ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 20th 2020

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

Top 6 - Lines around the worldMillion Dollar QuestionsJacinda Ardern has a chatAm I a Bad Person?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by McCafé. Grab yourself a delicious barista-made coffee for only four dollars. All right, you lot, listen up, it's story time. Well, story time, as always, I've sourced three interesting, quirky, odd, bizarre news story headlines and I run them past Vaughan and Megan, all three, and you've got to pick only one. The others have been headline one, 11 pin bowling. news story headlines and I run them past Vornham, Megan, all three and you've got to pick only one. The others have been headline one, 11 pin bowling.

Headline two, partially naked man entered home and made scrambled eggs, police say. And headline three, police follow the trail. Those are your headlines.

How is he partially nude? Was he Donald Ducking? Just had a t-shirt on. Nothing on. Because if he had no top on, then no one would care. Yeah, maybe. He's a topless man.

Yeah, right. Okay. What was one? I think one... One was... A story one was 11-pin bowling. Yeah, that's interesting.

10 pins, traditionally. Normally 10 pins. That's why it's called 10-pin bowling. Yeah. Should we go with that one then? Or police follow the trail Which one?

Ten pin bowling Well eleven pin bowling Eleven pin bowling We go now To Kenton Line In the UK Where

There is At the Hollywood Bowl And it's not the Hollywood Bowl As in where they have The concerts in Hollywood It's Hollywood Bowl As in where they have the concerts in Hollywood. It's Hollywood Bowl as in 10-pin bowling centre. Cute. They have a nude bowling night.

Hence, 11 pins on the alley. Oh! One of them's a diddle. That's kind of cool. Don't you want to get that stuck in the... In the machine that comes up. On to the nudist. Well, you, your parents, you grew up at a nudist park.

Yeah, I did. Did they ever... Partake in activities naked? Well, no, I was meaning, would they ever go, like, to a tempering bowling place and have a nude night? Because it would all,

wouldn't it have all just been at the naturist park? I don't know. We'd have to ask. But, because it seems kind of weird, you drive there clothed, and then you... Disrobe.

Because the thing is, the thing is with these, like, nudist parks, there's no, like, cameras. It's very... You have to do interviews to get in.

Yeah, right. It's very structured and controlled area. So they don't want to let pervs in, do they? Yeah, whereas you can't control one random night at a bowling alley.

Like, I feel like that would be a bit weird to go there and take your clothes off. Well, the event runs and it's up and running. You can go once a week and it goes from 7.30 until 10, included in the event for £21.

So what, about $40 New Zealand dollars. Two games of tenpon bowling. Yeah. So you're not technically nude. You've got to wear shoes. You've got to wear shoes, of course. And also a buffet and a drink from the bar. So that's not bad, is it?

I wouldn't want to have a buffet if I was naked. Is it just... Yeah. You know, you need to unbutton your pants because your tummy's a bit... Well, you don't need to unbutton your pants because you're not wearing any. True. Is there a requirement that everyone who goes has to be naked? They would have to be, right?

Well, it doesn't say it. It's a new... It's a nature and British naturism. It's run by them. So I'm assuming if you went along, you would have to. Yeah, wouldn't you? Yeah. Because otherwise, if you were the only one wearing clothes,

you'd look like a pervert. Yeah, exactly. And then heaps of people would just go along for that reason. Yeah. Just imagine a bowling technique you don't really... And do they shut the whole... Like, is this a private venue, higher, or are half the lanes still general public?

Because imagine you're on lane 10, but on lane 5, the naturists. I think it has to be the whole place, wouldn't it? Surely. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Look, this is happening around the country in various places. In fact, I saw a post from an employee of Auckland Hospital and Starship yesterday with an empty wall-mounted hand sanitizer. You're kidding me.

Saying if you steal these, like, with the current stretch on DHBs, we're not going to be able to afford to replace these, and you're putting a whole community in very real risk. Who was stealing those? The staff or the visitors? No, no, no, no. Visitors, I think. Right.

Yeah, like, we're not going to be able to. We're going to make your kids sick that we're trying to look after. Steal supplies from a hospital. I know. It's nuts. Right. Yeah, like we're not going to be able, we're going to make your kids sick that we're trying to look after. Steal supplies from a hospital. I know. It's nuts. Wow. Especially. This is a time we're living in.

But it's not the only place. Toilet paper and soap has been stolen from Nelson Public Toilets. Public Toilets been raided. Nelson, your hometown, Megan. That's upsetting. Yeah. Can you even, in a public toilet, can you even access like a whole roll?

Don't they have those little plastic lock keys? We'd have to know. They break open. I'd just imagine. Oh, they just break them. Yeah, just imagine they're breaking those open. But I went to the supermarket yesterday. There was lots of toilet paper.

Yeah, there's no need to panic. There's no need to go in Australia and fight people in the aisles. We make it. So there's always going to be toilet paper. Every time you wipe your butthole, you're wiping your ass on. New Zealand product. That should be the ad. Buy New Zealand made.

Wipe your butthole on it. We've got to be careful because I don't know if you guys remember, but do you remember growing up like 80s and 90s? Do you remember any time you go to a public toilet, they'd have those toilet roll holders with a block of wood on them and you go chink, chink. And campground

toilets are the same. And it would give you one or two squares of paper and you'd be like chink, chink. So it's like acts as an automatic cut off.

Yeah, so it turns over and then somehow the mechanism let it turn over again but it wouldn't let it keep rolling. It would, I think it was a

standard toilet roll. Well, not like a. I think it was a standard toilet roll. Well, not like a standard household toilet roll, but a bigger toilet roll. And the block misshaped the roll. So when you pulled it inside the thing, it went from a circular to like an oblong. Is oblong the right word? You would have seen that.

And you'd pull it, and it would flick around, and then the force would make it too hard to pull up. So you'd have to, like like push it up with your hand to get another square. Get a look. You guys have seen these going crazy. Executive intern Anya, you would have seen these. Do you know what we're talking about? Yeah.

See? No, you're not seeing that. No, I believed you. Well, most of the camping Megan did was at a naturist park. You can't walk around with a skinny bum hole at a naturist park. The rest of us put toads back on and probably jump straight back in the pool and let our poo particles go there. Oh, grim.

Mountie at the social media disc, you know what we're talking about. Never heard of these. Okay. Maybe it's, are you a mainlander? Maybe it's a North Island thing. I'm just trying to Google. I can't find a picture of one. I feel like this, I feel like it's. There's still toilets that would use them. I feel like it's Kiwi. It's a North Island thing. I'm just trying to Google. I can't find a picture of one. I feel like there's still

toilets that would use them. I feel like it's Kiwi. It's a Kiwi invention. I feel like it's Kiwiana. I've never seen it. Look, I can't find a photo. If anybody's in my hometown of Morrinsville,

the public toilets between the pharmacy and the Countdown. Can someone pop in there? I feel like that was maybe I saw one in there once. Nah, because everyone's gone to the big rolls.

And I don't want anyone thinking I took a dump in there, because I didn't, but I just wanted to wipe the seat before one of my daughters used it. And I'm pretty sure there was a clunker clunker in there. A clunker clunker. A clunker clunker toilet. Yeah. But this is my point.

If we keep stealing toilet paper, we're going to get everybody's going to go back to clunker clunkers. And it was horrible. Because you'd take extra time in the toilet. Yeah. More than you'd need to at a public toilet if you were caught short. Yeah, and it was a real effort to get that toilet paper. Oh, yeah.

So let's not steal from public toilets because we'll go back to the days of clunker clunkers. And, I mean, you, Megan, you might not remember, but it was horrible. We need to find one and we need to show you exactly how hard they were to deal with. Yeah, so if you are near a public toilet that has a clunker clunker toilet roll holder, send a photo to us. Or a video. Or a video, yeah. Put a video on our Facebook page or send it to us.

And we can get the public service announcement out there because we can't, honestly, we can't go back to clunker clunkers. I won't. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there, April babies. And even late March babies, because what are we? Yeah, we're two-thirds of the way through March.

Yeah. So from now, whenever this whole thing blows over, and it will blow over, we've just got to get through it. Just got to play it cool and get through it. Help each other out. The birthdays, the social gatherings, the knees up, the shenanigans, maybe put on hold. Yeah.

And I know April babies are late, but usually we've got a free reign. Maybe Easter. Yeah. Maybe we've got Easter to compete with every couple of years, every five years. Yeah. But other than that, we've always had a free run on birthdays. So they're probably feeling a little bit.

So I've got the top six ideas for April babies' birthdays. Okay. What to do in these tough times. Number six, rain check your festivities until this whole thing is over. As a February baby that snuck one in, I'll allow it. Just maybe issue a public notice of when you're planning to rain check too. Okay.

Preferred dates, check the availability. Put it far enough out, people have got no excuses for missing. Yeah, right. Number five on the list of the top six ideas for April baby's birthdays, have a tea party with all of your toys. They have been there for you, haven't they?

You've got a bag in the ceiling of all of your old stuffed toys from when you were a kid. They saw you through some tough times. And they've probably been forgotten about recently. Yeah, and they never laughed when you wet the bed.

You probably vomited on one of them. Now that's all the hallmarks of a good friend. Yeah. Unless any of your toys are showing flu-like symptoms and then leave them

in the plastic bag. Quarantine them. Number four on the list of the top six ideas for April baby's birthdays. A Skype party. I just googled how many people you can have in one Skype session.

How many? How many do you think? Eight. Ten. Fifty. What? Are you kidding me? You can have 50 people

on one Skype session. How does that even work? Do they go, is it like the bloody Brady Bunch intro? Everyone's got little squares. Celebrity squares. Yeah.

But can you imagine trying to be heard? Oh, God, Borda just be like, me, me, hey. I haven't had enough attention. If you're the admin, do you get to mute everybody else? I don't know, maybe. And commandeer attention? Yeah. But then some of those chat programs, don't they, if you're talking,

they make you the big square? Yes. Is that Skype? Yes. But that was when we chat programs, don't they, if you're talking, they make you the big square? Yes. Is that Skype? Yes. But that was when we did that with like six people. That wasn't when 50 people are all talking. Number three on the list of the top six ideas for April babies' birthdays. Nominate a birthday.

If it's good enough for the king or queen of England, it's good enough for you because you're the king or queen of your land. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they're like, I don because you're the king or queen of your land. Yeah. You know, they're like, I don't want to have a birthday that's in winter. That's dreary. Let's postpone this till spring. That's something to think about.

That's something I should do because I'm always in June. Yeah. It's always... Month of July, it's always rainy and cold. Nominated birthday. Okay. I can't sympathise with you

given that my birthday is always good weather. I'm going to pick December 25. Oh, terrible day. Why? No one's going to be focusing on you. Focusing on Jesus. All right then, fine, Jesus, you win again. Undefeated Jesus.

Stupid Jesus. Number two on the list of the top six ideas for April babies' birthdays. He's not helping, is he? Currently. Doing nothing. Have a sit down with a late December, early January baby that's never had a birthday that's actually been about them. Yeah.

They've always been like, what are you guys doing on December 28th? It's my birthday. Everyone's like, yeah, okay. Not happening. I'll leave the batch to come and party with you. Are you? Were you having your party at the beach?

No. Oh, you stink. Number one on the list of the top six ideas for April baby's birthdays. Get six mirrors, set them up in a hexagon shape, and then sit in the gap. Well, actually five mirrors, and then you're in one of the gaps. Yeah. And then you just look around, and there's heaps of people in the room.

It's like you're partying with yourself. You're drinking with yourself, twinsie, I, me, bestie, them, they. It identifies anybody you want. You're probably going to agree with their political opinions too. Oh my God. This is the actual definition of an echo chamber. Dangerously surrounded by people that will agree with everything you say. It's more and more, slightly more and more extreme.

That is today's Top 6. There's been a few celebrity missteps. I'm looking at you, Vanessa Hudgens. Oh, Van Hudge. Van Hudge. Oh, Van Hudge. When you, maybe she had a little bit of a whine and did a video and not everyone appreciated that.

But a celebrity who has made an awesome video is Matthew McConaughey. Oh, I love Matthew McConaughey. His voice. is Matthew McConaughey. Oh, I love Matthew McConaughey. He just, his voice, he just. If you listen to his, he reads a little bedtime story in that Calm app. Does he? Does he? He does have a really.

Really relaxing. And it's slower. And it's got a slight. Yeah. But that's the problem is like we're quite lucky with like Love or Hate Jacinda, who, we're quite lucky with, like, love or hate Jacinda, who's on the show later. You know, she's very reassuring and she's saying the right things,

whereas you look around the world at some other leaders, Trump. Gives himself a 10 out of 10. You know, and they're not, a lot of them aren't even speaking the truth and a lot of them aren't being reassuring. And, you know, so I think that we can get what we need from celebrities, some of them. Yeah. Especially ones with lovely some of them. Yeah. Especially ones with lovely voices.

Yeah. Well, this is the video. Have you got my audio? I believe Vaughan's queued up. This is Matthew McConaughey's inspiring speech. Well, Hector, here's the game plan. You're going to bring us two absolute martinis. You know how I like them, straight up.

And then precisely seven and one and a half minutes after that, you're going to bring us two more. Then two more. I don't think this is the right one, Vogue. Oh, okay, sorry. But no, I feel like if we've come that far, we need the... Well, now I'm just scrolling through the video to find out. He's talking about rookie numbers.

He's getting angry. He's talking about this. Hold on It happens towards the end of the scene With me Shot This is just a guess Is there swears in that scene?

Quite possibly Yes We're coming to the thumbnail Okay so Yeah I don't know There could be be very well-missed. OK, so not Wolf of Wall Street, Matthew McConaughey, but Matthew McConaughey yesterday. Hey, everybody, McConaughey here.

Just want to say in these crazy times that we're in with the coronavirus, let's take care of ourselves and each other. Let's not go to the lowest common denominator and get paranoid. Let's do our due diligence, take the precautions we need to take care of ourselves and those of us around us. Right now, more than ever before, we're all more dependent on each other than we ever have been. But we have an enemy in the coronavirus that is faceless, that is raceless, sexless, non-denominational, and bipartisan.

And it's an enemy that we all agree we want to beat. We want to beat and we're going to beat them. All right. So in this time when people are going to move on, the economy is going to be in shambles for who knows how long. There is a green light on the other side of this red light that we're in right now. And I believe that green light is going to be built upon the values that we can enact right now. Values of fairness, kindness, accountability, resilience, respect, courage. If we practice those things right now, when we get out of this, this virus, this time, might be the one time that brings us all together and unifies us like we have not been in a long time. So, yes, let's see if we can make some lemonade out of this lemon

that we're in the middle of. Turn a red light into a green light. Just keep living. Yes. Yes. The president, am I right? He tweeted that and said because every red light really fluffed it. Because every red light eventually turns green.

He's so great. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Kate is from Brisbane and she went on holiday to America and she came back with a memento, except she didn't know that she had the memento. So she met a guy. Did she accidentally buy a fridge magnet and slipped in her suitcase or something?

She didn't know. But she forgot to get rid of her banana. No, more permanent than that. She met this guy in America and they had a holiday fling and she never saw him again. And when she came home, she didn't get her period. So she took a pregnancy test. It was negative. She went to the doctors. They took a blood test. It was negative. And then a week later she got her period. So she's like, oh, it's all good. Right. Carried on with life and she was training to be a flight attendant.

Okay. She said there was rigorous training. She was still like partying and going out at the weekends and drinking. She was training as well, which was rigorous exercise and she was jumping down those emergency slides and stuff. Yeah, yeah. She then passed a physical, which she said involved them doing all kinds of blood tests,

abdomen, like pushing on her abdomen. She took urine tests. Nothing was amiss. Okay. And one day she woke up and she's like, Oh, my tummy hurts. I think I've eaten something funny. Nothing was too weird.

She went to the chemist. They gave her Gaviscon because they said you got indigestion. And then those little white firefighters walked down her throat spraying her. Yeah. Spraying. She got back to her hotel and was like, we're going to have a bath. It's still really sore. Yeah.

And it got so bad she called the ambulance. They came and got her really quickly and she was rushed to hospital. really sore. Yeah. And it got so bad she called the ambulance. They came and got her really quickly and she was rushed to hospital and she said, I think I've got appendicitis. That's when they did an ultrasound and they found that she was about to give birth to a baby

boy. They said to her, you're about to deliver a baby boy. Like right then? Yeah. She was in labour. She was in labour and She was in labour. And she said she had worn the same uniform the whole time. Wow. Not a change. She's only five foot.

She's the same height as me. Five foot six. Really? Wow. So it's not like she was. Because sometimes you see people who don't know and they're really tall and it kind of. Yeah. Yeah.

Skin them a rinky dinky dink somewhere in the abdominal cavity. So she said she had no symptoms. She was getting a period. She didn't have any feeling in her stomach that wasn't what she normally. Yeah. You're going to be a mum. No kicking, no nothing. And then, yeah, when she got a sore tummy one day.

People who are currently pregnant probably listen to the show because they've been awake all night with pregnancy issues right now. Very upset. Yeah. But then, I mean, she didn't have all the, you know, issues with pregnancy. But she said she found it quite hard when the baby was born to connect because it was just suddenly put upon her. It was like, hey, this is yours.

And you've got literally no notice. Okay, I had a sore tummy this morning. Because I used to think, you read these stories from time to time and I was like, there's no way they had no idea. You'd think that it's BS. They're talking nonsense. But we've spoken.

And the whole time we've been on the radio, I remember we've spoken to at least two or three people that this has happened to. Yeah. And the whole time we've been on the radio, I remember we've spoken to at least two or three people that this has happened to. Yeah. And had in-depth discussions, and they had no idea until they were giving birth in labour. So Dallas is his name. He was 38 weeks, and by, I can't find how heavy he was,

but it doesn't look tiny. He looks like a healthy baby boy. Wow. I just wonder, like, in that shorter frame, where did he go? Does the holiday fling dad know about this? I don't know.

True, did she track him down? Probably like... Oh, Lord. Yeah. That's a hell of a memento from her Alaskan trip. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast.

But it is normally at this time, and it has been for the last, what, six and seven weeks? Yeah. We have been playing ZM's Secret Sound, Thanks to Save My Bacon. Well, we can no longer play Secret Sound because yesterday, Jess won $100,000. Hi, Jess. Hello.

Have you been playing Secret Sound this whole time? Not really. I've been listening along, but today I thought I'd get on there. Jess, what is your guess? I think it's the champagne bottle opening in porn. My heart is beating out of my chest. You guys make me nervous. Jess.

Jess, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to play you the extended Secret Sound. This is just for you. No one else listen. Okay. Jess. Jess, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to play you the extended secret sound. This is just for you. No one else listen. Okay. Hey. Thank you for getting here. Congratulations.

You just won the secret sound. No. No. Jess. I think I'm going to die. What the hell? I don't even know what to do right now. Oh, my God! Jess. I think I'm going to die. What the hell? I don't even know what to do right now. Oh, my God!

That is so amazing. I'm not even that much of a drinker, but I'm going to be drinking so much champagne from now on. Yes, congratulations, Jess. $100,000. All thanks to Save My Bacon. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast podcast ZM

ZM FM Fletch, Vaughan and Megan's Community Notices Hello Hello Hi Hi And welcome to Community Notices

a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to our local Facebook pages This one's pretty cute This is from Mount Albert. I'm going to show you guys this. There's a little hedgehog.

Oh, hedgey. Hey, hedgehog. Bakwa asks, does anyone know what this animal is that's on my lawn? Oh. He's never seen a hedgehog. Really?

Yeah. He's never seen a hedgehog. Never seen a hedgehog. To be fair, he might have thought all hedgehogs Really? Yeah. Has he never seen a hedgehog? Never seen a hedgehog. To be fair, he might have thought all hedgehogs look like Sonic. Misleading.

They're never blue. I've seen many hedgehogs in real life. I've never seen a blue one. Yeah. They can trot though if they need to. They always move slow

when we see them because it's daytime and they're dazed and confused and probably not well. Really? But they can scoot along should they need to.

They can go really fast. We get lots of images. Yeah, they tuck their heads in and they rev up spinning and then they shoot off to get some golden rings. That part's true, but they just never blew. Right. But yeah, 134 comments, I'm guessing most of them are just saying, what you got there?

What you got there is a hedgehog. Next for community notices. It's another animal issue Okay The Uphart community page Sarah White says Hi all So is anyone missing a frog in Wallaceville? Okay

Missing frog? Sounds like she's found a frog Not all frogs are pets No Some people Like Somebody said I found a peacock

Okay On a page Terrifying Recently And people are like Oh yeah those are just Wandering around Should they be?

No not probably not But Yeah They aren't necessarily Somebody's pet Yeah Let's hear from Sharon Okay

On the Auckland Buy Sell Swap page Sharon has listed A free toilet brush holder The old brush broke But but the holder is fine, apart from some scratches and dirt. That's not dirt. That's not dirt. Wait, how much does she want for it?

That's poos. Free. Just chuck it in the recycle bin or the bin. Can be used as an umbrella holder. Oh, Sharon. Despite all the jokers out there, I did rinse it and scrub it out. Thank you very much. Oh, Sharon. Despite all the jokers out there, I did rinse it and scrub it out. Thank you very much.

No, Sharon. It has spider dirt on it for months of storage in the shed. Manky, Sharon. You're manky. That does look like... I'd love to... Some of these community notices,

I'd love to just, like, send Fletch around. Yeah. Talk to them. For a dose of reality. Sharon, you're being manky. Stop it. No, Sharon. No, it's manky. Someone might want to use it. No.

Rochelle writes on the Hibiscus Coast page. Anyone hungry? I ordered $90 worth of pizza by mistake. How? That's what Elizabeth asks. How does one order $90 of pizza by mistake? How? That's what Elizabeth asks. How does one order 90 bucks of pizza

by mistake? I don't know either. Does he keep adding things thinking it's not adding and going back and adding? But then when you go to pay you see that it says 90 bucks. I was at a party last month.

It was just afternoon drinks and there's a whole bunch of people and someone's like I'm going to order pizza for everyone. Everyone's like great and they ordered accidentally ordered all the small ones.

They're like, oh, I wonder why they were so cheap. And everyone's like struggling to get two bits of pizza. It's just like, oh my God, this is a nightmare. Yeah, but it was free pizza. Yeah, they paid for it. But I mean, still, we're all complaining. That's good, eh? Somebody says something nice, they're like, oh, oopsie.

And everyone's like, yeah, good one, charitable dickhead. Good one, yeah. Good one. What else you got? And finally today, let's go to the Burwood East Residents Association where Julie has piped up to say the things you see in Burwood. A bloke, very much under the weather, has just done a down trowel and shat on the berm.

Oh, that's manky. He's now on the way down to the bottle shop. His t-shirt says keep calm and drill it. He didn't even wipe his bottom. Burwood. Good one, Burwood. What was he supposed to wipe his bottom with? I don't know.

Just like scooch along the grass like a dog with an itchy web. But those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page that gives you a giggle, screen cap it and send it to ours. We're FBMZM on Facebook. 721. Lovely heartwarming story next. We need to talk about Doreen, Dottie and Carol.

Oh, yes. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. But a heartwarming story. This comes out of Britain. Three older women, because we need to like make sure we're looking out for anyone who is more vulnerable. Can I have a proud moment? I'm very proud of my wife. Yesterday she was at Pack and Save.

Yeah. Things were getting a bit chaotic and she said there was an elderly lady at the back of the queue. And like, or should I say quite old, like she was worried that she'd get knocked over if someone bumped the trolley and stuff. Yeah. So she abandoned her space in the queue, Sade did, and went around to the help desk and said, I'm just really concerned about this old lady. And they opened up one of the checkouts I was in and put the old lady through a special. Oh, that's nice.

Because some people are doing checkout lanes just for elderly, which is nice. Couldn't agree with it more. And you were saying, you were speaking to the checkout lady yesterday who said everyone was being nice before, but then we've had a message in saying someone's on their way to do security at a supermarket. Because everyone's having punch-ups over bulk buying. Come on, we've got to be nice to each other.

Don't need to bulk buy, yes. So this is a nice story about three women named Doreen, Dottie and Carol. They are going to self-isolate but they didn't want to be lonely.

So here's their plan. A week in our own home in isolation, seven days and then if we were still fit and well, yeah, we would decide

which house we're going to go and live in because we've all got the same amount of rooms the bedrooms etc we're all right uh we're in carols at the moment um dotty's got a lovely long back garden which would be great for exercising yeah then to the other we've done mine has as well as well. Oh, yours do as well. Jane and I have got no garden, but... She's got a yard in. I have got a front room in case we get touchy with each other. Yeah.

That might be under. Got you. And I've got Netflix so we could watch The Crown. It's a great idea. I think I'm the winner. I love it. We'll have a supply of wine. Well, I've heard about the wine.

I believe it's the only thing you've been panic buying. Oh, my God, they're so cute. They sound so happy. They need a show, like some kind of low budget Skype reality show that we can all watch. Yes. During this.

Paying for it. They were so cute. But that is totally right. If they're going to isolate us like a family, then by yourself would be horrible. Well, yeah. And I saw a friend who's in London just share a couple of things about volunteering for elderly

because a lot of elderly might be on their own and maybe they need someone to walk their dog and you're younger and, you know, you can do that without, you know, socialising with other people. My mate, Aubyn, who Megan keeps calling cute, wildly inappropriately, his mother-in-law's over 70 and he said where she is, it's like three months isolation. Yeah, that's what they've said in the UK. Three months if you're over 70 and he said where she is, it's like three months isolation. Yeah, that's what they've said in the UK.

Three months if you're over 70. Because I was just thinking I'm not aware of any older people around me in the neighbourhood. Maybe we could all post on our Facebook pages. Yeah, definitely. To like nominate people who need to, you know, need a bit of extra help. There's actually a, oh, where was I? I'm going to have to go to that a little bit. Give me a second.

Oh, here it is. NZ Neighbourhood Support is a new group. Yeah. And basically you find it. So NZ Neighbourhood Support on Facebook. You join the group and you say what area you're in. Yeah, right. And if you can help.

And there's a thing you fill out. So then if somebody else is in that group but they can't be near their elderly parents or helping somebody out in the area, they can message you and you can say, oh yeah, I can help out. If you're nipping to the shops, you can get them some milk. Even your local community pages as well.

I'm sure you can be looking on those and help any way you can there. Just quickly, can you say that joke? Vaughan just dropped a joke right before we went on here. I had a hen that could count her own eggs before they hatched. She was a man with a chicken. That's so good, isn't it? That's good.

That's all we need. Simple pleasures. That's what we need right now. Simple pleasures. It's what we need right now. Who wants to be a millionaire? Hey, I'm here. We never had a New Zealand one. Was there an Australian one and we sent people over? Yeah, Eddie McGuire.

That's right. Lock it in, Eddie. That's what they'd say. You sure? Yeah, Eddie. And they'd say Are you sure? Yeah Eddie And then he'd be like Next up we've got Steve from

Oola Warranga Dangadooda Steve You and your wife Have come down For the weekend And then they'd Cut to the wife In the crowd

Waving Hello Yes Eddie that's right We drove down We drove the Kingswood down We had a Who wants to be A millionaire in New Zealand

Hosted by Mike Hosking. Get out of town. What? He stole all the money. That's how he got so rich. Every time they didn't win. Did we? Yeah.

Was it on Prime? I feel like our Who Wants to Be a Millionaire would have given away like $100,000. TVNZ won. Really? It was on one. Get out of town. Who knew? And at the end of it, if away like $100,000. TVNZ won. Really? Mm-hmm. It was on one. Get out of town. Who knew? And at the end of it, if they didn't win, was it like, ha, I am.

Shouldn't have voted for Labour. Ha. We all could be if they stopped taxing us. Say, Matt. So Who Wants to Be a Millionaire have released the questions that people have answered. That final question, multiple choice, to get the million dollar prize. The hardest questions. And we thought we would run through some of those

with our very own Mike Hosking slash... Who's the one that... It's a Top Gear guy that does it. Jeremy Clarkson does it now. Yeah. In the UK. But he hasn't always done it in the UK. Somebody else did it and then they passed the baton.

Executive Intern Anya Quizmaster, good morning. I've got the wrong button up. Good morning. There you are. So you're going to give us the multi-choice questions and we can play along at home. And then if you get this right at home, you can imagine you get a nice feeling.

You could imagine being on who wants... That if you'd answered all those questions beforehand and then answered that question... The same reason we all sit down and watch The Chase and yell the answers at the television room. There's something humanly great about being right when somebody else around you is wrong. Very true.

All right, give us some questions. If you planted the seeds of the Quercus robur, what would grow? A, trees, B, flowers, C, vegetables, or D, grain? What's the name of the thing? The Quercus robur. That must be the scientific name. I'm going to say flowers. We should just spread our hedge our bets. I'm going to say flowers. Oh yeah, we should just spread our, hedge our bets.

I'm going to say tree. Okay, I'm going to say her quirk is grains. The winner is Megan Pappadopoulos. What was your one? Flowers. A tree.

A tree. What is that tree otherwise known as? Who knows? I don't know. An oak tree. Come on, Eddie, you've got to have

some additional information to ask afterwards. It's an oak tree. It's an oak tree. Okay, so those are acorns. I don't know. Question two. Eddie doesn't know

all the answers. The Earth is approximately how many miles away from the Sun? A, 9.3 million. B, 39 million. C, 93 million. Or D, 193 million. Miles too, guys. Don't get tripped up there.

93. Because I don't want to go the biggest one. Yeah, I'm going to say 93 as well. I can do whatever I want. Okay, I'll go... A, 9.3. I'll go B, you go C. Okay.

Fletch is correct. 93 million miles away. 93 million miles away. That's crazy, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Okay. Which insect shorted out an early supercomputer and inspired the term computer bug?

Was it A, moth? What? A moth? I'm locking in B, Slater. She hasn't given the... You got a computer in the head, do you? Remember you had to tap it. Oh, the moth's back.

Oh, he's in the computer. Sorry. Eddie, carry on. Is it A, moth? B, roach, C, fly, or D, Japanese beetle? Moth. A. Well, I'm going B or C because I don't think you call a moth a bug. I'm going B.

Anything's a bug, isn't it? C. What, C? C was a fly. And D, a Japanese beetle. I'm going Japanese beetle. Eh, that is wrong. You shouldn't have picked that.

It was A, a moth. Always a bit on the dust, baby. Yeah. Which of the following landlocked countries is entirely contained within another country? Is it? Easy. The Vatican City.

No. You haven't even heard the answers. So what was the question? Well, if you were listening, you would know. Which of the following landlocked countries is entirely contained within another country? Is it A, Lesotho? Is it B, Burotho? Is it B, I don't know if I can describe it. Is it B, Burkina Faso?

Is it C, Mongolia? Or D, Luxembourg? No, it's A. It's in the middle of South Africa, right? Yeah. Well done. That is correct. As soon as you asked the question, I knew what it was.

Because Vatican doesn't, like, qualify for a country, right? It's like a state or something. It's a country, isn't it? No, it's like a dominion or some weird not country country. It's a country. It's the smallest country in the world, actually, Vaughan. Well, it's a war with it. Oh, it wasn't one of the options.

It wasn't one of the options. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh brain. You duh brain. You're not getting a million dollars.

How upsetting was being called a duh brain as a kid? So upsetting. Duh brain. Or even just going duh. Duh. Duh. Oh, this one's fun. Okay.

In the children's book series, where is Paddington Bear originally from? I know. Okay. All right. Do a blind guess. Go on. Peru. It is Peru.

Also, if you went on home once to be a millionaire carrying on like that, we'd all be like, who does this guy think he is? Don't even give me the options, Eddie. Paddington Bear is from Peru. Joining us on the phone,

I'm imagining what has been a pretty quiet week. And still being a mother, so don't forget that. The Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda, hello. Good morning. Wow. So, firstly, how are you holding up? Because I see you just on all of these press conferences and you must just be having an incredibly tough time at the moment

and you're doing a fantastic job. Oh, as you can imagine, the whole world at the moment having very similar experiences and so we're not alone. We're not alone, although we are better placed than many. We've had specifically some texts coming in this morning from our listeners wanting to know if you're okay.

Oh, that's very kind. I am. I am. I absolutely am. I've got a job to do and getting on with it, but I'm absolutely fine. Thank you. I get that. And, I mean, so much has changed since we talked to you last week. And really a lot has changed. But I guess the latest part is how dangerous misinformation is at this critical time.

Yes, yes, it is. And so I really just ask people, if you see a rumour online, just don't believe it. Go to covid19.govt.nz. Everything you need to know is there. Or, you know, you could pop onto my social media.

I'm trying to get all the messages out there really quickly as well. But there are lots of rumours. I'm on social, so I see them too. And as tempted as I am to go and respond to every single one of them, that would be time consuming.

So instead, we keep that one place, everything. So, you know, things do, you know, moving quickly. We're asking people to follow some pretty specific advice, but to get the latest updates, covid19.govt.nz. Imagine being Carol who sells crystals on Facebook and getting a reprimanding directly from the Prime Minister's Facebook account. That would have been... Hey, it could come to that.

It might be needed. Social gatherings now limited to 100. I was having a chat with someone yesterday. They're like, well, there's a party on this weekend. Should I go? And they're having this moral con know, moral conundrum. And I'm like, I don't think you should. So here's some really easy advice.

Because we've, yes, we've, you know, there's a number out there as a guide. But actually, there's, you know, small specific advice for people who have been planning gatherings, no matter the number. And one of the things is if you can't keep social distance, then rethink. And so that's a really simple message for everyone. No matter what you're thinking about doing, think about whether or not the people that you'll be with, if any one of them ends up with COVID and you end up being part of contact tracing, which is what we do at the moment, every case we contact everyone who's been in contact with that person. If you've been closer than two metres to

them, you could end up in self-isolation for 14 days. So just think about it that way. Am I at all times two metres away from other people as much as possible? And that's your guide. So if you're thinking about going to a gathering, if you can't stay two metres away from everyone, who thinks plans?

Right. And that's kind of ongoing, isn't it? That's until told otherwise. Yep, yep. I'd call that what we'd say baseline. So the basic things we want everyone to do is social distancing all the time, washing your hands all the time, covering your coughs and sneezes

and staying at home if you're sick. What I'm asking people to prepare for are things like prepare to work from home, be prepared for that if you can. Not everyone can, I accept that. Prepare for things like cancelling non-essential travel, just prepare for all of that. Right, and the status

of the borders as of now is that non-New Zealand residents and citizens can no longer enter New Zealand. That's correct. So we were really only the second country in the world to put in self-isolation requirements on everyone coming in. We weren't satisfied that that was enough. And so now we've closed the borders.

I've just been having a look at what some of the other countries have done. I don't think anyone's made a decision like that with 28 cases. Most countries who have done that have been in the middle of outbreaks. We wanted to get it yet. So we've done that early. Really big call, though, but the right one. And for people freaking out, that doesn't mean that imports and exports have ground to our heart, does it?

No. It's only people. It's only people. Products keep moving, and you'll hear the leaders of our two supermarket chains yesterday saying that actually they've got plenty of products. They're just asking people not to panic buy because their people can't stock the shelves quickly enough. So there's no lack of food in New Zealand.

There's just panic buying slowing the restocking of shelves. Yeah, awesome. Well, thanks for your time, Anne. I appreciate that it's super shelves. Yeah, awesome. Well, thanks for your time, Anne. I appreciate that it's super busy. Thanks, everyone. We have a bit of light relief, but it feels like it's more important to get information across at this time.

And remember, covid19.govt.nz. It's a great website. It's got everything you need. But until then, look after yourselves, everyone. Awesome. Thank you very much.

Talk soon. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This is a little segment where we've perhaps noticed Fletch's ire being raised at something that we're like, okay. And so then we bring it up. Not today, though. I think you'll agree with me today.

Okay. Because I know what you're going to bring up because I was having a whinge about it before. Well, before we get to that, Megan, how do you feel about people functioning in society, given the current climate of COVID-19? Yeah, fine. I mean, everyone I've been around. They've got to go about their tasks. Yeah, going about their day. Yeah, and if people need, you know, medicine, they've obviously got to get it.

Of course. Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. I don't disagree with that at all. Okay. But what I do disagree with. So, okay okay get this Yesterday I was walking

Home in the city And I was within Maybe from a metre your way Megan And a guy let out A gigantic cough And did not Cough into his elbow Or his sleeve

Or a hanky or a tissue Or anything By the way are people or a hanky or a tissue or anything. By the way, are people still doing hankies? Boomers are, right? I think hankies are probably gonna make a comeback. Yeah, because a mum has three years ago. Give them a hot wash, they're as good as new. So this guy coughs on

me and I'm like, I'm not close enough that I'm worried but I'm nearly in that zone I think. And I definitely took a sharp left turn and jumped out of the way and I was like, whoa! He was holding a box of, he'd just been to

buy some cough syrup. This is a man holding a Robitussin who's obviously feeling sick enough to go to the chemist to buy, probably oh I'm alright, I've just got a cough but he didn't he didn't like not anytime not like even before this whole covert thing if I saw someone sneeze or cough in public oh yeah I'm always like giving them a like a an audible

disgusted look yes Because it is disgusting. Yes, it is. And I know it's hard. We've got to get into that habit of not touching our face and coughing into our elbow. Oh, man, I touch my face so much. I know. I'm the same.

I'm touching it all the time. But wash our hands. Be stroking for a think and touching the face and touching the nose. I'm a shocker. But I'm sorry. If you're sick and you're carrying a bottle of cough medicine, I mean, you might not have coronavirus.

No, but we're all... But we can't take that chance now because... We're all just exercising good habits and learning to... And he was not, that was not a good habit. Not a good habit. Yeah. So you said to get me started. Because it might not have been in your vicinity,

but someone else might have been closer to him. Well, yeah, he coughs on a, you know, a vulnerable member of society. We've got to think about these people. Yeah, my kids told a woman off for coughing. Did they? Last weekend, yeah. Brilliant.

It was one of those real, you know, someone who smoked their whole life, and they're like... Like a Sharon, like a Lynn. One of those. But she didn't cover her mouth. Also, could you do that into your album? That's what I was thinking.

Sorry. Thank you. It wasn't really into your elbow? That's what I was thinking. Sorry. Thank you. That was more of a sound I was making rather than an actual expulsion. Droplets still came out. And the girls were like, oh, no, cough into your elbow. What did she say to that? She was like. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. Friday Flashback. The Podcast Friday Flashback Time for Friday Flashback Every Friday we do this We pick an old song It's got to be at least 10 years old And it's got to be a banger And Megan you're going back to

It's more than 10 years 1990 30 years old my winners Wow I actually sat up last night Trying to figure Because it's a weird time And I was like

It's got to be something I felt like it needed to be lighthearted, but also fitting of the situation. Yeah. So I've decided to enlist the help of Stanley Burrell. Stanley is not his performance name. Okay. Or my name, whatever. But this song went number one all around the world.

It went number one in New Zealand. It was gold in New Zealand. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. In 1990. And it is quite fitting to the current situation. So when someone maybe asks to shake your hand, you can say.

Can't touch this. MC Hammer. All right, it's your Friday flashback. On, sit in. Can't touch this. Can I touch my face? No. No.

Oh, he didn't say it again. A super dope homeboy from the Oak Town and I'm known as such. And this is a beat you can't touch. I told you, homeboy, you can't touch this. Yeah, that's how we living and you know you can't touch this. Look in my eyes, man, you can't touch this. Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics. Fresh new kills and bands. You got it like that, now you know you want to dance. So move out of your seat and get a

fire girl and test this beat while it's rolling hold on pump a little bit and let the noise go on like that like that pull on the midges and fall on the back let them know that you're too much and this is a good stuff they can't touch yo i told you you can't touch this why you standing there man you can't touch this yo sound the bell school is in sucker We'll be right back. What's going to go in the 90s to burn the charts? Legit. Either work hard or you might as well quit. That's the word because you know you can't touch this. You can't touch this. Break it down. Stop. Hammer time. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, move, slide, you're up. Just for a minute, let's all do the bump. Bump, bump, bump.

Yeah. Can't touch this. Look, man. Can't touch this. You better get a hype, boy, because you know you can't. Can't touch this. Ring the bell. School's back in. Break it down. Stop.

Hammer time. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. Break it down. We'll be right back. on the mic. Now why would I ever stop doing this? With others making pickets that just don't hit. I tour around the world, from London to the Bay. It's Hammer go, Hammer, MC Hammer go, Hammer and the rest can't

go in place. Can't touch this. Can't touch this. ZM, it's your Friday flashback, MC Hammer. You can't touch this. Can't touch this. Can't touch this. Can't touch this. Just put your hand out to shake someone's hand. Very fitting in these current corona times.

Can't touch this. God, that's a long song, isn't it? I know that's the length of two normal songs these days. When is this song ending? Because it's four minutes, eight seconds. It's like two 2020 songs. Yeah, like if we have to go to the toilet during a song, like you've got two and a half minutes.

You have to run. Good feedback. Good feedback. What is feedback saying? Big time banger. I've got looks of absolute disbelief and probably embarrassed pity from both of my girls

as they smash out every single lyric. I've heard that song for... How old is that song? 30 years old? I've heard that song for the last 30 years and I've never even looked into the lyrics and I just looked and... What do you mean? It's pretty much you can't touch us

over and over again. But then in the... What do they call those other bits? Verse. Yeah. The verses. There's so many verses. He's got a lot of words in that song. Yeah, right. During that song I said to you, Vaughn, I said I wonder if he could retire with just that one song. Because you'd say

he's a one-hit wonder. Excuse me? Too legit to quit? No, one-hit wonder. He did earn a lot of money from that song, but this would also lead to his extravagant lifestyle and spending. He declared bankruptcy

and they reckon about $13 million in debt, but apparently his net worth now is $3 million US. Okay, well we just helped. But then again, you don't know if this is true

because remember that time a net worth website said I was worth $60 million? $62 million. And I don't have $60 million. Well, you're just hiding it. Oh, yeah, I'm hiding $60 million. That's why I'm wearing the same T-shirt that I've had for a year. Am I a bad person?

And turning up to work very early every morning. Oh, yeah, exactly. Good point, actually, yeah. Maybe you're one of those people that likes working. No. You know this is

not true for any of us. You know this to be a lie. Alright, it's time for Am I a Bad Person? And somebody's reached out with a problem. This is a problem

with the in-laws. Am I a bad person? We visit my in-laws a lot, way too much in my opinion, but we gave them their first and only grandchild, so I don't want anyone to feel like they're missing out. But they keep pushing us to let them take her for alone visits. It's always in the context of, we'll do it for you, to give you a break. I've told them before that I don't feel like I need a break from her, especially because she's still breastfeeding.

And they say, well, it will give us a chance to get to know her better. Most of the time I pat myself on the back for visiting them as often as we do, but then they make me feel like I'm hoarding her to myself by not letting go. The truth is

that I'm just not that comfortable with it. P.S. She's four months old. Oh, okay, four months. Okay, well, let's go to Daddy Vaughn, who's got a couple of kids. It's been a while since you've called me that. You know, I just thought you needed a compliment in this time. It made me uncomfortable.

Do I need to leave the room? Daddy here. Oh, okay, Now that's gross. Now that's made me uncomfortable. Yeah, even made me not aroused. And I'm a big fan of myself. Four months is young. Like, if they're really pushing for it,

maybe set a date somewhere in the future. Because I think Indy, and especially if that's your first, when you have your second and your third, you don't care. But you're just like, oh, where is this? I've got friends who've got three kids and they're like, oh God, where's the third one? God, I forgot we had three. Yeah. Just remembered we had two. Because when was the moment you had your first night away from Indy? Was it a work trip? No, it was, well, my first night away, yes, was probably a work trip.

But Sade's first night away, when we were both away, was when we went to, it was actually just recently the anniversary of it. This was our friend's wedding, Alice and Brad's wedding. Right. And so she was a year and one month old. And she stayed at my parents' house for the weekend. Okay. She wasn't breastfeeding at that age.

She was a year and one month. Yeah. Wow. When we finally had a night. I think we'd done like a date night where we went out and left her with the dog

and a pack of chips. And it turned out I can't. And the sky said he can stay in a car park and that was absolutely fine. No, but we had my mum or Shardo's mum

come in a night but we were always back. But it sounds like the grandparents are very clingy, so I don't think she's a bad person at all. Yeah. But how are you supposed to tackle that without hurting someone's feelings? Okay, so someone has messaged in. They've got a four-month-old baby,

and it is the grandparents' first and only grandchild. So they are very keen to look after the grandchild. But actually, did we know that this is mum or dad? Whoever it is, one of the parents messaged in and said that they don't feel comfortable with it. Don't feel comfortable leaving. Which is understandable. Four months.

I don't know if anyone's going to find her a bad person. Kate, what do you think? Is she a bad person or not? She's 100% an awesome mum. She's doing the right thing to find her a bad person. Kate, what do you think? Is she a bad person or not? She's 100% an awesome mum. She's doing the right thing and she's got to stick to her guns. In-laws can be very very trying and

you know, the babies, haha, take it from me, but she's four months old and yeah, she's got to be at least a year old or when they're comfy. What do you think she says to the grandparents then? I would just simply say, you've had your children and you've done it your way. This is our baby.

We're doing it our way and I'm not comfortable until she's a year old. I wouldn't argue with you. No, neither. Brilliant. Kate, thanks for your call. Matt, what do you think? Bad person? Nah, not at all. She's not a bad person. She's being a really good mum.

And especially that first time around, it's a really scary thing to leave your kids with in-laws, especially because in-laws are usually insane. But the key thing here is that it's all about deflection. Deflection. So all she's got to do is say to the mother-in-law, look, pull her aside when nobody's around. Be like, I'm so thankful that you're my mother-in-law

and I really appreciate all the support that you give me. I just love this baby so much. I want to spend as much time as possible. And in a few months' time, when you're out of the Henry Bennett Centre in Hamilton, then you can come out and you can see the children. So, yeah, honestly, so I completely agree with Daddy Vaughan. You know, when you get to the second one,

you're literally high-fiving the in-laws as you walk out the door. They're not even in the house yet. But for that first one, yeah. Yeah, okay. Thanks, Matt. But Daddy Vaughn's not a thing. Let's not keep that going.

It could be. No, I don't know. It could be. Tom, what do you think? Bad person or not? Happy Friday, guys. Happy Friday? Yay.

No, I don't think she's a bad person at all. Okay. But my question is, what's the partner doing in this situation? Yeah, a few messages about that saying those are his parents. He needs to be putting them in the spot because they'll forgive him quicker than they forgive the daughter-in-law. Yeah, not up to her. Thanks, Tom.

What would you say text message-wise? Nobody said that she's a bad person. Yeah, just... Someone said it's their first kid, four months months old you're still figuring out the entire situation how everything works. I think they're obviously just excited aren't they?

But good luck dancing around there. Yeah. Somebody said my son's three and I've still not let him with my mother-in-law

because she gave him Fanta when he was ten months old. She just wants to treat him. Oh my God. It's time for She just wants to treat him. Oh, my God. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. It's time for...

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Some people like to have their ears blown on, and lately they've not been able to. Right, yeah. You know, to have an ear played lightly. I'm not talking about someone like getting on your ear and being like. Although I had a. It's loud and it's warm and it's in my ear. I had a cow snuffle my ear yesterday and a goat nibble my ear. At two different times I wasn't having some sort of.

Think carefully about what you're about to say. And it was nice. It was comforting. That's what I was trying to stop you from saying. A big warm nose. A big wet warm nose going. Megan was trying to help you there, Vaughn. Yeah.

Yeah. And a goat being like. The explanation's not any better. And then there might be people who are missing out on getting. Yeah, right. Okay. Anyway. That just sounds like you've left a window slightly ajar.

The wind's blowing. Anyway. That's in my direction. It wouldn't get there. Oh, sorry. I'm microbiologist Vaughan Smith. It won't get there. You're fine.

It won't get there. We've practised social distancing. We're in a cubicle together pretty much. We're a metre apart from each other. There was a story that people who have put themselves into self-isolation have put up their Christmas decorations to make themselves feel better. Like their Christmas lights and stuff. Yeah.

That's nice. Because it makes it feel like there's a better reason for them to be at home. You can put your Christmas tree up. Do what you want. It's your house. I might can put your Christmas tree up. Do what you want. It's your house. I might actually put my Christmas tree up. Here's the problem. It's a big old strain on the national power grid

and the US is a great example because today's fact of the day is US Christmas lights alone use more energy than entire countries use in a year. Wow. Because they do go overboard the United States, don't they? I never thought about that. So American Christmas lights, the power used by them

uses more electricity in the period that they're up for than El Salvador or Ethiopia do in a year. Wow. Christmas lights in America account for 6.63 billion kilowatt hours of electricity consumption every year. They should all be solar. Bear in mind that in 2017, the population of El Salvador was 6.3 million people.

Okay, and America's 300. Yeah, it's a lot, but not all of them have Christmas lights up. But 6.3 million people using power for a whole year. Yeah. That would be a lot. Can you tell me what the populations of Tanzania and Ethiopia are? Because El Salvador uses 5.35 billion kilowatt hours in an entire year versus America's 6.6 just on Christmas lights.

Tanzania has 57 million people. So Tanzania uses 4.8 billion, so less than El Salvador a year. It is a third world country. It's a developing country. And Ethiopia has 105 million. 105 million and they use 5.3 billion for the entire year. Wow. Oh.

It's enough to run 14 million refrigerators for a whole year. Good Lord. So maybe don't put up your lights, Megan. Well, no, I want to put up the tree. I'll just leave the lights off. Ta-da. That's a good idea. Because that's the thing when we don't stay up really late.

That's when you get your most out of Christmas lights, especially in New Zealand. In December, it's light till 9 o'clock at night. I know what you've got to do. You've got to grab those ones you stab into the garden, the little solar power lights for your path. Put those in the tree.

Yeah. My mum collects those. Hang them in the tree. She has so many. But there's solar powered fairy lights too. Yes. And then if you don't get

sunshine that day or they don't charge enough, you only get to see them for as long as they're charged. And I reckon people won't be panic buying those. You probably get a good deal on those at the moment.

Yeah. Fairy lights. It's true. Probably not being panic bought. No. But then also not in a lot of stores because it's not Christmas. So today's fact of the day is America every year for Christmas lights uses more power than developing countries.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So I went to Invisible Man yesterday in the movies And I'm a real scaredy cat And I This is with Elizabeth Moss Yeah I jumped so Like hard I had such a jump That I let out like a

Yelp I don't think I've ever yelped in a movie before What is the idea Give us the synopsis of this movie There's a man And he's invisible He's invisible But then what is Is that it She can Okay, there's a man. And he's invisible. He's invisible.

But then what is... Is that it? She can't see him? That's her ex and he's... How did he get invisible? Well, I'm not going to tell you that because it's part of the movie. It's really good. He got bitten by a radioactive spider. And now he's an invisible Spider-Man?

His parents were shot in front of him. No, it's not that crazy. Okay, right. But it's real jumpy. Right. She's great. Now, did she think about just getting the talcum powder and waving it in front of her just to see if he's there? It's not that crazy. Okay, right. But it's real jumpy. Right. She's great. Now, did she think about just getting the talcum powder and waving it in front of her just to see if he's there?

Not talcum powder, but yes. Predictable movie. Okay, carry on. No, don't mean. It was good. I would have used a stestos. Joke's on you, Invisible Man. You've got cancer.

Judging by the lawsuit That Johnson and Johnson Have had to deal with With talcum powder Same thing Bourne Yes So I went to see that It was very scaly for me

Okay And I had Fully I was fully prepared To have nightmares Because I always have nightmares After I watch scaly movies You know like with it

Close that well Scaly What's the one with The people with the scissors Edward Scissorhands No Jordan Peele Project Runway Oh yeah That was a great You know, like with It. Close that well, scale away. What's the one with the people with the scissors? Edward Scissorhands. No, Jordan Peele. Project Runway.

Oh, yeah, that was a great movie, wasn't it? Yeah. I went through phases of seeing when I go to work in the morning. What about Jeepers? Have you watched Jeepers Creepers? No. Yeah. I see people standing. That country road you take to work,

sure would change in the early mornings if you watch that. No, because I imagine people at the end of my driveway in orange jumpsuit with scissors, and then I imagine, like, It people at the end of my driveway in orange jumpsuit with scissors, and then I imagine it standing at the end of my driveway. So yeah, I'm not good with scary movies. So I'm fully prepared to have a scary dream. But I didn't. I had a dream last night that I was swimming in the ocean

with my husband. Here we go. It's really short. So, yeah, we were swimming in the ocean. And then this, like, massive jellyfish. It was big. It was brown with big, long tentacles. How big was it?

Bigger than a basketball. Bigger than a basketball. Okay, yeah, right. Like an inflatable beach ball that you'd throw around in a pool. Probably that big. Like a Swiss ball? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big Swiss ball jellyfish coming at me. Aggressive, fast, big tentacles coming to get me. That's when my husband grabs it and it wraps itself around his arms and starts stinging him. And I'm like, oh, my God, you saved me. Is it not stinging you? And he said, yeah, but I got you. But nothing was invisible.

No, nothing was invisible. And he chucked the jellyfish away and I was like, oh, my God, you saved me. I woke up and I woke him up to tell him that he saved me from a jellyfish. He didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't care? I've got you, baby. I didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't care? I've got you, baby. I'll save you.

When in real life, you're pretty just going to swim out of the way and let it eat you. Isn't that cute? I have dreams about my husband. Jellyfish don't hunt either. This dream's full of inconsistencies. It is a dream, yeah. Why don't you tell everyone about your dream last night? I had a dream that I came home and Sade was hooking up with Lucina off The Bachelorette.

It was pretty awesome. I can't believe you actually said that. I thought you were just going to be like, no, I'm not telling that. No, I've told Sade I had the dream. Oh, yeah, right. What did she say? Well, I've already been in trouble. You're double jeopardy.

You're only going to get a present twice. Why did you tell her? You're an idiot. No, because when I walked in, it was one of those dreams where it wasn't happening, but you knew it had. I was like, what have you two been up to? And we're very coy about it. Very coy about it. But there's nothing, there's no payoff for me.

That was just the dream. That was about the extent of it. Oh, so you didn't actually end the dream you arrived after. I think I interrupted something. Oh, right. Poor Lucina. I mean, Sade, she bought into that. She said yes, but

Lucina. She hasn't done anything. Come on, she's on a show with however many dudes. Yeah, right. Stranger things have happened. A lot of inconsistencies in your dream too. Flesh Fauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. So obviously we're seeing crazy lines at the supermarket.

Megan, your line at the supermarket yesterday, you went for an hour, you waited an hour and a half. Yeah, to get to the checkout. We were all having yarn, so everyone was in pretty good spirits where I was. Right, yeah, because there have been some barnies. Yeah, punch-ups. Because I thought we'd been mostly all right at the supermarkets.

I know people are panicking, but someone messaged in saying that they're having to work on security. They're a security guard, yeah. And because there have been punch-ups in the supermarket. Just be chill. Unlike Australia that has even been caught on camera and gone viral. In the Netherlands, forget toilet paper, people lining up, not even joking, for weed.

To panic buy weed. Like literally look at this line of a photo outside a weed store there. That's just one of them. Jeez. It's legal. So 50 people in that line. You're going to be locked inside. Yeah. Yeah.

You are going to go through your food reserves a little bit quicker. That's true. I know someone that lives in Amsterdam. Oh, yeah. Who shall remain nameless. Okay. But they said when they learnt that they were going to be sort of isolated for two weeks, they went and bought, and the limit was per person, one weed brownie a day from the cafe.

Oh, okay. Because they wanted everyone to have some. So they had them and their partner, 14 weed brownies. They said the hardest thing was not just eating them all and seeing what happens. Because you're a lot more irresponsible. Very irresponsible. I sniffed that one you ate when we were there, and goodness me, I was just...

I just sniffed it, didn't I? I had a sniff of your brownie. You gobbled the whole thing up. I don't think that's the story I heard. I don't think that's the story, because you thought a pile of sticks was a bicycle. That had been abandoned, and then didn't you cry over the abandoned bike that was actually a pile of sticks was a bicycle. That had been abandoned and then you cry over the abandoned bike that was actually a bundle of sticks.

Yeah, and then literally when I realised it wasn't a bike, from the crying to the laughing was like... Like, it happened. Remember when we could travel? Anyway, seriously though, we did have the Prime Minister on the show earlier this morning. She has been in contact, has been speaking regularly with the

two CEOs that head up the two supermarket companies that together own everything in New Zealand, all the supermarkets. They are fine to supply, as normal, so we do not need to be panic buying. Toilet paper is made in New Zealand. We're not running out of trees, but

it's just a problem. The only problem is they're having the supermarkets. The staff can't stock the shelves quick enough. There are actually people if, I've seen supermarkets advertising jobs for people to stock the shelves. Yeah, me too. And I think it's, yeah, they're paying $20 an hour, or the one I saw was, I can't speak for every supermarket,

but it's $20 an hour to help them stack the shelves overnight just because it's just an ongoing job. But that's also20 an hour to help them stack the shelves overnight just because it's just an ongoing job. But that's also why it's so important to respect the limits that have been put in place. Yeah, because a lot of supermarkets are limiting things like toilet paper, pasta, rice. So that there's enough for everyone. And respect the people working there because while they're working there

to help you out, that means they can't be sorting themselves out. It's got to be nice to each other. And as Matthew McConaughey has famously said today, every red light turns green. Yeah, and let's make some lemonade out of these lemons. COVID19.gov.nz is a website with all the information on general hygiene, the financial support that the government offered this week,

tips on self-isolation and staying home. Let's remember the messaging as well. If it's not coming from covid19.gov.nz or it's not officially in the news from a press conference with a government official or a reputable news source, then don't believe it. The text that went around yesterday, I saw another one today. It's crazy.

Don't be sharing those. And look after each other. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZDM's Bree and Clint a listen too? those. Yeah. And look after each other.