ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - NSFW: ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan International Podcast Special - Part Four

Episode Date: April 23, 2018

WARNING: CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan present the International Podcast Special.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. Bell. Cheers Madonna and cheer. Sending my IPSO from the UK, been listening to you guys for a few months, non-stop and love you all. Thank you for all the giggles and new random facts. Some of them shit. I live in New York, yes the town with the Viking poo and the museum. I did six months in New Zealand in 2010.

To fully immerse myself in New Zealand culture, I worked as an extra on Shoreland Street. We've done that. Wow. Yeah, it's great fun, eh? It's boring AF. It's a lot of waiting around. How much did they pay you for that?

Like $20 a day? Yeah, but it's like pretty cool. You do it once just to take it off the bucket list. Yeah. I had an awkward day there when my then boyfriend dropped me off and said love you out the car window as he drove away. What? Wally Wees. It's his house.

He does raise a good point. It's his house, Caitlin. It is. I yelled I love you and turned around to see Ben Mitchell turning around and staring at me confused thinking I yelled it at him

instead of explaining what had happened I just went red and we had an awkward day of scenes together in the emergency department with him thinking

I was a stalker oh well you guys have made me miss New Zealand and I'm trying to make it back soon enjoy your time off and have an incredible wedding oh thank you

thank you do you want to do another one? I'm going to lose my voice Edward Garland is next oh these emojis yeah I'm fucking peaking on those espresso martinis I'm telling you the Vaughanworth homemade Espresso martini,

it's not for the faint of heart, but it'll fucking put a bit of pepper in your stick. I've never smoked speed, but imagine this is what it's like. Do you smoke speed? What do you do with speed? So you just rub it on your gums or something? No, you smoke speed. No, you smoke pee.

You don't smoke weed. You smoke pee. Speed? What do you do with speed? Surely you could just put it on your gums. You don't smoke weed. You smoke pee. Speed? What do you do with speed? Surely you could just put it in a glass jar. It's just a powder. You snort the speed. No, I'm pretty sure you can smoke speed.

Do you smoke Google? Do you smoke speed? Oh, good, because I go, can you smoke speed? No, because I heard of a story a guy, a kid showed this person how to smoke it out of a light bulb. Can you smoke speed in a crack? Speed? Yeah.

Is it dangerous to smoke speed? Smoking speed. Has anybody smoked speed? You can smoke speed. Is smoking speed a problem? What's the best dangerous to smoke speed? Smoking speed. Has anybody smoked speed? You can smoke speed. Is smoking speed a problem? What's the best way to do speed? Is it smoking it? So, thank you.

You can smoke speed. Okay, yeah, right. Granted, I did make a mistake. That's not what I meant. So, what's the one you can finger up your butt? Any of them. All of them. Any and all of them.

Panadol. Ranging from Panadol to cocaine, it can all go up your anus. To Skittles, to Sniff Diz. Oh, don't have a Skittle up your bum. Christ, anyway, you've not had a red Skittle till it's been up your bum. Yeah. It's a Skittle as God intended it. Straight up the bum hole.

Yeah, right. Grab one of each colour, James. Is that what you're doing, James? He's going to shove a handful. Be right back. Ah, where were we after? Edward Garland. Edward came into...

Yeah, we... This one, actually, I think this is in here twice. Because... Yeah, Edward sent... This is Edward that we talked about before, that he came in with his lovely wife. Oh, he did, yeah. To the studio.

It's just a motorbike going past. Oh, fuck me. Those are disgusting Ugg boots. Where are your Ugg boots? Are they here? No, they've been shipped. Are they Ugg boots or are they simply winter boots that you're calling Ugg boots

even though they're not of the Ugg brand? Are they emu boots? No, they're of the Ugg brand and they're like an ink navy colour. Can you show? They're short navy ones. Oh, fuck your trashy sometimes. That's fine.

They are at an at-home boot. Oh, yeah. That'd be fine for an at-home boot. You said no. You said you'd go to the supermarket. Like, at a push. If I need eggs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sunday morning. You don't just need eggs. Sunday morning egg run. Yeah. Sunday morning egg and bread. Yeah, no. You and I both know if you need eggs you just get Uber Eats You should never run to the supermarket

No I'm saying if I was baking As we said they're acidic for athletes foot They get sweaty They don't dry You'd almost have to park them in the hot water cupboard every night James was very concerned about my podiatry I've got some Lamisil Some cream

I use it almost preventatively. No, you shouldn't do that. Do not. No. Do not use Lamisil as a preventative. Use it when you need it. You don't put it on as medicine. No, I put it on as a preventative measure.

You don't use it as medicine in case you need it. That's like, oh, I might take a Panadol every day in case I get a headache. It's a cream. It's a cream. If you need it. No, I don't want to. You build up a resistance. A Lamisil resistance.

No, because once you get at this point, it's too late. What's the Lamisil doing? This is why we've got a super... It's not protecting you. It's protecting athletes

from getting a foothold. This is why we've got a super chlamydia. It's people like you. I'm not taking antibiotics. I'm taking a fucking Lamisil cream. Guys, I don't think that's...

The fact is you cream preventatively is what we're saying. No, but I use it in case. You shouldn't do that. No, you're... I wear a big boot in winter with a thick sock. I don't... It's absolute...

What is the other name for athlete's foot? Tinia? Tinia. Tinia. Tinia, yeah. Oh, it's the same thing. I'm prone to tinia. I don't like it.

It's horrible. It's very itchy, very sore. Tinia is where your skin breaks away from your toes. That's athlete's foot, isn't it? It's athlete's foot. It's very itchy, very sore. Tinea is where your skin breaks away from your toes. That's athlete's foot, isn't it? It's athlete's foot. It's the same thing, Megan. And they're seminiminums. No, but I get that.

Let's Google, is athlete's foot the same as... My toes are webbed. And you don't dry your feet properly in the shell. I'm a... Jock itch, athlete's foot, and ringworm are all types of bungalow skin infections known collectively as tinea. So, hang on. They're caused by a fungal called dermatophytes, which live on the skin, hair, and nails and thrive in warm, moist areas. So, tinea is the umbrella.

Athlete's foot, jock itch, and ringworm fit under it. Now, I didn't know ringworm was in that family. Yuck. Yeah, but do you actually dry it between your toes after an epic shower? Yes. That's fucked. You've got too much time on your hands. I've got places to lay.

I am prioritising my time spent. Cesar Millenio who was just fitting out a fake lounge with a... With a fucking yuck teal green shit house lounge wear that looked like Air New Zealand accidentally ordered in the 80s. Got to the Air New Zealand lounge and a young Rob Fyfe was like, get the fuck out. Take that shit, fuck right off. It's not fair though because my toes are webbed so they sweat.

But then... My toes sweat too but they're not webbed. Do they? I'm just a sweaty person. It always surprises me when I see Megan's toes. The left one's worse. They're so short. Chas, have you seen her toes?

I would describe your toes as stealthy. That one's webbed almost to the top. No, it's only because of the webbing. Shut up! She looks like a duck. Shut up! You know what? That is years of putting them in high heels.

Life is like a hurricane. No, but it comes from the male side of my family. No, you don't row the toes. You're like an old Chinese woman that wore those shoes. No, hey, that's from the male side of my family. Did you not read that book? Their shoes got, their feet got wrapped. Duffy.

It was a long play. I played a long theme song for that. Bianca Lamb. High FEM plus all the besties in the producer's booth. Shout out to Elaine and Ben who are getting married on the 16th of December and the reason we're on this big trip. We've spent the last few days in San Fran en route to Ireland for the wedding. I've got a headache, but I think you're mainly responsible for this.

Katlyn, can I have a bit of the cheese, please? That real yum cheese? Which one? I've got it in my handbag. Yeah, but maybe a bit more, and then wrap it up in that meat there. Elaine is Irish and has a great accent. Before spending Christmas and New Year's in Niseko

with one of my true loves snowboarding, and of course to spend it with my brother, whom I haven't seen for the holidays in a few years due to him chasing winters around the world. I've committed to gramming at least once a day at BeanzGram B-E-E-N-Z Gram. Here's what I had to say about it.

Bianca is adventurous as fuck. So many rad pics out and about doing things. But Bianca also needs a shout out to her beautiful fur babies. Humphrey Roo, which are rabbits. Oh, that's a cute name. Humphrey and Roo. Two rabbits.

Two names. XO XO Gossip Goat. James, what time do you have to exit? I'm just wary that you've got a flight to catch. Nine pages to go, dudes. We're going to punish this guy. I reckon we've got another half hour in it.

Easy, mate. I'm just going to go wheeze break. Sorry, guys. Wheeze, wheeze, wheeze. We'll just wait. Can you shut the door? Oh. No, when he goes wheeze, can you shut the door? Oh, I shut the door. Open me if I could turn back time.

If I could find a way Fletch hasn't gone wheezy. He can't leave the chair. Oh, it's such a bad song. Take your headphones off. You're going to hurt yourself. And if I could reach the stars I'd give them all to you And you'd love me

Can we talk momentarily on a serious note how much of a lightweight drinker Fletch is for a dude of his size and age? I know. Oh, you've unplugged. Also, for the amount he drinks. He likes to drink in the weekend. He drinks a lot. All the time.

I don't even drink every week, and I can handle it better than he can. That's saying something. Well, he drank more than you. He did drink one of those espresso martinis in R.A.M. He was boozed before that. He was boozed on his first gin. Maybe he's excited for something tonight. He has been on his phone.

He has been excited about something tonight. I'll find out because we talk like girls. Should I go and talk to him in the toilet now? He has been excited about something. I'll find out because we talk like girls. Right, right. Should I go and talk to him in the toilet now? Stand at the door and be like, Hi, guys. What's up?

Then he'll know that we've been talking about it. He's been gone for a long time too. Has he fallen in? Or does he have an excessively large bladder? Does he sit? Is that it? Oh, there's the flush. I've heard the flush.

He's given that a half flush. It's good when you know your own toilet, which is good. I tuned that. I tuned the half flush for a very small flush. You can tune a flush. I don't know if you guys know. No, I tuned it. I tuned it for a half flush.

You gave it a half flush. But if you want to give it a butter. Yeah, but you've got to hold them down for longer. I tuned the half flush. Weird toilet. If we're to stay for longer fl Fletch, is that all right? Do you have any plans tonight? No, I'm meeting Bree and Danny for the Killers tonight.

That's what I'm organising. I heard you fuckers talking. I'd just say if I was going out to, you know, whatever. No, you wouldn't. No, but I was just worried about James because I'm worried about traffic. Oh, cute bunny purse, babe. Yeah, this is mine. What have you got in your bunny purse?

Some Shopkins? Some Shopkins. That's where I kept my Shopkins. You've got all your collectible Shopkins. I think this is Indy in August. Yeah. The bunny purse. Next up is Helen Archer.

International podcast. Shout out. Sorry, Caitlin, can I just request another ham wrapped with- That was fucking gross. a cheese wrap with ham? That does look gross. You want to try one? I won't. I'm stoked that other blue cheese is finished because that was a dangerous thing to have around the house.

I reckon I could go that half a beer stick though, Caitlin. Can you toss me that beer stick? They're not very flavoursome. They're mild AF. No, they're not spicy at all. I'd say mild. Yeah, toss. Sorry, shut up.

This must be so boring to listen to. Let's move on. Helen Archer. I want to give a special shout out to Helen because Helen was, when we were back at our old jobs at the Edge, Helen- What the what? Oh. We don't say it.

God, I'm going to be scared of the fucking name of it. Helen sent the most lovely message and I actually printed out and I had it on the inside of my locker and it was genuinely... Oh my god, I remember that too. I think the email received, it was a turning point in the career. It was a beautifully worded email.

Helen had experienced some loss and she just wrote the lovely words about the show and to me I remember it very, very fondly. Helen writes, Hi, guys. How the hell are you? I hope you had a good break over summer.

My partner's daughter, Kimbra, is back down on the ice. Now, we were talking about Kimbra as well. Kimbra's this crazy adventurer. She drove tractors on the Antarctic ice. Do you remember we talked about Kimbra before? Oh, yeah. She's back down on the ice for her second season working at the Union Glacier.

She's having a fantastic time, even better than last year. We love hearing about her adventures in the emails. She's such an aspiring young woman. And like Vaughn, her dad, Chris, is often reduced to proud tears when he reads her emails about what she's been doing. And if I may, I'd like to say a quick thank you to Chris. As you know, I lost my husband in 2011,

and you guys helped me through by making me laugh again. And for that, I'll always be grateful. Now, that's kind of what the message was about back in the day. I'll never forget it. It's one of my fondest memories. Chris and I have been together for three years, and he has truly helped to heal my broken heart. He's a patient, kind, and loving man.

He always makes me laugh my ass off, and he loves my dogs as well, and her dogs are very special to her. I feel so lucky to have him in my life. I could go on, but anyway, awesome. Thanks for the shout out to the loved ones. Thank you very much. Keep up the show and please, I'll say again, come to Fiordland and visit.

And we will. One day. That's like one of the last places in New Zealand that I haven't been. Now that I'm on the west coast, grey mouth and that, Fiordland's like the last corner of New Zealand I haven't been to. Abby Bradford messages again.

The rock lawyer, Abby Bradford. This is her second. She's like, where's my other one? Yeah, she's just like, fuck it,

I'm going to keep seeing it until they read them out. Quick international podcast, shout out coming at you from the airport in Melbourne on the way home from an epic New Year's trip with my gal pal Missy

to Seminyak and Gilly Tea in Bali. So she probably had a photo on that swing that all you basic bitches that go to Bali have had a photo on. Stomping off at a wedding on the way home.

We had that day, aren't you? Were there people lined up? Caitlin's had a Ghillie T swing photo. When you did your Ghillie T swing? No, I was in the wrong one and I was in the half

in the water, remember? Oh, yeah. Caitlin went on the shit one. There's like three of them but one of them's the legit one I was just too heavy and sunk down No No

I love how passionate we all were No I won't have you talking about yourself Have you seen how much cheese I've eaten this afternoon? We've all eaten a lot of cheese That Poohoi cheese is nearly all gone What brand? Poohoi

P-U-H-O-I Wonderful cheese And thanks again to Rawiri Fletcher at Goodmanfield for hooking up the cheese today. I'd like some baked beans next time. I don't know if Goodmanfield do that. Are there Heinz? Is that the same thing?

They do bread and Ernest Adams. They do a huge range of food. Imagine some delicious slices next time. Raw, next time. You said that was mild. That was quite a spicy beer stick I had. I told delicious slices next time. You said that was mild. That was quite a spicy bear stick I had. I fucking told you it was spicy. No, the ones I had had no flavour.

No, these ones have got a strong... Oh my god, have I burnt my tongue on those burger... No, on those cheese balls. It killed you. Killed your taste buds. I love that. Abby said I didn't get a bintang singlet, but I did get many $10 massages

which is a real treat had an absolutely epic time and I'm feeling the back to work blues coming on already life is currently pushing me punishing me with crying babies on a plane

and old people in front of me in the security line Fletch you would not be happy oh I texted you the other day didn't I after I got back from Melbourne this baby cried the whole way oh yeah

I didn't hear it because I had noise cancelling headphones on from Bose. But people around me looked so upset. You've got to do something. You've got to try your best. And a lot of parents

do try their best. Oh, you can see the poor woman was just like, oh, she just didn't look anyone else in the eye. No, she... We've been... You know what I'm saying.

Caitlin, what are you doing? For fuck's sake. It was actually the wind. It's probably for the best. And I feel really bad for the Smiths because we've created a lot of mess. I don't think you're leaving without cleaning it up. Wish me luck.

Well, the cleaner will take care of this. Who's the cleaner? You. Probably. Well, I was going to be cheeky, but now it's probably going to be me. Wish me luck on the way home. If this shout-out doesn't make sense, blame it on the streamer kids. Quick shout- going to be cheeky, but now it's probably going to be me. Wish me luck on the way home. If this shout out doesn't make sense, blame it on the streamer, kids.

Quick shout out to my podcast spouse, Guni, Justine, and Rachel. Love you, team. Abby, the rock lawyer, Bradford. Natalie Jackson, I'm going to request an IAPSO. I'm currently sitting in the Nairobi airport after spending Christmas with my family in Kenya, where I was literally on safari. When? Oh, I was on safari in Kenya.

What was the name? They didn't spot producer Caitlin, though. She said, I know what Caitlin's like, and I didn't spot it. Shout out to the girl band who are big fans. Sophie and Claire are having an absolutely amazing time in Europe. Although the time this gets read out, you'll probably both be back in New Zealand. And to Beth and I can't wait to get that gorgeous naked pictures.

I can't wait for you to get that gorgeous naked mole rat face back to Wellington. Mole rat? You must have literally just been there at the same time, Caitlin. Just missed them on safari. Oh my god. How amazing. Asante sawa na kwaheri. Yeah, kwaheri. Goodbye and thank you. Yeah.

Asante sawa na kwaheri. Thank you very much. Thank you and goodbye. Goodbye. Tobias King, what up? I'm drunk, which is the perfect time to do any sort of public speaking. My name is Tobias.

Tobias. Toby at the top and then Tobias. My name is Tobias, although no matter how hard I try, people always call me Toby. So hi, my name is toby i dedicate this shout out to some great people tessa and aisha um hi bitches i love you tessa i think you are so beautiful when you smile and there's so much that i don't know about you but all the same you're my girl aisha every time i see you your eyebrows are even further on flake and you

look stunning how was it done i also forgot that it was you and Briar that were there with me on the strange Christian river rafting trip. Anyway, I'm so grateful you were there. This is a bit of a DNM really from Tobias, but I appreciate it. On a completely different note, unrelated to previous paragraph, if you ever need to, I'm sure we could get to the bottom of this show's secret. I live in Auckland Central and I'm a uni student. We lulled at that, don't we?

Side note, will the show's secret ever not be a show's secret and how much of this will I remember? Tomorrow, I don't know. Goodbye, Tobias. Thank you, Toby Tobias. Thank you, Toby Tobias. Melissa Ansel, yo. Fletchford Megan Caitlin

James 2.0 and intern on your long time listener first time Ipsowa Love listening to the podcast when going to sleep

much to the disgust of my boyfriend Mark who likes to go to sleep in silence Who the fuck does that? Anyway we are currently on our second long haul flight in three days

making our way to Europe Mark is a giant and struggling with the limited leg room but I'm a short ass so it's all good. Isn't it weird how excessively tall guys often do go out with really short girls? And what does that say about penis size, Caitlin?

Short girls, penis size, small penis. If you're a girl. No, if the guy's tall. No, but if the guy's really tall. Oh, well, I don't know. But you think throwback to small penis. It was an opinion piece. And opinion pieces should never be printed.

What was his grandad like? She doesn't go into his grandad's penis. Oh, okay. Highlight of our two and a half day stopover in Houston was going to an NBA game and sitting up in the nosebleeds. Americans really know how to do sport. We're having Christmas in Denmark and then New Year's in Dublin with my bestie Lou and her boyf,

followed by a massive loop around Europe. Then I'm most likely going to cry like a little baby at the airport when I come home towards the end of January, schoolteacher life, because Mark's staying on for a few more weeks to hang out with the boys and go watch Rally Sweden. Shout out to Anna Rankin, the only person I know who's part of the Ipsos family. She's awesome at badminton, by the way.

Do you think she knows Christine Rankin, former wind head? She might be related to her. With the big earrings? No, no, that's what I think of her. Christine Rankin. Hold on, let me look up Anna Rankin on Facebook and then I'm going to search in her friends

for Christine Anna Rankin. This is just some, if you've never done some basic Facebook stalking. Physiotherapist? Oh, hold on. That might be her there. That doesn't look like Christine. It doesn't look like her mum's Christine.

Doesn't that look like it? That's enough stalking. I'll save that for later. Sorry again for the ramble. Love your work. Keep up the podcast. And to add onto the episode Oh my god

The boyfriend got down on one knee And became the fiancé Happy news Happy news We've got an engagement I love when there's an engagement announcement And the podcast shout out Locked in that dick Caitlin

Yes Locked in the dick Yeah Put a pin on it Put it in the hotel safe Put in your own pin. Press hashtag. No one else getting that dick but you.

Is that Mark? And hotel management. Or the cleaner that has the pin number. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do the cleaners have the pin number? Yeah, sometimes there's an override. But they're in the room. They shouldn't have it.

It should be management only. No, there's a five zeros override on most of those hotel safes. A five zeros override? Yeah. FYI. Oh, I'm going to try that next time I'm there. Yeah, Mark. Mark and Melissa.

Oh, he sounds like he doesn't like us much though. Cause he likes to go to sleep in silence. He likes to go to sleep in silence. Oh no, that doesn't. No, he just wants to go to sleep in silence.

I get that. Uh, Anna Hamilton is next for a podcast. Shout out, a long time listener. First time podcast. Shout out. I finally getting around to send this after a year of sitting in my drafts folder.

However, things have changed so much in the last year, I feel like I should change the subject matter. I initially wrote this as I was flying to Europe with my now ex-boyfriend. Oh. Not fiancé. We had a fab time travelling to eight countries in the space of three and a half weeks in late 2016. I was going to dedicate the shout out to him.

However, after our trip, he decided one time in Europe wasn't enough and started planning another trip, but he neglected to tell me. Fast forward to June last year, and I came home to find all of his things gone, and he'd gone on a two-month bender with his best friend, deleted me off all social media, and I haven't heard from him since. Oh, my God. Okay, I feel like this should be a talked-about topic next week on the show. What a fucking asshole.

Fair to say, after three years of being together, I was more than a tad surprised. Not like six months. Three years. Three years. Am I a bad person? Who does that? What a piece of shit. What a fucking animal.

You guys have got me through some pretty rough times. I want to say thank you for the podcast and Inspired Me to Study Radio at uni, even though I now work in marketing as anybody who works in radio that actually wants to be paid decent money

does end up doing shameless answer plug Annabeth Hamilton that's Anna Beth Hamilton hope she deleted

all traces of that piece of shit I've written here it's a private account so I could see nothing I love that you wrote your future self notes. Yeah. How handy is past Vaughan to future Vaughan?

I'm really proud of him because he's a lazy son of a bitch. And if you guys scroll down a bit, you'll see that you guys featured when I came in to visit you in the studio one morning a few years ago. Definitely a highlight, and it was nice to see that you guys are just as lovely in person as you seem on air. Thank you. I'm glad we kept up the ruse. All right, guys, got another fucking visitor. Pretend you like them. in person as you see him on air. Thank you. I'm glad we kept up the ruse.

Alright guys, got another fucking visitor. Pretend you like them. Pretend you're happy. Oh hey! Oh my god, nice to meet you! Oh my god, you're in the podcast family. Oh yeah, great to have you. And then they leave and we cry.

And then we cry. And rock in the fetal position. Nah, just jokes. We're honoured that any of you would give us the time of day. Honoured. Just teasing. Bitch, you should be the most honoured. Steve Lowe.

Like, no offence, but Fletch and I are eights. Look at Caitlin. Do not speak about my friend like that. Bitch, you're an eight too. See how quickly she turned on you? She's not an eight. She's a four. Fuck.

What's who? Because of her bald patch minge. She was a six. No, it's a good thing. She's got ringworm. She's got ringworm. No, but you're patchy, not bald. No, I'm bald. But then when it grows back, it gets patchy.

I was going to say alopecia on your vagina. Sponsy vaginal alopecia. You can get pills for that. Do I have to show you what I mean? Caitlin needs a merkin. She needs like on the, what was that, the push. You know how they implanted the hairs bit by bit in the fake tummy. I like having a vagina that has no hair.

Can we just momentarily touch on this? Just thinking about hair implants. As a bald man, I don't think about it. We won't judge you. No, if I was going to get anything, when I was younger, I would have got that tattoo. So you still shave your head, but it looks like you've got the hair to your hairline.

But then your middle hair Is not there anymore No no no But you get Then you go back And get the tattoos Oh right You get all the dotty tattoos Josh Kronfeld

Have you seen Josh Kronfeld lately? No Once upon a time A proud bald brother I think he's working Hair implants From the back forward Really?

Or he's just growing it out No hatred No judgement But I just No Because he grew it out At one stage And it was wispy

Right I saw him on The Crow Goes Wild the other night And I was like Hmm, Josh Kornfeld You've spiked my interest Because hair doesn't grow back once it's gone Is it Ricky Gervais in his latest stand up Where he talks about people that get hair implants

Just out of nowhere Bored brothers They come back And no one talks about it But everyone knows Yeah, it's just You you get used to it. You just don't give a shit. You shave your head every second.

That's a pain in the ass. But, oh, that's why I'd like to mention shaving sponsor of the show, Redken here. No, they're not. A courier arrived earlier in the shout outs. I'm looking forward to trying this because I've heard great things about the shave cream. What's that?

Beard and skin oil. Great. Great to try later. Steve Lowe is next year podcast shout out Steve is a teacher and doesn't want to be stalked

by students the lockdown profile and the fake last name currently on a train to Poznan from Warcrow which is

in Poland 10 points to Gryffindor if you can pronounce Warcrow without Google translation I've been here five weeks and five days in the Czech Republic snowboarding in Spindlerivmir. Go the Czech.

The shout out is J. Megan. Yeah. You speak a little. Would that be, how would you say, row claw? Let me see. With a W. Well, Megan's not a fan of the Czech Republic people. She doesn't appreciate the culture. Oh, Megan's not a fan of the Czech Republic people. She can appreciate the culture.

Oh, I don't know. She's all like, yeah. Megan's tasted on the entire nation by that. It looks. She's wrong. It'll be way different than what it looks like. Oh, that's their trick, eh? Ahoy.

Nastraví. Oh, we should go Nastraví. That's cheers. If you want to read about a guy with the biggest balls ever, you can look up a guy called Wiltod Pilecki. The guy was a Pole who purposely got caught by the Nazis so he could be sent to Auschwitz. He then attacked the SS guards in there, organized resistance inside their camp, then escaped and was put to death by the Russians for being an enemy of the state.

Wow. God, I'm glad I don't live in those times. Christ, what a time to be alive. Emma Bendel is next to her podcast. Shout out. Thanks, Steve. I I don't live in those times. Christ, what a time to be alive. Emma Bendall is next to her podcast. Shout out. Thanks, Steve. I'm an Aussie living the dream. I personally remember this.

This is a great podcast. Shout out. I'm an Aussie living the dream in Whitehorse in the Yukon Territory in Canada. I've been here since 2017 in April. I love it up here. The summer was incredible. The Yukon has so many beautiful lakes, mountains, and unexplored bushland and wildlife. It's a literal wet dream for anyone who loves spending time

in the outdoors. I spent my summer working at a tourist attraction with dog mushers and husky puppies. Oh god, I would have melted. Near a town called Cart Cross, which is between Whitehorse and Scragway, Alaska. Hiking.

Okay, your cat... Go there, go there. Our cat has absolutely... Oh, no. Your cat has fucked the... That's just the latest in the... Our cat's fucked the curtains. It climbs it.

They're little... Nice curtains. He did so well. He got nearly right up the curtain. So I wouldn't have done it any other way. I spent a lot of time in southeastern Alaska too, which is almost as beautiful as the Yukon. Shameless Insta plug,

and I recommend everybody here looks this up because my goodness, she's still working at the Husky place last time I looked. Right. M, which is E-M-M, bends, like bending things. Bending metal. Okay.

E-M-M-B-E-N-D-S. Here's Passmore's edit. Holy shit. Great photos. So many cutest's Passworn's edit. Holy shit. Great photos. So many cutest fuck sled dogs. Doggies. So cute. Yeah, she works with like huskies and marmalutes and bears and all sorts of amazing things.

Oh my God. I actually sent you guys. Oh, sorry. There's a little puppy. It's insane. I actually sent you guys a package of Canadian goodies back in June and the first line of the letter with it was, if you have received this, then the Canadian Postal Service works, which I don't think we've received.

Which ironically it doesn't because you guys never received it. To be fair, I did pay the Al Cheapo price to have it sent by boat. It should have taken three to six months. It might be there next week. We might get it next week. Imagine if we did. We might have got it though. I don't think Canadian goodies I'd remember. We might get it next week. Imagine if we did. We might have got it, though. And just not.

I don't think Canadian goodies have to remember. It's midwinter right now, and we're averaging days of negative 20 degrees. Jesus. Oh, my God. The coldest day so far that I've experienced is negative 38 degrees. But that day was negative 47 when you took into account the wind chill factor. The winters are actually really nice here. Dry and sunny most days.

Sure, it hurts to breathe a bit when you go outside because it's so cold, but it's definitely easier to adapt than I expected. The only hard part was getting used to only having six hours of daylight. By the end of December, the sun comes up at 10 a.m. in the morning and we'll be going down by 4 p.m. in the afternoon.

Jeez. It's pretty inspiring to see how people just get on with things here, though. Nothing about the isolation or the climate stops people from living their day-to-day lives and just getting shit done. I'm planning on spending my full two years in Canada in the Yukon. I just don't know how I could go and live anywhere else now. I'm currently working as admin support for the Whitehorse Fire Department.

It's not easy working all day with hot firefighters, but I guess somebody has to bloody do it. I'll attach a link to their 2018 Humane Society calendar. Please do. For those of the team who would appreciate their anaesthetic. We'll attach a link to their 2018 Humane Society calendar Please do. For those of the team who would appreciate their anaesthetic. We'll show Caitlin. Aesthetic. This could be your new husband. I don't

need a new one, I just need a new one. Who will appreciate their ability to put you to sleep and knock you out and make you not have pain. Here we go, look. Hold on, Caitlin. I'll turn this around so everyone can see. Well, Caitlin, this could be Mr. Marat. This could be the future Mr. Marat.

Shut up. Are you kidding? That's been in our calendar, eh? Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't see. Turn around more. They've got all with dogs. You've turned around too much. Oh, shit.

Oh, I'll spin it. Have, that's a sick play. You've turned around too much. Yeah, that's better. I'll spin you a part up there. Oh, I'll spin it. Look at. Have you ever seen a twink diamond? Have you ever seen a twink diamond? No. I don't like that one. Next. Don't like that one?

It's too old. Hi. Look at this guy's got a little cross-breed rescue. That's nice. Yeah, okay. Oh, aren't you? Why aren't you looking? You're happy with your man?

Yeah. You got what you want. Oh. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. You ladies are about to. Is he about to kiss that puppy? I think so. This guy's got one, two, three, four, five rescue dogs, and he's young and very attractive.

Oh, yeah, that's my cup of tea. Oh, my gosh. Oh, shit. Damn. If you guys want to look this up at home and you want to play too, Humane Yukon. Humane, so human with an E, and then YukConn, Y-U-K-O-N. Oh, that's just a picture of a helmet.

All right, we're back to the start. This is back to the start. Should we just appreciate the one we just looked at? What's that? Yeah, not many months in that calendar. No, I didn't put them all out there because they want you to buy the calendar. It's a teaser, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, good call, good call. It's a teaser. Look at the way he just handles that dog with one hand. Look at his nipple. I know. His nipple was a bit... It's got very dark n at the way he just handles that dog with one hand. Look at his nipple. I know. His nipple was a bit, freaked me out a little bit. It's got very dark nipples. No, but they're still better than mine.

Yeah, they are. I'm okay with dark nipples. But then, yeah. Who knew the boyfriend was a model? This is my favorite one. See, Shannon Blake. 44 weeks ago. Hey, they might have a new calendar out, by the way.

Oh, they haven't posted for a while. I never wanted to answer games. Your wife's wondering why you're so enthused about it. This doesn't surprise you anymore, right? It is a bit worrying. Oh, it's worrying. Well, you get some cute dogs and we'll see. Anyway, getting to the point, I give my shout out to my bestie,

Natalie Good in Australia. Oh, it's opened another. God, it keeps opening. That bloody firefighter's going. Who finally said listen to the podcast last year after I went on and on about it for a solid six years. I missed you, girlfriend. I promise I'll come home next year as planned.

Natalie is currently planning a road trip around New Zealand by herself for October. If you've got any suggestions for unique places to check out, I'm sure she'd appreciate the tips. I'd also like to say thanks for the podcast. It's a comfort to have you in my ear holes when I'm so far away from your part of the world. Oh! Fuck, Magoos, that was close.

Did you see me catch that shit? Megan nearly tipped over a glass of champers. I'd like to say thanks to the podcast. And I'm also a member of the FVM International Podcast family page, which is awesome and has such a great vibe to it. My champagne go. Did I finish that? Is it this there?

Oh, excellent. You've already got a drink, Fletch. No, I'm double parked. Joyce Young would like an International Podcast shout out, if you please, Izzle. Currently sitting in Havana, Cuba, waiting to go to Cancun, Mexico. Oh, Kilda, great place. Cuba was incredible, especially the beach in Trinidad.

Trinidad's not in Cuba, is it? No, I think there's lots of beach. Trinidad's actually down the south, isn't it? Yeah. And the horse riding in Vinales. So lots of locals, what they thought of the government, and they were all pretty antsy about replying because they said you'd get could end up saying something bad.

Excuse me. You don't say anything bad. Hey, fuck off a millennial. Ah, she's got her feet on me. Don't get all... Anya, no. Dad, Anya's got her feet on me. If you guys think tax in New Zealand is bad,

tobacco is taxed 93% here. However, that's fair enough as it makes some of the most money and there will be no doctors otherwise. I've had three marriage proposals when I've been here. I said I want to get married for maybe 10 years and one said they will wait for me. Caitlin, you would 100% find a husband in Cuba. Oh, without a doubt.

They're really keen. What language did they say? No, you know, Morgan, she went on a Tinder or a date with a guy. I thought that was in Mexico. No, she went on a date with a guy in Cuba and spoke purely with Google Translate. Really? Yeah, yeah. That was kind of like my date in Kenya.

That's offensive. The high-visit urban and the knocking Duncan Gunner over here Is really treating a fine line I have no idea What I'm doing in Mexico But planning on having tacos Every day I'm also excited

Because I'll be doing A Facebook tour Through a friend When I get to my last stop In San Francisco Oh she's going to Facebook The head office of Facebook Probably she went on the tour

Before the whole Hey we're spying on you But lols Don't worry about it I love you guys Congratulations on your winning Megan I shall look at hey, we're spying on you, but lols, don't worry about it. I love you guys. Congratulations on your wedding, Megan. I shall look at photos when I come back. Congratulations on you other guys for just being alive.

Thanks. I like a congratulations on something done. I actually honestly feel like, I don't know how I'm so alive sometimes. Like, good for me. Did you know that my brakes in my car were, like, completely out? I only found out the other day and they were like this is very bad you could have died. Talk about this next week.

Write it down. A friend I've had. And then what was the other thing to talk about next week? World Vision and Anya's Uggberts. That's right. A friend I've had for 23 years.

A friend and I. Jesus that makes me sound old. Yeah but we're 13. Talked about the other day how lucky we are to be alive because we did so much dumb shit as teenagers. Like

everybody has a period don't they? Let's reflect upon this now. But you went down to that oil tanker farm and you started a fire. Like, that's amazing. You got out. Amazing.

And I stayed there for the whole fire. That's amazing. No, I've never got off on fires. I love lighting fires, but they were always like planned fires. In fireplaces. Yeah, in fireplaces. Okay.

I've never masturbated to a fire No Megan It's good to know It's good to know Yeah Important to know Jenna Fleek is next For a blog I shouted

It's been a bloody hectic Two weeks travelling With my family to Thailand Before I do the big move From Dunedin to Christchurch To attend Lincoln University Where I'm studying To become a big time farmer

Now I'd never seen Lincoln University Until we went down there For the last conversion To Dan Carter's Dad's place I think I'd very much like Lincoln. Well, you love your farming stuff.

It looked like a lot of tinkering, farming, growing things, fun times, crops and dairy. We were visiting Thailand because we used to live in Chiang Mai. I'm going to Chiang Mai. For your holiday? Yeah. In June. Yeah. My dad was a community developer who worked with people with HIV and the stigma that surrounded it.

While I was a shitbag teenager, abusing the power of being tall and blonde to get people to buy cheeky drinks for me and my friends. We moved back to New Zealand for me to complete school doing NCEA to make it easy getting into uni. While I'm grateful for being 18 and traveling more than most, leaving is never easy and I've never lived in one place longer than six years. And now just as I've become settled, it's time to move to Lincoln. Coming from a farming family, I've had some awesome opportunities that lead me to realising I'm quite good at farming and I bloody love it. I particularly love me some cows and it's awesome when Vaughan chucks in some dairy chat from time to time.

You'll love this then, Jenna. The old man's cows are having a great autumn. I don't know if she will love this. Last year, he told me, comparatively, they were producing 1,700 litres of milk every two days. This year, 2,500 litres of milk every day. Certainly good for the inheritance, isn't it? Great for the inheritance.

Power that farm. Retire, but don't spend too much money. Yep. P.S. I just pasted this into the FB page messages, and I saw that I was definitely ahead of the game with the show Secret. If I'm right in thinking, that is what you guys are talking about. You've been very vague there, Jenna.

To Princess Diana. To Princess Diana. I almost choked. This one is from James Jennings. No relation to Paul Jennings, the author behind many fantastic 1990s teen novels. Was it Goosebumps? No, that was R.L. Stine.

Paul Jennings wrote Uncanny and all those other short stories. Paul Jennings, if you've not looked him up, a great read. As I'm moving from New Zealand all the way to Germany to go exploring the world without my girlfriend, I'd just like to make a quick episode. This is mainly because I found out that my last shout-out from one of my mates actually listens to the podcast as well. So this one's for you, Slavin,

a.k.a. One Drink, because he can only handle one beer. Fuck, Anya. It's not sleep time. Anya, what is going on? Millennials are just shit, aren't you? What's happening, Megan? She rolled over on me and then ripped my headphones out of my ears. I'm pooped.

I'm going to get your athlete's foot on my leg. Yeah, you've got your athlete's foot on Megan's thigh. No, I've not had my Uggs yet. These are just normal. They're fine. Are you drunk or just tired? Because we all get drunk. By Friday, we're all pretty zapped, but you need

that espresso martini. Scull that and you'll be awake as a pee addict. I'm a hybrid of both. I'm just out here chilling like a villain. Just leave me be. Fucking hell. Slavin, don't say I never do anything for you. I still don't understand how you managed to get Chelsea.

Or Chels. I just assumed her name was Chelsea. Her name might be Chelsington. She must have had the patience of a saint. You're one lucky man. All the best for your wedding, whenever that is. P.S. Gutter, we couldn't catch up before I left. P.S. I'm writing this in January, so I don't expect you to be hearing this until

June! Yay! We've exceeded expectations! Great news! That never happens. Shannon DeGeest writes, aspiring friend of the show. Shannon here. Shannon, happens. Great news. Never. Shannon DeGeest writes, Aspiring friend of the show. Shannon here. Shannon.

Friend of the show. Take off that mantle and put it on the new one because you're a friend of the show now. You said at the end of the shout-outs you'd be less likely to be someone. I know because no one's asked for it. Shannon DeGeest has come in and I'm like, Shannon, Neil, and you are bestowed upon

Yes, there's a fly on the blue cheese. You might remember my first episode two years ago. Wow, that was a fan-fucking-tastic time. But now we're on to crazier things. On Wednesday the 7th of Feb, me and five friends are eating on a ski trip to China, South Korea,

and North Korea. What? Not going to lie, but I'm feeling rather apprehensive since most of our group are fucking loose units and I'm the only female but also very excited to visit

the world's most secretive country. Fingers crossed we don't end up with an auto situation on our hands where we can't find travel insurance that will cover us and it's two days until we leave. All joking aside the trip is going to be pretty epic and eye-opening. Skiing alongside the Great Wall of China at one

part, laying flowers at a 20-meter Kunjong-un statue, cheering on New Zealand at the Winter Olympics, and flying with the only one-star rated carrier in their decommissioned Russian airplane that was used in the Cold War. Wow, yeah, some of those North Korean airliners look pretty booze. These are some of the highlights that our parents, as you can imagine, are totally thrilled about.

A quick hello to fellow show fans, our new friend Roxy and her beau Toby. That might be Tobias that we talked about before. Cheers for introducing me to Eden Noodle House. Special sauce. Oh, James has something to say about Eden Noodle House. Oh yeah, it's wonderful. I was there

actually over the weekend. I was there on Sunday. Do they do dumplings? Yes. Have we been to Eden Noodle House. Oh, yeah. It's wonderful. I was there actually over the weekend. I was there on Sunday. Do they do dumplings? Yes. Great dumplings. Have we been to Eden Noodle House, Chas? I don't think we have, have we? We consider ourselves dumpling connoisseurs. That sounds like a business lunch expenditure.

It certainly does. Sizzling beef, too. Sizzling beef in a hot pot. Oh, I wouldn't go sizzling beef. I'd go teriyaki chicken before that, but that's Japanese, isn't it? No, sizzling beef. No, no, yeah. But I'd go dumplings before I went to sizzling beef.

They do a good dumplings, for sure. Ten pieces. Four. How much for ten? It's about seven bucks. Do they have any that don't have shrimp?

Yeah. Oh, good. Pork and onion. Oh, pork. Very good. You've sold me, James. Let's do it. A quick hello

to our other show fans. New friend, Roxy, and our boy, Toby. Thanks for introducing me to Eat a Noodle House. Special sauce withxy and her boat Toby. Thanks for introducing me to Eden Noodle House. Special sauce with noodles is life changing. Side note,

Roxy is the talented artist who sketched Indian Orgy in their Star Wars costumes. The pink background. She drew the notes. That is amazing. Shout outs to my sisters Lily and Stacey

who are the best things since sliced bread and of course my good friend Hannah. She's a friend of the show who went to Nairobi for a global summer with old mate Barack Obama

she's a boss ass gal destined for great things. Megan check out her latest venture Indigo and Iris it's a socially responsible New Zealand makeup brand that's launching at New York Fashion Week. I think I've heard of that Indigo and Iris. Not only is the mascara the best of years but 50%

of profits go towards curing reversible blindness see how good's that I'd love an update on how North Korea was I've seen so Shannon and her friends

I I don't know what happened I must have lost it but I remember this because I remember looking them up they've done a YouTube video

of their whole trip and it looked fucking nuts are you allowed to do that what like film stuff well I know I don't know if you are you've got to secretly do it no whole trip and it looked fucking nuts. Are you allowed to do that? What? Like film stuff. Well, I know. I don't know if you are. You've got to secretly do it. No.

There's definite footage from inside North Korea. But also good luck travelling to America after you've been to North Korea because you will get a finger in your nose at customs after that. Oh, 100. 100. You have to go through China, don't you, to get to North Korea? Is that right? I don't know. Maybe. It'll be another communist country. Here it is. Look, look, look. 100. You have to go through China, don't you, to get to North Korea. Is that right?

I don't know. Yeah, maybe. It'll be another communist country. Here it is. Look, look, look. This is the YouTube video. Five days in the... Getting drunk in North Korea. Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

For all those asking, I was like, check out Cam's video for yourself. It's a 10-minute video called Getting Drunk in North Korea. So just Google that on YouTube and you can... I'm going to have to watch that later. That looks great fun. It's pretty nuts. Wow.

I'm worried for them though that they're going to get some luxurious shots and stuff. No, I know, but like what if they come for them? So they confiscated

their passports for the trip. Yeah, when you go into the country they confiscate your passports. Oh my God, that's terrifying.

It's actually like really modern parts of North Korea because all you ever see online and in media is it making it look real backwards, poor, starving. And I'm sure there's those aspects to it, but the airport's bloody lovely. Look at that. Yeah, that's lovely, yeah. And I'm not saying North Korea's free of any atrocities.

Join the communist state. As we record, they've proposed in talks with South Korea to get rid of all their nuclear weapons. I know, yeah. For like no questions asked. Something's up with that. I reckon the nuclear weapons were full of shit. So that's all from Shannon De Geest.

But yeah, search Getting Drunk in North Korea on YouTube if you want to see that. Reagan Northwood's next. Kiori Fano. Little Megs. The Matriarch of Cuteness. New Zealand's favorite dark horse. This IPSO comes from a 20-something Kiwi cliche living in London.

As I write this in early February, our daylight hours have just started to extend until 4pm. Thank God. Because starting and finishing work in darkness is proper depressing. Makes cycling London streets even more dangerous. This shout-out is dedicated to my bestie Meg. It's been nearly a year since I left the shaky aisles but I miss her so much. Before I moved to London we were flatmates and lived together with her bearded

dragon Buffy, my cat Mr Wiggles. I live in Clapham now with all other Kiwis and Aussies. Case in point, my flatmates are from the Waikato Whangarei and Melbourne respectively. I work in South East London as a project coordinator and have views of the London Eye, Big Ben, and Paul's Cathedral and the River Thames.

I often stop and pinch myself. Highlights of living abroad have included backpacking around Lake Como and staying at Wow. Refugio in the forest before summoning the highest mountain in the area. Road tripping through Scotland and summoning the tallest mountain in the UK, which is the Ben Nevis.

I've seen photos from the top of that. It looks lovely. I also saw snowfall for the first time. I spent Christmas in France with family and friends, where I visited Mont Saint-Michel. If you haven't heard of it, Google it up. All my adventures are documented via Instagram, which is KiwiInFlight. I hope this episode makes you smile, Meggles.

Not you, Megan. Another Megan. You're the best Rina girl could have, and I can't wait until we're reunited although that could be a while away, so come visit. Many thanks for making me feel like I'm close to home even though I'm on the other side of the world from Reagan, who we've known for years. Isabel Berthelsen.

Hola, amigos. First time listener. Long time listener. First time podcast shout out. I'm writing to you all the way from Tyboshk, Nepal, which is 3,890 metres above sea level on my way to the Everest base camp.

After living in London for the past five years, you have been an air to listen to while catching on trains, buses, my long walks doing front work and keeping me company on the European weekend getaways. It's finally time for me to move home the past month of travel through norway snowy winterland was visiting auschwitz and poland and diving in the red sea in egypt sailing on the nile catching a hot air balloon over the valley of the kings and seeing the pyramids and the sphinx in cairo before a horrible midnight flight to katmandu, which brings me to my current bucket list tick

of reaching Everest's base camp all on my own. Hashtag no Sherpa. I'm halfway there, so I should reach the top on Thursday the 25th of January, after which I'm jetting to Indonesia to lie on the beach before flying back to the land of the long white cloud. Got to go. I'm in bed at 7.30 p.m.

and it's minus 20 degrees Celsius outside. Check out my Instagram to see more pictures. Isabel, with two L's, so I-S-O-B-E-L-L, necessary on a bike. Oh, my dad always says that. Isabel necessary on a bike. My dad says that too. I did not get that at all until now. Until you said it, yeah.

Isabel necessary on a bike. It's a bit mean, really. Hamish Ellis Jack, friend of the show. H-E-J, who I believe has moved now, but, you know, worked in such close proximity to us. Hey, guys. H-E-J here with a quick episode. Heading home today via four flights after five amazing weeks in Southeast Asia. Currently getting detained in Changi Airport and waiting for airport police for having an empty AK-47 cartridge in my bag

from Ho Chi Minh where I fired an AK-47. H-E-J. Oh, I wouldn't carry that. Not on me. Not on my carry-on. Spoiler alert. They let me go. My highlights so far,

which you can see on hellisjack on Instagram, have included Co-PP, which is beautiful, and Cool What Sunrise, which we weren't there for Sunrise, but that's beautiful. Are you Instagram. I've included CoPP, which is beautiful. Oh, it is. And Cool What Sunrise, which we went there for sunrise, but that's beautiful. Are you going to go to CoPP, Megan? CoPP's closed, isn't it? To tourists.

No, the little place where they shop. The beach. The beach, yeah. CoPP is the island next door, and CoPP is one of my favorite places in the world. It's so beautiful. You've got to go there. But I asked the travel agent, and he said it's closed till October. Well, he's a fuckwit. No, CoPP is is one of my favourite places in the world. It's so beautiful. You've got to go there. Just a couple of nights. But I asked the travel agent.

He said it's closed till October. Well, he's a fuckwit. No, Co-PP is a big island, eh? No. And the little island where they fill the beach is going to be different. That's Renang, isn't it? No, Co-PP is the main island. Co-PP could not shut to tourists.

It's main livelihood. But the little island that you take a day tour to, just off the coast, is shut. Right. But you can still go to Co-Pee-Pee. It's beautiful. Are you Googling now just to double check? Yeah, Co-Pee-Pee. Yeah, most definitely.

Yeah, you've got to go there. He's 100% wrong. Two tourists. What's that? Oh, because tourists have basically polluted it. Oh, Maya Bay. Maya Bay is shut. Maya Bay is the one that they filmed

the beach at. Yep. Maya Bay on Co-PB Island, which is wrong because it's not Co-PB Island, it's its own island.

Yeah. Closed as shocking photos reveal the environmental impact of tourism. But Co-PB is huge and it's still open. There's no way

they'd shut that. Co-PB is amazing. But yeah, I mean, this shows all the rubbish and stuff and people are fucking animals

when they get there. So you need to tell your travel agent who's misleading people horribly. Fletch loves that because he doesn't like your business. Megan's like, I'm like, you can get these flights online. She's like, I'll go to a travel agent because I'm 50. No, because you find the flights online and then you go there and they do it cheaper. Yeah, but I could have already booked and paid for them in the time it took you to drive to the travel agents.

I know, but I get them cheaper. Save money. Oh, my God. And then you save money because they get cheaper hotels and then you get packages. But, yeah, just do it yourself, Rich. This next place that has been recommended looks amazing. Hey, Michelle, it's Jack. Another highlight was the crystal clear water

of El Nido. Now, L-E-L space N-E-I-D-O. Look at this. It's in the Philippines. Yeah. Which my friend Kim swears by.

I've heard about the Philippines as like quite a touch day by tourism. I've never been, but that looks absolutely amazing. Get on down to the Philippines. And a birthday weekend in Boracay. It's been an absolute adventure. Making the down to the Philippines. And a birthday weekend in Boracay.

It's been an absolute adventure. Making the move to London in April, so it's been good to meet some great humans from the podcast fam in that part of the world. Shout-outs to Maddie, Isabella, Rochelle, Jess, which are all females, by the way, and all those that I've met over the last year through the family page. Hey, GJ.

Fletch, we still need to do that body balance class. Stretching and flexibility is important. Yeah. Plus the bulk zen. That's all. We went to AKD that. No, we did yoga. Was that body balance?

No. I thought we did body balance. No, we did yoga. Body balance is a mix of lots of things. Body balance you probably would have coped a little bit better with. Good. You're like downward dog. I'm going to do that one.

But I can't go to the one near my gym. In case you're embarrassed. So sleep with the instructor. One of them. I just go. So I can't go to like The body balance instructor.

One five o'clock class like once or twice a week or something. That's a no-go zone. How thirsty would you have to be before you popped the log up? Thirst that far. Oh, I'd have to be like needing a stretch.

Wait, that came out. No, anyway. It came out wrong, but right. HEJ signing off. Juanita Jones is next. I've been meaning to do an International Podcast. Shout out for a while. International.

Fuck, we're getting two pages to go. There's only two pages left, guys. We're nearly there. I've been nursing in Abu Dhabi, which is where Garfield wanted to send Nirmal for Garfield fans. For two years now, which can be hard to say the least,

listening to your podcast and familiar Kiwi accents has been truly wonderful. Helps me feel connected to home. I had surgery recently. I was stuck at home for two weeks and I just want to thank you for keeping me company and keeping my spirits up. Our absolute pleasure.

That's why we do this thing. And hi to my friend Emma, who also lives here with me and loves listening to you guys as up. Killed it. Absolute pleasure. That's why we do this thing. And hi to my friend Emma who also lives here with me and loves listening to you guys as well. JJ from Juanita Jones. Juanita. Lane Warner says, Fletch, Vaughan, Megan

and producers Caitlin, James and Anya. My name is Lane and I'm a long time listener of the podcast. It's way back in 2009. This episode is for my wife, Amy. I'm currently writing this from the beautiful Samoa

while on holiday. You booked a trip? Anya's got a Samoa on a Vaughan Smith recommendation. It's happening tonight. La la la. You gotta book your trip. You gotta get out of Apia.

You're not going with your son. You're going with your friend. He's not my son. Your boyfriend, sorry. He's my lover. And I'm going with a friend Yeah Gal strip

Get loose You're so boss Lord I don't know what to do I tell you what What the fuck is happening If I was your age In the early 2000s We were a heavier weight

When it came to drinking We could start drinking at 12 We'd still be going. Yeah. They don't breathe millennials like they used to. They do not breathe in your day.

Tough as shit, mate. Tough as shit. Yeah, tough as shit. Just over a week ago, I married Amy, who's the love of my life and my best friend. Amy is a beautiful person

who is the most compassionate and caring person I know. I was so stoked when she said yes to marrying me. She and I have an amazing time here in Samoa. Can I just interrupt? So you really get the afternoon sun in here, don't you, in your lounge?

Well, you really do. It's lovely. It's really in. You really do. I'm getting it in the face. Yeah, okay. So I'm blocking the sun with my hand. But yes, our lounge is, our house is an L shape.

And the base of the L is our lounge. And you get the afternoon sun and you get the midday sun. What a pleasure. It's quite lovely in winter. In summer, you get a very late evening sun. We're going to need

an architecture breakdown. I could break it down all day, baby. Our upstairs, even in winter, our upstairs can get very warm. Well, the heat rises, doesn't it? Yeah, it does.

You're actually, physics there is coming to play and you're dead correct. You're dead correct. You're dead correct. Our Highlander of Samoa has been swimming in

the Tusua Ocean Trench. Put that on your list. That shit is crazy. My problem with that is it sounds

yuck. The sewer trench. No, but it's an Instagram photo. Sua. I'm going to get a drone up. I'm going to get

a drone up. No, you're not allowed no drones. They're not going to stop me. Pretty sure they are. They're big motherfuckers. They come flying out quick and big.

Namua Island having many cocktails in the resort pool. I'd love to know what resort you stay at, just to compare resort nights. Because you've told Anya we're not to stay. No, I've told her the... Oh, shit. Samana Beach, I told you. La La Mona.

Any Samoa recommendations, slide into our DMs. Slide into Anya's DM. She loves Samoa recommendations. Did you get full name on your Instagram? Yeah. What do you mean? There's not many Anahimvists in the world. There's not many Anahimvists.

Okay. So, re-ename. Samoa is a cool place to see and the locals are also friendly. Agreed. Amazing place. Totally recommend to anyone who hasn't been before. In a few days, Amy and I locals are also friendly agreed amazing place totally recommend to anyone who hasn't been before in a few days

Amy and I will have to leave here and go back to work we live in Auckland Amy works as a nurse in the emergency department and I'm a paramedic not an ambulance driver as we often get referred to

Fletch I've heard you say you have a friend who is a paramedic I'm wondering who he is because I probably know him if he works in Auckland Amy and I both doing shift work can be hard sometimes

when we can go a few days without probably seeing each other. But on the flip side, we also get lots of days off together and always have heaps of fun times. I just also wanted to add in a thanks for the podcast. We love the show and the videos.

Keep up the good work. Thanks from Elaine. Thanks, Elaine. To Princess Di. To Princess Di. Sophie Bartlett says, Kelda. Kelda.

After being the classic always leaving, never leave, I finally get an international podcast shout out because I went to fucking Europe and did the thing. Good. Yes, girl. Shout out to annual leave, which I used up spending a month traveling around places that were hashtag wintery as fuck.

Highlights include drunk snowball fights in the French Alps, ice hockey in Vienna exploring casual castles and doing milk and chocolate reviews that chocolate is amazing

holy shit that's what the Eastern Europeans really what kind of chocolate is it because we've got pretty good chocolate

oh my no no no is it dark is it dairy no it's dairy it's milk chocolate yeah and they've got heaps of dairy? No, it's dairy. It's milk chocolate. Yeah, and they've got heaps of ranges. Oh my God.

It's actually incredible. It's creamy as fuck. Yeah, it's so good. The white chocolate is... Those Swiss cows, they're eating flowers. That's what makes their milk delicious. The white chocolate milk is amazing. And they've got a million flavours.

So good. Milk and chocolate. We ate our way around the place and I'm coming back to New Zealand as a potato dumpling. Which, fun fact, come as all-you-can-eat sides in some pubs

in Prague. Potato dumplings? Prague. That's carbs inside There's a lot of things to do in Prague. I don't know if I Potato dumplings?

Yeah, fuck. I never experienced potato dumplings. Carbs inside carbs. Yeah. And my ex's grandma used to make them. She gave me the recipe.

Can't do it. It's really something. Is it the same as a sort of a traditional Asian steamed dumpling or a fried dumpling? No, it's fried. Yeah. But it doesn't have like the ones I had don't have a pastry thingy. They're little just round, ball-y things. What's the outside potato?

Is it more like a money bag? A pasta money bag? No, because money bags are primarily pastry. Sort of a phyllo situation. They love their taties. Oh, yeah, what? Twink Central, too. Prague.

What's that? Who'd have thought? Special shout out to the girl band. We met as youngins at a university hall. But I can say I wouldn't be a woman. Now, we've heard from another member of the girl band today in podcast shout-outs, haven't we? We have.

We definitely remember the girl band. I'm now waiting in Bangkok airport for my flight back to New Zealand, returning to adult responsibilities and the life admin associated. Also, heads up, team, I work in wine retail. Guys, heads up. I work in wine retail, basically retail, but I get to sell spinniest fuck bottles and taste all the goodies. Yes.

Nice. Girl, get in touch. Any of our emails, it's just our name at ZetaMilano.com. Let's be friends because wine, that's our jam. As you've heard, like Poo Hoi Cheeses literally sent us two blocks of cheese and got like And they've just got all of it. $800,000 worth of advertising. Oh, freight yourself.

Nobody says no way Jose to a Rose. Yeah. If you want any wine spirit recommendations no way Jose to a Rose. Yeah. If you want any wine spirit recommendations, get in touch. We want recommendations. We want specials. You, you. Keep doing what you're doing. Thanks for the podcast.

Always a pleasure. Never a chore. Sophie Bartlett. Thank you, Sophie. Sophie Bartlet if you want to stalk. Now, this is Sophie, traditional spelling. S-O-P-H-I-E. And then Bartlet is B-A-R-T-L-E-E-T

This is Macy Gray In the background Turn it up James Up more more more more Yeah Yeah And I've got a Vaughan Smith Banger

Edit No I've got a Vaughan Smith edit. Banger. No, I've got a Vaughan Smith edit to the podcast. Yep. Saying that Sophie's got some amazing travel pics. Oh, okay. Scrolling in to find them, Sophie's back in NZ right now. She's done a mud run. She's done some runs.

She's done a lot of runs. Working off those European carbs. My note was that it was an amazing travel gram. Yeah, right. During her travels. Marina Rodriguez is next. Hey, Tim, I have an international podcast. Shout out to Ben. I've been waiting ages to be able to do this. My husband and I got

married just before Megan. And we're currently on our honeymoon in Portugal, writing this from my hotel room in Porto. I just want to say shout out to my ex-colleague, Sarah Penn Warden, who introduced me to the podcast and helped kill many hours of boredom at the office. Huge congratulations on the new job,

and you deserve nothing but the best going forward. I'll keep this shout-out short because we have a port wine-tasting tour in the morning. Thanks for the podcast. Lots of love from Marina Rodriguez. John Broadbent is – oh, my God, we're down to our last. We did him at the start I know but he sent through another one

he sent through another one because he says this is my second international podcast shout out in six months the last one is back in September when I was on my way to Canada for my host sister's wedding god John it just seems like yesterday you were telling us about this

this time I'm in Melbourne for my good friend's gay wedding called not the ceremony but the beerimony. Hashtag the beerimony. Are there two beers? They're both beers. They're both beers.

Now that, Vaughn, do you want to explain to the hetero community what a beer is? I sure can. Now the beer is a hairy older man. A larger man, sort of beer-esque in stature. Looks like you. Looks like you, eh? More or less, stature. Looks like you, eh? More or less, yes. With the beard normally, eh?

Generally with the beard. Now there's a few hashtags from the bear-imony. You're probably too skinny to be a beard now, babes. That is the nicest thing you've ever seen. You're probably more of an otter. Yeah. An otter. You think about an otter. It's sleek, it's slim, but it's very hairy what? An otter. You think about an otter. It's sleek. Google came, but it's very hairy.

Gay definition otter. Here's John here. Here's John in the middle at the berrimony. I've searched the hashtag berrimony. This is no filter because it can't be fucked. There's John in the middle there. Okay. And here's the berrimony.

These are the two beers getting married. This is great to see. I love. I am still, by the way, yet to be at a gay wedding. Well, do you? My gay friend has been married twice, and I've not been able to make either of the occasions. How terrible is that? Is that down to your poor planning, though?

It's a little bit to do with me. It's a little bit. It's a little bit. Caitlin. Caitlin. Otter. Otter. A gay man who is very hairy all over his body,

but is smaller in frame and weighs considerably less than a bear. And in text, Larry is an otter, and he likes to date bears or other otters. So bears, so otters. You'd be into twanks if you were a gay. Yeah, I think. No, not always. No, no.

A fuzzy, adorable, sexually aggressive and playful sex object that is highly successful. That's actually a fair description of my name. I think if I was gay, I'd just be into a lot of different things. Would you though? I've talked about this with gay friends. I don't think I could just say, I'm gay, I'm a bottom. I'm gay, I'm a top.

I'm gay, I'm into this guy. You I'm a top I'm gay I'm into this guy I'd be a verse otter just be into all sorts I'm gonna I'm gonna FaceTime Maddie McLean and tell her

you'd be a verse otter How come heteros don't have all these names for because we're not as creative we're boring we're boring the gays are just

creative as shit I'm a cute horse a what a cute horse. A what? A cute horse, like a pony. What, if you're a... If you're a lesbian or as a straight woman?

No, as a straight woman. Right. Because I've... You're a pony. You like to be ridden. How are you FaceTiming? I don't know why I said pony. I was just thinking of something cute.

An animal. Yeah, right. It's about a meerkat. I just thought meerkat too. Oh no, I'm a dolphin. I said pony. I was just thinking of something cute. An animal. Yeah, right. It's about a meerkat. I just thought meerkat too. Oh, no, I'm a dolphin. I'm a dolphin. I'm a dolphin. Oh, no, it's a bit rough at the moment.

Just for pinpointing this in terms of time, this wedding is March 23rd. I'm flying back via Auckland and seeing Ed Sheeran with my sister. You know, we're bloody close. We're so close to being up today. With my sister. Monday night for my birthday with my sister. Anyway, I'll're bloody close. We're so close to being up today. I'm with my sister. Monday night for my birthday with my sister. Anyway, I'll keep this short.

Megan, you'll be proud of me. What happened? I went to Uniqlo. What's Uniqlo? Uni and then Q-L-O. It's a pharmacy, I think. And even went to Topman. Oh, Uniqlo.

Isn't that the assistant overseas? Yeah. Is it like Japanese, that chain? And it's huge. Uniqlo.com. this in overseas? Yeah. It's the, is it like Japanese, that chain? And it's huge. Uniqlo.com. Is it clothes? Yeah. I have never heard of Uniqlo.

Is it like? Oh, is it like, it's like H&M. Men's, women's. Yeah, it's like H&M. But what does it say there? Is it Japanese, casual, wear designer, manufacturer and retail? It's like Japanese H&M. This is Australia.

Yeah, they were in Australia. I saw them in Australia. Just after the end of World War II, where of course the Japanese were on the wrong side of that one. So wait, went to Uniqlo and Topmen and what happened? They didn't buy anything? Oh, no. Oh, they went there.

They might have bought something. John just said he went there. Vaughn, you'll be super proud of me because I have no idea what I was doing and I was completely overwhelmed by the whole thing. Last Ipsil I sent was a bit of a downer. As I write this, you still haven't read it out. Well, actually, fuck you, John.

Yeah, apologies, please, John. Step down because we have. Don't worry, I'm completely back to normal now and I'm writing a book about my experiences, which is great to hear. He said, as I write this, you haven't read the other one. He's not wrong. Oh, yeah. Well, I shouldn't have.

I take it back, John. Not fuck you. Anyway, thanks again for the podcast. Much love to the fam, John. P.S. I'm doing a screen print, of course, in April, so look out for special one-off teas and more activity for me. Re-episode family teas.

Guess what? That's it. If we finish, we are done. After a mammoth five hours? And a fuckload of cheese. Oh, I know. I'm like cheese hungover. Caitlin, get the mic to James, please.

James, here's the mic. No, just over four. Over four hours. Over four hours. Yeah, it's a classic, classic effort there for the podcast show. I'm not going to be able to talk properly all weekend. Tighten the throat. That's the sacrifices we make. Tighten the podcast. I'm not going to be able to talk properly all weekend. Tighten the throat. That's the sacrifices we make.

Tighten the throat. Tanya's been asleep on the couch for 15 minutes. Less we forget. Less we forget. Fletch is far too many gins deep. Megan's, I don't know, I'm assuming you're playing a design thing. This is good for the killers. I'm going to be really ready for the killers.

No, you're not. You're going to be asleep. I peaked too early. You've got to choose. What are you going to be really ready for the killers. No, you're not. You're going to be asleep. I've peaked too early. You've got to choose. What are you going to do now? You've got to double down on shelving a Red Bull or busting out a power nap when you get home. I'm going to power nap and then shelve a Red Bull.

That's great. I'm going to do both. Do them both. Caitlin. Yep. She's got a heavy flow. Final words. Oh, yuck, Megan.

Do you actually ever hear a heavy flow? Not a hairy one. A hairy, heavy flow. It's bald at the moment. And yes, I do have a heavy flow. And I'm about to start my period in three days. So when we get back to work next week, you need to be nice to me. Caitlin always tells us exactly how her periods go.

And I will tell you exactly how heavy it is as well. Grunt. Thank you so much for coming, everyone. Well, thank you for having us, Sade. Yeah, thank you. Thank you to Sade. Thank you to Sade. And the Smiths for having us. Thank you as well to our international podcast family. And to our sponsor today.

Poo-Hooi Cheese. They're not the sponsor. The actual sponsor. Bow your head to the true Lord and Holy Spirit, Poo-Hooi Cheese. Jesus Christ. But thank you to Spark as well, the sponsor of the show. Excellent. Anything else, Caitlin, to add?

James, final words are now all on you. These are the last words of the International Podcast Shoutout Special. James. I don't have anything to say. Oh, but we've got to have something better than that. Beautiful. It's been a big week. It's been a big week.

Is it yours? Sorry. You know what we need to go out on? What? Don't say it's national. Join in if you know the words. Fuck you millennials and your memes. The yodeling kid.

Have you got yodeling kid? Can you look up yodeling kid? My tongue's gone numb from the beverages. Oh, fuck. Are you serious? That's the bus that just came. Oh, yeah, you My tongue's gone numb from the beverages. Oh, fuck. Are you serious? That's the bus that just went past. Oh, yeah, you've got another hour to wait for the bus. Are you catching the bus?

What? I'm going to get a ride with one of you two. No, we're going to the shore. You're getting your own Uber. I'm not getting my own Uber. This time of day you want to go around the back way to the shore too. Yes. Oh, for fuck's sake, am I stuck here?

That's not like you, Fletch. Oh, come on. Is there a train? Fuck this little cunt. I need to get home. He's the Yodel Kid. He's the hero of Coachella. Why did we start?

She's got the kind of lovin'. Love and love you here. When you got me. Daddy. Such a beautiful dream. I had to like it all over. That's. You know, if you want proper yodeling.

It's the sea. Top Twins yodeling is that. Which seats are bloody? That one. What is it? You know, if you want proper yodeling, you get Top Twins. Top Twins yodeling is that. The Top Twins. Fletch needs that, buddy. Untouchable, untouchable. That one. What is it? Untouchable, girls.

That one. Oh, that was with their movie, right? Yeah. Gross over a million dollars in New Zealand box office. Yeah, that's one. Fletch needs a cup of tea and a lie down. You just called a little kid. I can't.

Sorry, guys. Got a bit carried away there. No, I'm just... All right. I'm't. Sorry guys, got a bit carried away there. No, I'm just Alright, I'm looking at traffic now. Uber's going to be How long is it? Oh, you're in West Auckland mate. Uber's going to be at least 35 minutes. I'm sorry, born and bred. That bus will go Google Maps the bus because that bus

might have been really late because 20 past is a weird time for a bus to go past. It's either early or late. I think it's late. No one cares. Because of the busy time on a Friday. No, but can't you just drop me off on the motorway? I'll just walk up the on-ramp. Thank you. That was the international quarter.

Well, what about James? How's James getting home? He's over it. He's special. Oh, for fuck's sake. Over and out. Really taxing. Hey, thanks, everybody.

I really appreciate that you would take any time out of your day to listen to the rambling bullshit of the last four hours. Yeah, it's rambling shit, isn't it? It's insane. It's insane. Bless you all. He's not a cunt, that little yodeling kid. He's not.

He's actually, from everything I've seen, he's a bloody beautiful young man. Lovely. He'll probably come out to be some sort of Christian racist sometime soon. Some Christian racist that denounces homosexuals or anybody with a different lifestyle. Like Israel Folau. Let's just remember the G-spot was put up the ass by God. Final words.

Final words. The best final words. Your God put your G-spot up your ass, Israel Folau. The end. That is it. Mic drop. That is it.

Mic drop.