ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 03 2019

Episode Date: April 2, 2019

Vaughan really wants a robot vacuum cleaner, another day, another Lime Scooter story and when did showing off cost you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Hanyu. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. Are we... We're in the last week pre-daylight savings. That's this Sunday, isn't it? Oh, yeah. I've forgotten about that.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry about this. Oh, Vaughan. And which part. Yeah, look, I'm sorry about this. Oh, boy. And which part is the daylight savings? What do you mean? Are we about to start saving daylight? For when we use it in summer. Yeah. No, because I thought daylight savings is we're saving some from the night

and putting it in the morning. Yeah, that's what it is. So we're about to go into the period of daylight savings. Whereas a friend of mine thought what we're in now is daylight savings. Oh, right. Okay. No, you save the daylight in winter, don't you? Yeah, you save it from the night and put it in the morning, right?

Yeah. That's why we go back an hour. Right. Otherwise, it wouldn't get light till like 9 a.m. or something. That's just making me depressed now. You'll be okay. I'll be fine. I will be fine. I do like a bit of...

I just love a bit of light in the evening. But, you also love your winter duvet. You were telling me yesterday, I was telling Elizabeth, this bougie, man, he's getting it dry cleaned. It's bougie. Stop saying bougie. Bougie is budget, right? That's the flash where I was saying budget.

Bougie or bougie? I'm definitely more bougie than I am bougie. Bougie is budget, right? That's the flash where I say budget. Bougie or bougie? I'm definitely more bougie than I am bougie. No, but it's important because you forget to clean your winter duvet. Do you ever clean it? No, just give it a shake. Why are you supposed to clean it in the washing machine? Well, no, you're not meant to put it in the washing machine because it's got all feathers and stuff. Oh, no, I don't have feather one.

Oh, my God. Okay. Feather duvet. I told you I'm bougie. No, it makes me sneeze. And then they all pull out and end up on your floor. Yeah. No, that's the good part.

But anyway, it's not going to happen because it'll get cold and I'll be like, I need my winter duvet. Now. It's on for another season. You've dilly-dallied. My winter duvet is just a thicker foam. Yeah. My one's just a foaming blanket underneath the actual summer duvet.

Above the top sheet. Leopard print. Leopard print, isn't it? Is that why it's underneath the duvet? It's a Ford Mustang print. It's a Mustang. Actually. Right.

Well, the Bob Marley one just got ruined with cat fur, so. It's so hard to find a good foam ink. What a lovely design. That really says, this is who I am. I feel like if anyone was going to have a car duvet, it would be your boyfriend, intern, aren't you? I am going to choose not to discuss the duvet cover that he had when we got together. Are you putting the film on his duvet cover?

What brand was it? Hold in. Oh, this is so mean mean But he's still asleep Jim Beam Jack Daniels No He had a Combi

Shark dude A V-Dub Like a Volkswagen Combi Yeah Cause he's all into like Beatles and V-Dubs Yeah Was it like a single

V-Dub It could have been a lot worse No It was a bougie double That's right That's bougie Cause you, you know, I used to flat with a guy and he lived in his room. He never really came out.

And when the door was open, sometimes you could see he had a single bed and it had a SpongeBob SquarePants do they? Oh, no. He was probably getting a lot, wasn't he? Heaps. He would put a security system in to keep them out. Because they all wanted in. Oh, didn't they want?

For that, okay. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, man rages at supermarket checkout. Headline two, Mick fight. And headline three,

thieves not thinking before stealing door cameras. Oh, silly. They'll be seen. They will be seen on the colorars. Because it'll upload to the cloud.

Because how do yours work if they get motion? Upload to the cloud. They start reporting and it uploads to the cloud and it saves it locally as well. Right. But not on the camera. Stealing the camera

is just pretty much pulling the camera towards your face for a bit of look. Idiots. McFight, that's a fight in a McDonald's. Yes. Over nuggies or something? No. It doesn't mention food. Right. Okay. What? Just a brawl.

It just happened to be a McDonald's. Just a McBrawl, yeah. Ah, okay. One then, I think. Man rages at supermarket? Yes. And quite seriously, he's actually been arrested, this man. Oh, okay. This is in York County in the Fairview Township.

He was 55. This man's a 55-year-old man. He is facing an assault charge. After he employed... Excuse me. He assaulted an employee at a supermarket earlier this month. And he is facing an assault charge after he employed, excuse me, he assaulted an employee at a supermarket earlier this month. Now, the incident occurred. The man was at the checkout.

And he was upset with the way his groceries were being bagged. Sometimes that used to upset me too before I, you know, bagged mine. I know. Isn't it amazing? Have you ever been to a supermarket, like, lately where, like, someone else bags them? Yeah. The thing that irks me is they put three things, they used to put, like, three things in a bag and then get a new bag.

I was like, no, just fill that one. Seven was the absolute maximum. That was the policy rule. Is that the rule? Oh, I don't know. We want to wear the oceans full of plastic bags. Yeah. Well, anyway, he was upset with the way that the canned goods

were being put into a bag with chips in them. Oh, yeah, no, that's not good. So the cashier had put some chips, potato chips, in the bag and then put cans on top of the chips. And he was with his wife, this man, when he became upset that the chips were smashed. He said that he asked the cashier to stop bagging his

groceries this way. And as he was leaving, the cashier told police that he asked the cashier, do you have a problem with me? Because I have a problem with you. The cashier said that he thought Bowel was joking and replied do you? And that's when

the attack happened. Oh, heck. Yes. And apparently there was some bruising on the neck. And the whole incident was caught on surveillance camera. Police say they're reviewing that footage and he's been charged. I'd have no problem with chips and tinned items in the same bag as long as the tinned items are on the bottom.

Yeah, well, that's the problem. They didn't go on the bottom first. And also that's the reason that they don't put too many chips in a bag of chips is so that it provides its own cushioning.

Yeah. I remember that mum's got to be very careful when she buys dad's cornflakes. What? He'll get upset if it's just a bag of crumbs at the end.

Yeah, if they get too sad. But it's always the last little bit is always just a crumb. Oh yeah, because yeah it's cornflakes. Yeah, if they get too sad. But it's always, the last little bit's always just a crumb. Oh yeah, because yeah, it's cornflakes. Yeah, he's just full of bits.

He'd have to pour very carefully. He's had the same thing for as long as I can remember. Cornflakes at breakfast. Every morning. With anything else? Milk and...

Just milk. And I think maybe a bit of sugar. But I think now mum's told him off and he's got to have artificial sugar. Does she say things like

there's plenty enough sugar in it already? Yeah. That's a mum line to dads. Don't forget about your cholesterol. There's plenty enough sugar in that already. Does your pet have a CV? And is it up to date? This is a question you need to ask yourself if you're a renter.

Yeah. Because apparently this could be on the rise While very rare at the moment Pet CVs could be happening Now this would be It's not like your pet's work experience But it would be like when you get a reference from a previous landlord It would also be including

If that pet left any damage to the previous house Ooh, okay So you would need, but this is It's a weird one because it would be very easy to lie on, wouldn't it? Well, not if they were, that's why you'd need the reference, you'd imagine But you just get your mate to Like, I'm looking to rent and I've got a dog And I'm trying to say it's chilled, even though it's not

And I just say, oh yeah, my previous landlord, Carl Fletch, is available on this number. Wouldn't there be a way to check though who owns that property? Would you? If you had a good mate that was good at lying, you could definitely get away with it. If you're going to the trouble of getting them to do a pet CV, you probably would check. Wouldn't you? Who the owner is. The validity of the person claiming to be

the reference. Well, I think if you ring them up and they sound like, you know, a 19-year-old. Oh, yeah, he lives in my house. I've got multiple properties, heaps. Really nice ones. I just imagine all the landlords I've had, they just sound like real old mates. Yeah.

So you'd need an old mate if they were going to lie. Yeah. Get your dad to do it. Yeah. Is that what dads do? Do dads lie for their kids? I don't know. I mean, if they trusted them, sure. Yeah.

So there's what was called the Osaki ruling, which found that landlords insurance should cover unintentional damage by tenants and damage caused by pets is unintentional. Right. So now what? More landlords are going to be unlikely to let you have pets? Yeah. Well, only 16% apparently of listed rental properties have pets being welcome or at all negotiable.

Negotiable. Negotiable. What about when you got your flat? Because you've got that little dog with the googly eyes. Leo is his name. Yeah. He's got a name. Googly-eyed Leo.

Googly-eyed Leo. You guys are so mean. You're not invited to his birthday party. He's having his 21st this year. Silly dog. With a goldfish and a chameleon and other googly-eyed animals coming together. So, yeah, when we got the flat, we waited until we knew they liked them. And then we were like, hey, also, we've got like a little dog.

He's toilet trained. Like he never would wee inside. We'll pick up after him. Like, yeah, did the full cell. And he's really quiet. Like he doesn't bark much. He doesn't shed. Yeah.

Um, and they were fine with it. But he was a border collie in the house beforehand. So a little dog wasn't a problem. A little dog's going to still chew holes in skirting boards. Just takes them a little bit longer. And has he actually done a mess inside at all? No, never. My brother and sister-in-law had a dog in their Sydney apartment and

the landlord came around and every time they'd ship the dog off to Doggy Daky, but the landlord said, oh, and at some stage you're going to get these floors sanded because your secret dog scratched them with his claws. Because it would run and it would just scratch the hardwood floors. They had to get the entire place

the hardwood floor re-sanded and re-varnished. And that's when they found out he had spy cams in the ceiling. No, they just would literally come around and be like, the scrapes aren't from the children. Your children don't have claws while they're running on the ground. And they had to do the whole wall. Fair enough, though.

Yeah. But then unintentional damage under this other, I don't know too much about this Osaki ruling, but you'd be crazy to have a rental and not have insurance, right? Because people. Yeah. I mean, that's it. People are the best advertisement for insurance across the board.

Yeah. Driving without insurance? Have you heard of people? Living without insurance? You've heard of people, right? Well, they're the worst. You just need to think back to your Hamilton flatting days. Oh, my God.

We were people of the highest order. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. The Chase is a game show where contenders go on and try to outwit and thus outrun because questions are steps towards that final goal. Some very intelligent people. This is a show I only ever see like the last 10-15 minutes of. Yeah.

Because I always put it on before the news. Yeah. If I'm watching the news. And they're always smug aren't they? Yeah. They're the smug brainiacs. I always thought what's also stopping the people producing the show just giving the answers. Yeah. Beforehand. Oh well yeah they could but they have two sets of questions going into that final round. So they're like, do you want set A or B?

Oh, right. Oh, they could just... They could still give them both sets. Give them both and save them so much money. But anyway, the Beast is a contender. Oh, no, he's not a contender. He is... One of the chasers.

Yeah, he's the chaser. He's one of the high profile ones. Yeah, he's the chaser. He's one of the high profile ones. He, it came out a little while ago, the person that he had married, the 26 year old that he'd married, he's 53. The 26 year old that he's married was his cousin. Now they didn't know that going into this whole. Apparently not.

How do you not know? Second cousins. Oh, second cousins. So they have the same great-grandmother. Okay. So that wouldn't be illegal here in New Zealand? I don't think it is. I mean, certainly it's awkward at Christmas.

Yeah. So they've got a child too. Right. Apparently. Is it right? And for some backstory and the reason why we're talking about this, because a while ago in Ternania, you said you quite fancied the beast from the chase. You weren't even baited into it.

It wasn't a trick. It was on and you just said there's potential there. Yeah. Look, it was a passing comment and everyone's like, you think the chase's so hot all the time. It does sound like us. It's like you can't say anything around here. No, look, he's like a man in a suit,

and he's always got that lovely suit on. He's got a good head of lovely jet black hair. I couldn't believe when you... He's like my nana. The weird thing is he's a clever boy. He's a lovely when you... You sound like my nana. The weird thing is he's a clever boy. Yeah, he's so smart. He's the exact opposite

of what your boyfriend is. Yeah. And it's unusual, isn't it? Like polar opposite. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I've got a range of interests.

Like this guy's 53 and your boyfriend looks like your son. Oh, yeah. Well. Well, you've been confused. How would Andy fear on the chase? Well, if it was an automotive round, he'd do well.

Yeah. Anything else? Probably not great. What about EDM? Oh, yeah, the what what's. He knows a bit about EDM, the electronic disco music. There's a question about BPMs. He'd be all about it.

He'd be all about it, but otherwise not really. Well, shocking news over the weekend. It might be good news for you, actually. Because the marriage is on the rocks. He married his second cousin, his much younger second cousin, but it's been revealed she's cheated on him. She's had an affair. He doesn't deserve that. I know.

Well, nobody deserves that. Poor dude. But yeah, we cheated on him with a much younger man. Actually, 53 is a little bit old for me, upon close thought. That's quite old. He doesn't look 53, though. Exactly. No, he doesn't. He doesn't have a single

grey hair. I've just googled him and he's got such jet black, like consistent hair colour. I think it's dyed. Do you reckon? Yeah. Bugger. That's the deal breaker.

That's... I'm out. Yeah, sorry, Chasen. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Ba-da-bap! A Melbourne private school has said, sorry, you can't bring your hot drinks onto school property. That's what they've said to parents.

Right. Pick-ups, drop-offs, fuel, stepping through the school gates, bucko. Champ, chief, sweater, darling. Yeah. Boss. I'm out. You can't bring a hot drink And with all the kids

Running around You could drop A long black On someone's head You don't want to drop A long black On a kid's head It wasn't funny

Until it was a specific coffee It was just like a cup But in my mind That wasn't funny Until it was like A specific coffee But then for some reason It was very funny That it could end up my mind that wasn't funny until it's like a specific coffee. Then for some reason it was very funny that it could end up on a

child's head. Has that happened or something? What's happened that this is not? It must have happened, right? Or the threat of it happening and the legal ramifications, like the fact that a school could be sued? Yeah, or an art teacher had a premonition. There's like a staff meeting. Are art

teachers allowed to bring up their premonitions at the morning staff meeting? Well, they're allowed to charge their crystals on the windowsill, so it's highly possible. Maybe they're not charging the school

for that moonlight usage. Anyway. That's a dick. You're so facetious. So the, yeah, the old, yeah, the top six other things parents shouldn't be allowed

to bring onto school grounds if they can't bring on hot coffee. Number six, their adult Heelys. Now, I'm going to say this. Do they exist? I've only seen it once. All right. And this is more from a point of jealousy that I've never seen Heelys in my size.

Okay, yeah. If you don't have enough for everybody, no one should be allowed to wear adult Heelys. Didn't we get sent adult Heelys in the 2000s when they came out initially? We 100% did. I don't remember that. No, it was a long time ago. Oh, you said it. It stirred an ancient memory.

Maybe. Did we? Adult Heelys? Adult Heelys. I feel like I would have had a broken wrist should we have been sent adult Heelys. Oh, no. those are enemies. Oh, mate, don't go. There's lots of stuff that existed in the 2000s that you can't buy anymore.

That's fine. That says Heelys.com slash adults. Oh, yeah, okay. So, yeah, they do exist. Do they have your collab or is there like a decent looking shoe? No, they all look terrible. Oh, wowza. Actually, no,

those ones aren't too bad. Do they make them chic because... There's some high tops there. Yeah, like... Those first two... Oh my God, they actually look like skate shoes.

I could go some of those. Oh God. But only if it's available for everybody. $65. US or New Zealand? So that's about $100 New Zealand.

Those first all black ones are quite cool. They actually look like a lot of the Adidas and Nike styles at the moment. Yeah, but see, I couldn't wear that first one with a pair of jeans. I'd need a set that goes with jeans. I'm not a chin-ass guy. Chin-ass? Roll up your jeans and they'd look all right with those. Maybe not your light blue ones.

I don't really have the ankles to carry a roll-up pants. So lucky you're married. Well, because guys in jeans aren't getting married anymore. Guys in Heelys. Oh, Heelys. Oh, yeah, that makes way more sense. Number five on the list of the top six other things parents shouldn't be allowed to bring onto school grounds

are Bluetooth headsets. Yeah. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. Oh, g'day, mate. I'm like, oh, hey, how are you? Oh, you're not happened to me on more than one occasion. Oh, g'day mate. I'm like, oh, hey, how are you? Oh, you're not talking to me, are you? Which I don't like people talking to me anyway, so it takes a lot for me to, oh, yeah, g'day, how are you?

Who are you talking to? You better be good, because I've made a fool of myself. Everyone's looking. I'm going to continue to talk to you, just so people at a distance think we were engaged in a minute conversation. Hey, you might have made

a fool of yourself but they've got the bloody thing in their head. Yeah, they do, Megan. You're right there. I talked to someone that wasn't talking to me but they look like they think

they're on Star Trek. Number four on the list of the top six other things parents shouldn't be allowed to bring onto school grounds. Clip-clop management shoes. What are clip-clop management shoes what are clip-clops like hard sold watch out watch out i'm here for my children just dress shoes

i'm here for my children i don't know why i always i'm walking yeah up the concrete driveway and behind me I'm just like, Is that a pony or is it Mr Tumnus from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe? No, it's just a woman on a mission. As someone who has literally had someone say clip-clop to me because I was wearing heels, it's very offensive. Don't be jealous because you don't like grinning heels. Clip-clop to me because I was wearing heels. It's very offensive. Don't be jealous because you don't like grinning heels. Clip-clop.

No, it's not only, it's not only, there's been an occasion where I've spun around expecting a woman with a, can I speak to the manager haircut? But it's been a guy. I'm like, that's a hard-sold shoe for a man. The shock hung straight into the ankles. I hope you've that's a hard-sold shoe for a man. The shock going straight into the ankles.

I hope you've got some orthopaedics in, champ. Buddy, chief. Batman. Number three on the list of the top six other things parents shouldn't be allowed to bring onto school grounds if they can't bring on hot coffees. Their little dogs. Because there's a sign at most schools that say, no dogs on school property. But they have a little dog and they're like, he's just a small dog.

He's different. He's just a very small. Proportion wise, that's like taking a doggo Argentino into a rest home. Like the dog might be small, but have you seen children? They're small adults. So your little yappy things, really not that different. Number two on the list of the top six other things parents shouldn't be allowed to bring onto school grounds. There are other kids who need to be talked to loudly.

Stephen, I've asked you not to do that four times now. Stephen. Stephen, are you listening to mummy? Stephen. Every day we have this rigmarole, Stephen. Christ, it drives me up the wall. Take him out. Stop.

The rest of us don't need to hear it. Get in his ear. If you really want to send a message to a kid, get in his ear and be like, Stephen, I brought you into this world. I will goddamn take you out of it. We are on the second story. I will throw you out a window.

Have you seen the Madeline McCann don't you interest me? Watch it. I mean, Stephen will be traumatised for the rest of his life. But he'll be quiet. Poor Stephen. Stephen, Stephen.

Oh, put it down, Stephen. That's a fire extinguisher, Stephen. Wait till I tell you further, Mammy. Just get him out. Oh, my. Poor Stephen. Other parents know what I'm talking about because there's one that does that

and the rest of us stand around looking at each other like, Jesus. Did you change the child's name? Yeah. Okay, good. No one's calling their kid Stephen anymore. No. It's a real 80s and 90s name.

Number one on today's Top 6 other things parents shouldn't be allowed to bring onto school grounds. Snacks for their kids the second the kids come out of class. They'll be right. This kid walks out and the mum's like, I bought you some things here. Quick, quick, eat. You know how you get hungry. It's like, where are you going? Like, are you off on an adventure?

You're so judgmental. Why does he need trail mix? A variety of snacks? Leave it in the car. Are you going to a car now or are you off on a hike? Are you going home? Leave it at home. You're being such a bitch.

Drink your coffee. It's good to be in this stuff. Oh, it's sitting on a floor. Steven! Oh my gosh, are you on the roof again, Steven? Don't jump, Steven. Lock Steven in the car. No one's going to really miss him.

That's today's Sub 6. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. So over the weekend, I spent pretty much the whole weekend putting an electric fence in at our place to keep the goats in. Harold and Helen are my best friends. God, they're cute. They are pretty cute. I didn't know goats could be so like all cuddly and cute.

They're dogs with horns. Right. Goats are great. They're like bounding around, like playing. Yeah, people think goats are basically sheep with horns, but they're not. They're way more like dogs. Right, okay. And I'll go out there and I'll say this, even though it's going to make me sound a little bit crazy.

I've been YouTubing how to teach them to play fetch. So I'm going to try to teach them. God, you have too much time on your hands. And I, by the way, this morning I've had to go for a, for my breakfast, you know how I always do a pre-prepared cold oats. I've had to go in for a sachet because I fed all my oats to the goats. I put them ahead of myself. And I didn't want them to get out.

And I didn't want them to live on a chain. So I put an electric fence around the paddock. Took all weekend, very hard. Hats off to people who do fencing. I mean, you've probably got way better equipment and tools and practice and experience than me. But anyway, I got it done and I got an electric fence unit put in

and I didn't know how to test that it was going the whole way around the paddock. Don't you hear it ticking? You put a bit of grass on it. No. People were like, hey, get a thick blade of grass bit of grass on it. No. People were like, hey, get a thick blade of grass and put it on it.

I remember as a kid, my dad and my granddad making me do that and it still gives you a shock and a shock's horrible. I hate electric shocks. Yeah, me too. Some kind of child abuse,

like getting your kid to test the electric fence. Or my granddad would be like, give us your hand and he'd hold your hand and then he'd grab the electric fence and stand on one foot and it would flow through him.

And because you were more earth, you'd get the doosh. What? Yeah, he was ruthless. He loved that. He loved these games. But so people were like, we're going to bite a grass. I'm like, no, because shocks are horrible, especially if you know you're going to get one.

You're like, ah. And then you get the shock. So I was just kind of, and the goats haven't tried to jump the fence. So I assume one of them must have got a little shock. And they've learned their lesson. To me, while they're not getting out, that's as good as it working without me having to test it. Yeah. Well, I found out it's working last night because it got me.

I was going under, because we've got an electric fence part that goes across the gate. It's a spring gate, so you could open both and use it as a proper functioning gate. But it's at about my chest height, the spring gate is across. So I went under it, and then I went back to shut the gate, and I had to lean over. And then I was talking while I was doing it, and I didn't notice that my shoulder was getting closer and closer to the

electric wire. And as I clicked it, I turned and my neck Oh my god! My neck touched the wire and Sade and the kids were both there and I went, brrrr! And that was apparently the noise I made.

Brrrr! And Sade said it just looked like I'd been sniped because my arm just went straight and I went like this. Holy hell. It's a strong, it's a very strong shock. Does it make a difference where you get shocked? So like if you got shocked on your foot as opposed to your neck? I think so.

It's probably like tattoos. They say they hurt more in different areas. Like right on the, where your neck turns into your shoulder. Like there's not any fat there, there's not any protection. Thank you. If you got on your neck or your thigh or your tum.

We were talking about the jugular. Was that on air or just behind the scenes? We're about seeing the jugular. I got hit by the tree and that's where we were like is it in the jugular? So basically where you got hit by the tree is where I got shocked. Right on that jugular-y, tentative bit by the tree. That's right. And that's where we were like, is it in the jugular? Basically, where you got hit by the tree is where I got shocked. So it's near the jugular. Jugular-y, tender-y, bit of the neck.

Holy, it works. Yeah. And I'm like, brr. But you know who? And were the kids upset? Were they like, ah, you were, ah, Dad's been shocked. The goats were the most compassionate. Yeah.

Right. Harold was the first to nuzzle me. What did Harold say? Sade was laughing when Harold nuzzled him. He didn't say anything, Megan, as a goat. But if he was human, it would have been something like, are you all right, mate? Got any more of those oats?

It was a test to see if we've really lost you a lot. If you've lost me to, yeah, yeah, yeah. When he starts talking to me, permission to institutionalise. Yeah, okay. Yesterday in Parliament, because there's an A in there, so it's worth saying. Parliament, there was

a, what do you call it? A votey McVoterton. It was the first reading of the amendment. To the weapons bill. Yeah. Meaning that semi-automatic military grade weapons will be illegal in New Zealand. Now, the man against that, standing against that,

David Seymour, the lone ACT MP. He did the dancing with the SARS. Well, he tried. He tried. He was going to go in and he was going to put a big halt to it. He says it's all happening too quick. He wanted everyone to take their time. Yep.

It's all happening too quick. You're rushing this through. Now, he's outside Parliament talking to the media, talking to a media scrum. This is where everyone's shoving microphones in their face. And he's kind of, you'd say, a bit of a lone voice in Parliament at the moment. Well, and the only one that really was against this,

like National and Labour, everyone was like... Kind of agreed. Yeah, it's horrible what's happened. We need to rush this through. It's happening quick, but it's happening. Yeah, we'll get it done. This is the first reading and there's time to change it, but this is kind of the idea of it.

And he's like, no, and he's outside and he loves the time in front of him. And this is what MPs love. They love getting their face out there so you might remember them next time you don't vote. So he's loving it. He's talking. He's getting some face time for the first time in a while. Yeah, he's getting on the – he'll be on the news.

Since Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, I can't remember seeing him do something political since – Dancing with the Stars. So he's getting his face out there. He's out there. He's loving it. Getting the camera. Loving the attention.

Showboating. Showboating. Showboating. Showing off. I'm the lone wolf. I'm going to stop it happening. While he's out there, the vote happens. And he misses it because he's out.

He's out telling everyone what a great job he's going to do by stopping it. Yeah. And he's too busy telling everyone how he's going to stop it and he forgets to stop it.

Did he not know what time it was happening? Did they not have to wait for everyone? He might have known. I can kind of relate to him in the moment. He gets caught up in a moment, gets a little bit involved, and then he's like, what's the time? Oh, buff. I've missed the vote.

Damn it. It's brilliant. It's so brilliant. The one voice who vote. Damn it. It's brilliant. It's so brilliant. The one voice who wanted to oppose it. Exactly. It's out of the pages of a political satire. It really is. It's something you'd see on

Vape or Thickening. The TV show. Couldn't write it better could you? No. We wanted to know this morning when showboating or showing off has cost you. Vaughn? All the time. Because he was almost celebrating early, wasn't he?

Getting all excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he was prematurely celebrating that he was the one man that was going to stop this. PC gone mad. Yeah. But he was too celebratory and forgot to do the thing. But he was too celebratory and forgot to do the thing

that he was celebrating that he was doing. So brilliant. Oh dear. So okay, so we want to take your calls this morning.

0800 DALS at him. You can text 9696. When did showing off cost you? Yesterday at Parliament Act MP David Seymour was showing off to the media

that he was the man, the one man who was going to oppose the speed of the new gun laws, which are set to pass, which most people agree we need, and under urgency. That's why it's being rushed through. So he was out talking to the media. Barry Soper was probably there. You know, Barry Soper's always there. Always there.

Brian's got a microphone in his face. He's loving the attention. All the news was probably there. You know Barry Soper's always there. Always there. Brian's got a microphone in his face. He's loving the attention. All the news channels are there. He's saying how he's going to stop it in its tracks. He's out there talking about it. It happens without him. He missed it. He missed it.

Too much talk, not enough action. We want to know when showing off and showboating cost you. Cost you. Some text messages in. Somebody says, I thought I was a sitter for an award at school. Okay. And it was one of those awards where they started describing what the person had done, describing what the person had done throughout the year.

Oh, yep. And I was like, this all fits the bill. This is me. This is me. The line before they said the name, I stood up. Oh. It was not me. Everybody pointed and laughed

For a good few minutes It was Oh no I'm just going to the toilet Destroy it I would have just died David When did you celebrate And show off

Too early I was playing around the park Local park And girls turned up So I thought I'd show off And ran up a slide the wrong way Stuck my little toe in the pipe That ran up the side

And cost me my little toe in the pipe that ran up the side and cost me my little toe. And the girls ran away and, yeah, epic fail. So you've still to this day got no little toe? They don't grow back, Fletch. No, but I think we can put it on. Did you, like, pick it off the slide and take it to the hospital? Yeah, but there's nothing they could do. Did it rip off or cut off?

No, it ripped off. Oh, that's so interesting. Oh, no. Are you sure there's nothing they could do? Because, I mean, was it Friday, late Friday? Because maybe doctors are like us. They're like, ah, CBF. Well, obviously, they didn't put it back on.

They didn't even try. Too hard. I guess a rip's different than a cut though, isn't it? Without going into too much. Yeah, well, obviously, yeah. So was that a good lesson in showing off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, yeah, no girls.

It didn't work. It didn't work. All right, David, Zoe, this is your brother showing off. Yeah, no, we were just watching him play rugby, got this really good intercept and ran, you know, half the length of the field, gets to the try line, does big dives and drops the ball over the try line. Lost forward, lost forward, knocked on.

Yeah, so we were all cheering and then, oh, no, that's not good. Oh, no. Went from awesome to embarrassment real quick. That's the thing, celebrating too early. Yeah, definitely. Zoe thinks you're cool. Some more texts. My boyfriend and I were snowboarding.

He fell over. Yeah. So being the great girlfriend I am, I went and sprayed him with snow. Yeah. But I was thinking, man, that looked so cool. And I turned around and I slammed straight into a sign and then clotheslined myself on a rope. Oh, no.

So he might have fallen over and got a slight sprain, but I got a face full of sign. Yeah. I play golf on a Saturday. I had a new member start as part of the group. And before we teed off, giving all the tips and the keys to a good golf game. I beat him by 36 shots. And at the end, I just said, hey, thanks for all the tips at the start.

He was showing off in a costume. Brilliant. I was younger. I beat the defending champion in tennis. Oh, okay. Who was a bit of a dick. Did a bit of a victory lap and went to jump over the net to shake his hand.

Feet caught on the net. Face planted on the court and it turned out I hadn't won. We were still a game away from the end of the match and I dislocated my shoulder. Oh, wow. Brilliant. Brilliant.

So showing off doesn't pay. Somebody else said I got a new car, took my friend down to collect it, did a little skid as we left, put it sideways

into the curb and wrecked two of the wheels literally right outside. And they came out and they said should have done that. This is why you don't show off too early. No.

Just wait to show off. You get home and then do a skim into the kerb. Sure. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. So yesterday, I've been getting this letter in the mail for, it turns out, probably years. Like an actual letter? Yeah.

An actual letter. And it's been nagging me to do this thing that I've been putting off for quite a while. So it turns out I did this last five years ago, which is a no-no. So every three years, females are supposed to go get a smear test. Right.

Now, for those who don't know, what's the idea of a smear test? I thought you were going to tell everyone. Do you know what's involved? My wife has had multiple and every time tells me about it, I'm like, goodness me. But it's to check for ovarian cancers and abnormalities and it's the early detection as it stands the best way to do it, right? Yeah.

It's very important. But just kind of slip your mind and then you don't really want to. It's not pleasant. Well, yeah, I haven't heard good stories. So I can imagine why you'd put it off. Yeah. Just like you'd put off the dentist because it hurts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I went and did it yesterday. And it was actually, I yeah, yeah. So I went and did it yesterday and it was actually, I mean, it's not painful. So everyone should go and get it done, but it's definitely not pleasant. And I got a little bit dizzy. Got a little bit. What is it?

It's a, would you say invasive procedure? Yeah. That's a bad word, but it sounds really bad. But that's just any way of describing a procedure that involves internal. Yeah. Examination. Access and examination.

But you know, it's always weird because you don't want silence. You don't want, because then it's even more awkward. And like the doctors and nurses don't care. That's what they do every day. Yeah. But yeah, I didn't know whether to have a conversation or not. But then we started talking about jobs. And then what do you do for a job? And then like loves the show.

This is like the time the guy put his finger up the derriere. Loves the show. Which is so great. It's so like honestly cool. But at that time, wasn't a great conversation piece. Because who did that? Was it a nurse or a doctor? It was a nurse. It was a nurse

that did it. I like to imagine she's driving to work right now listening and being like, hey. Are you talking about me? I said before by the way that they check for ovarian, that's not true, it's cervical cancer that smears. Cervical, yeah. Sorry.

Right. Yeah. But very important to get it done. But it turns out that me and Anya both decided to, like, get it done on the same day. It was like, well, not together. Was it a grab one discount? Yes, I was up for mine as well.

And I posed the question to Megan, is it disrespectful to go for a walk before a smear test? Because... Because I had to... I just had to step onto the nurse. Well, I had booked in actually... Well, it was warm yesterday. Yeah, well, I'd booked in on grabone.co.nz for a car service.

So I had to... I was like, might as well get my vaheen serviced at the same time. Get a couple of warrants. Two beds, one stone. Yeah, a couple of warrants and fitnesses. Dropped the car off and then it was probably like a 15 minute walk to the family planning. And it was muggy. It was muggy.

I was wearing active wear and I got there and I was like, oh, mistakes have been made. She didn't say anything. She was really lovely. So professionals, right? Yeah, right, okay. Well, no, I would say despite that they're not the most enjoyable experience, good on both of you for doing it.

Yeah. Because you're – It's like it's not pleasant and, I mean, I wouldn't say it hurts, but it's, yeah, it's the weirdest feeling ever. But we both have gone for our 100 fitness. Yeah. And that's the main thing. Any rust?

Yeah, I was going to say, any rust in the chassis? No rust in mine, Anya. No, none that I'm aware of. Seat belts are in good nick. Yeah, it's all functioning well. Because sometimes the seatbelts or a headlight will trip you up.

By the way, if you're thinking I'm too young to be getting a smear test, it's recommended all women between 20 and 69 who

have been sexually active should have regular smear tests. Yeah, every three years as long as it's clear. And if it's, you know, if you've

had any abnormal ones, you should go more often. They'll let you know that you should go more often and how long you should do it. It's very important.

Lime scooters. Lime scooters. The lime scooter craze. And he was just going too fast, so I jumped out the way. Another day, another lime scooter story. Heck, this one's serious. Okay. A man has suffered an injury after a lime scooter snapped in two.

Goodness me. Sna snapped in two. Goodness me. Snapped in two. There's a picture of an aforementioned lime scooter, and it looks to have come apart at the join, where the front upright with the handlebars on it turns into the flat foot part. Oh, yeah. I've seen one of those. That weld looks to have totally puckerooed.

I've seen one of those on the straight line like that. Oh, really? Yeah, it was just dead. Was he doing some sick jumps or something? Megan, this is the best quote of the whole story. Somebody said, the man was in business attire. He was not some reckless youth. I didn't see the accident, but I'm surmising.

Great use. It snapped in two without him crashing into anything. And there was nothing nearby he could have crashed into nor do I believe he'd be driving recklessly see earlier statement

where they said he's in business attire so it's impossible that he was a reckless youth could possibly be young or reckless yeah I've seen people in business attire

being reckless on a lime scooter so who knows people in business attire also I'm not saying this guy does but people in business attire are reckless on a lime scooter, so who knows? Yeah, people in business attire also, I'm not saying this guy does, but people in business attire are also the only people that can afford Class A drugs. So I'm just saying let's not hold them up as the Simba to our society's Rafiki, you know?

They're just human, they're just dressed differently. That's the only difference there. But it snapped in half. It looks, he was not in a good way. They wouldn't have been expecting that. No, they said they believed he was semi-conscious. There was a woman who was jogging and a second woman were both assisting him and they called the ambulance and apparently he may have donged his head

as he was struggling to open his eyes. Oh, jeez. Okay. What if you're honking along on that thing and it breaks at 20k an hour? Yeah. That would be at 20k an hour. Yeah. That would be a heck of an injury. No reports since they've come back onto the streets of any breaking. Unusual, you know, because, you know, that's how this...

Oh, the locking up of the wheels? Yeah. I haven't heard of any and I'm pretty sure the media are... It would have been... Eagerly awaiting. Yeah. Eagerly awaiting. Yeah. Eagerly awaiting for something to happen. But no, this one's broken.

Now I'm going to do some liming today. Are you? I've got an appointment that I will be liming to, so. What kind of appointment? I'm getting some body hair viciously ripped from my hairy parts. So it's better that you lime than walk there, I think. You don't want to turn up sweaty. Well, no, because you want to arrive.

Here's my thoughts on a body wax. Okay. I'll get my back done. I'm not talking about anything else. But when it's cold and you arrive cold, your skin's like tight, right? Yeah. Because it's cold. And the pores are like shut.

Yeah. And so when they rip the hair out, it hurts a bit more. But if you arrive and it's warm, and maybe not, I'm not talking like professedly sweaty, but maybe just on the north side of clammy. Just on the north side of clammy. Yeah. Like you've got that healthy glow. Right, okay.

Of sweat, but not dripping. Yeah. That would probably be better, right? Your pores are a little bit like... I don't know. They're a little bit like relaxed and so the hair comes out easier. Yeah, okay.

Is that a thing? Well, I mean, it's a good theory. Well, I tell you what worked an absolute... It doesn't hurt. I've been doing it for so many years it doesn't hurt anymore. I always say,

oh, like if I flinch they're like, is that alright? I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, it's fine. And they say some grown men cry. At a back? Yeah. Oh, cry me a river. Get your vahine done and then get back to us.

You're back. Oh, my God. So, but you can imagine. Oh, that hurt my back. You can imagine there'd be some like dudes with back carpets and it would be very thick and that could really hurt. It'd be like waxing your head, Like a lot of all happening at once. But one thing that did work once,

someone said it as a joke, but I did it and I worked a treat, is a panadol and a shot of whiskey. Before your back wax? About half an hour before any sort of waxing. So just get like... The hain, scrotal,

back, ass crack, armpit, upper lip. A padded hole in a whiskey. We're asking chest. Toes. Tummy, toes, knuckles. Anyone waxing their knuckles?

I doubt it. Mine aren't hairy enough to warrant a waxing, but if I was... I shave my toes. You shave your toes? Yeah, I don't like those little tufts of hair.... I shave my toes. You shave your toes? Yeah, I don't like those little tufts of hair. Wait, what? You get hair on your toes? Yeah, everyone gets hairs on their toes. Like little hobbity hairs.

Do you know what? I don't shave them off. No, I've got like a couple. But some people have really hairy hobbit... Yeah, yeah, some people do. Oh no, I've got a few. That's actually pretty cute though. Okay. According to who pretty cute, though. Okay. According to who? You.

Yeah. The top of the foot's got some... This hair's always either me on the top of the foot. Yeah. What's this doing? As long as you think you're cute, that's all that matters, eh? Toe hair at this level, very cute. But I'll be keeping an eye on it now.

Okay, well, good luck today. Thank you. Just make sure your scooter doesn't snap in half. Wow. God, imagine that. Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack.

Now, on with the podcast. So yesterday, August came home from Kindy with a clay face. Now, that's not her face covered in clay. They had made a clay face. Right. Okay. Right. Like a flat plate.

Like a flat bit of clay. And then they had to put the eyes and everything on it. They had to make it a, was it an emotion or a reaction? And she did surprise so her mouth was the mouth was like like a circle two eyes

hair and then what did they rosy cheeks did they paint it or put it in a kiln it wasn't kiln it was just straight up

sun dried entry level clay air dried clay because I said did you bake has this been baked like in an oven because if I went into how a kiln works, I'd be out of my depth,

let alone I don't think she even knows what a kiln is. Yeah. Is it kiln? Kiln. Kiln. Kiln dried. It's got an L in it. Okay.

K-I-L-N. Kiln. L-N. But then I found, oh, it's a thermally insulated chamber, a type of oven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just use an oven. Because I found this other sort of claim online

because I just was interested for my own answers, really. And you can buy it and then you just crank the oven up and put it in the oven. Oh, okay. And it kilns at home. Probably not to the level of an industrial kiln. We're not here to talk about kiln. Although it's a very interesting topic.

So I was like, this is awesome. This is great. It was very cool. I was very impressed. Yeah. So it was on the bench, and we carried everything inside, and Indy had done something. She'd completed the certificate at school,

so she got some loom bands. All the kids are loving these. They're like little rubber bands, and you make long bracelets or super long chains out of them. Right. You know, this is great, rubber bands. And she had the loom bands, everything was on a pile

and on the top was the clay face. And then went to get her loom band box and as she pulled it, the clay face slid off and just landed on the thing. Now, previously mentioned on the show, wasn't kiln dried. It wasn't hardened.

I found out kiln drying would also lead to a harder pottery. So the face cracked all the way through. Can I say, this is on the kindy. For not kiln drying the kids' pottery. You think they should buy a kiln? I think they should. I think they should buy a kiln. You on board for a kiln purchase?

At least a secondhand oven. I'll do a fundraiser. We'll buy a kiln. What could go wrong with preschool children having exposure to extremely hot temperatures? I am just fundraising

for a kiln. Would you like to buy some muffins? I mean I think there's probably higher priorities in the education system than a kiln.

No I love the idea of a kindy having a kiln. A school doesn't even have haters. But some news this week some schools are hated by coal still. Blew my mind. You know what they should be powering?

Kilns. Kilns. I'll be okay if coal was being used to power the kiln. Not too close, kids. It gets up to 500 degrees. It glows. Puts a lovely glaze on pottery if you kiln correctly. So the face cracked and it came apart.

Well, that was... I think because of the praise I'd heaped on the face, she was so proud of it. She was proud of it before that, but she was very proud of it. Cracked, broke. Indy felt terrible. August was in tears, hysterically, like, it's broken and it can't be fixed.

And I said, come on, let's not give up. We can try to fix this. And so I got the hot glue gun out. Right. Doesn't stick to clay. No. Who knew? I thought that stuff stuck to everything.

No. I wouldn't imagine that would work. So I didn't have any of that small tube of super glue that doesn't stick anything together until it gets on your fingers and then your fingers are permanently mouthing together. And you can only use it once because then the lid sticks to it forever. And you pin prick through the little tin foil and you're like, well, I hope you enjoy five minutes of working

because you're about to dry over and just become a tube of very high. So I went out into the garage and I found multiple adhesives that I've collected over the years. There was one called PVC cement and that's on like guttering and stuff. You use it to make a good seal. I was like, this could work. And I looked and it said, yeah, it'll stick to like concrete tiles and stuff. So I was like, I feel like this is going to work. Similar, yeah.

So we sat down. Yeah. And I put it right in front of me. I did that thing dads do where they lean really close to things. Yeah. They lean really close to things unless they're reading their screen on their phone, then they read back because they don't have their glasses on them. Yeah.

And I was like dabbing the PVC cement and August was like, is it going to work, Dad? Is it going to work? I was like, I don't want one. Let's just try our best. And I stuck it all back together PVC cement and August was like, is it going to work, Dad? Is it going to work? I was like, I don't want one. Let's just try our best. And I stuck it all back together and I got the bits all stuck and I pushed it together. And I was like, we're just going to have to give it five minutes to dry, but it's going to have to live on this piece of cardboard now.

Okay. Because it was stuck to the cardboard and then stuck together as well. Yeah. And she's like, okay. And so we left it and we came back and it was all good. Like tiny little line cracks in it. Yeah. And she looked at me and she said

you're the best dad in the universe. And I was like, I'm going to need to take the adhesive back to the shed. Dad's going to just have a bit of a tidy in the garage. But I want, when I come back

I need you to say that to me again. Dad's going to have a cry, isn't he? I went to the garage and I was like, gosh, that to me again. Dad's going to have a cry, isn't he? I went to the garage and I was like, gosh, that was a bit much. The universe. This is just the earth. That's the largest scale thing that she could muster. Yeah. Like aliens have nothing on me.

I don't even need to do a fundraiser to buy a cone. I'm the best dad in the universe. But has she sampled other dads? I mean, she's only ever had one. She doesn't need to, Megan. She was gifted with the best

in the universe. Yeah, okay. I mean, you're the best dad in the universe until you won't let her go to a party when she's 15.

Yeah, at the moment. At the moment. So you revel in that. That's good. That's good stuff. I'm gonna... Give it a few years. Yeah. But then I was like, what else can I break? What? Just good. It's good stuff. Give it a few years.

But then I was like, what else can I break? What just him? So I can fix and continue to be the best ad in the universe. She might call it on if you start breaking everything she owns. She's like, this is broken. I'll be like, I know just the thing. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. We're joined in studio

by Al. Al makes all the... There's a lot to Al's job. Did he do a demo? ZM. Al does that, yeah. With my mouth. There's a lot more to Al's job than that. He just sits in a dark room all day making those noises.

He's like the guy off Police Academy. He just makes noises all day and everyone loves it and they clap. And yesterday in our staff meeting, Al introduced us to something he has at his house that now I want. I know I want it as well at my house. What did you do? Over Christmas, I was really keen on buying a robotic vacuum cleaner.

So these are the ones you see, because I always wanted one of these when I had my cat so that I could put him on it and he'd ride around on it. He's had it on a Roomba. Famous one of the shark cat riding the Roomba? Yes. But they were like $1,000. So I was like, no, not happening.

My main issue was somebody said they had one and it ran through animal excrement and just dragged it through the entire house. I don't have a pet, so I can't testify to that. But I do have a daughter. My animals... I haven't had an issue there yet. She hasn't done a turd on the floor.

Well, she has done a turd on the floor, but I cleaned it up. Right, you got to it before the robotic vacuum cleaner. But they've also upped it since I was vaguely interested in robotic vacuum cleaners because Al has an app on his phone and it sends him updates of what it's doing and where in the house it is and what parts of the house it's vacuumed. He's got a map of his house and it looks like the Marauders map of Harry Potter

and the vacuum cleaner is Dumbledore. It's awesome. I'll show it to you now, Megan. That's the map that it draws of my house. You know when you go for a GPS run, like map my run, or you see where a plane's flowing, it's like that, but it shows you where in the house. You can see the couch and the beds.

It's incredible. It's amazing. Now, then I was like, I'm on board, and I had some few follow-up questions, and Ella answered them all. I said, how do you know when it's full of dust? It sends me notification. Empty, mate.

Oh my God. We're living in the future and you know what? Thank God for China. For Jaina. Absolutely. Because this is what, this isn't a Roomba,

this is an off-brand. This is a Xiaomi. Xiaomi. Yeah. So it's mapping your house and then sending that to the Chinese government. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The whole Huawei thing. Fear the Huawei network. Right. And it charges itself, so it returns the call for a charge. Yeah, it just goes back to its start. Yeah, my wife puts it on when she goes to work in the morning, pushes the on button, it goes out, does its thing. I'm at work by that stage and it sends me a notification,

says I've gone home, and I say, thank you. It's like having a pet. Could you set it off from your phone? Yeah, I could. You could be like, begin cleaning. Yeah. Oh, that's good stuff. It's honestly the greatest purchase I've ever made.

So immediately, why don't I go on? Yeah, how much is this? Because, you know. How much would you pay for it? What would you? Because aren't they like hundreds of dollars, like $1,000? But then you've got the China one, don't you? $380.

From AliExpress. Yeah, Dick Smith. Dick Smith? Dick Smith, I know, they still exist. Okay. So $380 and it tells you all the history of it. It's been cleaning our house for 1,830 minutes. I figured it out, that's only $13 an hour.

So that's pretty good. That is pretty good. That cleaner would cost more, wouldn't it? And you could spend way more than that on a vacuum cleaner. Like those Dysons that everyone was losing their mind over last year that you did an influencer post for. Or 12 Fletch.

It was very vacuum heavy content for a while. They're great vacuum cleaners though. I know, but you have to drive it. I have to walk around with the stick. So this was me immediately when I left staff meeting. When I left, I literally plugged my phone into the car and I started driving and I dialed Sade and I was like, look what I've discovered. Al's got a robot vacuum cleaner.

There's an app. You're not going to need to do it. It's just going to scoot around the house. Sorry, what? Huh? You're not going to need to do it? To do the vacuuming. Did you say that to your wife? She does the vacuuming need to do it. To do the vacuuming. Did you say that to your wife?

She does the vacuuming. I don't make her do the vacuuming, Megan. I don't have her chained up at home. She does it like, oh. You're not going to need to do it. You're not going to need to do it. She'll be like, no, you're going to do it. No, no one's going to do it.

The robot's going to do it, baby. You're going to want to push a button. It's gender equality at the best. The bar vacuum cleaner was $50 from the warehouse like six years ago and it is awesome. But time is money. Yeah. Like you don't want to be or Andrew. Neither of you want to be pushing it around the house.

That's so good. That's so ridiculous. It's $380. It's not like it's mowing the lawns which is sort of a therapeutic thing. No one likes vacuuming. Here's the other thing though Vaughan. Don't put blades on it. I know. When I was looking someone was like, just buy the robotic lawnmower

and I was like, there's something therapeutic about mowing the lawns but I can totally see it happening. You guys are ridiculous. There's an app! So what did Sade say? She's like, I don't want it. She's like, no, I want that V10, what is it? The V10. Yeah, the side climb. Guys, I bet you've got to drive that.

This thing's doing it all for it. I don't fruit the dogs. And I'm like, they're not vacuuming. Bugger them. I have a question. What about stairs? Because I've got to step up in my apartment. Yep.

So it goes around its house. Yep. Around your house. When it gets to stairs, it has cliff sensors. Oh, my God. Cliff sensors. It's not true. It's not a lemming.

It's not just going to walk mindlessly off a cliff. Is this just a guy thing? Like producers, intern Anya and Caitlin, how are you feeling about this robotic vacuum cleaner? It's pretty great, but I don't know if I'd drop $380 on a vacuum cleaner, to be honest. How much have you spent on ASOS?

One set? You can wear that. Yeah. I don't know. I think I'd just stick with year old, like, Kmart vacuum. You live at your mum's house. She vacuums. I'm actually mum and dad of a cleaner, but... We're all busy full-time vacuums.

I don't like the assumption that it's her mum that vacuums, Vaughn. It could be her dad that vacuums. Her dad skirts off to Waiheke because he prefers the ferry transit. It's Gigi. She's the vacuumer. Caitlin? Gigi. Yeah, my friend's got one.

I totally would. I actually just use my boyfriend's vacuum cleaner at the moment. It's mine, bro. Stop crowbarring on your boyfriend. Sorry. We know you've got a boyfriend. I know, but there's new listeners this morning maybe. I need everyone to know.

Does your boyfriend have a spare vacuum cleaner? He does. He loves to go to Briscoe's and just drop money and doesn't use it. Oh, my God. He needs to know about the robot, the Chinese robot vacuum cleaner. I'm going to go see him after this and tell him about the robot vacuum cleaner. Producer James? Oh, James will be into it.

I'm very intrigued by this. Yeah. Okay. I've seen one at JB Hi-Fi going around a little pen in the middle of JB Hi-Fi. It was very awesome. What, like you go into a pet store and they have the rabbits? Yeah, they put them in cages and they're all like three or four of them going around

and you're like, ah. Someone from JB Hi-Fi walk up and chuck some sand and they're like, there you go, eat up. It was like me and four other dudes and we're just like, wow, this is amazing. Dirt pen. Okay, so I think this is something we need to investigate further but we thought, because Shade has

given Vaughan a definitive no to a Chinese robot vacuum cleaner, is there something that your partner won't let you buy? Is there something that you are currently at loggerheads over? You're petitioning to. Exactly. Give us a call. 0800 DALSATM 9696.

Hold on. Al, do you have a shaggy rug uh there's a little bit of a shaggy sort of thing at the front door how does it handle the shit no problem just mounts it what about i've got a spongy carpet it's quite a soft i think spongy carpet will be fine i have got home once and found my phone charger in the bathroom and i did stand there chinese government i did stand there for quite a while going what's going going on here? Why is it here? And then I eventually put one of them under here. So it sucked the cord and dragged it and then just deposited it there and then went home.

It's messing with me. It's appliance jealousy. It's like a cat bringing home a rat. It's like, look what I got for you. I got you this. I got you this. All right, 0800-DARZATM9696, what won't your partner let you buy? We want to know what your partner

won't let you buy. Vaughan, your partner, your wife, will not let you buy a Chinese robot vacuum cleaner. Unbelievable. Now, Al,

who has the Chinese robot vacuum cleaner with the app, he's bringing it in tomorrow. So I think maybe we need an actual, you should take it home

and show her how it works. Oh, can you do that? Can you take another man's robot vacuum cleaner home? Because it's probably working on the map. Will it map my house out? Yeah, it'll probably map your... Yeah.

Oh. Okay. I like that. So we want to know what you're not allowed to buy, what your partner is saying no to. Sarah. Hey, guys. How are you going?

Good. Now, this is something your partner wants to buy, and you're saying no. Yeah, you guys are so lucky that he's asleep right now. He'll be calling you with his sob story. So you're getting in first. All right, so what, is it something electronics? No, so we own four acres of land and I've got three horses

and he's decided that he owns half of that land, so he wants a donkey. If you've got three horses, the man should be allowed three quadrupedic animals as well. Donkey, alpaca and goat. Those would be my three. Very away in the manger. We came into some money for an arena or a pool and guess what we got? We got an arena.

So that's our story still going around. We don't have a pool, we don't have a donkey. You've got an arena. So that's our story still going around. We don't have a pool. We don't have a donkey. But what does he want to do with it? You've got an arena and three horses. What does this man have? God, if I got an inheritance or lotto, I wouldn't buy either of those. But if you have a row of horses, what can you do with a donkey?

You know, that's... Thank you, Megan. Thank you. What does he want to take to school galas and get photos next to a donkey or something? Oh, probably. You could have a cart. It could pull around a cart. That could be real cute. Kind of black and white. It could be a Mexican zebra.

I don't know. Hey, thanks for your call, Sarah. Charlie, you're currently in an argument with your partner? Yeah, I wouldn't say it's an argument, but I love basketball and I just want to, you know, support teams that I like, but you won't let me buy any singlets.

Oh, no. How many, do you have any singlets? Yeah, I've got about six at the moment. That's it, that's it. Yeah, so you made it sound like you didn't have any singlets, Charlie. Well, no. I just thought, you know, there's good teams out there. I just want to support the boys.

How many teams do you want to support? Well, they're all pretty cool, so. Hey, Charlie, I don't, so... Hey, Charlie, I don't know if you're too picky about getting authentic ones, but on a recent trip to Thailand, I found a Milwaukee Bucks singlet for like $12 New Zealand dollars and it looks a fish. Yeah, there's

a good site online that I get cheap ones off, but I'm not allowed them because otherwise I can't resell them, apparently. Oh, right. I don't know if NBA singlets have ever been a great investment portfolio i'm buying it for the rest of our value love for these things skyrocket hey thanks charlie uh kate what won't you let your partner buy uh he wants to buy quail okay now this is something i'm kind of on board with yeah the little like little birds. Like a little chickeny pigeon. Yeah, the little birds. What does he want the quails for?

Quail eggs? He just thinks they're cute. Okay. Right. Yeah, because if you were going to sell the eggs at like a market or something, they're quite spitting stuff. Very bougie.

Yeah, right. What is that, bougie? He keeps pulling them up on Trade Me and being like, see, look how cute they are. What does a quail go for on Trade Me? Oh, I don't actually look. I don't pay much. Are you more worried it's not the cost,

you're just worried about the fact that then you're going to have quails? Yeah, and the cat will probably eat them. Oh, yeah. Would you let him buy a Chinese robot vacuum cleaner? Probably. I'd be interested in seeing how it works. So am I. So am I.

Speaking of Chinese vacuum cleaners, I found some Chinese quails. Right. Oh, no. That's $7 each. That's not bad. I don't know. It's not bad. See, but wouldn't you rather have chickens?

At least then you can make omelettes. Yeah, but, yeah. You can make omelettes out of quail eggs. They're quite, like, flesh. No, you'd need more eggs, though, wouldn't you? Because they'd be tiny. They like those little... Yeah, they're little.

I'll have a 13-egg omelette, thanks. Exactly. Thanks for your call, Kate. Ask some texts in. I tell you what, apparently everybody listening either wants a motorbike or doesn't want their partner to have a motorbike. That's the big one. That's the big one. That's the big one

that's coming through. Somebody said, my husband has a poker night once a month and wants to buy new poker chips, but the ones he wants are $700. For poker chips?

How are poker chips $700? Has he not ever bought like five packs of Woodstock bourbon and cola when they're doing that thing and got the Woodstock bourbon and cola ones? Then you get some bourbon

and cola at least. $700. And then his husband got chips in them or something. You win the money first from playing poker, and then you can use your poker money to buy the chips. He said, poker chips feel better between my fingers. I said, put $700 between your fingers. It'll feel better than poker chips.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I have to ban my partner from buying chairs. Every time she goes to an op show, she buys old rough-looking chairs. She's like, I'm going to do this one up. My garage is just full of chairs. I'm guessing she's never got around to doing up. No, no. She's got all the plans.

Somebody said a dishwasher. Their partner won't let them buy a dishwasher. It's fine now. It's just the two of us. He wants kids relatively soon, and he said when we have kids, they can be the dishwasher. But they won't be ready to do heavy dishes till four year old and a seven year old. Neither of them can even reach the sink yet.

So there's a lot. Just do it. Long wait. They say they want to do it now when they can afford it. Sounds like a great plan. Get a dishwasher. It'll change your life. Then you can argue not about who's going to do the dishwashers but who's stacking it, who's unstacking it and who's the worst at stacking it. The kids. Fact of the day!

Day, day, day, day! Today's fact of the day is about world famous sriracha hot sauce. Okay. Hufongs. Hufongs is the brand with the rooster on the front.

And it's got the green top, doesn't it? Is that the one we have? Yep. Is that the one that we've got from down there? I don't know if down, because that's the one I get in a big bottle. Yeah, and it's got a rooster on it. Is it Hufongs? It's just a bigger bottle than the standard American-looking bottle.

So you might be thinking, oh, heck, what's today's fact of the day about this spicy little situation? Well, I've got multiple facts, but the main fact for today's fact of the day is that Sriracha hot sauce gets spicier and spicier every year by small increments. Okay. So they get all of their peppers from one farm and one farm only. Okay. It's three hours commute from the farm to the processing plant of Heu Fong. And the chilies are getting spicier every year. Why?

No one's sure. Oh, global warming? They did tests of the, so it started in 1980. Yeah. A guy, David Tran, he named it after the boat, by the way, that carried him from Vietnam to Hong Kong. Right. When he was leaving Vietnam.

Hufong was the boat he went on, so that's why it's named after that. And also, you said the green top? Yeah. The green top was specifically chosen so it looks like the top of a, so it's red in the body and a little green top like a chilli. Like the pepper

that it uses. Okay. And Sriracha is actually a Thai seaside town in Thailand called Sriracha. Yeah,

because I'm a fan of it. And the pepper's named after that. Is it a Sriracha mayo or a Sriracha? It's really good. Aioli is delicious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great mix. Oh my God, named after that. Is it a sriracha mayo or a sriracha? It's really good stuff. Aioli is delicious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great mix. Oh my God, you simply must. Yeah. So they started making it in 1980. He said made it in very small quantities. Yeah. But they started going crazy for it. And now, I mean, it's gone even more nuts in the last 10 years.

Worldwide dominance, you'd say. Yeah, absolute dominance of the hot sauce market. Hot sauce market. And he said he doesn't know why, but every year it's getting spicier and spicier because they do the quality control test. Yeah, right. And he's like, we're buying it in the same place, doing it exactly the same way, growing it the same way, but these chillies are getting spicier and spicier.

So are they new plants every year? They have to replace the plants. Yeah, because they grow. I guess they keep the – they maybe plant from their own seeds. So the ones that are the spicier are the more dominant ones that they're keeping. So they're planting them out. Or is it affecting the soil or something? If it's only growing that, maybe.

But it's getting, if you took a bottle from 1980 and a bottle from now, 2019. Oh, markedly different. And they do all of it in one, they do a year's worth of hot sauce in one go. They don't make it throughout the year. They harvest once a year and do a massive batch and that's the entire year's worth of stock. So if there was like a shortage or if there was some sort of seasonal change

that meant the growth didn't happen, they could literally have a shortage for the sauce for a year. He will not buy peppers from other places. Goodness me. One place and one place only. So today's fact of the day is sriracha sauce is slowly getting spicier and spicier. And the guy that makes it isn't sure why.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Top speed cameras, top earning speed cameras in 2018 in New Zealand has been released. Now, the top 20 alone, as I mentioned before, raked in $44 million in fines. Good Lord. So all we need is a speed camera to make some money. Have your own speed camera. And a government. And a billing system that people will actually pay and not be like, this is a handwritten receipt.

Saying, you're in trouble. You owe me $100. You're a well-to-do trouble. So am I, Megan, the police officer. All fixed, dominated by fixed cameras, and especially those around Auckland. I guess New Zealand's most populated region. Top ten.

Redvale, East Coast Road, Waitemata region. So that'll be out west. The only thing I know, I haven't been pinged by it. The Waterview Tunnel. That is in at number nine, and you remember when that first came out. Caitlin contributed to that. Caitlin, yeah,

you had a couple on that one, didn't you? Check it out. Did you get one the other day? No, I didn't. That was amazing because I was going 105. Because they've taken...

In the tunnel? No, on the way in. One of the ones, because you know sometimes they have the cameras but they're not in there. That wasn't in one of those. In my defence, Your Honour,

somebody was coming into the lane and I was like, you're close, so I floored it to get in front of those. In my defence, Your Honour, somebody was coming into the lane and I was like, you're close, so I floored it to get in front of them. 25Ks. And then, huh? You could have just like... Yeah.

Well, the speed limit was 80. So down so they could get in front of you. No, because it was like neck and neck. I'm not losing. I'm not losing. I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Yeah. Well, that Waterview Tunnel

has, I think, slipped down the list. It's number nine on the top speed cameras. Awamaru. a quarter mile at a time. Well, that Waterview Tunnel has, I think, slipped down the list. It's number nine on the top speed cameras. Oamaru. That's always a big one. On Wansbeg Street. Am I saying that right? Wangsbeg. No, W-A-N-S Beck. Wansbeg. Wansbeg. There's no G in it.

It's just Wansbeg. That's the eighth most popular camera. That's at $2.2 million. That's a lot when you think it's Omaru. Going down the Ngauranga Gorge, that camera there, that's always been a well-known pinger, that one. Seven. Is it downhill?

Yeah, it's gone when you go downhill. I know, it's not fair. Very well-known pinger. Number six on the list, State Highway 2 in the Waikato, Waikino. That's south of Waikino? Is that on the way to Taranaki? I don't know. It just says in the Waikato.

Parnell, Tarmaki Drive. Now, this is right by the helicopter pad. This is in Niue. I remember because I'll bike quite often out that way, and that only went in a year or so ago. You're not going fast enough. Oh, no, not to ping a camera. Shit, no.

But that kind of, it's new, so people don't know that it's gone in there. Oh, yeah, I didn't know that was there. That's already pinged $3.2 million last year, but that's mostly rich people in European cars going to their mansions. So, whatever. Yeah, ha-ha.

Yeah, ha-ha. Dome Forest on State Highway 1 in the Waitemata region. That's number four on the list. Hillsborough Road, Auckland City. That's third on the list. 3.6 million in fines just last year. Hillsborough Road. That one's always on there.

Whereabouts is that? New Lynn. Rider Street is number two on the list with 4.3. And the highest ranking speed camera last year, now this detected 47,000 drivers with $4.8 million in fines. And it is in Carmo in Northland. Wow. Is that a new one?

It is. It went in January last year, so late Jan, and was the number one Speed camera In the country With 4.8 million dollars In fines I think I've heard The Carmo situation It's a sneaky one

Isn't it People always say Oh it's on a hill And it's when you're Coming out of a hundred And yeah People You're gonna pass people

And yeah I didn't want that fine I don't want it please Yeah Well I don't think This should be on downhill But they've pipped, a lot of those cameras

have pipped the Wellington camera, the Naurunga Gorge camera. Yeah. It's been number one for several years, but it's slipping. So Wellington, if you could just

do your bit to get it back up there. You know, because you're always proud when your region gets in it, number one on the list, aren't you? You're always a bit upset

when it slips. But it's Auckland, Northland's the, region-wise, Northland absolutely creaming it. Yeah. Then the Waitemata. Then Auckland City.

Auckland City. Then Waitemata again. Then Auckland City. Then Waikato. So it's a while down the list until you get out of sort of Auckland North. And no Canterbury, well, apart from that Timaru, which you could call south of Canterbury. See, I want to check those because of Canterbury does anyone check those

because those Canterbury planes they're usually on there for a good earner someone put a bit of cellophane over them or something covered them put a masking tape

so they can't see well no they just didn't get as many as yeah the other top ten oh so yeah the Waikano one

that's in just out of Pairoa on the way to Waihi oh yeah you come out of Pairoa Pyro and it'll get you. And you're all excited because you've seen the big L&P bottle. Yeah. It's understandable.

It's not really. Woo-hoo! I mean, you know, we do joke around, but seriously, it's been a horror week on our roads. Oh, 100%. So do, yeah, take it easy. Those are revenue gathering are also the people who speed, so yeah. I Have Never, our segment, we give people their very first.

And Rochelle joins us. Good morning, Rochelle. Good morning. Now, yesterday when we spoke to you, you had never what? I had never been on a plane before. A plane of any size? Any, yeah. Any.

And you went in, was it a four-seater Cessna? Yeah, I did. That's right. And all thanks to the Tauranga Aero Club. I've seen the photos. Wow, what a beauty. Like, I mean, it's just,

just being at the mountain in Tauranga, it's beautiful as it is, but that view from above, how did you find it? Your very first flight ever oh it was so breathtaking it was so amazing it was like being on another planet it was just so cool it looks different from up there doesn't it it is i was like i can't see anyone and the cows look so little oh my god that's pure joy. And so were you nervous at all?

Because I know, I mean, I love flying and I've been in really small planes and I've been in giant ones and I just love it. But I know some people get a bit nervous. You weren't nervous? I was extremely nervous, especially for takeoff. And you got to fly it, presumably when you were already airborne. That didn't make you do a takeoff on your first time out? Oh, no, no, no.

We were up there and he's like, so do you want to drive the plane? And I was like, no, I'm okay. And he's pretty much like, well, I'm going to let go, so you need to. That's the sort of cavalier attitude I love. And how was that? It was so scary, but so cool. Brilliant. Oh, that's so cool.

Well, I'm glad that we got you up. And thank you again to the Tauranga Aeroclub as well for helping your dream come true there. It was amazing. And your first ever flight, that's definitely one you'll remember. Yeah, definitely. Do you think you might travel somewhere in a plane now that you've broken the ice? Oh, yeah. Okay, good.

The world is your oyster. The world is. All right. I have never. We are giving people their firsts. We've taken somebody to see their very first whale. We gave someone their first fried chicken. I mean, there's big ones and small ones.

Oh, yeah, their first concert. Their first car wash. Their first flight. Oh, the car wash one. That was cute. That was great. Because, you know, you see them. You always see the car wash, but you're like, who goes in there?

Yeah. Yeah, some people have never done it. Well, joining us on the phone this morning, Alex, good morning. Oh, g'day, mate. G'day, mate. G'day, mate. I have never what? I've never been on a roller coaster.

Oh, you're missing out. How old are you, Alex? I'm 22 turning 23 at the end of the week. Oh, that's not too bad, though. Okay, and you get a bit older in the neck and the head and the headache and the upside downies. Yeah. So obviously you've never had the chance to go to Rainbow's End? I've been to Rainbow's End but

I don't know what happened. I never went on the roller coasters. Were you scared? Probably. I was quite young. There's a high chance it could have been down for maintenance because they like to keep it safe. That's exactly right. That's for safety. Well, Alex, you've probably guessed what's going to happen next.

I might be going on a roller coaster. You are going on a roller coaster. You've really put two and two together there. But we need to suss something out first. Not this weekend, but next weekend. Are you free to go on the roller coaster uh yep completely free okay do you have a passport oh yes I do this is great news because and I've pulled the short store here I'm gonna have to do a work trip and we are going to the Goldie

to go to one to go to one of the theme parks, we're literally flying in, we're going on a roller coaster, and we're flying home. Oh, that's awesome. So, I mean, so we'll get Saturday night on the Goldie. You get to bring a friend as well, and all thanks to Air New Zealand's Gravy Seat, they're hooking us up with the flights

and making this happen. Because we thought we could just take you to Rainbow's Inn, but then we could be that little bit extra. Yeah, I mean, I haven't been to the Gold Coast since I was like one and a half, so. So that doesn't really count. I thought I was going to say it's changed like you don't shit your pants anymore.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's free and clean to listen to? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Head music lives here. ZM.