ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - FVM Deep Dive- Part Four

Episode Date: January 10, 2021

FVM deep dive into all the topics they want to, cause it's their podcast.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Deep Dive Podcast Special. Thanks to McCafe, buy five McCafe coffees, get one free on the Macca's app. ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan & Megan. The Podcast. And it's episode four, the final episode in our deep dive, lightweight...

Shallow paddle. Shallow touch. Toe dip. On topics. Before we're back on air on the 18th of January with our regular podcast and radio program on the ZM Network throughout New Zealand

and podcasting around the world. Kia ora. Kia ora. Executive Intern Anu, you give us a topic, a deep dive, a light paddle, a light touch on and we'll get into it. How long is too long without a shower? Oh.

Oh. You have to have a shower a day at least. Every day at least. What if it's a real push? What? Two days? When you go camping or hiking. No, no, no.

When we go camping and hiking, I'll always do the Vaughan Smith bush bath, which is where I put a steel bucket, if there is one, or some sort of steel water-holding receptacle on top of the fire, heat the water, and then take that outside and give myself a wash with a flannel and some soap. Well, that counts as a bath. Totally. And it feels great.

They are some of the nicest showers you'll have because you've been hiking all day, you're sweaty, maybe you're wet, you're clammy, your feet just want to be out of socks. Fraught with danger because those Swedish backpackers walked into the hut and saw you on the bloody balcony. That's true.

Sometimes you can find a little area to sort of fence off. I did that last time. I did warn some others. I said, if you think they're coming out the door, just avert your eyes. I'm going to be naked out there washing myself. I've been walking seven hours and rounded the corner and saw you bloody on the deck with your noodle out. Yes.

Soaping up in a national park. What an absolute treat. But I don't know. Sometimes when you're sick or you're just at home and you're just lazy. Sometimes it can feel like a lot of effort to wash yourself. No, but if you're sick, having a shower makes you feel so much better. Yeah, that's true too. One a day, min.

Yeah. Sometimes I get it like, so on Friday night I'll use like a weekend. Like Friday night I might play Fortnite with the lads. So I'm up till late and I can't have a shower now, I don't want to wake anybody up. And then the next morning I'll get up early and I'll have, I'll just chuck on some clothes and then have breakfast and just start the day. Yep. So then it might get till that night before I shower again.

So that would be over 24 hours. No, but that still counts as a shower day because you showered in the morning on Friday. On Friday and then showered in the evening on Saturday. I still count that as one a day. Okay, so a day being a calendar day, not necessarily a 24-hour period. That's still manky though.

I'm just going to go on record and say that's manky. Yeah, by the end of it, if you've been like, there's been a Saturday where you do heaps of stuff and you come in and you're like, oh, pwah. Yeah, that's a good stink. Ew.

Two days? No, absolutely not. That was's a good stink. Ew. Two days? No, absolutely not. That was the question, though. How long is too long? Two days. I feel like old bloody changes sheets over there every four months. Jared's going to have an answer for this. I shower every day.

But have you gone a stretch? Has there been a gaming tournament? I don't think he appreciates you calling him manky. What's that? D&D. You got so into Dungeons & Dragons during lockdown, you forgot to shower. I wish I had a D&D game long enough to make me forget to have a shower. Oh, really? Okay, is that a

big thing? That would be the dream, like an 18-hour D&D game. That's my dream too. Yep. Right. Has your girlfriend, new girlfriend, found out that you play Dungeons and Dragons yet? Yep. I was very open about that. She's actually interested

in playing it for a game. Yep. Really? Interesting. Pretty cool girl. Interesting. Yeah. Someone rolled a 20 on charisma.

Hey! Don't know what that means, but it sounds like a Fortnite thing. It could be funny. It's a D&D thing. Oh, okay. Roll a 20.

20 is a good score to roll on the 20-sided dice. I'm proud of myself. I don't know that. Next subject. The best year of your life. Oh, great. Certainly not this year. Not this bloody one, is it?

It's not been great, that's for sure. And some people have suffered some pretty shit things. But I think this year's been good if you compare what other people have been through and maybe you haven't compared the year for yourself. Okay. Yeah, I've had a pretty good 2020. Yeah. To be fair.

Yeah. Not that I want to rub it in anyone's face. Yeah, it's been a weird one, but I know you haven't been able to travel and that's your main love. Yeah. So you've been stuck at home. What would be your favourite year? I don't know.

Best year. I have lots of favourite years. Best year of your life. I don't have a best year. Okay. Like a best age, your favourite age that you've been. I don't know. I like 28.

I've liked all of them apart from, this year's been alright. I'd say 28 for me. I reckon that's. I like 28. I just liked all of them apart from, this year's been all right. I'd say 28 for everywhere. I reckon that's a pretty good year. So, yeah, if I could just redo last year. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. I think it changes throughout your life too because at 30 you might have been like, oh, 23 was pretty sweet. And then you get to like my age, like 32, like 38,

and you're like, oh, actually, 30 was better than 23. You think 23 was the better year, but 30 was better than 23. But then, yeah, maybe like early 30s, I think. Look, I'm a white male. It's only going to get better. It's all good. It's all good. I'm a straight white middle class male.

It's all on the up from here. Nothing's going to stop me, baby. It's sad because it's true. They're just going to keep getting better and better and better. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. Sorry. I can't. It's a runaway train.

Never coming back. You don't know. It's a hard one, but I don't. Runaway train. I don't know. That's all good. I don't really have a favorite. It's all hard one. Run away, run away. I don't know. That's all good. I don't really have a favourite. Yeah, just they're all good.

Yeah. Yeah. Things you shouldn't say during a marriage proposal. Do you remember when I dressed as a Nazi on our first date? During a marriage proposal. Things you shouldn't say. Anything mediocre like. Et cetera.

Don't say et ceterac Don't say etc We do alright eh You're alright You're alright like I love you You're real great etc Just list the things Don't say etc You'll do certainly nothing that makes it sound like you're settling

Yeah That person I really like doesn't want me back, so this will do. This is all right. Yeah. Okay. I hope this proposal was better than the last one I did. That's no good. Don't say that.

God, will you marry me as long as you don't blow out like your mum? That's probably not going to be great. No, no. I can't imagine that would go down well. Don't feel like you have to say yes. I've got other options. Yeah. Is it all right that your engagement ring's got a swastika on it?

That's probably not so great. We're stuck on the Nazi thing. We've got to check. What's the worst thing? Nazis is my first go-to. Yeah. It doesn't get much worse than the bloody Nazis, does it? It doesn't.

Pol Pot. On the same level. I would just say. You're dead right. And you know what? For a lot of people, Joseph Stalin. Yes, exactly. Evil dictators.

I'm just saying they're on the same evil level. Muammar Gaddafi. Top level. Second tier. Second tier dictator. Don't know if I know too much about him. Kim Jong. Kim Jong.

Yeah. Wait, didn't he kill his own family? Both of them. So they were being lippy? Ornan. Kim Jong Ornan. What was the other one? Kim Jong Il. Kim Jong Il Kim Jong. Yeah. Wait, didn't he kill his own family? Both of them. So they were being lippy? Onan. Kim Jong-un. What was the other one? Kim Jong-il.

Kim Jong-il. Kim Jong-sun. I take it back. Are they listening? I feel like. I love the people. Can't speak highly enough of the North Koreans. They monitor podcasts, don't they?

Is that why we just changed tack there? Yes, absolutely. So that's great regime. Yes. In fact, in my top world regimes, the North Koreans. Not a hungry mouth there. Not a... The rights of their citizens are second to none.

Yeah. Absolutely. They don't even know what a crying child sounds like. I've never heard one up there in good old North Korea. Yeah. Fantastic. Okay. Excellent.

Look forward to our week of shows from... Well, what is that? Phnom Penh. No, that's Cambodia. What's the... Pyongyang. Pyongyang. Pyongyang.

Pyongyang. Yeah. Okay. North Korea. I would actually go there. Would you go there? I'd bloody go there. It looks fascinating.

Well, not now. No, not now. I'll give it a cooling down period. Post-COVID. Yeah. Because didn't they shoot everybody with COVID? I feel like that there. It looks fascinating. Well, not now. No, not now. I'll give it a cooling down period. Post-COVID. Yeah. Because didn't they shoot everybody with COVID? I feel like that's what happened. Is that what happened?

I don't know if that was ever confirmed. It was definitely talked about, but I don't know if it was ever confirmed. Okay. Okay. You can invent an Anya next on the deep dive. Would you want a toilet strapped to you constantly, or you always really, really struggle to find one? Oh, these questions are getting sillier and sillier as we go on, aren't they?

Thank you, listeners. Struggle to find one. Struggle to find one, yeah. I have like, oh, really good. That's just called being in Europe, isn't it? Yeah. Really? But also, we have good bladders because there's like two minute songs.

We can't go to the toilet ever anymore. I've got a shocking bladder. I was driving recently and I had to look up the nearest petrol station and I ran in straight from the forecourt with closed legs to just get to the toilet before pissing myself. I'm shocking. Walking the tightrope. But the middle of my brain's like, don't you need to go to the toilet? I'm like, oh my God, I do need to go to toilet.

And then it's all over. It's once you can sense the porcelain. Because you think you make it home and you're like, I can hold it. And then you get to the door and you know you're so close. And then it starts leaking out. But you're already home, so a wee stain is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Yeah. I'm like you.

The mind just goes, turns on you. I'd be that person in a bank robbery that pissed myself. Because the moment the robbers fired the gun into the ceiling and said, get on you. I'd be that person in a bank robbery that pissed myself because the moment the robbers fired the gun into the ceiling and said get on the floor, I'd be like, I need to go to the toilet. And I'd be like uh oh. In a game of hide and seek, the minute you found the perfect place to hide

you're always like, I need to go to the toilet. Yeah. Right, so yeah, I think we'd all struggle. I'd hold on. Rather than have a toilet strapped to us. They were also very heavy. I don't want a toilet strapped to me. No. They were also very heavy. I don't know if you've picked up one.

Very heavy. Very heavy toilets. If you were a waiter and had a rude customer, what would you do? Shit in their food. I mean, that's it. Well, what about you've owned a cafe, Megan? You would have had rude customers. Yeah, but I don't, I'm too scared to do anything.

I'd wait till the rude customer went to the bathroom and I'd go back to the table to their date and be like, do you know they weren't here on a date last night dressed as a Nazi? And then I'd just leave them to it. You served more customers than me. My husband's in the room. Did you ever do anything? What do you do to rude customers?

Kill them with kindness. Kill them with kindness. Kill them with kindness. Yeah. They hate it. Yeah, they would hate it. Make you feel like a right arsehole. I used to work at a, years ago I used to work at a cafe and they would not necessarily do it on purpose, but if the steak went on the floor, you know what I mean?

Oh, that's no harm, no foul, straight back on the plate. Yeah, if they're arseholes. Yeah. Yeah, that cafe's still going. Yeah. I just don't think I'd go out. Yeah, that cafe's still going. Yeah, I wouldn't take their reservations. I'd write down their number. I'd say, no, you don't speak to my people like that. Guy.

It's too hard. You get caught. Why is there fecal matter in their food? Start crying and be like, well, why don't you just fuck off? Like really loudly in the middle of a restaurant. That'd be great. Like really overdo it. Because I'm not expecting that sort of highly emotional reaction.

Yeah. Yeah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it. You're going on a six-month holiday. You either have to be alone the entire time or surrounded by people the entire time. Align. Sorry, I just received a message on my watch and I missed the question. Six-month holiday. You have to either be alone the whole time or surrounded by people the entire time. Oh, I don received a message on my watch and I missed the question. Six-month holiday, you have to either be alone the whole time

or surrounded by people the entire time. Oh, I don't mind being alone for six months. That's so hard for me. I like being around people, but you need to recharge and have solo time. Solo. So am I allowed at any stage if I want to talk to someone to talk to someone? No. No.

Oh, interesting. But that would be rad. But you're not like – Because if they're like, oh, you're going to be alone, but you'd be like, where do you want to go? I'd be like, well, Disneyland every day for a start because I'm the only one there. There's no lions.

I've got free rhyme at the park. Yeah. It's not like you're in solitary confinement. You're in like... You can be anywhere. My friend kind of did this. He did speak to people. He biked all around Asia

and he spent two weeks cycling across China where he never saw another human being for two weeks. Oh my God. And one day he said he had a thought where he's like, do you reckon I've got malaria to himself? And he answered himself and like, you probably do. And then he couldn't convince himself he didn't because there was no one there to tell him he hadn't.

Oh, wow. He's like- Because he's going crazy. Yeah, yeah. When you're alone, Oh If you get in your If you get too deep In your own head There's no escaping it

Yeah I think I'd be People I'd go with the people option Otherwise you'd be like Tom Hanks on Castaway Yeah Go a little crazy Yeah

Get a Wilson Get a volleyball And you're away laughing Yeah What did you choose? I'd go alone Would you? 100%

Oh no You see I went alone now I chose alone now. I chose alone, but now I don't want malaria. Well, don't worry. In six months when you're still alive and you've not got malaria and you come back and see people, they'll be able to tell you you don't have malaria. Okay.

But humans are social creatures. You say that, but six months. You're going to, like, something's going to warp in your mind. I think you're underestimating how much I don't like groups of people. Am I allowed to watch Netflix? Because that's like people. Yeah. That's a loophole. No, you're not allowed

to watch Netflix. Oh, I'm not allowed to watch Netflix. Alright, so it's no entertainment other than the people. Well, yeah, I'd go people then.

Would you? Because that's too hard. I'm surprised that you'd go no people and I'm surprised you'd go people. Can I take a notebook? To write your thoughts down.

Do a Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, I can take one. I'll just write down. What's the difference between a notebook and Netflix? It's the same thing. Human interaction is sort of on Netflix, but your own thoughts. Remember you don't have malaria. That would be what my notebook was called. Yeah. Hey dummy,

you don't have malaria. Yeah. By you. How do you know you're in love? Ooh. Fanny flutters. Yeah. Hey, that's what you'd say, fanny flutters? Really? They give you the fanny flutters?

Yeah. How do you know you're on love island? I was going to say that the thought of them being with anybody else is unbearable to you. It's hot? What? What? What? What? Are you watching this? It's unbearable to you.

But then, like, you see people who carry on like that, but they, like, cheat on their partner, but then when their partner's like, well, I'm leaving, they're like, no, I can't bear the thought of you being with anybody else. It's like, well, you'll be with somebody else. Why didn't you let me watch? Yeah. I said let me watch.

Maybe it's not that. I don't know. Maybe it's different me watch. Maybe it's not that. I don't know. Maybe it's different for everybody. Maybe it's an individual thing. You don't want to be without them. Yeah. Yes. Or like that cute thing where like something good happens

and they're the first person that you want to tell. Yes. That's a good sign. Any other? No, I'll just say you two finish this. They want to watch? Is that for you? Is that what you just wrote down there?

No, I mean, I was just joking around, guys. Just joking around there to fill in the gaps. Just all jokes. Just jokes. Just jokes. You've been in love. You're so coy. Oh, look.

How's about the cheese platter? It's nearly finished. We're on episode four four and the only thing left is the blue cheese. What does that say about blue cheese? It was a big slice of blue cheese though.

I'm not eating blue cheese otherwise it would have been demoed. Yeah. Oh God, a lovely blue cheese. No, no,

not cheese. How do you know you're in love? Cheese. Cheese. If they like cheese and you like cheese and you like the same cheese that's love. That's the cheese love. Yeah. But we like the same cheese. You. If they like cheese and you like cheese and you like the same cheese

that's love. That's the cheese love. Yeah. But we like the same cheese. You and I. Yeah. What's your favourite cheese? No, but we just ate

the same cheeses and we're like, oh, yum. Yeah, only because there's three options of cheeses. What's your favourite cheese? A good camembert.

Oh, okay. No, you're a basic B. We'll never work. Wow. Okay. Wow. you're a basic B. We'll never work. Wow. Okay. Wow. I thought it was going to be like those ones wrapped in plastic. No, I fucking do.

Actually, yes, that. Tasty cheese slices individually wrapped. Yes. Tasty is the superior individually wrapped cheese slice. I don't care about the environment. Because yum, every cheese slice is yum. Fold it in half and half and half. I can't believe they haven't developed some sort of plastic wrap that is completely biodegradable yet.

You know? It's because no one's bitched about it openly. Well, I will right now. Don't, you bloody idiots. Wrap it in a biodegradable. I mean, you could put it in paper, but not the same. I'd have it in paper. I wouldn't care too much about that.

Make the packet comes in itself airtight. Yeah. And then you wouldn't need to worry too much about the paper being airtight. That's just another problem solved for 2020 by yours truly. Mark it up. What's that, 40-odd? Yeah, you've solved a lot of problems this year. I've put a lot of stuff forward.

Which is why Megan and I have put you forward for the Nobel Peace Prize. Thank you. We didn't want to tell you right now, but we have. Yep. It was a very expensive entry fee. Uh-huh. You and Donald Trump. Who will that be? A couple of great guys. A couple of top blokes.

Did you say Donald Trump or Donald Duck? Donald Trump. Donald Duck deserves a boy. He's put up with a lot. He's always been second fiddle to Mickey. Made out to be the bad guy just because he's got a bit of a temper issue, but he just wants the best for everybody there. I think it's the no pants, to be honest. Yeah, no pants.

That's why he's angry. Because Mickey got pants and Goofy got pants and a shirt. So, I mean, hogging the clothes over there for Goofy. What's he hiding? What are you laughing at, Executive Intern? Nan's ahead of Roseanne. She's got the hiccups. Hiccups.

I'm going to get rid of them. Drink water upside down. the hiccups. I've got the hiccups. I'm going to get rid of them. Drink water upside down. What hiccups? Have you ever heard about, have you heard Al's solution to hiccups? Have you ever heard that before? Vaughan, do it. Ring, ring.

Ring, ring. Hello. Ring, no, you haven't answered the phone. Hello. Hello. Hi. What are you doing for dinner? I'm having steak.

Usually it works by that stage. Aren't you supposed to say bananas? Bananas? Yeah. I thought it was like, what are you doing for dinner to take their mind off it? Yeah. What were you doing for dinner? What bananas?

What bananas? Bananas. Bananas and then you've got to confuse the brain. Anyway, that's aptly worked. Well, you can take lots of deep breaths and stretch your diaphragm, which is just contracting. That's also how you get rid of them. If you're in love, you're in love. You'll know.

It's different for everybody. Yep, righto. Reach down deep. Yep, righto, Smithy. Yep, righto. And feel the love. Are you a giver or a taker? Oh, it depends.

I give as much as I take. I take as much as I give. It's an even keel. What is this in regards to? I like to take presents, presents. Right. Oh, what is it in regard to?

Oh, it's sexual. Is it sexual? Yep. Oh, I'm telling you. But I... Piss off,

you in the corner. I, um... Oh. Yeah, no, it's pretty easy to talk about,

um, your, your sort talk about your sexual habits and preferences when Nan's having giant hiccups in the corner. I don't know. What is this give or take of stuff? No, but you'd change it up, right? I don't understand what you mean. You'd change it up. The dominant.

This is really awkward. Yes, it's very awkward. Because I've got a penis. Yeah, yeah. Well, I won't be ashamed for it. But why did you bring up the fact that you've got a penis? I can't take a penis. You can, yes.

You can, but my preference is it for taking a penis. No, but using what you have in your scenario. My penis. We understand you've got one. Are you a giver or a taker? Well, I can't take a vagina, can I? Yeah. Okay.

I'm just so confused as to the question. This is a question for, like, I can understand this thing directed at a homosexual couple. Because then there's that. Absolutely, yeah. Or should we go back to the market? Okay, back to the market. Hello.

Hello. Now, do you get the smelly wheeze with asparagus too? Well, I recently learned everyone gets the smelly wheeze, but not everyone can smell the smelly wheeze with asparagus too? Well, I've recently learned everyone gets the smelly wheeze, but not everyone can smell the smelly wheeze. I heard that too. Isn't that phenomenal? Now, are you a top or a bottom? I don't see any point developing this relationship

any further than a casual chat over asparagus before I know where you stand on sexual roles. Okay. You are a... I don't. Okay. You are a... I mean, I don't feel comfortable. You are a... I don't really know you, Sarah. I've just met you at this artisan market. We went from asparagus to... But you definitely look like a power bottom.

Me? Yes. Well read. Very well read. Very well read. I thought so. I thought so. That seems like a lovely note to... a bow on us. Would you mind not listening to our conversation? We're sitting right in front of her asparagus stand. She could now put over here this.

Yeah, but she should turn it back. I actually thought you were going to say, excuse me, would you stop eating all the cheese balls? That too. I was absolutely mocked for ordering cheese balls for this event. They've been a real rip off. I haven't had one for ages. They stained my fingers.

You're supposed to lick that off. No, not in COVID time. I don't feel comfortable with that at all. So to answer the question, I think Bourne's a bottom. I take it. It turns out I can. I just had to believe in myself all along. There I was thinking it was impossible,

but impossible is only a figment of your mind. That could be a Disney movie. Starts at an artisan. I don't know if Disney's going to want this movie. This isn't what Disney do. It's time they opened their minds about the love found at an asparagus artisan stall at the markets. Yeah.

I'm never going to look at asparagus at a farmer's market again the same. I'll tell you that much. Great money maker though. Great crop. Great cash crop. A lot of work though.

Is that us? Are we done? Is this the end of... No, you've got more. I need to go wheeze though. Well, let's squeeze out a couple more. Yeah, a few minutes.

Because I'll tell you something. We're not hitting traffic. I'll tell you that much right now. Okay. Top or bottom bunk? You always wanted top when you

were little because it seemed exciting. But then you soon came to realise that top was an inconvenient bunk. Yeah, because if we let's get back to the backcountry huts where you flash the Swedish backpackers. Bottom, because if you need to go for a wheeze in the middle of the night, you have to go down the ladder, wake up the whole hut,

and they're like, oh, who's getting up? And it's you getting down the ladder. Inconvenience. Yeah, no. Bottom bunk's just purely, purely convenience. Yeah. Boys, you say when you're a kid, it's pretty cool going to the top bunk. I spewed off the top bunk.

When I was a kid, I spewed straight into the fan. And into an oscillating floor fan. Yeah, right. We grew up in a very old house, so it was freezing cold in winter but boiling hot in summer. And yeah, I spewed into the oscillating fan. Blue fan everywhere. Who was in the bottom bunk?

My brother was in the bottom bunk. Did he get a spray? Everybody got spewed on. Fucking karma. Yeah, I know. For that fucking spew in the hotel room from Philip that time. He spewed in a hotel room the first time he met Fletchy. I dropped Philip in the hotel room because I had a hot hookup.

Don't know what Scott about it. He did, he did. Was that the Swiss ball? It was. The Swiss ball. It involved a Swiss ball. She had gymnastics trophies. I don't have the time to go into all the details here.

Was there a Swiss ball in the room? Yeah. So anyway, I ended up, this is back in the day when we had to share hotel rooms. Right, yeah. And I just dumped my brother in the hotel room because he was so drunk and he couldn't tell me his address. We were in Christchurch.

And I was asleep in the hotel room. Was I asleep? Yeah, I think you were asleep. Was I there at the time? Yeah, I think so. I think so, yeah. And then my brother at some stage spewed in the carpet and then boosted. So I wake up not knowing that Philip had even been. I think I knew he'd been there, maybe. Maybe. Yeah.

And then I'm like, well, there's a giant spew on the floor. And I'm the only one here. And I did not spew. And to this day, he's never apologised to me. Ever. I thought he did apologise at my stag do. I don't believe so. Why don't remember that? Yeah, I think he did. It was a token. It was token. It wasn't

heartfelt. No, you won't get what I said. No, it certainly wasn't heartfelt. No. Times have changed that mourns the one when we go away. It's why Philip and I have a rocky relationship. It's never been mended. The bridge has not been rebuilt.

So that's why bottom bunk. Yes. Who does better, the most popular kid in school or the smartest? I'll tell you something. All the popular kids at school, they don't seem to do that well, do they? That's a sweeping generalisation. Okay, the cool kids at school. But I was friends with lots of cool kids at school,

and they've all done pretty well. You just want a peak at high school. You don't want your cool to peak at high school. Some people want so much effort into their coolest years being high school, and then at the end are like, uh-oh. Life goes on after this. It does, yeah. For a long time.

But I had only planned on this small period of my life. And also like the really, really super smart kids that I remember from school, like a couple of them got jobs as like lawyers and hated it. Hated it. Because their whole high school experience was them being told that they should be an accountant or a lawyer or all these jobs that, sure, if you love it, you love it. But they were never, you know, born to be lawyers. Yeah. They were smart, but they also had good.

But then, yeah, they got pushed into these fields because they had the grades for it. And they bloody hated it. It's so boring. Oh, bloody guidance counsellor Smithy over here. Follow your heart. Follow your heart. Your passion. Yeah, yeah.

See if you can make someone get your passion. If not, we've got a pretty good benefit system here. So get on that bad boy. And just chase those dreams. You and I have both been on the Benny at some stage. And it was great, wasn't it? You did a chainsaw course. Yeah, I learned how to paint a fence, but I already knew,

so they let me go at lunchtime. And I did a chainsaw course, which was also beneficial, but I got top of the class for that too. Yeah. Yeah. They tried to get me to do a milk run, but I said I had a bad knee, so I got out of the milk run. But other than that, yeah, great, great time.

So I don't know who does better at it, the smartest. I think that's too much of a generalisation. It is, it is, yeah. But let's, we can definitely say that the hot ones at high school that blew out, ha. If you were hot at high school but you're not anymore, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm just standing up. I've got a sore knee. I'm on the move. ha. Ha ha. I'm just standing up. I've got a sore knee.

I'm on the move. Two cheese balls left. I'm having one here. If anybody wants the remaining two cheese balls. Is this the last question? Two more. Two more

in the final episode. Okay. Adults ordering Fanta at a fancy restaurant. Absolutely fine. We just said the other day didn't we? Oh, you had a Fanta recently. Yeah, you make what you order what makes you happy. It's got to be really cold though. Warm Fanta at a fancy restaurant. Absolutely fine. We just said the other day, didn't we? Oh, you had a Fanta recently.

Yeah, you order what makes you happy. It's got to be really cold, though. Warm Fanta's nobody's friend. Super cold Fanta. And we even had that, didn't we have the Aperol Spritz, homemade Aperol Spritz recipe? The Fanta vodka and a little bit of sparkling. That's why I'm dusty this morning.

I had a couple of Aperols last night. Aperols, yeah. Heavy on the Aperol. Good. They're yum. I want a summer drink. So refreshing. Orange.

That food colouring gets me so excited. I don't know if there's any drink that I think an adult can't particularly order at a restaurant. I don't particularly love ordering. A traffic light. Yeah. I don't like ordering fizzy at a fancy place though. I feel like there is judgement cast. Oh, like a fancy place, though. I feel like there is judgment cast. Oh, like a fancy place.

Yeah. If you're like, can I have a Diet Coke? And they're just like, and snatch the wine list off you. But they might have like a flash, low sugar cola. They'll be like, actually, we don't have those, but we have this. And then you get to be like, yeah, okay, I'll take that. That's why I always byo phantom just put it in my purse yeah take your own if you think that i'm gonna have some of those yeah fancy

places work take us i don't have phantom so it's just good to have it under the table byo phantom i'll just have a double shot of jet on the rocks i'm straight up gonna piss myself do you want to take a little time well you start you go start. You go. I've got a very healthy stress. That's all right. The toilet is right by this lounge. As we just previously heard, you can't hold it. It just happens. Next question.

That's waiting for you at the mic there, Megan. Oh, no. I was just going to stay quiet and see if we could hear. Well, he's left his mic here, so he hasn't taken it, so we won't hear. Yeah. Okay. Look, I'm having the taken it, so we won't hear. Yeah. Okay, look, I'm having the last two cheese balls. Should I go hold it up to the door? Next question.

Hopefully just in a hurry. Well, yeah, because we don't want to be stuck in traffic, do we? The best smells in the world are. Oh, okay. Oh, the best smells. Oh, like cookies baking? Oh, yeah, okay. Because that's what smells. Oh, like cookies baking? Oh, yeah, okay. Because that's what they say when you're selling your house.

Like bread or cookies. Yeah, cookies or bread. Yeah. He's done. What? No, he's just flushed the toilet. He's just flushing. I love the vanilla coconut candle.

That's delicious. You like the pine candle? I love the pine candle.. That's delicious. You like the pine candle? I love the pine candle. The scent of your other half. Right. Like pre-gym or post-gym? Oh, no. No gym.

Like when they're smelling nice, not sweaty. Vaughan's just joined us. The best scents in the world. The best scents in the world. I heard vanilla. How was your wizzle? The wizzle was great. Smell of asparagus.

Even though we've only hypothetically been to an asparagus market. Oh my God, because we went to the market. Yeah, but hypothetically. Best smells in the world. What about like hot chips? Sometimes that can really hit the spot. Yeah, that's a hot smell. That can really hit the spot for a bit of smell.

Candy floss? Yeah, lots of food-based, non-food. The hot air that comes out of a hot smell. That can really hit the spot for a good smell. Candy floss. Yeah, lots of food-based, non-food. The hot air that comes out of a vacuum cleaner. What about... Jet fuel at the airport. Oh, and you like Vivids. No, those are whiteboard markers. The smell of your childhood home.

Mine are all cute, and yours are like Vivids. They smell. Yeah, my childhood home was Vivids. Megan's a memories and yours are solvents. This does not paint a good future for me, does it? No. No. No.

Yeah, when it rains on like grass or asphalt. Concrete. Concrete. Concrete's hot and dry and then it rains on it. Yeah. It does that crackly noise too that sounds a little bit like cicadas. Rain on a hot vivid. Rain on a tank of Avgas.

Rain on the tarmac when you walk into the plane. Some freshly baked Avgas. It is weird when we're walking the tarmac and you're huffing the jet fuel. You're like, that's good stuff. It's a good smell. Lawn clippings, freshly cut lawn clippings. Oh, yeah. Right before you sneeze.

Yeah. That's good business. I said the baking. That's a good one. Yeah. Cinnamon. Cinnamon things. Yeah, cinnamon things. Cinnamon. That's good business. I said the baking, that's a good one. Yeah. Cinnamon. Cinnamon things. Yeah, cinnamon things.

Cinnamon's an underrated scent. Earthy. Yeah, earthy scent, old cinnamon. Yeah. Baby's head. Ah, tar trucks. When they're doing roadworks, tar trucks. Baby's head, tar trucks.

Don't mix those two. No, absolutely not. Don't mix those two. No, absolutely not. Don't mix a baby's head with a... What was that? Oh, it's Siri. Siri just interrupted. Did you all Siri go at the same time? Yeah, someone must have said something. Oh my god, we've got Apple Watches and Siri on our wrist.

Hey Siri. Yeah, that's a good list of cents there that we've just rocked out and that's us. We're done. That's the Deep Dive seriesents there that we've just rocked out. And that's us. We're done. That's the deep dive series for summer 2021. We'll be back on the radio on the 18th of January on the Monday, New Zealand time. Megan's just smacked herself in the mouth with the microphone.

Went that whole time. Excellent. Just dropped it now. Technically, we haven't taken annual leave. This is great. No, we've worked all the way through. We've worked all the way through holidays. Yeah.

There'll be... And you've still got the hiccups. Oh, Nan. Why are we in? Because of the hiccups. I don't know. Do young people not get hiccups? Not anymore, man.

Not anymore since the hiccup vaccine. Did you not get the hiccup vaccine when you were a kid? Oh, man. We've got an anti-vaxxer in the house. We do. Any thanks for listening for the year? No, you don't want to say thank you to the watchers? Well, they should be saying thank you to us.

Thank you for listening to this dribble. Thank you. Yeah, fantastic. We appreciate it. We do. Thanks for providing it. I'll speak on their behalf. Thanks for providing it.

Will Christmas have passed? Oh, yeah. I hope you had a bloody lovely Christmas. It's New Year's. It's 2021. I hope you had a lovely New Year.

God I hope there hasn't been another lockdown. Imagine that. You don't even bloody say it please. Well he said it now. I noticed you didn't

have a bloody QR code on your front door. How are you going to fucking trace us? Loose. F-poster seats? Have you purchased anything since we've been here?

No, I haven't purchased anything here at all. To be fair, you're in my bubble. I'm locked in the studio with you all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh well, that'll do. Ta-ta. How do you get your shelves floating? How are those shelves floating on the wall? The brackets on the back of the shelf are drilled and held into the joists and the studs on the wall.

Yeah. I wish the listeners could see that because that is some David Copperfield shit right there. It looks great. You haven't even seen it in a corner like that. That looks fantastic. It really does. Great stuff. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And music lives here. ZM.