ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 25th 2020

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

Homeschool Timetables Top 6 - Virtual DatesExec Producer Anna's Last Supper Fiasco Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Flesh Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Alright you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. I've found three news headlines from news sites around the world. And Vaughan and Megan, you must pick one of the following three headlines and then we'll delve into that and get the juicy details of the story. Headline one, four-year-old up all night reading. Headline two, mechanics go the extra mile.

And headline three, Florida police looking for burglars who robbed marijuana dispensary at 4.20. Hell of a time. Hell of a time. Their four-year-old up all night reading. They found meth in a four-year-old's book. I read that online.

Yeah, sadly, yeah. Mum was trying to press it flat like a four-leaf clover. I don't know. Or something. I don't know enough about meth. Yeah, hence the headline that he was up all night reading. He wasn't taking it. It was just the headline.

Just found it. His was the best book. So you know that story. So do you want Mechanics Go the Extra Mile or Florida Place 420? Mechanics, please. I think so, yeah. Mechanics, you want Mechanics? Okay.

We go now to Florida, where a man called Victor wants to know what happened to his car when he took it into the Mechanics. Me too, Victor. This got me thinking. It's been a while since we've had one of those airport joyride stories. Remember we had about one of those a month for a while there? Where you would leave your car to be parked, but in the course of moving it, they'd put 50 k's on the clock and the brakes would smell.

Or you have a flash car and you park it at the airport and someone takes it for a joyride. It's been a while since. They must have cracked down on that. Or it just hasn't been in vogue in the news, maybe. I don't know. Well, they've got other things to worry about. A man took his car into a Florida repair shop,

and he got it back. Now, it's not a new car. It's just a 2003 Jeep Liberty. And when he got it back, he received two parking tickets and two toll charges in different counties. And there's more.

He claimed that while he was cleaning the car after he picked it up, he found sand and stains on the back seat. Oh my God. What's he like? Siri's piping it. She's like, I found some information on tolls and charges in other counties.

Didn't ask you. Didn't ask you. So he apparently found sand and stains on the back seat, clothing tags, and a pink lacy thong in the back under the passenger seat. So they went for some fun times at the beach? At the beach. And he said, people have been joyriding in my car while it's meant to have been in store being fixed. What the hell?

He said he dropped it off when an engine light came on. Was the engine light fixed? Well, he said text messages between him and the mechanic and the owner of the garage showed three weeks of slow progress while they fixed the car. And then he finally got it back and he claims it was still not fully repaired. And then he gets these parking tickets, he investigates.

And, yeah, so I'm guessing that now this is in the news. But it wasn't even like a luxury vehicle? No, it was just an old car. Just to say, hey, baby, I'll pick you up for our date in a 2003 Jeep Liberty. Bring the sand bucket and spade because we're going to build some sand castles. At least give it a clean afterwards. Well, yeah, you'd think so, right? He wouldn't have known.

Yeah. Well, apart from the tickets. The parking tickets. Maybe just don't get the tickets as well. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. There is a Facebook profile picture filter that you can put on. And it's, oh, wow.

Okay, there's a few of these. Because I just searched for more information on it. I searched Facebook, stay that F, but I use the actual F, home Facebook profile picture filter. And there's some you can put on to let people know that you are DTF apparently. Oh, really? Now, who's doing that? Because mine's on Facebook.

Yeah. And while I use DTF, they use the full words. Right. Also, we're not meant to be going out. Yeah, no, I don't think this was pre-COVID times. This was pre-COVID. Remember pre-COVID times? No.

It was from a pre-COVID time. But, yeah, you can get it. It just comes up along the bottom of your profile picture and it's just stay the F at home. However, lost on some people, as I'll also do a cross-pollination here with community notices. Yep. As someone in the Roxburgh and Teviot Valley buy and sell page

has that on their profile picture. Yep. Stay the F at home. Do not socialise. Stop the spread. But then post it on their local page. We've got a really great tattooist staying here at the Holiday Park for the moment, self-isolating. They usually

travel around in their bus doing tattoos, but if you need any rework, cover-ups or original pieces done in the next two weeks, pop on down and see them. What? Wow. Yeah, not getting it there, are you? The tattooist is doing the right thing. Parking up for two weeks Yeah

Self isolating Not being on the road Stopping the spread But has obviously said To them Oh yeah well I won't be Doing any tattoos for two weeks This person's been like

Oh we'll see if anybody Wants to come down Completely missing the point Of not Yeah Having unnecessary Non-essential interactions And whilst tattoos look

Real hip and cool Yeah And you wouldn't dare Try to make a coffee On one of those Big coffee machines non-essential interactions, and whilst tattoos look real hip and cool, and you wouldn't dare try to make a coffee on one of those big coffee machines without one, definitely not an essential service. Yeah. You've got to stick within your bubbles. In your isolation bubbles. Yeah, just so cute the way you said bubbles. Stick within your bubbles.

Stick within your bubbles. Yeah. You know what that means? Who's that from? Anna's message. Yeah. Okay. I was hoping it was going to be more juicy.

No. I think the country in their moments of isolation are going to have to turn to Fletcher's texts and social media interactions for a little bit of excitement. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. It's a segment in that, actually. Yes. What, we read out my messages?

Absolutely not. Your sauciest, your sauciest interactions. You're going to be in isolation. We're the only people you're going to see. That thing is going to be lit. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I think Snapchat's going to get a resurgence, eh? Yeah.

Do you reckon? In these times? Yeah, I reckon so. I don't know, I reckon, yeah. Because, so what, you can send it and it will be gone? Yeah. All right, so you're just thinking the dirtiness is going to pick up a little bit. Maybe.

On a whole. I guess people will be bored, won't they? Yeah. They've still got the better filters, though, don't they? They do They've still got the better filters though, don't they? They do. Snapchat still has the better filters.

You always do it in Snapchat and then put it into Instagram if you want, like, cute filters. What, you did all

to have a cat face? Or dog ears and a tongue poking out. Yeah. You don't want a tongue poking out. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. It's times like these I'm. You don't want a tongue poking out. It's times like these I'm pleased I don't have young children to entertain and look after.

But a mum has put together a list of her homeschooling schedule. And if I did have children, I feel like it would be something similar to this. Okay. So, 9am. This is her timetable for the day. Okay. 9am. Home economics.

Learn how to make a decent coffee. Okay, I see where this is going. That takes an hour. Okay. 10am. Engineering. How to operate the Hoover and washing machine. So, this is British or from the South Island? Yeah.

Because don't they call it... No, they call it Lux. Lux. That's, that's right. Yeah. 11 a.m. P.E. Carrying rubbish and recycling out to the bins. Brilliant.

1 p.m. Chemistry. How to bleach and disinfect the bathroom. Just on that, are you hearing that people are mixing chemicals in their home? Don't. You could seriously gas yourself. Yeah, because people are like, well, I've got this spray

and then I've got a bit of bleach. I'll just put them in just so it kills the germs. And then people are gassing themselves. Be careful. These are 16 common product combinations you should never miss. This was BuzzFeed. Now, usually they're asking you

what Friends character you are, but this is at different times. If you mix bleach and vinegar, you create toxic chlorine gas. Yeah, okay. Just don't mix anything. If you mix ammonia and bleach, you create toxic chloramine vapors. Rubbing alcohol and bleach, you're making chloroform. That's the stuff.

Oh, my God. I put it on the rack. Jesus. You think people would easily do that, thinking that they'd made a really good cleaner? Yeah, I'm going to mix my cleaners. Hydrogen peroxide and vinegar, parasitic acid,

baking soda and vinegar. Hehehe. A volcano. A volcano. Two different brands of battery can cause corrosion. It's not just a thing to get you to buy new battery batteries, but they've got different chemical compounds and maybe varying voltages. Bear that in mind when you're trying to clean your surfaces.

So back to our homeschooling schedule. 1 p.m. Oh, we did chemistry, didn't we? Yep. 2 p.m. We're on to geography. A lesson in where the items you have strewn across the floor actually live. 3pm is orienteering how to find the wash basket.

3.30, horticulture, that's chopping vegetables. 4.30, science, learn how hot water and fairy liquid remove grease from pans. And 5pm, after school club, go to your room with the iPad and be quiet. While mummy has a drink. Brilliant. That was a good one. I saw Nigel Latta. Yep.

Am I saying that right? Latte? Latte. Nigel Latta. Talking about parents being too worried about kids spending too much time on the tablet. But he was like, there's a lot of things kids could worry about. Having a bit of extra Ryan's toy reviews isn't going to be a bad thing. Some parents are worried that, oh no

my kid's not in school, I've got to teach them and I've got to snow them under with work, but they're there also just as stressed as we are. Fun ways of learning. I was going to say download an education app or something. There's like fun ones, surely. No, there's a maths one, right?

Yeah. Called Prodigy. Yeah. And it's pretty much like a role-playing game like Pokemon in that you walk around, you've got to defeat things and you can get new pets and everything. That's great. I know, I know, but if you go outside, is it like,

oh, what's one plus two? Yeah, if you're on grade one, but you can pick what grade you are, what age you are, what you should be achieving at. Yeah. Yeah, the girls love that one. I cranked it right up the other day. I was way too hard. Maybe that's something we can work on in isolation.

I had to turn it white. Dan, I wasn't getting any answers white. But what did Nigel Latter say? Yeah, just don't freak out. It's a very different time. There's never been a time like it. So I'm spending a bit of extra time on iPads to give you a break and some sanity. Yeah, don't worry.

Because everyone else's kids are not going to be at school either, so you're all going to be just as dumb. Yeah, that's a good thing. So don't worry about it. That's a good, bad thing. It's all comparable going forward. Yeah. Yeah, we're doing a play today.

The girls, when they get up, they're going to start writing the play. Oh, okay. And when I get home, I'm going to start writing the play. Oh, okay. And when I get home, I'm going to teach them how to film it. Yeah. And then I'm going to give them a brief

how to edit it, like cut trim bits off. Right. And then they want to upload it. You're giving your kids an influences course. Correct.

They're going to have some essential clients they need to think. Yeah. Hashtag. Explain the importance of hashtag spawn at the end. Yes.

Because you don't want the ASA coming after them. No, not in these testing times. Certainly not. Not a time to have the advertising standards authority knocking on your door. If they're even working. Look, I hope they're getting some time off. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

This is the top six. I'm really about to lose my good job sticker. I only got four. You've only got four of the top six. Yep. It snuck up on me. Oh, well. To be fair, that was a two and a half minute song

if we wanted to do a top six. It wasn't going to happen. Just start from four and we'll pretend that there was two before. So shall I start from six and bluff the first two? Yeah. And then just skip one. Go from four to two.

Yeah. Good idea. What? No one will know. They will now. We've told them. Not unless you're about to tune in.

So the joke's on them but the rest of us are in on it. Yes. Make it seem like if you're listening now you're in on this neat joke we're playing. We've already done two.

To cover up Vaughan's inability to do his job. I'm an essential service. Imagine if everyone in essential services were as useless as me. That worries me. It worries me no end. Okay, no, I've got one. Just hold on. Do you need to put it at the bottom?

Is it average? No, it's actually not too bad. Okay. One more. Thank God, one. Just go from five. I can't let the people down like this, Megan. You're letting them down by making us wait.

Oh, I've got another one. Okay, so we've got sex. Yes. We've got sex. Oh, my God. I'm getting them down by making us wait. Oh, I've got another one. Okay, so we've got six. Yes. We've got six. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Top six ideas for virtual dates. Oh, great.

Awesome. And there'll be six of them. This message came in from Phil. Phil says, so guys, I have a weird but typically 2020 scenario, and it's slightly problematic for me. I've been speaking to a girl, and I really get the feeling that this could have been something good. I haven't met her yet, and I don't want to wait four weeks. Have you got any good isolation first date ideas or anything going?

So I'm assuming this has got to be, you've got to do all of this on FaceTime, really, or Skype, or a video call. Yes. So you've come up with six date ideas? Surprisingly, yes. Number six is the idea I call the Rapunzel date. Right, okay.

Get an iPad or a laptop, pull up a video chat, and then put it way away from you and pretend you're yelling up to Rapunzel in her tower. Oh, my God. That's weird. And then you're not right next to each other, so you're not like, why can't I feel them? But you can see them.

Yeah. And you're yelling. Okay. You've got the speaker really loud. So it seems like they're at a distance, but you are saying hello. Right. They want a second date. That's filled the sixth gap, so we'll move on to the next one.

Number five on the list of the top six ideas for a date in isolation, a virtual date, if you will, connect your phone to a Bluetooth speaker, put the Bluetooth speaker at the other end of the house, and yell on a date because that's pretty much what married life is anyway. Right. You could be like, hey, what are your thoughts on isolation? And then they yell back,

what? And you're like, isolation? Yeah, it's okay. And then it's just a lot of yelling down the hallway. Yeah, okay. Like our one yesterday.

Have you fed the chickens? What? Have you fed the chickens? The chickens? Yeah, the chickens. No? All right, I'll go feed them. That was great, okay.

That wasn't a metaphor either. That was an actual conversation. Who would it be a metaphor for? Number four on the list, feeding the chickens. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. Did you know that? You didn't know that, eh?

You didn't know that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Did you know that, Mountie? Yeah, you didn't know that. Oh, okay. All right. Jared's self-isolated in a studio far away,

but I can just see him if he leans around the corner. Yeah, he stops. What's Jared Newhart? Megan's the only one that didn't know feeding the chooks. Yeah, right.

Number four on the list of the top six ideas for virtual dates and isolation are Call of Duty Warzone. Now, I haven't played Call of Duty Warzone yet. Okay.

Because I'm on Rural Brewman. it would take me the entire time of isolation to download a file that big. You should have brought around you bring around your PSML, plug it in at home and then bring it in. That's a great idea. After I sanitise it, I'll wipe it down. Yeah. I mean, we're

hanging out in isolation anyway. We're in our personal bubbles. We're in our group bubbles. We're in the group bubble with a link. So, you know, drop in, smoke some insurgent fools and then have a virtual kiss. I'm pretty sure

at the end of the game the two masculine characters you select to play as can kiss. Can kiss. This should be an option. The X button on your PlayStation controller.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. You walk up, face next to each other, X, X. Kiss, kiss, kiss. It's like in Fortnite they had the dancers. Yeah.

In Call of Duty they have man on man passion. Hot. Very hot. And I'm a... What is this now? You flustered.

You flustered. See, we wouldn't have known. I didn't know what number you just did. So number three on the list of the top six ideas for virtual dates

and isolation, Animal Crossing. Now there's a new Animal Crossing. Animal Crossing was this game that a new Animal Crossing. Animal Crossing was this game that was massive. It was a bit like, kind of like a console based club penguin.

There's a lot of interaction and I believe the new Animal Crossing has online interaction where you can, I don't know, help animals cross. Look, I don't know what Animal Crossing is. That may have become obvious. But I've seen it and the cute pictures drew me right in. I saw somebody had to catch

a wolf or some sort of predatory creature and they just dug holes around it so it was stuck behind the holes and I just thought that was a super cute way of trapping a wolf. Number two on the list of the top six ideas for virtual dates while in isolation. I'm getting emotional.

FaceTime from the bath. Oh, okay. So you jump in the bath. They jump in the bath. Yep. And you have the iPad or laptop. Yep. Sitting on one of the, make your own, put a plank across the bath.

Yep. And then you look at them and you can see a person in the bath and it looks like they're sitting at the other end of the bath. So it's like a romantic spa weekend. And then you can put your toe up their bum. But you might have to put your own toe up your own bum

if you're that flexible to sort of provide that. I'd be like, yeah, you place someone in the bath, you're like, are you putting your toe

up my bum? They're like, no. And you're like, it was me. And they're like, are you putting your toe up my bum? They're like, no. And you're like, it was me. And they're like, are you towing your bum? Look, it's a confusing time for everybody. Bourne, we're going into level four.

I don't think we should be talking about towing bums. Is that a... Warning bell. Don't ring the hot person bell. There's no hot people. No, this is the hot person bell. We're letting all the secrets out today. This is the hot person bell. Don't ring the hot person bell. There's no hot people. No, this is the hot person bell. We're letting all the secrets out today. This is the hot person bell.

If you've ever heard that ring in the background, it's because a hot person's walked past the studio. That's the warning bell. For what? Just, I don't know. Any sort of warning. And number one on the list of the top six places to have the virtual date while in isolation,

The Sims. Sims 4 is getting a lot of action at the moment. It's a new Sims. Yeah, right. And it's apparently a pretty good game. But you can also interact with people. Speaking that little Sim gibberish language they speak. Pretty cute.

That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. So we are going to level four tonight. Yeah. 11.59 and that means you need to self-isolate. Now, a lot of people are getting the idea that they will go to their batch. Yes.

To self-isolate. To me, that makes sense because if you're going to have to stay inside for four weeks, why not do it by the beach or by the lake. Relaxing. Relax. Salt air. I'm about to tell you why it doesn't make sense. I know and I know. So there's a lot of

people, apparently the roads to smaller towns and areas were just absolutely packed yesterday with everyone having the same idea. There has never been anything more privileged. I know. With taking their boats and... I'm not sitting at home for isolation.

I'm going to go to the batch. Can we go in the boat? I mean, we'll just stay with the little bubble, surely. Yeah, so the Thames Coromandel District Mayor said that the traffic on the Coromandel Peninsula Road has been prolific for the last week. And lots of people are going to Taupo as well. Now, the problem is, there's a few problems with this.

They're worried about freedom campers. So if you're going in a camper van, you're not going to be able to isolate well enough. Because you don't have the facilities. You're going to be able to isolate well enough. Yeah. Because you don't have the facilities. You're going to need to use toilets and showers. You're going to need to go into public areas. Which makes it hard for people to contact trace. Yes.

Which is why we're all doing this. So, yeah, freedom campers are a no-no. They also might be tempted to move around more than if you're just in an actual house. And then also, if you're going to an actual batch at a smaller area, these medical facilities in those areas are not, they don't have the same facilities as metropolitan hospitals. So they're asking if you're going to, if those towns are going to be overwhelmed with people, if something happens,

the medical facilities in that area are not, you're going to put a strain on them massively. And especially a lot of, because a lot of older people go to like these small towns to retire. Yeah. There's going to be a higher proportion of older people as well who are more likely going to need the hospitalisation and the attention. And I mean, the batch is nice, but it's not going to be, unless it's a really bougie one,

it's not going to have everything, you know? And also, I mean, you know what it's like when you go to Whangamata at New Year's or whatever and the supermarket can't deal with it? Oh my God, that new one. You know? Small supermarket. That's the other problem is you're going to be stressing out these, like, little stores and supermarkets in these towns,

and they're just not going to be able to deal. So you've got to think about that if you are thinking about escaping to the batch. Yeah. Just stay at home. Stay... If you are in a bigger city, stay there. It has better facilities for you.

I was joking with a friend a couple of days ago about the idea of just going to a dock hut and just, like, imagine going to a dock hut. And just like, imagine going to a hut and having a hut to yourself in the bush. Yeah, but for four weeks? Yeah, no, you wouldn't be able to carry in enough stuff for four weeks. And then also if you become unwell. And then also if other people are there as well, you're there with maybe possibly travellers as well.

The Department of Conservation have closed all huts and campsites. So if you're thinking about walking into a hut, don't do it. I mean, I don't know if they can lock half of them. They can lock some of them. But, you know, there might not be the facilities there. So don't take the chance. The Mountain Safety Council as well have come out and said,

yeah, people that want to go bush, hunters, fishermen as well, just stay at home. You don't want to be traipsing around getting sick or making people sick as well, even though you think you might be out there by yourself. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Everyone can see how unorganised we are. Well, Vaughan and Sushi today.

What? No, I'm about to save the day. Okay, right. As a two-time essential broadcaster. Okay. Are you referring to your TV show? Yeah, it's been this week essential. It's on tonight, but we'll see. Yeah.

Well, no one said it had to be quality to be essential. I mean, current company under the microscope of that. Yeah. Well, we're more essential than the warehouse. Yeah. Ouch. Burn. Burn, warehouse, burn.

I don't know about that. We don't do big packs of cheap undies, do we? No, we don't. And we don't have any Schlesinger. Schlesinger branded track pants, do we? That is essential. That's such a retro warehouse callback. Slazenger.

No, they still have it. Do they? They don't. Slazenger. They have Slazenger. Slazenger. That's such a weird word to say over and over. Slazenger.

I've got Slazenger. Let me. I believe you. We may be taking a slight deviationzenger. That's not Slazenger. Let me... I believe you. We may be taking a slight deviation from... It's not essential. It's not essential. Slazenger.

Cricket, tennis, and hockey clothing and equipment. Slazenger. Right. What is the origins of Slazenger? Slazenger.

I wondered, I thought I might be jumping to the wrong conclusion to say they had a very similar logo to Puma but they also have a large cut Okay, right You've got yourself a very large cut

Also started by brothers Ralph and Albert Schlesinger Like the Adidas And Puma was started by the Dazzlers. Eddie and Rudolph Dazzler? Yeah.

Anyway, we could talk about Schlesinger all day. Formed in 1881. No. We really couldn't. We've had enough. In Shirebrook, Derbyshire, England. Oh, okay. Started out making rifles.

Interesting piece of information there. Anyway. Yes, that's right. There's been statistics and opinion pieces stating that in these uncertain times, this was pre-isolation. Yeah. People were going back, maybe a little bit scared.

They were going back to what they knew and people were experiencing an increase in the amount of exes popping back up on the scene. DMs perhaps. People that have come crawling back just ahead of the fact that we're all going to have to go into isolation with someone. So they want someone rather than no one.

Yeah. Yeah. And maybe it wasn't isolation with their initial thoughts. It might have just been a whole, oh, you don't know who's got it, but I'm pretty sure you don't. Yeah. And I would imagine people will be sliding into the dims. Is it the dims?

Am I saying that right? Yeah, the DMs. Is it the dims? Am I saying that right? The dims? Yeah, the DMs. Yeah, okay. Sliding into the DMs over the next period of isolation due to the fact that, yeah, you already know that person, right? Yeah. You personally, Fletch. You haven't had any.

No. Our dims are spoken for. No, no. No? Well, no, not anyone saying, I want to come and isolate with you. You know the age old saying, the isolation is young. I think the cut off's done now, Vaughn.

I think if we're not in isolation together today. You know, but what I'm saying is the period is young. Oh, yeah, right. Like the night is young. I'll just explain my joke. I know, I got it. The night is young. The isolation is young. We'd like to know if anyone's come crawling back this morning on the show.

Yeah. Are we talking just about this time or just in the past when your circumstances have changed? Like maybe you've got a cool job or lots of money all of a sudden. Oh, and that's caused the crawl back. And that's caused someone to be like, actually, I really like you again. Or, here's another one, people that lose lots of weight and get super hot. Oh, yeah.

And then they come crawling back. The post-breakup. Yeah, then they come crawling back because they're like, oh my God, you broke up with me and got real hot. But then you're just going to go out with them again. Just generally break up with someone. Personally. I know. I've generally break up with someone. Personally.

I know. I've never broken up with somebody. No. I've never broken up with somebody. Oh, my God. You've always been broken up with, haven't you? Yes, I have. Yeah.

What a sad. There was a mutual uncoupling. Was that the Christmas breakup? Christmas Day? No, it wasn't mutual. No, that was a mutual uncoupling. Was that the Christmas breakup? Christmas Day? No, that wasn't mutual. No, that was fully one way. No, there was a conscious uncoupling. Yeah.

Well before it was cool. Who brought up the conscious uncoupling first? Actually, she did. So that was her move. All right, so 0800DARLS.M, give us a call, and you can text as well, 9696. Has anyone ever come crawling back, whether or not it's in this last week or in the past

when your circumstances have changed or something made them come crawling back. What was it? Now that you've got a TV show, have any of them come crawling back? God, no. I've been out of the game for too long. It hasn't even made my wife come crawling back.

We're talking about when exes have come crawling on back. Yeah, a few cases of people recently having exes come crawling back pre-lockdown. And we want to know if this, and it doesn't have to have happened recently. It could have just happened in the past when, I don't know, maybe there's been weight loss or a change in fortunes or job, and then all of a sudden, someone comes crawling back. Or they try to come crawling back when you get a hot new partner. That's lovely. I know, right?

So whatever it is, 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Anonymous, what happened? Who came crawling back? Oh, so this guy, we went to school together as adults and, you know, re-hooked up again as adults. And we're seeing each other pretty casually for a while. And then when it came to, you know, make it official, he wasn't keen. So I was sort of like, okay, see you later. And then he just keeps coming back to me, you know, just clinging and trying to meet up for coffee.

And even though I'm engaged now, he just won't take no for an answer. So he's just that one that, you know, just keeps sending me messages. Why was he reluctant to make it official oh I really don't know I think he was just that you know didn't want to commit um when it you know came to you know committing I suppose but um was keen on anything else but now he's realized what he missed yeah and how did how yeah because it's weird how do you stop him from keeping on annoying you? Oh, I just had to block him. I mean, I was quite blunt

with him in the end. But he still didn't get the message. Probably needed to be. Yeah, probably. So, like, he'd message me on Facebook and then he got hold of my Instagram because I blocked him on Facebook and then he got hold of my Instagram.

So he was messaging me on there. So I've had to, like, block him on everything. That's crazy. Yeah. Okay. Anonymous to, like, block him on everything. Ugh. That's crazy. Yeah. Okay. Anonymous, thanks for your call.

Some text messages. When they came crawling back, I recently had an ex-boyfriend message me and I basically want to hook up, as they say. Yeah. That's what they said. As they say. I wanted to hook up, as they say. But he left out the fact that he had a girlfriend.

And I know he has a girlfriend. So I pretty much baited him into admitting what he wanted to do. Not that whole back and forth of no one saying it. And then I screen captured everything and sent it to his current girlfriend. As a result, he got dumped and blocked by both myself and his girlfriend. He deserved that. Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. Yeah.

Was there a sequel to Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. Yeah. Was there a sequel to Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants? I think so, yeah. They all came back for it? Put that on the list of things to watch over this period. Middle-aged woman and the... They're not middle-aged. And the stretchy Lululemons. Because they're later in life.

The Lululemons. Yeah. The Sisterhood of the Travelling... Slazenger pants. No. The Shood of the travelling... Slazenger pants. No. The Slazenger. Did Slazenger do a... Oh, I imagine they would.

A yoga pant. I'd really hope they would. Imagine they'd do one of those shell track pant things. Yes. Bad fan of the Slazenger here at the show. Next on the show, as we head in at 11.59 tonight into COVID level four lockdown, we're all meant to stay home.

It is, and seriously, it is going to- We're all going to stay home. Yeah, we're all going to stay home. Not meant to. Don't give people the option. Well, apart from essential services. Correct. You must stay at home.

You're allowed, obviously, out once a day to exercise, and if you need to go to the supermarket, if you maintain a distance of two metres, you can do that. Yes. But it is going to take a toll on our mental health for a lot of people. So next we're going to talk to psychologist Dr. Eve Hermanson-Webb to get us through. Are we allowed to say how we know her? Yes.

Tell your name. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Ahead of going into self-isolation, it's important to look after our mental health. I don't know. Sorry, what are you doing? I fell over. I went to pick up a pen and I just completely tumbled. What is wrong with you today?

No, it's like we're nan. You've got to watch the corner of these carpets. Yeah, it's all right. Hey, we're having a laugh though, aren't we? We're laughing. We need a laugh. It's very important for your mental health, as I'm sure our next guest is going to attest to. We're joined on the show by psychologist Dr. Eve Hermanson-Webb.

Good morning. Good morning. Oh, phew. I was expecting a German accent. That sounds very... Dr. Eve Hermanson-Webb. No. You know?

I mean, you might know me better by Eve. Mrs. Soundkeeper Gary That's right First of all, how do you do it? I mean, that's my voice in the gasp you heard of the secret sound It is God, that haunted us for such a long time Didn't it? Right

So, we head now into the period of isolation. This is going to be tough for a lot of people. Got any tips? What's the... Should we go for like three, five, like, or just... A general... We'll just have a general chat. Whatever you've got, really.

Okay. And as you can tell, we're losing the plot, and it hasn't officially started. We actually are. I mean, I think one of the most important things for people is to have a daily routine in terms of like if you're in isolation, getting up, having a shower, getting dressed, breaking the day into manageable chunks where you have different activities scheduled. Okay.

So you think routine and a varied routine is quite important? Yeah, I think, you know, we all need to be doing work from home if we're able to, but breaking that up with activities that give us, you know, a sense of pleasure or some things that give us a sense of achievement will really help us to make each day, yeah, feel like it's okay. The trouble is when I make a to-do list or like schedule things for myself, if I'm at home, I'll just be like, no, I'm not going to. I wonder if there's more stuff in the fridge.

Yeah. And then you snack and you get, it's quite easy to get sidetracked at home. Yeah, you might need other people to help you be accountable. Right. I'm seeing a lot of people say. Accountability. I'm seeing a lot of people say writing a list and a schedule is kind of the way to go. So you wake up, so you don't sleep in or stay up late.

You make sure you wake up at a normal time and then you do breakfast and then maybe chores and then set aside time for work. Do you think that's a good idea? Yeah, definitely. I mean, I know for me, if I'm lying in bed until midday on the weekend, I often feel pretty sort of low afterwards, thinking, oh, I haven't really achieved anything today. Yeah.

So what, are you just right off the rest of the day and have a wine? You're like, I'll do better tomorrow. Not what I'd recommend. No. But let's say, on a serious note, if people do have a bad day, is it important to like sort yourself for tomorrow?

Not just be like, well, this is me now. I guess I've just got four weeks of slumming it. Like if you have a bad day, I'm imagining most people over the period of the month will have a bad day. Yeah, and I think being really compassionate with ourselves is important. We wouldn't beat someone else up for doing that. And so just being kind to ourselves and knowing that it's understandable

that we feel anxious at the moment and that we might want to distract with playing video games all day or just watching Netflix. But actually, yeah, we're going to feel a lot better if we can take some control in our little day-to-day routine. And what about, I'm thinking of your well-being here,

being in close quarters with somebody who might drive you crazy. More like Vaughan's wife. Dealing with this. She's got a paddock she can put me in. But, you know, people in townhouses with children and who maybe don't have the option to just have a bit of alone time as easily. Yeah, I mean, we might not have physical alone time if you don't have much space, but you can easily, you know, put in some headphones, listen to some music or a podcast,

just kind of having different activities that then you can come together later and talk about will be helpful. But I mean, that's something where if we go for a walk, we're allowed to go for a walk every day. Yeah, but I was thinking if you've got kids. Yeah, you might not be able to. It's not the 80s, mate. You can't leave them at home with a pack of chips and a box of matches and say, have fun.

Yeah, right. Yeah, you can't leave them and go for a walk. It's fine for them to have a bit of screen time. You know, that's all right. Everyone needs to get through. Yeah. Yeah. I think screen time's really coming out the hero here.

Just a little bit of screen time now and then. Definitely. Dr. Eve Hermansen-Vibb. Dunker. Thank you. Gordian Morgan. Thanks, Eve. Thanks for your chat.

No worries. Take care. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, at midnight tonight We're going to level 4 Covid lockdown, only essential services Will be allowed

To work, those people that work in essential services The rest of us, we must stay At home to help each other And save each other Because if we all stay at home And we keep to our isolation bubbles Then We can get through this a lot quicker than other countries because if we all stay at home and we keep to our isolation bubbles, then we can get through this a lot quicker than other countries are at the moment.

That's the hope. Flatten the curve. What were you going to call it? The bump. The spread. The spread, yeah. Flatten the curve. Stop the spread.

Stop the spread. Flatten the curve. Flatten the curve. Stay at home. You're dead. Ting-ting, walla-walla-bing-bing. So a the curve. Stay at home. Ooh, eh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang. So a lot of restaurants and cafes shut. Megan, was that hard for you to go to the cafe yesterday because you had to get rid of all your food?

Yeah, we shut everything down. We'd just done a massive milk order. So like, yeah, just packing up all the food and everything. What did you do with the milk? We actually sold it to the dairy because the dairy is remaining open. And 100%, they'd be struggling to keep it with demand, right? They have a limit per customer. So, yeah, we sold them our milk, so that was good.

But, yeah, it was sad because I was literally like, well, four weeks minimum, but we also just don't know. Yeah. I mean, and I don't know when we're going to be able to actually trade again, so. I was very sad that Megan's Cafe shut down too because she bought me a huge block of halloumi cheese. The squeaky cheese.

I didn't want food to go to waste. Did you eat all that cabinet food I brought round? So Sade ate a scone. Sade ate one of the, was it a bacon-y cheesy scone? It was a cheese and bacon scone, yeah. Her and August loved the scone. Yeah. I can't help but notice I didn't get any food.

Well, I didn't want to have to bring it in today. It was a long drive. We lived closer. Right. Okay. And I got some parsley. I mean, I'm seeing you right now today. The cabinet food.

Yeah. And mushrooms. Big bag of mushrooms. Do you like mushrooms? Yeah, I love how you know I love mushrooms. I come to your cafe all the time and get the bacon steaks and the mushrooms. And now I've seen nothing. And the chocolate cake.

Did you eat the chocolate cake? I haven't eaten the chocolate cake. That's my today's treat. This is a kick in the balls, Megan. I'm telling you right now. Yesterday I had a bounty bar for breakfast. Yesterday? Right.

Now I didn't remember they came in two separate pieces. Yeah, they do, they do. I feel like we're being gypped of about two centimetres of chocolate there. What is the point of that? Is it supposed to be like snack wise? One for now, one for later. You're like, yeah, okay, bounty. What is the point of that? Is it supposed to be like snack-wise? One for now, one for later. You're like, yeah, okay, bounty. But is it a factory thing?

Like they can't run a bounty bar that long? Like, come on. No, no, no. You can make it crunchy. You can make it crunchy. Crunchies have a more structural, they have more structural integrity in a crunchy. Oh, yeah, so if they made a big bounty,

it's bound to break anyway. Yeah, see, the crunchy bar is the concrete. Not if you put a steel rod in the middle of it. Well, that's the thing. You'd have to put a supporting beam of solid chocolate

through the middle of the bounty bar. Now, I'd be okay with that person. This is some engineering 101. Let's get the university students onto this

in their downtime. How to make a long singular bounty bar. Now, Toblerone, looking at it, you wouldn't think that that structurally could be that long

with that much... Maybe it's triangles are the key to a structure, aren't they? Yeah, well, that's the density of the chocolate at the base of the Toblerone to hold that all together. Well, anyway, a lot of cafes shutting at midnight, and actually will be shut today already, won't they?

A lot of people doing their last meals. We're getting there, aren't you? We're getting there. We're coming to you now. Absolutely fine. I completely forgot what the point of this whole thing was about. Because last night you went to get your last meal, takeout meal before the shutdown.

Let me clarify. This was actually second to last meal. So we decided family fish and chips because I'm quarantining with mum, dad and boyfriend. Okay. So we decided that we'd do family fish and chips. But at about lunchtime, it set in. And I was like, oh, God, this is going to be my last individual takeaway.

Yep. May I critique at this early stage of operation is that it feels like fish and chips is something we might be able to replicate at home. No. No. No. You're on your bike. Get out of here. Not unless you've got a deep fat fryer.

No. Yeah. Not unless you're deep frying it, and then you've got to make that batter, and it's not the same. I would have bought them pre-crumbed. I was talking some pre-crumbed hokey fillets in a cardboard box. And what, are you buying oven fries? It's not the same. Yeah, no, oven fries.

No, it was a good choice in the end. It was delicious. But decided at lunchtime, this was last solo takeaway, I'm going to get some sals, and I'm going to get some buffalo wings. So I made my phone order. That was beautiful. And she was like, cool, we're going to get some buffalo wings. So I made my phone order. That was beautiful. And she was like, cool, we're going to do contactless payment. Just swig in, pick it up, and then on your bike.

And I was like, great. Went in, and then obviously you couldn't sit down. Fair enough. Decided I would drive to the beach and have one of my midday meals at the beach in the car. I don't like meals. That's what all those creepy dudes are doing, parked up at the beach at the car. I don't like doing it. That's what all those creepy dudes are doing parked up at the beach at midday. Meals.

I feel like when you park up in a car and eat food, like everyone judges you and looks at you. Especially if you've got a big sales pizza with steamy windows. So I've got my beautiful, now if you haven't had sales hot wings before, they come in a little container and they are saucy AF.

And they are good wings. I rate their wings. They're really good. So I'm starting to get into the wings. It's all on the sauce though. Yeah. The wing itself, small. I'll give you that.

Yeah, they are. It's all on the sauce. Yeah. So eating the wings and yeah, at this point I'm like, what am I doing with my life? Because the windows are down. What do you mean, what are you doing with your life? No one has these thoughts eating wings. Yeah, yeah, at this point I'm like, what am I doing with my life? Because the windows are down. What do you mean, what are you doing with your life? No one has these thoughts eating wings.

Yeah, true, true. And the sparrow comes and sits on this windscreen. Yeah. Is that the little sticky out bit? Side mirror. The mirror. Wing mirror. That's what I'm looking for.

So there's a sparrow on the wing mirror. The sparrow. And let's call him Barry. So Barry's there. Let's call him Sparry. Sparry. Sparry, that's a good one. Okay, so Sparry's there, and I've got a wing in my mouth,

and I'm saucy all over, and I'm like, oh, God. If I might interject, Your Honour, you do. I like one of your finest features is that you eat wings and you don't wipe your mouth until you've finished all of the wings. Thank you. I like it. There's no point in a mid-wipe.

No, but you can't leave hot sauce all over your mouth for an entire 12 wings. So I turn in the car and try and put the window up in delicate fashion. And Sperry's like, okay, we're doing this? All right. And just watching me put the bloody window up. Yep. Sperry's like, okay, we're doing this? All right. And just watching me put the bloody window up. Yeah. And then Spoozan, his obviously wahine wife, came onto the other side of the car. And she was like, I'm going to throw down.

And she flew into the car. And so I'm holding my punnet of wings, and the sauce goes everywhere. And then there's this sparrow flying in. And then Sperry hops around the other side to the other window and joins her. So there were two sparrows in the car.

Barry and Spoozy. Yeah. What are they having a domestic? I don't know they're just flapping around so then I'm like okay I'll see you later.

So the wings are in the car now. They're gone. And I've opened all the doors and we get them out and that's fine like see you team. I'm just like covered in this

bloody buffalo sauce and then i go back in the car and i'm like okay it's time to go home turn on the engine and then lizzo comes on and she's like baby how you feeling so bad. Terrible timing, Lizzo. Yeah. So you panic through the wings. Yeah. So your whole car is covered in the buffalo sauce. Yeah. So your car is now going to smell like buffalo sauce for its entire existence.

Is that a bad thing? No. There are worse smells. Yeah. Not necessarily. So did Sparrow and Spoozen get any? I think they got some spicy sauce Because Spoozen didn't look great afterwards Well that'll teach them

Well Spoozen probably had a little bit of chicken And realised what she'd done ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast Couple of minutes away from 8 o'clock And tonight at 11.59pm We move to level 4 lockdown as we attempt to flatten the curve. Stop the spread.

Stop the spread. We stay at home. The idea is we stay at home in our isolation bubbles so that we don't continue to infect or get infected. And Jacinda, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern speaking yesterday, I thought she spoke brilliantly just about, she answered all the questions the media had. She's just absolute, like, she's just in control.

I feel like when I look around the world and I see the Australian. It's like they checked before they gave her the job. I know, but that's the thing. You see other prime ministers around the world, like Brazilian's prime minister, who's a worse version of Trump. Yeah, what's he up to? I think the latest was he's calling that a conspiracy. And Trump's saying, oh, well, we might just.

Well, that's where Trump was like two weeks ago. And now the states is in a, their, their. Oh, it's insane. New York has the steepest gradient of infections of any large city in the world. Well, the latest with him is he's considering lifting lockdown. Going back to business as usual. What's a few dead people? So I feel like in New Zealand

we can do this and we'll come out the other side of this and it's good to have people in charge. Yeah. What, care about people? Yeah, I know. Interesting mood. It's bizarre, isn't it? Interesting mood for a government. But it is, it's weird times. You know, we've all seen lines at the supermarket, but yesterday in downtown Auckland,

because I live in the city, it was quite spooky at times. Like walking home from work yesterday, the line outside Countdown had, you know, like those things at the movies when you line up? Popcorn. A queue. No, yeah, but you know those.

Movie posters. And the things they have at the airport. They've got them at the airport too. A queue. No, yeah, but you know those. Movie posters. And the things they have at the airport. They've got them at the airport too. McDonald's. Those barrier things that they... Walls. Fences. They keep people in lines.

Ropes. Ropes. Ah, ropes. I never would have got that. You know what I'm talking about. But it was... A velvet rope. Yeah, like those things.

They weren't velvet, though. No, they come out on a... We know what you're talking about. Yeah, those things. So they were outside the supermarket. There was a policeman. There was security. They were making sure people in the line were two metres apart.

And then going into the supermarket, obviously they weren't letting many people in at a time. Well, they could have let everybody that was lining up in, but then we're all going to be not respecting the team. In a crowd. We're going to be in a crowd, which is what we're trying to, you know, avoid. Now, that was a countdown supermarket. I know other supermarkets weren't doing that.

I went to a supermarket that wasn't. But on the way in, there was a guy who said, want some of this? And he had a little hand sanitizer. Right, okay. Sure, and you put your hand out and he goes, squirt, squirt, and he actually said squirt, squirt. I don't know why that tickled me.

I liked that he said squirt, squirt. Yeah, it was just weird and there was one guy that had a Bible and was yelling out. That's helpful. Like it was the end of the world. That's really unnerving. That's helpful. It was and then I walked past a store and I know you mentioned this to me

yesterday, Megan, but it wasn't until I saw it that I was really confronting. A store, a cafe had shut up, and they just left their cash register till empty and on display right at the front door, as if to say, don't break in. There's nothing here to steal. We did that too.

Every time we close, we empty it out, and you leave it on display so that people can see there's no cash held on the premises. It's just so people don't break in. But it was weird to see cafes had put their tables and tied them down and they'd emptied everything in store. Tied them down. So they're still outside but they're tied down. Yeah, like they just know that they're not opening anytime soon.

So they've just literally tied them to the front doors so that no one can get in. And you see businesses that are like putting scaffolding in front of their stores or boarding up stores. It's just, it's crazy times. It's crazy, but it's necessary. It is, yeah. Because if we don't, this is, the Italy situation is not something we want happening here. No. But also don't let that panic you. These are just precautions that people being extra vigilant

and just taking precautions for their own businesses. So don't let it panic you. Because I rang and had a big chat to Manan yesterday. Yeah. Rang and had a 20-minute chat with Marlene yesterday. How is she coping? Well, she's most gutted about no sport. Yeah.

But she has found a couple of old Warriors games that she forgot about. Well, she can't remember the result. Well, yeah. She said she's hoping they show the 2002 season because that's when the Warriors made the grand final. Which I think is a good one. That'll get everybody back on board to support the Warriors again next year when all this is over.

All right, well, you can get all the information regarding the latest COVID level and updates from the government at COVID19.gov.nz. Alana, good morning. Good morning. How are you doing pre-lockdown? Okay. Okay.

Not wearing too much. Okay, that's good. That's good. Well, we can still go to the supermarket. We can still go out and exercise. Yeah. Two metres. Have you got a good isolation pack, Alana?

Like you're isolating with family or like a flat or? Just family. Yeah. Okay, that's good. As your mum part of that family? I wish she was, but our dogs don't get along, so we can't isolate together. Oh, that's a thing you do have to think about that, don't you?

Well, what better way to make them get along than spend four weeks together? Either that or one of them doesn't survive. Okay, well, okay, it is time to play. It's still a dark turn. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Buddy Dog Fights happens over there. When I was in the neighbourhood, Dog, okay, it is time to play. It's still a dark turn. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Buddy Dog Fights Pappas over there. When I was in the neighbourhood, Dog Fights, the Herald Island Dog Fights.

We're all going to meet and stand apart, but our dogs are going to fight in the playground. That's terrible. We shouldn't be doing that at all. All right, so Vaughan has five questions to ask Alana, and then has 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. If he can do that, $100 cash. Cool. All right, my that, $100 cash. Cool. All right.

My first question, question uno. Does your mum wear or own any clothing of the Schlesinger brand? I'm pretty sure she does. Really? Yeah, right, okay. Right. Have you ever seen your mum boozed? Like, proper boozed?

Have you ever seen your mum boozed? Most definitely and often. Oh, okay. So your mum's a big drinker. Well, no, but she enjoys a drink. Yeah. Yep. She's not an alcoholic.

Disclaimer, disclaimer. Am I allowed to ask a question? No. Because that'll help you. I'm painting a picture of your mum here. Yeah. Your dogs don't get along. So she's got a barky dog.

She wears slasher. She loves a drink. Okay. Does your mum have any nicknames? Yes, she does. I don't know. I don't think you should be allowed to tell us those nicknames. No, no, that wasn't a question, Your Honour.

Okay. It's all yes and no, remember? Yeah, okay. Good. I'm just, don't cheat. Question four. What is your mum's go-to dish? Like, what does she cook for the...

You just said it was just yes and no's. You can answer that question. I'll allow that, Your Honour. I don't know. She's got me... She always cooks a Sunday roast, and that's what we expect. Is it always the same meat?

Is it always the same meat? No, she makes sure it's different every week. So she does a bit of pork, a bit of chicken. Good. Yeah, I'd want to be on lockdown isolation with that. Yeah. You've got a lot of roasts going on there. Okay.

All right. Just writing that down. And question five. Well, technically you asked two questions then. Why are you being such a stickler today? My nose feel like it. Don't you want to help me guess the dad's name again? Okay.

Didn't that feel good? Yeah, it did. Trying to poo-poo it before we even get there. Okay. Okay. Hey, everyone's a bit tense. We're going into isolation. Now, my final question is,

is your mum going to fully obey isolation rules? Obey them. Obey them. Obey them. Yes, she's even started thinking about doing it today. Oh, good, good. She's just that early. Good work, mum. Yeah, we should, we should.

Okay, all right. Well, Alana, Vaughan is going to try and guess your mum's name. Now, he has 15 seconds. He'll read out a whole bunch of mum's names. If you hear your mum's name, say, stop, that's my mum's name. Yes. Okay, ready? All right, you have 15 seconds, Vaughan, starting now.

Lisa, Karen, Michelle, Tanya, Joanne, Nicola, Angela, Deborah, Tracy, Kim, Susan, Sharon, Paula. I was really thinking it was Sharon. Paula, Donna, Catherine, Rebecca, Jane, Megan, Jennifer, Raewyn. Oh, no. Vaughn. That looks so disappointing. I was thinking the Sharon or the Tracy were going to be the hot points. I feel like it will be one of those classic mum 80s names.

Did you say Kim? Alana, what is your mum's name? Belinda, and you said so many names ending in A. But not Belinda. Belinda. And what's dad's name? Darren. I was going to say David.

Belinda and Darren. Darren. Classic. Parents' names. What's her nickname? Just out of interest. Bin. Bin.

Bin. Bin. Bin. Bin. And you said her middle name. What's her middle name? Jane. Okay, well, you're not getting any money.

Belinda Jane. Belinda Jane. Old BJ. Yeah. Classic. Alana, sorry we can't give you any cash. That's okay. You look after yourself.

Thanks for playing. You too. It'll be back again next week. What'll it be? Oh, because we didn't give away the money. We didn't give away the money. So that's good. We can keep that money.

Otherwise, we are going to have to start giving away stuff in the office, I've decided. Yeah, no one's here to say no. Yeah, one of those office chairs could be like $300 or $400. Not to be scoffed at. But then where are people going to sit when they get back? We worry about that later, Vaughan. We've got an issue to deal with next on the show. This is just a risen.

Yeah, Megan. Oh, we don't know how Megan's going to cope during the next four weeks. Queen Megan II. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Well, we were just saying before, weren't we, we were into our instant coffee as we do every morning, Fletch? Yep, real, you know. Well, we're men of the people.

We are. That's what they'll say. They'll say they're broadcasters of the people. That's probably why we're in this as an essential service. We're not husking. He's probably got to deal with Nespresso. He's probably a Nespresso. Or doesn't he drink like a warm lemony?

Oh, no, he only drinks warm water. Yeah. Doesn't he? Yeah, because he's weird. I don't know. Different to you? Yeah, so that's weird. I just don't know how anyone could get up that early in the morning

and drink warm water, but he does. But yeah, we're just instant coffee people, aren't we? Don't get us wrong. We're not Greg's Rib Ribbon. I'm a Mekona. Hi, yeah, you got it right. Now, we were saying before, Megan's like, I'm jonesing for a coffee. Yeah.

And we said, well, do you want to have an instant? And she turned her nose up. I believe your exact. Like the crown princess moniker of Denmark. Yeah. Is that a thing? I don't know. Sounded like it though, right?

It did. It did. It did. Okay. So when you own a cafe, there is no need to have instant coffee. So this is going to be an adjustment. You don't have to act like I'm the queen princess. Sorry if I get interrupted.

It's actually Mary, crown princess of Denmark. Oh, Mary. Monica. That would be a worrying thing for me if I owned a cafe because I'd probably drink nothing but. Yeah. And then I'd have the jitters. You have to limit yourself.

So you've become a snob, a coffee snob. No, she was a coffee snob before. Would we say a coffee snob? Would we just say like an aficionado? Like, I just don't really want to drink instant. I mean, what are you doing? I'd say snob. I was just trying to work out like where these are from.

I was going to say, oh, these are packed in the Netherlands. Right. Right. Okay. Makona. Also, don't act like you guys are jonesing for a normal coffee after the show all the time. I know when we go into lockdown,

I'm going to be absolutely hanging out for a mocha. Because are you going to put Milo with your Makona? That's a Milo Chino, though. That's a different. That's not a mocha. That's a Milo Chino. Yeah. But I'm certainly going to be hanging out for that.

But we do have the coffee machine in the office. Yeah. Now, the coffee machine in our building, there's a communal area in there. Obviously, no one's using that at the moment. Yeah, it's been shut down. But it's our allocated kitchenette area. That's where we can make coffees and stuff because everybody's got allocated areas. Now, the big baristery.

Oh, and they've got that. The big barista-y... Shane, it's in there. They've got that thing that they take off the handle and bang it on. Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. Yeah, and then they get that little hammery thing and they put the coffee down. Oh, that's the tamper, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's the tamper. They pack it into the doofar and then they put the doofar on the clicker and they clicker it into the...

Do you know how to use that? Because you've run a cafe. I don't know how to, like, I don't know how to clean it. So I don't know. And you have to run stuff through it before you want to use it. And I don't know how to do all that. And I also don't know how to froth the milk properly. What have you been doing for a year?

I'm not the barista. I work in the kitchen. Now, what about Mr. Toy Boy? Because effectively he falls into our isolation bubble, our family, our isolation family. He's the barista. So I'm floating the idea he should come in and make us coffees. Yeah, right.

Since he's in our isolation bubble. Because also those beans are open. They're not going to survive four weeks. Someone needs to use them. Waste not, want not. And then. What? And then what?

This is to spice it up. You pretend you don't know each other and you just pretend he's the new work barista. Why are you doing that? You go out there. You say to us, you'll be like, guys, I'll get the coffees. And so she goes out there. Do you actually want to see that go down? No, because that's why you're doing it out there. You say to us, you'll be like, guys, I'll get the coffees. And so she goes out there.

Do you actually want to see that go down? No, because that's why you're doing it out there. Oh, right. And then you're like, oh, my God, are you new? And he's like, he is. I'm new. Where's he from? I don't know.

That's the exciting part. They're going to have to find out. And then they can role play like they don't know each other. I think that's quite a nice thing Vaughn's done for you there, is spicing up your isolation relationship. Right. Because my isolation relationship is we pretend we're fed up with each other the whole time.

And what's the end game? I don't know, we haven't written that part yet. We also haven't even gone officially into isolation, so how's that going? That's the exciting part. Yeah, right. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about a NASA spacesuit. Okay. Because you may have seen there's been lots of people taking precautions with COVID-19. Going a little overboard with the hazmat suits and stuff in public, which I think is creating more fear. Yeah. Gloves, constant hand washing, and now forced isolation,

probably the best way to deal with it. But the NASA spacesuit, to make a standard spacesuit, $12 million each spacesuit. That's US dollars. What? And in there, it is capable of having astronauts comfortably between 156 degrees below Celsius to 121 degrees Celsius.

So that's above boiling point of water. Oh, wow. Okay, right. I have a question. Go ahead. Do the astronauts only ever wear one suit the whole time they're up there? Or do they have ones that they like? I don't know.

How do you wash it? Yeah, good call. It's not like it's going through the washing machine. Well, the space suit that Buzz Aldrin wore when he was filmed in a warehouse in slow motion to make it look like he was walking on the moon. That was called Apollo A7L, that space suit. Right. And he had his own.

That's now on display. All of the ones that went to the moon are on display. Yeah. But I don't know. I can't find whether or not when you become a space astronaut. That sounded better in my head because I was like, surely you're an astronaut before you go into space. Like you could be in the astronaut program, right?

Yeah, right. What, you could be an earthbound, a Russian one? Oh, I don't know. Yeah. That's the only difference between an astronaut and a cosmonaut, right? As one's a Russian one? Oh, I don't know. Yeah. That's the only difference between an astronaut and a cosmonaut, right? Is one's a Russian one. Yeah.

What are Kiwi, if we ever have astronauts? Ooh. Castronaut. Kiwi. Kiwi astronaut. A blackstronaut. Yeah, because they were always

just like, you know, black ferns. Or blacks. Yeah, that doesn't work in country, some countries. No, they're very confused about that. Yeah. They'll be like, this countries. No, the American peers wouldn't know. Yeah. They'll be like, this is the world's first blackstronaut,

and then they'll lift up their visor and everyone will be like, very wise. Yeah. But I won't say anything. Yeah. Yeah, so that cost $12 million to make, and right up until this year, there's been none specifically made for females.

They had to squeeze the boobs into male ones. That'd be right, wouldn't it? And the hips. That'd be bloody right. And the hips. Yeah. The hips, the boobs, the bits. Yeah.

And they even had a little more room at the front for the package. For the package, the penis. Right yourself. There's no more room at the front. No, no, no, they did. That's part of it. I remember because earlier this year they revealed the first space suit specifically designed for female

astronauts. Right. Up until then they'd been a unisexual one. But you go in for your fitting and they're like, we've made a substantial space here for your package. I'd be like, it's cold in space, though, isn't it? Oh no, it varies. It gets really warm. Oh yeah, mine goes small and it gets really warm too.

This perfect sort of post-hot shower temperature that's just right for it. Yeah. But other than that, very, very, it's very sensitive to climate change. In fact, like frogs and bees, my penis is a sign that the climate is changing to a non-reversible level. Well, in fact, if I could quote Ross Boss just on Tuesday, he said, at least with all of this COVID chat going on, you won't talk about your penis as much, Vaughn.

He's wedged in there. What day is that? Tuesday. What day is it today? I need to remember what day that was. Monday or Tuesday. Ross said that. Monday.

I believe Monday, yeah. I meant it's a Wednesday. Well done. Oh, my God, what is happening? Well, they built the spacesuits. So today's fact of the day is that every individual NASA spacesuit costs $12 million US dollars to make. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Tonight at 11.59pm, we go into stage four of the COVID lockdown. Now, this is where only essential services and people working in those services will be allowed out, like doctors, nurses. That is 15 hours and 14 minutes away. Until level

four. Now the website that you can go to, the government website, covid19.gov.nz for all of that information. Also, I feel like every time we say it's lockdown, we need to, again, reiterate there's no need to storm the supermarkets like the beaches of Normandy because they're staying open. Yeah, and I read an article as well.

Countdown is saying that they're taking extra measures to help protect staff. So they're even going to put up some plastic screens by the sounds of it asking you to use contactless payment if you can. A lot of banks have been waiving those fees and also making sure every second self-serve checkout is shut

so that there's a two metre gap. And a lot of people, it's like I saw yesterday at Countdown, it was like going into a nightclub. It was like one in, one out. And they're limiting who... I have to wear my black shoes. I did see someone get turned away with white sneakers. Also, I've been preloading.

No. You walk up, you're like, you're here for shopping. Yeah, man, I'm all good. I'm playing a cool. I'm not here with just me. Hmm? You know, when you're trying to act not drunk, you talk too much. Yeah.

Hey, how are you, mate? Yeah, no, real good, man. I'm just, I've been, I'm not doing much. I'm just definitely not drinking too much. I'm just going to catch up with some friends. Danielle's waiting. Danielle is waiting. Let's get her on the phone then.

Get her on the blower. From France, in La Rochelle. She's a Kiwi. Stuck in France. Danielle, good morning. Good morning. Happy lockdown day. Danielle, good morning. Good morning. Happy lockdown day. Bonjour.

Thank you. Thank you. Now, you're some eight days ahead of us on lockdown day. We are, yep. Can you leave to go to the supermarket, or how intense is your lockdown? Yeah, it's getting more intense by the day. Yes, we can leave to go to the

supermarket. We can also go to the pharmacy, to urgent medical appointments, to exercise, but we can only walk and run one kilometre away from home, and then we have to turn around and come back. That's actually quite, I think that's a good rule. I think that might be something they look at doing here if it doesn't get under control. Like really limiting this. Yeah, at the moment this exercise, going out for exercise

could be something that people find a loophole in. If you're looking for loopholes, you're missing the whole point of what we're supposed to be doing here. That's right. Yeah. No, it's surprising though how many people suddenly want to go outside and exercise. Yeah, well, that's the thing, because have you found, like, I mean,

I don't know, what's your living situation in France? Is it an apartment? No, we're actually very lucky. We've got a house and it has a garden and really lovely neighbours, so, yeah. So I'm guessing a lot of people in, you know, French apartments would just be going stir crazy, wanting that exercise.

Oh exactly. Yeah, totally. And lots of people in Europe also have dogs, so all the dogs need to be walked and that's another excuse to get out the house. I did see someone, a video from Europe yesterday, they were lowering their dog down by the leash from the first floor. Oh my God! Did they have a harness on or were they...

By the collar. Was the dog like... No! Are you joking? I'm terrified. Did they have a harness on or were they? By the collar. Was the dog like, oh, no. Are you joking? I'm not joking. No. What the hell? No, there should be an exception for that. Yeah.

So how, now, if you do go outside for a walk or a run, is it being policed? Yes, it is. So there's a note that you have to take. If you don't have a printer to print out the government one online, we can handwrite it. It needs your name, your birth date, your address, where you're going, and what the time is that you left the house. So it's very intense.

And then you need to sign it yourself. And if you are caught without it, you do get a €135 fine. Wow. €135. And are there a lot of police? That's €250 New Zealand dollars. That seems fitting. Yeah, it's a lot of money.

Are you seeing a lot of police out on the streets? Yeah, so we do live in a small coastal town, and even smaller is our suburb. And I have a dog, and I walk him around the block still. And I saw three policemen the other morning I don't know if it's the same car that's just doing rounds but it's very much police which is, I didn't think

it would be so police but it definitely is. So is there any tips then for us that you have found helpful in self-isolation that you can pass on to us? Yeah, well like said, we are lucky because we do live in a beautiful house.

But a number one tip was probably to keep your treats cupboard stocked up because when you're doing your supermarket shop, they don't look that important, right, to buy the chocolate and biscuits. But when you get home, you instantly regret if you don't get enough. So definitely get your treats in.

Oh, don't you worry, Danielle. I've stocked up some treats. Not much else, but definitely treats. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Another one is just to keep your routine as much as possible. I know it's super hard when you have nowhere to get up and go. But if you do, just get up, open the curtains, open some windows, make your bed.

You get yourself in the right mindset to start the day, which is very good. Vaughan just was like, make the bed? Yeah, see, windows I'm okay with. If I left the house at 4 o'clock in the morning and I'm like, curtains open, windows open. Okay, okay, very true. That is easily the best part about getting up so early

is I never have to make the bed because I was never the last in it. Yeah. And that's always the rule, right? Last in the bed makes the bed. I know what you're saying, though, that routine is, we're hearing a lot of that, like, stick to a routine. I know, yeah. Have a schedule for the day.

Yeah. Otherwise, you could just easily be a slob and just sleep in until, you know, 10 or 11, not make the bed, stay in your pyjamas. You can. Is there any... And it just adds to your anxiousness and just to feeling pretty muggy throughout the day. It's just horrible.

But making a daily list for me has been hard, but what I have done last week is made a weekly list and then I can choose on the day, like, what I want to tick off. And honestly, we were cleaning out the garage on day three, and you'd think that's a job for, like, day 74, but we're already in there on day three, so get it done. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of around-the-house chores done, eh, during this.

Definitely, lots of decluttering. Is there any end in sight to the French lockdown? So, actually actually we were only told when this first happened last Tuesday that it would be for 15 days which I know New Zealand's been told four weeks so we were told 15 days but

everyone's assuming it'll be another four weeks so we'll finish ideally on the same date as you guys so we're eight days in and then I think they will announce something soon. It will just keep rolling because, I mean, the death toll definitely hasn't stopped in France, unfortunately. Yeah.

That's the other thing. I think everybody's got this idea that it's going to be four weeks and then over, but it's four weeks, and then they re-evaluate the situation again. Yeah, so it could be. I don't want everybody in New Zealand counting down exactly to freedom on that day because that's when it's going to be re-evaluated.

Yeah, yeah. It's a minimum of four weeks. Honestly, there's nothing more to pre-stream than counting down. Don't count down. Is that a good thing to do? Don't count down.

That's a good rule. Don't count down. Just take it day by day. Okay. There goes my advice. Good advice. Well, Danielle, good luck for the rest of your isolation.

Thanks for talking to us. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Au revoir. Oh, my God. Au revoir. Au revoir. Au revoir. Ciao.

Ciao. Oh, no, that's Italian. Wait a minute. Buongiorno. Buongiorno. Oh. She doesn't know that one. Is that Italian? Buong giorni. Buon giorni. Oh. She doesn't know that one. So that is Hellion.

Buon giorni. No, it's have a good day. Buoni journey. Can you play it? Buoni journey. I messed up. I messed up. Can you play it?

Yes, you're right. Buon giorni. Buon giorni. Buon giorni. See, I was right. Buon giorni. Buon giorni. We're Buon Giorni.

We're Buon Giorni. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Great news for Wellington. Great news. It's not the tourists turning up wondering why there's no tickets on the Inter-Islander. Last minute. No, they were in Picton trying to get back to Wellington.

Oh, were they? Right, okay. Yeah, they turn up, no trying to get back to Wellington. Oh, were they? Right, okay. Yeah, they turn up, no ticket, and just demand a spot. Yeah. In the place of people who had purchased tickets. That was a weird one. No, this comes from the World Happiness Report. Okay.

It is a... How many pages is this document? Phenomenal amount of pages. Look at all this. What's it? Look at this PDF. Does it matter how many pages? Look at this PDF.

More pages than everyone's reading. You know, because this just sounds like some slapped together... Survey. Yeah. Minimal effort thing, doesn't it? Well, it's not. It's a big old report. And what I can tell you is that New Zealand came eighth in the happiest country.

Yes. And Wellington came third as the third happiest city in the world. So that's good. That is good because Wellington is a great city. Who beat Wellington? Cities? Yeah. Do you know?

No. As I said, it's a very long report. No, I do, now that I've scrolled down. Wellington is in at third. Aarhus in Denmark is in at number two. And Helsinki in Finland is number one. Now, here's the thing about Finland. The happiest country.

Yep. And it has the happiest city. Yeah, right. Okay. So the happy country is where we came eighth. We were beaten by Sweden, understandably. Yeah. It'd be hard just walking around with that many hot people

and not being happy because you'd normally where you'd normally be down you see a hot person you're instantly just like huh well you're always on your best behaviour

aren't you you're always on your A game the Netherlands and it's six okay again probably a bit of that but also the weed helps

yeah Norway and at number five for the happiest countries. Yep. Four, Iceland. Three, Switzerland. Two, Denmark.

One, Finland. So, I mean, an absolute, you'd almost say, an almost a clean sweep by the Nordic nations. Yeah. Except we've wedged ourselves in there. But yeah, quite often you get a lot of the South American countries coming up in the happiness list, say. Like, not this year. Really? No. Okay.

Bad showing from them this year. I think they finally were like, okay, we were lying. There was a lot of drugs, a lot of gun stuff. We just wanted to make it look better. That is our show today. Thank you for watching on the live stream and listening to us on the radio this morning. We'll be back again tomorrow

from six. Are we doing the live stream tomorrow? Everyone would like to know. Is this an everyday thing? Well, I mean, if it's sure. Yeah, pyjamas. Oh, pyjamas everyone tomorrow. I'm just saying we need pyjamas. Pyjamas tomorrow?

Yeah. Right, tomorrow. Because it's first day one. Now, here's the problem if we do a pyjama show. I sleep naked. Excuse me. I don't sleep naked Hey I can bring you a robe

Or something I've got a lacy robe I've got pyjama bottoms But no top Gross Right I've got pyjama bottoms But they've got bigger holes in them

Okay right I'm not talking about Where the legs go Correct Is Peter Alexander An essential service Is that open today No

No No Okay right You can pop to the warehouse before they have to shut. Before they shut, okay. Some Kmart jammies. Do you want to go via and just pick me up some? I'll just bring you in robes.

Pre-pay. I've got some robes you can wear. Robes? Yeah. Okay, why do you have so many robes? You're talking about robes. There's no shortage of robes. I don't know.

I've got like seven. You've got seven robes? Yeah. Why do you have seven robes? Would you steal them from... Two pink ones, a white one, a black one. Fletcher will have a pink one. I've got a pink fluffy one you can wear.

Yes. I've got a Peter Alexander printed one. Maybe you could wear that. Okay, yeah, bring in the robes. We'll do a show on robes. That'd be great. Wonderful. Okay, 90 minutes of non-stop jams next.

And just before we go don't forget if you need any information about the level 4 lockdown which is coming in at midnight tonight you can go to covid19.gov.nz