ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - FVM Best Bits- Stories

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

FVM Best Of Stories!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to McCafe. Buy five McCafe coffees, get one free on the Maccas app. ZM. Hit music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. There was a little revelation we found out regarding Fletch.

I don't know why this is a big deal. I've been getting roasted this morning behind the scenes. We know that you love a bulk buy. You bulk buy your heavy hat. How many kgs of olives have you got at your house at the moment? Oh, my God. I actually regret buying so many olives. You've gone overboard.

I'm sick of olives now. Yeah. I love olives, but I bought like a 5kg jar of olives. It's like Gilmore's probably isn't a good idea for you because you get excited. I get real excited. You buy a big one. You buy bulk. Yeah.

And then we saw Hilary Barry there and I got real excited. You buy a big one. You buy bulk. Yeah. And then we saw Hillary Barry there and I got extra excited because she's a bulk buyer as well. Yeah. And I just went a bit overboard. How many have you got to go? Of the olives? I reckon I'm

two thirds of each container have to go. Oh, right. Yeah. What, so you didn't finish one container before you opened the other one? No, because there's like... Different flavours.

Different flavours of all of them. Calamari. The big ones and, yeah, those ones, the little red ones. Are the calamari the little red ones or the big green ones? They're the little red ones. Are they? Yeah. Yeah, and then the big green ones.

I'm getting through those because they're bigger, obviously. Yeah, but I do, I love a bulk buy. You're right. Yeah, so this is actually food related. And I don't know if it's so much bulk, but it's something you're making in bulk on the cheap. How did it come up yesterday? I can't remember. They mentioned it very lightly in passing and wanted to carry on.

Somebody made it as a joke, said it as a joke, that their mum had an Easy-O yoga maker. And I said, well, I've got an Easy-O yoga maker. And then I'm getting roasted relentlessly. He got set upon. So every morning I see Fletcher eat his muesli and his yoga. And I just assume that you're buying one of those tub, one litre tubs. Like a big tub. A big Greek yoga.

You are literally at home making your own Easy-O. Yeah, and then I bring it into work and leave it in the fridge. It's great. A big Greek yoghurt. You are literally at home making your own EZO. Yeah, and then I bring it into work and leave it in the fridge. It's great. You get the little sachet, you mix it into the container, you put it into the EZO with hot water, and then in eight hours you've got yoghurt. It's great.

How often do you make one of these? Like every week and a half, two weeks. What flavouring do you use? I do coconut. I do coconut yoghurt. What? It is so yum. Where do you do the coconut flavour? Is that in the sachet?

It's in the sachet. Because I remember when we had Easy Yo as a kid, as kids, you had some flavour you squirted in afterwards. Didn't you? Nah, I don't do that. Yeah, you do. So you can get the flavour in the powder, but you can also get like toppings.

It's like fruit toppings or you can stir them in. But that's sugar. You don't need that extra. But ours was just plain and then you squirt it in like the strawberry topping. What do you think yours is sweetened with? It depends what wine you get, but you can get some unsweetened yoghurt flavoured. It's brilliant. It's a couple of dollars.

It's saving so much money. A couple of dollars? Yeah, for a sachet. For how much yoghurt? And how much does that make? A big thing. Two litres of yoghurt. No, it doesn't make two litres. It makes one litre. No, it, for a sachet. For how much yogurt? And how much does that make? A big thing. Two litres of yogurt. No, it doesn't make two litres.

It makes one litre. No, it makes like a litre. So the same as what you'd buy in the supermarket. He pays $2. Versus $4. Five or six, depending on what yogurt you're getting. Guys, why are you laughing at me? Everyone should have one of these.

I just think it's like, I don't know. It feels like such a, it feels like such a boomer. I think my dad was the last bastion of the Easy Yo maker that I was aware of. He used to make an Easy Yo. Have you not been to the supermarket? The section is so

plentiful of flavours. Yeah, but I've also been to the yoghurt area. It's so plentiful of flavours. This is how, you know, this is how they get you the supermarket. They're always like, this yogurt's on special. And you're like, oh my God, I'm going to buy it. And you get it home and it expires in two days. I don't have that problem with my Easy Yo.

How long do yours last? Like two weeks? I don't know how long it's meant to last, but it's always, you know, it doesn't go off. Somebody, and I think this is a very good point. Yeah. They said you love Easy Yo, but you don't like the Kiwi Onion Dip. Which is made from powder as well. But how do you think yogurt's made from the stores?

The same way, Megan. Why don't they make it from milk? Or do you just think they truck in tanks and tanks of milk? It would all just be mixed. That would be pretty easy given that we produce milk. They make them at the dairy factories where they make

dairy products. You're thinking they're just putting powder in big bags. Do you think they've just got a massive easy-o? Yes! At the fresh and fruity factories

just a massive easy-o. They do! Why am I getting roasted for this, guys? And I'm not wasting plastic. It's just a revelation. And it's not wasting plastic containers. That's true.

That's true. But I buy my yogurt in a glass jar, so I'm not. And then chuck the glass jar out. Oh, no, I repurpose it for screws. Plants. Small terraniums that I make and I sell down at the market. Right. It's the circle of life

I don't buy do you know how much those yogurts in a glass jar cost it's like $15 oh yeah I know I shit myself when I saw the price

of that I was like for one not the whole box right somebody some text messages in I thought

of some support okay I'm 24 and I love my yogurt maker. Because I always, do you know what put me off for ages is yogurt maker. It sounds like some whirring fancy ice cream making machine or something. It's just a container. It's just a chili bit, isn't it? You put more water.

Yeah. It's an insulated thermos. And you can buy them. So I would be an influencer. I'd be a, what do you call those? An easy yo. A campaign ambassador for easy yo if they need one. Great content.

Hey guys, remember just before we start today's video, like and subscribe to my channel and turn on notifications because if you love killer content, about eight hour culture process to make pretty boring flavoured yoghurt for only $2 a litre. You're on the right channel. Tell your friends. You can laugh. Like and subscribe.

Laugh all you like, but I've got delicious yoghurt every day. So do I. From the supermarket. Somebody said there's a new bougier one. What do you mean? Do I have to upgrade already? They make a really good coconut cacao flavour. Tell them to message me the recipe. It's the new bougier one. What do you mean? Do I have to upgrade already? They make a really good coconut cacao. Oh, tell them to message me the recipe.

It's the new brand. It's called Culture. So it would require you turning your back on Easy Yo, by the sounds of things. Well, but you might just be able to buy that thing and put your make in the Easy Yo. You don't need to buy the Easy Yo sachet. That's the beauty about the Easy Yo maker. You can put any sachet in it. Oh, my God.

I'll be back next week, guys. We're going to make passion fruit lemon flavoured yoghurt. Remember, like and subscribe. And tell your friends. Leave me alone. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM.

Oh, God. You're just going to leave silence. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's Vaughan shutting his laptop. Wow. You have Vaughn's undivided attention. That's very unlike Vaughn to shut his laptop. I'm listening.

Okay, so I've written something. Oh God, I'm already emotional. Okay, I've written something because my emotions will get the better of me and I won't say what I want to say. Fletch, think about your body language. You've got your arm up. Well, I'm waiting for the end. You're shirving yourself up.

I'm like, okay, how should I put my hands? I reckon like this. I do want to discuss something personal for a moment. I feel like I often say that you should never ask anyone about whether they're planning on having children or not, or when, or another baby even. But unless you've been on the other side of these questions, you probably don't understand why it's such a big deal. So if I can for a moment, I'd like to explain it from mine and my husband's point of view. We assumed, like many couples do, that we would have no trouble having a baby.

So we decided we wanted to start. Oh no. Okay, I can do this. We wanted to start near the end of 2018. After about 10 months of trying, we had no luck. So we thought we would get checked out to make sure everything was working as it should be. We went to a fertility clinic, which is very expensive and it's a luxury I know that not everyone can afford. We had scans and tests done and much to our frustration, everything was normal. It probably would have been better if there was something wrong because then we could explain what was happening and we could work something out. But after about a year of trying, we decided we would get some help. So we tried a drug called clomiphene.

It gave me headaches. It made me feel sick. I had massive mood swings, which I'm happy to admit. We tried four rounds of this and to no avail. At this point, it's so hard to not blame your body. I felt like I couldn't do what I was supposed to do as a woman. I was pretty despondent to say the least and my husband was feeling more and more helpless. So we worked through our options with a doctor and we were told that IVF was our next choice.

I got this. So keeping all this in mind, okay, we have been constantly fielding questions from people about when are we planning on having kids? When are we going to start a family? I'm so sorry. I can't come over because that's only going to make it worse, right? Yeah, I've got this. Okay. I had the TikToks, which was really painful. And each time I wanted to sit down and cry or just scream at the person that was asking, we were trying.

Every month we were met with disappointment and at least a couple of those moments I found out we weren't pregnant when I was on air and I wanted to hang out in the bathroom and just pack it in for the day but I had to come back in and continue an entertaining show like nothing was wrong. Okay, I'm not saying this because I want sympathy. I would love for people to understand why fertility and the journey to having a baby is so complicated and can be a painful one for so many couples. I was told by at least three of my friends that they were pregnant over this time and at least a couple of those times I went home and cried, not because I wasn't so happy for them. I just couldn't understand what was wrong with us and how unfair it was that we had to pay to have a baby.

So anyway, IVF was locked and loaded. We did all the paperwork. We learned how to administer the injections and we were all set to go. And the next day, New Zealand went into lockdown and it was all cancelled. It was disappointing but we've always remained positive because we knew we could try at a later date. This was so important for me to explain because people struggle. Please be kind and although your questions are sweet and innocent, it's hugely painful for the people on the receiving end. So, sorry, that was gross. With that being said, I would love to share the news that Andrew and I are 17 weeks pregnant with our first child, who was a surprise during lockdown. And I'm done.

You got there. Do you want some tissues? I've got one. I just keep sniffing. The mascara right over the other side. The hair hit it most of the time. Oh, okay, great. Okay. That was very well done.

That was harder than I thought it was going to be saying out loud because it's very personal and we've only spoken about it to my parents and a few people and, yeah, it's hard. It's hard seeing so many couples at these fertility clinics going through I mean so much more than us because some of them have been trying for like seven years and it's just like heartbreak after heartbreak and then people had these like innocent questions like are you guys gonna have babies like are you baby people when are you gonna have babies oh you're getting a bit older and I know it's innocent but man yeah when you're getting a bit older. And I know it's innocent, but man.

Yeah, when you're going through it, it's like a lot of things. Innocent questions from people who hadn't thought through who they were asking to it and what that person's going through behind the scenes. They do. They don't know. But yeah, it pays to ask yourself a couple of questions before you start asking people about those sorts of things. But congratulations.

Yeah. Thank you. We had no idea, did we? No. Until you told us the other day. It's a hard topic to bring. It's not that I wouldn't tell you guys, but like IVF, I never knew how to bring that up with anyone or like

talk to anyone about it, which again is why it's so hard because it's very hard to share. But then so you were about to start the IVF when level four lockdown in March, April happened. All of New Zealand, yeah.

And then it happened without the IVF. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. They say as soon as you stop trying, everything falls into place. I've heard that from a couple of friends. And I hated hearing that, but now we are the product of that. And 17 weeks. Yeah. So that means a couple of friends. And I hated hearing that, but now we are the product of that. And 17 weeks.

Yeah. So that means due date? February. Ooh, that's my birthday, so I don't like to share. Hey, you did make it about yourself. It's a very short month. A little loaded with birthdays. No, it's so awesome.

It's so awesome. Yeah. Congrats. Now, you told us awesome. It's so awesome. Yeah. Congrats. Now, you told us the news last week. Yes. And you actually, you lured us in to thinking we were doing some stupid TikTok. Do you know how hard it is? It is so hard to keep anything from you, to like pull the wool over your eyes in any way.

It's so hard. Because what did I say when you told me? I was like, I did notice you changed your breakfast. Yeah. And I had thought to myself, I was like, hmm. She's eating more. That was also. She's eating proper food for breakfast.

Hmm. That was, Fletch is like, you might be thinking that would have been after the congratulations and oh my God, no. It was like, I bloody knew it, I bloody knew it you've started eating a proper breakfast yeah but you'd nerd us in with a silly game

we work in radio so of course I've recorded it do we have the audio of before we played the game where we bitched for like 10 minutes about having to do workouts over that would have been neat. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So yesterday I told you about my new fad, my new dream. Here we go.

My new craze of the moment is to get a little wee caravan, but like a little wee retro caravan. Like an old dungy off Trade Me for like 500 bucks. Yes, that's the one. So what could go wrong? Sade's not really on board. Well, your wife knows this is a fad. You'll use it once and then it'll clog up the garage or the backyard. If I don't use it, when it's done, I'll sell it.

It's a deal. Got my word on it. Because then you'll just always say, I'm going to use it again when it's done, I'll sell it. It's a deal. Got my word on it. Oh, so now this is a money. Because then you'll just always say, I'm going to use it again. I'm going to. But then I'll just go away and use it and then come back and I'll be like, well, it was used. Is this some kind of money-making scam?

You think you're going to do this up? No, no, no, no. It's not a money-making scam. With all my prowess. Yeah. My mechanical prowess. My engineering prowess. So I was given the sales pitch yesterday at home because Sade was like, I'm not on board. But her mum

and my mum were up to go to Indy's school production. And Robin, my mother-in-law, Sade's mum, she loves crazy ideas. Well, didn't she buy an old American school bus? Yeah, which is almost ready for the road. An old big yellow American school bus that they can travel around and

live in. It's massive. Yeah, right. It's almost on the road. Wow. And she did buy a caravan, but then halfway through sold it. Yep. So she's as crazy as you. Oh, she loves crazy ideas. And usually it's Sade's crazy ideas that she buys into. Like Ralph, our dog. That was one of their collective crazy ideas. What do we need a second dog for? But anyway. So she was on board straight away. I was like, I knew couldn't count on you to get behind my mom's like you don't need this this is my mom's mantra in life you don't need that

i don't need it but i want it and mom's like yeah you live you forget you lived in a caravan for one summer and i said i know i've got a long history with caravans and mom was like yeah you didn't you did nothing but whinge when you lived in that caravan. That's why your brother got the room but you got the caravan. I said, no, I didn't. I loved my time in the caravan. It was a nice little moment of independence. I was like, I was out there and I was independent. Sure, I was on the back lawn, but, you know, I felt independent.

I lost my virginity in that caravan. And mum was like, in front of your mum and mother-in-law And my wife Oh yeah I mean she was under no illusion that Yeah

I was an innocent pure soul when we got together That's it this is the song we've done We've talked about this many times on the show This was the song that was on in the caravan It's coming up 20 years In November up 20 years. In November. Wow. 20 years.

Why this song? It was on the movie. I told you, City of Angels. Oh, I love that movie. It was big at the time. Big at the time. So that was what was on. So what was this, 1990s?

You had the TV up loud to muffle, and you know what it's like. You're living in the caravan. And so, well, have you lived in a caravan? I don't know. Maybe you don't know what it's like and you're living in a caravan and so have you lived in a caravan? I don't know maybe you don't know what it's like. No I don't so the whole thing my mother-in-law just like

laughed immediately and my mum was like oh my oh no I didn't need to know that I didn't need to know that and Shardae was like oh my god what why'd you say that? I didn't need to know that. And Charlotte was like, oh, my God. What? What?

Why'd you say that? I was like, because it happened. She's like, aren't you embarrassed? I was like, I don't care. And mum's like, oh, things you learn about your, still learning about your teenagers 20 years later. And she didn't know. And that's when my mother-in-law said,

did you not know that he had a girl out there? Mum's like, oh, yeah, I knew he was shagging out there. Oh, my gosh. Wow. I almost died with laughter. I knew he was shagging out there, but I didn't know it was his first time. And then mum was like, I remember your father didn't mind

that that girl was always around because she swam in the pool in her undies. Oh, my God. Don't out, Ian. Don't bring Ian into this. And she did. She was a very free spirit. Oh, my God. I would have been embarrassed just even being,

like just hearing that I'm embarrassed for everybody. Yeah. It was funny. I was just like laughing. I don't really care because I don't get embarrassed about stuff like that. Mum was just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I said, so this caravan, what's happening?

Yeah, my mum said, oh, well, as long as it's not parked on my back lawn. I said, don't worry about it. I don't do that. I don't do that sex stuff anymore. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Yesterday, I was blissfully scrolling through stories on my Instagram. Blissfully. Having a lovely time seeing what everyone

was up to Right When I wasn't looking at who's I was scrolling through and Fletch's pops up I'm like

what's Fletch up to on this lovely afternoon He was sitting on the toilet Oh yeah I saw this Yeah

Sweet balls You couldn't see my balls Saw your jenn. Sweet balls. You couldn't see my balls. Saw your jennies reflecting in your... You couldn't see jennies. In your white toilet. It took me a second to realise what I was seeing because, first of all, I saw your cat. And I was like, cute.

Yeah. Muzz is super cute. Yeah. But Major Muffy Murray Fluffington is my full name. Major Muffy. Major Muffy. Oh, my God, I'm just going to call him that now. Muff Muffs. Major Muffy Murray Fluffington. Major Muffy. Major Muffy. Oh my God, I'm just going to call him that now. Muff Muffs.

Major Muffy. Yep. Was sitting in your undies of your pants that were pulled down when you were sitting on the toilet. Yeah. So I was on the toilet. I was just scrolling and then the cat was there. And then like within a second, he was inside the jeans and undies and sleeping.

He was like, this is a great place to sleep. And I'm like on the toilet. Like a nest. Yeah, like a nest. Like a jean nest. Do you not shut the door when you go to the toilet? No, because I live alone. I know, but even when I'm alone, because, yeah, my dog likes to come into the bathroom

when you go in toilet too. Well, he'll come in sometimes or he'll just sit there or walk around. But yeah. I like the judgment when I'm doing my thing. For some reason, he thought this is a warm nest. And I was like, this is pretty cute. It probably was warm and musty. And then he

kind of got to sleep and I was like, well, this is weird. I'm going to put it on Instagram because that's what you do, right? And then I was like, okay, that's cute. And then I was like, well, I need to get up. So initially it was just a still picture. Excuse me, Murray. Excuse me, Murray. I need to get up. And then I was like, get out. And he didn't want to get out because obviously it was warm.

And then a video of you like shuffling along with your pants down and your cat in your undies. Eventually he jumps out and then he goes, and I say, thank you, Murray. And he goes, meow. It was very cute. I was like, and I did contemplate, do I put this on Instagram stories? I was so grossed I did contemplate do I put this on Instagram stories? I was so grossed out on two levels. First level, your cat

was in your undies. Like, ooh yuck for Mars. And then you just pulled them up and like ooh yuck, that grosses me out. But cats sleep on laundry all the time. Yeah. And second of all, I could just Don't you kiss your dog on the face

no I absolutely don't dog people do that though no not all dog people that's disgusting because he licks his balls when I see people letting their dogs lick their mouths I'm like you nasty and then you had your pants down and you're shuffling along

I was like no I can't see it, but I can imagine what's happening here. So this was the horror of the situation. And you can see this story on my Instagram, Fleet10Z. I'll just drop that in there. Because I put my phone down and then went away for 45 minutes

after I posted this story. It wasn't near my phone. And I picked up Instagram and there were a lot of messages. What kind of messages? Oh my God, I've accidentally Instagram and there were a lot of messages and I was like oh my god I've accidentally put my penis on Instagram because Vaughn was like sweet balls and I was like no I did a check

I did a check I didn't even see a shadow but I knew you'd be freaking out about it so that's why I was like sweet balls I put my hand over most of the thing and I was just looking for where there could be a little bit of penis poking through. No penis. I was like... But even though it didn't have a shadow, it was

the inference that it was even out when you were filming. It was just like... A lot of people did say, I can see the shadow, but it was when the cat turned his head, the ear made it look like an elongated ear, like a diddle. And I was like, oh my god, I've put my diddle on Instagram.

This is terrible. But then I did a good check and it was fine. But most people loved it, Megan. It had like 100 and something shares, 170 shares. Grossed out. What was the most popular response of people looking at it? I bet it was a bloody birdie trail. I bet your DMs lit up with some propositions

and then you could just bloody pick them out of the water no it was a nice was there any sexy responses there were like so many people which is like yeah really it was pretty crazy i was like burly yeah there's a big trail what was the uh brand of undies oh yeah calvin, Calvin Klein. Was it Calvin Klein undies? Oh, they weren't even, what? I love how it's like, oh, it's just my old Calvins. Yeah, that was pretty good. My tradie undies are in the wash, aren't they?

My Wednesday undies are in the wash. Yeah, I was going to say, your seven-hour-a-week undies. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, we cross now to executive intern Anya in the producer's booth, who we need to talk about now because something that we've noticed happening for how long has this been going on for? Every day? It's the new job new year.

So it's since the start of the year. Right, okay. New year, new bun bun. I do notice your boyfriend who works in the same building. He will come in, just sneak in, just pop something on the desk, and Bun Bun skittles out. No, guys, we're not calling him that. It's too late.

Like a little bunny. Andrew. Like a little Bun Bunny. No. Mr. Andrew. No, because Megan has Mr. Toyboy slash Andrew. It's ADP and Andy S. It's Andy S.

The slowest goose. Yeah, you can go with that. I think you'd prefer that. Bun Bun. We're sticking with Bun Buns? After we hear this story, bun buns fit so well with this cute little gesture. It is pretty cute.

It's pretty cute. But it's unnecessary. What annoys me about what's going on. Why is it unnecessary? It's unnecessary. Okay. Every morning. Girl needs to eat.

Every morning, what does Mr. Bun Buns drop in? It's not Mr. Bun Buns. It's Lord Bun Buns. Lord Bun Buns of Paddle Town. If Andrew has to be Mr. Toy Boy, then your Andrew has to be Mr. Bun Buns. Mr. Toy Boy of Kugelville and Lord Bun Buns of Paddle Town. Okay. He brings me three pieces of Weet-Bix.

We just call them three Weet-Bix. We just call them three Weet-Bix. We just call them three Weet-Bix. Three slices of Weet-R-Bix. Now that would be different if you could buy just a loaf of Weet-Bix and you could slice off your own Weet-Bix, but this is not. The Weet-Bix only comes as the bricks. Okay, so he brings me three Weet-Bix and a little bowl.

So he works two floors above us and he has a big box at his desk, brings it down and then it's up to me to self-milk. Never say that again! Oh my God! You just said

that's the worst thing that has ever been said on this show in 16 years. Jesus. Anya. Whoa. Okay, can we... I mean, pull the milk in. Pull the milk in.

Say that. We're going to have a broadcasting complaint about that. Anya, please watch your mouth. After she's self-milked, it's time for the Webex. Um, wow. Good Lord. Wow. What time of the day does he drop these off?

Have these been delivered for the day? Um, yeah, they have. They're just here. Have you milked yet? Not yet. Any minute now. You can't milk during the show. There's no time for a mid-show milk.

Oh. Wow. Can we move on? Is there a song we can play? No, no, no. No? Okay, cool. So, you'll do that after the show is when you eat them. But he delivers them when he's obviously having his Weet-Bix.

It's unnecessary, though, because you could also have a box or bring them from home. Yeah, I could but I'm just really bad at life and I can't do that. And you guys are trying to save money, right? So he knows that if he does this, it's done. But then Megan, you were saying you find this very cute. That's the thing, like

you could bring your own box of Weet-Bix but like, it's a cute wee visit from my boss. It's allowing him to be a provider. Yeah, and then you get to say hi, give a little smoochy, and then he's off again. He doesn't really do the smooch, does he? No, but just business. Just business.

Business Bix. No business transaction. He probably doesn't want to be here when you're South Mill. Guys, can we just move on from that little faux pas? It would actually be insulting if she's South Mill right in front of him. He could milk. He's just milked upstairs before he came down. Okay, we'll just move on.

We're trying to move on. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We were just discussing in studio what kind of breasts I would have. Well, I wasn't. They think I'd have pointy ones. They think I'd have quote, weird pointy ones. I said if Fletch had them, he would have

probably treated himself to a little bit of work by now. And you said I'd have big dinner plates. Nipples. For areoles. Some people are into it. Unbelievable. There's something for everybody out there There is Everyone being shamed on my fake breasts

Your hypothetical breasts Yeah Well we were talking about breasts Because I said If I had an uncomfortable bra I'd just ditch it I think I think I would also treat myself to going

And getting the old custom fit Right okay What do you mean? What? Everybody who's had a custom fit Do you mean go on there And ask them to like properly fit you? Yeah Yeah it's not a custom fit. Right, okay. What do you mean? What? Because everybody who's had a custom fit raves about it. Do you mean go on there and ask them to like properly fit you? Yeah. Yeah, it's not a custom fit. Oh, well, you know what I mean. Like they're like,

properly, oh, sweetheart. Lisa, you've been wearing a C. You should have been in a D all along and they measure you and they get it all sorted and people always rave about that afterwards. Yeah, so we were talking about getting a, I was just like, I dig it. Getting a proper fit of bras.

This was a carry-on conversation from the producer's booth where Jared was learning from the two ladies in the producer's booth that there are uncomfortable bras. There was general underwear chat. It was all above board. No need for HR to know about this conversation. Yeah, this sounds really weird. And then Jared tells...

Jared just wanted to join in in the undie chat. That he's got lucky undies. So we're all buzzed in on the conversation because this sounds interesting. Explain the lucky underwear, Jared. At my last job, I had an unfortunate series of events happen that ended up... Oh, that just sounds like you shit yourself.

I did. You did shit yourself. I did. Did you? Jared, from experience, you never tell that story on the radio about the time you shit yourself. Yeah, God, do you remember the last time I... Do you remember the last time I shared a story like that and it was on The Herald?

Yeah. Because I shat myself on a lime scooter in Prague? Three out of the six people on the show. Yeah, I mean, that was Camp Labacta. As I always said, that was Camp Labacta. That wasn't put in the news article. You nearly shat yourself. It was just like, oh, I was just riding along.

The scooter and the cobblestones shook it out of you. Yeah, thank you. And they never put that in the story, and it made me just look like I was just shat myself. And I had a reason. Well, anyway, you had an unfortunate event, Jared. Yeah, so I shat myself at work. At work.

That's better than yours because he was at work when it happened. Was it campylobacter? No, it was hangover combo. Oh, Jesus. Early morning. Get a grip, man. And a butter chicken for dinner. Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. So I cleaned up. My work had a shower, so I used that. I threw some clothes away. And then I got a message from a Tinder girl. No. Yeah, basically telling me to come around after work. And I was like, oh, dear.

I would have been like, I've just shat myself. You've had a shower, right? How into it is she? You've had a shower. Yeah, I've just shat myself. You've had a shower, right? How into it is she? You've had a shower. Yeah, I've showered. I was cleaned. But I didn't want to rock up to her place commander. Oh, right, because you had you thrown away your underwear at the stage.

Yeah, they've been incinerated. Good call. Yeah. Okay. Don't tell me you went to the supermarket. No, even worse. I found a souvenir shop. This gets better.

Yep. Okay. They had a single pair of undies with the New Zealand flag. My man. My man over here. Whoa, my dude. Was the flag, was the whole thing a flag or was there flag placement? Imagine a pair of jockeys, navy blue, and the jockeys are the flag.

These are briefs. No, they're like the... Or a boxer. Boxer. Okay. Like jockeys, but not jockeys. Okay. And the whole thing is a New Zealand flag.

Oh, wow. And it says New Zealand on the waistband. Very comfortable. Very comfortable. New Zealand. Wow. How much do these cost? $10.

$10. That's such a risky choice knowing someone's literally about to probably see them Yep And so these are now your lucky underwear because you pulled in them I pulled and best part I wore them when I applied for this job Oh wow Okay You probably wouldn't have got the job if you'd told us about you shitting yourself at work

I would have no given you the job straight away I love that he still sees that as a positive. Yeah, wow. He hasn't been here long. We'll break him yet. Right. Wow. That's great.

So I think we've got to raise the question this morning. Does somebody have a pair of lucky undies? Like a lucky charm? Yeah. Not just to get lucky, right? All my undies look the same. I've only got one type of undie. And I just buy different colours of the same one.

Same. Because I know what I like and I get the same ones. Well, I have undies that you wear if someone's going to see your undies. And then you have undies you wear if no one's going to see your undies. Blew my mind when I learnt that females don't always wear matching pairs of like tops and bottoms. Nah, that's like in magazines. Yeah.

Like you might have the matching pair, but like you don't necessarily seek them out, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mind blowing. Well, I know that some people might have like the top tier undies, like if they're going to go on a date. Oh, yeah.

You bring out the good pair. Yeah, yeah. But then the others you just wear for work and stuff. But yeah, does anybody have that lucky pair of underwear? Is that a thing or is it just Jared? But maybe it's because it's when something good happens in that pair that they become the lucky and you become superstitious. Do you have a lot of sportsmen that are into the superstitious thing?

Correct. Like they might have their routine before a game? Yep. Or maybe you shit yourself and you had to buy a pair of undies and then something good happened and you were like, okay, $10 undies that are actually comfortable. It's you and me. All right.

Did you think about going back to the store and getting more pairs? I have considered it. Yes, do it. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast. ZM. So Megan is a toy boy Moved into a new place And the unpacking was kind of like happening

And you said nobody can come around Until I'm all unpacked I need the house how I want it And then we went into Level 3 lockdown And so we haven't been around but we were talking about The area of her house And that was when Executive Intern Anya

Pipes in with, there's a lovely skate park nearby. And we all, that is what happened. There was a silence and then a little bit of laughing started and I was like, skate park? What's going on with the skate park? Now let's reenact what happened. Oh my God.

Skate park. What are you doing at a skate park? My boyfriend Andy likes to play on it. That was the best part because she didn't say skate. She said play. Yep. And we said, well, why do you go? Well, sometimes I like to lie in the sunshine

and sometimes I like to sit in my car. And wait while he plays on the skate park. Like a mum. I hate you. I hate all three of you. Why did you say like a mum? I was sharing this in confidence between friends. Mum, can I go to the skate park, please?

Please? Oh, for God's yes, get in the car. We're not going to be there for long, though. I've only got one woman's weekly still to read. Do you ever, like, hurry him up? Sometimes. Oh, yeah. Does he go like this?

Wind down the window. Five minutes. Five minutes, please. And then we've got to go. I've got to put on dinner. You are the worst. No, it's a nice thing for the two of us to do, you know. I don't want to join him in skating but I'm like there with him in spirit.

Is he ever like, hey, watch me, watch me, watch me do this, watch me. Mum, I did an ollie. Look, mum. Watch this, watch this, watch this. Watch me. Watch me do this. Watch me. Mum, I did an ollie. Look, mum. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Are you watching? Look, sometimes I like to TikTok.

I've got my latte. It's a great little setup. You're listening to the breeze. You're doing a couple of Sudokus. It's great. I've got no interest in skating, but we're hanging out. We're spending time together We're just like

40 metres apart Yeah And I'm like Yay good one Does he ever come over And you go like The window up Because it's a cold day

And he's like You're like I fell over I hurt myself I've got a bleeding On my knee We've got a first aid kit And a couple of

I've always got Plasters in my handbag Yes Of course you do Of course you do As you come back He's like we've got a first aid kit in the car please i've always got plasters in my handbag yes as you come back he's like i'm real puffed you've got a drink for me and then he goes thank you well you're thirsty aren't you Okay I'm going to go back out there My friends are going to go

And I say Slow down your choke There's a piece of fruit In the back seat You know what happens When you drink too fast You get the coughs It's cool guys

It's not a mum son relationship It's a cool dude And cool dudette relationship Okay I'm ready to go now Do you think we can get a nice block on the road There is a dairy just down from the skate park Love a dairy

Oh my god Oh my god Loves a dairy. Don't love dairies. Side note, this happened in the kitchen yesterday. I don't know why, but in my head, I feel like you give us a lot of reviews of dairies. I don't.

Like you just like, I popped down to the dairy or I stopped at that dairy. In my head, you're always telling me about dairies and then when I voiced this yesterday, I think it resonated. I think everybody else is like, maybe when we went to the supermarket, you're like, just pop to the dairy. Oh my god. I think I need to do dairy reviews. Good lolly selection. Four stars. Bread centrally located. Milk

options, not just dairy Dale. I hate you. You're actually the word. I centrally located. Yep. Milk options, not just Dairydale. I hate you. You're actually the word. I'm a designer. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. After the show yesterday, actually, did you leave? Well, Vaughan left a little bit earlier because... You left to go and see the assembly.

Yeah. Your daughter's got leadership awards. Yep. Did you cry? I missed it up. Yep. Welled up, but stopped. I tell you what, we got asked to go up on stage as parents. Yeah. Your daughter's got leadership awards. Yep. Did you cry? Missed it up. Yep. Welled up but stopped. I tell you what, we got asked to go up on stage as parents.

The parents of the kids and the whole school did a kapa haka performance. That was emotional. Wow. Oh my god. I've never been on the receiving end of one of those before. That's so cool. I've never been on the other end of one of those before either but I've witnessed plenty but never like intentionally. Yeah, right. That was a very emotional experience.

Right, okay. So Misty Eyed. Well, you'd left. Megan and I stayed at work to do all those boring meetings that you escaped. You're welcome! So, yeah, Fleet and I, when we were about to go home... So this is some sort of revenge-y stitch-up, is it, for... No.

No, it's betrayal, actually. It's a story of betrayal. It's betrayal on your behalf. I betrayed you. Yes. Okay, go ahead. Oh, yeah, I know what it is. I've got it. I've got it. No, go on, just in case it's not that thing. If it's not that thing, let's never mention what I was about to say. So, Fletch usually walks, and I go down to the car park, which is where the mail room is. Oh, yeah, it's probably that thing that's in my car.

And Fletch says, I'm going to come with you because actually I've got something in the mail room. Yeah, we've all got something in the mail room. That's right. I got that email too. I didn't. I just go in every single day to see if I've got

any mail because it's one of the favorite parts of the day. This is what the email said. Good day. A courier has arrived for you in the mail room. Our hours are between. So Megan and I were like, well, let's go down and get the mail. What time did this come through? This was an email on Monday. So we were a bit late yesterday going to the mail room. And so we got

there and there was nothing for us. Nothing. But all the other radio shows had received the same parcel. So Megan and I looked in there and were like and that's when the... And that's when I said to the person in the mailroom, has

Vaughan been in today? And she replies, Vaughan comes in every day. He does. He's a great guy. And she replies, Vaughn comes in every day. He does. He's a great guy. And she said, he takes all your mail. Well, it must have been Monday or Tuesday. It was Tuesday. Because it was your birthday.

Yeah. It was his birthday, Vaughn. So you took something addressed to all of us and you took it home and kept it. And did not say a word. You do this all the time. You take stuff for the show and you take it home. If it's chocolate, I'd remove temptation from your life. That's my

gift to you. Because to be honest, lockdown you know, and you're always worried. You're always like, I don't want it. I'll take care of this. I'll grenade this. It wasn't chocolate though, was it? It wasn't. And you know, in total honesty, I can give my keys to someone in the producing team

because you won't trust me if I go down. It is unopened. It's in your car. It is unopened in the backseat of my car. Do you know what? This is a Vaughan Smith move. He's going to leave it in his car and wait. Just wait to see if we bring it up.

And if we don't, it's his to keep. No, I intended to bring it up. I was going to bring it up the day after, but I was bringing up that sleeping bag. And what's your excuse today? Totally forgot. There is like five unopened packages in my car. One of them's for all of us, but the other four are for me.

I just forget that I've got things in the back of my car because they're not super urgent. Well, let's tell a coyer in the future to leave your name off those packages. Run down, be a sweetheart, run down and get that. They future to leave your name off those packages. Run down. Be a sweetheart. Run down and get that. They're not doing your errands.

I'll go down and get it. We also mentioned. Akoya liked me better anyway. You guys have smelly houses. They said you're beyond how right. We left a message down there saying that you're not to take our packages in the future. I'll just stand right straight in and be like that. I'll have it.

Yeah. Well, it was her, to be honest. I've got another courier down there now. Did you guys get an email yesterday at five minutes to three? No. Suckers. I just told them to email me now regarding our group package. Flesh for an Amegan.

The podcast. ZM. Still reeling behind the scenes that these crappy $2 Frisbees are the official Frisbees that they use in Frisbee championships. I thought they would have used those rings. Producer Jared behind the scenes, dark horse producer Jared

who plays Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, I made a joke about how with Megan away, today's show could just be a three-hour Dungeons and Dragons game and he brought in the whole player's handbook and his game play's game master. He just pipes up. He's like, oh, yeah, I used to be a Frisbee champion.

No, he played Ultimate Frisbee champion. Oh, but you weren't a champion? Well, I don't know. I don't think you were a champion. Did you win anything? Never at a professional level. Just hobbies. You're telling me these crappy Frisbees you get for $2 are good.

Yeah. Why do mine always go wonky? I guess you got a limp wrist. It's a technique. Limp wrist. There's one thing we need in question is wrist strength. Well, you'll have to teach me. I had no idea we had a frisbee champion in our midst.

I'm not a champion. I'm just an enthusiast. What about those rings that you threw that were like a frisbee except they were a semi-cylinder thing and you threw them and they'd go up Oh yeah I remember those Was that the Go Long Tomo ad?

Dougie Howlett? I'm going back now to some rugby players advertising things that you throw I wasn't born then You're a senile I remember the toys of our ancestors While we're talking about Ultimate Frisbee and also our producer Jared You're a senile. I'm a boomer. I remember the toys of our ancestors. Okay, well, while we're talking about Ultimate Frisbee and also our producer, Jared,

he's the member of the show that we'd like to deal with. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Doesn't know what we're talking about. So this is in the No Jared chat. Oh, no. Which is blowing up. Now, you went on a date. Oh, yeah.

Yep. Last week. And it went well? It went very well, yeah. And now, has there been another date since? She came to my party. She came to the party. Yeah.

She met your friends. Now, is this the girl from Radio Tinder that we set you up with? No. You went on one date with her, though, eh? No, we didn't. You were hungover. No, we were hungover. So that still hasn't happened?

No. It's not going to happen now. Oh. Well, I'm not saying exclusivity, but you'd be a fool to say, what are you looking at? Don't look at my screen. Oh, no. Well, this was spotted yesterday by Privateye Henvest.

Thank you. Who was like, what's going on her? If you get tagged in anything on Facebook, Henvest, producer, executive in Dunanya, she always spots it. She's like, who's this person? Always lurking. Always having a stalk. Absolutely she is. I like to check in and say, who's this

new friend? Fletch? So yesterday, Ladbible posted a story that said UK's first vegan butcher completely sells out on first day. Customers couldn't get enough of the bacon and lobster, which are like the vegan equivalents of these meats. And our producer, Jared, tagged in, said,

date, better luck next time, champ. Now, she's a vegetarian, right? Yeah, she's a vegetarian. She's a vegetarian. So you tagged her in this story about vegans. Topical vegetarian. Yeah, bit of banter, bit of chat. It was the fact that you called her champ that made us all go,

is he at the champ stage? Do you know, does she mind being called champ? Some people hate being called champ. That was the first time I'd forayed into calling her champ. Yeah. Wow, okay. I wouldn't have thought that's for a, that's more of a something an old mate says to like

their grandson, isn't it? Or something like that. Or you say it in a real, like you say it to your mates when you're trying to knock them down. Condescending. Yeah, yeah. You're trying to be condescending. It's something I reserve for my close circle of friends like i've called um anna kiddo and champ and buckaroo she loves all of these yeah she loves it so endearing as a young woman yeah it's empowering isn't it sweetheart and i do it

to my um outside of work mates to be the alpha male. Yes, to establish. But this is just... Champ. It's just cute stuff. Is it too early for champ? I thought it would be too early for, like, other things. I thought champ was a good... Babe, will you drop a babe? I wouldn't drop a babe.

Too soon for a babe. Better luck next time, babe. Yeah, nah, too early for a babe. And she didn't say anything. She's like, well, maybe don't say that. No, no, no. She didn't comment on the champ. I think she did reply.

She said something about, yeah, bugger, she missed out because she used to live over there as well. Oh, right. So she wasn't like, yeah, no luck for me, sweetheart. No. No luck here, chief. Slugger. Better luck next time.

Yeah, thanks, pal. We would like to know off the back of, he went in early with Champ, and maybe that's the key to establishing a chummy nickname for you and your partner. We were wanting to establish a list, a definitive list of non-name nicknames, like these sorts of titles,

your Champs, your Chiefs, your captains. The girls hate being called. Because I know Megan. Oh, she was here today. The champ one, she's been called champ. She hates it. And we say it to her just to rile her up. And she always says to me, stop calling your wife mate.

Because I call Sade mate all the time. Yeah, you do. I'm like, g'day, mate. And she's like, who was that on the phone? I was like, it was Sade. She's like, stop referring to her as mate. That's your wife. I'm like, g'day, mate. And she's like, who was that on the phone? I was like, it was Sade. She's like, stop referring to her as mate. That's your wife. I'm like, yeah, but she's my best mate.

Executive Anya and Tananya, you don't like any of these terms at all, do you? I can't stand them. Which is your worst? What's your worst? Does Mr Bun Buns ever? Oh, he would dare. He'd know better. He'd know better.

Nah. Really? But there's people around. He just calls you ma'am, doesn't he? He's too scared to. Yes, ma'am. Pretty much, yeah. That's how we like it.

Nah, people around here often say bud. That drives me nuts. Bud. Yeah. So if a boyfriend calls his girlfriend bud, you hate that? Just anywhere. Like work, friends. If anyone calls me bud, I'm like.

What about when I say hi, hon? Or could you describe that hon? You don't mind that, do you? I love it. Hon, it's been interesting watching the transition of hon. Hon was a full-blown term of endearment. Yeah. And then people who didn't like hon started using it ironically,

sort of sarcastically calling people hon. And now it's the most passive-aggressive thing one woman can call another. Yeah. Oh, hey, hon. Yeah. Like, ooh most passive aggressive thing one woman can call another. Yeah, that's fair. Oh, hey, Han. Ooh, it cuts through. It really does. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast.

If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.