ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 28th

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

When did you go into a shop not to shop?How did you discover you had a sibling?Megan and Andrew's joint invitation to a Hen's DoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Forna Megan. The podcast. Welcome to the show, Fletch Forna Megan. Friday morning. Whee! What are you doing? What are you doing? Typing away. I'm finishing the latest, actually. Oh, are you? I've got goss on Miley Cyrus. I'm just finishing that up. Okay. Bit of Miley, eh?

Yeah. How is the old duck? Thirsty. Is she? Not for water. Oh, it's American. How is the old duck? Thirsty. Is she? Not for water. Oh, it's American Thursday today, isn't it? Yep. Thirsty.

Thirsty Thursday. Does Vaughan have some Instagram accounts to check, does he? Well, I'm just, you know, my girl Vanessa Hudgens, she's back on the market. I was about to say Vanessa Hudgens loves a thirsty Thursday at the moment. Right, okay. Three hours ago. Migraines usually stem from being dehydrated. Get this girl a drink. Th the moment. Right. Yep, three hours ago. Migraines usually stem from being dehydrated. Get this girl a drink.

Thirsty Thursday. Right. I think she's trying to win back Austin. Yeah. Or really let him know what he's missing out on. Yeah. Who ended that? How's your other girl?

I don't know, actually. Who's my other girl? Rita Ora. Oh, what's her rate up to? It's kind of disturbing. Rita Ora's got the same name as my nana did. But you still find her quite hot? Oh, yes's old Reet Reet's up to? It's kind of disturbing. Red Aura's got the same name as my nana did. But you still find her quite hot? Oh, yes, very.

She's lovely. You love them both. Yeah. And sometimes they like each other's posts. Goodness me. Your nan and Rita. No. Red Aura and Vanessa Hudgens.

My nana's dead and she was 80-odd when she died a few years ago. How would she be on the gram? If she was, it'd be pretty amazing. She's liking from beyond the grave. All right, coming up on today's show, joined in studio before seven by Ray O'Leary. Yeah, he's one of the Billy T. James finalists. This is where at the end of the comedy fest,

someone wins the yellow towel, of course, worn by the famous Billy T. James. And he's one of the finalists performing tonight at Billy T. Jams in Auckland. Yeah, so he's a funny man. Chance to go along and see all of New Zealand's best comedians in one place. We had a chat to him before seven. The top six is coming up.

Yeah, there's people looking for, well, the museum's looking for single men to partake in their singles night at the museum. What a great place for a first date. You reckon? Yes. No. Do they still have the big elephant there? men to partake in their singles night at the museum. What a great place for a first date. You reckon? Yes. No. Do they still have the big elephant there that went rampaging and they had to put it down and then they were like, well, it's no point just digging a hole and burying it.

We might as well stuff it and put it in the museum. I don't know. I don't know. I found a photo of my dad as a kid beside that elephant the other day. Oh, really? So it's been there for a while. It's dusty. Yeah.

I'm sure they dust it. It's a dusty old elephant. It's been a while since I've gone. I don't know if it'll be my first. You'll be going back because the wildlife photography exhibition's on. I love that.

That's a great first date. That would be maybe. Did I sound sarcastic? I meant it. I meant that would be. What, the museum or the photography exhibition? The photography exhibition.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because that's always good. If you're walking around and they're like, ugh, sloths are a photography exhibition? The photography exhibition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because that's always good. If you're walking around and they're like, ugh, sloths are a bit yuck, you'd be like, it's over. Find your own way home. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. All right, three news headlines. Odd, interesting, quirky news stories and Vaughan and Megan must pick only one headline. Headline one, roller skating knife man stabs two in bizarre city attack. Good lord. Headline two, just like the movies. Or headline three,

police say babysitting not legal. Well, the story number one sounds a bit bleak. Yeah. Two's probably my pick. What was two? Just Like the Movies. Is that it?

Very vague. That's all it is, yeah. Just Like the Movies. You want that one then? Yeah. Okay, all right. Yeah, story three was a bit grim too, actually, when you think about it.

Okay. Babysitter not legal. Bad news day, bad news day. Right. Babies that are not legal. Bad news day. Bad news day. Right. We're going now to America now where police have caught up with a man who paid for his fuel

using a crisp $100 bill. The gas station attendant unwittingly accepted the money. Because if I show you a picture, just like, just flashing that money in front of you. Yeah, that's good for me. Because if I show you a picture, just like, just flashing that money in front of you. Yeah, that's good for me.

From what I know about the $100 American bill. Yep. Well, all their bills look the same. You've got to be careful when you travel there because I nearly

tipped someone a Hyundai and I thought it was a dollar. But also in my experience there, they make you feel, the minute you pay with a 50, they get out this pen and they write on it. Yeah, any, yeah, they do. There's a marker and it tells you if it's fake money or not.

Yeah. Anything over, yeah, 50 or a hundy. Look closely. What does it say on the top of the bottom one, Megan? On the top of the bottom one, motion picture use only. Ah. Wow. So this guy somehow, I don't know if he was working on a film set,

but managed to get his hands on some, it says it on the front as well, for motion picture use only. But they look like normal $100 bills. The only difference is instead of it saying $100, it says for motion picture use only. Because I guess in the movies you're not really looking that closely at a big pile of money in a drug scene, are you? I've always wondered if they have

like, how they get the money if it was actual money. Well yeah, apparently it's got this on it. You can't just print it off on the printer because it's not the same like viscosity as printer paper. Yeah, it wouldn't look the same in the movies, would it? Especially nowadays, you'd need

it with the cameras the way they are, you need it to look pretty legit. It does look legit. I always thought they might have a couple of real ones on the top, and then underneath was that, like, dummy money. Oh, yeah, right. They probably do that, too. Well, police managed to track down detectives,

found the 20-year-old man. He said he was surprised the clerk took the money. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, sir, sir, sir. You say something like, what? Oh, my God. I'm not given that. I sold something and someone paid me. I know, right?

Idiot. Well, he's been charged for the incident. Idiot. So he'll be off to court. You dumb, dumb. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Bad news for people who have a lot of facial hair

because coronavirus, if it gets to New Zealand, you might be in trouble. Is it the CDC? Yes, Centres for Disease Control and Prevention have released a list of 36 facial hairstyles that some of them are good, some of them are bad. They literally got a tick and a cross. Right.

They've named all of these facial hairstyles as well. I didn't realise they all had names. So they're saying that the airborne corona, what is it called, the COVID-19? COVID-19. That's airborne. So if that gets on your beard, it's staying around your bed until

you either touch it or what? It's to do with the face mask. You're not getting a seal. Oh. Is that actually even proven? When you go to bed, I'm constantly touching my face. Yeah, right. And then it gets on your hands and your bed

and then you might lick a little something. Yeah, right. But they've said that the use of a face mask, a respirator, anything is useless if you have these particular facial hairstyles. And Borneal's is one of them, full beard. Stubble, even just like a lot of stubble is a cross. What about my day stubble? Would this stubble be okay?

It says stubble, long stubble. Well, yeah, so any kind of stubble. Would this stubble be okay? It says stubble, long stubble. Well, yeah. So any kind of stubble. Right. You need to be clean shaven, have a soul patch, sideburns, a pencil moustache. Actually, most kind of moustaches are okay as long as it's not a horseshoe or a handlebar. Even a Hitler moustache. What do they call that?

The toothbrush. I've just found your chart. Oh, a toothbrush. Yeah, yeah. A toothbrush. They actually put the Hitler moustache on. They put the Hitler moustache on. Nobody's wearing the Hitler moustache.

No. No one's wearing a Hitler moustache. Just in case. Yeah, so most kinds of moustaches that don't go down like a handlebar to the chin. Anything that's going to break the seal for the face mask. I feel like those face masks are a waste of time anyway. Because can't it go in your eyes? I don't know. I've read so many articles

it gets in all your nooks and crannies. And then those masks don't make a seal anyway. So what's the point? But then you've got to take the mask off and they say you're supposed to reuse one. Like I'm not reusing one. Yeah, use a new one. Every day. Because otherwise you're going to touch it with your hands,

take it off and then put it back on and, yeah. But, I mean, it makes you feel better. I think that's one thing it does. But that's interesting to note, like, for if you're ever doing, like, insecticides or, like, pesticides or, like, any sides. Sanding. I do some sides and some sanding and some beard. Like, the particles are still going to get in some sanding and some beard. The particles are still

going to get in the side of your beard. But the beard stops it. It all gets caught in the beard. They're like microparticles. The beard is like a filter in itself.

It's a HEPA filter. It's a HEPA filter. Keeps asbestos out. Does it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Factual. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six.

Kia ora, good morning. Auckland Museum is asking for single gentlemen. There is an after hours mingle at the museum and that will be held on March 10th, but there is a shortage of men and that has organisers worried. The event has been popular with women and the LGBTQI people. But there's a shortage of men. And they want to balance out the gender ratio. Right.

So they're saying, men, come on. Well, I'm sure after this they'll have no struggle. Well, I've got the top six shenanigans to get up to at the museum on a first date. It's not all boring worksheets. Like if you went at school, is it? It's like, tell me, what year did Coupe arrive in New Zealand?

I'll tell Roa from Hawaiki. When you've got to walk around the museum being like, where is the answer? I'm just a kid. I can't even afford food at the museum cafe they don't give me any money I've just got a couple of smelly tomato sandwiches

in my bag that are getting soggier no it's fun it's a great time I love the museum when I win lotto this weekend I'm buying it the whole museum

my school museum trips were just horrible there was this real old battle axe what was your local museum? At the, what was it, New Plymouth? Yeah, yeah Yeah, the local museum

Okay And she was renowned for being a bitch And she'd always just be grumpy Weird job for someone who hates kids, eh? Yeah, and she'd always make you sit out by the settler's house If you were naughty and talking Did they have the shark on the ceiling when you were? I think so Didn't they have a big shark on the ceiling when you were? I think so.

Didn't they have a big shark? No, they had a big dinosaur. Oh. Yeah, but you'd always go along. It's a bit bougie. Yeah. Well, it's not getting told to sit outside by the boring old girl either. Yeah, okay, good.

The top six shenanigans to get up to at the museum on a first date. Number six, how about some fondling by the fossils? Mmm. Number six, how about some fondling by the fossils? This is kind of like a snail thing, I assume. I'm talking about the fossil, of course. Maybe not. Yuck. Number five on the list of the top six shenanigans to get up to at the museum on a first date. Tickles by the ticket booth.

Tickles. You're not even in yet. at the museum on a first date are tickles by the ticket booth. Ooh. Ooh. Tickles. You're not even in yet. But you're parted. The museum. You've got to start with tickles before you put it in. I mean tickets before you go in. Yes.

Is what I meant. But yeah, two rate-paying adults, please. Jesus. Number four on the list of the top six shenanigans to get up to at the museum on a first date. Getting jiggy in the geographical section. Geological section. It's been a long time since you've dated. Or been to a museum.

Oh, I can imagine all of these going down absolutely terribly. Tickles. Fondling. Fondling. Fondling, tickling and getting jiggy so far. Those are three hot moves. Yeah, definitely. Number three on the list of the top six shenanigans to get up to at the museum on a first date.

How about a wink behind the waka? This waka was made from a giant totara tree. Oh, damn, boy. You over there flirting with me behind a waka was made from a giant totara tree Oh damn boy You over there flirting with me behind a waka You know it That's how it would go on You're just going with alliteration aren't you Yep Wink was the safest option

Yeah Well you don't actually need to be on a date To have the other thing behind a waka You can do that by yourself Number two on the list of the top six shenanigans To get up to at the museum on a date to have the other thing behind the wall. You can do that by yourself. Number two on the list of the top six shenanigans to get up to at the museum on a first date.

Pashing in the Polynesian part. The Polynesian part. You know, there's this big history of Polynesia in there. That's the Polynesian part. Okay, great. So you can have a pash

in the Polynesian part. Okay, great. And number one on the list, the Polynesian part. Okay, great. And number one on the list of the top six shenanigans to get up to at the museum on a first date. Get intimate in the instruments. Oh, yeah. There's a collection of instruments at the Auckland Museum. Did you know that?

I did not actually know. Different sorts of instruments from different cultures from all over the world. And you could get intimate in there. If you want. Probably not actually. I don't know how much actual physical contacts encouraged on this singles night. And remember,

at the museum or anywhere, consensual fondling. Yes, obviously. Consensual tickling. Consensual getting jiggy. Consensual winking. And pashing behind the Polynesian part. And pashing in the Polynesian part should always be consensual tickling. Consensual getting jiggy. Consensual winking. And passion behind the Polynesian part. And passion in the Polynesian part should always be consensual. Absolutely.

100%. That's today's top six. Welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafe, for great barista-made coffee on the go. Oxytocin. It's lovely, isn't it? It's the love drug in the body. Yes, not to be confused with Oxycontin, which is a highly addictive drug.

Okay. Yeah, I'm talking about the hormone in the body. Is this what we're getting addicted to? Kind of, yeah. Okay. So science has found out that couples who do this one thing on the regular will become addicted to each other. So this is a good tip if you're trying to like get someone to really like you. Right.

It's cuddling. But it also can't overcome like if you don't like someone. Cuddle me. And you just cuddle them and they're like, I don't want this. And then that's not going to make the oxytocin release. Yeah. You've both got to have a release of oxytocin. So if they don't want to cuddle you,

like don't crack it out in an argument because it's probably just going to piss them off. But it does release oxytocin. It shows that you can regulate your cholesterol by hugging. It can actually be addictive and it brings you and your partner closer together. So you have even more reason to do more cuddles. But it can also add five years to a man's life.

Doesn't say anything about a woman's life. Because they live longer anyway. Yeah, cuddling can add five years to your life. Isn't oxytocin also the hormone that the body releases during childbirth to make it not as traumatic to remember? Oh, really? Or like right afterwards? Yeah, because if you remembered it in all of its detail.

You wouldn't do it again? No. Which is terrifying because you talk to some women about childbirth and they're like horrific. And you're like, plus you had oxytocin, so it must be even worse than what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, maybe they didn't get the full oxytocin. Maybe they got a half strength. Oxytocin light. We're on the release. So they can remember it a bit more like it was. Can you just get it like your wisdom teeth? They just knock you out and you wake up and you've got the baby. Is that an option?

It would be. Yeah, but I don't think that's the best for anybody. Oh, right. Okay. You wake up and they're handing you your child and you're like, I like it. Wow. I feel good. It just sounds a lot easier.

I don't know. But no. I mean, yeah, it does. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's a showcase of the five nominees for the Billy T Awards and we're joined in studio by one of them, Ray O'Leary. Good morning. Thanks for having me, guys.

No, an absolute pleasure. It's early for a comedian, isn't it? Yes, it's incredibly early. Normally I would be asleep, but thanks for having me. I'm not used to being a radio DJ, but thank you. I'm looking forward to playing some hits. I've got Boom Boom Power by the Black Eyed Peas

queued up. I don't have Spotify premium, but I'll accept a few ads. Listen to an ad? We've actually got that in the system that we can just play. Oh, that's great.

Well, you guys have premium. That's how we do it here. That's really impressive. In the big studios. Wow. So if you're not awake, what does a day look like? What does the average day of Ray O'Leary look like? Oh, so, I mean, yesterday I just went to the beach.

But normally I just, I guess I sleep in. I stay up too late playing video games. I wake up. I think I should go write some jokes. And so instead I have some food and then I basically just feel guilty for most of the day thinking I should write jokes and then

evening rolls around and obviously it's too late to start work and so then I either go do a gig or play video games. That's sort of roughly the day. I just always see you in a suit. I can't imagine you going to the beach. Oh yeah, I you in a suit. I can't imagine you going to the beach. Oh, yeah. No, I have a bathing suit.

A lot like this. Beach tie. Yeah, swim tie. Ready to go. So what were you doing before comedy? Before comedy, I've done a few jobs. I mostly worked at the government. So I've been like a policy advisor in Wellington. So I started comedy in Wellington and I had government jobs then.

And then I got nominated for the Billy T Award back in 2017. So I've already lost it once. So you're prepared for tonight then? Yeah, I'm absolutely prepared to lose again. Thank you. And then I moved up to Auckland about three years ago, I think. Right. So what was harder, comedy or being a government employee?

Look, I don't want to disparage every single government employee out there, but being a comedian is harder, I would say. Yeah, no, yeah, I think, oh, I don't know. It's a little, it depends on what you do. I think, but I mean, both jobs I found pretty, I mean, I just wasn't a good employee. I think that's what I'm trying to say. But I don't know, comedy is difficult.

It's kind of like being a uni student and that there's always work you could be doing and you have to be the one who drives it. So it's like I've set myself assignments for the rest of my life. Wow. Which isn't necessarily the dream for everyone. But, you know, it's been really good. And where do you get your content from?

Just everyday life? Yeah, I've found, I think looking at the material I've written, a lot of it is me seeing things that have annoyed me and then I just sort of sit on it or things that I think are silly and I sort of sit on it for a long time and then eventually I write some jokes. So like, you know, seeing a sponsored post from a celebrity or one time a woman came up to me and told me that she thought comedians were brave. So I guess things that I find ridiculous, I don't know,

I think that's sort of the vibe of my material as a rule. Right. And you're up against Brinley Stent, James Musselberg, Josh Davies and Lana Walters. Yes. Trash talk them or? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, no, no, they're all very funny.

They're all good friends of mine. This is terrible trash talk. Yeah, is this not what trash talk is? They're good people though. You'd be happy for any of them to win or are you backing one more than the others? So, I mean, I used to live with Josh Davies, but then he moved out.

So anyone but him. Did he leave some bills? No, I mean, no, no. He didn't leave some bills. Did he clean the shower before he moved out? Yeah, yeah. We used to have arguments about that no, no. He didn't leave some bills. Did he clean the shower before he moved out? Yeah, yeah. We used to have arguments about that, but no. So anybody but Josh.

Anyone but Josh. I'm willing to campaign on that. I don't mind if I lose. You take Josh down with you? I might not win, but as long as that damn Josh doesn't. Well, it's on tonight at the Classic. I think you can still get some tickets to the Billy T Jams if you want to head along would you like to introduce Black Eyed Peas

Boom Boom Pow just before you go we'll play it I know you guys had Charlotte Crosby on earlier in the week and I can see why you didn't get me sort of similar vibe but yes no coming up next on ZM we have Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas. Yes!

Is that it? Am I a radio DJ now? You are. You've actually graduated. But first, a few ads from Spotify. Yes, thanks to Save My Bacon, making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Executive Internania,

soundkeeper Gary is not in the studio. No, he's not. But he's blimmin' close. Have you got a hold of him? What's the story? I got a message at 6.48. F word. Alarm didn't go off.

Oh. Gary. Was his phone connected to a Bluetooth speaker? I got a message at 6.48 F word Alarm didn't go off Oh Yeah Was his phone connected To a bluetooth speaker We've all done this Actually I don't know If you've ever done this No

Well I have But I've got here before 6 Yeah right Before the show started Dawn and I have definitely done this Next time it happens to me I'm just going to turn my phone off By the way

It's very stressful And I don't need that in my life Look at what he did Yes He made it Jesus You look like an absolute POS Have you had a shower this morning?

Did you just literally leave Have I had a shower? Is that a bunning shirt? It's Carter's! I knew it had a timber supplying field hood. It had a tradie look to it, didn't it? All right, well, Soundkeeper Gary is here, which is fantastic news for you, Kelsey.

Good morning, Kelsey. Hi. All right, so $60,000 is the current jackpot. This is the sound. Gary, when he woke up this morning, he realised his alarm hadn't gone off. It would have been more like a F word, I mean. Yeah. Alright, Kelsey, for

$60,000 cash, what is it? So I think it's a bike pump inflating or deflating a tyre. You're out of breath, aren't you? Yeah. Hey, Kelsey. Hey.

I'm glad I made it, but also kind of a waste of time. That's not the secret. Sounds so brutal. I'm going to go back to sort my life out, if you don't mind. but also kind of a waste of time. That's not the secret. I'm going to go back to sort my life out if you don't mind. Maybe go downstairs and have a shower in the bike change room. Yeah. Ouch, what are you trying to say?

I need to freshen up, don't I? Sorry, guys. It's all right, mate. It's all right. You know, you're only human. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Want to talk now about when you've discovered that you have a sibling.

I would love to know if anybody has been in this situation when you've just found out maybe you've got a half-brother or sister. It happens all the time. I bet it happens all the time. I know people it's happened to, but I can't. It's not my story to tell on the radio to the nation. Will you tell us off here? Yeah, I'll tell you.

I'll tell us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy. But yeah, I imagine this happens all the time and it's happened to someone famous. Okay. And when you're famous and there's skeletons in your closet, even ones you don't know about,

the tabloids are there to ruin it for you. They are. So, Mousy, Sporty Spice from the Spice Girls. I thought you said Mousy. Mousy. Little Mousy. She has revealed in an interview that she does have a half-sister. So, the reason or the way.

Half-sporty. Half-sporty. The way she found out was that her dad was blackmailed by the tabloids. What? My dad had fathered a girl years before, but the relationship hadn't worked out and he hadn't kept in touch. A tabloid newspaper got hold of the story and basically said to my dad, either you tell her or we will. So he told me. So Malice didn't know about it?

No. Wow. Either you tell your daughter or we will. This is how bad the UK tabloids are. Like, that's personal. And then they wonder. They don't care. And then when the celebrities top themselves, they're like, oh, what a shame.

Yeah. We're so, our hearts go out to the families. Whose life we've been making. We're ruined. Hell. Yeah. Terrible. Yeah.

So basically, yeah, he got blackmailed. Not even for money. If I ever get blackmailed, it's for money. Or like, oh, no. Yeah, no. Because they want your money. Yeah, that's true. That doesn't work out.

What you were saying, if you do the blackmailing, it will be for money. Yeah. At least. Yeah. Okay, so you wanted to see If anybody's been In this situation themselves Yeah And like how later

How much later in life Did you find out That you have A sibling Because it's quite It's quite a big thing To omit Like I can imagine

Not wanting to tell Maybe younger kids Because maybe they can't Under Point at me Younger kids Whoa I've got nothing

I've got nothing to tell When are you going to Tell your kids Oh my god Imagine if there's one Out there that I don't know about Good point of me. Fledger, younger kids. Whoa, I've got nothing to tell. When are you going to tell your kids? Oh my God, imagine if there's one out there that I don't know about. They should be raised into the strictest circumstance. That genetic material shouldn't be wandering around. You know what I mean? Like some parents wait until their kids might be like 17, 18 or whatever,

a bit older, and then they can tell them things because they understand a bit more. But then wouldn't it be easier to tell when they're younger? A bit more forgiving maybe when they're younger. Yeah, and it's water off a duck's back. Kids are so adaptable when they're younger. And then it's not, when they get to 18, 19, they're like, oh my God, that's crazy. But like, it softens the blow.

Teenage years, it's something they'll just throw straight back in your face. Yeah. Yeah, I burnt the school down, Mum. It's because I had a half brother. Can I understand how people leave it though? Because kids are like,

don't understand. Teenagers will flip out and then when they get older, like, when's a good time? They won't come and visit you in the home. So you can't whenever really as a parent, I guess.

Or I'd wait until they were in their 20s and they wanted some money. Yeah. It's just, can I have a couple hundred bucks? You'd be like, okay, but you've got to be cool about something. Yeah, I'll be cool about it.

I just want to go to a bloody Chocofools festival. I don't have any money for. Yeah, but my original price would go up considerably. No, because you'd fall into the agreement. And they're like, yeah, I'll be cool about it. I just got to get to Chocofools. All my favorite bands are playing. Bloody Thermos Bottle. I wanted $100, now I want $1,000. And they're like, yeah, we're cool about it. I just got to get to Chocofools. All my favourite bands are playing.

Bloody Thermos Bottle and Undisclosed Greenhouse Plant's going to be there. Yeah, right. Lights on after sun up. So you'll do anything for Chocofools money. Chocofools, mate. It's going to be absolutely pinging. And I'll be cool, Mum. And Mum's like, you've got a half-brother. You're like, whew.

Good play, Mum. Good play. Bridgette, how did you find out you had a sibling? But there was a lot of word around our family that we had another sibling. Actually, three others. Yeah. From my dad's first partner. Oh, yeah.

Okay. And so we stalked them down, done our research, me and my sister. I'm 32 now. Yeah. When I was 16 is when we met him. Wow. We met him, because my dad's an Islander. So when we met my brother, Billy, we met themdonald's and he was looking for these big islander booty

ladies to walk in right um and it was skinny parkia girls that walked in and he was like really shocked thinking nah these are not my sisters and we were so happy like he's a splitting image of my dad we were like um yeah he was Wow. And so you had to do the research and track them down yourselves? Yeah, because my dad never told us. And then did you then confront your dad? I think we did, but he kind of just went all blank and was like, how did these girls find out? Like, who the hell told them?

Wow. I guess it's easier these days with social media and stuff. Well, yeah, it is. Well, somebody messaged in saying that they had a friend suggestion on Facebook, and they looked at them and they're like, man, that person looks like me. Messaged them, I don't know how Facebook knows, but it says we should be friends, don't you think we look alike? And they started digging, and they both found out that they were half siblings

that didn't know about each other. That's like some kind of doco or movie. I know. Bridget, thanks for your call. Tracy, how did you find out you had a sibling? So we were at Christmas dinner. We sat down. My grandma was here from South Africa.

And my dad just turned around and said, oh, by the way, remember that babysitter you had in primary school? She's actually the mum of your half-brother. He's going to be here tomorrow. That's not a by the way kind of thing. Wow. How by the way? Oh my God. And like instantly

were you like, well, we haven't got a Christmas present. Well, no. Instantly I was like, I'm sorry, I don't understand what's happening. Did your dad sleep with the babysitter and the boy was born, or was she already had the baby when she was babysitting you guys? No, no, no.

She was our babysitter first. Right, and he impregnated the babysitter. That's also like a movie. So that happens. So, yeah, short sort of 20-minute movie. Wow. And was the family happy about that? Well, my brother and I were sort of in shock.

Yeah. Yeah. And then we met him and he's a cool kid. But yeah, there's like 12 year age gap. So it's just really odd. Did your nana, your grandma from South Africa, did she know or was that the first time she found out? No, she found out too.

And was mum still on? Tempting fate there, telling a South African woman something that's shocking like that for the first time. Was mum still around? My mum or his mum? Your mum. Your mum. Because what, was she, did she know about this obviously? No, she didn't know

so I rang her afterwards because my parents are separated and I was like, oh, by the way. You need to stop starting shocking revelations with by the way, your family. If anyone in your family ever says by the way, I'm blocking my ears.

And how did mum take that news? Oh, she said, oh, your dad's always wanted three kids. So I guess he went and got his third one. Wow. And is he still with the babysitter? No, no, he's married to his now wife. Right.

Okay. And do they have a babysitter? No. Good Lord. Yeah. Daddy-o. Daddy-o. Wow. What a story. Tracy, thanks. Good Lord. Okay, yeah. Daddy-O. Daddy-O, wow. What a story. Tracy, thanks for your call.

Loretta, how did you find out you had a sibling? Well, quickly, long story short, was my, I didn't actually know my dad from about one till I was 17. Right. And then when I was 20, I moved up to Tauranga to live with him and his two kids. Yep.

And then at my 21st birthday, we were all quite, you know, drunk. And he announced to everyone at the party, including me, that he had three older children that he didn't know either. Three! And it's your day as well. It's your party. My party, my 21st, I'd given up spending it with my family that I'd known my entire life

and he announced it at my 21st. It was horrific. Did you ever meet your other siblings? No, he has no idea how to contact them or anything. Somewhere out there, I have two older brothers and an older sister that I have no idea who they are.

That's a private conversation at a quiet moment. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah. For another day, not at your big moment. All right, Loretta, thank you. These stories are insane. This one is, I think, probably my favorite. Mum was getting into genealogy and started watching YouTube videos about it, and there

was a reporter who was talking about how she'd done genealogy. She held up a picture of her grandfather and said, this is my grandfather. And my mum paused it and said, that can't be her grandfather because that's my father. She got in contact with the reporter and said, you're probably using a stock image to say your grandfather, but that's my father. And the reporter said, no, no, that's my actual grandfather.

And that's when my mum found out that her dad had other kids who now had kids. And one of them was a TV reporter. That's so crazy. Yeah, and one of them was a reporter doing a story on, like, what are the chances? I know. Wow.

There are so many unbelievable stories. My dad saw this kid at the hot pools once, and he's like, man, that kid looks like me. And he said, when I was younger, I always suspected that one of my girlfriends got pregnant. I just never heard from her. I was cut off from the family and everything. Surely enough, a few years later,

that exact kid turned up at our house. Well, I guess you've saved on child support. Well, another one about that. When my mum got a letter from the IID asking if the child support for my 17-year-old brother could be reduced due to my dad having another child.

That was when we found out that dad had other kids. Wow. I had my DNA tested and this must be like at Ancestry.com or something. And it came back that I had a really close match

and it turned out I had four sisters and a brother and it came back that I had a really close match. And it turned out I had four sisters and a brother. And a biological dad that I didn't know about. Whoa. Yeah, I never thought about that. That website would be a shock for a lot of people. Yeah. Wouldn't it?

Somebody said we found out that mum had a daughter that she'd given up because it turned out mum got sick and it was a hereditary illness. So she felt she needed to get in touch with her daughter that she'd given up for adoption. Right. That she'd never told any of us about, about the sickness. And obviously needed to tell us about it as well. And that's when we found out we had an older sister that we didn't know about. But then imagine your birth mum reaching out and saying,

it's, you know, hi, I'm your birth mum. You're like, oh my God. By the way, you're probably going to die of something. Yeah, there's a journey. You know what I mean? Like that's a double whammy of, that's horrible. Very confronting. After dad died, mum told us he had a son who was adopted out.

Then after she died, we found out about two more. Wow. Wow. Thank you for your text messages. Amazing. So many coming in. And we couldn't get to them all. Apologies for that.

Some amazing stories there. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Well, this year was the year that my wife and I decided that our children should start playing sport. We've got away with it for so long. The reason they haven't is because you guys don't want to give up our weekends. I saw a news story about that we were trying to get more kids into sport because there's less and less

going and I said, I was like, oh yeah, that's like, Bonnie just can't be bothered taking them in the weekends. Do you think that that's why less and less kids are going? I remember we'd work all week to get us sleeping or not have to rush out of the house on a Sunday morning.

And Sunday morning, that's two out of seven. Your mum and dad would just drop us at cricket or rugby and then that's it. They weren't staying. No, my parents bought a house by the netball court, so I just walked. Hot play. Hot play from them. Hot play. But anyway, I've found a loophole.

Okay. Because you may know that I spent some time as a representative hockey player. Well, and this is, we've gone over this. The only reason you were a rep hockey player is because your mum was the coach. Well, that's, you know, what came first? Chicken or the egg? Was I in the team

before she was coach or was she coach before I was in the team? We don't know. And I guess we never will. But, pretty keen to get, this was, this is by the way how my mum plays as well for team. We don't know. And I guess we never will. But pretty keen to get. This is by the way how my mum plays as well. For Indy's birthday she just got Indy a hockey stick and was like, well now you've got the kit.

Guess you have to play hockey. And the good thing is, it's a weeknight. It's not a weekend. It's not going to encroach on that sweet weekend territory. Yeah, right. She makes reps or something. Does she want to play hockey though? That's going to go well. Oh, yeah. Does she want to play hockey, though?

Yeah, well, that was the thing last weekend. We took the old stick and ball. Probably has a catchier thing if you're in the hockey industry. I don't know. Does it? I don't know. Stick and ball. The old hoop and orb something.

No. Anyway, we had a whack around. She really enjoyed it. Okay. She hasn't been hit in the knuckles by a ball yet or like. In the shin. Yeah, got a shin. Got a shin ball yet or anything like that.

A hockey stick in the gooch. That'll drop you. That will certainly drop you. Yowchies. Has that happened to you? That seemed very specific. I was just imagining hockey injuries. So we have registered.

Yep. The school, I asked. I said, oh, what's the deal with a hockey team? Because they've got a turf, so I assume there's a team. And I said, what's the deal? They've got a turf. Yeah, most schools have turf. But it's like a multi-purpose turf now. Right.

It's like a netball, tennis. I remember we had to fundraise for years to get a turf. Oh. But now everyone's got a turf. Every Tom Dickin primary school's got a turf. So we went down there, had a round. They said, yeah, registrations are open. So that was yesterday. And I was registering her and it got to the bottom and one of the

last questions was, would you be interested in coaching the side? And it was yes, no or if there's nobody else. That was an option on the board. If there's nobody else. Isn't that the greatest parent option ever? Because that's how parents always get wound. Yeah. If there's nobody else. Isn't that the greatest parent option ever? Because that's how parents always get wound into stuff.

If there's nobody else, I suppose I can help. Yeah, right. And there's never anybody else. No, because they always use an extra pair of hands. Yeah. So I ticked that one. If there's nobody else. Rate yourself.

This is a rate yourself moment, isn't it? But then it was like, do you want to be manager? And that feels too organise-y. Oh, yeah, that's too organise-y for you. I would do that. You'd be a good coach. Because there's no coaching. Do you want to be manager? And that feels too organise-y. Oh, yeah, that's too organise-y for you. I would do that. You'd be a good one. Because there's no coaching. Oh, no.

Sounds horrible. Okay, well. What can I do then if your coach, he's manager? Uniforms. Okay, I'm down. No, that's under my, if I'm manager, that's my jurisdiction. Is that your jurisdiction? Yeah, she can be catering.

Oh, I can do that too, yeah. Because where they play is not far from the cafe. Okay, great. Bring oranges. Do they still do oranges at halftime? Is that a thing? Bring donuts and stuff. Donuts at halftime.

They're like, time to go out and play. They're like, I ain't too quickly. I'm going to be one of those managers, like, you know, the football managers in the UK. I'll be in the media.

Like, if a player's not doing well, I'll trade them with another team. Oh, you're going to trade? Yeah. I thought because your extracurricular activities would leak to the media. That's why. I was going to try and take our team down. You're right. Shrag.

So then I said to Sade, I've told her what I've done, and she's like, I don't know if that's a good idea. She's like, you're famously not very patient with other people's children. Yeah. Like, mine, you're famously not very patient with other people's children. Yeah. Like mine, I've got all patience for them, but other people's children. Yeah. And I said, yeah, but if they're not listening, I'll just make them do. Push-ups.

Yeah, push-ups and laps. And she's like, they're eight. I was like, yeah, well, they'll learn to listen. They'll have the biggest guns. Yeah. With all those push-ups. With all those push-ups. Yeah.

Hitting the field with the big guns. You've got to be fit as well. You've got to be fit. We'll be doing lots of shuttle runs. Oh, yep. Okay, and that's intimidating, right? Yeah, hitting the field with the big guns. You've got to be fit as well. You've got to be fit. We'll be doing lots of shuttle runs. Oh, yep. Okay, good. So in my mind now, I probably won't get asked. And then I'll be a little bit disappointed because I've already worked out the training regime. Just shuttle runs. Lots of shuttle runs. Make them do the beep test.

Oh, God. And if they don't get past level 11, they're not in the team. 11? I never got past past level 11, they're not in the team. 11? I never got past 11. Well, you're not in the team. That's why you're in catering. Andy's a good runner.

But what are you going to do if you thought about what if she's, like, not very good? Well, that's why I'm coaching the team. I know. Could you imagine having a kid and they're terrible at sport like I was? I remember that time I scored a try on the sideline. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mum and Dad were just like, what's going on here? I was going to say, ask either of your two parents.

Okay, they're bullcots. But it would be like, you would just fade them down when you're out of the team. You'd just slowly. Daddy, why aren't I playing today? Oh, we're just going to stay at home. Warm the seat. You're really good at cheering them on. And then I'm going to coach and I'm like, you just stay at home today.

You're all right. You just stay at home. No, look, I haven't got the gig, but if I do get it, we're going to need some corporate sponsorship. Okay, right. We're going all in with uniforms. Sky City. You need a coach hat. Sky City.

Sky City. I'd probably have to be 18 plus. I'd say they probably wouldn't be willing to advertise on the backs of eight-year-olds. Lion Nathan, though. Let's get a brewery on board. They've always got advertising money. Yeah, Rothmans. Well, the cigarette industry, why haven't they been advertising lately?

I don't know. Vaping? No, and that's bad now, too. But there's no rules. What about a nice RTD vodka? Yeah. The kids running around with, like, a nice vodka on their back. Yeah, that's a good sponsorship.

Well, as manager of one, I'll certainly be looking for these corporate opportunities. Yeah, well, no, that's great. I'm pleased to have you on board. Thanks for coming on board with your organisational skills. You're welcome. I'll be taking a cut, though, of the corporate deal. Right.

Well, as payment. I'm assuming this is a paid gig. Oh, no, I assume they would just be paying us with the uniforms. They give us the money for the uniforms. Yeah, they're just paying. Oh, no, I'll be clipping the ticket. You've worked in corporate sponsorship before. Well, I must be getting paid something, surely.

The joy of seeing children's faces, not really what you get paid in. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Let's quickly go around the room. Who, when they post an Instagram story, looks at it just by yourself over and over again? How? When do you say over and over? Like, how many times? Well, you're either going to post a story and leave it there and not look at it again,

or you're going to occasionally, from time to time, in the 24 hours it's up on your Instagram, just keep looking at it. I definitely re-look at it. Why? So I'll re-look at it to be like, was that as fun or entertaining as I thought it was? And you look through and you're like, okay, also not too long, good stuff.

And then later I might go back and reminisce on this. And then sometimes I go home and I'm like, um, did you see my story today? Mr. Toyboy. My husband will be like, no. I'll be like, okay, well, should we watch it? Does he get in trouble if he- Shall we watch it? Does he get in trouble if he hasn't seen your story?

No, because he's busy. Okay. What if- Okay, what if you say, have you seen my story today? And he'll say, no, I haven't. And so he pulls out his phone to watch it and he skips through a couple of them. Oh, no skipping. It's like when I hear you, like you don't turn the sound off

and I hear you skipping through my freaking story. Yeah, but he was here for it. Yeah, but you've also told, Fletch has told me off for skipping through his stories too. He's like, what are you doing? When we were in the car once. Skip, that's quality content. He was like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm just skipping through.

I was literally with you as it happened. I'm on a plane somewhere and we get there and the other end and he's uploaded some like cute pics or whatever. Or be like, look at my account on a plane. And I'm like, oh yeah, I was there for that. So I don't need to watch it. Okay.

I still get told off. Producers, Intern Anya, Executive Intern Anya, do you re-watch your stories over and over? Not that often Okay I reckon I do the posts more Like if I put up a selfie I'm like Oh yep still cute

Still cute Still cute Mountie At the social media desk Yep guilty Just to make sure That it's the quality content That everyone deserves

Yeah And like was it as funny Yeah As I originally thought Right Georgia Oh always I do pretty much Everything I put up Instant regret For most of them But then also like and like was it as funny as I originally thought. Right, Georgia? Oh, always. I do it with pretty much everything I put up. Instant regret for most of them,

but then also like when I've done my cooking competitions, that was fire. So of course I'm going to re-watch that. Well, a journalist has asked, a journalist has asked a psychologist why we do this. Now, Dr. Alison Forte, she is a professor of counselling at a university. She says the tendency to watch our own content may be partially explained by a psychological concept called the looking glass self,

which says that people's sense of self is rooted partially in how they feel they're perceived by others. So if you apply that to Instagram stories, it's possible that people are viewing how they look and what they said or did to inform their self identity. That just explains social media through and through, doesn't it? Yeah. So she says, for example, if they watch a story where they determine they look good, were funny

or thoughtful, and others would probably rate them positively, they might repeatedly view that story to reinforce a positive aspect of their identity. Is that a form of narcissism? I don't know. Assuming people will love this, so you can watch it even without thinking

or hearing that other people love it and being like, people will love this and convincing yourself that they loved it and then you feed off that. That's interesting. Is that what everyone does? I don't really, unless someone asks a question, because you know how people love spotting weird details. that they loved it and then you feed off that. That's interesting. Is that what everyone does? I don't – unless someone asks a question because, you know,

people love spotting weird details in stories. Yeah, right. What was that behind the 18th person at the 74th second? And you go and you finally like, oh, that was a tree. Well, I don't know, but what does that say to you? I'm a narcissist. I wasn't denying it. what does that say to you? I'm a narcissist. I wasn't denying it. Everyone knows that I am.

Yeah, according to psychology today, narcissists do know they're narcissists. I just Googled that. Right, okay. Good. But then also, you don't have all the hallmarks of a narcissist. Thank you. In fact, reading this status-seeking, grandiose, loudmouthed, brashash and flamboyant could be describing.

Definitely you. Oh, that's not nice. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. My husband and I are going to something together, which I've never been to this with him before. In fact, I've never even been to one where there's been a guy. So we're going to both go to a hen's party together.

Let me explain. So he's going to be a hen. He's a bridesman. Right. So he's helping organise the hens, which he's like, this is an insight. Yeah. Because he's part of the bridal party. You had a groomswoman, didn't you?

I did. I did. But she didn't come to the... Yes, she did. Because he's part of the bridal party. You had a groomswoman, didn't you? I did. I did. But she didn't come to the... Yes, she did. Did she? She did. That's right. She loved it.

It was fun. That's right. Megan's husband passed out. First husband. Yeah. Thank you for all the photos that I received. Not a problem. So, yeah, he's going to come along to the hens,

but he's also a little bit gutted because that means the stag and the hens are on the same night. So he doesn't get to go to the stag. Okay, give me a rundown. Is there a time where he could dip out of the hens and attend the stags? Because he could get the best of both worlds.

There is a time where he can dip out of the hens, but the stags is very much orchestrated all day of fear where he can't easily dip into that. Right. So he's a little bit upset and he's also

not entirely sure that all of the stuff going on in the hens party is for him. Because there's aspects of a hens party I'd like,

like one of those lavish ones where it's spa day, massage, pedicure, pedi-many, mani, mani pedi. I'm down for all that. The male stripper rubbing his G-string up against you. 100%.

Yeah, you'd love all of that. Love all of it. Yeah. But then the male stag do is quite a lot of fun. Yep. Yeah. So there's aspects of that that you could then enjoy at a later time. But also now I'm like, does that mean I have to behave myself?

Like I have to be good now. Not that I would be, but you know, you just have to like, I don't know. It's a weird one. It's 100%. I'm not going to be bad in the sense that, you know, you're like going to pash the stripper or something. Yeah, but like, yeah, the boys, yeah, the girls. Lads, lads, lads. Lads, lads, lads.

Lads, lads, lads. Yeah. And it's one thing having, like, a guy there. Yeah. But, like, having your partner there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then you can't, like, slap that ass when the stripper's, you know, motioning that sweet buttocks towards you.

Am I going to get an eye roll when I get wasted? When I have a few wines? Yes. Aunty Megan's out. It'll be. Aunty Megan will be out in force. Yeah. Right, okay.

Well, I don't know if I will be though because, yeah, it's very interesting. I would encourage a transition from Hen's Party to Stag Do for Mr. Toyboy. Okay. Before you get to the strip club. Pre-closed individuals. Assuming there is a strip club, is there? Not on the cards. Right, okay.

No. You don't want to leave a paper trail. There's absolutely no way I would go and watch a stripper with a... Can you remember that time we had a topless waiter in the studio? Remember how much trouble I got with that? But maybe it was because he wasn't here. You've got to try these things. If you're both here, maybe it's something...

I would have to sit there quietly and not... And pretend he's ugly. You'd have to pretend you're not looking. Yeah. Oh, yuck. I'd not make any comments. How degrading. Yeah, you're like, oh, yuck.

But, you know, this is his job. He's not a piece of meat. So I'd better tuck some money in his undies. Making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Soundkeeper. I got an air bubble in my ear. Yeah, that sounded like, it was weird.

I think my headphones had half popped out. Thanks to Save My Bacon. Thanks to Save My Bacon. Soundkeeper Gary slept in this ear. Yeah, that sounded like it was weird. I thought my headphones had half popped out. Thanks to Save My Bacon. Thanks to Save My Bacon. Soundkeeper Gary slept in this morning. Hey guys, good news too. What? It's Mufti Day.

Woohoo, Mufti Day. Casual Friday. That's why you're wearing your suit at home. Yeah, Mufti Day. I forgot my gold coin. Damn it. I'll bring it next time.

Do they still do a gold coin donation for Mufti days? Yeah Who's given two dollars? You always give one And then you can use the other dollar to Yes

Something at the cafe The tuck shop Cafe What do you call it? Did you just call it a canteen? Canteen You just called it so bougie it had a cafe I used to dinner and have a coffee at playtime

Yeah Alright our secret sound Deborah you've got through Good morning Deborah Good morning Alright so our secret sound. Deborah, you've got through. Good morning, Deborah. Good morning. Alright, so we're at $60,000. That's our jackpot. This is the secret sound. And that $60,000

is all yours if you can correctly tell us that secret sound. Okay. Well, my guess is actually opening a yoghurt lid. so pulling back the lid. Okay. Oh, that's a really good guess.

Sometimes they do. Yeah, they make a little pop. Have you heard those ones where you end up with yogurt on your face because it has quite an explosive pop when you peel the lid off? Sounds a bit like that might be past its best. Or you're opening your yoghurt very fast. Just calm down. Yeah. Now, we released a new clue yesterday on Save My Bacon's Instagram page.

I believe you've gone and seen that. Is that right, Debra? I have. What did you take out of the clue? So, I guessed that it was maybe a Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode. Okay. And so, I did watch that last night. Okay.

You watched the whole thing? I zoomed through it. Right, okay. Fast forward. Well, Debra. Yeah. That is not what the secret sound is. What a shame. That is not what the secret sound is.

What a shame. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Let's go back. Friday Flashback. Flashback, Flashback. So this song's actually from, the album is from 1995. The song was released in 1996. Massive, iconic album.

And when I looked into how it charted in New Zealand, I only got to place number three. It went gold though. Okay. In New Zealand. It was a long, it was a long burn. One of those albums

that didn't rocket up the charts. Just in there for years. But yeah, and gave us so many stonking singles. Number one in the US, number one in Spain, Canada, and that's it. Wow, okay. Which, when I tell you what it is, Yeah Stonking singles Number one in the US Number one in Spain Canada

And That's it Wow okay Which when I tell you what it is It's very surprising Also The reason I thought This would be a great song to do

Is because The artist has announced They're coming to New Zealand Which is You looked at tickets eh Yeah because This album is one of my wife and I's Agreed upon Best albums of all time Like, eh? Yeah, because this album is one of my wife and I's agreed upon best albums of all time.

Ooh. Like, we have come, yeah, we love this album. And I believe the concert will feature the whole album. So are you going to go? It's very expensive is all. When will you ever see? Could you sell your electric gate, maybe? Pay for it.

You just can't sell an electric gate. Oh, I just love bringing it up. Like, tickets right at the back are $120. Oh, that's all right. Then just do that. You'll get that for your gate. But then I'll never be able to get back into my house. How much is it for right at the front?

$377 for a floor seat that's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine rows back. An estimate would have been all right there. You'll get that for your gate. A couple of those up the front. Okay, I found a bit of a closest and it's $427. Oh, okay. Holy mackerel. Yeah.

Worth it. Taking this tour to the bank. Remember when she was engaged or married to? Engaged to Ryan mackerel. Yeah. Worth it. Taking this tour to the bank. Remember when she was engaged or married to? Engaged to Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a wee hint. Today's Friday flashback is Alanis Morissette, Ironic.

Such a good song. Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. See, why don't you pay 400 bucks for it? Get it here for free. See you then. Old man, turn 98. You won the lottery and died the next day. It's a black fly in your chardonnay.

It's a death row pardon Two minutes too late And isn't it ironic Don't you think? It's like rain On your wedding day It's a free ride When you've already paid It's the good advice

that you're just in take And who would have thought it figures Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase kissed his kids goodbye He waited his suitcase, kissed his kids goodbye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

As the plane crashed down, he felt, well isn't this nice? And isn't it ironic? Don't you think? It's like raining on your wedding day. It's a free ride on your wedding day. It's a good advice that you just didn't take. And who would have thought it figures? When you leave this fun quarry, no singing about you. Who would have thought it'd be this? Life is a funny way.

No swinging a bone. Everything's okay. And everything's going right. And life is a funny way. No swinging a bone. And everything's going right. And everything blows up in your face. Traffic jam when you're already late.

And no smoking sign on your cigarette break. It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. It's meeting the man of my dreams And then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic? Don't you think? A little too ironic And yeah, I really do think

It's not great On your wedding day It's like rain on your wedding day. It's a free ride on your wedding day. It's the good advice that you just didn't take. And who would have thought it figures? It figures And you Life is a funny way To get up on you Life is a funny, funny way

Alanis Morissette, your Friday Flashback on ZM. Bleach, Vaughan and Megan, I've just googled how much do electric gates cost in New Zealand. According to Mark from Insol Gates, around $7,000 will get you an installed driveway gate. Jesus. That's a couple of them. I hope mine doesn't break.

It's not getting replaced. Maybe a fully automated pedestrian gate will cost around $2,500, so you could easily sell your electric gate and get tickets to Alanis Morissette. It's secondhand. What is that for the secondhand market? What's the secondhand electric gate market? It doesn't even exist.

I don't know, mate. Wouldn't even. I'm just trying to help you. I don't know how much you want to get to Alanis Morissette. Yeah. And yeah.

Okay. Well, feedback on that Friday flashback. Banger. I got a look of judgment from my daughter in the car, but she's also impressed that I smashed out

the whole song word for word. Yeah. Oh yeah, okay. And you've just introduced the next generation to a classic, so Yeah. Someone said, oh my God, I know they don't call it Standard 4 anymore, but I'm getting all the Standard 4 feels.

Standard 4! Oh, please! It was before the forms begun. Yeah. Yeah, somebody said, at the time I really enjoyed this song, but now that I've studied English, I'm deeply disappointed at most of these not being ironic. Yeah.

Someone's got a famous stand-up comedy gag about that. Ed Byrne? Yeah. Is it Ed Byrne that does it? I think so. I know he's done some Alanis Morissette stuff that's very, very funny. Great choice. Amazing choice.

And someone said, you're one chance and you didn't play You Oughta Know. And I said, we've already played it. Yeah, we had that. I remember that and if you listen to the show every single day every single minute you would have known that

so really look at yourself SMH who's SMH-ing now yeah it's us alright good

feedback all positive feedback all positive feedback All positive feedback Someone said their electric gate Was under a grand But they did have to do The install themselves Okay well there you go

I'm sure You might have a cheap one though Because it does open slowly And sometimes it skips off the rail Yeah I know And rather than fix the rail I just I just bent something else

You could at least get one Alanis Morissette ticket I'm sure I'll just go by myself. That'll be an easy explain. And then when I get home, the electric gate will be slammed shut and nailed shut and I'll never be allowed in again. Flesh for an Amegan, the podcast.

ZM. Yesterday, the Smith Fano were in the car and Shade said, stop in here, I just need to grab something. Okay. And so we stopped in and as we were pulling in, we saw that the bike shop next door, my daughter said, there's a Husky in that shop. Oh, okay. And she loves Huskies.

So we looked at getting Huskies when we got Ralph, but then. They're hard work, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Ralph's hard enough work. Yeah. But Huskies. Yeah. And I think.

They're advanced to all going to level, aren't they? Yeah. And people rush into buying them, especially after Game of Thrones, and have no idea what they've got themselves in for. Yeah. So we thought rather than being those people that are like, we're putting our beloved Husky up for adoption. Who wants him?

No problem. Yeah. No problem. We just appreciate everybody else's Huskies and everybody else that's doing a great job raising huskies Yeah So while Sade went into the store We went into the bike store

No intention of purchasing bike and or bike accessories Just to pet the husky Wow But then we were petting the husky And I thought better make it look like Yeah right So then I got a good chat on electric bikes Okay And how they're a great commuter option for people that work in the city Better make it look like I'm... Yeah, right. So then I got a good chat on electric bikes.

Okay. How they're a great commuter option for people that work in the city but live in Kiumiu. I was like, bloody four o'clock in the morning now, mate. Yeah, okay, no, good chat. Good chat. But I was impressed with the selection of electric bikes. And some of them don't even look like electric bikes anymore. Because you were telling me he was saying about some lady

that gets in faster than being stuck in traffic. Yeah, she used to drive into the city. She times it now. She can get in way quicker. But wait, do you go on the motorway? For the first bit,

you go on Sado OS16 and then you get on the bike path. Oh, okay. Yeah, you get on. Okay, cool. He could also be making that up to make you buy an e-bike. Yeah.

Actually, now that I think about it. It didn't work because I was in there primarily on husky padding duties. It's a better husky. But yeah, we padded a lot of huskies work because I was in there primarily on husky padding duties. It's a better husky. But yeah, we padded a lot of huskies. Right.

Well, just the one husky but we padded the husky a lot. Were the husky owners okay with this? I'm sure they're used to it. He said, oh, you like that, do you? To the kids about the husky and Indy's like,

yeah. And he's like, free to a good home and Indy looked at me and I was like, no. It's a joke. It's this man's beloved pet.

He's just joking around. Yeah. And no, we can't take the husky home. Yeah, right. But it got me to thinking because Sade was appalled with this, by the way.

Was she? She wouldn't come in and pet the husky. What? I would have. She was like, you don't go into a shop unless you're going

into that shop for the purpose that that shop serves. Because what, she thinks the staff get excited there's a sale. Yeah. And so she doesn't

want to upset them. Yeah. Okay. But dog owners love that when someone's like, oh my God, I want to go out of my way to pet your dog.

To pet the dog. Yeah, it's pretty cute, eh? And I was, honestly, I was two steps further up the e-bike ladder than I was when I went in. Yeah, right.

I just thought, yeah, but I wasn't on the ladder but now I'm two steps up. It's a big ladder though, so it's a long way to the top. Yeah. I don't think I'm climbing it any further. We want to know when you've gone into a store with no intention of shopping

and the reason you've gone into that store. Some very funny text messages and calls coming in. Someone said, I was 42 weeks pregnant and I was living in Brisbane in the peak of summer. Okay. If the kids were playing sport near a group of shops that happened to have a lazy boy on it with air con, I would be in trying out all the lazy boys, reclining them for five to 10 minutes in each chair, relaxing my pregnant feet and enjoying that sweet, sweet air con.

It's not worth the hassle from the people trying to sell you a lazy boy though, is it? Unless you just say, just looking. You know, you just do that. Just looking. Just browsing. Just having a look. Thanks. Yeah,

and that kind of keeps them away, doesn't it? Yeah. Okay. Well, let's take some calls. Melanie,

when have you gone into a shop not for shopping? I had to go to Farmer's and with my three-year-old and we'd just go up and down the escalators. Because the kids

love the escalators. Oh, he loved it. It was just his best thing ever. It was adorable. And people would wave at him going down and then we'd just get up and go up again. Oh my God. We're just going up and down. I look forward to the years ahead of you of telling him not to play on

the escalators. But it was all right. He sits down there. He's an expert. He's an expert now. He'll sit down on it. No, no, no, no, no. There's no sitting on the escalators. No it was all right. He sits down now. He's an expert. He's an expert now. He'll sit down on it. No, no, no, no, no. There's no sitting on the escalators. No, it's staying.

He gets a game. Oh, no, he's an expert. He knows. He's very careful. Yeah, you've got to get up before it gets to the flatbed. It's exhilarating. He's four and a half now,

so he's got it down. You get a T-shirt caught in that, the greater the error. Okay, we'll stop sitting down. Yeah, see? You should show him the video of that time. Okay, we'll stop You should show in the video of that

escalator swallowing the people in China. Oh yeah, that's great for a four in the world.

Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll maybe wait a couple of years, Mel. You're right,

Mel. Sure. Alright, Lucy, when did you go into a store not for shopping?

Yeah, so I work at a fast food restaurant in the middle of a mall. Okay. And there's this really cute boy that will come in like every so often.

And he works at the pack and save on the other side of the mall. Okay. Every so often he'll order food and like I'll guess his order so I would be able to serve his food. And then every so often I'll also in the weekend I'll go into pack and save to see if he's there. And he's usually on, the fruit and vegetables. So I'll go over and buy some, like, bok choy or some carrots, just so I can just go next to him. Lucy.

I'll just go there when he's packing something out and be like, do you have any rocket or something? I'll just go. No, because often they don't have it, so you need something that he's going to be like, I'll just go check for you. Okay, yeah. I'll try that the next time. Yeah.

So this is ongoing. This is currently happening. Oh, yeah. It's been going on for like the past nine months. Do you know what his name is? You've got to... Let's make a move, Liz. Let's make a move.

I don't know his name yet, though, so I still have to figure that out. Imagine finding love in the produce department. Can't you slip him like extra chappies in his order next time? Yeah, I'll write my name number on like a napkin or something. Yes! Yes! Yes!

But do we know if he's got a girlfriend? I haven't worked that out yet. Who cares? Oh, Lucy, are you going to see him this weekend? Um, I am working Sunday, so hopefully. Okay, we're invested now, Lucy. We need regular updates on this.

Okay. Is there any way, Lucy, like, he might be listening and maybe he's in the same sort of situation. Like, what city are you in? Auckland. Okay, that's a big city, though. That's a big city. 10, 20 pack and saves to go. But I'm just trying to think of a mall with a, it's in Auckland. That's a big city though. That's a big city. 10, 20 pack and saves to go.

But I'm just trying to think of a mall with a pack and save in it. Yeah, right. Am I allowed to say or not? Yeah. Oh, Royal Oak Mall. Royal Oak Mall. So if you work in produce and you're a cutie at Royal Oak Pack and Save.

Oh, but hold on. Hold on because what if someone calls up and they're not the cutie? What if they're like, I'm pretty cute, I work in produce. And we're like, you're not. You're not who we're after. Okay, I reckon, Lucy,

you've got to just get a napkin and write your number on it for him. Okay. Or just start small and do like a little smiley face. Or can you draw a smiley winky face on the napkin? See if he keeps coming back.

No, just like wheel them in. I don't think you can be working in a fast food restaurant and put your number. It's like patient doctor thing. You're not allowed to do that. No, it's definitely not on the level of patient doctor confidentiality. You're not allowed to do that. You're a vulnerable client.

It's frowned upon. Oh my god, I'm so invested. I've completely forgotten what we were talking about. Lucy, Lucy, oh, there's text messages coming in apparently. Lucy, wait there. We're going to put you on hold and if you could give the executive intern our new year details. We need to keep up with this.

Oh, there's guesses coming in as to who this could be. Oh, really? Yeah, people saying that they know of a couple of cuties that deal with the spuds and the carrots. Prodgeuse. But also, like, let's just calm down because this guy could have a girlfriend. Yeah, who's obviously doesn't come and see him at work

or go to, like, lunch with him on his break. So, like, who is this bitch? And does she deserve him? Like, oh, my God. Lucy, wait there. Some more text messages. So it's time to say you've just got into a store, but not for shopping.

Somebody said, in Bali, my boyfriend said, I've got you something. You're getting a manicure and a pedicure today. I was like, oh my God, that's so nice. It turns out he just wanted an excuse to go and sit on the floor and have the two puppies in that store sleep on his lap for a few hours. Oh, that'd be cute. That's cute.

But that's pretty great. But see, you could be onto something, puppies in stores, to lure customers. Yes his lap for a few hours. Oh, that'd be cute. That's cute. But that's pretty great. But see, you could be onto something, puppies in stores, to lure customers. Yes. It's a good idea. Yeah. A bit rude to go into a store with no intention to purchase or even to inquire. Oh, I'm sorry. As we're hearing, people have reason.

Yeah, someone got lured into a store by Sonny Bill Williams. Oh, okay. Who went into the store just ahead of them. I had to make out like I was interested in men's shirts. Who was I with? We were at the supermarket and we were all like, oh, it's Sonny Bill Williams. And you're my friend whose gaze I didn't know who he was. We were just like, okay, don't worry.

Who doesn't know who Sunny Bill Williams is? Some people, apparently. They just... Take back their gay licence. Do they not remember when Dr. Deer had to pull his shirt off at the Rugby World Cup in 2011? Yeah. I don't think they were watching that.

Shallow. Executive Internania, you've got an update. Pack and Save Hottie. The Pack and Save Hottie in the protest department that our caller was into. Yes. She goes out of her way to go to the protest. Lucy. Yeah, Lucy.

So somebody texted in with a guess of who Mystery Man could be. Right. And we have got her on the phone. Oh, is she right there now? Correct. Anonymous is on the phone. Anonymous is she right there now? Correct. Anonymous is on the phone. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning.

Hello. Now, do you know who this could be? Well, my mate's son works there. Yeah. And there's not too many hotties at Royal Oak Packers Day. Oh, is he calling you by the name of a hottie? Hey, that's your opinion, Anonymous, I'm sure. There's a lot of attraction. Right. Okay, now, do we know, is he single at the moment? Hey, that's your opinion, Anonymous, I'm sure.

There's a lot of interest. Right. Okay, now, do we know, is he single at the moment? Oh, look, I don't know. Oh, my guess, like, he's about 17 or 18, so it sounded like it might have been the right sort of age range. Right. Not 100% sure on his relationship status. Oh, okay, because, yeah, we've got to be careful there.

We don't want to upset the rock, the boat. The GF. The GF, exactly. All the B, we've got to be careful there. We don't want to upset the, rock the boat. The GF, exactly. Or the BF. Thank you very much, Anonymous. We'll leave it into Executive Inter and Andy there to track down this modern day love story.

Modern day. We're going to work on this. We found love. I need to know who this is. In the produce place. No, not for me. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. I was slightly inconvenienced by about a minute by a couple of tourists yesterday at the dairy. So we're about to hear about it. He's launched a day-long investigation into why one minute was sliced from his precious time. This is obviously our in-studio Lowry David. Fletch is inconvenience in the most minor fashion

and he'll inconvenience himself for days over it no but I was actually fascinated and I was like okay well you look we need all the tourists we can get at the moment with Corona

and you know flights being cancelled willy nilly so I'll let them have a minute in this area but it was weird it was weird because I was at the dairy

and I was just buying some snacks as you do and the lady behind the counter was like okay sorry just sorry, just wait, wait one sec, I'll come back. And she went to the back room and then she came back with a couple of suitcases. And then she had to go back because she'd forgotten another bag. And I was like, why does a dairy have suitcases? Yeah, that's weird. It's weird, right?

That's weird. And I've heard about some of these bodies. Primo. They're smuggling Primo. No, it's Primo. Primo. Blue top milk. Chocolate milk.

Chocolate milk. It's code. I'd heard of some of these apps and I thought, because I got to the bottom of it. I've got to the bottom of it. And I've heard of these apps and I cannot believe I haven't been using this in my travels. Because, you know, I'm all about the apps that are great for travelling.

Like Tripper. That's the best travel app. The itinerary. to put all of your stuff into one itinerary um Stasher so they've got locations you sign up as a host if you've got a business like a hotel or a dairy or anywhere with some space you sign up and you store people's bags and luggage because you know with Airbnbs now the worst part about it is, unlike a hotel, you can't just check out at 10am and leave your bag in the lobby, come back, then get your flight. Where do you put your bags? Where do you put your bags? Because the hosts for Airbnb are like, you're out.

Yeah. I mean, I know Air New Zealand set up that place in Queenstown where you can go check your bags in town. Yeah, yeah, and then they'll get taken to the airport. Yeah, but you've got to pay as well. Christchurch, Wellington, that'd be a nightmare. Well, yeah, you've just got to download this app Stasher, and it's $8 a bag

from what I can see. So wherever you are in the world, it'll just list places, and here's the dairy under my house, $8, it's got five-star review, and you get insurance for up to $1,000 bag-free. How good is that for travelling?

I had no idea about this. And it looks like there's a couple of apps too. Could I leave something there and you pick it up? I don't know how that works. Let's say I wanted to drop something off at your house, but you weren't home. Then I could, well, I don't know. But underneath your house is one of these.

Could I check it in and then you check it out? You probably need ID. Same login have to be used. could, I don't know. But underneath your house is one of these. Could I check it in and then you check it out? You probably need ID. Same login have to be used. Yeah, I don't know. But you pay on the app. But I just thought, how good is that for travelling?

So good. Because sometimes like you get to like a stopover and you've got 12 hours or 10 hours and you could venture out, but. There's no lockers at airports.

There's no lockers. Yeah. You could stash your bag somewhere. So it's a hassle. But yeah, that's not, so it's called Stasher. And by the way, I just, because I Googled to try and find this place and it looks like there's a couple of them. That's so cool.

Ideal for traveling. You're welcome. Thanks. Stasher. I'm going to probably go over the road to the other dairy because I don't think they do this. Because I, um. Less people in the line.

When we did traveling and we had to leave our bags somewhere I bought a giant inflatable rock Like you know how you put your key under a rock I would Put it in a park Put our luggage underneath it Worked pretty good until it got windy ZM's Fletch Warner Megan

The Podcast This weekend Lotto must be won So 50 million If it's not won with a First Division Powerball, it'll go... They set it all on fire. And we all... Like a pile, like a $50 million pile,

and we gather around and we cry, and we think, well, look at what we've done with it. Like the police when they're burning off all the seized marijuana. So, no, it goes to the next winning division with Powerball. Yes. And split if it needs to be. Yes. Oh, I really feel like, winning division with Powerball. Yes. And Split, if it needs to be. Yes. Oh, I really feel like it's mine.

I really feel like this is in my future. Megan, this is the second time you've ever bought a lotto ticket. It's so sweet and naive of you. I'm putting it out into the universe. It's behind it. Yeah. So I can tell you in different regions, the number one lucky lotto store in your region

and how many first divvies they've won. Do you have the overall, the biggest ones in Hawke's Bay, isn't it? I believe. Is that the luckiest lotto store in the whole country? Well, the Pack and Save Rickertons had 33 first division wins. In Hawke's Bay, the Unicam Stortford Lodge Farmers has had 49 first division wins. So I was reading an article about that place.

Lions are out the door. Like, Lions are just out the door because everyone's like, that's the place. But you've really got no, the odds are the same. Because I was reading, is it better to pick your own numbers or get a dip? And it's no difference. You've got a one in, what was it, 38 million chance of winning.

What about the night and day in Richmond and Nelson? Oh, that's one of the luckiest ones, yeah. No. Oh, really? Does it slip down? Whitcoul's Nelson has had 19 First Division wins. Wow. And then there's a countdown and a Black Cat store.

Okay. Well, Black Cats are usually unlucky, but not in this case. So in Auckland, Berryman's. I don't know where that is. It just says Berryman's. Okay. It's had 27 First Division wins. I'm just going to do the top one for each region.

Okay. In the Bay of Plenty, Gretton Lotto. Okay. Canterbury, as I said, pack and save record in 33 First Division wins. Okay. Gisborne area, that's Lytton West Post and Lotto, 16. Hawke's Bay, that's the big one. That's 49 First Division wins.

Good Lord. At where that was? At the Unicam Stortford Lodge Pharmacy. Do they just buy more lottery tickets than that? Maybe. And is that the only place within the area you can get them? Manawatu, Whanganui area, Melody's New World. Okay.

Lucky old Melody having a whole new world all to herself. 26th First Divisions, Marlborough at the Fresh Choice Picton. Okay. Oh. Probably because you get off the ferry or you get on the ferry. And you're bored and you've got two hours to kill.

You betcha. You've done the mini punt. You've lost your ball on the shark's mouth. You've got an hour to kill. Not an actual shark. That's just... No, it's a concrete shark. The 18th hole, isn't it?

Yeah, that's how they get their balls back. Yeah, Nelson, what calls Nelson, in Northland, Hammer Hardware Kawakawa. Oh. You can stop there, do a dump in those flash toilets. Yeah, Nelson, what calls Nelson? In Northland, Hammer Hardware, Kauakaua. Oh. You can stop there, do a dump in those flash toilets.

Yeah, I've been in those. Yeah. Yeah, they're nice. Yeah. And then get yourself a lotto ticket. Lovely. Otago, Pack and Save Dunedin. Southland is Isles Road, New World.

Tadanaki, Weston, Westtown? Yeah, Westtown, yep. It shares a T. Westtown. It's not Westtown. Just say Westtown. That's where I grew up. I would say Westtown? Yeah, Westtown. Yep. It shares a T. Westtown. It's not Westtown. Just say Westtown. That's where I grew up. I would say Westtown. No, it's Westtown.

That's where I grew up. I will either say Westtown or Westown. Okay, Westown. Westown, lotto. Richmond Night and Day. Richmond Night and Day. There you go. It's counted as Tasman, not Nelson.

Oh, okay. Waikato, it's Take Note in Dinsdale. Wellington, Coastlands Lotto, and the West Coast, it's Grey Mouth New World. Is there one in Auckland? Yeah, we did the Auckland one. Berryman's at the start. Now, here's all the second places.

Now, you might be thinking, why is he dragging this out so long? And it's just before we went on air, Anya said, don't be long. And I said, I bet I can talk for 10 minutes. It is now past nine o'clock. She's off her seat with her hands on her hips. Hey, no, in seriousness, while we've got you here, Georgia has been filling in for the last few weeks.

Yeah, she has. As well as doing the day show, as well as helping Cam on the night show, which is actually slave labour when you work out how much she's paid. But we don't talk about that

in an effort to not be taken to employment court. We're going to say thank you. Thanks for filling in for the last few weeks. No worries, guys. It's been an absolute pleasure. I'm just glad

that we got free brioches today. Yes. What's the whole point of me doing it, to be fair. I'm glad that the first time and this whole time I've been working with these guys, the Wahine outnumber the dudes on the show. Yeah, they do. Good. We've got a brand new producer starting on Monday, Jared,

which is Vaughan's favourite name. Does he know that? Yeah, we won't be calling him that. James, 3.0. Fantastic. Also, while.0. Fantastic. Also, while we're here, just like to apologise to Ross Boss, to Soundkeeper Gary, to the management in the office, just for being late.

It's four minutes past nine. And also to that person you met in Countdown. Yeah, who was worried about our time going into the top of the hour at nine o'clock. We do apologise to all of our listeners who have inconvenienced running the show over time today. If you wait five more seconds, it'll be five minutes past. And have a great weekend.

Good luck. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.