ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan & Megan Podcast - March 4th 2020

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

Top 6 things to do during Self-Isolation.Did you meet your partner on public transport?Fletch Sucks!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Morning. Good morning. What's today? Wednesday. Yay. September? No, sadly no. March. Although if it was September, how did coronavirus end up? Not good.

We all got put into a status chamber where we were put to sleep for six months. I know, how good would that be? It's not sleep. It's not sleep. Did we run out of toilet paper? No, because in the chamber we didn't poop. Oh, great. Imagine the poop when you wake up.

Whoa. But you haven't been eating. You haven't been eating. Oh, yeah, true. Imagine the poop when you wake up. Whoa. But you haven't been eating. You haven't been eating. Oh, yeah, true. We just like all clicked up. No, no, no. Not like a beer. Not like a hibernation, a post-hibernation poo.

Is that what, do they do that? No, they eat and they make a little, they shove a mixture of sticks and twigs and stuff up their butt and create like a dam. And then when they come out, they pick it out. Did you know that? I did know that because Vaughan's told me that before. I believe it was a fact of the day once. It was a fact of the day once.

It was a fact of the day once. Oh, there's been so many, I forget. They pop a little something up there. I don't know how you can forget that fact of the day. You're actually going to deal with self-isolation in the top six today, Vaughan, because this is becoming a reality for a lot of people who become sick. It's a real buzzword, too. People just self-isolating left, right and centre.

So the top six things to do when you self-isolate. Because you're isolated, aren't you? That's it. Most of the time in your own home, yes. Yeah. ZM's $100,000 secret sound, Thanks to Save My Bacon, returns this morning your chance to play and win that cash at $100,000 secret sound thanks to Save My Bacon returns this morning your chance to play and win that cash

at $7,800 and we're up to $70,000 as our jackpot we've never given away $70,000 before and if this keeps going I think next week

it could be $100,000 could you imagine the chaos and then the week after that it could be a million no it's going to be it's going to stop at $100,000

why? because it's the $100,000 secret Why? Because it's the $100,000 secret sound. Imagine if we give away $100,000 and someone says, oh, cool. I will reach down the phone and strangle them. I doubt that's going to happen. Yeah. Because I think people are just going to lose it. Yeah.

People are so into this. There was a video released a couple of days ago now of Soundkeeper Gary. In that video, Somewhere is the Sound. You can see that ZM Online, the Facebook page, ZM Online, if you want all the closing guesses that we've had to date. And you've just got to get through 7 o'clock to play the Activator. Be listening up for that. Fleshfawn and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines that I've sourced from overseas news outlets. Odd, weird, unusual news stories. And Vaughan and Megan, as always, pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, teacher loses job after showing students photos. Headline two, sad sacks. And headline three, woman fails job after showing students photos. Headline two, sad sex.

And headline three, woman fails at dine and dash. Woman fails at dine and dash. She did not get out. Did she fall over? Dine and dash recently. I don't know if it was intentional. At the cafe? Yeah, because I think some places you pay first and then you eat

and some places you can sit down and eat and then pay. Yeah, you go up to your order and you pay at the time. Yeah, because I think some places you pay first and then you eat and some places you can sit down and eat and then pay. Yeah, you go up to your order and you pay at the time. Yeah. And I just literally left. But then as a cafe

you wouldn't, you'd want to do that, eh? Because you'd always be hoping to talk them into a slice. Yeah. Or another coffee. Another coffee, yeah. Yeah, they just left.

You're like, oh, they have not paid. We dine and dash an entire kids party. Accidentally? But accidentally. August's birthday, yeah. We dined and dashed an entire kids party. But accidentally? August's birthday, yeah. We had it all and then left and then we got home and Shade's like,

oh, Mr. Kaufman, I know a number. She never answers, I know her numbers. Yeah. And then they left a message and she's like, I don't check voice messages. And then later on she's like, oh, my God, I never paid for that venue. And it was them, they were trying to get their money out of us. She's like, I am so sorry, I hope you don't think we were trying to get their money out of us. She's like, I'm so sorry, I hope you don't think

we were trying to get away with it. You totally wouldn't have gotten paid. It wouldn't have been the worst thing we'd have had. But we nearly dined and dashed your cafe too.

Yeah, you just don't think about it. Yeah, you just forget. But then I would always remember and go back. Yeah, did they come back? No, they haven't come back. Do you have footage?

Do you recognise them? I don't know if they're regulars actually. Name and shame. They're never coming back now. Yeah, nah, they're not. Do you recognise them? I don't know if they're regulars, actually. Name and shame. They're never coming back now. Yeah, nah, they're not, are they? Do you have their face? Do you have a security camera?

Yes. Pull the footage. Name and shame them. Absolutely, enlarge those. But please don't dine and dash at the cafe. But I don't think I'm going to pull the security footage, no. Right, okay. Well, do you want that story or do you want one of the other two?

What was it? Woman fails at Dine and Dash, sad sex, or teacher loses, shows the kids some photos. Oh. Oh, is that like they were doing some work on the laptop and some naughty pics came up? Oh. She intentionally showed them.

Do you want that one? Yeah. Yeah. She. She did, yeah. Why did you not think it was that one? Yeah. Yeah. She. She did. Yeah. Why did you not think it was a guy? I think you said she, didn't you?

Oh, did I say she? No, I just said teacher. I don't know. Okay. Well, a Texas art teacher has been placed on administrative leave after talking about her future wife and showing the class photos of her future wife. That's right. When I read this headline,

I thought the art teacher had got out his phone and shown his junk to the students. But no, it's nothing at all like that. Well, she was paid leave. She has reached a $100,000 settlement with the school district last week. And they agreed also to remove the eight-month leave from her record. So wait, she didn't do anything wrong?

All they did was like, are you getting married, miss? And she's like, yeah, here's my wife. And it was the fact that this happened in a super conservative state. And someone went home and said, our teacher's marrying a woman. And they said, not all my wild boy. So she's a two-time teacher of the year as well. So she's well-liked by the students. She's a great teacher. She showed in

August of 2017, that's how long this has been going on for, a photo of her and her fiancé dressed as characters from the movie Finding Nemo. Oh, cute. A parent complained to the school saying that the teacher was promoting the homosexual agenda. And that's why the, yeah, this stuff's still going on.

Where was this? In Texas. Oh. Yes. Tax. But anyway, she's got $100,000. Good. And that's been struck for her.

And an apology. Is that enough? That was in 2017. Yeah, no. That's two years ago. I'm assuming she was on leave with pay. Oh, right.

And then that's on top of that. But yeah, crazy, right? You're putting your move to a more progressive state. I thought you were going to say she showed nudes

or something. Yeah, that's where I thought that story was going to. It's sad, isn't it? Yeah. 12 past six. One of the $25 million lotto winners

from The Weeknd has come forward. Why? I know. Not, not, not. You can't identify them. Hi, my name's Sue. Okay.

I won the big one at The Weeknd. My husband, Trevor, who's a bus driver at so-and-so's Bus Limited, our hometown, has come forward. No, she said yes.

Yep, I've won. Twas I. I'll tell you a little bit about her next. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Lotto's Powerball won at the weekend. The sign was back to $4 million or something. Not bothering. Not bothering.

Check out that loser. No, I wait till it's ten. If I'm going to win Lotto, it's going to be the big one. It's going to be ten or more. Wow. It got split in half, didn't it,

from the $50 million. And one of them was an online tickety-wickety. Yep. And one of them was purchased in Manukau. Now,

wasn't that fun watching people be like, Auckland! Mah! That's just what Auckland needs! More money! Mah! It's like, okay. If you're going to look at it, a third of the population would have been buying tickets from Auckland.

Because that's where a third of the population is. Yeah, some of the online comments were nuts at the weekend. What do you expect? People feel robbed. I got a great message yesterday. Yeah. Oh, my God. Can you guys please talk about the Herald announcing the lotto winner and numbers 10 minutes before the draw was even made?

And I was like, oh, sweetheart, you've fallen for a fake conspiracy theory ad, haven't you? And they were like, yeah. But at least they saw, right? Yeah, yeah. Some people would have dug their heels in and been like, no. Anyway, there's a lot of things in place to make sure that doesn't happen. But one of the winners has come forward, but actually from Hawke's Bay.

Right. Purchased at the Countdown Manukau City Mall when passing through Auckland. Okay. See, even that. Imagine if you're in Hawke's Bay and you know someone had been up. Yeah, that's true. And they talked about going to the mall. I don't know why anyone sees anything after they win Lotto.

Because, like you say, that's enough clues to put that together. If you know that Sharon and her husband Steve were up in Auckland at the weekend, and then all of a sudden they're driving a flash car. But it's exciting. Yeah, but keep it to yourself. Yeah, but I understand how people let it slip. So she said there's been a few sleepless nights because it has to be officially confirmed. Right.

And she'd been keeping her ticket on her person in her phone case and under her pillow at night. I don't know. Aren't those tickets heat transferable? You wouldn't put it in your phone case? Nah, because they could get pretty hot in there. If you took a photo of it just in case you lost it, does that count? I think so. I think that would help.

It would help, but I don't wish to speak on these. You know, I don't want to speak for lotteries. Where would you put it? I'd probably just put it in a I don't know to speak for lotteries. Where would you put it? I'd probably just put it in a, I don't know, somewhere like... I'd put it in my... In a drawer. In a drawer in the kitchen, probably.

And would never leave the house. I don't know. Would you hire someone from Chubb Security just to stand there? No, you can't tell Chubb Security. But you don't tell them. It's because you've got a lotto ticket. They don't get paid $50 million. Yeah, but you don't tell them what they're guarding.

You just say, you're guarding this room. You can't get paid $50 million. Yeah, but you don't tell them what they're guarding. You just say you're guarding this room. You can't get funky with your hiding place either because then you put it somewhere that you don't usually put stuff and you're like, oh my God, where did I put it? And putting it in your phone case. How often do you lose your phone? You literally just lost your phone in the small table. It fell out of my hand on the walk between the car

and the lift and I didn't even hear it hit the ground. So what if your lotto ticket had been in that? Well, for a start, I wouldn't have come back to work. I would have self-isolated. I would have said, guys, I'm a suspected coronavirus

and you would have been like, oh my God. Self-isolate. I'm self-isolating for the foreseeable future. Yeah, right. Also, I wouldn't have believed that. I would have been like,

get to work, you're not having two weeks off. And I would have been like, see that red dot on the back of your head? You're about to be sniped by my new elite mercenary force that I've hired. I don't come to work anymore. I mean, self-isolate.

So any other details? She's been scouring the internet looking for her dream car. Okay. And she said her priority is making sure there's a good plan in place. Right. For the money. Which is a great idea and I think Lotto actually realise that they have to help people. Well they give you a book don't they?

Yeah. I'd want a bit more than that. I wouldn't read it. It's like the instruction manual. I got it from here. Now there seem to be a few screws missing at the end of this Lotto plan that I'm trying to put together without absolutely any instructions. Yeah.

So, yeah, one of them's come forward, and that Auckland winner was indeed somebody passing through. Hmm. Well, if you're in the Hawke's Bay. Hmm. I'm going to ask for some money. Someone's all of a sudden bought a vineyard. It could be them.

And is driving around loudly proclaiming they've bought their dream car. Ask them for a buck. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The New Zealand police have shared some of the excuses that police worldwide have received from people who stopped at drink driving checkpoints and other checkpoints. Some of the excuses, some of the things that have been said to them

because they're trying to say that when you get pulled over at a random test, then the onus is on you. You've got nothing to worry about. You're the only one to blame here. Exactly. If this is a random breath test and you get stopped, they haven't picked you out. Yep. This has just happened. Has it gone down since they

brought the limit down? Like the number of people done for drink driving? I don't know. Like the threshold of when you can get the alcohol on litres of breath thing. Yeah, because I just know that people just you know, they're not risking it now.

Right. As much because, you know, even one or two for some people. Yeah. You know, it's different for everybody. You drink and you don't drive or you, what's the other option? You drink and you don't drive or you don't drink. Yeah. Or you taxi.

Yeah. There's lots of different options. For sure. So some of the excuses that were actually said and on record for what people said to the police, you can't put a checkpoint on this road,

it's illegal. It's not. It's not. Nice try. I mean, worth a try. How do they not laugh in these people's faces?

Because you'd hear it so often. I want to know how you don't accidentally Be like, tase somebody in the face And they're like, I can't put it here, this is illegal You'd be like, oh my god, my taser How'd that get out? It just happened

You're only stopping me because of my car, otherwise I'd be sweet Those are some rich a-holes Or is that young people? Maybe You could totally go either. Can you hurry up? I've got things to do. Yeah, process you because you're drunk.

Yeah. Well, how am I supposed to get to work tomorrow now? If I lose my job, that's your fault. Oh, my gosh. I needed a burger on the way home from the pub. Probably shouldn't have been driving home from the pub. No. Yeah, get one on the Uber.

Can I buy you a donut? See, that's a taser. That's a straight taser. That's a cheeky police officer. Yeah. Although, imagine if you were, like, hungry because you're working night shift. Have you tried the new Rick and Morty donuts yet? Nah.

Because I'm not a huge donut guy. I like a cream donut. Yep. But, like, it's just a straight donut. They can be too dry. Oh, no. What are you talking about? You're not getting a cream donut. Yep. But like it's just a straight donut. They can be too dry. Oh no, what are you talking about? You're not getting a fresh donut. You're not getting a fresh donut.

I live like a couple of hundred metres from Krispy Kreme. It's very bad. Right. You can get a fresh donut. They're always fresh. That would have me floating out the window. Like you know how like in cartoons, like they start sniffing something and you can fly.

I only drank beer. I never did shots. We're kind of familiar with this because there was a massive advertising campaign. Do you remember? And he's like, the famous line was like,

look at the size of me. It takes a kid to get me over the limit. Yeah. And there was a whole lot of onus on it, but we just need reminding that you shouldn't drink,

drive, and it's nobody's fault, but your own if you do. Flesh, Fawn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello.

Isn't self-isolation a buzzword at the moment? I can't remember this from swine flu or avian flu or SARS. H1N1, what was that one? Swine. Swine, yeah, right. I don't remember people going, I'm self-isolating or there needs to be a self-isolation or prepare yourself for self-isolation. I don't remember it.

No, I don't remember it either. So everyone's going crazy about it this time. Basically, you put yourself away for a couple of weeks. And you know, my brother-in-law, he works in Australia and New Zealand. He does a week in Australia, a week in New Zealand. He said that people who work for his company were booking weekends to Bali because the company had put a policy, if you were coming back from Southeast Asia, you had to have two weeks off.

So all these people at his work were like, oh no, but I booked a trip to Bali. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Book a trip to Bali, come back in two weeks off. Wow. And your mother-in-law's in Bali. She said it's dead. Yeah, she said it's beautiful.

It's lovely. It would be amazing. It's peaceful. Because there's no Australians there. Apart from the ones that my brother-in-law's work. Yeah. Who are just going for the weekend though, so they're not there for very long.

Yeah, right. So they go to the weekend and then get two weeks off. And then they come back and they have to work from home for two weeks. Oh, terrible. Yeah. Sounds horrible. Ideal. But a self-isolation is what we're all being told to prepare for.

So the top six things, because you're likely to get bored. If you don't have it, but you're self-isolated for two weeks, the top six things to do if you self-isolate. Number six on the list, Finally sort out the linen cupboard. The hot water cupboard where all your towels go. That's a bit of a mess to be honest. I just keep trying to shove everything in there. We've all just kept trying to shove it in the linen cupboard.

Every time you open it, you're like, is today the day it all falls out at me? Yeah, and you're like, oh, you're looking for the towel and you're like, I can't see the one I need. This is going to be an avalanche of towels when I stick an arm blindly in. Number five on the list of the top six things to do if you self-isolate. Finally sort out the bathroom cupboard. If you thought the linen cupboard was bad, every time you open that thing to chuck the moisturizer back in

and shut it quietly and then wait to hear if everything falls over in there. I did the bathroom cupboard the other day. Very satisfying. Very satisfying. What was your policy. What did you, what was your policy? Like what did you chuck?

There was just heaps of stuff I'd never used or like had been sent and I don't know. Did you donate it? Yeah. What did you do with it?

Where did you donate it? Did you chuck it out? But if it's not been opened and stuff you're never going to use, you donate it to like the mission and that because people need to show.

Did you chuck it out? Carl, tell me you did not chuck it out. Well there was like a couple of moisturisers that I was like I'm not going to use these. donate it to like the mission and that. Did you chuck it out? Carl, tell me you did not chuck it out. Well, there was like a couple of moisturisers that I was like, I'm not going to use these. I don't know why I've got these. But like you work with a whole bunch of people. You could have brought it in and been like. Dry skinned, yuck flaky people. Have you been in that office lately?

Everybody looks absolutely parched. Dehydrated. Yeah. Oh my, I'm, you're, I'm not talking about you. Well, I didn't know there was a clothing big trouble A clothing bed and a moisturiser I'm surprised he didn't start a fire on the roof of his apartment and burn all the plastic

A heap of women especially That was man moisturiser They have men in their lives You could have given it to me Well next time I will Oh I'm so upset with you You're in so much trouble I didn't do this to get you in trouble.

Well, you have. You just got yourself in trouble. So much trouble. Number four on that was my drink bottle rattling around. Cool. I'm not getting a new drink bottle this week. Okay. Good, because this one I washed it.

It had a bit of a funky smell. Yeah. I washed it with boiling water, and now the water tastes funny. What happens to that one? Can it be recycled? I'm just going to chuck it in the same bin as all of Fletcher's bathrooms. No, this can be recycled, I believe. Okay, good.

Well, I'll put it in the recycling bin, but a lot of stuff I just chuck in there on a bit of a hope and a parade, to be honest. No, everyone sit at home. No, pretend you don't chuck the odd thing in there, not knowing. Number four on the list of the top six things you can do if you self-isolate. Finally sort out the pantry and fridge. No.

Oh, yeah. The pantry. I could be off for two weeks and still find an excuse not to do that. I know. But then when you've got something else to do is when you end up doing it. Yeah. To me, I have a list of prioritised tasks. And I always seem to start at the bottom.

Yeah, right. Like, I'll warn you, you've got to have this done by tomorrow. I'll be like, yes, but the pantry might have cinnamon in it that has a best before date of 2012. It might do. Let's go looking. Number three on the list of the top six things

you could do if you self-isolate. Finally get around to hiding all the cords for the computer and the TV and all that. Oh, yeah. You've been meaning to do that for a long time. Did you hide your cord when you put the TV up? Did you get it in the wall? Yeah. Oh, good.

Yeah, yeah. That's all hidden. The computer area is messy. No, pretty good, but there's not a lot there. Okay. Yeah. No, we've gone for a fairly cord-free looking house. Number two on the list of the top six things to do if you self-isolate.

Finally get those hard water stains off the glass shower door. No one's bothering with that. No, that's a real like, you'd almost have to be like have a gun to your head and someone saying clean that door. You'd probably still be like, but it's baked on. This is why when I go home, mum always makes me squeegee the shower after I go to the shower. Have you squeegeed?

Have you wiped the shower door? Yeah. Do you know what's worse looking than soap stains in the window? It's just a constant squeegee sitting in the shower. Yeah. Yes. A $2 squeegee on its little hook. It should go a little.

One of those little 3M hooks. 3M hook, yeah. But the hook wasn't made for the squeegee. No, it doesn't sit flat against the wall. No. In fact, it won't sit squeegee against the wall. So it's squeegee out. Yeah.

And sometimes you'll touch the squeegee with your back and you'll be like, what was that? Yeah. Yeah, we've got to come up with a better way for the seniors. Yeah. Let's put our heads together after the show. Okay. Yeah.

We'll work on a collective mum issue there. And number one on the list of today's top six things to do if you self-isolate. Finally see what containers have both lids and containers that go together. Yeah. And then throw out the ones that don't. Recycle the ones that don't. What if I find them later? You won't, Megan.

If they're not in the container drawer, they're not anywhere. Give it up, Megan. I don't know how that came home without a lid. But then would you put a container that's got spaghetti bolognese stains with a clear lid? What, does it have to have a stained lid? Well, it doesn't match. Well, no, no, no.

If it's the lid that was intended to go with that container, yes. And plus, I always shake the spaghetti around ensuring an orange stain everywhere. Oh, right. On the lid as well, so it matches. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you sit it upside down just to get that good equal stain throughout the place.

But then it leaks. Not if you've got a good container. Oh, yeah, true. Not down just to get that good equal stain throughout the place. But then it leaks. Not if you've got a good container. Oh, yeah, true. Not if you've got a good container. That is today's Top Sock. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. You might see on your Facebook timeline or from your mates pictures of tomato sauce being absolutely pillaged in the supermarket. Gone, none left.

The shelves empty, yeah. Yeah. And it's not coronavirus. No. It's not stockpiling. Yeah, because everyone was like, oh, even the Wadis sauce is gone. It has gone,

but yeah, nothing to do with the panic buying that happened at the weekend. So apparently Wadis has confirmed there has been a supply issue because basically they had some maintenance done, maintenance and repairs done on one of their manufacturing lines, and it took longer than expected.

So they just don't have any right now. But they're working on it. They say they're going to restock later this week. Is it made here or in Australia? I thought it was made here. Is it made in Hawke's Bay? Right, okay. Is it?

Yeah. That's good to know. Somebody's parents lived by it, and they said when the wind was blowing in the right direction, you could tell what they were making that day. Because it smelled like tomato sauce. Tomato sauce. Was it the same place that did the tinned peaches? Oh, tinned peaches would be a nice smell on the wind.

The cannery. Okay. Watery's cannery. You know what? This might be a good thing, though. And I know you know what I'm going to say Good chance for people to try something else Because you really like that chunky relishy weird one

Yeah, I like the Whitlocks The carny sauce, the chunky sauce It's way better The carny sauce isn't the chunky sauce The carny sauce is the super runny thin sauce It looks pink and it's made mostly with apples Yeah, it's yum Any other sauce.

That's carny sauce. Sweet chilli sauce. Try some sweet chilli sauce. It'll change your life. You don't have sweet chilli sauce on fish and chips. What is tomato sauce? No, even tomato. I do.

Fish and chips. Sweet chilli sauce on fish and chips. I have hot sauce on fish and chips. No. Mayo. Mayo. Garlic mayo on fish and chips. Mayo and sweet chilli.

That's all you need for fish and chips. Sweet chilli. Tomato sauce. Get out of here. You're on your own. I hate it. I never touch it. Yeah, but.

Controversial, I know. Very controversial. It's a very controversial. And you know, I hate the, what is it? The reduced cream onion dip too. Yeah. So your Kiwi card's been revoked. Yeah, go back to where you came from.

Here? That's not what I meant. Go back to New Plumber. Go back to New Plumber. Go back to New Plumber. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. What's that sound? ZM's. $100,000 secret sound.

With Save My Bacon. All thanks to Save My Bacon, making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. Soundkeeper Gary, good morning. Good morning, guys. I've been doing the maths. Okay. And a brand new Tesla. Yep. $75,900.

We're that close to being able to buy a brand new Tesla. Does that excite you as much as it excites me? You really want a Tesla, do you? Do you know how I feel about Elon, about Teslas, the whole shebang? I'm a big fan. Well, you could buy an economical Suzuki Swift and then have money left over. What about a Model 3? Couldn't you get a Model 3 for like 70, aren't they 70 something?

What about a Nissan Leaf? Now, a Nissan Leaf is an affordable fully electric. Does that open when you walk up to it with your phone? It does if you put your hand in the handle. It will open you. It will open the door, I believe, yeah. They look great. Go the Leaf.

Well, either way, it is a lot of money. $70,000 is our current jackpot. And vying for that cash this morning. Jane, how are you? I'm good. Alright, so Jane, have you watched the video that Gary made? I've watched everything

over and over again. I've been waking up early and trust me, I'm not a morning person. Well, it's paid off because you've got through, Jane. You've poured over that video. That sound is somewhere in that video. For $70,000 cash, Jane,

what is the ZM secret sound? I think it's someone catching an apple and biting into it. Right. A lot of apples in that video, weren't there, Gary? There was. We've just got a lot of apples around the studio it. Right. A lot of apples in that video, weren't there, Gary? There was. We've just got a lot of apples around the studio lately. Yeah.

So someone catching an apple and did you say biting into it? Yes. So catching and bite. Yeah. Do you inhale before you eat something? Me. Well, everybody.

Not gasping inhale. I know some people who do. Through the nose, don't you? Or maybe they were excited that they caught it. You're true. Good point. I caught it. Jane.

Jane, that is not what the secret sound is. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Over the last 10 years, so take that into account because that's a long time. 10 years, Graham has built himself a house. Okay. He has little to no DIY experience. D-Y-I? No.

D-Y-I. DIY. Do your information. DIY. Do it yourself. He's got little to no DIY. Yeah. He did it all from YouTube tutorials.

A whole house. Yep. And now he owns a five-bedroom house. Yep. And he only spent 140140,000 on it. And he said it's worth significantly more than that. I think you're going to buy a house from someone who built it themselves off YouTube. Like, that's not a registered master builder, is it?

No. No. But he used to get everything ticked off. True. I guess the council would have to come around, wouldn't they? Yeah, and inspect all the different stages of work. And he would have had to have learned how to present the paperwork to show that. Yeah, right.

You know, the engineering's all up to scratch. He said he learned most of YouTube skills like roofing, plastering, a bit of brick work. He did the brick laying because it's a brick house. Yeah. He did the brick laying. This all started when house. Yeah. He did the brick laying. This all started when he was talking to a builder because he wanted to build a house and the prices were too much for him. And the builder said anyone could build their own house if they really wanted to and put their mind to it as a joke.

And he's like, challenge accepted. And he's like, done, I'll do it. Wow. Yeah. So he built the whole house. The first things he built were the two other buildings on the property, which is a garage, but there's also an outside room, there's a gym room and a TV room in the outside part.

So I guess that's where he had somewhere to live. Yeah, right. And worked on it, but he kept his other job. And then just over 10 years just kind of tinkered away at it. Yep. Who lives there? Because it's five bedrooms. His family, yeah.

Him and his wife. And buying an already built house wasn't a, yeah. That's a patient wife. I don't know how, you know, like I even think back on, and I know your dad was the same and your dad, all of our dads were the same. They had other jobs, but they were doing a bit of renos at home and it took years.

Oh, our house, he'd build it after work. So we lived in an unfinished house for literally all the time. Mum and dad have only just finished the bathroom a couple of years ago. And when did they start it? When we moved in when I was 11. Right. You just get used to it. Like you just get used to not having.

But I think now if that was the case, Shade would lose her mind. Exactly. Because you just want to live in a completed house. Yeah. How did our mothers do it? Also, the fact that that guy, he would have been, all his spare time, you imagine, he would have been doing it.

Yeah. And then he'd be like, but when are we going to have time together? Well, come and grab a hammer, love. We've got some nails to put in the jib before we plaster it. But then now they've got a house that didn't cost them much. Yeah. So you're going to make a lot of money off of that.

So 140 is what it costs them. The average house sale in the area, but not as big a house. Yeah. So the average house is more three bedroom, but this is five with all these extras. We're going for 450,000 pounds. Wow. So then he's going to make 400 pounds.

But that's... What? 400,000 pounds. Wow. So then he's going to make 400 pounds. But that's... What? 400,000 pounds. 400,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just thought... Mass is real bad. But he also said he wants to retire there.

Oh, right. Because he's done one of those bathrooms without the lip to get into the shower. Oh, so you can wear a lame on your stroller. So you can shuffle in when you're an old person. Oh, you're nice. See, a little shuffle in there. Yeah, right. To risk slipping over. Good on him you can wheel in on your stroller. So you can shuffle in when you're an old person. Oh, you're nice. See, a little shuffling. Yeah, right.

To risk slipping over. Good on him. Yeah. Good on him. But see, I've had a tinker on YouTube to fix the odd thing,

but I don't know if I'd back myself to build a house. No way. Not off YouTube. It's when my car stereo wasn't working. I was like, I'll just

see if I can find it on YouTube. I was like, but how many 2003 specific Honda Acc records of this model? But I found the exact car. And some dude just literally was like, this is how you get the front off, pop. Yeah. And your car hasn't caught on fire yet, has it?

No. It has not been on fire. And you would have saved like a few hundred bucks, right? I would imagine so. Because I'd imagine it's kind of fun. Because you feel like you've achieved something. Yeah. Because a female friend of mine

replaced the indicator stick. I actually don't know what happened to the original one, but the whole, you know, the whole argument flipped. Was she coming up to the intersection and she got shitty and yanked it off? Yeah, or ripped it off. Bought a new one of those and on YouTube found out how to install it,

replace the whole indicator stick thing and save money and save money okay well I think this morning we should take some calls on the things you've taught yourself on YouTube

that saved you money yeah like I don't know if anyone would have bought a house built a house with YouTube I wouldn't be surprised

if people had or at least done a tree heart even full renovations themselves. I reckon people would have taught themselves renos. Definitely, like plastering and painting and that kind of thing. Oh God, tiling. That would stress me out because when I see uneven tiles, I couldn't live with that.

If I had done that myself, I'd have to rip them down and start again. So a guy has built a house by teaching himself how to build a house on YouTube. We want to know what you've saved money on by watching YouTube. Like, you just did it yourself. You're like, I can do this. I got this. This does come with a warning, though. It does.

Somebody said, I text messaged and I taught myself how to make professional style cakes from YouTube. Now I regret it because every birthday, Christmas or family gathering, I'm tasked with the responsibility of a cake. And everyone wants it for free. No, no, no. It's family. They don't want to pay.

They especially don't want to pay what it's worth. Contribution. I'd pour a packet of salt in it and that would stop the requests instantly. Yeah. Stop them instantly. We'll take some calls. Catherine, what did you teach yourself to save money on YouTube? Oh, it was my son, actually, Jacob.

And he decided that, you know, he's doing an apprenticeship. He hasn't got much money. So he thought he would change his brake pads. Oh, okay. So he taught himself on YouTube. Yes. Okay. And did he save money?

He did. Right. Did they stop? They stopped. It was a bit of a scary mother moment, I'll be honest. The car was at the top of a hill. Well, no, don't test it at the top of a hill, Jacob. Yeah, yeah. It was not the most pleasant moment of my life,

but he was pretty proud of himself. Right. Yes, so are you two. And were these brakes changed on your car or his? No, no, no, on his car. Yeah, you wouldn't be letting him touch it. He's like, Mum, I want to change my brake pads, but I want to try it on your car first from the top of this hill.

Catherine, thanks for your call. Christian, what did you teach yourself on YouTube to save money? Well, I didn't exactly teach myself on YouTube. This is 1990, so a little bit before that, but just relating to your story, my stepfather spent nine years

renovating our family home, and as he went down to buy the last piece of wood basically to finish it off it was a bit of wood for a windowsill he had a massive heart attack at the at the building supply place and never came home and never got to sit back and enjoy the finished house which was a bit sad so yeah but bit sad but with my great uncle who was an ex-shippy and well into retirement age we just got stuck in and finished the house for him.

So it's more of a shout-out to him, really, in his memory. Wow. Jeez. But you didn't know what you were doing? I didn't know what I was doing, no. I mean, obviously, I had my great-uncle there to sort of kind of give us some steerage and help get the place finished. But, yeah, it was just a bit of a shitter

to sort of watch him go through that. And, you know, we lived, obviously, without a kitchen, without a toilet for a while, et cetera, et cetera. And then, yeah, he just never really got to see it done. So I know that's not exactly kind of the YouTube thing you were looking at, but it was just, you know, sort of in relation to that story, yeah. Yeah, cool. Christian, thanks for your call.

Donna, what did you teach yourself of YouTube to save money? I taught myself to change my iPhone screen, and it took me five hours. I had to do it twice. And then when I got it off, I discovered that it was actually my protective thing had a big scratch in it, and I didn't actually have to replace it.

Oh, don dons. Don don't. Don't, don't. Don't, don't. But at least you know now how to change a phone screen. I do. I did it a second time and I got it down to three hours. And now you've got an extra screen. I do.

Yeah, but that $100 you pay at those shops, those little kiosky shops, I think that's probably still more worth your hourly rate, isn't it? Yeah. Like six hours. But now that you know how to do it, you could probably get it done in an hour, right? Yeah, yeah, that's right. You're ready for next time. I'm charging soon.

Keep going. Donna, thanks. You called some text messages. I'm a software engineer and I built my own home with the help of YouTube. Total house build, $45,000, which is, Wow. Even if that was a small home, that's a phenomenal saving.

Yeah. Somebody else said, I replaced the in-sync writer and the kitchen mixer. Ooh, okay. I rebuilt a car engine because I blew a head gasket. The part cost me $2.50 and it worked.

I had an ice cream container of nuts and bolts left at the end, but it still worked. Oh my God. They should have gone back in. That's different when you're putting together, like, a flat-packed piece of furniture.

You're like, oh, they must have just chucked a couple of extra bits in. That's why I've got something left. You're putting the car back together that you took apart and there's parts missing. You're going to have a Jacob down the hill, I reckon. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Black out, boo, man. This is why. Fact. This is why. and Megan, the podcast. Blackout movement. This is why.

Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. Well, this is why I'm fat.

It's a segment of the show. We look at new food items, new... Nomi food items. Nomi food items that have been introduced in New Zealand around the world. And, wow, you may have saw this online. I've seen this online last night. You got so excited you forgot what it was.

I'm actually celebrating. I'm actually celebrating. You might have saw this. You might have saw this last night. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen what you've done. It was floating around last night.

It was announced yesterday that McDonald's are now doing 50-pack McNuggets. Just have a think about that, Frizzy. 50. 50 packs of nuggets. That's enough for one person. If you sat down and put your mind to it, if you're really hungry. 20. Because I've done a 20-pack. When I've been in America, I think they sell 20 packs. Do they sell 20 hungry. 20. I reckon 20. Because I've done a 20 pack.

When I've been in America, I think they sell 20 packs. Do they sell 20 packs here? I'm not sure. Yeah. I remember doing 20 and I was like, oh, I need a rest

at the end of that. I could do 20, I reckon, with no chibis. Current world record, Nader Retta ate 150 McNuggets in 58 minutes. That's three boxes.

Wow. Well, it's called a share box. Yeah, because you're meant to share. You're meant to share, but I mean, I reckon you'd share that

with one other person and you'd probably, that'd be your dinner, right? You're sure it's not a share, Joan? Like, that sort of share box. Share.

No. Share box. Their messaging is very clear that they'd like more than one person to eat 50 McNuggets. So they are launching from today. I don't have the price for the 50 McNugs. I'm not seeing that on this news article that I'm reading.

But in other news, for Rick and Morty fans, New Zealand is getting Szechuan sauce. Szechuan dipping sauce, which is mentioned throughout Rick and Morty. It was originally a dipping sauce that came out with a Moulin Happy Meal. It's like a rich, plum, peppery dipping sauce. I've got some. I've got four.

Because yesterday, 50 nuggets arrived at work and there was no sauce and we all flew into a frenzy, didn't we? We were like chickens with a fox in the hen house. How can you drop us off

50 nugs with no sauce? Fletch was like, get them out. I'm not eating them. Literally. No, I just wanted to go to the studio because out. I'm not eating them. Literally. Well, no, I just went on the back of the studio because the smell was overpowering me. 20 minutes later, a safe arrived.

And we opened it and inside was the Szechuan sauce. And then I was like, bring the nuggets back in. I shall eat them. Now, it's not like if you just want to try a Szechuan sauce. It's like a delicious Chinese peppery sauce. It's amazing. And it'sery sauce. It's amazing. And it's limited release. It's going to be available from today.

Yeah. But I think they worked out. You can just buy a Sichuan sauce, by the way. Not the exact dipping sauce. It's not the same, but you can get it. Do you know, in America, it's gone nuts. Like it's sold out like in a day and people were selling this on eBay.

Wow. For like hundreds of dollars. Just like a couple of little pottles of dipping sauce. Like that's how crazy it goes. I think they've worked out on average there's one for every 25 people in New Zealand. So I'll give it till lunchtime.

And then it'll be gone. So if you're a Rick and Morty fan, a fan of the sauce. And you want to try the sauce that's always mentioned. Yeah, that's out today as well. And another reason. Fat. This is why.

This is why. Fat. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I just said men are more likely to die from this than women. It's actually surprising to me. I don't know why. I don't want to be accused of being sexist.

Gun shots. I think both sexes would be equal there. Men would be in the firing line more. Oh, maybe. Just pure numbers. Okay. Sure. Not ratio of people shot to people who died of shot.

It's not that then? It's not. No, okay. Not from gunshot. Well, it might be that as well. Yeah, no, yeah. Fair call. Okay, investigate that

for another time. Heart attacks or playing squash at lunchtime? Oh, kind of heart attack. Not really. Kind of. Okay.

I always remember hearing that you don't underestimate a game of squash. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that too. It kills a lot of accountants on their lunch break, doesn't it?

Yeah, sure. I haven't done any physical exercise for 15 years, but I'll get out there and play squash. I got scared of squash by that urban legend that the squash ball can suck your eyeball out. Oh, yeah. That's good stuff.

Yeah. Like, it hits in there and then goes. Yeah. Well, that's why I gave up squash. That's what all the accountants were dying of. The eyeball. The eyeball. Your squash ball would suck it,

and then they would just drain right Right. Out their eye hole. Men who have been in a relationship for a long time are particularly susceptible. Right. That's you Vaughn. Oh my god. It's called broken heart syndrome and men are more likely to die from a broken heart than women. Than women.

Huh. So it's especially bad obviously if you've been in a relationship for a long time and then you're then you often hear about the female of the partner dying. Yep. And then the husband will die 10 days later or something. Like the notebook or something. That's literally broken heart syndrome. Stress of loss can trigger heart bulge.

Probably because these old mates don't know how to do anything. No, that's the other thing. Like, you know, they're 80, they're like, oh God, I thought I'd go first. I'm out.

I don't know how to do any of this. Yeah. So, it literally creates a big bulge in the left ventricle when you have broken heart syndrome.

Right. Which is one of the main parts to the heart. And then, it makes the heart look a bit like a round-bottomed, narrow-necked bottle. And you just die.

Great. Okay, well, this is all great news for guys. So I actually don't know how you're supposed to go about avoiding that. Avoiding that. Just don't break up. Yeah. Or she's going to die before you. Go first.

Go first. Yeah, she's looking a little bit crock. Just party hard. Go out with a bang. Heroin. Like, I don't know if you can get that in a rest home, how hard that is to get. Do everything that you've always wanted to try.

Yeah, just so you go out first. She's like, you're like, oh, is it heroin time? Shade says, Vaughan, we're not even 40. Why are we living In a rest time I go like I don't know It just seemed like A logical step

But if you're about to go Let's go crazy Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM Went to the Gym Yesterday

Okay After work Right Trying to I'm just working on my fitness Yeah Can I get a witness Vaughan actually Fergie Ferg once said We had a talk about that We talked about some workouts They got rid of me After work. Right. Trying to, I'm just working on my fitness. Yeah. Can I get a witness?

Vaughn and I actually, we talked about some workouts yesterday. They got rid of me. Well, we talked about one because they got rid of the ab machine I like. Because you can sit down and do it. That's why I liked it. You were sitting down. It's a bit strenuous on your back though, that one, isn't it? But that's apparently why. Right.

They got rid of it. Right. Because people weren't using it properly and they were hurting themselves. Yeah. And then I said well you can just use the cable pull down and get on your knees. Yeah I tried that I looked a little bit dumb. Right. Which is my major concern. And then I caught myself and asked

having a conversation about the gym and I was like this is weird. And the boss walked in just as he said now you get on the ground and you put your hands up and grab it and then just stick your ass out and pull it. And he was like, it's an interesting conversation. Yeah, it was the gym. Gym chat bra.

Gym bra. Gym bra. But it wasn't gym bra. I got to the gym yesterday and I don't know why, something had agitated my throat and I couldn't stop coughing. Yeah. And I was in the bathroom getting changed. Yeah. And I couldn't stop coughing. Yeah. And I was in the bathroom getting changed. Yeah. And I couldn't stop coughing and

it got to the point where I was coughing so much. What's that? I was going to say, you're not a quiet cougher. I'm not a quiet cougher. Vaughn's like... Even if it's just a one-off a bit of a... You give one of those. You're going to make yourself sick. That's what happened. I started coughing so much I couldn't stop. I was like

You know those coughs that make it sound like you're going to make yourself sick. That's what happened. I started coughing so much I couldn't stop. I was like, ugh. You know those coughs that make it sound like you're going to spew? Yeah. And then I just could not stop it. And I was taking little sips of water. And then afterwards, I was like, ugh. Now, it's not a great time to be coughing uncontrollably, given the current climate.

No, it's not. Was this in the main gym or still in the changing room? No, it was still in the changing room. Right. And I realised that it's all tiled. Yeah. And I've heard when I'm filling up the water bottle outside, I've heard people coughing. And I'm like, man, that sounds atrocious.

And I knew I was coughing at least twice as loud. Yeah. And I couldn't stop. And then I came out and I was like watering from the eyes and I was like. I think you call that crying. No, because it wasn't crying. It was like a watery eye from

coughing so much. It wasn't. I was like the coughs won't stop. And the lady who had literally just cleaned my changing room and looked at me and then went back and cleaned it, went back in to clean it again.

I wouldn't be going back in there. No. I wouldn't either. And then I went out into the main area and I thought, well, I'm going to have a coughing fit.

I'm going to need to warm up with a little bit of cross trainer. Okay. To not like, because you don't puff as hard. Like if you do treadmill, then your breathing gets going. Yeah.

So I'm on that and it hits me again. Right. And I'm like coughing into a towel. And that looks, you're always like. And everybody's looking and I'm coughing. And then I realize it looks like I'm coughing all over the equipment. Yeah.

And then I take it down and the woman next to me, I said, it's not corona, which is what you'd say if you had corona. And she went beep and pressed the stop button and left the machine beside me. So then I went back into the bathroom and I had to have like just a relaxing semi-meditation. Right, okay. To get the coughs to stop. But then when I went back out, nobody wanted to be near me anyway, so I don't know if there was room to go around.

I'm surprised you didn't get like a shoulder tap from some of the staff or something. Yeah. Like, hey, are you feeling okay? Maybe you should take yourself home. Because a lot of gyms have said if you're feeling sick, don't go. Well, you shouldn't go to a gym if you are feeling sick because, like, you cough, you touch everything. But people are a bit on edge at the moment and understandably so.

A woman was on a plane and she was hungover and tired and they were like, you're sick. Corona. She's like, no, I'm just hungover. They're like, no, you're not. You've got corona. She's like, no, I'm hungover and very tired. Wow.

And so there's things like that happening all the time. Wow. The self-isolation, the panic. Yeah. I might say I think the panics in my life anyway from what I've seen has stepped down a notch this week. And it wasn't your step down asking

you to... Oh, that guy loves panicking. His main hobby is panicking. What did he ask you? Oh, if we've got sufficient supplies for four weeks. That's twice as long as all the professionals are saying. Yes, but they're underestimating it.

But they're the professionals. We simply must. He's a step away from saying coronavirus is a man-made nanobot technology triggered by 5G. That's the sort of crazy panic man he is. People are saying that. What the hell?

They're the same people that won't vaccinate and they're the same people that... Do you need to have 5G on your phone? Because I don't have it. No, no, it's just the towers. Oh, okay. It's the towers. What?

No, no, no, no. It's not the towers. It's nothing. It doesn't exist. What they believe is it's the towers. Flesh, Vauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM.

What's that sound? ZM. $100,000 secret sound. With Save My Bacon. Thanks, Save My Bacon. Making borrowing better for financially responsible Kiwis. The jackpot is $70,000. Are we due another jackpot, Soundkeeper Gary?

Oh, what's going on over here? You missed the deal. We made a deal, remember? We've got to wait. Oh, that's right, I forgot. We've got a jackpot. I'm just getting excited. You want that Tesla, don't you?

You want that Tesla Fletch? Well, I can't win, can I? Oh, that's right. I don't care what they spend their money on. There's already enough money in there for two Nissan Leafs. Is there actually? Is that how much Nissan Leafs cost? Well, if you buy a second-hand Nissan Leaf.

If you buy a brand new Nissan Leaf, they're quite expensive. Okay, right. I should do some research in the last hour. All right, so $70,000 is on the line. William, good morning. Hey, what's up? All right. Hey, William.

William, all right, you sound like you're ready to give this a go um have you seen the video uh yep okay and is your guess in that video the sound you see it uh pretty sure yeah okay pretty sure well this is the secret sound for seventy thousand dollars william seventy thousand What do you think the secret sound is? Is it like popping off the lid of a sealed jar of honey and then like taking off the plastic wrap around the lid? Okay, that would explain either, but you can hear the plastic at the end.

That kind of does sound like plastic. Like breaking the, yeah, opening a new jar of honey or something. Trying to picture it. What kind of jar are we talking? I don't know. Like the ones with metal lids that you have to like sometimes get a knife to like pop open. You know, the jar you use to make the sound, Gary. Well, William,

based on Megan's comment, that is not the secret sound. Boo! Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. It turns out that the typical 18 to 34-year-old, there's 76% of them want to meet people organically rather than dating apps and online dating.

Is that just because it's easier when someone says, how did you meet? You don't have to say Tinder? Or Bumble? No, because you just find people that want to hook up, right? They're just like hook-up apps. Yeah, right. Do we reach peak and then we're kind of teetering off a bit?

For like relationships. Yeah, maybe. Maybe not dating apps anymore. So I found this list of the top four places. This is specifically to meet women. Okay. So anyone who wants to meet a woman. A woman.

A woman. Plural, singular. This is... Well, whatever you're into. Okay, sure. I'm not wants to meet a woman. A woman. A woman. Plural, singular. This is, well, whatever you're into. Okay, sure. I'm not here to shame you. Top four places. And number one's weird. And that's what we want to talk about this morning

because I don't know if this is possible. But a couple of these are actually quite genius. Okay. Including number four, clothes shopping. Who, I love a bit of clothes shopping. Who, I love a bit of clothes shopping. And you would say if we were going to generalise, guys I have a different way of shopping.

You go in there with a purpose. Yep. We like to zigzag around and float and peruse. But when I went shopping with Fletch, he goes in with a purpose. He needs to make a whole outfit and then he's done. Yep. Whereas I'm like that's a cute top. I'll buy that.

And I show you a pair of shorts and you're like what am I going to wear with that? I'm like I don't know. You'll figure it out later. Buy it and figure it out later. I've got to figure it out then. Don't I? You're very direct. Very like decisive and then you're out. But who are you meeting when you're shopping? The people working there? Or other

shoppers? No. Fem females who are like perusing. Right. We're relaxed. We're enjoying ourselves because it's like, I'm generalising. How, for example, how are you meant to start a conversation with a woman who is in the women's section of the clothing store and you just happen to be there? Yeah.

Oh, how is your day going? Do you think this blouse looks good on me? I don't know. Like, just think about that, Megan, for a second. Yeah, actually, I'm trying to think about where you'd go where, like, guys could literally be at the same rack as you.

The accessories? The warehouse. No, those are separate changing rooms. So recently made a purchase Well no yeah it could be it could be oh yeah no I don't know

But then if they want to wear a chick's blouse like what's good for Harry Styles is good for Well yeah you wouldn't be complaining if

Harry Styles was trying on a blouse would you What's good for Harry Styles is good for Barry Miles of Toton If Barry wants

to wear a blouse Our names rhyme so I wear bloody pearl necklaces now too. This is for doing a ride with the ladies. Oh, I want Barry to wear a pearl necklace. So do I. Just express yourself, Barry. I just want Barry to be happy. Yeah, same.

So yeah, clothes shopping is number four. Number three on the best places to meet women, at an evening class. They have suggested dancing classes because generally there's more women and if there's guys there, they're already engaged to probably learning a wedding dance. So there's not a lot of competition. I mean, start before you've even met them.

Start planning your wedding before you've even met them. No, as in the guys that will be there are already taken. Right. So the single women are like there for you. Oh, right. Okay, I see. So like pick a class that's really popular with women and go along to an evening class.

Yeah, right. You don't have to tell them why you're really there. Explain that later on. Number two is in the library. I mean, I would probably be focused on what I'm doing. Last time I went into the library, it was just backpackers stealing free internet. Yeah.

I can't remember the last time I went into a library. Full stop. And number one. You didn't even know we had them. I don't know where they are. Last year. There's one in the city somewhere. Yep.

Yeah. They're all over the place, Megan. You'd be amazed. Do people still have cards? Yeah. Good stuff. That's good stuff. Now that's good stuff.

And number one on the best places to meet women is apparently public transport. You're stuck in a vessel. See, I think in big cities, like imagine somewhere like New York or London where everyone's on the tube or the underground, then yes. But I feel like maybe in New Zealand's biggest cities, yes.

But I don't know but then also we live in a culture now where everyone's got the headphones in heads down don't talk to me yeah

but you can still like eye contact and then like a little smile and then like a what's your name and I don't know it doesn't have to all be like chatting

I've had that happen to me on a bus someone's smiling at me what's your name do you want to be my mummy I was like oh I'm I'm okay I've had that happen to me on a bus. No, you haven't. Someone smiling at me. What's your name? Do you want to be my mummy? I was like, oh, I'm okay. And he was very persistent. Yeah, he was in a sparkly uni-tard.

Right, okay. I don't know how. He wasn't the bus driver taking your fare, was he? No, no, no. No, okay. He had poop in his pants, as I recall. It was a whole thing. Like a hod.

It was a whole interesting bus ride. You're selling public transport to me. Happy March Madness, everybody, who's on the bus. That's what we call it. It's the number one place to meet people, apparently. If this is the number one place to meet people, I want to open up the phone lines and text messages now. Have you ever met someone on public transport?

0800-D at M 9696 I definitely saw some hotties on the tube in London, but yeah, not. But would you, if you were single, would you talk to them and give them a wink? Nah. Not that forward. And they're not giving me winks. You're not supposed to laugh.

And if they are, they've probably just got a titch. Like, it's an accident. A tick. A tick. A titch. A titch. Like, it's an accident. A tick. A tick. A tick. A titch. A titch. No, it's like a twitch. Yeah, okay. A twitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a tick. A tick. They might have a tick. It's one or the other. Okay, 0800 dials at M. I don't know if

this is going to happen in New Zealand. To be honest. Yeah. Because we're not big public transporters. We want to know if you've ever met anybody on public transport. This is apparently the number one place to meet people that isn't online. Yeah, because a massive percent of 18 to 34-year-olds don't want to meet people on dating apps or anything anymore. They want it to be organic.

Organic. But then we've heard from people on a couple of text messages like this. Somebody said, my friends and I call these people bus pervs. That doesn't sound positive. They try to spark up a bus or train conversation when they're in Wellington. They're not interested. They call them bus pervs. Yeah, see, that's the thing.

It's like, it is a bit weird. You just had a hard day at work. You don't want to be talking to someone unless they're hot. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's pervy until they're hot and then you're into it. Hey, welcome to life. Sharon, did you meet someone on the bus? I didn't really meet him.

He kind of asked me out on the bus, but I wasn't really interested. Now, I can hear windscreen wipers going, so you've taken to personal transport now because of that. Yeah, he put me off that bad. Really? He kind of... I could hear him from the back of the bus going, hey, hey, and I was like, oh, please don't be talking to me.

And then he's like, hey, girl with the white jumper on. I was like, oh, crap. That's really specific to me. That's also not a... He's like, what are you up to? And I'm like, uh, right. Wait, at this stage, is he still yelling from the back of the bus? Yes.

Oh, wow, okay. Yeah. And as he's getting off the bus, he's like, do you want my number? I'm like, not really. It hasn't been, so far you haven't really sold yourself, champ. Yeah. And he's like, this is your last chance. I'm leaving now.

Do you want my number? No, thank you. Last chance, June, from the back of the bus. Last chance, white sweatshirt. Oh, my God. Brilliant. Hiya, Sharon. Thanks for your call.

Andrea, your parents met on public transport. Yeah, good morning, guys. They met on the Devonport Ferry. Oh, that's nice, though. How lovely, eh? How long ago did they meet? I'm way out of your demographic, so I'm in my late 50s. Andrea, we will take whatever we can get, baby.

It's a psychographic. I love your morning show. It keeps a smile on my face. Thank you. So how long ago? So it would have been more than 60 years ago. Oh, God, it would have been shillings and a thruppence. Yeah.

I went on the Devonport Ferry the weekend. It was $5. I nearly had a mini stroke. $5? Yeah. Each way. Yeah. That's not too bad.

Yeah, that's all right. You've not sat in Devonport traffic before. Oh, yeah. I'd still pay $5. But just to know it was a shillings and a thruppence. A thruppence and a shrapents. A shrapents and a truppets and a crown. Yeah, all those years ago.

It was a cheap day. How did that go? Was there a little bit of turbulence, or whatever they call it? A wave. And your mum fell backwards and your dad was like, I've got you, darling. Yeah, we can save that, yeah. And then at the end, did they have to wait for those bloody cyclists to get their bicycles off slowly? Well, you have to take the romance out of everything.

Everybody was riding their penny farthings. Excuse me, I must move my penny farthing. Andrea, thanks. You're called Stacey. Did you meet someone on public transport? Yeah, I was out for a Halloween party back in uni, and we were on the same drunk bus home, and I was wearing his favorite sports jersey, and so that's how the conversation got started.

Oh, okay. And then what was he dressed as? A banana. Yes, your favorite potassium-rich fruit. It was a match made in heaven. All the fruit bowl. And are you still together now? No, we dated for six months.

Oh, okay. Six months. That's good. That's a decent run. By then, I bet he was all brown and... And muffins and a smoothie. Don't throw away your old banana, mate. Just to get a bit spotty.

My banana that I've got in my lunchbox today, look how yuck it is. Nah, that's good. I'll swap you. Are you kidding me? Would you eat that? It's got like dents from it's hit something in your bag. I'll swap you. Why don't anyone spec that bruise at the bottom?

That's nasty. See, I prefer a real firm, nice banana. I'll swap you. See, I reckon tomorrow this would be my best banana. No, but the thing is, I bet you won't eat this. Let me inspect it. Let me inspect it. We've spoken about this.

This is one of those off-air conversations we can have. This is a big, now this bruise here is my issue with this. Otherwise, that's all good. Okay, yeah, right. Until there. You're touching that way too seductively. That, my liking. Let me give that a thorough inspection. You're touching that way too seductively. That's my liking. Let me give that a thorough inspection.

You're still sealed at the top though. Yep. Still sealed. I think that'll be a good banana for you. That's my only concern. You can eat around that. That's fine. I've got to slice it and I put it in my porridge.

I think we need to move on. Do we think we've talked about bananas enough? Let's revisit this at 9am. Okay. We'll cut it open and I'll make a an internal inspection. Right, okay. Good to know. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. It's time for Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Today. Now, it must have been Monday we talked about pyjamas. Yes. And I said tomorrow's fact of the day can be why we call them pyjamas. And then I totally forgot.

Yeah. But we're here and it's Wednesday. Close enough. So today's fact of the day is where does the word pajamas come from? Pajamas translates to pie, one word, space, jamas, which are loose trousers tied at the waist. Okay. From where? This is from the Middle East.

Okay. From where? This is from the Middle East. Okay. India across to modern day Iraqi area. Right. What was that called back in the day? Mesopotopia. Okay. And what? I've never heard that before. It means between two rivers.

Right. It's Mesopotopia. It was like a lot of civilization started out there. Fertile lands, Megan. Agricultural when we started planting and farming animals. First John Deere tractors from there. It's little known. John Deere.

Yeah. Sure. It's a little known fact that. It's a bonus. But pajamas actually means paw, leg, jama, clothing. Leg clothing. Okay, and I guess because it was from that area, it would need to be loose-fitting

because it's very warm. Very hot, yeah. In some areas, it would be quite cold. I swear by those pants we bought in Cambodia. I would love to go there. There's a fisherman pant, and that's where you tie it around the waist. It's a loose fitting leg situation, much like a pajama pant.

All those ones that we called hammer pants. And they're very, you tie them at the top and they're elasticated around the ankle. And then there's just, they're just so. A lot of flap. Flappy and fluffy. Do you actually wear those here? Pardon me? Oh, they ripped.

They got thrown away. I think Sade ripped them. Yeah, because I remember you wanting to buy multiple pairs, and Sade was like, no. They were such a great weekend pant. Get up. Well, that's what track pants are for. But they were a track pant, but with more floof.

They were lighter, weren't they? A lighter floof. They were like a size. It's too hot in the summer months to get up and put on a track pant. Yeah. You're immediately experiencing quite the scrotal sweat. Yeah. And when I was wearing my fluffy pyjama MC Hammer pants.

Yeah. The circulating air just walking caused the bellows in your legs to just, air was circulating. Well, maybe you should go back to Cambodia or Thailand and buy some more. Throughout. Yeah, I'd probably be able to find them here if you looked hard enough. Okay. Yeah, but that covers why pyjamas are the pant.

But we're just pyjama tops. We jam on the top. Yeah. Now, I searched what the Persian word for arm was, thinking of leg clothing, arm clothing, but Google Translate won't do the word. It's got it in the local language. Serif. But it won't also do that thing.

It's not serif. It's Tahoma. Windings. Well. Is it windings? That's offensive. A little bit. A little bit offensive.

But it doesn't have the speaking one. You know how you can see it written in another language? Like in Japanese, you can see the Japanese symbols written. You're like, well, I can't read Japanese. Mate, it's okay, mate. You okay? Aw. You need a hug?

Very emotional. You're very emotional about language. But it won't pronounce it for me. Right, okay. So I don't know how to say arm. Okay. We could then add do-ja-ma. Why don't you copy it and then put in pronunciation

and then see if you get an audio thing. Good thinking from you. This is for off-air. No, no, no, no, no, no. Talk to me about what's for off-air. You were talking about bruises on your nannies before. Your banana. This is riveting chat.

How to pronounce. This is directly related to what we're talking about on here This is a Here we go Oh Hey there we go No but see I don't know if this is the exact copy paste Right okay

I pasted it but it could be a different word Right Okay Puzzle Puzzle Puzzle So puzzle jammer Right okay

That would be arm Arm jammer Arm clothing. Bazoojama. Here we go. So, next time someone's like, put on your pajama and your bazoojama, it's time for bed. Yeah. Yeah.

See? And then you'll have a cool story to tell. Yeah. Absolutely. I made that with more enthusiasm. The coolest story. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. So, today's fact of the day is pyjama means leg clothing. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. If you see a shady guy with a Dyson in tow, well, it must be time for Fletch Sucks. Oh, it is a return of Fletch Sucks.

And I tell you what, the people want this. Some have said every day. I said, that's too much. We can't do this competition every day. So just once a week. I think that's right. Your vacuum lives here at work now. Well, yeah, it's my second vacuum.

I've got two. This is my Kmart. Your vac up. I mean, I could be open to corporate sponsorship. No one's sponsoring this. Excuse mean, I could be open to corporate sponsorship. No one's sponsoring this. Excuse me, bitch. I'm right here. Okay, I'm going to fire up the vacuum.

This is the easiest competition ever. So I'm going to now suck part of my body with the vacuum cleaner. And you've got to call 0800-DIALS-A-DEM and tell us what part I'm sucking. Just call now and have a guess because they all sound the same.

I've got to get into position. Okay. Oh, that could be a clue. Oh. Again? Do it again? Slower. That wasn't slow at all.

I tried to go slower but the suction made it fast. Great ad for that, Vak. I'll try slower. Okay, so you can hear it, and then it gets to a point where there's full coverage. That's a good clue. I'm going to turn that off to save power. That was one of the company's major concern with this promo.

How much is it costing us in power to run a small, small electrical engine? Motor. Not engine. All right. Parminder, good morning. Morning.

All right. So what part of my body am I sucking? I think your lower back. My lower back. Morning. All right, so what part of my body am I sucking? I think your lower back. My lower back. Oh. Hell no. Sorry, Piminda.

Sorry about that, mate. All right, ruthlessly hanging out with people. Gavin, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good, thank you. What part of my body am I sucking? I reckon it's behind your knee. Oh, the back of the knee.

Have you ever been sunburned on the back of the knee, Gav? Oh, yes. Yeah, I think we all have. What a shocking place to get a bit of sunburn. Hell no! No, unfortunately, Gav, it's not. Selma, good morning. Good morning.

Now, what part of the body am I sucking? Your forehead? My forehead. Hell no! But I want to see that. Maybe. In an upcoming episode. In an upcoming episode, I'll do the forehead, Selma.

Okay. But unfortunately, no, it's not. Oh, $800 at M. $100 is up for grabs. Lee, good morning. Yes, it's not. Oh, $800 at M. $100 is up for grabs. Lee, good morning. Yes, morning. Morning. What part of the body am I sucking?

The top of your arm. The top of my arm. What are we talking, like the bicep up towards the shoulder, are we? What are you imagining there, Lee? I'm imagining the bit that sits along. So, like, if you had boobs, it would be, like, next to that. If you had boobs. The bicep?

Right. Where the sleeve ends. With the sleeve ends. With the sleeve ends, yeah. Hell no! No, sorry, Lee, it's not. We'll go to Amy. Amy, good morning. Hi, are you sucking your belly button?

My belly button. I'm just going to do this again. That would be a bit erotic. Isn't that an erogenous sign? Oh, the belly button. Hell no! Sorry, Amy. Sorry.

All right, should we do one more? Zara, good morning. Hello, good morning. Good morning. All right, what part of the body am I sucking with the vacuum cleaner? Your foot. My right. What part of the body am I sucking with the vacuum cleaner? Your foot. My foot. Oh.

Hell no! No. No. I think it's going to be a carryover. I think it's going to be a carryover tomorrow. That was a hard one. Tomorrow. We're doing this tomorrow.

Same time. Same place. Same network. Same channel. I mean, I enjoy myself. Now, while we're on the subject of this new feature, when's your new feature launching? I'm taking my time crafting something spectacular. You've got nothing, have you? Nothing. Brainstorms.

Because Vaughan came up with I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. That's been a runaway success. What am I sucking? Fletch sucks. This has happened. This is happening and it's, by all accounts, a raging success. Okay. No pressure. We've got no way of monitoring that.

Yeah, Colmar Brunton. Oh, they're running the polls. They've said... You just say stats and then you say Colmar Brunton. Hello, it's Colmar Brunton here. Just ringing, couple of questions. Who are you voting for this time around? Who's your preferred Prime Minister?

Do you want weed legalised? Or not. And then do you like the radio competition Fletch Sharks? And I'm actually the preferred Prime Minister. Yes. With this segment as well. Right. Which is great news.

Good for you. So we'll bring it back tomorrow with that $100 now becoming $200. And Megan, before the end of the week, we need another segment from you. Before the end of the week? Yep, absolutely. Oh, that's not happening if I were to tell you that. Flesh, fauna, Megan, the podcast, ZM. Lots of, I mean, unavoidable coronavirus chat everywhere at the moment.

There's the coronavirus handshake. Yes. Which is just coronavirus handshake. Yes. Which is just... With your feet. With your feet. Well, because people don't want to, like, handshake and touch each other now. Because you might get what they've got.

Yeah, so you just give a foot tap. Either or a wave. You do that. But another thing happening this year, and it might be, look, it might be under control. It might not be under control. But the Olympic Games are due to happen this year, and it might be, look, it might be under control. It might not be under control. But the Olympic Games are due to happen this year in Tokyo, which is in approximately July, August. July, August.

Yeah, right. That's their summer, right? It's the summer games. But. 24th of July. Right, that's the opening ceremony. Yeah, and ends on the 9th of August. Oh, that opening ceremony's going to

be on my birthday. Way to steal my thunder. You could pretend it's for you. That's true. Like a party. Sound like a parent

trying to explain why they're not going to be home for their kid's birthday. Just pretend I'm away getting a present or something.

Yay! So, there might be a crowdless Olympic Games. They want the Olympics to go ahead. There's never been, oh maybe like a World War. I think during the World War II. There was an

Olympics that didn't happen because everybody was too busy fighting. The Berlin Olympics? Fighting the Nazis. No, they had the Olympics. 1933 was the Berlin Olympics? The Olympic Games had the Olympics before. 1933 was the Olympics. So the Olympic Games have been cancelled before through World War. It happened in 1916, 1940 and 44. They've been played out under the, yeah.

Right. So was it 36 or 32 that they had them in Berlin? Because Hitler was in charge. Yeah. It might have been just before it all kicked off. But so they don't want to cancel it. So they're thinking that it might be, oh, just everything televised.

Right. But imagine being an athlete and feeding off the crowd, but then all of a sudden you're doing the 100-meter sprints and it's silence. I know. Imagine that. You think of when you watch the Olympics and it's those track and field days,

so there might be some javelin going on over here and 50K runs going on over here. And there's so many things happening in that stadium and it's just this intense white noise and cheering. It'd just be happening in silence. But then after they win, they run around with the flag on their back and everyone's like, yeah. You'd have none of that.

You run around being like, cool. Run around with a mask on. The IOC have insisted that the Tokyo 2020 Games will go ahead on time despite the outbreak. But there's also been talk that it could be postponed and happen any time in 2020. But then from an athlete's perspective, you've been, if you know that you're going to the Olympics, you are training to peak at that moment. You want to peak at the Olympics. So then what do you just have to...

Peak all year. Peak all year and then hope that by the time you get to the Olympics, you're peaking more than the other person that was meant to be peaking. Also, do they sell tickets to those? Yeah. Yeah, so that's how the host country makes their money, right? That makes a lot of money. That is the other thing.

Without all the tourism associated to the Olympics, you could never hope to claw back the cost of them. Well, it all lies in the hands of Dick Pound. It's an unfortunate name. Oh, Dick Pound. He's the International Olympic Committee member. Yeah. Does he decide?

Stop. I don't know if he decides, but he's the man that's been quoted everywhere as having to make the decisions and everything. Is it Richard Pound? No, it's Dick quoted everywhere. Okay. As having to make the decisions and everything. Is it Richard Pound? No, it's Dick Pound. Okay. Yeah.

He didn't think maybe I'll just try changing it to Richard. No, it's his name. We should all just grow up. Well, a lot of athletes are going to feel screwed if they can't go to the Olympics. Screwed by dick.