ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan’s Podcast - 21st June 2021

Episode Date: June 20, 2021

Aussies Biggest Family  Top 6: Dad Cakes  Holisterexia  Drag Race Down Under Winner!!What happened when you were connected to the Bluetooth?Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!!!  The Best Dad Joke (Allegedly)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleet Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Shout out to producer Jared, who put me right. Saturday night, my wife said to me, I feel like a steak. And I said, that's some hot pre-bedroom talk if you ask me. And I said, okay, let's... And I said, Jared's mentioned a steakhouse.

So we were on the road. We were already on the road in the car. She was driving because I'd had a few drinks. And, um, a five Z's or a, what do they call it? When you come off the ski field and at pray. Sure. So, um, I messaged Jared. I'm like, where was the place you mentioned on the North shore that does that amazing steak?

And I said, was it the Albany? Because I heard him say that and he was like, no, you want to go to Bushman's Grill. And I was like, Bushman's Grill? I Googled it. Beside the old Bonamu Tavern. If you've ever spent some time on the North Shore of Auckland, maybe you've been on the AUT Auckland side of things or maybe just a Takapuna local.

Glenfield? Northcote? Yeah, sure. I'm just naming surrounding districts that are close. And I went and I would mark it as one of the finest steaks I've had. Oh, my God. South Africans, no steak. This is a saffron hot spot.

Oh, my God. We were surrounded by South Africans. At one stage, I started calling Sade auntie. She's like, stop it, stop it. Someone's going to think you're South African and then they're going to ask you a bunch of questions and you're not going to have the correct answers. Yeah, lucky I didn't get questioned. But, oh, amazing.

And you discovered monkey gland sauce. Monkey gland sauce, which is amazing. What's that? It's not actual monkey. It's like a tangy. No, no, no. Nah. Just a tangy sauce.

I don't know why it's called monkey gland sauce. I don't know. Just the name of it. Traditionally made with the monkey gland. The gland of the monkey. And also had that South African dessert that- Peppermint crisp tart or mulva pudding? Both.

We had both. Oh, wow, okay. But that peppermint crisp tart. So full on South African experience. You loved it. Yeah. You should come for a braai one time. These are your people, I'm telling you.

I tell you, it's, yeah, we share a love of meat. It's draining because they cook everything for so long, and it takes ages, and I just want to eat dinner. You guys heard of a barbecue? All good things do take time. Yeah. But, you know, it was shit hot fletch. I reckon you'd not know what to do with yourself.

Yeah, I don't. It's on the shore. I don't do steak. You know, welcome back on the shore, you used to live on the shore Do you not do steak? No, it's been the last thing I chose on a menu Steak, every time Just too much red meat

I'm more of a chicken and fish guy Oh my god, you are such a boiled fish guy Boiled fish in a bag ZM Hit music lives here Flesh, fauna, Megan, the podcast Good morning, welcome to the show boiled fish in a bag. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Megan.

Two minutes past six. Good morning. Good morning. Stalking birthday cakes. Yes, because the top six is dealing with that. The top six cakes you'll get if you leave a dad in charge because there's two hyper-avoid dad cakes over the weekend. Clark Gayford made Niamh a second birthday cake. Yeah, this is the Prime Minister's partner.

Second or third? Third. Oh, no way, she was born... Yeah, third birthday. Oh, my God. Probably grosser for us. And it's a projector cake. Okay.

Quite genius. I thought there was like an iPad in there. Me too. I thought it was an iPad. No, the quality is terrible. Right. It wouldn't be an iPad. So there's a projector above the cake.

Projecting onto the cake, yeah. What's he's going to anchor that projector on the ceiling? And you can't move the cake. It's quite smart, isn't it? Yeah. Do you think he came up with that himself or he saw that online? But you also can't put your head above the cake. No.

And you couldn't angle, you know, you always angle your cake a little bit for a photo with your cake? Just a little angle of the cake. It's quite genius. Be very careful with that cake. No. And you couldn't, you know, you always angle your cake a little bit for a photo with your cake. Just a little angle of the cake. It's quite genius. Be very careful with that cake. Well, the top six

dealing with birthday, this is quite timely because obviously you're making me a cake. For your birthday. For my birthday. That's correct. Is that on the list?

Yep. No, not the one we're making you because that's going to be a surprise. But the top six cakes you'll get if you leave Dad in charge

because a Christchurch dad made his Bunnings loving child a Bunnings cake. Not of the logo of the store. Of the store. Wow.

Does the kid love Bunnings or does dad just drag the kid to Bunnings all the time? Pretty bit of both. Yeah. Yeah, both I think. Kids love the big

hardware stores because there's always a playground. Yeah. You just drop them off because it's behind pool fencing and pool fencing also for sale there Pretty a bit of both Yeah A bit of both I think Kids love the big hardware stores Because there's always a playground Yeah You just drop them off Because it's behind pool fencing And pool fencing also for sale there And then you can go

And do some shopping 30% 3 in 10 I did good maths On a Monday Americans Have become friskier During COVID

So I don't know If that translates To New Zealand, but it's not actually acting on it. So in their mind, they've become friskier. So they've discovered something they might be into, shall we say. Right. 32% have admitted they have a kink that their partner doesn't know about.

Another 46% are in relationships and they want to spice up their sex life, but they're worried their partner doesn't know about. Another 46% are in relationships and they want to spice up their sex life, but they're worried their partner's going to judge them. You just do that thing though, where you're like, hey, would you be into this? And they're like, ooh, no, why would you say that? You're like, I'm only joking. Ha ha ha, just joking.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Ooh, yeah, yuck, I just, ha ha ha ha. Oh, I was totally joking. It's like when you're a kid and you're like, do you want to go around with Steve? And they're like, no, Steve sucks. You're like, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, Steve doesn't want to go around with you either.

It was just a joke. And then when you get older, you just change what the joke is. Yeah. Like kinky stuff. Exactly. But some of them, 44%, it's as basic as trying a new position. 44% of people have admitted they wanted to try something new but they're too

worried to talk about it. Because there's lots of positions and some of them are bendy and some of them require a lot of confidence to even begin to attempt.

But your partner's not going to shame you for asking about a position. Or what if it's a weird position? What could be? I don't know. What do,

the sundial. The corkscrew. Yeah. The, uh, froggy froggy splash. The screaming, um. You're very quiet over there. Dark horse. Yeah, what about the screaming tugboat? What is that? That sounds

intriguing. Yeah. We've got the old, um, reverse astronomer. Yeah. We've got the old reverse astronomer. Yeah. That's another one of them. Astronomer. Yeah. You got the angry greenskeeper. Yeah.

That's a favourite. Well, you don't even, if you don't want the angry greenskeeper, I've got a feeling you don't know what the angry greenskeeper is. You're really missing a trick. Yeah. If you're not doing that. I don't know what the angry greenskeeper is. You're really missing a trick. If you're not doing that. I don't know. Have a conversation. Right.

You might find that your partner's one of the people in this percentage that actually does want to spice things up a little bit. He's too afraid to bring it up with you. Maybe they want to try out the frustrated hairdresser. That one's, yeah. And on. Oh. That sounds painful.

That one's... Yeah. And you've got to have pubes. Obviously. To do that one, sure. Yeah, they do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

Well, as countries around the world roll out various COVID-19 vaccines, a lot of them using incentives, prizes. Well, America had, and they're going to have on July 4th in Texas, free beer, if you can prove you're vaccinated. A lot of places are doing free beer, free donuts. There was a lottery. One of the states had a lottery.

Well, before I tell you what the Dutch are doing, here is a list of what some are doing. Russia, cars. They're offering cars. Free cars? Well, you go like a lottery for a car. Washington State, we talked about this. Marijuana,

spliffs if you're over 21. Spliffs. At certain pharmacies. Indonesia, live chickens. Okay. Live chickens. Hong Kong had the chance to win a $2 million apartment. Wow. In the US, like you mentioned, lotteries.

California, they've got 10 top prizes of $1.5 million. New York's doing a vax and scratch. Vax and scratch. A wax that says like a wax and scratch. $5 million top prize. Wow. So just like you just get like an instant Kiwi basically when you do your vaccine. Ohio is giving away five scholarships to all of the states, universities and colleges.

Isn't this nuts? I know, isn't it? Because if you thought about, okay, in the future, there's going to be a global pandemic, and when the vaccine comes out, the incentive that it could save your life is not enough for humanity. No, no, exactly. God, no. We need to bribe you into it.

Maine are giving away 10,000 fishing and hunting licences, and same in West Virginia are hunting rifles and custom trucks. Wow. Wow. Wow. As if that wasn't enough. And the Dutch are now on board and they are giving away, with their vaccines, pickled herrings. Pickled fish.

Pickled herrings. Pickled herrings. Now, apparently this is a delicacy in the Netherlands. 75 million of these pickled herrings are eaten every year. So it says the herring is a two-step curing process. You cure it in salt to extract the water from the herring. And then the salt's removed and the herring is brined in vinegar, salt and a sugar solution.

Okay. Sugar. This could be good. I wasn't on board until you said like is it a bit of a sweet and sour vibe? Maybe.

If it's got sugar in it. I know about the pickled herring because the South Africans are heavily influenced by the Dutch. So they just fizz over

the pickled herring and the pickled fish. Yeah, right. And what does it taste like? Just fish? No, well. Like salty fish? Maybe it wouldn't eat it. Yeah, right. And what does it taste like? Just fish? Like salty fish? Megan wouldn't eat it. No, it's I ate the sauce and it does have a sweet

aspect to it. It's like a sweet Yeah. I mean, it's not my jam. I'd rather have a live chicken. I know. From Indonesia. This is like the worst COVID vaccination incentive ever. But then I guess if they all love them,

a bit of food. But you want something that you can't just buy yourself. Yeah, you're saying like a treat, but these are something you could probably get like at a tin or a jar at a supermarket anyway, right?

Oh yeah, look. $7.50 for Marche's herrings. So that's 250 grams of pickled herring there. So what is this like? This sounds to me like donating blood and getting a cup of tea and a biscuit. Yeah, it does. Yeah, yeah. You're going along.

You're getting your vaccine. And on the way out, they're like, yeah, have a pickled herring. I don't know if they've got some tongs and they just have a big container. You wouldn't put your fingers in. Well, they just let you pick one out of the, I don't know how it works. Kippers, boneless herring snacks. Can you buy them here? $2.50 at the moment.

Good Lord. Yeah, you can. Apparently so. All right, 20 past six. Next on the show, if you're getting older. Spoiler alert, you are. There's something you can't fight. Like Leanne Rimes said, you can't fight the moonlight.

There's something else you can't fight. On today's podcast, the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under. Condragulation, you're number one. I will play ZM's Fletch Forna Megan. I've got bad news. Okay. Especially for Megan who spent the weekend with goggles on in a red light tunnel getting punished by a sander to the face or something.

I don't know what happened to your face at the weekend. Laser beams. Yeah. What happened to your laser beam face? I have had laser pigment removal. I was like, this is fun and games. It hurt. Well, essentially it's tattoo removal of a tattoo you were born with, right?

Okay, yeah. I didn't think about that. A tattoo that- What were you getting removed? Like right? Okay, yeah. I didn't think about that. A tattoo that... What were you getting removed? Like just all the pigment on my face and my chest. Right. Freckles. I was like, why does...

It's not freckles. It is. It's freckles. Freckles. What's wrong with getting rid of freckles? I've got like a sun spot on my face. Freckles are cute as shit. Look at this.

But one side hurts so much more than the other, and it's because it's the side that you drive on So like the sun coming in the window Oh, okay The sun I remember that when dad drove trucks He'd always have a real tan right arm Because he always had it in a singlet

And he put on sunscreen but he'd come home and he'd look half a different Just that arm The window arm was always just so much darker. Yeah. It hurt. And then I have like a cooling gel I have to put on it because it essentially feels like sunburn. Huh.

I'm getting my back lasered today and I've got to the point where it's actually like I don't have many hairs left on my back. Oh yeah, right. Good. But that means they've really got to crank it. Remember last time I got really, really hurt. Dead really hurt. That means they've really got to crank it. Remember last time I got, where we heard. There, where we heard. I'd rather get my butthole lasered 10 times

than get the large expanse of my back done. Yeah. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Well, it seems that we are fighting the inevitable. The latest research in fighting off the effects of ageing have shown that we are nowhere near being technologically advanced enough to do it. God damn.

So this isn't just like looking younger, but this is the effects on the body of growing older, the deterioration of cells. Yeah, right. We're more prone to cancers and everything when you get older just turns to shit. Well, they're trying to fight it. They're trying to invest money and look into what can delay that so that we're a healthier society. I mean, we're already living longer through the advancements.

We don't want to live too much longer. My KiwiSaver won't last. The other thing I've got to think about. Everyone's having less kids, so the next generation of taxpayers is going to be smaller and we'll burn through our KiwiSaver and they will be like, money please, and there'll be no monies. The boomers are going to take all of our retirement. The boomers are going

to milk it. That sounds like forethought. I don't have much of that. Yeah. I'm just going to get to a point where if they don't solve this problem I hope they invent that thing that was in all the sci-fi movies in the 80s and 90s where you jumped in a chamber and you were like cryogenically frozen until they figured out the world's problems.

I'll be down for a bit of that. Oh, and then you come back as a fighting army. They defrost you. Oh, you're thinking of Universal Soldier. That was a great movie, by the way. Jean-Claude Van Damme at its finest. I was just thinking freezing and then defrosting when it's warm. Oh, okay.

More like Futurama. Yeah, but you'd be like that mince that you defrost for dinner. It's still cold on the inside. Yeah, you'd be real pink on the... True. They haven't developed microwave technology to be able to defrost frozen mince without cooking some of it. Oh, and that brown jelly oozes out of it.

Yeah. You can come back and be like, what is that mince? It's new world probably soon. They're like, ah, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, granddad smells like cooked mints.

Not the good kind either. No. No sauce. So it's an industry that's apparently had 610, well, by 2025, will have $610 billion invested into it. Wow. Scientists spending decades trying to sort of like identify the aging

at a cellular level, the aging, and how to either stop it or reverse it. And they said, oh, we've just, the latest study is just that we are miles off. Right, so you're screwed. Lovely. How long before you get a face job? You can have your freckles removed, but it's not

right. It's not going to stop the rest of it. Yeah, you'll get a face job? You can have your freckles removed, but it's not right. It's not going to stop the rest of it. Yeah, you'll get a face job. I tell you, it's a matter of time before I turn up to work and I'm like, do I look pretty? And we have to coordinate. I'll be like, Jesus, did someone defrost you in the microwave? You look cooked.

They've got a YouTube channel. Of course they do. You look cooked ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast They've got a YouTube channel Of course they do The Bonnell family of Australia Australia's largest families One of Australia's biggest families They say we're the Bonnells One dad, one mum, 16 kids and praying for more

Of course they are Of course they are Are they 16 children that she grew in her body? Big blessed life. You're not right if you want 16 and you want more. What's wrong with you? Are you just a sucker for punishment? Could you imagine having 16 of what you've got? Good Lord, no.

I just think she's been pregnant and done that 16 times. Like, how long have they been together? Because that would be a long time of their marriage. She's just been pregnant. But they've got a lot of babysitters. Well, they've got the inbuilt babysitters, right? That's true. Good Lord. Well, they've got the inbuilt babysitters, right? Yeah, that's true. They, oh God.

So it was last year, just before COVID, that they announced they were expecting in addition to their brood, her oldest daughter is pregnant with second child. Oh my God, they're on to the next generation. So she's got a daughter who's at the

same age as her daughter's child. Wow, okay. Did you know one of those families growing up? No. That had, I did, like there was this guy, went to school with him and he called somebody else uncle, but uncle was younger than him.

All the same, around about the same age. Oh, right, okay. That's weird, eh? Because the parents had kept breeding. My dad's got an auntie that's the same age as him. Yeah, I get what you mean. Yeah. Yeah.

So his grandparents would have kept breeding. Just had a lot of kids. Yeah, there's a lot of kids. There's a lot of kids. There's a lot of kids. So of her 16 children, they're aged between 29 and 4. So, hold on, what's the gap there? 25 years and there's 16 of them

So She'd spent A large amount of time So much Pregnant And this is why This has gone viral A couple of them

Have got a David Bain look To them I don't know If that's how They've gone viral I mean You're going to need A lot of bullets though

You know We're just Vaughn Smith They've gone viral. I mean, you're going to need a lot of bullets though. Vaughn Smith. This family have gone viral because of their supermarket shop for the week. Yeah. Okay, this is bullshit too because she just popped into the supermarket and she really only cost her $125. What is she feeding them, dust? I can pop to the supermarket

and it costs me 125 bucks. And that's just popping to the supermarket. Yeah. But then also, she's like, this is our shopping list and it's like eggs

and no, not free range. No. No. Caged. They don't want their chicken seeing a bloody ray of sunlight in their whole life.

Otherwise, they can't afford the eggs. But it's like white bread, eggs, like, you know, basic stuff. Yeah. But then she's shopping for this many people. Granted, some of them must have left home by now.

She doesn't say how many have flown the nest, but the oldest dudes are going to be like, we out. We can't be bringing girls back here. Girls, guys, whatever they want to bring, whoever they want to bring home. They can't be bringing them back to bloody crazy old Jenny with her 16 children. So, yeah, so she lists it out, but then doesn't include all the expensive stuff

that gets you on the shop. You know, like, actually I need deodorant. And oh, I've got to get toothpaste. And I've got to get a new toothbrush. And then you get to the cleaning aisle and you're like, actually, we need toilet duct. All of it, yeah. Spray and wipe.

All that stuff that always makes, and then you get to the end and you do your, and they send you the, you get the tally and you're like, and it surprises you. She doesn't mention any of that stuff. Like what kind of house do they live in? And how many bathrooms? Could be a lot of bunk beds.

Could just be fighting for a shower. It would be, I'm assuming everybody's in a bunk bed, even mum and dad, which makes it questionable as to how they keep having more children. They have a mini event. See, this has actually got me interested in their YouTube channel now. So their YouTube channel, I can tell you something about that. Oh, my God.

She had cancer. Oh, my God. Now do you feel bad taking the piss out of her? Well, I didn't give her cancer. I'm not taking the piss out of that situation. But hasn't she got enough to deal with? Yeah. My daughter shaved off her hair for charity.

One birthday party for three grandbabies and big news. That was a month ago. Why are they making some money off of this? Easter 2021, a larger. So this seems like they've really kicked off the YouTube channel this year, maybe because they've had some interest. Right. Mother's Day with the mum of 16.

God, you'd be expecting some. They all trip in for one great gift or they're all chonking in. One of her kids got engaged. A large meat haul for a large Australian family. They're at some sort of bulk butcher situation. That's had 16,000 views. God, that'd be a lot of mints. How much mints would you need to feed a family of 16?

All of it? I'm assuming all of the mints. Just the whole cow every night. Watching the super blood moon in bedtime Milos. Oh my God, they're making bedtime Milos and they've got like eight bottles of milk out. Of course they do. You wouldn't be getting a cold Milo in that house.

You'd be having a hot Milo, predominantly water, only a splash of milk. Watered down. So what would their weekly food bill be? Does it say? She reckons about 400 to 500 Australian dollars. Oh yeah.

We'd go through that. Easy. You guys are eaters though. You guys are wasteful eaters. Yeah, none of these 16 children look overnourished. None of them look like they sit down to a... There's no pudge. Yeah you know. None of them look like they sit down to a...

There's no pudge. Yeah, they don't look like they sit down to just a biscuit and end up eating a whole pack by themselves. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. From the ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. A couple of high-profile cake makers over the weekend. Clark Gayford made a cake for Nev's third birthday,

apparently due to indecisiveness, which is a classic of three-year-olds. Classic of three-year-olds. Make your mind up, kid. He made a television cake, and then thanks to the help of a projector, the cake can be a whatever themed cake is required in the moment. Quite genius, really.

Yeah. I mean, you've got to have a projector. Because you can chuck an iPad in there. And then take it out when you can't have. But the Prime Minister's definitely off cake making duties now. No, well, I mean. After this. Yeah, what did she make last? The piano cake. The piano out of the. No, well, I mean... After this. Yeah, what did she make last year? The piano cake.

The piano out of the... Oh, yeah, that had a lean-on. Yeah. But another cake made over the weekend was a dad was left in charge of making his son's cake and made a Bunnings warehouse. Like, the cake, a standard sort of like rectangular cake, maybe with a slightly curved roof, and then printed out Bunnings made the big, you know,

white door of the Bunnings, stuck that on the front. There's a car park out the front. There's even, it looks like he's made it on chalkboard or something underneath the chopping block, and it says trade entrance, because you've got to have your trade entrance well signposted. I think this was my, if I was a kid I'd like this cake better because

there's more cake. The Prime Minister's daughter's cake less cake. It looked like quite a little flat cake. Whereas this one has more to eat. And when you're a kid it's all about the icing. Yeah, exactly. Eating more of the icing. Well, I've got the top six other cakes you'll get if you leave Dad in charge,

a.k.a. cakes that your Dad wants. You could give your Dad any of these cakes and he'd be stoked to have them. Okay. Number six on the list, a cake of a well-mown lawn surrounded by a perfectly trimmed hedge. Oh, yeah. Very simple. Square cake. Green, and then I'm guessing green sprinkles. Yep. Green sprinkles. Very simple. Square cake, green, and then I'm guessing green sprinkles.

Yep. Green sprinkles or coconut that you lay out and you spray it with green slowly. And nice lines. Yeah, and then lay them in the lines back and forth, back and forth, and then the hedge just perfectly trimmed box hedging. Number five on the list of the top six cakes you'll get if you leave dad in charge, and these are also cakes your dad wants A cake that's meat themed Like a burger cake

Or a steak cake Dad would be all about a cake that looks like a big Fat juicy T-bone steak Number four on the list Of the top six cakes your dad Will get if you leave your dad in charge Or cakes that your dad wants, are matching dad-child gumboots.

Oh, yeah. Or maybe if your dad's different shoes for different people, like maybe Crocs. Yeah. Or slippers. If your dad's a Croc wearer, a lovely pair of slippers. Some Uggs, perhaps, if your dad's got a colder foot. Number three on the list of the top six cakes you'll get

if you leave your dad in charge, a large container of motor oil, or a cake that looks like one at least because you always need to be checking and topping up your car's oil. And a cake is a nice reminder. And they've all got a favourite brand as well. They might be like Castrol Dad. Okay. He likes Castrol.

Do you have a favourite oil? I'm just whatever's cheapest. Yeah. I'm not going to lie to you. But it's like a good bottle of wine at a restaurant. Go like second cheapest. Yeah. Like the synthetic one? You're like, oh yeah,

that's the best. I don't know what you mean, what you're saying, but okay. You stand in front of that thing at the petrol station and you're like, they charge this much because I've been caught short. I'm here now. I need the oil. If I had time to go to like super cheap or Repco, I know I could get this cheaper number two on the list

of the top six cakes you'd get if you leave dad in charge a sports team logo cake oh yeah what do you mean you don't love the Warriors I thought you loved the Warriors

no dad that's you that loves the Warriors yeah I do love the Warriors and number one on the list of the top six cakes you'll get if you leave dad in charge

a cake of a free t-shirt that he got years ago that he wears all the time but somehow keeps it in pretty good condition. Do you know my Dad's still got a functioning T-shirt from the first ever radio station I worked at? So he would have got that T-shirt in like 2002. Wow.

And every now and then you'll be there and he'll be getting it. He only ever wears it to bed, but he'll chuck it on, he'll come out in his bloody Ford silk boxer shorts and his black T-shirt from the generator where I worked in Hamilton. And you'll be like, how do you make a T-shirt last that long and just can't get washed?

The washing machine would have killed it by now. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I am the box. Well, the box is in studio. $20,000 cash is inside. And to win that cash, you need to give us a four-digit PIN number. Now that we know that there's a seven in there somewhere.

And on Friday, another clue went out. It went out at ZM Online Instagram. And it's on the box screen in front of you now, Vaughan. Yeah, this clue will make you think, but a lot of the letters are replaced with numbers. TH15, CLU3, W1LL, M4K3, Y0UUTH1NK. So it's getting cryptic. Now, the closed pages at ZM Online,

along with all of the guesses that we've had, that were wrong. Jess joins us. Good morning, Jess. Good morning. How are you? Good, good. Now, $20,000 cash, that's a lot of money.

It is. What would you do with it? So I'm going halves with a friend whose little boy needs his tonsils out. Is that not what you care about the public health system? You've got four years to wait. Are you serious? When we were kids, they just used to whip those out willy-nilly. Yeah, I remember.

And I got jelly in hospital. Did you get yours out? Yeah, I've had mine out. I only wanted mine out for the jelly and ice cream diet. Did you not get yours? I've got mine, baby. Ooh, yuck. Ooh, my tonsils.

I don't think you should tonsil shame him. Yeah, no. Ooh, my tonsils. I had no idea we were working with someone with tonsils. I'm sorry that some of us kept all of our body parts. When we're finished here, can I see your tonsils? I don't know. How do you see them?

You just go, ah. Oh, my God. I've never looked into another person's your tonsils? I don't know. How do you see them? You just go, ah. Oh, my God. I've never looked into another person's mouth to see what they don't have. Okay, well, Jess. I'll show you my non-tonsils. Listen, tonsil money. I can't believe there's a four-year. Fletch couldn't hold on to anything.

Appendix gone. Tonsils are gone. You probably had your adenoids out too, you breathing wimp. You breathing wimp. Wow. I made my adenoids up. breathing wimp. You're breathing wimp. Wow. I mean, my ad minds up. I've still got my,

what's the appendix? Testicles. What are you pointing at? I've still got my appendix. I haven't had that out. I thought they took that out when they did your hernia. I had a hernia.

I thought they did it to two for one. No, that was my belly button. They popped your belly button back in. I got a free belly button popping on the public health care. You got a belly button tuck.

Yeah. He's been getting cosmetic surgery way before it was cool. All right. Now, Jess, what four digit pin do you want us to try? Seven, seven, four, six. Now, what does that spell? Adenoids. It spells spin.

Seven, seven, four, six. Here we go, I'm about to press the tick. Oh! Sorry, Jess. There's always next time. I've got to learn exactly how long you can type the four in and then leave it for that dramatic pause. Jess, unfortunately, no cash today.

Back to the drawing board, but we do have for you a double pass to Marvel Studios' Black Widow, which is in cinema July 8th and streaming on Disney+, with premiere access July 9th. Conditions apply. Another shot to win that cash coming up at 8 o'clock this morning. Next, we want to talk about hylistorexia. I'll explain exactly what it is.

God, is there nothing Fletch had done? Also, apologies to anybody who's had their adenoids removed. I don't know why I took a shot at you. You've had it pretty tough. On today's podcast, the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under. Condragulation. You're number one.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. You were just absolutely going for people with adenoids. I just feel like this break, you're just going to play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. You were just absolutely going for people with adenoids. I just feel like this break, you're just going to absolutely go for people. I wasn't absolutely going for people with adenoids. I was making fun of Fletch that he would have been the person who had adenoids. I haven't had my adenoids. I've only had my tonsils.

This tonsil gate, I can't believe. I don't even know that they served a purpose. Apparently, they're very important to your immune system, and that's why they always get infected is because they're doing all the hard lifting. We just spent that song with our flashlights on looking at each other's... Megan's got these gaping holes.

Oh, yeah, yuck. Do you ever get anything caught in there? No. Are you ever like... Because there's like, I don't know, a piece of lettuce or something in there? You've got like weird little bubbly mounds in there. Yeah, and they're like, take this, pathogen.

No, you've got like ball bags in your mouth. That's what they look like. Tonsils look like ball bags. Tiny, delicious ball bags. Tiny, delicious ball bags. Not big, swollen ball bags. Never had tonsillitis in my life. Well, I've Googled images.

That's what happens when you get tonsillitis. It looks like you've got a couple of big ball bags swollen. Well, you've had ball bags in your mouth. I have not. Even when I was a kid, every time I had a sore throat, I'd be to mum, I'd be like, I've got tonsillitis. She'd be like, no, you don't. And the doctor would be like, no, you don't.

You've just got a cold. And I'd be like, damn it, one day I'll get tonsillitis. I've never got tonsillitis. It's not pleasant, just by the way. No, I know, but when you're a kid, you just want the ice cream in the galley for four days. Yeah. And there's a four-year wait for tonsils to be removed.

Come around, I'll bloody get the craft life out in a bloody ever-ready head torch. I'll get them out. Well, we're about to talk about hyaluronidase, and I just feel like you're going to absolutely come for these people too. So you might have heard a few years ago there was a buzzword. I think it was orthorexia. This was an obsession with healthy eating that becomes unhealthy. So you're so obsessed with like doing everything

that goes in your mouth has got to be healthy and what's right for you that it becomes an unhealthy obsession. Well, there's psychologists that are saying it's one step further now and it's called hylesterexia. So basically this is doing things and every activity in your life from bathing, eating, sleeping, must be done in a specific way to be conducive to achieving a perfect optimum health. So one example is a woman who she wakes up to the sound of exotic birds squawking because it's said to boost energy levels although i have a bird song to wake me up because it just is nicer than oh yeah i use the birds alarm yeah i got birds it is it's a lot nicer this morning birds were connected to a

bluetooth headset so my alarm was like silent well that's why you were late yeah i woke up and i was like man it feels like i should be awake by now. And I looked at the clock, I was like, I should have been awake 15 minutes ago. So, I mean, yeah, she starts her day with this squawking of exotic birds. Then she has beside her on a bedside table the smell of sweet basil. So she sniffs that to reduce stress. Then she does 20 minutes of meditation. Then she has like this amaranth porridge for breakfast.

So like every part of her day is focused on, you know, optimum health, mental, physical. That sounds like it's bordering on OCD, doesn't it? That's what it sounds like. That's what psychologists are calling hyaluronic acid. So there's all those holistic things we can do for our body and of course they're great

but like if you're obsessing over it, if you're obsessing, then it does absolutely take over your life. Like it's having the opposite effect because you're going too far. Because then if you are ever drifting off it, like if you want to go out for dinner somewhere and there's something,

you're with a bunch of people maybe and it doesn't fit your lifestyle, are you going to stress about it or are you going to be fine? And you're not going to enjoy yourself. No. Yeah. But I would know quite a few people,

I think, that would almost fall under this category. Me. Absolutely. You are the furthest away. You've got to be further away from this. I am a creature of holistic routine. I feel like you would actually benefit from a bit of meditation I've tried

It just doesn't Because they're like think of nothing I'm like nothing? You mean everything? All at once? No no no no It's important to relax And think of nothing

Ah nothing Everything I've ever said Everything I've ever said that's embarrassed me or someone else Ah, nothing Everything I've ever said Everything I've ever said that's embarrassed me or someone else Ah, yes, nothing Every recipe I've got saved in Facebook links Ah, yes, nothing Somebody I'm eight cousins with When I try to meditate, I generally think of what I'm going to eat next

But at least you're focusing on one thing. Yeah not everything. Not everything that's flowing in from all over the place. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier. As it heralds new podcasts the front page is your short sharp daily news podcast. Join me Damien

Venuto every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and news makers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. ZM's Fletch Warner-Megan, the podcast. A sterling sports in Cambridge in the Waikato over the last five years

have had seven burglaries, five of which have been ram raids on the store, where they literally just drive a car. Through the doors. Yep, into the door to try to break it off. So seven times in five years, statistically. That's a lot. That's a lot. A lot of ram raids.

Says a lot about the quality of goods in the store, though, doesn't it? Yeah, looking at the photo from the latest break-in, they have had some pretty intense-looking steel beams put outside, and they've ripped the bumper off what looks to be some sort of Nissan ute. Oh, okay. That was used in the ram raid. So those bars they've had installed seem to be doing the job. Right.

But it must have been enough to hit the door to weaken that to the point where they could crowbar it open and steal stuff. But seven in five years, that's too many. I mean, one in ever if you're a store owner. This would be heartbreaking. There's a couple happening in a year, right? Yeah. Twice.

Yeah, yeah. One of those, there's five, five and then two more. So, yeah, two of those years if they've had double. So, clothing taken in the raid. Nike clothing are particularly popular. Imagine stealing a car to ram it into a store to steal some hotties or track pants. Yeah. There's only ever one shoe out the front.

Yeah. And the person's not there to go and get them for you. Amputees. We're looking for one-legged people. Yeah, imagine breaking in. You've only got a right leg. You break in but there are only the left shoes out. You're like, well, damn it.

So, yeah, it was, of the times I've been ram raiding, apparently people steal the vehicles and then ram raid with them. Dub the vehicle. Statistically, that's more than their fair share. And it doesn't have to be being robbed, because I understand not everybody's a business owner and fingers crossed not every business owner gets robbed. But I was wondering if you've had something happen to you

more than statistically... Acceptable. Yeah, more than statistically acceptable. Like you're well above the average in how many times something's happened to you. It can be good or bad. Okay. Like maybe you're that person

and ooh, everybody else hates you, but you keep buying like, for example, like a raffle, but you keep buying, for example, a raffle ticket and you keep winning. And you keep winning the raffle ticket. You should just opt out if you're that lucky. Yeah, just make a nameless donation. Like those people that win First Division Lotto like three times. You want to stop buying.

They've won. You don't need to buy anymore. Nah, because if you only got First Divvy when it was like back after a big Powerball and you split it if you only got first Divvy When it was like back after a big Powerball And you split it and you only got $200,000 only You know Powerball gets up to like $29 million And then the first week after that it's like $4 million And you're like I feel like I got

By one week I got robbed of $25 million But maybe on the other side of things You just have statistically Way more bad luck than other people Like maybe you've broken your leg like 10 times. Oh, yeah. Like by then you wouldn't leave the house, eh? You need a new leg.

You need a new leg by then. You'd probably be stealing these shoes. You'd probably be rammering to steal a shoe for your good leg to look after that leg a bit better. So we want to take your calls. 0800 DARS at M. You can text as well, 9696. What have you had happen to you far more than statistically reasonable?

Give us a call. A Cambridge sports store, Sterling Sports in Cambridge. If you're in Cambridge, go and buy a pair of pants. Use some shoes maybe. Support them. Yeah, support them. Been robbed for the seventh time in five years. So much so that in this news story about it,

you can click, it says like there's a couple of hyperlinks in it, like the blue writing that you get a line under. You can click on it and read the other stories about the times they've been broken into. Oh, man. That's sad. Because in 2019, it was fifth ram raid for Christchurch Sports Store. Owner running out of options.

Oh, God. You said Christchurch Store. No, I didn't. Oh, Cambridge. Did I say Christchurch? Yeah, Cambridge. I meant Cambridge. Okay.

So this is number seven. So we're talking this morning about what you've had happen to you far more than statistically reasonable. Yeah, Alice joins us. Alice, good morning. Hi. All right, hit us with this stat. So over the past 10 years,

I've had my car taken out by a bus about three times. Specifically by a bus? Yeah, so all three different cars in three different locations all while I was parked on the side of the road. Oh, so you haven't even been in the car? No, so first time was I was parked outside a friend's place. Yep.

And the bus stop was about three houses further up the road. Yep. And the bus went to pull in to pull into the bus stop and took out

the front, the driver's corner. The front of the driver's side. Yeah. Um, another time was parked outside work and the bus

didn't misjudge the turning circle and took out a back corner. Oh my God. And then another time was in a car park and they, for some reason, it was like one of those little, it wasn't the big, you know, Howard Easton buses type thing. And the first two characters were the big buses. And then it was a little like charter bus and they did the same thing misjudged they're turning into i love i'll do that i'm doing a turn and i'll be like oh not gonna make it and i just stopped but they're like oh not gonna make it they're the gambling type a am i gonna make this that one too that was not like i had a little car at that stage because the first one I had just a little Ford Laser.

Right. That one was a big Ford Ranger. Okay. So it's not like they didn't see it. Oh, right. Are you now, when you park your car, are you, when you see a bus stop, you're like, oh, just give this a wide berth?

Yeah. I just get a little bit of anxiety. Wow. That's great. See, again, though, statistically, that's happened to you way more than it should. Thanks, you call, though, statistically, that's happened to you way more than it should. Thanks, you call, Alice. Olivia, what's happened to you statistically more than it should?

Well, it's like probably not all the time, but it feels like every time we go out for dinner and a group of people, mine is like the last meal to arrive and not by like a minute, by like five minutes. So does everybody have to wait for you and their food's sitting there and you're like, hmm? Depends who it is.

You say, just start without me, start without me, don't let me get caught. I hate when that happens. You don't have to wait. I hate when that happens because then you're like, well, they've forgotten about me. They've forgotten. Obviously they've forgotten about me. I always thought the rule of hospitality is you deliver them all at the same time.

You keep them under that warm lamp that people have in their bathrooms. But then sometimes if you're with like a BYO of 20 people or 15, they just got to get through as quick as they do, don't they? Olivia, thanks for your call. Jordan, what happens to you statistically more than it should? Good morning. Yeah, so I'm a frequent hiccup-er. I get hiccups almost daily, and I don't know why.

Oh, my God. Have you ever, like, spoken to a GP or something about it? No, because I think about it. I get the hiccups, and I'm like, oh, maybe I'll go to the doctor. But by the time that I'm like, I'll go and book the appointment, they're gone. Boy, do I have news for you. Oh, okay.

I saw this yesterday. No, I saw this yesterday. Somebody has invented a straw that can get rid of hiccups. A straw? How it works is it looks like a straw and you pop it in your mouth. It looks like a cross between a straw and an asthma inhaler. Oh, yeah. And you just pop it in your mouth

or you could just look like you're having a cool vape. But you just pop it in your mouth and you put your lips around it when you get the hiccups. It won't let air flow through it any quicker than just a slow breath. So when you hiccup, it won't let you swallow the air, which apparently chills out the spasming of the diaphragm. Right.

Well, why can't you just put a straw in your mouth? Because it doesn't control the, there's a little valve in it that will only let so much air through at once. I was reading about this yesterday. They've worked out the perfect amount of air. Yeah, it's on Kickstarter. Oh, okay. It's on Kickstarter and the patent is pending. Oh, okay.

But I wonder why your diaphragm's very spasmy. I wonder why you get it every day. It's so interesting. It's really bizarre. Have you had your tonsils out? No, I haven't. Neither. You haven't?

God. No. Do you eat like real spicy food or do you eat too quick? I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. I thought maybe I wasn't like drinking enough water or breathing weird, but yeah, I've got an idea. Okay, all right.

Hic away. By the way, if you're going to go away and Google it, it's called hic away. Hic away. I-C-C away. Okay. Hic away. Hic away. I-C-C away. Okay. Away. All right. Jordan thinks you call

some text messages on what you've suffered through more than statistically reasonable. I've had more than my fair share of organs spontaneously rupturing. Oh, goodness.

My spleen decided it had enough. It ruptured. Last year, I had a brain aneurysm. I'm sure hoping these things don't come in threes. Have they had their tonsils out? You don't want them

to rupture. I'll be looking at the appendix next. I'll be telling it to absolutely watch itself. In the past three years I've written off three Volkswagen Polos. One every year. I don't think the Volkswagen Polo's for you or driving. No, maybe driving's not for you.

I've had kidney stones five times over the past few years. Oh, that sounds painful. I've broken both wrists, my hip, one leg, a collarbone and cracked my head open

all before I turned 13. That's statistically more bones than I should have broken in my entire life. That sounds like someone that should give up motocross or mountain biking. I wonder,

or just walking. My car was broken into three times in the space of two weeks. Every time it was exactly the same window. Literally, I got it replaced and it got smashed the very same day. Someone said our dairy got robbed three times in the last year, twice in one month. Now they have massive bars across their counter.

Wow. I chipped my front teeth on a trampoline and got them fixed. And then I smashed them out with a bungee cord almost straight away. Statistically, that shouldn't have happened. Wow. I chipped my front teeth on a trampoline and got them fixed and then I smashed them out with a bungee cord almost straight away. Statistically, that shouldn't have happened. No.

I've been to seven or eight funerals and I've been the pallbearer at five of them. Oh, wow. I'm 26 now. I haven't been to a funeral in three years. So it all happened before 23

that I'd carried that many. Oh, yeah. Been a pallbearer that many times. That seems like a lot of time. That's a lot, yeah. A lot of time. Someone said I've had chicken pox five times. What?

I don't think you're supposed to do those more than once. I thought it was a once in a lifetime, maybe twice in a stretch situation. Wow. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. This study is for women. Apologies to you two.

They haven't done one for men, I don't think. I'm tuning out. Doing four hours of exercise. No, Fletch, don't tune two. They haven't done one for me and I don't think. On tuning out. Doing four hours of exercise. No, Fletch, don't tune out. We might learn something. Okay. Doing four hours of exercise, women, a week, could boost women's sex lives and increases the chances of.

I reckon go for eight girls. Successful ending. Go for what? Eight hours. Go for eight hours exercise then. No, so here's the thing. I said four hours, right? So if you exercise at higher levels,

six hours or more a week, it has the opposite effect. Oh no, stop at six. Stop at six. This is an infomercial. But wait, there's more. If you do six or more, and they haven't quite explained why this happens,

but it could be to do with blood flow. So if you exercise between four and six hours a week, it's just the right amount to get blood pumping to all parts of the body and helps you with a successful ending of the day. Right, so it's not boosting your desire for it. It's boosting your functionality. That's a good way of...

Jeez, that makes it sound robotic. Please take me to the point of functionality. Yes, do that. More of this. No, too hard. Ouch, not there. Don't put it in there. But they did say that women who exercise over six hours

had less interest in... Well, that's why. Yeah, because you've got work all day. You need a gym and then you do exercise. Yeah, can't be bothered. You can't be bothered getting out of your clothes, you're staying in your sweaty workout gear and then he or she is like, how about it?

And you're like, no, I'm all smelly and sweaty. I'll just have a shower and then have a shower and they're like, no, I'm all smelly and sweaty. I'll just have a shower. And then have a shower and they're like, no, I'm clean. I don't want to have another shower. Yeah. So between four to six hours is the sweet spot, apparently. Okay. Of exercise. On today's podcast, the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under.

Condragulation, you're number one. I want to play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. I'm fangirling just a little bit. Joining us in studio is the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race, Down Under, Keita Ming. Good morning. Good morning. You are wearing the winning outfit too.

Oh, yeah. Your runway outfit. I thought I'd wear something subtle. Now, first question is you've got like a tiara on, but where is your scepter? So my crown and scepter, the scepter is at home. The crown is actually just out there. I bought it. Am I allowed

to wear it? Yeah, you want to put it on? That's what I figured. I feel like everyone should feel like a queen. Oh my god. I didn't know if that was like, I didn't want to sully your crown. Oh my god, it's got a carry box Oh, my God. I didn't know if that was like, I didn't want to sully your crown. Oh, my God. It's got a carry box. It has its own. Oh, my Lord. Wow.

Look at that. How crazy is this, right? I don't know. Oh, my God. It's got zips. That is really flash. I know. Oh, and it's like pink flocking on the inside.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my. Oh, my God. It's too big for your head. It's heavy. It's really heavy. Oh my god, I look so cute. That's honestly why drag queens usually have broad shoulders. Nothing to do with anything else.

Oh my god, I'm actually touching. Do you think RuPaul actually touched this? Yeah I'm confident she did So you didn't know Until the rest of us did Like they film alternative endings right? Yeah four of them So like I had to like look super depressed For like three out of four takes

But then When you win, it's like you're just faking it. You kind of like, it's weird. Well, yeah, you would think so actually. But, you know, when those words came out of RuPaul's mouth, like it's so overwhelming.

So like I just like felt it and believed it. So my reaction was 100% authentic. Yeah. When you filmed the different endings, where were you? Like were you the first ending filmed or the last ending filmed or in the middle? I was the third.

So they went down the line left to right and I was the third. And funny story. So I'm wearing the outfit that I was wearing. The scepter that we hold is, it's quite like rough. Like all the stones have like these metal casings and these are like fine mesh gloves. So when I held onto the scepter,

they just like velcroed on. And then I grabbed my other hand to try and pull this hand off and it ripped my gloves. And I was just doing this and my glove, look, this has my thumb. Like to this day, the scepter is covered in all this white little fabrics intertwining it. Because, like, they massacred my costume, yeah.

And so, did you celebrate over the weekend? I celebrated. That's, like, the understatement of the year. How did you watch it? Where were you? Well, it was really quite special. So, I was supposed to be in Sydney to watch it. And then with the situation that's kind of ongoing over there,

we thought maybe it was too risky. Okay. So last minute, I had something at my house. I had just a lot of my friends and family coming to watch it. Then we just, you know, had a little tipple. And then we caught a party bus into the city, went to Long Room in Ponsonby and just like, yeah, partied hard. It was so fabulous.

Like I just feel so much love from everybody and, yeah, it's hard to believe. That was crazy in the last week on social media. Every New Zealander that was watching the show was just, bugger this, Australians, let's get behind the Kiwi. It was like really good to see you, but trans-Tasman. Yeah, for sure. And do you know what's so funny? Even Australians were doing the same thing.

Yeah. They were like, ah, screw our ones. That's awesome. I was going to ask you if you'd, because Rue always says don't read the comments, but I was going to ask you if you read, because you had so much support on all the blogs and comments, even in Australia.

Did you read much of it? Yeah, like, you know, it's so hard to not. But, you know, it's funny because they say with good reason to not read the comments because there can be a million beautiful comments, but you see one gross

one and that's all you can focus on. That's human nature though, right? For sure. And that sort of stuff tends to stick with you. Yeah. Right, so don't read them. Don't read the comments, yeah. Have you had many DMs? Because I actually watched something with Gottmik and Cara Delevingne and she was talking about how she's watching Drag Race Down Under.

Have you had DMs from famous people? Yeah, I've had some really beautiful messages from a lot of the RuPaul's Drag Race alumni. And yeah, it's been overwhelming, the reach that this thing has had. I would never have thought in a million years that people would have even heard of my name, let alone would be celebrating it. So it's just mind-blowing. Who's your favourite from the show? Who's your favourite, like, from the show?

Who's your favourite alumni? Oh, gosh, I've got a really special connection with Ginger Minj. Oh, yeah. Me too. Such a sweetheart. That's her husband's favourite, Ginger Minj. Your husband's favourite is Ginger Minj. Right.

Good to know. I don't think we've ever said that phrase on the show. Three times in 30 seconds. Cool. And what about now for like Kalootsie and did you also see that we didn't get a Miss Congeniality but a lot of people were

crowning Anita Wiglet as Miss Congeniality. Which is so fabulous. They tend to not do it on, because it's sort of like the UK format that we do, where they don't crown a Miss Congeniality. But for sure, I mean, like, I love that. Wiggles is so loved around the world and everyone was like gone too soon.

And I totally agree with that. So yeah, oh my gosh. So technically, if Anita's Miss Congeniality, Elektra was the lip sync assassin, and then I am the winner. That's a pretty good record for Team Kiwi. Three out of three. That's nuts.

So what now? Like, I mean, obviously not all stars because you're the winner. So are you going to travel overseas, which I guess is kind of a bit hard at the moment. Yeah, for sure. Well, you know, I'm just going to take it all as it comes and give it my all and everything that does come along. I've been working on some cool stuff.

I've worked on a song, recorded a song, recorded the music video, and that's going to drop later this evening. And, yeah, which is a self-titled Ketamine. Come and take a ride on Ketamine. Because you've got a good voice. You're immortalised now forever in I'm a Winner Baby. Yeah. Was it Michelle or Ru said you had such a great voice?

Which is crazy. I mean, they must have been high or something. I have that effect on people apparently. One of the interviews you got today, you said before you go to Breakfast TV, is that right? Yes, yep. I'm going to go to Breakfast TV. I am really looking forward to seeing John Campbell's reaction to your outfit.

Full rubber boots. He will love it. I actually did a little squeal when you won. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. Thank you. And thanks so much for taking the time to come in and see us. Oh, thank you for having me.

This is just like, honestly, my dream come true, and I'm overwhelmed. Okay, now I'll give that back, Megan. Not before I get a photo. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. I am the box.

But the box and studio, all thanks to Marvel Studios' Black Widow, which is in cinemas July 8th and streaming on Disney+, with premiere access July 9th. Conditions apply. We got another clue on Friday. This clue will make you think. But a lot of the letters have been replaced with numbers. You can go to the clues page at ZM Online. All the guesses that we've had that have been wrong are there.

We know there's a seven in there. And we know that it also spells a four-letter word. Bree, good morning. Hello. Hi. Now, $ morning. Hello. Hi. Now, $20,000, what would you do with that? Probably just pay off a bit of debt and then maybe have a little splurge on a holiday. Yes.

Sensible and splurgy. Sensible and fun. Sensible and fun. I like it. Okay. So, Vaughan, you're next to the box. I am. We need from you, Bree, a

four-digit pen that also spells a four-letter word. Yep, I was hoping to try fans. F-A-N-S. Fans. What's the reason behind that, Bree? Well, I actually missed the last clue, but everything

else was just going with, you know, leading up to it opening and coming soon, maybe some fans coming for the movie. Okay. All right. This is, of course, the Marvel Studios Black Widow movie that you refer to. Fans.

Here we go. Three, two, six, seven. Yes. Three, two, six, seven. Now I leave a dramatic pause to see how long I can wait before I press the tick. Here we go. Ah!

No! Thank you, Eddie. Good luck. Unfortunately not. No $20,000, but we do have for you a double pass to Marvel Studios' Black Widow. Every incorrect guess gets a double pass. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

We're joined in studio by Sarah from The Office. Ooh, that felt weird calling you Sarah. Yeah. Didn't it? Felt very formal. What do you want to be? Akozi. Akozi.

Sikozi. Yeah. The name that she goes by. And you had a Bluetooth speaker incident because you, what have you, crowned yourself? Nah. Stereo god. I think it's just because we've got so

many speakers around that there's nothing by my desk that I can hear, so I just wanted to put iHeartRadio on. Ah yes, and of course to listen to ZM while you work in the ZM office. Yeah, right, okay. Stay to the pulse of what's going on.

Yeah, right. Right. So it was when you were connected to that Bluetooth speaker by your desk that was quite loud that you facilitated a bathroom excursion. Yeah. Should we say. Not something I normally do. Right.

But a friend of the show, Lucy, Lucy Warner, phoned me while I was on the toilet and I wouldn't answer the phone on the toilet, any other person, but I did. Was there no one else in the toilet? Nah, and there's also music in our toilets, which is quite nice. I feel like it's a hospitable environment for a chat.

And I couldn't quite work out why I couldn't hear her. And I was saying to her, I was like, I'm on the toilet. And I was like, I told her I was sitting on the toilet. And I just thought. Because she loves a bit of toilet chat. She does. That's exactly why I answered the phone. I'd say toilet chat took a big dip after she left work.

Yeah. And it's spiking back up now. Well, it's spiking back up now because of the conversation that the entire office heard from. So I was still unaware unaware came out of the toilet finished the phone call walked back in and everyone in the office turned to the doors as i walked in looking at me really weirdly and i was like and it clicked and i could hear the music on the speaker and i would have realized that the music would have stopped and lucy being like oh what are you

doing on the toilet and apparently she was saying some pretty un-PG things on the speaker. Right, some colourful language about what had led you to facilitate a bathroom excursion. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I love when this happens. Yeah, it was very cringe. Wasn't there a story last week about a British woman who'd moved into a new apartment in London and for the last two months she's been wondering why she can't

hear the adult videos that she's been watching. No! Because her phone when she moved in and she was trying to connect to Bluetooth connected to the neighbours so whenever they turned on their stereo or their whatever this Bluetooth device was,

it would automatically connect to her phone. So a lot of the time she could be on her phone and hear everything and it wasn't until they got home from work and turned it on that then could drag her Bluetooth in. If they were watching other things, it didn't affect it. But if they had it on the auxiliary that was her Bluetooth. Oh, you would just die. She'd been watching it with just pictures, no audio, and they'd been having the audio segment of the adult videos.

This is the dangers of Bluetooth. Yeah. And screen sharing. Some people have an automatic screen share on their laptop onto a television, and then if they go into a different room, it could still be connected to the television. Well, this is what we wanted to ask you this morning. On 0800-DARLS-NM-9696, what happened when you were connected to the television? Well, this is what we wanted to ask you this morning. On 0800-DARLS-NM-9696,

what happened when you were connected to the Bluetooth? Maybe you took a call, a friend sent you a video, or you went to your room while you were still connected to the Bluetooth in the lounge? You were connected to the Bluetooth at a party and you got a notification and it alerted people to what dating apps you were

using because they've got different sounds. I remember having a party once and someone got a notification and I was like, what's that noise? And someone else was giggling and I was like, what are you talking about? And they were like, that's a grinder notification. And I was like, yeah. Alright, well, we want to take your calls. Has this happened to you? Or maybe

you've been somewhere where it's happened. Something has accidentally played on the Bluetooth on the portable speaker that it shouldn't have. 0800-DARLES-AT-M 9696. Give us a call. And you'll be disconnecting from the work Bluetooth speaker. Corsi? Yeah, Lucy just texted me.

I'm in trouble. We want to know if you've had a whoopsie with the Bluetooth. Yeah. What's accidentally played over the Bluetooth portable speaker when it shouldn't have? Here at the office, Sir Corsi's bowel movements were... Her toilet phone call? Yeah.

Never answer the... Never answer the phone on the toilet. She said that was the only person she'd answer for. Right, but you can always hear it, eh, when you ring someone and they answer and they're in the bathroom. It's echoey. Echoey, yeah. Yeah, hard falls, a lot of reverberation.

Some text messages in. I just put my toddler to bed when the neighbour's phone connected to the speakers downstairs in the toddler's room and started blasting drum and bass. They couldn't hear it from their house, so they kept turning it up and up and up and up. I ran downstairs, ripped the speaker out of the wall and threw it across the room. Because it's got to connect to that speaker when it's discoverable,

right? Or can you just connect to any Bluetooth speaker? They're all a bit different, but I know ones, there are the ones where you've got to hold down the discoverable button and then you can connect to that Bluetooth. But there are other times where you can just connect. Chris then you can connect to that Bluetooth. Huh. But there are other times where you can just connect. Chris, when did you have a Bluetooth whoopsie? So I was on holiday at a lake. Yeah. And my teenage boy and his mate were in a tent.

And some friends turned up for some drinks. And I thought, oh, I'll put some music on. So I turned on the speaker only to hear some adult content coming through. I mean, as soon as you said teenage boy, we were all like, here we go.

Yeah, it was like, I was like, they both blamed each other. They were like, what do you mean? But everyone at the dinner party has been a teenager at some stage. Maybe before there was video content, but, you know, these are the things that we do in life. We live and we learn.

Totally. Chris, thanks for your call. Some text messages. Somebody said, I work for a travel company in Europe and one time on a sail Croatia trip, my friend had been playing music through her phone on the Bluetooth speakers on the top of the boat

when everyone was partying and then she went for a nap and decided to watch some adult video. The sound of Oh my god! The sound of passion rung across the sea that day and everyone on the top deck of the boat that was sunbathing heard every little piece of audio.

And you'd be below deck like, why can't I hear this? Why can't I hear this? There's no excuse either. Like, what are you going to say? I know. I'd just grab my bag and just jump off the ship into the water. I'd just be like, this is it. This is how I end.

Oh, my God. Just ride the wave. Just go up there and be like, boy, oh, boy. how I end. Oh, my God. Well, just ride the wave. Just go up there and be like, boy, oh, boy. That isn't good. I tell you what, while you're on the scene, there's a bit of rock and really put the motion in the ocean. Oh, you'd want to die. I was a teacher five years ago.

I had my phone connected to the Bluetooth speakers in class and played a video that a mate had sent me when everyone was doing silent work, what I believed to be a lion attacking a hippo, but it was one of those ones where you're watching a video and then the sexual noise is coming. How do you get out of that? The look on these poor kids' faces has never left my memory. So they said five years ago when they were a teacher.

So that might have been the end of it. You'd have to show the class a video, right? But then is that even worse? Yeah, because they'll be like, we saw a lion attacking a hippo today and this is the sound it made. How's this one? I don't know, this is...

What was that one? Oh, no, take the call first because I think this text is a spicy little ender. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. What happened on the Bluetooth? So a colleague of mine, we work as GPs, and a colleague was doing a virtual consult during COVID at home.

Yeah. And unfortunately, his phone connected to his wife's Bluetooth as she was reversing out of the garage. So his poor wife got to hear all the bowel issues that the patient was telling her about. That's the thing, because as soon as you get in the car, it automatically turns it on and automatically connects to your phone. Oh, no.

And so she's like, hearing all about it. Anonymous, thanks for your call. How's this for a text message? My boyfriend rung when I had the Bluetooth on and my wife heard the conversation

in the kitchen. So someone's got a, a man has a boyfriend on the side and he's left the room to take this phone call but the conversation is still connected

to the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen and the wife hears it. And that's all we have. No, I need more. That's all we have. Wait, you can't finish like that. That's all we have. No, we need some follow-up. Follow-up. Check this will happen. Was she none the wiser?

I don't know. She was like, oh, that's weird. They must just be joking around. I've always said Mike and Dave's friendship was close, but he'd do what? You must text it. I need to know what happened. Yeah, well, I don't know.

That's unbelievable. We need you to finish the rest of that story, please, Paul. I think he broke up with the wife. The wife dumped him, and now he's with the boyfriend. Happy ever after. I think he came up with an excuse that she believed. Yeah. I think he probably walked back out, and he's like the boyfriend. Happy Ever After. I think he came up with an excuse that she believed. Yeah. I think he probably walked back out and he's like, that was porn.

I was just watching porn. Yeah, all right. Flesh, Fawn and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. Fact of the day, day a dead man who won a horse race. It was his first win and surprisingly his last. Oh, okay.

He died on the horse. That is correct. Oh, my God. Like a heart attack. That is correct. And, my God. Wow, like a heart attack. That is correct. And then just kept going, flopping around. Did he hold on or did he fall off? No, he stayed on.

And the weird part was it wasn't just a horse race. It was a steeplechase. So one of those where they jump the hedges and land in the pond. How quick does rigor mortis sit in? Well, not that quickly. So he was a horse trainer, long-time stabler. He was 35 years old. Okay. That was his name. Frank Hayes was his name. Sorry, that's how old he was a horse trainer, long time stable dude, 35 years old was his name. Frank Hayes was his name, sorry.

That's how old he was, 35. Frank Hayes was his name. He'd never won a race before and certainly didn't look like he was ever going to. He wasn't like a fantastic jockey or anything. Okay. And the day that he passed, but won, he was riding a horse that was at 20 to 1 odds. Yep. That's bad.

Big outside chance. Yeah. Outside chance. Put $1 on, you're going to get $20 if it wins. Did it have a cool name? Yes, it did. Sweet Kiss. Oh, see, I always, if I've gone to the races, do the cool names.

The Sweet Kiss of Death. That's what it was renamed after the horse race. Oh, my God. It was renamed Sweet Kiss of Death after the horse race. Wow. Wow. Good foresight there. Yeah.

So he was just riding it because, you know, he wasn't a great jockey. So the people with other horses weren't, you know, taking a huge shot on him. Yeah. But it was during that race he suffered a heart attack and died instantly. He didn't fall off. They predicted he died about halfway through the race. Oh, yeah. And he got carried across.

No one even knew what was going on. The horse kind of crossed the line and then stopped. And then they went out to congratulate him and he was dead. And then this is a 1923, so there wasn't like high def. TV and stuff. Replay footage to see exactly when he died. But someone was taking photos of the race, predicted it was around about halfway through that he passed.

And he just stayed on. I guess if you were gripping the reins. but someone who was taking photos of the race predicted it was around about half, halfway through that he passed. What? And he just stayed on. Mm. I guess if you were gripping the reins. Yeah, maybe you gripped even harder if you were having a heart attack or something. So apparently he lost a bit of weight quite quickly because he wanted to be about 130 pounds. He had to be that to qualify the race

and that was the best race weight for the steeplechase. So he dropped a bit of weight quite quickly and people think that might have put the strain on his heart. Oh, right. And then, yeah, he had a heart attack and they confirmed that was his... And he finally won and he wasn't there to see it. His first and his last victory. Oh, poor guy. Frankie. So today's fact of the day

is a dead man once won a horse race. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. All right, listen up, because I'm bloody disappointed. Okay. Statistics show that last year there was a massive increase in the amount of alcohol-fuelled episodes that St John's ambulance staff had to show up to. Which is amazing, because how much of that would have been

taken out with lockdown? But I wonder if it was in lockdown people were stuck at home, didn't have to go to booze, didn't have to go to work, so maybe the booze-fueled stuff leaked into the weekdays. Yeah, maybe. 16,000 alcohol-related incidences in 2019. In 2020, it was up 37% to 22,000 alcohol-related incidents. Wow.

So this could be like you drink too much and you fall down the stairs or you trip over and smash your head in the wall or something. Yep. Someone gets hurt, so the ambulance shows up, and then they're met with your typical booze person. Yeah. Who's like, you know the same person that's like, just leave me here, I'm fine, just leave me here.

But then they're aggravated and they, you know, inebriated. And they're being very, very silly. So then if you look at problem drinking in 2020, another situation is that the 51% increase in the number of intoxicated, poisoned, or injured patients that ambulance staff took to the emergency room in Counties Monaco. So that jumped phenomenally as well, up 51% increase from the year before. And around the country, it was kind of like across the board, an alarming trend.

So you would say last year we really turned to the booths to deal with this global pandemic? That doesn't surprise me because I know a lot of people did. Yeah. Sought comfort in alcohol but not knowing when enough was enough. Yeah. And it sees. But you only have to watch one of those shows that comes out. You know, like Police 107 but the ambulance version. What was that called?

First Response. Yeah. It was one of those. And like 80% of the show was. Drunk people. Drunk people. Yeah. And the other 20% was car accidents. Yeah. They deal with of those. And like 80% of the show was drunk people. Drunk people. Yeah. And the other 20% was car accidents.

Yeah. They deal with it all, eh? Yeah. Cats off to paramedics. Yeah. Absolutely. So, I mean, what am I going to say that's going to change anything? Don't.

Stop being naughty. You'll go to your room. Yeah. We'll make you drink that alcohol-free beer if you don't behave yourself. It's a hell of a threat So yeah that's worrying Yeah Before the show Carlin from the social media desk said

The best dad joke has been crowned for the year And we said Well don't tell us Schedule it in So the pressure's been building. We did question whether or not we should just go on air without hearing this joke. So producer Jared said, well, I'll have a look. And he chuckled.

He really chuckled. He really chuckled. What would you give it on the chuckle meter? I think at least a seven. Yeah, I was going to say seven. It tickled me. Ten being a full-blown snort laugh. So if this is a dud, it's more on you, Jared,

than Carwin at the social media desk. Yeah, but I really like dad jokes. Yeah, and Carwin backed it. Carwin backed it. Didn't write it, but backed it. Now she's not sure of herself. Who's claiming this? Because it's like the Edinburgh Festival always is the best,

like, one-liner, right? They do the 10 best one-liners and then a whole lot of people vote on it and one's always crowned the best one-liner of the Edinburgh Fringe. So it seems to be an online thing. Okay. And then a comedian called Mark Watson, never heard of him, chose himself as the judge. Okay.

Right. All right, well, tell us the best dad joke winner. The winner of the best dad joke. I'm nervous. Okay. Okay. Okay. I was once hired... You said that, tell that baby to shit her own hair.

Oh, shush, buddy. Okay. He doesn't like it. He's had a quick squiz over your shoulder. He's like, no. This is rubbish. Not for me, I'm going to shit myself. I once hired a limo, but when it arrived, the guy driving walked off.

I said, excuse me, are you not going to drive me? The guy told me that the price didn't include a driver. So I'd spent 400 pounds on a limo and have nothing to show. Oh, that is good. Oh, show for it. Oh, right. You didn't deliver it right. Dad jokes famously, dads are going to punch them out

and then they fold their arms and wait for everyone to enjoy the joke. Because I just got it. Yeah, right. Did you not get it before? Like, I got the gist, but it didn't make me laugh the first time. Yeah. I've got nothing to show for it. I don't know, I really like it.

I thought the delivery could have been a bit better. There was too much pressure. Yeah, okay. It was alright then, wasn't it? Yeah, good. Jeez. It feels like that was very built up. No, it was good.

Do it again. Okay. I once hired a limo, but when it arrived, the guy driving Walked off I said Excuse me Are you not going to drive me

The guy By the way Can I just stop you here Is this your like Year 7 speech Yeah The way you're reading it Is like

My speech is on Speeches Speeches So I got excellences In all my speeches Did you And won a lot of competitions

Did you Did you win competitions I did What did you do Your speeches on? Did you? Did you win competitions? I did. What did you do your speeches on? What was some of your best? I don't know. Guys, we're mid-joke.

Yeah. You're supposed to mid-joke. It's a long joke. Okay. I didn't choose this as the winner. Say it now without looking at it. No. I haven't memorised it. You've got to memorise your speech.

You're never going to win year eight speech comp if you can't, like, pick up. It would be weird if a 22 year old won year 8 speech competition. It'll show them. It'll show them. They should let adults enter. They should let the parents enter the kids speech competition and just blow them out of the water and be like

you're never going to get anywhere in the real world unless you're willing to go up against everybody. That's probably why I'm not a teacher. So we're not going to hear it again. Okay. You're hiding, am I? I said, excuse me. Are you not going to drive me?

The guy told me that the price didn't include a driver. So I spent 400 pounds and have nothing to show for it. Oh my God, you're ruining. You're ruining the delivery. I think it's funny if I laugh at my own jokes. That's actually for a dad move. It's for a dad move to let everyone know now's the time to laugh. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, the blues here. ZM.