ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - February 5th

Episode Date: February 4, 2020

Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name made a return, Tips for sleeping in hot weather, This Is Why I'm FatSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Happy Wednesday, which for a lot of people will be the last day of the week. Well played. Because tomorrow is Waitangi Day and a lot of people taking the Friday off. Makes sense. Makes sense. Big four, what day are we here? Four.

Yeah, four day weekend. Saturday. Sunday. Four. four. Four-day weekend? Four-day weekend. Yeah, four-day weekend. Thursday, Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Four. Four. Four. Yes. If you are travelling or heading away,

I actually saw a news story this morning. Air New Zealand was telling passengers to get to the airport an extra hour early. I thought you were going to say Air New Zealand had been telling passengers and there's no pashing because of coronavirus. Coronavirus. At the airport. Coronavirus is why they're telling passengers, and there's no pashing because of coronavirus. Coronavirus at the airport.

Coronavirus is why they're telling everybody to get there early. Right. So bear that in mind if you're heading away for the long weekend. We've got the top six coming up on the show. A Brisbane man is in love with his robot. His companion robot. His sex robot. What was that movie where they were in love with their... Lars and the Real Girl?

Yeah, who was in that? Ryan Gosling. That's right. No, there was another one where they were in love with their AI something. That was she and that was Harquin Phoenix. Yes, that's right. Yeah. I don't want to watch that Lars and the Real Girl because I like Ryan.

No one else could have done that apart from Ryan Gosling because at the end you're like, that'll never happen because it was Ryan Gosling. But this man is in love with his robot. I have the top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot. All right. It's coming up. Also ZM's $100,000 secret sound with Save My Bacon,

a brighter way to borrow your next chance to play and win the current jackpot. $50,000 cash is coming up at 7 o'clock this morning. We'll give you another chance at 8 as well. And this is the secret sound. Well, you guys hit up more yesterday from friends. Yeah. I had one that was like, it's definitely a chip packet.

I was like, that was the 7 a.m. guess yesterday morning. Not a chip packet. I've had a couple of good guesses, but I obviously don't want to tell you what they said, just in case. You're not allowed to win. No, I don't want to give away someone else's guess. Right. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

All right, story time. Three news headlines. WarnerMeghan must pick one of the following three headlines. Headlines for stories that I've found that are oft weird, hilarious and funny or just unusual. You might find them in the odd news section. Oh, sideswipe. All right, headline one.

Religious leader claims meth is halal. Headline two, the luckiest dog alive. And headline three, study reveals no surprises about owners of luxury vehicles. So story one I know, Indonesian Muslim cleric was caught selling methamphetamine to students. Yes. Under his guide. Yes. And he said, I believed that it was halal.

Which, and I, something over summer, I was like, what constitutes halal? Yeah, right. So there I was looking up how to prepare meats halal. There's a few things to it. It's a bit of a process. Okay. And I actually couldn't find, like thinking back, I can't

find how meth wouldn't be halal. Right, okay. Because you can't, if you're gonna... Unless the animal's gotta be killed real quick and real clean. Right. You don't eat from the hindquarters. Like anything on the hindquarters. Okay, well meth doesn't have hindquarters. Exactly.

And kind of like reading through, meth doesn't have hindquarters. Exactly, and kind of like reading through it, it doesn't have like certain animal fats in it. Meth could be halal. Yeah, but unless you cooked your meth in like a stir-fry pot that you'd done your sausages in that weren't halal. Yeah, that's true. But I like to think everyone making meth

is running a clean lab. You've picked that story. You're very good at this game now that you're on Have You Been Paying Attention, TVNZ Tonight, up with your current affairs. Good plug. Seamless plug there for Vaughan's show on television tonight. I appreciate it. With Tom Sainsbury.

Didn't invite me, and you know Tom's my favourite. Well, you've got to come for a week where Tom's not there. I don't want to. I know story three. Okay. It's that men, it was specifically men, wasn't it? It was, Megan. That drive luxury vehicles are generally jerks.

Yes. Duh. I know. Duh. Not surprising. All right, so we'll go for story two, the luckiest dog alive. Now, I don't know, you may have seen this. It's very hard with the Super Bowl.

A lot of ads, memorable ads. Companies pay big money and big celebrities to appear in their TV ads. My favourite, I think, was the Groundhog Day one with Bill Murray. I know. Kind of carried on from the classic movie. What else was there? It was Jason Momoa as a skinny bald dude. Yeah.

How did you feel about that? Attacked. There was a Rick and Morty one for Pringles that was very short, but that was there. Yeah, there was heaps of ads. Well, there was also an ad featuring a dog, a golden retriever called Scout, a seven-year-old golden retriever. Now, last summer, David McNeil's golden retriever, Scout,

was diagnosed with cancer and given a month to live. Now, David McNeil is the CEO of WeatherTech, a big company. He's obviously super rich because he paid $6 million for a Super Bowl ad to thank the vet university that fixed his dog. What? What? $6 million. that fixed his dog. What? What? Six million dollars. Hi, I'm Scout, and I'm a lucky dog.

And it's not just because I found this cool stick or that I was in the WeatherTech commercial on the big game last year. It's that I'm a cancer survivor, had a tumor on my heart, and only a 1% chance of survival. I'm alive thanks to a cutting-edge program at the University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine. And then it's

like, please donate. Yada yada. Look, here's Scott. Why didn't he just give the six million dollars to the veterinary clinic? There's no way that's raising more than six million dollars, right? Look at the dog with the big stick. It's alive. Why didn't he just like physically go in, say thank you, shout them a

morning tea and give them six million dollars? Obviously it was also an ad for WeatherTech, whatever the hell that is. Oh, right. So I think it was like kind of two birds. But yeah, you're right. We should have just donated $6 million. Oh my God. But it's a pretty cute ad, obviously, when you can see the golden retriever

who was given a month to live are now alive. And golden retrievers are like seven. My parents' ones live to like 10 max. So you're saying it wasn't worth six million? Just think of it investment-wise. That's $2 million a year. That's a lot of Golden Retrievers. That's a lot of Golden Retrievers.

You could have had them cloned in China for that. Actually, you probably could have. They are the only ones. I said in China because they're the only ones that have got no ethical quandary with cloning. Yeah, right. I'm just like, we'll do it, baby. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. If you could please just think about your alarm sound, what you wake up to in the morning. Yes, mine's a gentle fade up. Is it this one? Because this is what I... Oh, my God, that gives me a conniption, though. Oh, my God, that sounds like it's a sad ad for something.

I lost my phone again. Two days in a row. Two days in a row. How could you lose your phone? I don't know. I'm losing my mind as well. That is the problem with your alarm, whatever it is. It gives you like...

When I hear my alarm as someone's ringtone or someone's something else, I just go... Because it makes me think about 4.30 and I don't like it. Yeah. But mine is really gentle. It starts quiet, that gentle noise. I've got that bird one. It gets louder. You've got the bird one?

The iPhone bird one. The bird sound. Oh, okay. Have you ever used the bird one? No. Try to find it. It's one of those gradual buildups. And I think for us, getting up so early with partners

or Fletcher, whoever's at your house, it's considerate to have a slow build, right? Yeah. Because you can get to it before it might wake them up. Yeah, right. Okay. You see, that's a bit much. I'm just going through a couple of options.

I remember the 24 ringtone. Oh, my gosh. Why is that in my phone? You should put that back as your text message. Oh, my gosh. Why is that in my phone? You should put that back as your text message. Oh, my God, that's great. Tone. No, yuck. No.

Is this your one? Yes. Oh, that's lovely. That's nice. Yeah. But see, I'm worried that I wouldn't wake up to just birds. I need a sound, I think. No, you do.

It's weird. But then do you think you're being attacked by a group of birds? I've had dreams where birds come into it, right, just because it's obviously waking up and your brain hears it. There's that little moment before you wake up. Yeah, I've had birds in a dream. All the time. I think there's an orchestra in my bedroom

and then I realise it's my alarm. So is yours a harsh sound? No, it's fade up. Okay. It's like a... Okay? No, it's fade up. Okay. It's like a... Okay. Well, we've all passed the test because apparently if you are starting with hard noise,

like a ring or a sharp sound, it's going to make you groggy during the day. So if you have gentle... I just think the time your alarm goes off it plays more into that. But if you have a gentle melodic that rises up, it's going to make you feel better. Right. Make you less groggy throughout the day.

And I guess that's just a gentle wake up as opposed to like, get up now. Yeah, right. Because then you're not actually ready to wake up. We nailed it then. Good work us. I still feel terribly tired. Yeah, yeah. And groggy.

I don't know about you guys. Me too. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Story in the news that Brisbane man Jeff Gallagher is in love with his companion robot. He purchased this online. He said, the silence has been deafening in the house since mum passed away 11 years ago.

And I'd longed for a female companion to spend my life with, but I feel like I'd exhausted all my options. And that's when he came across Emma, a real life companion robot worth almost $6,000 each. Jeez. But it wasn't, that's not where the expenses ran out.

He also spent $70 buying a diamante jewelry and a couple of pairs of shoes. Some casual dresses, a business suit and a pink frock. But you're not going to go all out, are you? And dress a robot in something like... She doesn't appreciate it. Because she doesn't know the shame of having, you know, $70 worth of all that clothing. Yeah. She's not going to be shamed, is she?

No. In public. People aren't going to be like, oh, you've got $2 shoes on. That's sad when you think about it. It is sad, yeah. What part of it? All of it. That real life people would be ashamed. That real life people yeah, feel shame in spending $70 on an entire outfit.

Yeah. So Emma's got like I'll show you guys what she looks like. This is what Emma looks like. Oh, that's a lot more realistic. It's like a mannequin almost

rather than a robot. I'm actually quite far away from you and oh, okay. No, not the face. Now that you turn turned it around more, I was like, she looks kind of real.

This is the real giveaway on the back of her head. She's got an iPad. What? Yeah, okay. For programming. See, we laugh, but... Also, look at this.

He definitely needs to rest at her clock because it's light outside, but it says it's 11 o'clock at night. Oh, yeah. Unless he's in the Arctic. Oh, maybe he's taking her on a summer Arctic expedition. Maybe.

That's very true. But see, we laugh about this, but when we're in rest homes, we're probably going to have robot nurses and robot companions. I thought you were going to say sex robots at the nursing homes. There's probably an option for that if you pay more. So I found this, therobotreport.com. Frank writes about all things robots. Okay.

But he wrote an article called Sex Robots, Facts, Hype, and Legal and Ethical Considerations. Okay. And what a fascinating read. Like what the future holds for it and just like expectations and predictions of how many there'll be and... Wow. How for a lot of people this will be their...

Do you know there was a robot sex brothel in Barcelona? Really? Yeah. It got shut down. I'm not surprised. No, mostly because real life sex workers were not happy

about the robots selling their business. Oh, so much like modern day taxi drivers against Uber. Yes. Except what you're doing there, you should not be doing

in an Uber. But the top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot. Number six, when your pubes get caught in the Roomba. Oh my God. Because they have a Roomba built in, right? I hope so.

Or they just scoot their butt across the floor. That's what I see how cool it would be if they squatted and then the Roomba just scooched around the floor like a dog with an itchy ear. And then when you needed to talk to them, they'd stop vacuuming and talk to you. I like that.

Number five on the list of the top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot, you might get a virus off the internet unless you've got McAfee installed. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot,

you can't have a sexy shower out of fear of electrocution. Oh, yeah. So no sexy showers. No. Like, you know how something says it's water resistant? Yep. And then you put it lightly in water and it stops working? Yeah.

Oh, you'd probably get into bed and she'd have condensation on the inside. Did she get, like, a waterproof suit? That's not very sexy. That's not very sexy. Like a raincoat? Like a full-body rashie. not very sexy. Like a raincoat. Like a full body rashie. Ah, yes. A sexy raincoat.

Number three on the list of the top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot. When you've had them for a while, their batteries don't last as long. Yeah. Constantly recharging. Yeah. You probably need to leave it plugged in a lot of the time. Number two on the list of the top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot. Staying on top of software updates. Yeah two on the list of the top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot, staying on top

of software updates. Yeah. Oh, Megan, it'd be terrible. Your robot would be glitching and lagging all the time. Yeah, and then you'd update it

and have a couple of bugs. You'd need to patch the apps. And the number one on today's top six hardest things about falling in love with a robot, getting the USB charger

in the right way on the first time. Well, interpret that as you may. Hopefully. Oh, no, because it's USB charger, the right way on the first time. Well, interpret that as you may. Hopefully. Oh, no, because it's USB charge. I'm thinking of the other end. Like, remember when they made iPhone chargers anyway? Yes.

That was just next level. And USB-C can go anyway. Yeah. Right? And that's the next one. Yeah, by the time we all get to that, there's never going to be a problem. And do you see what Europe have done? Or are going to do?

The EU have said iPhones and Androids have got to have the same charger. Oh, wow. So how good is that? So I think that's going to be the little C one, isn't it? The USB-C. That's one way to celebrate Britain 11. Yeah. Go Brexit.

That is today's Top 6. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. Just reading a 32-page report. Are you trying to sound smart? Trying to sound smart. Blue Cross Blue Shield Health of America has written a report called The Economic Consequences of Millennial Health. Okay.

And some parts of it are a little bit... Boring? Panicky. Oh, okay. A little bit. Well, this is their thing. Yeah, right. They do the health insurance and stuff. Okay, right. are a little bit boring panicky oh okay a little bit well this is their thing yeah right they do their health insurance

and stuff okay right there's some panic in there but they have run quite an extensive study this is their this is page 10 this is key findings

okay yeah so they talk about millennials they say they are we are the largest I say we because in this report it says from 1981

to 1996 okay the largest most educated and most connected generation that the world has ever seen. Thank you. Stop it. That's not you.

I know. By like a year, Megan. Two years. So recent data also says there's troubling generational health patterns that could hamper the future prosperity of millennials. Or end coronavirus. There's definitely that. Yeah.

There's definitely that. So apparently we're seeing our health decline faster than previous generations as we age. Really? Now, I know, but wait, this is the traditionals, the cancers and the heart problems, lower. Right, okay. Also, illnesses related to smoking and stuff, down.

Yeah, right. Smoking less than anybody. Well, because packets of ciggies are like $100 each. Yeah. So that'll do it. You got us there. So what's killing us then? The physical health conditions, hypertension, so just getting yourself wound up and stressed.

High cholesterol and what are called behavioral health conditions such as depression and hyperactivity. Okay. Apparently, that could see mortality rates up more than Gen X at the same age. Right. Yeah. Apparently, behavioral health is a massive one. Right. So we've got to take good care of ourselves.

Yeah, mentally as well as physically. Give less of an F about things. Yeah, like that book. Buy the book. Yeah. The Subtle Art of, yeah, and then don't read it all because you don't give an F. I don't know a single person that's finished it.

So I'm going to download it on my Kindle and start. See if you finish it. See if I finish it. Please try. I feel like I already don't give enough ears anyway. I think I'm fine. But on your Kindle it's not going to look as good

as when you put a photo on Instagram being like, it's time for me to learn about that. Like, you know how everyone who buys that book takes a photo of it? Oh, yeah, right.

To try to make it look like they don't care but they're seeking approval by everybody else to not care by putting it on the gram. Okay. Or maybe they just want

to put it up, a picture. They don't. You're very cynical. So also, there's going to be, the decline in health will result in higher demand

for expensive treatments and higher healthcare costs. And then that's going to mean that they're going to start costing more. They reckon 33% more, so a third more. So we're screwed in the future. Is that what you're saying? Well, that is going to make the wealth divide even bigger.

Right. Because people who can't afford it aren't going to be able to go to work. Oh, God, this is depressing. And their productivity is going to cost them. And they reckon the average millennial, it could cost them $4,500 a year. That's American. So then that goes into the GDP coming right back. And there goes my bloody house deposit.

Exactly. I'm just going to eat avocados. Are they good for me? Not your cholesterol. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't get stressed about it. Okay.

Don't get stressed about it. So, yeah. Chill out and watch about it. Okay. Don't get stressed about it. So, yeah. Chill out. Not chic or menstrual. We're keto-ing. We're bloody Atkins-ing. What's the other one? Paleo-ing.

Yep. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You're worrying too much. I like to live in ignorant bliss. It's a beautiful way to live. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. 2,000 people were surveyed for this. It's a beautiful way to live. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. 2,000 people were surveyed for this. That's a decent amount of people who had cheated on their partners. And this was from a UK website that specialised in marital affairs. They surveyed 2,000 people in an attempt to find out the excuses that cheaters use when they're trying to explain where they've been or where they're going. Right, okay. There's a top ten list for men and women. Okay. to find out the excuses that cheaters use when they're trying to explain where they've been or where they're going. Right, okay.

There's a top ten list for men and women. Okay. There are ones that overlap. Working late. That's like the cliche one, isn't it? It's always in the movies. Working late in the office is the herd on men and women. Okay. Both, yeah.

That is up there. Should we hear, who do men or women first? Which list? The number one on the men. That is up there. Should we hear, who do men or women first? Which list? The number one on the men's list is so weird. Oh. I think it's weird. Save that for last then. Save that for last.

Okay, do women. Okay, women. What? Women. Women. This is the top 10 cheating excuses that women use. Okay. 10, playing sport.

Well, that explains why you come home sweaty. But what if you've just got indoor netball? Oh, yeah, all of these could also be legit. Yeah, what the hell? But if you're, like, doing it all the time and you're already suspicious. Gary's going to get suspicious because he knows you play indoor netball on a Tuesday

and it's a Wednesday. You just played last night. League delay. Oh, there's another one. League delay. You had a double booking with indoor cricket. That was too quick for you. Yeah.

From you. Number nine, gone for a beauty treatment. Oh, yep. Okay. Yeah, I bought like a massive package. Are we going for like three hours? Right. Eight, meeting a best friend.

Seven is seeing relatives. Right. There's no one who wants to go do that. Yeah, exactly. The guy's like, I'll just stay at home. You go see Auntie Dordry. Dordry? I had two great aunties growing up.

Doreen and Audrey? Yes. Oh, my God. Those were my two great aunties growing up. Dordry. Dordry. Dordry. And there wasn't that band, Dordry?

Yeah, there was. Yeah. Wow. I tell you what, though. I'm looking forward to the return Daughtry? Yeah, that's right. Wow. I tell you what though, I'm looking forward to the return of Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name today. It's 8 o'clock. Oh, Daughtry. So the top 10 excuses women use if they're cheating.

Number six is shopping. Oh, okay. So that's not legit for me. Well, you do that every day. Walking the dog is an interesting one which is on both lists, men and women. Okay. Because how long

are you walking the dog for? Half an hour? It's not long enough. What's the dog doing during the cheating? Because I'm assuming you have to take the dog with you.

It'd be weird if the dog knows a lot. Yeah. Number four, socialising, number three, sorry, socialising after work.

Working late in the office. It's pretty similar as number three. Night out with the girls, number two. I feel like that would get used a lot. Yeah. What's the number one for women? Going to the gym. Okay.

No, I was going to say, we all know someone, and I don't know if you guys know this story, but they had a partner and they were seeing somebody else and they'd be like, I'm just going for a run around the block. And they'd run around the corner and the other person would pick them up and then they'd go on shenanigans and then they'd drop them back off and then they'd run back and they'd be all sweaty and stuff. How was the run?

That's right. Not bad. That's so scandalous. That is scandalous. Well, you wouldn't be able To do it now Because everyone that runs Does the map my run Yeah So they can see

How far they've gone And then so I would go Round the corner You would have been like Where's your map my run Disappear You were going 64 kilometres an hour

And then you've stopped At this house Stopped for a long time Were you stretching there Were you Yeah I was stretching I don't know if you've run 64k's but I needed

A 20 minute rest Okay so the top 10 Chatting excuses for men Okay Number 10 Ostriches, isn't it? What? I don't know if you've run 64Ks, but I needed a 20-minute rest. Okay, so the top 10 cheating excuses for men. Okay. Number 10, seeing relatives. Okay. Guys don't want to do that. Nine, meeting their best friend.

Eight is playing sports. Seven, going to the gym. Six, walking the dog. Okay. So the top five cheating excuses that men use are a boys' night out. Yep. Four is socialising after work. Three is working late in the office. Two is playing

golf. Because golf takes ages. Yeah. Yeah, right. And there's no further questions. Yeah, because no one wants to see boring golf photos. And they're never going to want to go with you. Yeah. How is the 13th hole? Yeah. Oh, you know the 13th hole.

Got a hard par for her and she's like I've already zoned out. Number one is watching football. Watching sport. I'll let you just say I'm going to Gary's place to watch NFL or something. Because if she's not into that sport

unless she's into it and she's like, well what happened in the second quarter? You need to find a sport that she's not into that sport. Yeah. Yeah, right. Unless she's into it, and she's like, well, what happened in the second quarter? You need to find a sport that she's not into. Yeah. Yeah. And sorry to everybody who just does those things. And now we'll have to explain themselves to their partners.

All thanks to Save My Bacon, a brighter way to borrow sound. Keeper Gary, good morning. What up, players? Not much. I like it. Not much. Gary, where are we on the clue front? We're not putting out any clues this week.

I guarantee that. It's day three. Does it feel that long already? Does it feel like we've been doing this for months? No, I was just wondering if you had one on the horizon, if you could give us a tantalising taste of a clue in the distance. Cameron, good morning. You're in Auckland.

How are you? Yeah, good. How's it going? Good, good. All right, so you've heard the ZM Secrets. Let's have another listen. Do you think you've nailed it, Cameron? I hope so.

Well, $50,000 is all yours. That's a life-changing amount of money. Sure is, yeah. No, it's not all his yet. Well, no, I'm just saying it. Well, he said he's pretty much got it, didn't he? Right. Well, you were like, $50,000 is all yours. He could take us to court on the promise that you said it was his.

No, you interrupted. I was doing a pause. I was doing a dramatic pause. $50,000 is all yours. Ev, you can tell us the sound, and you just jumped in and gave him the money. Legally, you left two bigger paws. What is the legal paws amount? For that?

Yeah, I'll speak to the legal department and get an official ruling on a paws amount. Soundkeeper Gary. Cameron, what's your guess? I think it's cracking an egg on a bowl or like a frying pan. Oh, that's a really good... And that last bubbly crackly bit, is it hitting the oil? I think that's the actual crack of the shell.

That works. So that's it, when you pull apart the shell, the initial crack and then the separator. What about the second sound, The like gaspy bit? Is there someone getting a fright that they cracked it? So I think that first initial sound is it hitting the side of the bowl and then I think the second

sound is it someone cracking their egg open. Right, so that's a different sound to it say falling into a really hot frying pan. It's not like crackling. It's just hitting the side of the bowl and opening. Right.

Yeah. Cameron, you've missed out on $50,000. Oh, Cameron. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Don't, like, get all, like, take the piss out of my dog, okay? Because I'm serious that Leo could be good at this. Okay? At what?

So TVNZ are... It's like a teacher saying, don't pick on that kid, and then the teacher leaves the room. Don't pick on Leo. We all look at the kid that we're told not to pick on and be like, I wasn't even going to, but... Well, TVNZ are looking for dogs. They want talented dogs. They have said they need to be obedient, agile and entertaining.

Right. Because they want to find New Zealand's most talented dog. And you could win. You could win $100,000. What? They don't even give away that on a human TV show. Yeah. Like, what do you win on The Bachelorette? Lucina, don't even give away that on a human TV show. Yeah. Like, what do you win on The Bachelorette?

Love. You've seen it, haven't you? That's enough. Love. Love. Yeah, oh, okay, but no money. And Instagram followers. Yeah, right.

Okay, oh, you're true. Or an absolutely ruined public image. One of the two. And Instagram followers. Being cancelled. In 2020, that's your prize. Dogs of all shapes

and sizes and breeds are very much welcome. Okay. Their human applicants need to be at least 18 years old. Right. So obviously you need to

like accompany your dog, your train. So do you think it's like a dog's got talent show? Yeah, like Tux Wonder Dogs. It's bad.

Sometimes people take their dogs on like those Britain's Got Talent. Yeah, yeah, and they jump through hoops and show. Yeah, like Tux Wonder Dogs. It's bad. Sometimes people take their dogs on like those Britain's Got Talent. Yeah, yeah, and they jump through hoops and things. Yeah.

So is that what they want? That kind of stuff? Or like barking or speaking on command? Yeah, all of it, it sounds like. Obedient, agile and entertaining.

Is Mark Vitti allowed to enter? He taught those dogs to drive cars. This is kind of his bag. It'd be cheating, wouldn't it, if he was, but then $100,000.

Yeah. I don't know. The only problem is he's not always obedient. Like if he can't be bothered listening to you, he just doesn't. But he can roll over. But that's not a $100,000 dog. I'm not done. He can speak on command.

And I've taught him, because I was like, for his future career in Hollywood, I taught him how to do all these commands with hand signals because I was like they can't have me saying speak because I'd be on camera. Like they'd hear me. So he can do speak. So I do hand signals to make him speak. Your dog's not going to be in Hollywood. It's not going to be on an ad

for dog food. We're still working on it. Hand signals. This is roll over. This is speak. So he can do all those? Yeah. He can shake hands. Can we take some calls with people with actual talented dogs? Ouch. Like what would your if you're hearing about the show

what would your dog's trick be on the show? Does anybody have a dog that does like an amazing trick? Can Ralph, what can Ralph do? He eats too quick and then vomits and then eats it again. That's pretty good. See, that's more funny to watch than a dog rolling over.

Yep, yep. Just saying. He can be really wet and really dirty first thing in the morning when it's not being wet and you're like, where have you been and what have you been digging in? There's that. So your dog's not talented either. No, he's a pain in the ass.

All right, well, are you listening now? Do you have a dog that does something amazing? Bonus points if you're with your dog and it can do it. Yeah. Like if it can speak on command or something. Oh, yeah, and don't just ring us up and say your dog can do a flip and then be like, go, and then say, yep, he did it. That's no good to us.

No, but if we hear the flip. How do you hear a flip? Oh I just hear it You just stamp on the ground And be like yeah We did it Well maybe You don't have to be with your dog

Does your dog do something That's pretty amazing That could make it on this new show? There's a new TV show coming It's for talented dogs Which I think Leah would be great at TVNZ are doing this And the prize money is $100,000

I think if the text messages Into our show Are any indication of dogs' talents TVNZ are doing this and the prize money is $100,000. I think if the text messages into our show are any indication of dog's talents, TVNZ will be pulling that back at $100,000 because none of these

are $100,000 talents. Oh, ouch. Although, what? They're still dogs. Like, what do you expect them to bake you a cake?

Oh my God, that would win. I would watch a dog bake a cake. A dog baking. Yeah. No, because somebody said my dog bake a cake. Dog baking. Yeah. Because somebody said my dog's talent

is being terrified of hard surfaces and refusing to walk on tiles or wooden floors so they get to the edge and they stop and they sit and you have to carry them

to the next piece of carpet. Yeah. Oh my God, that's pretty funny. What a talent. Sean, what's your dog's talent? Okay,

so my lab's Storm is a big, gentle, golden lab, and his talents are he knows his right from his left when you shake his hands. So if you say right, he picks his right paw up and left. He also does a pretty cool commando crawl. You get him to lie on his tummy and you tap the ground in your commando crawl.

And he also can rip the heads off hedgehogs without spiking himself. Without spiking himself. Oh, my God. That's so ret Without spiking himself. Oh my God. That's so retarded. Precision. Precision brutality. I don't know if that last one's going to go down well

in prime time, Sean. Somebody said, I'm a courier and one of my customer's dogs is trained to run out to my van and receive the packages and take it back inside to them. Oh.

Unless it's fragile. Or signature required. Or no, because they're paw prints. Imagine if the dog... Oh, their little earring. They were like, what's your name? Because you know how they always ask you what your name is for a signature required,

and then they want your signature as well. It would be like, Fido Paw Print. My late dog, that means dead now, not like it's just late. We know. We know. My late dog, once I had a plastic bag... Just in case you thought it was 10 minutes late today. Like your dog is just late. We know. We know. My late dog once ate a plastic bag. Just in case you thought it was 10 minutes late today. Like your dog is always late.

Yeah. No, it's dead. Yeah. It ate a plastic bag. No, that's not what killed it. Okay. But when it pooped out the plastic bag, the plastic bag had poo in the bag.

Oh, wow. Okay. Like he was cleaning up his own mess on a wall. Yeah. Pre-packaged poo. Probably in the bin there. Okay. Do you was cleaning up his own mess on a wall. Yeah. Pre-packaged poo. Probably in the bin there. Okay. Do you reckon that would win a talent competition?

Oh, no. Anita, what would your dog do on this talent show? So my dog can shake on command whichever hand you want or give you a high five depending on what you ask for. Okay. And if you're standing and you tap your chest, he'll jump up to be cuddled. Oh.

Can your dog roll over? No, no, he can't do that. But I'll tell you what, he's a Houdini when it comes to locking him away somewhere and he'll always find his way out. What kind of dog is it? He's a Foxy.

A Foxy. A little Foxy. All right, thanks, Anita. They go down fox holes, aren't they? Sounds like there's going to be some tough competition for your silly dog. He's a foxy A foxy A little foxy Alright Thanks Anita Made to go down fox holes Aren't they Sounds like there's Going to be some Tough competition

For your silly dog Excuse me Her dog couldn't roll over Your dog couldn't Jump up to get a cuddle Yes he does He would need a stepladder He jumps up

Remember he jumped up On your lap And you loved it That's pretty cute You did love it I did love it We accidentally Taught our dog

To move in slow motion Oh What do you mean That would be cool Wow I don't know You did love it. I did love it. We accidentally taught our dog to move in slow motion. Oh, okay. What do you mean? That would be cool. Wow. I don't know. I don't know what they know. That's so cool.

I need to see a video of that. Our dog once ate a whole dining room chair. Everything. The whole chair. Wow. What, even the wood? Yeah, he just ate the lot. That's pretty amazing.

Over time or in one whole, like, did they go to work and come back in? And they're eating the whole chair. That's what it sounds like. Imagine if you're just like, where's that chair gone? You see the booze. And the dog's like, burp, and a little bit of fluff comes out. See, that dog would win the $100,000 on this talent show. I can't wait to see it.

Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast, ZM. There are four messages. It says Tinder messages, but I think for dating apps that are a huge turn off, apparently. Okay. Along the lines of these four things are what you should never say to someone. Okay. Because instant turn off. Number one is what's your Instagram?

Asking what someone's Instagram is. Yeah, right. Because then they're getting like a real look into your life, aren't they? If it's not private. And also if someone wanted you to look at their Instagram profile that early, they'd link it on their dating app, right? Exactly, yeah. Or they'd maybe give it to you eventually.

And that's like saying to me, I haven't got enough pictures of you. I need to go stalk you on social media. Yeah. So you don't say it, you just do it? Oh, yeah. You could just do it on the sly and not say anything. Don't ask them what's your Instagram.

Yeah, but you'd need to have enough info to stalk them. Because if they had a plain first name, you could be scrolling through a lot of Sams. Yeah. You sound like an amateur over there. Detective Pikachu over here with the stalking prowess. Don't act like you can't find somebody if you open your mind to it. But so how long would you ask them for their Instagram, do you think?

Well, you'd have to be talking to them for a little bit and then feel like there's a bit of a connection and then ask them. But if people only had a couple of pictures, it's annoying. You want more, don't you? Yeah. Because someone might have two pictures and you're like, well, are they old pictures? Well, maybe you can ask in a nicer way

because you're not giving them the opportunity to say no. True. Messaging, guess not, lol. You know how if you don't reply to someone and they're like, oh, guess not. Or if you ask them something weird and then there's no reply and you're like, oh, guess not. But people are... Or if you ask them something weird and then there's no reply and you're like, guess not.

People are busy. They have lives and jobs. They're not on... Oh, so you just leave it. You just wait. Yeah, because also that's really pass-ag. It is.

Guess not. Lol. You're like, literally, I haven't been on here to reply to you and then you open it up and you see a pass-ag reply. It's like, well, of course

I'm not going to keep chatting to you because you're PASAG. And that's only the start of our relationship. You're supposed to put your best foot forward. If you're PASAG now, what's our relationship going to be like? You're going to be a bitch. Asking for personal information too fast. Like IRD number.

As in, no, no. Tax code. Yeah. That kind of stuff, like address. Or like bank account number. Oh, yeah, sure. Credit card number. Yeah. That kind of stuff, like address. Or like bank account number. Oh, yeah, sure. Credit card number. Yep.

Yeah, obvious one. But if you're asking too much too soon, people are going to think you're creepy. Yeah, like your first pet, your mother's maiden name. Any other security questions? Other password questions. Oh, my God. Imagine if someone, like, worked out how to get all that info from you.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Yeah. I bet people do. I reckon someone could ask, not now, but someone could ask me that on like a, you know, space the questions out and I'd be like, oh, it's this. Yeah, you just wouldn't say what was your first pet's name. You'd just start talking about animals and pets. Yeah. Oh my God, my first pet was blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, my first pet is bubbles. Who was your best friend at high school? That's a question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not telling. Who was your hero growing up? Yeah, what was the first street you grew up on?

Yes, yes. What was the first brand of your first car? Yes, that's a classic one. And the last one, the things you shouldn't say on Tinder or dating apps because it's a huge turn off is giving too much information. So while like being an open book can help strengthen a relationship. Yeah. If you hit them with your life story and your struggles right off the bat.

Yeah. It's a bit much. Hook them in before you make them deal with your life struggles and your bad stuff. Yeah. Sure. That's like classic. That's how I've been married twice. Oh, so that's the-

That's also how I got divorced. For success, yeah. First time. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Yesterday, after the show, I was pottering around work. Just doing a few little things. Cute.

It sounds like you're in the garden. Pottering around the garden. Pottering around in the studio. Just doing a few little bits, editing. It sounds like you're in the garden. Pottering around in the studio. Just doing a few little bits, editing some stuff. You guys had gone home. You sound like the martyr. I obviously have a greater work ethic. And something happened at work and you guys missed out on it.

And I thought, well, we've all got to relive this. Because it was awkward. Very, very awkward. We cross now to the producers booth executive intern anya good morning would you like to tell everybody what happened yesterday what made you want to dig a hole and disappear so we have a lovely security guard here at work his name is alofa he is wonderful um always great for a chat at the coffee machine. He's lovely. He is lovely. Recently, I've been seeing him around more and more with another person here at work who works in the mailroom.

Yes. Yes. And they're really cute. I think they come in together in the mornings and I've seen them hanging out during the day. And so yesterday, after a bit of chin wagging, I said, Hey, I'm just going to, can I just ask you something? No. And at that point, he should have been like, no, got to go.

See you later. He doesn't want to be rude to you. Anybody that was security related. No, I said it in a way that was like. My swipe card doesn't work on this door. Did you prefer saying a personal question? Can I ask you a personal question? No, but my question said it wasn't security-based.

I think my tone said it. Yeah, right. Hit me with the exact time. Hey, you lovely, can I ask you a question? No. No, that can't be security-based. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. You can be asking why there's someone standing at that gate every morning rather than just fixing the gate. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good call. So, I said, are you dating her?

And he laughed a lot and said, no, you egg, she's my cousin. It's still funny the second day. Did you witness this in person or did she just come in? I know it was out there. It's still funny the second day. Did you witness this in person? Or did she just come in? I know it was out there.

I saw them talking, but then she came in and said, oh, my God. It was so awkward. The poor guy. Poor me. Poor me, actually. What led you to think that they were dating? Just because they're walking together all the time, they could just be friends.

They never hold hands and kiss. No, they're not passionate they were dating. Just because they're walking together all the time, they could just be friends. They never hold hands and kiss. No, they're not passionate. But maybe that's because they're conscious of the work environment. I thought maybe they kissed in the car. I don't know. You're in the mail room. In the mail room, maybe. But your boyfriend works here,

and you can tell you guys are together because you'll do the odd little PDA. No, there's no canoodling. I've got a strict no canoodling at work. No, but you can just tell from the body language you're together. Yeah, and the eye contact day, it's always like, hey, baby. Oh, yeah. Thank God you asked, though, because I had been wondering.

I think a lot of people did. I haven't been wondering. Maybe they should put this in the company email on Friday for the week wrap-up just to let everybody know the situation. That wouldn't be awkward at all. Blackout Woman. This is why. Fat.

This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. Okay. I'm literally salivating.

I know. It's not often we have the foods to try that we talk about. This is why in Fatty's segment of the show we look at new food products and collabs and things that have popped up. This one has come to us from the UK, but don't let that stop you. You say the UK, but I've just found it's popped up in Australia. That's close. Surely it's got to come here, but you can do this yourself because we have. Although we did buy this yesterday, didn't we?

It smells good. I'll still eat it. yesterday, didn't we? It smells good. I'll still eat it. Question, aren't you? Did you just buy this or was this an excuse for... There may have been a pickup tax of a bit of popcorn chicken. That's fair enough.

I'm only human. That's fair though. Thank you. But did you claim this back? Yeah, I've got the work credit card. Technically that's fraud then, what you've done there. Theft is a servant.

Should I put it through as overtime though? Because I did have to go to two takeaway outlets. Okay, let's call this even. Okay. I do have a little bit of a bone to pick with you, Anya, though, because you've made it, but you haven't made it accurately. Oh, okay. Because on this, this is what we're discussing.

It's a Pizza Hut and KFC collab. Yep. On this, it's a KFC popcorn chicken pizza. It has gravy on the base. From the actual? From the base. Oh, get out of town. Because I was thinking if you were going to do this

and then what more you could add to it, you'd put the McDonald's Big Mac sauce on it. No. No. That's overrated. Get it out of here. You're not on a pizza. No, you're popcorn chicken. Shut both of your faces. Get out of here.

You can't put McDonald's sauce on a pizza. You can put burger sauce on 100%. Burger sauce. Maybe if it was like beef meatballs. It doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter. It's not beef exclusive. It's not beef exclusive. You know the Waddy's burger sauce that tastes exactly like the Big Mac? Yeah.

It's delicious. You can put that on anything. No, not on a pizza. You can put it on anything. It's too dominating. Ah, yeah. You can't go wrong with pickles. I reckon a sweet chilli sauce on that would be amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay, so it's supposed to have gravy on the bottom. Yep. It's like the base. And then it is dotted with popcorn chicken, mozzarella, cheese and a sprinkle of sweet corn. Sweet corn?

Yeah. Sweet corn? I did find in mum's pantry whole kernel corn but I can't find a can opener. Why would you put corn on there? Why would you put corn on there? Yeah, I also thought it was a weird decision.

Chicken, cheese and corn is like... No, Megan, no. You don't put corn on there. Oh, I'm down. Why would you put corn on there? I mean, also said it was a weird decision. Chicken cheese and corn is like... No, Megan, no, you don't put corn on there. Oh, I'm down. Why do you put corn on there? I mean, you could ask for no corn. Also, Willa's going to go

and make a salad and there's going to be no corn. I know, Mum, I owe you a can of whole kernel Hawke's Bay corn. Does she put a whole corn in a salad? I don't know.

I don't... Are you anti-corn or something? I'm getting a... I'm pro-hot corn. I'm pro-corn on a cob. You won-hot corn. I'm pro-corn on a cob. You won't find a guy who loves pro-corn on a cob more than me, guys. But cold corn, I'm not on board with cold corn.

Are you going to try this pizza popcorn chicken pizza? I'm a bit bony, so yeah, I will. Oh, really? Okay. Here you go. Because normally when we have food in studio, you'll sniff it. Yeah, but you know that KFC's my weakness. Jeez, don't hold back.

Why don't you give it a taste of it? You've got a good spread of it. I mean, discounting the fact that it's a day-old pizza. Yeah, when you bit through it, it looked a little rubbery. The popcorn chicken's held well, though. That is good. That's good. I can see with the gravy,

because it does need a bit of... It needs a bit more cheese. Also, I feel like Hal already do one of these. Do they? Oh, shit, guys. That's really good. I feel like Hal have got these pizzas with that on it. Right.

Well, I don't know. Do you know what it needs? Some corn. Barbecue. No, it doesn't need corn. What it needs is burger sauce. Oh, man. Just spread it around.

A bit of gravy. Remember that song when you're a kid? What? McDonald's, McDonald's. Can't take it for a chicken and a pizza hut. A pizza hut. A pizza hut. Can't take it for a chicken and a pizza hut.

And fish and chips comes into it somewhere, doesn't it? McDonald's. There's one more fast food outlet in there, isn't there? Subway. Doesn't fish and chips come into it? It was free Subway. It was free Subway. We'll get Subway in there too. I thought fish and food outlet in there, isn't there? Subway. Doesn't fish and chips come in too? It was free Subway. It was free Subway. We'll get Subway in there too.

I thought fish and chips was in there. No, you're thinking of fish and chips. Yeah, fish and chips. Yeah, makes me want to lick my lips. Never heard that in my life. Eat it for breakfast, lunch and tea. Fish and chips are for me. It's a bloody... Oh, George has heard it. George, I've never heard that in my... Lunch and tea. Fashion chips are for me.

Bloody. Oh, George has heard it. George, I've never heard that in my... Yeah, but we know you have a terrible childhood. Did you do the... Yep, the... And then get into a bit of jump jam. Well, another edition of This Is Why I'm Fat. It's a pizza with popcorn chicken on it, and it's delicious.

Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. What's that sound?

Set it up. $100,000 secret sound. Which saved my bacon. All thanks to Save My Bacon, a brighter way to borrow sound. Keep it Gary is in studio. Hey guys, how we doing? Good. Ready to give away this $50,000?

No, no, no, I'm not. Isn't it funny how nonchalant we're being about 50 grand because it's the opening jackpot? Remember last time? I'm only nonchalant because I can't win it. If I had the actual opportunity, like I'd have graphs and what do you call it? Like Excel. Stats. Analytics. I'd be graphs and, what do you call it, like Excel? Stats. Analytics.

I'd be in the analytics. I don't know how graphs would help you. Hi, my name's Megan. I've got a graph. I'm going to win. I know what the secret sound is. I've got a graph. Good morning, Jenna.

How are you? Hi. Good, thank you. All right, so you've been listening to the secret sound. It's three days old. And do you think you've worked it out? I don't know. Me and my workmates have come up with

varyingly different ideas that we've all agreed kind of sound like it. So we just thought, we'll try to get through it in the process of elimination. Well, here is the return of the workplace guess. This can get awkward because we've never had a workplace win, but then does this mean you're going to split the money? No, because she said that we were

different. I thought you said you all had different guesses. No, you stick. No, but we're working on it together and we've agreed if one of us wins, we'll split it. Do you trust everyone in the office, Jenna? Yeah, I do. You do? Okay, because I'd probably leave all of these people behind and take the

$50,000. Yeah, same. Jenna, are you using any graphs? No. Okay, yeah, it's a stupid idea. Would you agree graphs are a stupid way to try to win this out? I have no hope for you then. All right, Jenna, for $50,000, what do you think the secret sound is? I think that it could be like the Kiwiana, like Buzzy Bee toy being used.

Okay, so that's where you pull the... Do you pull it... You just pull it on the string and it goes... Yeah, the way they rotate. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Jenna, do you have a Buzzy Bee at home? No, but I had one as a kid.

I think your Buzzy Bee, I think your memory of it might be a little bit off. That is not the secret sound. Boo. Sorry, Jenna or Barry. Back to blame someone else at work Hey you on the phone I bet I can guess your mum's name Well it was a raging success last week

The very first bet I can guess your mum's name And straight away you guessed it Karen Karen was her mum's name It was the first guess I don't expect it to ever go that well again. I had people asking me, like,

that way will be what? Secret sound? You get the occasional, do you know it? Or, you know, what do you think it is? Yeah.

I had so many people say, how did you work that out? I know. I had people saying that. They were like, seriously, tell me on the down low, like,

was it rigged? Yeah. I was like, no, why would we rig it? It's way more fun if you can't. Exactly. It's way funnier if it's an absolute failure.

But straight out of the gate. So how I bet I can guess your mum's name works is we'll get a caller on, and you get to ask five questions, Vaughn. Correct, five questions. And then you will have 15 seconds to just start shooting mum's names out there. And if you can guess it in that 15 seconds

they win $100. Now if I guess it, we go to a bonus round where I have one shot to guess your dad's name. For another $100? Yes. I mean it's no secret sound but that's a lot of cash. Yeah. That's $200. God, any other time in the financial year that would sound like a lot of money. Oh, it will probably be

$5 to $10 towards the end of the year. Yeah, right. But it's the fun. It's the playing that counts, isn't it? It's not about the size. It's the fun. Lucy, good morning. Hi.

Oh, Lucy. Lucy, welcome to Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Thank you. And I will be truly surprised if you guess my mum's name. Damn it. Now, Anto, the other communication I had saying, let me play, I'll bet you'll never guess my mum's name. Damn it. Now, the other communication I had saying, let me plough, but you'll never guess my mum's name. Yeah.

And, Ternania, you have asked, in the kind of silence, Lucy for her mum's name, and you've written that down on a piece of paper. I have. It's here in front of me, and it shan't be changed or touched by Vaughan Smith. Excellent. See, we can't rig it.

No. Unriggable. We could never fake that up. Unriggable. We couldn't fake that up at all, ever. Never. No chance. Impossible to fake.

Yeah, I really want you to not guess it. I know. She said I'm not going to get it. I'll be very surprised. Okay. Okay. All right, Lucy, five questions. Question one, how old is your mum?

She is 55. 55? Okay. She is 55 55? Okay So she was born in 20, 30 more 70 65? 1965? Yeah, 64, 65

64, 65 Good sly on the fly maths from you, Bourne Okay, yeah, okay What's your mum's favourite TV show? What does she sit down with a cool glass of Chardonnay and watch on the reg? She does not watch TV. She's not into Netflix and we don't have a normal TV. So did you say she only watches Netflix?

No, she doesn't watch Netflix either. Oh, she doesn't watch anything? No. Wow, okay doesn't watch Netflix either. Oh, she doesn't watch anything? No. Wow, okay. What does that mean? I don't know. She could be a very busy lady. She's too busy.

Oh, she's too busy. Okay, so she's busy. She's got a busy lifestyle. All right. What are your mum's siblings' names? So aunties and uncles and mum's family. Her sister's name is Debbie. Okay. Oh, that's a mum name. That's a mum name.? Her sister's name is Debbie. Okay.

Oh, that's a mum name. That's a mum name. That's a mum name. Another one is Jenny, and her brother is Jeff. Okay, so let's see. It's that kind of era of names, isn't it? Is that real? Yeah, is that real, mum?

There's some sweet auntie and uncle's names there. Uncle Jeff. Yeah, that really rolls off the tongue. Okay. Yeah. Where was rolls off the tongue. Okay. Yeah. Where was your mum born? Auckland, North Shore. Okay, so not an overseas name that you have to take into account.

No, well, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Maybe because, you know, like 66, maybe some hippie years in there. Yeah. Maybe Lucy's grandparents weren't really out there with one of her kids' names. Yeah. And how does your mum like her steak cooked? Quite well done.

Oh, of course she does. Bless her mum. Mum's love. Well done, steak. My mum always brings the steak back to me. She's like, just give this one a couple more minutes. Yeah. All right.

What a waste. But okay. All right. So five questions. Is it five questions? That's five questions. Oh, because you asked last week if the mum was spunky.

You wanted to ask that again. You can't ask it every week. You're only allowed five questions. Yeah, I'm only asking. I've got a feeling she is spunky. Okay. She's a busy, spunky lady. Lucy, if you hear Vaughn

yell out your mum's name in the next 15 seconds, say mummy. Okay. I don't know. Why do we want to? Yeah. Or just ma'am.

Ma'am. Or what about. That's ma'am. That's ma'am. Okay. So if you hear me say your mum's name. Okay. All right.

Vaughn Smith. You have 15 seconds starting from now. Michelle. Susan. Joanne. Sandra. Lisa. Tanya. Sharon. Tracy, Donna, Julie, Angela, Christine, Karen, could it be Karen again?

Jacqueline, Nicola, Helen, Wendy, Fiona, no! What did you say? The last few ones. Yeah. I said Nicola, Helen, Wendy, Fiona. Yep, you got it. Are you kidding me? No.

Wait, which one of those was your mum's name? Wendy. Wendy. We're just waiting for official adjudication. The timer had not gone off. When I said Wendy. When you said Wendy. Smith, two for two, baby.

It's $100. You should probably be more pleased that I guess your mum's like that. I am, but honestly, I don't know how you do it. We don't ask too much. When you said, I don't think you're going to get this,

and I knew it was Wendy, I was like, no, I'd guess Wendy. Wendy? Yeah, okay. I've got a name in the 60s. Well, it is time for the bonus round.

While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Now, no questions, one guess only. What is Lucy's dad's name? Vaughn Smith. Doug. Doug.

No. Was it? My other guess, I was really, I was caught on, yeah. Craig. I was my second backup guess. No, Craig's too, no. I was too new. Larry.

No, that's not it either. Richard. No. Well, what is it? Cam or Cameron. Cam. Oh, that's a modern name for Dad. Oh, well, Lucy, congratulations.

$100 cash. Great. Thank you. Another successful, bet I can guess your mum's name, and it's got to be back next week, Bourne. Oh. I think it's got to be a weekly feature. Give the people what they want. ZM's Fletch, Bourne. Oh, I think it's got to be a weekly feature. Give the people what they want.

ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Megan, the podcast. I had this chat with my lads group in WhatsApp at the weekend. Someone just randomly asked, do you guys have an inner monologue? I've seen this being discussed on... The internet's really divided about it. Yeah. So how would you describe this? So it's when you're thinking about something,

but you hear yourself thinking about it. Like you hear your voice in your head. That's me. I do that. Because I always, I can hear myself, like I can think and I'm hearing the words, but I don't know if it's me talking. It's just me thinking it.

Who's talking in your head? What voice is it? I don't think if it's me talking. It's just me thinking it. Who's talking in your head? What voice is it? I don't think I hear a voice. It's quite hard. If you've never thought about it, it's quite hard to think if you do it or not. But it's not like you're walking along and narrating your life. It's just you're hearing your thoughts said in your voice.

But some people have that and some people don't. Some people don't. So how do they think then? A mate of mine was like, what are you guys talking about? We're like, you know when you think and you can hear your voice and you're talking? And he's like, no. I was like, you know in the movies where it's like in a monologue,

he's like, yeah, but that's the movies. That's a narrative. Yeah. It's got a narrative purpose. I was like, no, it's what some people do. Because what about when you're reading a book? Like you hear yourself saying the words. I hear myself the words and I'm picturing it all happening.

Yeah, actually, it must be my voice because it's in my accent and everything. I'm like the world's worst audio book. I'm a real monotone audio book. Yeah. Right, so you'd be the same then. Yeah, I think so. But I couldn't imagine not having. You can or you can't imagine.

I just changed my inner monologue to be a British accent, so it's there. But surely everyone has that. When you're going about your life today, you might think, I don't have that. But you do, you just haven't thought about it. Because it is a weird thing to think. I'm like, what accent should I speak in now?

And I've always wondered, multilingual people, what do they think of? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because Ursula Carlson, who is on Have You Been Paying Attention Tonight TV 2.

All right, name dropper. That's a good plug. Yeah, good plug. More of a show plug than a name dropper. But I asked her, she thinks in Afrikaans. She doesn't think in English. She thinks in Afrikaans. She doesn't think in English. She thinks in Afrikaans.

But then what do people do when they don't have the inner monologue? They just go around life. That's what we're trying to get. They have thoughts though, right? Yeah, but yeah, my mate couldn't explain it. He said he sees things, but he doesn't hear his own voice. If you're like pottering around, will you sometimes just speak out loud? Yeah.

Or like when you're texting, you'll say will you sometimes just speak out loud? Yeah. Or like when you're texting, you'll say, I do that all the time. Yeah. For people to be like, why are you talking? Are you talking to me? I'm like, no,

I'm talking to myself. I give myself pep talks out loud. Like, you're all right, mate. If you stub your toe and like just walk it off, give it a wee rub. Yeah. I talk to myself when I'm outdoor doing tasks

and shut it, he'll be like, who are you talking to? I'm like, um, shut up. He'll be like, who are you talking to? I'm like, the goats. Because for some reason that's less crazy than talking to myself out loud. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Right now it's time for Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Today's fact of the day is in the 1900s, the early 1900s, Argentina had a tax on unmarried men. Huh. So if you got to an age in your 20s and you weren't married, you were taxed. What? How much? This would happen to me now. It varied I think, depending on how much they earned.

Right. It was a percentage tax. But if you were a single man who had proposed to a woman Oh, that's a loophole. She had rejected you. Yep. You didn't have to pay the tax. Oh yeah, that's a loophole. She had rejected you. Yep. You didn't have to pay the tax. Oh, yeah, that's the loophole. So a business started where these professional rejecters

would go and live with me and all expenses paid. Yeah. For a few months. Oh, so you had to do the backstory. Yeah. Like Fletch couldn't just propose to me and I'd be like, ooh, yuck, no. Oh, you don't have to say ooh, yuck.

I don't think any proposal rejections are met with, ooh yuck, no. Oh, you don't need to say ooh yuck. I don't think any proposal rejections are met with ooh yuck, no. Right. Just a hard no. Not even a hard no, just say no. How would you have proven that in the early 1900s? You couldn't fake up some Facebook photos. Yeah, couldn't fake up

photos and everything. I guess mail to that address. Yeah, right. But then also you think about Argentina, very Catholic country. So living together pre-marriage would also be frowned upon. Yeah, right. So maybe it was just, you know, you got seen in public a few times. Yeah, right. Or people could vouch for you.

But so these women would go and live with the men or be seen with the men for a few months, then say he had proposed to them. Yeah. And they had said no. Right. Because they didn't see the relationship as a long-term solution. And the men then would have an exemption to the tax.

Did they just think that these women had special powers and after a couple of months over and over they get proposed to? Oh, two months and you get proposed to again? Oh, yeah. Well, you might have to again? Oh, yeah. Well, you might have to stand down. There might be a stand down period. Yeah.

Like you've just been proposed to, the woman. You've got to wait at least six months. And you could do both jobs, I suppose. Yeah. You could carry on with your normal job. Yeah. And then just be living with a dude or getting taken out for dinner and stuff. So was that the idea? Was that to get more babies made for population growth?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They wanted to grow the population, so they thought if they taxed men that they would marry unhappily, I guess. Yeah, right. Why don't they just pay you if you have a baby? Yeah, that's a better idea. Give you money if you have a baby. Give you a tax break.

Yeah. Or a little bit of a refund. Yeah. If you have lots of babies. Although I bet that tax is probably still less than you'd spend on like, I don't know, having a wife. Yeah. Like, what? Is that why you're not into it? Very

expensive to keep. That's why I fleshed out short term rentals. Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm like DTR with fridges. But no one's renting to own. What, you're paying for it, and if they miss a payment, you send around the heavies. Yeah.

I don't know. That's weird, but I'm on board. So today's fact of the day is in the early 1900s, to avoid paying tax, the single man tax, Argentinian men would hire a woman to propose to and she would say no. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Joined in studio by host of Have You Been Paying Attention, Hayley Sproul. When you said host, I thought you were going to say Hayley Sproul. That's an interesting pronunciation. Simon Bridges pronunciation. Hayley. Hayley Sproul. G'day, guys. How are you?

Good, good. First of all, I got you some eggs. Did you? I always intend to bring eggs to have you been paying attention, but there's so many people, you feel bad picking up one person to give eggs to. And then you've always got to give me eggs because I'm the one that gives you these containers. You give me the containers.

Oh, these are your eggs. I mean, the eggs. Oh, you just said I was giving you eggs. These are eggs from my chickens. Well, I thought you just sort of went to the supermarket and thought, I've got to get Hayley a gift. Because you saw the best before 15th. That date's approaching.

He's overbought eggs. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. Oh, look, they've even got a bit of hay on them. Yeah, that's... That's legit. That's legit. Do you know, apparently,

some egg places that say that they're free range, they stick little feathers on... ...to make it look a bit organic. A bit free rangy. Yeah. Have you done that with this? I was going to joke I just glued those on, but now I feel like, no, I didn't. Well, thank you very much for these eggs.

They shall make a fine omelette. Oh, they do. I can vouch for them. They're very good eggs. They're very good. How'd you spend your summer? I mean, I know the answer to this. I'm only asking for the benefit of people listening.

Yes. I spent the summer renovating my house. Oh, okay. I painted the exterior of my house with my mum. And your mum actually named the colour?

Yeah, my mum's name is Patsy. Yeah. And the colour of my house is Patsy's Grey. And what she did is she just took a bit of, because she's a renovator, took a bit of everything that was in her garage

and then took it to Resines and said that. Replicate this. Yeah and they put a little drop on a machine and they can make any colour so you could wear a t-shirt and be like I love this I want this to be the colour they did too. I've done that when I had a hole in my wall, I just ripped a little bit of the wall off and took it in and they gave me the exact same paint. Magic.

I love that, ripped a bit of my wall off. There was already a hole in it. True. What's the minimum? Because I remember taking a bit of it and they're like, no, you need to come back with a bigger piece.

It's about a 20 cent, maybe an old 50 cent coin size. Right. Maybe an inch in diameter. An OG 50 cent. Yeah, an OG 50 cent coin and they can just put the scanner on it. Yeah.

Boom. Yeah. They can all do that, eh? We're not like paid by Rosina or anything. No, absolutely. Waddle, Dulux, British Plains. I just go into either Mitre 10 or Boonings. Oh, they do it.

They both do it, yeah. Right, yeah. So there you go. Okay. Wow. That's that. So you painted the outside of the house. Paint chat.

Great chat, guys. I'll see you later. I mean, people are certainly going to be tuning in for, have you been paying attention tonight? Well, they want a little taste of Patsy Gray. Never say they want it. Fifty Shades of Patsy Gray. It is Fifty Sh taste of Patsy Gray. Never say they want it. Fifty Shades of Patsy Gray. It is Fifty Shades

of Patsy's Gray. Yeah. Has Patsy read Fifty Shades of Gray? I don't want to know that. Your mum has. My mum has and I think your mum

is significantly spunkier than my mum. My mum is very modern. Quite progressive. She's very progressive. I think she probably would have seen the movies. Oh, okay.

Haven't we all out of curiosity? I haven't seen any of them. No, I haven't seen them. Oh seen the movies. Oh, okay. Haven't we all, out of curiosity? I haven't seen any of them. No, I haven't seen them. Oh, I have. Okay, yeah, right. I got tricked into seeing Twilight. That was enough.

I haven't seen a single Twilight. Awful. Yeah, I know. Truly, truly awful. I don't have to say it to know that. Truly awful. Tonight on television, 8.30. We've been bumped.

We've been bumped for The Bachelorette, which is fair. Yeah. You know, that's a great show. Are been bumped for The Bachelorette, which is fair. Yeah. You know, that's a great show. Are you hooked on The Bachelorette? I am. And I did an episode. I was on it the other day. You did the baking.

I did a baking comp with the gals. I must say, TVNZ's seamless integration of other TVNZ shows into all other TVNZ shows. It's so subtle. On our show tonight, we've got The Bachelorettes and we've got Keita and Nikita from... House of shows. It's so subtle. On our show tonight, we've got The Bachelorettes and we've got Keita and Nikita from...

House of Drag. Keita and Anita from House of Drag. Right, okay. Seamless. All that synergy. The show tonight at the later time of 8.30

and if you would like to be in the studio audience because it is filmed live, I've gone a couple of times. Mostly when Tom Sainsbury's there. He's my favourite. Well, he's on tonight. I know, I didn't get, Vaughan didn't get me

tickets this time. I told him he has to come to an episode without Tom. Are you a huge Tom fan? I'm a huge Tom fan. He's on fire tonight. Great. He's literally on fire. Yeah. We've got to evacuate it again. That gets put out though. So yeah, your chance to go along and see it. It's

filmed on Tuesday evenings. If you would like to be in the live studio audience, text Smith, as in Vaughan Smith, because Vaughan's too hard to spell. I said, why don't they do HYBPA? But it's too much. But then apparently someone out here is like, people struggle with acronyms. And people think that it's, are you paying attention?

Will you be paying attention? Okay, so you can text Smith to 9696. We'll fire back a link where you can get studio tickets for Have You Been Paying Attention? And you can text Patsy's Grey to 9696 and you'll get a sample. A colour swatch. A colour swatch.

A swatch. It's going to be the Resine's colour of the season. Yeah, brilliant. You feel like home and garden. Yeah. So is it like a light grey? No, it's quite a deep grey. You put it on, you see you put it on and it's quite light and then it dries down

quite deep. So what did you do the trim in the roof as? White. Oh, okay. Yep, fresh poppin' windows and doors. Doors are black.

But a white roof? No, no, no, no, no, red roof. Oh, red roof. Red roof? Red roof. What is it, an old tile roof? No, no, no, no, it's a corrugated iron. Red corrugated iron? Like a deep corrugated red. Yep, so, well, okay, red roof. Oh, red roof. Red roof. What is it, an old tile roof? No, no, no, it's a corrugated iron.

Red corrugated iron? Like a deep corrugated red. Well, okay, text Patsy's grey and we'll fire back photos of the roof and the trim as well. Is it a grey based in blue or a grey based in black? I would say it's a grey, almost based, sort of purply brown, like it's very deep. Outlandish. We'll put a photo online. Yes, I want to see it.

We say that all the time and we never put photos online. It's just an easy thing to say, isn't it? We'll put a photo online. Yes! I want to see it. We say that all the time and we never put photos online. It's just an easy thing to say, isn't it? We'll put that online. People are going to search Patsy's Grey. Let's see what that currently returns. It used to, the house used to be banana yellow, forest green and burgundy. So that was

very therapeutic to cover that. What came up for Patsy's Grey online? Oh, JonBenet Ramsey. Okay. She has, Patsy Sproul has nothing to do. Is your mother JonBenet Ramsey? Are you JonBenet Ramsey? I've got to go.

I've got to go. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. You would agree, lately, it's been a little sticky. Apart, well, I mean, it's still warm. I'm just thinking right down south where there's flooding at the moment. Oh, yeah.

By the way, quite a few areas called to evacuate today, including the lovely country and western capital of Gore. So that's quite serious. Horrible, yeah. Hope everybody's safe, looking after each other and themselves. But it has been stifling hot around the country of late, especially at night time. Last night at 9.30 in Auckland, it was 25 degrees.

God, that's nuts, eh? I've got a ceiling fan now. It's weird, it surprises us every year. I know, every year you're just like, God, it's so hot. But yeah, and there hasn't been a fan shortage yet. And normally there is. That surprised me. But is that more of a February, kind of a late March?

And it's also every second year when people are like, I need a good fan and they spend $30 on a fan and then that fan inevitably shits itself next summer. It's the summer after the one. So I think next summer we're due for another fan to get in. Yeah, right. But there was some tips on, I was reading online, the Daily Mail in the UK when they were suffering a heat wave

wrote an article on six simple tips to sleep better in the hot weather. This is from Res Sleep. Are they experts in sleep? Are they? Apparently they're experts in sleep. I'm just going to put these out there and then we can discuss whether or not they will work in your

situation. Okay, go. Number one, keep your windows open. People think closing your windows keeps the heat out, but of course... You could do this because you live in the middle of nowhere in the country. I could not do this, however. Why? Because mosquitoes would welcome themselves into our room in their droves.

You keep one of those oldie time beds with the mesh over it. A mosquito net? Yeah. My mum still has a Spira. What's that? You plug it in the wall and it's in the wall. Oh, they don't work, do they? And she swears by them. She brings it with when she's coming to our house. She's BYO Spira.

Wow. But yeah, because while I live in the city, so opening the window, you get all the noise. Right. Especially when you go to bed, like I go to bed early, so people are still up making noise. Buses are honking. Yeah, right. People are doing skids. Technically work in your area. No. In your area. Mosquitoes or city noise. Yeah. are honking. Yeah, right. People are doing skids. Technically work in your area. Mosquitoes or city noise.

But I guess if you, maybe you had mozzie nets up because a lot of some windows have some mesh to stop the mozzies. That could work. Yeah, that could work. Keep your window open.

Yep, okay. Number two, the next one. This is ridiculous. Freeze your sheets. Okay. Yeah, getting into a damp bed, bad idea. Yep. But freezing your dry sheets.

Who is... What do you... Like, fold them up, put them in the freezer. Fold them up, put them in a plastic bag and put them in the freezer for a while. But then you put them on the bed, they're only going to last cold. They'll be warm as.

It's like finding the cool side of the pillow. You'll warm it up in no time. How good is the cold side of the pillow? I've got a pillow that can only go one way. It's a neck support pillow. Oh, no, I don't like it. I can't flick it. It's stupid.

That's why I don't get those pillows, because I want the cold side of the pillow. I haven't enjoyed the cold side of the pillow for a long time. Oh, my God. You simply must get a new pillow. I simply must wake up with an extremely sore neck for 10 to 15 seconds of a cold face. Keeping pets off the bed is number three.

Well, I guess having someone else in the room or extra living things in the room is going to increase the temperature. And they're hairy and woolly and warm. And if they're sleeping next to you, apart from those Sphinx cats, but then I wouldn't want to sleep next to those because you'd wake up and you'd think

your scrotum had fallen off and now it was on your face. Yeah, I don't know why people like those hairless cats. They're real ugly, eh? That's so yuck. But they love them. They do. They love them.

They're like, they're so beautiful. I think it's an illness. I think I've got something not quite. Something's all right. The wires upstairs are a little crossed. Yeah. Number four is body position. Now, this kind of makes sense, but I hadn't really thought about it.

I myself have been sleeping more on my back with my arms and legs spread, a little starfishy. Starfishy, yeah. A little starfishy because there's more body surface exposed to the air, and air circulation gets around and touches more parts of your body. Because when you're on your side and you're curled up, you're kind of in a warmth position. But I like to be on my side curled up.

Because you know I'm a big, big spoo-spoo. I've said this, I'm a big spoon. That's one of my favourite positions. But I'll sleep face down but starfish. What? Like face down. What do you do with your face? Like I'll put it on the side of my pillow

And I'll put my hands up Oh don't you wake up with a stiff neck? Nah Oh god If I accidentally like Drunkenly pass out face down And like tilt my head I wake up with such a stiff neck

I always sleep like that Or on my side But on my back's weird So you sleep with your ass in the air But you're still trying to tell me Your big big spruce coat You little your ass in the air, but you're still trying to tell me your big, big space car. You little... Good from you.

I'll give you that. Good from you. Turning off all the lights. Who's sleeping with the lights on? Yeah, I know, Yuri. You sleep in pure... Absolute darkness. Uninterrupted darkness.

Yeah. So, apparently, no lights on in the room helps the room stay cooler. Absolute darkness Uninterrupted darkness Yeah So apparently No lights on in the room Helps the room stay cooler Although I don't know What have you got A heat lamp in your room? Yeah

But you could have those Some people might have Those bulbs that they put You know when they cook Your food at the restaurant And they put it Under those bulbs Well they get the rest

Of the table's food Yeah Those bulbs Yeah Like a bathroom Yeah Heat bulb No one's got those In the bedroom do they. Yeah. Those bulbs, yeah. Like a bathroom heat bulb. No one's got those

in the bedroom, do they? Yeah. God, no. God, no. Your power bill would be through the roof. And you'd be just sweating all year round.

Yeah. You'd be like a homegrown tomato. And there'd be that bloody chef from the kitchen to come out and ring the bell all the time. And ding!

And then flick it off because the food's been taken. And our number six, loose-fitting pyjamas. Oh, who's wearing pyjamas in summer? I'm a nude sleeper. Even in winter, full nude. I'm boxers.

Yeah, right. Yeah, I'm topless. I tell you what, though, the last time the fire alarm went off in the apartment building, it's a struggle to find your undies at that time in the morning. Oh, yeah. When you're disorientated from the loud alarm. Yeah, you're face down, ass up, no undies.

The fire alarm goes off. Oh, what's happening? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.