ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 05 2019

Episode Date: April 4, 2019

It is Fletch and Vaughan's 15-year anniversary today, we have a special guest in studio this morning - a robot vacuum cleaner and what were you really scared of as a kid?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Thank you, Arnie. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. Happy Gumboot Day. Gumboot Friday, it's happening. Got mine on. Megan, you got yours on? Got my... Megan? My ribbons are here. I'm putting them on. Megan came in her Adidas. Yeah, carrying boots. She's not the only one.

I've seen some other broadcasters arriving at our work today carrying their boots. I took this very seriously. I limed Scoot to work in my gummies today. I also got them out of the garage and I haven't done a spider check yet. Do you want me to spider check them now? Yeah, because I don't want to put my foot in there. Please let me be a spider checker because Fletch is trying to come across quite masculine right now. You've got to get your hand in right now. But he'll squirt.

You've got to get your hand in there. Put your hand in the toes. You've got to do this. You get your hand in and you like rummage around for a bit. And then you whack it on your knee like that to get any. Clear. Floaties out. I was more scared of cockroaches actually.

This is a sign of a boot not being worn. It gets crinkled at the top. Excuse me. It's got grass on the bottom. Look. See? This is from the Cretaceous period. This is the second time I've worn mine.

They look so new. I was going to say, this is a lot of grip on your boot too. Do you use these to mow the lawn? Yeah. Righto. Righto. So it's all for a good cause today. We spoke to Mike King yesterday on the show. It was an incredible chat.

He's doing some amazing work. And this is all to raise money. Yeah, for counselling for school-aged children. To get counselling at the moment if you're school-aged, you've got to have the stigma attached. A doctor has got to say that you have a mental illness. And then the stigma becomes attached to it. And he doesn't want that to have to happen.

So all money donated, popped in little gumboots on coffee shop checkouts or retail stores that you go into today. If there's a gumboot collecting money, all that money goes straight into a Kiwi Bank account, and that money is not touched. And you can do your bit as well. Pass the gumboot around at work, just take it into any Kiwi Bank. And say, yep, gumboot Friday.

I want to put this money into the account. And the Kiwi bank employers will know exactly what you're talking about. And wear your gummies to work if you can. Yeah. I've got my Matara Nikes on. This is what somebody told me they were called yesterday. What? Why are they?

Because Matara's got a huge meatworks plant. Because you're wearing meatworkers gumboots. Yeah, I'm wearing my meatworkers boots. I did an Instagram poll and then completely ignored the results. Because that's what you do. Hey, you copied Mike and you rolled down the tops. He told me to. And then somebody else said if you're going to wear them to work,

you've got to roll down the tops because that means you're cash. Right, okay. If you're wearing them up, it's slaughtering time. And they call them Matara Nikes, which is... That's so good. I must admit, I got some cracker messages of people giving gumboots nicknames yesterday, but I think Matara Nikes really stuck out.

Right, you could actually draw a Nike symbol on those. I'd bugger it right out there. Maybe I'll print one off and glue stick it on. Or trace around it. Yeah, that's a good idea. Get creative with your boots today. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

All right, three news headlines for story time. And as usual, Vaughan and Megan decide, deliberate, and pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, eight-year-old sets off on world adventure. Headline two, Australian man goes to extremes after drive-through altercation. And headline three, mango tree home birth. Mango tree home birth? Yeah.

In a mango tree? Yes. What does a mango tree even look like? Great question. Needed O. Why was it in a mango tree. Yes. What does a mango tree even look like? Great question. Neither do I. Why was it in the mango tree? It's like a fruity situation. So, but I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory.

I don't think there's too much more to a mango tree. Yes. You'd say. Oh, mango tree for sale in New Zealand. It kind of just looks like a plum tree. I just Googled mango tree to see what it looked like. Not to ruin the story, but a Mozambique woman gave birth in a mango tree during a flood. She was stuck up the tree.

And the birth started happening. Mangoes grow in New Zealand? That would be a good fruit tree to have. Have you ever cut them open? They're a bit stringy. No, there's a trick to it. I don't know. There's a trick to it.

It's stringy and they're getting your teeth. Oh, but what about sticky mango rice? Yum. That is Thailand's... What about just Thailand's mangoes in general? Yeah, they're great mangoes. They're a juicy, juicy mango. Yeah.

Cool, so not that story. No, they're not that story. So do you want eight-year-old sets off on world adventure or Australian goes to extremes after drive-through altercation? Eight-year-old sets off on world adventure or Australian goes to extremes after drive-through altercation? Eight-year-old sets off on adventure, I reckon. Megan? Australians are always doing dumb shit and getting aggressive. Okay, yeah.

You'd like that one. All right. An eight-year-old boy from southern Russia has won social media fame after setting off on a round-the-world trip. The boy's mother contacted police after finding a note from her son saying he had left to travel around the world. He's eight, obviously, if you missed that bit at the start. Yeah. A few hours later, a search team managed to locate the eight-year-old boy.

They found him walking down a street equipped with an encyclopedia, a toy, money from his piggyback, and a banana. Does he need sustenance? Well, yeah, bananas are great too. On his travels? Energy. The young boy, the young explorer told his rescuers he was already quite tired from his adventure and he wanted to rest. By that point, he had already travelled on three different buses.

Wow. And on foot. Oh. Wow. Yeah. So he wasn already travelled on three different buses. Wow. And on foot. Oh. Wow. Yeah. So he wasn't like running away from home. He just wanted to go on an OE. He just wanted to go on an OE just a little bit early, just 10 years early.

It's weird. I just thought Russians never did a lot of exploring, did they? Like you never heard about the famous Russian explorer. Like maybe they went Arctic, but like the Spanish explored. Yeah, right. Colonised. The British colonised. The Dutch, big explorers. But Russians have been around for ages, but couldn't be bothered.

So what? Or Russia's already so massive, they're like, it seems greedy if we want more. Yeah, true. It just seems like we've got a lot. Yeah. We're very, very big. We literally go from that side of the map over to that side. But if I lived somewhere that cold, I'd be wanting to explore a place away out of there.

You'd want to be going down a bit for some warmer territory. Yeah, just good on him. Brunching out there and exploring the world until he got tired and needed a little nap. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. What is the end of phase three for the Marvel Cinematic Universe that started in 2008 with Iron Man is Avengers Endgame, and it comes out this month. You...

I know. There have been cinemas in America screening all of them. I would be so down for that. But I've got life, work, fatherhood. Yeah. Oh, God. It would be good just to just, oh, it's good stuff. It would be good stuff to watch all of the movies that fall into the cinematic universe

before the final one for this phase anyway, because they are going on. Black Widow solo movie has been announced with Scarlett Johansson. And they've started adding people to that universe. And David Harbour that was in Stranger Things. He's the sheriff. He's announced he's going to be in it. He's in Hellboy. That comes out next week.

There's lots of great comic book-based movies coming out because, hey, they make money. They do. A lot of money, and Avengers Endgame will be no different. The pre-sale for Avengers Endgame has set records on Fandango. Not Clem Fandango, just Fandango. A one-day record. It blew The Force Awakens away.

That's a Star Wars movie, the first in the recent trilogy that kind of restarted it. So in 24 hours of sales, they were the record holder of Force Awakens. It took Avengers Endgame six hours to beat the 24-hour record. People are scalping those tickets too. So people are just buying opening night tickets in America and scalping them. Aren't they up to like $10,000, those tickets?

Some of them, yeah. Yeah. That's madness. And that's what somebody said, well, I had a fair amount of money saved for college, but it looks like I won't be educated because I must see this on the opening night. Yeah, and it's not just Fandango that are experiencing. Around the world, people doing pre-sale tickets are reporting

that they've just never seen anything like it. It's crashed multiple websites. It's beating records that are like 19 years old. Wow. For pre-sales. And it is, man, my maths is failing me now. 19 days? 19 days if it's to the 24th? Until it comes out? Well, yeah, because today's the 5th.

So good maths, Vaughan. Not bad. Go Vaughan. Until it comes out. And yeah, fair to say. It's going to be huge. Oh, okay. So here I am. I'm on a New Zealand one. This yeah, fair to say. It's going to be huge. Oh, okay. So here I am,

I'm on a New Zealand one. This is for events. Yeah. The 10 a.m. on the day after the midnight screening. Yeah. Sold out.

1.45, few seats left. 8.45 p.m. that night, sold out. 5 p.m., sold out. Sold out 9.30, sold out one. And that's just one event cinema. Onepm. Sold out. Sold out 9.30. Sold out 1.

And that's just one event cinema. One event cinema. Wow. In New Zealand. That's just the one that I've bought tickets from before, so it's saved it as the one closest to me. Isn't it, is it true that they were releasing trailers to kind of throw people off the set?

So some of the trailers like... The Russo Brothers famously do. They, like the Infinity War trailer, had Hulk in it running through the Wakandan battlefield. But of course, the Incredible Hulk never appeared in the last Avengers because there's something going on there. So don't trust what you see. I love me some Incredible Hulk.

Well, if you're wanting tickets, if you're wanting tickets, you need to get those ASAP. Otherwise, it sounds like you're going to have to wait a few days. Oh, if you want to choose what session you want to go to, yeah, I'd do that today probably. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Portugal the man on ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, 6.27. So there is a...

6.27. I thought you said 6.47. I was like, you've given us 20 minutes there. Did you say 27? I did definitely say 6.27. I was like, you've given us 20 minutes there. Did you say $27? I did definitely say $6.27. Maybe you said $47. James, can you please run the air check machine? Okay, if I said $6.27, you both owe me $20.

No, I would just be like, I'm sorry, I misheard you. But if you said $6.47, you're fired. What if you said $6.47, do you have to give us both $20? No, I want a heartfelt apology. Oh, you'll get one. Absolutely heartfelt, though. Really heartfelt. Really heartfelt.

Yeah. Okay. Thank you. All right, carry on. In Australia at the moment, at Coles, they are doing one of those collectibles. So what ones will you have had?

We had the Domino's. Oh. Oh, the Domino's. Yeah, like the kids ones. Oh, yeah, we had the knife set. We had the sharp knife set Then we had the cutlery set Then we had a crockery set

I think we had some pots But what did Countdown do The dominoes The dominoes Those were massive Yeah right And I feel like they did figurines Oh that was

That was Zed Zed did the little DC heroes and villains Stackables New World did the Little Mike The little shop The little shop

That was pretty cool People went crazy over that Yeah That was pretty cool. People went crazy over that. Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty cool. So this is called Stickies. It's Stickies collectibles. They're little like figurines and they have like a little sucker bottom so you can go on like a table.

Right. It's like as simple as it sounds. So there's like tomato, orange, potato. Oh, so they're all like fruit and veg in there. Yeah. Right. And you just stick them on a table. And so same idea,

you shop at the supermarket in Aussie, you get one of these. And you can get collectibles. Okay, right. But there's always some that are harder to get than others. And Coles released 100 rare gold Billy Bananas. Oh, I'm looking at Billy Banana now.

He's a cool dude. How many? 100 of them. Only 100? Yeah, so they're really hard to come by. Jeez, okay. He's a cool dude. How many? 100 of them. Only 100? Yeah, so they're really hard to come by. But they're just gold colour, right? They're not actually made of gold. Oh, yeah, they're just gold colour.

But I think they're bigger, aren't they? The Billy Bananas are, like, big. Right, okay. Yeah. So everyone wants to get their hands on this gold Billy Banana, including this boy who is seven years old. And he went on to eBay and found Billy Banana, including this boy who is seven years old. And he went on to eBay and found Billy Banana. He's like, I'm going to have that.

I'm going to take mum's credit card and I'm going to buy it because she would want me to have it. So he bought Billy Banana for $10,000. Jesus. $10,000? No, Mo. Would they know how to use your credit card if they found it? Oh? $10,000. No, mate. Would they know how to use your credit card if they found it? Oh, my God, no.

My credit card doesn't even have that kind of limit. Yeah, that's what I mean. The other thing, who would have your 10 grand on your credit card? That's crazy. So, mum found out that they had bought Billy Banana. She said, it's certainly nothing that I budgeted for and certainly nothing we can afford. So, I don't actually know if she's going to try and get it back.

Because this would have been buying off somebody else, right? Yeah. And he would have used the credit card through like a PayPal or a – Yeah. Like he's not getting the money back, right? Saved on eBay or something, yeah. But some people have been paying $20,000 for Billy Banana. What the –

I know, it's madness. Well, mum could turn around and sell it. Hopefully she could sell it for more. I guess she could actually. That's a good point. The thing about stuff made of really soft rubber is that it just perishes after a while. Yeah. Like it doesn't have a forever life.

Yeah. Like something made of stone or... Yeah. I don't know. There's like comments of people being like, well, I thought I was going to go to university but no, it turns out I'm just going to own a Billy Banana.

A Billy Banana. People are paying so much money. What's the long-term investment plan? I don't know. There's really not. Just at the time

you want them all. Yeah. Like at least like Beanie Babies. Remember when everyone was going crazy for Beanie Babies? Yeah, but I can understand

their investment portfolio. People collect McDonald's toys but at least that's worldwide, you know, and there would be a lot of collectors. And you also have to wait ages, don't you? You know, you have to wait ages and then they run once in 20 years' time. Yeah, and not all McDonald's toys are going to be worth anything, but it's the ones that gather a bit of a cult status. Like, do you remember those ones, those Transformer ones?

That was like a hamburger and the chips and they transformed into it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those were legit. I think you'd get a lot of money for those. Do you guys remember just before when I said $20 if I had the time right?

Yeah. James, the producer, has produced some audio of that break. So I swear I said 627. Okay. And you said I said-

We both thought you said 647. Okay, well let's listen and see who's right. Portugal, the man, on set M, Fleek, Schmornemegen, 627. Okay, well, let's listen and see who's right. Portugal, the man. On, ZM.

Fleece, Wannamagin, 627. Okay, heartfelt apologies. So there is a... 627. I thought you said 647. Sorry. I'm very, very sorry. I misheard you.

I'm sorry. I misheard you, and then I misspoke. I spoke out of turn. Are you still deaf in one ear? Hey, he's apologising. It's not heartfelt enough, to be honest. I'm so sorry. Okay, now that's sarcastic.

I don't know what I've done. Is that good? Is that what people do when they cheat on their partner? I didn't mean to. But at the time I totally did. I knew what my penis was doing. It's attached to me. From the ZM Think Tank. I totally did. I knew what my penis was doing. Oh, my God.

It's attached to me. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. When, there we go, when you got to have nuggies, you got to have nuggies. And a woman who was pregnant got to have them nuggies. Yep. And she went into McDonald's and then she went into active labour. So right there in the McDonald's, in front of the toilets by the looks of things, because I can see the lady symbol in the background, she gave birth.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. I think by the time the paramedics got there, it was pretty much done. But a healthy baby boy was delivered. And then they got one of those little mop buckets out and mopped it up and put one of those signs up saying wet floor. I assume.

You'd hope so. But if your baby's born at McDonald's, you could go like the Beckhams. They named their babies where they were conceived. Is that right? Brooklyn. Yeah, but you could go where your baby was born. Would you want your name to be a reminder of where your parents had sex?

Nah. I mean, not personally. Like imagine yours, Stoke. Stoke, yeah. Morrinsville. Well, I've worn Spanish for vagina, so I guess my name is a constant reminder of where it happened. I had no idea of your Spanish, your depth of Spanish. It's very deep.

The Spanish that is. Oh, my God. So the top six names for a baby born at McDonald's is today's top six. Okay. Number six, Sophie serve ice cream. Yes. Sophie serve ice cream. 50 cents.

I bet she won't be working half the time. No, she's often just broken or just CBF getting it fixed. Yeah. What is the delay? Is it like elevators? Is it very limited people who are qualified to work on them? No, I think that they run out, don't they? And then it takes a while for the soft serve to...

Oh, to freeze. To freeze. Oh, so it's not a broken machine, it's the... Yeah. So I think the last time or the time before I went to Mac is I wanted a sundae and they were like... I'd have two machines that work on a rotation policy. Yeah.

Like while that one's working, that one's chilling. Yeah. Visa versa. This is why I've always said you should be running the world, Vaughn. You're always right. Or at the very latest, the McDonald's. Yeah. While that one's working, that one's chilling. Yeah. Visa versa. This is why I've always said you should be running the world, Vaughn. You're always right. Or at the very least, the McDonald's. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six names for a baby born at McDonald's is John Hamburger.

Brilliant, yeah. Named after the classic burger option and also TV heartthrob John Ham. Yep. John Hamburger. Number four on the list of the top six names for a baby born at McDonald's. Quentin Pounder. Oh, this is a stretch. With cheeses.

Quentin Pounder. Quentin. It looks like quarter. When I wrote it down, it felt way more like quarter pounder. Quentin Pounder. Quentin Pounder. That's like quarter pounder. Quentin Pounder. Quentin Pounder. That's how you deliver it. Quentin Pounder.

With cheeses. Yeah. Cheeses can be the middle name. Quentin Jesus Pounder. Quentin Pounder with cheeses. Quentin Jesus Pounder. I love it. Quentin Jesus Pounder.

Why are you named that? We'd say Jesus Pounder. Long story. Jesus Pounder. Jesus. You. Quentin Jesus Pounder. Why are you named that? We'd say Jesus Pounder. Long story. Jesus Pounder. Jesus. You would in Spanish-speaking countries. Yeah. Quentin Jesus Pounder.

That's so stupid. I don't even know what I meant with this one. Oh, yes, I do. Number three on the list of the top six names for a baby born at McDonald's. Oh, a Rickon McReese. Means to be Chicken McCheese. Oh, my God, you're getting loose. Rickon McReese.

Right. A Rickon McReese. Right. Rickon McReese. Rickon McReese. That should have been number six. Number two on the list of the top six names for a baby born at McDonald's. This one will fit.

Big Michaela. Oh, no. It wants to be Big will fit. Big Michaela. Oh, no. It wants to be Big Michaela. Big Matt. Michaela. Yeah. Or for a boy, Big McIntyre. Big Matt.

McKenzie. Big Mackenzie. Yeah. That could have been a unisex one there. Big Mackenzie. Would be a good name for a baby born at McDonald's. Number one on the list of the top six names for the baby born at McDonald's. Now, I want you to know, the other five were a stretch.

Yeah. This one is the only reason I chose this for today's top six. Okay. Okay. This is the crown jewel. You're hyping this up. Yeah. Usually how I do a top six is if I can't think of like three at the top of my head, it's too hard.

Okay. You do three and then you fill three okay scatter them around right you put the good ones at like six three and one

we're getting it working into your brain yeah here this one okay this will all be worth it like remember

Rick and McReese yeah rubbish absolute toilet yeah so the soft serve it was a stretch

this one though the top six names for a baby born at McDonald's number one Filippo Fish Absolute toilet. Yeah. Sophia Softsurf. It was a stretch. This one, though. The top six names for a baby born at McDonald's. Number one, Filippo Fish. Yes! Yes, yes! I told you it would be worth it! Calm down!

Thank you for saying with me, New Zealand. Thank you for believing in me. Sophia Surf, you're like, eh, it's not his best work. Try a hamburger. You're like, it's all right, it's all right. Rook and McReese almost lost you. Yeah.

Phillipo Fish. That is today's top six. Sephora's coming to New Zealand. Sephora. This is non-dual. Put your headphone on the media, please. It was you. Sephora is coming to New Zealand.

It's first New Zealand store. It will be three stories in Auckland on Queen Street. Why are they so big? I have an issue as well. I went past that one on Queen Street at the moment. Mecca Maxima. It's too big. That's the old as well. I went past that one on Queen Street at the moment. Mecca Maxima. It's too big. That's the old top shop.

Like, lipsticks are tiny. It's not just lipsticks. It has everything. Everything's tiny. But they are big, though, those stores. Too big. Well, what do you care? You don't go in it.

I know, I don't care, but it's just like there's a lot of space. And like I'm with Vaughan, lipsticks are tiny. Everything's tiny. It's not just lipsticks are tiny. Everything's tiny. It's not just lipsticks. The foundations are also tiny. Yeah, but there's highlighters. There's even skincare. Now Bunnings is big for a reason.

Because there's so much stuff in it. It's got a concrete mixer in it. That's just one example of big things that you can find there. There's just no need for these shops to be that big. They've got heaps of stock and so many brands. It's not just one lipstick. There's all the different colours, all the different brands. I feel like we've got too many shops.

Oh, my God. This is just a make-up shop. I feel like we've got too many shops. Too many, like, too much option. Right. Sephora is my number one when I go anywhere. And then I went to Germany and I don't think

they had one there. I was like, um, excuse me. You were outraged. I saved my shopping up for the end of my trip. Do they always have weird interiors or like quirky kind of, because you remember the only time I've ever been into Sephora was To use the slide. To use the slide. Because a friend of the show, Maddie McLean

and I in Barcelona were walking around and they had a Sephora, but it was downstairs. But they had a slide, like a kid's slide, but for adults. And we were like, we've got to. How great. So we went down and then end up in the shop of, so just walked back out and then had another go on the slide.

I've Googled Sephora interiors. I don't think there's anything. It's very black and white. Oh, right. Okay. Fletch would have been like scared by like the big lipsticks and like they have like big signage and stuff. Well, I had no reason to be in there apart from the slide, but they're so walked out.

But I wonder if they will do a slide here. Well, they're doing five, it's about $5 million on the fit out. So maybe. I mean, that's lots of budgetary room for a slide. We could only hope, fingers crossed. And it's three stories. Yeah. So maybe. I mean, that's lots of budgetary room for a slide. A slide. We can only hope. Fingers crossed. And it's three stories. Yeah.

You said. Whereabouts is it going? Queen Street. 146 to 152. What's the moment? It's next to ASB. They're fitting it out. It's all like boarded up at the moment.

What used to be there? I think a camera store or something. RIP. Thanks, phones. Thanks for being so handy and eliminating the need for too much yeah do they say when it's opening before christmas we'll have it for christmas oh my god it's so great well i can deliver now like you can ship to new zealand but there's just something about going in there and actually trying on stuff for yourself yeah okay wasted yeah all right a couple of minutes yeah but if everyone's trying it on There's just something about going in there and actually trying on stuff for yourself. Yeah, okay. Wasted.

Yeah, all right. A couple of minutes later. Yeah, but if everyone's trying it on, you're going to get cold soles. Cold soles. Put it on your hand, Vaughan. Oh, okay. Lipstick. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. ZM. The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, has paid for somebody's groceries. Now, this is a mother of two who was in the supermarket and realised when she got to the checkout and the groceries had been scanned, she'd forgot her wallet. Man, I've done that.

That's so embarrassing. Oh, worst, yeah, worst nightmare. Because you're like, oh, okay, can you put it on hold and I'll have to come back and pay for it and... Like, when we went out for coffee after the show yesterday and met those people, Vaughan, we were in the line at the coffee store and I'd put my hand on my back pocket and I was like, I've left my wallet.

But luckily they offered to pay. I wasn't. Yeah, I wasn't paying. I had my wallet out, but it was purely a token gesture. Did you pat your bum and be like, oh my gosh, I forgot my wallet. No, I didn't say anything because then that would have just sounded even worse. And I was like, oh God, I hope. And then I was going to have because then that would have just sounded even worse and I was like oh god I hope and then I was going to have to be like

for when you pay that's the worst I've been at a supermarket where somebody was like in front of me and they didn't have their wallet and I was like I'll offer to pay

and I leaned forward to see how much it was I was like $85 Jesus step back be quiet like what would have been

your cutoff? They're not... $40? $17? Oh, $17. Whatever. You're talking $30. What?

That I would have paid for them at? Yeah. I wouldn't have paid for them if it was $30. $17, I said, not $17. Oh, you said $70. Oh, $17. What sort of silly idiot goes to the supermarket with that double check and they've got their wallet?

Yeah, I think because this is on you. You've got to learn your lesson. You know they're never going to learn their lesson if you keep holding their hand through life. Okay. No, yeah. But it was me. So I'm like, please help me, stranger.

Please. But so she got like, this story obviously got picked up around the world Especially due to the fact That you know She's been You know In world headlines

And before you say anything What was your initial reaction When you saw that I went That's so just That's really nice I thought that's something She would do

Yeah Even if she wasn't Prime Minister 100% That's all I thought Well not all I was like yeah That would be something

That Jacinda would do Oh but Megan I When I saw this yesterday I I don Well not all I was like yeah That would be something That Jacinda would do Oh but Megan I When I saw this yesterday I I don't know why I do this Because I know I'm going to get Upset with the world

Oh yeah But I clicked on the comments Under the Facebook post And I was like And there were these Conspiracy theories They were like She's doing this to get press

Oh you know How convenient Well she didn't ask anyone To talk about it No she didn't She didn to talk about it, did she? No, she didn't. What supermarket was it at? Oh, I don't know. Like New World?

Would it be at her local? Which would be a Countdown, I think. But it might have been in Wellington. But then, yeah, true. I don't know where this happened. Because regardless, like, she paid for the person's groceries, but did she claim their points? Countdown and Ponsonby. C's groceries, but did she claim their points? Countdown and Ponsonby.

Claim their points. Did she claim their points? I don't know. Was she like, I'll pay for it. Did she swipe her one card? I'll pay for it, but I'm also going to swipe my one card because I'm just a few points off a voucher. So have I overstepped?

Tough, tough shit. You want to be deported? I'll pay for them, but I'm taking the points. That's how this works. I think that's fair. This is a trade-off. But I need the points. You don't need the points.

What you need is a reminder to grab your wallet before you leave the house. All right? I'm the Prime Minister. Do you want to go to jail? Can I do that? This is why you would never be the Prime Minister. Do you want to go to Nauru? Huh?

Get out of here. Take your groceries. Get out of my face. You actually sound like the the Prime Minister. You want to go to Nauru? Huh? Get out of here. Take your groceries. Get out of my face. You actually sound like the Australian Prime Minister. Yeah, yeah. Who, by the way, did you hear did a Borat impersonation? Yes, I did. Did you hear it?

Did you hear him do it? Yes, I did. The Australian Prime Minister. In Parliament did a Borat impersonation about a tax. It was about a fuel tax or something Yeah and he was mentioning Kazakhstan

because they have this tax and he's like I'd call this the Borat tax now on there and over there they might say very nice but here

no and it was like if you're gonna go in on a Borat impersonation this long after look at Austin Powers put so much into it that people who like an Austin Powers impression Put so much into it that people who like

an Austin Powers impression are like, ha, Austin Powers. And people that don't are like, he's doing it ironically. Yeah. He was just doing it terribly.

You go, do I make you horny, baby? Like, throw everything you've got at it. Don't half-ass it. Yeah, yeah. Because you'll lose everybody. You've got to hit it enough.

Just the right amount of oomph. Yeah. Next on the show, producer Caitlin is in a spot of bother. Her life is a mess at the moment. Apart from the fact that she's got a boyfriend, that's all going well for you. Yeah, yeah. No, my life is successful in that area.

Yeah. Right now. At present. At present. But everything else is falling apart. Another problem. We might be able to help her next. ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. We all have one of those friends who needs just a little bit of extra help. Maybe we all need to look out for them a little bit more. Caitlin's one of those friends. Hello! She's our charity project. She was late to work this morning and before we panicked this was nice. You sent a message saying

I'm going to be late. Funny story. Whereas Vaughn just turns up late. Yeah. And we've got to guess why. Panicking. Keep them guessing, baby. I'm like, where's Wally?

Am I even on this page? If I've not been circled by some kid in the library. Keep looking. It's funny. You did say funny story. Do you want to tell everyone what the funny story is? It wasn't that funny. But so I'm house sitting at the moment in One Tree Hill.

So I pick James up every morning and bring him to work. It's real cute. You guys are carpooling. Yeah. And so I was actually just running late anyway because I've just had my brows done. So I had to like be real careful about that. So I was just doing my makeup. And then I went to get into my car and I got into my car rushing and I was like.

That was the sound the car made when you turned the key, wasn't it? Yeah. And I was like, oh, hang on a minute. And then I just did it like another six times. I was like, why is the car not turning on? And then I realised it was probably dead. Broken. But the lights were turning on. And then I realised it was probably dead. Broken. But the lights were turning on.

Okay. So I did all the things that I, because some, you know, when your car's not in park, it won't turn on. Yeah. It was in park. The handbrake was on.

No, I get that with the car when it's not in park. You're like, what the hell is wrong with this? Or you can't get the keys out of it. You're like, oh my God, my keys are stuck in here for good. My car's broken. And you've had this car for like years, eh? But it's't get the keys out of it. You're like, oh my God, my keys are stuck in here for good. My car's broken.

And you've had this car for like years, eh? Yeah, but it's just one of those little simple slip of the mind things. Yeah, I get that. So then what I had to do is call James in a panic. And he was like, don't worry, we can get my car. But I was really determined because I'm house sitting. There's two other cars there. Neither of which you own or are insured to drive.

Hadn't thought of that. Don't tell my mum. So anyway, so because I had my gumboots on this morning, I was like, I can do this. So what I did is I put the car into reverse and I like pushed it, pulled it, pushed it back and forward and back and forward and moved it. I was able to move it.

Why didn't you put it into neutral? Because I wanted to take it backwards. You know what I'm worried about? That's something really stupid. The good thing about the ongoing situation that is your life is that I take a note every time of things I've got to teach my girls

before they leave home. Like if you want to push a car, put it in neutral and take the park brake off. I knew to take that off. But no, because I didn't want it to go forward. I needed it to come back. Yeah, it goes forward and back in neutral. Neutral just means it'll roll.

Okay, well, anyway, I thought it was pretty smart of me that I knew to move the car. Wait, you were able to push it in reverse while it was in reverse. You are strong. I know. It's like when the adrenaline's pumping, you can move cars. Is it not ruining? She may have just lifted it.

I think I did just lift it up and place it. And then I was, like, really good with manoeuvring, and I got the other car out, and, yeah, but now my car is not good. So Megan feels bad because she thinks your car was making a noise the other day. So, yeah, remember when we pulled up real cute at the Traveller? Yeah. We turned the corner together, and we were like, hey! Hi!

Out the window. Yeah, that was real cute. But before we actually pulled off and turned the corner, your car was going... No, because it's a... What kind of car is that? It's yellow. What's the...

It's yellow. Yeah. It's a... What is it? Honda Jazz? No. Honda... Automatic.

Fit. Honda Fit. Honda Fit. And the Honda Fit always takes a wee while to get started. That's not a thing. That's why Honda keep making them. They made them badly and they were like, you know what? People love the characteristic of a car that goes badly.

That's what the person at the shop told me. He was like, you could get this fixed and pay $800 or you could just leave it for a while. And I was like, okay, cool. Oh, no. Oh, Caitlin. No, it's fine. It just doesn't have that grunty, like, it takes a while to... But what is the ticking?

Didn't you have that alternator? It's an alternator, right? It's a starter motor. Or it's definitely something to do with the... Starter motor's getting not enough power. I think it just needs a jump start, eh, and then it'll be fine. Well, yeah, but then as soon as you turn it off again, it's... But then if the alternator's not working, it's not charging the battery, a jump start will sort it once, but... Yeah, but then you probably get the

alternator fixed and then your gearbox will break because you were pushing your car while it was in reverse. I mean, if you could push your car while it was in reverse, it's probably already broken. Oh, guys! I can't do this. Cars are so hard. I hate

them, eh? I hate them. I hate cars. Well, I need a chauffeur. Yeah, they're called Ubers. That's the answer. That's the answer. They're expensive, but it's great. Yeah. Maybe I'll get a little scooter, but you can't drive them on the motorway, eh?

Please don't get a scooter. No, a moped. No. We know what you meant. We're just saying no across the board. What about a motorbike? No. Absolutely not.

No. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Mumsnet brings us so much stuff. So much good stuff. If I was a mum and I was like, should I post this on Mumsnet? No. The answer would automatically be,

no, I won't post this on Mumsnet. How many stories get picked up from Mumsnet that go worldwide viral? Yeah. So many. And wildly savage as well. Yeah, you think you're in a safe place, but then they post it and they get absolutely torn down.

Any Facebook page or group is just so savage. I don't know. I'd look, but I wouldn't ever post. You're going to realise what people have a problem with as soon as I read the first line of this post. So, yeah, a mum has taken to Mumsnet and she writes, I am ashamed to say this, but I really do have a favourite child. No!

How dare you? I have two sons and the oldest three is a real struggle for me and has been from day one. He is so intense and determined and he really overwhelms me. My DH, what's my DH? Oh, dear husband. Dear hubby, yeah. Is blessed with patience

and really does a lot more of the hard graft. They have a great bond. I really enjoy my second son, 18 months. I feel like I understand him perfectly and I'm 100% the most qualified to care for him in any situation. I try really hard to disguise my feelings. For example, I always take my older son shopping,

just the two of us, and I allow him to scan the shop. I organise lots of playdates, but I feel I really am trying to force a bond I just can't make. So she's like the youngest is my favourite. No, the middle's her favourite. The middle, the second son. Oh, the second son. And there's a third.

Is that what? Oh, no, she has two sons. So her second son is the youngest. I thought you said third. I was like, she's got a three and 18-month-old and a baby. I was like, holy moly, no wonder she's overwhelmed. That's a lot. She's got two sons and her youngest is her favourite.

Surely you'd have a favourite. You just never admit it. You just never admit it. Because I always think if I got another dog, because I want another doggy, I would be like, would your first dog be your favourite or would you be like my second? Don't get another dog.

Why would you do that? Because one's cute. Two would be cuter. They play with each other. Yeah. Our old dog has become so much better behaved since we got a new dog. Really? Yeah.

There's a bit of competitive stuff in there. Okay. So she like behaves because she wants to be as loved as the new dog. Because she's not loved as much. Oh, Lulu. Well, she is. But she's, you know, she's had her time. She's had her day. She's had a good run. She's had a great run. Oh, no. Nah, she is, but she's, you know, she's had her time. She's had a day. She's had a good run.

She's had a great run. Nah, she's still very loved. Yeah. But isn't. But she's not the favorite. She's not the new floof. But you'd never tell that to her. But when you have kids, this is weird because when you have one kid,

and this is my situation anyway, not like this woman's. When you have one kid, you love this kid from the moment you see it. You're like, how do I love this thing so much? This is- You made it. I know, and you're like, you've only been here for a moment and now I can't imagine you not being here.

You love, and then when you've got the second one on the way, you're like, I'm scared I'm not gonna be able to love another thing as much as I love this child. Is there enough love to go around? Is it a finite resource? And then, yeah, like I start thinking about love like it's

fossil fuels. Like it'll run out. We need to start thinking of alternative love sources. And then the second baby comes and you're like, what was I worried about? Like I'm feeling exactly the same amount of love as I did for the first one.

The minute I, and you're like, oh, okay, it's all going to be great. But are there days where you're like, man, August, I think I just like a little bit more today because you're annoying me. I don't know. No, because you don't think on a scale like that anymore. Yeah, right. Because that's the thing I always thought, oh, you have your favourite. And maybe when they get older and that and one becomes unbearable,

you might, but. Yeah. Or like when they're adults and one actually puts an effort to still be part of the family and one doesn't, you might have a favourite. But I don't know. No, not at this stage. Definitely don't. Yeah.

Have a favourite. It's just hard for all of us because we are the favourite children. I know. It's hard to imagine what it would be like not to be the most favourite. Yeah. I'll ask my brother one day what it's like to be. Yeah. I'll ask my brother one day what it's like to be. That's right, yeah. All right.

Our spies. They don't say it per se. No, yeah. Somethings don't need to be said. Yeah, we do know, don't we? Britney's. Oh, yeah, we know. Although my dad does have a running joke that my brother's a favourite at the moment because he helped build a brick wall at the house.

Oh, then he went viral. Yeah, but then he did. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, now he's gone viral, so I'm the favourite. Next time Dad's like,'m the favorite he's the favorite i'll be like well i've been saving some ammo for you john watch this video of him swearing a lot welcome one welcome all to the fletch warning megan podcast brought to you by spark get four gigs of bonus data on spark's 49 prepaid value pack now on with the podcast last night um for some, it popped into my head that when I was a kid, when I first saw the movie Jurassic Park, so I would have been 10 or 11.

Okay. When I first saw Jurassic Park, the scene where you may remember Jeff Goldblum's in the back of the Jurassic Park Jeep. Yeah. And he looks and he sees a little tremble in the puddle the massive puddle that's an iconic scene and he's like we gotta go

classic Goldblum delivery we gotta go and they jump in and they start going and then the T-Rex bursts out from behind the tree and it's just like and that actually wasn't too bad. That was pretty good actually.

Maybe it'll need a little bit more throaty. It needs to be a bit more. Nah, ruined it. Should have just been happy with my first performance. Should have been happy with my first outing. And it bursts out and they're like, and this T-Rex like boom, boom, boom behind them. And I'm like,

I just remember as a kid, it terrified me. Yeah. There was a lot in that Jurassic Park that scared me first time around. Like the toilet thing where the toilet goes off and it goes like, ah, and the T-Rex goes, spoiler alert, but this movie's like 20 odd years old now. Down in like Boston, I was like, ah! And then when this chase thing happened, I was like, ah! Faster, faster!

And it was highly, I was very tense at the, faster, faster. And it was highly. Yeah. I was very tense at the time. And I thought that just gone is. Yeah. And they got those. They get away. Okay. Spoiler alert.

But for some reason, it popped into my head last night. So I YouTubed it. Yeah. Found the scene and great quality too. Okay. And just because, you know, sometimes you'll look up something and they have like eight watermarks on it and it'll be blurry and reversed. So they're trying to get around trademark. And I said to Shada,

I was like, do you reckon the girls would be freaked out by the first Jurassic Park, the original Jurassic Park? I mean, it terrified you at 11. Yeah. Surely. And she said, oh, I don't know. I wouldn't try it.

Like, okay. Indy, August saw something about tigers now once and they like freak her out. Okay. She had a nightmare the other night that a tiger was eating a unicorn. Oh. Yeah.

Which is impossible. I was like, look, that can't happen. Yeah. Only because it's got its horn. If it was a zebra, 100%. Yeah. I think somehow cross paths because I realise one's African

and one's predominantly Asian. Yeah. But she's like, oh, I don't know about it. I was like, hey, Indy, do you want to watch this? Yeah. Remember, dinosaurs don't exist about it I was like hey Indy do you want to watch this yeah it's remember dinosaurs don't exist now yeah come and watch this

and so she was like okay and I was like remember it's a little bit scary but it's just pretend Shardai's like you're dealing with the nightmares

I said okay I'm just going to try it okay so I was like okay so watch this boom clicked it and shaky puddle dinosaur comes around the corner

I'm like whoa are you freaked out she's like no I'm like, whoa. You freaked out? She's like, no. I was like, what about the dinosaur? She's like, it doesn't look that real. I was going to say, it's like looking back at those old Godzilla, like black and white birds. And you can see the strings or the, I don't know.

And I was like, what do you mean? Look, it's running. She's like, hmm. And then I remember like this. These kids have grown up in an age of like the next level. This movie was probably very early CGI, that dinosaur. Most of the dinosaurs in that movie were actually like puppets. Yeah.

Animatronic dinosaurs, so they looked a bit more real in their movements. But this was actually running and looked. Yeah. And I looked and I was like, ah, it kind of does look like a Jim Henson Muppet running now with its legs kind of like. And I was like, what do you reckon? She's like,

it's a bit boring. I was like, are you kidding me? This is an intense scene of my childhood. A bit weird, looks fake, boring. It scared you to death that it's boring.

When I was a kid, it was so intensely scary. And now I'm just being told by children that are younger than when I was scared by it that it's a little bit boring and a little bit weird. Hurt my feelings. Yeah, I bet. Really hurt my feelings. So I'm going to show them The Exorcist this

weekend. Let's see. Let's see who's scared now. Show them it. No. Don't do that. It's too long. They wouldn't sit through it. No, just edit down the clown bits. The scary bits. The scary clown bits. No, I'm not going to show them either of those movies. I still haven't watched The Exorcist.

Mum wouldn't let us as a kid, and there's nothing about it that I want to see now. I know her head spins around and she vomits puke everywhere, but that's all I really need to see. So I was wondering this morning, I want to know what really scared you as a kid. And maybe you've seen it again since and be like, oh, it's a bit. Right.

Well, I remember it being far more terrifying. Does it have to be a movie? No. No, no, no, no. It could just be anything that scared you as a kid. When I was a little kid, like, Dad would take us up a real steep street in the car and it would be real exciting. And I'd be like, no, but what if we don't make it? I'm going up the hill.

You'd be scared if your car wouldn't make it. Oh, my God. Like if the brakes weren't? I'm going up and down I'm going down and I'm like oh my god like if the brakes turn on yeah like so both up and down were terrifying yeah yeah split your household

be like do you want to go up the steepest street and you'd be like yes and then you'd be like what are we doing? no we should never have come up here yeah and now I'll go

up that street and I'll be like this isn't that steep it's not that scary but I guess you were driving the car so you're in control and you're an adult now

so yeah you're aware of cars and their ability to get up steep I don't know did you have anything that was like I was real scared

of the labyrinth that oh that movie but that just has like puppets and a baby yeah yeah looking back that's a bit

at the time it was very creepy yeah very creepy it gave me nightmares children to watch okay so David Bowie's balls.

I know. It was in like white. Both the ones he rolled right in his hands and the ones you could see through his white pants. White lycra pants. Children shouldn't be saying that. So 0800-DARLS-IT-IN-9696. Text or call now. What scared you as a kid but doesn't so much now?

Yeah. Looking back, you're like, yep, okay. Probably shouldn't have been. But then scary movies get you even as an adult, don't they? Yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. They've stepped up. They've stepped up.

All right, give us a call. We want to know what terrified you as a child that maybe now you see and you're like, that was a bit ridiculous. But you're a kid. You're a kid. Your imagination gets away on you. A lot of movies. Some text messages.

Somebody said, do you remember on Sesame Street, the yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep aliens? I didn't like those either. Didn't you? I liked that one. It was one of my favourites. They were fun. Some weird noise would happen.

They'd be like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yeah, no, they were. I think it's the movement. There was lots of Muppet stuff that was a little bit creepy. The way they moved. What? You like Snuffleupagus? I love Snuffleupagus.

He's my favourite. I love Snuffleupagus as well. Why are you calling him Snuffleupagus? Snuffle Do you like Snuffleupagus? I love Snuffleupagus. He's my favourite. I love Snuffleupagus as well. Why are they called Snuffleupagus? Snuffleupagus. Snuffleupagus. No, it's Snuffleupagus. Snuffleupagus. Snuffleupagus.

Snuffleupagus. Snuffleupagus. Google it. Snuffle. Snuffleupagus. Snuffleupagus. Snuffleupagus. Were you wrong?

Get out, Mr. Snuffleupagus. Yeah, because you snuffle up to him. Yeah, Snuffleupagus. Were you wrong? Get out, Mr. Snuffleupagus. Yeah, Snuffleup. Because you snuffle up to him. Yeah, Snuffleupagus. A lie has been lived and it is my life. I love it when we're right. Can we have another heartfelt apology? This is your second one today. I'm not apologising for my childhood being inexplicably tarnished.

But you were wrong. I was living a lie. But I was misinformed. No, I love Snuffleupagus. And do you know, they've got one of those cleaners in Auckland, the machines, and it looks like a Snuffleupagus. Have you seen that? It's like a giant vacuum cleaner.

I've always said they should dress it up as Snuffleupagus. Oh, that'd be great. Because then it would make it so much more friendly. And like, think of the gram. People would get the gram. Emma, what scared you as a kid? The movie Jumanji. Oh, what about it?

Just like the board game, the actual noise, and it goes like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I just, that like ruined my whole childhood for board games. Like every time I go to my friends, I'm like, what is my board game? I was about like, what, 11? I can't even remember. You're like, I don't want to disappear. Yeah, I don't want to disappear into a jungle world.

Now I look at it and I'm like, oh, it's a board game. You're just a board game. You can't hurt me. I mean, if you're Monopoly, you can literally tear a family apart, but you can't hurt me. Yeah, thanks. You call Emma. Jodie, this was a movie that scared you?

Yeah, you know the movie, It's 13 Ghosts, and it's the one in the glass house with all like the captured ghosts? No. No. What, no idea? What, are ghosts like tomatoes? They stay in the glass house over winter so they can keep growing. Oh, okay. Even the movie poster looks terrifying.

Yeah, so I watched that when I was nine and my sister got it out when she was 12. I watched 10 minutes and cried to sleep and slept in my parents' bed. Oh my God. I currently nanny, so I make the 13-year-old,

the 14-year-old and the 15-year-old watch it. Yeah. See if they found it terrifying and they just laughed the whole way through. That hurts. Or much too late

when the girls saw the Jurassic Park scene. So can't chase. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, no guys, this is terrifying. You should all be, like, crying right now. I know, exactly.

But nothing. Jodie, thanks for your call. Megan, what scared you as a kid? The BFG book. Oh, because of the BF story. Nah, the other giants were the scary ones, eh? Yeah, so I remember being in year four at primary school and being read the book and going home

and not being able to sleep, up in the middle of the night having nightmares that the giant was at my window. So it got so bad, mum had to go into school and talk to my teacher. And when she read the book to the class, I sat out in the hallway. I was more scared of, do you remember the witches when they did the movie? Yeah, that's another Raald Al. Oh, yeah, that was terrifying.

Lots of Raald Al things were a little creepy. He was on some serious drugs, eh? He invented a giant peach. James and the giant peach? Yeah, they had a boy inside of it. Thought of human-sized insects were quite freaky enough. Thanks, you cool, Megan. Some text messages.

Some other text messages about things that you were scared of as a kid. The Care Bears movie. I don't know what. Maybe it was because the Care Bears were facing, you know, I think they were going to get their powers stripped, weren't they? Right. It was that scary, was it? Oh, yeah.

They were like a mispracticing lawyer. They were about to have their powers stripped away from them. Somebody said driving over the Kaimai Ranges. This isn't a movie, but it was always – I get this. I kind of understand it. It's a steep hill and there's turns and you can't see. It's a scary piece of road. Scary.

My grandparents used to live in Matamata, up on the hills, and it used to freak me out looking out in the darkness at towns. Right. I don't know why, but the lights in the distance used to scare me. Yeah, right. Because you could see the cars waving up the Kymai stream. Oh, yuck. You're weird.

You're weird. I'm getting goosebumps. I don't know why. Lights in the distance still freak me out a bit. Like, I love stars. Yeah. But if they're I love stars. Yeah. But if they're on the ground. What nefarious things are those people doing that require lights?

Driving or living? Next on the show, Flashback Friday. It's a Friday tradition. We're going to go back to, it's your pick, Vaughn, 2008. 2008. I can't believe we missed this last year. And it was just earlier this week. You were like, whatever happened to this band?

Yeah. Well, we're going to find out next. I've got an answer for that. And I've also, I can tell you what Friday Flashback is. Also, we've got a special guest in studio, a robot.

We have a robot guest. I'm sorry about this. This is going to be great. Friday Flashback. Earlier in the week, I said to myself, whatever happened to, insert band name here? And it led me down a path of trying to find out

whatever happened to them. The latest news on this band is that, is this song, did we have to load this song in? No. Like literally this wasn't in the radio station database, James. Are you kidding? No, it wasn't. I mean, it could be wasn't in the radio station database, James. Are you kidding? No, it wasn't.

I mean, it could be to do with the title as well. It might, but this is, let me just say, a radio edit. Right, okay. Oh, that's good. I would have thought there would have been a radio edit hanging around. No. They missed a trick. This was before we started here. They missed a trick on having this banger in there.

It's never a good sign when the song is in a radio station database of like 20 radio stations. No, have we been missing this on Friday Jams? This is like staple. What a crime. It should have been in there. So they've just recently settled a lawsuit. Okay. They chose to settle this out of court.

This has been kind of going since 2013. Right. Oh, wow. What was the lawsuit over? Well, Rick Ross claimed that he, had they used the copyright phrase that he owns that said, every day I'm hustling. Right.

Okay. They slightly modified it to every day I'm shuffling. And he's like, too close, I'm suing you. So they sent it out of court. It's a different word. I hope for nothing because that's ridiculous. But it's not that song from this band that features that because that's not quite 10 years old yet.

Okay. The song we're about to play has been on many, many TV shows. Yep. It's charted all right and it features Red Fu in his white framed glasses and a wacky outfit and his buddy Sky Blue. features Red Fu in his white-framed glasses and a wacky outfit, and his buddy Sky Blue. And together, they make up the band LMFAO.

And this is Friday Flashback today. I'm in Miami Beach! See them? Step on the scene Y'all know me Cause I walk with a limp like a old school pimp A real OG I'm rockin' bands I'm in the scene I got a Red Bull and vodka up in my hand Hey You lookin' kinda cute

In that polka dot bikini girl Hey This what I wanna do Take off that polka dot bikini girl hey this what i want to do take off that polka dot bikini girl drink all day play all night let's get it popping i'm in miami bitch drink all day play all night let's get it popping i'm in Miami, bitch Everybody on smash Pins in the air I'm feelin' on the ass Like a nigga don't care

I got a plan What's your sale? We playin' naked, twisted Back in my hotel Hey! You lookin' kinda cute In that polka dot bikini, girl Hey, this what I wanna do

Take off that polka dot bikini, girl Drink all day, play all night Let's get it poppin', I'm in Miami, bitch Drink all day, play all night Let's get it poppin', I'm in Miami bitch drink all day Play all night. Let's get it poppin. I'm in Miami bitch Get your hands up Put that Get your hands up I'm in Miami Put put that I'm in Miami I'm in Miami

Bitch It's morning time And the girls still there They lying naked with some ass in the air That's what I'm talking about Anna won't sit back She's got some big cojones. But I say I'll be back. Gotta get some more coronas.

Hey. You looking kind of cute. Hey. In that polka dot bikini, girl. Hey. This what I want to do. What? Take off that polka dot bikini, girl.

Drink all day. Play all night. Let's get it poppin'. I'm in Miami, bitch. Drink all day. Play all night. Let's get it poppin'. I'm in Miami, bitch.

Get your hands up. Put that ass up. Get your hands up. Put that ass up. Get your hands up. I'm in Miami. Put that ass up. I'm in Miami. Get your hands up. Put that ass up.

Get your hands up. Put that ass up. I'm in Miami. Hello, MFAO. It's Flashback Friday today. I'm in Miami. I'm in my jammies. Hello, MFAO. It's Flashback Friday today. I'm in Miami. I'm in Miami, bitch. Okay, right.

2008. Yeah, end of 2008. Best text message is someone said, my daughter and I can't figure out what he's saying. Is he saying, I'm in my jammies? I'm in my jammies, bitch. I'm in my jammies, bitch. Next time your mum's like, get in your pyjamas and go to bed.

If you're like a 10-year-old or 12-year-old listening, try this. This will go well. Get in your pyjamas and go to bed. You'll be like, I'm in my jammies, bitch. That's going to go down really great with any mum. Oh, they love it. They absolutely love it. I've never called my mum a bitch.

Wouldn't dare. Wouldn't dare. Right. Joining us in studio, we met him just the other day. Al, who owns... We've known him for bloody years. No, I'm saying the listeners met him the other day. Oh, right.

You've met the travelling salesman the other day. Yes. And his robot vacuum... He's at our door with a robot vacuum cleaner. Because we were talking about robot vacuum cleaners because we were just talking about them and how fun they sounded and great. And Megan's rolling her eyes again

because she's like, ugh. But you have today brought in your robot vacuum cleaner to work. I brought him in. His name's Dr. Roboto. Yeah. And he's here to do a demonstration for you guys. This is so exciting.

Now, this is your Chinese robot vacuum cleaner. Are you using stuff from your cupboard to tip on the floor? We're going to do a demonstration. This is Caitlin's. We've got a choice of bulgur wheat or couscous. Oh, use the couscous. Did you not use this in your My Food Bag, Caitlin?

Nadia's really generous. She always gives like three or four cups and you only need one. She wants to fill you up on the carbs. Right. So we're going to sprinkle some couscous and some rice. Wow, James has not held back on the couscous. Oh, jeez, I don't want to break her robot. My house does not look like that.

This is a true test then, isn't it? But you do have a toddler. I do have a toddler, yeah. Your house could look like that at any minute without any warning. That is true. Right. And so it just sits there and it's got like a docking station. Is it like a magnetic?

Yeah, it's got its little magnet dock. And when it's ready to go, I'm going to choose a square on the ground and push the go button and hopefully it will go to the right place. We should be, we are not, can I say, this is an absolutely no way of paid endorsement, but we should be on commish. We totally should be. What's the brand name again?

Xiaomi. Xiaomi. Well, not necessarily Xiaomi because no one knows how to spell that. But just robot vacuum cleaners in general. I just can't believe this is $300. Megan, you buy shoes all the time and make-up and you wouldn't even let us buy one of these. I can't believe we're actually doing this as a segment.

Somebody said you'd be better off with a $1,000 Dyson. I said, I see your $1,000 Dyson and I play you three $380 vacuum cleaners. Imagine an army of robot vacuum cleaners. Yeah, but you only need one because it just does it. Now, I had a question, Al, because sometimes I do like a 2 a.m. wheeze. If I was going to the toilet because I go in the dark because I know. Yes, you do need to go to the doctor. Because I know.

No, because I drink a lot of water during the day. I know the layout of my house, so I don't turn on lights because I drink a lot of water during the day. I know the layout of my house so I don't turn on lights because I don't want it to wake me up. Would I stand on my robot vacuum cleaner if I got one? You wouldn't have it programmed to be cleaning at night would you? Because it would keep you awake. You do it when you're at work. But can you tell it to do that? Yeah.

You just say go at 6 o'clock. You know robots in movies start taking over and do what they want. I just thought that they cleaned when they wanted. But it has got a little bumper on the front, so if it runs into you, it'll just stop and then try and go around. Yeah, but I was thinking why I still want one. Yeah, you probably would stand on it and crush it. Get a big enough one you could ride it to the toilet.

And you could just program it, so you roll into bed, sit on it, and it takes you to the toilet. I love this idea. Okay, hit it out. All right, let's push the button. The Wi-Fi's a bit average. This is great for radio, guys. Well, we should go live in our FVM, aren't you?

Come in here and do something. All right, I'll go live. Well, we should go live in our FBM, aren't you? Come in here and do something. I'll go live. I think I can go live. Okay. He's off. How did you tell it to go? I put it on my phone. Look at it just going.

Aren't you? Watch out. You've walked into the couscous. Okay, this is great. So this is the Xiaomi. Now it's got to the right. It's swiping it. It swipes itself into its mouth like a cute little.

You know, that's not a bad job because I've got a feeling it's going to. Does it know that there's stuff there, Al? Yeah, so I've drawn a square on the ground. It's done an actual perfect line. And it's going to go back and forth now. There's a lot of couscous. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. That's sort of bad.

It's got little brooms. That's doing a pretty good job on a big couscous spill because you probably just get out the conventional vacuum on this. But sweeping some of the couscous to the side, though. Yeah, but it's got a little brush. Give it a chance, mate. I mean, we all could have swept that up by now. I want one so bad.

And I've got the tiniest apartment, but it would be worth it. This would be perfect for you. But you've got to step up, as we said, so you need to make a little access ramp. You want one now, don't you, Megan? No, I don't. Come on, Megan. Is this not winning you over, the Xiaomi?

Look at that. And it's real cute. Do you know what you should do is go to Spotlight and get some eyes, some googly eyes. Had they made it look like a little doggy or something, I'd be like, okay. I can almost guarantee you better buy something on AliExpress, like a skin for it or something, surely. One of my favourite features

isn't actually the vacuum cleaning function, but it's, if it's knotted at stock and you don't know where it is, hopefully this works. You push the button. I'm over here. He's finished, bang on. Hi, I'm over here. It talks to you.

I'm over here. I'm over here. I love it. Shush, do it again. Hi, I'm over here. Oh my God. It talks to you. Someone's going to fall in love with their robot vacuum cleaner.

Can you tell it its name? I want it to be like, Megan, I'm over here. If you could do that. You're on. I'm on. And it's going back to its dock. Oh, my gosh. It's doing the cute little butt wiggle onto its dock.

Oh, you're adorable. Oh, that's great. Okay. In our pet rankings now, Al's robot vacuum cleaner has just overtaken Megan's dog. Yay! It's cuter. It's cuter.

It's way cuter. We can even get some googly eyes for it. Yeah. Alistair! This is great. This is really great. Actually, that might pull it down. Oh, yeah.

So mentally on. Well, you can see Instagram FEMM, for the robot vacuum cleaner. It's so great. And this is, again, an unpaid endorsement. We just love gadgets. I want one. I want one. I think we're going to need to set it going again because it has missed quite a lot of couscous.

It has missed couscous, but that was just a quick preliminary. It's going to go back and do a great job with the rest of it. We're going to do the whole studio. Just head out. This is great. Thank you so much. Next on the show, it's our 15th anniversary and do a great job with the rest of it we can do the whole studio just head out this is great thank you so much next on the show it's our 15th anniversary today Vaughn

uh huh 15 years it hasn't all been at this radio station we did play around with another radio station yeah we did oh I thought

you were going to talk about our time as Kiwi Experience bus hosts no and that time we ran a Hawke's Bay

Airbnb I was just a B&B Back then And that time You had a TV show What happened to that? Let's not talk about The TV show

Flesh, Vaughan and Megan The podcast ZM Today It is our It's a robot Vacuum cleaner In the background

Makes a bit of noise Probably did a wonderful job On the second sweep on that remaining couscous, by the way. Probably didn't think about that while we're on air. It's a bit distracting. Anyway, today is our 15th anniversary, Vaughan. It's our anniversary. It's Crystal. Fifth of April.

It's Crystal. 15 years. It's Crystal anniversary. Fifth of April, 2004. Goodness me. We started working together. Very vintage. It was a different time. And this. We started working together. Very vintage. It was a different time.

And this was pre-Megan. You weren't even on the scene. Pre-Pregon. Pre-Gan. It was the Pre-Gan era. It was the Pre-Gonian era. Pre-Gonian. It was a different time.

That sounds so flash. Yeah. Different sorts of dinosaurs. Yes. And so today, because it is our anniversary, we have written an acrostic poem for each other.

Now, acrostic poems, Simon Bridgers is a big fan of acrostic poems. I'm a big fan of acrostic poems. It's where you write the word down the side. Vaughan.

Like Vaughan and then one letter is each, you have to start with that letter. Yes. You know. Yeah, that's how that works.

Vaughan's got more letters than Fletch does. I know, so I've had more work to do. Standard. So classic Vaughan getting out of letters than Fletch does. I know, so I've had more work to do. Standard. So classic Vaughan getting out of work already with his acrostic poem about me. And so we will give each other an acrostic poem.

I'm looking forward to this. Do we have some poem music? Aura Smith said I want to miss a thing. Oh, this is beautiful. Well, it's, you know, it's a real... You've spent 15 years together. It's longer than many relationships. Many marriages.

When we started working together, it was closer to the Armageddon movie coming out than it is now to when we started working together. Okay, don't say things like that. I always do things like this and my wife hates it too. I'm like, if you take how long it was till then and then go back again, that space... She's like, stop doing that.

Okay, who's going first? I think Flick should go first. V. Vaughan, this is my acrostic poem. Vitriolic. What does that mean? Filled with criticism. I'll take it.

You're always ready to give an opinion. Correct. Constructive or not. Yeah, and it keeps me real. You know, you're my Simon Cowell. Yeah, thanks. Who are you, Paula Abdul? Yes, you are my Paula Abdul.

I've said it before, even without the Simon. You'll never let me get ahead of myself, and you'll always tell me I'm terrible at singing, and I appreciate it. Well, it's like Paula Abdul once said, straight up now, baby, won't you tell? No. I can't remember. A, audibly challenged. Well, it's like Paula Abdul once said, straight up now, baby, won't you tell? No.

A, audibly challenged. Audibly challenged. You're very loud. Oh, thank you. And a little bit deaf at the moment. Yeah, that's coming right though. That's getting better every day. Yeah, because it just went, didn't it, one of your ears?

Yeah, part of the nerve inflammation. U, the next letter in my acrostic poem for Vaughan. Untidy handwriting. I'll take it. It's not. I really have to concentrate if I want to do nice handwriting. You really have to concentrate. This is your anniversary, Fletch.

They're kind of leaning towards not favourable towards Vaughan. Or are these just things you know about him after 15 years? No, but it's things that you know. I thought this was the idea. You choose a letter and then what does it remind you of them? Oh, okay. Is that not how

on a classic... I mean, it's been majority negative so far. But this is like your grandparents, you know. You're like, why are they still married? Yeah, right.

Well, they just gave up. They just make it work. G, goat lover. You love your goats. I do love my goats. And our relationship started with a goat It did That's right

And now I love goats again You hitchhiked up the country with a goat People went to give you rides It was a different time back then, wasn't it? Yeah You couldn't do that now on the radio? No No

By the way, you did feed your goats last night And there were grapes in there You need to calm down No, but in the defence of my Because a few people called me out for feeding my goats grapes. But you know when you get to the end of a bag of grapes and the ones that have had the other grapes sitting on them, they get soft and bruised on the bottom?

Because they're in the juice of the other grapes. Yeah, and they get pushed down. Okay, one percenter. I'm not eating those grapes. I don't work hard to eat the mushy grapes. Like, try them out and feed them to the peasants as raisins, you know? Right, okay. Do you work hard?

You damn right. He doesn't. H, next on my list. Hard work. Hot sauce. You love hot sauce. That is a guarantee. Megan's already told me when I go to her cafe, I'm not allowed to say,

do you have any hot sauce? Because she's like, the food's good enough for that additional sauce. It is. But is it spicy enough? No. Next on my crostoc poem for Vaughan, A, anal expulsions. You fart terribly and a lot.

And that's why we have the Britney Spears perfume. Both editions of the Britney spray. Yeah. Just for a bit of variety. I'm actually, I thought you were going to be cheeky and not put the A in. Oh, because a lot of people spell N.

No, I know how to spell your name. Good, that's nice. Last on the Vaughan acrostic poem, N, never on time. I am, I'm on Vaughan time. That's not a time, Vaughan. There's Greenwich Mean Time. There's Pacific Time.

No, but I'm on Chatham Islands time. I'm like, it's the same, but it's a bit different. It's not. I'm just a a bit different. It's not. I'm just a little bit there. That's my acrostic poem for Vaughan. Okay, that's nice. That's done.

Was that nice? Did you like that? Yep, I did. This is my acrostic poem for Fletch. Okay. Happy anniversary, too. Happy anniversary. Happy, thank you.

F, frugal, flirtatious, fruit-fed, and flatulent. You can't do that many. You've just got to choose one. I thought that was the idea of an acrostic poem. You just chose one. This is why this relationship works, because one of us cares. One of you guys is. He's frugal, financially frugal.

He's very flirtatious. I've seen it. Am I? He's fruit fed. Like he literally brings a giant bag of fruit every day to work

and thus is flatulent. I take the blame a lot for what you've flatulentised. Al. Loud, lavish laugh.

It's loud and it's very lavish. Yeah, lavish. Thank you. Yes, it is lavish. You've done lots

for my acrostic poem. Yeah. Okay. Put a bit of effort into the crystal after all. Yeah. A for the acrostic poem, empathetic. I know. I know.

Oh, my God. It was a joke. I'm glad. I'm glad. Okay, thanks. Empathetic, exotic. Yep. Because people, sometimes after summer, people will say to me,

what's Fletch got in him? And I'll say, you know, that's not an appropriate way to ask. Yeah. In modern times, you don't just ask that. Yeah. What's Fletch got in him? Well, God knows. What time of day is it?

A empathetic, exotic. I'm throwing a mandarin at you. Well, that's what I mean. It could possibly be mandarin because he eats a lot of those in the morning. And effervescent. Effervescent. Thank you. Because you bubble if you put it in water?

Yeah, I'm like a barocca. Yeah, you are. You make weeds go bright. T in the acrostic poem. Talkative, tenacious and thin. Thank you. You're most welcome. I forgot on all the other bad ones.

Thank you. Oh my God, do you think so? Oh my God, thank you. Oh my God, thank you. Thank you. C in the acrostic poem that spells out Fletch is charitable. Curvaceous. He just called you thin.

You just called me thin. I didn't know if you'd like thin. Some people like curvaceous. No. But curvaceous He just called you thin You just called me thin I didn't know if you'd like thin Some people like curvaceous No But curvaceous calves You didn't let me finish Thin, oh yeah Thin but curvaceous calves

Thank you Great calf muscles Thank you I've always said it And cryptic Because no one can quite work out What's happening here Duh, of course

You're like a cryptic crossword But I spell the name of a celebrity sometimes Yeah, yeah, yeah And nannies somehow know how to work you I'm not Like a cryptic crossword. But I spell the name of a celebrity sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And nannies somehow know how to work here. I'm not. Okay. And H.

Holistic. Because you brew your own kombucha. Yeah, that's true. That doesn't make me holistic, does it? Hedonistic. Yep. Let's just say you can only go to South America so many times before. Oh my God, Vaughan.

And hypnotic. Thank you. Is that good? I don't know. Sometimes you just look at people and they'll follow you home. Thank you, Vaughan. Thank you. That's my classic part.

I'm in trouble, aren't I? You are in trouble. You know, it's good after... You're in a party and then it's a... It's good after 15 years you know that lock born. Yeah. On the ride home from your party, you're going to get told off. I'm like, oh no. You just go if you want, I'll catch another cat.

Fact of the day. Tim Tim. Tim. No, not Tim. He's not called Tim Tim. He's called Tim Gal. Tim Gal. That's his name.

He sent this in. Found this very, in fact, there's a really cool photo to go with this. I mean, that's pointless on the radio. This would be good if it was like the AM show but then I'd have to be Duncan Garner and I don't really want to. So yeah. I don't like Duncan or that other one.

The cricket one, yeah. Yeah, he yells and he's angry. So this came in from Tim and this is the fact of the day from Tim. The kilogram is the only standard of measurement still defined by an actual physical object.

Okay. So this is an actual object that defines exactly what a kilogram weighs. Now I thought this is ultra specific though because I was always like a litre of water is a kilogram. It's part of the metric system, isn't it? A litre of water that weighs a kilogram. But then is that always true?

But then it depends what's in the water, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Because that would change the weight. If you dissolved something in the water, is it sea level? Yeah, I don't know. Ah, so the kilogram is defined by an actual physical object. It's a platinum alloy cylinder known as Legrand K, which

is kept in a locked vault in Paris. It requires three keys to access it, one of which must be outside France all the time, unless it's only accessed once every 40 years. What, to check that it's still a KG? No, it will always be a KG. It's to check what we're calling a KG is still a KG by this, because, you know, if everybody's out by just a teeny, tiny, teeny, tiny bit,

it could end up being. Then what about all the scales that we've got? How do we check all of them? These are very, this is ultra accurate. This is like a little bit more than one decimal point on the scales. Okay. Yeah. Because, you know, sometimes if you weigh yourself at the gym after a weekend,

you're like, no, these are out. These are out. I'm wearing my shoes. Oh, I have my phone in my pocket. I'm going to take my jewellery off. Yeah, take two off. Le Grand K doesn't take off its shoes and find a tile surface to put the scales on before it weighs itself. Okay.

Now, it's the only surviving item used to measure because there used to be the yardstick. Now, that was a stick that was exactly a yard. Right. Which is an old measurement. We don't really use it anymore. But that was kept at the Palace of Westminster until it was destroyed in a fire in 1838. So after that, Le Grand Cay was the only physical object

that remains. Now, you obviously can't touch it because if you touch it, something could go off your hands and get stuck to it. And then it's not a KG. No, it'd be slightly more. And then you clean it, you might wipe, your hands and get stuck to it, and then they'll clean it. And then it's not a KG. No, it'd be slightly more. And then you clean it, it might wipe, it might dissolve it a little bit. Yeah.

So it is only accessed once every 40 years. Now, at the end of last year, apparently the Americans weren't having it, and they wanted their very own. So they found out the exact measurement of a kilogram from the last time it was accessed and made their own version of Le Grand Cay so they can hold on to it. Probably put a bit more on it to make it bigger.

But look, this is how it's kept. I actually saw one of these at your house yesterday. You're in your bathroom. You've got that glass thing that goes over your candle. What are those called? It's the same thing. There's a big one over the flower and the beauty and the beast. Yeah. What are those called? It's the same thing. There's a big one over the flower and the beauty and the beast. Does it have a fancy name?

Belldome. Belldome or a dome. It's kept under two different. Oh, it is two. It's quite a cool little situation. And that's kept in a vault that takes three keys to access. So it's very important to the fridge. Well, you don't need three keys to access my candle.

No. Coconut, vanilla or whatever it is. Well, you do. You need to get in the bottom door and then the door and then your French. Well, you don't need three keys to access my candle. No. Coconut, vanilla, or whatever it is. Well, you do. You need to get in the bottom door, and then the door, and then your door. Oh, yeah. You do need three swipes. Yeah, three swipes or keys to get in there. So today's fact of the day is there's only one physical object

that still defines an exact weight, and it is Le Grand Cay in Paris. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Gerard and Rachel have just read to me. Gerard or Gerard? Gerard, J have just recently. Gerard or Gerard?

Gerard. J-A-R-R-E-D. That's Gerard. That's Gerard. Yeah. You were saying Gerard. Gerard. G-E-R-A-R-D.

Gerard. Gerard. It's a different name. Gerard. I don't know. It's just how Australians speak, isn't it? I don't know. Wait, Gerard or Gerard?

Gerard. Gerard. Gerard. Gerard. Gerard. Anyway. Gerard. A man called Sam. It man called j-a-r-r-o-d i mean however you spell it it's an awful name why do you hate jared the name jared just calm down there's like carrots oh my god okay vaughn smells like oh yeah i know it's fun to say and anybody can say it some would say vaughn is right out there with Jared as a name.

Out. Out. On our 15th anniversary notice. Well, a man called Sam decided he needed a new cutlery set. So he went to Myer, which is a department store

in Australia. Like Farmers. Like Farmers, just like Farmers. Yeah, so he got this Maxwell and Williams cutlery set. Oh, nice. I've had some Maxwell

and Williams cutlery. It's very nice. It's ooh-la-la. I think it's just from farmers, isn't it? Yeah, but it's good stuff. Yeah, so it's good, eh? Because, you know, sometimes you get cutlery, like, you know, when you're flatting and it goes rusty.

And you're like, I didn't think it was supposed to do that. I'm sure it said stainless steel. Yeah. You get a little scrub with the steelo. It's good for another few weeks and then it goes rusty again. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, well, it's good cutlery.

So he got it home and I guess he was going to put it in the cutlery drawer and then it goes rusty again. I don't know. Anyway, well, it's good cutlery. So he got it home and I guess he was going to put it in the cutlery drawer and wash it first and that's when he noticed the note to Jared and Rachel. A card inside the cutlery box that said to Jared and Rachel, congratulations on your engagement. We're so happy for both of you

and wish you a lifetime of happiness. May the coming months be relatively stress free in the leadup to the wedding. Who are we kidding? Lol. So I don't know why they're getting this before. Maybe it's engagement present. Engagement present.

So it mustn't have been the wedding gift. So it turns out that this couple must have had a registry. Or had a return card for the gift, and they took it back to Maya completely unused. In fact, they didn't even open the box, and nobody at the store did either because the card was inside the box. Oh, no.

So they have been busted because this guy went online and went on a local radio station called Hot Tomato on the Gold Coast and relayed the hilarious... That Jaredan... Yeah, they returned their gift, their engagement gift. But that's okay because they might have got two sets. Yeah. Yeah.

But I know, but it's still embarrassing, isn't it? Yeah, but at the same time, it's not like we don't know the full story. Yeah, that's kind of a dick move on the person who bought the cutlery, exposing them. Don't you think? Yeah, but it's a dick move taking. But then, like, I wouldn person who bought the cutlery, exposing them. Don't you think? Yeah, but it's a dick move taking. But then, like, I wouldn't buy someone a cutlery set unless I'd asked them, or there is a register. Oh, yeah, because that's right.

On a register, when you buy one, it gets wiped off the register, so there's not a double up. There's no double ups. But maybe somebody just saw the register and was like, oh, I'll get them a cutlery set, but I'm going to get it from somewhere else because I can get a discount or check. Well, maybe there was something they needed more with that money. Do you have a gift register for an engagement party?

Nah. Not traditionally. Nah, not traditionally right? Unless it was like getting in early on the wedding registry. Yeah.

Hence why the card said a few months away. Weird though eh? Weird. Wow okay. So yeah I don't know if the couple have come forward.

You wouldn't. No. But this has gone viral in Australia, so without a doubt they've heard about it. And they know that their gift was returned. Ouch. Unused completely. A little bit ouchy, but at the same time. That's why it's better to get cash, isn't it?

Yeah. Like you did a honeymoon fund, didn't you? Way better. Way better idea. Yeah, way better idea. That is Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast,

why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, live here. ZM.