ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 30th 2020

Episode Date: March 29, 2020

Internet Stats from Friday  Early Morning Essentials  Quinn from The Bachelorette  Fletch found a Gentlemans ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Flesh, Fauna, Megan. The podcast. As Megan just said off air, wow, this hasn't even been a week. We're not only a week on Thursday. No, Wednesday. Yeah, end of, no, well, Thursday officially wasn't locked out. Oh yeah, sorry, Thursday. End of Wednesday. And it was what, this time last week, we just learnt on the Sunday about the levels.

And we're at a level two. Do you remember that? Yeah. Feels like three weeks ago. It's not. It's a week ago. That was a week ago. That was a week ago.

I wonder if we'll get a level one on the way back down. I feel like we haven't had a level one. Just skip one. Yeah, we skip one. We'll go back down them, mate. Yeah, we will. Yeah. Eventually.

Yeah. Wonderful. If we are isolating. If we're playing back down them, mate. Yeah, we will. Yeah. Eventually. Yeah. Wonderful. If we are isolating. If we're playing by the rules, baby. It's not that hard. Did you see the news last night? People were caught having bonfires.

There were people having parties. Yeah. Come on. Bonfires are all right if you're just bonfiring in your bubble, right? No, because it means that fire services have to come out. Okay, okay. Did you see our friend Matt in Australia with the people that had to rescue the people that went out on the boat? So this boat, they were at a beach.

Because, you know, Sydney's a bit loose. I mean, they've said to stay in your bubble, but it's not like here. No, no, it's not as a lot of games here. So a friend was at the beach, and there was a family that came in with a boat, and they got stuck. And so all these strangers on the beach had to push the boat out. They were right next to each other. Oh, God.

Proving the point, that's why you don't go out on a boat, because you might need help being rescued. Yeah. I saw lots of people partaking in water sports at the weekend. Yeah. It's not good. I mean, technically you are in your bubble, but it's when you need to be rescued or then people have to put their lives at risk.

Or if you're out touching public areas. If you're touching things and then you're going home and you're staying in your bubble, but then someone else is going to go touch the things that you've just touched. That's what... It's the whole playground point. Yeah, yeah, you see the playgrounds. Playgrounds have got little laminated signs on them saying, you know, you can walk around the park, but don't play in the playground.

All the ones I've seen have got, like, emergency tape around them. Yeah. So you can't... Although I saw on our old neighbourhood's Facebook page that someone was like, maybe we could use them if everyone just agrees to wipe them down. Afterwards. No. I know, because I think the inability of humans to do that sort of thing is probably what led to this.

Because I saw people sitting on park seats and, like, holding railings. They were still too, you know, they were keeping their distance. But I was like, you're still touching things. Yuck. Yeah. So I think we're going to get told off this week. I reckon it'll be. Do you reckon you're going to get told off?

How long before we get an actual simple instructions. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. MedFet UK tweeted and if you don't know who they are. MedFet. Medical something. Federation.

Medical Fetish UK. Oh right, okay. So they tweeted, today we donated our entire stock of disposable scrubs to an NHS hospital. It was just a few sets because we don't carry large stocks, but they were desperate. Because we'd sullied the rest.

So we sent them free of charge. We don't usually do politics on Twitter, but here's a short thread. All right. They had a few. They were in need. And obviously the ones that they hadn't used yet. Well, that's good because it was that story last week

that Grey's Anatomy and all those American shows that have boxes and boxes of, I guess, actual medical props. I know, you just assume that it's just like costumes, eh? Yeah, I guess you... Someone's just made a silly costume, but they had actual scrubs. Yeah, and you'd think that they'd just reuse them, but then you couldn't reuse a face mask even on a TV show, could you? So, yeah, they've just got boxes and they've all been donated to the cause.

And they said they're just a tiny company that... Tiny company. That's what a tiny company is called, a company. We're just a growing company And they serve a small section of the kink community Right But we've found ourselves to be somewhat of a supplier to the NHS Are they the same kind of uniforms?

Or are they like, you know, when you see those naughty nurse outfits? I think so It's not those No, see that's what I imagined. Yeah, right. But they're actual. You don't want your ass hanging out. Those, like, sky blue, thick scrub.

Well, everybody else has done it now. Balls in your court, peaches and cream. Get your naughty nurse outfits, probably. I don't think we need naughty nurses. I don't think the Satisfy Pro Tour is going to do anything. The nurses need their bums covered. Could you imagine if it gets that dire, that a naughty nurse comes in if you're in the hospital? No, because a t-shirt would be better.

A white thing with a red cross on their boobs. In all seriousness, though, the blood service, while we're talking about naughty nurses, do require healthy people to donate blood during this time. So you are still allowed to donate blood. Well, that's good. But you have to... Well, yeah, they're asking donors to be fit and healthy,

to be eligible to give the blood. And, yeah, I guess obviously checking that you're not unwell, like no coughs and cold, kind of flu symptoms. Shouldn't be going out anyway if that's the case. Call them and make an appointment to make sure you're not. Yeah, so I'd call them. He said there's no, the head of the blood service said there's no blood shortage at present,

but I'm guessing they're just kind of wanting to keep your head because nobody's going out. They're probably thinking, well, we can't donate blood during this time. But if you normally donate blood, it could be just a good way to get out. Well, it's deemed essential travel. Yeah, if you're not feeling unwell, then that's something you could definitely look into. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Well, we spoke just the other day about how we'd broken a new internet record in New Zealand, but we've done it again and Friday, Friday night, while we were all stuck at home on level four lockdown, what were you doing Friday? I was definitely watching Netflix. I was watching Tiger King.

Yes, so was I. I was watching Tiger King. I think we were finishing The Outsider. We've started Tiger King. Oh, have you finished Outsider? Yeah. God, that's good. Did you like it? The final? Yeah. It's good, eh? Not happy? It. God, that's good. Did you like it? The final? Yeah. It's good, eh? Not happy?

It's like any Stephen King book. The story's always better than the end. Yeah. Yeah. But the end was alright. Much better than other Stephen King. Yeah, that's on the

Outsider. Very good. They've definitely left it open for a second season. Of course they have. Yes, very much so. Yeah, because I walked away when the credits started playing

but then Sade's like, come back, there's something happening. So the Chorus network, so that's the network that supplies all the internet companies with your internet. The network peaked at 3.03 terabytes per second, terabits per second.

So that was up 33% from normal usage. Now the new record, well, the previous record was Thursday's record of 2.84 terabits per second. When we talked about breaking that first record, isn't the maximum around 3 point something? It is. So we are very close to the maximum capacity of our internet. Yes, push it out. No, but that's what's leading people to say that. Don't push it out.

That's what is leading people to say that now we might get into a dangerous territory of allowing internet providers to choose what websites... Prioritise. Yeah, what is prioritised? Like, you know, for your browsers or for your streaming, certain sites. What was that called?

There was a big thing about this in America, right? Yeah, there was a big thing in America. It is called... They're paying for it and then the bigger ones get better speeds because they're paying for priority. What was this called? What was it called? Yeah, I read another article that did talk about that.

Net neutrality? Yes. Is that what that's called? Yeah. One of the big issues they're saying is that Friday internet traffic was caused

by a Call of Duty update to the popular game that everyone... It was. It came out on Friday so everyone's like, download. And there were always

mega updates because if you've been following my journey, I started downloading that and it said it was going to take five days. Yep. That's not happening. It was going to take five days. Yep. That's not happening.

It's taking longer than five days. Why don't you just bring it in and I'll do it at mine and then bring it back? Okay. Are you still trying to download Call of Duty? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's still taking longer.

Just bring it in. We'll use the work Wi-Fi. No one's at work. The work Wi-Fi won't work. Oh, why not? I think we tried connecting a PlayStation to the work. They're on to us. That probably opened it up. We were some of the only people here.

So we worked out what the other day, a terabit... How do you spell in that? Because these are two different things as well. T-E-R-A-B-I-T. B-I-T. T-B-P-S. Yeah. Because one terabit is equal to 0.125 terabytes. Oh, okay.

So a terabit is bigger than a terabyte. Because we worked out one terabyte. Terabit? Terabyte. We worked out a terabyte was a thousand hours of high quality television. Hey, look, I can't remember now. Because it was a gigabyte.

I don't know if it's a gigabyte. Oh, God, yeah, okay. Are you saying a mass or wrong? Well, we've got to do another calculation. But there's bigger ones too. Do you want to know what the bigger ones are called? Megabyte. Oh, no, that's a very small one.

That's already a white and that's already... Famously a very small one. A petabyte. Oh, I've heard that one before. Exabyte. Oh, that sounds massive. Zettabyte. Or yottabyte. Oh, yeah. Is yottabyte. Exabyte? Oh, that sounds massive. Zettabyte? Or Yottabyte?

Oh, yeah. Is Yottabyte the biggest one? It sounds like it. Have you ever seen that picture of those scientists or IT nerds loading that massive computer-y thing onto a plane? It's a real old photo. And then the caption under it's like, this is 64 megabytes of computing power.

And you're just like, oh, my God, I've got a USB stick that's bigger than that. And it fits in my pocket. If you've got a USB that big now you'd be like what am I going to put on here this is useless. You'd literally get nothing on it. Half of a word document. But yeah we're binging, we're using a lot of internet traffic

but if we keep this up we're probably going to hit the ceiling and then some stuff's going to be throttled back. Okay. Like my download, like my call to duty download. Yeah my Call of Duty download. Yeah, that you're still downloading. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. So, in Britain, they seem to be having a similar issue here. Lots of people wondering about. Because they're all on lockdown as well, aren't they? They have been for a while. They've really stepped up their lockdown in the last day. I think it's like a 5,000 pound fine. Wow. That will be issued on the spot.

What is it here? The fine? $250? Don't know. Because yeah, a friend is currently in Canada. Said it's a thousand Canadian. Right. If you're caught out.

I think we need to up it here. Well, and even he said, if you're with someone, even from your bubble or whatever, you've got to be two metres apart. Like, couples holding hands, you get a fine. Oh, wow. Yeah, so it's full on. Couples holding hands? But what if they're in each other's bubbles?

Well, yeah, that's exactly. But no, he just said you've got to be real careful there. Wow. So, I mean, that's just what he'd encountered. Okay, well, the British police force, this is a rural British Police Force. Yeah. In a town called Derbyshire. There is a quarry.

It's an old quarry that's not used anymore. But it has a massive hole that fills up with water. Now, it looks like a blue lagoon. In fact, that's what the locals call it, a blue lagoon. Oh, it looks like the blue, like what's that putara do? The beautiful. Oh, the blue springs there. The blue springs.

It looks like that. It looks beautiful. So it's bright turquoise. And the reason it's bright turquoise is because it's filled with chemicals from the rocks. Right. So it's not a natural lake and you wouldn't go swimming in there. Right. But lots of people go there to take photos because it looks beautiful.

Oh, it's very grammable. Like just looking at the photos there, very grammable. Right. But lots of people go there to take photos because it looks beautiful. Oh, it's very grammable. Like, just looking at the photos there, very grammable. Yeah. So, in order to keep everyone away from taking photos and going walking around this quarry, they have put black dye in it. So, initially, it was just

swirled about. It looked like heaps of squid had gone in and been like... Yeah. Oh, wow. But then... It's massive. Oh, it's huge. But then there was posts on the police Facebook page being like, you've made it worse

because now people want to go take photos of what you've done. But then a reporter has since been and said that it is all black now. They've put heaps of dye in there. It's completely black. And so no one's going to look at it anymore. Although a matte black

all matte black could look pretty cool. I know now I'm like I want to go see that. Yeah but we're not. They may have failed. Yep. Oh it's pH it's pH is 11.3 Now is that really? Is that kind of take the

stitching off your... Now, it's togs? That's alkaline, eh? Right. The lower it is, the more acidic it is. But the higher it is, is the more... So... It wouldn't be good for your skin, I wouldn't think.

No. Right. No. Yeah. What about some of the geothermal, like, you know, the hot river, like Kerosene Creek? What would that pH of Kerosene Creek be? Yeah, like, is that bad?

Like, your togs always smell a bit funky after that. Yeah, but that's like the sulfur-y bits, eh? Yeah, yeah. I don't think it's, no, it obviously isn't too bad, because otherwise you'd be getting out of there and you'd be bleached white. Get out of Kerosene Creek, you're like, oh, my God. All the hair on my body's gone.

Porcelain white. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Condom shortage. International. So, no condoms equals no hanky-panky. If you don't want a baby.

Now, maybe you do. Get in there. But then a lot of people have been, you know, isolated, apart. So, that problem's solved, isn't it? Unless you're going to break the rules. Don't break the rules. Which we don't need because we don't. Three days. How long has it been? Three days? Four days? This is day five. Day five. Yeah. Unless you're going to break the rules. Don't break the rules. Which we don't need because we don't...

Three day... How long has it been? Three day, four days? This is day five. Day five. Five days. It's been long enough. If I find out that we have to stay in our houses two weeks longer because you couldn't just play with yourself like everybody else,

then, yeah. I'll be very upset. So the top six ways to kill the mood because there's a condom shortage. Number six, ask them if they've heard from their hottest friend lately. Now, not by the title hottest friend. You just ask by their name. Yeah, right. Okay.

Yeah. Just trying to think of a name I can use that's not going to get me in trouble. Not that one. Let's just say Dolores Okay yeah So you'd say Have you heard from Dolores lately? Like out of the blue

Yeah Out of the blue When you're about to engage in sexy times Well if you can feel it's on the horizon Yeah right okay And they'll be like Why? And you'll be like

I don't know I was just thinking About her And then that's it That's it Not only are you not going to engage in sexy time, you're going one way train

to divorce Phil. That's a long deterrent that one. Yeah, that'll give you at least three or four days with no condom usage. I was thinking a week.

Yeah, okay, great. An easy week. Does it work the other way around? What if I said... Like if you said to Mr. Toyboy, what's Ronaldo up to?

Probably. Have you heard from him? Hey. Why are you talking about Ronaldo right now? Yeah, you've got to do it out of the blue. Yeah. You've got to do it out of the blue. Yeah.

When they're in a really good mood. Why are you thinking about Ronaldo? Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? What made you think about Ronaldo? No, just... There you go.

Problem solved. And then you're in more trouble because it's a completely baseless reason for asking. Brilliant. Number five on the list of the top six ways to kill the mood because there's a condom shortage. Ask them if they think they could take this time in isolation to learn how to do a household task properly. Is that close to home, that one? Oh, this has worked both ways.

Right, okay. Stack in the dishwasher. Yep, that was a ripper. But I've also been, so that was when I said to Sade, and she said, well, maybe you can take the time to learn how to wipe the bench properly. I said I know how to wipe the bench. I know how to wipe the bench. Yeah.

I'm a great bench wiper. Again, condom not needed. Not needed. No. Not needed. Number four a great bench one. Again, condom not needed. Not needed. No. Not needed. Number four on the list now. I'm putting this at number four even though it's an absolute number one. I'm just nestling it at number four.

Okay. Because this one's very dangerous to play with. Okay. Top six ways to kill the mood because of your condom shortage. Number four. Ask them if they've heard about the quarantine 15. Oh! This is the weight

we're all expected to put on while in quarantine because we're all eating bread. 15 kgs! No, I think it's 15 pounds. Oh, right. How much?

Six? Six and a half. Oh, yeah, that's doable. That's doable. I mean, hey, I'm all for it. I think 15 kgs is possible. It's like the Heathrow injection that all the Kiwis get when they move to London.

The OE, what do they call it? The OE 15 or the OE 10 or whatever it is. Not aimed at anybody. Yeah. When you ask about if they've heard about the quarantine 15, just ask. Wow. Who? You're not getting any.

No. Possibly forever, too. So that's, like I said, that's playing with fire. You've got're not getting any. No. Possibly forever too. So that's, like I said, that's playing with fire. You've got to be careful with that one. Number three on the list of the top six ways to kill the mood because there's a condom shortage. Stop showering. Keep washing your hands.

Keep washing your hands. Yeah. Always wash your hands. Maybe right up to the elbows. Yeah. But just stop showering. Yeah. Yeah.

You know that stink? Mankey. You know that stink you get when you're not doing anything, when you're just sitting around? Oh, gross. You know that? Yeah, you end up smelling like a bag of rations. Yeah. Yeah. You know that stink you get when you're not doing anything when you're just sitting around? Oh, crap. Yeah, you end up smelling like a bag

of rations. Yeah. Yeah, everyone's got their own stink. But if you don't like, workout stink smells

different. It smells like you've done something and it smells like you've worked and you've sweated and now you stink.

But when you just laze about in your own filth, you get a different sort of stink. And it's real yuck. Real yuck. Number two on the list of the top six ways to kill the mood because there's a condom shortage. Remember that thing that you're constantly told not to do?

Yeah. Do it. For me, it's this. Oh, my God. That would be so annoying. Yeah. It's like ear flossing your teeth. That's how I make sure there's nothing caught between my teeth

is I go through each individual gap, blowing a little bit of air through it. And she can't divorce you for at least three and a bit weeks. No, no, let's see her get into more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more.

Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more.

Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Or maybe more. Yeah.

Is birth test marriages open? I'd say it would be. Is that an essential service? You've still got a register. Also, if this drags on till June, I've got to renew my driver's licence. How am I going to do that? Well, you're not driving anywhere. What happens if someone's driver's licence expires?

They'll just... Then that'd be pretty understanding, wouldn't it? Yeah, right. But insurance wouldn't be. Todd, our friend Todd got a... Did you say he got asked? Oh, my God, I know. Which is a real shame because he had that beautiful afro.

He's got an afro. I know. I'm like, can you please use your last old photo? It says that the Department of Internal Affairs Birth, Sex and Marriages is open. I mean, who's going to renew their passport? Yeah, you've got to exactly drive there to do it. And number one on the list of the top six ways to kill the mood

because there's a condom shortage, cough. Yeah. It's insensitive but very insensitive are you guys watching like netflix and videos online and then because they recorded previous in a different world people like go to kiss and hug and i'm like no social distancing what are you doing well someone's coughing and you're like yeah an ad came up before for ird on a video i was about to watch, and the guy put his fingers into a tempered bowling ball.

I was like, no. What are you doing? It's a petri dish. It's in the COVID heights. Yeah, in the ball holes. It was like Dancing with the Stars has been cancelled. Yeah. Cancelled.

Yeah. But can you imagine watching, like, two sweaty people rubbing on each other that other that like maybe aren't in each other's bubbles? Oh, no, no, no. No, get me. It's not happening. Trigger me. Trigger me. Wash your hands.

That's today's Top 6. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Early morning essentials. Not really a game. We just want to hear from a different member, a different part of the Essentials team,

helping our country through this tough time. Somebody asked why we're using Shake Your Towel Feather by Nelly and Puff Daddy in the background. I think it was primarily because of that little siren sound, right? Yeah, yeah. And the police are an early morning essential. They are. They're an essential service.

They are. They haven't been spun up yet, though. We spun up farmers last time who have continued to... No, I didn't have it, mate. Didn't you have the... The digital wheel. You had the digital... You had the randomiser last time

to spin up the essential service. Do you remember that? I thought the randomiser was a computer program that I could find if I was given enough time, if everybody could just stall momentarily and then I could open it up. I thought you had it on your computer, but I guess not. Here we go.

We spin up. Is an ad going to play before this? Here we go. Here we go. The randomiser. Last week it spun up Farmers. Full of all the industries deemed essential. What a pleasant sound that week.

It is. It reminds me of the Cassie. Remember the Cassie? Oh. Just chuck a 20 in there and lose it all. Nice with the days. Sometimes got some free games. That was nice.

Not an essential service. No, not at all. This one we want to hear from nurses. Maybe you're just finishing a shift. Maybe you're about to start a shift. Maybe it's your day off. A well-deserved day off, but you've woken up because shift work's messed with your body clock.

You're up. You're essential. It's early morning essentials, and this morning on the completely real, not fictitious randomiser. Oh, yeah. We randomised up nurses. We heard from our early morning essential farmers last week.

Yes, we did. A lot of rotary cow sheds out there. You guys still don't really know what that means, but that's fine. But this morning, it's nurses. Yep, that's right. It's nurses, and Jess has called in. Good morning, Jess. Good morning, guys.

Well, first of all, yes. Thank you for your service. No probs. How crazy is it at the moment for you? Because what kind of nursing do you, what's your kind of area? I'm an emergency department nurse. Oh, wow. Okay.

Yeah. Wow. So, I mean, how has the game changed for you in the last few weeks? It's been pretty crazy. A lot of, like, kind of planning work and things going on but funnily enough our kind of like volume in the ED have dropped off

quite a bit since last week so I'm not sure if it's maybe people are a bit afraid of coming to the hospital or what's going on

but yeah. So I think it's kind of a calm before the storm. If there's kids I've constantly been yelling at my children don't hurt yourselves

because can you imagine going to a hospital at the moment? I know. Yeah I saw someone at the weekend say, don't do stupid shit that'll end up getting you in hospital. Yeah, that's why we're supposed to be isolating and chilling out. Also, people aren't getting drunk and hurting themselves, Jess.

Yeah, that's a bonus, actually. My husband's a paramedic, so he's finding the same thing. Wow. And so do you guys have to, are you guys isolating separately? Because a lot of, like, medical, but you'd be both staying together? Yeah, so we're staying together, but we've both had possible exposures to COVID, although both of them turned out to be negative. So we then had to kind of self-isolate in our own house from each other for a day or two until I got to that.

Why is that? Is that just like you'd each take a room? Yeah, kind of thing. And like you're trying to keep your cutlery and plates and glasses and things separate. Wow. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So like from working in a hospital at this time, what can you say to people? What would be some advice?

Wash your hands. Wash your hands. Wash your hands and stay home, please. But if you do need to come to the hospital, we're always here. We can still look after you. So please, you know, don't think that you can't come to the hospital. Okay, say someone's friend or family member does hurt themselves when they're on isolation and they have to go to the emergency department,

which is a little bit, like, freaky at the moment. I mean, freaky any time if you've got a bone poking out of your arm. But how would you advise them to approach the situation? Well, our emergency department and most of them around the country are screening everybody that comes to the doors, so whether you come by ambulance or walk up, you'll get screened anyway, and

if you have any kind of symptoms that might tell us that you could possibly be harbouring some COVID, we'll be giving you a mask and getting you to wash your hands and things anyway, so we'll be checking that once you get there anyway. So what does the screening involve? A temperature test or? So we do pre-screening with a form from the Ministry of Health

and it's mainly asking questions about symptoms and about travel history and contact history. And then you'll get kind of temperature and your observations done with the triage nurse. And then from there, we'll kind of figure out where to put you in our department because we're trying to keep people who might possibly have COVID separate from everybody else. Right. Wow. Yeah.

So interesting. Thank you for sharing that. And just thank you for doing the job. Oh look, no worries. My first year of nursing coincided with the last pandemic so this is kind of weird that this has happened again. Wow, yes.

That's crazy that you've experienced her now. And you stuck with it after the first round. Hats off to you. Well, thank you for being part of Early Morning Essentials. We want to talk about what you've become over the four days of quarantine so far.

A shell of my former self. Oh, whoa. Just a fat slob. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, I mean, yes, but these go without saying. Yeah, of course. I mean, what have we become over the period? Like, has skills added? Oh, period, like, as skills added.

Oh, yeah, okay. Some skills added. I'd like to add to my repertoire bread maker. Oh, of course you bought a bread maker. No, I didn't buy a bread maker, sir, no. Those accusations are unfounded. What was the last day of shops, Wednesday? What was the last day of shops?

What's the last day of shops? What's the last day of shops? What was your last day of shops? That was the most British conversation. Now, what was the last day of shops? Wednesday. Wednesday? Wednesday. I saw a lady coming out of Noel Leeming with a bread maker.

And I think even at that time, a lot of supermarkets hadn't exhausted their yeast supplies, hadn't they? No, like yeast was like you couldn't get yeast anywhere. And flour. And flour, yeah. Still can't get flour. What about self-raising? I've talked about this.

Everyone's poo-pooing self-raising flour. No, but if you're making bread, you're not using self-raising flour. No, you've got to use like a wholemeal flour and stuff. That's what the yeast is for. Incorrect. Incorrect, right. The recipe I used could have used self-raising flour. So you made bread. Yes.

Now I'm pretty sure everybody's made this bread. This was, this bread went viral over the weekend. This is Chelsea Winters beer bread. Did it go more viral than my cake that I made last night? Your cake looked shit hot. By the way, I don't know, I can't see the cake. Well, I can't risk. Did you see the cake

that he made? No. Where's the cake? Holy, like, it could have been in your cabinet of your cafe. Why did you make that up? Go to my Instagram story, FleechenZ. Oh. Give us a follow. Shameless plug. Shameless plug.

I was too busy doing my cooking show. Mr. Toyboy even gave me a compliment. I don't know if you know. Mr. Toyboy. That's my praise. He makes cakes. He doesn't even give me compliments, so this must be a good cake. You'll have to fast forward through the making of the cake. I like how inadvertently we've got Mr. Toyboy in trouble makes cakes. He doesn't even give me compliments, so this must be a good cake. You'll have to fast forward through the making of the cake.

I go inadvertently, we've got Mr. Toyboy in trouble. He called him a cake. She's like, well, he's not giving me any compliments. Oh, okay. It's just a banana cake, though, isn't it? Oh, yeah, right. Okay, it's pretty good. He even did the drizzle bit down the side.

But I can't help but notice. Yeah. Yeah, there's a big ass cake. Where is the cake? I cannot risk giving you guys anything by bringing in cake. You're not breaching

your bubble. Excuse me, I brought you in a quiche. You're not baking outside your bubble. I brought you in a quiche. Well, you're welcome to come after the show

for a banana cake and coffee. I'm not coming around Oh, I'll come around for a banana cake. Oh, I know you will. In fact. Technically, am I allowed though? Because that's not

my physical space. You can wait outside. Okay. What about if I swap you some eggs for banana cake? I bought some eggs and some Fijals today. Done. I love this. This is old school, isn't it?

You're going to have to wipe those down, though. I'll spray and wipe all the eggs. Spray and wipe the Fijals, too. Okay, done. Yes. But you made bread from scratch. So Chelsea Winter She said she found this recipe

Now I don't know if this is just for the sake of a good yarn But she found it in a tattered old book Like a batch or something Sounds like an absolute sales point So Chelsea found this recipe And she repurposed it Basically it's bear bread And you pour

I could have gone off the top of my head Three cups of flour. Now I know flour is a finite resource at the moment, but if you can get self-raising flour, there's baking powder in it as well, so you don't worry about the baking powder if you're making it with self-raising flour. A teaspoon of salt, a teaspoon of sugar and then the beer.

That's where the yeast comes from. And you stir it. No, because she said you could make it with soda water. Is it the bubbles, the carbon said you could make it with soda water. Is it the bubbles, the carbon dioxide? Yeah, maybe. And so it's easy peasy.

And then it goes all like doughy and you put it in a loaf tin thing. And then you just top it with whatever you want. I don't want to sound too bougie, but I went bacon, cheese and onion. Oh, shit. Is there anything better than a cheese and bacon loaf? It's so good. That sounds amazing. From a bakery. And did it turn out good?

40 minutes? Amazing. That real thick doughy bread. Oh, yeah. That real thick. Yum. Yummy, stodgy. So you can feel when it hits your stomach.

I'm looking forward to today's poo. It's going to be... When I'm doing it, I'll be... Heck, I might even Instagram Chelsea Winter. Not a picture of it. I think this isolation 15 is going to become isolation 13. Easy. Easy.

So I love that people are starting to learn new skills and get into doing things. Yeah. They're like, well, what am I going to do with my time? Yeah. Just get it done. Maybe you've done some preserves. I've yet to start on the preserves. Is that what am I going to do with my time? Yeah. Just get it done. Maybe you've done some preserves. Oh, I've yet to start on the preserves. Is that what you're going to do, though?

Well, no, because I didn't get the jars, damn it. What about some old, when you're finishing jars? Some of the supermarkets sell jars. Oh, do they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Kate's Kitchen. I don't know why that popped into my head. That's written on the jars at the ones at the supermarket.

So we want to know what you could add to your CV from your five days of quarantine so far. I've done some other stuff that I don't want to talk about. I believe it might void my house insurance. I'd say you would not be the only one. Maybe you'd like to anonymously talk about certain tasks you've undertaken that would usually be left to a paid professional. Yeah.

So what have you done so far over quarantine? Maybe you've added some new skills to your LinkedIn or your CV. Yeah. 0800DARLSATM. You can text in as well 9696. Or if you're on the Facebook Live feed, you can leave a comment there. We won't zoom in on Megan's sty because it's... It's got a bung eye.

It's got a bung eye. But wanting to know what you've managed to achieve during lockdown. Maybe you've added some new skills to LinkedIn or your CV. Yeah. You've become a bread maker. I've made a little bit of bread. Chelsea Winters' Bear Bread. I also noticed that you didn't bring any of that in.

Fletch didn't bring his cake in. Mate, it's gone. Yeah, it's gone. Damn. It's gone. That bread is gone. Also, my cake was hard at the top, and I was like,

I don't want to bring that in because it's a bit crunchy at the top. I saw you cut it off the top, and I thought that emoji was being tripped. No, I should have cut the top off. No, I cut it. I thought you did cut the top off. No, I did.

I cut it in half so I could put extra cream in the middle. Oh. Yeah. I love that crunchy at the top. Lots of compliments on your cake. Hayley's called through. Hayley, what have you managed to do

in isolation in the last five days that you can add to your skill set? Grow some little microgreens. Microgreens? Microherbs. Yeah, nice. In five days? They go in like 12 hours.

So what kind of things are you growing? I think there's radishes, little broccoli, fennel, basil. It's just the little leaves. The little tiny ones. So what do you do when they sprout? You chop them off and you eat them? Yeah, and you just put them on eggs.

I'm just making a salad to take to work now. Sort of a garnishing sitch. Yeah, but they're full of heaps of nutrition. So do they grow inside or outside? Inside on your windowsill. I reckon I could kill those in 12 hours. They wouldn't have a chance to die before they were alive. Yeah, because I've got three plants at the moment

hanging on for dear life. I'm just like, I'm out. I may run out of seeds, though, so I'm just, you know. Well, then you let a few grow to their fruition and then they'll pop out some seeds for you. Oh, hey,

good thinking. That's a long game though, that might be a while. So horticulturalist, you'd add to yours. That's it, that's it. Congratulations Hayley.

Hayley, thanks for your call. Stay safe, some text messages. Somebody said, I think we can add psychologists, comedians and critics

to our CVs. Are you a pandemic expert? Yeah. Yeah, emergencyians, and critics to our CVs. Oh, you're a pandemic expert? Yeah. Yeah, emergency expert, all those kind of things. Yep. Social distancing expert. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Correspondent.

Yeah. House party user. That app took off over the weekend, didn't it? It did. I've got a house party. And now the house party. So apparently Camilla. Parker Bowles. PB, Camilla. I've got a house party. And now the house party. So apparently Camilla. Parker Bowles.

PB. Camilla Parker Bowles, his house party. Yeah, because that's how she's talking to Prince Charles, because he's in isolation. But surely they'd just. And then Prince Andrew would want to join the chat and they're like, no, no, no. Lock the room. He'd be adding some randoms he doesn't know. Lock the room.

Michael said professional piano player. He's learned to play Happy Birthday For a scratch Didn't even know how to play the piano He must have had a piano It was always weird Growing up you went to somebody's house and there was a piano You'd say oh did someone play the piano

They'd be like no We bought this for little Timmy Turns out he's dumb He chucked it in He's 35, we won't let him forget it. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast ZM. So we are

day five now of our COVID, are we calling it a lockdown or an isolation? The COVID lockdown We should get an intro made, really, shouldn't we? Yeah, but the people who make them Aren't here Just press record it Yeah

Just press record it Next time and we'll do it I'll do a multi-track I'll make it myself I'll make it myself Okay That's your challenge I can do that

I've got a program That's your homework today That's your homework tonight Is to get our garage banned No I will use this Free program I got off the internet What's it called It's called Audacity Ste steal the details off your computer.

Audacity. It's called malware. Oh, yeah, right. No, audacity's all right. Look, I've got it open now. Now, what do I need? You need an instrumental of the final countdown. I was thinking I'd do it all myself.

Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, right. Mouth. No, no, no. Use the intro. Use the actual music, please. So I was walking back from the supermarket on Saturday with some obviously essential items.

That's why I was leaving the house with a purpose, to go to the supermarket. And walking back to my house in the city, in the downtown Auckland area, which, by the way, is very quiet. It's like a movie. You can hear birds. Yeah, that's crazy.

And apart from the odd bus, because buses are still running for essential workers, although I've seen, out of all the buses, I've seen maybe two people on those buses. So it's dead. So apart from the odd bus, no one. And other people going to the supermarket, very dead. It's very airy and creepy. But I walked past and I saw a door open. And I was like...

A business door? What kind of door? A door to a business. A door? Like a swing open door? Now, there it was slight, it was a foot ajar, but open enough as if to say there's someone in this building, in this business.

The lights that would normally be on for this business were off. And I was like, this is very peculiar. Light indirect. No. Now, you tell me what you would think in this situation, because this door that was open was to a gentleman's club. It was just a jar. For happy ending massages.

Is that all they do? Or do they do a range of gentlemen's services? I don't know. It just says gentlemen's. And the door was open. And I was like, this is fishy. Fishy. So peculiar.

Very odd. This is odd. This is unusual. This is odd. This feels like a breach. Like open enough as if to say if you were wanting this kind of service, open enough as if to say, well, it could be open, but we're not because the lights are off.

Give us a little knock. But if you were shut. But then, I mean, maybe someone was going in to get some. Lube. That they'd left at work. I don't know. But I was like. But then that's not essential travel.

No, and it's not an essential service either, is it? Well, that could be argued. So what did you. So I was like, well, what am I going to do? Am I going to like call the police? And then I was like. Because you're a narc. I'm a narc.

We love narcing. I'm a little bit of a narc. I'm of the opinion that it's not about narcing. It's that at this stage, it was three days locked up. It was already long enough. And this is going to be very mentally challenging and hard for all of us to do. And if idiots are going to go out there and spread COVID, we're going to be locked up longer.

Like, let's be honest. It's not going to be four weeks. It's going to be more like six at least. And we need to prepare ourselves for that. But people going out like they were at the weekend, it's not helping. So I think we do need to knock and we need to say to people, we don't need to have a go at them.

But if we see someone, we just need to say, hey, we're not really liking being locked up. You're not helping. Let's do this together. Let's do this together. Let's do this together. Be nice. There was a lot of racism at the weekend, a lot of domestic abuse and stuff as well. I read. The racism thing

still blows my mind. Yeah. I'm very confused by what people think being racist in this situation is. Yeah. I mean, in any situation, but this particular situation, I'm not sure what they are imagining that's going to do. It's not how they want someone to blame.

It seems like looking at somebody of Asian descent and deciding they're to blame when they might have been like a third or fourth generation New Zealander could also be a dumb thing to do. Like, just assuming... Any kind of racism at any time is a dumb thing to do. No, I know, but people just assuming... Any kind of racism at any time is a dumb thing to do. No, I know, but people just assuming... Yeah, the racism thing blows my mind.

But when I suppose you've got people like Trump touting it as the Chinese virus and won't stop saying it because he got called out on it, but he's that, you know, like old mates, you call them out for something, they don't believe they're doing anything wrong, so they just double down on making an effort to do it. That's not achieving anything.

When I was walking home, I was like, well, they've obviously left the door a little bit open and there's something going on here. I'm like, maybe I'll do the online form. Because you can call 105, but that's quite busy as well. Yes. Because like me, people are seeing people like flouting the laws and the rules,

and they're like, well, look, we're sick of being locked up, let's do something about this. I was like, oh, well, I'll just get home and I'll do the online form. But then, just as I was about to enter my apartment building, there was a police car just parked up. And so I was like, well, I'll just go tell them. And then, like, then when they wound their window down

and I was, like, standing a couple of metres back, I was like, how am I going to, like, so I was like, hey, look, this could be nothing, but there was a gentleman's club. The door's open. So, and then they kind of looked at each was like, how am I going to, like, so I was like, hey, look, this could be nothing but there was a gentleman's club. The doors open. So, and then they kind of looked at each other like, oh, bag's not having a go in there. Like, you do it, bag's not.

And then, like, but you can't do that. Put their thumbs on their head. Yeah, you can't put your thumb on your head because that's touching your face. But hopefully one of them had to draw the short straw and go into the gentleman's club and see what was going on there. Draw the short straw is one of the things that's actually on the menu at the Gentleman's Club too. What is that?

No, I don't want to know. Let's not go into that. I'll tell you. I don't want to know. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So we've put on our Instagram account a poll to figure out how the nation's feeling. Get a little, I don't know.

Well, usually we do a polly moly and we ask you a bunch of questions. It's like my tongue just fell down the stairs. We usually ask you how you're feeling and then we've got some percentages and stuff. But we thought rather than poly-mole-ing it, we just want to know. We just want to know how you guys are going, what the nation's up to, how you're feeling. Yeah, so the

first question was have you picked up a new hobby or skill in lockdown? 80% it's very one-sided this one, 80% said no. But it's we're day five. Give it time. Give it time.

Yeah. Because I think, you know, we're going to be weeks in isolation. Yeah. Day five, we're probably still just chilling, right? But then there'll also be a lot of people who have picked up a new hobby that that stops pretty quickly. I have bought fabric and I've got the sewing machine out. But I haven't been bored enough to do it yet.

Well, you never replied to my message last night on Facebook. What message? How useless is Megan sometimes? The worst. You are the worst. She's like Nana. No, I didn't get it. I didn't see it. You open up their phone, they're like, oh, there it is. No, do you know what my issue is? I leave comments. We have time

to unpack. Hey, you've got to listen to my explanation if you're going to give me shit about it. You were busy cooking. But I leave comments on my Instagram. So every time someone comments on my Instagram, it comes up on my phone. So messages from you guys get lost. Anybody.

Yeah. Turn it on so it's just when friends comment on your Instagram. No, because then I see everyone's comments. Oh, and your battery goes down fast. Yeah, it does. It does. But that's why I lose your messages. That top that you said you were going to unpick the lining.

Oh, put that down. I'll do it for you, babes. Good. Okay, great. Well, I'm glad that we had to waste valuable on-air time. Where's my Swazi shirt? Well, I haven't told you I haven't started sewing yet. It's Ridgeline.

Ridgeline. She's making a Ridgeline polo place. I want the... Did you get some highlighter camo material? No. Oh, I'm not going to get any. The moment before lockdown and spotlight was panic stations. Everyone was getting material with the same purpose in mind.

Everyone's girlfriend was buying them polar face so they could make them a Ridgeline top. Yeah, it was sold out of highlighter polar face. I have to buy my own Ridgeline when this whole thing's over, aren't I? Mm-hmm. No, I'm practising, and then once lockdown's over, I'll go and make you one. Okay. Promise.

Next question. Have you been making an effort to exercise in lockdown? 67% have said yes. So that's good. Lots of walkies. Like, my dog's knackered. So many walkies. Knackered.

Two walks a day, and he's like, oh, man. Yeah, I biked yesterday along the bays and it was like around the bays. There was a lot of people. But people were, most people, 99% of people, because I was just waiting so I could do that face and give someone a tut-tut, wave of the finger. God, you're your mum. You have 100% to do to your mum.

Most people were keeping two metres, but then I did see, like I saw one girl run right past an old guy, like literally not even half a foot away. Like, come on. Come on. Come on, you might have given that man corona. You've got to imagine you've got corona. Yeah.

We did a driveway boot camp. Right. On Saturday and then yesterday I couldn't walk. But I think you've got to get out and do some exercise because otherwise you're going to... On Saturday I woke up, I was like, okay, I've got to do something every day otherwise I'm going to go crazy.

Yeah, and the next question is also why we need to be doing exercise. Do you think lockdown has had a positive or negative effect on your eating? 60% have said negative. Well, no, that all depends on how you... How you look at it. My eating's never been better.

I'm doing lots. I'm doing four meals a day. Yeah. I just saw a video of a fat cat, like, slowly just slinking down some stairs, and it was, like, on my way for my seventh breakfast of the morning. Yes. I was like, that's so mood right now. My dishwasher's on, like, over time because, like, all the dishes, yeah,

like, I'm eating at home every meal of the day. Anybody else, you guys don't have kids, but anybody else's kids like eating 12 snacks a day? Just finish them and they're like, what else have we got? I'm hungry. I'm like, oh. It's because we're bored of eating. How do you get on at school where you're not just constantly allowed to be eating? Yeah.

And last question, are you happy with whom you are in lockdown with? 87% said yes, but that doesn't mean that 13% said no. Imagine being stuck in a sitch where you don't like who you're with. Sadly, and we did mention before as well, sadly, the calls of domestic violence have gone, even on the first night of lockdown, there were a lot of calls. So if you're not feeling safe, you can reach out. Police have said you can always call them. Yes, call the police.

And there are places like Women's Refuge as well that can help out. And if you're neighbours and you hear something that you think is not right, you can call the police as well. Please do. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, as a lovely escape from the world around us on television, we still get to tune in to see the lovely Lucina

and the also lovely, what they both start with L for? Yeah, Lily. Lovely Lucina and the likeable Lily. That doesn't sound as nice as that one. No, it doesn't, no. Picked from a raft of gentlemen. And last night, one of those gentlemen was eliminated and Quinn joins us down the line.

Yeah, g'day. How are you guys doing? Good. Good. You, I had actually high hopes that you were going to take it out. Yeah, yeah. No, I was, yeah. I was feeling confident as well, to be honest.

Me and Lily had something really good going on. Yeah. And, yeah, it was a shock, to be honest. You just getting some messages? You're on the radio. I can hear you on the radio man. No it was a bit of a

shock to go definitely. Yeah. Yeah. We were real close and everything was good. My home visit was amazing. Got on really well

with my family and my brothers and all that sort of stuff. You know what went wrong in the home visit? Marineland. There's no marine land anymore.

No, there's not. Oh, did you see a couple of seals balancing balls on their nose? It would have been a home run. I was going to take you there. What about Splash Planet? Splash Planet, yeah. That's a trip to Hastings, though.

That's always a dangerous trip. Is it hard, though, because you can kind of tell her how you feel but in the way that the show's run they can't really divulge exactly like she can't say the album, she can't give you, you might feel it but she can't

give you a rundown of exactly how she's feeling It's weird because you're in a relationship technically Yeah, you are You are in a relationship and that's what's hard about the whole experience. You know, you've got, it was a real weird experience to be in because she's, especially watching back on it all. After watching back, you kind of,

it brings back a lot of memories of your time together and seeing her with, like, obviously with Richie and Jessie and that. Especially Richie, you know, you can see how well they get on and that. Yeah. And, yeah, it's actually, to be honest, it's been quite hard to watch. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. But that's all. Actually, to be honest, it's been quite hard to watch. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. But that's all good.

Me and her are real cool now. Yeah, right. We're still chatting. That's good. Dare I say it, Quinn, the DMs have probably been sliding in. Why would you say that? Well, I mean, your phone's gone off sometimes. But I mean, even before that.

It's not even the time of the day where I'd imagine DMs sliding in. You're still getting... What is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? No, I can't say. It's just between myself and my phone. What?

When you DMs? So what was the influx like when the show started in the DMs, in the Instagram inbox? Yeah, it's... How long until you got your first naughtyughty picture

I've got a naughty picture Unsolicited like that was the first thing they sent Yeah it was a photo Wow and what was it of I even got a picture sent to me Of a girl named Can I say her name No don't say her name

That kind of wrecks it now It was a picture of her face in a rose. And it was like, will you accept this? And that was her name. Oh, wow. Her name was Rose. Oh, no, that's okay. I think you're going to give it a pass.

Oh, right. Yeah, right. I get you. But I'll be honest with you, I've had some pretty gnarly stuff. It doesn't look good from that facial expression. It's pretty funny. Yeah. It's pretty greggy. But that's insane that someone doesn't look good for that facial expression. It's pretty funny. Yeah. It's pretty great.

But that's insane that someone doesn't know you. They're just like, here's a picture. And you're just like, wow, okay. Oh, don't ask for the surprise. We're over here acting like it's never happened to us. Would you ever send someone like that, anyone? You just saw them on TV. You're like, I'm going to send them a picture of my junk.

No, God, no. Of course not. I'm just going to go running in there and chase it, of course. Of course not. But then you came across as like the sensitive, like romantic kind of guy and like girls love that. Well, yeah, I've got a nice side to me. Definitely got a nice side.

But it's like being on, you know, like where you want to show your good side. And obviously I showed exactly who I am on the show. But yeah yeah off camera I can be a bit of a I don't know a rabag a lad

a bit of a lad a bit of a lad out of Richie and GC who are you going for? we've worked with GC so it's just amazing that he's in the last two because he's a lad too

especially when he lit his fart on did he light his fart on fire? nah he's a lad too. Especially when he lit his fart on, did he light his fart on fire? Oh yeah. Nah, he was a good lad. He is, yeah. I definitely like Jesse. We had some good fun.

And we were, all us boys did. I was stoked that us three were in the final to be honest because we were real close. But I think at the end of it, me and Richie were closer. Me and him are like tight as

as they go now. The same with Jesse, but yeah. Well, all the best for the future. Is there, is there, can I ask, one lucky lady at the moment?

No, no, Quinn's just floating around. Slide into the DM. And referring to himself as a third person. Quinn's open for the DMs. Oh, I'm just pretty busy. You know, I'm pretty busy with, I've got my speedway stuff going on, so I'm quite busy with racing and work and phones.

It's so bad. Oh, shit. Oh, God. There's another one. Piss off. They're not punching you down as a hero. If he wants a dirty DM, he'll get one. They're already coming.

Oh, good luck, Quinn. Awesome. Hey, thanks so much for having me. Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, we cross now to the producer's booth. Executive Intern Anya, who is at least three metres away from Mountie at the

social media hub, social distancing here at work. You have a story of a friend's flat at the weekend, and this, we were all quite shook by this. Yes, so we had a coffee Skype catch-up on Saturday morning. Did you Skype or did you do it on House Party?

No, we did it on Skype. Give us the times, Grandma. I feel like House Party is an evening app. It's for fun, not formal chit-chat. Skype's for a morning catch-up. Teams or Zoom for professional catch-up. House Party for the evening. House Party on the wines.

I'd rather do FaceTime or Facebook Facebook video for a catch up with friends. That's a bit better, don't you reckon? Yeah, true. Then you've got to get Skype and not everyone has Skype. We both have Skype. Everybody's got Skype. You're the only person without Skype. I don't have Skype.

Let's go. Why don't you do that? No, I do have Skype, but I haven't lost it. Skype feels old and clunky. How do you talk to your parents? FaceTime. FaceTime? Yeah.

Okay, not all of us have got parents capable of FaceTime. We were having a debrief about our respective quarantines and we had to whisper because obviously everyone's in very close quarters. Yes. And she was telling me that

they were going to have an intervention because one of their flatmates had gone AWOL on Friday night. And then it was revealed on Saturday morning that he was at a boutique hall. No, no, no. So he left quarantine to have sex with someone. And did he stay the night at their house? Yeah, I believe he came back very early on Saturday morning.

He's infected both of their bubbles. Potentially, they've both infected each other's bubbles. Yeah, so words were about to be had. See, what the hell? There's been cross-contamination of the bubble. So we have to burn both of them. Is that what we do now? In an incinerator.

Yeah. I think there's a song that sums this up very well. This comes to us from one of the finest musicals produced. Right. And it'll only work if we... No, not that one. Oh, that's right. My family's using this at home this afternoon.

We're stuck in our own world. Together, together, together. Nice community. Together, together. Apart. Apart. Let's have some fun. We're all in this together. Apart. It's so bad, though. So what were they?

Because they were obviously quite angry because now they're all potentially at risk. They were livid. Yeah. obviously quite angry because now they're all potentially at risk. They were livid, yeah. Because could they have, if they'd known, because they only found out when he came home. Yeah.

Because if they'd known, they could have just shut the door on him and said, well, you go find somewhere else to isolate. Yeah, it's pretty poor. It's pretty poor on his part.

Apart from a stern telling off from flatmates, was there any further action? Did they? I don't think there was the reporting thing yet. I don't know. Maybe if it happens again, which hopefully it won't, they'd probably go down a more stern line.

But yeah, I know that they were going to have a full flat meeting. Was it Friday? One of the One News reporters put it to the Prime Minister that they'd just found out that school kids had been hanging out with each other during quarantine and that was one of the schools where they had a lot of cases of COVID.

So like, I mean, yeah. If you see someone driving off or heading off, you've got to ask them where they're going.

Surely if you know them, if they're your flatmate or in your family, if they're not going to the supermarket, then yeah. How are school kids hanging out? Are they just sitting on just where they're your flatmate or in your family, if they're not going to the supermarket, then yeah. How are school kids hanging out? Are they just sitting there?

I'm going to be in the garage. Left to go out, yeah. And then skiddly-dee, away they go. People just aren't taking it seriously. We've got to take it seriously because the longer we don't take it seriously, the longer it's going to happen. Yeah, and it's going to get to the stage where we get quite angry and people get like, they start flying off the handle and people are actually happen. Yeah, and it's going to get to the stage where we get quite angry and people get, like, they start

flying off the handle and people are actually hurt. Yeah. Lynch mobs. Yeah. Right. Just how you feel. Not, yeah. Well, has anybody else, has anybody listening had to have a word with their quarantine members? Yeah, have there been issues in the quarantine

bubble so far? Have there been breaches and you've said, hey, look, you're not taking this seriously enough? Yeah, because weren't there, was it here or Australia, people were sneaking and having parties and drinks? Well, no, New Zealand police said there were the odd occasion of the weekend of people congregating, where there shouldn't have been congregations. So it's happening here as well.

People just hate being told what to do. Yeah. Even if the point of it is to save lives. Save lives. Yeah. That's the big thing that America's facing now is because it's all about the freedom and they're saying it's unconstitutional to tell us

we have to stay in our homes. This is our country. And so people are like, oh yeah, I get it. We need to stop this, but you can't tell me what to do. Well, you won't have a country and jobs to go to if you just keep going out and getting infected. The new epicenter. Yeah.

All right. Well, yeah, give us a call. 0800-ZM-TEXAN as well. If you're on the live stream, FVMZM, you can't see your sty on the live stream, Megan. You'll be pleased to know I've been looking. Oh, that's good. You can leave a comment there.

Have you had any problems in your quarantine bubble? So we've had reports. It was executive intern Anya that brought this matter to us, that a flat had to have a meeting after one of the flatmates left for a booty call on Friday night under lockdown. Unbelievable. Which is crazy. So we want to know

I was going to ask, did they report her online? No, they didn't. Instead of calling because the number's getting overloaded, you can go online now and report it. It'd be hard because you've got to live with this person, but you'd almost want to. How are they going to learn? So I'm on the COVID-19 website.

Yeah. I can't see where you would easily click to do the report. Have you guys done any reports So I'm on the COVID-19 website Yeah I can't see where you would easily Click to do the report Have you guys done any reports on there? Updates, how we're uniting Is it more of a 105 police report thing that you do? Oh is it 10-5? Is it 10-5.police.gov.nz.sgtsteven.

Where are you? Yup, something like that Yeah okaygov.nz. We want to know..sergeantsteven. Where are you? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, okay. That's where you go. Police.gov.nz. Okay. And you'll be able to do a... A form.

A non-emergency report. Okay. As you should. We need to stop. Yeah, because we're all sick of being locked up after five days, so let's not drag this on any longer because if people are going to be hooking up on booty calls and hanging out in groups... No. We're only going to be locked up after five days, so let's not drag this on any longer because if people are going to be hooking up on booty calls and hanging out in groups, we're only going to be locked up longer.

But we want to know, have there been issues in the last five days in your bubble? Maybe you've had to have an intervention? There has been. Someone said, my brother's 18-year-old girlfriend wanted to go see her grandparents,

and my mum said, if you leave, you are not coming back. And she was livid. That's not only because, yeah, the mum's angry because you might bring something back. But don't go and see your grandparents. No, this is a time to call the grandparents. Very high risk. Yeah, you could give them death.

Yeah. You could be dropping off death on their doorstep. Yeah. You might not be showing up because you might be in the super early pre-symptom stage. That's why it's important that we do the month. Because it's been thought that the symptoms could, like the virus could lay dormant and symptoms could start showing after two weeks.

But I read a report of the week and saying it's more likely three for some people. Yeah. So that's why it all needs to be shut down for it for quite some time. Some other messages in. Somebody said, my dad still thinks it's okay to be popping around the corner

for some beersies with some mates. I said, dad, what the hell? What are you doing? It's absolutely not all right. Because yeah, like you say, like if it does take two to three weeks

for symptoms to show or for them to catch it and they keep doing this, that's another three. It's just so much more time we've got to be locked up for. More and more. Yeah, time that needs to be locked out.

If everyone expands their bubble by, you know, like a group of friends, then we're all up in each other and more, yeah, time that needs to be locked out. If everyone expands their bubble by, you know, like a group of friends, then there's no point doing this. We're all up on each other's grill. Yeah. Somebody, um, Sam said, my neighbours keep having effing visitors that are arriving, coming in, and then leaving again. What? Report them.

100% report them. Could they be home workers? Like, how, you know, because some people do need home care. True. But then, I mean, you're probably looking some people do need home care. True. But then, I mean, you're probably looking at that person coming in and if they're carrying supplies and stuff, you'd eliminate that. Because their neighbour, they're probably aware of whether they need help or not.

What are drug dealers doing? I don't know. I mean, it'd be ignorant for us to assume that they were just... Letterboxes. ...stopping business. Do you reckon they'd be doing letterbox drops? 100%. That's unreliable, though,

because what if you put the drugs in the letterbox and then the postie comes? I was like, wow, thank you very much. I talked to a friend who's a police officer and they said they spent a lot of one of their shifts in the last five days telling street workers that they were not an essential service. That's dangerous.

No, I mean, I'm talking about... Yeah, okay. You're not talking about people who fix roads. No, no, no, no. And, you know, I mean, nothing against that and people that do that. No, but it's dangerous for their health. Yeah, very dangerous. It's dangerous for everyone's health.

Everyone has to be locked down, yeah. Somebody else said, my mum's the worst. She's just your classic boomer And thinks this is all A little bit silly But everybody in the Everyone in the family Is on to her about this

And just say mum Like you could be A super spreader Have you seen Did you read about The Korean super spreader So Korea was one of the really What

Not Korea Oh yeah okay yeah Korean Korea Korean Korean super spreader. I'm not talking about a courier or a career. It wasn't their chosen career.

Yeah. Korean super spreader. They looked to be flattening the curve. Yeah. One person reignited it. Wow. One person. You should read the article. It's got numbers.

I can't remember them all off the top of my head. But if you Google Korean super spreader COVID-19, it will blow your mind how much difference one person can make. They had no symptoms. No. Wow. And they were out and about. Were they an old mate?

No, I can't remember ringing their age. It's not just old mates. It's young people as well. Yeah, totally. People who think they're above it, better than it, smarter than it. And you look at Sydney numbers, like as we said last week,

like it's females in their 20s are the biggest cases in Australia. Yeah. Because they're still bad. Australia is just, they're... Oh, Australia's in big trouble. Yeah.

Honestly, the more people that are flouting it, the longer it's going to be. I feel like we're just someone's mum lecturing them. It feels like a bit of the same time but the thing is

if you're one of the well behaved children you get to sit there and be all smug about the other one getting told off don't you that was the best part

about your sibling getting told off by your mum when you were a kid if you'd done nothing wrong you could sit there looking at them like this I told you

told you mum's on my side ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast fact of the day day day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about digit hair. Mid-digital hair on your index finger. So get Hair On your index finger

So get at your Get at your little index finger there And then Start at the hand Knuckle Knuckle When you form a fist That's knuckle one

Yep Knuckle Go to knuckle two That one Yep And then the next little bit That's your mid digit Do you have hair there?

No I've got hair between the knuckle And the first knuckle Yes That's hair there? No. I've got hair between the knuckle and the first knuckle. Yes. That's common. On my ring finger, I've got like one, two hairs. Me too on my ring finger. But that's the only finger.

No others. Babes, get out the epi lady. That's all. The epi lady. Was that the tugger? I choose to have hair on my ring finger. Excuse me. Oh, shave it off.

Pluck it. Don't hair shave it. Don't tell me. Oh, shave it off. Pluck it. Don't hair shave it. No, don't tell me what to do. I'm keeping it there now. I've got a ring finger on my left hand. I've got a little patch on my ring finger. One, two, three. No, I've got none.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. It's like I've got no hair on my feet. Some people have real hairy hobbity feet. On top of the feet? Yeah. Yeah, I've got hair on top of the feet. On the toes? I've got a couple on the toes and the big toe and that's it. But you're

real hairy between your first knuckle and your second knuckle. I wouldn't say real hairy. I can see it from here. Yeah, but it's cute. It's not like... It's like fluffy. Fluffy, yeah. It's like a wee fluffy rug. But it's not like a rug. It's not like a Persian rug. But then just hairless on the next one. That's weird.

So what does it mean if we've got no hair? No, it's rare to have hair. Very rare to have hair. I want it to be rare. On your finger. All the finger or just that last knuckle bit? No, just that mid-digit. Especially on your index

finger. Right. It's mid-digital hair is what it's known as. Are we still rare if we have on our ring fingers? No. No, not as much. Just a freak. So you would have been hired at one of those circuses. You said that was real creepy.

Come and see the lady with hair on her ring finger. We've got the world's strongest man. We've got a little man, little Napoleon. We've got the world's strongest man. We've got a little man, little Napoleon. We've got the Siamese twins. And come check out the freak with the mid-digit hair on her ring finger. I'm feeling really targeted today. No, because I've got it too. Is this your turn in the Comedy Central roast?

We'd both be in the cage. Yeah. Oh, God. They'll be like, oh, shoss your finger. We've paid 25 cents for admission to the circus. I'll be like, there it is. Happy? Wow. Do you have it on yours? Yeah, onoss your finger. We've paid 25 cents for admission to the circus. I'd be like, there it is. Happy? Wow.

Do you have it on yours? Yeah, on my ring finger. I'd said. On the last digit bit. Yeah, on our ring fingers. Mid-digit. I have like two little baby hairs. Now this was kind of looked into because genetically it's very different

around the world as to who's got it and who doesn't. And there was a thought that people who had evolved genetically, been in an area for a certain amount of time, the colder the area, the more likely. Right. That was, however, put to bed. 75% of people with Northern European ancestry, Scandinavian, the upper Scottish.

Ikea, et cetera. Yep, those people. People Scottish Ikea Yep those people People from Ikea The cold areas They are 75% of people With that head here Somewhere on a middle On a middle digit

On the mid digit Right So that's like me and you Megan We've got the The little bits there So they thought Oh it must be a cold thing However when they looked into

People who had settled The very North Americas The Inuit None 2% 2% of people had it Very cold Yeah right It's a cold thing. However, when they looked into people who had settled the very North Americas, the Inuit, none. 2%. 2% of people had it. Very cold. Yeah, right. Yeah, but say it's colder.

Yeah. But it hadn't done it. And it can be something that you can... Did they check Santa? Did they check Santa's hands? He's got cold. He won't take his gloves off. But then Santa goes everywhere.

He goes to hot and cold places. Yeah, but he's magical. I hope Corona's cleared up by then. He won't be. He'd to hot and cold places. Yeah, but he's magical. I hope Corona's cleared up by then. He'd be a super spreader. He'd be a super spreader. He'd be the biggest super spreader of all. He would be a super spreader. He'd get way to cancel Father Christmas.

Sanitise. If it's not cleared up by Christmas, everyone's going to need to sanitise their chimneys. And cookies. Yeah. Oh, no, you can't leave food out for... No, you can't risk... This year.

Oh, really? We don't feed Santa? This will all be sorted out. Okay, good. You don't want to risk giving it to Santa. Okay, good. He's absolutely magical. So today's fact of the day is it's very rare to have hair on the mid-digit of your index finger.

Unless you're Megan. Fact of the day, day, day, Tay, Tay. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Foodstuffs, they are the company that owns Pack and Save, New World and Foursquare. Have said that they will be giving essential staff a 10% bonus for those who are working through the COVID-19 lockdown. Yes, good. I think all supermarkets should be doing this.

Yes. Like these people are putting lives at risk, aren't they? Yes. They're the industry that's still, you know, all of them can be open. Yeah. And definitely it's 10% enough? I was about to try and work out how much that is. So 10% of their wage every hour.

Yeah. That's not. I guess there's a lot of workers. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So automatically your wage has gone up 10%. But a bonus suggests when this is all over, they're going to take it away again. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So automatically your wage has gone up 10%. But a bonus suggests when this is all over, they're going to take it away again.

Yes. And how much money are the supermarkets making at the moment? I mean, I'm just putting it on a slide. The weird thing was I went to a pack and save on Friday on the way home from work. Yeah. And so you had to line up to get in. They were only letting 15 people in at a time.

Yeah. And they pretty much weren't letting 15 more people in until 15 people had come out. Yeah, it was one in, one out. Yeah, so there was a massive line, much like the club. Yep. Except hot girls just couldn't walk to the front and get in. Yes. Although, and a lot of them are letting essential service workers

like nurses, firemen, police go in. I think that's great. You just show your ID and they'll let you straight in. The elderly. Yeah. An older person was in the line and somebody said to the security guy, oh, does this old fella have to wait? And they let him go.

And that's fair enough. I've got absolutely no problem with that. No, exactly. So I waited in line. And when I got in there, it was really spookily quiet in there. Now, they were going to have a consistent stream of people all day, and everybody that was in there was kind of buying more than you would just nip in

and grab a couple of things to dinner that night. You kind of plan out your meals, and you go and you buy five days of food at a time or whatever. So everybody's bills at the end were maybe a bit bigger. Yeah. But it wasn't a super hustling, bustling situation. Yeah, but then we saw it last week, the sales of through the roof.

That was the panic buying and pre the restrictions. So I'm wondering what it's going to be like now at the end of, but in saying that, it's still a dangerous place to be working. There's shields up. There was Perspex shields up. Yeah, I've seen those. Have seen since, since seen pictures of our local New Worlds put up a massive plywood. Oh, really?

Huge sheets of plywood to separate the lines. Oh, okay. To separate when people are in the queues and to stop. Yeah. That's, it's just the fact though that they, like you're putting your groceries down, you've touched them, then they're touching them. And then like, they've got to try and not touch their faces. It's just like, I think they should be getting danger pay. Better than 10%.

Yeah. Well, any worker that is doing that kind of job. Any danger pay, yeah, there needs to be a little sweetener. Well, I saw the one of the, I think it was the guy from New Zealand Post saying, can you not pat our couriers on the back? Like, what are people

doing? Like giving them a pat on the back, like great job, mate. I think you will suffice. You're touching them. Yeah. And if you do have couriers coming around dropping off essential items or the stuff from ASOS that you got in before this all happened, then give them space

because they need to put it down and get away from you. Yeah. And don't take it personally. It just seems like how everything has to be done. Always telling people off and ranting. Yes. It does feel like that. But at the same time, again, as I mentioned before,

if you're not doing anything wrong, you can sit there smugly and listen to us tell off your siblings. 16 minutes away from nine, you might be wondering what the Thai king has done to avoid this whole coronavirus. I know, I lay awake in bed last night wondering what the Thai king is doing. What's that fella up to?

In fact, this- That rascal. This will get you in trouble with your father-in-law this break because every time you talk about the Thai king, he's worried about he'll get death or something. Yeah, well, no, he said that if they hear you talking badly or even being cheeky, next time I go back, I could be in big trouble.

Good news for him, he's not going back anytime soon. Okay, great. So we'll talk about it. All right. But yeah, the Thai King is, wow, he's gone next level with his lockdown, hasn't he? Yeah. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. The King of Thailand He's taken the Locking yourself away from the world

Very seriously He's quarantined himself In the Swiss Alps Oh wow I mean I personally would have thought When a country was Facing such turmoil You'd want to

Because what's the Queen done? She's been taken to her residence, right? She was flown there? Yes. She's in isolation now because her footman... Her foot soldier, she's like... The Kingsman from the Ninja Turtle. The Kingsman and the foot soldiers

and the Ninja Turtles have... Yeah, her footman has coronavirus and she's been in close contact with him recently. Wow. Plus Prince Charles. So she's in isolation as well. So is the King of Thailand. He flew himself to a luxury hotel in the Alpine resort

of Garmisch-Partenkirchen with his entourage. He booked out the entire hotel. And he also took his harem of 20 concubines. What's a concubine? Female sex people. Female sex chums. Wow. And numerous servants.

He doesn't know, and it's unclear at this stage, whether or not his four wives are also living in the hotel with the rest of the group. Well, you only take the 20 mistresses and leave your four wives at home just stay home yeah huh so get away with anything because the thai people were not allowed to say anything bad about him no no they're not not publicly but yeah rather than staying at home and helping the country that call him king.

He's like, see ya. I mean, in his defense, you can Skype from anywhere in the world. You can Skype it in. He already had to send 119 members of the entourage back because he believed they may have been in contact with someone with COVID. Right. Yeah. So there's some people in Thailand Who are struggling

Who can't really see What good that is Having him way over there But That's how he's chosen To isolate himself With his harem Yeah with his harem

Now why are you looking up A recipe for Belgian slice Why do you think You're gonna make Belgian slice You've still got banana cake at home Yeah I know This is my next thing That I'm making So my amazing banana cake at home. Yeah, I know. This is my next thing that I'm making.

So my amazing banana cake, which had a lot of feedback on Instagram, FletchNZ. Oh my God. Vaughn's coming around afterwards to get some. He's going to wait downstairs.

I'm going to go and get it for him, which is great because I made it and then I had a lot of it and then I was like, I can't eat the rest of this. But then why,

then why you've just, as that sentence dribbles out your mouth, why do you need to make more Belgian slice then? Also, it should be Belgian slice, shouldn't it? It's Belgian,

yeah, or Belgian biscuit cake. why does, I'm craving it, so I'm like, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna make some. Are you pregnant?

God, there's so much sugar and butter in this stuff, eh? Like, when you do baking, you're like, it's real confronting. Like, you this stuff. When you do baking, you're like... It's real confronting. You go to a bakery or a cafe, it's...

It's just there and you don't think about it. It's there and you don't have to make it. So you eat it and you're like, okay, well, there'll be like a teaspoon of sugar in this. But when you're pouring two cups of sugar into a mixing bowl, it's very confronting. What needed two cups of sugar? The Belgian slice? Or was this the cake you made yourself? No, the Belgian

slice only needs three quarters of a cup. No, but I'm thinking there was, like, there were two cups of icing sugar, there was one and a half cups of sugar. I pretty much used a whole block of butter in the cake and the buttermilk icing. Still want that cake, Morn? Well, even that made

me feel guilty enough to have to do some exercise. All right, we're finishing the show today as we always do with a rendition of our beautiful national anthem, which has a name, God Defend New Zealand, which has made it easier to find other versions rather than me just searching New Zealand national anthem. This from the New Zealand Army Band from their album Conflict, Tunes of Glory. I didn't know they had an album. They've got multiple albums. Oh, lovely.

You can do this, New Zealand. Is there a Christmas version? Because that sounded a little bit Christmassy at the start there. Just need like sleigh bells. Just some sleigh bells. Yeah, that could Christmas it up. We're also looking at a house party with Solomio. To get Solomio.

Because I cannot find for the life of me a good quality version of the National Anthem as sung by Solomio. Okay. So I'm trying to get into a house party with Moses. Yeah. And then he'll invite the other lads. We'll plug the phone in and they can do us a live. Oh, yeah, lovely. A live anthem before 9-1-morning.

That'll be lovely. Well, be safe, New Zealand. Look after yourselves. Any words, Megan, with your hairy finger? We've all got hairy fingers. I don't know why she got targeted. It's her day today. Oh, right.

Whose day is it tomorrow? Yours. I'm not in tomorrow.