ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan’s Podcast - 22nd June 2021

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

Love Island  Top 6: National MPs  Canons new employee policy  The Verdict  Vaughans Lasering  Shallow Dive: Plastic Surgery  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  What was the Biggest Lie your Parents told you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleach, Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by 5 McCafe Coffees. Get one free on the Maccas app. Conditions apply. A regular podcast listener, you may remember the other day after calling the wrong Matt, I actually got, we called Matty McLean regarding a new weather icon.

Yeah. And the weather was supposed to be so bad at the field days over the weekend in Hamilton. Did you end up going? No. Because everyone said how bad the weather was going to be and then at the field days over the weekend in Hamilton. Did you end up going? No, because everyone said how bad the weather was going to be, and then people were sending me photos saying, oh, it kind of drizzled in the morning, then it was a beautiful afternoon.

I was like, oh, for fuck's sake. So I said I saw a new weather icon presented by Dan the Weatherman, and we rang Matty to find out what it is. Well, he's been doing his research because he got back to me and he said, could this possibly be it? This weather icon is, I believe, what I may have seen from distance. See, look at this. So here's the sun behind the cloud.

See how it looks like a black sun? Black all the time. But it's a blacker cloud behind an already dark cloud to indicate it's going to be real rainy. Right. Standard rain just calls for one cloud. Heavy rain calls for black cloud rain. And then apparently really devilishly heavy rain calls for black cloud, blacker cloud.

Okay. And rain. And lots of rain lines. Yeah, right. I said, yeah, that'll be it, Matty. I said, but see, it's sitting exactly where the sun usually sits when it's peeking around. And it's a perfectly round black cloud. It looks like it needs another kind of puff on the side of it.

It needs another circle, fluff, length out the side there. And I said, that'll be it. And he said, okay, that's just the heavy rain symbol. It's cloud on cloud. I said, that is not right No please rectify this And he said I'm pretty sure it's always been there Oh I've never seen it before

No it hasn't He should know TVNZ is scaring people into thinking I imagine the old people think that's the apocalypse Yeah Black hole sun Won't you come Oh what a great song that is.

Black Hole Sun. Won't you come? And something the world away. Black Hole Sun. Won't you come? I got it. I think we're done. I got it.

I got it. Oh, no. I thought we were done. I got it. No, no. I thought we were done. You it No no I thought we were done You have to skip through the chorus Yeah there's a fair bit of this

In the later Keep going Keep going No here it is Here it is No He tricked us He tricked us

They pissed around with songs Back in the day Didn't they Tricky old fella Black hole sun Won't you come And wash away the rain Washing away the rain How ironic

Yeah Won't you come That's right he died Chris Cornell Yeah He did Tragically he did That was a downer end, wasn't it?

Dampner on that. Yeah. I mean, we should have seen it coming. There's a lot of very depressing song titles and lyrics. He battled with it for a while, but hell of a musician. Great voice. Anyway, on with the podcast. I can't believe you didn't get to the field days.

I know, yeah. I missed out on all the field day specials. I know, yeah. God. Miss on all the field day specials. I know, yeah. God. Missed out on all the free pens. And one of those orange wacky sticks. Yeah. You know the orange walkie wacky sticks that shepherds have?

Gallagher's always have them. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleets, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. Coming up on the show, the top six. Winston Peters re-emerged yesterday from his cave. After hibernating for a little while, a gut full of salmon,

he retreated into his cave and hibernated. He's just a big bear. He's a big bear. He's a big his cave and hibernated. He's out, baby. He's a big bear. He's a big Northland bear, isn't he? Well, he's out. And he called the National Party a bunch of sex maniacs. So they've got the top six ways to spot a National Party sex maniac. Yes.

The box is coming up at seven. It's your chance to win $20,000 cash. All thanks to Marvel Studios' Black Widow. We need a four-digit pin. Are the guesses that we've had the clues so far? ZM Online, you can find all of those. But we start the show this morning with a huge,

huge announcement. Huge! And a chance for you to win. For long years since she was last on stage in NZ, with 42 global awards under her belt. And a bajillion streams. Lorde. Is back.

Hey, this is Lorde. Well, we had a new song. And now we have a new tour. Oh, and doing wonders for Meridian Energy's solar panels. Really, Mr. Tricknot's sponsoring this solar power tour with someone like Meridian Energy or one of the power companies. Who else is chonking out solar panels for your roof? Everybody, right? Everybody.

Every power company worth their salt. Well, she has announced that she is touring New Zealand in 2022. That's weird to say, 2022. That's only six months away. Six months away. Oh, my God. That's crazy, right? Not even.

So, starting off, she's going to Nelson, Upper Mootidee, Newdorf Vineyards. Sunday, February 27. Tuesday, March 1st, Wellington Days Bay. March 2nd, Havelock North, Black Barn Vineyards. March 4th, New Plymouth, Bowl of Brooklands. Oh! Yeah. Oh! That venue is the best venue in New Zealand for a live music concert.

Never, never seen one. Because it's got this stage and in front of it's a lake. And don't people go swimming in the lake? No, it's not encouraged. But it's like a natural amphitheatre. That's a surefire way to get yourself G out of here.

Elton John's played there. Big bands. Yeah. Big names. And then March 5th at Auckland Outerfields. At Western Springs. Now, also on this picture, I'm seeing Christchurch on the 26th of Feb. That's at a Vaughan Smith exclusive gig. Vaughan Smith Presents Electric Avenue. Yeah, that should be at Electric Avenue.

It's my first sponsorship of a festival. A full-named sponsorship of a festival. Did that cost you a lot of money? My God, so much, man. You know, it's Electric Avenue. I bought it thinking I'd be able to sell this onto Meridian. Because of the solar power, Electric Avenue. You can see how I thought this was going to end.

They just told me to F off. Right, okay. Well, the Spark pre-sale for 48 hours will be on the 28th of June. Spark, there's another electrical. This money. This Monday. Frontier Touring, the 24-hour pre-sale will be June the 30th, and then tickets on sale, the rest of them,

on Monday, July 5. All of those details will be at ZM Online right now at ZM Online on Instagram and Facebook. Comment to win a double pass to see Lord or you can be called a 10 right now to win the very first pass to see Lord live in 2022.

We should play a Lord song. Yeah, that would make sense. I reckon we should play the song and then we go into it. Or the full Lord's Prayer. What a great way to start the morning. We should start the morning. We have to do. Our Father who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name. No. Back in income day, we'll be done. We segregate. We're separate state and church. We separate state and church. Yeah, on the show we do. Are we state broadcaster?

Absolutely. We're a private entity. We've got the full rights to embrace. I've got a Lord song. Shush. Well, I was just, What I was doing was padding. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Red Solo Cups, known as the cups in any teenage drama movie

where they're like... American Party. Tailgating. American Party. Where they put the tail down and party in the car park. Playing beer pong. Before the football match. You can get them in New Zealand now, eh?

Yeah, beer pong cups. Yeah. Like, there's Red Solo's brand. Yeah. There's heaps of, like, Countdown have their own, like, rip-off ones. Yeah. That are cheap. I don't know if they have the exact lines that I'm talking about,

but the Red Solo cups do. These are markings, indentations, not, like, lines on the cups. On the cups, yeah. So if you've ever seen them, there's, not like lines on the cups. So if you've ever seen them, there's a little line right at the bottom, there's one a little bit further up and there's one towards the top. Those lines actually mean something. When they were invented, they had different measurements so that you can, depending on what you're drinking, pour out the right amount. So what's the first line?

So the very first one right down the bottom is one ounce. That's for a shot. Is that how much a shot is? One ounce? Is that a single? That's a small shot. Or is it a single shot? You think of a 40-ounce bottle as a 1.125,

and that's 40 shots out of a 1.125, right? So that's not a big shot. That's a light pour. That's like when you go to a bar and you ask for like a rum and coke or a whiskey, whatever, and they pour it into that little thing and you're like, oh, come on, just free. Give me a good couple of glug, glug, glug. A single shot is also called a nip or sometimes called a nip,

a 30 mils. Boo. Is that one ounce? Bloody, why don't they just go with that? Boo! One fluid ounce would be 30 mils, right? One fluid mil is 30 mil. One fluid ounce is 30 mil.

Yeah, right. So that first line is one ounce, one shot, 30 mils. Okay. Not enough, but. Then the next one is not, it's like a quarter of the way up the cup. There's another indentation. That's for if you're drinking wine. Five ounces.

Wayne. A Wayne, because you don't want to. Is that an RSA pour? No. No, no, no. A glass at a nice restaurant pour. No, that's a glass at a nice restaurant pour. Boom.

But if you've ever had one of those cups and someone fills it to the top, you're like. Oh yeah, that's a lot of wine in a party cup. Yeah, so that's five. Who even knew these lines meant that? No one. So that's about 125 mils, which is like, yeah. Pretty sure I've seen someone fill vodka to that line. Yeah.

With a bit of ice, you would. Because ice takes up so much. There's so much taken up by ice. There was no ice. Then the next line is towards the top. And that is for beer.

Okay. 12 ounces. It's a 12 ounce. What do you call those glasses? Like a pint glass. Yeah. Is it a pint? Right.

Or is that bigger? A pint's bigger, eh? Like a schooner. Or a 12 ounce. Yeah, is it a pint? Right, okay. Or is that bigger? A pint's bigger, eh? Like a schooner. Or a 12 ounce. That's like, yeah, it's like a bottle. It's not got a pot because a pint's got to be

close to half a litre. Yeah, 304. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's like a bottle. Wow. That's shy of a pint. No idea those lines actually meant anything.

I just thought they were for grip when you were holding them. Yeah, because I, yeah, I've definitely had wine out of there and you're like, where is this? How much am I drinking? If you fill it to that beer line,

it's like 340 mils of wine. That's like half a bottle. And then it just saves you refilling it. Yeah, because you're still going to drink your... Maybe it gets warm. Drop some ice cubes in there. I mean, if you're drinking it already out of the red Solo cup, you're not too worried about being classy, right?

Problem solve everything around here? It's like adding twice as much spirits as you should. It just means you're drinking less mixer. Right. You know, if you're adding like a fizzy drink, now you're actually living better because you're taking in less fizzy. Right. Solving problems.

Vaughan Smith. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Love Island is coming back for its seventh series. Seventh. Yeah. A year off due to COVID,

but they're going back to the male cavilla. And this was posted on the Love Island, official Love Island account. It reads, you've got a text. Tomorrow we'll be revealing the cast for Love Island 2021. These islanders are all single and ready to find love. We can't wait to watch them get to know each other, date and maybe even find the one.

We're so grateful they're letting us follow their journey this summer. We hope you enjoy the show, but please think before you post. So they have rolled out a duty of care protocol Okay Like a few protocols to look after Look after the contestants After previous seasons Contestants have been ridiculed and bullied And trolled online Yeah

By people during and after the show I don't think anything could prepare you For that kind of barrage online No I don't think anything could prepare you for that kind of barrage online. No. So they have training on the impacts of social media and comprehensive psychological support for these people now. But yeah, I just don't know if that's going to be enough. It's not going to stop people commenting, is it?

No. I just don't, people don't know what they're getting themselves in for. No. Even with like, even, you know, like they're saying they're going to have support and stuff and even past contestants saying how, you know, it's pretty full on.

I still don't think these contestants realise what they're in for. Yeah. There should be a squad, an internet squad, and if you say something like above a certain level of harassment, they come round to your house and they tranquilise you. Like SWAT, they just bust down your door. Or they just do it like they wait till you leave the house

and then they just blow dart you and you're like, and then you wake up on Love Island. And then everyone gets to say to you what you were saying to people. Yeah, but then that's a vicious cycle, isn't it? No, because then just more people end up on the island. But it's good though because they've got mental health professionals that are going as soon as they're announced, the cast, their mental health professionals are there for them pre-filming

throughout the show as well. Why would you want to be on Love Island? I know. But that, yeah, on one hand, you can't exploit people on a reality show and then say, we care about them. Like, the only reason they do these shows, you know, is to get TV ratings, basically, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. You're not wrong. And then, oh, but we care about them. You don't. You don't. This is them saying, we're trying I know, it's crazy I love Love Island But I would never go online and absolutely

Rip into the contestants You just talk about them with your mates I've never understood why people go online And just absolutely have that Or go online and comment about anything full stop Well, that too ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. From the fart-addled ZM think tank, this is the Top Six.

Well, he's back, baby. Winston Peters, who we thought maybe had retired from politics, is back. And he has labelled the National Party sex maniacs. And he said he made the right choice forming a government with Labour in 2017. So he went to the New Zealand First Annual General Meeting and he had a chat and he said, look at the sex maniacs in the mess they're in now and tell me what option did I have?

You see the person with the giant Winston Peters sign, which... He kept smashing into people's faces. It was comedic gold. Ow! Smashing everybody in the face because it was so big and he couldn't lift it above them. Because he's too old. He's just smashing everybody in the face.

Yeah. So he didn't really elaborate why they were sex maniacs. Well, there's been a couple of high-profile scandals and they've had to resign. But he didn't go into it and specifically name people or talk about any sexcapades he'd been on with the National Party for a while. Oh, yeah, right. So I've got the top six ways to spot a National Party sex maniac. Okay. Number six. Those big glasses that were in fashion in the 1980s

and Justin Bieber wore them like three years ago. If you're a white middle-aged man, and it's the National Party, so there's a high chance you are, and you're wearing those, you're a sex maniac. Yeah. You're an absolute beast in the sack.

You like those getting all fogged up and having to take them off and rub them on your shirt. That is not what I thought you were going to say. Number five on the list of the top six ways to spot a national party sex maniac. They're not lobbying for big oil or big cigarettes or big

business. They're lobbying for those big tubs of Vaseline. The real big ones. Vass. The big, huge vas. Big vas money. Big petroleum jelly. You'd need a shower after that. Big, big tubes.

Like a two-litre tub of ice cream. But maybe, maybe. Maybe it's Vaseline. Number four on the list of the top six ways to spot a National Party sex maniac. You can see the nipple clamps through their suit jacket. Okay. Do they leave them on during Harley Mint? Do they?

Okay. They get bored. Yeah, right. It's got to spice it up. Yeah, yeah. They'll put on the nip clamps and leave those on for a long parliamentary session. Imagine if you could see that. They sit up.

Mr. Speaker. Is that guy wearing nipple clamps? Could you kink shame me? You don't kink shame. I'm not kink shaming them. Shit, you do what you gotta do to get through Parliament. It looks boring as shit. Do it.

Number three on the list of the top six ways to spot a National Party sex maniac are when someone mentions getting jalapeno poppers for a late night parliamentary snack. Their ears prick up when they say poppers, but not jalapenos. Yeah. Wink wink. Nudge say poppers but not jalapenos. Yeah. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. Number two on the list of the top six ways

to spot a National Party sex maniac. They kept their horse riding gear from their time as a rich well-off kid of privilege but they haven't had a horse for decades

but the leather is supple and has all the hallmarks of being recently used. Sex maniac. And number one on the list of the top six ways to spot a national party sex maniac are all their dildos are blue. Two ticks blue? More like two blue

dicks. Let's go! I always know when you're going to do something cheeky because you start like, and number one, you have this little look about you and I know it's coming. What did you just say? You're a sex maniac.

Now, my fridge is an absolute haven for this. Wasted food. Food that's purchased and then not used for its purchased purpose, which is putting in your mouth hole to power the engine of the human body. Soggy celery or vegetables that just melt. Cucumber. I don't feel bad about it. Well, I do. I don't feel too bad about that now because we can feed it to the chickens

and the chickens will give us eggs. Oh, yeah, that's true. Chickens eat celery. Chickens eat anything. Dead bodies. I reckon a chicken could pick a part of a body. Okay. Actually.

100%. Okay. A rat. We caught a rat in the trap and I just chucked it in the paddock. The chickens had a field. No. They ate the eyes. They ate the eyes.

That's going into your eggs. I'm not accepting your eggs for the next two months until that rats out of their system. And then they like chucked it like in a part of the paddock and then the flies got at it and then they ate the maggots out of it and they were just like having very resourceful chickens. This is not a story to tell people. Why not?

That's a grim story. This is a good story about waste not want not in this world of so much wastage. Because the average household in New Zealand apparently is chucking away $1,259 of food a year. Jeez. Wow, okay. Which is... I mean, what do you think about going to the supermarket and spending that much on food?

It's a lot. I don't reckon we would chuck out that much. I don't reckon. Because I grew up and mum and dad have everything in the fridge and you eat everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leftovers, even if it's five days, heat it, heat it in the microwave. $24 a week.

That roughly comes to. Just chucked out. Wow. Yeah. So that includes everything. I would have thought it would have been more. Like, you think about if you've got takeaways and there's a little bit left over, you just say, oh, just chuck it out.

Chuck her in the bin. Or you get meat and then you end up... Or you chuck it in the fridge or food and then you're like, oh, we'll just have takeaways. What about when you've got like a... Yeah, you'd know. Mind you, you'd probably strip a hot chicken. Do you make a broth out of the leftover cutlets?

Nah. Whatever. Penny pinch. You should. You should. strip hot chicken do you make a broth out of the left over nah whatever you should you should i yeah but i'll just buy chicken stock if i'm making soup do you keep them refrigerated until rubbish day no just chuck it out oh we do that well no our rubbish goes every day all right in the apartment building bougie okay sorry i don't know some people were just living yes so loosely see how one percenters live just throwing their rubbish out every day. Your daily rubbish collection in an apartment building. It's outrageous.

But if it's like Monday and we've got a hot chicken and we strip it out, then we keep it in the fridge until Friday's rubbish day. That is such a nana thing to do. No, but it stinks. If you put it in the bin, it stinks and that attracts flies. You've got to keep it in the fridge. Oh, yuck. Chuck it in the bin. Who cares if it smells? No, but it stinks. If you put it in the bin, it stinks and that attracts flies. You've got to keep it in the fridge. Oh, yuck. Chuck it in the bin.

Who cares if it smells? No, yuck. Oh, yeah, but I'm always the one who has to wash the bin. Your bin hole would be stanky. It would be stanky. Flies everywhere. And the lint. The lint sticks to all the garbage.

But, yeah, this was a study conducted in April here in New Zealand about food wastage That's quite bad, isn't it? Yeah Yeah Yeah But like, yeah, not much goes to waste in our house Because it'll feed the piggies too, the piggies eat

You've got to be careful with what you give the piggies Yeah, but you're not going to eat your cute pigs No So it is going to waste It's feeding an animal It's powering the cute It's powering the oink oink Yeah, but it is going to waste. No, it's feeding an animal. It's powering the cute. It's powering the oink oink. Yeah, but it's going to waste.

Because if you were eating the pigs, then it's not going to waste. But I'm not going to eat my children, am I? And they eat a fair bit of food that I pay for. God, why do you have kids then? Not to eat them. Who knows? I don't know. What a waste.

It's like playing a video game and you don't know how it's going to end, right? Yeah, yeah. And you make a couple of bad decisions halfway through the game. Yeah. And then when you get to the part where they're in prison for drugs and stuff, it's too late to go back. Yeah. You forgot to save it as a separate game.

So you can't go back and you can't eat them. Yeah, right. That's game over if you eat your children. You better hope they put you in a good home And get a good job so they can pay for it Smother me with a nice pillow I don't want to be put in a home I don't want to be chucked in there I want to be smothered with a lovely pillow

How did we get from wasted food To eating children and smothering parents It's a dog eat dog world Canon, a Japanese company Have a Chinese office It's a dog-eat-dog world. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Canon, a Japanese company, have a Chinese office. Okay. And they have installed software where you can't book offices, like for a meeting, if you wanted to book a meeting room,

or like print something. Ironically, you can't print things easily at the Canon office. You need to use the technology installed on your phone or on your laptop that scans your face. So here we've got dots and swipe cards. Yeah. And you print something and you go to the printer and you swipe the dot and then it prints. There you've got to be like laptop, I want to print.

And then from your computer computer it scans your face. It will only print your printing if you're smiling. A prerequisite of using the facial recognition software is that you must be smiling. And so as you go to different parts of the office they can completely track

how often you go to the toilet because when you leave your part of the office you've got to use your face to unlock the door and you've got to be smiling How sensitive is it? Does it work if you're like grumpy but you do a sarcastic Like smile? I don't know And this is everywhere

Even to get into the work in the morning You've got to be smiling You can't get into work without smiling So a spokesperson said, we've been wanting to encourage employees to create a positive atmosphere by utilising the system with the smile detection setting turned on.

Mostly people here are just too shy to smile. Sounds like people don't want to smile. But once they get used to smiles in the office, they just keep their smiles without the system, which created a positive and lively atmosphere. So everybody's rocking around with like fake smiles. How black mirror is that? I know.

That is creepy. I wonder if you could just wear like a mask with a smile. With your smile printed on it. Yeah. So you wouldn't actually need a smile. Hold up a smile like your lips and mouth on a stick. Like at a photo booth. Yeah, like at a photo booth.

When you're at a photo booth. It's a lot of effort to just not smile. I wonder if the eyes, because you know you can tell by someone's eyes if they're smiling. Yeah, like they're dead eyes. Dead eyes but a big grin. But then people were doing that thing when they had masks on for COVID where you just squint your eyes and it makes it look like you're smiling under your mask. You're just like, huh.

Yeah. But you're just giving them an evil squint. We don't need this technology. No. And it's, so could it be coming to New Zealand? Can you imagine Fletch? That would piss you off so much. It would.

Employment New Zealand said it could only be set up, cameras to monitor employees should only be done when it's reasonable. Now, reasonable's in speech quotation marks. They can mean anything. I don't think making you smile just to do some printing is reasonable. It could be for safety. They said in New Zealand, the most likely reason for cameras is for safety of staff.

Right. So that could be against outside threats. Outside threats? Like pirates. Or just like they're practicing unsafe work habits. Right. I don't know. Teetering on a high shelf for a gag.

I don't know. I suffer from bitchy resting face. Yeah, same. This is not a good technology for me. You need a smile to get anywhere. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. I am the box. The box has $20,000 cash in it.

Vaughan, you're next to the box on box mic. Just plug it in the headphones there. I'm a box mic. Ready to punch in a four-digit pin. Jane joins us. Good morning, Jane. Morning. Morning.

Now, Jane, have you been through all of the clues? Yeah. What about, it was Friday's clue, 4 o'clock. This clue will make you think. So, until I listened to Georgia yesterday, I couldn't put it together, but she said the number 15, and I was looking at it as 1-5. So if you add all the numbers together, it equals 27, and my code's 2727, which is ASAP.

ASAP, ASAP. Coming soon. Coming soon, as soon as possible. Yeah. So that then relates back to number three. Oh, and there's a seven in there. That works? Yeah.

I feel good about this. I like this. Okay. I really like this. Yeah, this feels well thought out, Jane. Good. So to confirm, Jane, 2727. Jane, please confirm. Yes. You're not Jane. There's Jane. There's Jane. 2-7-2-7. Jane, please confirm.

Yes! You're right, Jane. There's Jane. There's Jane. 2-7-2-7-2. Here we go. 2-7. 2-7. Here we go, Jane. Ah!

I really wanted that to be. So close those Not really Jane On the drawing board Unfortunately Not $20,000 But We do have a double pass

To Marvel Studios Black Widow In cinemas July 8th And streaming on Disney Plus With premiere access July 9th Conditions apply

ZM's Fletch Warner Meganughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, we did it. We got over it, the winter solstice. It's all downhill to summer now, baby. So this is where the days now become longer. Correct. Each day's a tiny fraction bit longer. The shortest day is another way of saying the winter solstice.

Okay, that was yesterday. Yeah, it's the shortest day. I saw it on my watch. I think the sun went down at like 11 minutes past five. Oh, wow. In Auckland. Yeah, right. So it probably went down earlier down south.

3.30 in Gore. Doesn't it go down later down south? In summer it does, but in winter it's further away from that. In winter it's one o'clock in Gore. So they've got a bigger range. Yeah. Yeah, Gore's just like lunchtime, they'll be eating a sandwich, and they'll be like, should we be having dinner?

Because the sun's going down. It's a very confusing time to be that far south. I remember when I lived in central Otago in summer, and yet it'd still be like light, so late. Well, that's the thing. Mind-blowing. Yeah. Gore, again, you're having dinner in summer,

and you're like, I feel like we should just be having a sandwich. Having breakfast. Sure. It's a confusing. Having breakfast. Sure. It's a confusing place to live. It's a confusing time. That is 100% for sure. So, yeah, the solstice is done. And we've got a full moon this week too.

So I don't know what this means. Is it good for crystals? It's a big crystals week. Right. I think it's a big crystals week. Here's some exciting news. 96 days until Daylight Savings. September 26th.

The weekend of the 26th of September. That's when it kicks off. That's like three months. 96 days. And then do you want to know how long until Christmas? 185 days. What? 100?

I know. It's June 22. So it'll be June 25th. Next week we're halfway through the year. Isn't that nuts? Yeah, that's crazy. This year 100? I know. It's June 22. So it'll be June 25. Next week we're halfway through the year. Isn't that nuts? This year is going so fast. I'm out of stats about days. So apparently we gather a second of daylight today and then

it's a slow turnaround. Imagine a big ship turning around. It's cruising along. It's starting to stop. It's turning around but it takes a while to get going and then we start gathering momentum and we start getting more and more daylight. Good analogy.

Yeah. Good analogy that one. It was actually. Especially for the mariners listening. A lot of mariners listen to the show. A lot of mariners. Huge mariners. I think every harbour master in New Zealand listens to the show.

Yeah, so they really love that. Tickled pink by that little analogy there. Legally required, yeah. They love the thought of a big ship slowly turning. There you go. So enjoy your extra second. We have wasted a lot of those seconds. No, because the sun hasn't come up yet.

22 minutes until sunrise. Unless you're in Gore and it's still up from yesterday. No, no, no, no, no, no. And it's dinner. You won't see it this week if you're in Gore. Right. It's done for the week. Oh, you get the side weekly.

It did Monday. It's not doing the rest of the week. Yeah, right. Because it's winter in you're in gore. It's done for the week. Oh, you get the side weekly. It did Monday. It's not doing the rest of the week. Yeah, right. Because it's winter in gore. Okay, right. Nice. Next on the show, it's The Verdict. Yes.

If you want to quickly get in, go to our social and have a vote. We want to discuss, is it weird when people don't have any pictures of themselves on social media? Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Time for The Verdict, which um where we do a poll online just a poll that's in your name for a poll yeah the verdict makes it sound more dramatic yeah we need to discuss uh is it weird when people don't have any pictures of themselves on their social media so we're talking those ums, Facebook accounts Even Instagram where The profile picture is

Sunrise and then they have like Pictures of everyone else Cars, their food My first thought is Is this person on witness protection Right There can't be that many people I know on witness protection

But also like some people don't like photos of themselves. But, like, that's what social media is. I don't know. It seems weird. I'm happy for you to have the pictures of the sunrise and stuff because that's cool. And the beaches and food. I need to see who's sent me that message.

You need to see, yeah, right, okay. But it's like, someone that anti-photos and that insecure that they don't even want one photo. Oh, well you wouldn't say insecure would you? Why is there no photos? It perplexes me.

It makes it very hard to do stalking. This is true. Very hard for Facebook stalking. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm. How do I politely put this? How ugly is this person? No, but it's more how ugly do they think they are?

Yeah. Do you not think? Well, that's the thing. Some people don't like seeing photos of themselves. Or just hate getting photos taken. If you think I won't put my face on here and it will mean they can't track me and social media won't be able to work out stuff about me.

They don't need that. Well, they've got everything. But also, your friend might have had a photo of you and tagged you in it once. That's all that was ever needed there. But if you're keeping your account private on Instagram and you've got it on lock on Facebook, all your friends know what you look like.

Let our strangers see what you look like. I just mean put photos up of yourself. Well, we've asked in the poll today, in the verdict, is it weird when people don't have any pictures of themselves on social media? What do we think at the producer's desk this morning? I think it's weird. If they don't have any photos of themselves. Yeah.

If it's all like sunrises, sunsets, and you're not a photographer, then I think it's unusual. If it's a photography account. Sure, go for it. Fine. But if it's a personal account, I'm not seeing enough face.

Yeah, I want to see you, not your perspective. Whoa, that's deep. Yeah. Okay. How do we feel? Well, I'm very involved in social media, so it's weird.

It's weird, yeah. Yeah, it's a stalking account then, right? Yeah, for sure. It's like a burner account. Those are the sketchiest ones. Yeah. No profile picture whatsoever. No posts.

Nothing. A bit creepy. Yeah, but they're following a whole bunch of people. Yeah. Producer Jared, what do we think? I can see why some people wouldn't have personal photos of themselves on Instagram. Maybe they were bullied or like that kind of stuff. Maybe they've had a rough time.

And they decide, I just don't want to put myself out there. Yeah. I get that. Intriguets. Yeah, maybe they don't want to put themselves out there. But again, if your account's on lock and it's private, the only people on there are people that you would know and want on there.

Yeah. Somebody messaged in saying police officers do that to protect their families, but then also have a social media presence to keep an eye on different things. Right. Yeah, because I know some people that have public, like teachers as well do this.

They have a fake name on their social media account. Yeah, so the kids can't find the pictures of them getting wiped or wasted in the weekend. Exactly, yeah. And then gang members can't track down cops and stuff. Yeah, somebody said. I thought you were going to say gang members can't get to the teachers. That too. Some of us are just fugly, know it, and don't want it advertised.

Oh. That's what somebody texted me. No, see, you're a harshest critic. Yeah. Your friends don't think that of you. But like filters and stuff too. There's lots of options here. Send it to Megan.

She'll do that touch-up thing she does. Excuse me. She'll do that. It's filters. Face-tune thing she does. I do not have face-tune, you bitch. I've only got filters. Oh, yeah, she's got the,

she bought the Instagram presets The presets Different to You've never FaceTune Your honour Now you know it's It's against the law to lie in court

I 100% don't have FaceTune You've never used FaceTune Never ever have I used FaceTune Look at Anna's face She's got Never ever have I used FaceTune What's FaceTune? That's the one that Khloe Kardashian uses.

Is this the one they're always getting called out for because they're like dragging bits in and pulling bits out? Yeah, it makes your eyes bigger. Yeah. Does it fletch? It absolutely makes your skin blemish free. Right. Yep, you can tan yourself.

Why did you look orange in that photo? No, that's because it was a preset. Megan used a preset that made my... That's a filter. Right. Somebody messaged in, I have zero posts on Instagram because I use it purely for shopping

and following clothes and jewellery places. Okay. Facebook is used for posts and that's friends and family only. Because also you're forgetting that we all use Instagram for our jobs and for, you know, we're big into it.

But some people don't care about it. Nah. They don't want to put themselves out there. Just put one picture of yourself on there and you won't look as creepy. Well, the verdict. Is it weird when people don't have any pictures of themselves on social media? 66% of people said yes. It is weird.

No, 34. Did you think it would be more or less? I did. I thought it would be more. I thought it would be more. That's still a lot though. Yeah. We're still in the majority.

Oh, you're... Maybe somebody else messaged you. Maybe social media is the only way people have to keep up with their friends and family. Maybe they've got anxiety. Maybe they've been bullied. Maybe they just don't want to put themselves out there. Yeah. Plus private accounts stop bots.

I totally get private accounts. Yeah. That's not what we're about or against at all. I totally get private accounts. Yeah. That's not what we're about or against at all. I totally get private accounts. Yeah. I get why people don't put photos up. They just, yeah. But yeah, you just think, yeah, it's a bit creepy.

But not ever any photo you're ever happy with that you'd want to put on your social media. Of you and your mates. It seems weird. Well, maybe people should send it to you to use your filters. My presets, not my face tune. And your face tune. 722, next on the show.

I think I have a pre-lasering tip to share. I did this yesterday. This is a Vaughan Smith beauty hack. This is a Vaughan Smith beauty hack. And it worked a treat. ZM's Fletch a Vaughan Smith beauty hack. This is a Vaughan Smith beauty hack. And it worked a treat. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I don't know if I'm having

a heart attack or not. I've just got this intense, like, cramp, and it's in there, and it's like on that ad where they're like, who's having a heart attack?

And the guy in the background is just like, oh, that's, you're not having a heart attack. No, I know, but it's just right there. On your left side. Yeah, left side.

What's a muscle? Is it radiating down your arm or anything? It's kind of going up into the shoulder, down the chest pain and down in here. Can you breathe in? I don't want to ridicule you. Don't do anything over there for publicity. I don't want to ridicule you just in case you fall down on the ground or something.

How much of a breath should I be able to take? Because this is about it. And then does it hurt? Yeah. Oh, I don't know what that is. No, it's like, oh, maybe a broken rib. But I've not had anything that would indicate. Oh, from your rugby at the weekend.

Yeah, yeah, who knows? Was it a heart attack where you're supposed to cough to get yourself to the hospital? Cough to get through it or something? Well, I'm not at the hospital. You magically, oh, here I am. All right, grow up. Okay, so I'll try to suck it up and get on with it

in Kiwi bloke fashion. Nah, I'm all right. Nah, I'm all right. Bloody hell, it's just All right, grow up. Okay, so I'll try to suck it up and get on with it in Kiwi Blight fashion. Bloody hell, it's just another day, another day. Hang in there. Just another day. Shit. So yesterday, it might be actually, when I tell you what's happened, you'll be like, it probably is a heart attack. I was getting, I don't even know what session this is.

I've had quite a few sessions of lasering now. Getting very good results. The laser hair removal? The laser hair removal on my back and my ass. My back? My ass. My ass. Straight to the front of the class.

So it's getting much finer, the hair. It's lovely tonight. Shade shaved my back on Sunday night. Romance. She said this is so much easier. It takes no time and the razor needs less rinses. It's incredible results. I'm getting the results I'm after.

Incredible. Um, so on Monday I had to go. Now, last time I went, it really hurt because I had to crank the laser up. Right. Um, I'd say of the whole area hurt because I had to crank the laser up. Right. I'd say of the whole area, the butt is the least pain. It's got a bit of cushion. The cheek's got some cush, but even straight on the hole there,

you know, while it's circling the drain, shall we say. Oh, porn. Gross. What is wrong with you today? It's my last day on earth. I'm trying to enjoy it. You're going out with a bang. Yeah, I'm going out.

Got to hear it. It was having a laugh right to the end. Multiple broadcasting complaints. So that doesn't hurt as much as the wide expanse of the back. And I think it's maybe just the tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Last time it really hurt. Like there was parts where I was like, like, so this time I was like, I'm going to preempt this by taking a couple of precautionary painkillers.

Now, this is your Vaughan Smith beauty hack. Yes. If you're getting laser, now, who did my lasering said she, because I said, was this a bad idea? And she said, I don't know. So you might want to research further. Don't take my-

You're not a medical professional at all. Absolutely not. I shouldn't be dishing out medical advice except to say get vaccinated. Yeah. But I took two panties and I had a whiskey before I went. Now, you might be thinking,

Vaughan wasn't in a morning appointment. Oh, yes. It was. It was what I would call a brunch whiskey. Yeah. And it worked. The pain was... You reckon it was way better. But now I'm call a brunch whiskey. Yeah. And it worked. You reckon it was way better. But now I'm having a heart attack, which may or may not be related.

So in all seriousness, that did kill the pain yesterday. Yeah, right. Yeah, it was good. It numbed it. It was like tack, tack, tack, tack, tack. There was a little bit of discomfort, but not as much. Not as much. But apparently the laser was cranked up just even a little bit more. Yeah, right, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack. There was a little bit of discomfort, but not as much. Not as much.

Apparently the laser was cranked up just even a little bit more. Yeah, right. Well, they should team up with a bar. That's what I said. Yeah, right. It's off and on in Britomart, and there's lots of bars around there. I said,

you guys should offer a pre-lasering cocktail. Yeah. Where you can go and get a cocktail of your choice, but they just pop a couple of Panadols. Gosh, it was that sore on your back and you haven't had a Brazilian. See, this is what I've argued this with other people. The butthole doesn't hurt. And Sade said when she got it done, that was like an area of contention

the closer it got. Yeah, right. Whereas I think that that doesn't hurt as much as just the tack, tack, tack. How long did it take to get the Brazilian done? Like time-wise? How many clicks? I don't know, about 20 minutes? How big is your...

They have to fold it out or something. Was it like a map? They fold it out tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack. And then fold it all back in. You can't see the faces of the producers. You are cancelled.

How long did yours take? It doesn't take that long. Because I can do my whole back and butt in like 45 minutes. And I just think it's how long they spend tacking the back, the continual amount. Oh, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack, tack. The pain begins to build. You have daughters.

Yeah. We're moving on. Everybody's got a different vagina, Megan. Oh, my God. Some need rolling out. Some need folding out. Some don't need anything. And every one of them, you know what?

Every one of them, beautiful. Every one of them. We are moving on. You need every one of them, you know what? Every one of them, beautiful. Every one of them. We are moving on. Every one of them, God's creation. I don't know. Hey, hey, hey. I don't need you to call my vagina beautiful. I think the clot's cleared.

My pain's gone. I can move my arm again. All you needed was to give me a... No, it was the talk of vaginas. It's magically cured us all. Oh, my God. I'm back, baby. As the clot travels somewhere else in my body.

Just had a message from Ross Boss. I'm trying to eat a breakfast sausage roll. Can you please... God. Imagine if you'd stopped for a breakfast. Next on the show. I love how we both read your mind. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Every time we talk about this app, I'm like, oh, I should go. It sounds so juicy. Whisper is an anonymous secret telling app. So people will reveal secrets for the fun of it. Yep. This is particularly about the most ridiculous and irrational reasons for their biggest arguments.

And it's purchases. So purchases people have made that has caused an argument in their relationship. They range from big to really small and people just have absolutely got peeved about it. Yeah. This one I understand.

My girlfriend got mad because I bought my ex flowers. But for what occasion did like her mum pass? Who cares? Oh. Oh shit. Wow. We got ourselves a circle path.

I really wish I'd waited just a moment longer for that. We got a circle in studio who will stab you. That makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah, you know, they went out for like 10 years,

maybe he's close with the mum. Yeah. Okay, well, you didn't paint a good picture before I jumped in there. Now that you've said that, I take back my comment. God, calm down, psycho. And I'm sure she wouldn't have got upset if that was the reason. Yeah. Another one, my girlfriend broke up with me

because I bought the wrong pizza. That's serious offence. I love those arguments. It all just ends in like one little thing. It's a straw that broke the camera. But that's kind of like if you're buying one pizza and you order one and you don't like it, you're like, you should know that about me. Why don't you know that about me?

Okay, man, you're crazy. Straight up, you're a psycho. Yeah, you're really coming across psycho here. Yeah. Just order another one or just calm down. Another one, I bought an adult fun toy and now my boyfriend is freaking out at me. He thinks I'm replacing him.

If you're that easily replaced, good luck. Let's see the adult fun toy get rid of the spider that's in the corner of the bathroom that's looking at you in the shower or something. Squish it. I can probably actually hit the spider with the dilly, to be honest. But you don't want to throw your dilly.

Just disinfect it afterwards. You might break it. I was meaning to use it as like a hammer. As a hammer. I was imagining it was up. Out of the reach. No, don't throw it. Oh, you're throwing.

Okay, that could work, but then you'll never get it down. You'll have to wait for the suction cup to wear off. What a way to go. The spider. All of a sudden you're surrounded by a dome of latex. Yeah. And you're like, I'm squished, but I can still breathe.

Nope. Airtight. Okay. What a way to go. Another one, my girlfriend is so mad she won't even talk to me because I spent $40 on a pillow. What? Oh, no.

$40 on a pillow? That's nothing. You're going to spend so much of your life on a pillow. I'd be more angry if they didn't buy two. Be like, well, you get a $40 pillow. I want a $40 pillow. But then also I'd be angry if they bought a pillow. Like, I'm happy for them to buy a pillow and then I give it a run.

Yeah. I give it a test. It might not be the pillow for me. Yeah. My boyfriend legit got mad at me because I bought a Jon Snow poster. If you're putting it in the bedroom, it's not okay. But that might be a decor thing. It might not match, you know.

And also like no one hangs posters over the age of. Yeah. At what age is it okay to still hang a poster? Yeah. That no one hangs posters over the age of. Yeah. At what age is it okay to still hang a poster? Yeah, that would be a good question for another day. Yeah. Because there's definitely a cut off. Yeah. So we'd like to know this morning what purchase caused an argument in your relationship.

Yeah. Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back. And ended it. And ended a relationship or maybe just had a few days of no talking. I've had many of those. I was going to say, do you want to lead the charge? I mean, you've made yourself look psycho enough. Talking about the purchases that have ended up in an argument.

Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back or it was just something you shouldn't have bought. This is a recent one. Someone replied to our Instagram story saying, my husband bought a tractor at the field days without telling me. Oh, like last week. Yeah, that's it. How much are tractors?

It depends what you're after, mate. A big John Deere, but just a big John Deere. You're looking over 100K. Jesus, what? Yeah, for like a big, proper, big-ass. It's a green tractor. Yeah, boy. You get one of those little orange Kabutas.

Kabuto? Kabutas. That, boy. You get one of those little orange cabooters. Cabooto? Cabooters. That's one of my ones. They're like a big tractor that's been in a shrinking machine. No, not as much. But they're still like $25,000. Oh, my God. That's ridiculous. $30,000 brand new.

Jo, what was the purchase that ended in an argument? My husband bought a new set of golf clubs, and we had our first baby scan booked and I went down to the scanning place and sat there and waited and waited and waited and finally had our first baby scan by myself and went home and sitting at home and I was pretty pissed off.

I wasn't worried, I was just pissed off. And then my husband came home and said, my new golf clubs are so good. But in fairness, you are married to Rory McIlroy and he is the world's best golfer. And the video cassette shows how long ago it was. Our daughter is now 27. Got fired at his head and said,

well, maybe one day you might want to look at a picture of your first child. And he just stood there and he'd completely forgotten about the whole scan because of the excitement of buying new golf clubs. Does he still have the golf clubs? No, there's been a few sets through then, but he still gets reminded of it. Never let him forget. Brilliant, Jo.

Thanks for your call. Anonymous, what was he purchased that ended in an argument? I came home with a puppy. And that didn't go down well? No. I was on a work trip and he just looked on Trade Me and went to look and just turned

up with one. I didn't get spoken to for a week. A week? But how cute was the puppy? Because if it was cute, I'm sure it would have been alright. It's so cute. So I decided I wanted the puppy rather than the relationship.

Oh, so he's gone. Yeah. Was that on the cards? It feels like that was kind of on the cards, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, he was willing to keep it going. But, you know, don't not talk to me for a week. That's not going to do well for you.

I'd hit the roof if an unexpected dog came home. I'd absolutely hit the roof. Haven't all your pets been unexpected and against your will? They've been against my will, but at least I've been told. Anonymous sex, you call? The sex message just came in. Husband went out for carrots and came back with a pet lobster. No carrots.

Pet lobster? And I said, did you mean to write lobster? And they messaged again saying, yeah, a pet lobster. Tank and everything. Now, where do you get a lobster from? Just the fish markets? Did they rescue it? Save it from a fish market or a restaurant.

And then I googled pet lobster and it says keeping a lobster as a pet, what you should know. And then some guy on lobster online bought a giant blue lobster. And that's his pet. 20 pounds! That's a giant blue lobster. And that's his pet. 20 pounds. That's a big ass lobster. Yeah.

Yeah, I feel that would be too big for a tank. And then it lists places in the area where I might find a pet lobster. There's a pet store and then Bed Bath and Beyond. And the Beyond section. It's in the Beyond section. That's what it is. That's what's in the Beyond section. Right.

Can I get a pet lobster From the grocery store Someone said If I see a pet If I see a lobster alive At the grocery store Can I buy it Would that make

A suitable lobster pet And people were like Yeah absolutely It's all the same It just depends on what you want Your lobster to look like Huh weird ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

The podcast I am the box. Well, the box, $20,000 cash is inside, and it is yours if you manage to get through and give us a correct four-digit PIN number. We know that there is a seven in there. We've had close, and the wrong guesses that we've had, you can all find at ZM Online on the close page.

We are joined this morning by Matt. Good morning, Matt. Good morning. All right. Well, you've managed to get through. That's the hard bit. Yeah, I'm so excited. Now, what four-digit word, what four-digit number that makes a four-letter word do you want us to try?

Okay, so the number is 6347. So it still spells near, which instead of having the A as a 2, like I've decided that it may be a 4 in there. Oh, because the A looks like a 4. Like if you switch out letters for numbers, the A generally represents a 4. Okay, so you're spelling the word near, but with a four instead of an A. That's correct. So confirm for me it's 6, 3, 4, 7.

Yep, that's the one. Let's do that then, shall we? 6, 3, 4, 7. 6, 3, 4, 7. I'm afraid not. I'm afraid not, but I like your finger. Bad luck. Matt, it's not. So back to the drawing board, I'm afraid not I'm afraid not but I like your thinking bad luck Matt

it's not so back to the drawing board but we do have for you with an incorrect guess a double pass to Marvel Studios Blake Widow it's in cinemas

July 8th and streaming on Disney Plus with premiere access July 9th conditions apply I'm excited for this to sort the trailer

the other day what are we two weeks this Thursday yeah alright next on the show for this to sort of the trailer the other day. What are we, two weeks this Thursday? Yeah. Yeah. All right, next on the show,

it's our shallow dive into plastic surgery. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Shallow dive. It's time now for a shallow dive. It's like a deep dive into a subject, but it's... We don't have the time. We don't have the time for a deep dive, but we have the time for a shallow dive. It's like a deep dive into a subject, but it's... We don't have the time. We don't have the time for a deep dive, but we have the time for a shallow dive. It's a shallow dive for the time poor. Yes. That's what it is. So we are joined in studio today by a plastic

surgeon from visageplasticsurgery.co.nz, Dr. Katajana McKenzie. Good morning. Good morning, everyone. I'm excited. I have so many questions. Same. Where should we start? What is common in New Zealand for plastic surgery? Well, I think that generally New Zealand follows the global trends. And based on the recent survey, which was carried out by the International Association of Plastic Surgeons,

liposuction appears to be number one procedure, which is closely followed up by breast augmentation and just behind these we have um upper eyelid surgery or breast reduction or tummy tuck so i would say these are the most popular so breast reduction is that counted as cosmetic because there's sort of like the health implications of that's correct it's a very good question so that's by the way, my favorite procedure. I do not consider breast reduction as a purely aesthetic surgery. It's a very much functional surgery.

These ladies present with a back pain, neck pain, not being able to wear the clothes comfortably. They can sometimes exercise because of the reasons. And, you know, the young ladies, they feel like they're outside of their social circuit. So it is a functional surgery. And you know, I stopped counting the amount of ladies who would say, look, this is a life changing surgery for me.

I wish I've done it earlier. Sooner, wow. So have you ever, or do you, see botched scenarios? Do people come to you to fix things in New Zealand? I think botched is a very strong word, to be honest. And I think it usually applies to surgeries which are performed by people who shouldn't be doing them, people who are not qualified to perform these surgeries. And what I see more is a little complications

which require to be corrected. And it's mostly because the patients do not want to go back to the original surgery, maybe because they feel unhappy, maybe because they lost the trust, or just they don't feel that they've been listened to. So I don't think I'm comfortable to say that I've corrected bot surgeries, but yes, I have corrected some little problems created by others. Do you ever have people come in for a cosmetic surgery where it's not a problem?

Do you know how, like, you're your own harshest critic, right? You look in the mirror and you see things that people wouldn't see in 100 years of staring at you. how, you're your own harshest critic, right? You look in the mirror and you see things that people wouldn't see in a hundred years of staring at you. Oh, yes. So do you ever say that's not needed or is that not? All the time. Right.

Every single clinic I have somebody I send away. And it's mostly because people come and they've got the misconception about what can be done or they have very much unrealistic expectations and for to be honest with you the way i start conversation with my patients is by saying if i had the magic wand what would you like me to do and that gives me an understanding what the patient wants and do they have expectation i can actually fulfill for them so i think i think it's really important to to you know the patients, it's not about doing the surgery, it's about doing the right surgery and also with the right surgeon. And if you've got somebody who's got a body dysmorphic procedure,

so they look at the mirror and they think there's something wrong with them and I look at them and I think, honestly, I don't think there's anything I can do for you. And is that getting, do you think over time that's getting worse? There's more people with this misconception of how they actually look to others? Yes, and I think there are two reasons for that. One, because I think the cosmetic surgery or plastic surgery is becoming more popular. And it's also the phenomenon which we call a lockdown phase.

You know, people over the months have been staring at their own image on the screen. And they think, oh, my one brow is higher, the other one is lower, I've got a wrinkle here, my nose is too big. And it's a phenomenon which has been recognised globally. So I think that will also drive the amount of people coming for the surgeries. And to be honest with you, we all have got asymmetrical faces.

If I run a line... Oh, no. If I run the line just in the middle of you and I match the other side, we will get two different people. We've all got asymmetries. Is it a Snapchat filter or an Instagram filter that did that?

You hold it on the half of your face and then it would create the two faces. And there was always a better looking side. I've got my right side and my better looking side. Because they've talked about the fact that people are staring at themselves on screens

but also the filters. Do you think that people filtering themselves as well affects? Yes. And I think it's to do with the skin. You know,

we all want to have this kind of glowy, seemingly makeup-free complexion. Yeah. And we don't want the pimples to be seen. We don't want little wrinkles to be seen. So't want a very little wrinkles to be

seen so that's why people use filters because the filters do make them look much better yeah so you said that lockdown face was was a thing um is there any other trends that have come about because of pop culture like are people coming in being like horns yeah i want horns i don't honestly i don't think new zealand is as crazy as the United States. So no, I haven't. But for example, liposuction, the reason why the liposuction is becoming popular is just because the rate of obesity and the overweight rate increased.

And of course, liposuction is not a way to lose weight. You can't do that. But because we've got more obese people, especially in the United Kingdom and states in New Zealand, hence the liposuction is becoming more popular. So you're saying you get liposuction, but that's not... No. It's not a fix for your weight problem.

No, it's not. So liposuction is usually for patients who are healthy, who've got stable weight, well-balanced diet. But, you know, when we get older, we develop the pockets of what we call stubborn fat, a little bit around tummy or thighs. So these are the patients who are the best candidates for liposuction. Not the patients who've got a high BMI

and they think they will come, I will wave my magic wand and the fat will go away. I'm sorry to disappoint you all. I'm really sorry. I wanted the easy way. There's no easy way. I've seen liposuction on TV, and it looks so aggressive. It looks so aggressive.

It is. It is. So my anaesthetist always says to my patients that after the surgery, they feel like they've just had a game against all blacks? Right. Maybe you feel sore and bruised and swollen. Wow. What's one that's on the increase that maybe people weren't getting done

10 years ago that seems to have popped up in popularity? Well, I think it's the fat grafting, which has become really popular where we take the fat from one part of the body, for example, tummy or thighs, and we place it to breasts. So, for example, we call it an autologous breast augmentation. It has become really popular, and I think one day the breast implants

will be a thing of the past. And we can also use the FET to correct some defects after, for example, breast reconstruction. It's also used to manage skin after radiotherapy or painful scars or painful nerves. So I think that's been on the increase and will continue to be on the increase as well. And I like with suction, as I've mentioned as well.

How does it stay there? If you take it from the thighs or the belly and put it on the breasts, how does it stay there? So it works as a graft. So what it means, graft is a dead piece of tissue which is taken from one part of the body and is placed somewhere else. And it relies on the blood supply

to be established from the surrounding tissue. And we do know that only about, we do know that about 30 to 50% of fat is going to die. So it stays there, but some of it is going to die. Hence, the downside of doing this procedure is that some patients may require this procedure to be repeated, which means it also becomes expensive. But it's a very nice procedure to perform.

Fascinating. So fascinating. So many questions. And I think your accent adds to the fascination. Yeah, I know. Fascinating. So fascinating. So many questions. And I think your accent adds to the fascination. I know. I know. Very exotic. Makes it seem so exotic and mysterious.

Well, thank you so much for coming in today. We really appreciate your time. Thank you very much. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Just some feedback. Re-shallow dive. We'll dive no deeper because the shallow dive promises only the shallowest of dives. I found that so fascinating.

Yeah. Fascinating. Dr. McKenzie did my- Are you going to read that out? Yeah. Okay. That was the deal. Yeah, okay.

Do I use it? Do you not want to? No, I just- Okay. Yep. Dr. McKenzie did my labiaplasty reconstruction and I was able to claim GST back on my operation because OnlyFans is my full-time job

and I wanted a prettier looking... You think? Okay, yeah, right. She did a great job. I've had nothing but compliments. Wait, you can claim that back with the IOD. Well, it's part of her job. It's part of her employment.

That is amazing. As long as she's paying... But then as OnlyFans boasts overseas, because you can't claim GST on an income from overseas. Let's get the IRD on the phone and do another shallow dive into what you can claim back from OnlyFans. Yeah. Who from the IRD will be...

The OnlyFans expert. Yeah. Well, it would fall under, like, if it's not New Zealand based, if they're not paying tax in New Zealand, if it's going, if it's overseas. No, but you're based in New Zealand. You're creating the content in New Zealand. And some of your people would be in New Zealand.

Yeah, but is it GST? Yeah, but who's paying you? Oh my God, what a fascinating shallow dive that would be. Yeah, but there's just like online orders that people are ordering something from overseas. There's a very aroused tax accountant. We're talking about tax, but also OnlyFans. Yeah, right.

Tax has never been so exciting. You do pay tax on OnlyFans, somebody's message. Oh, okay, so you could claim it back. Oh, that's fascinating. Oh, well, let's add that to the shallow dive list. OnlyFans is worldwide. I pay 33% a year. I'm in the New Zealand top income bracket. Well, no, you should be paying.

I know, because you'd be doing it as a contractor. So 33% is the highest company tax rate. This is what I'm saying. We need to do a shallow dive into what you can claim back. This is, yeah, the sexiest tax chat. Isn't it? Who knew accounting was fun? Our accountant.

I think Helen would have a thing to say. She would. So I said a thing to say to that. She would. So I said I wanted to talk about this. I spied something out my window. Because you know what it's like at mine. We're surrounded by apartments. Yep. It's like, I'd have a little telescope.

What? Do you know that is the number one comment when people look out my window. They're like, I'd get a telescope. I'd get a telescope. I'm like, that's a little bit pervy. You can see a lot because people turn on their lights at night. Yeah, and they don't shut the curtains until late or they might not shut them. I'm the same.

Just leave them open and you're kind of oblivious to it. After you live next to apartments, you don't really look. Your doodle's like, where's Wally? Like if someone's in the apartment over the road and you get out of the shower, nerd, and you're in the lounge If they spot it They'll probably draw around it with pens So it spoils it for everybody else But if they spot it

That's a naked guy on Friends Yeah Listen, when we stay in hotels Shadows are always like Oh Jesus, pull the curtains I'm like, what are the chances of someone seeing it? No, so I had a friend that used to work In a building in the city

And they had a hotel right next to their office block and they would always message around being like, quack, come to Gary's desk. We've got someone in the hotel room. Like, oh. And have it all the time. Yeah, all the time. But no, this is something I spotted out the window

in someone's apartment. They have roller blinds. Oh, yes. And I've got roller blinds as well. And the problem is at night, the light comes in in the side. Yeah, because you can get roller blinds that sit across the entire window.

You get them that sit in the window. Yeah, mine are set in the window. So it's a little, when I first got them, I was like, this is a bit annoying. And I've always thought maybe you could get like a little sheer curtain on the side to cover that gap.

Yeah. Some nets. Some nets. Some nets. The nets don't keep the light out. And I've always thought maybe you could get like a little share curtain on the side to cover that gap. Yeah. Or. Some nets. Some nets. Some nets. Some nets. And keep the light out. No. No.

People have been able to perv in. I just, it doesn't bother me anymore. I just get to sleep. It's fine. But I used to be one of those people where if there was a light on the TV, I'd put a little bit of blue tack over it or, because I've got to be in darkness. But someone in the apartment building over from mine has cut up like an old TV box

and has stuck cardboard to the sides of all their windows. So when they roll down their blinds, no light is coming into their room. And it's doing my head in because I'm, and it's not cut straight, it's wonky. And you can see like a bit of the Panasonic logo where they've cut the TV box. Can you make a complaint to their body corp? I don't.

I'm like, hey, it's Mrs. Fitzgerald in 3F. I've got a big problem with this camera. Because I know that like apartment buildings have rules. Like sometimes you're not allowed to leave stuff on the balconies because it looks a bit like. Washing and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It looks a bit like... Washing and stuff. Yeah, it looks a bit like messy and stuff. But I don't know. And then there's rules about like your curtains might have to be a certain colour,

all black or all white or something. Good Lord. Because otherwise it's all... Have you ever walked past an apartment building and everyone's got different colour curtains? Yeah. It's like... It does my head in.

I don't know. I don't know what I can do, but it's doing my head in because every time I look out my window, I'm like, there's the cardboard and it's not cut straight and it looks gross. Can you write a big message to them and stick it on your window and be like, your cardboard looks shit? Well, just get an eye mask. Oh, yeah.

A weighted eye mask. Oh, a weighted one. A lavender-scented weighted eye mask. You'll be off to nun-eyes land in no time. In no time. I guess some people find it hard to sleep with an eye mask. Oh, a weighted one. A lavender scented weighted eye mask. You'll be off to nun eyes land in no time. In no time. I guess some people find it hard to sleep with an eye mask. But I don't know. Or just bury your head under a pillow or the duvet.

I don't know. Like, think about your neighbours, okay? Think about Fletch looking at you. They could do a nice job of it. Like if they'd painted the cardboard. Yeah, or maybe get some Duracell or a vinyl and just put a Thick

A thin strip down I don't know God it's doing my head in though Or am I just being like OCD or something Or I don't know Am I being unreasonable You

I never I've never thought In all your years This seems slightly unreasonable That he wants everybody else To do what he wants To do Yeah right okay ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast In all your years. This seems slightly unreasonable that he wants everybody else to do what he wants to do. Yeah, right.

Okay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yes. Yes. Today's fact of the day is about the steeplechase. Yesterday we had a fact of the day regarding the steeplechase,

but that was people on horses. This is people on their own legs. Okay. The steeplechase at the Olympics, the 3,000-metre steeplechase, that's how long it is. It's jumping hurdles. It's going through, like, hedges and splashy bits. Imagine how hard it's going to be at the Tokyo Olympics wearing a mask, doing the steeplechase.

I don't think they have to wear a mask. No, they do. They don't have to stay two metres apart. So you can't overtake the winner. No. And if you're going in, you've got to go round them. Yeah, by two metres. A wide way.

This is about the males. Because this is another thing. The female steeplechase has only been at the Olympics since 2008. So there's only been three. You can't trust women to jump over those hurdles, can you? That was sarcasm. I'm not biting. Why?

Because they're carrying their baby in a handbag or something? Is that real? No, they've got their period. Oh, my. Of course. Of course. God, get them a cup of tea. An episode of The Hills?

I don't know. The Hills. I wasn't going to help you out. Shade used to love The Hills. Yeah. I mean, she still does. I assume that it was comfort for her during her menstrual cycle. As a supportive husband, I'll do anything. Okay.

But today's fact of the day is Kenya has absolutely dominated the steeplechase since 1984. They have won every single gold medal since the 84 Olympics. Their first gold medal in steeplechase was in 68, and then they won in 72. Then they had a couple of Olympicses off off and then they've come back and won gold medals in 84, 88, 92, 96, 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2016 and in the years 2004 and 1992 they actually won gold, silver

and bronze in the males. What makes them so dominant in the steeplechase department? Distance running has always been a Kenyan strength. But yeah, like absolute dominance in the steeplechase department. Just good runners. Distance running has always been a Kenyan strength. Right. But yeah, like absolute dominance in the steeplechase. What about the women, Kenyan women?

The Kenyan women have come silver, bronze and silver in the three Olympics that it's been happening for them. So in the men's, as far as like medal points tally, they're on 22 points. 22 medals, sorry, overall for Kenya. The next closest is Finland with nine. Oh, right. So yeah, absolutely dominant in there.

So one to watch for this. Somebody sent this in yesterday when we were talking about the steeplechase. Someone said, I thought you were talking about someone died doing the actual human steeplechase because they had not heard of the horses. Oh, you're right.

No, if you died doing the human... You're out. You're out, I think. Yeah, you're out. It's the fall over your hurdle and... Interesting. Yeah, you don't want to break a leg, though. They'll put a tent over you and shoot you.

That happens in the Olympics as well. Yeah, all the time. So today's fact of the day is there is no nation as dominant in the steeplechase as Kenya. They have won every gold medal in the event since 1984. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We want to talk about big lies your parents have told you because this is from a guy who is now 20.

My husband was rehearsing for the musical that he's in. Madagascar tickets available now. King Puss. He's playing the big King Puss. Alex. Yep. Alex King Puss. If you're a mum going along, don't get too thirsty with your eyes

or you'll get scratched by the Queen Puss. Because at home he's got a baby puss. Yeah, referred to earlier in the show, psycho. Kitty Puss. Kitty Puss at home with the... With Big Sis Puss and... There's no passion in this musical. Yeah, but there's lycra bodysuits.

Those mums are going to be thirsty. They'll be like, meow. But at rehearsal, they were sharing around some peanut butter chocolate. When someone said, a guy said, I don't, I'm allergic to peanuts. So I'm, well, I don't, I don't deal with peanuts. Okay. And so assuming he's allergic, they're like, okay, well, we'll keep it away from you. We'll eat it over here. He's like, no, no, okay, well, we'll keep it away from you. We'll eat it over here.

He's like, no, no, no, it's fine. I'm not allergic or anything. It's just, my mum told me up until I was 20 that I was allergic to peanuts. But apparently she was just really worried about him choking on peanuts. And so he went 20 years of his life believing that he couldn't eat them and everything related to peanuts. Otherwise he'd die from like anaphylactic shock. Yeah. But it turns out, no, he was fine.

So when he was 20, she's like, oh, no, you're not actually allergic to those. I was just lying to you. Yeah. This whole time. But now, I don't know, traumatised or just been so long without them, he doesn't eat them. But also, why wouldn't you let your cat eat peanut butter? Because it's smooth?

You can't smooth peanut butter. Yeah. No, but she just wasn't a fan. She didn't want him going down the avenue of peanuts full stop because, I mean, peanut butter, you start with smooth, that's a gateway to crunchy, and then you really just want all crunch and you start eating straight peanuts.

And then before you know it, he's choking. Yeah. Little Timmy. Oh. I mean, my dad wasn't like allergic to stuff, it was just if he didn't you know it, he's choking. Yeah. Little Timmy. Yeah. I mean, my dad wasn't like allergic to stuff. It was just if he didn't want to share, he'd just be like, this is really bad for children. This is when you get to a certain age, this is when you can eat. Do you lie to your kids, anything like that? All the time.

You're like, kids can't eat this. That's bad for you. Yep. Oh, what about the kid who did that? And they'll be like, what kid that did that? And I'll be like, oh yeah, that's right, he's dead now. Oh, fine about the kid who did that? And they'll be like, what kid that did that? And I'll be like, oh, yeah, that's right, he's dead now. Oh, come on, you do not. I tell them beautiful little crafted fibs.

But you're not going to keep that facade up until they're 20, are you? Well, once you start down a road of lies, it's pretty hard to turn the bus around. Because when do you say, oh, look, actually, you're not allergic to peanuts. I just didn't want to buy you peanuts or I didn't want you choking. Yeah. When do you? It's hard. Also, what kid would want, like, when they are a choking hazard, what kid's after peanuts?

You know? It's not really a kid snack, is it? No. Unless they were a very choke-prone teenager. But then there's, like, raisins and grapes and all of the little snacks that they could choke on equally. Grapes are a big choking hazard because of that you can slip straight down and then block the old air pipe.

You've got to cut up your grapes. So we want to ask this morning, if you've ever been in this situation, did your parents ever lie to you about something? And how long did they keep the lie up for? Yeah, bonus points if you can beat 20 years. Yeah, maybe it was just easier for them to lie to you and say, oh, you know, this is just the way it is. And then you can't correct it because you don't want to be the person

that lied to your kids for ages. Somebody said, my mum lied and told me that I was handsome. Oh, my God. 26 years on and I've learned it's definitely a stretch at best. No. You're just growing into yourself. That is cute. We want to know the biggest lies your parents told you growing up.

Can you beat someone being told they're allergic to peanuts for 20 years? Does this guy mind his story being shared? Oh, I don't know. I didn't name him. Well, being told you're allergic to peanuts when you're not for 20 years. Someone messaged in, our house had very large light switches in each room and my mum told me it was so blind people could find them easier. But that sounds like an actual reason, right?

I always love when I go to America, their light switch is a giant. They're like big ones. Yeah, and I'm like, why do we always have the tiny little ones? Okay, so what does a modern light switch look like? Oh, yeah, I know what it looks like. They're little. How about go back in history with me here to New Zealand's history of light switches. Can you remember the ones that were like a real point out

and you had to really like work them down with your thumb and then the top came out? That was a good light switch. Nah, we weren't in World War II. Another good light switch was the ones that you grabbed. You actually grabbed them and flicked them up. Nah. And then they poked out like a rod and you could flick them up.

We weren't alive in the 40s, man. Okay, what about, stay with me here. One last trip down the old history path of New Zealand light switches. What about those ones that were round and they sat on the wall and they were round and they came out. Yeah, they were black and they were all white. You got them all white too and they came out like a half globe. And on the end, there was just a little switch like that.

Why was there a big globe for the knob? I don't know if it was for the wiring. I'm not 100% sure. Do you guys remember those? Nah, because we went alive in the World War II again. Stephanie. Back in the good old days. Stephanie, what was the lie your parents told you growing up?

So when I was younger, my grandma had no belly button because she had surgery when she was younger. And I used to suck my thumb, so my parents used to tell me that I'd end up like my grandma and if I sucked my thumb, my belly button would fall off. And did that actually scare you into doing that? No, I'm 28 and I still suck my thumb occasionally when I'm really tired. Shame her.

She can suck her thumb if she wants. No, you can't. What do you wash your hands? Only when I'm really tired, though. Oh, that's kind of cute. Oh, what if Stephanie's cruddled up on a couch having to suck on her thumb? Stephanie, thanks for your call. Keep your texts coming through. 9696. We'll get to suck on a tongue. Stephanie, thanks for your call. Keep your texts coming through.

9696. We'll get to more of those next. Talking about the lies that your parents told you growing up. Lots of lies. So much so that the text machine just keeps updating and pumping in more lies that your parents told you

that have caused your huge trust issues as an adult. And now you continue that cycle of lies onto your children to cripple them with the same sort of trust issues that you find yourself somewhat hampered with now. Jeez, alright bloody psychotherapy. My parents told me there was a strong history of diabetes in the family so soft drinks were absolutely not allowed. When I grew up and went to the doctor, I asked about this

and it turns out there has never been a case of diabetes in our family tree. Did that backfire and now they just like drink soft drinks? They fiend soft drinks. I bet they'd have good teeth though. Yeah, good teeth. My mum told us never ever to lean over a balcony rail because the devil will run up and push you over. Oh, jeez. The devil.

When I was a kid, I was terrified of the devil. Oh my God. Some nights I couldn't sleep. I was convinced it was in our house. And it's one of the main reasons why I will not have any religion pushed in the direction of my

kids. And they think, oh, it'll scare them straight. It doesn't scare you straight. It just scares you full stop. Yeah, right. Terrified of this monster. Yeah, you've got a guy upstairs watching every move you make and a guy downstairs who's just creeping around,

doing evil shit. Ready to push you off a balcony. Yeah, off balconies and eat your soul if you misbehave. No good. Yeah, that's quite wild, eh, telling kids that. Because you try and convince them there's not a monster under your bed, but, oh, yeah, the devil exists. The devil's there.

Well, he's just a bit more down, isn't he? Good Lord, no. No, no, no. That's a bit of traumatic Catholic. Yeah, wow. You've seen a little bit of Catholic trauma boil to the top there. Patrick, what was the lie that your parents told you? Guys, my parents convinced me and my two younger brothers

well into our early teens that when the Mr. Whippy ice cream man had his music turned on, that they were actually out of ice cream. Yeah, that is an absolute. That should be in the handbook they give you when you leave the hospital with the baby. Yeah. That's a great little tip. Patrick, thanks for your call.

Some other text messages in. Somebody said, my parents told me that steak was only for adults. Some other text messages in. Somebody said, my parents told me that steak was only for adults. Children couldn't digest it. You can have the mints, kids. Yeah, that sounds to me like, because it says me and my brother. So this sounds like two boys

who wouldn't have been happy with one steak. They wanted multiple steaks because they're absolutely bottomless. It was cheaper to feed them straight mints. Before, when we were on the light switch rant about blind people being able to find them, I hadn't thought about it, but people said blind people don't need lights because it's dark all the whole time.

I hadn't even thought about that. But they have guests, and they might want to turn the light on for their guests. Yeah. And people might be partially blind And still need a light switch. But why do we have, let's get somebody from the New Zealand Light Switch Association on. But not all light switches are like that. And ask why we've got small light switches

compared to the rest of the world. It's not acceptable. My light switches in my house are big panels. Light switches are like nipples. Yeah, and I've got little nipples and I wish I had bigger ones. You want bigger. Some people have got big light switches. Some people have got big nipples. They'd like them smaller. No one's happy with what I've got little nipples and I wish I had bigger ones. You want bigger? Some people have got big light switches. Some people have got big nipples.

They'd like them smaller. No one's happy with what they've got. Everybody wants what they're keeping up with the Joneses. How big are your light switches? Like that, and it's like a panel. Those are shit. Oh, light switches. Gotcha.

Yeah, my nipples are rectangular. Oh, yeah, she's got giant areoles. Like dinner plates. Huge oblong shape things. You have not seen my areoles. And I do not want to see your areoles, that's for sure. Too much of my body has been discussed on this show today. My husband had a friend that looked a bit like Macklemore.

Macklemore? Okay. I told my friend he was Macklemore. She's now 11 and I'm starting to feel like I probably need to tell her the truth. But she's asked if he's got another song coming out or if he's too busy working because sometimes he works with dad. Macklemore, what's a dad on the side? Yeah, that is the greatest lie to tell your kid. That's brilliant.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clint a listen too subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts hit music lives here ZM