ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - FVM Best Bits- Calls!

Episode Date: January 6, 2021

FVM Best Of Calls!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees, get one free on the Maccas app. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Last night, having a look around on the internet for things we can do today.

Researching for the 50k fact of the day, which is coming up. Getting myself a fact. And I saw the headline, Nickelback up to something, according to Nickelback. Oh, that's the saddest. I know. Don't say that about yourself. We're up to something. Hey, guys.

But they didn't say we're up to something. They made their own headline. Yeah, they're like, hey, remember us? We're up to something. You're like, not now. That's like me being like, hey, Megan's up to something. You're like, oh, yuck. According to Megan, Megan's up to something.

I literally said out loud, not now. Not now, Nickelback. It's not the time. It's not the time. We don't need you right now ever, arguably, but not now. I don't know Chad Kroger. I'm sure he's a lovely guy, but not now. Not now.

But I clicked it anyway. Ugh, not now. And then after it, my, oh, not now. And then after it, my, oh, not now, was like, I said not now! Not now! So that gave me the idea of this new segment called Not Now! It's where we've got enough on our plate, and maybe someone's just trying to put a little extra on your plate. Yeah, okay.

A dinner roll of bad news. Yeah. A broccoli dish of unwanted drama. Come on, we've got some more to ask people to force on your plate. A wristle of... Nope, I'm out. I did it right. Two for me.

It's the naan when you've already got rice and... No, no, no. Never say no to naan. What are you talking about? You think you need a naan and then you're like, no, I didn't need a naan. You always need a naan. Sorry, I tried to join in.

You should have used rice. Sit over here. You should have used rice. Someone's trying to shove rice on your plate when you're like, no, I just wanted the naan and the curry. Just soak up the sauce. No, that's what the naan does. The naan is the better carbohydrate.

Yeah, every time. Every time. Especially if it's a garlic cheese naan. I thought we knew you. I would never say not now to naan. No, not. Not now, naan. It's always the first thing I eat.

And then I'm like, God, I need more curry juice. Curry juice? What are you, juicing the fruit of the curry? Famously, he's like, I just want the sauce sometimes. Yeah, I'll just get the sauce sometimes and dip the naan. Give me a bowl of sauce and a naan. Yeah. Nickelback's definitely not the naan of the scenario.

No, it's the extra rice on the BYO table that you don't need. Not now. Not now. Come back with another bowl of rice. Not now. Not now. So I was wondering, of rice. Not now. Not now. So I was wondering, you can call 0800-DALZM. Yep.

Were you about to forget the number there of the radio station we work? Every single time. I have to think about it. When do we work? And then I look above you and I see it. I mean, we've only been here six years and a bit. And the number is an instruction, pretty much. Dial the radio station we work for.

You just got PTSD from the last job, don't you? No, I don't know what number I want to say. I want to say call 0800 001 001. What now? That's the first. That's still my go-to. That's your go-to, 0800. Yeah.

Well, 0800 dials it in. Now, what do you want people to... So it's like when... So this got announced yesterday that it was level three for midday and level two for the rest of the country that's not Auckland. And then maybe you just got a little summon extra. And you're just like, not now. Like when my TV didn't work because it couldn't reach the Wi-Fi.

And I don't have an aerial, so I had no TV. I was like, not now. Not now. I got my rates bill yesterday. Oh, not now. Not now. I know I have to pay it. It's an inevitability.

But not now. But not today. Yeah. Come next week when I've settled in. Well, you just went into lockdown level 3 or 2 And your pregnancy test comes back positive You're like not now Unless you were wanting that

I guess And then you'd be like okay now's fine This is the narn You've just narned it No I haven't You've got this misconception that everyone that gets pregnant Is a mistake or a whoopsie daisy They're like,

oh, here we go. Not now. Some people would be getting out of that and they're like, yes. That could be a not now moment.

I'll take it whenever it happens. It could be. That is your go-to. It could be. Oh, children, not now, not ever. Not now, yeah.

You hear a crying baby. Not now. Yeah. 0800 dials at M. It's our new segment called Not Now. Not now. Not now. Yeah. 0800 dials at M. It's our new segment called Not Now. Not now. Not now. Have you had a not now moment?

By the way, I'm getting sent a lot at the moment. Adam Levine from Maroon 5 has grown a beard and he's shaved his head. Oh, is he wearing a beanie? He's got an ad on Instagram and he's playing in the dark. Right. I'm getting five messages a day saying, this guy's stealing your look. I've hit him up. Who knows? It's a cease and desist order.

You've got bald head and beard on lockdown. That's your trademark. Oh no, me and DJ Forbes and Ben Barrington, all the bald bearded brothers from New Zealand have got in touch with them just telling them to back off. So it's a new segment we're calling

Not Now. Nickelback. Just tell him to back off. So it's a new segment we're calling Not Now. Not Now. Nickelback. This could be the theme song for Not Now. Not Now. Nickelback are up to something. According to Nickelback. Not Now Nickelback.

And I was just like, in the middle of this. Not Now. Not Now. So we want to know when you've had recently, now that we're into level two and three, you've had some news and you're like, Not now. So we want to know when you've had recently. Now that we're into level two and three, you've had some news and you're like, not now. Tripped on my cat. Pulled a calf muscle. This happened this morning as I got out of bed, reads this text message.

It's not bad, but I'll be limping for the day. And it's just not now. Sam, good morning. Morning, team. Okay, so what's your not now moment? I'm currently sitting in the COVID testing queue at the North Shore Events Centre and I'm bursting to go to the toilet.

I reckon I can almost hear the jiggling in your voice. You know when you're like... Pretty much. I reckon there's about 200 cars in front of me. Oh, God. Where are you going to wee? You've got to wee. Yeah, there's not too many options around.

There's sort of like essential companies that are open that I'm sure won't be that keen to let us in. So it could be a long morning. Is there a bush? Yeah, but there's also 200 cows around me. Who cares? Who cares? Not too many options.

Does that make you want to go waste at sound effects? What was that? What was that? I just giggled water sound effects. Not helping. Not particularly helpful. What about that, Megan? I'll pour some water into my glass.

Okay, you do that. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no. You horrible people. Not now. Not now. That's a not now on top of a not now. Do you have like a bottle, Sam?

I've got my paper cap that I can put my cup of tea in. That's only like 250 mils, though. Yeah, not going to be enough. How confident are you that you could stop mid-wee because you could start weeing, stop, tip it out. Chuck the tea out. Oh, good Lord. Wee again, chuck it out,

and then look at people and be like blech, bell team. But surely having a car in the queue is the same as having a trolley in the queue and then you nip nip to get something you've forgotten at the supermarket. Just go find a bush. Over there, I've thought about telling them I don't have a car and just doing a walk up

and see if they'll take me quicker, but I'm not sure it'll fly either. Somebody's just messaged in saying if you get out of your car and walk up the front they're at the front, but that would breach sure it'll fly either. Somebody's just messaged in saying if you get out of your car and walk up the front, they're at the front, but that would breach bubble protocol, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would.

Is there someone else in the queue listening that could just be... There's toilets up the front. Somebody else messaged in from the queue. Go out the window and ask them if you can use the toilet. I think you can. Have you got a mask on?

I don't. I need someone else to keep my car moving before I do that. Or is there somebody else listening now that's in the testing at the North Shore Events Centre that could just look after Sam's car? Just keep an eye on it. Just keep an eye on it.

Like the person behind you. I mean, you might have to sanitise. We're very concerned here. No, no, they shouldn't have to get in the car. They just have to stay. No, but she might have, they might have to move it forward 10 metres when the next person moves forward.

I reckon it's about a metre a minute at the moment. It's pretty slow going. Oh, you can do it, Sam. I reckon you can wee. Do you think I should just get out and sprint? Yes, Sam. Yes. Keep your mask on.

Sam, we'll just keep you on hold there because this is the radio drama. This is the gripping radio drama. And if anybody is listening in the queue and you can help out Sam. Sam, what does your car look like? What colour? It's black, but I'm currently parked in the middle of a cul-de-sac. I'm not even into the North Shore of Exeter car park yet.

Oh, okay. So that's a long way, isn't it? I'm just trying to think. It is. Yeah, right. I might have to wait a bit longer until I can maybe have a visual on the toilet. Just go behind one of those, like, factories or something that are all around the shops or something.

Surely just... You don't leave it too long because you're going to get to the point where you get out of the car. Once you're standing, you're going to have to walk the tightrope the whole way. This is what a gripping radio drama. Sam, please hold the line. We'll come back to you soon, see how you're getting on. Let's take some more calls.

Your not-now moments. Caitlin, what was your not-now moment? Oh, my not-now moment is that my four my four month old has decided to start teething. Oh, just as you get to spend every moment there. Not now. Not now. Yeah, choose a better time. Yeah, another time. Thanks you call Caitlin. Petra, what's your not now moment? Hey, basically it was a few days ago when I was driving.

I'd been unemployed for a while, so it was hard to get a job. And I had all these bills chucked on me and stuff like that. And so the other day I managed to get a job and it was my first day at work. I was so excited to pay off my bills. And then I overtook a truck because he was going so slow. And then I got pulled over by a cop straight after.

Oh, not now. Not now. Yeah, the worst thing about it was he had a long chat with me knowing that I was late for work

so I was like, oh God. Not now. Not now. Not now. Where have we learned our lesson though about speeding?

Not now, Vaughan. No, not now. Not now. Thanks for your call, Petra. Dave, what was your not now moment? Yeah, good day, team. I just got a letter in the mail yesterday and it was a speeding ticket, so a bit of a shame.

The problem was, though, that when I opened it up, it was in Italian. Oh, okay. Have you been to Italian? Well, here's the thing, guys, is that I was there about eight months ago, and apparently I took a bit of a speeding trip down the street and got fined for it. Not now.

Not now. Yeah, we're in lockdown again. Not now. Now, I don't think you have to pay that, Dave. When are you going back to Italy? Well, hopefully never. I mean, goodness, we're going think you have to pay that, Dave. When are you going back to Italy? Well, hopefully never. I mean, goodness, we're going to get speeding tickets like that. Unbelievable.

So this is Italy's fault because if you've ever played Mario Kart, that's a very fast Italian driving situation, you know? Well, I thought I was Mario, you know? Yeah, yeah. You see me, Mario. Dave, you should take a picture of yourself? You should just take a picture of yourself Printed out of you Just ripping the fingers

And see what they say Like Different countries Yeah, 100% And it's not bad enough You know, I mean With all the COVID stuff You know, it's like

They've still got COVID And they're sending out Spitting tickets Unbelievable Not now, Dave Not now Exactly, thanks Dave Good luck with that

Billy What's your not now moment? Hey, guys. My not now moment was that yesterday morning we watched the cat in slow-mo basically rip off the gutter on our greenhouse and all three windows came splashing out. Not now, cat. Not now. Not now.

Yeah, it was literally in slow-mo. It was trying to get onto the pitch of the greenhouse and the gutter just fell below its feet and then all the windows came crashing out. Did you film it? No, I didn't. We were just sitting watching it. Always film your cat when it's up to mischief. Dog wouldn't have done that.

No. Aaron, what was your go-to moment? Oh, how's it going? Good. Your cat wouldn't have done that. No. Aaron, what was your go-to moment? Oh, how's it going? Good. So my not now moment is two days ago I got a text from a girl saying that I have a five-year-old kid that I have no idea about. Not now? What?

When's this? Not a good time for that message, I don't think. Or maybe like. Yeah, not now is because me and my partner now is just about to have a baby, so... Oh! Eric! We got a winner! Not now, not now.

Wow, you just went from not daddy to double daddy in the space of a day. Wow. Why did she say, why she waited five years to tell you, or... I think, like, her partner's splitting up and there's a possibility of me being the father,

so I should go and get a DNA test and rah-rah-rah-rah-rah. Not good. What a bunch of drama. So you're going to do the DNA test? I think I should do it, but I don't really want to. Were you just tempted to write back, no number, who dis? Yeah, sure.

I wonder if it's your kid, though. Oh, yeah, that's true, yeah. It could be your kid. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bit of a pick away. Haven't we got two gripping radio drummers going on simultaneously? We need to know if Aaron's the dad.

Sam, in line at the COVID testing station on the North Shore in Auckland, busting, needing to go pee. How are you getting on? Good news. I've moved about five metres and now in the car park line to get into the testing centre, but still no visual on the toilet, unfortunately. Right.

You said good news. I just had an idea. Do you have an automatic? I do, yeah. Yeah, just go right up behind the car, put it in drive, and it'll just stop and they stop. Oh, yeah, that's what bumpers, yeah. Yeah, just go right up behind the car, put it in drive, and it'll just stop and they stop. Oh, yeah, that's what bumpers are for.

Yeah. And then you'll be back in time. I wish there was a big youth or something in front of me. It's a little kind of Toyota Run-X. I'm not sure how it would do. Yeah, okay. No one's come forward. We've got some text messages in.

Someone said, if you're in the cul-de-sac, I think you may see an abandoned NZMA building to your left, and I can guarantee that there's no one in there. Just slip behind for a wee. I can tell you the person in front of me in the Run-X is listening to you guys. Did they just hear you sass their little car? They did. She's wetting herself.

The person in the little run-ex car, can you move Sam's car when she goes to the toilet? They're not lying to be tested for a contagious virus. They can't be touching each other's stirrups. You're bursting the bubbles. Oh, God. Not now. And is that on full PPE?

Not now. Yeah, but has she got some hand, Sennie? I've got some hand, Sennie. Just park it. Go on, wee. Even if there's a gap, just never mind. Because people aren't going to get to the front by the time you come back anyway. So the person in front of you is listening to the show.

Good morning to you, person in the funny little car. Sam's words, not mine. I love little cars. Can you, when there is a gap in front of you, move ultra slow so it doesn't create a big enough gap to cause another car to be like, what's going on here? But it gives Sam enough time to go wheeze behind an abandoned building. Mum's just got a text.

Mum Bev's just messaged in about her not now moment. Oh, okay, Bev, not now. I just got a letter from Mazda recalling my car for a potential crack in the driver's seat. Not now. Not now. Not the little green Kermit car. Well, especially if the person in front of Sam in the little funny car

is also the same little funny car, the Mazda 2. They're learning this now as well. Goodness me. Sam, I'll wait there. It's a gripping radio drum. We'll come back to Sam next. But I would say, Sam, just make a run for it. Yeah.

And Funny Little Car, just move slowly. Move super slow, Funny Little Car. They're not going to get to the front anyway. No, no. Just be patient. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, it's been quite the morning, radio drama-wise. If you've only just joined us,

it was during our new segment just after eight o'clock this morning. Not now. That Sam joined us and said she was in line to get a COVID test. On the North Shore. She had some symptoms, was worried and wanted to be

better safe than sorry. Was willing to wait. However, it was in that line she had her not now moment of busting to go to the toilet. Yeah. She howled for so long. So long.

So long. She was already busting when we heard about the story. Yeah, like the minute I decide I'm busting, I'm like two minutes away from wetting my pants. That's a fact. Same. But if you missed it, she went to the toilet just before and we're joined on the phone by Sam.

Hello, Sam. Good morning. Oh, you sound like a new person. Yeah, relieved. Feeling much calmer now, yes, definitely. Yeah. Now, the drama didn't end when you went to the toilet because you did lose your four cars' place in the line.

Whereabouts are you now? Did you manage to get back in behind Heather with the funny little car? No, I let that go. He had only four cars in front, but I chatted to a gentleman sort of parked just behind where I stopped, and he very kindly let me in. So it was worth the four spaces, though. I'm okay with that.

Thank you to that kind sir. Round of applause for that gentleman. Well done. So now your new friend Heather is four cars away. I know, and I've got a Land Cruiser in front of me, so I can't even see her anymore. Oh, you've got a funny little car to a giant wagon. She joins us on the phone.

Heather, thank you so much for your help this morning. All good. Sam can't see you anymore, but she's there. Yeah, I can feel her in spirit. How far away from the front are you, Heather? I don't know. I can see high-vis in the distance. Right.

But that's the thing about high-vis, Heather. You can see it from ages away. It's highly visual. Brilliant. Look at the nation. I love this one. So what is this, the finale? I think this is the final episode. Is this the end of season one this one. So what is this, the finale? I think this is a final episode.

Is this the end of season one? Yeah. Season two. Is what? Is the test results. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not ready for that, are you? I don't know.

It's a lot, isn't it? And that's a long wait, too. Yeah, and an invasion of their privacy. A little bit. A little bit, yeah. A little bit of that. Could we, Heather, could you give Sam a bye toot toot and then Sam, when you receive that toot toot,

give it a toot toot back, perhaps. Sounds good. That's okay. A little homage to the Long Weekend group too. Thank you, Sam and Heather. Oh, the stars of the show. We thought Sam was the leading lady and then halfway through the season,

Heather came in and then everyone really liked Heather. Who are we nominating for the leading actress? Probably Sam. Probably Sam because she was there from day one. But Heather will be best supporting. She's up against some super strong competition because Helen Mirren's done that series this year. But Heather's against a weaker field,

so we're thinking Heather's probably going to take it. Yeah, right. And I win for best director. Why are you the director? Who else is going to be the director? Okay, fine. You've got producer written all over you. What is Megan then?

Gaffer. I don't want to be the gaffer. Whatever, gaffer. I'm DOP. Shush in the gaffer. What I'm about to do is going to definitely secure me a long-term employment contract. Because I've had some correspondents last time we did this, people really liked it.

But last time, it was a little bit different. It was, where'd you get your pussycat? But today, it is... Hit it. How'd you name your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Is it really necessary to come in so hot? Yeah, you did come in quite hot.

Otherwise, is there any point? So this is kind of born from the fact last time we did this, people love telling stories about their cats. Like when we did this last time, it went crazy. Yeah, where did you get your pussycat? Interesting stories about how you came across what is now your cat. Yeah, like you wouldn't think it would work because it's so stupid. It worked. Well, I don't know if this will work again. Ah, but today we

want to know, how'd you name your pussycat? Because I've been asked, I think people don't want to ask you because they're scared to, but they ask why your cat has a military title. Major Murray Fluffington. I don't know. It just does. It did, eh? Because Major was one of the options.

So was Murray. And then I just put it all together. You can't be like Major Murray. You've got to have a last name because you say like, whenever there's a military title, you say the whole bit. Yeah. So Major Murray Fluffington. Technically, his name's illegal in New Zealand, but.

Why is it illegal? She can't give it a title. Oh, that's yeah. So Major Murray Fluffington. Technically, his name's illegal in New Zealand, but... Why is it illegal? She can't give it a title. Oh, that's children. Yeah. Is it illegal to... Because isn't it illegal to have, like, military medals that aren't yours or something? Or wear them and say you got them? It's illegal to, yeah, pretend.

Oh, God. Well, because I had an Anzac Day costume for Major Murray Fluffington, so I'll put that out the window. Unless he stormed the beaches of Gullipoli. He doesn't deserve them, and rightly so. If he didn't climb Chunuk Bear. Yep. I recently went to Papa World War I. Oh, with the big people.

That's so great, eh? The Chunuk Bear. Yeah. What a bloody battle that was. That's a great exhibition. That did not look like fun. No, shit, no. At all.

Good people. Anyway, we're not talking about Anzacs. They get a day, don't they? They do, yeah. And then we celebrate them the rest of the year. But we're talking, how do you name your pussycat? So in this segment, we need you to call us on 0800-DIALS-NM and then Vaughan sings the stupid song

and then you tell us the great story behind the name of your pussycat. If you've got an unusual cat. And you know, like, you know if your cat's got one of these names because you are constantly explaining it to people. Yeah. When they meet your cat. Yeah. Do you sing the intro out?

I can't remember. Yeah, because they want that. Oh, why did you ask? So you can call us now or text in to play the game. How'd you name your pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Meow. Oh, you want it right now.

Give the people what they want now. How'd you name your pussycat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Off the back of how'd you get your pussycat? Yeah, how'd you get your pussycat? Which, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Off the back of how'd you get your pussycat. Yeah. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Which is where we heard about how you acquired your cat. Yeah.

Now we want to know how you named it. So is this a finale? Who knows? Where, how, what? I reckon we could, do you know what we could do? I saw a guy walking his three-legged dog the other day. You could do how many legs pussycat got his three-legged dog the other day. You could do, how many legs has Pussycat got? Where do you take your Pussycat?

Yes! Yes! Oh, my God, no, no, no! Yes! Yes! Like, people that take their cats on adventures because purely they're, you know, traditionally they're a home-based animal.

They don't, famously, they're not going anywhere. Write that down, Producer Arnie. I'm so upset with myself. And we should also do how many legs does your pussycat have? It's got to fit in with the syllables at least. It would be like, your pussycat's

weird thing. I'll have to work on the word. This has got legs is what you're saying. Infinite. Infinite legs. How's your pussycat different? How's your pussy cat different? How's your pussy cat different? How's your pussy cat a freak? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

All right, we welcome. Let's play first. Courtney, good morning. Morning. No, not every time. Yes, every time. Every time. How do you name your pussy cat?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, meow. Sorry, Courtney. Morning. Morning. So my cat's name is McFlaggishmagger. What? What did you say? McFlaggishmagger.

McFlaggishmagger. I'm scared to ask. Yeah, every check has been pre-approved. Yeah, okay, it's been pre-approved. How did you get that name, Courtney? I was actually away. She was a kitten of my cat, Lucy, and my sisters decided to keep that one kitten

and name her McFluggishmugger. I came back thinking, okay, well, this is a bit weird, but my father had taken her and her mother to the vet to stop the breeding system from working, thinking that Mac was actually a boy and then found out, well, Mac was actually a girl. So she's

converted from McFlaggishmagger to Mac. And that doesn't explain McFlaggishmagger. Thank you, Courtney. This is what you asked for, can I just say. Amy, good morning. Morning.

Okay, again, here we go. And go. How do you name your pussy cat? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. My cat's name was Griffins because he was a six, so he had ginger nuts. Yes! That is good. That is good stuff.

That is what this segment is all about. Olive, good morning. Shut up. She punched in. She punched out. Wait a minute. Olive. Olive.

Olive. Olive. You'll be told when to speak. Wait there, Olive. Hold on, Olive. Hold on Olive Hold on Shush your mouth Wait a minute

Here we go How do you do You pussycat Whoa Whoa Whoa Olive Okay

I'm ready to go now Okay My cat's name is Porridge Oh that's so cute And He's got a really interesting life story When I was 12 years old My parents bought me this kitten

who I was obsessed with. Absolutely lived by him. And then he died two weeks later, heartbroken, distraught, all of the emotions in one. And then my mum bought home porridge because he looked exactly the same. And I was like, this is so insensitive, Mum. Like, I'm heartbroken. You can't do this to me.

And he just, he looks like a bowl of porridge. That's really all there is to it. We get guests that come over and they're like, oh my God, your cat's so cute, what's its name? It's like,

it's Porridge, but like, don't be mean to him, I feel like he gets a bit shy about it. It's a great name for a cat. I love it. She can be like, Porree,

Porree, puss, puss, puss, puss. It's important to hear your cat's name can be called in a high-pitched voice. It is. Sarah, good morning.

Thank you, Olive. Sarah. Good morning. Welcome to How'd You Name... No, no, no, no. You don't introduce it. You let the song do the work for you. Make your night, sis.

How'd you name your pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, Sarah So, it's my friend's cat And they called it Tickle My Okay Tickle My Yep, no, I see, I see Pussycat

Oh, yeah, right, okay That's quite That's going to be one to explain to the kids one day. It is. Nicola, good morning. Morning. All right, here we go. How do you name your pussy cat?

Whoa, whoa, Nicola. Now it's got their names on the end. See, it's an evolving segment. Megan's face says it all. She hates it. Nicola.. Megan's face says it all. She hates it. Nicola. My cat's name was Gillette, and it was because when he was a kitten,

he just about got run over, so it was like a close shave. Oh, my God. That's funny. That's great. Brilliant. Oh, now you're laughing, Megan. So many.

So great. Thank you, Nicola. I was going to call her Gillette. These are some text messages for, how do you know your pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time for texts. We've got Scott because he had one eye,

so it's like Scott one eye. Oh, yeah. Like Scott no mates. Yeah. That was my brother's name. Scott no mates. Scott no mates. Somebody else said, ours is called King because we found him behind Burger King.

He was meowing. He was meowing behind Burger King. Our cat's name is Trunk because he has truncular obesity. Do you know what that is? That sounds like that's a nickname. From birth? From birth. Oh, okay.

No, no, no. It sounds like more of a nickname. Our cat's grey and has got an M on her head, so we called her Macy Grey. Oh, I love that. That's good. That's good. Our kitten is Costa because when we got it, it was free, but then it needed a whole lot of treatments because it was sick and it cost a lot of money.

So that's why it's Costa. Our cat's name is 16. I got him for my 16th birthday. He lived for 16 years. Oh, wow. Named our cat Ken. So the other neighbourhood cats would think he was tough and it worked a treat.

Ken was tough. Okay. We found two abandoned kittens in our hangar at the Christchurch helicopters and named them after our helicopters Hughie was after a Hughes 500 And Squirrel No, I was thinking Squirrel too

Only because it's the only helicopter I know of Chinook Robinson No one's got just a Chinook hanging around That's an unrealistic We might need to move some logs or a tank You don't know that The New Zealand Armed Forces, they might have it.

Do the New Zealand Armed Forces have a Chinook? No, they don't have a Chinook. Are there any Chinooks? Black Hawk. Is that a helicopter? Yeah, that's a helicopter. Yeah, Black Hawk Down. Black Hawk Down.

Robinson. That's a cute little one. Someone said our cat's called Toast because when we first got him, he smelled like burnt toast. What was the other helicopter? You didn't tell us he had a helicopter. You didn't tell us he had a helicopter. Cabby after a cabri. Well, I didn't know that helicopter.

It's stupid. I thought I did cover both helicopters. Well, did they take the cats up in the helicopters because they could be a shoo-in for the next segment? For the next segment of where'd you take your pussycat? I hope they do. My cat was named Nunu's after the Tallytubbies vacuum cleaner because she used to eat everything. Okay cat was named Nunu's after the Teletubbies vacuum cleaner because she used to eat everything.

Okay. I remember Nunu's. Nunu's. My cat's name is Allie, which is short for elephant because it was a really heavy-footed cat. It would stomp everywhere and you could hear him. Our grey kitten is called Ash, double meaning because he looks like he's covered in ash.

Yep. And also named after Dr. Ashley Bloomfield, because we got him during lockdown. Oh, yes. That's cute. Thank you for your text messages. What another raging success. Yes.

How'd you name your pussycat? Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast. ZM. We want to talk about now the scene of a breakup, the interesting scenes where you've um been broken up with or if you've broken up with somebody where did it happen because yesterday on the show we talked uh to somebody who found out their partner had been cheating on them he decided to drop this bombshell in the gardening section of the warehouse um they were there getting some house plants and

yeah she was like oh whatever happened to so-and-so that we used to be kind of friends with? He'd be like, oh, we stopped talking to her because I slept with her. Sorry, was that out loud? That was what I was thinking. I've got a feeling I've said it out loud. You can understand why he did it, though, because in a public place, you know, like awful for her, but like she can't have a meltdown. She did.

She lay on the floor. Remember she said she collapsed into a pile of human puddle on the floor. That's the hope though when you break up with someone in public and people have said this, they do it in public purposely, like at a dinner or in a highly public place because it lessens the chance of a screaming meltdown. That's not fair. No, wait.

You've got to do it in private. You are underestimating the person you're breaking up with. If you think a public performance is going to stop them. No, because, like, you've just done that to me. I'm going to absolutely embarrass the crap out of you in public right now. Hell hath no fury. Yeah. Like, especially if it's like,

I'm breaking up, I've already got somebody else on the go, blah, blah, blah. Oh, don't think I'm, someone's not throwing a carafe of water at your head. Like, it's about to go down. Yeah. So we want to take your calls right now.

0800 dials at M. You can text as well, 9696. Where was the scene of your breakup? Where did it go down? What was the setting? Yeah. We're in public. How bad did it get?

Maybe you look back now and you're like, wow. Always good, though, when you see a big public meltdown. Also, would you, let me just have a think. No, I've never broken up with anybody. I've never been, I've never made the call. You've always been broken up with. I've never broken up with anybody. I've never been. I've never made the call. You've always been broken up with. I've never done it in public. Well, yeah, but do you take them somewhere to break up with them?

Like I saw someone getting broken up with once in the Hamilton Gardens. And they were crying. And I was like, it's all right, look. Flowers. It's bloody Italy, mate. And Japan's just over there. We want to know the scene of the breakup in public. Where was it?

I'm imagining you just got a good message. I got two really good text messages. Trying to call. Okay, I want to read you this one because Dr. Seuss messaged in. I've been dumped in a bar. I've been dumped in a car. But the weirdest by far was being dumped in a spa. Good. Good.

Good from you. They dumped me near, they dumped afar. I'm just trying to add to it. Yeah. Wow. So where was the breakup? Where was the scene in the breakup? Unusual.

Like the pot plant section of the warehouse. Maddie, you dumped somebody. Whereabouts publicly? On the roof of the Te Tata Museum. How did you get up there? Or is there a cafe lookout there? No, there's doors you can get outside and have a look over your roadwell and car by kind of thing.

Was that planned or did you just go up there and you're like, okay, this is the moment? It was a little bit planned. I was really young. I was a teenager, teenage relationship, and I was kind of at the end of it. And we were like, yeah, we'll hang out this weekend, me fully knowing that that's what I was going to do. But being a teenager, I didn't really want to go to his house and do it.

Yeah. So, yeah, do it in public, into Papa. After we've gone through the whole museum for the last three, four hours. And then, yeah. Did you go to the earthquake house? I can't remember if we did or not. No, you wouldn't have.

That means you didn't because you never forget an earthquake house. No, no. It's a shocking experience. And then you're like, let's go up on the roof. And he's like, oh my gosh, she's going to propose. That's torture, though. You spent three hours knowing you're just going let's go up on the roof. And he's like, oh my gosh, she's going to propose. That's torture though. You spent three hours knowing you're just going to dump him at the end. I know, I know.

I should have just gone for it at the beginning. Rip off the old band-aid. True. Maddie, thanks for your call. Let's go now to Claudia and the happiest place on earth, Disneyland. You witnessed a breakup. Yeah, honestly, it was one of the best things I've ever witnessed in my life i like you i would i would also like to see you can hang out yeah yeah yeah well my mum flew over to the us to meet me after i'd done summer camp um obviously like a couple

of years ago now and decided to go to disneyland for the day so we went at 9am till 9pm about halfway through the day obviously got really tired really tired. Sat down, I just saw this girl screaming at her boyfriend. I was like, Mum, Mum, look. We sat there, probably for about half an hour, and then we're like, oh no, we've got to go, move on. I feel sorry for the couple

and I feel bad for the girl, because obviously he'd done something. So you're saying you were exhausted half a day into Disneyland, Seeing someone get crushed gave you the energy to see out the rest of the day. Yeah, most definitely. They do put on some good shows at Disneyland.

What a place to break out with someone, though. Hey, thanks for your call. Let's go to Ethan. Ethan, where was the scene of the break-up? Hey, guys. How are you? Good, good, mate. So, basically, I was at work. So, I'm a waiter. Yeah.

And my missus brought another guy in. And I was like, that's a bit sus, but I just let it go, you know? Yeah. They ordered their food and all that sort of stuff. I brought the food out, a bowl of pasta for the two of them. Yeah. They were real, like, touchy and cuddly, all this sort of stuff. I was like, oh, a bit strange.

So, I took the pasta out. A bit strange. Will you not, like, introduce me?uddly, all this sort of stuff. I was like, oh, a bit strange. So I took the pastor out. A bit strange. Will you not like introduce me? Like who is this person? I don't know. Like she didn't even take any notice of me. Right. So I was like, all right.

And then I went back to the back of the kitchen and then the boss called me to the front. The bowl of pasta is sitting there with the engagement ring in the pasta and it got returned back to the kitchen. I was like, hmm, right? What? Wait, so it was, you'd already engaged to,

you had already asked her to marry you? Yeah. Wow. So she just put the ring in the pasta and sent the pasta back? And I haven't heard back from her since. What? When did this happen? The end of last year, maybe?

And you were just like, oh, well, them's the breaks. I was like, it is what it is, you know? No, Ethan. No, I need more. I need more answer. Like, did she give you a reason? Like, how did you find out?

How long have they been seeing each other behind your back? I literally know as much as you guys do. Like, I haven't heard from her. I got blocked on everything. I was like, all right. She's savage. She came to your restaurant so you could serve her. So you would see it and she would be able to break up with you sans explanation.

Yep, I guess so. I guess the explanation was, here's the other guy that I'm feeling up in front of you. Yeah, it was a bit of a, it wasn't the hottest guy I've seen. Let's put it that way. Oh, wow. Right. But when they were, like, touching and stuff,

you weren't like, oh, I better ask my fiancé what's happening here. You were like, I better go get her that pasta. I don't know. Like, she's, like, a friendly person anyway. And I was like, oh, you know, like, I better go get her that pasta. I don't know. She's like a friendly person anyway. And I was like, you know, like, she'll be sweet. And then the engagement ring came back and I was like, all right. That is what it is. Ethan, listen.

She's a friendly person. Doesn't even excuse her for being out for dinner with someone without letting you know. No, don't try and make him angry if he's made peace with it. No, you know. You seem very chill with this, Ethan. Yeah, like, the thing is, it is what it is. Everything happens for a reason. So, I mean, it wasn't supposed to be.

How do you have closure, though? Because it's very hard to move on without those questions being answered, like, how long was this going on for? You know, how did they meet? I want to know all of these things. Why didn't you eat the pasta and then put the ring in the empty bowl? Because this is a waste of pasta.

We're trying to reduce waste here at Ethan's restaurant. Yeah, I don't know. Like, for the week after, I was a bit, like, confused and, like, upset. And then I was like, oh, can't do much about it now. And then just moved on. I think it was over the next week, a new woman walked into the restaurant. I was like, all right, just go for it. And boom, bam, bang. What, you gave her the same pasta?

Don't give her the engagement ring. Not the same pasta. Put that engagement ring in your pocket for six months, will you? You're chomping around. Right, so are you still seeing the same woman? Oh, no, she took off. Okay, right. She took off. Where did she go?

Ethan, buddy. I feel like we need to have just a sit down and a bit of chat. Yeah, I don't think we had the best luck, guys. Ethan, this is like

how I felt after watching the entire series of Unsolved Mysteries. I need some closure on some of this. Wow. Yeah. Are you single at the moment. Yeah. So, are you single

at the moment? Yeah. Are you single at the moment? Yeah, at the moment, yeah. Do you still have her number? Because I'll just call her and ask her. I don't think I do, guys,

but if I find it, I'll promise I'll give it to you. Ethan, how old are you? 24. Right, okay. Were you thinking he was 18 and was rushed into it? Yeah, I'm trying to paint a picture in my mind of Ethan. Yeah, right.

Yeah, wow. Okay, buddy. Well, don't get engaged this weekend, all right? I got you, guys. You look after yourself. Yeah, best of luck. Don't be afraid to ask people questions If you've got them

I got you thank you guys Thanks Ethan have a great weekend mate Alright it's 8.24 next on the show I feel so unresolved I want to help out Ethan with his love life And you just want to find out what happened to the Nasty cow that dumped him If you want to help him out with his love life

Sure get him on radio tinder or something But I do want to find out what happened to the nasty cow that dumped him. If you want to help him out with his love life, sure, get him on Radio Tinder or something. But I do want to find out from his girlfriend, his ex-fiance, what the hell bloody happened there. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here.

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