ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 13th 2020

Episode Date: March 12, 2020

Vaughan got zapped.What was your Teen hustle?We talk to Jacinda Ardern.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Good lord, is it that time already? It's that time already. Oh, hello. I was just picking my nose and I got a rather hard booger to like the entranceway but now it's just

tickling me so I feel like I'm gonna sneeze. Oh god. Don't you hate when you have to abandon a nose mid-pick?

Here's a tissue. Here's a tissue. That is grim. That didn't get out. Also this is a job for the finger. Also no

it's we live in a corona world now you can't be picking your nose. Where'd it go? Oh, you're disgusting. Hey, this is what we're dealing with.

There's the brakes, kiddo. This is what we're dealing with today, is it? On Friday? I'm glad I sit nowhere near you. Yeah, you're the furthest away. Good for some, eh? Good for some. All right, on the show today, it's at $100,000,

our jackpot for ZM Secret Sound. All thanks to Save My Bacon. 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock this morning, your next chances to play. Joining us on the show today as well, the Prime Minister. That'll be after 8.30 this morning. We'll catch up with the PM. It's a pretty big time dealing with coronavirus,

ongoing drought, and of course on Sunday, the PM. It's a pretty big time dealing with coronavirus, ongoing drought, and of course on Sunday, it's one year since the horrific events in Christchurch at the mosque. So yeah, she'll join us after 8.30 this morning. Storytime's next. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast.

Alright you lot, listen up, it's storytime. Storytime, three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, odd, unusual news stories. Vaughan and Megan pick one headline only. Headline one, entrepreneurial 13-year-old sent home from school. Headline two, sausages flush out dog. And headline three, Japanese men improvising during coronavirus

those are your stories Japanese men improvising interesting one entrepreneurial send home from school sausages flush out dog yeah

I'm coming out I'm coming down too. Me too. Remember that ad? Yeah. Crunchy nut cornflakes? Yeah, I do. Do they still make crunchy nut cornflakes?

Oh, yeah, crunchy nut cornflakes. Flush them out. I'm coming down. I'm coming down too. Me too. I'm coming down too. What a great ad. I haven't had a crunchy nut cornflake for a while.

Is that ad still online? Can you try and find it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Crunchy nut cornflake. Do they actually still make them? That was the first ad I found out. That ad was all around the world, but they just changed the voices a little bit.

No. Because it still had a southern drawl to it. Yeah, right. I'm coming down too. Me too. Me too. Yep, here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go. I'm all plugged in. We know you're up there, son. Come and kill me. Kill me. He could be anywhere, Sheriff. Crush him out.

Kellogg's Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes, coated with honey, encrusted with nuts, and totally irresistible. I'm coming down. I'm coming down, too. Kellogg's Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes. They're giving themselves up because of the corn flakes. And I'm coming down too. Me too. I'm coming down too. They're giving themselves up because of the cornflakes. They can't resist. They can't resist the cornflakes. I'm coming down too.

Me too. I'm coming down too. How stupid. Why are we so jazzed with it? I don't know. That was a lot of fun there. I quite like the entrepreneurial. 13-year-old.

The entrepreneurial. Yeah. Okay, you want that one? All right, we go now to the UK, and this is a mum's Facebook post, which has made the news. I'll read the Facebook post. Okay.

Jenny, Jenny Tompkins, she wrote this on Wednesday. This is a picture of my teenage son just getting home from school. Why is he getting home from school at 10.53am, you ask?

Schools don't finish until 3pm. Huff emoji face. Well, the little turd has just been expelled from school for the day after being caught

charging students 50p for a hand sanitiser squirt to protect themselves from the bloody coronavirus. Hard to discipline this behaviour when his dad phones him from work to call him an effing legend. But that's only, the kids don't have to pay for it, right? No. They've made the decision to give him 50p.

Did he? Unless it was the school hand sanitiser and he yoinked it. Also, she said expelled for the day. That's just a suspension, isn't it? We're being stood down for the day. That's not expulsion. That means you can't make it back. Did he have to give the money back?

Apparently, he bought a bag of chips. And he was saving for a... Yeah, he bought a multi-pack of Doritos and is saving the rest to buy a kebab later, revealed the mum. The post had racked up over 200,000 likes. This was when this news story was published. It's probably got a lot more by now.

But yeah, many praising the kid for his salesmanship and his entrepreneurialism. Wow. Skills. Entrepreneurial skills. That's the thing, he should be. I heard that when the teachers found out it was him, he actually hid up on a cliff and the police came

and they were like, how are we going to get him down? And he's like, I'm never coming down. Jeez, you took a long time to catch on to what I was doing here. And then they were like, open the crunch in it. I'm coming down. I'm coming down too. Me too. You forget that money touches everyone's hands.

And so in China, obviously they are doing all they can to make things safer, including the banks disinfecting banknotes. Which is fine, right? Well, I mean, it would be fine here because our banknotes are plasticky, aren't they? So you could probably just run them through a... You could literally launder them in a disinfectant. True. Money laundering.

So they use ultraviolet light or high temperatures to kill them, and then they store them for up to 14 days before they put them back out. So they're like doing their best to... The thing about China, it started there because there's some wacky practices when it comes to wet markets and animal trade and storage of things you're going to eat. Yeah. But they've really had some solutions to trying to hand break it.

Oh yeah, like their cases have been on the decline. Hasn't there been zero new cases in one region for like 14 days and they're saying it's great news? It's good. So a middle-aged woman, she was in Jiangsu province. She decided that she would like steril, sterilise her own money. Okay. So, I don't know if she knew the practice that the bank went through,

like high temperatures. She decided that she would do the same and put them in the microwave. Yeah, that's not. How did that go? She didn't expect it to burn up, but what she got was a pile of cash and there's a big burn mark in the middle. So I would have been like, damn it, I've ruined those. She took them to the bank.

She took them to the bank and the bank couldn't, they have an authentication machine which couldn't authenticate them because it's so badly burned. They did it by hand. So they glued the, because they're really brittle. Yeah. They glued the notes to plain white paper so they could then count and authenticate the notes by hand.

And then they gave her back the money. Oh, wow. Okay. So she got her money back. Yeah. I wouldn't have even thought to do that. Because what's the deal of like your bank? Because have you ever had a bank note that's had a rip in it?

Damaged. Or like it goes in half and you're like well just sell or tape it up? Like is that still fine? I don't know if it's still I remember learning at school that you could take in

the serial number if it got ripped in half you could take in a half a $10 note as long as you had one serial number it would be worth $5. Oh it's only worth half?

I think so. No that's not a thing. And you could only provide one serial number. Well no you think about one serial number if you took in half And you could only provide One serial number Oh no you think about One serial number Yeah okay If you look at half

And you could only provide One serial number And you went and you were like I need this A new $10 note And they gave you $10 And then somebody else Took another

Yeah Where'd that Where'd that $10 come from bro Yeah Boom Wow So it's like $10 notes are like

Two fives Cause otherwise You'd tear up All your $10 notes And take them And then you'd double your money And then notes and then you'd double your money. Or you'd double your money. And where did that money come from, man?

I feel like that's not a thing. Who's losing out, man? Yeah, it wouldn't be a thing. The thing I'm most shook about Corona in the last 24 hours is the Tom Hanks news. Tom Hanks and his wife Rita in the Gold Coast of Australia tested positive for coronavirus.

I've hit the thing that we all love. Literally, this has just popped up. This is just fresh. What? Ireland is going into complete lockdown. Wow. This is breaking news. Ireland Prime Minister has made an announcement.

Schools, colleges and childcare services will close as of tomorrow and Ireland is going into complete shutdown until the 29th of March. So borders as well, so you won't be able to fly in or out. Cultural institutions will close as well. Any indoor mass gatherings of more than 100 people

or outdoor mass gatherings of more than 500 people should be cancelled. You can think about that. They're still a very Catholic nation. That would mean no churchies. Oh, no. You have a church from home.

What's going to happen? Skype in. Skype in? Probably. Probably online church services. Jesus' Skype. Just so if you want to add that. Holy Lord underscore 69.

Roxy, babe. Roxy, babe. Roxy, babe. Rip, kill Jesus 69. Crucifixion 69. All of these. He's got all of these. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Welcome to the Top Six. Today looking at things that have happened in the last day or the last few hours to do with coronavirus. It's all preventative measures at this stage,

isn't it? Yeah. That's another thing I'd like people shouldn't go crazy and riot and panic. Well, don't go and stockpile toilet paper. Don't go and stockpile toilet paper. Yeah. Because just use the shower instead.

But lots of self-isolation happening, as we just said just before, moments ago. Ireland's on complete lockdown until March 29th, so two weeks. Yeah, right. Ireland's going to schools and everything. Off. As a preventative measure. And the top six crazy things that are happening right now around coronavirus. Number six, Colin Hanks is keeping everyone updated on Tom Hanks' coronavirus status. Because Tom's over 60, so he probably only posts on social once a week.

Because that's how I saw the news was on his Instagram. Yeah. Tom, but do you not think Tom Hanks does his Instagram? No, no, no. Tom Hanks does his Instagram, but Colin Hanks, because everyone's messaging and commenting on Tom, and Tom's a boomer, so he just posts and then just puts his phone down. Yeah, right.

But he has to charge it in the pantry. Yeah. He turns it off when he charges it, too. But Colin Hanks, his son, has been inundated with questions about his dad's health so he's kind of taken it on board

to keep everyone updated. I hope they've given him an entire hospital wing. He's at home, isn't he? Yeah, he's self-isolating. Self-isolating at home.

But regularly reporting his conditions to a doctor. Right. He was in Australia when he caught it working on a yet untitled

Baz Luhrmann Elvis Presley movie. Really? Okay. I didn't know. So that one with Austin... The dude that used to go with Vanessa Hudgens. Austin Butler?

Yeah. He's playing Elvis. Speaking of which, it is Friday. Warren always looks up his Thirsty Thursday post from Vanessa Hudgens. No, I don't need to look them up anymore. It's because they always pop up at the top of the feed. They're in your algorithm. Instagram got it sorted.

Instagram's got you bad. Thanks, Instagram. Number five on the list of the things happening around coronavirus right now. The NBA is suspended. Yeah, so I would have thought they just sort of played games without crowds. Like a lot of sports are doing.

No, because it's not a problem with the crowds. Rudy Gorbett of the Utah Jazz tested positive for coronavirus. This was the guy a few days ago, rubbed his hands and like sweaty bits all over the microphones at the post-match press conference. And made a joke about having coronavirus. Made a joke about it. And his roommate has it, yeah.

So this is really interesting. A mate of mine who loves sports posted that in the last five days, the Uchar Jazz have played Toronto, who have played Sacramento, who have played Portland, Phoenix, Milwaukee, Denver. So these are all the teams because the NBA plays so many games a week. Yeah. And they travel so much to do it. They've pretty much played or come in contact with every NBA team.

Yeah. In some way or another. So they're pretty much all in quarantine. So that's why it's the season suspended, not just playing crowdless games. Yeah, right. Number four on the list, Donald Trump, of the crazy things happening around the coronavirus, Donald Trump who had previously said this was,

what was it, a democratic attention grab? It was a hoax, yeah. Yeah, it was a hoax. They were making a political stand against him. He's now labelled a foreign virus and banned all travel between the US and Europe. America is so screwed. That's the other thing. We've heard from people that just the fact that Donald Trump has spent so much of his

presidency telling people that science is wrong. Yeah. That so many people haven't been taking the precautions that scientists and experts in the field have been putting forward before now because of years of being told not to trust them because they're saying global warming's a thing

and he's saying it's not. Good luck with that, America. Number three on the list of the top six things happening around coronavirus right now. Movies, movie releases are being suspended. Yeah, well, James Bond got pushed, didn't it? Yep, James Bond, Peter Rabbit, Fast and the Furious 9, they're saying that's a whole year.

That was due to come out in May. Okay. That's going to come out in April next year now. A Quiet Place 2 has been delayed. That was literally going to be released this week. Yeah, next week. Was it in New Zealand? Yeah.

Because we got invited to a preview this week. So I'm not going to that preview then? No. No. Too much. Sad to say. And Disney's Mulan won't be released in China on the date, but waiting to see if it'll be released around the world.

Also, TV shows are affected under the same number. The Amazing Race production has been halted. Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune are filming without a studio audience. Survivor is like, no, we'll wait. And Late Shows are hosting without an audience. So Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, Daily Show with Trevor Noah on Comedy Central

are announced they'll all be filming without a live studio audience. Which is weird because they feed off the audience for their jokes. It's happened before, right? What made it happen before? There was a few of them that did it without an audience. And it was weird. I mean, they're weird. They'll just use canned laughter, right?

No, really. I don't think they do. Huh. I remember when they've done it before, it was really unusual. Okay. Number two on the list of the things that are happening around coronavirus right now, venues are shutting down. E3 has been cancelled.

That's the gaming event. Comic-Con in Emerald City, that's up in Seattle and Washington, has been postponed until summertime, which is great because that's when nerds sweat more and smell better. South by Southwest has been cancelled. Coachella, of course, been delayed. Oh, don't even. So, and you can kind of understand the mass gatherings thing.

Yeah, you can. And number one on the list of the things happening around coronavirus right now, Domino's Pizza have announced a zero contact delivery option. Is this in New Zealand or America? This is in New Zealand, yes. Wow, okay. How it works. For your peace of mind, you can choose a zero contact delivery option. Is this in New Zealand or America? This is in New Zealand, yes. Wow, okay. How it works. For your peace of mind,

you can choose a zero contact delivery. The delivery expert will place your order on the front door, knock, and move back to a safe distance. Okay. They will then see you pick up the pizza from said safe distance, acknowledge the acceptance, you'll return acknowledgement

in the form of a thumbs up. Yeah, right. Okay. And then you will go back inside. Right. Zero contact. Zero physical contact with pizza delivery people.

Do you have to pay more for that? Nope. It doesn't cost more. It's just when, and you can't pay cash because obviously that would be contact. Yeah, right.

You can choose it in app. Oh, right. You can choose it in-app. Oh, right. In-app, choose zero contact delivery. Are they going to keep this after coronavirus? I could, eh? I reckon a lot of these things that are being made to happen could totally stay around after corona's gone. That is today's top six.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Yesterday, busy week, guys, busy week. But anyway, my rule on naps is you've got to get them done early in the day or you won't be able to fall asleep at night. Yeah, right, okay. That's my nap rule. The earlier, the better.

Like sometimes we'll finish here, literally have nothing on, I'll race home and have a pre-lunch nap. How lush is that? Sometimes I have a 4pm nap. No! No, you crazy bitch! No, like half an hour. You're not like getting any deep sleep or anything. Okay, yeah. But it's too late.

2 o'clock is the cut off. So that was yesterday, me, 2 o'clock. I said to Shari, I just need a nap before the girls get home from school. Wake me up when you get them home from school. So that's just after three. So I had a couple of things to do. And then we had bangers bingo last night that I need to come back into town for.

So Sade said, yeah, I'll wake up when I get home. So I go and have a sleep. And then she wakes me up when she gets home. But she's like, oh, we did a couple of things after school. It's quarter past four. So I've had an hour more than expected. But I'm like, woke up. we did a couple of things after school. It's quarter past four. So I've had an hour more than expected. Oh, no. But I'm like,

woke up. You know those ones where you're like, what time is it? Where am I? You almost feel like a little bit drunk. Yeah. Or hungover or groggy. Shade asked me a question

that involved really basic math and I was like, I can't do it. I was literally like, three minus two. I was like, I can't do it. I was literally like three minus two. I was like, no. The brain capacity. She didn't ask me to work out three minus two because she couldn't,

but I only had the three and the two. She said, what was that and how much do we need? That basically. Yeah, right. So I was like, I can't do it. But I knew I had things to do before I had to come back in for work. Yeah. So I was like, I've got things to do.

And I stumbled outside. One of the things, I had to move our sheep and our cows into another paddock. You had to move them. Cute. And I had to do it then. If I'd left it to today, it would have been bad timing. It wouldn't have been, but I just wanted to make the sheep pun. So I had to move them into another area because we've got the vet coming today.

And I was like, I walked up to the fence. I was like, hi, cows. And they were like looking at me. I was like, it's time to move paddocks. And so I went to climb over the fence and I grabbed the electric fence with both hands. And I didn't just like touch it. In one motion, I grabbed it and pushed it down as to stand over it. Because there's two wires there. One's the electric wire. Yeah. You're not touch it. In one motion, I grabbed it and pushed it down as to stand over it. Because there's two wires there.

One's the electric wire. Yeah. You're not touchy. No, no. It's a hard no. So, and the other one you push down and can step over. So I grabbed the wrong one and pushed it down. Oh.

I grabbed it with both hands hard and pushed it down. And that's when, because they click through. Yeah, right. That's it. hands hard and pushed it down and that's when, because they click through. Yeah, right. So I must have grabbed it just in the dead period, pushed it right down and it went, my elbow's locked and I was like, and it got me another one

on the way down and I was like, I just fell backwards and I was like, and I was awake. My brain had been kick-started and I was awake. Like my brain had been kickstarted. It was, everything was clear. The grogginess was gone. I was ready.

My arm, my elbows were sore. Because I guess when the shock went, they just like jolted. Yeah, right. Because all your muscles contract. Your key to waking up and not feeling groggy after a nap is to electrocute. One hell of a, or two hell of a bolts. Yeah, right. Okay.

Because when I bought the electric fence, we've only got a couple of hundred metres of electric fencing to get the goats from jumping the fence, mostly. When I went in, I could buy a unit that was like a small unit. Yeah. But the one that could do 10 kilometres of fencing, so significantly more than we've got, was on special and only cost like $15 more. So I was like, I'll just get that one.

But I've had a couple of whackers buy it. It's a serious unit. So you should have got the cheap one. If you live near a farm or just go and grade that electric fence if you're feeling a little bit groggy. You should just do it when you wake up in the morning. No, shit, I would run here. I will give this COVID-19 situation one thing. COVID.

Why do you say COVID? Did they not take the R from Corona? That's why someone at the Word last weekend was hitting me up about it. Where did they get that from? And I was like, COVID, C-O-R, Corona. And they were like, no, it's COVID. And they were trying to tell me that I was wrong. Well, you were.

Yeah, I was. I was also quite boozed. So, you know. So COVID-19, yeah, the memes. Leave it up to humanity to be facing quarantine and be like, I've got a good one. I've got a good one, yeah. I just saw one, the original lineup of the Spice Girls.

Yeah. And it says, if you want to be my lover, you've got to wash your hands. That's posh spice. Scary spices avoid touching your face. Yeah. Baby's posh spice. Scary spices, avoid touching your face. Yeah. Baby spices, avoid crowded places. Ginger spices,

avoid public restrooms and sporty spices. Work from home if possible. Are they working with the lyrics? It doesn't sound that good. No, it doesn't. You gotta wash your hands. Avoid touching your face.

Avoid crowded places. No, it's a bit of work to make it work. Yeah, right. And this is actually news. The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. So to be clear.

Oh, I can't wait to tell Leo. To be clear, who let the dogs out? You ruined the meme, Megan. Talking about your stupid dog. That's a good one though. Who Let the Dogs Out. I liked it. Do you see that?

There were quite a few Tom Hanks ones as well. There was a picture of Tom Hanks as the captain from that. What was that movie where he's? Captain Phillips. Captain Phillips. And it was the image of coronavirus over his head. Over the pirate's head. Yeah, and it's like, I am the captain now.

Because that's a famous line from that movie. I know. Yeah, I know. The captain of Tom Hanks' body. Yeah. That's a bit mean. I liked the picture of him from Castaway with Wilson. It's like day 12 of isolation.

Yeah, but do you know that went viral and everyone's like, Tom Hanks has a great sense of humour while in isolation. Like people believed that that was happening. Oh. Well, no, that makes me look sad. He doesn't have Wilson in isolation. He's got Rita.

Yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I want to talk about your teen hustle soon. Maybe you had a little money-making scheme. You were a young entrepreneur, but outside the boundaries. Yeah, British Scoreboy's gone viral, trying to make some money off the back of the COVID-19,

coronavirus situation that's happening at the moment. Soundkeeper Gary, good morning Good morning Oh, you sound very stern today Matter of fact Matter of fact A little bit tired today Yeah, was that your bingo night last night? Yeah, I did notice you had a couple of shandies.

Yeah. I remember we said to you, slow down, because you've got to be here at 7am for Secret Sound. Yeah, you did. And then the last round, I gave up halfway. My songs weren't coming in. You packed a sock and went home. Yeah.

Enough, you popped. Yeah. It's still dark about it. All right, well, the jackpot is $100,000. Erin, good morning. Hi. All right, well, you'vepot is $100,000. Erin, good morning. Hi. All right, well, you've managed to do the hard, but you've got through. Yes, it's been so hard.

Okay. All right. My guess is that it's taking the lid of a reusable coffee cup on and off. Okay. Erin's not mucking around either. No, you're straight in there. It's a no-nonsense variety. So I guess that could be the sound, right?

Like the ear. What do you think the crackle part is, though, at the end? I think it's like for the ridges around the cup. Right, so when it kind of unseals. The gasp is like the air being released. Okay. Some of those keep cups have intense lids. Yeah.

It would be a bit of a, you know, like a release. Erin. Yes. Erin, that is not what the secret sound is. I'm mucking around. All right, yeah. Okay, well, Erin, back to the drawing board. Eight o'clock is your next shot.

All thanks to Save My Back and Making Borrowing Better for Financially Responsible Kiwis. Your teen hustle is what we're going to talk about next on the show. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. We want to talk now, there's been a young man, he's made international headlines because he got sent home from school for selling hand sanitiser per squirt to fellow students in the current climate. 50p, so like a dollar.

So he was saying to students at school, I'll give you a squirt of hand sanitizer for a dollar. I think that's so entrepreneurial. And the school should have maybe told him off. Yes, he's not. And said stop doing that. But like at least say, well, that's very entrepreneurial. Profiteering off panic is morally questionable.

Well, a lot of companies do it anyway, don't they? Companies do it. Companies do it every day. Yeah it anyway, don't they? Companies do it. Companies do it every day. Yeah. But he wasn't forcing them to buy it. No. Yeah, no. No, but he got in trouble.

Where he got it from, we're not sure though. Because he said he spent some of the money on chips and he was saving up for a kebab. So did he have enough money in the first place to buy a big hand sanitizer or did he nick it from somewhere? He might have. Might have nicked it from the school supplies.

Or taken it from home. So there might be more to it. But it got us talking about the hustles. When you're a kid, you know, when you come up with an idea, you're like, I'm going to sell something. Megan was telling us about Mr. Toyboy when he was, was this back in South Africa? Yeah, so they lived in South Africa, kind of inland.

So they didn't have a beach. They didn't have any. I know, like, they lived in South Africa, kind of inland, so they didn't have a beach. They didn't have any... I know, like, you forget in New Zealand that people live inland and don't see the ocean. So his mum was a nurse and she'd bring home test tubes. It was like ones that you get blood tests in.

They have a little stopper. What, she'd just rinse them out? They would be unused, right? I think they were unused. With the HIV rate of South Africa, I sure as hell hope that they were unused. I'm sure they were unused. He would put a little bit of sand or dirt in the bottom and then some kind of twiggy branch thing and fill it up with water

and then went to the market and sold them as beach in a tube. Beach in a tube. Yeah. That is the cutest thing ever. I don't know how many he sold. Did you get any photos of him with his little beach in a tube. Yeah. That is the cutest thing ever. I don't know how many he sold. Did you get any photos of him with his little beach in a tube? No.

How much did he sell them for, do you know? No, I don't know the equivalent. It would have only been 20 cents or something ridiculous. Right. But. That is pretty adorable. That's pretty cute. Yeah.

You would have just been buying it to be like. To be nice to the. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I, like I had after school jobs, but I didn't, like I was too lazy to be entrepreneurial. Yeah, me too. As a school kid. Like I was just like, well, that's a lot of effort. I'm not bothering with that.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like I just got a, like a after school job delivering like junk mail and just would bury them or set them on fire. Like that's how lazy I am. I didn't even want to do my job. Right.

So you weren't going to be like. I wasn't going to be the entrepreneurial kid raiding fruit trees and selling. Nah. That was a problem I remember growing up. The kids that were selling the fruit were actually just stealing all the fruit from other people's fruit trees. Oh, really? They were hoping to steal just enough from each of the people in the neighborhood so they wouldn't notice. Yeah, it's pure profit.

If you're stealing everything you're selling, isn't it? No capital they wouldn't notice. Yeah, it's pure profit. If you're stealing, everything you're selling, isn't it? No capital. No overheads. Yeah. They were just selling it from a table

that the parents already had in the garage. We want to take calls now and ask you if you were entrepreneurial as a teenager and what was your side hustle? Yeah.

And how did you make some money? Maybe you made a little business or you set up a lemonade stand? Yeah, I wish I'd done something when I was younger, but for CBF. Yeah. And like,

how much money did you make? Like, maybe it was just enough to, you know, buy something you wanted or it was just enough to buy some lollies. And then like, you start making some more money

and you get enough money to buy what you wanted so you just always stop, day. Yeah. That's enough. You're like, done. I've got enough for a pie. Done.

Now I've got enough. Ours was a Sega Master System or something. Oh, right. We had enough money to get that and the Sonic game we wanted, we were done. You were out of business. What about those chores? Let's do more chores. No, mum, we've got to play this game that we've worked hard to earn and now we never

go outside again. Kids got satisfied. When you get older, we're just like, never satisfied. You got to play this game that we've worked hard to earn. And now we never go outside again. Kids got satisfied. When you get older, we're just like, never satisfied. You're never satisfied. You're always chasing more. Yeah. All right. Well, 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696.

Give us a call. What was your hustle when you were a kid? What were you selling? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Uh-oh. Excuse me. Did you just? Why did you not put your? It snuck. Excuse me. Did you just... Why did you not put your...

It snuck up on me. Why did you not put your hand in your elbow? I didn't know it was going to happen. I thought I'd beaten it. It had disappeared. Of course, if anyone's going to get it, it's definitely going to be you. Jesus. I'll see myself out.

Hey, have fun two weeks. No, cough into your elbow. Love you guys. Think of me often. No, you'd be the type of person that would get a cold and be like, I've got coronavirus. Yeah, you would. You can't be too careful.

Oh, my God, I've stubbed my toe. It's corona. Shitty timing. I had that awful sinus infection pre-corona panic. That would have been an easy two weeks off. We're not one day off. Right. A school kid in the UK has gone viral.

He's been sent home from school for selling squirts of hand sanitizer for 50p, a dollar. And it's got us talking about those side hustles you had as a teenager. Those little ways that you tried to make some money. You know, not just a job. It was entrepreneurial kind of stuff that you were doing. And this text message sums up dairy farming. Okay. When I was 12, I sold my cow tail trimming services for a dollar a cow.

Now, that's not cutting the tail off. Oh, okay. The tail can get a little shitty. Oh. And then when you're milking the cows, the tail gets flipped around and you get a smack in the face with a shitty tail. It's not very nice. Okay.

So they would, for $1 a cow, go around and trim the tails of the cows. Oh, okay. The cow would still have the tail, but it would not be covered in dags and stuff. That's not enough. I'm not doing it for a dollar a cow go around and trim the tails of the cows. The cow would still have the tail but it would not be covered in dags and stuff. That's not enough. I'm not doing it for a dollar a cow. They would be milking the cows. I'll just keep a tally of how many I did each milking. As soon as I did a few the farmer would just get me back the next day to do the

whole herd. I did herds of 200 to 600 cows. I did it for the entire summer holidays and I made bank. $600? That's actually really slowly you'd get a group rate though. No, dollar a cow, and I made bank. $600? That's actually really... Surely you'd get a great rate, though. No, dollar a cow, that's the guy. Oh, no way.

You don't undercharge yourself. Janelle, what was your side hustle? Hiya, I had a side business of a little beauty kind of business. Okay. I gave my family little massages. I negotiated with them, so it started off about $2, and then they negotiated me down to about $1.50 or $1.50 to make it into the foot massage.

Wow, okay. And so how old were you when you were running this massage foot business? I was younger than a teenager. I probably would have been about seven or eight. Right, okay. And it's good because you don't have to pay tax. You know, if there are any seven or eight-year-olds listening, this is what I get my, they don't charge me.

I hope they don't start. Yeah, I used to give massages and not get paid. But I lie on the ground and they walk on my back and they're just the perfect weight where it doesn't hurt. And the balls of the feet get right into all the, like, little bits. I'm going to tell them they should start charging you. Shut your mouth. Next time I see her uh henry what was

your uh teenage side hustle um so when i was at school they stopped selling fizzy drinks at the tuck shop so what me and my brother did we asked our mum to go and buy us um the 30 pack of like cocaine. Yeah. So what we started to do is we started selling them for $2.50 at just around the school. And like people would come with, but what we did know is one of the other teachers was doing the same thing and he was selling it for $3.

So we were trying to, we were undercutting them. You were undercutting them. Wait, so the school was like, we're going to be healthy and we're going to ban fizzy drinks and a teacher decided to sell fizzy. Yeah.

And then, so, you know, people would come to us with like $3 and they're saying, oh, do you sell it for $2.50? We're like, yeah. And they're like, oh, here's our $3

and we'll be like, oh, sorry, bro, we don't have change. Yeah, good. Good, good. So you're getting it for the same price but you're under, oh, here's our $3. And we'll be like, oh, sorry, bro, we don't have change. Yeah. Ah, good. Yeah, good. So you're getting it for the same price, but you're undercutting the other cell. So how much money did you end up making?

Oh, we were rolling in a day. I want to know. This is just crazy. I want to know where the teacher was selling the fizzy from. Oh, he had a back classroom, like his office. So one day, he had a back classroom like his office. So one day he had to stop though. My brother and I had to stop

because we called into his classroom at just a random lunchtime. And then he's like... He muscled you out of this black market. You were muscled out of the black market

going by a teacher. Yeah, he goes, boys, you guys are stealing some of my customers. This is how gangs work with drugs. Yeah. I believe.

Yeah. He goes, oh, you guys are stealing some of my customers, so I'm going to buy the rest of your things, and we're not going to do this anymore. And I'm like, oh, okay, soon. Thank you. I can't believe that. Holy shit.

He bought you out. It was effectively, that was a business merger. I mean, if this was drugs, he would have shot you both and put your bodies in a forest somewhere. Yeah, or you just wouldn't have taken him seriously. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. That is ruthless.

I love it. I really want to. Wait there, Henry. Ask him what school he went to. Yeah, that's shocking. I need to know. Just to avoid my children ever going there. I need to know off the record what school he went to. Yeah, that's shocking. I need to know. Just to avoid my children ever going there. I need to know off the record what school that was.

Mark, what was your side hustle as a teenager? I used to get all the signatures from the kids in my class as parents, and then I used to forge signatures for cut shop food for the year. Wait, so you would see one, like if a kid had a note that was genuinely signed by their parents, you'd say, I need to see the signature. You'd copy it? Then I'd copy it

and then I'd just practice and practice and practice and then whenever they wanted a day off school or get out of class or something, I'd use the first note. Because that's the hard thing

about forging a signature is like you get real worried when you're doing it, eh, and you go slow, but it needs to be free-flowing so it looks nice. And then I got caught about three quarters of the way through the year. We had to hand our books in.

And I forgot I had all the signatures in the back of my book, and then I got sprung. Oh. How much tuck shop food had you reaped in that time? Oh, mate, I had never had to buy lunch for probably three quarters of the year. Chubby little butter if you live on canteen food too. Brilliant. Hey, Mark, thanks for your call, mate.

There are so many, like, there are so many, and they're all along the vein of being super shifty. Yeah. We found out you could buy that Red Bull concentrate in those little bottles at the local Asian supermarket. It made about six drinks per bottle. So we were getting that for a dollar a bottle. Then we were mixing it with water that we

fizzed in our soda stream. And mum would have been paying for the soda stream fizz. And water's free. Why did I not think about doing that? And they were selling it for a dollar a cup. So now I can five dollars straight profit off each one of those little entrepreneurial. And they probably just would have been wiping the cup out and pouring it for the next person.

I sold parsley to the butchers for $4. The butcher's like, where'd you get that good parsley? And so I was like, I know where there's more parsley. And I became this parsley middleman for the butcher. We cleaned out our parents' entire garden one day in the school holidays when they were both at work and sold bunches of flowers at the end of the driveway for a dollar. We were drastically undercharging

so everyone was stopping for flowers. When mum and dad got home, we got such a hiding because their garden was just completely bare and ruined. But they'd made what, like 20 bucks? Yeah. Brilliant. Just so many of them.

So many of them. And somebody said, I remember the guys at school selling it and the teachers muscling them out. I know exactly what school that was. That was my school. What? That is the most insane story ever. I just still cannot believe that.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. It wasn't last night, it was the night before I went out for dinner with my wife, but yesterday when I recalled the story, I was so just talking about dumplings and bao, I got a bit carried away and forgot another thing that happened at dinner. And then I remembered yesterday, I told Fletch and he laughed a lot and then we both sat there and thought, okay, well, thatletch and he laughed a lot. And then we both sat there and thought, okay, well, that makes us feel a little bit old.

Because two young, I was waiting for like mum or someone to turn up to eat with them. Right. I was in like, the place is called Elliot Stables. Right. And it's like a food court, but each place is also like a mini restaurant, but then you can eat in the big food court in the middle. Yeah, it's a posh food court. Yeah. So I was expecting mum, but maybe mum and that were at another restaurant.

They look young, but not like kids young. Right. Older teenagers, 19-ish. Maybe first year uni students. Okay. But then when I was a first year uni student, the thought of eating out at a restaurant was well out of my budget. Restrictions.

Right. I just assume everybody was in my boat, but maybe not. Okay, so you and your wife are at one table. They're next to you. They're literally right next to us, but they hardly talk because they sit down, they've made their order, and they're just on their phones. Right, okay. And I don't care. I don't care if people are on their phones.

That's what. No, I'm just, no, I'm smiling. Oh, you pulled a face at me. Oh, did I? Sorry. Like you were being judgmental because they were on their phones, maybe's what? No, I'm just, no, I'm smiling. Oh, you pulled a face at me. Oh, did I? Sorry. Like you were being judgmental because they were on their phones, baby. You don't care. I don't care if they're on their phones.

That's their problem. They might have been hanging out all day. They might have been sick of each other. They're not at my table, yeah, and they were just going to get somebody to eat. Anyway, I don't know what, one of them was researching, and she was like, oh, my God. Did you know that my mum is older than Google? And the other one was like, she can't be.

Your mum's not even that old. And she was like, you are not going to believe this. But did you know before 1998, there was no Google? And she's like, what? That means my mum's older than Google too. How old's the internet? That's what the other one said. How old's the internet?

And she's like, hold on a look. And she's like, phew, okay, the internet's been around since like the 1960s. Yeah, because the military invented that, didn't they? And then she's like, waiting, wait. Okay, so not everyone was using it in the 1960s. That's a hell of a conversation to witness. What? I suppose that's why they wrote letters.

And I just watched these two. And I was, Shani and I were just eyeballing it. We're witnessing one of the greatest awakenings in these two young females' lives. Because was it one of those looks where you're like, don't talk because we need to keep listening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just heard the woman over the back of Sade,

she said, can I get another wine? And the woman said, oh, you have to come downstairs and pay for it because it's like a food court. And she's like, oh, no, no, I want one for nothing because I accidentally dropped mine when I was looking for a table outside. Which we were just like, oh, yeah, that's good stuff. I'll watch this unfold.

And the girl came back and she's like, I'm sorry, we can't give one out for free if you dropped it outside there because that's not on us. And she's like, who is it on? You. And she's like, and obviously the customer was right, so you don't want to say you. She's like, I guess you could take it up with the entire food court management. Where would I find them?

I'm like, over a glass of wine? Come on, Karen, eat your meal. It's getting cold. So we've just had that, and now we're witnessing two girls whose minds are just boom. And I guess they've grown up never having to think about it. It's always worked. It's always been there.

Yeah. This is what it's like in my relationship. I had to explain what encyclopedias were. I tried to explain that to my kids. So you're explaining it to your husband and I'm explaining it to my 8-year-old and my 5-year-old. Encyclopedias was beyond. That's all you had. Yeah.

They were like, how many books were there? I was like Well most letters Of the alphabet Had their own book But I think M had two Is it M that had two Because there were so many words

Under M Yeah How would you find it? Would you be like Open it and be like Book I'm like no They weren't voice activated books

Yeah And then So what did the girls What else did they say? They were just mind-blowing. Yeah, it's because they were like, people weren't using

the internet until like the mid-90s. She's like, I suppose that's why they wrote letters. Like, it was so,

Yeah. If I could watch someone have that sort of insightful, revelationary conversation every day, I would. It was so fascinating. Yeah, right.

Just to watch them learning about something they'd always taken for granted. Yeah. Oh, it was great. It made me feel old because I can literally remember. 1998 was Google. That's when Google started. Yeah, 98.

We were all asking Jeeves and Dogpile and there was a whole lot of search engines. Yahoo used to be the go-to search engine. It just fell by the wayside. Alright, it's 18 minutes away from 8. Next, we're going to speak to someone who we actually spoke to a year ago after the mosque attacks. Someone who lost

someone in those attacks. Raoul joins us next. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It was almost a year to the day that we had Raoul on us next. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It was almost a year to the day that we had Raoul on the phone, friend of the show, after the mosque attacks. You lost someone close to you and you very generously gave your time and spoke to us then. Good morning. You're in studio today. How are you? Good morning, yeah. It's still very weird.

Yeah. Still, I don't know if it's any easier, but yeah, I guess good to chat to you guys today. How does it feel that year? I'm guessing in some aspects it's felt like an eternity and in others it must feel like it's gone by in a blink of an eye. Yeah, correct. Very bizarre. The first three months were very overwhelming just to share support, not just for myself, for community, for everyone really. And just daily so much love and support. People made that kind of grieving a little bit easier.

But I guess grieving is like a mountain, you know, you go up and then you go back down and then you kind of learn a bit more and get better. The next six months, you know, there's some nice little individual stories. And then as we get closer to kind of the anniversary, it kind of picks up again. So it has been tough, but just everyone sharing that love has made it a little bit easier. So coming up to a year on, how can we still support the community? What can we do better even as a nation? Yeah, I guess just keep that support up. Just keep asking any questions.

If you have any questions, if you want to learn anything else, please, by all means, keep asking Muslim community any questions you might have. Don't worry that you're going to offend someone or that you might do something wrong. If your actions are genuine, people will see that like we have been. And I'm sure we'll keep embracing people as we have been. There certainly, I think, has been this aura and mystique

around the Muslim community and people are a bit worried they might kind of offend us. But no, I think certainly in that time, people have shown that people have supported us and we have extended that out as well. So by all means, if you want to keep wearing the hijab or you want to just keep asking questions, learning some more, by all means, go ahead.

I find that's a general sort of situation. We've got Stacey Morrison who works for the company and we were talking to her about Tadeo Māori and she said, everybody I know appreciates somebody trying. You might not get the pronunciation right the first time but it's a there's an appreciation for trying something that maybe you didn't grow up with maybe is you know hasn't been around you growing up and I felt that was the same with um after we talked to you last time and after um the horrific events last year it did open up

to becoming you know an everyday thing to ask a few questions Yeah, and I think no one's going to be offended. And they'll be quite appreciative that people actually are genuine and want to know. Something you said the other day is something ticked off in your mind. You want to understand a bit more about the halal process. And you probably saw it's quite similar to how things are done on the farm. And instantly, just from that little bit of research, it broke down that mystique or that aura that existed

just from asking that question. And so no one's going to be offended if you want to know a bit more and people can help you understand that a bit more. And Megan, we spoke about the hijab and you asked where my mum gets her hijab from and I said, she just buys them from farmers. It's just a normal scarf.

And so it's just little bits and pieces like that that people do appreciate. If you kind of extend that arm, we'll give you the hug back as well. Yeah. So what is on the cards for you this Sunday? Yeah, I guess it is, there's kind of almost a Friday reminder. Each Friday, you know, we do go down to make our Friday prayers.

That kind of reminder is there that I'm making the same drive that people did as well. But apart from that, we have, the Muslim community has kept up their consistency. We still do keep our prayers up. We still show the same love and support and I hope we're still as open as we were on March 15th. I'm sure there's prayer meets

and kind of gatherings all around the country, but it's just what we do from here now is really important, I think, too. Yeah. Awesome. Well, thanks for coming in. Thanks for sharing your time and answering our questions, like you say, like not even on air. Yeah. Been our go-to for a few questions. So thanks. I really appreciate your time today. No worries. Yeah, look, and it's been really amazing. I just want to thank New Zealand in general, really,

the way people have shown love and support has really made the screening process easier for everyone. And I think that, you know, like I hope, whenever this is spoken about in history, I'm sure the text will be spoken about in one conversation, but as another conversation, I hope that New Zealand will be used as a case study of how a country can really rally together

and how people can support and show empathy and love and respect for one another and how from such darkness, such light can come out. So I hope that we just keep this moving forward. Thanks so much, Ro. Awesome. Thank you, guys. So it was a year ago. We were all pretty hurt and confused as a nation,

and we just put the feelers out and asked you, our listeners, for your wishes and thoughts for the people affected on March 15 last year. And the piece of audio that came from it was so powerful that we thought a year on we'd remember by playing it again. This is one of New Zealand's darkest days. It is clear that this can now only be described as a terrorist attack. To the Muslim community within Aotearoa New Zealand,

I stand beside you with my head bowed and my tears have been flowing, knowing that nothing I say or do will offer much. My heart goes out to the Muslim community of New Zealand and to Christchurch. May you find peace in this tragedy and feel the aroha of New Zealand for you. We love you and you're so welcome here. I am so sorry that it has taken such an event to show you that.

Our thoughts and our prayers are with those who have been impacted today. Christchurch was the home of these victims. I really hope that the victims here eventually feel safe again because we really want them to. To any Muslims here in New Zealand who may be scared to go out in traditional dress, I'm going to be that weird white lady smiling at you if we make eye contact. It's just my way of letting you know that I'm an ally. Our hearts are breaking with you. You are welcome here. You are wanted here here You're loved and you will be supported You're as much a part of this country as I am

We were not a target because we're a safe harbour for those who hate We were chosen for the very fact that we represent diversity Kindness Compassion A home for those who share our values. And those values, I can assure you, will not and cannot be shaken by this attack. Apologies don't change anything, but I am so sorry.

I won't be praying for any change, but I promise to take action wherever I have the opportunity to. This is not the crashchurch we know. This isn't what our country is about. We know this tragedy isn't you. We know New Zealand have been so hurt. But you will stand together and you will recover.

Christchurch, we will get through this. We've had some hard times and I know we will rise up again with love, compassion, strength and kindness. Keep your loved ones close and spread kindness. Our community is stronger than hatred ever will be. We can all come together and become better than this and stronger than this. To New Zealand, may this be a defining moment in our history, but not only for the tragedy that it is, but for the change it makes to our attitudes. May we be more loving, accepting and compassionate from this day on.

We are a proud nation of more than 200 ethnicities, 160 languages, and amongst that diversity we share common values. And the one that we place the currency on right now is our compassion. I love you and I'm sure it is happening. He aha te mea nui o te ao. He tangata, he tangata, he tangata.

Kia kaha. Kia kaha. Kia kaha and know that you're one of us. You are us, you always will be us. You are us. You are us. They are us. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan Warner Megan, the podcast.

Yep. Anything you want to add? Got a rip aurora of a Friday flashback. It's not in the log. Don't check. I've told the producers not to put it in until the last minute because you'd be trying to be all veto it. It is old and it is good. How old?

The album came out in 1980. We're not playing it. We are. This song. There's so many reasons why this is the week to play this song. Okay. Alright. All thanks to Save My Bacon, making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis $100,000. As the jackpot soundkeeper, Gary, good morning.

Good morning, guys. The latest clue was about Dirty Dancing. Have you both had a chance to watch the film yet? No. I wasn't freeing up my time to watch Dirty Dancing so far, Gary. That's a classic. You need to. Yeah, I fought Princess Bride for a long time.

Oh, Princess Bride sucks. Okay, cool. Whoa. I know that's a... That's a terrible movie. That's a controversial decision. I'm not a huge fan of it, but I keep that to myself. It's a terrible movie.

It holds up. That's fantastic. It doesn't. Right, okay. So you've seen people interpreting these clues, that clue online. Are they even close? Yes, I would say they are close. And the money is the most it's ever been, so it's a good time to be close.

Okay, very true. You're talking very generally, Gary. Lauren, good morning. Good morning. Alright, Lauren, you've got... Wow, you've got through. So, that's the hardest bit. Some could also say the hardest bit is actually correctly

guessing the sound. But if you back yourself, the hardest bit is getting through. Yeah, so you're very close to winning $100,000. You got this. All right, so... I've got this. I do.

We need you to tell us what this sound is. Okay. I think it's the pop filter in front of the microphone. And Gary's gasping, like... I think it's the pop filter in front of the microphone. And Gary's gasping like, because it's so dirty. And then he wipes it down. So the pop filter for those, that's the big fluff. The foam thing that you see on top of microphones at like press conferences and on our radio mics. Some of them have them out.

Yeah, these ones don't actually have them. Stop you from going pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Please pass the peas. That's what they teach at radio school. Please pass the peas. Watch your plosives. Yeah. Is that what they're called?

Plosives. Yeah, you're meant to kind of turn your mouth off mic, aren't you, and go, please pass the peas. Pens, please. People care that much. Yeah, no, they don't care. Vaughan doesn't have great mic. I have the worst. Pens. People care that much. Yeah, no, they don't care. Vaughan doesn't have great mic. I am the worst.

Vaughan, you're too loud. And then I'll be like, you're too quiet. Just pop into the microphone. All right, so let's have a listen. So the... Yeah, okay. Notoriously unhygienic.

A pop sock. You're right, Lauren. Yeah. And Gloriously unhygienic. A pop sock. You're right, Lauren. Yeah. And it is not the secret sound. Oh, well. Okay. Yeah, well. Yeah, well.

Back to the drawing board. A moment's grief. Chances coming up throughout the day, 11, 1, 4, and 5. Well, thanks to Save My Back and ZM Secret Sound. ZM Online as well for those clues that we've had and the guesses that have been incorrect. So you can tick those off your list. Friday Flashback.

Thank you, Soundkeeper Gary. All right, Vaughan Smith, it's your turn this week to pick an old banger. It's got to be at least 10 years old. This one's easily that. It's 40 years old this year. It's older than all of us. It was the theme song for a movie that came out this year. Apart from Fletcher.

Oh, yeah. No, it's the same age. Same age. But even you would have been too young to remember its release. Okay. On vinyl. And maybe tape. What song are you playing?

This one's, as I said, from 1980. It was written by one of the stars of this movie. This movie is described as an iconic tentpole in feminist movies. It's about three hardworking women dealing with a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical, bigot of a boss. And I thought that it's been a week where Harvey Weinstein missed that exact bill. And he's been sentenced to 23 years in prison. See you later.

Other things I can tell you why I thought the song would be great to play this week is that people won't be working these hours as self-isolation and working remotely becomes a thing this week. And Dolly Parton, who is turning 75 next year, said she wants to return to Playboy. We are not playing Dolly Parton. We are 100% playing this song. We would never have let you away with this.

Ross is okay. I'm just hearing Ross Boss in my ear. He's just boomed in my right ear saying, play it, which is good to have his backing, but I didn't need it. And I don't... Play it. Okay. Can you get that to me?

No, that's... How often can he do that? Can we turn that off? He can do that every once. God, that's... So just Ross confirming, play the song. All right, let's do it then. That's terrible quiet.

That's so loud in our... I know, yeah. Yeah. She is iconic. If you haven't listened to the podcast Dolly Parton's America, you simply must. Today's Friday flashback. It's so good.

Nine to five, baby. Are you kidding me? Dolly Parton. We're doing it. Strap yourselves in a Friday flashback. ZM. Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen. Pour myself a cup of ambition

And yawn and stretch and try to come to life Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumping Out on the streets the traffic starts jumping With folks like me on the job from nine to five Working nine to five What a way to make a living Barely getting by It's all taking and no giving, they just use your mind and they never give you credit, it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it. Thank you. What a way to make a living. Fairly getting by. It's all taking and no giving. They must use your mind and you never get the credit.

It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it. It's nine to five. Yeah, they've got you where they want you. There's no better life when you think about it, don't you? It's a rich man's game, no matter what they call it. And you spend your life putting money in your wallet. Mind to buy, what a better man than him. You're getting by, it's all taken and no giving.

Just use your mind and they never give you credit. It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it. Nine to five, yeah, they got you when I want you. There's no better life. And it's your Friday flashback. Dolly Parton, who... Hey, whoa, whoa, she's not finished yet. 40 years ago was really up with the modern streaming practices

of making a two-minute 35 song. She was, wasn't she? Yeah, yeah. She wrote that, and you'll learn this if you listen to the podcast. What you going on? I can't speak highly enough of. Yeah. She wrote that on the film set.

She was just mucking around in her trailer, and that she couldn't play the guitar properly with her long nails on, so she just did it. I know, that's why I gave it a guitar tune. I only know the chorus. I don't know the other things, words long nails on, so she just did it. I know, that's why I give it guitar too. I only know the chorus. I don't know the other things, words, lines. So I'm just like, you're not cool, man. You've also had a text to stop trying to bring every Friday down

with your grumpiness, please. I'm not bringing Fridays down with my grumpiness. You are. I'm just saying that song was quite old. I haven't seen a bad text message in there. Would you say? Someone just said, what's happening? Yeah, see, a lot of people just have left.

Oh, there's one that just said that was shit, but I think they just wanted it to get read out. They were shit. But other than that, I'd say 98% positive. Yeah, right, okay. Huge churn. That's what somebody said. Huge churn.

That's what I'm telling, the kids are telling me that's high praise. Okay, right. Someone said, I've never heard this song before. Is this a new one? Yes. That's the thing. It does. As you said, it's short.

Yep. It's jazzy. Yep. And it's, you know, fighting the man. So it could totally be. Yeah. At 2020.

All right. Well, we cross now to the social media desk where Mountie sits and is in charge of the internet and things. And me. Now, we need to discuss something

that you were doing in the staff fridge. That makes it sound bad. She's not doing it in the staff fridge. It's something she's putting in the staff fridge. Nothing gross. Well... Now, you store your... What is it?

It's not proper milk, hey? It's almond milk. It's coconut milk, yeah. Coconut milk. Oh, good choice. Okay. Now, why don't you tell everybody what you're doing to stop people helping themselves to your coconut milk? Well, I've just put a little label on it saying not to

touch because it may contain breast milk. That is a great point. It's genius. When we saw this yesterday We were like We must talk about this If I was really keen On stealing your coconut milk

I reckon I'd open it And sniff You reckon? Yeah but you've got to be careful You've got to be careful Because there might be a bra That works here That needs some gym gains

Because weren't gym bras Buying God I was so confused I think you were referring To women as bras Like No Because we're talking About every space And you're like There could be a bra I'm like Because weren't gym bras buying... God, I was so confused. I think you were referring to women as bras. Like, no, they're jams. Because we're talking about every space. You're like, there could be a bra.

No, God, next thing you know, we have somebody in bras working on the office. They have a couple of bras. They wear cotton bras because they wear bras. Because gym bras were buying it on trade. They were. They were loving the proats, eh? Because it's good, you know, nature's gains.

I don't know. I did not know about this. Yeah. Yeah, and coconut milk is one of those ones where you might just be like, oh, they're not going to notice a little bit gone. Exactly. And then everyone does that.

But it adds up. Yeah, sure. And it's spinny. So do you know, has anyone touched it since it's been labelled breast milk? No, not that I can tell. You can tell. The trouble is we've now told everyone that it's actually coconut milk instead of breast milk.

You have to change the label. Yeah, thanks a lot, guys. May contain active core COVID-19 samples. I drink out of this. I drink from the bottle. Yeah, this is mine and I drink from the bottle. Yeah. That'd be enough to put people off in the current climate, wouldn't it?

And I also have a cough and a sniffle and mild aches and pains and last week I shook hands with Tom Hanks Don't touch my milk Yeah, hands off my milk Maybe we talked about this a few months ago I am that mum

that wants to hide treats from her kids at home so she gets a frozen mixed veggie bag and puts like all the chocolate bars in that and then tiesie bag and puts like all the chocolate bars in that and then ties it up and puts it in the freezer. Yeah. So the kids see it and they're like, oh, yuck, I'm not eating,

I don't want corn and peas and beans. So they don't even look at it. That's a great trick. Do you want to run through all the other frozen vegetables? I don't want corn or peas. Broccoli, cauliflower and carrots. Or florets of cauliflower. Or carrots, julienne.

They don't even look in there. No. But it's these kind of tricks that I like. And I wonder, could we talk about those? When you hit something in plain sight, sort of. Yeah, and maybe you have to do this at work. Because I know a lot of people at work get very territorial about stationery. Like post-it notes.

Or vivids and stuff. Yeah, because people always borrow them and they don't bring them back. No point bringing back a post-it note, it's gone. How many times even in the studio you're like, where's our bloody pen? Who keeps taking all the bloody pens? So maybe you've got a little secret hiding spot for that. I want to know whether it's food

or whatever it is in your office, what lengths do you go to to hide things in your office? Maybe you pretend it's breast milk so nobody steals your milk. Or maybe you've got to hide your lollies and your chocolate because, you know, you get to three o'clock and you just need that little pick-me-up. Where are you hiding your stuff? Or maybe you've got to have to have a locked drawer.

Oh, there'd be many a locked drawer. Surely. Whenever I see someone in an office with a locked drawer, I want in that drawer so bad. Alright, well give us a call. 0800 Dials at M 9696. What are you hiding? Maybe in plain sight.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. We're talking about when you're hiding something, maybe at work. In plain sight. So they always say that's the best place to hide, maybe at work, in plain sight. So they always say that's the best place to hide, isn't it? In plain sight. Maybe you've got to hide your mid-afternoon chocolate supply or your stationery. Or like Mountie, the milk, coconut milk, labelled as breast milk.

Cunning. We've got some real cunning foxes on the show. In our midst. Yeah. Michelle, what are you hiding at work or at home? At home. Okay. Women's, so I've got my container of women's multivitamins.

Yeah. And I'll sort of run two of them because, you know, like you're running out of one, so you buy another one. So, yeah, the one that's a bit low on supplies is the lolly jar and hubby doesn't go in there. Well, he doesn't need a centrum, does he?

No, he doesn't need a centrum. That is a great one. And my handbag, he doesn't go in my handbag either because he reckons it's like the TARDIS. He goes,

there's stuff in the, yeah, he's going my way. with guys in handbags, I'm like, it's in my handbag and you just go blank and like,

oh, I don't know. I'm not going in there. I've seen it with guys in handbags. I'm like, it's in my handbag and you just go blank and like, oh, I don't know. What? I'm not going in there. I went into my wife's handbag last weekend looking for the keys. Okay. I tipped it upside down and shook it. Oh, my God. Nothing.

Yeah. I'm like, the keys are not in there. And she's like, you're not looking properly. She came out and she stuck her hand in and went right up to the shoulder. And then she pulled the keys out. Yeah. And a violin. How did that fit in there? so yeah

yeah so where did that violin come from? she's like I don't know just put it back in there I might need it later just the way it went god Darren you need to have a girl look

not a boy look I shook it upside down but what kind of lollies are you keeping in the multivitamin jar? oh they might be like M&M's you fit lots of M&M's. You fit lots of

M&M's in there. If you did actually pick it up and have a shake, they're sort of like that multivitamin, you know, it's not like fruit bursts or anything.

Yeah, we wouldn't get that in the hall, we'd just wrap it in paper. I just can't imagine having lollies in one place to have them later.

Oh no, they're throughout the house. No, but just... Like in my bag and in my multivitamins. Yeah, right. Hot play, Michelle.

Yeah, hot play. You've inspired a generation today. Lauren, whereabouts are you hiding your treats? So mine's at home as well. Okay. And pretty much in the veggie drawer in the fridge. All the treats just go underneath it because then no one looks underneath the veggies.

Like the salads and everything. Right. Brilliant. It's a perfect hiding place. veggies like the salads and everything. Right. Brilliant plan. It's a perfect hiding place. It really is. Alright, thanks. You're cool, Lauren. Some text messages.

Somebody said, I've got six pens blue-tacked under my desk. Blue-tack. And if I ever take one out, I have to replace it with another pen so I've always got

six pens at the ready. That's clever. Yeah. Because you're not always stealing your pens but they wouldn't look under the desk for a pen. No, they wouldn't. What a great idea. Yeah, and Blu-Tack would hold, eh?

Yeah. Yeah. As long as it wasn't a rough bottomed edge. I just hate putting my hand under desks because people wipe their boogers and stuff. But that's another great plan why no one's going to put their hand under there to find them. If you're worried about people doing that, it's obvious that you've done it. We know that he wipes

his boogers on his chair. No, that is not true. Somebody said, Turn your chair over. Somebody said, I have a pair of scissors inside a plastic bag buried in my pot plant

on my desk. Why? Buried? Yeah. No, that's... So somebody keeps taking their scissors and one time they found

fingernails in the scissors and they're like, this is not what my scissors are for. Yuck. That's not what my scissors are for. You don't leave finger... If you're going to clip your fingernails, you don't leave them laying around.

Who's doing that? Like an absolute monster. Somebody said at our workplace, if I've ever got treats, I hide them in the cleaning cupboard because no one ever looks past the spray and wipe right at the front. You nuzzle in past that a little bit more. You've got some

treats right at the back and they never get taken. We're all learning. Alright, Fact of the Day is next. Tay, Tay. Okay. So. It's Friday. Today's fact of the day is about anglerfish. You know anglerfish though? No.

Like, yeah, you do. Like, if your nightmare could draw a fish, it would be an anglerfish. The one with the little light on the, yeah. Yeah. They live in the deep, dark seas. Like a Nemo. Yeah. That looks like someone's dropped an orange on the floor.

That's right. And they get mesmerized by the light and they go closer to an anglerfish. Yeah. That looks like someone's dropped an orange on the floor. That's right. And they get mesmerized by the light and they go closer. And then it's like. Well, that's what happens because it's so dark down there. It's got a little bioluminescent flashlight attached to its head. And people are like, oh, what's that light? It's pretty much to attract the moths of the sea. Yeah.

What? Moths? No. But sea moths. Yeah the sea. Yeah. What? Moths? No. But sea moths. Yeah, right. Okay. And then they come in and the fish are just like. The joke was significantly shorter than last time.

So they lure in things that they can eat. Now it's hard going in the deep seas. Because you're obviously speaking from speaking room experience. Let me tell you how it's hard going in the deep seas. There's not a lot happening down there.

Anglerfish very rarely come across each other. Okay. However, when they do, something truly disgusting happens. Grosser than an anglerfish is the way an anglerfish mates. Okay. He turns on his little light, but... I just think it's funny already. He pushes, he turns it on, but then he pushes it against it, so it flashes.

Like a head torch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got multiple functions in there. He keeps going. He's like, ah, ah, no, I've gone too far. I have to go all the way back through to get there. You know he's ready to party. I want to eat, not bang, so I'm just going to go,

oh, I've got to bang again. So he turns on his head torch to lovemaking mode. And it actually strobes or it flashes. No. No. It's just a joke about head torches. You liked it. I got really excited because I thought they went into strobe mode.

So he turns it on. But what activates it is he smells the pheromones of a female anglerfish. Okay. And a lot of anglerfish can go their entire lives and never meet another anglerfish. So this is beautiful Yeah And he gets a little bit of a A whiff

Yeah Of her scent of choice Maybe some Eve Saint Laurent Coco Madame Moselle Yeah Coco Chanel Madame Moselle You went for a Chanel

I went for a Chanel Interesting I know I was going to go for an Elizabeth Good choice I was going to go for a Red Door But that's what my mum wears Okay I don't know if she still does

And he gets a whiff of that, so he turns on his head torch. Yep. And that makes her go, oh, I don't know why, but I'm drawn to that. And they meet in the middle. And then he bites into her belly. Like that. What does he take? He bites.

He does not release. Is it a fatal bite? No. He bites and he does not release. Is it a fatal bite? No. He bites and he holds on. Yep. They end up, and he holds on for a long time because when she starts to heal that wound, it makes them into one.

It joins them into one. And then their blood vessels join. Duh. And they all become one. Horrible, right? Where's the bit where they're so... We've got questions. Okay, I've got a bit more

and then at the end of this, you can see if you've got any more questions. Raise your hand. So then that, because life, as I said, in the sea is tough. Yeah. So this is an easy ride for this fella.

Okay. He bites in and the body parts he doesn't need anymore, his eyes, his fins, and some of his internal organs atrophy and degenerate and then they wither away and he's little more than a lump of flesh full of semen hanging on the side of this fish. And she goes about eating. Yeah.

And when she is ready. Yeah. and when she is ready to make the babies, he goes, I guess he just squeezes himself and... Like a pimple. He's hanging from her. He's literally like a baby. He's connected. All that he needs.

They've essentially become one fish. Right. But how does it get from him into the... She just... Because they're one fish, I guess her nervous system's like ovulation

or the fish equivalent. Yeah, right. It's the same. And he's like, oh, this is what I'm here for. Or she says, that's what you're here for. Yeah.

New weird thing hanging off me. And then it goes in and then she lays eggs and the whole thing can repeat over and over. This is the shit that Kelly Tardens needs. Yeah.

I'd go, I'd watch this. I'd go every day just to see what's happening. Just introduce them to each other. Come on. Actually,

National Geographic in 2018 caught the first ever footage Really? of a mating pair of anglerfish and it is as gross as you would have imagined from that description that we just had.

Wow, okay. Yeah. Imagine if that happened with us. You met Mr. Toyboy, and he's like, and you're like, oh, okay. And then you come to work, and it's just his head hanging off you. Well, it wouldn't be his head, would it? No. Okay, you're true.

What? Guys get a rough go in the animal kingdom. It's just in like... Guys get a rough go. We just got the easiest ride in history. We turned on the light. You had a smelly on. We rocked over, latched on, and then we were like, well, we're done.

And then you ceased to exist. We absorbed you. Carry us around until you need it, and we'll just be losing our eyes and organs and stuff. So don't be freaked out when they start falling off. Oh, my God. So today's fact of the day is when anglerfish mate effectively, as the Spice Girls once said, to become one. I thought we were going into the...

Some love like I never needed love before. I'm going to make love to you, baby. Going to lose my eyes and my legs and a little bit more. Going to make love to you, baby. Turn on your light. It's awful dark down here. All right, let me get down here. Fact of the day, dayughan and Megan, the podcast.

Lots going on in the world, lots going on in New Zealand, and to talk to us about all of it, the Prime Minister joins us on the phone. Jacinda Ardern, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Busy times. It is, it isdern, good morning. Good morning. Busy times. It is

busy, busy times. Obviously COVID-19 on everyone's mind and our total focus on that right now, but also we've got drought in Northland and other things going on, so it is busy times. Are we getting off lightly

with the COVID-19 thing down here in New Zealand do you think? Oh, look, well, we have taken a really strong approach at our borders, for instance. We're also, one of the things that countries who have been successful in containing transmission outbreaks of COVID-19 have done is this thing called contact tracing. It's something they use in public health. So if someone has a case, you go and interview them. You ask everyone that they've had close contact with, and then you contact all of those people and determine who needs to be in self-isolation from those groups.

So we've managed to do that for 100% of the close contacts of every case that we have, and that is what we will keep on doing because that's that's one of the ways that you can ensure that you're containing it so that's it's you know it's best practice and that's what we're doing it takes a lot of work a lot of dedicated health health professionals to do it but but that's why we're in the phase that we're in so do you think it's a good idea then is this why a lot of big gatherings are being cancelled just so that if anyone you know becomes infected it's a good idea then, is this why a lot of big gatherings are being cancelled? Just so that if anyone, you know, becomes infected, it's very easy to trace who they've spoken to and been in contact with. Well, actually, one of the reasons is it depends where you are at in the phase of dealing with COVID-19.

So in New Zealand, we're still in that phase of being able to identify who has it, who they've had contact with, and also isolating people. In some countries, they're at a phase where they call it community transmission, where it's just getting a little bit harder to trace those individuals and trace who might have a case. And so then it's just, that's then just about reducing the chances that people then might have it and passing it on.

So different phases, and that's when people are using those measures. New Zealand's not at that point yet, but you'll see that there are other countries that have. But actually, this is where those really basic public health messages, they might sound trivial, but they're really important. If you're sick, stay at home, because you might be mild, but for COVID-19, 80% of people, at least most,

vast majority will only have mild to moderate symptoms. But it's the people who won't experience that, who might have underlying health conditions. You staying home is all about protecting other people. And that's why also washing hands, coughing into your elbow, that's all super important. I'm shocked. This has made me realize how many times's all super important. I'm shocked.

This has made me realise how many times I touch my face. All the time. Constantly with a hand on the face. Yeah. Yeah, it's really hard. I saw a cartoon yesterday with a dog looking at a human with a cone of shame around their head saying, it's for your own good. Totally, totally.

We need some sort of deterrent, some sort of shock. It is, yeah. When we touch our face. Now, um. I mean, you might not remember this, um, form, but I had braces. And so. I do. So I have a natural inclination just from all those years of trying to hide my braces.

I cover my face all the time. I remember when you had them taken off and you, um, it happens to everybody, but you would lick your teeth all the time. So they feel slimy. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. them taken off and you, it happens to everybody, but you would lick your teeth all the time. They feel slimy. Yep. So speaking of public gatherings, it's a year on Sunday since the Christchurch mosque attack. Will it affect the public gathering and the commemoration to mark one year since that tragic event? No, no. So we've asked for

very specific advice from the Ministry of Health about some big gatherings we have this weekend, Pacifica and also the March 15 memorial in Christchurch and their advice is that actually given where we are that it's not

necessary to do that but again just keep reinforcing if you're not well, don't go um and that's a really important message for people uh and also you know if you're not well don't go to work you know we we're all really good at being masters you know just keep soldiering on but right now it's not about you it's about everyone else and with uh what our plan for events for Sunday? So on Sunday we'll have, again as we did last year,

speeches from members of the community, the reading of names. It'll really be a memorial for just some reflection. And there have been some other events. I've been down recently again there today to check in with the community

and just to see how they are doing a year on because, as you can imagine, you may feel like a long time, but after something like that, I imagine it still feels pretty fresh for everyone. It's one of those surreal events that feels like yesterday but in other aspects feels like a long time ago. And you've probably dealt with it personally more than the average New Zealander. So how does it feel for you a year on? In some ways, you know, it feels like it was just yesterday.

But, you know, for me, a year on, the measure for us is how well have we cared for all of the people who are affected by it? And then how have we changed as a country? So I've been reading over, you know, some of the things that we've been doing to support those who have been affected. You know, simple things like supporting people to get in text or training and education because many of them lost breadwinners. And so that for me is a measure of how well we're doing. Right.

Well, yeah. Well, what do you say ahead of that? I hope it all goes well. Look after yourself as always. Thank you. And, you know, I think all of us, you know, on Sunday for the memorial, you know, just thinking about, you know,

have we changed as a country as well? I know there is more that we can do. Definitely, always more we can do. Thank you very much for the chat. Thanks, everyone. Look after yourself. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, four and four frother.

With McCafe. We're giving away a month's free coffee at McCafe and playing this morning. Odette, how are you? Good, thank you. Happy Friday, girls. Happy Friday. Happy Friday to you too.

Now, because you can grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only $4, we're playing our game four and four. We're going to give you a topic and you have four seconds. You need to name four items in those four seconds, okay? Okay, yeah. All right, so no pressure. But I tell you what, most people have been smashing this out of the park,

haven't they? No pressure. No pressure. Most people. Most people, Odette. Let's see if you can, Odette. Okay, so. Odette, your topic today is name four milk options.

Your time starts now. Banana milk, skin milk, milk trim milk and chocolate milk. Yeah! Are we giving you that? In my mind, I was thinking milk options you would put in a comment, but we never stipulated that you couldn't go banana. Yeah. No doubt.

I like that you also said banana milk. I mean, you could have saved vital seconds by just saying banana. But hey, I tell you what, that's good enough for me, Odette. Congratulations. A month's free coffee from McCafe. Well done. Amazing. Cheers, lovely.

Thank you. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Megan, well, that is our show today. We'll catch you back on Monday if we're not in isolation. Vaughn's just going to be like... And then not turn up.

Yeah, out of all of us, you're the one that would fake that. I'd love to retort, brothers. I've got a very soft voice. Oh, of course you do. Yeah, of course. Hey, keep buying some running at temperature. Yeah, sure. Do you guys have a temperature checker?

Do you have a thermometer? No. You don't. You probably would because you get them for kids, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Because I always remember when we were kids, they weren't digital ones, were they? They were the ones that you could break and die if the-

The mercury. Yeah. Do you guys remember that? Like, don't play with that. Yeah. You're like, yeah, but it makes- I want to see how hot it goes. Don't. And then you got to a certain age and you learnt that, like, don't play with that. Yeah. You're like, yeah, but it makes, I want to see how hot it goes. Don't.

And then you got to a certain age and you learnt that, like, taking it under the tongue was okay, but for optimal, it was best rectal. What? I thought it was in your ear. What? I've been putting it up my bum for a long time. Good Lord.

It's always pretty spot on, though. And then someone else comes and puts it in their mouth. Oh, you give it a wipe. Oh, Jesus. This is Fletch and puts it in their mouth. Oh, you're giving it away? Oh, Jesus.