ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 24th

Episode Date: February 23, 2020

What Apps Did You Have To Delete?, Radio Doctor made a comeback, How Executive Intern Anya's mum dealt with her bullySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. How are we feeling? Great. A bit tired today? Yeah. You had a late night last night, Megan. No. No. Why? I don't know. Women love it when they get told they look tired.

It's so great. I don't know. You just it when they get told they look tired. It's so great. I don't know. You just do look tired, but yeah. I'm also very tired. Don't know why. Mercury. Oh, Mercury's in retrograde, of course. That's it.

And the Starlink satellite's in retrograde. Do you know I still haven't seen that? The Starlink satellite? I've seen it twice now. Somebody was losing their mind on the local Facebook page last night. I've got a Starlink tracker. Yeah, I've got that satellite tracker too. Yeah, it tells you what time.

If the visibility is going to be good, like if you should bother. Yeah, right. It was going over this morning when I got out of bed, but I couldn't see it. How do we feel about a giant line of satellites in the sky? Oh, I'm all right with it. Like ruining the... Like ruining the sky. The pristine darkness. Because we've made... Oh, they're tiny lights

that go by pretty quickly. You can only see them for like two minutes and then they're gone. Right. Like, I don't have a problem with it. It's just a little line. Okay. Yeah. Mewm. Right. Little line never hurt anybody. Little line of lights in the sky. Lights in the sky. Thank you for

clarifying. Clarifying. Clarifying that, yes. All right, ZM's $100,000 secret sound, thanks to Save My Bacon, is back. $55,000 is our current jackpot. So all the clues that we've had, all the guesses that have been incorrect, you can find those at ZM Online.

This is the sound. And your next chance is, again this morning, at seven and 8 and throughout the day as well. Storytime's next. The top six coming up. Yeah, the Friends reunion thing's been confirmed and everyone's expecting like an episode or a TV movie.

It's not. Yeah, it's not the case. Nah, it's just an interview. So the top six things you will not see in that Friends reunion. All right, you lot, listen up. It's Storytime. Storytime, I have sourced and found three news headlines. Weird,

quirky news stories. And Vaughan and Megan, you've got to decide which headline you want. Headline one, demolition company, sorry for mistake. Headline two, double McDUI. And headline three, city City Council no party animals. Those are your headlines today. Okay, so a demolition company's accidentally...

Demo'd something. Demo'd someone's house. A DUI. What was the exact year going for the DUI? A double McDUI. Someone's been drink drive. Drink drive? What's the one I'm after here?

Convicted of drink driving while going through a drive-thru? Correct. With big boobies. Double Mick D's. No, it was just two of them. But sure, let's go with that one. Yeah, big boobies. And city council no party animals.

Well, that's the only one you haven't guessed. They banned everybody from partying in their town. They put a blanket ban on parties. Should we delve into this one? Yeah, let's delve into that one. We go now to... After a... Disaster recovery.

We go now to Los Angeles, where people are free to behave like party animals in Los Angeles Up until now Because the city council have approved legislation That prevents people from partying with animals Wild animals like chimpanzees, lions and bears Will no longer be allowed to serve as entertainment At private parties in LA under legislation approved this week.

I feel like that should have been done a long time ago. Yeah, yeah. So people could have lions and tigers and bears, oh my. Like, you know those, just those movie scenes you see? Where someone's got a tiger in a cage or a... Like, horrible. Yeah, I just thought this... It's never been illegal.

What day is this headline from? It feels like you've just stumbled across a years-old story. No, it's from this week. The week just gone, yeah. Then you would say there were places renting out exotic animals for parties. Well, yeah, I'd say so, yeah. Must be, yeah. Poor tigers.

At a council meeting on Tuesday, somebody described that four years ago they saw a giraffe and an elephant being marched up the Hollywood Hills for a party. They kept that quiet, didn't they, for four years? An elephant! His office, the councillor says it's long been a problem.

People are exhibiting exotic animals at lavish parties. Wow. Yeah, they approved the new ordinance. 14 votes to nil. So it was unanimous. There will be exemptions for conservation educational presentations as well as film productions.

So if you were filming a party, you could still have an animal there. Right. Yeah. Or if there were filming A party You could still Have an animal there Right Yeah Or if there were kids there You could You could educate them Yeah well that's probably A way around it

You could just have the kids At your party And just have an educational So there's a couple of loop holes For the rich and famous there Loop holes But otherwise If you go to LA

And you want to party With a wild exotic animal Out of the question No more From now on Go to LA and you want to party with a wild exotic animal, out of the question. No more. From now on. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

A savage story of a family going on holiday. Had been saving for years apparently for this break. Okay. You've got your dad, you've got your mum, you've got your three kids, nine, 11 and 14. So they get to the airport, and they discover at the airport that the 14-year-old, the oldest of their family, the daughter,

has a passport with only two months left on it, far short of the six months required for the international travel they're about to undertake. Amateurs. So they leave her at the airport. And she doesn't get to come on the trip. Right. It's kind of like Home Alone. So the eldest daughter had been overseas before.

Right. So she had a passport. Okay, right. Everybody else needed a passport for this. The mum and dad had been overseas before, but not for a long time. So they got brand new passports along with the two younger kids. However, the oldest daughter didn't have a passport.

So they just left her behind. So he left her behind. Ouch. Wouldn't that... I mean, you're going to lose a lot of money, aren't you? Yeah. Better just to leave her behind. And maybe she can get that sorted and catch up with them later.

Much cheaper to do it that way than everybody stay behind and have to rebook all the flights. Oh my god. See you later. Yeah, just savagely left. I wish we'd leave my brother behind sometimes. That'd be so great.

At 14 though, I would have been terrified being left in an airport. Very busy. Lots of strangers. Does it say what happened? Like, is there a follow-up? No, because it's only just happened. Oh. He also is blaming his ex-wife as the oldest daughter is

his with his ex-wife. Oh, right, okay. And he was of the understanding that she'd taken care of this. Right. But she had not. The younger kids are said to be really enjoying the trip.

Don't rub it in. That's savage as. Yeah. And the daughter who got left behind said she'll need to change schools because she'd been talking about how, like, this holiday she was going off for so long. Oh, no. And then she's obviously not going to have any photos

or anything to prove that she's been on holiday. And people will say she was lying. At 14, were you aware enough to kind of be like, hey, is my passport up to date? No. Megan, I'm barely that switched on now. Yeah. Like, I went to go somewhere and I literally had six and a half months left on the passport. So it's okay.

But it annoys me they do that because they don't give you a passport for 10 years and six months, do they? No. Five years and six months. No, it should expire on the expiry date, not before the expiry date. That would be like buying milk and you say, I've got a week to drink this and you take it home and you pour it out and it's already lumpy.

Because, yeah. Because, oh, you should know best to drink it well before the expiry yeah it should expire on the expire yeah and if your trip is past the expiry date

well then yes sure you can't go yeah if you're overseas when it expires you need to have a new one before you go but you know we're not in charge

so just whatever you know we should be sometimes I think we should be in charge of everything yes we're very sensible I think so too

ZM's Fletch Warner Megan the podcast oh no oh no You know, we should be. Sometimes I think we should be in charge of everything. Yes. We're very sensible. I think so too. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's not walking away from that. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Yep. She's plummeting to the ground and whoa. Oh, dear. Just watching a video there of a man. Is this the guy that quite famously said he was looking for money? Is this the same guy? I think it is, yeah. But then there was rumours that he wasn't actually a flat earther.

He just knew that they had given money because he just wanted to get his rocket off the ground. Well, yeah, no one is a flat earther. Yes. A man tried to launch a rocket just at the weekend. Yeah. He died because his rocket, there was a problem with takeoff. This is his second. So, yeah, he had done this previously.

It is the same guy. The first one resulted in a hard landing. But this one, which I think was being filmed by the Science Channel, which just let, it's got a blue tick, but that doesn't always mean science is actually science Thought-provoking updates, science videos And they're also doing a TV show on the curse of the Bermuda Triangle So science could be being used pretty loosely in this Yeah, they're probably just laughing at him

Yeah Giving him a TV show The Bermuda Triangle was quite a terrifying thought as a child. But what was his idea that he was a flat earther? He wanted to get high enough, yeah, he wanted to get high enough to photograph the earth or see with his own eyes that it was flat. He just didn't trust, like most flat earthers, didn't trust anybody who does get that high with technologies. They're all on the government dime.

He did get quite high. The rocket went quite high. I wonder if just before he was plummeting to his death, he could see the curvature of the earth. Not high enough. Oh, really? No. Like, not as high as that.

It wasn't even as high as a commercial plane. No way. No, no. Oh, right. That's what, when I'm, I think when they go on a commercial plane and you know when you're at the height

during day. Yep. Especially like, I noticed that the most when we flew over Australia. Yeah. It was just because it was land as far as

you could see. You could definitely see a little. A curve. Yeah. But is that just the windows? Is that the windows of the plane?

They are curved. That's the windows of the plane. That's just tricking us. Yeah. Because of course. Because they want you to believe that it's round so plane? They are curved. That's the windows of the plane. That's just tricking us. Yeah. Because, of course, it's flat. Because they want you to believe that it's round, so that's what they do.

And that's why you're not allowed to open the doors up there. Oh, of course. Because if you open the doors, you'd see that it's actually flat because you'd see it with your own eyes, not through the windows. And the plane's flying a straight line. It's not going around a corner. That's true. Well, it can't go around a corner.

Yeah. Because there are no corners. It's flat. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Some new stats out research showing how New Zealanders use the internet and how we compare to the rest of the world. How much of the world do you reckon is online? This was fascinating.

Percentage-wise? Yeah, what percentage of the world is connected on the internet? 80%. Vaughan? Yeah, what percentage of the world is connected on the internet? 80%. Vaughn. Yeah, because you... Yeah. 80%. If it's any more, it's bad that more people have the internet

than clean drinking water. Yeah. The new research shows the number of internet users around the world has grown to 4.54 billion, an increase of 298 million users in one year. 60%? No, 59. So yeah, 60%.

But that still means nearly half the world isn't connected. Yeah. That's nearly half the world isn't connected. What counts as connected? Daily ability to connect? Just being able to connect to the internet, yeah. So New Zealand, by comparison, what do you think the percent of New Zealanders connected to the internet is?

More like 80%. Just everybody? Everybody. Just everyone? 93%. Wow. We have a 93% penetration rate. Is that up there for countries in the world?

We've increased 2.4% on last year. That puts us just behind Northern Europe, which has the world's highest internet rate, 95 of the population regularly online. Central Africa, only 22% of people. Wow. Regularly online on the internet. So New Zealanders, how often do you think we spend connected a day?

How many hours a day? Yeah, how many hours a day? Four hours. Four hours. Four hours, yep. Yeah, four hours. Six. Oh. This puts us in the lower half of the global internet average.

The Philippines tops the charts With 9.45 hours online They have pretty much spent their entire waking day Online Wow So we dedicate 3 hours a day To streaming our favourite films and TV It's bad when you say it like that I mean that counts online

But technically it's just watching a show, isn't it? Yeah. But you're online. We dedicated further one hour 45 visiting our favourite social media sites. On average, seven of those, 7.1 a day. YouTube is our favourite social media site. 88% of us visiting the video streaming site

on a monthly basis. Facebook, a close second with 84. Instagram next. And we're also a smartphone first nation. 46.8% edging out laptops and personal computers. Right. With how New Zealanders are viewing online. Wow.

Does it say what we're? Well, I've got the top 10 websites. Do you want those? 10 Met Service, Wikipedia, Trade Me, 7, Google, Netflix, Herald, Stuff, Facebook, YouTube, and Google is the number one site. Did they purposely leave out adult things? No, that's just what they say. Good on us then.

Good on us. I mean, maybe if you went down to 11 or 12, they'd yeah. Be very interested in how far down Pornhub would be. Maybe that's why they stopped at 10. Yeah, they probably did. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. The Friends reunion was the talk of the town,

if the internet's your town. At the weekend, all the Friends cast being like, it's happening and posting an old photo of old Friends promo photo and everyone's been like, I mean, I like that man. But it is, it's an interview by the looks of it. Rumors are that Ellen DeGeneres, who apparently is a talk show host,

she is going to host this interview, this special and it's not a new episode of the show interviews, unseen bits and pieces and the first time that they've all been on screen together since 2004's finale see I think

a lot of people just thought it would be an episode and they still don't know it's just an interview and it's an hour long, right? Yeah. So you've got to get through all of them. It's to launch HBO Max. Which is their online streaming platform, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their Netflix-y situation. And is it true they're getting like two mil each for this? Yes, two and a half million US dollars is the reports. And also the Gossip Girl reboot will be featured on HBO Max. Oh my God. And the Boondocks, which is a TV show version of the Boondock Saints. The movie.

The movie, right. The classic movie. But it's just an interview. So the top six things you won't see in the Friends reunion. You won't see Fat Monica or Ugly Naked Guy. Mostly because it's 2020 now and you wouldn't get away with it. That's true. Most of it stands the test of time, but those do not.

There's a few things if you Google. There's a few things that don't. Number five. Did someone do a big article? The things that didn't. Yeah, that's not pretty. Top ten things you wouldn't see if they did it now. Number five on the list of the top six things you won't see in the Friends reunion are smelly cat.

Oh. Apparently it won't be happening. Right, okay. Won't be part of the show. They might show an won't be happening. Right, okay. Won't be part of the show. They might show an old clip, a small segment of it. But what you can find is that being played

with Taylor Swift on stage. That's something I stumbled across in my research for the top six. Oh, okay. Taylor Swift and Lisa Kudrow doing a Smelly Cat duet. Didn't Justin Bieber do Smelly Cat in his carpool karaoke?

Did he? Yeah. Just recently. Yeah. Well, I refused to watch after I learned that James Corden wasn't driving. Number four on the list of the top six things you won't see in the Friends reunion, Gunther. They just don't want to have to pay for anybody else. Gunther.

Any tier two characters. Wouldn't it be great if they just cut to like a studio audience and he was just sitting there looking Gunther? Sad. Yeah, looking sad. Or he bought them coffees looking comforter. Yeah. Sad. Yeah, looking sad. Or he bought them coffees but nobody referenced it. Yeah. That'd be good stuff. Number three on the list of the top six things you won't see in the Friends reunion are

ethnic diversity. White, white, white, white, white, white and Ellen DeGeneres. Perhaps the whitest person. Yeah. To be alive. Number two on the list of the top six things you won't see in the Friends reunion. It's another tier two character that won't

be there. Janice's Oh My God. Oh. That's for the best. Pops out of that box that Alan uses to scare people. Alan loves scaring people with that box. The box just comes open and Janice is like, Oh My God.

And number one on the list of the top six things you won't see in the Friends reunion, Marcel the monkey. Because he's still alive. Oh, really? Yeah. Born in 1985, apparently. He's like a year younger than me. Kupotichana monkey.

Right. How long do they live for? Well, I don't know, but he's doing all right for himself. Yeah, wow. Yeah, he's doing alright for himself Yeah wow Yeah he's been The Pirates of the Caribbean Yeah okay A lot of work for monkeys

And Hollywood He's got another gig coming up Apparently as well Yeah okay But that is today's top six Soundkeeper Gary Good morning Good morning, guys.

How was the weekend? Fantastic. It was all built around one meal, and I had that meal about five o'clock yesterday, and it was delicious. What was the meal? Well, I've got to know what the meal is now. Barbecued meats.

Gary kept me informed with photos and videos. Right. Went, you know, drove half an hour out of the city. Yeah. Prepared my body all week, all weekend. Everyone was ready. We dressed up. It was fantastic.

It was a great brisket, guys. Do you ever get... And he ate it in like 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he didn't need to chew. You could just swallow it. Oh, wow.

That's a tender brisket. How did you prepare your body, Gary? Did you drink a lot of water to stretch the stomach, but not to fill oneself? I did, and also picked what times I was going to be eating to make sure that I was at my optimal hunger at 4 o'clock. Peaking. Yep, that's good.

This is so weird. He wouldn't eat the most. Planning for a good small this week. Yeah, I guess so. All right. Secret sound. Jackpot's still $55,000. That is correct.

Playing this morning. Emily, good morning. Jackpot's still $55,000. That is correct. Uh, playing this morning. Emily, good morning. Good morning. All right, so you've had all weekend to, uh, pour over the clues, all the wrong guesses. This is the secret sound. For $55,000, what is it? I think it's a paper towel dispenser.

So you're pressing the button or the lever, the towel comes out and then you're tearing it off the roll. Okay, yeah. Those are the ones in the bathroom? Yeah. We don't, it's more, those ones with the levers, they're American style, those ones, eh? Do we have a lot of those here? Oh, I've seen them here.

Have you seen them here? Okay. Yeah. And then you tear, right, okay. Tear it off. How does that fit with the clothes? Well, I thought maybe you'd have them at your work or like, I don't know, if you have them in the kitchen and yeah. We don't have a lever on the ones at work here. You just pull them out, don't you?

Yeah. Or you use those fancy, what do you call those? The Dysons. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Emily? Yeah. Or you use those fancy, what do you call those? The Dysons. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Emily? Yeah. Mate, that is not the secret sound.

I'm sorry. Okay. Thank you. Sorry, Emily. All right, another chance at eight. It's all thanks to Save My Bacon Making Borrowing Better for Financially Responsible Kiwis. No jackpot?

Oh, here we go. No, we're not starting. It's the start of the week. It's the family. Don't you give Brian Clint one. We're next. Yeah, no, I promise you guys are next. Oh, Megan's so competitive.

They've already had one. Are you still playing, Megan? Have you given up? A little bit. We had tests over the weekend. Being like, is this it? Oh, I don't know. You can't win the money.

Why do you? But I just want to know. I'm not telling you what I tested. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. An Australian, he's an old AFL player, but he works in radio now. He's opened up and admitted about his Uber Eats addiction. He couldn't radio now. He's opened up and admitted about his Uber Eats addiction. He couldn't stop himself. He said that he spent $35,000 on Uber Eats.

Jesus. He was ordering meals up to four times a day over 18 months between 2017 and 2019. 588 orders from 108 different restaurants. Good Lord. And in an effort to lose some of the weight that he acquired, he's had to delete it entirely, delete the app. You'd know some of your Uber drivers by name.

Oh, yeah. You'd get to know all of them. Yeah. And they'd get to know you. That's a big city, Melbourne. There'd be a lot of Uber drivers. Yeah. And they'd get to know you. That's a big city, Melbourne. There'd be a lot of Uber drivers. Yeah. So minimum twice a day, sometimes up to four times a day.

Minimum twice a day? Yep. So you order it to work, then when you get home, and then a snack, and then you might order dessert, and then like dinner. Oh, wow. Yeah, for an ex-athlete, he said it just piled on. Well, yeah, because, I mean, you see the photo, the before and after. Just like, whoa.

Yeah, yeah. He said his wife's still got the app, so they can order, like, a Saturday treat. Oh, right, but he's banned it from his phone. He's sworn off. Okay. There's healthy options. It's not against Uber Eats. Yeah, true.

Or what you're ordering and how much of it you're ordering. Yeah. Probably eating four large meals a day, the majority of which would be takeaways, no good for you regardless of how much exercise you're doing. But I don't have this problem. I live out of an Uber Eats delivery zone. But I can see how it could be. Oh, yeah.

Could be very easy. Because it's easy, isn't it? They just rock right up to your door. Yeah. It's very easy. Because it's easy, isn't it? They just rock right up to your door. Yeah. It's a convenience. Yeah. But then $35,000. You know about it.

It's always confronting when you look at your internet banking and you see how much you spend on food places. You're just like, what? It's a lot. But not on Uber Eats. I'd love to know this morning what app you just decided to delete. Well, how long, have you still got Pokemon Go on your phone? Because you didn't have to.

I've got it back on my phone, but I haven't used it. Right. Nah, because I opened it up, heaps had changed. It was really confusing. Right, okay. And I was like, oh, that's good. Yeah. That's the trouble with deleting the app though.

It's very easy to get back. You know it's just sitting in the cloud. You just search and it's got that little cloud logo. You're just like, I'll download you again. I see you sitting there. The Kardashian game? Oh. You were spending your own money on that.

I know. That's one of the only apps I've ever spent my own money on. And you deleted that? Yeah, I had to in the end. Yeah, mine are all games. Yeah. Idle Miner was another one I was playing, that mining game I was playing. Oh yeah, I just had to delete that. You'd play that during the show. Yeah, wow. We'd be talking

to you and you'd look up and that iron ore wasn't going to mine itself. Well, literally it would but you know, I had to upgrade my iron mine to get more out of all the games to play and to be addicted to. I need to get back into that mine. But no, just, what about

you? You delete any apps? What about any of the hookup apps? Oh yeah, they always come and go don't they? Do they? I've never heard of you deleting them. Yeah, there's none of them. Put them in a folder on your second page. There's none on my phone at the moment. Isn't there? Why not? I don't know, there's none of them. Put them in a folder on your second page. There's none on my phone at the moment, yeah. Isn't there?

Why not? Why not? I don't know. There just isn't. Anyway. Yeah, so. Alright, let's take some calls. Yeah. Hey, thanks for opening up and encouraging the listeners to do so as well. That was, um, that's how this works. That's pretty handy. I thought you two had done it

No because I don't get Addicted to games You know me I don't We weren't talking about games For you this is a game It is a game actually The way you play the

Play the dating scene It is a game You know you don't get points It's not viruses Do you not? Do you not? I thought you got a trophy Nah

Oh okay Alright 0800 DALS at M You can text 9696 For the sake of course What app did you have to delete? Did you have to delete? Maybe you were super addicted. Maybe it was gaming or shopping.

Because do you use any of the shopping apps? Yeah, but I'm not deleting those. I mean, those are the ones you should be. What's the shopping apps? The Iconic has an app. ASOS has an app. They all wear that. Oh, okay.

Right, now that makes sense. All right, you're just like one app called shopping. You're just like, what do I want? Jacinda, what did you have to delete off your phone? Oh, I had to delete TikTok, man. Oh, yeah. I mean, you're not spending any money, though, are you, watching TikTok? No, but it's so addictive.

There's so much time that you put into it for no reason at all. And time is money. Yes, especially when it's like 10, 20 hours. 10, 20? How bad was it getting, 20 hours? Yeah, like a week. Wow. Okay.

But, like, you get down the rabbit hole and then you look at the time and you're like, whoops-a-daisies, two hours. Yeah, because going to bed, I'll just watch, like, five minutes worth of videos, two hours later. Yeah, right. Okay. So that's gone. And do you think you'll crawl back into that TikTok?

Oh, probably. Yeah, right. My partner's into it now, so. Oh, okay. Oh, no. It's not that good. All right. Somebody else messaged in saying TikTok gets them.

It's when they go to bed. A five-minute squiz. Yeah. We'll turn it into a three-hour marathon. Yeah. And before you know it, it's 1 a.m. You a five minute squiz. Yeah. We'll turn it into a three hour marathon. Yeah, and before you know it, it's 1am, you're like, I've got to get up soon. Amy, what did you have to delete from your phone? What app? Candy Crush.

Oh yeah, okay. I had my time addicted to that. I still see people playing this on planes and stuff. All the time. I would dream about it about my next move, so that was the time? I would dream about it, about my next move, so that was the time to delete it. Would you?

Because I never played Candy Crush, but every so many hours you would get more energy to use on moves, right? Yeah. Yes. So would you wake up in the middle of the night knowing you'd have a little bit of energy to use and you could play it?

No, probably about 5.30 in the morning I'd wake up and play it before I could get up and get ready for work. Yeah, I used to do that too because you had all your energy saved. Yeah, to about 5.30 in the morning I'd wake up and play it before I have to get up and get ready for work. Yeah, I used to do that too because you had all your energy saved. Yeah, to build up. And then it would send you a notification being like, bleh, your energy's full. Yeah, yeah. Can you spend your money on that?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Did you spend any money, Amy? No. Okay, right. That's good, though. Okay. One positive to come out of this.

Totally. Amy, thanks for your call. I deleted my fitness pal. Oh, okay. I got sick of having to confess my dietary indiscretions. And then they're seeing your notifications like you haven't logged, you're blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

Hey. Step on the scales. Step on the scales. Ouch. Step on the scales. Fool. I deleted the PUBG mobile app. I used to play that eight hours a day.

That's like Fortnite and multiplayer situation. used to play that 8 hours a day That's like Fortnite A multiplayer situation Used to play that all the time Sharesies It's an investment app Where you invest your own money In shares and stuff

But it's just so much fun It feels like a game And not real money So you'd lose money You'd be like Oh well I'll just put some more in But it seems like

One of those things That requires a bit of research And a Yeah A slow bit of play. But I do want to see what it does. So I'm going to have to resist the temptation to do that. Somebody else said the Idol Miner game that I used to play, they spent over $250 of their own money on that.

No. Yeah. And what have you got to show for that at the end of it? Nothing. Fake iron ore. Fake iron ore. Fake iron ore. Some jewels. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier.

As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at

nzherald.co.nz and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. Over 80% in fact, 84% of parents

Admit that they Struggle with doing their kids homework I wouldn't be able to do Anything from school now Like I can't wait till you have little Lorenz Your only child We like google it sweetheart

That's it right Have your kids Wouldn't they get homework would they Yeah they get some homework But it's like reading and stuff We like Google it, sweetheart. You're all right. That's it, right? Yeah. Have your kids, wouldn't they get homework, would they? Yeah, they get some homework, but it's like reading and stuff. Oh, yeah. If I couldn't do an eight-year-old and a five-year-old at home,

I'd be in big trouble, wouldn't I? I don't really back myself. I, there was what's the verb in the sentence, and I was like, I'm just going to double check. Verb is a doing word? Yeah, it's a doing word.

What's an adjective? Describing. Describing word. Yeah. Which I'm fine with. And nouns and naming. Nouns and naming, yeah. Naming, okay.

And then you've got active verbs, like running. Yeah, pronouns. Adlib. Pronouns. That's the... Has her, them, they. Yep, yep, yep.

Yeah. Okay. Adverbs. Don't know what that one is. No, I'm, them, they. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah. Okay. Adverbs. Don't know what that one is. No, I'm stuck on adverbs. We were doing so well. We were doing so well. Yeah.

Adverbs are a word or phrase that modifies or qualifies an adjective. But see, you can Google all of this. And like, now with the internet and Google, you can Google anything. So why do they have to learn anything? Well, parents... Because they have to know what to Google. They definitely say that when they're in school too. So parents said they were most clued up on historical

figures, then spelling and then grammar close behind that. Okay. I would have said spelling and grammar would be my best, not historical figures. Too many details. But there is a list of the 10 toughest homework questions that they had to find without the help of technology.

Okay, go. Do you want to run through? Yeah, let's go. Let's do some of these. Without the help of technology? No, no, you can't. What do we invent all this stuff for? What is Pythagoras?

You got this. It's the triangle thing. It's working out the length of the triangle. The distance between the triangle. Yeah working out the length of the triangle. The distance between the triangle. Yeah. The long side of the triangle. It's got to be a right angle triangle. I also don't have the...

Oh, no, there's answers here. A maths formula used to calculate the length of the third side of the triangle. That's what we said. Okay, yeah, yeah. Try and be more specific in your answers. Three, four, five. Your classic Pythagoras. What's an isosceles triangle?

An isosceles triangle. It's an isosceles triangle, isn't it? It's a triangle with equals. It's a wonky triangle. It has two equal sides, right? Is it a wonky triangle? It is a wonky triangle because the other one's an equilateral triangle. There you go. I'm going to put yes for that.

No, you have to say two equal sides. And the other one's different. Yeah, but it's wonky. You can't mark me down for that. Technically, I'm right. It's wonky. I can't mark me down for that. Technically, I'm right. It's wonky. I told you you had to be more specific in your next answer. Wow.

Okay, moving on from triangles. Was that right? To sides of equal length. Yeah. I'm going that right. Is Uranus still a planet? Yes. Because they're trying to trick you there.

They're trying to trick you. It wasn't, and then it was. No, no, no, no. You're thinking of Pluto. Pluto, right. They're trying to trick you. It's a trick question. Yes. Because they're trying to trick you there. They're trying to trick you. It wasn't, and then it was. No, no, no, no. You're thinking of Pluto. Pluto, right. They're trying to trick you. It's a trick question. Yes.

There are eight planets in the solar system. They don't include Pluto. Okay. What is this? What is this? What? Subjunctive tense. I've never.

What is subjunctive text? Tense. Tense. To be fair, Your Honour, I've never heard that before in my life. I never learned that in school, Miss. I do not know. Tense is like a time, like a post tense or a... Hmm?

Nah. What's the answer? What is it? The sub... Is a verb, form or mood used to express things that could or should happen. Okay. What do I know? It'll rain tomorrow.

Sure. Should rain tomorrow. Sure. Okay. What's the next one? Next one is, what is the difference between there and there? Oh, easy. T-H-E-R-E and E-I-R.

One's possessive and one's like a position. Yeah, correct. That's the only one we're all going to get right. What is the difference between mitosis and meiosis? Cells. Division of cells. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Is it one to do with sex cells?

I don't know that one. And that's meiosis, because I remember meiosis. And the other is just general body cells. Good, no wonder parents are having trouble with these homework questions. Yeah. Still, we could have trouble with these homework questions. Yeah. But still, we could have Googled all of this. Yeah. Just not tell anyone.

The kids are like, I've got a hard question. You're like, what is it? I'm just going to go do a poo. I'll be back. And then you go and you use that time to research. You don't even have to poo. Up to you. I mean, you could if you needed to.

100%. Great time to do it. What are the noble gases? The helium, argon, those ones. The light ones. The periodic table. Yeah, on the periodic table, isn't it? The ones on this side.

Yeah. And how many countries fought in World War I? All of them. Every single one of them. All of them. Every goddamn one of them. That's why it's World War I. Otherwise it would have been called the Thirty Country War. Thirty-two countries.

Okay, Thirty-two Country War. Close, you were close. Partial World War I. Welcome to the Fleet Warner Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafe, for great barista-made coffee on the go. All we hear is Radio Doctor, Radio Doctor, Radio Doctor. Great barista made coffee on the go. Yes, the return of Radio Doctor. A segment that we used to do quite a lot where you'd ring us up if you had a medical problem and we would use the people.

Medical professionals' favourite segment of the show. Yes. Medical professionals Favourite Segment of the show Yes They loved hearing people Ignoring what sounded like Quite dangerous Yeah Well Situations that they were in Kiwis

Famous for Not going to the doctor Because it costs too much money Costs money And you know So you just suffer With a lump or whatever All of our

Advice would always end with You better go to a doctor You better go to a doctor But Behind the scenes today Megan And I commented when the show started, I said, do you look something off today about you? And I was right. You said, ah.

I don't feel well, but the biggest thing that I'm led to believe that there's something wrong is I've got a lump on my face. Or like I've got a swollen face. A bit of a swollen face. On one side more than the other. Yeah. And so down one side of my face. Shut up, Fletch.

Shut up. I keep putting my hand over it. Because I've got like to the left of my chin. Oh, yeah. It's like real puffy on that side, isn't it? Yeah. And so I've actually had a bit of a sore like jaw or face or something and then now it's puffed up and it's been there for a couple of days

and now I've got like a sore face. A couple of days? Just from Saturday. What's today? Monday. Monday. Yeah, right. That's a couple of days.

So a puffy face, a sore jaw. And a sore neck down to my shoulder. On one side. I'm dying. Do you have mumps? Is that mumps? I don't know. Have you had mumps?

I've had mumps. And I had MMR. I'm vaccinated. Please. Thank you. Can you get mumps again, though, if you've had it? Nah, mumps is a one-time deal, right? You don't want to get any of these as an adult.

Your mumps, your chicken pox. Well, you had chicken pox, didn't I? Chicken pox is worse as an adult, isn't it? You can die. You don't need to get mumps and stuff these days if you're vaccinated. Very rare case. Extremely rare. Right. So this is what Radio Doctor is about. We need to diagnose

Megan. No hit to the face. I is about. We need to diagnose Megan. No hit to the face. I haven't had a blow to the face. You didn't get one at softball practice? No. Haven't had a softball to the face. Coronavirus symptoms. I've got to imagine. No.

Don't be silly. What about, like, can't your glands get blocked up? But do you have a gland on your chin? At the front of your face. I don't know. There might be something down here. Can you stop laughing at my face? I've not laughed once.

No, you've been really good. Because it's disgusting. I didn't even notice. I was very tired upon arriving to work, but when Fletch was like, you look terrible. What's wrong with your face? That was what drew my attention to your woe, your medical woe. Okay, well, we need to diagnose this.

I think you've really got to go to a doctor after the show today. Yeah, maybe I will. Oh, you can even hear it there. You could hear it. Because it hurts when I talk, if I'm honest. Oh, shh. Okay, well, maybe you've been in this situation where you've got a swollen face

and on one side of the face, a sore jaw. What's wrong with Megan? Radio doctor, 0800 dials it in. Don't tell me if it's something serious. 9696. No, we need all the options on the table. It's best you hear it.

See, I tell you, there is one coming in on the text machine. It's three people have said this. Red hot. The doctors are ready to see the patient. Yes, Dr. Teresa, good morning. Good morning. Now, what do you think's wrong with Megan? It could be the mumps.

But you've had the mumps, Megan. I've been vaccinated, and I had the mumps, and apparently you can't get it twice. No, did I? No, I had it twice. Oh, God. Oh, you've had the mumps twice. Were you vaccinated?

I was fully vaccinated. Oh, no. How bad were the mumps? How old were you when you had the mumps the second time? Fifteen. Fifteen, okay. And basically what it could be is that you had a mild dose or only had it on one cheek when you were younger.

Oh. And so you get it one side quite bad when you're older. Okay. Yeah, because I've only got one side of my faces. Yeah. Are we putting a photo of this online? No, we are not. Oh, we're not allowed, Teresa.

Okay. No, no, no. Because it wouldn't be very nice because I remember how bad it was when I was younger and it was awful to get it twice. Yeah. I mean, I'm 15 too,

so I'll probably have it. Plus 15. 15 is not a good age to lie about. People will be like, well, why isn't she in school? Dr. Kelsey, you're saying maybe it could be a dental abscess. Yes, we often get people come in with those types of symptoms

and often they don't actually feel anything in their tooth. They sometimes have been to a doctor and have been sent to us for x-rays. And it just can be because it's low-lying, like right down in the bone area, that it just can send shoot the pain elsewhere so it can go down the neck

or if it's a upper one it often goes you know behind their eyes and stuff they get pain up there so it just depends

that sounds like and when's the last time you went to the dentist Megan? because remember I boasted about I went like a year ago and I haven't been

for like 10 years and they said there was absolutely nothing wrong with my teeth. But an abscess could pop up. Yeah. I'm going to catch me for skiding about my awesome teeth.

It will. Thank you, Kelsey. Melissa, Dr. Melissa, what do you think could be wrong? I've had something really similar in the past on the side of my chin as well and it caused pain down my neck. It was an ingrown, infected pimple. But you don't look like you've got a...

No, but it's ingrown. There is no external sign of it. It's kind of like a... It's like, you know how you get blind pimples sometimes? Yeah. And you can't see them, you can just feel them. But sometimes they get infected, so they puff up really big

and the infection can cause, like like radiating pain as well. So you know how when you get an infection in your arm, it travels? Just squeeze your face. What's wrong? No. No. Dr. Melissa said no.

I know because that's so we can have a big YouTube hit on our hands like Dr. Pimple Popper. Yeah, just don't put the rest of my face in it. Pardon me? The thing with the skin growing, if you squeeze it and you pop it internally... Oh. How did they get rid of your ingrown blackhead thing?

Antibiotics. Oh, okay. All right. Okay, thank you, Dr. Melissa. Brilliant. Let's go to Kylie. What do you think's wrong with Megan? She might have TMJ disorder. Oh, jeez. Okay, that doesn't sound... No, you said an acronym now. That's go to Kylie. What do you think's wrong with Megan? She might have TMJ disorder.

Oh, jeez. Okay, that doesn't sound... You said an acronym now. That's never good. Disorder? It's in your jaw. Is your jaw clicking, Megan? Nah, because I've just Googled and it's got a circle around the top, but this is at the bottom

right by the chin. Yeah, I've had it before and it shoots pain all the way down your chin. It is so much pain. And you have to go see a specialist as well. Did it cause swelling down at the bottom of the chin? Yeah, your whole face swells up. Right, okay. Okay, all right.

Yeah, my whole face is swelling up too, like my whole face. Yeah. Briar, what do you think, okay. Okay, alright. My whole face has swollen up too, like my whole face. Yeah. Briar, what do you think, Dr. Briar? Oh gosh, I'm no doctor, you know, guys, but... I'm sorry, right now you are. I was going to say a spider bite. I've been bitten in my sleep when

I was about 16 years old on my arm. I didn't wake or feel anything, but it wasn't until the morning that my arm was so swollen and sore and you could see like redness down my arm and it ended up being diagnosed as a white tail spider mole. We do live in West Auckland

and it's got a lot of prolific You don't have anywhere that looks like you've been bitten on your face. No, you don't. It doesn't look like, well, you don't have to, though. It can just swell. I would die if I'd been bitten by a spider. Like, I, arachnophobia. When you put on makeup this morning, were there any tiny?

I've looked to see if there's any kind of, like, pimple or bite or anything. There's not. But then you said you can't see it, though, right? What if it crawled inside your mouth? Sometimes you can't see it. It might build up over a couple of days. I think you're see it though, right? What if it crawled inside your mouth? Sometimes you can't see it. It might build up over a couple of days. I think you're still going to have to... What if it laid into my chest?

What if it crawled inside her mouth and it squeezed down between her gum and it was like... The perfect place to bite. It hatches out babies out my chest. What if it's still in your mouth? What if it crawled back into your throat and went up into your nasal cavity and it's sitting there just meaning... Or it's still in your mouth? What if it crawled back into your throat and went up into your nasal cavity

and it's sitting there just waiting? Or it's in your ear. I'll bide my time to raise my baby. And that's why Megan's going home to burn her house down tonight. It's not her house she should burn down. Well, got to get rid of the spiders though. Bri, thanks you call.

Glangela fever. I've had that before. Somebody said they had a sore neck and the lymph nodes under their jaw were extremely swollen when they had glandular fever. What about in your face, though? And you are busy. I've said you're too damn busy. Yeah, too damn busy.

I've had that where you get swollen glands in your neck, but why is it in your face? Why is my face swollen? Dental abscess. Somebody said dental abscess. Hundy. I hope it's none of the above. Well, all the bets are in. We'll let you know after Megan goes to an actual doctor.

Shall I just go on Insta Live at the doctor's? No, you don't want Insta Live results. Because that could be really bad and then everyone knows. Yeah. You don't want to do that. Yeah. Well, when I die, you're going to know it was bad anyway. Yeah.

All right, well, we'll keep you updated if it's nothing bad. If it is something bad, we'll pretend this never happened and Megan can just live in agony with some kind of thing. Disorder. It's all thanks to Save My Bacon, making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Soundkeeper Gary is the only person

that knows the secret sound. Are you the only person or does Ross Boss know? I mean, Ross Boss has an inkling, has an idea. Right, okay. But really, no, it's just me. What happens if something happens to you?

Did you not see I put my mum in the costume last week? So I'll put it in my will. This was the sounds mum finished my job. Oh, my God. It's very grim to think about, isn't it? Well, please update your will today. And that wouldn't be the, just for the record,

that wouldn't be the first thing that I would think about if something happened to you. What happens to the sound? Yeah, they would be sick and I'd be like, oh, my God, Gary. What happens to his e-bike? Then what happens to the secret sound? Yeah. Okay. I'm so glad that we don't know what the secret sound

is because we've been getting asked a lot about this. It's a lot of money. I even got sat in someone's car and was like, listen to this and I won't divulge what it was because they don't want me to. Yeah. But I was like, oh, yeah, I mean, it doesn't sound like it, but sure.

They made you listen. They made the sound. All right. Well, Adam, good morning. G'day. How's it going? Good, mate. You've got through and you now have a chance to guess the secret sound for $55,000.

This is the sound. That money is yours if you can tell us correctly what that is. Awesome. Well, I think old Gary sounds like a bit of someone that'll eat celery. So I reckon Gary's going to take a bite of some celery, eh? Okay. I can't stand it. Celery is famously used in the folly arts in movies.

It sounds like heaps of different things. Yeah. Yeah, because that last bit definitely could be like you ripping of some celery, couldn't it, or biting into it. Yeah, definitely. So what is that first part of the sound? Because if you break the sound into three. Maybe he opens the packet of celery,

takes a breath in and then indulges in some celery. He does that very quickly, Adam. That's a very quick open. Adam, is this still about the money for you

or is it just about trying to guess the sound? Oh, well, I'd be stoked to get the money but how great would it be if you could tell your mates that you're one following on the radio to get the money but far out how great would it be if you could tell your mates that you're one

following on the radio So the money's secondary so you could just refuse to take it as sort of like to really back up the standpoint

that you've said you've got True I could do that But you won't Nah but I definitely won't It's $55,000.

It's a lot of money, Adam. It sure is. And Adam, that money is not yours. Savage. Savage from Gary. Adam, back to the drawing board. Yep. Sorry, Matt.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I really wanted you to win that, Adam, so you could tell people that you won the secret sound. But you didn't take the money. Yeah, Matt. Yeah. I'm sorry. I really wanted you to win that, Adam, so you could tell people that you won the secret sound. But you didn't take the money. Yeah, me too. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Bullying's been in the spotlight again over the past week

after the video out of Australia emerged of a young fella, Caden. Caden? Being bullied? Yes. Good to see people coming out and support. He got to run a ball out at the NRL game. He's, I think he's,

someone's shouted him a trip to Disneyland. And again, just reiterating that, you know, you can't let bullies win and bullying certainly isn't great and there's, it goes, it goes on, doesn't it? It's not just there that he, when he got home was when it really hit him. That was a hard watch, that video.

So he was crying after school and the mum put up the video and she's just like, look, look what you've done to my kid. Yeah. And he was like saying, I just want to kill myself. It was hard to watch. From a nine-year-old. And then over the weekend, did you see the conspiracy theory stuff? That he was an 18-year-old actor.

He has dwarfism, doesn't he? And yeah, people were saying, oh, he's an actor. And so they had to come out and say, look, he's actually nine. Here's all the proof that he's nine. Yeah, he's not an actor. And so then he ends up getting bullied again by the internet over the weekend. It's the world we live in. What's wrong with people?

Someone felt the need to start that wrong. Yeah, like a fake account just started up and just for a laugh, they were like, I'm going to do this just to see if I can get some attention. Yeah, yeah, I guess that was the... And heard them all again in the process. The idea behind it. But we were talking about bullying and our experiences with bullying and our executive intern, Anya, shared a rather cute story.

Well, it wasn't cute because she was being bullied, but how your mum dealt with it. Yeah, so this was an intermediate in year eight and we had a relief student teacher. Yeah. And she was really shy and everyone in our class

started being really mean to her and I was like the class leader. So I called a meeting and was like, guys, we all need to start being nice to her. Aww. And then called out some people and I was like, you pull your socks up.

I've had enough of you. I can imagine you actually saying that exact thing. This is what she says to us. She says it after the show every day. You pull your socks up tomorrow. I'm going to go and have another day like tomorrow. Yeah. So and then one of the girls that I said needed to pull her socks up then took to the local walkway next

to the school and wrote Anna Henvest sucks on it. So a bit of intermediate defamation. She was literally posting on a wall. I know. It was horrible.

Not very creative. So somebody pixed me a photo of it. Pixed it was horrible. Wow. Not very creative. Yeah, so somebody pixed me a photo of it. Pixed it? Yeah. Wow, okay. On my pink flip phone. Yeah. And I was absolutely devastated.

What a tarnish to my reputation. You were just trying to save this relief teacher some anguish. Did you consider getting a lawyer and proceeding with defamation? It crossed my mind. Now, how did you know it was her? Handwriting analysis? Handwriting analysis? Handwriting analysis, and then once it had been raised in the class meeting,

the next class meeting, somebody said they saw her write it. How did she, was it spray paint, vivid? It was vivid. Vivid. On a wall, what kind of wall was it? Like a wooden fence. She'd done block letters.

Vivid on a wooden fence. That vivid would have been ruined at the end of that. Unless the wooden fence had had many layers of paint. Oh, yeah, true. And it caused a seal of sorts. Okay. So very upset about this. Yep.

Came home crying to mum. And mum said, leave it with me. The next day while I was at school, she got on her big dark sunglasses and her leather jacket nipped to Rosene and got a wee test pot and then went to the fence and she painted over the fence

Oh that is the cutest thing ever In broad daylight She waited for the path to be empty and then just had a little fixer up job Isn't that the most cutest thing ever? Leave this with me, your mum says, as she starts getting dressed like the mafia.

That is so cute. Did she match the test pot with the fence or did she just go rogue colour? I was too emotional to go and check the job she did. Have you ever been down that walkway since? Nope, still scarred. Oh, okay. What school was this? Murrays Bay Intermediate. Murrays Bay Intermediate. job she did. Have you ever been down that walkway since? Nope, still scarred. What school was this?

Murrays Bay Intermediate. So that walkway's still there. I wonder if we sand it back a bit, whether that's still there under the paint. What if it's worn through? I know, stained through. Oh God. Wow, but she dealt with it. But she also dealt with it without hurting another kid.

Hot play from her. Yeah, because it would have been easy just to find that kid and give them a mouthful, eh? A mouthful? A mouthful. An earful. Or some soap. A mouthful of soap.

Yeah. I'm going to give you an earful and then I'm going to give you a mouthful of soap. No, but it would be easy just to find that kid and just blow up at them, eh? But then that's probably not a good thing either. Then you're just... Blowing up at a kid. And then their parents will be like, why'd you yell at my kid? Yeah, and then the bullying cycle continues.

For sure. But then also, you'd want to as a parent, I'd imagine. Yeah, because what would you do if someone came around and said... I'd ruin their lives. I've got no idea how much free time I've got. Like, I'm out of here by 10 o'clock in the morning. Yeah. That's like...

I could probably get lunch on the go. Yeah. Like, pick something up, mid-life ruining. Yeah, right. And then be home for dinner at six. I've got eight hours, baby. Eight hours a day to ruin someone's life. It'd be my full-time job.

I could imagine you making a booby trap so that they ended up in a pool of mud or something. Yes, booby traps. That's a great idea. I was just thinking a haunting of sorts. Oh, right. Every morning on the way to work, I go past the house,

I knock on the bedroom window, I've got a clown mask on. Oh, my God. Yeah, that sort of stuff. I've got time to burn. Yeah. Don't mess with my children. That was a creepy laugh, too.

That would be the laugh I'd do with the clown mask on. Wow. Wake up, Johnny. It's almost school time. And then run off down the driveway. I think Johnny wouldn't be going to school. I think you'd probably be successful there. You'd win.

Right. Well, as soon as my daughters get a written apology, I'll stop the clowning. Well, thankfully for Johnny, you've got a job while he's getting ready for school. No, I'm going early in the morning. Oh, I'm waking him up on the way to work. Like, I'm waking him up.

So then he wakes his parents up. Everybody's tired and cranky. The household starts falling apart. Mum and Dad are arguing because they're tired. Dad thinks Johnny's making up the clown. Mum's convinced it's real. They fight. They get a divorce.

Johnny becomes a child of a broken home. And then Mum and Dad are competing for who loves him more. He starts getting whatever he wants. At the age of 16, he falls into an unhealthy drug habit. And then before we know it, he's off the rails. He's in prison and all because he should never have said anything mean

to either of my daughters. I mean, that sounds fair, Vaughan. It certainly does sound fair. Hey, he started it. He's also eight. Don't throw the first punch. throw the last. Wow.

Wow, yeah. Okay. Do we need to put a GPS on your car or something? No, but just don't look in the boot for the clown bag. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. If you were listening to the show on Friday, as an insight to how exciting our lives were and continue to be,

Fletch and Megan were going shopping, and boy, everyone was pretty excited about it. Fletch was just... Fletch needs three Coachella outfits. But it was more the fact that Megan and I haven't had one-on-one hangout time, and I think my Facebook memory was seven or eight years. How long have you been with Mr. Toyboy for? When did you abandon us all?

Like eight years. Eight years ago. Remember when Megan was fun hon? Yeah, yeah, when her personal life was falling apart and her marriage was ending. She loved to drink. Fun hon love. Sure did.

Wow. It wasn't really a great time for her, but you got unheralded access. And she drove you around to like beaches and stuff. And we'd hang out all the time, go to beaches and go shopping. Blow the money on anything. Great time. Any excuse for you not to be home in that marriage that you had. This is really confronting.

I feel exposed. Friday was like Megan won-on-one. It was like the old days. Yeah. We went to the mall. Don't say it like we... I got a boyfriend. I was busy. That's fine.

That's fine. I don't have a problem with that. But it was really weird because after it, I was like, that was weird. That was like the old days. Because we don't really hang out one on one. It's either we're all together or we're at work or, yeah, it was just bizarre. I mean, you're a little bit

of a punish, so everyone tries to hang out in groups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For these buffers. Obviously, I'm the problem. Yeah. You walk really fast. I walk really fast. I had to wear flat shoes because I knew we'd be like, gumming it. Although Megan carried all the shopping

I offered, all the bags. She said, I want to carry it all because then it looks like I've bought lots of stuff. I was like, you're so weird, but okay. Oh, okay. Like feeding the addiction without having to spend the money. Yeah. Okay, yeah, I get that. I'm feeling it. You went crazy. What'd you buy? Just a lot. Megan

maybe bought lots of colours. Which is unusual for you. Not only that, we bought colourful prints. We brought colourful things. There's like a big one. There's like blue, pink and palm tree shorts. Oh yeah, there's some. Hold up.

Stop right now. It was real spirit. Megan pressured me. I don't know if I even like this stuff. What are you going to pair that with? Oh, look, it's all paired, Vaughn. It's all paired. There's the other thing.

When you go shopping with guys and it's like, I swear, every guy is the same. The guy was laughing at me at David Jones. Because I was like, I just kept hiding in the locker room. The locker room. The locker room. The changing room. Why were you hiding in there? Because I was

trying stuff on and I was like I don't know. So you would make Megan come to you rather than walk out and give everybody a parade.

I had to walk out and get different sizes and stuff. Right, right. Because he didn't want to. But Megan loves it. Different size and

blue, pink and purple flamingo shorts. It was like I was you were so addicted to shopping. It was like I was, you were so addicted to shopping. It was like I was doing the drugs and you were watching me do them. And I loved it. And she was still loving it. It was bizarre.

It was so weird. Like I, when I go shopping, I'm in and out. I don't like to dilly dally. Yeah, right. I like to peruse. Yeah, you're all over it. Yeah, but Fletch, every time I grab something, he's like, what am I going to wear this with?

Every guy needs to buy the outfit when you're out. You can't buy one piece. Like, girls will buy it and be like, okay, I'll figure it out when I get home. Or I'll buy something else to go with it. But guys need a whole outfit. There. And then what shoes will go with this?

Everything has to be, like, planned out before you leave the store. But isn't that how you think? But then are you buying things that you're only ever has to be planned out before you leave the store. You think? But then are you buying things that you're only ever going to be able to wear with the shorts? See, that's no good for me. I need the most basic of shorts and the most basic of the tops. It's like a Rubik's Cube, baby.

It can go with anybody. You can grab anything in the morning and it'll match. Literally, I could walk in with my eyes shut. I got my undies in a basket and my socks in a basket and my t-shirts in a basket and I just go, one from each. I'm good to go. I couldn't be like, I have to wear that with that because that would be in the wash.

Yeah. And this would be ready to go for round two. We need to take Megan shopping. We'd be proud. We didn't buy any black. No black, just lots of colours. Unbelievable. I don't like the sound of it at all.

We could get you some palm tree shorts. No, I don't want palm tree shorts. I don't want shorts with any patterns on them. Nothing. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. It's time for Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is about a termite nation found within Brazil

that is as big as Great Britain and could be up to 4,000 years old. A termite nation? Termites, yeah, termites. As in a city of termites? The Brazilian termites, the nation of termites, which are no bigger than a centimetre, they have moved the equivalent of 4,000 pyramids of the Great Pyramids of Giza in Egypt. So you think about those pyramids and how much stone and everything is involved in them.

I've never seen them in person, but everybody says they're much larger than they thought they were going to be. I thought people say they're a lot smaller. Yeah, I thought they said smaller. I think you're getting that mixed up. People say, oh, they're a lot smaller than I thought they'd be. The,000 of them. I thought people said they're a lot smaller. Yeah, I thought they said smaller. I think you're getting that mixed up. People say, oh, they're a lot smaller

than I thought they'd be. The pyramids. Yeah. How big are people expecting them to be? I don't know, but people aren't expecting them to be sky city tall,

are they? Like, sky tower. I don't know, but everyone that's been said, oh, they're a lot smaller. Well, no, but like, tall, like big pyramids. Is it because half of them

are under the sand now? Are they? Well, I don't know. Half of the pyramids are under the sand? They sweep the sand away. Or they just find the rising tide. You want to take it from the base, it looks bigger. Under the sand.

I'll message my friend James. He's been. I'll say, were they smaller or bigger than you'd imagined? Okay. Were the pyramids... We're all waiting to hear. They go in and out. In and out of the sand.

Or smaller. Carry on Okay Well So 4,000 of them There's a lot of stone involved Regardless if they were big or small Than you thought And this termite nation

With some 200 million termite mounds Are all linked underground Oh okay So they have mapped them And they said Oh yeah So all of these termite mounds That we've found It turns out They're all linked underground. Oh, okay. So they have mapped them and they said, oh yeah, so all of these termite mounds that we've found, it turns out they're all linked underneath and they did a satellite imagery and compared it to the Isle of Great Britain and it's bigger than Great Britain.

Wow. Then you get some cameras under there. Some little tiny cameras. Like with lights on them. No, you'd never get a light and a camera into a small tunnel. You wouldn't even get a GoPro in there. True. You'd strap a GoPro to your

termite, it would get to the door and be like, no, I can't fit it. Then you'd waste all that time making a GoPro harness for a termite. Yeah, so they said it's apparently the greatest known example of an ecosystem engineered by a single species. Huh. Yeah, as it's apparently the greatest known example of an ecosystem engineered by a single species. Huh.

Yeah, as it's all linked and everything and larger than Great Britain. So today's fact of the day is that termites have been living in Brazil, making this massive termite nation for about 4,000 years. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. One quarter of British people apparently make social plans with absolutely no intention of ever attending said social plans. Hey. It me.

Yeah, I'm guilty of that. Yeah, no, I'm, yeah, totally, I'm coming. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And then on the day be like, meow. Yeah, because on the day you just don't feel like it. On the day you're just like. Socialising for me is a very current, like I've got to weigh it up in my current mood. Yeah.

Whether I'm in the mood. And often I'm not in the mood. Like, I'll say I'm in the mood, even like my wife will be like, we're going out for dinner with people. And then,

like an hour before, I'll be like, do we have to go? I'm not in the mood to eat in a group. You'll commit to the big things, eh? Such a yes.

Even then, you'll be a bit, if you're on that. What big things? Well, like, if a friend was having, commit to the big things, eh? Such an ass. Even then, are you a bit, if you're on that? What big things? Well, like, if a friend was having an engagement party or a birthday party.

Is it catered? Of course it is. You're still gonna decide on the day? Sade would make me go, but if it was up to me, it would be very much on the day.

I'd be like, I'm not in the mood and I'd message. I'd be like, I'm sorry I can't make it. Kids, the kids have got us. Sometimes I don't even offer an excuse. I'd be like, I'm sorry I can't make it. Kids, the kids have got to say. Sometimes I don't even offer an excuse. Sometimes I just say, I'm sorry I can't make it.

Right. Today, some things have happened. Right. Because I always find it's better when you say, something's happened. Because then it just lets their imagination run wild. Run wild, yeah. Yeah. What's happened?

And we're worst case scenario species. So they're just imagining the worst possible thing. And then I don't want to talk about it. you're also not even bothering with your lie detail no i know i'm letting them do all the work party organizing party inviting party throwing yeah and coming up with my excuse for why i didn't end up going but yeah they said uh so 26 have said yes to a social invitation despite never intending to actually go. And it's different between the generations as well. Right.

So Gen Zers are actually better than millennials. Right. Saying they're going to go and then actually following through. Right. So millennials again, they're the bad ones. Gen Zers pulling it back into being actual reasonable nice people. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

Now I saw this online out of an Australian, I think it was an Australian radio station that shared this. Okay. And with a little bit of research into our own New Zealand version, I can tell you that yes,

it's the same T and C. Okay. T's and C's. Terms and conditions. Okay. If you go to bunnings.co.nz slash returns, you can learn about their returns policy. Oh, I saw this over the weekend too.

Our returns policy is in addition to your rights under the Consumer Guarantees Act, easy returns. You've always got to, of course, keep your receipt. So you can be provided a refund. They love to check your receipt, don't they? Bunnings. Also, some of the receipts,

some of the receipts, the heat transfer receipts, because it's cheaper. You don't need to buy the ink. If you sit on them, they... And just over time, they get a bit faded and a bit no good. Yep. So you need to keep your receipts.

I scroll down, I go past online purchases and exchanges, exceptions to that rule, returns and exchanges for other things. And then the perfect plant promise. All of our plants, except seedlings, close brackets, are guaranteed for 12 months. If you're not 100% happy, return your plant with receipt or tax invoice and we'll refund it. Now seedlings would be if you're growing something from very small. Yeah. Like if you bought a tamati plant.

But I saw people sharing this at the weekend. Saying if you bought a hydrangea. If you bought a house plant and you've killed it, take it back. Yeah. Which I think is a bit rough. Like if I don't water a plant or I overwater it, which is what I do, and I kill that plant. Yes.

I'm not taking that back to Bunnings or wherever I got it from, the plant barn. Yeah. And saying I couldn't keep this alive. I want my money back. That's ridiculous. Because I bought some avocado trees from Palmer's, and that was when I learned from Palmer's that you could take it back. It was their grow guarantee or something.

But that's not their fault. But I did everything it said on the tag. And they died. But that's your fault. It's not their fault. No, I know, but I'm not digging it out in the ground to take it back and be like, look what happened. It's dead.

Because you also have to stand there and admit that you are useless at life and keeping plants alive. But then if you admit fault,

yeah, then is that technically that's on you? I would go back and I'd be like, I followed the instructions to a T, but it still died. But if you went back

and you were like, I didn't water it. And they'd be like, well, you've admitted fault now. Yeah. They'd be like, returning a drill, and be like, you didn't tell me I wouldn't drill underwater. Or something dumb like that. Yeah, yeah, true. And you avoided it, right? But if you don't water

a plant, or you water it too much, or you put it in direct sunlight when it wasn't a direct sunlight plant, surely you can't take it back in. I don't even keep my receipts. Surely there'd be questions, at least. Yeah. Surely you can't take it back in. I don't even keep my receipts. There'd be questions at least. Yeah. But you don't keep the receipts.

Well, yeah. I check them all out. I start keeping the receipts. So you can take your dead and dying plants back. There'd be a lot of trips too. I actually saved something for you. Have you got your phone on you? Yeah.

Unlock it. I'm going to airdrop you something. I'll do that. I mean, we could do this off air. We could do this off air, couldn't we? I kind of want your reaction on air. Ohlock it. I'm going to airdrop you something. I'll do that. I mean, we could do this off air. We could do this off air, couldn't we? I kind of want your reaction on air. Oh, okay. Airdrop.

Do, do, do, do, do. Hmm. Sometimes you've got to wait. No, there you are. I'm going to send that to you. Oh, okay. That's a handy guide to know like what those wear, what plants are good in what areas. Okay. So you've got to do a bamboo palm every five to ten days.

That's how often you should water. See, a peace lily, five to ten days. No, you can't go there. Our peace lily's been drinking a lot. You need to do a lot for peace lilies. As soon as the peace lily drops. Spider plants. I've got a snake plant.

I don't water that that much. That's good. That's every two to three weeks. You need to print this out and put it in the fridge, I think. Yes. You can probably frame it. It's kind of nice enough every two to three weeks. You'll need to print this out and put it in the fridge, I think. Yes. You can probably frame it. It's kind of nice enough to look at the guys in small frames. Maybe. And then there's what ones to put in your bathroom.

Handy. Aloe vera loves humidity and then you could like snap it and put a little bit on the skin. Good for you there. Good options. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Good for you there. Good options.