ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - NSFW: ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan International Podcast Special - Part Two

Episode Date: April 23, 2018

WARNING: CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan present the International Podcast Special.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. He has to live with me, so he puts up with a lot, but he's a top guy for a variety of reasons. One, for my birthday this year, he bought me off Trade Me two absolutely pristine blocks of ever so mysterious caramel chocolate, my absolute favorite chocolate. He refuses to tell me how much he paid for them, and I almost cried when I was opening them. I was too scared to eat them because once they're gone, it's gone. Caramel's been back since then.

Is it still back, though? It had an over-summer revival, didn't it? Nah, it's gone again. It's gone again now. He listens to the podcast more or less every day. We're both in on the show. Secret drink to Princess Diana. Princess Diana.

To the People's Princess. To Mother Teresa's BFF. I mentioned she had a controversy with Mother Teresa. That wasn't it. It was. Their personal fave podcast moment was recently when Caitlin told you all you were running late to go to a movie premiere in Newmarket

and everyone lost their minds. Oh, yeah. One time... Oh, my God, where are you telling us? Oh, my God. One time... It's not how we sound, Caitlin. ...even rang in front of your phone in segments

and got on air something about a guy he knows who has the V can symbol tattooed on him and now gets hooked up with free V. I remember the call. Yeah. It's his birthday on the 17th of November and the only way I know how to repay him for the caramel is to surprise him with a podcast shout out. Well, his birthday happens again this year in November 2018.

Surprise. Surprise. We're early or we're late. You choose. I mean, like a nice brand new car would have been nice too, but I'm too poor. I made a hole in my bedroom wall and he filled it and painted it for me and now it looks new so I won't get in trouble. Why don't they go out, these two?

Is he... It sounds like he's been friend-zoned. But is he... Or is he the love of her life and he's right in front of her and she doesn't know it? Oh my god, this is a cute rom-com. This could be a rom-com.

Neither of us are international right now. We're both in Auckland. I can assure you that I would much rather be shit-faced on a yacht in Italy lapping up the sun than going to work on a gloomy Wednesday where I'm writing this message. What is both their names? Jo. Yeah. And her flatmate, Jamie.

Jo and Jamie. Jo and Jamie, yeah. I mean, it works really well. Joe and Jamie. If this helps, I was just at Friday Jams this weekend, just gone, and seated across from the Vodafone lounge you guys were on, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching all the shapes you were cutting. If I was a judge on Dancing with the Stars, you'd get a 10 out of 10.

Happy birthday, Jamie. Thanks for being a fabulous friend and flatmate and for getting me caramel chocolate. I only hope that this very loose loophole results in a happy birthday message from our faves. We got there. I don't want to make it awkward between them, but it's definitely something public. They should definitely kiss.

They should just make some sort of formal agreement that you'll just try to kiss, and if that's good, do what you're going to do. And it won't be awkward. If it's not, then forget it happened. Yep. Agree to disagree. Matt Rose.

Hey, guys. What's it like in the year 2020 when I assume this will be getting read out? Sass. Cheeky bass. Sass. This is from my friend Luke, who's currently living in Brisbane, Australia. I've known Luke for seven years, and I'm hoping an episode will make him listen to you guys and something so bloody stubborn.

So with any luck, as of right now, you have a new listener. He just got a job as a data scientist for a gas company. So I'm very proud of him after all these years. He finally meets the real world. Producer one,

aka Bae Caitlin. Caitlin, she's just coming back with her drink. Pack up the mic, Caitlin. I know I'm only 22, so too young for you. But you're my fave. You're the only one

I've talked to on the phone, and it made me so happy. Legit felt like I was talking to royalty. Do I have a weird voice or something? A royalty voice. How you can treat me like the princess you are? He's just like 10 years too young. 10 years too young? You're not 30, Caitlin.

No, I need someone over the age of 27. Matt even goes on to say James' voice is a lovely deep voice. You should be on air more often with that lovely voice. If I get a word in, you know. He doesn't say much, but when he talks, he makes it count. Quality words. Quality words. I've got no socials to plug,

which is just as well as Safety Dad is surely not happy. Please never leave. And one day you might get an all-expense trip to Africa. We can bless the rains. XO, XO. Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl. Edward Garland is next.

Not 100% sure where to send this, so send it through here. Dear Mrs. Papadopoulos, Deputy Prime Minister Smith, the cat captor, hot mess, pack rat, and retired fuck boy.

Would you class James as a retired fuck boy? I've never considered James a fuck boy. What's a pack rat? A pack rat is someone that buys things and then just steals them away. Like the... Oh God, you are a pack rat. A pack rat a pack rat

you're not talking into that that worked tune your broadcaster that worked this is my first international podcast shout out from

Bedford in UK home of the Bedfordshire Clanger okay what's the Bedfordshire Clanger sounds like a really bad

oh yeah I was going to say a bad criminal Megan would you be able to google the Bedfordshire Clanger for us sounds like a really bad... Oh, yeah, I was going to say a bad criminal. Megan, would you be able to Google the Bedfordshire Clanger for us, please? We'll come back to you momentarily. My awesome girlfriend Katie has been listening to the show for five years before I was on the scene. You guys would help her get to sleep when she was scared or alone. Oh. She introduced me to you guys one night during our dating phase.

I was woken up by some dulcet- dudes and girls talking in the bedroom and I've been listening ever since. Unfortunately she doesn't get much time to listen as her commute's only three minutes long. However I get to listen to the podcast every day which makes her jealous. After years of saving and being tight ass we're finally making the move to immigrate to Middle Earth, land of the long white cloud and we've both got jobs in Christchurch

Katie is flood risk and drainage engineer and I'm a building surveyor We land in Auckland on February 6th We're staying a few nights Then we'll be touring down the North Island In a motorhome These people came into the studio Yeah they came into the studio

I was going to say This all found The drainage we talked about We talked about drainage We talked about flood risk I love a good chat about flood risks And the floodplains And the levels

What's the beverage you're playing at? Oh my god What do you think it is? A rapist I love a good chat about flood risks. In the flood plains. In the levels. What's the Bedfordshire clanger? Oh my God. What do you think it is? A rapist. No. Is it poos? No.

It's definitely something off Urban Dictionary or something, isn't it? No. No, wait, wait, wait. James, what do you think? I heard cling. Something clinging to you. Clanger. Oh, like a clanger. A clanger or a clinger. A clanger's a vagina.anger. Clanger. Oh, like a clanger. Clanger or a clinger.

A clanger's a vagina. Bedfordshire. No, it's not a vagina. The Bedfordshire vagina. I've never heard a vagina called a clanger. A clanger. Is that what you get? A clanger.

No, you're all way off. Clunge is the only word. Oh, don't say that word. I know it's a horrible word, but Caitlin couldn't hear me. I was off mic. Clanger. My wife's appalled. Check out the clanger. You say that's an old cl it's a horrible word, but Caitlin couldn't hear me. I was off mic. Clanger. My wife's appalled. Check out the clanger.

You say like that's an old clanger. It must be some old thing. No, you're all wrong. What is it? Well, the one that I pulled up, it's like a type of baked good. And so one end is sweet and one end is savoury. Ah! Never heard of it.

So, yeah, one end is pork and cider and the other end is roasted apple. So it's like a whole meal It's like a two course pie It's like a sausage roll That sounds wonderful Why don't we have those? I don't know You know what I'd really like? I'd like the border

The demilitarised zone where the pork seeped into the air You know that little bit of switch I changed it That would be a real delight There's a beef and ale and a rhubarb, a vegetable curry and a mango. We need to get those here. I'm into the beef and I'm into the pork. Okay. Well, I'll go on.

Oh, that sounds good though. I'm excited about that. So yeah, Edward and Katie came into the studio. I remember this. Very nice people. They took me on the motorhome. Yep. They're motorhoming the Coromandel,

Ha'he, Hobbiton, Waitomo. That's right, because we talked about all these places. Rotorua, Taupo, Tongariro, Wellington. And is there anything to really see between Tongariro and Wellington? Look, you're settled in. We don't need to answer that question. If you guys want any treats,

again, this is too late. That would have been great, though. We'll look for some white chocolate Maltesers, but those aren't made anymore, so you'll never find them. What do you do with the motorhome when you get to Wellington? You've driven the edges, pushed it into the ocean. Yeah, you sit on fire and then tell Maui, I don't even know what happened.

Right, but you're a demigod of the man and woman. You can sort this out. Benjamin Campbell is next. I'm bringing you an episode from China. China. China. When my sister and I are on a 10-day tour as a celebration. She finished her post-grad course in sonography.

Okay. Raiders. Scanning the babies. Scanning the babies and testes. Okay. Scanning the testes. I just finished my Masters of Earth Sciences, which studied tectonic fault in Northern Hamilton.

He'd know about your bloody salt lambs. Probably, to be honest. He'd be well versed in salt lambs. And Anya's bullshit wizardry of salt lambs and auras. It's all about the vibes. Thesis writing was shit house, but the constant stream of podcasts was a ray of light. There was also a highlight

when I worked at ag research in the Tron sampling cow urination events in soil with Emma Bagley. A genuine thanks to the crew for lifting the mood when dealing with cow piss. China is insane. Definitely one for the bucket lists.

If you want to see pickies, my answer, Megan, are you ready for this one? Yeah. Ben Campbell NZ. Ben? Ben Campbell NZ. We. Ben Campbell NZ. We're in a tour.

Highly recommend. Couldn't imagine trying to freeball this country. It's insane. Unfortunately, the tour is dominated by dithery old Australian racists. My sister booked from Australia where she lived. So far, highlights include the Great Wall. Far more developed than I thought. Oh, wow.

There's a picture of him with the Great Wall. Him with the Great Wall. Him with the great wall. What do you think he means like the village around, like it's built up, cities come close to it more than the totally rural. Yeah, I reckon. Lotus Lane in Beijing. Watching my six foot tall white

sister be accosted by four foot tall Chinese ladies for photos. The renewed appreciation of how stunning New Zealand is. Lowlights have included the Chinese government having a say in the appreciation of how stunning New Zealand is. Lowlights have included the Chinese government having a say in the organisation of the tour, so the transparent attempts to exhort money from us at boring, overpriced pearl and jade factories, especially when Chinese jade sucks

compared to New Zealand greenstone. Having to deal with bottled water for everything and my sister breaking her only set of headphones, my spare pair I kind of gifted to her, so having to share a pair on the five-hour train from Beijing to Suzhou was terrible. A tip for anybody traveling in China, WeChat means you can access Western internet from Wi-Fi,

but I reckon getting a global roaming plan from your home country is the way to go. Unintended internet access. Courier. We got a courier. Oh my God. I love getting couriers. What is've got a courier Oh my god I love getting couriers What is it?

This courier is going to be like What the fuck is going on here? Do you know courier Oh this is so fun There's like six people in there And they've got bomb making equipment Couriers are like Christmas What is it?

What is it? What do you reckon it is? Who's it for? What's for me? What's for you? Is it poo or cheese? No Is it Uggs?

Why I don't If it's Uggs It's tiny Uggs, it's tiny Uggs. That's from a PR outlet. What is it? Some sort of bag. Oh, it's some... I think it's some shaving product. Oh.

Sorry, it's a bit boring. But that's in your little toiletries bag. Oh, lovely. Oh, it's a shave cream. I've heard wonderful things about this shave cream. Red can. When you shave your whole head, you need a good shave cream. Low irritation.

Back to the show. My episode goes to Helen Talbot, Hamilton North's favourite posy who has killer calf muscles until they introduce those little electronic vehicles. R.I.P. posties hot legs. Yeah, well they don't have to do anything now, do they? You look like such a dick in those too.

You have to wear a helmet. Oh yeah, you do. Safety's no joke, Megan. Also to Vaughan for clarifying the rowing camp situation at the Outback a few years ago. Attached us a photo that night which shortly after I got X'd from Da Club. It was bullshit. Apparently

I was too drunk. But what do you expect when you're selling 1.5 litres of beer at a time? I've still got those glasses in the cupboard. That was from that beer fest we did in Hamilton. Also, I think Katie Tunstall's song, Black Horse and the Cherry Tree rocks. And that would have been a great Friday flashback.

Megan might see you at Lana in Brisbane I saw you got tickets tell us that story Megan no because I miss yeah so I was supposed to

go on Thursday and my friend was getting married on Saturday so I had to sell the tickets it was heartbreak heartbreak for me

I didn't yeah plus like flying over there it was going to cost me like $1500 bugger that Commonwealth Games and then no one

turned up to the Commonwealth Games yeah oh fuck we put our prices up too much yeah oh Jesus I just got salt and

vinegar chip in my cutlet I told you how good are these these are absolutely delicious what are these fantastic delights

yeah flavour of the Richter I'll tell you what will make them better accompanying them with a Poo Hoy Cheese today's show

brought to you by Poo Hoy Cheese just paying for a Poo-Hoy cheese today. Show brought to you by Poo-Hoy cheese. Just paying for our Poo-Hoy cheese. Have they paid more than Spark? Thanks. Actual sponsors of the podcast? Good question. No, they haven't.

But can you put a price on good cheese? Amy Christensen is next. My name is Amy. I'd like to request an episode. I've got flavour in my lungs. That'll happen on an over-flavoured cracker, I find. You've got crackers all down your front. I'm a personal trainer.

This is Amy Christensen. Learned this on the podcast for 10 years. I work as a personal trainer at City Fitness, so I don't often listen to the show live. Fuck! That's who I scammed for that free five-day pass, remember? City Fitness. Right there. We didnammed for that free five day pass remember? City Fitness.

Right there. We didn't know that until you just said it. Oh fuck. Don't just tell her to delete my name out of the system in Sydney. Oh my god.

A bit of gossip in the background. What? RIP Beth Ditto. Oh. Did she die? Did she die? She didn't die.

I just mean they're not really a thing anymore. Can you Google to see what happened to her? Yeah. That's a very good question. This was a great album. As I recall, even the non-singles were enjoyable.

Anya, do you remember this band? Who? Gossip. Oh, these headphones don't work. Can you sing along? We don't know it until it gets to the... From that rendition? No. Megan's got a photo.

Oh, Gossip. Yeah, yeah, they had that one song. It's playing. It's the one that's playing. It's a, I need you. That's how it goes. And I'm already a god. Can you hear that?

Or are you just freelancing? Have I got anything on my ears? Is this a recent photo of Beth? Yeah, this year. She's gone redhead. Did she die? No. Her hair. Was she not a redhead originally?

No, she had black hair. She's still around. Rest in peace, Beth. Amy Christensen goes on to say she's not dead, just to clarify. Beth did it alive and well. She looks very healthy. I'll be travelling to Singapore at the start of December to represent New Zealand in the Oceania Powerlifting Championships.

Now, to me, this feels like this Amy Christensen could have gone to the Commonwealth Games, but she didn't want to mention it because it's out of Google. Okay, I'm going to give you her. Megan, have you got the gram open? You're our grammar today. Amy, A-I-M-E-E.

Yeah. Kimberly, K-I-M-B. Oh, was it two E's for Amy? Yeah. Kimberly, K-I-M-B-E-R-L-Y. Yeah. Okay, you just look her up. I'm hoping to do some PB's Which stands for peanut butters

And do our country proud I've only been to Australia So I'm really looking forward to exploring Singapore Shameless plug for the gram You just heard me say that Amy Kimberley I do lots of lifting things I've got a little black pug called Doug

Oh my god First of all, pugs are so fucking cute. I hate them. You can call Doug as my dad's name. What? I love your dad.

I need your actual Insta handle. It is Amy Kimberley. She might have changed it. Has she changed since then? Google Amy. Is it Amy dot Kimberley? No, it's just Amy Kimberley

but Kimberley doesn't have an E before the Y. No, I haven't got that. Okay. And I I haven't got that. Okay. And I'd also like to say hello to my dear friend, Romy Lee. Now, Romy, I know for a fact, has been listening for many, many years, who's also a powerlifter. We worked together at Les Mills Auckland,

and even though I moved to Christchurch, we still kept in touch by tagging each other in memes about the gym and our love of delicious food. Thanks for the podcast. P.S. I very much enjoy your Arrested Development references. Now. Is that the bees? Season five is built.

Bees? There's going to be an Arrested Development reference in the Avengers movie too. Wow. I tagged you on that thing the other day. I loved it. Bex Arger is next. International podcast shout out time.

Hello. Thanks for the podcast shout out. I want to make this to my amazing boyfriend, Rahul depending on how big your back catalog is in fiji slash singapore with me right now living our best lives on vacation uh role was a long time a listener a massive fan i mean massive uh sadly in the past roller has tried to get an international podcast shout out but was heartbroken and dutted that he missed out hearing it. This was in Jamie's time, though, so I know Caitlin will get this on air because she's a GB. No, I don't know who's...

James's time. These people don't deal with it. That would have been my fault. Or we definitely... Because the name rings a bell. Rahul's name rings a bell. It happened. He just didn't hear it.

So here I am shouting out to my main man, Rahul, the best boyfriend legendary soccer player that's a rubbish truck and number one travel buddy and making his dreams come true so ni hao bulla and hello thank you for being the uh the best little show that's a nice way of being described uh and getting us through the morning uh ps our instagrams for your stalking purposes uh if you have if you made it in time for our holiday, Bex Agar and Superstar Shah. Superstar Shah.

Rona Phillips is next for an international podcast shout-out. She starts by saying, is this where I send it? Yes. Thanks. Thanks. Great. So you just said, is this where I send it? Thanks.

Quick shout-out. I'm sure I heard you say something about bullet points. So here goes. Just got back from Camp America round two and living on the farm in the middle of Scotland. I listen to the podcast for a daily dose of Kiwi. Constantly finding myself giggling along, generally while I've got my headphones on,

leaving me like a total creeper working around town. So thanks for that. Shout out to Stephen, North Carolina, and Phoebe and Wellington, dedicated podcast family right there. Megan, I just want to say I hope your wedding is absolutely magical. Have the best day. Oh, thank you. Keep up the great

work. P.S. Caitlin, I used to work with your brother at Camp Chippenaw and ended up travelling with him and a bunch of others in Mexico last year. Another quality human. Oh my God. Taylor. Yes, Taylor Fletch. Oh oh that's awesome beekeeper and heir to the fortune that is the the merit honey and big old day hey fletch you said you wouldn't

do that anymore carl he's had a couple of gins the rules are out we don't we all know his brother's got a big dick we don't know that No one has seen that Caitlin If you were a dude You would have a big dick I would Look at my fucking feet I'd have the biggest dick in the room

You probably would If you were a dude So I reckon James got a massive pair of balls But I don't know about the dick He's got the deep voice And to me that's a testosterone thing And that's all balls That's all balls That's why I've got a high voice

Small balls, little dick And no apologies about it No apologies about it My wife's laughing That hurts my face If one person in this room Was to leap to my defence I'd be like

No honey Hey Your dick's fine. I would have expected it to be her, but oh well, I'm on my own. And plus we do know because that girl told us. Okay. It's actually a sworn affidavit. Okay.

That's really lovely that you... I take it as a compliment. Because if you were a dude, you'd have a big dick. That's a genetic. That's genetic. Can we just move on because it's awkward? What want to know is what no i don't know i don't want to know what doug's packing he's got enough to worry about surely doug's packing i must unless it comes from your mom's side of the family i don't know how dicks come down the lineage because there's

different things isn't it like baldness apparently baldness comes from your mum's side. I don't know if I believe that. Google that. Where do you get big dick? Genetically, where does the big dick come from? Family lineage or something. Is it the double X? Is it the XY? What gene?

What chromosome? Big dick chromosome. Remember my dad's speech at my wedding about his big dick? Yeah, because I loved how he dropped that, didn't he? Came a little bit. I let him in because I said he's a man that you don't want to stand next to with the urinal. He'll make you feel insecure, ladies and gentlemen, the father of the bride. And then he gets up and starts talking about his dick.

And your mum's like, not the time. Not the time. But then. Where do you get your penis size from? Mom or dad? Dad. Or is it your grandpa Earl? Well, I don't have a grandpa Earl.

No, mine's so small. Does it say? We're all waiting with anticipation. Do you want a bit of time to read up and we'll come back to you? You do the research. This was from 2016, but I think it's still a repeatable course. Lots changed in dicks in two years. Oh, really?

Huge amount of advancement in genetic dick research. Like fashion, eh, dicks? Always changing. Yeah, but genes are like dicks. They'll always be in fashion. Oh, our vaginas look different because of different reasons. It's not just genetic. Oh, really?

Why? I'll read it. Okay, you do some Jenny's research. Claire Hammond is next. International blogger. Shout out. Hello, all. Riding from the Brussels airport on the way back to Scotland

after a girly weekend in Berlin. Trying to convince my boyfriend, EO, with a thing over it, I-N, that's apparently pronounced Owen, to pick me up from the airport in exchange for A, being a general disappointment, move to Scotland and meet a brawny Scotsman and end up with a skinny Englishman instead, and B, not having to go to church when I

take him back to meet the parents in Kaikoura this Christmas. I listen to you guys every morning to keep up my fuck accent, and Owen, by Osmosis can now sing the fact of the day jingle. His favourite used to be Vaughan until he found out

you didn't poop regularly on holiday and as if I can't and as if three times a day poop or rain, hail or shine he was not impressed at your nervous

bowel constitution. How much is he eating to shit and or do it all at once? I only stop once a day. Once, yeah. Sometimes twice, depending on what I eat. No, I do two.

Really? Sometimes, mostly two, I'd say. I've broken myself one abhorrent shit before bedtime. Yeah, right. Do you shit before bed? I try to do it on morning. No, because I... That's awful.

We're not awful. In the en suite. Yes. Not in the en suite. No, I use the downstairs bar. Oh, right. Either way. I trained myself when we started working mornings.

I was like, A, I'm not shitting at work, and B, I don't have time to shit before work, and C, I don't want to shit when I get home. That's a long time to wait. So I trained myself to shit before bed. That means you're shitting after dinner. Yeah. Yeah, my mum used to say, those who go before a meal go because of need. Those who go after a meal go because of greed.

Oh, that's a good one. What does that mean? I want to eat over a shit because I want to fit more in. No, because you've eaten too much for dinner. Oh! No, it used to be a morning. It used to be a morning, but then we started working mornings and then he goes

on to say, as requested, here are my top tips for travel. Baku and Azerbaijan.baijan atlas mountains in morocco york in the uk slovenia which is the best country hands down uh krakow is the best city but guys listen carefully don't ever kiss the fucking blarney stone you lay back on the floor and lower yourself out of a hole at the top of a giant castle holding on to a tiny set of handlebars that are too low for anybody who is at six foot four with core strength of a stripper who can That doesn't appeal to me, doing that. The Kissing the Blondie song, is it wiped?

No. Between kisses? No. It sounds like a meningitis hotspot. A hub for meningitis. Take my advice, run away screaming, drink a lot to calm yourself down. It sounds like a meningitis hot spot. A hub for meningitis. Take my advice, run away screaming, drink a lot to calm yourself down. I also include a bonus top list.

Most surprising locations that have great wine. Slovenia. I've heard Slovenia's got great wine. In fact, Slovenia might have the largest single cellar of wine. I think I heard that on the podcast, No Such Thing as a Fish. They deal with that. And it's huge. It's absolutely huge. It's one single wine cellar

Croatia Germany Austria and South Africa all great wines now I wanted to end my episode with a question we're looking for tips

for an English lad about how to meet his very Kiwi in-laws for the first time do's and don'ts well it's a bit late isn't it but we can give them

because he's already met them in Kaikoura I think so it sounds like he came back for Christmas so he already met them in Kaikoura. I think so. It sounds like he came back for Christmas, so he already met them. He's having to retire his Pope jokes for the month. P.S. Speaking of the Pope, have you ever heard Tim Minchin's songs, the Pope song, and thank you, God, I have.

Very good for atheists. Don't go into it thinking you're going to hear a lovely song, which is actually thanking God. Owen's favorite is if I didn't have you, Keyline, if I didn't have you, I'd probably just have somebody else instead. So, yeah, I mean, this meeting's gone down. We'd love to know how it went. Yeah, yeah.

But I'm sure he did fine. Patty Ryan, I hope this is the right place for a podcast. Shout out. Thought I'd exploit a loophole as I'm currently in Australia, but actually live in Christchurch. Hashtag sneaky. I just finished my fine arts degree with honors, so naturally I'm about to start working for my dad as a train layer.

This is the thing about a fine arts degree. Yeah. My shout out is actually for you guys, as long as I can remember I've listened to the show. I've been through some tough times, great times, and boring travel times, as I'm sure all the podcast family can agree to. Caitlin, you may remember me from sliding into your Insta DMs

asking how to spell Nungas. Oh, yeah. Remember this young fella This sprungly young fella I don't think it was like in a creepy way He was just like talking to someone And was like you use the word Nungas How do you spell Nungas N-U-G-G-A-H

No that would be Nuggas N-U-N N-U-N. Nuggers. N-U-N-G-A-H. But that's the generally agreed spelling of Nuggers. N-U-N-G-A-H. Oh, you rubbish guys here.

Waste management. Did you put your rubbish out? Is that a bit out? Yeah. A bit out. He's lined it up. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, this motherfucker doesn't get out of the truck. Does he have robot arm yeah you watch his robot arm go up is it a high-vis turbine

that is so inappropriate carl fletcher but you're right it is a high-vis turbine you're also yelling and the door's open no he can't hear oh, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just meant like that. I've never seen a high-vis one. No, you're right. I've never seen a high-vis turban either. But they're normally white, aren't they? That's right, though.

That's insane. Because if you're wearing a beanie and winter working, you've got to make it a high-vis. You can get different colours. Are you kidding me? It's like a health and safety law to have a high-vis turban. What, if you're going to wear it? I don't know.

But I know if you're going to wear a beanie and a situation where that is required. Turbans are all different colours. Yeah, he just probably wanted to match his jacket Serious question That's true Marry up your colours

Is it just like me wearing a hat I can choose any colour I want or do they mean something Serious question I don't know but there are different colours For different things

Lots of different colours Okay Kayla maybe you could research that And also can you Health and safety laws with turbans I'm just going to finish

patties and then we're going to get back to the genitals and where you inherit your penis size and your vagina shape from I wish to leave you with turbans. I'm just going to finish patties and then we're going to get back to the genitals and where you inherit your penis size and your vagina shape from. I wish to leave you with a story that I

always wanted to submit for last calls. I started talking to a girl and she asked if I ski and wanted to cover the mountain and of course I lied and said yeah how

hard could skiing be. Flash forward to finding out she skied for Australia and her whole family ski race. I'm not sure at which stage they realised I had lied about my

skills but I'm pretty sure it might have been when I got stuck on the T-bar lift and dragged up the mountain screaming out with flailing limbs. I love when people lie about knowing how to do something and then have to do it. It must have been somewhat impressive though, as we've been dating ever since, and now giving the long distance thing a go. Thanks, heaps of much love from Paddy. All right, thank you Paddy.

We go down to producer Caitlin who has compiled a thorough report on genital size and where you inherit it from. Just quickly before that, we'll talk about the turbans. So each colour is just like a different colour. So there's no like cultural significance to colours? Some colours like orange, blue and white are traditionally worn during religious celebrations or occasions. Red is traditionally worn during sick weddings. Sick weddings.

So that was Hiver's orange. That wasn't a celebration time. So maybe it is. He does have to wear a... Yeah. But you're wearing a jacket. That's enough, right? No, I've heard if you are going to wear a hat in certain industrial circumstance,

if you are going to, it can't be a dark colour. It's got to be bright because someone could misjudge where your head is. Right. If someone was to come through the factory. So maybe he does. Maybe it is a legitimate requirement. Penises. Go on.

So it's kind of like if your dad's tall, then you're going to be tall. You know how they always say like, oh, their parents are pretty tall, then they're probably going to be tall. If your dad's got a big dick, you've probably got a big dick. Oh God, I love that. But I read that one brother might have a big dick and then the other brother might not.

You can inherit different... I know someone that slept with twins. Who? I know someone that slept with twins and they had identical penises, but that's different though. That's twins though. They're genetically almost like a card and copy. Also, it actually has nothing to do with race

or anything like that. It's always about your height and overall proportion. That's not right though, is it? As a six foot two man with a small penis I'm waving my America's Cup protest flag. And it can be on hormones as well.

Like earlier when you're developing. Yeah, I was on a lot of estrogen. But do you ever get it from your mum's side then? Or is it just from your dad's side? It says here you can get it from your mum's side. Truck driver there is bald. He's not wearing any high-vis top, but he's wearing a high-vis jacket. Yeah, that's true. Maybe

it was the turban and the helmet. No, I don't know. Why is there a digger on our road? But also, apparently, if you don't use your dick that much, then it gets really small. Like a muscle. Can you pass that to Anya? Anya, it's your turn to do

a home report on dick size. No, you have to use it. You have to, like, touch it and stuff home report on dick size. No, you have to use it. You have to like touch it and stuff. It's like it's a muscle. You have to touch it and stuff. Take it to the doctor. Give that to Anya. She's going to do a report. I need my computer.

Can you do it on your phone? Anya, can you please do a Google? No, I'm with this. I believe it. And vaginas come in all different shapes and sizes. Is there a correlation between vaginas? Like if your mum's got a mint fanny, are you going to get one? A mint fanny?

I don't know. I'm just reading this. This is an opinion piece. Oh, yeah. So, okay. I don't even know. What a fact piece. Anya, produce a fact piece for us, please.

You read the news. Oh, you already got an answer. Yeah, this article says, I never doubted my brother and I had the same father until I saw the size of his genitals. So I don't know if this is true. So the brother saw the other brother's dad? No, but it says, the one I read, it said it was just like eye colour.

So you could get chromosomes from your mum or your dad. So you and your brother could have one could have big one could have small I don't want to get my mum's dick No but if you have your mum and if you have your mum's your grandad your grandad on your mum's side

What do you have to say to mum? Mum what was grandad's dick like? Because I don't know where I got my dick from Like blue eyes you're like oh okay grandad had blue eyes

I got grandad's blue eyes Did I get grandad's dick? Which grandad? Okay somebody consider. Very important. Do you want to know the different vaginal shapes? Conical, parallel sides, heart, slug, and pumpkin seed. Slug.

I don't have a slug vagina. That's the duddest vagina shape. A pumpkin seed, that's quite cute. That's my vagina. A pepita. A pepita. That's what they call. A pumpkin seed, that's quite cute. That's my vagina. A pipita. A pipita. That's what they call them. Oh, mami, da pipita.

That's what they call them in South America. Yeah, yeah. Mexico. Anya, if you just spend 10 minutes here to get a good answer for us. You know, you should go to Quora, K-U-O-R-A. No, Q-U, isn't it? Q-U, K. Oh, yeah, Q.

No, but then they ask you to sign up after you've looked it up. No, no, no, no. You just Google. You just search within that website for someone will definitely answer that question. But you know what you need to do? Put your hands up if you've got a slug. Fuck. That was so weird.

No one's putting their hand up to having a slug. We've all got little papitas. Papitas. Big old slug. We've all got little papitas. Papitas. Big old slug over here. No one's blaming that old bloody tree stump, Tammies. You may have a little peanut, but you've got a bush in your hand. What if PJ said something? What if a vagina looked like a cactus?

We didn't hear about what PJ said about me. No, PJ was the pizza slicer. No, PJ was the pizza slicer. What were you? Duck bill. Nothing. Did you say duck bill? No. What was the pizza slicer No PJ was the pizza slicer What were you? Duck Bill Nothing Didn't she say Duck Bill? No

What was yours? This is Caitlin by the way Mine is a perfect vagina I've just got a heavy flow Okay Good God Alright moving on From one Caitlin to another

Caitlin Penty Now I've got an edit I've got edit notes for this one Because I'm going to read this as it came And then what happened in the meantime. Caitlin said, Hi, I'd like to request an international podcast shout out if I may. I was intended to send this

while I was in Melbourne over the weekend, but it was a short trip and I was busy so I exploited a loophole instead. Now this is the Caitlin that told us that Jonathan Groff was coming to New Zealand. Oh, she went to Jonathan Groff's teachings in Christchurch. Great chat with him. I'll keep this short.

Dedicating this episode to my boyfriend, Liam, who's from Perth, living in Sydney, currently in Melbourne, working as a stage manager for the Pop-Up Globe. We met in August last year

when he was in New Zealand for a show and have been together since. He's probably the okayest person I know. I introduced him to the podcast during a mini-roady

of the South Island a year later. He loves you as much as I do and he can finally tell Fletch and Fawn apart. You may remember us from your Shortland Street debut. I came wearing a cape, and he gave you an outstanding review and recommended you try your hand at treading the boards. I remember. I wasn't going to give any compliments because F the rules and also stay humble, I have to say Megan you're going to be a beautiful bride and I look forward to seeing

some wedding steps. I'm pulling a fletch and flying back to Melbourne on Christmas Day because shit guys flights are so expensive over the holidays.

I had to spend two weeks with Liam before heading back to work for 2018. It'll be the first time we've spent more than a couple of days together since

September and I'm very excited. It's a great tip for getting cheap EFS. On Christmas Day. People want to be with their families or some shit apparently. Yeah. You're all about saving some dollars.

There are a million more things I could say but this is already getting quite long so I'll leave it at that. Thanks to the entertainment. Thanks to the podcast during work days and workouts. Here comes the edit. Caitlin messaged me soon after saying that her and Liam were no more. They'd broken up

she said I'm no longer with Liam you can still do the shout out but I'm not with him anymore I know they're over that's sad when they were apart things seemed to be good didn't they but then when they got back together

maybe they realised that it was Anya. Why are you laughing? This is a tender moment. What's happened? What's happened on that side of the room? There's some,

some overall sniggers coming from the North end of the room. Whereas the South end of the room, professional consummate broadcasting professionals and Caitlin are maintaining a non giggly. I had my finger in the olives. I was, I was the olive. I was there. Is the olive another shape of vagina?

Oh, could be. Could be, couldn't it? If you open the olive, it's got that little bit in the middle. That's weird. Do you have a pet in your vagina?

No, no, no. I'm talking about Don't worry, Anya. I'm not going to explain what the vagina looks like. Are you going to explain what your giggles were about? No, no, no.

No giggles. Let's keep going. Next, Bri Stewart. Hi, fam. My name's Bri. You may remember me from such shout-outs as my Christmas Bali adventure with my family and boyfriend. I'm riding this on a plane, typical, on the way home from one month in Japan with my two

best friends, one of which I dedicated my previous shout-out to. I'll keep this brief, and I'll use bullet points to try to stay on track. I dedicate this podcast shout out to Amy, who I'm traveling with, even though you can't read a map to save yourself, all passive aggressive. We would be nowhere near as organized without you. Our other friend that we're traveling with doesn't listen to the podcast in

spite of my constant nagging that she should. Thank you to the podcast to help me cope with my hospital job. It helped me save enough for this trip. Even though I enjoy being a barista, talking to people all day is not my forte. Funnily enough, Vaughn came into my work on my last shift before this trip and I didn't say anything.

And his kids were even more cute in real life. That's good because I tell them off a lot when they're being rowdy, when they're getting up to ruckus. I don't know where that would have been. To anyone thinking of going to Japan, you simply must going in the autumn.

This is what somebody else said about going to Japan. Japan seems, so our spring is their autumn because they're a northern country. That seems to be the time to hit Japan. Because of the autumnal colours. Well, the autumnal colours are wonderful. Some of my must-dos are Dotonbori and Osaka, Hiroshima's Peace Park, Mount Fuji,

the Torii Gates in Kyoto, and just all of Tokyo. Word of caution, though. If you are a vegetarian, you will seriously struggle to eat traditional foods or finding food in general. The people of Japan are amazing and kind. Even if you look mildly confused at a map,

someone will try to come up and help you. Oh, that's nice. Interesting that they're vegetarian. I've never heard that vegetarians might struggle in Japan. Here's hoping the second shout-out brings me up to friend of the show status. Guaranteed. After your second shout-out. And by the time you guys read this out, I've sorted out my life

and hopefully no longer working in hospo. Thanks, Heap. Sorry the bullet points didn't keep me on track and keep this short, but I tried. T-Heap. You did. Thanks again from Briar. Thank you, Briar. I need to go wheezing.

Anya, have you got an update on the... Have you done some research on the peanuts? Um... I was doing it, and then I started thinking about magnums. So I stopped. So before the shoutouts today, we went to the supermarket. Vaughan wasn't

here at the supermarket, but we were loading up the trolley, and Anya brings in boxes of Magnums, plain-flavoured Magnums. Legend. Clementine Flatley is next for the podcast. Shoutouts. I'm just going to continue in Vaughan's absence

so we can get through these. Sorry to do this to you, but can I please request an IPSO? I've already had an IPSO this year, so I'll keep it short and sweet. Soz for being greedy. Looking forward to hearing the 2018 special, perhaps Vaughan's turn.

Smoked mates and banter from Indian August. Well, they're not here, are they? They're at the grandparents this weekend. Feeling vulnies after my second night out in Madrid. Bad life choices made by me and my Bessie mate. Consumption of an Aussie hottie. Whoops. What do you think that means?

Consumption. Consumption of an Aussie hottie. Did you? I need Carl to tell me I'm not a sluzzer. You're not a sluzzer. What does consumption mean to you? I just think she slept with an Aussie. That's all that happened there.

Shout out to my mate Liz for encouraging tattoos and excessive tequila. Hopefully when we play this to her, she'll finally agree to listen to the potty. Thanks to the FEM team for the lulz and keeping me sane during a very stressful year. Clementine Flatley, who engaged with an Australian earlier. What's happening outside the window? Is there a digger?

A couple of houses down. Our neighbour's neighbour is taking his quarter acre section and subdividing it. And it's been the talk of the street. I bet it. And it's been the talk of the street. I bet it has. It's been the talk of the street as to how he's going to do it, what he's going to do, what kind of house he's going to build on the front half of the section

after the current house has moved to the back. Goodness me. Okay. All right. You sit back down. I've done Clementine. Marie's up next. Marie Stenning.

Here you go. Always good to hear from Marie. Where's Megan? Oh, she's having a spew. She's on the phone. Has she? She's on the phone. Oh, she's having a spew. She's on the phone. She's on the phone. Oh, she's on the phone. I thought she'd nipped her for a nap.

Marie Stenning, who is a friend of the show, friend of the show. We've heard from Marie before. I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say, Merry Christmas or Happy Anzac Day. Earlier in the year, I had my first episode where you thought it was hilarious that I was in Canberra. I'll give you that one.

Doing my international trampoline judging course. Well, joke's on you because my trampoline judging has also taken me to Switzerland this year. And I'm currently sitting in Singapore's Changi Airport, which is a huge airport. It's a wonder of engineering, isn't it, Changi Airport? In Singapore. It certainly is, Morgan. It's huge. It's in a big U-shape, three different terminals. You can catch a train between the terminals.

We got a free tourist $20 voucher to use. $40, I believe. And you can spend it on whatever you want. You just have to line up to cash it in. It's a pretty sweet gig as most trips are majority funded as well as making lifelong friends from around the world. Great to see different places too. As Sofia Bogara, this is Sofia in Bulgaria,

not Sofia Bogara, the woman off Modern Family, was never on the bucket list but looking forward to doing some day trips to Serbia and Macedonia on my days off. Upon my return to New Zealand, we're packing up the family and moving to Melbourne to start up the delicious Fritz's Wieners across the ditch. So soon Aussies can be introduced to decent sausage as opposed to the old cheese sizzlers they seem to think are the best things ever. However, the whole snake situation where we're living is making me quite fearful e.g tiger snakes and brown snakes in the area fuck that trying to keep awake for my 12 a.m departure

5 a.m new zealand time so i'm riding the travelators up and down as i need to stretch my legs but i'm actually too tired to walk hindsight has told me that high heel boots weren't a smart choice for traveling as they didn't fit in my suitcase. That's when I went through Changi Airport I was wearing a size too small chucks

so I pulled the laces out and that was just an awful, awful idea. Everything was terrible. Never fly in chucks. Definitely don't fly in heels because your feet swell up. I have to wear flight socks

because my legs swell up. That's when I got a deep vein thrombosis when I was wearing chucks. Really? Yeah, that's why I'm like, I reckon they did it. They're out the window,

you get a healthy shoe. Also, I'm listening to the podcast, so I'm looking like a bit of an idiot, having a bit of a grin on my face walking around this airport. Thanks for the podcast. Happy holidays. Love from Marie.

Thanks, Marie. Sarah Burkett is next. I was just doing that just so you could eat your chips warm. This is stalling for a second of time there. Canan, would you be able to slice me one slice of each of the cheeses? From Poohoi. Poohoi cheeses.

What's that? A cheese. I think that's a rindwashed brie. Don't touch that. Don't poke it. I think that's a rindwashed, I don't know what kind of cheese. That's the brie and then there's two blues. The kaiwaka blue.

Two do I for. Okay. I wrote't know what kind of cheese. That's the Brie. And then there's two blues. The Kaiwaka Blue. Two die for. Okay. Gelder. I wrote this in September and totally forgot to send it. Pretty please. Greetings, everybody. I wrote this en route to Bali during the height of the great jet fuel crisis of 2017. Remember that?

Yeah. The line got punched in by a digger. That's right. Wasn't that April? No. October. Much later in the year. October, yeah.

Suffering from anxiety and not having left New Zealand in nine years, you'll understand my annoyance that some douchebag has put his digger through the only fuel pipe to the Auckland airport. And they've never, do you know they closed the case on that? They were like, we don't know who did that. Really? Yeah, they were just like, uh. They gave up.

Yeah. A 50-minute stop at Brisbane Airport to refuel, and now we're on our way. Anyway, thank you for being my morning, sometimes afternoon. Listen, the humour tickles my fancy and at present my husband is laughing at me laughing at you. I frequently poke myself in the eye while applying mascara

or get caught crying with laughter at the traffic lights. Some very lovely compliments thus here follow. Mention of the show Secret to Lady Diana, to Princess Di, the People's Princess, the Minesweeper of Cambodia. And yes, you're right. Love you guys.

She's got some cheese for you. Do you want them on crackers or do you just want one at a time? I want them on those oat crackers. Please. Do you want the... What have we got there? Is that like a quince? It's so good.

The quince paste. Yeah, I'm down for some quince. I need more quince in my life. Hi, FEMZ. My name is Zoe Brook. I'd like to caress that international pocket. Shout out for Lauren Jewhurst. Lauren, I have no idea if you remember me,

but we went to Blamace UN Intermediate together. I think we might have been in Mrs. Patterson's class together. I saw you pop up on the fan facey page when you were in hospital And hope you are 300% feeling better and doing awesome I've been living in New Zealand's most western city, Perth For the last four years studying dentistry I graduate on December 12 and I'm returning to live in the motherland On December 13 I am at Beyond Jazz

My boyfriend and I are planning to walk the South Island section of the Te Araroa track 1300km from Bluff to Ship's Cove. We've been doing long distance so every night and day tramping and tent sleeping together might be a challenge. Thanks to the potty. You've been the light on many a dark homesick day. P.S. Vaughan

and everyone else, if you're ever in Dunedin and need a dental checkup come in. It's like ripping off a bandaid. Just get it done. and everyone else, if you're ever in Dunedin and need a dental checkup, come in. It's like ripping off a band-aid. Just get it done. You actually do need to get your crown actually replaced, don't you? Well, you just got yours done

and it was $1,500. Well, yeah. They've got the temporary one in. I'm getting the real one next week. Christ. Should have gone to Thailand for that. Should have. Got to get a little holiday.

Eddie Van Oosten is next with probably the shortest ever international podcast shoutout in the world. Shoutout to Shubbs Zegel Zaria for keeping me company in the UK. Love, Ed Van Oosten. He's short, formal and to the point. I like it, Eddie. I like it. His name made up a very large, his name and his

mate's name made up the majority of that podcast shoutout. Eddie Van Oosten. Thanks, Eddie. Annalise Bond is next. International podcast Asten. Thanks, Eddie. Annalise Bond is next. International podcast incoming. My name's Bond. Annalise Bond. Shout out to myself. I'm currently sitting in Fiji in some very intense heat.

It's 10.20 a.m., 29 degrees, 98% humidity. I'm here for 14 days. Anyway, a group from a glorified farm of a university, Lincoln, has headed over here on a somewhat cultural slash mission trip. We've been billeted out to locals to get the full Fijian experience, which is the case. The buses don't have windows. It's insane, and they play the same beat over every song in the buses.

It's so crazy. The Fijian versus Kiwi league game is on this saturday which our hosts are throwing a party for and i'm very torn as to who to support my lifelong goal has been to run an episode uh but it was my worst fear that you guys would stop doing them or finish radio before i went overseas so goal achieved for now i'll keep it short uh hopefully you're a little bit tipsy so you give away more secrets presuming this will be the end of the year shout out special uh anyway i hey i know you have a million of these to read out. I'd love to be anointed friend of the show,

and it would make my life. Yes, Annalise, come forward. Anointed. You are now anointed. P.S., James, nice voice, wink face. Thank you. I should have made a few words. Very much.

Caitlin, Megan, I also have blonde moments. Fletch, stop being grumpy. Oh, I'm being cute as fuck at the moment. Hashtag Chad. Hashtag Flamingos. Hashtag peace out. Hashtag already know the show's secret. Hashtag proud to be a Kiwi.

To Princess Di. It's okay, not to be a, to Princess Di. And the show's secret. Steph Russell, FEMZN fam, Merry Christmas to you. My name's Steph. I'm a long-time listener. First time episode hailing from Nelson and sitting in Christchurch.

But for the last four months, I've been living in Copenhagen while I finished my law degree, which basically means I'm traveling around Europe every weekend and occasionally going to lectures. I'll keep this snappy. Before coming to Copenhagen, I did what any 20-something Kiwi does in their OE,

a Kentucky. Mine went around Eastern Europe. Highlights include partying on a river cruise in Butterpiece, getting lost in Venice. I also paid my respects at Auschwitz, which is incredibly sad and bizarrely beautiful. Even though I'm overhead to finish studying, I've really made the most of cheap European flights.

My favorite city so far is St. Petersburg, which is Russian, isn't it? Yeah, it is, yeah. And favorite activity was the Blue Lagoon in Iceland. Oh, I want to go to that. That looks amazing. I've got to start

wrapping this up. I've got to start wrapping up the trips now as exams are literally around the corner and I have to pass them to get my flash grad job in Auckland next year.

I've got less than a month left of my exchange and I'm really sad about it being finished but I'm also excited. My family's making the long distance journey from little old New Zealand

to spend hopefully a white Christmas with me in Stockholm. sister and I then take a few weeks to travel around Spain and Portugal uh we're heading to London to see the Lion King and go to the Harry Potter tour I can't do an episode without making a shout out to Meg she made working over the summer bearable as we continually got too drunk at work parties and we're too busy messaging each other about this podcast I never do any work. Finally, thanks for the podcast. It's always helpful when I'm felt homesick. Megan, I can't wait to see your wedding photos.

XO, XO, Steph, got to take this opportunity to confirm the show's secret. Yes to Princess Diana. To Princess Diana. Now, what's Megan on the phone? Megan doesn't talk on the phone, but she's been on the phone for like 15 minutes. Yeah.

She's got to explain this. She was giggling before. It might be Andrew. No, they wouldn't talk for that Yeah. She's got to explain this. She was giggling before. It might be Andrew. No, they wouldn't talk for that long. She's playing with her hair, but she does that all the time. Okay. It might be business related.

Maybe, maybe. You should try the Poo Hoi Gin as well. Someone just commented. Vanessa Crockett said you should try the Poo Hoi Gin. And then Ra said, most welcome for the cheese. Anytime. We don't do alcohol. It must be a local gin that supplies the cafe with gin.

Well, somebody needs to own that Poo-Hoy trademark, don't they? Poo-Hoy organic distillery. Poo-Hoy organic distillery, but in no way associated to the cheese. Simply geographically very close. Sarah America is next, associated to the cheese. Simply geographically very close. Sarah America is next, friend of the show. Dear fam, Sarah America here for the annual Ipso.

Guys, this year has been a year. I turned 30, gained a new niece, and by the time this is read out, I'll probably have finished The Wire. What a year! Great show. Still a great show. At a celebratory, I decided to take a month-long holiday and spend some quiet time on a goat dairy farm in southern Portugal. Since I leave for Portugal on December 18,

I'm pulling Carl Fletcher and skipping Christmas with the fam. I feel a little selfish, but I'm also really excited not to break out in hives whenever family members insist on discussing how great Donald Trump has been for America. Oh, God. Shout out to my girl, Ben Brook, as always. She got engaged this year,

and babes, I can't wait for your hashtag wedding of the year. I also can't wait to see you in Lisbon this month for a couple day catch up. We will undoubtedly spend copious amounts of time, maybe even getting tattoos again. Last but certainly not least, thanks for the podcast and fostering such a lovely community. It must feel weird to hear this from complete strangers, but the community is a great little potty family. Thank you for being kind and welcoming. In closing, I hope each and every one of you

have a lovely holiday. And we did. Thank you. Well, we will in a couple of weeks. Much love and waffling from 2018. Yeah, we've got another holiday coming up. Yeah, it's important to stay on top of those holidays. Megan, Megan's back.

Who are you talking to? Someone. Mysterious. No, I've got a job to do. But I'm not allowed to tell you what it is. I've got a job with a company. Yeah, good. Stop the music.

No, no, no. Tell me. No, I can't tell you because it's a company and they're doing this thing. Can you tell me later? No, but me and Andrew are doing it together so we're like working together.

Oh my gosh. You are going to be Sonny and Cher, the new Sonny and Cher. Yes. Yes, we are. What was that Sonny and Cher song?

I got you, babe. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you.

I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you.

I got you. I got you. I got you. I like how we all picked a different line to sing. I got flowers in my hair in the spring I like how we all picked a different line to sing I got you you in my ring

and when I'm dead you're around no you're a clown and if I get scared you're always around no Caitlin clown was the last one it's around this time it was five times no it doesn't it's raining You're fucking scared. You're always a clown. No, Caitlin. Clown was the last one. It's around this time.

No, it doesn't. It's raining. Shut the ranch, slider. If you're scared, a clown is only going to add to the fear. I always go home with a headache. Do you know that? I wonder why. Probably because of Caitlin's misuse of Sonny and Sheila.

I would imagine. Hey, look what I did for you, Vaughan. I've made all of the cheeses. Oh, my God. Pass them on. Which ones do you want first? Maybe there's a would imagine. Hey, look what I did for you, Vaughan. I've made all of the cheeses. Oh my god, pass them on. Which ones do you want first? There's a little post-it. Oh, that's so cute. James, we should tee up Sonny and Cher. I got you.

Oh, I thought you meant for an interview. I was like, is Cher dead? Sonny's dead. Sonny crashed into a tree, didn't he? Cher is a fucking queen. I love that bitch. Is that how he died? She's an icon. He was skiing and he hit a tree and he died. Here's one, Blue. Much like Liam Neeson's wife. Oh, no. Yeah love that bitch. Is that how he died? She's an icon. Crash, he was skiing and he hit a tree and he died. Here's one blue. Much like Liam Neeson's wife.

Oh, no. Yeah, that's right. That was horrible. And Michael Schumacher. Michael Schumacher. And the GoPro. It was the GoPro on his helmet that did him bad. It got pushed right into his face.

He's still alive. Do you reckon they got that footage? I wouldn't want to watch that. Wait, he's still alive, eh? Yeah, but he's in a vegetative state. Is he?

Onion. Did he not wake up? You don't know that. No, he's woken up. He's just not the same. No, he's not. No, there were rumours making it.

He's not woken up. He's a vegetable. They said he was getting better. It's lies. Really? I was wondering what happened with him.

Good song, this. Wasn't he in a coma for months? Do you know she was at Sydney Gay Pride? We missed out Absolutely missed out That blue cheese Teens up with that Wonderfully

And again to mention Our cheese sponsor for the day Pumoi Cheeses And baby I got you In no way related to Pumoi Pumoi Gin Weren't these the TV2 ad for a while? I got you. In no way related to Booboo. That's quite good for me, isn't it? For a reason. We'll use the TV2 ad for a while. I got you, babe.

Yeah. I got you, babe. Shots with the bobble. I got you, babe. Shots is just for us. You're double parked. Oh. Oh, my God.

Hey, can I just say. Because we've been saving this for a special occasion, so you should be on. This is some fucking... This is verve. Verve. Oh, shit. I feel unworthy. We need to change the batteries.

We're having a quick break. I got you, babe. I got you, babe. I got flowers in the spring