ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Megan’s Podcast - 31st May 2021

Episode Date: May 30, 2021

Megan's Dress  Pet-ernity Leave  Top 6: Extra Work Hours  What does your parent still do for you?  Megan chat with her Mum  Where's my Medal?!  The Box  Vaughan's Butt  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fleetch Vaughan and Megan podcast. It's thanks to McCafe by five McCafe coffees get one free on the Maccas app You've got a mouthful of porridge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's good to be in porridge again, right? I'm off to the physio now after the show You're gonna get acupuncture. Well, I've got to just get see what's wrong with my back cuz I screwed it at the weekend Cuz you lifted the weights of your back your your arch your back, your silly sausage. I didn't bend like a, what's that ad? Bend like a crane. Don't use your back as a crane.

Yeah, no, you don't crane. What, you don't crane? Oh, okay. That's why the ad didn't get through to me. Bend before you extend. Yes. Bend before you bend? Something like that.

One of those, I was, one of the trainers at the gym I go to, Megan, was on the rowing machine the other day. The trainer. You can't take videos of people at the gym. No.

That's what I've learned the hard way. Very much frowned upon. A couple of community services later, I finally learned my lesson. Yep. I was almost going to be like, hon, I know it says trainer, but you're going to hurt yourself doing it like that. Like it wasn't. People that go right back.

It was all in the arms. It wasn't, they weren't using, it's the legs, right? It's the legs that are the powerhouse of a row. You're supposed to go slow, push your legs hard, real firm, and then bring your arms back in. And a straight back, right? Straight back. No, you can lean back a little bit. Right, but people that lean

don't hunch. No, you've got to have a good posture, sit up right. I always think about people incorrectly rowing when I see them at the gym. I think about you. And when they bring the handles down into their laps. I'm like, sweetheart, if you were in a boat, you'd be out in the water now. You'd have crabbed it. Your oar would have crabbed.

You would have caught a crab. You would have caught a crab, you remember. Yep, yep. Because I always think about how funny it would be if a crab actually was on the end of the oar. And it flipped the boat. Yeah. ZM. Hit music.

Lives here. Fleach, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleach, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Crazy scenes coming out of Canterbury with this red, what do they call it? Red warning rain, which is like a,

this never happens. Did you see on the news last night they explained how it happened? And because the wind's whirling around, you think of it going around clockwise spinning Yep Where three different ones of those converged Was just off the coast of the South Island

So it was like pulling Like a traffic jam Moisture in from all sorts of places Oh wow, okay No, it'd be more like three hoses All pumping water in Converging into one huge hose And then it was just like boom

And it was so heavy it hit the hills And it was just like, boom. Yeah, right. And it was so heavy, it hit the hills and it just dropped. Well, we'll keep you updated throughout the morning. Yeah, evacuations, people on standby, Ash Burden. Don't take any chances. If you're listening, there's absolutely like, yeah, I wouldn't go near any body of water because you don't know what's underneath it.

Like people going for a nosey on bridges and the water's like right below the bridge. I'd be like, oh, no way. Or just people driving home yesterday seeing some of the videos of driving over those bridges. I was like, no. Don't do that. We'll keep you updated throughout the morning. Yeah. With any evacuations or anything.

I had to get an Uber to work. It was raining so hard this morning. I did think about you. Yeah. I got Bob's Uber. How was Bob? He was not up to Uber standards. What?

What is wrong? He was lovely, but there was nowhere to plug my seatbelt in his car's tank of ciggies. Oh, shit. I was like, Han, you're not up to overstanders, but I'll let this slide. Five stars for you. Oh, babe. Because otherwise I was going to get soaking wet. That's just a...

I never give anyone less than five stars. No. Just, you know. Right. Unless they really have done something. Unless, like, they shat themselves or something. Bob may have shat himself. I might go down to four or three.

In studio, there is a giant box. It's got a black sheet over it. It says, no peeking. Open me at eight. So I guess that's what we're doing at eight o'clock. We're absolutely in the dark about this. Is this a camera pointing at the box? It is a camera.

So there's a camera pointing at the box. And that's all we know. It'd be so easy just to peek underneath, though. It's just like a sheet. I know, it would be. It's like Christmas. Yes. And mum and dad have got the presents under the trees and they're not home.

Can you resist? A shake. It's like mum and dad have put the Christmas presents under the tree, but just with a sheet on it. Not even wrapping. And they're not here to tell you no. But it's tight at the back. It's tight on there, so it'll need. Not even wrapping. And they're not here to tell you no. But it's, no, it is,

it's tied at the back. It's tight on there so it'll need to be undone at the back. Alright, well, eight o'clock, we will reveal everything. Is it a chance

for people to win? No. What? Interesting. We'll see. She said, we'll see. We'll see.

We'll see. Interesting. Alright, coming up, the top six. Yeah, apparently Kiwis work more hours a week Than other countries around the world Yeah, right I'll tell you what we're doing In those extra two and a half hours soon Alright

I had a bad experience yesterday at the mall Was it being at a mall? Because malls are horrible and crowded and loud and smelly. No, I got stuck, shall we say that. All right, we'll delve into that soon on the show. But next, a very progressive French rugby club has a new club sponsor. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

There is a French rugby club, excuse my French, it's a bit of a mouthful, Biarritz Olympique. Oh, that sounded good actually. It sounded like you said it right. Biarritz Olympique Pesbasque. French rugby club. Okay. Have a new jersey sponsor for the season.

Okay. And it is a gay dating app grinder. So that's written on the jersey. It's written on the jersey where else is it? The front and the centre and accompanied by a cheeky placement of the

logo on the bottom of the playing shorts. Who was it? Was it the Taranaki rugby team last year that had that logo on the bottom? So every time they were like bending over in a ruck, it was like the perfect placement. Was it a brewery? I think it was a brewery logo, was it, or something?

Was there an O right in the centre? It looked like they knew what they were doing. Yeah, definitely. So they said not only is it a great club sponsorship, which over four years is going to net them something like $6 million. Oh, wow. But it's also a wider part of a campaign by the club

to counter homophobia within the sport of rugby. That's so good. Yeah. The club said it pledged to participate in a fight against homophobia and to have committed to Grindr to continue its action for inclusivity and acceptance at the level of its league and rugby. God, I'd love to see them sponsor a super rugby team.

How great would that be? Yeah, because so many old mates would be so confused. They're like, what kind of bloody Grindr are they talking about? Have they even got a brain name on it? Is it a DeWalt? Is it a Bikita? Black and Decker? All the old mates will be going into Mitre 10 asking for a grinder. I have a grinder.

A grinder? I don't know the brand, but the logo looks like some sort of face. Some sort of mask situation. I can't wait until the rugby players have to do that thing, you know, where they do the sponsor day. Like all the All Blacks have to go and hang out in Adidas. Yeah. And meet fans.

What are they going to do for Grindr? Well, they'll get an account, log on, say hello, hook up with some dudes. Yeah. Just for this. Yeah, right. I mean, statistically, well, I know this is the thing. We haven't had a gay All Black yet, have we?

No, we haven't at all. Not openly. You said that like you know of one. No, I don't know of one. Okay. So there are some New Zealanders in the French playing this French rugby club. Okay. Yeah, former Otago players and a former All Black centre, Francis Sailly and Adam Knight

and Gavin Stark play for the club. Okay. Yeah. That's very progressive. I think it's cool. Yeah. I think it's so cool. Proactive of the club to make it feel like a safer place for someone to come out.

Yeah. It's good. It's actually like a pretty spiffy. I shouldn't have doubted the French. You know, they're a fashionable nation. Well, they know, don't they? Yeah, they know their fashion. It's a pretty spiffy uniform.

Spiffy. Pretty spiffy indeed. I said spiffy, not stiffy. Yeah, right. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A study has found that people that always run late, i.e. Vaughan Smith, I was actually on time yesterday. Oh, what for?

To where? For lunch. It involves food? Because Shade was nagging me about that. Yeah, because your wife was there. But if you're at work and we're going somewhere, we'll make you go with us and you'll be early. Yeah.

But if you're by yourself, you're never early. Often. Often just after. Just after early. Just after on time. Just after. Like, you know, 20 minutes, half an hour after the rest of us. At work, for example.

Well, this study has found that people that always run late are happier and healthier. I'd agree. How though? But you run late and you're not bothered by it. Whereas if I'm running late, I'm like, oh my God. It's also found that it doesn't really matter. And this is the problem is that everyone is waiting for you and they become stressed. So, of course, you're happy and healthy.

I don't like to think people are waiting for me. I think they're really looking forward to seeing me and there's anticipation building when I'm like a little bit late. No. It's just he's not here yet and I'm really looking forward to seeing him more and more every minute that he's not here. And then when I arrive, hey! Yeah.

That's kind of what I experience. Usually the reception you get from Fletch when you arrive? In my mind, that's not here. And then when I arrive, hey! Yeah. That's kind of what I experience. Usually the reception you get from Fletch when you arrive? In my mind, that's the experience every time. Yeah. So you're basically stressing the rest of us out. And so you're healthier. The counter stress. Compared to us.

Right. I'm just making you unhealthier through stress. Yeah, basically. Gotcha. But apparently you're always more likely to be multitaskers And optimists Optimistic Optimists

Right I'm pretty good at multitasking Yeah Like doing a few things at once But that's why you're late Because you get sidetracked by everything Correct But that's how I also make up the time

Yeah right Also bright and creative Late people Stop it This is just an absolute I feel like this is just You just wanted to flirt with me Yeah I do After I wasn't here on Friday.

You've got to catch up with all the flirting. Yeah, it's been like two days and the weekend of flirting that I've missed. Yeah. Yeah. It's true.

Gosh, let's never leave it this long again because you're really piling it on thick. You know how I get after those two week holidays. Oh my God. So much pent up flirtatious energy.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So much pent up flirtatious energy. Flesh, fauna, Megan. The podcast. ZM. So we've got an event coming up and I, don't give me shit about buying a dress. You. We all do. Oh yeah. What event is this?

Yeah, we've got an awards event. Oh, I'm not going. You are going. You always say that. You're going. I don't want not going. You are going. You always say that. You're going. I'm not going. So, actually, this is quite timely you mention this because at the weekend I was like, I've got three suits of

different sizes of my body. Good, me too. Did you try them all on? So, I've got one. I reckon I'm like one and a half kgs, two kgs away from fitting it perfectly. Goal? Good. Yeah, but I'm not going to make it kgs, two kgs away from fitting it perfectly. Goal? Good. Yeah, but I'm not going to make it in like a week or two weeks.

Have you still got your purchase? It's in like a week. Is it 10 days? 10 days. I can't go. I'm busy. Vaughn, you're going. I'm just wearing jeans and a shirt.

Yeah, that's fine. I'm not buying another. Because I don't need four suits. You'll be the only person wearing jeans. I'm going to wear a t-shirt and a beanie. You'll be the only person. I'm Oprah.. I'm going to wear a t-shirt and a beanie. You'll be the only person. I'm Oprah. I'm the yo-yo-er from way back. I don't need another suit, Megan.

The one you've got will be fine. Maybe I'll go to Frank Casey and get a suit. The one you've got will be fine. I saw someone wearing a suit and I was like, this is a lovely suit. I said, where's the suit? And they said, this is the trick. You buy a Hallenstein's suit. Yeah.

A Hallenstein's Brothers suit suit For like $1.99 Shirt included Yeah And then you get it tailored Oh And they're like Look Yeah right

So you get it a size too big That's what they'd done And then And they had it tailored And I was like It looked like a Like a schmick tailored suit Oh yeah wrong

It was a hot play The tailoring cost them Like $45 Oh that's cheap That That's cheap tailoring. They haven't had a lot done. I think they had the arm length changed. There you go. It's a good idea. It was a hot play. It was a great suit.

Spending $200 to go to something I want to go for for like eight minutes. Do we only have to go for eight minutes? I don't think so. Seems like a long way to drive just for eight minutes. Maybe I'll just stay at home. And then when we get a photo together, I'll be in a dress and you two will be wearing jeans. Crop us in.

Yes. Just put me in. Bluetooth me in. No, what did I mean to say? Bluetooth me in. Photoshop. Photoshop me in. Oh my God.

When can we hologram in? What a great idea. So I was looking for a dress. Don't. I've got. Yes, I've got dresses, but I just wanted a new one. And the one I bought was like pre-baby. Right.

So you're at House of Pagani looking for a dress? Because you're a mum now. No, do you know what? I was given permission by my husband to buy something nice. So I went to a nice store. Okay. This was a nice store. August day.

At the mall. At the mall. So farmers. the mall so farmers yeah sure um and i was looking everywhere wasn't a lot going on and i found a dress which was beautiful but it was my size before i'd had the baby and i was like i'm gonna try it i'm gonna try it like what can see they're not gonna fit or it'll fit. Lovely cotton on dress. Yeah. So I went, this is it. Also, this dress was half price.

It was a very expensive dress before it was half price. And now it's like max budget for me. But I put on this dress and it was snug. So I like squeezed into it. It was snug, but I got it on and I was like, okay, too tight. But hey, I got into this size. Now, these changing rooms were in the middle. They're in this store.

They're randomly spaced out individually in the middle of the store. So they're shut by a loose curtain that, you know, those ones that don't always go to the edges. So there's little gaps on either side of this curtain in the middle of this expensive store. And that's when I realised I'm not going to buy this dress. I can't get it off. I got it on, but I can't get it off. And I knew that putting on the dress, I wouldn't be able to wear the bra that I was wearing as like a nursing bra. It wasn't right for the dress.

I was braless under the dress as well. Oh, God. Okay. So I pull the curtain. And there's a flappy curtain. There's a flappy curtain that doesn't go to the edges. You're making a hell of a scene in Tarou Cash. Are you on a mall website?

No, I'm just really, I've been quiet. I've been like racking my brains for other clothes stores. Is it Tarou Cash guys? I don't know. So you could be doing that wear a guy's suit thing. So I peeked out and I was like, hey Andrew, I need help to get

out of this. He's like, I've got Bastion in the pram. He's like, I've got Bastion in the pram, I can't leave him out here. And I was like, no, I can't get out of this dress. I was like, you're going to have to help me. So I literally couldn't get out of it by myself. He's got the pram in the curtain,

and he's trying to hold on to him while he is lifting the dress up over my head, keeping in mind I don't have, I'm literally in my underwear in the middle of this expensive store, and as this dress pulls up over my head, the pram pulls the curtain back. And I'm, yeah. At least the dress is over your face.

Yeah. So, yeah, I'm just pretty much standing naked in this store. And I didn't buy the dress. Well, no, you wrecked it. No, it came off and nothing broke thankfully but I was definitely seen naked by a shop assistant in a young family. But it's okay.

I reckon shop assistants would see it all the time. I mean that young family is probably in counselling this week but other than that, yeah. So back to the drawing board. I've actually tried on, Have you ever tried clothes on And taken them off in your hair Just so

Not a tear But like a Strain Like a stretchy strain Yeah Like one of the One of the stitches is given away Yeah yeah yeah

But you decide There's not a hole But Like do you want me to help with it You're like I'll put it back I'll put it back for you Because I've got to fold it So you can't see what I've done to it

Exactly So what back to the drawing board Yeah I don't know what I'm going to wear Well you've got to fold it so you can't see what I've done to it. Exactly. So what, back to the drawing board? Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to wear. Well, you've got stuff at home. Yeah, I do. That's a fair call. Are we all going in jeans and t-shirts? Yeah, 100%.

I think so. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. With more pets than people in Australia, this is affecting a lot of people. Wait, what? There's more pets than people in Australia, this is affecting a lot of people. Wait, what? There's more pets than people, according to this. That's crazy. What, there's 20 million people in Australia?

Is that how many? But you think, like, families will have multiple pets. Right, and horses count as pets. Yeah. Some of them might have four canaries, even though they should only add up to half a pet. Yeah. You know, you should have to have eight birds before it counts as one pet entity.

Sure. Because a cat could just haul through those pretty quick, I reckon. Yeah. This survey was done by an Australian pet company, Pet Culture, and they said that 81% of pet owners felt that they needed pet-ternity leave and that they should be provided that by their workplace. Two days of paid leave to either look after your pet

when you get a puppy or whatever initially or when your pet gets sick. You might need to look after them for the day, take them to the vet, surgery, whatever. You should be able to get paid leave to take care of your pet. 81% of people feel like that. Two thirds of people in Australia. 81% of people feel like that. Two-thirds of people in Australia...

81% of people want a day off, right? Yeah, who wouldn't? Two-thirds of people who own pets in Australia say they consider them a family member. I thought that was quite low. Two-thirds? Two-thirds. That's less than the people who want the day off.

You can't be like, I want a day off, but I definitely don't consider this animal a member of the family. That's crazy. Yeah, but you know when you've had a pet... As I said, the old lady down the road, sick, I need to take a day off. Is she family?

I don't consider her family, no. No, but that's because, you know, when you first get a pet, you're all like, oh my God, but then like you, you've got annoying pets. You grow to hate them, don't you? Well, hate's a strong word. They do piss me off a fair bit.

But you'd still consider them family members, right? Yeah. All of them. Except the chickens. Again, they're not big enough. See, to me, the chickens are more of a family member than the dog or the cat. They're giving you omelettes. They give us eggs. They're working hard for the family.

I did try to cuddle one over the weekend. And it flapped. And it didn't want to be held. Not good cuddles. Flapped ferociously. Yeah, right. But like, isn't there some kind of study like you're a more compassionate person or something if you've got like a pet at home or...

Doesn't it make you a better person? Good for the soul. Good for the soul. Makes you more relaxed. Brings your blood pressure down when you pet them and stuff like that. So it's good for the workplace if you've got a pet. Yeah. Or should I bring one of the cows in?

Bring a pet to work day, but they didn't specify what kind of pet. I'm like, oh, you're going to regret this. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. From the unsightly ZM Think tank, this is the top six. A grim new report. Good morning.

A grim new report has outlined that New Zealand works longer but lacks productivity. 2.3 hours more a week than people in other OECD countries but produce 20% less. Huh. But you know when people go, I've never done the go and work in London OE thing, but everybody always says, oh, they love us New Zealanders

because we work so hard. No, we work longer. So it looks like we're working hard. Yeah. And I think we're really good at looking busy. I think we're a nation

that thrives at looking busy and telling people we're busy. So busy. So the biggest driver of economic growth in New Zealand is just more people working, not people working smarter. Oh. This is why you always hire lazy people.

They find the quickest way to do something and then spend 2.3 hours extra a week sitting around doing not much. I've always said that. Yeah. So what are the top six things that we're doing in those extra 2.3 hours of work that we're doing in those extra 2.3 hours of work that we're doing every week? Number six, pooping.

New Zealanders love pooping on somebody else's dime. It doesn't appeal to me spending a long time in our toilet block. But we're also done, we're out of here by pooping o'clock. But you wouldn't nest at work though. Some people do. So you get a good game of whatever you're playing on your mobile phone at the time

Well I've gone into the bathroom sometimes And you know there's a sensor light It's been dark and I've turned it on And then I've heard someone in there You're playing games on your phone in work time And I admire that I've been in the work toilets when the sensors have gone Of course you have

It's like whoo been in here That's my indicator that it's time to get back. Alright, people are going to report you missing. It's like 15 minutes, isn't it? Nah, it's not that long.

I think it's shorter than that because we're an energy efficient building. Oh, okay. So I think, it's even like out in the office here, they switch off if there's no activity

for like five or 10 minutes. Number five on the list of the top six things we do with our extra 2.3 hours of work a week are scrolling the gram or the tock. Yeah. A lot of tock scrolling. Can you go, this is going to sound real

geriatric, but you can go on TikTok on a desktop, right? I never have, I guess so. Yeah. You can. Yeah. Thank you, Carwin. At the social media desk. Thank you for that disapproving 20-something nod.

Yeah, grandad, you can go and check on a desktop. Yeesh. Number four on the list of the top six things we do with our extra 2.3 hours of work a week. We are at the moment trying to work out if we're choogy or not. This is a sore spot for Megan, isn't it?

Madame Chuggy. Look, I did it straight in my hair today because it's chuggy. It looks nice with a bit of a wave in it. Thanks. But wavy hair's chuggy, eh? There's no winning. What's my hair supposed to be then? Shave it off.

Nah, but that's chuggy too. Is it? Megan's just, whatever she does, it's chuggy. It's chuggy. Number three on the list of the top six things we do with our extra 2.3 hours of work a week, Googling what to have for dinner. Yeah. Yeah.

Always like. Do you know there's that website where you put in what ingredients you've got and it will tell you what you can make for dinner. So good. I knew that was a thing for cocktails. I didn't know that was a thing for like. For dinner. That's great. I always do that

for cocktails. I'm like, okay, I've got gin. You can literally type in what cocktails can I make with in Google and it'll be like

gin and... I had to ask Vaughn about jalapenos yesterday at the supermarket when I was doing dinner. Yeah, they're an entry level entry level pepper.

Because this recipe needed jalapenos but I didn't know how hot they were. No, entry level stuff. Yeah, okay're an entry-level pepper. Because this recipe needed jalapenos, but I didn't know how hot they were. No, entry-level stuff. Yeah, they're pretty hot. So I got worried. Did you take the seeds out? No. You left the seeds in?

It was a bit spicy. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good. I put three in there. It was a bit spicy. It was a bit spicy. Number two on the list of the top six things we do with our extra 2.3 hours of work a week are Facebook stalking someone our friends

mentioned in passing. Yes. Who's that? Time for our stalk. When they're not on Facebook you're like to the gram. Yeah.

And if they're not on there it's to LinkedIn. And then you click on their profile and it turns out they've got one of their premium accounts on LinkedIn

so they know you're looking. And number one on the list of the top six things we do with our extra 2.3 hours of work a week. Not right in the top six because you were mucking around, talking about something off air,

then running out of time for a number one. I knew when I started talking you hadn't finished because you were like, you had this panicked look in your face. Oopsy-daisy. But that's the thing, we work longer, but our productivity's down. Yeah. That's still got it all done

Yeah That's 100% productivity Hit Marked Done And loaded That is today's top six ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan

The podcast Someone has anonymously Shared on Mumsnet That she is with a guy He works 40 hours a week He lives by himself But he still relies on his mum to do his laundry.

So he's living at home but dating this woman so it's obviously early stages. Lives by himself. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So mum's going round to his house and is doing washing. Wow. She also adds that he is physically and mentally capable of doing

it himself. And so she's put off now and she's thinking of ending the relationship when she found out that he gets his mum to do his washing. The key to your mum doing your washing is you do your own washing all the time. But there's a special treat when you go to your parents. Your mum does your washing. And your whites are whiter and your colours are brighter. I know, and you put it on and you're like... And it smells nice because they've got, like, fabric softener

and you're like, ooh-la-la, mum. Yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So if you'd lived by yourself and your mum offered to do this or just did it, would you complain? How close do I live? She lives close. She'll just come around and do it.

I feel like you wouldn't. I'm pretty sure my mum still goes around and does my brother's washing every now and then. They don't live that close. I don't. Nah. When I was younger, I did. But that's because our flat washing machine,

like every now and then, we'd have a good chew on the clothes. And it'd be like. Tisha gets stuck under that agitated bit and it's like. chew on the clothes. And it'll be like, ngung, ngung, ngung, ngung, ngung, ngung, ngung. T-shirt gets stuck under that agitated bit and it's like, ngung, ngung, ngung, ngung, ngung. It'll have a hole in it. Yeah.

But no, I don't think so. Because I take my washing pretty seriously. I, you know, do a socks and undies load. T-shirts load. Yeah, you like to break it down. Yeah, I do. Break it down. And then your whites have to be by themselves, of course.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we give them sass. But And then your whites have to be by themselves, of course. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we give them sass, but like I've always said, if I lived close to my parents, I would absolutely sponge in every possible way. They'd be filling up your car every week. Dinner, petrol, washing, like whatever I could get. Right. You'd be lined up for it. Yeah.

Lined up for a handout. Is that a deal breaker, though? Would it put you off if you started dating a guy and he's like, mum does everything for me? No, exactly. Because then when you go out with them, are you going to end up replacing mum and they're going to expect you to do everything?

Also, mum's not going to like you because you're stepping on her territory. Yeah, you're stealing her. Stealing a little man. Red flags. Yeah, a lot of red flags there. But would love to know what your parents still do for you as a grown-ass adult.

And hey, no judgment here, because I just said that I would absolutely sponge. But what do your parents still do for you? Do they fill up your car with petrol? Do they come around and do your washing? Do they clean your place? My parents can't sit still. So if they're at our house, they'll start doing things.

But then mum's like, I don't want to, you know, I'm just going to clean a window. I don't want to, you know, make Sade think that I don't think her house is clean. Sade's like, knock yourself out. Doodle. Doodle. We've got a big hairy dog that loves to jump on the windows.

You knock yourself out, Christine. Clean all the windows. All right. So maybe you've been in a situation where you've started dating someone or you're with someone and they are a bit of a mummy's boy and they get everything done for them. But yeah, 0800-DARLS-AT-M. You can text 9696.

What do your parents still do for you? Give us a call or a text. A guy lives by himself, but he still gets his mum to come over and do his washing. Now, someone who's dating him is like, I think this is a red flag, it's a deal breaker, I think I'm out. I think if you're asking the internet if you should keep dating your boyfriend, it's probably...

You already know. You already know? Yeah. One foot's out the door. Yeah. Yeah. So we want to know what your parents still do for you as an adult. Nikki, what do your parents still do for you?

So I'm still living at home And my mum doesn't let me do my washings Because I do it wrong How do you do it wrong? Well, I just chuck everything all together But she likes to separate it and stuff Oh yeah, you're a monster, Nikki I feel like you're living by my mantra

Don't get good at what you don't want to do You're like, oh, I suck at it, mum Yeah, that's exactly right Do it wrong all the time And you never have to do it. No, it's 100% because you chuck it all in the washing machine and then it gets lopsided and when it gets to the spin, it goes ba-doo, ba-doo, ba-doo, ba-doo, ba-doo.

Ba-da-da-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da-da-da. And Mum has to sort it out at that stage anyway, so she's just eliminating that and she's just, leave it, don't touch it. Yeah, does she help you out with anything else or is it just the washing?

Yeah, she still buys my regos for my car. Oh, that's a good one because they're expensive. Nikki, just hold on to that for as long as you can. Yeah, I will. Are you an only child, Nikki? No, I have two sisters. Oh, wow. And is everybody getting this sort of special treatment?

No, I'm still the only one living at home. What about the regos? The sisters getting the rego purchased? Yes. Get mum to buy you a new phone. I need to know if the sisters are getting the rego too. They should be getting the cash equivalent. It sounds like the sisters don't know maybe.

I'd be demanding a cash equivalent. Chantel, what does mum still do for you? I'm 30 and my mum still makes my doctor's appointments for me. That's good stuff too. So if you're feeling sick, you're like, okay, well I could just ring the doctors myself, but I'll ring mum first. Yeah.

Do you get your mum to make lots of important calls for you? Yeah. Yeah. I don't like talking on the phone. No, neither do I. That's not what your phone's for. It's for text messaging. Exactly.

And checking Facebook. It is weird though, when I left home, I never remember my parents telling me, and if you need a doctor, this is how you go about getting one. Like, because I was moving cities as well.

We'd always go to the same doctor forever and ever. Yeah. And then when I was studying, I was sick one day and I remember I'm like, what happens now? Should I just die? Because I know you call the doctor and I'm like, what? What?

Yeah. The one closest to you. Do you think the medical receptionist is like, why are you making an appointment for a 30-year-old woman? Yeah, probably. She probably thinks I'm crazy. I bet they see it all the time and they think it's equally pathetic every time. Or cute. Or cute. Whichever one.

Thanks, you call Chantal some text messages. Someone said my parents still buy my road user charges, get my warrants and buy me takeaways every Friday. I'm 30 years old. Oh, okay. That's pretty cute. Yeah. I'm 23, still living at home. And yeah, I'm pretty much completely dependent on my parents entirely.

I'm worse now than I was at school. I could see you being an absolute pushover for your girls. Yeah, absolutely. With rules. No. I'll get them stuff they... But Dad... Yeah, totally. But then there's gotta be you know, if I don't like the boy they're saying

he's gone. Boy or girl, whatever. You're saying, oh well I'll pay for your war and fitness but only if you dump you'd lose a boyfriend. Yeah, that works all the time, right? I think that's how girls work, hey Megan? Yeah, totally. Someone said my parents still take my dick of a brother's side in every argument so that's not really helping you out.

No. My parents have always done my registration and services on my car, but now I have to do it and I don't know. My car hasn't had a registration since November last year and the service cost me a grand when I thought it would be $100. And then you go there and you cry

and you're like, I don't know, Dad. Yeah. And then he pays it. Imagine getting pulled over in the police and like, why don't you have a warrant of fitness? You're like, I wonder if no one here would do it. Someone said, my dad still takes my car for a warrant of fitness and I get his car for the whole week when he takes it to get a warrant.

Oh, my God. Ridiculous. Jeshuan, what do your parents still do for you? So it's for my wife. Well, yeah, kind of what my wife does to my parents, to her parents. When we first got married for about the first year, she would go back to her parents' house for a shower and bath. What? Why?

For hot water? To save on hot water? What's the deal? Yeah, the hot water was maybe hotter or the pressure on the shower was better. I don't know. But she always preferred there, so that's what she did. It's died down now. So now she only goes back there for a bath. What? How old are you guys? How long have you been married now?

We've been married about a year and a half. We're only 22. Does that make you feel like you're not providing for your woman, that she's going to leave you for a man with a bit of pressure and hot water? Yeah, well, at the start I was a bit concerned, but now I've kind of just, you know, I'm happy about it because it saves me power. That's true.

Yes. Use the period's power. Hey, thanks for your call. Ask some more text messages. I'm 22. I have a full-time job. Mum still fills up my car and pays for it. Oh, yeah.

I don't pay rent or board. Yeah, no. Yep, that's good. That's some good stuff. That's healthy. That's't pay rent or board. Yeah, no. Yep, that's good. That's some good stuff. That's healthy. That's a healthy lesson in independence. I'm 33 this year, and I've never paid for a car, a warrant, or serviced. Whoa.

Yeah. I'm about to purchase my first car myself this year, as we're about to have our first child. That's the other thing. Lots of people, somebody else said, I'm 30, and my mum still makes my doctor's appointments for me but I'm pregnant now so I'm probably going to have to

start looking into doing that for myself. Yes. Yeah. You've got to raise wolves. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

What are these being raised? These are humans. Useless baby humans. Yeah. You want to be raising wolves to survive by themselves in the wild, wild. They are surviving. They're getting money out of their parents.

Nourished at the rich teat for far beyond. What is expected? My husband's parents pay for all of our insurances. That's multiple insurances. Yeah. My mum will cook a whole lot of meals and then freezes them and then drops off a whole lot of frozen meals for me to eat the following week. And some of these parents just love providing for their kids.

So who are you to begrudge them of that? Also, the parent dropping off frozen meal is totally worried their kid's getting scurvy. Like, they'll just eat nothing but like those yummy little smiley face French fries things that you buy and you like cook on the oven tray. Those are yummy, but you'll get scurvy. Flesh, fauna, Megan, the podcast, ZM. There is currently a state of emergency for the entire Canterbury region. Rivers higher than they've ever been on record.

And some measuring technology, the things that measure how much water is flowing down the river, destroyed. That's how much water is going down some of these rivers. For more information on this civil defence emergency in Canterbury, we're joined by the South Island Head of News for the New Zealand Herald, Hamish Clark. Hello.

Hey, boys. Hey, Megan. How are you? Hi, Hamish. Very good, Hamish. Now, I just looked at the weather reports for Christchurch today there in Canterbury. There is not really an end in sight today.

There's rain forecasts right throughout the day. It's peddling down. I thought it would have stopped, but it's just keeping on going. And it's got cold too. Right. Is that silver lining? Is that good for ski fields? I'd say yes, but maybe they've got too much rain up there.

I'm not too sure. I think they're a bit saturated up there. Right, right. Probably the last thing on people's minds as well, the weekend skiing when people are evacuating homes. Good question there. Any possibility of anything positive to come out of this? So what's the latest that you've heard from local emergency services

and civil defence this morning? Well, look, there's three bridges that have been washed away in the Ashburton district, which is no good. I've actually got one of our cameramen down there, George Hurd, is in Hinds, and he's trapped. He can't get... Do you know where Hinds is? It's just about 20 minutes south of Ashburton, and that road is blocked, and he can't get across.

There's 300 homes have been evacuated. Most of those are just north of Christchurch, Waimakariri, and the rivers are just chucking it down. It looks like brown chocolate full of logs rolling under those bridges. Wow. The bridges, this is complete ignorance on the side of myself and civil engineering.

Any of these bridges, especially these main ones, are they in danger of being damaged so that they'll be out of commission for a while? Because the videos have seen the amount of water coming down there and as you say now, logs and everything else has been washed downstream. Like torpedoes. Three have failed everything else that's been washed downstream, like being hit by torpedoes.

Yeah, well, three have failed, but that Ashburton Bridge, you might have seen that huge amount of water. The officials said that they could withstand even more water, which was amazing. But they're worried about the stock banks, you know, the banks on the side of the river that keep the water from flowing out into the paddocks.

So are they, because I'm just looking at road closures, that Heinz Bridge is obviously closed, State Highway 1. Are they just saying that people stay home today? Like don't... Pretty much. I mean, they could do some gardening, couldn't they? It'd be nice and soft. It'd be nice and soft.

It's crazy, isn't it? Yeah, so closed schools, they want people to keep off the roads. There are roads that are washed out. There's lots of water rising. And the one thing that I didn't realise until I had to deal with floods is that the flood water keeps on rising. Even though the rain stops, the water rises. So all the rain that falls in the foothills near the mountains

all has to flow out to sea. So that just keeps building up and building up, and then it flows out towards Ashbury and out towards Hines. Prior to this, there was like a record length drought in a lot of Canterbury areas. So dry ground doesn't take well to being inundated with water.

Is there any talk about slips or damage to land? Yeah, there are road slips. There are quite a few puddles in the paddocks. Sure. And, you know, there are houses that are surrounded by water, especially like down Winchester. My wet weather gear is not coping too well either. I'm wet on the inside and dry on the outside at the moment.

Right, that's not how that's supposed to work at all. No, I failed from yesterday. Right. Right, that's not how that's supposed to work at all. No, I failed from yesterday. Right. Wow, okay. So going forward, it's just don't approach anybody of water. Stay home.

Stay home if you can. Yeah. Yeah, stay home. Listen to you guys. Yeah. That'll keep me entertained. Good man. That's the plug for the station.

Yeah. That's company synergy there. Hamish Clark from the New Zealand Herald. That's company synergy. Thanks so much for the chat this morning, Hamish. from the New Zealand Herald. That's company synergy. Thanks so much for the chat this morning, Hamish. Stay safe. Cheers, guys.

Thanks. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It is this coming weekend, Labor Weekend. It's a long weekend. Monday off. Yeah, next Monday off. So this Friday, as tradition dictates, dictates. What?

Dictates. Dictates. Dictates. Don't take that. I don't want to say it now. Dictates. That's all I said. No, you said dictates. No, I definitely said like dictators. Like potatoes. Yeah, okay, mate.

Anyway, tradition. I'm not even going to say the word. Dictates. Nope. We will do the Long Weekend Group Tutor. Please join us on Friday. It's a spicy edition this time. Are we going to mention this?

I reckon we... What? No? No. Should we say? Oh, yes. For every successful Long Weekend Group Tutor, we have... This came to us just in the moment,

and we were like, let's pounce on this. People need this. An in-car spice rack. Yes. It's got chicken salt in there. Thanks to Master Foods, they've been like, here, have some spices. Five different sorts. What have we got in there?

Garlic and herb, salt. Yeah, we've got chicken salt, obviously. Yep, chicken salt. Chili flakes. Fry sprinkles. Yep. And cinnamon sugar for the desserts. Yep. Chicken salt. Chili flakes. Yep. Fries, sprinkles. Yep. And cinnamon sugar for the desserts. Something there for pudding.

So this will clip into your card or on your glove box or dashboard. So when you go through the drive-thru, you've got the seasonings. You've got an assault. You've got the seasonings. So you can be like, yeah, I want an extra chicken salt. I've got a light on that. And then you just hang your chips out the window, put your own chicken salt. Yes.

Give it a shake. Bring it back into the car. Pop it back into the spice rack. So every successful Long Weekend Group Tudor on Friday will win a Fletch Warner Megan in-car spice rack. And this, I believe, is the first time we've had a prize for the Long Weekend Group Tudor. And it's over 10 years of existence. Because we don't like to encourage faking. No.

Certainly no faking. Which is why we've never done prizes before. And that's what we'll also be keeping an eye out for the fakes. We hear any fakes, you'll be hearing those. All right, 21 minutes away from eight. My mum is a special lady. If I turn into like a kooky old woman, I think it's probably because of her. Yeah.

What were you going to say? I'm already there. Getting there. I was going to say hereditary mental illness. And she has sent me, she sent me and this happens often, like, and it's gotten worse. She sends me

reports from her house as my brother's dog. So she will send me texts like it's my brother's dog's texting me. So the latest is a picture of her dog, it's my brother's dogs texting me. So the latest is a picture of her dog, well, my brother's dog with a jacket on and said,

howdy, Leo, my dog. Granny got me a new jacket, then the other one kept falling off because I have a fat guts. It's a shitty day, so I can't go outside. I hope you're keeping warm. And it always ends with woof. Oh, my God. She needs a hobby.

I was going to say she needs more grandchildren, but you've just given her one, but she's at a distance. And she constantly, I send her pictures of Bashan all the time and she's like, and where's Leo? And what's Leo doing? I'm like, that's the dog. She likes the dog more. That's the dog. That's weird from a granny.

But I did share it on my gram and there's a lot of people who also, their parents do this as well. I had a lot of response from that as opposed to my baby as well. Right. Everyone's parents and grandparents are messaging as animals. I think my dad messaged me as our dog when our dog stayed at their place before we had children. Like if we went overseas and our dog went at their place before we had children. Like if we went overseas and our dog went to their place,

he'd be like, I'm cold on the farm. Creative writing is not really a strong point. And to be honest, that text took him probably three hours to compose. And he took a photo, guys. That's pretty amazing. Yeah, that's good from him. Yeah, he's advanced in his time so he can do better now. But yeah, they

are they bored? Do they need something to do? My parents? No, yeah, just older people that engage in that sort of stuff. Yeah, I think so. She needs a creative outlet. She's thought about a night pass. Dad's at home a lot more too, so she's like trying to escape him. Right. Did you not comment on news stories online?

No, I don't think we want to encourage our boomers to do that. I think we're trying to like deter them. I think we should deter our boomers from sharing things, like real dumb things about how good it was in their day, you know, when people died of polio and stuff and how they used to let their kids play out in the dark when they didn't know where their kids were and it raised better children,

but also child abduction rates were through the roof back then. And there were way more kids with broken bones and stuff because they'd ride their bike in the dark and just like kank it off the pavement. We need to probably tell them to wind that in. Yeah. Yeah. So just maybe just a kind reminder to the boomers in your life.

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Nero, your gold medalist. Where's my medal? Do you like my post-it note? Would you like some post-it notes for this? Yeah, I could do post-it notes. I stole those from somebody's desk.

Usually I just write on the back of a piece of paper, but there we go. I could write the ranking on here, gold, silver, bronze, and then write the person's name on here. Oh, yeah, because then we can move around anything. Yeah, and then I can put it on my fingers like this. I'll be like, which one do you guys want to be got? This is great. This is great.

For us, for people listening, absolutely nothing. Nothing for you. It's just a little peek behind the curtain here. Sometimes we've got to look after ourselves. Okay. Okay? Right, so where's my medal? We celebrate those small achievements in life.

The things that you think, you know, I didn't get enough praise for that. Why wasn't I applauded for the minimal effort I put in? Good morning, Lucy. Hi, guys. How are you going? Good, good. Now, why do you deserve a medal? Well, I'm not here to brag, Lucy. Hi, guys. How are you going? Good, good. Now, why do you deserve a medal? Well, I'm not here to brag, guys,

but last week I was probably one of the only people in New Zealand to not post about the Blood Moon on any social media platforms. Oh, wow. But did you see the Blood Moon or take a photo of it? I did. I did. I did. I had my three children tucked up warm in their bed. I thought, you know, being a good mum, I'll go out.

I pulled my iPhone 7 out. My iPhone 7 laughed at me and was like, we can't do this. No, iPhone 7 was like, hee hee hee. No. So it wasn't the fact that, I mean, if you'd taken a good photo, would you have put it up? Absolutely not, because I'm one of those haters. Yeah, right.

I don't want to see what you need for tea. I don't want to see all that kind of stuff. You're just enjoying it in the moment, Lucy. I'm that really positive person. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're fun. You're good.

I feel like you'd fit in well around here. All right, Lucy. She might be there strolling around. The camel's back, though. If you have too many cynics in one room, it can turn into a really depressing spiral pretty quick. Lucy, wait there. We'll have a medal ceremony in just a moment.

Nikki, why do you deserve a medal? Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. I finally put the key on the keyhole. Where do you normally put it? My husband is so fed up because we have a keyless car. Oh, yeah?

And it's always somewhere in the nappy bag. So if the car starts, I'm good. Gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha. My wife did yesterday in our car. I'm like, where's the key? She's like, somewhere in this car. Just push the button if it starts.

It's in the car. We're good to go. I made him search for 15 minutes the other day because the key was not's like, somewhere in this car. Just push the button if it starts. It's in the car. We're good to go. I made him search for 15 minutes the other day because the key was not in the nappy bag and I was determined

he had that key. It was in the front pack in the other car and it was me. Ah, yeah, gotcha. So you've now put it on.

So you finally put it on a hook. Yeah, right. Yeah. So you know if you put it on the hook all the time this won't happen. Oh, okay, husband. You sound like a husband, yeah. But then I'll get in all the time, this won't happen. Oh, okay, husband.

You sound like a husband, yeah. But then I'll get in the car and the car won't start. Will start or won't start? Won't start because it's still on the hook. It's not in the nappy bag. Needs to be in the bag. All right, okay, Nikki, wait there. We'll vote in just a sec.

Charlotte, why do you deserve a medal? So I'm toilet training my almost three-year-old and I didn't scream, cry or punch anything when he shat on the carpet four times. Four times? Why did you rub his nose in it, don't you? You rubbed

your nose in it. It's a dog. You rubbed your nose in it and then you spray the carpet with that stuff to neutralise it because once they can smell The shit on the carpet They think it's alright To do it again Yeah Oh my god

When you come in the cats It's a fun time So That's four poops Was it every poop That he did over the week He was on the carpet? No

Because there's the odd time When he'll actually Go to the toilet And then he'll come Running out And be like Mama I did poos On the photo park

Because he gets a sticker. So he gets all excited. But there's the odd time where he's in the lounge playing with toys and he's just like crouched down and then he comes out

and goes, Mama, I did poos in the lounge. Oh no. What a no sticker. Did he drop his pants or did he just sneak out the bottom of the pants? No,

usually when he's at home, I've got a rule where we don't have to wear pants at home, but if we leave the house, we have to put pants on. Is that a rule for everyone? Or... Right, okay, so that just slipped out while he was...

That happens to the best of us. I think you need a pants rule until he's fully trained. Alright, Charlotte, wait there. It is now time for our medal ceremony. What do you guys reckon? I'm just using the post-it notes that Fletch had. What do you reckon of this order?

This post-it note system is fun. Happy? Yes, I'm happy. Happy? Happy. Today's bronze medal winner for finally hanging your keys up on the key hook, a hook designated for key or key-za, Nikki, congratulations. A phenomenal effort.

Congratulations. But as you say, if they're in the nappy bag and it works for you, then that works for everybody, doesn't it? Until it doesn't work and then it's everybody else's problem apart from your own. Silver medal this week. For services to not only not yelling, but also not rubbing anybody's nose in it. After poos was found on the carpet four times this weekend.

Best of luck going forward with the toilet training. Congratulations on your super medal to Charlotte. Yay! Congratulations. Well, that leaves our winner. Yes. It's nice to give a cynic an award.

Because often they don't win them, but then when they don't win them, they say they didn't care about them in the first place anyway. No, I don't win them but then when they don't win them they say they didn't care about them in the first place anyway. No, I don't care about awards until I win one. Coming from two cynics. Yeah.

And then you win it and you can't be too cool about it because you've said it for years and it doesn't matter to you. But that's right. Everybody knows. She did not

put up a photo of the blood moon on socials even though she did take a photo of it with her iPhone 7, but it turned out junk. But that doesn't matter. Pretty much anybody who took a photo on their phone, it turned out junk.

Congratulations to Lucy. Yay! Congratulations. Yes! Well done. The winner of today's gold medal next on the show, there's a black box behind Megan. It says, no peeking. Open me at eight.

We're going to do that next. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. There's a black box. Well, I don't know what colour the box is, but the sheet that's over the box in studio is black. It says, no peeking. Open me at eight. If you've just joined the show, that's been there for a while.

That wasn't there on Friday, was it? No. No, the box wasn't. It's appeared over the weekend. There's cables. Cables taped down to the floor. This isn't taped down. This is a Velcro material. I'm very impressed. This is high-end cable hiding. But we don't know what's

happening. That could be a clue to an outside party because we're not that flash around here. Velcro taped downs. Do you think a contractor? There's been a contractor around. I don because we're not that flash around here. Oh, do you think? Velcro tape downs. Do you think a contractor? Who's been a contractor, Ryan? I don't know. Who's been a contractor? So, I guess what...

Do we have a... Because we don't know what's going on. And it's not one of those radio, we don't know what's going on. We don't know what's going on. You can hear it in Fletcher's voice. He doesn't like that he doesn't know what's going on. He's a control freak. Very pissed off behind the scenes

actually is there like a beard no beard is there what a musical musical background there's no intro i've been doing this cold now that the for you lifting them and no music in the background follow the first instruction open me at eight now you know what's going on but you haven't told us i feel like a secret agent. Yeah, aren't you just? Yeah. So what is happening here? I just opened it.

This is a big anti-climates. Oh, me too. There's tape at the back. Okay, so Megan's going behind the box and unclipping. There's a clip or a tape. The box is so big, Megan, you're completely hidden behind it. I don't think that means the box is that big. No, but I meant tall. Is there a person in there?

I'm very sure. Imagine if there's a little person in there. Over five something. Okay. Oh my God. Megan's getting the blanket. It was duct taped on. Okay. Jumping. Okay. The sheet is coming off now., 2, 1

Oh It's a safe So it's a safe So that round thing you had was like a Just spin on it Yes It's got a screen It says hello world

And it's got a Yale A Yale lock on it Yes like one of those Push the Yale lock See what it Does it light up Megan? Touch the Yale lock Oh It says Yes, like one of those. Push the Yale lock. See what it, does it light up, Megan? Touch the Yale lock. Oh, it says turn on Guess Mike 3.

Oh, this is exciting. Okay, I've turned it on. Hello. Hello. Hi. Guess Mike 3 is on. Box. Hi, Box.

What's your name? Guess Mike 3 is not working, Box. It would be very unlike us. I mean, if I knew this was happening, I could have tested it. Fletch. Press next. Okay. Hello, new friends.

I am the box. I come from a long line of boxes. My father was a box. My father was a box. My mother was a box. But I'm not sure what I am doing here today. Did someone put me here? Or have I always been here? But you've never noticed me.

Just like my father. Enough of that. Let's set some boundaries or safe words. On my front is a keypad. The code is four digits long. After you enter your code, please press the tick button. I want you inside me.

You can keep what you find and I'll help you along the way, if you play nicely. It's your job to get inside me. That's it. Now, before we start, repeat after me. Oh, what's in the box? Oh, what's in the box? Oh, what's in the box? Away you go. Wait, so we can just put codes in?

Just try a code. Okay. What are you going to try? She's trying her pin. That's why she's covering it. Hey! Come on. I don't think it's working.

Box, you light up. Yale lock's not working. Box. Box. Box. Oh, the box is typing. Oh, so that much. How are they getting a typey screen working like that?

Push the Yale. Oh, the thing at the top, Megan, you've got to push the Yale button. Ah, there we go. Now it's got a lot of... The box is talking to us. And you can hear it typing because that's what's on Kiss Mic 3. Okay, so you've got the keypad now, Megan. Oh, it's typing again.

That didn't work. That code. That code didn't work. The box is typing. So what do we do? Just keep... It's not that hard. It's a sassy bitch, isn't it?

Or try... What about the pin number for Ross's credit card? Did it work? Nah. Nah. That was just 1-1-1-1. Oh, okay, right. Did you try 1-2-3-4?

Oh, Yale. One. No, shh. It won't leave me Would you like a clue? Yeah, we would like a clue We would like a clue 1, 2, 3

Yale, hit us with a clue I think I've tried too many times now It's flashing Your microphone sits upon it Desk Desk Desk But you need like the phone

What? Who knows what D is is that two yeah no d is three d is three okay three box i think we've entered the code wrong too many times because the yale thing's just flashing now i don't need to press tip okay you're not just gonna get into it now it's not gonna be that easy. There might be something different in there all the time. Oh my God, this is like that time we went to that lock room and I just sulked on the couch the whole time. Literally under your microphone.

Literally under your microphone. What? Is it under yours, Megan? Wait, have you got the text machine open? Is someone helping us? Look under your microphone. I did. There's nothing there. Under the desk. What? Is it under yours, Megan? Wait, have you got the text machine open? Is someone helping us? We need to listen. Look under your microphone. I'm here.

There's nothing there. Under the desk. Under the desk. What? Your microphone. Well, this is not. I found a clue. What does it say?

It is like an escape room. Okay, this is. I like this a lot. Because I love escape rooms. You love escape rooms. I hate escape rooms because I had a salt because I'm not very good at the cryptic clues. What is that? The TV's on the wall.

That one. It's a picture of our face. Look, is there another clue somewhere around that television? There's a sticker on the side with a number. There, look, Megan. Two, three, seven, five. I don't know if that... The box is typing.

2375. I'm going to try 2375. The box is typing, though. No. It didn't work. It didn't work. Okay, I'm sulking. Fletcher's back to sulking.

Do you have a remote? Yeah, we've got a remote. Where's the remote? Here, here's the remote. There's something in there! That TV currently has our faces on it. Well, what do you do with the remote? What if I press source?

What's going to be in the box? You are the worst person to do an escape room. Oh, I hate, you know, I... Is that door locked? They're going to let us out of here, eh? Well, they better. I've got the physio. It's too late.

I pressed source. I pressed source. You didn't work quick enough Vox you said push up but I didn't I already pressed source What I have to do now to get it back

onto that thing Oh god I don't know This is why they don't let me touch it I think you go back to home and then this is fantastic

and then player there you go and then press up once you're back in there. So you click on player. No, go up. And then go, oh, no. What have I done? I don't know.

You've messed it up. Sorry, box. Sorry, box. Promo over. I got a little haphazard. I got a little happy with the thing. Hey, I did it. Not available. Loading. did it. Not available.

Loading. Amateurs. Yeah. Oh, hold on. Okay, here we go. Okay, it's changed now. It's inverted. Oh, that's horrible.

Is there something written on Fletch's teeth? We look like x-rays. Yeah, it's like inverted the colour. Okay, so that's. No, I can't see anything. Nine. Nine in the background. Nine.

Nine. Oh, yeah, okay. Nine. We'll just go all nines. Nine, nine, nine, nine. Okay, I'll try that out. We're not going to get into the box now. Are there going to be snacks in there?

That would be pretty cool. Or is nine the first number in the four digit code? Nine's going to be the number. Oh, God. This is why I hate those. But don't tell Georgia or the others Or is nine the first number in the four digit code? Nine's going to be one of the numbers. This is why I hate those. But don't tell Georgia or the others that nine's the first number. Nine. Well, now what do we do?

Okay. Box. Cool box. What if there's a number with us and that's our number, nine, and then Georgia gets a couple of numbers and then Brie and Clint get a number and you've got to collect all the numbers. But are we working together or are we working individually? Because we want to get in the box, right?

Yeah, we're going home at 10. What's in the box? I don't want to tell them the number. Keep nine to yourself. Oh, the box is typing. Well, this is harder than I imagined. Keep guessing if you wish. Otherwise, another clue at 12.

Hopefully. See, told you. God, it's like you know how radio works. Only took 17 and a half years, but I figured out radio. Alright, well, now the box is still typing.

So wait. Hang on, I'll pause Arianna Grande. Hopefully the box has got something. Is that Michael Bublé sleeping? Sleeping. Oh no. I think it's just a picture of a man sleeping on the... How are they making the box talking? The box has gone back to sleep. Oh, right.

Okay. The box has gone back to sleep for now. Sweet. So nine. Remember nine. Okay. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM.

It's a long weekend ahead of us. Next Monday, it's Queen's birthday. And so join us Friday, the long weekend ahead of us next Monday. It's Queen's birthday, and so join us Friday, the long weekend group toot. We have announced the Fletch Warner Megan's in-car spice rack will be the prize for every person who successfully gets on air with the long weekend group toot. Master foods have come through.

We've got the little rack you put in your car, and we've got all the little, like the chicken salt, the fry sprinkle. Oh, it's good. Got the cinnamon sugar there for addition to your pudding, your soft serve perhaps. Yep, that's on this Friday. Last Friday I wasn't here, I had to get a colonoscopy.

We've got a family history of bowel cancer. My granddad had it and you get these little things called polyps and my mum's had those and my brother recently had one, colonoscopy done and he had them. So I was like, well, I better get this checked. Yeah. No symptoms or anything. Is it a good example you're setting for other people?

Oh, 100%. I think if you've got it in your family, this is the other thing. If you've got any symptoms, don't muck around with those. Like blood in the stool, that's not to be taken lightly. Yeah, people do that, don't they?

Could be a hemorrhoid. Could be bowel cancer. No, I'm just saying it could be nothing. You could go to the doctor. The doctor's like, nothing to worry about. Here's some anusol. And away you go. It could be beetroot too.

So write that B on your hand. It could be beetroot. Always put a little mark on your hand if you're having beetroot because that can be confusing. But no, I went in on Friday. So Thursday afternoon it started with this drink that flushes your system out. And everyone said, that's the worst part.

Yeah. And it tastes gross, but it didn't taste gross. It just tasted like cheap cordial from the 1980s. So I was taking it back to my childhood. Yum. I had to drink two litres in two hours. Oh, that's a lot. I sculled the first litre in five minutes.

Yeah. And then waited till the start of the second hour and drank the rest. And then my stomach was like. And I was like. You could have provided early sounds for dinosaur movies. It was party time. So the emptying of one's entire digestive tract is quite a lot. And despite drinking a load of water, the next morning when I woke up,

I felt like I'd been drinking, like I was just really dehydrated. Did you weigh yourself? Had you lost weight? Yeah. Really? How much? But it didn't feel good. No, no, no. Not at all. It wasn't like when you work hard, eating well and exercising all week and you weigh yourself and you've

lost weight. You're like, I earned this. I was like, I feel terrible. Yeah. Dehydrated. So I felt hungover the next morning. Had no energy. But then had my colonoscopy. Went in. Got in the little gown.

Sat in a waiting room. And can I say at this point. Sat in a waiting room in the gown. Yeah, in the gown. But I had the gown on and a dressing gown over top. And these little like disposable knickers that they cut off you. You have to put on there like these undies

and they were really tight. What's the point? Is it going to cut them off? Could they have given you the next size up? I don't know if there was there must have been the next size up.

Okay. But they assumed but it was good because I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and the package looked alright. You know what I'm saying? It was like if you saw an eel

smushed up against the side of a hinake. You know, an eel trap that's just up against the net and it's like... That's what it looked like. That's such a picture. But even a baby eel... Even a baby eel looks big

when it's smushed up against the side of a hinake. Right. So, yeah, I was sat in a waiting room and then they called me and I had a little thing put on my arm. They, again, said, wonderful veins. She said, if I miss that, there's something wrong with me.

And at this stage, I just want to take my hat off to the people that work in public hospitals and nursing staff, because some people were really rude to them. Like, some people are just going to the public hospitals, and they're so rude. Like, this medical professional isn't juggling an insane schedule and you're a member of the public that's there to receive your care. For free.

Yeah, yeah. You're getting as much as everybody else, but you are under the impression you deserve more. Yeah. I just think that's, have some patience. It's a stressful place, sure, but just keep calm. That's what my dad says. Have some patience like the hospital.

Like the hospital. Ba-ding-dum. Always says that. So I got the drip put in and they said, come with us, Mr. Smith. And I jumped up onto this, it looked like a dentist chair. But in full recline and they kind of explained to me. I had to sign a consent form

because I was about to be anally probed. Imagine getting to that part and then getting the consent form and being like, hold on, what? Oh, yeah, we need to go inside you. Why was this not mentioned? So I signed the consent form, and then they gave me this IV medication.

They pumped it into the thing I had in my arm. Yeah. And they said, there's two things in here. One's the painkiller, and one's going to make you feel a bit woozy and stuff, and it basically prohibits you making new memories. And I'm like, what? As I start to be like, whoa.

So I can't really remember a lot, but I do remember pain because the painkiller didn't work for me. How does the painkiller not work for you? I don't know. Are you resistant? What type of painkiller was it? So me. How does a painkiller not work for you? I don't know. Are you resistant? What type of painkiller was it? So I think it was fentanyl. Isn't that that drug everyone's like ODing on in the States?

So it's an opioid. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, but I had low-end fentanyl, and I've never had it before. So I don't know, but my brother, who's a pharmacist, I talked to him afterwards, and he's like, you might just have a thing where you metabolise it quicker. It just doesn't work for everyone.

So they need to do double next time. I don't think it works like that. So the painkiller didn't work but the one that made me all woozy and not be able to create new memories, which isn't that crazy that there's a drug out there that pretty much says to your brain, just don't take any notes. There won't be a test at the

end of this and your brain's like, okay, I'm just going to go over here. But I can remember pain because that fentanyl didn't work for me. So they had to like abandon the procedure. But had they like started it? Oh yeah, it was in me. Here's the other thing. I did not know this.

There's a metre 20 to go inside you. I think I was up to about the 40 centimetre mark. Amateur. I know. That's a rookie number A major 20 That blew my mind when they said that Basically we go up here

It's like nearly as tall as Megan Yeah Megan was inside me Jesus No, no, just like your head And maybe the top of your shoulders was in Whoa But in the form of a really thin pipe

Because it all just goes like. It goes, your colon goes in, up, and then it starts going around, and then it goes up again, and then it goes another corner, and it comes around, and it does basically a roundabout. How do they turn it?

So that's the idea is that it's super flexible. It gets to the corner, and they kind of give it a bit of a twist and push it around. Ouch. Do they have like a heavy duty squirty lube bottle? I can't remember too much about it, but I do remember feeling lube.

I do remember the initial lubrication. So what, halfway, 40 centimetres in, they're like, no. I must have been like, I can remember being like, ah. And they're like, can you feel that? And I was like, yep, I feel it. And it was just, because I've never had Fentanyl before. And this is a very rare occasion. I don't want to put anybody off

cause this is super important to go and get done if you've got a family history or whatever. Cause you heard from so many people being like, this is the easy part. They said the worst part

is the drink and then the five hours of continuous pooping afterwards. Yeah. But painkiller, that painkiller works for them. And I've never had it before. So I wasn't to know that it wouldn't work for me.

So they abandoned procedure and I'm like, I go and then I kind of come to in this room and they're like, take your time, get changed and I was just like, I was like, you know when you're really drunk and you're trying to get changed?

It was a bit like that. And then I had a ham and cheese sandwich. I know, that yeah uh and then i had a ham ham and cheese sandwich yeah i know you wouldn't want to send me a photo with his hand sandwich i was like that looks grim it was the best energy sandwich i've eaten for over a day and he was real bored he just wanted to chat no i was high as a kite i don't remember apparently i seen my other mates like a picture of my feet and like do my eyes look all right. Yeah. Because my pupils were big because of the drugs.

And then, yeah, yeah, Shadow came and got me. And then, yeah, I have to go back. But next time I go back, I'm under. Like totally under. Oh, wow. Totally general. So then I got home. That means a whole day we have to work again without you.

I know. And they don't do it because I asked if they did it on weekends. They don't do it on weekends. I said to my brother, I was like, oh, he's like, how did it go in our family chat? And I said, oh, it didn't work. And he's like, what happened? And I was like, oh, I could feel the pain. And he's like, oh, my God, did the anesthetic not work?

And I sent him the picture of what they gave me on the sheet. And he's like, wait a minute, you weren't completely under. I was like, no. He's like, oh, in Australia, they put you completely under. I hope they took you for dinner and a drink first. And I was like, oh, God. Yeah, so when I go back, Australia they put you completely under. I hope they took you for dinner and a drink first. And I was like, oh, God. Yeah, so when I go back, I have to be completely under. So I can't feel anything.

But, yeah, I can feel it now. It feels like I've been, like, punched in the guts. There's a bit of, like, sore. Oh, wow. Okay. But, again, not to put people off. Not to put people off because I tell you what would be more sore, having to have your bowel removed because you had bowel cancer and you'd ignored the symptoms.

Yeah. All right. Well, back to it one day. Yeah. We'll let you have the day off if you let us pick you up. And film it. Yeah, just so the next YouTube hit. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about signal crayfish. Okay. Signal crayfish. They are native to North America, but in Europe, I don't believe they're here in New Zealand. But signal crayfish, the female attracts the mate with urine.

Yeah. They wane to the water, and then the smell of that urine attracts a mate, and then when the mate arrives, he must face her in mortal combat to see if he is worthy of mating with her. So he's got to beat her in a fight. But not kill her. How do you know who wins? Well, if she wins, he'll be dead because she fights

for keeps. But he fights to submit. He's just got to stay alive long enough that she's like, okay, this guy's tough. Yeah, okay, tough guy. You can copulate with me. How they found this out is crazy, though. These scientists... Crazy.

Well, I'm not even going to... Crazy. They put male and female crayfish in a tank. They covered their eyes with tape, so they blindfolded them, literally like blind dating. Yeah. They put a fluorescent dye into the female's body, which accumulated in the bladder,

so every time she urinated, it would look like green. Oh, like a squid ink or something. Yeah, like squid ink. So that would go into the water, and then the male would immediately become interested and attracted, and he'd go over there, and then they would engage in a fight. And if she won the fight, the male knew that he had- Kisses.

What's that? They have kisses. No, they kiss afterwards She's not interested Okay So she gets really aggressive And plays ultra hard to get And then they fight

And like you said before He's pretty much just got to have the staying power Until she's like, yeah, you win Otherwise they will fight and she will end him But what if she dies? Do the females ever die or are they just super tough? Are they bigger? Not in this study. No, they're around about the same size.

They're around about the same size. You want to pick a fight with a big crayfish and he absolutely kills you and you're like, well that was a bad idea. Just wanted a pash. Pash and a bit of fun times. He's gone too far. But no, it didn't happen in any of these studies they did. Wow. But it's just attracting

because they want to have the strongest offspring. Yeah. So they don't want to mate with some weakling. Yeah. You know, every now and then you'll see a girl that's mated with a man and their child might be all right, but you can tell that guy's bringing not a lot to the party. Yeah, that's why Andrew and Mr. Toiwa had an arm wrestle

when they first met. Andrew and Mr. Toiwa, that's the same person. Oh, sorry, Andrew and Megan, yeah. Oh, why, we had an arm wrestle. Yeah first met. Andrew and Mr. Toyboy, that's the same person. Oh, sorry, Andrew and Megan. Oh, we had an arm wrestle. Yeah. And he overpowered me, so I'm like, you can undo it. Now we make babies. This also feels like a very Norwegian Viking thing to do, doesn't it?

Yeah. First, we must arm wrestle. If won, we may now bake the babies. So today's fact of the day is the signal crayfish plays very hard to get after attracting their mate with the smell of their urine. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Now, Megan, you've just had a baby.

I have. Vaughan, you've got two children. I do. This may come as a surprise, this study. It has found that one in five parents regret becoming parents. Oh, my God. And then admitted to it as well. And then admitted to it, exactly. And then admitted to it.

Exactly. In like a study. Wow. That's a hell of a thing to tell someone that you regret your child. Yeah. How bad? How many, can we get a percentage of people who have done something bad enough to warrant that?

It doesn't break down like the age that the kids were when these parents were asked. Right. Like whether they were like older parents and their kids were like adults now or whether they were new parents and they're like, I regret everything because I'm not sleeping. Yeah, right. I mean, it is a hell of a thing the first few weeks and you're like, what is this new life?

Some people that just have one kid, you feel like sometimes they're like, yeah, that's enough. Yeah. And I could completely understand that. That was traumatic. Yeah. And hard, yeah. But then there are some that have like 10.

You're like, well, they love it. They're on board. But then they're more likely to say regret because number seven might have been terrible. Like number seven might have grown up to burn a school down or something. Yeah, but that's on them. And they're like, I regret having that one specifically. The other nine, they're okay.

Yeah, right. They push my buttons, but they haven't burned a school down, have they? No. Right. I just can't believe people would even say that. Yeah. What if the kid is? Yeah. If they haven't burned down a school, they're probably going to go find some matches now. Be like, I'll teach you to say your goal. I'll give you a reason to

regret having me. I'm going to burn everything down. Yeah. I'd always be just worried if I was asked to do a survey or a study. That it's a trap. Yeah, I'd just be like, well, is this the government just getting info on me? It's anonymous. No one will be told.

Just write your name down at the top, though. Yeah, and then you learn it was your kid's school project on programming, coding, and they coded up this thing and they sent it around to everybody's parents in school. They hacked into the school email. They sent it to everybody's parents and they've got a list of every parent that regrets having their child, but then the thing that hurts them the most was their parents regretted having them.

Yeah. Once that's out of the bottle, well, it's a genie, baby. Once that is out of the bottle, there's no putting that back. You've got some Pandora's box. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Well, it's a genie, baby. Once that is out of the bottle, there's no putting that back. No. You've opened Pandora's box. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's a cute story and I like a story

about a creative headstone. Yeah. You know, in death, if you're going to have a plot, why have just another standard headstone? I'm getting one of those big buildings over me. What, like a whole,

what do they call those? Tombs? Yeah, tombs. But it's What, like a whole... What do they call those? Tombs? Yeah, tombs. But it's like it's a room. Who's paying for that? No, you know you see on the movies... He doesn't have any kids or anything. He doesn't have anybody to leave money to.

I'm assuming he's buying a huge plot. I'm buying a memorial to myself. I mean, you know in movies where they always stash the cash, they go into one of those secret big rooms in a cemetery and the seat or the tombstone underneath is the bags of money. Where the cash is. Are you going to hide bags of money? No, but I just want one of those buildings.

All about me. I'm definitely going to dig you up to get the money. Is there money? If you want. Is there going to be money in there? I'll leave some for you to find. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Cool. And clues. No, you leave clues on yours. I'll leave clues on mine. Megan, you're going to be probably the last one living. So you aren't allowed to solve the treasure. I'm not allowed to.

You're not allowed to. You've been privy to too much information. Well, this lady, Kay, when she passed away, she had her fudge recipe printed on the back of her tombstone. Because everyone loved her fudge, she'd always have some fudge in a container. What kind of fudge? So two squares of chocolate, two tablespoons of butter, melt on a low heat, then stir in one cup of milk, bring to the boil, three cups of sugar.

Jesus. No one's under the illusion that fudge is good for you. What was the first ingredient? Two squares of chocolate. You'd get two. Fudge isn't melting chocolate. Fudge is fudge. Yeah, I know, but she's adding, I guess, the two squares of chocolate.

For flavour. Yeah, instead of the cocoa. For flavour, right? Three cups of sugar, a tablespoon of vanilla, pinch of salt. Cook to the softball stage. Yeah, that's when you get a teaspoon and you drop it into a cup, and if it forms a ball You're ready You're talking to a guy

Who made fudge after school A lot A cup of water Yeah So you put a cup of cold water on And if you drop it in And it stays But if it goes

Flat onto the bottom It's not ready Because it has to Cook the sugar I love Russian fudge I love Russian fudge That's my favourite fudge Cool

And not a creamy one Cool on a marble slab? I don't know. You just put it in a tray. Cool and beat and eat. Yeah. So that's her recipe. I kind of want to try that recipe. Yeah, do it. It's good enough to be on a tombstone. Yeah, I know.

It's immortalised. But I said this when my nana passed because she made this slice called Johnny Allsorts and it was like, it didn't have licorice allsorts in it. Right. it didn't have licorice all sorts in it. Right. Is this what she called it? Yeah, I don't know if this was the general name of it. Johnny Allsorts was like this chocolate on the top

and it had like this biscuity base and it was just yum and it was her like signature thing. She'd be like, there's some Johnny Allsorts in the cupboard. You get that. Eat way too much. Feel a little bit sick.

Johnny Allsorts is a, oh no, this will be different because it's got licorice all sorts in it. Absolutely not. Okay. We're not a monstrous family. We're not Dutch. Yeah.

I'm Dutch, love chucking licorice in things. Oh, I have one of these yum Dutch lollies. Looks a bit like a cough lozenge. I set the air to it. And then you eat it and you're like, oh, it's so salty. Holland must be a terrible place. But yeah yeah she was I said we should chuck her

Johnny all sorts of recipes on her And they were like no I think it costs per That's the problem It does cost per letter So you've got to be cashed up Otherwise the recipe Needs to be something simple

Like a mousetrap You know like bread spaghetti Bread Heat bread Add spaghetti You just put spaghetti Just put spaghetti Save on the I You don't need the I there Everyone knows at this stage That you definitely need Or you You just put spaghetti. Spaghetti, yeah. Just put spaghetti. Save on the I.

You don't need the I there. Everyone knows at this stage that you definitely need it. Or you could just put heat spag. Yep. People know you mean spaghetti, and you've saved yourself an H and an E and a TTI. Exactly. Put that money in the bank.

Yep. Yeah, so that's quite a cool idea. You could do this on your... My giant building. On your giant building. You could just have a wall of your favourite recipes. Take caramilk. Eat. your giant building. You could just have a wall of your favourite recipes. Take caramilk.

Eat.