ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 26th 2020

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

Teddy Bears for Kids  Early Morning Essentials  What's the Corona Test like?  Fletch Sucks!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The podcast. Day one of lockdown. Yeah, I wanted to ask, is this day one? Because we need to be clear on our days. Officially day one of lockdown. Did you guys find it a little bit quieter this morning coming into work? It was very ey in the city. Like, normally there's a lot of people walking to work or there's, you know, service people, you know, dropping off stuff to stores. But not today. Drunk students.

None of them. Yeah. No, there was still cars on the motorway. Obviously, other essential services. But, yeah, the city's quiet. It's airy. Do you know, a lot of stores that just put like paper up on their windows and a lot of stores on Queen Street

have just pushed all their stuff back towards the back of the store to make it look like they'd emptied out? Airy scenes, like bizarre to see. And I had every red light coming down this road here. Well, I saw a rubbish truck driver and the only person I saw on the way to work today and he was just like,

eh, I'm going, I'm going. I'm not waiting for a green. We're in lockdown. Mo's yelling through, but are those red light cameras still working? He could just end up with thousands of dollars worth of driving fines at the end of this. I read yesterday a lot of councils around the country are stopping parking, giving out parking tickets.

Right. Because I guess no one's going to be in the cities anyway. Yeah, yeah. But if you live in are stopping parking, giving out parking tickets. Right. Because I guess no one's going to be in the cities anyway. Yeah, yeah. But if you live in the city, don't pay for parking in Auckland anyway. I know that. Right. Okay. We've got a pajama party kicking off at 7 o'clock this morning.

We're going to live stream the show again. Yeah. On Facebook. You can watch us Facebook Live. I was in seven. I was in seven. Because you sleep naked. Yeah.

Which my daughters found gross. That's what they said. Gross. Because they said, why did you get fletches? I said, well, he sleeps naked and that wouldn't be very good, would it, to wear to a pajama party? And they were like, oh, gross. Unbelievable. So I got you a onesie.

Okay. That's so pretty. It's a purple unicorn Brilliant It might be a little bit tight Whose is it? It's very small Oh yeah that will be tight But it'll fit

Thank you That's alright Oh that's lovely isn't it Sade wants that When you're finished with it So she just said If you could wear undies Absolutely

Preferable. Absolutely. So yeah, we're going to get in our jammies. Well, you can join us in your jammies on our Facebook live stream from 7 this morning. Fleshfawner Megan, the podcast. ZM. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

It's time for story time. I've been delving into the internet news odd story archives and have found three news headlines for three interesting stories. Vaughn and Megan pick one of the following three. Headline one, one pound apartment with a catch. Headline two, short run turns into eight hours. And headline three, weed-loving couple tie the knot. Short run turns into hours.

They get lost? Me doing a 5K run? Oh, at least go 10K. Eight hours? You could walk that in like a couple. Yeah, well, well, judge them. What one do you want? I think the run.

The run? You want the run? There's probably a story, good yarn there. Okay, we go now to Washington in America where a runner decided he would go out for just a quick run. He was like, just to go, a quick little training run, meant to be half an hour. Yeah.

It ended up being nearly eight hours of gruelling hell after this man injured his leg in the National Park in Washington. Now,

carrying a charged cell phone and displaying incredible grit and determination to self-rescue, what authorities are saying likely rescued him because he didn't give up.

It was very cold. He apparently hurt himself, but was unable to get... I think there was no reception. Oh, my God. So the cell phone was charged. I'm guessing maybe he was listening to his music, had some headphones in for running. Map my run or whatever.

Yeah, that too, sure. But was unable... So he had to crawl, and it took him eight hours to get help. Good Lord. So he was apparently in the national park. He was about 10 miles from the trailhead. What's a trailhead? Is that where you park your car?

Yeah, yeah. From the start. His cell phone did not have signal. He couldn't call for help. And so he just started crawling. Apparently made his knees raw. He said he put his shoes over them for a level of protection. So he ended up tying his shoes to his knees

because he was dragging his knees. Temperatures were below freezing and he was only wearing light running clothes. So it took him until 12.45 in the AM. What did he hurt? His ankle?

I think it's, maybe it must have just hit an ankle. My God. He called 111 and yeah. This is another reason my running is just not good for you. He did get a free helicopter ride though. Oh, fun.

Okay, so that's fun. Although I think you have to pay the, correct me if I'm wrong, you get picked up in a national park here because you hurt your leg and you get winched up on the rescue chopper. Are you paying for that, or does ACC pay for that? ACC? Right.

I don't know. If it was an accident? Never been picked up by a helicopter. Because you have to pay for an ambulance, right? If you have an accident, though, it's different. Right. You do have to pay for an ambulance, right? If you have an accident, though, it's different. Right. But you do have to pay for an ambulance. I know someone got stung with an ambulance fee

and they weren't expecting it. Yeah. I've had to pay for an ambulance before. Because St John's isn't a government branch of the government. Okay, this is on the New Zealand Police website. If I get lost and need search and rescue, will I have to pay? It says no rescued people are not expected to pay. We prefer to educate and alert people to the potential risks.

But then that's for the call out of search and rescue. That's not even mentioning a helicopter though, is it? No. We don't want people hiding us to avoid their costs. I think just best to avoid trying to hurt yourself as best you can. You're getting in that scenario. Yeah. Although if there's evidence of recklessness,

police may lay charges and seek costs. So if you got on the radio and said, I hurt my leg on purpose, just get a free helicopter ride. I was being reckless. Then that's, I guess, being reckless. They'll come for you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday I went for my walk around my neighbourhood to get some exercise.

I kept two metres distance from everyone. Actually, everyone was very good at that. Have you been noticing people go out of their way to avoid like... Yeah. But I thought it was going to be awkward, but everyone's like, ah, yeah, see ya. So it's kind of... Yeah.

Everyone's dogs are getting lots of walks. Yeah. They're loving it. But when I was walking around the neighborhood, and this had been brought up on our community notice board that people should start doing this, is putting teddy bears in windows. And on the prime minister's address yesterday,

she said that if you walked around her community, you might see one in her window. I saw that because the media asked her if they thought this was a good idea. But I guess kids have got to get through this like we all do. And you are allowed to exercise just in your own neighbourhood.

I mean, they did make the point, maybe don't drive to another, it's not trick or treat. No. Don't drive to a neighbourhood, to the rich neighbourhood because they have the better teddy bears and the better chocolate. That was the other thing about, that really came to light yesterday,

is that it's not drive to the beach for a drive on the beach or a walk down the beach, unless you live at the beach. Yeah, you might think, well, I'm in my car, I'm in isolation, but that is you travelling far. What do they call that? Commuting? Driving? Well, yeah, you're just not meant to do that. Not essential travel?

Yeah, it's not essential travel. Yeah, that's what they deem that as. Yeah. So if they pull you over and you're far from home, that's when you'll get a fine or worse. Yeah. So the idea is that you get a teddy bear. I actually said on my community notice page,

I don't think I have a teddy bear. And someone said, print out a picture and put it in the window. I was like, great idea. So, yeah, you put a teddy bear somewhere in the window of your house. And when children are walking around, actually, I found it quite fun too. You play spot the teddy bear. When children and some adults. It's really, it's like a treasure hunt.

So you're walking around because we're going to be walking around the same area. Do you think you should change it up? Will you like every day put it in a, could you hang it down from? I'm going to.

Yeah, like change it around. I don't know if everyone will. Kind of like elves, elf on a shelf. Yes. Like every day just move it around. Yeah, because what else

are we going to be doing? Keeps it different. Yeah. So when I was walking around the neighbourhood, so many people had done it. Really? And had multiple teddy bears.

Some people would put them in their car windows, parked in their driveway. So it was like a real, there's one. So it's like, it's quite fun. I think everyone should get involved. But yeah, keep it to your own neighbourhood. And is this why Vaughan has brought in some teddy bears today?

He's put me a Care Bear and a Jigglypuff. Can I, that Jigglypuff. Does a Jigglypuff. Can I have that? Does a Jigglypuff count? I think so. Jigglypuff's like a stuffed animal. Yeah. I think. And, you know, I was thinking,

there's not enough people who have Pokemon teddy bears, but like a Pokemon got to catch them all would be. Yeah. If everybody had Pokemon teddy bears in their windows, you could go around and see all the different Pokemon in your neighbourhood on your walk. Yeah. But, yeah, you can use it.

My favorite Pokemon too. Yeah, I know. I remember that. When I saw that, I was like, that'll do. Yeah. Do you want one for your window? You think people will be doing it in the city? Well, you can spot it in the apartment windows.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Sure. You'll put it up there for a couple of days and you'll be like, well, that looks stupid No, it'll just annoy me because I won't be able to, that too, but I won't be able to pull my blind down. It won't shut with the jigglypuff in the way.

Oh, true. The jigglypuff can go to sleep at night. Okay, I'll put it under the blankets on the couch. Yeah. Okay, I'm on board. Give me your flatmate for quarantine. A jigglypuff. Doesn't make a mess, doesn't talk too much.

It's actually perfect. Perfect flatmate, yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Here we are on day one of lockdown. Somehow marked. We all know how. An essential service. We can continue to work.

Don't get me wrong. I was looking forward to not working. You do have a sterling work ethic, Warren. Yes, that's dead right. But here we are. And I thought we could play a new game with other people because usually people are up this early for work. They're on their way to the gym.

Shut. Gone. No longer happening for a month. So I thought for the people that are awake at this ridiculous hour, we'd play a new game. Early morning essentials. You're really milking that we're essential. Yeah, well, if you have to get up early, might as well.

Might as well, yeah. And we spin a wheel. Okay. A random digitalizer. Yep. Sound effect of YouTube Yep A sound effect of YouTube A sound effect, okay And we see who we're going to talk to this morning If anyone calls

Yeah, because, right, okay So for example, someone who's in an essential service Like a police officer Yes, there's a list of essential services in this Yep Computer app that I made yesterday That randomized all the essential Services Services like a police officer. There's a list of essential services in this computer app that I made yesterday that randomised all the essential services and it will bring one up.

Won't they be busy? Megan has raised a good point. You raise a very good point because they're essential. Too busy to call us. Because, I mean, we're loose essential. Yeah. I've always thought we were a hard essential. We're semi-essential. Are we semi hard essential. We're semi-essential.

Are we semi? I think we're semi-essential. I like that. Semi-essential. Okay, yeah. Okay, so hold on. Here we go. Oh!

Farmers. Right, okay, so not working at the department store, because that's close. S-H-U-T. Shut. But if you're a farmer, because you're an essential service. You're an essential. You're a farmer.

You're listening to The Wireless. So you want to hear now from a farmer. From a farmer. Okay. And we'll talk to you about probably what you do every day regardless. Not a lot has changed on the farm. Early morning essentials. We spun the randomiser.

And today we spun up for early morning essentials. Farmers who continue to work. Essential. Yeah. Essential. Essential. To the economy. To food production. Yeah. Our milk on our cereal. Yeah. Essential. Essential. To the economy. To food production.

Yeah. Our milk on our cereal. Yeah. And mints. Milk and coffee. Mints. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, because we didn't just say dairy farmers. We said farmers of any. No, we just said farmers of any. Of any manner. What was that? You don't put milk in your mints? Would you do a creamy mints? You could do a creamy mints.

Or like a creamy meatballs. Creamy bowling maze. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be. A creamy bowling maze. Yeah. That'd be nice. That'd be... Yeah. So we wanted you to call through if you're part of the early morning essential farmer category. Good morning, Hannah.

Good morning. How are you guys? Great. And how are you doing on day one of lockdown? Oh, just another day, really? That is the most farmer saying. Yeah, just another day down on the farm. That's the thing, out of all the

services, that would be the one to be on lockdown because you're on the farm kind of locked down anyway in isolation, aren't you? Every day. Yeah. So it just means you can't nip into town or pop into the local store to get stuff willy nilly. You can still go, that's right,

like the farming supply stores, but you have to call ahead and make your order, right, and there's no human interaction. Yeah, nah, I think everyone bombarded the farm store space and whatnot because, well, when we went to get a few things, everyone was there. Right, that's how towns work. Yeah.

It's like a farm, but it's just houses. Well, Hannah, thank you for your service. What kind of farmer are you? Are you a dairy farmer? Yeah, I'm a dairy farmer. What, have you not turned on the machines yet, or have you finished milking? No, I'm just walking around the road trip.

Can you not hear it? No. Oh. That's a very good gate on your phone Road trip That's a bit flash Might have only ever Milked in herring bones

When this whole thing Blows over I'll come over I don't know what You're saying I don't know what You're saying Hannah thank you

For your service Good morning Sarah Hello Early morning farmer Oh hey How's it going? Good How's it going?

Whereabouts are you farming? Yeah Yeah Fresh morning Fresh morning So what You're down south I'm in Christchurch How's it going? Good. Whereabouts are you farming? Yeah, yeah. No, it's a fresh morning. Fresh morning. So what, you're down south? I'm in Christchurch.

Lovely. Okay, how are the cows this morning? I'm cupping up while I'm talking to you at the same time. What are you multitasking? You're cupping up. What are you milking, a rotary or a herringbone? We're in a rotary at the moment. Yeah, rotary, yeah. I don't know what that means, but it sounds good.

I'll explain it to you. Yeah, can you hear it? Not really. I'm not impressed with it. My dad's cow shit is about the noisiest place in the world when it's all humming and sucking and going. No, rotary is the way to go. Oh, is it what?

I'm in a rotary. Thanks for that rotary, Sarah. Carry on carrying on. And our buddy in the Taranaki, good morning. Good morning. What kind of cow shit are you in? I'm in the Rotary Park as well. Yeah, Rotary.

Everyone's got a bloody Rotary, don't they? I have no idea what that means. I think I'd have a Rotary. I'd have a Rotary, yeah, if I was a dairy farmer. I think I'd go hearing bones. I'm struggling enough imagining you being a farmer, let alone having a Rotary cow shit. Very rude of you.

Very rude. And how are you doing, buddy? You good? Yeah, great. Just another day in the life, as they say. Yeah, that's the thing, farmers. Good man.

Carry on. Will you keep on keeping on? Truck on there. Thank you for your service. Laura in Southland, good morning. Good morning. Another early morning essential. Yes.

What kind of cow shed are you milking in? I'm a rotary rat. Yeah. I have no idea what that means. Can you tell us? Explain it, Laura. Basically, a herringbone, which is the cow shit I grew up in. Yeah, they're two lanes that you... The cows go up and they stop and you put the cups on.

They don't mansplain it. No one's got it. She can do roadshed because I'll do herringbone because that's what I milked in. And they walk in and you stop. They stop and you put the cups on. They don't mansplain it. No one's got it. She can do rotary because I'll do herringbone because that's what I milked in. And they walk in and you stop, they stop and you put the cups on. When you're finished,

you let them out, you shut the gate and you put another row in. Right. And you alternate, you go left, right, left, right, left, right. Right. And what's your one?

How does your one work, Laura? Oh, it's an air one, just a circular platform that airs actually spins anti-clockwise. Oh, yeah. Some go clockwise. They do. Wait, why do you go anti-clockwise, Laura,

and all the other early morning farmers are going clockwise? Well, some of them are different. I think it depends where your shed's placed on your farm and which way your cows are going. It's a northern hemisphere design. Yeah. It spins the other way. Yeah, see, that's why I'd have a Yeah. Spins the other way. Yeah, see, that's why I'd have a rotary.

That other one sounds horrible. They get the cups on, and then by the time it's gone all the way around, they just hop off, don't they? And it's less moving. It's around about probably seven minutes to get around at the moment. And you just pump them out. Seven minutes. Boom, boom, boom.

I feel the pressure. You know to have a smoko break and just press pause on the thing that goes around? God, this bloody town is that in a water. You can if you need to top up your coffee or something along the way. There you go. I'm always looking for a break time, Laura. You need an espresso machine down in there and just get some milk straight from the cow into that little steel jug and... Away you go.

That's good. Laura, you keep on keeping on, Laura? Thank you for your service. No worry. Okay, early morning... Are we saying that's a success? Early morning essentials. I'm very pleased with how that went.

I liked it. My dad messaged me saying, this is a stupid idea. No one's going to be able to do both of those things at once. He says, while texting. And that would have taken him longer than it would have taken him to just call me and say that.

It's day one of isolation for New Zealand, but it is day 10 for isolation in Guatemala. And we are actually Skyping in with a Kiwi who is in Guatemala and she's going to give us some tips on how to get through this. Jane, hello. Hello. So what were you in Guatemala for when this all happened? Well, so I was kind of doing a bit of the old backpacker life and then I ended up volunteering for an organisation here, so I kind of just decided to stay on.

Wow. And did you want to come home or did you want to hunker down there in Guatemala? Well, to be honest, because the government took such extreme action to start with, I was like, to be honest, it feels like they've got a little bit of under control-ness happening. Whereas like the country next door in Mexico, super chill. The president was a bit loose unit and like telling everybody to still kiss each other on the face and all this kind of stuff. Oh my God. Wow. Wow. loose unit and like telling everybody to still kiss each other on the face and all this kind of stuff oh my god wow wow but to be honest i have a really cool group of friends here which is really

awesome so we're all sort of in it together which is quite nice now that we're in isolation and you've been in isolation for a while do you have any tips uh for those new zealanders that are that are about to be locked in their houses well i, I definitely think that, like, get up and start your day like a normal day is super important. Yep. Because, you know, like, you can treat it like a weekend and you can go, oh, yeah, sure,

next episode just rolling on on Netflix. Yeah. It's definitely not a great habit to be in. I've definitely been, like, cooking a bit and adding some stock to the freezer. It's been quite a nice, like, because you can spend the time that you maybe

go out for dinner you can do that like cooking a meal which is a nice i don't know what else you do you just write your list do your day yeah try not to uh read the news too much actually i think is a big one what about communication sorry what about communication with home do you have people back here that are worried about you constantly checking in on you yeah absolutely and i think it goes both ways because you're always making sure everyone's alright. You go, hey, how's life? And you do a Skype. I think avoiding

the news is a big one. I mean, you want to be informed, but you want to live by it. You don't want to go down a rabbit hole of what's happening overseas and how bad it is. And yeah, you want to have enough to be informed. And I guess you can do that on the COVID-19 website because it's not alarmist, it is just facts. It's what's currently happening.

But you're like you say, you do need to kind of step away from it, don't you? Absolutely. I feel like definitely the screen time is easy to just get trapped in the news. So I've sort of just been picking, actually New Zealand's COVID-19.gov has been really helpful. Just to look at that, see what's happening, not read too much other stuff, and then keeping in touch with friends and just the local news site here is good as well.

Yeah, nice. Awesome. Well, Jane, what do you say? Knuckle down? No, batten down. Hunker down. Hunker down. Hunker down.

Hunker down. Hunker down in Guatemala and look after yourself. Yeah, you guys too. Awesome. Thanks for the chat. Stay safe in isolation. Will do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. The top six ways to zhuzh up your birthday in isolation if you're born over the next 30 days. You might be having a different birthday. Yeah.

I don't want to say quieter. Different. Because people could make it loud for you. It will be different. So the top six ways to zhuzh up your birthday in isolation are number six, costumes and mirrors. Stay with me. Okay.

If you're by yourself, you put on a costume. Yeah. And you step in front of the mirror and you make a funny voice. You're like, oh, hello, one great to see you. Happy birthday, Shep. And then you step out and then you put on another costume. Yeah. And then when you step in front of the mirror, you're like,

oh, my goodness, a grand sea. I'll have a bath. Right. Why are they all British? Well, those are just my first two characters. Also, why are you going this crazy on day one of isolation? Well, no, I'm not saying today, but over the next 30 days. And obviously the further into isolation,

the easier it will be to come up with these characters. Or costumes for if you're living with your family. Get them to costume up and come and wish you a happy birthday as different people. That'll get the tally up. Yeah. They just keep doing a loop around the hall and it'll just be like so many people are at your party. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love this.

Number five on the list of the top six ways to zhuzh up your birthday in isolation. A Zoom meeting. Everyone's having a Zoom meeting. I had my first Zoom meeting yesterday. Now, Zoom, is that a Microsoft thing? Yes. Is it? Yes.

Because what do we use? Microsoft does work or something? Teams. Teams. Okay. But then I think it's the same vibe. Okay. But it's just like Skype.

Yeah, right. But lots of Windows. Yes. But you can have lots of windows on Skype too. But then this is the more professional program. Oh, right. A Zoom meeting where everyone sings you happy birthday and you have a cake, but you don't have to share.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, be like, do you want a piece of cake? And they're like, oh, no. They'd have to say no thank you. Because how are they going to get it? Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six ways to zhuzh up your birthday in isolation.

I actually saw someone do this. A friend of mine, Amy, did this yesterday because I think it's her birthday soon. She nominated another 2020 birthday. So she like picked a month that she's like, quite like that month. And then you'd probably have to go for a month later, much later in the year.

Yeah. It's going to be safe the last few months of the year. And you can always bump it again. Yeah. And then you draw a number out of the hat. Yeah. Probably going to be safe the last few months of the year. And you can always bump it again. Yeah. Yeah. And then you draw a number out of the hat. Yeah. Make sure if you're going to put the 31st in there that it's a month with the 31st.

So you don't want to be going for the 31st of September. Yeah. Because it doesn't exactly exist. It doesn't exist, eh? Yeah. 30 days has September. Yep. Yeah, I thought you went with that one because it's the first one in the rhyme.

The first one in the song. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to zhuzh up your birthday in isolation. Make it a birthday week. And if your birthday is towards the end of isolation, when all the days are like moulding into one, you might be able to get away with this. Just being the same.

It's my birthday today. Wasn't it your birthday yesterday? No, but that was just one day. You just had an eight-hour nap on the couch. It felt like eight hours, but it was only like three. Yeah. Happy birthday, me. Number two on the list of the top six ways to zhoosh up your birthday in isolation.

Have a night sleeping in another part of your house. I'm going to do this. Make it feel like a night away. I thought about that too. I was like, oh, my God, I might sleep in the spare room and pretend I'm on vacation. And I said we should pack our bags. And go to the spare room. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you never sleep there. Well, yeah. We could sleep on the, pretend it's a hotel and you're only getting room service. Yeah.

But who's going to bring it? I'll have to go make it. Yeah. Costumes. Again, costumes and mirrors. Costumes, yeah.

Room service? Not now. Hello. You've just missed my, you've just missed my husband. Oh, really? And then do it with the person bringing your room service. That's your partner, but just in disguise. With a tray with toast on it.

And number one on the list of the top six ways to zhuzh up your birthday in isolation, Google celebrities wishing people happy birthday. If you've got a common name, you might even be able to Google your name. Good call, good call. Then get the video queued up. Pretend to be accepting a Skype call. And I don't know why in my head it's Camilla Cabello. Yeah, okay.

I mean, it's pretty obvious probably why it's Camilla Cabello. But she's like, happy birthday, Vaughn. I'm like, oh, my God, thanks, Camilla, but I can't talk. I've got to go. Boop. And then you hang up. You just hung up on a celebrity on your birthday. No one hangs up on celebrities.

Nice. And you just did it. Happy birthday to you. That is today's Top 6. All right, next on the show, we're going to go live on Facebook Live, FVMZM. It's our PJ party. Get your PJs on. Get your PJs on. Join us from bed

or wherever you are in isolation unless you're of course working as essential service. Thank you for your service. Yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan the podcast ZM. We are now in level four. Essential services only and perhaps in this situation

no more of an essential service than our health workers. Yeah. That's nurses, that's doctors, that's paramedics. And a paramedic has actually told the story about how he was given a two-day eviction notice from his flatmates because they don't want to be in isolation with someone who still has to work and will thus be, you know, exposed to medical things at this time. That's horrible. There's no even guarantee that person, the paramedic,

is even going to come in contact with anybody. Well, and to be honest, they're more protected than you have been in your flat for the last few weeks walking around, going to the gym, touching equipment. Yes. Being in close proximity with people without protective gear. Yeah. I mean, it's tough because I see people, you know, touching equipment, being in close proximity with people without protective gear. I mean, it's tough because I see people are seeing these stories from overseas of doctors and nurses that are falling ill.

It's a tough one. And it's tough, but we need these people to be fighting for us. And then I said off-air, would the hotels that are experiencing no business? Fletch was just playing quite erotically. Just with my giggle there during a serious moment. Fletch was... His detachable tail from his onesie,

Fletch was stroking it quite erotically. It's quite fluffy. I need to put that over there. Yeah, that was Freudian. That was really something on the Kinsey scale. But I thought about, you know, the hotels that aren't. And there's a lot of hotels by hospitals. Yeah.

Could they not offer the rooms? But then you raise a very good point. That's pretty much the cruise ship situation. And that's what the media asked Jacinda yesterday, is why isn't everybody that's coming into the country put in a hotel near the airport? And some will be, but then, you know, she raised the point, well, that's basically a cruise ship.

Yeah. A lot of rooms in close proximity. Yeah. So if people can land and be picked up by their family and go into isolation, their family might be sick if they're mingling, but at least that's where it'll stop. It's not going to infect a hotel of 200 people. It might affect two or three people. Yeah, because if you're in a hotel,

you can't eat in your room, can you? You'd have to go to a communal area and that's where these sorts of things get spread around. So it's tough. I don't have an answer, but this is also the word that we've heard 10,000 times in the last month, but never before, unprecedented. I mean, I've heard it before, but not used in this way.

But it is unprecedented. It's rough. These people that are kicking out paramedics and nurses and doctors from their flats. Yeah. They'll be the first one on the phone if they're sick asking to be picked up by a paramedic. Yes.

And treated by a nurse and a doctor. So let's just give people a break. Yeah. And the government, you said, I'm not sure on the details, but I believe rent hikes have been stopped. Landlords aren't allowed to hike your rent and you're not allowed to be evicted. No, there's a... At the moment, is that

true? Yeah, well there was, I just saw a story that somebody directly tweeted Andrew Little, aka Daddy Thick Snack, who's looking good at the moment. Yeah, well he always is. He's a.k.a. Daddy Thick Snack, who's looking good at the moment. Yeah, well, he always is. He's a thick snack.

He doesn't need that. What's that? You just leave him alone. I think we all need a compliment. Yeah, but he's not a piece of meat. He is. Daddy Thick Snack. Daddy's a big, thick, T-bone steak.

A dry-aged... Do you need the onesie tail to play with? I know. That's how I feel. They dealt with it. There's been a law passed. You're not allowed to evict somebody for falling into arrears at this stage. This is what that big budgetary announcement made.

Yeah. Dealt with. If people are struggling, you've got to deal with it early. Yeah. Get in there. All right. It is 17 past seven. Next, we're going to talk to someone who has been tested for COVID-19.

She's going to tell us what that test actually involves. All right. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. We have someone on the phone right now, actually a friend of ours, and she's going to talk to us about actually having the COVID-19 test done. Good morning, Lucy. Hello.

How is everyone? Lucy, would you consider Fletcher and Megan friends? I mean, you and I were friends, but I don't know if you consider these two friends. I don't know. It's a bit far-fetched. Yeah. Bit of a stretch. Bit of a stretch.

Now, Lucy, you worked with us here at ZM for many years, and then you decided, oh, I'm going to go on my OE to Whistler in Canada. I did. I did. And were you meant to come home just a couple of weeks ago or were you just like, I'm getting out of here

because Whistler's in Canada's going crazy? I actually was. I was coming home for a job and I was back on the 15th, which was a day before everything really kicked off, really. Wow. And so being that you came back, were you pre-isolation period or post-isolation period? I got put into the travel-enforced isolation the day after I got home.

Right. That's good, though. And you did that, right? From what I could see on socials, you isolated yourself. Yeah. On day 11. Played the game. Oh, right.

Okay. But then your day 11 is everybody else's day one. Yes. Yeahed the game. Oh, right. Okay. Then your day 11 is everybody else's day one. Yes. Yeah, sure is. And so what can people expect because you've done it for 11 days? Yeah, and I've been completely alone for it. I mean, it's lonely. You have good days and bad days for sure.

What would your biggest tip be? You've got to stay busy. You've got to get fresh air and not watch too much Netflix. So what do you mean get busy, though? Like, what have you been doing? Well, I've been painting and baking, and none of these things are going very well. Like artistic painting?

Or like painting a fence? No, no, artistic painting. Oh, shit, girl. Are you good at that? I've seen some of your work. No, I'm not good at all. Well, you can only get better. Oh, shit, girl. Are you good at that? What else is some of your work? No, I'm not good at all. Well, you can only get better. Yeah, that's true.

So you actually had the coronavirus test? I did two days ago, so I'm waiting on those results. Okay. And how do you feel? Do you feel symptomatic or? I came home with cold symptoms, which seemed to coincide with the COVID-19 symptoms. Right, okay.

But you've been in isolation since, so no worries about community transmissions there. But explain to us, how does the test go? It's pretty invasive. So it's a swab, a pretty large swab, at both nostrils. Oh, goodness. Yeah, I did not expect that. Do they go both nostrils at the same time, or do you have to go through one,

and then you know what to expect with the second? Exactly that. Oh, okay. So they don't double nostril? No. Okay. No, yeah. Yeah, it's a little bit sore,

but if that's what needs to be done, then it's what needs to be done. Exactly. We can't be scared of getting this test, because, I mean, having a slightly sore nostril for a couple of seconds is not as bad as maybe dying or... Or spreading it to someone who will end up dying.

And that's been happening around the world. So that's not a maybe. That's a totally could happen. So it goes up and it's not a standard swab from what I've heard. Is there a little bit of a flexibility in it? There's a bit of flexibility in it. Yeah, it's like a really, really long earbud. And then he moved it around quite a bit, which was an odd feeling, but not so bad.

And then the second nostril. Do any boogers come out? Because that would be embarrassing. Well, I hope not. Do they use the booger to... They probably do, but I'd recently blown my nose on the way to the clinic. That's a good idea. So I was quite happy about that.

Yeah, right. That's a good idea. So how long do you have to wait before you get your results? I'm hoping 48 hours, but now because they're so busy, not sure. Yeah, because testing is definitely ramped up, which is a good thing. Do they call you or like text? Yeah. Okay, they call is definitely ramped up, which is a good thing. Do they call you or, like, do they text you? Okay, they call you. I believe they call you, the clinic that you got tested at.

Right. And do you know, if you get called and they say you've tested positive, what's the next step there? Do you just wait it out at home? Because, obviously, there's no point going to a hospital unless you actually need, because you might have very mild. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I believe you waited out at home, and for someone like me,

who's already so far through the isolation, if I do have it, I should be fairly close to the end of it. Right. Okay, well, thanks for this informative chat about it all. And fingers crossed it's a negative. Well, I think you do. I was going to say, if if it's negative you've only got three more days of isolation

but then you have to join the rest of us anyway yeah I know you'll be a pro it's going to be a long that'll be nearly six weeks Lucy

one final thing you were known in the office for your flatulence how's that going in isolation because you don't have to

hold back do you well you don't have to hold back, do you? Well, you don't, but at the same time, like, open a window and it's done. It could be a very stinky house after 30 days. No, no, I don't want to open a window. That would let burglars in. I'm all alone. All right, well, enjoy marinating in your own farts then.

Keep the burglars out. Thank you. All right, thanks, Lucy. Yeah, take care of yourself. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, a big name has the Rona. I like, I kind of like Rona. Calling it Rona.

As in, yeah, you've got the Rona. You've got Rona. Yeah. We need to all be concerned for Prince Charles because he has tested positive. Chuck. I don't know if we call him Chuck. No one calls him Chuck.

Charles, Charlie. Pretty Chuck. Well, I'd like to see him come and get me. I'm in isolation. So apparently he saw the Queen 13 days ago. So he got it from the Prince of Monaco, is that correct? Yes, he did. The Prince of Monaco's got it as well. Yeah, he's got it. So he came out, it was a few days ago. So he got it from the Prince of Monaco, is that correct? Yes, he did. The Prince of Monaco's

got it as well. Yeah, he's got it. So he came out, it was a few days ago it was announced that he had it. And then there are, the British tabloids have put together photos of everyone that Charles and he did, he was doing some bows as greetings. So he wasn't touching people, but they've

pretty much put a compilation of everyone he was around. And he was around the Queen. Yeah, so it said that the most conservative estimate was that he was contagious from the 13th to the 24th. That's two days ago. And he briefly met with the Queen during that time. Right. So the Queen is now in isolation. And she's old.

You know who's older? She's 93. Prince Philip. Yes. His father. Prince Charles' father. No word on whether he greeted Prince Philip. But apparently Camilla was tested and she doesn't have it.

Right. Now, will she be the Queen? How does this go? No. My mum knows. If I've ever got a question on how this all works, I ask my mum. Ask your mum. Everyone calls Kate the queen.

Like, would she be queen? She will be the queen. Right. Why do they have a king and queen, but they have a queen and not a king? Because she was the queen. Oh, man. You guys have watched The Crown. You bloody tell me.

You know I've only watched half an episode. I'm going to watch Charles next, and then it won't go William. Yeah, but what Megan is saying is why is it Prince Philip, not King Philip? Oh, yeah. Because she's the boss doll here. Because he's racist. He came in later. No, I'm pretty sure racism is still fine in the monarchy.

Oh, so is it when you're married beforehand, you go in as a couple? King and queen, yes. But because this is Charles' second marriage. Don't discriminate against it, we'll save. No, but what if I have a joker? No, they have, famously, a long time. What if you've got a joker? You should never have been playing with that card in the first place.

I said at the start of the game. You said at the start, we could play. I said take the jokers out. I did not say jokers. You said we could put them in. I said take them out. Next thing, you'll be playing the instructions card. Everyone knows the instruction card is pick up the whole pack.

I was playing. We weren't playing poker once, but we were playing some really simple card game. Yeah. With a deck of cards. And it honestly was like last card or that presidents and a-holes or whatever it is. And someone was like, what does this one mean? And chucked down the instructions card. No, you can't do that.

I love that they held on to it though, being like, well, I'm desperate. I'll see what it does. Magic, magic card. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts, the front, is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damian Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to The Front Page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts.

So this is day one of isolation. Where you stayed last night is where you need to stay. It's the COVID lockdown. Oh my God, did you just literally... Just literally popped into my head. Am I dead? The look on your face, you were like... I've done it.

You've made a parody. A non-offensive parody. It's the Radio Holy Grail. He stumbled across a parody. On day one, what will he do tomorrow? Someone just asked on the live stream how we're going. I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory. I mean, we're dressed as Winnie the Pooh and a unicorn and what about, I got an instrumental

version. Oh, okay. Yep. Oh, no, that's the live stream. That's my own vanity there. I'm watching. I was just making sure the sound was working and that the angles were flattering. Okay, ready when you are.

I'll just fast forward. Yes! That's a bit of this, eh? Yeah. No, I don't know. You need to go... This is just the intro. You need to go... This is just the intro. You need to go to the middle.

I know. We're living together. Oh, my gosh. It's weird how you think you know a song. We do this way too often. It's weird how you think you know a song, and then you hear it, and you're like, I don't know it as well as this.

Well, I think people that normally do parodies, like, do them before they go on air. Losers. Losers. Are you going to do it? We've waited this long. Are you going to get to the middle bit? Skip through.

Buddy, I have skipped through. We've missed it like three times. Have you searched an instrumental? Yes. Here we go. Here we go. It's the COVID lockdown. It needs to be quicker. It needs to COVID lockdown. It needs to be quicker.

It needs to be quicker. It needs to be quicker. Go again for the timing. Go again for the timing. It's the COVID lockdown. What? It's too fast. Too fast.

Hey, look, we'll work on the timing later. I'm glad we went through all of that. Absolutely glad. Sometimes you've got to go through the process. Yeah. But people are going to see the process, you know? Yeah, they do. But they appreciate it a bit more if they see the process. Oh, they do, yeah. Absolutely glad. Sometimes you've got to go through the process. Yeah. But people are going to see the process, you know? Yeah, they do, yeah. But they appreciate it a bit more if they see the process.

Oh, they do, yeah. Certainly do. Had to look at our planning sheet to go back to what we were actually talking about. So it's day one of quarantine. And where you stayed last night is where you need to stay for the remainder. Yeah. You may have discovered already that the person you are locked down with is maybe not going to be the best option.

Or have to work with as an essential service in close proximity. But two metres apart, Vaughn. Yeah. Vaughn's just making random noises. Yeah. What? My flatmate's just, my best friend's just making random noises. Yeah. What? My flatmate's just,

my best friend's just got a new flatmate. So they don't know her. They don't really know each other that well yet, but it's going to happen. But does she have a good, like, I mean, she wouldn't have, yeah, she wouldn't have picked you to live with,

but then you don't know, people can be nice in a flatting interview, can't they? You're like, this is a great person. Now, I'm clean and tidy. Yeah. Like that flat, we had that time. Super nice guy, but he didn't tell us he had a criminal record. And you'd think that would be a vital aspect.

To be honest, I didn't ask. But to be honest, he did pay all of his rent, didn't he? He did. Yeah. And $20 bills all rolled up. Executive intern Anya, your friend's been in this predicament. Yeah, so she wasn't sure if she should stay in the flat with five other

people or head up to mum and dad's, which is about an hour away, and make use of the paddle boards and mum's cooking. So she's chosen the flat. So, but the parents wasn't the fact that it's just the fact that it's your parents.

And, like, it can be testing to move back in with them. Because it doesn't matter how old you get, parents still tell you to clean up and stuff. And it's just like, excuse me, mum. I reckon I could normally clean up. Same. I totally live there. Mum's cooking. Because I thought about it. I said to you, I know you and your dad have differing opinions on things

but it's the same with me and my mum. I love my mum so much but hell I love arguing with her. I know but what we need right now sometimes is a good spirited debate. Keeps us alive. Yeah but it's a fine line between a spirited debate and being in isolation with someone for what could be weeks and weeks. Yeah

totally. And getting on each other's nerves. You know Mel Bracewell, the comedian? Yeah. She put, I saw she put on Instagram yesterday, her brother just got into a pretty new relationship and had to choose whether or not to not see this new girlfriend for 30 days or to see nothing but her for 30 days.

Chose to see her for 30 days. Oh, that's make or break. Yeah, I know. Because that's what they say about travelling, right? If you backpack around Europe, well, obviously not at the moment, not's make or break. Yeah, I know. Because that's what they say about travelling, right? If you backpack around Europe, well, obviously not at the moment, not the time. But if you do, you live in a van, it's a real make or break

or a lot of people don't come back from there. Yeah. But that's the thing, a lot of friends, even just flat friendships and friendships will be tested over this time. But we were wondering this morning, is anybody listening now that has an unusual quarantine situation or a testing, what they think could be a testing time ahead,

like maybe you have moved back in with the parents or the flatmates don't get on or talk to each other or... There are some good text messages coming in already. Yes. Okay, well, let's get to those next. 0800 DALES.M, you can give us a call. We'd love to hear from you this morning. Let's get some people on air.

Let's hear from you this morning. Let's get some people on air. Let's hear from you this morning. Let's check in with you, see how you're doing. We want to know about your unusual quarantine. That's a nice way of putting it. If you're in a team that maybe isn't family. That's us. I mean, your family can be a quarantine as well. Yeah, we're in quarantine.

There is questions on lockdown, how we're broadcasting. Broadcasting has been listed as an essential service because information needs to be put out there at this time. Yeah. We've been listed as in each other's bubble. Yep. We have a distance between ourselves. We are highly disinfecting everything.

We have to clean the studio both before and after use. Our producers are like three metres apart, another one in a whole separate room. There's actually no one else at work, to be honest. No. On this level, we are just the only people here. There's a security person. To stop us running riot here.

Well, I think that's to stop us selling stationery, to be fair. Well, he's not doing a very good job. I've already got four A4 rims in my bag. Have we checked if that fridge out there is, is that still locked? So they were taking the wine, you're talking about the Friday drinks fridge. They took the wine.

They were taking the wine out of it. I lingered and they said, do you want that bottle of orange juice? I was like, yes, orange juice is what I want. Come on. So yeah, we have been deemed an essential service. We're live streaming on our Facebook FBMZM. A lot of people asking that. That's as surprising to us as it is to you.

It is. And here we are. Apparently the nation needs some phone-in topics on certain things like this. Someone working on another radio station's breakfast show has joined the live stream. Oh, good morning. Hello, Steph. Good morning. You probably should be doing other things, but it's a pleasure to have you here.

You are such a cheeky bitch. I am a cheeky little bitch. No one's here to tell me not to. Now, what's your unusual quarantine situation? Is this me not to. Now, what's your unusual quarantine situation? Is this me? Yeah. Morning, guys.

Happy first day of quarantine. Happy first day of quarantine. Happy first day of quarantine. How are you doing so far? We're okay at the moment. Okay. I'm in a situation, I mean, everything got absolutely turned on its head for me and everything got stuffed up.

So I ended up having to live with my very traditional Indian grandma. Oh, wow. And how's that going so far, just a day in? I mean, yeah, it's been a bit testing. Like, I'm pretty sure she doesn't really like me in general. And so kind of, you know, I walk out the door into the lounge and straight away it's just I'm hit with some insults or, like, complaints about me being here.

Insults? But whose house is it? It's hers. But then you're her grandchild. What, does she want you to be roaming the streets? Like, that's crazy. Trust me, Vaughan, I mean, last week I was called the worst grandchild in the world.

Hey, I tell you what, the tables will turn if she gets it. Jeffrey Dahmer had a grandma too. I mean, I'd hit her with a long list of disappointing grandchildren. Wow, okay. So what are you going to do? Just get through it. Just ignore it. I mean, yeah, I'm kind of just like isolating in my bedroom really

and just sort of coming out for essential. I mean, my, I'm kind of just like isolating in my bedroom really, like, and just sort of coming out for essentials. I mean, my mum hits me up saying like, why aren't you out there in the lounge talking to your grandma? And I just say like, I don't want to put up with that, you know? I want to kind of avoid it. How far through do you

think you're going to get before you call her a bitch? I mean, it's already kind of getting there. I've got to hold my tongue a wee bit. So we might not see the end of day one. Okay. Yeah. I know this might be a bit insensitive in these times, but could you just do a cough in the lounge

just to get her to back off? Just cough in the lounge. Well, she also kind of doesn't believe that this is really happening. She's just laughing about the whole situation. I saw some people talking about their grandparents yesterday. They went trying to go out for coffee and hang around, and they're just not getting it.

How old is your grandma? She is 83. She's, like, the demographic that this is particularly unforgiving toward. I know. And then I'm also freaking out because we have shared caregivers. And, like, so we have, like, four to five different people coming in every day, you know, through the house. Oh, God. Okay.

Well, you be safe, please. Yeah. Thanks. You too, guys. Aisha, right. Thanks for your call. Let's go to Susan. Susan, what's your unusual quarantine situation that's going to test you?

So my partner and I were looking to buy a house. so in the meantime we decided to move in with my dad about a week ago, two weeks ago sorry. And now we're not going to be able to buy a house. And so my dad already lived with my brother and his girlfriend and two elderly flatmates. So there are now seven of us in a little house stuck together. But the good side is that we just got a puppy on the weekend. I think so many people did, right? I know, because didn't everybody rescue pretty much everything the SPCA had? Yeah.

Like... Which is good. Yeah. Pretty much. Okay, well... What's the puppy's name? Archie. Archie, cute. All right, cute Alright well Susan you look after yourself

Good luck with that situation Some text messages coming in Somebody said I need to work from home but my partner doesn't We live in a studio apartment and he's very needy Right Very needy I like that because my wife works from home too

This was pre-quarantine But I like it What are you doing? She's like, Vaughn, I need some quiet I was like, well if it's quiet you want, it's quiet you'll get Do you know where I put my clarinet? When did you buy a clarinet, Vaughn? I'd be like, maybe I bought it yesterday online

And it's here already In home Kenny G He plays the saxophone We established he can play anything with a reed and it's here already. In Home Kenny G. He plays the saxophone. We established he can play anything with a reed. He can play anything with a reed. He's a woodwind guy. Somebody, some other quarantine situations. I'm now in mother-in-law training as both my sons have their girlfriends in my house.

Bringing the total to seven people doesn't sound like a lot, but we have one bathroom. Oh. I hope they know those girlfriends well. You know, my parents, whenever the parents are like, okay with sleepovers as teenagers, like with boyfriends, girlfriends, I'm not going to be either.

There is no way. If one of my daughters was a teenager and they're like, can my boyfriend live with us For the lockdown I'd be like No Absolutely not Oh August will just break out

And go to her boyfriend's house She'll be She'll have one of those dog collars on That when they cross an invisible fence It just drops them She'll be like I'm making a Flesh fauna Megan

The podcast ZM If you see a shady guy With a Dyson in tow Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. If you see a shady guy with a Dyson in tow, well, it must be time for Fletch Sucks. Fletch Sucks, baby. I don't know why I sing that, but sure. I tell you what, this is just what a nation in lockdown needs.

Now, it's an easy, well, I used to say it's an easy competition, but it's been four weeks now without a winner. Has it? Fletch sucks. I have a cheap Kmart vacuum cleaner in studio. You've got to guess what part of my body I'm sucking. I'll wait $800 at M right now if you would like to play $100 for the winner. We had to put it into jackpotting because obviously it's, you know, it's a new world.

Yeah. New world. Time's tough. We might have to play with office furniture if this carries on. Yeah. Where are you actually, how are you going to go? Are you going to go under the desk?

So what I'm here, I'm going to have to go under the desk. So give us a call. 0800. Let me fire up the vacuum. Now, I... Yeah? A man dressed as your dress who's taking a vacuum cleaner under a desk.

Usually that would be a reason for concern. But as you said, we're living in a new world. It's a new world. It is our pyjama party today. And you can see this on the stream. Fletch is a purple unicorn. I'm a unicorn. Exactly.

Now, I'm going to have to pop under the desk because we are live streaming, so I don't want to be caught, although I think the shot's on you, Megan. I'm going to go down a little bit more because now it just looks like a unicorn's behind you. No, see how you can't do a wide because you can see that. Yeah, you can't do Vaughn because you can see in the reflection. Why don't you can't see? You have to go to me. No, you're not going to be able to see him in the reflection.

They're under the desk a bit more. Just put the camera on me. Oh, because you've got to have the microphone. I've got to have the not going to be able to see them in the reflection. They're under the desk a bit more. Just put the camera on me. Oh, because you've got to have the microphone. I've got to have the microphone down. Okay, so I'm under the desk. I'd be surprised if anyone can see it. Okay, everyone listen. You've got to guess what part I'm sucking.

Okay, duck down and do it now. Okay, we'll commentate. Fletch is doing it. Fletch is... ...doing it now. I totally forgot that that's what it was. I'll do it one more time. It's quite hard to get it round.

It's quite hard to get it round. That's good. Let's hit some callers. She can't get enough of me at home, so she's calling the radio station as well. Sade, good morning. Good morning. Not my one.

Not your one. Not my one. Sade, what part of my body was I sucking? Is it under the palm of the foot? Like, under the foot? Under the foot. The palm of the foot. What is it? The sole.

Oh, yes, the sole. The sole of the foot. The under part of the foot. Yeah. Hell no! Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy there, champ. Thanks, Sade.

Thanks for playing. Tina, what part of my body was I sucking? Are you sucking your toe? Oh, he does have long toes, but... No! Tina, sorry, Tina. Oh,! No, Tina. Sorry, Tina. Oh, next time, guys. Stay safe.

Happy isolation. Stay safe to you too, Tina. Tina? Tina. Hi. Stay safe. Stay safe. See ya.

Bye. See ya, bye. Bye. Tina. Oh, God, I miss Tina. Sarah, what part of my body was I sucking? The ankle. Ooh.

Hell no! Oh! It's not, Sarah. Thanks for playing. Wilson, good morning. Good morning, Fletch, Paul and Megan. Oh, good morning to you, Wilson. Good morning, Wilson.

We have our Wilson Tom Hanks volleyball on the desk in the show. Wilson, what part of the... I've never had that joke before. Oh, sorry. Oh, no, it wasn't a joke. I was just saying that. It's an actual fact. Okay, if you want some other fresh Wilson material, what about Heidi Honeber on home improvement, Tim the Tourman

Tavis? Oh, you mean the one where you only see, like, the eyes? Okay, you've heard that one. What else have I got? What else do you normally hear, Wilson? Something about tennis balls? I get the Wilson call. Oh, okay, yep. Yeah.

Are they the car parking a-holes? Yeah, they are. Arnie's had a ticket from them too, hasn't she? I read yesterday a nurse got a ticket from them. That's right. They are still charging nurses. Really? Yes. Have a word to them too, hasn't she? I already said a nurse got a ticket from them. That's right. They are still charging nurses. Really? Yes.

Have a word to your people, Wilson. That's not me. That's not me. Not you, Wilson. Okay, Wilson, what part of the body am I sucking, Wilson?

Are you sucking your back? Oh, my back. You'd like that, wouldn't you, Wilson? What the hell? No! Born! Wilson, it's not.

I'm sorry. There's no evidence that Wilson would have been into that. No, you can hear it in the tone of your voice. Darren, good morning. Hey, guys. What do you think? What do you think? Good, mate.

Is it your calf muscle? Oh. Oh, I've run out. What? That's not the thing. What did you start playing a song for? No, I ran out of the things. Oh, you ran out for it? I run out of the things. Sorry, it's not, it's not. Sorry, Gazza. Look after yourself, Darren. Are we going to keep going?

Jenny. Hi, is it your Becky and me? Beck and my knee. Hell no! Nah. Probably the worst part to get sunburn on the body, I reckon, Jenny. Yeah, you're not wrong. Yeah, you're with me there.

Thanks, Jenny. Stay safe. Safe. You too. Good to hear from everybody this morning. Great to hear from Jenny this morning. Hayden, what do you think? G'day.

It's naughty Hayden here from last week. Naughty Hayden. Naughty Hayden. Yeah. We'll be back with another perverted guess. Hayden, what part of the body am I sucking with the vacuum cleaner? Is it the back of the thigh? Oh, you naughty boy.

Well, I was going to say bum. I thought that might have been a bit far. No. No bum sucking on the show, Hayden. This is a general rule of the day. That's our jazz. And that's been a rule well That's our jazzer. And that's been a rule well before these

that are playing this game. Naughty, naughty. Nicole, what do you think? I think it's your elbow. My elbow. The weenus. Not happening. Yeah, no.

Not the weenus. I did think about doing the weenus one week just so we could say weenus loss. Yeah, well, it's fun regardless of what age you are. Should we do one more?

Yes. Let's do one more. Jason, what part of the body do you think I'm sucking? Is it the back of your head? The back of my head. Oh. Hell no! Looks like we're back again next week.

Yeah, we are. It'll be week five. Thanks, Jason. Stay safe. Week five next week for that cash. Fletch sucks. Nobody's even close, are they? No one has been even

close today. These have been all podcasted haven't they? Yeah they have. So if you want to, for the last... Okay here's a job for someone in isolation. Go through the last 4 weeks of podcasts for this segment and write down all the answers because I can't be bothered doing it. Oh I'm not doing it. I'm definitely not doing it.

It's too hard. I've got so much to do. Like what? Well, nothing. Actually, no, I didn't expect to be, you know, ask too many questions on that. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A lot of people have been asking me specifically,

and I do feel targeted, what sort of online shopping I'm going to be doing during this lockdown. And you heard from a courier yesterday, didn't you? Yeah. So someone slid into the DMs and said that can we, if we're receiving packages from couriers, can we give them a beat to set it down

and then get their distance again? Don't try and go and receive it from the couriers. When couriers need a beat, they go... And they run. Yeah. Knock, knock. I'll be there in a minute. You get there and there's a calling card and you're like, oh, I'm only joking around couriers. You're essential services. You are. And

they stopped doing the signature thing a while ago, didn't they? Yes. A lot of the couriers. So, just yeah, don't go right up into their space. You can give them a wave from behind the door or the window or something, but let them sit it down and then get their distance and then go and get the package. Now, a lot of talk about what is essential online shopping.

So the government has come out and said. So I didn't even know. When did they say that it wasn't all essential? Well, you don't need to be buying like clothes and stuff from ASOS. I know, but they're going to be working, the courier peeps are going to be working anyway.

Yes, but they don't want... Your purchase has to start and be packaged somewhere in a big warehouse with lots of people in close proximity, coughing and touching everything. I don't think about that.

I just think about the package at the end. So the essential things that you will be able to buy online, like your online food shopping, a lot of places doing that, food boxes, a lot of those services aren't. That surprised me. Some are. I didn't think so. I thought last, and I could be wrong. I am willing to stand corrected.

But I thought last night I heard that my food bag wasn't. No, I saw that my food bag couldn't take any more orders. Oh. Because I thought that, it's that, they'll be really coming into their own. What have you got there? Okay, I've gone to my food bag. If you have a current or future delivery scheduled with my food bag, bargain box, fresh start and made, we'll be delivering it to you.

We will be. Please check your account areas for details. We cannot currently accept any new deliveries. Right. We're working as quickly as possible to increase our further capacity. They're maxed out. Oh, so they're maxed out? Yeah.

Oh, I thought they'd been told they couldn't. There are other ones, like your HelloFresh and stuff, so just check with those. Some supermarkets did stop online ordering, though, didn't they? Because it was getting too much. But, I mean, again, check with your local supermarket online to see if that's an option. But then there were other supermarkets that got overwhelmed

and were only doing online orders. Yeah, so just check with... It just really depends. So somebody thought the rule they heard was unprepared food delivery, okay, no cooked food deliveries. Yeah, so no, like, online Uber Eats and stuff like that because they don't want people in kitchens being sick making your food. So go to the supermarket and if you have to, get some, I don't know,

freezer meals, some frozen meals or something. You know, if you're not good at cooking. Yeah. What do you do with those little TV meals? Yeah, just heat some baked beans or something. Like it's not at cooking. Yeah. Or just eat some baked beans or something. It's not that hard. Yeah. Somebody said, what about the warehouse?

No, because that still required people to be working, didn't it? Yeah, and that's why. And the distribution centres. And that's why we're in lockdown. It wasn't deemed essential. So, yeah, only essential services allowed out. A lot of questions about the fitness as well at the Prime Minister's Q&A yesterday at the press conference.

She actually took to Facebook Live last night to answer a bunch of questions. Now, you can still see that. Yes. The whole thing. Is that on her local Facebook page? Her Facebook page. We did grab a couple of questions from that Q&A.

Someone asked whether or not you can go for a walk on walking tracks. You can walk. Just stay solo. Bridget's asked, are we you can go for a walk on walking tracks. You can walk. Just stay solo. Bridget's asked, are we allowed to travel in a car with people you're self-isolating with? Yes, as long as it's the people that you are self-isolating with, the people who are in your bubble. Someone has asked, can we drive to a walking track or drive to a dog park?

Look, people will take trips in their car, you know, supermarket, doctors and so on. We just always, Sydney, ask you to remember, reduce down the risk as much as possible. You know, if people are all driving around the place, there's risk of car breakdowns. It increases your having to go to the petrol station. If you act as though you already have COVID-19, think about it that way

then you'll work as hard as you can to limit your contact with others as much as possible so the full live stream are on Jacinda's Facebook page and the official government website as well is always there for you to check covid19.govt.nz Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The Podcast

ZM Fact of the Day Day, Day, Day, Day Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We've got a special guest for today's Fact of the Day. Oh, okay. A special guest. I thought their name was Bridget, but Bridget might be mum, because this has come from a Facebook account.

Okay. And the first day of homeschooling and quarantine education meant that dad set the task of coming up with a fact of the day. Really? The kids had to come up with a fact of the day. This young lady who I thought, yeah, again, I thought was Bridget, but I think that might be mum's Facebook account, has found a fact of the day. This young lady who I thought, yeah, again, I thought was Bridget, but I think that might be mum's Facebook account, has found a fact of the day. Right, and so wait, you're going to use their heads.

They're doing it. They're doing the whole thing. I don't know why this is making me feel so emotional. That's really cute. See, you felt emotional. I feel like you're being lazy and outsourcing fact of the day here. Well, the only thing, that's really cute. Whatever it takes.

Hey, we've got to keep people busy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm willing to. And I don't believe we've ever had this. I've Googled. Okay. It's been verified. We can add a little bit more to the end and have a chat about it.

Okay. Yep. And I think the video also includes their very own take on the Fact of the Day jingle. Brilliant. I'm excited to hear. I'm actually excited to hear this. Okay, here we go. Today's Fact of the Day. Oh i'm excited to hear i'm actually excited to hear okay here we go today's fact of the day oh it's muted hey you can't see that until the video starts playing i had it all

queued up hey we live and we learn all right today's fact of the day they're tapping their paper hello everyone and welcome to our very own fact of the day. Day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do. Good. Not bad. It's better. We would like to give you fun facts,

and we will do this every day that we are in isolation. Today, our fact is, before the year 1913, parents were able to put their kids in a post. I know. That sounds crazy. That's how you got sent to Grandma's house. Imagine if they did that today. Thanks for joining us.

See you again tomorrow with another fact of the day. I like the creative take. It's a catchy jingle. I like that. Oh, that was so good. Yeah. It was really good. I loved that.

You could post children? You could post children. Yeah, if you wanted to get them to your grandparents and the grandparents then you didn't live there. Obviously, transport was significantly harder back in the day. You could just give them to the mailman. And the US Postal Service would take babies to the next area, often on rail.

They would keep them supervised. Yeah, right. But it would cost you. Yeah, right. It would cost you a lot of money. Did they poke holes in the package so they could breathe? Well, here's a picture of a baby sitting in a mailbag. Like literally has just plopped a baby into the saddlebag.

Wow. Megan, you look horrified. It's a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. Yeah, a different time. These things happen. But yeah, you could pop your baby in the post to get them to the grandparents.

And then when the grandparents are done with them, they'd send them back. And if they were bigger, they'd just like stand by the mailbox. And they'd be like, where are you going? And they'd have a little tag on them saying the... Yeah, right. Like an unaccompanied minor for a flight. Four-year-old Charlotte was sent by an Idaho railway mail car from Grangeville, Idaho to her grandparents' house 73 miles away for 53 cents worth of stamps.

Oh, okay. That would have been quite a bit in the day. It would have been. But probably less than a plane ticket or... When you go unaccompanied minor on a plane, does it cost any more? Because I feel like they're getting far more attention than me from the flight attendants.

I want that sort of attention. You want to hand the lollies out. You've handed the lollies out. attention than me from the flight attendants. I want that sort of attention. Yeah, right. You want to hand the lollies out. Yeah, I want to hand the lollies out. You've handed the lollies out. I want to do it every time. And I want to tag with my name on it.

Well, they actually get a bracelet, right? Yeah, they get a thing, yeah. That tracks them. Yeah. I want a bracelet that tracks them. But you're right, you don't get as much attention from them. I want more attention from the flight attendants.

Well, I'm travelling without my mum. So you look in your early 50s. I'm not, I'm only 38. Why are you wearing a Winnie the Pooh onesie? Oh, I was trying to wear something comfortable. Now pay me lots of attention, please. So today's fact of the day, users submitted,

is that before the year 1913, you could put your kids in the post. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There is, we like to talk about the positive things that are coming out of this lockdown. And one of them is that in the South Island,

every SPCA centre is completely cleared out of adopted animals. Yes. Because a lot of people, and a lot of people were rushing pet stores as well and buying up like dogs and cats. Because they're like, well, if I'm going to be home for four plus weeks, I want a new cute puppy or kitten. There's not many pet stores that well and buying up like dogs and cats because they're like well if I'm going to be home for four plus weeks I want a new cute puppy

or kitten. There's not many pet stores that still have animals. There's not. They sell fish but they've got to be the duddest pets around right? Yeah.

Because you can't even cuddle them. Well you can but you pat them. I like to pat my pets real hard. Yeah right. Fish don't like that.

No. I've lost too many frogs that way. Oh, my God. So Christchurch, Nelson, Ivercargill, Greymouth, Dunedin have all been completely emptied out. Wow. They, yeah. So I just want to urge people that even when this is over,

remember pets forever. Well, yeah, because this happens at Christmas and after every Game of Thrones. Tell you what else is forever? Luggage. Don't buy it if you're just going to throw it out after this all ends. What? I mean, that'd probably be a stupid going to throw it out after this all ends. What?

I mean, that'd probably be a stupid time to throw it out because you'd be able to travel again and you bought that luggage. Yeah. Imagine buying brand new luggage just before all this. Be itching to use it. Do you think you just pack something and go to the lounge and then back to the room?

Oh, yeah, like Megan's going to go stay in her spare room and pretend it's a hotel. Yeah, I'm going to take my bag. You should pack the suitcase. Are you going to make it a really authentic experience? Are you going to rush? Oh, quick, we're late. No, because they're not you.

No, I'm going to put little chockies on my pillow, though. Fold it back and put little chockies. I'll put a robe in the wardrobe. Yeah. Like, what else can I do? As someone who's fallen asleep on a Malteser, you've got to be very careful about chocolate in bed. What kind of chocolate are you going to...

It'll be a Whittaker's, one of those little Whittaker's ones. Are you going to put a Bible in the drawer next to your bed? I would need a Bible to do that. Do you have a Bible at home? No. No. I don't. Yeah.

I've got Harry Potter in the chamber of secrets. Oh, put that in the drawer. In the drawer. That's my Bible. That would annoy me though, because if you're going to start reading them again, you're probably best Harry Potter in the Chamber of Secrets. Oh, put that in the drawer. Put Harry Potter in the drawer. That's my Bible. That would annoy me though because if you're going to start reading them again, you're probably best to start with the Philosopher's Stone. You don't want to jump straight into Chamber of Secrets. Yeah, start reading them again.

You should put your fridge in the room as well so you've got a mini bar. Yeah, so it hums in the night. And a little microwave. Yeah. And a little UHT thing of milk. Oh, yeah. So you can make an instant coffee. I need a mini fridge though because my big ass fridge is not going to fit in that bedroom.

No, put it in. Yeah, drag it in. Do you want to make this an authentic experience or not? Yeah. I'm doing it. Okay. I'm definitely doing it. We've got to find ways to amuse ourselves during this isolation.

What do you think, at the moment, of the animals adopted from the SPCA, what names do you think? Tiger. At the moment. Rona. Blackie for all the black cats. Tabby.

I'm just trying to think of like big movie stars or famous animals. Hey, look, we tried. I'm out. I'm done. Can we just move on? Yeah, hey, look, we don't have to dwell on these things. Just trying it out. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Thank you to everybody who has joined us this morning, listening on the radio and on our live stream, FVMZM on Facebook. It actually is really nice to be able to, like, chat to people on the live stream, you know? Yeah. Because we just talk and we get stuck in this little bubble in here,

which we're going to be going forward. But, you know, like, it's nice to have the interaction with other people apart from you two. Okay, I've got something I want to play. But hold on just a minute. I'm just going to make sure this is muted first. Yep. Are you ready?

Yep. This is what I reckon we need. This is what I reckon we need today. Oh, you reckon? It's not my key. Hayley Westenra, singing the national anthem. Tell you about the time

I better at SingStar? Singers don't do well at SingStar because they do trills and stuff. You just like follow the lines. Yep.

Play the game, baby. Stick to your strength, Hayley Westenra. Ha ha ha. But you're better going, baby. Stick to your strength, Hayley Wesson. I'm really feeling this. I feel like we need to end the show on this every time. Yeah. Well, we're in lockdown.

That is our guarantee we're going to end. And maybe different versions of our beautiful national anthem sung by different people. Oh! Oh, that was... White people, you can stop mumbling. No, you can bloody well learn it. You can bloody well learn it. Yeah. Hear our voices be entreat, God defend our freedom. God bless this extreme war, From the shouts of strife and war Make her praises heard afar

God keep and keep He is the Lord Stay at home. This is weird. Stay at home. It was weird. Why would you want to leave? God, it's only not even day one. Hey, be safe.

Stay at home. What's your dog done? Leo's like running around to look at you. He heard that noise and was like, I can hear so much more of this than the humans can.