ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 27th 2020

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

Claire from New York  Unconventional Breakfasts  Comedians in Iso  Jacinda ArdernSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Flesh, Fauna, Megan. The podcast. Day two. Did everyone have realisations yesterday? Yeah, there was. I think driving home from here was the scariest. It was just usually bumper to bumper traffic. Yeah. People going the other way and there was nothing. Now it's like,

there's a car. Well, there's a car. And do you look at other people in the cars and like, what are you doing? Yeah, where are you going? What are you doing?

Yeah. I know, I'm looking at everyone and I'm like, where do you think you're going? No, I mean like more like obviously there must be an essential service so like what are they doing?

Or they're going to the supermarket maybe because I walked to the supermarket yesterday dead. I've never seen the supermarket yesterday, dead. I've never seen downtown Auckland City so dead. And even I've been in, like, maybe I'll go to the gym early Sunday morning because we're used to waking up so early.

And there'll always be people around. But yesterday, it was like a movie. I drove down Hobson Street, which is central Auckland, with my window down, and I heard birds. Yeah, it's so quiet. I was like a movie. I drove down Hobson Street, which is central Auckland, with my window down, and I heard birds. Yeah, it's so quiet. I was like, whoa. Never heard, like, little sparrows in the city before. In the city, yeah.

It's never quiet enough to hear them. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah, yeah. Day two. Here we are. Of 30 to start with, right?

Yeah, 30. Megan, you've got a little treat for us before 7 o'clock. I mean, I say us, I mean just us in studio. Our ISO bubble. But maybe people are looking to spend their time a certain way. You could share your secrets. Oh, I totally share. Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying. way, you could share your secrets. Oh, I totally share. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I see what you're saying. Yeah, I'll share my secrets. Yeah. Past the time. You're trying to keep the rules of the surprise up. I'm trying to keep the surprise a surprise before I just said exactly what it was. Yeah.

The top six is coming up as well before seven. Yeah. The police are calling police back into the force. Like retired police. Retired police to help them out because, you know, they police back into the force. Like retired police. Retired police to help them out because, you know, they know how it all works. But I've got the top six ways to tell it's a cop that's come out of retirement. All right. It's coming up.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Did you have any data issues yesterday? I'm finding data is pretty bad in this. Actually, have we run out of data? No. I got a notification saying yesterday I've had three quarters of data for the month,

but I'm over three quarters of the way through the month, so that's always pretty bad. But I'm always on Wi-Fi, so how are you using data? But yeah, I've had... So you're Wi-Fi rubbish. I've had home. Often I'll just switch off Wi-Fi because it's so slow. So it turns out

that everyone might be feeling a bit of a pinch with data. Yesterday my Netflix kept on, it's like, you know how it goes to the black screen? And it's like retry. It's like Netflix era. It was really, I didn't know what to do with myself.

So there has been on the Chorus network a record surge to, it peaked at 1.99 terabytes a second. A second. Now that's a lot, a lot of data. Wait a minute, let me get this again. On data network, so mobile data. No, Chorus.

On Chorus, the Chorus network. Home internet. Home internet. So they supply all the internet to all. On Chorus. This is home internet. So they supply all the internet to all the providers in New Zealand, don't they? Yes. They're the ones that do the cables, the fiber. Yeah, they come around and drill holes in your fence and run a cable where you ask them not to. Yeah.

So it's surged to a peak of 1.99 terabytes a second. Are you doing calculations? I'm just trying to work out how big that is. Well, you think about like when you buy a hard drive now, it's like... One terabyte is a massive hard drive. It's like a terabyte, it's a massive hard drive, exactly. Yeah, should we say... Plus two of those a second.

Are we familiar with a gigabyte? Yeah. So it's nearly 2,000 gigabytes a second. So a good high-quality download of a movie would be about a gig, right? One and a half gigs. Around about an hour TV show, good quality is about one and a something gig. Yeah. So yeah, a good movie would be more than that.

Yeah. So they have said it's not peak capacity. You're telling me about 2,000 hours of television a second. Yes. Yeah, there we go. That's how we get it. 2,000 hours of high- second. Yes. Yeah, there we go. That's how we get it. 2,000 hours of high-quality television a second. A second.

A second. Wow. Although some of the stuff that that would have been counted for wouldn't be broadcast on television, I would imagine. No. No. No. So they have a capacity of 3.5 terabytes a second.

So they're not, they said they're not at their limit, in case you're freaking out. Well, don't tell us that. We'll try to get there. It's not a goal that we're trying to hit. Yeah. I also guess it depends

where you live as well, wouldn't it? What do you mean, like me? Yeah, or just your neighbourhood. Like, would there be certain capacities for neighbourhoods as well or just...

I imagine so. Because don't they all have their local exchanges and that kind of thing? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, because Vodafone broadband was down yesterday afternoon if you were having issues and don't know what that was about. They would have heard about that. Nah, they wouldn't have if you tried calling their call centre.

That's what I was about to say. They wouldn't have heard about it because there's no answer in their phone. Yeah, and Netflix, they reduced their bit rate by 25% on Tuesday evening, if you've noticed that as well. Ha ha. What? That's just me who never gets high-quality Netflix laughing at everybody else who's finally not getting high-quality Netflix. Yeah, but that means that your low-quality Netflix is now extra low-quality.

It couldn't know. It couldn't be. I started watching that documentary everyone's talking about. Tiger King. Yes. Tiger King. Yes. Tiger King. I'm halfway through. I've watched two episodes. How many episodes are there? Do you, at this stage, do you not like the woman? That...

I don't really like anyone. They're all just a bit weird, eh? You're all just like... Wait, who's the woman? Because I've listened to the podcast. Carol. Yeah, okay. The woman that runs the... Carol. Carol. That wants to take them all down, but yet is doing the same thing. Yes, she used to do it, right? podcast. Yeah, okay. The woman that runs there that wants to take them all down, but is doing the same thing. Yes, she used to do it, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Carol, she runs a tiger park. It's fascinating. Not really any charming characters on that show. No. You're not quite sure who to hate the most. That's why it was a confusing story. Because it was a podcast first, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was called Over My Dead Body. Now, I've listened to the podcast. Don't give anything away. No. When I listened to the podcast, I... Don't give anything away. Nah. When I listened to the podcast, I was like, this is the craziest story. But as you say, no likeable characters. So you don't... It's not like your traditional story of I'm on their side or I'm on

their side. You're just like, these crazy bastards will kill everyone. That's funny though. Like human nature, you spend the whole time trying to be like, whose side are you on? Yeah, because I'm like, do I like Exotic Joe? Like, I want to like him, but then I know that he's also bad. Like, it's just like,

and then do I want to like this woman? But she just seems nasty as well. The whole thing's crazy. Also, it's Joe Exotic, not Exotic Joe. Joe Exotic Joe, whatever it's, I can't remember. Exotic Joe, local Joe. Travelling Joe. Joe, he's got lots of tigers. It's quite fascinating. Tiger King. Yeah, local Joe. Travelling Joe. He's got lots of tigers.

It's quite fascinating. Yeah, Tiger King. Yeah, Tiger King. Yeah, we're the watch. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So we have been catching up with Kiwis in isolation around the world and this morning we're going to New York. Hi, Clea. Hi, guys.

How are you? Good. Wow, this has changed. The whole situation changed quite quickly in America, going from a pretty casual attitude about it to all of a sudden thousands of people infected. And it seems New York City is probably the epicenter of it for the United States. What's it like being there? Yes, you're not wrong. Last week was definitely a bit of a rollercoaster with kind of everything snowballing and hearing so much information. But it's all good. Yeah, I mean, morale is still high in my flat.

So that's the main thing. A lot of cases in New York. How long have you been in lockdown for? Because when did they say go home and stay home for you guys? They closed all the bars and restaurants beginning of last week and kind of I started working from

home beginning of last week as well. So it's kind of yeah, we're kind of week two now. Right. And so you've been in lockdown for that long. What are your tips? Because we're kind of into our second day now. Maybe a bit longer for some people, but how have you found

any little tips or anything? Lots of treats. I've done a bit of baking in the flat and also I found just kind of staying with my son a bit because there's so much news going on and

I listened to this podcast called The Daily, which was just kind of these scary news stories. So, yeah, just kind of staying to my phone and getting outside about twice a day is, yeah, definitely good. I think from everyone we've talked to, that seems to be the common thing, you know, like keep yourself busy, don't read too much news. That's just, yeah, we've got COVID19.gov.nz here,

and that is just facts. It's my opinion, and it's not scam hunger. It's not telling you anything other than the numbers and what you need to know to keep yourself safe. Has there been... Yeah, no, that sounds like a good call. What's the presence like on the streets outside of New York? Is it a heavy police presence?

Is there military or just nothing? No, there's actually nothing. It's just all the streets are gazed, like I'm looking out my window right now. I live in Williamsburg, so I live in Brooklyn, and, yeah, there's just kind of no one around. But, yeah, Manhattan is the same. Which is weird.

It's weird because New York, whenever you go to New York, at any time of the day, there's always people around. Oh, yeah, no, it's absolutely bizarre. It's weird because New York, whenever you go to New York, at any time of the day, there's always people around. Oh, yeah. No, it's absolutely bizarre. It's a very strange feeling just kind of walking out and, yeah. Well, as Frank Sinatra famously sung, he's going to wake up in the city that never sleeps. Yeah.

And he's singing about New York, New York. Yeah. But, yeah, having seen photos and video from there at the moment, and cities around the world as well, but it's what needs to be done. It is. Claire, thank you so much for sharing your tips and your experiences. Stay safe in New York. Thank you so much for talking to us.

Cool, thanks, guys. See you. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Police officers. Coppers. Coppers. Coppers.

What does that show you watch in the late? We've got a bent copper. We've got bent coppers. We've. Coppers. What is that show you're watching? We've got a bent copper. We've got bent coppers. We've got... Ossifers. Yeah. Ossifers. What is it called?

It's a British... Yeah, it's a British show. We've got bent coppers. We've got us a bent copper. There's someone in this police department... Is it a recent show? Line of Duty. There's someone in this police department...

That's actually a great... I reckon you could binge that during lockdown on Netflix. It's so good. British just know how to do great drama. They know a good drama. They know a bent copper. It's about the department that sorts out the bent coppers. That's our job.

We get in there, we flush out the bent coppers. Okay. All right, so the top six ways to tell it's a cop that's our job. We get in there, we flush out the bent coppers. Okay. All right, so the top six ways to tell it's a cop that's come out of retirement because they're calling those coppers. It's not the bent coppers. Someone's actually made a remix called Bent Coppers, and it's just him saying bent coppers. Oh, we need to hear it.

Coppers. I can't plug into my thing. You don't have it on. You've not been given. A long time, we were going down. A long time, we were going down. I can't plug into my thing. You didn't have it on. You've not been given. Where does it say it yet? Anyway. What were they even saying?

Fellas. You're going down for a long time, fellas. Fellas. He's a big copper. He's a big copper. So the top six ways you can tell it's a cop that's come out of retirement. Okay. Got a lot to do.

Yeah. The New Zealand Police Force, and we'll be talking to Mike Bush of the New Zealand Police. Yeah, police commissioner just after seven. He's the one that switches on the light for Batman. Yes. So the idea is, I guess... Switch it on, Mike. That there'll be police that get sick because they're on the front line of things, and they are going to need police

out of retirement to help out. Yep. So the top six signs that it's a cop that's come out of retirement. Number six, they don't trust anything internet related. They're doing the office work. I'm not putting in nut. It's a computer.

You know who uses computers? Bant coppers. How old are these retired police going to be? 90. Well, those ones are very old. Yeah. I like to scribble things down on a parchment and pop it in a manila folder.

Parchment. And then put it in a filing cabinet. Anything less, you're a bent cop. Number five on the list of the top six ways to tell it's a cop that's come out of retirement. They think tattoos are a sure sign of a gang member, not a new police recruit. Yeah. God, I love a tattoo, don't they?

Because they were all ages ago. You couldn't have a tattoo. Or maybe you had to cover them. Yeah, right. But now the sleeves are pushed up onto the bulging biceps of male and female officers up and down this fine nation, and you're going to see their sleeve tattoos. Good. Yeah.

Not my day. That was a sign of a bent copper. Number four on the list of the top six ways to tell it's a cop that's come out of retirement, they turn up for work in a Mitsubishi V3000. Now, not everybody got that joke. So I pre-empted you not getting that joke, Megan, by pulling up a picture of a Mitsubishi V3000. Oh, my God.

That is a real 90s police car, wasn't it? This was from the days where there was New Zealand police and the New Zealand traffic. Oh, yeah, okay. Were they the traffic police? No, that was when they'd merged. Was this post-merge? Yeah, it was post-merge.

Now, see, I think this 1992 Mitsubishi V3000, the slightly rounder shape was after they'd merged. Because they gave those away on sale at the century, didn't they? Did they? I think that it or... Not the actual police cars. Oh. Tonight you're paying for a decommissioned police car.

I was like, what the hell? No, no, no. I love the one that speaks Megan. He totally knew what I was... Oh, yeah, yeah. No, look, because that one's got the emblem of the New Zealand traffic police on it. Traffic safety police. Oh, I don't remember that.

So there used to be... Too young. The police used to be in two parts. There were the bent coppers and there were the straight coppers. No, there was the traffic police and the police. Ministry of Transport. Ministry of Transport, but they weren't. So they merged in 1992.

Yep. Yeah. And I just said that Mitsubishi, that in 2000 and 1992, Mitsi was the first post-merge. 2000 and 1992. Mitzi was the first post-merge. 2000 and 1992. 2000 and 1990. 8, 5, 7, January. So, yeah, you get the joke now.

I'm turning up in a really old police car. Thanks for that. They gave away on sale in a century. That they picked up from Motat. They had the real, you can see it at Motat when it all opens, when all this is said and done

and we can get back to Motat. Let's get back to Motat. You can go and see the car. You'll turn up and you'll be like. I get Vaughn's joke. Now I get it. Yeah. It was a hibernator, which is where a joke doesn't make sense at the time.

It just needs to go away for a bit. The best kind of joke. Yeah, not a slow burner. It's far slower than a slow burner. It's a hibernator. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to tell it's a cop that's committed retirement.

They ask you if you're pro or anti-South African rugby tours and then beat you accordingly. That wasn't for everybody either. That wasn't a hibernator but yeah No, no, it was just like I said it and then I was like

actually they were just doing what they were told Yeah, I know I wasn't sure how to react It's a marred part of New Zealand history isn't it? Number two on the list

of the top six ways to tell it's a cop that's coming out of retirement They're very excited about tasers They didn't have them Yeah, they didn't have them No, they had those hard wooden battens Yep But they didn't about tasers. They didn't have them. Yeah, they didn't have them. No, they had those hard wooden batons.

Yeah. But they didn't have tasers. And the number one on today's top six ways to tell it's a cop that's just come out of retirement. They don't know the latest New Zealand police viral TikTok dance video. I'm not doing some stupid dance on the internet. I don't trust it. And I'm not. I stupid dance on the internet. I don't trust it. And I'm not.

I'll bet in corporate. It's today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Day two of lockdown, level four. Yesterday, driving home from work, one of the very few cars on the road, the road that I go home on. Megan, you go on the same road.

Yep. The motorway. The motorway, the North Western. For people out of Auckland or maybe who haven't driven on the North Western, it heads both north and west. Hence the name. One of the big ones.

North Western. But it's always busy. Always busy. Always busy, but not yesterday. Also, it had a stint of a few years of roadworks. I'm not talking tack and innie. Yeah, right. That thing stint of a few years of roadworks. No, I'm not talking Takanini. Yeah, right. That thing's been under a constant state of roadworks for like 85 years.

But one of the things that was put in was a dedicated cycle lane. And yesterday, it was on that dedicated cycle lane that I saw the police talking to cyclists. As the cycle lane is not near anybody's homes. What would you wear? Because you saw the cyclists stopped, right? I saw them stopped. There was no police there. But you're right.

You'd have to bike. Kilometres from residential. Yeah. You'd have to bike a long way. Well out of your recommended exercise zone. There was a lot of confusion yesterday because people are like, well, how far can I go for a walk and for a bike? Keep it when you said that i was all ready to go for a bike yesterday and i'm like well if i'm biking by myself why can't i go for a couple of k's if i'm not around anyone you know just for mental health and for exercise or should i just go around the block like i would say expect

questioning right if but then you were saying me, this morning when you got into work, that they looked like they were mates who had met up to go cycling. That's not on. But, I mean, also we can't assume and then. Exactly. We don't know. They may have been West Auckland. Are people who live in West Auckland who every day cycle to work at a hospital?

Yeah, but are they living? Are they in each other's bubble? Because if you're not, then you shouldn't be, like you said, or tree stuff. They might be in each other's work bubble. They might work together

at the other end of things. That's the other thing about this whole situation we're in. We can't assume everybody's situation lines up with our own personal experiences. And we shouldn't be the ones pointing the fingers. Leave that up to the police.

Report it, sure. Because when I went past the police, there were three cyclists. They had them distanced at about five metres apart. And there were two police cars and they were speaking to them to, I don't know, to work out what the scenario was. And I didn't see the end

so I can't say they got handcuffed and chucked in the back. Yeah. But they were ascertaining as to what they were doing so far away from any residential. There's going to be a lot of flare-ups. Because as this goes on, and we might have to stay in isolation longer, if anybody sees anyone out on the street,

they're just going to have a go at them, aren't they? Yeah. I mean, we've had one day of being locked up and it's horrible. But remember, Anya got a finger wiggle because she was driving home from here, obviously, in her pyjamas. Because yesterday we had the pyjama day. Yeah, and if you saw someone driving, like a young female driving in her pyjamas, like, it doesn't look like an essential service. So what happened? You just got a wiggle?

Yeah, it was really close to my house. Like I was probably about 100 metres from home. And yeah, these two old mates were out for a walk and saw me approaching. Then one of them gave me this real dark look and the other one wiggled his finger. And then as I looked in my rear view after I'd passed, they were both standing there being like,

oh, for God's sake. But were they friends? It looked like it, yeah. So they had met up with each other. It was bizarre. Outside of their bubbles. They could be living together. I don't know.

It was weird. Unlike gays to be very sassy like that, though. Just saying. Yeah. It was a sass. A bit of sass. Yeah. But yeah, we do need to heed that message to stay home.

But we shouldn't assume other people's... Yeah, well, it's exactly like... It's going to be tough. If there's a question... Yeah. I mean, if someone's breaking the law, you call 111 still. Yeah. If you've got a possible situation that you can't, you know, get all the details of it,

105 is the number you call. Although apparently that's very busy. So that's probably why, as we talked about before, retired police or police no longer in the force have been asked to maybe return to duties. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. So after we closed our cafe, we had a lot of food left over. Now, a lot of it is, like, chopped onions

and, like, some sliced mushrooms. That's the worst part about onions, chopping them. Yeah. I love onions, but if they're chopped, baby. Now our whole fridge just smells like onions. Yeah. So we had lots of random stuff left over, not easily handed on to people.

Yeah. You know what I mean? And also then I was stuck in a pickle, like, are we supposed to be handing food on to people. Yeah. You know what I mean? And also then I was stuck in a pickle like, are we supposed to be handing food over to people that aren't in our isolation bubble? Do you know what I mean? No. No.

I mean, you can go and buy food for people. Yes. And leave it on their doorstep. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But like preparing food now out of your ISO bubble is not what you should be doing. No.

So I wanted to use up the food rather than let it go to waste, and I thought I would make you guys breakfast. Yay. So I have made you – oh, it's quite hot, actually. Oh, it's been in the oven. We have an oven at work, and it's not like it's being used at all. Oh, by the way, we've got to start doing our dishes because we're the only people here and the dishes are starting to pile up.

It's pretty obvious that it's us. You guys go on about you uploading the dishwasher technique. You can show me how you do it. Oh, my God, did you just trick us into loading the dishwasher? She's like a mum to her kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show me how good you are. Oh, you think you're better than me, do you?

Well, you load it and we'll have a look. So, yeah, and this is a slippery slope as well because I'm just preparing lots of food. Now, is this a quiche or a frittata? It's a quiche. It's a quiche.

Okay. Because it's got like the pastry on the outside. Ow, it's hot. So this is a... So it's funny because you touched it before and you said,

oh yeah, that's hot, that's been in the oven and you just touched it again like you expect it not to be hot anymore. It's a chicken cranberry and brie quiche. That's Fletcher's favourite combination of food.

Fluff of food. I like that on a pizza. You're right, Vaughan. You know me. I just know you love chicken and cranberry and camembert. Excuse me. I know you as well. That's why I made that flavour.

And you've got a sprig of thyme on the top there. It's got thyme all the way through it, but then I put a toast of thyme on top. Oh, good. I tell you what, my thyme bush is out of control at's got thyme all the way through it, but then I put a toast of thyme on top. Oh, good. I tell you what, my thyme bush is out of control at the moment.

You trim your bush, mate. You've got plenty of thyme. When I don't need a trimmer for this long and luscious. Right, okay. I put some sprigs of thyme in that straw I made the other day.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is this a problem, do you think, in isolation? Yeah. We're going to, I know,

because how many snacks did you have yesterday? No, so we don't have snacks. I stayed pretty busy. Yeah, right. So I wasn't snacking, we're going to, I know, because how many snacks did you have yesterday? No, so we don't have snacks. I stayed pretty busy. Yeah, right. So I wasn't snacking, but the day before, so that was pre-lockdown. Yeah, I've been in a bad space.

Yeah. Ours isn't snacks. It's just like the fact that we're just cooking and baking all the time. Yes. So, yeah, I have to bring it here so you guys can eat it. And we are not complaining about that, are we? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I have to bring it here so you guys can eat it. And we are not complaining about that, are we? Not only are we broadcasting live, but we're live on Facebook. And we were yesterday.

This is where we noticed that after day one of lockdown, only one day people have started having unconventional breakfasts. Yeah, this is going to be a slippery slope, isn't it? Or I feel like we'll do it initially and then we'll be like, oh no, we can't sustain this. Yeah, or the other way around. You start with the best of intentions. The amount of workout videos I've seen people doing,

the home workout videos. My wife's got one scheduled for this afternoon. She's got a friend that does fitness training. Yeah. Four o'clock this afternoon. Are you kidding me? She wants me to. On does fitness training. Yeah. Four o'clock this afternoon. And do you have to do it? She wants me to. On Zoom.

Right, okay. I'm still doing it, I'm just out of your camera shot. But I think it'll go the other way. I think people will start with the best of intentions and then get a little lazy on it. Yeah, right. But even before it started, I had a bounty bar for breakfast on.

Well, that's the thing. Day before the lockdown. We noticed yesterday on the Facebook Live, people were commenting what they were having for breakfast. There was lollies, a party pack. There was Oreos for breakfast. Yep. Lots of, because you're just like at home, just grab whatever is there.

Because a lot of people stocked up. Like I stocked up a few things. I didn't go crazy with panic buying or anything. But I just got, you know, a few packs of biscuits and lollies and, you know. I didn't get too many treats because I knew this would happen. Oh, my God. And I've gone through so much of them. Yeah.

Because they're just there. What was that Netflix show I'm watching? Tiger King? Tiger King. Tiger King. And I was like, well, I better eat some chocolate. Because who knows if the world's going to end? You know, like, this is my thinking.

So I'm just like, all of a sudden, I'm eating a whole block of Whitaker's chocolate. And you don't have to eat a fair... Or you're like, well, I don't have to eat a fair bit of chocolate to be as crazy as Joe Exotic. Exactly, exactly. And also you're like, well, no one can see me right now. What's a bit of chub?

At least I'm not like wrangling tigers and stuff. Exactly. But like, the thing is, we still have to get up for work. So there's still a breakfast routine, but it's when I get home that it's out the window. So I could see if there was no routine for you in the morning, how you could easily just have a bounty bar for breakfast. Yeah.

Or a party mix. So given that we got quite a few comments yesterday on our Facebook live, we wanted to open it up to see if you've already turned to an unconventional breakfast. Yeah, just in the last couple of days, what have you had for breakfast that is unconventional, that is naughty? Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. We've noticed that a few people are already, it's only day two of lockdown, already turning

to unconventional breakfasts because they're at home and the nommies are there. Well, because, you know, we went to the supermarket, didn't we? And we anticipated we'd be locked up. And so we bought treats. And some of those treats are falling pre-10am. But what does it say in the rule book? But it's the best time to eat treats because you've got the rest of the day to work them off.

See, as a person who eats but then with no intention but just needed to justify. Exactly, you do. So we do have some calls and texts coming through. Hannah, your

breakfast? Hi, yeah, I had an ice smoker and a cookie time cookie for breakfast this morning.

Ice smoker's like a breakfast drink, right? Yeah, thank you Megan, thank you. Did you give the cookie time like 15, 10 seconds in the microwave

just so it's like warm because it's breakfast? No, unfortunately I had to get it from the Z and because it's just them making coffee. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. Well, it's delicious. Now, do you think you'll be able to keep this up for the entire four weeks?

I hope not. I'm merchandising, so I've got to be out and about early in the morning. And that's the thing you're out and about.

Well, you look after yourself, Hannah. Thanks for calling in. Thank you for your service. All right. Yeah, Caitlin, what's your breakfast? The boyfriend?

Yeah, my boyfriend. We've just moved house and he thinks it is perfectly fine to have a couple of lying browns all playing the PlayStation for breakfast. Lying? Oh, my boyfriend, we've just moved house, and he thinks it is perfectly fine to have a couple of lying browns all playing the PlayStation for breakfast. Lying? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I mean, a Guinness or a Stout, a Guinness or a Kilkenny, that's your breakfast beers. Is it? I don't know. Is that like a yeasty beer? I honestly would have no idea. It's pretty much Marmite, right? No.

It's like a puddle water beer. Yeah. It's a draft. Are you worried that this could be an ongoing thing, Caitlin, with the boyfriend? Well, I'm still working, so he's sober by the time I get home. Oh, okay. Well, that's funny. All passed out.

Also, that's not great for your PlayStation attention, is it? And your shooting, your accuracy. Yeah. If you're drinking a couple of... No, it's like playing pool. There's a magic sort of zone. A couple of beers is probably perfect. Loosens you up.

Yeah. Thanks for your call, Caitlin. Jane, your breakfast? Hi. I had a hot cross buns and a little mini Easter eggs. Oh, but that happens over this time. Tis the season. Yeah.

Yeah. You toasted the hot cross bun? It was easy and right there. Yeah, definitely toasted it. How early was the Easter egg, Jane? The hot cross bun? It was just easy and right there. Yeah, definitely toasted it. How early was the Easter egg, Jane? The hot cross bun was first and then the Easter eggs came later. That was breakfast dessert. Yeah, it was great.

Breakfast dessert. That's it. It's a thing now in lockdown. Like, we've got to have these treats, don't we? Berserk. Berserk. Berserk, yeah. Berserk.

Jane, thanks for your call. You stay safe? Yep. Okay, yeah. Berserk. Jane, thanks for your call. You stay safe. Thanks. Okay, yeah. See ya. 17 past 7 text messages. Breakfast. My breakfast has gone the opposite way.

Oh, okay. I've had a juicy marinated pork, exotic coconut rice with spinach and a zingy tropical salsa. What are you locked up? You're having brunner. Are you locked up with the chef or something? Yeah, that sounds like leftover brunner. Dinner, right? Yeah.

Taking through to breakfast. But because it's a dinner into a breakfast, would it then be a deck fist? I don't know. Yeah. Rather than a brunner. Yeah. Sure.

Somebody said it's just been, I'm slowly getting through my supplies of energy drinks for breakfast. Oh, no, don't. That's not good. Oh. You're going's not good. Oh. You're going to crash out. Yeah. Somebody said, I don't remember, darts.

Someone said I've had a dart for breakfast so far. Oh, my God. Did you see that Siggy Factory was open yesterday? Yeah. In the news? What's Siggy Factory? A Siggy Factory was open. And they're like, I don't think that's essential.

No. A factory that makes cigarettes. Yeah. Well, what else do you think a ciggy factory would be? They might have been selling the cigarettes. They don't have like a cellar door version of it. You know how like a vineyard has like a cellar door where you can buy that? Oh, no, no, no, no.

A ciggy factory. I don't know. Ciggy tasting. And they were supplying service stations. Well, they're making. They're making people go to work. So, yeah, I don't know if they'll be open today because I don't think that counts as essential. No.

In this kind of situation that we're in. All right, next on the show, we have Police Commissioner Mike Bush on the phone with us to see how the first day of lockdown has gone around the country. Any questions that you've got, fire them through 9696. We'll ask him next.

We'll get a bit of clarity as well on the exercise going outside thing as well because that's confusing a lot of people. He's next. We are joined on the phone now though to answer some questions by the New Zealand Commissioner of Police Mike Bush. Good morning. Good morning. How are you all? Good. Thank you very much. Day in, are people listening?

Yeah, they are. They're doing really, really well. I mean, I think New Zealanders were listening before this happened, in the majority anyway. There have been a few outliers that we've been dealing with. But, you know, in the whole, New Zealanders are behaving brilliantly, as we would expect. But our people have had to have a bit of an interaction with one or two. Right, the one or two, what are they doing?

Are they flouting it? Are they claiming ignorance? What's the... Oh, there was one person, our motorways in Auckland staff yesterday stopped the person, gave him a warning. They had no reason to be out. They stopped him again this morning

and he definitely had no reason to be out. So he was in a vehicle that he wasn't entitled to be in. He was committing driving offences and he was flouting the level four. So, yeah, he'll be, yeah, that'll change the way his day looks. Right. Because I saw a headline that it could mean

up to six months in prison for the worst case offenders. Is this for the multiple? Well, these are the, if, you know, the police have authority delegated to them by the Civil Defence and Emergency Management Act, by medical officers of health under the Health Act, allows us to stop people, allows us to warn them and give them advice

about how to adhere to these things. So if they don't do that, they're obstructing a police officer. So that does come with a bit of a sanction. So there has been a little bit, I'd say, confusion in the last day or so about exercise because people do want to get outside. So what would you say if people wanted to go for a bike ride or go for a run or a walk? Right, keep it in the neighbourhood, keep it local, stay close to home. And I mean close to home.

You know, what you don't want is people injuring themselves, calling on the health service, et cetera, et cetera. It goes the same for, as you know, there's been a bit of a turnaround on the let's go surfing, let's go fishing thing. Yeah. That's out. Because you don't want to have to call on other people to look after you.

You don't want to clog up the health system. Right. Right. So that kind of goes for people saying they wanted to drive to a walking track. You've got to think of if you fall over and hurt your ankle while you're out on that walking track. All that stuff.

Keep it local. Stay close to home. What about cycling? Just around and around the block that you live on? Yep, stay close to home. Don't fall off. You know, you're going to get a bit bored, but it's better than nothing, isn't it?

Yeah, 100%. Keep it local, stay local, stay in the neighbourhood. And it's not forever. If we do this right, if everybody sticks to the rules, it's going to be a much shorter time, isn't it? Oh, totally. Stay home, you'll save lives. That's the point.

And we've got to do this. We just have to do this. What about people who maybe don't necessarily feel quite so safe at home? Yeah, that's the thing with, you know, one of the great things about this is people are really looking out for each other. But, you know, if you're not feeling safe for a particular reason, you know, go onto our website, 105 at police.govt.nz. Send us a message. We'll respond. And if you need us, if there's something that's really scaring you

or if, you know, you think your life's in danger or you're in danger, you give us a call on 111. But, you know, we are getting a lot of calls. So long as you think you need us, give us a call. We're there for everyone. Right. And for people who don't call, I was just wondering, a lot of people in maybe domestic violence situations,

people who are home more might notice more about their neighbours during this time. They might hear things or see things that are worrying to them. Is that a one-one-one emergency? Yeah, look, if you think someone else's life's in danger, you call us. So, you know, we are anticipating an increase in family harm. So if you're hearing something from across the fence or through the wall, give us a call.

We want to keep people safe. Awesome. Well, thanks very much for taking the time to have a chat to us this morning. I hope New Zealanders on a whole continue to be law-abiding citizens to get us through this time. Cheers, Mike. Cheers. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. Comedians in isolation. Well, they're an interesting bunch. They feed on laughs, attention, applause.

Yep. Generally eyes looking at them. And joining us on the phone for our first episode of Comedians in Isolation, friend of the show, Ursula Carlson. Good morning. Good morning. Thanks for the attention, guys. You're welcome.

How did you find the first official day of lockdown? Look, it was actually quite easy because I've been in self-isolation for three weeks because I, you know, I'm not... Well, I don't like a lot of people. No, I mean, I like people, but at a distance. Like, I like where I stand, you know, on a stage and they're down there because usually I find a lot of people

lack a bit of that personal hygiene that you kind of crave in a one-on-one situation with anyone. So as soon as I found out that these people with the bad hygiene could actually make me sick and struggle for breath, I was like, all right, I'm out. I'm going to stay home. But I still need them. I still want, you you know sort of their attention

and their love so I'm online all day you're in a really unique position there you don't want them but you need them

yes yes I know I know it's a real conundrum now you're I could imagine

you would take down not take down physically but you would you've, not take down physically, but you've got no time for the rule breakers in these scenarios. We've talked about this. Yeah, no, zero. Look, I would go in, and, you know, physically I would take down too.

Like, don't mess around. I would get into a fist fight with anyone, really. Like, I've never had a problem buying toilet paper. I think people know, uh-oh had a problem buying toilet paper. I think people know. Uh-oh. This one will fight me. But no, I will tell people

to go home and I dog people in of that person. Have you had to yet from your, your section, your front lawn? Have you made any calls?

Dobbed anybody in? No, no, but I was standing out there looking at people yesterday. You were looking for them? And I was thinking, yeah, yeah, I didn't know when people look at me and they're people yesterday. You were looking for us? Yeah, yeah. I was giving them one quick look at me.

They're like, what the hell is her problem? That. I'm giving them that look. Right. But what I want to do is I want to make a little clip today because what I've seen yesterday, I can't believe my eyes. The whole of New Zealand, I think, at the moment, does that thing where they go, just put it in the mailbox

and then I'll swing by with the kids and pick it up from the mailbox. Or people ask me to put stuff in the mailbox. That's not how it works because I'm still handling it and now you're handling it. Everyone's now moving to the mailbox like we're weed

dealers and we sort them. It's mainly weed that I'm talking about. But you understand what I'm saying. Yeah. Oh, we got the truth. It's confusing there as to whether or not you're on the receiving end or the dealing end of that transaction that you've been asked. Well, I mean, you need money, don't you?

Yeah, it's tough times. That's very true. So how are you filling up your isolation days? What are you up to? Well, I've got the two kids. And you know, like I'm homeschooling. So today, but I also think it should be fun for them. It's like another Christmas holiday. So today, lined up, a lot of fun at my house.

I'm going to let them play with sponges and soap against the car. Yeah, brilliant. And then when they finish with that game, you know, because of course that can't be all day. There's only two cars in the driveway. Then I'm going to let them chase the sand monsters with a vacuum on the inside. Brilliant.

That's it. Yeah, yeah. God, I'm fine lined up at the Carlson household today. Yeah, right. These kids love it. Yeah, yeah. A lot of fun lined up at the Carlson household today. Yeah, right. These kids love it. And you're cranking out some bit more content than usual on Instagram as well. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because I want that attention.

But then I'm also sort of angry at some of the stuff that I see. So I'm also, you know, causing a bit of a ruckus there. So I've called out the anti-vaxxers twice in the two days. I did enjoy those comments though, Ursula. I went through the comments on that post. And last night my manager rang me. She goes, can you stop? Stop commenting.

I go, I can't. I literally cannot. It's like asking me to stop breathing. Like, you know, I just cannot. Because one like asking me to stop breathing. Like, you know, I just cannot. This one woman said they're a minority group. I'm like,

you're not a minority. You're just a group of people making really bad decisions. Oh, brilliant. To call yourself a minority group is a bit of a reach, I reckon. Wow, you've got 40 days to deal with them

before they can actually come and see you again. I think the general public will be gagging for me to get vaccinated. Well, well, let's get back to that sponge and soap play and and winding up anti-vaxxers. Thank you for joining us for Comedians in Isolation

this morning. Well, thank you for speaking to me. That's all. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. We love you too. Love you too. Don't touch me. Don't touch. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Some statistics have been released by Nelson, who, you know, Leslie Nelson. Yeah, the old actor,

the comedy actor. The survey people. No, Nelson. You've read that wrong. It's a city. It's a city of Nelson. I don't know how they must get all the access to all the comedy actor. The survey people. No, Nelson. You've read that wrong. It's a city. Nelson. It's a city of Nelson. I don't know how they must get all the access to all the supermarket sales. So in the first three weeks to March, or actually in the three weeks to March 15,

so that's not even counting from the 15th of March till now, the 27th of March, sales of toilet paper increased 87% compared to the same time last year. I would have thought more. This follows surge in sales of household cleaners and facial tissues up 76% and 67% respectively to this time last year. Within food retailing, rice experienced the biggest surge in demand from shoppers. Sales up 69% compared to this time last year. Now, sales of canned and dried vegetables up 62%.

Canned meals up 58%. Milk up 49%, which is weird because that doesn't, unless you're talking milk powder and UHT, because that doesn't last. Canned fish and seafood up 36%. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. The biggest increase in sales of grocery items were by far foods with long-lasting shelf life.

Because, yeah, you don't know how long you're going to be... In lockdown. So rice, canned dried vegetables, canned meals, milk products. This is an order of most to least. Rice being the biggest, 69%. Down to milk products, canned fish, breakfast cereals, coffee, packaged small goods, bread, carbonated beverages, snack foods. Confectionary had a 9% growth, dollar growth.

What about those mussels? What about those mussels and then you've got to push the butter to stop the salt water? That would have been under canned fish slash seafood. No, it's not canned. It's shell. It's in a shell. Slash seafood, isn't it? I don't know.

Yeah. I'm just thinking they may have over-ordered those again. Also up, body wash and cough and cold treatments are up by 50%. The supermarkets must be making a killing. Yeah. An absolute killing. You said you saw somewhere that they've said there'll be no specials.

I saw one, and I don't want to, don't quote me on this, but I saw one supermarket chain say no specials. Now, I don't know if that's because there's an admin of changing. It's already hard for them to stock the shelves, let alone change out all the price stickers and tags. But I would have thought, don't, let's not get greedy. No, but someone messaged in, it is the restocking of the shelves issue

and it's also an encourages bulk buying. But is that just, it sounds like an excuse. That sounds to me like a supermarket's got an opportunity to make a lot more money. They're already going to make a lot of money. They can always put a limit on it, right? Like they've been doing. They can put a special on and then say limit two.

But I saw an interesting article. People are going to remember how companies treat them during this time. You know what I mean? A lot of people who have been flouting the rules and wanting to stay open longer than they should be and people are not taking kindly to it. Yeah. What company do I make a complaint to about my children? Is that my own company?

That's your own fault. That's an internal HR issue, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Schedule a meeting. Nine minutes away from eight. Next, it's only day two, but if you are having trouble with who you're living with, I'm going to tell you how to maybe not lose it at your

flatmates next. Alright. Housemates, you're living with. I'm going to tell you how to maybe not lose it at your flatmates next. All right. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Housemates. You're all up in their grill now, aren't you? You're isolated together. No. It might be flatmates.

Oh, apart from Fletch. But you've got us. We're kind of like morning housemates. I know, because yesterday I was like, this is going to be tough. Maybe you'll appreciate us a bit more. Yes, sure. I really do appreciate you.

When we're on the radio. Do we? Not privately. Like, I could FaceTime you later. No, that'd be weird. Just be like, yeah, there. No, because remember Ross Boss scheduled in, like, Friday drinks over Zoom, and Fletch is like, oh, no.

Fletch said, I'll be there for five minutes and then I'll just go quiet and then black my screen and then disconnect. I'm doing what I do in real life, a ghost. But it's very hard to ghost from a Zoom conference. It's just weird sitting in front of a laptop. I mean, I'll try it. But you're right, people

are having to isolate with flatmates and maybe family have moved back in with the parents for a while. I mean, anyone that you're forced to like hang out with 24-7 is going to be interesting. There is a whole list of things you can do. Some of it pre-emptive. So first of all,

schedule time together as well as time apart. So I've already, I floated this with my husband. I was like, we need to have like maybe some alone time because I like having baths. He hates it. So I was like, I could go have a bath.

You could go read your book or something. He's like, it's day one and we're scheduling time for bath. And I was like trying to preempt so that, you know. But you're supposed to supervise the kids reading so you can correct any words they get wrong. I don't know. You're pleasing yourself with that one.

Yeah, I'm pretty pleased. Yeah, I thought it was a bit on the nose. He'll be like, Mum, what's this word? I'm having a bath. Quiet time. Tuh-uh.

Get out of your system early. We're day two. But you could go for a walk without him. You could go for walks without each other. That's true. You can do that too. You want some alone time? Secondly, on how to deal with your household mates is thinking ahead.

So you need to front foot what you think could go wrong. So start having conversations like, what if we have an argument? Where are we going to go? Who was it? Because then you won't have an argument about how you're going to handle your argument. That just seems like you're lighting the fire. I think I saw, was it Ursula? I've watched so many people online talking about how they're going to deal with this.

I think Ursula Carlson said she was going to designate areas where if they need some alone time, like you nominate the couch. If I'm going there and that's my alone time, I need to get away from everyone or the bedroom. Or the spare room, yeah. Nominate your area and just go there if you need some time away from everyone. So front footing it helps.

Now, because they can find you there, you go in the ceiling space or something. It makes it really hard to find. And it's always quite warm in the ceiling space. Yeah, right. Next, it's okay to admit you're struggling rather than lashing out at people. Maybe just say, hey, I'm not having a good day today.

Yeah. I'm feeling antsy. You know what? I'm feeling stressed. Everyone is in the same position. So I think everyone is going to relate to that. And we're not all going to have the same bad day. Yeah, true.

So, yeah, when Vaughn's annoying you specifically on one day, he's going to be like, I need my space. How the hell am I going to get space from you? Maybe I'll just turn around. And hear. Pretend you're not here. It's a limited time offer. You should enjoy it while it's here for the day.

Resolving conflict is a big thing. So, of course, you're going to have issues, but agree to chat about it and try and get it sorted early. Right. And then you can move on from it because you're not going to be able to run away from each early. Right. And then you can move on from it because you're not going to be able to run away from each other. Yeah.

So I think communication's the big overreaching. Overarching. Overarching. Overreaching. Underreaching. I tell you what, overreaching, that's a way to get over an argument.

Give them the old overreach. And just remember, your friends are always there for a Facebook message or a Skype or a FaceTime. FaceTime, yeah. And loads of numbers as well. You can call if you just want us to talk to someone anonymously.

You can text 1737 still. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Friday Flashback. Well, this song today came out in 1978. It is 41. Okay, I thought it was a little bit older than that. It is 41.

Well, this version, this song was actually written and shopped around for a couple of years until it was made famous. And at the time, it actually didn't chart that well around the world. Like in New Zealand, it was number 29, which is all right. It's not great. It was number one on the Hot Country Songs US Billboard. But in the US,

22 in the singles charts. In the UK, made it to 12. In Spain, Canada, it did alright. It was number six in the charts. So it's a cult hit. It wasn't massive at the time. Yeah, it's a cult hit. It's a slow burner. And you will hear this song in Da Club even now. And the reason I'm playing this song is because...

It's because everyone egged you on. You didn't want to make the call yourself. It's because he didn't want to. Oh, that little thing. Excuse me. It's not a banger. I've been on board with this from the start. Nonsense.

We lost... Everyone on the Facebook Live can attest that that's not true. We lost a legend this week. We did. We did. And have you guys seen the meme? Like the irony of Kenny Rogers dipping out? Yep.

Knowing when to fold him. Knowing when to run in the middle of a global pandemic. Yeah. Yep. Megan's absolutely shocked by that. I don't think we can laugh at that. Are we allowed to laugh at that? He would have wanted it that way.

He had a good run. He had a good run. He had a great run. He was 81 years old. Yeah. He did not look 81 years old. He was 81. He was 81.

81. I think he had a lot of work done. Right. Well, we did debate whether we'd play Islands in the Stream or The Gambler. And The Gambler won because it's a sing-along. And it's an absolute Friday sing-along. So pretend it's Friday night, not Friday morning. Yeah.

Is it him? On a train bound for nowhere I met up with a gambler We were both too tired to sleep So we took turns a-staring Out the window at the darkness the boredom overtook us and he began to speak he said son i've made a life out of reading people's faces and knowing what the cards were by the way they held their eyes So if you don't mind my saying I can see you're out of aces

For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice So I handed him my bottle And he drank down my last swallow Then he bombed a cigarette And asked me for a light And the night got deathly quiet And his face lost all expression Then he bombed a cigarette and asked me for a light. And the night got deathly quiet.

And his face lost all expression. Said if you're gonna play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it right. You got to know when to hold up. Know when to fold up. Know when to walk away. And know when to run. You never count your money. We'll be right back. Every gambler knows That the secret to surviving Is knowing what to throw away And knowing what to keep Cause every hand's a winner

And every hand's a loser And the best that you can hope for Is to die in your sleep And when he finished speaking He turned back toward the window, crushed out a cigarette, laid it off to sleep. And somewhere in the darkness, the gambler, he broke even. But in his final words, I found an ace that I could keep. You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run. You never count your money.

When you're sitting at the table, there'll be time enough to count them. When the deal is done, you got to got no when to hold, when to hold. No when to fold up, no when to walk away, and no when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done. You got no when to hold them, no when to fold them, no when to walk away, no when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table.

There'll be time enough for count when the deal is done. ZM, it's your Friday Flashback. Kenny Rogers, the gambler. Absolute banger. And we lost him this week. It was easy to miss in the news that at the start of the week, he died. Yeah. Passed away.

Last weekend. 81 years old. He'd been unwell for a little while. I didn't know that. Never know who's sick. It was quite the shock, was it? Quite the shock. Yeah.

To have lost him. Well, you know I'm a huge Dolly Parton fan. Yeah. He's like the Robin to her Batman. How was the feedback for my Friday flashback? Fantastic. Yeah, I knew it would be. I never doubted that song at all.

No, you didn't want to play it at six o'clock this morning. Never doubted it. No, you didn't. Smaller banger. People ain't like that. That's not what they need. That's not how I sound or what I said. No, really good.

Absolute banger. Finally, Fletch, finally. Someone said, oh, I sound better singing this after a few drinkies. No, you don't. You just think you do. Good. Good.

Now, we are now in that situation that we've got a pad for time, basically. And as you can tell, we're pretty good at it. We're all done. I don't know what to say. No, because we were supposed to be talking to the Prime Minister of the country, Jacinda Ardern, but obviously there's a lot going on, so she may be running slightly late. So it's a gamble.

So now we're like, do we move? It's a gamble. You got to know when to hold them. When to hold them. When to hold them. So do we pat and wait? Okay, here's a dilemma that we face right now. Lizzo, truth hurts, is two minutes 47.

Hit it. We could play it right now. Hit it. And then if the Prime Minister calls at the two minute 30 mark. No, we can cut Lizzo off. Do we have permission to cut her off? Well, we'll cut Lizzo off and then we'll start Lizzo again. Because we can't muck around.

Yeah, she's very busy. And then if she's busy or we don't talk to her, then we'll just have to come up with a plan B in the meantime. How long do we get Lizzo to play before we don't restart it? Like if she goes over halfway? Or if she's got 30 seconds left. We're not going to play it again. Well, we won't play it again.

What about a minute left? Well, what was the rule that they put for the Elton John concert? For my refund that I'll never get back. 70% of the concert. Did you see he's doing a live, he's doing a broadcast concert for COVID-19. Oh, you can watch that. See what you didn't see. Great.

That's the way we can get it. Okay, well, we've padded enough and it's not happening. We'll hopefully come back next. Oh, we've padded enough and it's not happening So we'll hopefully come back next Oh we padded too much and it's about to happen Oh No stop stop I told you we hadn't padded enough I just took off

I believe I believe the Prime Minister is just being Put through to us now Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Now, we just gave Kenny Rogers a round of applause, and I think you also deserve a round of applause because that is...

What a week. Oh, goodness, for everyone, for New Zealand. You always do this. You always make it all about everybody. We're trying to give you the compliment. That's why people like you, I suppose. I appreciate that. Not like me.

I'll pounce on any amount of attention I can get in any increment. I was going to say, that's what New Zealanders do though, isn't it? Okay, well, you're not going to take this compliment, but I just want to say that I'm very happy to have you as a leader as opposed to some of the other countries around the world.

So thank you so much for everything you've done for us so far. Oh, that's very kind. Thank you. But now it's total team effort now. Now we all need to be in it together. So this time last week, correct me if I'm wrong, but we didn't even have the official levels in place. No, I remember it would have been Wednesday last week

when we were really working through some of the different scenarios we needed to prepare for that. I just thought we've got to find a way that we can actually really simplify this down and turn this into, you know, share with the public some of the different choices we're going to have sure we were put at the level that we needed to be and then tell people that it could move quickly and it did. So how do you think people have done in the first 24 hours, the first day and a bit? Incredible. Given that we announced on Monday we were going to have to do this and then on Thursday, I walked out I walked outside and looked up around the streets and just thought this is incredible

people had followed exactly what we needed to do now it won't be perfect and I see the examples on social that everyone else does and it's going to take you know maybe a few more repeating of the bit more repeating of the messages and a bit of repetition. But to do that that quickly is pretty incredible. You know, we've never done this before. New Zealand's never shut itself down. Is it hard not to personally reply to people you see on social media that aren't following the rules properly? Oh, no, I do sometimes.

Oh, okay. Imagine getting told off by Jacinda personally. Yeah, well, actually, yeah, I just saw someone this morning I do sometimes. Oh, good. Imagine getting told off by Jacinda personally. Yes, that's what they know. Yeah. Well, actually, yeah, I just saw someone this morning. Because, you know, actually, it's a really good guide for me. You know, I obviously don't spend much time on there. But I do do a little check.

I do a little check of what's happening in my comments feed. I just see what people are worried about. It gives me a good idea of where we haven't got messages through very well or where people need to hear us repeat something. It really helps me. So I do scan. I just saw someone, though, saying that New Zealanders shouldn't necessarily get support in Australia

because do they get support if Australians are here in New Zealand? So I just corrected that, as you can imagine. Just cleared that up. We did ask our listeners for any questions for you this morning, and something that did come through quite a bit was from healthcare workers and from those people that have families working in healthcare. Will we get to a stage where everyone is wearing PPE, physical protective equipment, or throughout?

So our essential workers, our frontline health workers, absolutely should have access to PPE. And so we do have a lot of PPE in New Zealand. What I was checking in with our officials yesterday is are we distributing? Have we got that distribution right so that everyone in New Zealand who should be accessing it is? So you might have heard me a while ago talk about the 9 million masks, for instance, that we have ready for pandemics. We actually also, and this is fantastic, who knew, we have a surgical face mask factory in Whanganui. Oh wow.

And so they're churning them out and so that supply is good and we just need to make sure it's getting to the right places. You did a bit of a Q&A on your Facebook the other night. I think that put a lot of people's minds at ease. Do you think you'll be doing a Facebook Live home workout? That would require me to personally already be someone who works out at home. So, no, not my specialty area. No, I think that market's pretty well covered

It feels like it's very well covered We also had a lot of questions coming in about the working out and the and we spoke to the police commissioner earlier in the show just to get some clarity on that but I've actually had a text on my phone from my dad

Jacinda, he said, and I'll read this to you, Carl, it's your favourite dad. Could you please ask the Prime Minister if I can ride my bike down to Ngamutu Beach on the walkway? I haven't got any friends because you and your brother frightened them all away and I won't talk to anyone. But that would be approximately 10 kilometres.

What we've said to people is just keep it local. Keep it around the areas that are local to you. And probably what the police commissioner would have pointed out is all we don't want is people going on big road trips, people taking big journeys off to beaches that are, you know, outside of the kind of local area, because it's just reducing risk. So if you think about, think about it as if you've already got COVID-19,

think about every decision. If you get in your car and go on a big trip, you're going to need to fill up with gas. Now you're touching the handle of a fuel pump that someone else is going to use. If you break down, then you're calling someone from AA who's then going to be in contact with you. So just think about it like that.

That's the way we want people to think. What if the beach is local to you? Because there's a message that's come in on our Facebook Live that says, hey auntie, while you're on the phone, can you come to the mount and kick the cousins up the road bum? Because the beach was packed. Yeah, no, and that's

exactly the issue. Why are we saying keep it local? If something's in your local area and you're walking around it and that's fine, but if we have people congregating, that is a problem. No one wants to be Bondi Beach. I don't know if you saw those images. It was madness.

So people congregating. And if so, if you say to everyone, just, you know, go and do whatever, people will just congregate and we can't have that. You've got to stay apart from other people. If you have contact with people who aren't in your bubble, we could all end up in isolation for longer. So don't be that guy. What about another question coming through?

How do people report if they see a business that's open that they think isn't essential, like the Siggy factory yesterday or whatever, what can people do there? Yeah, so if you go onto the COVID-19 website, there's contact details for the Ministry for Business Innovation and Employment. They're basically the ones that are helping manage what's an essential service and what's not.

But we've kept it really simple. You might see there's been a bit of debate in Australia about their list. Our list is very simple. Basically, essential services are the things that help keep New Zealand safe and well while we're doing this. So police, security, making sure we still pick up rubbish and that your sewage and your water supply still works. Making sure that we support you to be at home so you can still eat. So getting to the grocery store and food supply. And we've included local dairies, but that's because there's usually one person running those and only one person can go on the shop at a time and then

it's keeping open whatever is helping us battle COVID-19 so people who are making surgical face masks and things like that. Well thank you for taking the time and there's I'm imagining there's not a lot of spare time where we appreciate you making the time to have a chat'm imagining there's not a lot of spare time where we appreciate you making the time to have a chat to us and inform the audience of where we're at no worries and look you guys it won't it won't always be perfect but the principle of just not having contact with anyone is actually a really simple one so good luck and we're all in it together I'm in a bubble as well just just like everyone else. But you'll still see me.

So if you still have questions and you're not, for instance, haven't seen your answers on the news, jump on my Facebook page, jump on my Instagram, just leave them there and I'll try and get to them. Awesome. Thanks so much. Look after yourself. Thanks, everyone. Look after yourselves.

Thank you. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A Tarnaki farmer has taken the bear hunt to the next level by making a teddy bear to spot out of, now I don't know what's inside these wrapped bales. Baelage? Hay? No, it's not hay.

You don't wrap hay. Oh, don't you? You wouldn't wrap the hay immediately. It looks like hay. You dry the hay. Yeah. I don't know how it works. You might stack the hay.

But if you were going to wrap it immediately, you'd be trying to make fermented grass. So for those that don't know, the bear hunt is just a way for, I guess, kids to have something to do during this lockdown. If you go out and get some exercise, people are putting teddy bears in their window. Short walk.

Yeah. Short walk from your home. Works well in suburban areas. I was wondering about this, though. How many people would be walking past his farm? I hope it doesn't encourage people to get out unnecessarily and go for a drive to see it. I'd hope not.

No, but you put bears. Did you put the Jigglypuff in your window? I forgot about it. Oh, my gosh. No, because I emptied my bag out this morning. I was like, why is there a Jigglypuff in my bag? And then I was like, oh, that's right. I'm going to stick Jigglypuff in the window. And. I'm going to stick Jigglypuff in the window.

And so I'm going to put Jigglypuff in the window today. Or you know what? You should sellotape him. I'm going to have to sellotape him. Do you have post-its? Yeah. Post-it notes? Yeah.

You should do that thing you should look up how to make. Because remember when office workers were making the 8-bit video game characters out of post-it notes and stick it in their window? You could do that. That's wasteful. Yeah, it's very wasteful. And also it's going to block my window space.

Jesus. Oh, sorry. You just started out. Just put the jigglypuff in the window. I'm just going to enjoy. I'm sellotaping the jigglypuff to the window

because it's up high. I'm in the apartment, so I'll just sellotape it to the window and that'll be enough. You're going to sellotape the jigglypuff to the window? Well, I can't put it

on the thing. People won't see it. If it's down low. Well, I mean, I did think about hanging him from a piece of string, but then that looks a bit more. That's something I can see, Tim. Hill. Yeah.

Hill. I hung my, well, I didn't hang him. I was just standing up on my window. Your teddy bear? The teddy bear. Do you know, as soon as I put it up, a little family walked past, and I could hear the. How little were they?

There was three or four of them. I mean, like, smaller numbers. Right. You cheeky bitch. That's three or four. That's an average family. Yeah, well, you'd just say a family walked past. I'd like to imagine a tiny, tiny people walked past.

There's no need to have a go about their height. Yeah. Whatever you want to imagine is fine. Well, I'm pretty sure they were only... Andrew Little's family walked past. They would have only been, like, little toddlers. Yeah, right. And it wasn't... I'd only just put it up and I heard them say,

there's another one. It's 27. So they saw 27 already in our neighborhood. Yeah, yeah. But it's so much fun. It's fun for me too. It's fun for everyone. Are kids going to want to keep doing this?

Or are you going to have to keep changing them? So here is my plea. Yeah, if you can't move where it is, you've got to change teddy bears. Because, you know. Or have it doing something different. Yeah, if you can't move where it is, you've got to change teddy bears. Because, you know. Or have it doing something different. Yeah, so I'm going to put my teddy bear on my, you know, those outdoor, what are they called?

Lamps, lantern thingies? You light them. What are they called? Torches. A ticky torch. A ticky torch on my deck. I was like,'m gonna put the Teddy on the tiki torch

It's like he's been Impaled by a tiki torch No And somebody's Climbing the tiki torch On TikTok It's like Somebody come get her

Because the kids Won't get it Ah Because the teddy bear Is on the pole Yeah It's good stuff Ah yeah

Good A pole dancing care bear Day two Well times are tough They care a little Yeah They only care If you're paying them Yeah That sort of care bear. Day two. Well, times are tough. They care a little. Yeah. They only care if you're paying them. Yeah.

That sort of care bear. Right. Okay. Well, yeah, I mean, if you've got a teddy bear around the house and you've got a... Put it in the window. Yeah, you live in a neighbourhood with a lot of kids around, chuck it in the window because, yeah, it's definitely, it's killing some time. Yeah.

Next on the show, the top six. No. Fact of the day. Oh, fact of the day. Top six happened like two hours ago. Bruh. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about chess. Chess. Okay. Lots of facts about chess. I need roughly know how to play. Like, shakmat. Shakmat? Means the king is dead.

Checkmate. Okay. Shakmat is... Yeah. Shakmat. From now on, when you're playing chess and you get a checkmate, don't say checkmate.

Say shockmatt. Shockmatt. That's checkmate. Because it just sounded like checkmate. Okay. So the other, today's fact of the day about chess is, because I was thinking

this would be a good time. Do you guys know how to play chess? No. Yeah, roughly. Do you know what each individual player does? The horse goes in an L movement. The horse goes in an L. Correct.

The queen. Does whatever she wants. Does whatever she wants. She's like diagonal. This way, that way, that way. The pawnbrokers sell your watch. Yeah, they do. And then if you have a good day at the casino, you can go back and get that.

No, they just move forward, don't they? Yeah. No. Yes, but no. Diagonal? The pawns go. Don't they go diagonal? I don't know.

The bishop goes diagonal. The horse goes owl shapes. The dude right on the end, the knight, the rook, he can go straight. That's pretty much everybody. And the game is always boring. The bishop went missing after those allegations. He got sent to another game somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's a confusing game. He popped up in the game of life and I tell you what, it's just going to happen again. Yeah. But today's fact of the day is chess is played at least once a year by 12% of British people, 15% of Americans, 15% of Americans, 23% of Germans, 43% of Russians, and 70% of Indian people will play at least

one game of chess a year. Really? When was the last time you had a game of chess? Never. You've never had a proper game? A little bit, but ages ago. Do you remember that time we were in the Octagon in Dunedin and I beat Chang in seven moves? Yeah. But then I mean, that's not amazing. amazing no because he touted himself as a little bit of a a chess guy and I was like I think we just go after the stereotype there that every every Asian guy

he told me he no he touted himself I didn't tout him I didn't tout him I didn't judge him okay yeah and then I we started playing and I was like, huh, I think, shock my heart. I know, because I went to night and day to get a slice and by the time I came back, the game was over. And I was reveling in victory, wasn't I? And I was reveling in that Belgium slice. Yes, you were.

And then immediately I was like, as great as this victory is, immediately I felt like I should have just gone for the Belgian slice. Yeah, I know. That's probably why Kiwis don't play as much chess as Indian people because I don't even know if Belgian slices are available in New Delhi. I don't believe so. I don't know. Because they've got their own range of sweets.

Oh, they do, yeah. Delicious sweets. Yeah. Have you ever been into an Indian-specific sweet shop? Oh, yeah. It's just sweets. Yeah. Have you ever been into an Indian-specific sweet shop? Oh, yeah. It's really yum. I couldn't follow up a creamy curry with that much. I would be the size of a house.

Let alone the carbohydrates involved in rice, because who's having that without a naan? A madman or a woman? Always have a naan. Always have a naan. I'd have a butter chicken without even the chicken. Just dip the naan in the sauce and I'd be happy. Don't even give me the rice.

You just want straight sauce. Absolutely. And naan. Just drink it like a soup. Oh, my God. How? Because I can't have that now, can I? Oh, you can get it from the supermarket.

You can make your own. I feel like it's not the same. You can make it from absolute scratch. You got time. Okay. You do have time. I don't know. To become the size of a house.

Yeah, you could look into the exact ingredients. Okay. But today's fact of the day is 70% of India's population play at least one game of chess a year. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. God, somebody on the live stream just asked, what are Belgium slices? Unbelievable.

You're not talking about Belgian biscuit is a hard biscuit. It's more of a biscuity texture. The slice, greater than the biscuit. But yeah, very similar icings and texture. And Fletch is good at making Belgian biscuits. Yeah. Hilary Barry's doing a 10am scone live. You should do a... A scone? She's doing scones at 10am on her live. Okay.

You should go live with Belgian biscuits. Well, I don't want to... Yeah, I'll wait for a few minutes. Don't go up against... No, no, I mean... Hilary is. No, shit, no. Yeah, no. Okay.

Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. I received an email yesterday from the gym. Because, of course, I'd kind of forgotten. Like, I'd stopped going. But then it kind of dawned on me when I got this email. Oh, yeah, I would have had to pay. You're not talking about gym hockey, are you?

Oh, my God. Can you quit I would have had to pay. You're not talking about Jim Hickey, are you? Oh my god, can you quit with the dad jokes? Wow. I just thought you were talking about that you'd subscribe to some sort of Jim Hickey fanmailer. Yeah, yeah. $15 a month. No, no. So in the email they've said they're pausing

the next four weeks of lockdown payments. So there'll be no payments for four weeks. Okay. You're saying you forgot that you're paying for it, but that's like what most people do.

Pay and don't go. This is true. Yeah. But yeah, I just kind of thought, yeah, I mean, I hadn't even thought about it. But yeah, they're obviously shut, so they can't provide a service,

so they can't really charge you, can they? Yeah, because I paused mine only just before they paused it just for everyone. Yeah, right. But I spoke to my best friend about her gym. Now, she goes to a small, like a local gym. Right. And they are not pausing people's memberships.

So I don't know what the legality of that is because they're not allowed to go. It's not open. Yeah. They're not providing a service. Like you feel for all these businesses at the moment, like they don't have an income. The whole situation is horrible.

On the other side of things, yeah, you think about them and they're paying for the facility and they've literally got no income coming in. Yeah. It doesn't make that legal because that doesn't mean that all those people who are then paying for a service that they're not getting should have to pay for it.

Oh man, yeah, it's so crazy. Because you've still got a gym membership? Yes. What have you done? For a start, I didn't like the tone in which you asked that. That was yesterday. The other day I put up a video, Indie time, and she was on her bike on a skateboard.

I said, she's doing some resistance training, towing 90 kgs of dead, and someone said, 90 kgs. I know. Who said that? Yeah, well, I don't remember their name. I've got it screen capped because I'm going to burn their house down when I'm allowed to go out again. But, yeah, I've got it screen capped because I'm going to burn their house down when I'm allowed to go out again. But, yeah, I've got a gym membership, but they paused it.

Oh, they did? Same gym people, right? Yeah, they emailed saying, yeah, we'll be pausing the payments. But as you say, like, how long is that a viable option? How are they going to pay for things? Yeah, and are they going to give away the rowing machines? Oh, that would be the last thing I'd get. And then everyone else can just do terrible technique at home,

not cycling crazy. Imagine if your neighbour got given a rowing machine. How horrible would that be? Like at least the cycle's like... Yeah, it's constant. Consistent, yeah. Or like a treadmill's like... Yeah, it's constant. Consistent, yeah. Or like a treadmill.

It's like a... Just reading some interesting stats in New Zealand of all of the COVID cases. People in their 20s and in their 50s are the highest. Actually tied at the highest. People in their 20s? People in their 20s. And this also relates, in Australia, females in their 20s are the highest cases of coronavirus. We're socialising.

Because they ignored the please not to socialise. They did. Well, Australians were at Bondi Beach packed at the weekend. It's nuts. So this is why we're having to self-isolate.

Stay at home. Do not socialise with people outside of your bubble because that is when we risk it. And if you are going to go outside to the supermarket, hand sanitise. Don't touch your face

because you're going to be touching trolleys and wash your hands. Cans and packets and stuff. Yeah, don't touch your face because you're going to be touching trolleys and cans and packets and stuff. Yeah, don't touch your face. Wash your hands straight away and if you can take a hand sanitiser, do that. And then we can get through this and we won't have to be locked up because after a day,

I think we've all realised this is going to be pretty tough. Yeah. And if we all obey the rules, it's going to be over quicker than if we just flout them. All right? Now, to rally the nation behind a cause. To finish the show.

Should we say what we're planning on next week? Finish the show. Should we give that a little bit of a tease? What are we planning? It's a week after, isn't it? I thought it was next week. No, it's... Let me check the commander.

Is it actually going into the... No, I think we should tell people, give them something to look forward to. It's on the... It'll be the 9th, and it's should tell people, give them something to look forward to. It's on the... It'll be the 9th and it's the 27th today, so it'll be two weeks. It'll be a week next Thursday that we do it. Oh, okay, so it's two weeks away. It's two weeks away. Going because we're going to make it an official.

Yeah. So we're not saying? I think we do. Well, we were going to have to cancel the long weekend group two. Exactly. Because there's no traffic. We were going to have to cancel it. Why cancel when you can adapt? Yeah. The long weekend group toot. Exactly. Because there's no traffic. But. We were going to have to cancel it. Why cancel when you can adapt?

Yeah. The quarantine weekend group toot. The driveway group toot. Yeah. Yeah. Where you park in your driveway and toot and then see who in your neighbourhood is also listening. Brilliant.

And gets involved in the quarantine group toot. Well, we're going to accept toot toot. Back. As in yelling? Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. We'll accept what we can in these testing times.

Now, I thought the version of the anthem we're going to play today, especially if you're getting the nation to rally round, I thought the version I'd found was the version way back in the day when TV didn't broadcast 24-7. At the start of the transmission broadcast day, TVNZ played this amazing clip, and the New Zealand national anthem was the backing. Really?

When you see it, you'll be like, I just had these flashbacks to being like a kid and waking up really early and sneaking into the lounge and turning on the TV and just waiting for it to click in. We're not that old. We don't get that reference. This was like after 1988 because this song was recorded in 1988.

You were 14. I was not. I was not. So I thought. I was a toddler. Now I'm going to try to find a clean broadcastable version of this national anthem for our ongoing just before nine o'clock national anthems every day. Because you listen to this, the version that they had in that TVNZ start of the broadcast

day had Annie Crummer, the Party of Maldi Club, Delvanius, and they were backed by the New Zealand Youth Jazz Orchestra who were probably all in their 40s and 50s by now. We should play that great big melting pot song too just one day because that's cool. Yeah, that's a good one. We need more of those.

What we need is a great big melting pot. Big enough to take the world and all it's got. Staring for a hundred years or more. Stop singing. I'm definitely Annie Crummer. A lot of radio shows have taken to singing during this crisis and we don't need to do that. That's what we learnt when we were at Broadcasting School.

You don't sing. No, that's what the artists are there for. We learnt a lot of things at Broadcasting School since going out the window. But I thought I had that version. I will endeavour to find a good high quality of that version. I thought you were teasing it because you had it. No, no, I've got Dennis Marsh's version.

Okay. From the album Dennis Marsh Out of New Zealand. Okay. He sung other songs on this album such as Hungry Tonight and Kia Ora, The Bridge, Blue Darling. Are those on Spotify? Yes, it is. in this album such as hungy tonight and um kilda the bridge blue darling but uh spotify yes it is so you can listen to honey tonight on spotify should you want a little taster of honey please yes pretty sure it won't have any swear words in it oh jazzy let's fast forward to like this is his most listened to song. Really? Is it? Yeah.

I've heard this. I've definitely heard this. Yeah, it rings a bell. It's like a school song, right? Yeah. What are you doing? Oh, my family's trying to steal my Spotify from home. Bugger off. This is what they do because mine's logged into the Alexa

and so the kids right now will be yelling, Alexa, play this. Whatever, yeah, right. Okay. We can't have into the Alexa. And so the kids right now will be yelling, Alexa, play this. Whatever. Yeah, right. Okay. We can't have the national anthem. We can't have it. See, they've done it again. Hold on.

I'm just going to ring them. Ring them up. Sorry, everybody. Hold on just a minute. Ring them on speakerphone. Yep. Can you? See, they've done it again.

What are they playing? The remote controlling. Sunday Best by Surfaces. They love this song. Is it a TikTok song? I've definitely heard it before okay we'll turn this off let's have a listen in this is all she's not expecting this she won't like this no she's not even she might be having a shower it might be the kids in charge

can you ring them do you have a home phone home phone? Do they answer the home phone? Have you reached Shaddy? Yep. I haven't reached. Stop touching it. Stop touching it. Well, there's nothing coming through now. Is this the national anthem? This is the New Zealand national anthem.

Okay. If it switches to another song. Thank you. God of nations, at thy feet In the palms of love we meet Hear our voices, we entreat God defend our free land God pass in this tremulous time From the shadows of time and more Make good raises, turn upon And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. And more.

And more. And more. And more. And more. And more. Strong finish. Strong finish, everybody. New Zealand, on your feet. Strong finish. Strong finish, everybody. New Zealand on your feet. Strong finish.

Oh, yes. Brilliant. Oh, so I see your wife just joined the live feed, so she must have... She must have known. You're going to have the Spotify back, girl. Should have been listening to the bloody radio oh that's just the

what's happening that's not me that's you ha ha finish the week on that high note of Fletch telling me I had him

muted my computer and it was him ha ha ha Fletch Fletch, Fawn and Megan the podcast

if you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen tooan and Megan The Podcast If you enjoyed this podcast why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts Head music lives here ZM