ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 26th

Episode Date: February 26, 2020

Megan's Gone ViralWhat Item Of Clothing Do You Find Hot?What Have You Been Asked To For Free?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Megan's back. Hello. Heel. Not dead. Now, do you have mumps? No, negative. I do not have mumps. Hence why I'm back, because I wouldn't be here spreading infectious disease if I had mumps. Right. So what is it then?

Most likely like some sort of infection. And is that causing your face to swell? Yeah. Okay. I can't even really tell though. It's gone down a little bit. I saw a bit of a lumpy bit there. Okay.

So I'm hiding behind the microphone. Okay. And like saw down my neck and stuff. But I'm here. I'm here. Good. Good. I had a good chat with the doctor about vaccinations.

Good. Of course, vaccinations couldn't have stopped us. Well, vaccinations is probably why I don't have mumps. Yeah. Well, it's why we don't have polio or all the other ones too. Yeah. I was very pleased that I'd had my vaccinations. Right. Wasn't really down for anti-vaccine jokes though.

He wasn't. No. Oh, okay, probably because he's seen some dead things. Yeah. Dead things? Not. Probably just sick things. Dead and sick things.

Infectious things. Not. Probably just sick things. Dead and sick things. Infectious things. Yeah. Yeah. All right, coming up on the show are the top six. Yeah. Marahuajahuana use is up with boomers. Okay. So I've got the top six signs your boomers are on the hooch.

Or on the electric puha. Yeah, right. The devil's lettuce. Electric puha. Yeah. We never The devil's lettuce. Electric pooha. Yeah. You never heard it called that before. Really? I feel like that is what the boomers would call it.

The devil's lettuce. Yeah. I like that one. The devil's lettuce. Satan's coleslaw. No, I just made that one up on the spot. It's not as good as devil's lettuce. No, that sounds delicious though, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does. It does. It sounds spicy. It sounds like it would be very expensive at the supermarket deli. Devil's coleslaw. Satan's coleslaw. Yeah. He's the devil got sick of lettuce. We will give you a couple

more chances today with ZM's $100,000 secret sound. Megan, yesterday in your absence, soundkeeper Gary went to give him a couple of compliments and he upped the jackpot to $60,000. Thanks to Save My Bacon. I can't believe I missed it.

I'm the one who harps on about it all the time. I know. And then I missed it. I think he did it because you weren't here. Bitch. Also coming in, Charlotte Crosby, just after 7.30 this morning. Very exciting. Do we think that she will make it in after she had a big night?

Well, she had an outback party last night. Vaughan, she was on Have You Been Paying Attention. She's on tonight. This was at the recording of Have You Been Paying Attention last night. Straight afterwards, she was driving from Auckland to Hamilton to kick off a party at 10 o'clock last night that went to God knows what hour. And then I don't know if she's driving back for this interview or she came back last night after the party.

I'll be so impressed if she makes it. If she makes it, yeah. I wonder if she'll be in the same clothes that she was in. Well, I'm not judging her if she is. No, neither. She barely had time to get changed. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Story time. I have sourced three news headlines. I will read them out. Vaughan and Megan will choose one of the following three. Headline one, man's long run. Headline two, six-year-olds tackle new school subject. And headline

three, Snapchat video used as police evidence. Those are your three headlines today. Six-year-olds learn new subject. Six-year-olds tackle new school subject, yep. Tackle.

As in the physical. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't think that's, yeah, I don't think tackle really. Okay, so emphasis not on tackle? Emphasis not on tackle. Emphasis on new subject. Learning, sure, yeah. Do you want that one? Yes.

Yeah, okay. Let's go with that one. It's a sad story. Is it? Oh, shit. It's not a good story. It's go with that one. It's a sad story. Is it? Oh, shit. It's not a good story. It's not a low story. We go now to Tennessee.

Oh, are you effing kidding me? Why can't I look? Why? No, but I could look at this story at home. The New York Times, then. The New York Times. You've got to sign up for this. Should we pick another story?

No, I mean, I basically remember the story. Okay. Tennessee. This is off the top of my mind. Tennessee. Six-year-olds are being taught how to use, is it Narcom? The stuff to... Oh, no.

If people overdose. That's so horrible. So there's a nasal spray. If people overdose. That's so horrible. So there's a nasal spray if people overdose. On what? Isn't that what they gave to Demi Lovato too? They administer it

when someone overdoses. Because I thought you could get a pen. I thought it was like an EP pen. But this is a nasal spray. And so if they find mum or dad or whoever passed out on the floor, they are teaching them in school how to administer this drug.

Oh, my God. Which is amazing. Narcan. Narcan. Narcan. Narcan, yeah, Narcan. So that's narcotics something. Yeah, and basically what it'll do is, I guess it's like an EpiPen.

It's like an adrenaline shot. It blocks the effects of opioids. Oh, okay, so opioids, because there's a horrendous opioid epidemic. Especially in that part of America at the moment. Yeah, and it's actually quite ironic because these six-year-olds are being taught this in Tennessee, and a lot of schools in Tennessee have some of the strictest sex education teachings. Right. Like some schools aren't even allowed to show how to put on a condom, for example.

And they teach that you shouldn't, obviously abortion's not an option. No, but. And because it's quite a religious middle America state. Right. But yet, there's six-year-olds in some schools are being taught. How to save their parents' lives. Yeah. Isn't that nuts?

Wow. And sex education, no. But teaching this, yes. Wow. That's what's a sad story. That's crazy. What an absolute downer. Just like, they need to, like, sexy time and nips and all that.

Like, not going to kill you. Drugs and guns, however. Like, I'm not going to kill you. Drugs and guns, however. Well, I nearly died on nips once. Did you? How did you do your overdose on nips? One shot into my nostril when I was sniffing the breast. Oh my God. A nip just blocked. Oh, right.

Okay. And you nearly died. Should a nip have gone in the other one? Yep. Oh no, I just sort of breath Oh, my God. Just blocked. Oh, right. Okay. And you nearly got. Should have never gone on the other one. Yep. Oh, no. I just sort of breathed out my mouth. Wow. Okay, good.

Okay, good. All right. So that wasn't a close call. It was one third of the way. I can see how you felt suffocated, though. Yeah. By breasts. What a way to go.

You breathe out When you motorboat You don't breathe in But that was What I know now Young Vaughan Smith Didn't know these things No No

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM We need to discuss Something you were tagged in Yesterday Vaughan Vaughan

Sorry Vaughan Not Fletch Although What were you tagged in yesterday, cutie pie? You usually pop up when you get tagged in a couple of cute things What are you talking about? Or pickle burgers and stuff like that

That was one I saw recently An all pickle burger I'm not policing your tags I'm pretty sure we're about to. Okay, we are policing your tags. There's got to be a story behind this. Yeah. So could we all please, this is another plea from doctors.

Could we stop putting frozen potatoes in our bottoms? Up our bottoms. Vaughn, and why were you tagged on this by your wife? I haven't talked to her about the exact reason why. I think she just found it funny. Right, okay. Was we, one of our favourite stories as a couple was the person who had to get the eel.

Not one of our favourite stories. What am I talking about? My wife and I love to. The eel, not one of our favourite stories. What am I talking about? My wife and I love to. We found much mirth in the story of the man who had to have the asparagus-sized eel fished out of his hanus. Yeah, that's right. At the hospital. Because we couldn't get our head around how you'd get an eel up there,

let alone why. It had all the W's and H's there. The why, the what, the how, the who. Who helped? When? It's a bizarre story. I remember that. At the time of the day, do you do that?

That wasn't a New Zealand person, was it? It was. Oh, God, really? I'm sure it was. Yeah, no, I think you're right. That was some time ago. You're going to Google. Oh, it was a long time ago.

Yeah, like the bum. And so we often do, I should set up a Google News Alert basically with some keywords because we are always fascinated by the stories of... Things going up bombs. Things going up bombs. No, it was China. Doctors in China removed an ear. It was in 2017.

No, this was before that. And he's saying constipation. He put an ear up there to relieve constipation. New Zealand. We haven't. It was in New Zealand. We talked about it at the time. Remember we heard from all those radiologists And they said mate that's the tip of the iceberg

And someone had a frozen drumstick up there Someone had a chicken drummy Why were you tagged in a story About people putting Cold potatoes Up their nose And why are people doing this? So it's not a whole frozen potato just to make it a little bit better.

People are putting like chip-sized frozen taste. Like a chunky, like a hand-cut fry. Like a McCain. Steak fry. Like a McCain pre-cone. A beer-battered. Steak fry, not a french fry. Actually, probably not beer-battered.

Probably just straight up. I wouldn't tempore them. So it's for people who are suffering from hemorrhoids. There's a random thing online that is saying if you put a chip-sized slice of frozen teide up the bum, leave it there for 30 seconds, it helps.

It doesn't. Doctors are like, it doesn't help. I've never had hemorrhoids, but I assume it's a cream, isn't it? You go to the doctor and they give you a cream. Or like a suppository or something. I don't know. I don't help. I've never had hemorrhoids, but I assume it's a cream, isn't it? You go to the doctor and they give you a cream. Or like a suppository or something. I don't know. I don't know. But, like, you can understand it would be painful

when someone's telling you that's how you relieve it. And you probably... Is a potato famously a vegetable that does a good cold press? I don't know. Like, you know, you hear about the cucumbers on the eyes, it'll reduce the swelling and everything. Do you know what I was thinking more

is that when it gets warm, it won't, it keeps its... It holds together. Yeah. As long as you cut it Structural integrity stays when it heats up.

Not a baby potato. Not a baby potato. Not a shoestring. Those are very soft, aren't they, baby potatoes? You wouldn't use a baby potato. Not a shoestring. Those are very soft, aren't they, baby potatoes? You wouldn't use a baby potato because it doesn't have the length. Oh, yeah, right.

And not a shoestring. Assuming you'd leave a little bit hanging out. You need those ones that McDonald's use to make the really long ones. Yeah. But then it's so skinny. 2012, an unnamed individual presented himself at an A&E department at Auckland City to explain his rather

embarrassing problem it is believed the patient was sent for x-rays and a scan which showed an eel lodged inside him the eel was about the size of a decent sprig

of asparagus remember this this ruined asparagus in the Smith house for a few years we're back on asparagus now we love a bit of asparagus. Roll around on the barbecue with some butter and some garlic.

But there was a time when the Smiths couldn't touch it because of the... Because of the eel. The taint. What's the eel? Oh, I don't know. Don't, yeah, no, let's not go further into that. Poor thing. Good Lord.

Poor thing. It was something around the... But like China, they've got a billion people, so, you know... Yeah. You can write this off as a billion people. There's going to be a couple of weirdos, but New Zealand, per capita, more eels up the ass than any other country in the world. There's a new feature for Netflix, and this is New Zealand specific. It's the top 10 in New Zealand.

So it's going to have the overall Netflix top 10. Yeah. What people are watching. Then it's going to have the overall Netflix top 10 TV shows and the overall top 10 movies available for streaming. This is big because they're very, they're normally very secretive, aren't they, Netflix? They never release how well a show's doing or how it's done. How many streams it had.

Yeah, they never say. No. But then you always, when you finished a program you're watching, you're like, what is everyone else watching? What's everyone into at the moment? I always ask you guys, but now you can scroll through. It comes up, I think it's like a little heart or something. Yeah, but see.

It tells you what number it is. I trust you guys, but the general population. Yeah, see, I saw. I don't know if I'm going to like a top 10 of general. Because I was at home yesterday watching a lot of Netflix. I saw this pop up and one of, I think number two was like Skyscraper,

that movie by The Rock, which is not... I mean, it's not great. Yeah, but it must have just been put on Netflix. So that was like number two in New Zealand. So they're breaking it down, aren't they? Overall movies and TV. Yeah. Okay. So if you're in the mood for a binge, you'd go to TV? Overall, movies and TV. Yeah. Okay.

So if you're in the mood for a binge, you'd go to TV because you might have a series. Yeah, right. But also when you're scrolling through on your homepage, if you go past something that's in the top 10, it has like a heart thing on it that tells you. Oh, right. You don't have to go to a specific area. You can see it when you're- Right, that's just within the top 10.

Yeah. Okay, but at the bottom it will just say, it'll have it listed by popularity. It's handy. Well, that's good. Yeah, because you're always looking for a new chalet. Yeah. And then you just scroll through and think how terrible everyone else's taste is.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Our statistics show that there's been a massive rise in the use of marijuana in adults aged 65 and older. Okay. Yeah, in the US, around the world, there seems to be a trend around the world, especially in older women. 93% increase from 1.5% who used in 2015 to 2.9% in 2018. That's still low.

Very low. Overall population. But also they're a wily old bunch the boomers that probably think it was a trap. And also a lot of places would be legal now. Yes. Which would mean they wouldn't feel bad about it. Yeah. And maybe

more conditions would be treated with or the effects of the conditions could be dullened by. Dullened? Dullened? Dulled. Dullened felt very fancy. And it's like word of mouth.

As soon as your mate Sue says she's treated, used it for arthritis, then they'll be like, you know what, Sue says it's good, so I'm going to give it a go. I'll give it a go. I'm going to die soon. May as well try it. Yeah, so I'm going to give it a go. I'll give it a go. I'm going to die soon. May as well try it. Yeah, why not?

Dullend is a word. Is that actually? Dullend. But does it mean what you thought it meant? Third person, it's describing to dull something, but in the third person sense. It sounds so weird. I know, dullend. So the top six signs your boomers are on the wacky tobacco.

The devil's lettuce. Electric poo. The tea pooky thunder. Number six. There's never any biscuits in the house. And there's always biscuits in a boomer's house. That's right. You go home and there's biscuits.

Always biscuits. You've seen my mum's biscuit drawer. Oh my God. She's got a drawer for biscuits. It's tense. Now if you go home and there's no biscuits, that's a sign. Someone's got the munchies. Where are all the biscuits?

Number five on the list of the top six signs your boomers are on the wacky-backy. Dad's whipped up a killer bong involving a glass bottle that he blew himself from his new hobby, glass blowing. He's also repurposed an old bike tyre valve from his old hobby, hobby, hobble? His old hobby hobby cycling. Waste not, want not. Good for you, Dad. Number four on the list of the top six signs the Obamas are on the wacky back here. They're really into watching The Chase.

Like, really into watching The Chase. They're already into watching The Chase. Well, now they're really into watching The Chase. Like, just staring at the screen. Absolute silence. Wide-eyed. How does he know so many answers, man? And they're probably eating the biscuits while they're watching.

Well, yeah. And that's a pre-dinner. That's before dinner, yeah. I know, yeah. Madness. Might skip dinner. Just had all these biscuits. We're full now.

Number three on the list of the top six signs your boomers are on the wacky-backy. The good bone-handled cutlery's knives have some weird burn marks on them. And Dad's had the gas camping stove out a lot lately, but hasn't been camping for ages. I don't know what they're doing there. Yeah, odd. Number two on the list of the top six signs your boomers are on the wacky backy.

They talk about what Chloe Swarbrick's up to on Instagram a lot. They've gone green, have they? Yeah, they're like, did you see Chloe was, and they say Chloe like they know her. Yeah. Did you see Chloe was down in Featherston? I can't imagine Chloe Swarbrick doing a trip to Featherston. Why not?

Got to get to those rural areas. If weed becomes legal, Featherston would be quite the place to grow it. You're right. And number one on the list of the top six signs your boomers are on the wacky-backy. Mum's growing her own because that stuff she's buying isn't that dank. She's ripped up the roses and planted some sativa. Imagine that. You know mums would grow.

Well, they've got the green fingers, don't they? They would. I think mums even mentioned growing some if it becomes legal. Really? Because why not? Why not? I don't know how she, because she doesn't, she can't smoke. She'd probably be more into her edibles.

Yeah, all right, okay. The biscuits. But then she's also like really, she doesn't like to eat too many sweets. Yeah, right. Maybe she'd just do a savoury scone. How would that taste? A cheesy mite, weeds, scone. That'd be doable.

Yeah. That'd be totally doable. Okay. Interesting. I'm going to Google some recipes. That is today's Top 6. Vaughan and I often talk about how we're pretty loose with best bar before dates or used by dates. I'm just loose in general.

A couple of party animals over here. We were out last night, Tuesday, cruise day. What? I was just trying. Why aren't I loose with used by dates? No, you're not. No, you're not. Yeah, I am.

And like leftovers and stuff. Yeah, I'm loose with that. Buzz, I'm cool not. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. And like leftovers and stuff. Yeah, I'm loose with that. Buzz, I'm cool too. Not as loose as us. I don't know if it's cool. We apply the sniff test. I think all three of us grew up in very similar households

of not much waste though, right? Yeah, definitely, yeah. Dad was the disposal unit. Like dad will eat mints until the orange stuff that grows on it is literally more than the mints. Chicken, like, we rolled the dice on that stuff, baby. I just, like, if it's been in the fridge a few days,

just I heat it up really hot. Yeah, I'm on the same. Okay. So can I be in the club now? You can be in the cool kids. Because even milk, I mean, it's best before. It's not used by. It's still fine after.

Yeah, they're just being safe. You can get a couple more days out of that stuff. Especially green milk. Yeah, green milk's watered down at 8am. Lasts forever. So food waste is obviously a massive problem worldwide. We're throwing away a lot of food. A lot of it is perfectly good food that we can still be eating.

And apparently it is just the fact that a lot of supermarkets don't want to get sued for selling stuff that has made people sick. So not only the manufacturers of the food, but also the supermarkets are very generous with the use-by dates. So they've broken down into categories what you can apply the sniff test to. Yep. And how long things should be okay after their use by slash best by date.

Do you have chicken on the list? Chickens first. Because this isn't, because the other day I got some chicken and because I am an absolute sucker for those quick, what do they call those ones that are like reduced to clear? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bloody love those. The ones that have got the date written on it and when it was cooked.

No, the chicken in the package chicken. Reduced to clear. Like breast or uncooked. In the meat section. Uncooked. In the meat section. What are you doing? What?

I don't know. I'm a bit weird about that. Oh, Mr. I'm loose with everything I've been eating. No, no, no. My meat is reduced to clear. I get annoyed when I have to pay full price. I'll get reduced to clear. Why just don't buy chicken breast?

Too dry and too expensive. Oh, no. Yeah. But I don't like when you pick up that chicken and it's reduced to clear, but it's been there so long and something's been sitting on it. The juice has been squeezed and it's started dripping out the gladrappy. No, I don't know where you're going for your chicken, but nothing's leaking at my supermarket.

A bit of a dribbly mess. A bit of a dribbly juicy mess. But that's the thing with reduced clear chicken, is they are reducing it because it's near its best before. Yeah, you look at it and you're like, well, it has to be eaten today or tomorrow. Yeah, and the other day I had one that was like two days over and I was like, I'm just chucking this out. Did you chuck it out?

Yeah, because I was real scared because it was two days over. Oh, I would have still done it. Really? I know I thought about it, but then I was like, takeaways are yummier. And just went and got takeaways. Yeah, yeah. So in terms of chicken, they've said it should always be stored in the fridge. If it hasn't, then no.

No, no, no. This is always if everything's been stored properly. They reckon you can go past a day or two, but apply caution and the sniff test is helpful. You sniff it and if it's iffy. If it smells funky. If it's funky in any way. I mean, raw chicken doesn't smell great anyway. Yeah.

But there's definitely a difference. Ham. Any word on ham? On their list? Because that's a sniff one that you're like. Is that like, that would fit into sausages, burgers, mincemeat? Yeah. Okay.

What does it say for that? Oddly, this is one that you should stick to the use-by date. For sausages, burgers, and mincemeat. Okay. And the sniff test is useful. Follow the use by date for sausages, burgers and mincemeat. Okay. And the sniff test is useful. Follow the use by for this. Really? If you ever have bought sausages

and then like plans change and they just sit there for ages and when you finally get rid of them, oh damn, sometimes they are rank. They're rank. But see, I would have thought beef would have been better than chicken past its best before.

Red meat is a different section. Right, okay. That was just sausages, burgers, and mincemeat. Because it's so processed? Maybe. So red meat, you can ignore it for up to a week, the best buy. Because you've got that meat that you keep for ages and it goes different calories. Is that what they do for that?

Yeah, but that's dry-aged meat. That's like don't just chuck something in the fridge in its container and expect it to dry-age. There's got to be perfect conditions for that. Milk. You can ignore that for a week after it's passed by. See, that's a sniff test one, though, for me. Yeah, they say sniff test is useful. Or you stir your coffee in these lumps.

No, you always tip a little bit in the sink and then you see if there's any lumpy bits. Oh, okay. Good call. Do you know, because I have coconut milk now a little bit. Ooh, la la. Good call. Yeah. Do you know, because I have coconut milk now a little bit. Ooh la la. Well, shut up. It's better for my tummy because it gives me a bit of a boggy tongue. But I was like, that will last forever.

It doesn't. Yeah, right. It goes like slime. Does it separate? No, it goes like slime. Oh, yuck. And I, because I sniffed it and I was like, oh, it smells like coconut milk. Took a gulp and it was like slime in my mouth.

So that goes off. Okay, so don't, all right. What else would you like to know? Hard cheeses. Sniff test not relevant. Can be ignored for up to months. Yeah, yeah. Because then you just, if it's a hard cheese, you just cut the crusty bit off.

You're good to go, baby. They said if it develops a bit of blue-green mould, scrape it off, it's not going to do you any harm. Yeah. Because a lot of people are funny about that. Just cut it off. Yeah. And even if there's no mould on it,

if it's just gone hard and it's yellow, that can be used for like cheese toasties and stuff still. Yeah, if you're going to melt it down. Yeah, exactly. Butter, this can be ignored for months. There's no problem with out-of-date butter. That will last forever. I saw a, speaking of things you can ignore forever,

some salt for sale. It was like bourgeois salt. You know how people get a bit la-di-da about salt? No, it was like rock salt from somewhere, and it was like from a 5,000-year-old rock salt mine. Yeah, right. Expires 2021. I was like, well, why did it last for 5,000-year-old rock salt mine. Yeah, right. Expires 2021. I was like, well, why did it last for 5,000 years and now it's...

Well, why didn't they get to this a bit earlier? Welcome to the Fleeche Warner Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafe, for great barista-made coffee on the go. Good morning, Soundkeeper Gary. Which saved my bacon. Good morning, Soundkeeper Gary. Good morning, guys. Megan, good to see you back.

Could have used you yesterday. Why don't you give me a clue? That's right. Gary, there you go. Hey. Is this for me, Gary? Yeah. That's the jackpot.

That's right. Wow, so not only yesterday did you jackpot the secret sound to $60,000, we're getting a clue. Suck it, Franklin. Wow, so not only yesterday did you jackpot the secret sound to $60,000, we're getting a clue. Suck it, Franklin. Wow, okay. I didn't know there was some kind of rivalry here. This game is heating up, isn't it? It is, yeah.

Are you ready for the clue? Yes. Here we go. You're on track. I have seen the sound. You're on track. I have seen the sound. You're on track, I have seen the sound. Now, does you're on track mean something more than just like you're on the right track? Like you're on a running track.

You're on a running track. Is there something to do with track? Train track. Oh, yeah. Track and trace. Track and field. Yes. You have seen the sound. Yes. You have seen the sounds.

Yes. It's definitely the sound of track pants. Charlie, good morning. Good morning. All right, so does that clue that Gary has just dropped on us out of nowhere, does that help you with your guess? Maybe. Maybe. I'm

hoping that this works, yeah. Okay, okay, well this is the sound. $60,000 is all yours, Charlie. If you can tell us what that sound is. I think that it's someone biting into a piece of honeycomb.

Okay, because Gary, Soundkeeper Gary, is famously a beekeeper. Yeah. But the clue with Beyonce with a cross through her, was that not ruling out any kind of... I thought that, I took that as like no bees. No bee stuff, no bee. No beehive.

And in my mind, it's like you're eliminating a bee or something, like you're eliminating a bee or something. You're kind of destroying something to do with bees. So I think biting into it kind of works. Right, or the letter B. So what is your guess then? So it's biting into honeycombs. So there's this trend on TikTok at the moment where people are biting into honeycombs then being, like, overwhelmed by how much honey they have.

And I think it's... Yeah. You should actually... You should YouTube it. It's really funny. I'm looking at one now. It's called So Honey TikTok. Right, okay.

Yes, that's the best one. Is that the vibe? Okay. Yeah. Do you want to watch this guy? Okay, I'm going to rewind him. We've got the sound going on here. I'm going to turn this over to my Instagram.

Oh, I hope there's no swearies. Oh, yeah. Is there any swears? Oh, no, there's... No, no swears. Okay. Okay, well turn this over to my Insta. I hope there's no swearies. Oh, yeah. Is there any swears? No, no swears. Okay. Well, it's all on you, Charlie, if there's a sweary. Okay. All right.

Stand by. Okay. We got the honey. A little ASMR. So honey. Oh, my God. I love that. Oh Play the sound the honey Do you want to hear him bite it? Yeah, okay. Ooh. Okay, and this is the sound. They do sound very similar.

I know, right? Yeah. Imagine if the secret sound, if somebody outed the sound on TikTok, Gary, and this was the downfall of your big competition. You'd never get to 100,000. Also, you're missing a trick for a sweet TikTok. I know.

I'm bringing in honeycomb tomorrow, guys. Let's do this. Disgusting. Do you have some? Do you have some? Yeah, I've got tons of it. I'm a beekeeper. It's honey making season, right?

It is. I want Vaughn to do that and then say, it's a honey. It's a honey. Charlie, appreciate your call but it is not what the secret sound is i'm glad to meet you yeah we had fun charlie we had fun we had a lot of fun charlie one more time one more time shut it down oh why would you do that i thought we were done with it i I don't know, go into my history. Here we go. Here we go. Okay, we got the honey. A little ASMR.

More. It's so honey. I love that we've gone down a TikTok hole on here. Like, this is exactly what happens when you get on TikTok. And then two hours later, you're back where you started. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There's a 2-2-2 dating rule. It's the rule within a relationship that a few people swear by.

Okay. So the 2-2-2 rule is fairly simple. Every two weeks, you need to take and spend a day with your partner. Every two months, you take the entire weekend to relax and refocus on romance. Just you two? Yeah.

Every two what? First, for the day, it's every two weeks. For the entire weekend, it's every two months. And then every two years, you need to take a week off and do whatever you want, just the two of you. So go on holiday. Yeah. I mean, you could do more than

that, but that's like the minimum. Would this be if you've got children, would they be there? No. Or would they not be there? No. Well, this is just for you two to romance and reconnect. What about a date night?

Is that enough? Because people might not have the time to do a whole day. That would be every two weeks. You'd spend a day. So a date night, I'm sure, would be enough. Every two weeks, date night? Yeah. How often would you do a date night?

Last year, it was quite strictly once a month we did something. Okay. And this year, is it not strict? Well, no, we've done. Willy nilly. One, two. Well, no, maybe we haven't done the February one yet. Okay.

Well, you've got four days. Five days. No, less than. I'm just trying to think. If we have done a. No, we've done a dinner, but it was with other people. This is just the two of you, right? Yeah.

Okay. And then every two years to take a week off, just the two of you. Well, some people just don't get a chance. Just don't get time off. At school holidays, the kids, they don't have people

they can offload them to or they might not be able to get work off at the same time. But I think the idea is good, isn't it? Yeah. Making that time. That's the 2-2-2 rule that a few people have sworn by in their relationship. Do you have one that you swear by, like that?

Because you'll do regular date nights, won't you? Yeah, yeah, we do that. But we have a couple of weird things that we're not allowed to swear at each other ever, even in arguments. We don't swear. Holy moly, that's great. Holy moly. You can say that.

Oh, shivers. It'd be like you're arguing with Ned Flanders. You stupid't swear. Holy moly. You can say that. It'd be like you're arguing with Ned Flanders. You stupid dingle. Stupidly widdly. Sometimes you sit there and you're like, but you don't. It's just a rule. We never swear at each other. I never swear at Sade. Nope. No, not necessarily at, but even in

an argument to emphasise your point, you're not allowed to swear. You're not allowed to say that effing really. No, no. That's a good rule, actually, isn't it? And also whenever we... You've got to be effing kidding me. Like that. No.

Really, you've got to be kidding me. But what happens if Mr Toy Warrior breaks the rule? Does he get a snack? No, I've broken it more than he... He never breaks it. He never... But what happens when you break it? He's just like, was that necessary?

Oh, yeah. Because then you get to be that like that. You get to be the more mature. He's like, now we're swearing at each other, are we? If you were right in the argument, this supersedes it and it becomes the pre-agreed to. It wouldn't be an F you. It would have been an emphasis on something else. But still, yeah.

That's a good rule. I've only done it a couple of times. But yeah, that's one of our rules. Rhiannon, good morning. What's the rule that you have with your partner? Morning, guys. So my rule is with my partner, we've been together for a little while now,

and no matter whether we're angry or each other or we're so madly in love, every night we tell each other that we love each other and we give each other a hug. Oh, we do that too. Hugs are pretty nice, aren't they? It's just something small. I do take it for granted sometimes but

even if we're mad, for instance, if I'm mad, I'll say, look, I'm really mad at you right now but at the end of the day, I still love you. And then we'll give each other a hug and a kiss and then we'll sleep on our separate sides. But it's pretty cool, I think. What if he's in the dog box and you're giving him the cold shoulder?

That must be the hardest thing to do. Because you're like, I love you. I love you, dude. Yeah, it's pretty much like that. Makes the silent treatment very hard when you have to break the silence. Yeah. I think in the entire time we've been together, I can count on my one hand how many times we haven't said it to each other each night.

Okay, right. Yeah. That must have been some juicy arguments. Yeah. That's a good one. Even if I, like, fall asleep early, he'll wake me up just to tell me. Ooh. He's really rolling the dice there, my man.

Hey, Rhiannon, thanks for your call. Greg, what's your role in a relationship? So if we disagree on anything at all, we have to play rock, paper, scissors. And if you lose, you have to do it. Doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't matter if you... Yeah, but what if she's wrong, Greg?

What if, Greg, you're like, we're robbing a gas station tonight, Sharon, and she's like, I don't want to do it, and you're like, rob her, and then you win, and she's like, oh, well, I'll get the balaclava and the sauna off. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's it.

That's it. Gas station's getting robbed. It's binding, baby. Oh, wow, okay. Wow, binding. I mean, I guess that settles the arguments, doesn't it? Yeah, well, exactly. That's it.

It's always fair, and it's like rock, paper, scissors. It's a one in three chance of winning, I guess. Yeah. Are you allowed to do a best of three if you lose the first one? No, I've tried that a couple of times. It doesn't work.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, fair call, yeah. But, like, after all this time, you probably tried that a couple of times. It doesn't work. Yeah, okay. Yeah, fair call. But, like, after all this time, you probably know what each other are going to do first. No. Well, you'd be surprised. I've had a couple of times where I've gone, like, a week without losing. But then she said the same.

Right. Yeah, right. Bit of a streak. Okay, all right. Then you need one of those boards that they have at the casino by the roulette table where it says whether it's been red, black, red, black. Yeah, one of those. Thanks for your call, Greg.

Anna, what's the rule in your relationship? So we have dedicated nights to whether we're hanging out together or hanging out by ourselves. So Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we hang out and, like, have a couple of times where we'll watch TV, movies, or play board games or whatever, or go out for dinner. And then on a Tuesday and Thursday, we'll do our own thing. So I might go see a friend or have my own little beauty night at home,

do my nails, my hair, and he'll go play Xbox or something like that. And we do it on weekends as well. So like a Saturday, he might go hunting and I'll go out and have coffee with a friend. And then on a Sunday, we'll hang out together because we've got a baby as well. So we'll hang out and do like a family thing on a Sunday. Very organised. Very organised. I like it.

Anna, thank you for your call. Ask some texts. We're not allowed to get out of bed in the morning without cuddles. That's pretty cute. We're going to have a little cuddle in bed. What about in summer though? It's too hot for cuddles. That's pretty cute. That's the rule. They're going to have a little cuddle in bed. What about in summer though? It's too hot for cuddles.

That's just a quick cuddle. Just a quick cuds. Because then you get sweaty. Okay. In my marriage, no matter the argument, large or small, we are never allowed to say hate in the argument.

Oh yeah, that's a good one. And it's still, I love you, but right now I don't like what you've done very much. Oh, please. And we never go to bed angry.

That's easier said than done though. Yeah, true. But that's a good one because then you're not sleeping on it, are you? Yeah, but people always say that but it's hard not to go to like, and just before I go to bed, I think we need to discuss what we've been arguing about.

On our Instagram, Bri said we don't eat without the other. You never eat without bae. Oh, that's pretty cute. We try and stick by that too. Cute rule. My parents always did that. Like, if someone was going to be home late,

they'd wait for each other, but the kids would eat. We'd be like, I'm hungry. So the kids would eat, but yeah, mum would wait for dad. Okay. This is an unspoken rule in ours. You can't go to work without a little kiss.

Cute. I was on other persons. And Amy messaged saying scheduled sex, the best thing ever. What do you drop a little iCal invite, do you? Like 6.15 when you're home tonight, it's on. It's too planned. Where's the spontaneity? You're taking the romance out of it.

No, but you'd like just send little like hints all day and be like, yeah. Is that why you're smirking when you're messaging after the show? You can talk. Yeah, let's not. Oh, we've run out of time. Oh, what a shame. We have run out of time. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

Tonight, Lotto Powerball, $42 million. $42 million. Is this the second highest it's ever been? Or the highest? I think it's the highest, isn't it? Does it have to go tonight? I don't think so. So it can go higher?

I think it can. The second largest price. Yeah, 45 I think is the top. Oh, 45 is the new limit and then it's got to be given away. So if it doesn't go well tonight, it's got to be 45, right? Yeah. I want to hit 45. And then it's got to be won.

So a statistician has been quoted in the news. This is Dr. Matthew Perry. From Friends. Also known as Dr. Chandler Bang. He was like, it cannot get any bigger. He's a statistician at the University of Otago. He has told the Herald

the probability of winning, because you know there's a lot more people buying tickets. Like I never buy a lot of tickets unless it's a huge jackpot. The probability doesn't change. Your odds of winning Powerball tonight if you have a ticket are 1 in 38 million.

Oh, shit. That's too much. I realised it was that slim. Like, that's ridiculous. And it doesn't matter if 10 people buy a ticket or 10 million people buy a ticket. Your odds are still the same. By two. By two.

Well, according to Chandler, no difference. Right. And Megan, Mr. Toyboy and yourself. We bought a ticket. This is your first ever time buying a lotto difference. Right. And Megan, Mr. Toyboy and yourself. We bought a ticket. This is your first ever time buying a lotto ticket. Yeah. Wow, you really want

that jet ski, huh? It's got, the need for a jet ski has got so desperate. They bought a triple dip. Because we discussed it. I was like, should we buy a lotto ticket?

He's like, I don't know how it works. I was like, neither do I. But just go in there and tell them that you don't know how it works. I was like, neither do I. But just go in there and tell them that you don't know how it works. They love this.

That is a mission. We've got a lot of students that are like, I don't know how this works. But I reckon you'd get people like you coming in now because it is the first time. And I'm like, well, I want in on this 42 million. Like, imagine if I won

and this is the first ever lotto ticket I'd ever bought. You'd be one of those people that's on those TV reality shows that pop up like, the losers that won lotto but have nothing now. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd be so hated. Yeah.

But then I'd go cry in my $42 million. So, no, no, no, no. But, yeah, he went there and he was like, I don't know what I'm doing. And there's different prices, right, for how many things. Yeah. So, he's like, I spent $28. Oh, okay. Yeah, right., right? For how many things. Yeah. So he's like, I spent $28. Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. So you got a few lines. Yeah. Yeah, right. It was like they upsold me on some lines or something and I was like, okay, $28 is like a lot of money

but $42 million is a lot more money. Yeah. That's good maths from you. But even with the upsell, his chances are still, your chances, one in 38 million.

Yeah, I didn't realise it was that slim. I probably would have held on to the 28 bucks. But then we started, we were like, okay, so what would you do with it if you won? Yeah. And yeah, Jet Ski was on there. Are you going to give us some if you win? I'll probably try and keep it quiet. We'd know.

We would know in a second. Yeah, because I'd rock in and like design it. You'd be jangling. We'd know. We would know in a second. Yeah, because I'd rock in and like... You'd be jangling. You'd be jangling in designer clothing. Yeah. And you would have had a weekend's worth of cosmetic surgery. Megan, did you win $42 million? Rock, rock, rock.

Can you tell her how rock, rock? I'm like, jeez, you look like that person who signs to the lands that are their face ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast special guest in studio this morning

you'll know her from Geordie Shore she has also been on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here in Australia she's been on Celebrity Big Brother

she's shall I carry on? Oh, would you behave all day? She's done Celebrities Go Dating. Just tattoo of us. Ex on the Beach, The Charlotte Show, Geordie Shore.

Yeah. I don't think we've got to stop there. Charlotte Crosby, good morning. Hello, hi everyone. But perhaps your greatest accomplishment, Hamilton last night. Do you know what, I was just saying this on the last radio station.

Everyone's like, oh, Hamilton. Hamilton? Everyone needs to take a leaf out of Hamilton's book because they are so crazy and so friendly and so amazing. I could have cried when I left the club last night because I was just thinking, you know what? I'm so lucky because everyone is just so lovely. Yeah, well, Vaughan met his wife at that club.

Yeah, that exact party. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. That's a lie. I absolutely promise you. You swear down. The Outback, yeah. See, I told you.

There's something about that place. It's magical. It's magical. I'm surprised I didn't meet someone last night. A four out of ten like me can score a ten out of ten on my wife. There's some sort of magical mystery anomaly. It's the lighting. That's very much it.

Or the lack thereof. Yeah, it's very dark. But it's not over tonight. Last night was the hour back in Hamilton. Tonight, Bar 101. It's Bar 101 in Auckland. Right. The craziness continues.

Do you ever get, like, we get tired of going out into clubs and meeting strangers. But do you know what? I honestly didn't actually get drunk last night. I just was drinking Red Bulls and, like, having a great time

and meeting everyone. But that's even worse because then you have to deal with everyone's sofa. Oh, no. Everyone's so nice. Honestly, everyone is so nice. My heart hurts when I meet people because they're just so nice Honestly Everyone is so nice My heart hurts

When I meet people Because they're just so nice And I just think How is there so many Nice people in the world Everyone says The world's got so many Bad people

But there's not You know You've just got to Go to Hamilton And then you'll Change your mind They should put that On the board

On the big tourist board On the way in Welcome to Hamilton Where the good people You've been looking for live that could totally work is that specific to New Zealand or do you find that oh I love New Zealand do you know what every time I've come to New Zealand

I've had a great time I love the accent I just love your accent it's so strange it's like it's kind of like it's a little bit german as well isn't it and a little bit south african you've got a very big south african twang really it's that southern hemisphere yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's all very like almost country western there's a lot going on.

Action-wise, there is a lot happening here. And so how many times have you been to New Zealand now? Well, I've been coming here for like 10 years. Yeah. And I think over the 10 years, I've been every single year, but most years, so maybe seven, eight times. Wow. I think the last time we spoke to you, you stole a hotel pillow, didn't you?

I did that last night too. On the way to the club, I was napping. So on the way to the club, I napped in the car the whole way. I always steal them. I hope I don't get wrong after this. They're always good pillows, aren't they? Yeah, they're so comfy. Fluffy pillow. Fluffy marshmallow pillows.

You almost want to eat them. Yeah. I'd like to see how fast fast through a pillow you could get. One bite you'd be like, no, no, this was a bad idea. Huge mistake. I want to know, out of everything you've done, like we listed a whole bunch of TV shows before that.

At the start of this. What is the craziest thing that you remember? Because I imagine I'm a a celebrity get me out of here it's pretty that was that was crazy that was crazy but it was just like filming kind of crazy so if you want to know the craziest like kind of surreal moment i've ever had is when we presented an award at the um mtv emas in frankfurt yeah and we'll present an award to justin bieber and we went on just after kim kardashian and like we'll wait in to Justin Bieber and we went on just after Kim Kardashian

and we were waiting in the green room and Taylor Swift was about to perform and all of us were in the green room like we didn't know what the hell we were doing, this was years ago, we all looked really crazy and we got, Taylor Swift kicked us out of the green room because she was like, can you get them out, I want to be in there

alone and we're just like running around the corridors like thinking, what's going on this is just the craziest time of our lives oh my god wow that was like that was crazy like yeah it being in the jungle and eating goat brains and buffalo testicles we've all been there every that's just a day in the life you know that's what you did in hamilton last night Yeah Right Okay I wondered how it all went down Testicles were a lot smaller Yeah It all happened

And next draft They're a lot more manageable You know what I mean Yeah Definitely wouldn't have said I'm somebody to get me out of here If they were like that on the show Yeah

And next draft to Darwin Darwin I was just saying Not many New Zealanders go to Darwin. You don't know why you love Darwin, the Hamilton of Australia. You know what? I've got to give you the list of places you need to visit. Yeah.

And I think you'd honestly be really happy after the trip. Okay. Best trip ever. Hamilton, Darwin. Darwin. What else would ever be on that list? And tonight on Have You Been Paying Attention? Yes.

Which we filmed last night. Yeah, we had fun, didn't we? We did. I don't know if a lot of that's going to make TV 2730. If it wasn't going to make it, why didn't they get us to redo them parts? But they didn't. We got us to redo the other parts, which we weren't even seeing as bad things we were seeing. And I was like, I think even saying as bad things we were saying in these parts before.

And I was like, I think that might be allowed, you know. It's not that rude. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We will see. It was your fault, not mine.

I only brought up ones you wouldn't drop it. I kept on trying to change the subject and then they'll bounce straight back to that. Yeah. That sounds like Vaughn. Yeah, I'm absolutely innocent. Well yeah, you can see her tonight and Vaughn on Happy Moon Paying

Attention, 7.30pm TV2. I did it so you didn't have to, Vaughn. And just before you go, what do you think the secret sound is? I don't know what I'm going to say. I think it's some wind from a certain hole in the body. I'm trying to be really friendly to all of the audience.

That's very well put. I don't know if Gary filmed that. I don't know. If he did, he's going to HR. Charlotte, thank you for coming in. Thank you so much for having us. I've got these headphones on. They don't even work.

I'm feeling really embarrassed. You've got them in the wrong plug. Oh, you've got them in the wrong plug. All right, are they working now? Oh, yeah. I just turned that up, didn't I? Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

It was a couple of weeks ago now that you surprised me with what you called a present. And it actually was. I thought it was going to be negative. I thought it was quite fun. You'd made a miniature cutout of me. You'd chopped the feet off and you had laminated it so that I could hold it up to pictures of shoes when I was online shoe shopping and see if it suited what I was wearing or like suited my feet. Vaughan and I have actually tried another idea where we've cut out our faces and put them on little toothpicks so you can try on t-shirts.

Oh, cute. We're going to try that later. Although I don't know if I want to now. Yeah. So there was a video made of it and obviously everyone who listens to this show knows that we're just having a bit of fun. It was just a bit of a laugh. I mean, if you wanted to give it a go, that's good, all power to you.

Until it went viral. And for some reason, lots of websites in the UK picked up this story. Yeah, all the big websites, the Daily Mail, the Mirror. Sun. Sun and Hindu Sun Times we mentioned yesterday. Like, Australian websites as well.

Crazy. I got emails from some websites asking if they could take pictures from my Instagram. And I was like, yeah, have it. It's public. I don't care. And I think the one that we posted yesterday had two and a half million views. Good Lord. So a lot of people have seen you without feet as a cardboard cutout.

Shoe shopping. And it was just fun. I was like, haha, hopefully that puts a smile on someone's dial. Didn't think too much of it. And I don't know why, but maybe because I wasn't at work yesterday, I thought I would go into the comments of Megan. Are we into the

Sweet baby Megan. Sweet baby child. Baby Jesus. But this is a good example, I think, of why we should be careful of what we say about people on the internet. Okay. I don't care. We've been in this game long enough.

Had lots of comments over the whole span of my career. Yeah, you get a bit of a thick skin. Yeah, I don't really care. Yeah. But given that everyone listens to this show, we know the context of what went down. These people don't. And so I'll read you

through some of these comments. What an influencer. Nobel Prize, please. That might not have been sarcastic though. I think it was. It was from Jim in the UK. I think it was sarcastic. How is this a hack

or even a game changer? Build an app that does it. Then you might have something. Far too much time on her hands. I mean, yeah. Obviously not enough to build an app. Clearly don't know me. That's one thing I don't have.

Shame the shoes in the photo of her in the red dress are clearly too big. Obviously her hack, a.k.a. tip, is about as useful as a chocolate fire guard. Because my foot, I had my knee bent and my foot slipped out of my shoe a wee bit. So those are my wedding shoes, dick. Anyway, I'm not that I care. You don't care. This is the one that really got me.

If you've ever wondered why most things in the world have been invented by men, this story highlights why. Wow. Wow. Wow. It's quite something for someone to be scrolling through their Facebook feed or a feed and then

stop and be so put out by what they've seen that they have to comment on it. Why would anyone look at that and think, huh, anything other than him? And if it doesn't interest you, scroll on by. Keep scrolling. Someone said anyone who has time to dress in an outfit, get someone to take a picture of them in said outfit,

print out the picture, cut neatly around the picture, hold it up to the computer screen to see if it matches a pair of shoes, has too much time on their hands and should be given some kind of useful work for their own good. Said the person who just wrote a thesis in the comment section of an internet site. But we all know that's not what happened.

Yeah. It's a promo picture that I did for my job that I go to every day. So yeah, context is always important. But there was one that said I had great legs.

They were like, any show that you go. That is the only one that matters then. That's the one I remember. Yeah, yeah. Set him. $100,000 secret sound. With Save My Bacon. All thanks to Save My Bacon

making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Soundkeeper Gary, yesterday a jackpot to $60,000. That's correct, but I feel like we're kind of the backup to Lotto if no one wins tonight.

I know. I'd have either. How can we compete with them? I'll scoff at that. Terrible chances with Lotto. What did I say before? One in 38 million. What are our chances?

Oh, one in... However many people are calling at the time. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Way better. No, because... No. Shh.

Oh, and then they have to guess it. Yeah, then they have to guess it. Well, that's on them. Well, we should get Chandler Bing from Otago Uni on the phone. Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry. Sorry, I knew from Otago Uni on the phone. Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry. Sorry, I knew it was one of them. Dr. Matthew Perry.

He'd probably tell us. He told the Herald yesterday. Gary, for those that have just tuned in, there was a clue at 7 o'clock. Would you like me to repeat that clue? Yes, please. I think that's where I was going with that, yes. Okay. You're on track.

I have seen the secret sound Alright Chelsea good morning Hi How does that clue work for your guess I think it fits in with my guess Okay well that $60,000 is all yours

if you can correctly identify the secret sound. Well, I've seen this online, so I wanted to give it a go. I haven't seen it in my house yet. So is it a banana being cut on a wooden chopping board? Okay. I get the initial... The banana gasps.

Yeah. It's like, ow! But then what's the noise after the gasp sound? If you are quite close, that kind of crack is the skin getting pierced, kind of. The crack of the skin on the banana peel is my guess. Interesting. Chelsea. Interesting. Chelsea. Yes.

How does that fit with the other two clues, can I just ask? So the first one, I assume you love bananas, so it's in your lunch. And then the second one, not queen bee. Had a quick Google. Bananas aren't good for bees. I had no idea. That's actually correct. If you eat bananas, they'll try and sting you.

They're more aggressive to you if you have bananas on your skin in the air. That's great news. Google is good for many things. Well, it is. You're not wrong. Well, Chelsea, I'm glad that you've learned that. But unfortunately, that's not the secret sound. But you've come away with something, so that's good.

You've taught us all something. You've taught us all something about bees. You're welcome. Yeah, I'm not taking bananas on a picnic ever again. That's for sure. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Intern, executive actually. Give her the title she deserves.

Executive intern, Anya. Would we? Would we say that's it, Kira? Executive producer. No, she's still an executive intern. I mean, after almost four years. Executive intern producer. Four years! That always blows my mind how long you've been here. It's been a dream

from start to finish. Sensing some sarcasm. From me? Last night, you donned your grown-up pants. Yep. Your adult apron. Yep. And you did what?

I had a dinner party. Don't mind me over here being a lady. At your parents' house? Well, yeah. So the parents are away So you had a dinner party Yeah And you felt extra growing up about this Yeah

This is the first time That I've ever had friends over Where I was like Don't I was like We'll sort everything You know We've had the odd potluck

And you know Come over and we'll get Uber Eats But it was the first time That I was like I shall cook for the people. And I had an entree and I had a domain. And they were like, can we bring anything? I was like, how about you bring some pud?

You know, I was that gal. So I made sangria. It was an absolute hurt in the heart. Where was our invite to this? Look, it's out of work hours. I'm not legally obliged to hang out with you. Run me through the menu. Entree.

Okay, so it was a Mexican theme. Hence the sangria. Love it. It's a layered dip. So it's got refried beans, avocado, some salsa, a bit of cheese and some coriander. I would have gone sour cream and dropped the fried beans if it was me. Oh yeah, I had some sour cream in there as well actually. That sounds perfect.

Still would have dropped the fried beans. Corn chips? Corn chips all around. Yummy, yummy. And that was a big hit, firstly. So that was there when guests arrived. So would we call that an entree or was that snacks? Was that entree? It's very snacky. Baby steps. Was that the entree? Oh, but I also

had some olives. Olives aren't Mexican. No, but they're slightly Spanish. Don't they speak Spanish in Mexico? And of course the Spanish settled Mexico, didn't they? Huh? I don't know. Oh, yeah.

This is why you didn't get invited last night. I don't want a history lesson. Mexico doesn't speak Spanish because they were just like, that seems like a nice language. Did they not? No. They were not? No. They were invaded. Oh.

I'm not getting involved because I don't know either. Don't worry. What was the main? What was the main? Main was fajitas. Okay. There was a little bit of an issue with the tortillas. Okay.

They stuck together when you were microwaving them? Well, I separated them before microwaving, which apparently is a rookie error, but I've never done that before. This is the way I've always done it and then I started separating them and they all bloody stuck together. Then I put them in the microwave. So it was basically like, here's an inch of tortilla, enjoy.

You bought the flour tortillas, didn't you? I did. It was a new pack. You need to buy the Tridish corn tortillas. And then you? I did. It was a new pack. It was a new pack. You need to buy the Tridish corn tortillas. And then heat them in a pan. So we had some chicken fajitas. That was beautiful. And then our friends brought some brownie for pud.

Well, that's not Mexican. That's not Mexican. Should have been churros. Look, baby steps. What are their names? Grace and Ruben. Ruben works here in the building. You morons. Were they informed of the theme though? They were. And I said ponchos and sombreros welcome.

Well, that's appropriation. Oh, wow. I don't know. Not anymore. I think you'll catch me. You haven't put photos on Facebook, have you? No. Am I going to have to do a social media delete?

First of all, you misappropriated the culture by dressing up as them and then unappropriated their culture by putting a brownie as a Mexican dessert. And olives. I'm sorry. And olives. I'm sorry. And said, don't they speak Spanish? Does it make it any better that I found a playlist on Spotify called Mexican Dinner Party? Because that was a bit of fun, let me tell you.

That sounds like. So overall, you felt very proud and very adult. So grown up. I wore a pinny. That's how grown up I was. An apron. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And they were like, can we help with dishes? I was like, no, no,

you guys don't worry about it. That's very grown up. Is this the playlist? This is Mexican dinner party. And then you also see there was a bit of Billie Eilish down the bottom. I'm not sure when she went to Mexico.

Spent time in Mexico. So you can imagine this over a broken tortilla. What a hoot and a half that would have been. And some olives. And Ruben saying, should I check that for any? Is this in Mexican though, is it? It was in the usual playlist. It's that guy from Matchbox 20, Carlos Santana.

Where do you think he's from? Is he Mexican? Yeah. What's the next song on the Mexican dinner playlist? Yes, this is it. Here we go, baby. We're in Mexico. And the little boy's there.

Eating olives. The little boy's there and he comes up with a new idea for a Mexican food and they hoist him up. Oh, the flat bottom taco. Yeah. But it's still hard shelled, so he's not there yet. No. Keep working.

Isn't that a little girl? I think it's a little girl. I think they made that child fairly androgynous so that boys and girls could look to the child for a culinary hero. Right. It didn't count anybody out. Right. I think we should take some calls now on those times when you had a proud adult moment. You know, you realise, I've grown up here.

I'm an adult now. I've had a dinner party. Or insert your story here. I feel like that every time I call the IRD. Every single time. Doing tax. And you're old. And they talk about stuff and you're like, yeah, whatever.

Actually, the IRD should have this hold music. Better than hearing Dave Dobbin again. Puts you in a good mood. Like imagine ringing up and you owe the IRD, you know, a couple of thousand. You hear this, all of a sudden you've forgotten your worries. The light, the light. Just wait there, I'm just going to check something with my supervisor and I'll be back in a moment.

Yeah, no, I was right. It's $8,000 you owe us. So, yeah, you've got to pay that immediately or you'll be going to a Mexican prison. All right, well, give us a call. 0800-DARS-IT-M. Text 9696. What was your proudest adult moment?

Maybe it was calling the IRD and doing your tax yourself. What a grown-up. What a grown-up. What was your proudest adult moment? Erin, good morning. Good morning. Okay, what made you feel proud to be an adult? So, my partner and I had actually bought a house,

and that wasn't the moment. It was the moment that we went and bought a grown-up sofa. Oh, yeah. What constitutes a grown-up sofa to you? Obviously a new one? It was new. Everything we had in the house had been handed down from, you know, parents. It was new.

Things from art shops. Everything was used. Yeah. And so we went and bought a proper, like, sofa. Yeah. So new. Brand new. I've done that before.

You buy a new washing machine and you're like, oh, my God, it's brand new. And I'm buying this. When you buy anything brand new, you're like, whoo. Thanks, Erin. Kate, what was your proudest adult moment? Hi. It was the first time I cooked a roast dinner for my friends and didn't kill them with roast chicken. Yes.

Was it dry? Did you just go completely the other way and just really cook it? Not completely. I completely shocked myself. I was not expecting it. This is really good. I was like, oh my god, I know. And you're like, I'm an adult now. Yeah. Brilliant. Kate, thanks

for your call. Tyler, what was your proud adult moment? Well, it was your proud adult moment? Well, it was when I first moved out and I bought all the kitchen utensils and kettle and everything like that. I felt so proud of myself. You had a nice spatula and a spoon and a... Yep. You know, like in a flat, you have all that stuff, but where did it come from? It's just, you've got miscellaneous utensils.

Yeah, it's mismatched. Yeah. But yeah, going to buy all your utensils at once, I've done that. It's something you've got miscellaneous utensils. Yeah, it's mismatched. Yeah. But, yeah, going to buy all your utensils at once. I've done that. It's something else, eh? Have you got a matching set of cutlery there, Tani? Oh, yeah, that's good stuff as well. That's good stuff, isn't it?

Yeah. All right, thanks, Tyler. Tani, what was your proud adult moment? I was going to my daughter's high school interview, and the principal asking, like, if I had any questions or concerns and I was like, I don't know if I'm qualified to be answering these questions. Because it feels like just yesterday that you yourself were there. Yeah, and then now they're making sure that I'm happy with what my daughter's getting

and I was like, wow, I'm actually an adult. Do you still get a bit nervous when the principal talks to you? Oh, yeah, the shakes and the sweaty hands and everything. I'm going to be in trouble. Yeah, there's a lot. The teacher's going to call you, and I was like, oh, my God, what did I do? Hey, thanks, Tati.

Some text messages. Somebody said We got a garden bin The other day Hello adulthood Like a green bin I'm imagining They must have got a green bin

We got a green bin Recently too And I was like Oh my gosh What are we doing Gardening Hello Now

I've got a green bin My adult moment Was also a dinner party But it was when My parents came to My house for dinner and I cooked everything. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it feels pretty good. Yes. Proud Adult Moment. The other day I asked to speak to the manager after I was slightly inconvenienced. I really felt my mother's DNA coursing through me. I got my car serviced. No, it wasn't because it needed a warrant.

I just got my car serviced. I did that recently too. It's incredible. Like, what are you paying for? It's going. Why am I bringing it to you? It still works. It's so weird.

So weird. Was that a free service? Yeah, I won't be going again. I was like, that's very unlike you. You shan't be doing it again. My daughter rang me from Australia to tell me she was officially an adult because she has ornaments now.

Yeah, that's adulthood, eh? Ornaments. Ornaments, yeah. I just filed a GSC tax return. Good Lord, that was horrible. But welcome to being an adult. Yeah, you're an adult now. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

It's time for... Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Yeah. Today's Fact of the Day is about the Sint Scholastica Day Riot. This isn't the Ashton Scholastic book pamphlet that would come to hell. You know that still happens? I don't know if it's called Ashton Scholastic, but my kids every now and then bring home one of those little folded book pamphlets.

Yeah. And they go and they circle the books. And I didn't say circle the books you want like we did when we were kids. This just has been passed down. Really? Through humanity. You get that book pull out, you circle the books you want and you never order them. No. You've got enough

books. Yeah. You kids. The parents are always saying that to kids. You want to read? You nerd. You've got enough books. Nerd. But when they did the book delivery and you always saw The richer kids Get their books And you're like

I know I could have done With that book Yeah We had a nice kid At primary Who got books Every time

But we'd be like Oh you can have A look at it before I'd take it home Yeah right And you'd have A quick squiz Oh bless

Thank you for your charity Yeah no it was nice Just to be like Yep open that up Try not to bend The pages back too far But this isn't about Ashton Scholastic and their fantastic range of books that my parents never bought me.

This happened on the 10th of February since Scholastic Day riot. It started, two students from the University of Oxford said to the bartender in the Swindlestock Tavern, the quality of this wine, sir, is less than what we expect. What year was this? 1355. Oh, okay. Yeah.

This is not good quality wine, to which the bartender, the taverner, took exception and they started arguing about the quality of his wine and then turned into a fight. The people in the pub also joined in, some saying the wine is fine and fighting on the side of the taverner and others fighting on the side of the students saying, no, the wine's rubbish. It spilled

from a bar-wide brawl out into the streets where it turned into a three-day riot. Armed gangs came in from the countryside to assist the town people. Were they on the wine side or the nice wine or bad wine side? I think by that time there were three sides. Oh, okay.

Pro-wine. Yep. Anti-wine. Yep. And anti-riot people who fought rioting with more rioting. Right. Some gangs came in to help the townspeople stop the fighting. All in all, after three days, 30 townsfolk were killed

and 63 members of the university were dead. Whoa. Wow. After a simple quarrel that started over the quality of wine. Good Lord. Nuts. It would be similar if you walked back up to the bar and said, I think this is corked.

It's got a little tang to it. And they took such horrendous offence to it that a brawl broke out and went for three days and 93 people died. So today's fact of the day is, in 1355, a disagreement over the quality of wine led to three days of rioting and 93 people dead. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Fair go. The New Zealand Institution. Yeah, that's been around. Would that be our longest? Television Institution, our country calendar. But that would be one of New Zealand's longest running TV shows. Yeah, that's been around. Would that be our longest? Television Institution, our country calendar. But that would be one of New Zealand's longest running TV shows.

Yeah, definitely. I remember watching that growing up. Mum would always have it on, mum and dad. Was that how you got, back in the day, that was the main place we'd see if any products

had been recalled too. And there'd always be dodgy builders. And that'd be the big threat. We'll take it a fair go. Yeah. And then Target came along and had their hidden cameras and all the panty-snuffing tradies. They had a bit of different stuff at the start,

but it was just the panty-snuffing tradies that got the ratings. So they were just like, let's get rid of the consumer rights. Let's just focus hard on tradies playing with themselves and other people's houses. But I tell you what, it got tradies on track forever, didn't it? Oh, they buckled up and sailed straight. They don't like to hang alone in bedrooms now, do they, tradies? I think so.

And good. Oh, I think they're starting to feel comfortable with themselves again. Do you reckon it's the return of... They need some more undercover stings. Yeah, right, okay. Definitely. And even if it's just an actor with a blurry face playing the dodgy tradie, you know,

puts all the tradies on the straight and narrow. You would have always been sus when the lady was like, I'm just popping out and leaving you in my home all alone. Bye.

And my panties are in the top drawer. Stop saying that, please, Morn. Undies. My knickies are in the top drawer. So anyway,

Faygo looked into sunglasses, expensive sunglasses versus cheap sunglasses and what blocks the most light and what's best for your eyeballs. And what were the findings? They were the same. Some really expensive sunglasses were pointless, apart from fashion.

Well, it's not pointless then, is it? Megan was scowling her face when you were saying that. But there are some that you can buy from the service station that are just as good. Yeah, but service station sunnies are a joke for a reason, aren't they? I mean, we're talking purely about eye protection. So whether it lets UV in, right? Is that what they mean? Yeah, UV.

Right. All the dangerous lights. Polarise. I don't even know if polarise means anything anymore, but I just like that you can look on that little display and see the fish. You can only see it if it's a polarised lens. Yeah.

Otherwise, good luck seeing the fish. So not all cheap sunglasses? Not all cheap sunglasses. Right. You should look out for a tag on them. AS NZS 1067, which basically means that they meet an agreed upon Australian and New Zealand standard. Right.

Does it have a list of expensive sunglasses that don't meet that standard? I think, did the expensive ones meet the standard, but they were just expensive? They're super expensive. Right. Right. Okay. Whereas some cheaper ones,

they're exactly the same, but cost you. Yeah. The thing is though, because everyone's like, oh, I don't want to buy expensive sunglasses, because I'll sit on them,

or lose them, or whatever. As soon as you buy more expensive sunglasses, you take care of them more. I don't. I do for the first little while. Yeah. And why do sunglasses

after a while they give up hanging on your shirt? Like when you first get them they're stiff and you fold them and put them there and you bend over

and they fall off. You keep tightening the screws on the arms. I obviously don't buy expensive enough sunglasses that the screws do anything after a little while. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan the podcast. It is time to launch my brand new segment. Can't wait. We've nearly run out of time again. I feel like the world's against this segment today. Well, get to it then. Waffling on.

Okay, are we ready? Yeah, come on, sweetheart. Get to it. Now, I've asked Executive Intern Anya to make an introduction bed for this segment, which I'm calling Fletch Sucks, because I have a vacuum cleaner here. And Tainani, you've made this?

Yeah, I think you should listen to it for the first time live on the radio. Okay, because none of us have heard this. The brand new intro. Okay. If you see a shady guy with a Dyson in tow, well, it must be time for... Flexa!

Did you voice that? No. That sounds like you. No, it's Gary. It's Gary, isn't it? Yeah. Wow. Unbelievable.

That's so good. Not spawns by Dyson, because we're using Executive Intern Anya's mum's Panasonic. Panasonic. I didn't know Panasonic did... Did't know Panasonic did vacuum cleaners. They give everything a go, don't they? 240 watts suction. I feel like the intro is going to be the best part of this.

Megan, already this is going swimmingly. Okay. So I've asked people to call 0800-DIALS-AT-M and I have $100 cash. You've got to guess what part of my body I'm sucking to win the cash. This couldn't be easier. I love that you're so excited. Why am I excited about this? This sounds like you were caught playing with yourself in a vacuum cleaner and someone's

like, what are you doing? And you're like, it's for work. It's for the radio. And then this was born out of the fact that you were caught doing something you shouldn't do. No, absolutely not. Plus, I wouldn't do that with my Dyson. Rip it off. The suction on those things is unreal.

Yeah. Seriously. You'd be causing some harm. Power. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You'd never get it out. All right.

So I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to get Ali on the phone. Ali, you're the first caller through. The first person ever to play Fletch Sucks. Awesome. Are you interested in him to say Fletch Sucks? Now that you know the competition, are you excited, Ali? Yes, very. Thank you.

Okay, I really liked the intro too. I thought that was great. That was really good. That was very funny. It's always love a bit of B-52s. We can sneak some B-52s on as well. That's always a bonus. That's a win-win.

Okay, so what I'm going to do is fire this up. Can you hear that? Yep. Good. Okay, now what I'm going to do is I'm going to suck a part of my body, and you've got to be exact. I'm only taking exact. So the body part.

What part of the body? Okay. Yeah, we got it. Okay. All right. got it. Okay. All right. All right, are we ready? So when you've attached it, do you then have to describe how it feels on that part of the body? I think so.

Because then that would give Allie in this case an extra. Okay, all right, are we ready? Are we ready? Yep. Yep. That felt weird. Megan. Oh, my God.

I hope you, I will give your new segment respect next week if you give this some respect. Okay, hang on. Are you going to do it again? No, once was enough. Is that it? Well, now Ellie guesses, doesn't she? Okay.

That's how that competition works. What body part, Ellie? Your armpit? Oh, Ellie. Hell no! Oh, you did one of those! Yes! That was great!

I'm sorry, Ellie. I'm just going to hang up on Ellie. Tina, good morning. Hi, hello. Tina, what body part? I'm going to go for the back of the knee. Oh. Hello.

Oh, my God. This is, I'm having so much fun. Sorry, Tina. Ruthlessly hanging up on people here. See ya. Bede, good morning. What body part? The palm of your hand.

Hello. Hello. Fresh us, baby. Good morning. What body part? The palm of your hand. Hell no! Splash dance, baby. Sorry, that is not. No. Sarah, good morning. Hi. What body part? Your big toe.

Hell no! That was great. Oh, I'm having so much fun. Do you think if I take a couple more calls and no one gets it, I'll jackpot it? Jackpot it. Yes. What a great idea. Will, good morning.

The nipple. This is a runaway success. That could be a good one for a future game, though. I like where Will's going with that. Darren, good morning. Hey, guys. How's it going? Good.

What body part, Darren? Your thigh. Ooh. Hell no! Oh, Darren. Well, unfortunately, Darren, I think we should jackpot this to $200. I'm going to give people another listen so they can spend the next week like the secret sound. I've got a weekly thing.

A week. Good Lord. What do you mean? Or tomorrow. Okay, if you want it back tomorrow, we can do it tomorrow. I reckon same time tomorrow. All right. When you were a kid, did you ever put the vacuum cleaner in your mouth?

No. No. Oh, shit, no. No, neither. I certainly don't want to talk about it. Okay, well, I think at the same time tomorrow, Fletch sucks will return. What about on your mouth? Did you ever put it on your mouth as a kid? No.

Because your lips go inside the tube and start flapping, and it sucks spit out of your mouth. Oh, okay. And then your mum would be like, who vacuumed up something wet? You don't vacuum up something wet. And you'd all be like, I don't know, mum. I don't know, not me. You know me, mum.

I don't use the vacuum pump. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.