ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan’s Podcast - 15th June 2021

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

Jeff Bezos  Top 6: Friends Cruise  Patrick Gower  What did you spend your first Paycheck on?  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  The Impossible Phone-In TopicSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleeche Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have the headphones up. I didn't hear what he said. Oh my God. I didn't even have my headphones plugged in. You literally said, Vaughan, you talk about this. I was like, I've got no idea what you're talking about. We're going, you meant to throw to the producers. Hey guys, let's see what's happening in the producers booth. Oh my God. Jesus. What are we working with? I wasn't in my headphones. You're lucky you're cute. When he said, Vaughn, do you want to do this, why don't you say, I don't know what you're talking about?

Oh, I was just going to see what happened. I thought we could see what happened. Okay. This is the most exciting stuff, just seeing what happens. Yeah. Hey, what's happening in the producer's booth? He's such a cool dude. Hey, guys.

So there's something that I feel we need to discuss that occurred at the cafe this morning. I don't remember being offered a coffee run. I know that you had coffees, and I was like, excuse me. I ask you, like, every day, and I was like, no, I'm just going to go American Instant. I know. I say yes. Karwin didn't go today.

Karwin didn't go because Karwin, we both decided we weren't going to get anything from the cafe this week. Karwin has stuck to her guns. And you have not it is tuesday i have nailed i didn't do it yesterday that's good thank you thank you so i influenced jared to come with me instead and uh we went over the road and there was a gorgeous selection of brioches there i've been brioche free for like two and a half months now. They've changed the recipe and you need to get on board. It's so much better.

I know they've changed them. They're more like a brioche than a pastry. Yes. It's delicious. Is Jarrah going to come at us with never having had a brioche before? No. Okay. He's a dab hand at the brioches.

Yeah. But I really take issue with how he went about his brioche order because he said I'd like a brioche please and she said absolutely fine gets the tongs out and then he says no no not that one this one

I'm totally cool with that I owned a cafe and I'm totally cool with it in fact I used to ask people, is there a preference of what you're looking at? It was right at the front of the window. She had to do a contortionist move to get to it.

You choose. I'm on board with this. He's paying for it. Because you know the worst thing is if there's a slice and it's say it's a slice made in like a roundish edge tin, sometimes it'll curve up and there won't be as much icing on it. So I'll be like, not that one. But some people like the edge because of the chewiness.

Yes, because it's a bit crispier. But then I just like the pieces with the thickest icing. So I'm always like that one. Now, sexually, what attracted you to this brioche? It was a bit thicker than your average. Was there little bits of meat sticking out? I went for a vegetarian brioche today, but there was toppings galore.

Oh, the GF will be proud. Yeah, it was lush. Chasing them porbs. Mate, this is... Badass white brioches. Wow. Yeah. Okay, that's good.

You're good on board with that. I'm down with that. Good on you, yeah. I like when a cafe accommodates that without making a big deal about it, too. Yeah. Oh, she was irked. I'm down with that. I like when a cafe accommodates that without making a big deal about it too. Oh, she was irked. No, she wasn't. She was irked.

No, she was fine with it. She had to squeeze into the front of the cabinet. That's probably why. The only person who was offended was young Henvest over here. Yeah. I called under the table. Do you feel that you're just at the will of the shop? I do.

You're at the will of the cafe. No, you're paying for it. You choose. You're paying. You're the customer. You're the shop, you're at the will of the cafe, they choose. You're paying for it. You're the customer. You're always right. They're all there. No, I think if they were in an easy-to-reach spot, if they were on top of the cabinet,

okay, maybe, but just purely based on angles. It was early in the morning for her. She didn't want to start her day with a bloody rigmarole, and that's what she got. Did she have to restack the brioches afterwards? Did she have to shuffle a couple forward

and fill the gap? Yes, she did. I'm glad she did. That shows that she's committed to the task. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleets, Fawn and Megan. Two minutes past six.

Happy Tuesday. Thank you for the welcome to the show. I always wonder when you do the welcome to the show, are you welcoming us to the show or are you welcoming the listeners to the show? I'm welcoming the listeners. You have to be here contractually. Right. Welcome to the show, Fletch.

No one ever says welcome to you. No, they don't. They never do. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you, Megan. On the show today, we will give you another shot at the box. $20,000 cash, all thanks to Marvel Studios' Blake Widow.

So 7 and 8 o'clock this morning, and then again at midday, 4 and 5 if it's not guessed. So you've just got to give us that four-digit pin. It also spells a word, and we know that there is a 7 in there. And we, of course, yesterday had a clue at eight o'clock. This game is rather hard, so now I offer a boon. You are searching

for a secret word. It is coming soon. A boon? Yeah. Not a bone. A bone. Because when it was said yesterday,

it sounded like bone. B-O-O-N. You've seen the written clue. They're trying to rhyme that with coming soon. So I don't know if that means anything or helps you. With the box, 7 o'clock, your next shot at the cash. The top six is coming up.

Yeah, there's going to be a Friends-themed cruise. Required? No. Especially in the wake of COVID? Yeah. Double no. So that's coming up. We're going to look into the Friends cruise.

But next on the show, a petition has been started for richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, to do something. To buy something. Yeah. And then do something with that thing he's purchased. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. Jeff Bezos.

Bezos. Bezos. He's going to space, isn't he? Yes. Blue, what's his thing called? Blue. Lagoon. Blue orbit.

No, blue something. His space. Blue Powerade. It does look like a Blue Powerade. I was going to joke around because I knew it when you said it, and then the minute you said Blue Lagoon it went and disappeared from my mind. Blue Origin. I've just googled. And somebody spent... I was just mucking around

and my brain was like, well if you're not going to take this seriously, I'm not going to tell you. They offered an auction off a seat because he's going to space soon. $28 million that seat went for. So you can go to... Someone's going to space with Jeff Bezos. $28 million.

Also, he's risking to space with Jeff Bezos, $28 million. Also, he's risking it all, right? Like, you gotta risk it for the biscuit, baby. Like his Blue Origin rocket hasn't been up that much, has it?

Hasn't been tested. They'd have to be, they'd have to be, yeah, I don't want to do one of the first rides. You never do the first ride. You never update

your phone first. You wait for all the bugs. You always like, yep. There's just no way. You always wait. Yep. There's just no way. Especially space flight. Yeah. Because even Elon Musk, and this is why people are saying he's doing it,

he's just getting in there quick, because Elon actually hasn't been to space either. Yeah. And he's trying to beat him. Yeah. Because, you know, they're all in a big wang competition. Yeah. In the Millionaires Club.

The what? The Billionaires Club. The Billionaires. Yeah, exactly. So apparently, in other news, Jeff Bezos news, France is in debt. Oh, yeah. And apparently, they could be dug out of debt. They dug further into debt to help France through the pandemic.

Oh, yeah. They're further in debt. An online petition has started that Jeff Bezos buys the Mona Lisa off France. This is the painting. For an absurd amount of money. An absolutely absurd amount of money. Yeah.

And then he eats it. How good is that? That's so good. How good is that? Like, you ground it up right Could you put it in a blender with a smoothie So you wouldn't notice the Mona Lisa He paid whatever he wanted for it

So Just have a little bit each day Yeah Like break off a little bit So this is on change.org Yep And it says No one has eaten the Mona Lisa

And we feel Jeff Bezos needs to take a stand And make this happen. Gobble de Lisa. Gobble de Lisa. Gobble de Lisa. I feel like this is something society needs. Jeff, we need you to make this sacrifice to society to help France out of debt. Even though it's only, so it's owned by the French government.

It's on permanent display at the Louvre. Yeah. It's lent to the Louvre. So the Louvre doesn't own it. It's owned by the French government. It's on permanent display at the Louvre. Yeah. It's lent to the Louvre. So the Louvre doesn't own it. It's owned by the French government. Right. So they could sell it. They could sell it.

And he's worth $200 billion. Yeah, right. And remember, he went through a divorce and he gave like his ex-wife half of the money. Yeah. And he's already back up amongst the riches. How much is the Mona Lisa even worth? Well, that's what they don't know. You'd say priceless, wouldn't you?

Da Vinci's Salvatore Mundi sold for $450 million recently. So I've Googled $660 million. That's how much they reckon the Mona Lisa's worth. Wow. So he could afford over $200 million. That's how much they reckon the Mona Lisa's worth. Yeah. So he could afford over 200 of them. And actually it holds the Guinness World Record for the highest known insurance

valuation in history. Wow. Let's steal it. And then we can eat it without having to buy it. So yeah, there you go. In the world of like petitions doing good things and getting signatures to make change for the advance in a society, there's still people out there who would want a billionaire

to buy a priceless piece of art and eat it. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. The Olympic organisers, I was just trying to find out how many athletes they expect at the Tokyo Games because they plan to give away 150 many athletes they expect at the Tokyo Games because they plan to give away 150,000 condoms at the Games. Oh, right. Okay. How do you use those

while socially distancing in a country ravaged by COVID-19? This is the thing. They've said we're going to give out these condoms but they're not for use here. They're for you to take them home rather than use them in the Olympic Village because they want to raise awareness of HIV and AIDS. So they're giving out these condoms but saying do not use them here.

Take them home and spread awareness to your country. I reckon pop them in the post and just send them home then. Have them waiting for them when they get home from the Olympics. To avoid temptation. That's like giving a kid a chocolate and saying don't eat that now. You eat that when you get home. Doesn't it? Who can wait?

Happened a lot in the Olympic Village. Famously. Famously, yeah. The Olympic Village was just one long sex fest. Not this year. I wouldn't have thought it would be good for your performance. I think it was after you'd peaked, right? Yeah.

Once you're done. Yeah. But then isn't there a, like, if you do that before as well, that's good? Could be good for you. Yeah, I think there's different schools of... You've got to know your own body, right? Yeah, different schools of thoughts on it. Right. So the Olympics in Tokyo are scheduled for the 23rd of July,

which is, what, six weeks away? Until the 8th of August. Current cases in Tokyo, 467. Seven day average of 391 cases a day. New cases a day, right. Of COVID, yeah. How are their deaths going?

That seems like a manageable amount to have without deaths. Oh, here we go, click down. New cases, deaths. Seven day average of seven a day. Seven deaths to have without deaths I have to click oh here we go click down new cases deaths 7 day average of 7 a day 7 deaths 7 deaths a day

when was that I'm just looking at that graph over your shoulder when was that high part come back when was that Feb alright so the start of this year

yeah so Feb a lot of a lot of deaths then vaccinations pulls the vaccination dropped it right off but they have had a couple of

waves but if you've if you've been training for years you're gonna go aren't ya and most of our athletes A lot of deaths. Then vaccinations, the vaccination dropped it right off, but they have had a couple of waves. But if you've been training for years, you're going to go, aren't you? And most of our athletes have had the chance to be vaccinated. They'll be playing it very safe. Buzzy is the world we live in that you're like, how bad is the pandemic where I'm travelling to? How many deaths? Okay.

Yeah. But yeah, they have to obviously distance from each other and they have to eat alone. So usually they eat in like a big hall. Yeah. But yeah, they have to obviously distance from each other and they have to eat alone. So usually they eat in like a big hall. Right. But they've asked that they just dine alone. Right. And wipe down surfaces.

And that's where you make eyes with someone from Poland and then... Poland? Was it no choice? Well, I just went to the other side of the world really. Someone that you wouldn't make eyes with in a New Zealand cafeteria. I thought Polish. But I still or something like that. Yeah, I mean, everyone's making eyes at the Brazilians.

I know that, you know, my chances are better with a less assort after nation. And not that there's anything wrong with Poland. When I've been to Poland, Polish people are very lovely. Very beautiful people. Yeah, well, those old Eastern Bloc countries, you know. I'm not going to lie to you. Russia didn't stand for the uglies, did they? They had them

working themselves to death in fields and mines and all those things that keeps communism humming along. And the good-looking people got the office job, so they're still around. They're breeding with other good-looking people got the office job, so they're still around. They're breeding with other good-looking people. 17 past six next on the show. It's the top six.

Yeah, the Friends Cruise is happening. A Friends-themed cruise. The top six things to expect. It's not meant to kick off until 2022. Yeah. They reckon cruising's going to be back when everybody's vaccinated in the pandemic. But did we need a Friends cruise? Probably not.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the underground ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. A Friends-themed cruise has been announced by cruise company Fanna World Travel aboard the Celebrity Equinox. Okay. It is a cruise ship. It's not a new one or anything.

They're just going to theme a cruise the Friends theme, but it's females only. This will be the cruise known as the one without Ross Chandler and Joey. Okay. But since have said, actually men are allowed and heaps of men have already booked. So there's going to be friends dress up nights, trivia games, and all starting at $3,000 Australian dollars. How many nights?

Where does it go? It goes from Fort Lauderdale. So that's Florida, right? Yep. On May 15, 2022. So just under a year away. Key West, Georgetown, Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Mexico, and then back to Fort Lauderdale.

Okay. So you're on board for a little while. Definitely long enough to get diarrhea. Get a bit of, what is it? Norovirus, tear through a... Oh, yeah, that loves to go through a cruise ship. Oh, that loves to tear through a cruise ship. And of course, COVID now, that's also a big fan.

So Florida passed a law as well, I think last week, banning vaccination passports for cruisers. Because the cruise ships were like, if you're going to come on our cruises, you've got to be vaccinated. And Florida's like, no way. Not if you're coming through Florida. And everyone's like, what?

Why? Florida. Freedom. Freedom. Yeah. And so they're just like, ah. So, you know, good luck with that. Well, I've got the top six features of this Friends cruise.

And by the sounds of it, COVID will be throughout one, two, six. So, you know, good luck with that. Well, I've got the top six features of this Friends cruise. And by the sounds of it, COVID will be throughout one, two, six. Number six on the list of the top six features of the Friends cruise. You get to take your own bed up into your room up the stairs. It's called the initial pivot challenge. When you check in, they take your bags, but they give you the bed. And you've got to pay that. Number five on the list of the top six features of the Friend Cruise,

the seafood buffet is called the He's Her Lobster Seafood Buffet. Of course, referencing when Ross and Rachel hook up and there was the prom video and Phoebe says the famous line, He's Her Lobster. But now it's a seafood buffet. Yum, yum. Number four on the list of the top six features aboard the Friends cruise, the Oh My God onboard chapel,

where you can go and pray to whatever god you pray to in the Janus Oh My God onboard chapel. Number three on the list of the top six features of the Friends cruise, from every room on the ship out the top six features of the Friends Cruise, from every room on the ship out the window, if you look hard enough, you can see Ugly Naked Guy. That's an absolute Friends Cruise promise. Number two on the list of the top six features of the Friends Cruise,

every sixth passenger gets a monkey. Oh, I imagine. Because they're deemed, every sixth person will be deemed a Ross and they'll be given a monkey. And they'll actually hate it.. And they'll actually hate it. Yeah, they'll really regret it. That's what he said in the special, didn't he?

Yeah. He said he absolutely hated it. Yeah, because he was the one that had to deal with it all the time and it was just a nightmare to deal with. And the number one list,

the number one on today's top six features of the Friends cruise that we were on a break clause. That's for anybody not travelling with their partner so they can have the freedom to hook up with other people.

Completely guilt free because they were on a break. International waters. Yeah, it doesn't count. You know, no law out there, and that's why the pirates are out there. That is today's top six. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

We were just talking about smokes, and I remember working at a service station when the grotesque images became compulsory to put on cigarettes and warnings about cigarettes can harm your lungs and your eyeballs and your butthole and your baby and all sorts of And every part of you. And there's a picture of

a tarry butthole. Yeah. Is there a butthole one? Yeah. Yeah, it's just me. And I'm like, did they just not wipe or is it a tarry butthole? I was like, whoa, I haven't seen that one. No, no. It's like lungs, tarry lungs. Tarry lungs, eyeballs.

I like the one with the eyeballs being held open. That looks more like someone's been tortured by Al-Qaeda than they are just enjoying a delicious nicotine stick. But they're all gross images. But ciggy smokers don't care. They're just like, eh. I remember when they got put on, and previous to that, it was just like the front of the cigarette package

was just a big ad for the cigarettes. Yeah, it was. And they were all, like, coloured and, yeah, anyway. Now we're just seeing all that with vape stuff. Remember the other day when we walked through that vape cloud and we were both like, yum, because it was like... It was like apples. It was apples.

It was apple, eh? I was just like, man, like's so bad because it smells so good. It's repeating all the same mistakes that cigarettes made like 50, 60 years ago and everybody's just like, well, like doctors being like, it's the lesser of two evils. Yeah. It's the equivalent of a doctor in the 50s being like, I only smoke Joe Campbell cigarettes because I'm a health provisional.

I don't know. It just feels like anyway, the UK is taking it to the next step now rather than just the cigarette packages having warnings on them. Individual cigarettes are now coming with warnings printed down the side of the cigarette themselves. No pictures. That's not going to do anything, right? They know the warnings, the dangers.

If you've got that far, yeah. No one's under the illusion that it's good for you. And when it's in your mouth, it's too hard to focus because it's not only down, but it's really close. You'd be like, hold on. What? Wait a second. So, yeah, they're going to come with just printed down the side

a whole lot of different, no pictures, but just a whole lot of warnings about smoking can cause lung cancer. In case you miss the negative press on these things, they're not good for you. Yeah, yeah, and you've got to roll it around, and you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? So this is actually, the UK started doing it,

but in 2019, New Zealand apparently looked into it. Oh, yeah. We were just like, oh. Yeah. And it came from a study that James Cook University in Queenstown led the research into it.

And he said that individual cigarette warnings would be the next step. I mean, I hope he's not too highly respected at the university because that doesn't seem like it's an obvious next step. But if you get through all the warnings to get to that, and that's the one that starts you. People aren't caring by that stage, are they, Dad? I was going to say, is it bad for you to inhale the ink?

But, eh. Yeah, just chuck it in with all the other chemicals you're inhaling that aren't probably good for you. You're not caring by that stage, are you? It was, you know, it was in the nicotine that got her the addiction to nicotine or the thousands of chemicals. It was when they added that pesky ink. That's what killed them.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, a graphic went viral yesterday. It shows a map of New Zealand broken down into the different regions and it's how much you need to earn to afford the average house in your region. Now, this won't come as a surprise to many

people that it's a lot. This is how much you need to earn annually, right? Is it more than it used to be? He said sarcastically. For a moment, I was like, wait, what? Okay, also, this comes out at the same time as a study out of the US, where also prices have gone crazy.

64% of millennials, those aged between 25 and 40, face regrets after buying a home. Because they're having to rush into a purchase, which can lead to them settling for properties they might not like. Because it's like here, you're going up against another 10 or 20 people. Yeah. And then you overspend on a house and you're like, oh. And you might do your due diligence. You might rush into it and then you get in there and you're like,

no, I regret buying this. And you've got a huge amount of debt to the bank. It is a big regret. So around. Around what? We'll fix anything. Oh, just, yeah, in the leaks. Just invest in lots of tubes of silicon.

Sally's No More Gaps. Yep, that waterproof stuff, in the lakes. Just invest in lots of tubes of silicon. Sally's No More Gaps. Yep, that waterproof stuff. Lots of that. It says it can be applied wet, but it's best to wait until it's dry. Yeah. Then get some of that on there. Well, that sucked a lot of the lakes in your garage, didn't it? You bet.

All of them. You bet. You can get really creative with that stuff, too. It's like old school 3D printing. You just go really slow and it dries, and you can pretty much make a whole new roof out of it. Yeah, if you look closely at Vaughan's roof, it's just a layer of silicon. I shit you not, there is a part of our roof that I had to cut out a rusty bit of iron.

And when the guy came to paint the roof, because that was the final coat after that. Wait, are you talking about garage or house? Let's say garage for insurance purposes. And the guy who painted it was like, what happened here? I was like, I had to cut out some rust. He's like, you've done a pretty good job. How much silicon?

I was like, four tubes. He's like, mate, this is probably the most watertight part of your entire roof. Wow. Well, there you go. A lot of regret from millennials, but the amount that you need to earn to afford the average house in your region,

Northland is $101,000. Auckland, $170,000. I'm rounding here. I'm rounding to the nearest thousand. Annually? Yes, annually. Bay of Plenty, $121,000. The Waikato, $110,000.

Gizzy, $104,000. Is there anywhere that's under $100,000. The Waikato, $110,000. Gizzy, $104,000. Is there anywhere that's under $100,000? We're getting there. Okay. The Hawke's Bay, $116,000. Wellington, $131,000. Wait. Like household income?

It would be, yeah. Okay. Still. Before tax? I know, it's ridiculous. The Taranaki region, 81,500. Manawatu, 87,000. Nelson is 112,000.

Marlborough, 101,000. Tasman, 116,000. The West Coast, 41,000. The beautiful, rugged West Coast. See? It's so beautiful. It's so lovely. God, you'd be, yeah, it's isolated.

I could do it. That part would have bothered me. You're a hermit. I love it. You'd love it. Sometimes you see just a little track off the road on the West Coast and you're like, oh, sweet track, where do you take me? I might never see another human again.

Born to live off the grid. Oh, my God. You'd love it. Canterbury, you need to earn $85,000, $85,500 to afford the average house in your region. The Otago region, $107,000, and Southland, $60,000. And that's gross income, so that is before tax.

Right. Is that gross? Is that pre? Yeah. Because gross is, How I imagine it Is like fish Yeah because After they've been through the net

And then they've been through the net Oh It's not gross Was that a thing? Maybe at school Did our accountant tell us that? Oh yeah No

Maybe Maybe I feel like I've Yeah So apparently Figures on common financial advice Say that people shouldn't be spending More than 30% of their income on housing.

Bigger pun? Yeah, that's easily said than done. That's easily said than done, isn't it, in New Zealand? No more than 30%. 30%. Madness. So, I guess it's off to the West Coast. Let's move the show to the West Coast.

I don't know about sunshine. I would love it. Do they have a mall? I love all the hiking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they have a mall? Online shopping. Do I have to wait?

You've been to the Wild Foods Festival the first time we went? Yeah. See, I could deal with it. Yeah. Because, you know, I love the hiking. The hiking down there would be amazing. Uh-huh. And I could spend my weekends in the river with my little gold pan.

You know how much I want to get into hobby gold panning. I know. But I don't like this. Come back with flakes of gold and be like, look what I've got. Yeah. Oh, we're on our way to that house. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

ZM. Shush, please. Vaughan, the box. It's time for the box. Moving on. The box. Now, we've got $20,000 in this box. You've just got to get in with a four-digit pin.

We know there's a seven in there, and we know that it spells a four-letter word. Hayley, good morning. Good morning. All right, so $20,000 is yours if you can tell us what this four-digit pin is. What do you think it is? I think the pin is

4357. Now what? We know that it spells a four letter word so what do you think that word is? I think it's the word help. Help. What's your reasoning behind that? My reasoning? That last clue. I think that word boon

I think that means helpful or beneficial. Right, because I didn't know what that word clue. I think that word boon, I think that means helpful or beneficial. Right, because I didn't know what that word meant. No. No. I just thought they were trying to rhyme it with soon. The clue yesterday was this game is rather hard so now I offer you a boon. You are searching for a secret word.

It is coming soon. Okay, so 4-7 No, 4 Okay, so 4-7. No, 4-3-5-7. Yeah. Oh, I thought you had it. Bad luck. No, Hayley, it's wrong.

Sorry. Thanks anyway. We do, though, thanks to Marvel Marvel Studios Black Widow in cinemas July 8th and streaming on Disney Plus with premiere access July 9th. Conditions apply. Have a double pass for you to see Marvel Studios Black Widow. Well done. Every incorrect guest does pick up

a double pass to the movie. Let's talk about a new trend in pants. Rihanna is responsible for this so take up any complaints with her it's part of the savage fenty uh release and it um highlights bum cleavage so these are basically tights that at the back either have a dinner plate hole or a crisscross part across the bum to expose your bum cleavage. So these are like, would they be like active wear pants or like lingerie? So it's part of her lingerie line, but they look like gym tights.

So imagine gym tights, active wear, but there's a hole cut out for the bum cleavage. Yeah. Bum cleavage is minor exposure of the upper buttocks and the intergluteal cleft. That's what the butt crack's called, the intergluteal cleft. It's got a fancy name. Yeah.

Because everyone would have butt cleavage, right? Not everyone has boob cleavage, but everyone would have butt cleavage. right? Not everyone has boob cleavage, but everyone would have butt cleavage. The crinia is the formal term. Okay. And the medical term is posterior rugae. Right. And because these are active wear tights, they're quite tight,

so they're kind of squeezing it together, aren't they? Mm-hmm. To accentuate the cleave. Plumbers have been doing this for years, so I don't know why everybody else is all of a sudden so shocked by it. Tradies have been doing the builder's crack and the tradies crack for years. The photos you showed us on Rihanna's Fenty website and the examples, far nicer than any hairy plumber's crack I've seen in my time.

I mean, that's quite rude to the plumbers and the tradies. But, hey, that's just my personal preference. And there's something for everybody out there. And if people like hairy and pasty and that's totally cool. But then Rihanna, this Fenty range, the butt crack is lower than a builder's crack. A tradie's crack. Yeah, well, it's kind of half. It's like right over the bouton.

And it's circular rather than the entire band across the top. It's centralised on the upper arse cleavage. That's the one with the hole, but the other ones have like a little crisscross, like a corset situation

across the... Do you think Les Mills will let these into the gym? No. Or your local Snap Fitness? Well, Snap Fitness, nobody's there the whole time. You could probably go in your after hours when the non-staffed hours. Yeah, but then you'd want them to put a towel down on the bench

if they were sitting anywhere. It'd be straight up sweaty ass to bench, yeah. They'd need to give that a good wipe afterwards. I was just looking to see how much these are. I believe $50 American dollars for these. Right. But yeah, they're supposed to be lingerie that's getting your partner, you know, jazzed.

I don't know if that would work. But it's active wear lingerie. Then you've got to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. I've got a scratchy couch. It'll get scratchy. You don't want to sit on that with a hole in your... And then just the natural oils of the skin, you'll stand up, there'll be the... Yeah.

What about on a leather couch? No, but then you'll stick to it. Yuck. These are a really bad idea, Rihanna. Very problematic. Really problematic. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. Very problematic. Really problematic.

Well, it's on TV3 tonight at 8.30. Patrick Gower on P. We're joined in studio by Paddy Gower. First question, what tastes better, meth or weed? Undoubtedly weed. I've never tasted meth, but I'm sure, you know, I mean, I wouldn't want to talk too much about weed, but people that know a little bit about it will say it tastes okay. I can't believe you answered that. talk too much about weed, but people that know a little bit about it will say it tastes okay. Not saying that I'm necessarily, well, I have tasted it.

Right. So for the patty gower on weed, there was weed sample, but like you were in a place where it was legal too, but obviously meth's a completely different situation. Yeah. And, you know, I'm happy to confirm that I do not use pee. I would never use pee. I'd never use methamphetamine and that's one of the sad things about the documentary really. When you're making a documentary about weed, yes, weed has harmful sides to it but it also has very helpful sides in the medical sense.

Meth does not have any of that. It doesn't have a good side. It doesn't have anything useful to add to society. So when you go and make a documentary on it after making one on weed where you can have a lot of fun and then you go out to something where it is just down and down and down and down it's a very different documentary to make but the reason that I made it was because of weed because when I went around New Zealand talking to people about weed and having a lot of fun doing it everywhere I went people

would say to me Paddy it's easier to get pee in this town than weed and having a lot of fun doing it, everywhere I went, people would say to me, Paddy, it's easier to get pee in this town than weed. And that didn't matter whether I was in Waipukura, didn't matter whether I was in Raglan, didn't matter whether I was in Gore, people would say that to me. And that means we've got a problem. If we've got a harmful drug that's a chemical that's made and distributed by gangs, more popular and more easy to get than a plant that grows out of the ground and can actually be fun and quite helpful for people. We've got a problem in New Zealand. And that's what meant I got out and made this documentary.

Is there any other country in the world that seems to have the P epidemic as bad as New Zealand? Like per capita, it seems like we're terribly affected by it. Yeah, we are. And, you know, I can't see anywhere that is as bad as us. And actually, that's why all these cartels want to send the drug here. People will see tonight that we actually Skype the Mexican cartel, the Sinaloa cartel.

We get one of their guys on Skype. I know it's... How did you find their contact? Yeah, through a Mexican journalist. You know, because they're like the rugby union over there. You know, they've got journos covering them every day. And, you know, that's what we're up against. And these guys over there in Mexico say, hey, we send it to New Zealand because we can get it such a high price because you've got so many addicts. Now we're a target because it

gets a good price here. So they pump more in. One study says 139,000 pee users in New Zealand. That's, you know, that's the size of Tauranga that's a lot the stories that people tell are always the same they start using it their partner starts using it there's domestic violence they start stealing invariably

they steal off their parents in the first instance that's the easiest place to go and steal from their whole relationship with their family starts to get destroyed, They lose their kids. Their kids get taken off them. They lose their job. They steal off their employer. They end up stealing.

You know, the number of times I've heard this story that I've just outlined to you, and if you can think of the path of destruction that that leads through people's lives, and not just the people using it, the people all around them, and if you magnify that out by 139,000, that's the problem that's out there. What is the most surprising thing you've found

from doing this? Because I imagine people's impressions of who does pee is probably different to what the reality is. It's the availability that has shocked me. And in one town that we go to, a person says to us, it's easier to get pee here than it is to get cigarettes. And I said, how can that be? You know, you get cigarettes in the dairy. She says to me, you go to the dairy, you need $32 to buy a packet of cigarettes or whatever it is these days. You need cash.

To get pee in this town, you get it on tick, which people will know is credit. They will give it to you and let you use it and you have to pay them back another way and everybody knows what that's going to be. That's going to be crime or beating someone else up or something like that. But you can get it.

And that's what really shocked me is it is so available, they will just give it away and get people hooked. And that to me is the most frightening aspect of this whole documentary. What about the other end of the income spectrum? Because you hear about high-functioning alcoholics that are in professional roles, accountants, lawyers, all those sorts of professions. Are there those sorts of P users as well? Yep, lawyers, accountants, lawyers, all those sorts of professions. Are there those sorts of P users as well?

Yep. Yeah. Lawyers, accountants, people that use, you know, a lot of talk about mums that use it to get through. Some mums actually say, yeah, I can actually be a better mum while I'm on it, you know, and they are for a long period of time because initially it does help you cope with those massive, massive pressures that everybody knows. And it can actually sort of make you more organised for a short time. You know, eventually it's going to get on top of you. But that's another thing that's creeping into society. All sorts of people using it and an increasing number of mums

out there from all walks of life in New Zealand using it as well. This hasn't been the greatest chat. No, but we live in bubbles. Like, that's the same thing. I've got no one in my, well, that's the thing. I've got no one in my close group of friends that I know uses it. Yeah. But as you said, if you put them all together, it's Tauranga.

I never know someone from Tauranga. Yeah. And, you know, that's an interesting thing that you raise because I actually think everybody does know someone. I reckon if people go, I actually think everybody does know someone. I reckon if people go, I don't reckon I know anyone. And then I reckon if you think and you ask just a couple more questions, you look, well, where was that marriage breakup?

Or I haven't seen that person for a while. Or their son wasn't there. Or something went on there. Right. And that's where it is. I think it's closer to more people than they think. They either do know someone that they're really close to or it's a couple of steps away.

That's how I reckon it works. Billion dollar question. What's the fix? Look, I think around mental health, right? Like we used to think that people with mental health issues were weak or, you know, they weren't as strong as us. And we've started to change our attitudes to that by people talking openly about it. Addiction is the same.

When we realise that addicts, it's like mental health, it's a disease of their brain. There is something not right in their brain and it's not their fault that they've gone like this. And when we look at them and actually work with them rather than putting them in jail and that kind of thing, when we actually take a health approach, we can get them off P, we can lessen the demand. It's going to be a massive job because it requires all sorts of taxpayers' money and all sorts of different things to be set up around the country,

but we actually need to look to the addicts. And if this documentary is for anyone tonight, it is for the mums and dads of children who have addictions, and they will be listening right now, who never give up on their kids. There are so many of them out there that have to struggle with kids with addictions, and there are so many good parents in New Zealand

that never, ever give up on them, and we need society to get in and support those parents to bring their kids out of it. That's the way to get out of this pee thing. Wow, thank you so much. You're a good man, Paddy. However, are we going to have any jokes or what? I don't know.

Let's bring back the weed stuff. You can watch the documentary tonight with Paddy Gower at 8.30 on TV3. Thanks so much for coming in, Patti. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This comes out of America, but I would hope that it's a worldwide thing after COVID. After the pandemic, 7 in 10, so 70% of millennial and Gen Z Americans said that they have had a health self-awakening

since the pandemic, during the pandemic. Right. So this isn't just exercise. This is looking after their mind, taking time for themselves. Self-care is now a priority. You spent so much time at home looking into... We all put on like the COVID 5KGs, didn't we? So it has to be a priority now.

Afterwards we're like, whoa, okay. Whoa, yeah. Eating all that baking added up. So a lot of them have said that their self-care routine would take them about an hour every day. So that includes fitness, yoga, mindfulness. Yeah, so in terms of exercise, it's not just, you know, like going to the gym and pounding it out. There's a lot more activities that like boost endorphins, like yoga, meditation, things like that.

Right. And then also just doing face masks, reading a book, bubble baths, having a wine, anything that just takes time for yourself to slow down and, you know, have a moment. Must be nice. I just felt like someone had to say must be nice. Must be nice to have that sort of time on your hands. I don't know. I just felt like someone had to say it, you know.

You love a bubble bath. I haven't had a bubble bath for ages. Oh, you're on a bore. No, no, that's not a pro. It's not that. It's just that we don't have the bubble bath for ages. Oh, you're on a bore. No, no, no. That's not a pro. It's not that. It's just that we don't have the bath is yuck. Why is it yuck? Are there flies in there?

No, no. It's just an older bath. Right. It's not like old enough to be like cute bath. It's not like clawfoot old. It's not like ceramic old. It's like 80s plastic yuck. Oh, okay. Even the cat's like, oh, this is where I poo now.

Yeah, the cat's like, I'll do a poo in here. It's just not a nice bath. There's bathroom renovation plans on the horizon. There's a new bath. It's a short bath is my only thing, but it's a very deep bath. Oh, no, you've got to. You're a tall person. You've got to have a long bath.

I know, but what I lose in to. You're a tall person. You've got to have a long bath. I know, but I can. What I lose in length, I can have in depth. You do like to submerge. I love to submerge. You like to submerge. I love to submerge and hold my breath. And then I imagine if there was a home invasion, I could have a straw and I could be under the bath.

Just waiting out the home invaders who I hope don't look in the bath. You know that the water's see-through. No, in bubbles. There'd be bubbles. And the don't look in the bath. You know that the water's see-through. No, bubbles. There'd be bubbles. And the light's off in the bathroom. What home invaders going into the bathroom? I wouldn't run my hand. Oh, they'd run a bubble bath.

If I was home invading, I wouldn't run my hand through a bath. I might get a broom and poke it. This is me moving to avoid the broom pokes under the breath of a straw. You'd be moving the water. No, but they're moving the water because they're stabbing it with a broom. That was the thing. That caused the residual weight. Why would you choose to hide in a bath during a home invasion?

Why not hide under the bed or in the wardrobe? They always look under the bed. Yeah, no, under the bed's your first place to go. They flip the duvet up. Or run outside. Go up your tree hut. I don't have time. I've just got to get fully clothed into the bath with a straw that I keep beside the bath.

You strike me as a man that would have a panic room. Just like cut a hole out in the wall. Yeah, a Kim Dotcom panic room. Well, you know, I went to that guy's house where the minute I walked into his house, I looked on his lounge floor. I was like, what's that? Because it had one of those little ring. Oh, yeah.

Those ring that you put your finger and you pull it up. He's like, that's my wine cellar. And I said, I simply must look. And he's like, well, let's get this work done. Because it was like a photo shoot. And then afterwards, he's like, I was like, wine cellar? He's like, okay. And I went and it was amazing.

Like you pulled up this thing and he's like, you can go under it. And as you're shutting it, pull a rug over and no one would know you're down there. And it's not on the plans or anything. It's not council. It's not on the council plans. Oh no, that's not a wine cellar. That's a doomsday prepper. No, it wasn't big enough for a doomsday prepper.

Oh, wasn't it? Nah. But that's ever since I've just been like, I must. If you ever go missing, we're like. We'll know where, yeah. You've made yourself a whiskey room down below and you've died there. I want to know the engineering of burying a shipping container.

I mean, that's a bigger hole. Yeah. But I'm going to be living down there for 20 years, so I've got to have room to stretch. That's your self-care routine. Do my exercise. Digging a huge hole to put a container in. And living subterranean.

Yeah. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Now, next two bangers bingos are happening in Auckland. So this Thursday at Sweatshop Bar and Eatery and then next Thursday at the Hangar Bar in West Auckland. If you'd like to get you and three mates together, join a team, register ZM online, and you could win cash and prizes on the night.

And next Thursday's also your birthday bangers bingo special. Well, it's the day after. It's the day after your birthday. Yeah, but we're not making a big deal about that. It's the actual birthday free for you to get up to whatever scandalous activity you want to do on your very special day. I don't want to do nothing. I'm just nothing.

We're daring high and jack the actual day of birth, but then afterwards it'll also be a birthday celebration. There'll be cake and stuff. Yeah, good. Organising cake. And a song.. There'll be cake and stuff. Yeah, good. Organise a cake. And a song. Everyone will sing. Organise a cake.

It's all sang. I'm not organising a cake. No, I don't want to either. You do it. Megan, you organise a cake. No, I'm not doing it. Annie, you organise a cake. Carwin.

He won't even eat the cake. Carwin, you're the newest. You've got to organise a cake. Are you still on your health kick? Yeah, I'm still on my health kick. Oh, we don't eat cake then. You put it in front of him. He'll eat a little bit of cake.

Yeah, okay. I'll have a lot of it. On Friday, I went to a little PlayStation event to play the new Ratchet and Clank game, which I had no idea had such a special place for so many people because when I put up a photo of my daughters playing it, everybody was like, oh, this takes me back. And everybody, well, the game's been around since like first generation PlayStation. Yeah. Now we're on PlayStation 5.

Yeah. So, you know, lots of people played Ratchet and Clank. But when I was there, Madeline Sami was also there. Oh, yeah. And we were just having a chat and she said, my first ever paycheck, I bought a PlayStation 2. My first ever big paycheck, I bought a PlayStation 2. And I was like, I think my first paycheck, I bought a PlayStation 2. And I was like, I think my first paycheck, I bought a PlayStation 2 as well.

Was that when you were working with me? When you first started? No, it was in Hamilton. But here was the deal. And I was like, I thought back, I was like, that can't be right because I wasn't paid very well. They didn't pay me for six weeks and they had to lump some or like this entire pay.

So I all of a sudden had money in my hand and I was like money. Must spend. I've never had this much money in my hand before. Yeah. And so I was like, well, there's only one sensible thing to do. Rent. Make one bulk purchase. And I bought like a

PlayStation 2. Right. And she said, yeah, she bought a PlayStation 2. It was like her first paycheck. Okay. And she said, yeah, she bought a PlayStation 2. It was like her first paycheck. Okay. So you managed to buy a PlayStation 2 and pay rent in Hamilton. I wasn't paying rent. Oh, were you living at your parents? I was living with my mum and dad's. Sweet.

Were they not charging you rent? They did not charge me rent. Fair enough. Mum was stuck just doing something that didn't include waking up at 2 o'clock in the afternoon and presumably spending the day masturbating. So she was just pleased to have me out of the house doing something, you know, that was looking a little bit like work.

Yeah. So, yeah, they weren't charging me rent. But then after that, I went renting. Yeah. And I had a sweet PlayStation. And, you know, when, know when someone moves into the flat and I've got like a gaming console, everyone's like, yes. Or a nice TV.

Yeah. You're like, yes, you can have the flat. That TV's going in the lounge, isn't it? It's a lounge. Not in your room. Is it a lounge TV, is it? It's not a bedroom TV. It's too big for your bedroom.

Is it a lounge TV? So it got me thinking like what people spent their first ever paycheck on. I do remember that far back flight. Were you paid in pennies and shillings? What did you spend your first pennies on? I remember my first paycheck. The war had just ended. The war was over and the Nazis had been beat.

I'm like a little bit older than you. Calm down. I think I just went to like Bond and Rent because I moved away for my first job. Yeah, boring stuff. I bought a green Alcatel phone with my first paycheck. And I've only bought the green one because that's all they had left and I was desperate. The DB OneTouch. The OneTouch.

It sounds like cradle charge. Yeah, cradle charge. Yeah, everyone had one of them cradles. So you could text honeys. Did you text any honeys? Oh, no. I don't think text. Oh, yeah, no.

Text must have existed on that phone. Yeah, they were 20 cents a pop, baby. That's right. You had to be very careful with how many honeys you were texting. I did text a lot of honeys. Yeah, I bet you went through a lot of money for the honey. So we want to ask this morning, what did you spend your first paycheck on? What did you splurge on?

Yeah. Because you finally had some money as an adult. Talking about what you splurged, what you bought with your first ever paycheck. I'm really impressed by the amount of people that have taken their parents out for a meal with their first paycheck. Really? Yeah. Just to like say thank you and pay them back. Somebody said, I took my parents, my little brother,

and my sister out to Denny's in Porirua. Oh, damn. Stuff the siblings. Yeah. They can stay at home or look after themselves. Yeah. You're shouting mum and dad a skillet though at Denny's. Woo!

Somebody else said, I was working on a farm. I said I wasn't going to spend my first paycheck on anything to do with the farm, but then I bought myself a new pair of gumboots. And I tell you what, that was a great investment. Great investment. Somebody else said, at 17, my first ever paycheck, I got my boyfriend a surfboard. Felt good spoiling someone else.

With a first paycheck. I don't understand this getting other people things. Yeah. It's actually not the first paycheck. Jordan said't understand this getting other people things. Yeah. Is she not the first paycheck? Jordan said, I got a queen-size bed with my first paycheck. I was 15 and in heaven. Wow. Yeah, when you get like a big bed,

when you've only had a single, like in your childhood, oh. It's good stuff. It's good stuff. Rochelle, what did you spend your first paycheck on? It was the time that MySky came out, and I really wanted Disney Channel as a 13-year-old would. So my parents said if I wanted it, I had to buy it myself. So I did.

So you paid, but then were they allowed to watch Sky? Yeah, unfortunately. My whole family got the same benefit that I did just because I wanted MySky. Oh, no. I would have charged them. I would have had them in the remote and made them pay. Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

Just lock the remote away. Was it worth it for iCarly? Oh, definitely. No, it was more Hannah Montana. I was a Hannah Montana boy. Okay. Good investment there. Wow, money well spent.

And then did you end up cancelling that when you grew out of that? No. So my parents still have it, but I moved to the home and I used it for my son to pay. We didn't get any of that. Your phone line's cutting out, Rochelle. I'll pop you on hold. Thanks for your call. Lucy, what did you spend your first paycheck on?

Look, it sounds really boring, but it's what it represented, and it represented freedom. I bought a hairdryer. but it's what it represented, and it represented freedom. I bought a hairdryer. That's not boring. You didn't have to use mum's. No. I was 17, first job. My hair was my crowning glory. It was the thing that meant the most to me.

And whenever I was naughty, mum used to take the hairdryer off me because it was hers. She'd be like, you're not drying it, go to work with wet head. Yeah. Lucy, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in,

I bought a Gold Air 14-inch cube television with remotes. Yeah. The interns here at work in the area have like a little 14 inch TV out there and they think it's real like funny and like retro. Yeah, pitch and retro.

And I was like, don't make fun of me. I felt like that was really targeted. Yeah, because that's what you had in your bedroom as a kid. Yeah. It was in our caravan when we had a caravan and then when they sold the caravan we had to beg and plead with mum and dad not to sell the TV with the caravan so we could Yeah It was in our caravan When we had a caravan And then when they sold the caravan We had to beg and plead With mum and dad

Not to sell the TV With the caravan So we could have a TV in our room And now it's a joke to kids Yeah Like we're some sort of Laughing stock To you

Because we watch Now there's literally iPads bigger than those TVs Yeah More definition And in colour Yeah And they think

We're some sort of joke Yeah Am I funny to you? Because I was born in the 80s Am I a joke to you? Definition and in colour. Yeah. And they think we're some sort of joke. Am I funny to you? Because I was born in the 80s? Am I a joke to you? Because I can remember the millennium? Oh, am I a joke to you because I freaked out about the Y2K bug?

Am I a joke to you because I got really upset when Princess Diana passed away and you weren't even born yet? Is that what I am to you? Some sort of joke? Huh? Huh? Huh? We? Huh? We're going to play I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name next. Because I remember Michael Jackson as someone other than a sex offender.

Huh? Am I a joke to you because I remember when the Commonwealth Games were in Auckland? Huh? Huh? Because when I wore a Nirvana T-shirt, it wasn't because it was a – and JJ's on special. What? Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. I am the box. The box is in studio and inside $20,000 cash. All you've got to do is get the four-digit pin. It's got a seven in it? Yep, we know that. And it spells a four-letter word. Uh-huh.

Hmm. Sarah, good morning. Hello, how are you? Good. What would you do with $20,000? I'd probably put it towards our wedding in October. Oh, that's so sensible. Oh, that's a good chunk.

Yeah. Yeah. Would it be just covering what you've already organised, or would you then splash out on something a little extra for the wedding? Probably splash out on something a little extra. Yeah. Would it be just covering what you've already organised or would you then splash out on something a little extra for the wedding? Probably splash out on something a little extra. Yeah. What are you thinking, arrive in a helicopter or something? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, what pin number do you want us to try? 7666. 7666. 7666. Well, what word does that spell? Soon. Soon.

Oh, okay. Ah, because it was soon. All right, 7666. Here we go. I'm going to press it. Oh. It's not soon. It's not.

It's not. It's not. There's always next time. Yeah. Thank you. So it's not soon. It's not rune. It's not quoon. Or poon.

We've got a list of the wrong words, the wrong guesses, combinations at ZM Online, but we do have for you all thanks to Marvel Studios' Black Widow in cinemas July 8th and streaming on Disney Plus with Premier Access July 9th. Conditions apply. A double pass to Black Widow. Well done. Thank you.

All right, every wrong guess gets a double pass. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. Well, it's the return of I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name, Vaughn Smith, on a 2021 absolute hot streak. I think you've lost once or twice this whole year. I'm just writing down some names that I'm feeling the vibes of this morning, pre-questions.

Oh, okay. Wow. Well, we welcome Elena. Elena to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Good morning. How are we welcome Elena. Elena, too. I bet I can guess your mum's name. Good morning. How are you? Good. Now, five questions for you, Elena, about your mum.

And then you'll have, Vaughan will have 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If he can do that, $100 cash is yours. All righty. Okay. Question one. How old is your mum? Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Okay. Question one. How old is your mum? Ballpark. Pardon me?

69. 69? Yeah. Nice. Okay. So that's a good... So she was born in 1953 or two? Two.

So you'd imagine it would be a classic name. That's a classic mum's name because that's a bit older than my mum. You know what? I'm going to chuck Christine on the list. Just in case. You can't be too careful. You can't be too careful with your Christines in the 50s. What's your mum's favourite band?

Oh, I don't know if it would be a band more than an orchestra. Oh, okay. No, if it would be a band more than an orchestra. Oh, okay. Oh, no, we've got a classy mum. I'm not used to an upper socioeconomic mum. They don't have bog standard names like Tracy. They've got posh names. Fletcher's mum, like Beverly. But Bev, she's a Bev though, isn't she?

She's a Bev, yeah, yeah. No, but Elena's mum would use the full name. She'd stay Beverly. Oh, no. This is really throwing you, isn't it? And now is it a double barrel name? So she likes classical music. Don't answer that, Elena.

Don't answer that, yeah. So she likes the orchestra. What, does she go to the secondary question but still under the subset of band? Does she go to the Philharmonic? Yeah, she would do. Yeah, you really. That's ruled out your Tracys, hasn't it?

Most of my names were pretty trashy. Nah, you're mum. Okay, okay. My Tracys would go to the Philharmonic, wouldn't they? Would a Rosemary go to the Philharmonic? Rosemary would go to the Philharmonic, wouldn't they? Would a Rosemary go to the Philharmonic? Oh yeah, Rosemary would go to the Philharmonic And I feel like an Elizabeth Not my Aunty Rose, she wouldn't

She'd go to a Tina Turner's Covers Band Oh yeah, that sounds great I would go to a Tina Turner's As long as they did a good job Yeah, right, okay I'm going to go see some amateur sing Nutbush City Limits. I want the full Tina experience. Okay.

Jeez. Now I'm struggling. I'm going to put a Marilyn down. Oh, okay. Is it pre? Yeah, okay. All right. What are your mum's siblings' names?

Jill, Kath, June, Dale. Oh, I'm forgetting one. Good God, how many has she got? Lindley, did you say? Lindley, yeah. Okay. So there's five of them or six including her? Yeah.

Six, yeah. So we're after a big, rich family. Six. And what were their names again? Sorry? Kath. Kath. Kath, Jill, Lindlee, Dune and Dale.

Okay, see there, I think you're not happy. You're not vibing this, are you? Now I'm throwing myself. I'm off my vibe. Because they don't sound too fancy. They're pretty standard. Did you say Gail? Dale.

Dale. I'm going to put Gail, even though you wouldn't name your kids' names, would you? Gail and Dale. Gail and Dale Even though you wouldn't Name your kids names Gail and Dale Gail and Dale Unless you're A bloody Donald Duck sister You wouldn't do that You know what

I'm going to chuck a Pauline on the list Because that's a classy name I'm going to chuck a Shirley You didn't say Shirley Did you No Oh

Did you hear that I'm going to chuck a Yvonne Okay Yep Okay Oh, did you hear that? I'm going to chuck in a Vaughn. Okay, yep. Okay, what are your mum's, does she play any sports or does she have any hobbies? Yeah, she's a musician. She plays the flute. Oh, she's a flute.

She's a flautist. She's a what, Fletch? A flutist. A fluter. She's a fluter. A flautist. A fluterologist. Whatever. It's flutist. She? A flutist. A fluter. She's a fluter. A flautist. A fluterologist. Whatever.

It's flutist. She's a flutist. She could be a Helen. Or she could be a Deborah. Not a Debbie. Oh, no, Deborah's too young. Debbie? No, I know an old Deborah.

Okay. She could be a Lorraine. Do you reckon she could be a Lorraine? Yes, she could be. Yeah? Yeah. Maybe she came from working class stock. You really don't know.

I'm going to hunt in the rain around that vintage. You're not vibing this. All right, last question. She's an Annette. She's an Annette. She's not an Ann. Have you got one more question? Yes.

What kind of car does mum drive? I've got a Corolla. A Corolla. A Corolla. So sensible. Were you expecting a European car? You were a Volvo. What year Corolla? Oh, I don't know.

New? Relatively modern. Okay, relatively modern. She was expecting a Volvo. You were expecting a rich kind of a... Not like rich. Right. But just like rich. Right. They're just like safe.

Okay. Well, those are safe. I'd say Corolla's safe, yeah. Corolla's are okay, but they're not Volvos. Got a feeling I've got... I have a feeling you're not getting today's line.

You're not in a good space, are you? I've never seen you like this. I feel like you're putting yourself off. I've got a Helga, but it's not going to be Helga. A Helga. I'm seeing a Helga, but the name's not Helga. God.

All right, well. Elena, Vaughn has 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. If he reads out your mum's name, please say stop. That's my mum's name. Vaughn, your 15 seconds starts now. Natasha, Sharon. See, this is an early one. It's not going to be Sharon.

Wendy, Elizabeth, Tracy, Christine, Rosemary, Marilyn, Margaret, Gail, Pauline, Shirley, Yvonne, Helen, Deborah, Lorraine, Annette, Patricia. Not today, not today. Not today. He's failed, Patricia. Not today. Not today. He's failed finally. You know who's excited about this? Executive intern Anya.

She's wanted you to fail for so long. You've been getting a bit big for your boots. What about Claire? I feel like it could be Claire. It could have been Claire. Elena. I feel like it's a real Europe. That's why I got stuck on like Volvos and stuff.

It feels European. Oh, really? What is your mum's name, Elena? Ingrid. Ingrid! European. I'd say that's got a European ring to it. That's like, what is the origins of Ingrid?

It feels Nordic, right? And I got stuck on Volvos. God, I wish. Your spider senses were so... So I think it comes from around that area. Yeah, it's a Norse-Scandinavian

and Old Norse origin. Oh my God! Yeah. Your spidey senses were on to it. Tell Ingrid to get a Volvo. She's worked hard. She's got to

transport the rest of the orchestra. That big French horn's got to go somewhere. And Dad's name's Bob. Ingrid and Bob. Bob and Ingrid.

You'd never have guessed that. Not with Ingrid. Wow. I probably would have gone Hans. Hans and Ingrid. Yeah, Hans and Ingrid. All right. Well, Elena, unfortunately, no cash for you today because Vaughn has really failed.

Failed to guess your mum's name. Failed. But, yeah, still a winning percentage for 2021. Oh, yeah, I still feel good about it. Still feel good about it. No one else guessed either because people play along on the text machine. Nobody else guessed? Vivian, Jane and Eileen were some of the guests.

They were good guesses. Yeah, you read that Nordic vibe as well. Okay, well, it'll be back again in a couple of weeks and we'll see if Vaughan Smith can do it again. This woman is from New York. Chloe is her name and she had 33 cents to her bank account in 2019.

So this is a reasonably new business. Okay. She saw an opportunity and she has been helping men edit their dating profiles and she earns between 10 and 15,000 New Zealand dollars a month. A month?

Oh. Okay, that's some serious six-figure income. So she said the main thing she helps him with is photos. Just the photos. Yeah, right, okay. She seems to think that guys, her words, not mine, they aren't socialised on how to pose or smile for a picture. A couple that she's mentioned,

one was a 45-year-old who had a picture of him wearing a stupid T-shirt that's offensive to say on the radio. And he said, it makes me look young and hip. And she said, no, it doesn't. It makes you look creepy. And racist or inappropriate. No, not racist, just inappropriate. Another client, she said, in all of his photos,

had his hands hanging loosely at his side, staring into the camera with no expression on his face. Yes! She was like, no, you look like a serial killer. If you can't love me at my possible murderous, you don't deserve me at my Beyonce. That's the old saying. Is she just explaining boomers when they put up their Facebook profile?

It sounds like it. Yeah. But like, yeah, a lot of guys just struggle with the photo aspect. Every boomer's Facebook profile is them looking down their glasses at the laptop camera. Yeah. At some like unflattering angle over the chin being like, yeah, clip. That's my mum's WhatsApp photo. Yeah, I know.

She messaged me on WhatsApp. I'm like, Next time you're home You need to take the ring light Take the ring light Get Bev a nice A nice photo Neutral background A pastel

Get her a WhatsApp pic Oh god Help if any of our parents Broke up and got back Into the dating scene That's so weird Well you'd have to be You'd have to help them

Like this Ladies So yeah she has Clients from all over the world As well US, Canada UK, India, Japan China

And she said mostly Her requests are from Straight men And after that It's gay men Gay women And then straight women That need help

Okay But straight men Struggle the most Gay dudes don't need Any help getting laid That's what I would have thought If my gay friends Anything to go by,

they've actually got to choose not to most of the time. Right. Is that okay? Is that what they say? They're like, nah, I'm too tired. And I'll be like, look at you with all your choices, you crazy bastards. She has said she's got a 65-year-old

who is just getting back into the dating scene, so she's helping him out. She's got a 30-year-old guy who doesn't understand why he's not getting matched. And then there's an 18-year-old who is just getting back into the dating scene, so she's helping him out. She's got a 30-year-old guy who doesn't understand why he's not getting matched. And then there's an 18-year-old who would like me to teach him biology. Right. Needed help with the female anatomy. All over the spectrum.

Yeah, but mostly straight men. And she's earning bank up to $15,000 a month. I reckon I could do that. I mean, I've never actually used a dating app for myself. Yeah, but these guys are obviously just so clueless. And you'd just be like, well, I'm a woman. I would like to see this. Yeah, exactly.

So do that. Especially like, yeah, straight men. You'd just be like, do that. You look good there. Put that photo up. Take the fish off. No one cares about your car. Okay, you've taken out a lot of dating profiles.

A 15-year-old Megan would have cared about the car. Yeah. Okay. I was a bogan in my past life. Yeah, just because old bird Megan doesn't care too much about the car. That they can fit a can under their Subaru Forester. A can? What?

Do you remember that was how they used to, people used to show that their cars were low. They'd put like a can beside them. No one did that. In Hamilton. Oh, okay. Okay, Hamilton. Just us then.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day. Whoa, hold on, restart. You breathe in and you almost died. I've tried. It of the day. Hold on, restart. You breathe in and almost die. It's time for Fact of the day day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is that an ad for paint became so popular

they released an album. Okay. And trust British Paints. Oh, we don't Rolf Harris anymore, mate. No, you're cancelled. No, you're actually on a list now. Your mum had a run-in with Rolf Harris, right? Yeah, there's a photo of him giving her a cuddle.

I don't think that's appropriate Rolf Very handsy No, this was in America This was for the Fuller Paint Company They had radio ads promoting their new colours The radio ads were so popular That each ad was lengthened

And became its own song On a 1966 album called Colours And it was basically just like word jazz its own song on a 1966 album called Colours. And it was basically just like word jazz by a recording artist called Ken Nordin, who actually only died last year at the age of 98 years old. You might recognize his voice. If you're of our generation and watch Sesame Street, when you were a kid, he did Sesame Street, like little voiceovers for little bits on Sesame Street. He wasn't a character. He wasn't a Muppets voice on Sesame Street. When you were a kid, he did Sesame Street, like little voiceovers for

little bits on Sesame Street. He wasn't a character. He wasn't a Muppets voice on Sesame Street. He just did like little voiceovers for Sesame Street. This is the track listing for the album. 34 tracks. Olive, lavender, burgundy, yellow, green, beige, maroon, chartreuse, turquoise,

white, flesh, azure, puce, magenta, orange, purple, muddy, maroon, chartreuse, turquoise, white, flesh, azure, puce, magenta, orange, purple, muddy, rosette, amber, blue, black, gold, crimson, brown, rosy, hazel, mauve, fuchsia, sepia, nutria, cerise, grey, and coral were the tracks. Wow. Do you want to hear some of them? I found them. They're online.

Sure. This is a track called Maroon The times The number of times That you can make rhymes With that friend Maroon Sexy It's very sexy isn't it

It's cool He's got a great voice Do you remember him on On Sesame Street Were you about to say Shortland Street Shortland Street I was going to say Shortland Street.

On Sesame Street, he'd do those little where they'd cut away. And I'm pretty sure he was the voice of like, remember the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. And then it would go to another bit and it would talk. I'm sure he was the voice of that talking bit. So that's Maroon. Please say prune. Maroon. And they released a whole album.

Yeah, this is a song called Olive. Olive. Poor thing. It's great for a dinner party. Just have it on in the background. Little yaz.

Sure does. Lovely. This is Yellow. I'll fast forward into the middle bit. Was bad on yellow. Oh, listen to the voice. And caused yellow to weep yellow tears for several weeks.

Oh, that's jingling my bits. Yeah, I know. Turn the bass up a bit. Just turn the bass up. This is green. That's because there's so many different greens inside of green. There is. And each one has a different IQ.

Okay. I listened to so many of these last night. I can see how. And it was one of those things, you put it on and you're just like, like I zoned out and shut it because I had headphones on, shut it, I was like, what are you doing? I was like, what? How long have I been awake?

How long have I been asleep? What year is it? Where am I? Yeah, his name's Ken Nordean if you want to look it up online. And yeah, it basically started as like ads on the radio for paint colours that they had. This would be a great idea for St. Pierre's Sushi. St. Pierre's Sushi. Get that jingle on an album.

Yeah. Get about different jingles because there's a cappella version of that as well. Yeah, great idea. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is Ken Nordean's voiceover for a radio ad for Paint proved so popular they released an entire album. Fact of the day day, day, day,

day. Yeah. Well, producer Jared has made an intro for this segment Do, do, do, do. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Well, producer Jared has made an intro for this segment after its success last time, The Impossible Phone-In Topic. Are we ready? Uh-huh.

Oh, classic use of radio, sound effect, and Mission Impossible theme song. Good work. It's like if you're going to talk about aliens, you've got to play the X and Mission Impossible theme song. Good work. It's like if you're going to talk about aliens you've got to play the X-Files theme song. Yep. And you can talk about something that seems improbable. Yep. It's Mission Impossible. So the impossible phone-in topic. As we just mentioned last week

when you were away Megan we did the have you ever had to make an emergency landing on something not a runway? Wow. Did we receive some calls? Well, I've picked a news story here, which I think is going to be pretty hard. I'm thinking we're not going to get any calls on this. But then again, I did think that with the emergency landing thing. Now, this was in the news yesterday because the Health and Disability Commission,

they're the ones that investigate wrongdoing wrongdoing and incidents with like medical... Misdemeanors. Yeah, medical misdemeanors. Yeah, like, yep. Negligence. Negligence, that kind of stuff. Well, a man went in for abdominal surgery. This is in a hospital in Auckland.

Went in for a perforated colon and had an operation, needed emergency surgery. Okay. And then felt some discomfort in the weeks after. So two weeks later, after having abdomen pain, went back into the hospital. And that is when they found a surgical device the size of a bread and butter plate. So not the big dinner plate, the little plate. In his abdomen, which had been left there since his surgery three weeks

earlier. I was on the way to hockey last night when this story was on the radio news broadcast. Okay. And it said a surgical instrument was left inside a man and my daughter Indy, nine, looked at me like, an instrument

was left inside her and she's like, how did the instrument get in there? I was like, I'm during surgery I guess. And she's like, what they're like, yeah, it was the size, an instrument was left inside her. She's like, how did the instrument get in there? I was like, I'm during surgery, I guess. And she's like, what were they doing playing musical instruments in surgery? In her mind, they dropped like a tuba or a trumpet or a flute. Tambourine. A tambourine is the size of a dinner plate. A tambourine size into this. But this was, upon further investigation, this was sort of like, they make the

incision, and then they insert this thing in, and it acts like a tunnel for the sewers to get in to make the repairs, and then at the end you take it out and you stitch it up, but it fell in. Yeah, and then they stitched up. There's a picture of it in today's Herald, and I mean, it's massive.

Horrible that it happened. How'd they just leave it in? Horrible. Don't they count the they just leave it in? Horrible. Don't they count the amount of instruments? You know? Yeah. When afterwards they count again, yeah. But you see it on medical dramas.

I'm not watching New Amsterdam, but I'm imagining there's an episode where it happens in that because it happens in every medical drama since ER, MASH, Chicago Hope, Grey's Anatomy, blah, blah, blah, House, insert medical drama here. So it's probably happened on New Amsterdam. That's the one that everybody's watching at the moment. But has it happened to anybody listening?

Well, yeah, this is what I'm saying. Like, I mean, you know, humans make mistakes, don't they? Absolutely feel for... Oh, horrible situation. Like, yeah. And so, I don't know, has this ever happened to anyone? And have you ever had a medical instrument left in you? And this is the impossible phone-in topic.

I've had many surgeries, but I've never had that. How do you know? You might have some tweezers in there. Have you checked? I mean... You might have tweezers in there. Because you set off the metal detector, but that's just your... Your knee. My knee. Your knee, detector, but that's just your belt.

My knee. Your knee, eh? Oh, yeah, your knee. That's right. Your knee. Hip doesn't have metal. No, the screws got taken out of it. That got taken out.

Jesus, you're half robot, eh? Yeah. Still no good at sport. Well, the impossible finding topic. Now, because it's the impossible finding topic, it could be done and dusted after the ad break, and that's it. We just put it to bed.

But has this ever happened, or do you know of anyone that this has ever happened to? Fleets, Vaughan and Megan. Well, this is our second impossible phone-in topic, and it turns out it's not impossible, and it's actually put me off surgeries and entering a hospital ever. Just ask them to be real careful,

just as you're going under. Jeez, so we want to know if there's ever been a medical instrument left inside of you after an operation, because that's in the news at the moment. And yes, lots of stories coming in. My wife had surgery. Four weeks later, a large pimple thing showed up and started coming

to the surface and then as it worked its way closer to the surface, it was blue and we were like, what's going on here? When it got to the surface and we just cut it open and took it out of the home, it was the end of a blue vivid. What? What, like the felt end

or an actual cap like a cap? Oh, no, I wouldn't have meant a cap. You wouldn't have been able to pull the cap out. Like the little blue, like the blue felt nib. That's what I pictured. Was the rest of the pen out or in? Because then if you, like, finish doing your surgery drawings, and then you're like, where'd the end of that go?

Wouldn't you be like, oh, well, I think you'd write that off, wouldn't you? No. I don't know if that been an open surgical wound. You'd think the checklist at the end of a surgery would be like, have we got everything? Yeah, but they've got the pen. They weren't too worried about the tip of it. Well, yeah, if the cap was on, they wouldn't notice. Somebody else said they had a root canal.

And the dentist said at the end, I have to inform you that the file broke off deep in the root, but it was very small and shouldn't be a problem. Shouldn't? Are we sure? You'd want a heavy... Didn't that happen to Caitlin who worked here? She got a root canal and they left us one of those little

cotton thingies in there. I think, yeah. So she had to find another dentist. Years ago my grandad had a piece of dental equipment drop down his throat. Then he had to go to the x-ray afterwards for hospitals and it showed that it had landed in his lung. They thought they were going to have to do surgery to get it out.

And my granddad, as a joke, said, I'll do a headstand. And then when he was upside down, he jiggled it and he felt it move and then he felt it land in his mouth. The doctors could not answer how it worked. That cannot be true. No, that's an old mate's tale. That's an old mate's tale. That is.

Can stuff come up from your lungs? That's like a World War. Once it's in your lung, it's in there, right? But if it swallowed it and it was down, that could come back out. It could cough mucus up from your lungs. Yeah, true. That's like one of those old World War II stories. Oh, the bullet hit my watch.

That feels like, now that I've seen it, I'm like, my granddad would have told me at some stage. Yeah, yeah. Like, I would have fallen in, he would have coughed it out. There are some really sad stories coming through. Sometimes in surgery, we take the tip of that marker pen, take out the tip of the marker pen. We probably should include that in surgical count.

Yes. Why do they take the tip out? I don't know. Do they put it on tweezers and then tip out? I don't know. Do they put it on tweezers and then mark something? I don't know. Have you ever tried to write on something wet with a vivid? It doesn't work. I can't imagine a heart would work with a vivid, would it?

I don't think they're drawing on people's hearts with a vivid. Ask them what they're drawing on. Maybe the bones. They draw on the bones. No, but those would be wet. Oh, no, you can dry them. What are they taking the tip out for? I'm asking what they're doing.

We're literally asking them. We made the specimen with the tip of the pen. That's what they're doing. We marked the specimen. But what is an example of the specimen? Well, they're going to cut something out, right? Maybe they put a dot on it with a... Yeah, right.

But then how is it drawing on something that's... But it's not drawing on something. It's not like... It's like... Dab. Just let that dry before you pull it out. That'll come off pretty quick if you touch that. Yeah, right.

They just must dot it, and then somebody else goes in and cuts it out, and now they're laughing. They're sent in laughing. Oh, right. Okay, well... This must be a real hoot for surgeons. Who are just like,

oh, listen to these dumb idiots who don't know how to perform life-altering surgeries. Yeah. We're also not leaving stuff in there. It's not the standard vivid. Oh, right. They've messaged again

saying, you're imagining your standard vivid. This is a medical standard vivid. I've got vivids that can ride on wet stuff. I want a medical vivid.

Say yes. What for? I'm off to foot cools. For a wet vivid. For a wet vivid for a wet vivid ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan the podcast if you enjoyed this podcast

why not give ZM's free and Clinton a listen too subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts and music

lives here ZM