would have been like, hmm. You know when you're trying to eat something. Oh, no, no, no. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

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