ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 09 2019

Episode Date: April 8, 2019

Vaughan had a Goat mystery yesterday, turf wars and what did you stand on at night?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thank you, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Warner Megan. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Kia ora. Tēnā koe. Hello to one. Tēnā koutou. Hello to two. Tēnā koutou. Hello to all. Haro mai everyone. That's what my daughter told me yesterday. Oh, good stuff. My four-year-old. I was pretty stoked, yeah.

Where's my, what is it? Oh, yeah, I've got it in my pocket. Is that what you call them? Loon bands. I was thinking of a more primetime presentation. Oh, okay. Indie made Fletch a loon band. I got a message last night that I was being made a loon.

She wants to make. A loon. Did you see that I commented? I was like, that's so cute. Heart eyes. No, no, she wants to know everybody's favourite colours. Because then she'll make everybody a loon band. And she called them the radio show friendship bracelets.

Oh, my God. Which is pretty much like Captain Planet. When you think about it. That actually looks super cute on you. Thank you. And you know about it. Fletcher's your account. That actually looks super cute on you. Thank you. And you know what? That was her. She's, I don't want to say she's advanced, but she is.

She lined up the colours so it looks like they kind of morph. Yeah, look at that. They fade into each other. Yeah, into each other. And then she did the three band fishtail loom so that it would look like they gradually turned into each other rather than just colour to colour to colour. So is this the latest craze? God.

What they're like rubber bands. Yesterday when I picked her up from school, there was just like loom band kits everywhere. They're like little wee tiny rubber bands. It's probably not good for the ocean. Well, you don't throw it in the ocean. Oh. Because I said to her, oh, people won't like this because they end up in the ocean. She's like, well, don't throw it in the ocean.

My God, should she just solve all our problems? Yeah. Why would someone throw up in the ocean she's like well don't throw it in the ocean she just solved all our problems yeah well why would someone throw it in the water i was like oh i don't know i never threw plastic shopping bags in the ocean but apparently they ended up in wales true yeah that's true well they pull up away a humpback whale and its stomach's full of loom bands yeah we'll know where to look uh the top six is coming up. Yeah, at the moment, Waiheke Island has no phone, landline, and no internet. Someone's cut the cable.

The cable's broken. Someone puts something through the cable. Not sure how that works. They love it over there in Waiheke, being cut off, don't they?

No, you're thinking of Great Barrier Island. Waiheke's where you move when you pretend you want to be cut off, but you definitely don't want to be cut off. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughn and Megan pick one of the following three stories. Headline one, Easter egg contains surprise. Headline two, eco prison wins award. I just put that in because I thought it was funny there's an eco prison. Eco prison? Yeah.

Do you know anything more about this eco prison? They should all be eco. Wow, you're not wrong. What, I poop it in a hole? And then burying it. That's where you start. That's where you start.

Compost, yeah. Hold on. It's a high security remand prison. Of course it is. Those Nordic countries always have it going on. Including a 1,100-square-metre green roof made of plants, a ventilation system that recycles heat from the air, and a waste disposal room with storage for eight categories of waste.

Insulating glass. God, it's nicer than a rest home. It actually looks really nice too. Don't know why, but I always compare prisons to rest homes. Yeah. Well, you are pretty much locked in. One you've got a chance of getting out of in 8-10 years. The other one. Have you seen some of the oldies in those

rest home vans? They do look like chub security prison transfer vans. Yeah. Aww. That's so sad. Except the only thing that those prisoners and trans that are going to murder is their pills every morning. Get at me. Keep me alive.

Headline three, family's dog park warning. So you've really, the only two stories you've got left, Easter egg contains surprise or family's dog park warning. Dog park warning. Family's dog park warning. Please. You want that one? Yes, please.

Okay. We go to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where a routine trip to a local dog park turned into anything but routine for one Albuquerque family when their 10-year-old dog... Yeah. ...which looks like a... I don't know.

What kind of dog is that, Megan? A silly little dog. Black one. A black one. Oh, it's like a black sh, Megan? A silly little dog. Black one. A black one. Oh, it's like a black shaggy. I'm not sure. Well, anyway, they took their dog to the dog park. It started acting strange.

And they were like, well, something's up. We better take this to the vet. Yeah. And that's when it tested positive for drugs. What kind of drugs? It sniffed out some drugs at the dog park and yummed them up, did it? Well, yeah, apparently.

So they started noticing something was off when the dog vomited on the floor. She was moving and twitching and looking up as though she was seeing something and couldn't say, stay still. So they took them to the emergency vet and they did not expect what happened next. The vet came back and said, your dog has tested positive for amphetamine, methamphetamine and molly.

Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. And apparently the vet said they see this in the ER all the time. Because I'm assuming people have pets. They leave their drugs on the table or whatever. Yeah. Or the dogs find them somehow, as dogs do, and eat them. Apparently the vet said they see a bit of marijuana ingestion,

which is much more common. That would, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, dogs eat anything, and if they're, like, in baking, they'd love it. Yeah. But apparently in Albuquerque, New Mexico, is that where Breaking Bad was filmed? Yeah. It was, wasn't it?

Yeah, apparently they see that in Albuquerque quite a bit. Sadly. Yeah. Apparently they don't know how it happened in the dog park. Maybe someone dropped something. Someone dropped it in the dog park. But yeah, that's where it happened.

So yeah, they're warning now to people taking their dogs to dog parks. Oh, but you wonder, that's the idea of a dog park. You leave it off the lead, don't you? And they just go for it. Yeah. Leo always tries to hunt the other dogs at the dog park. You've got to the lead, don't you? And they just go for it. Yeah. Leo always tries to hunt

the other dogs at the dog park. You've got to be very vigilant. Is that embarrassing? Yes, it is. But is he muted? He's quite small, yeah. Okay. But he's obviously

still got the urge. It's a dominance thing though, right? Because he's a little fella. Yeah. Oh, I think he's got little dog syndrome because he has a big black poodle and he was trying really hard.

He's way bigger than you. He's like, g'day love. We're all the same size lying down. Yeah, because what if he sees like a big Labrador? He still tries. What does he need, a ladder? Yeah, he just like kind of tries to climb on. Yeah.

I don't know what to do about it. Just get some leg. Should I take like a water bottle and spray him? Give him a spray. Give him a spritz. Cool down, mate. It's always your little mate that's a bit horned up, though, isn't it? Is that?

I don't know. No, no. You think of like strappy-do like from the Scooby-Doo thing. It's always like the little guy is always like jacked up to prove who he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're a real hot stuff because you're a purebred Labrador, eh? Well, I'm a little mutt and I'll give you one.

Eh? Oh, yeah, I got no balls so there'll be no offspring. But do you know, I'll still give you a good rubby hump. Come here. It's always been my nightmare that I'd get turned away

from a country at the border for something. I don't know. Just always get... Why would you? You don't have a criminal record. But for something. I don't know. Just always get... Why would you? You don't have a criminal record. But you know, I just get scared when there's a policeman driving behind you.

I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. When you go through customs, you're like, oh my God, oh my God. Even at banks, I'm like, where's the cameras? Oh my God, they're looking at me. I don't know. And then I obviously look real... You look so paranoid.

So I look real paranoid and then someone's going to tap me on the shoulder just because I look like I'm freaking out. Very paranoid. Yeah. I get like that at customs. I'm like stand straight up and down, smile, don't like act weird. I know what they say like do you have any throat or anything to declare

and you're like no. Not today. Yeah, but you're just like. There was a banana a couple of weeks ago. The dog's just looking at me. Yeah. The dog just looks at everybody. He knows that I ate a banana once.

There was a teenage girl, and this has happened to her. She was going to Bali, and she didn't do anything. I'm imagining she's Australian. Yes. She's a teenage girl going to Bali. She is. She's from Melbourne. And she went to Bali.

She went to customs. And I don't know if she was nervous or not, but it wasn't anything she'd done wrong, but she was blocked for entering. She'd turn around and go home because there was a little tear in her passport. It was a tiny little tear, and they said it was too damaged

and she had to spend 11 hours overnight at the airport and then get the next flight home. She was not allowed to enter. I've heard of this happening. Really? Where like people might, their passport might get water damaged. Yeah. Or the pages tear. Excessively

crinkled. Yeah. But if they can still because it's all got the chip in it right? If the chip's still working and you can still see the details fine, surely that's enough. So the small tear was along the spine next to the photo page. Oh, right. But to the Australian ones, you know how our photo page has the,

it's like a hard plastic thing? Yeah. Is that the same as theirs? Oh, I don't know how the Australian passport looks. Not too sure. Because if we had. Because the UK one that I've got as well doesn't have that hard page.

Doesn't it? Like we have. Right. But that might be a new thing. Oh, the Australian passport's got its own Wikipedia page. Okay. Physical appearance,

identity information page. Okay, so it's not. Oh, okay. It's not like ours. It's like our old ones were. Right. Ours are way better than theirs. Ours are way better than theirs. Ours are way so much better than yours.

Our old ones, your photo was the back page or the front page? Yes, it was on there and then it was melded in. So if that's torn, they can easily say, well, you could have forged this or it could be. Yeah, right. Get better passports, Australia. It still does have a chip in it, though. How do they get the chip in that?

It must be inside the paper. Right. A thick cover. It's a biometric chip. It's embedded that stores the owner's digitised photograph. So you think that

it'd show that the photograph name, sex, date of birth, nationality, passport number and passport expiry details. Well, I mean, it's a warning if you are travelling to Bali.

Yeah, so next time, like, check not only that it's got enough on the expiry, but also if there's any tears or anything. I'll tell you what, baby boomers love to wrap their plastic, their suitcase in plastic when they go to Bali too. Oh, well, you can't be too careful. Put in, like, a big bound passport cover thingy. Yeah. Never forget Chappelle Corby.

Never forget Chappelle. Never forget. Never forget Chappelle Corby. Never forget Chappelle. Never forget. Never forget. This is just reminding me, I think my passport's expired. Or it's about to. Right. Well, are you going somewhere else? You should know this.

Well, no, because, you know, like, it's ridiculous to me you can have a passport that expires in September, but you can't travel when there's less than six months on it. So what's the point of even having it? Yeah, you can go to Aussie. Right. Up until it expires. But nowhere else, right? Nowhere else, no.

That's ridiculous. But that does remind me I need to get a new one. And I'd rather think and take care of it now than two weeks out and need to pay twice as much for an emergency one. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. So I said before there was a new appliance that people were getting on board with. And I thought, Megan, this sounds like something you'd be into. It is called a beauty fridge.

And it's basically a mini fridge for your bathroom where you keep beauty products that need to be refrigerated. Oh, like your masks and stuff. Yeah. I didn't know that they needed to be kept cool. Looking at that picture, it looks like, you know, those novelty USB plug-in fridges. Yeah, like it's a teeny, teeny, teeny fridge. For like one Coke or something. Or a couple of cans of Coke.

Like real tiny. Like a desk fridge. I could probably put one of those under my cabinet in my bathroom. Because I have lots of things. I'm obsessed with face masks. And a lot of them say that they're supposed to be refrigerated.

But you're like, meh. And then you put them on your face one day and you're like, that smells a bit rancid. I'm going to wash that off. Because don't a lot of them have like... Natural ingredients and stuff. I've got like a honey one at the moment. Avocados.

There's avocados. Oh, okay. But if you don't refrigerate them, I guess they go off just like any normal food would. Right. Yeah. So a little wee bathroom fridge could be the answer. But are people embracing this or are they saying like, because I don't want people to call me over the top and unnecessary.

Well, beauty people are all about it. You could probably buy one on AliExpress for like 20 bucks, I reckon. Yeah, and just wait two months for it to come. But that's all right. You've done your whole life without one. That's true. What's another two months? Yeah.

How much of a rush are you in? This is a silly question because I don't know, but like sometimes my lip balm will go a bit soft in summer. But do makeups and stuff go like funny, like lipsticks in summer? You want to put your makeup, it's more like beauty products. Like your,

you can put your eye cream in the fridge and then when you put it on your face, it's nice and cool. Oh, that is nice. Okay, so here's a mini fridge. Oh, that is nice. It stops the puffiness. Okay, so here's a mini fridge. This was originally designed for a car. Okay.

You can plug it in at the wall or into a cigarette lighter on a car. $35 US for that one. There's another one, but this is tiny. That fits like one can of Coke, so that's not going to be enough. That's not going to be big enough. There's just no way I'm getting this past my husband. For some reason, I'm on Russian AliExpress. Oh, really? RU's at the front.

And it's all in Russian. I know. I mean, I can't explain AliExpress at the best of times. What did you get delivered yesterday that you had to explain to Mr. Toyboy? No, it hasn't been delivered yet. Remember? What was it? Remember those sunglasses that I got

a meal to get? Oh yeah, yeah. I got a meal to get them for me from London because they were cheap. That was a great buy. I don't know why I'm whispering but I've yet to tell him that I purchased those. This is a good one. This is the best little fridge I've found. So the bottom shelf

can fit like maybe two cans of coke beside each other and then something in front of it, depth wise. They're using fake grapes in this example. And then upstairs

can store two lemons and a Kit Kat. Oh, that's good. And then there's a little thing in the door where you could maybe put a morrow bar. Yuck.

I don't know why I said morrow bar. Standing up, pushed in, beside each other. You could maybe fit two of them. Okay.

So that's like, that'd be good for your face masks. I feel like it's going to get commandeered by treats. I'll just go in there and there'll be food that, you know, like my husband's put in there. Actually, that's also a great idea. You could hide chocolate under there. Get two little treat fridges. Yeah.

Put it in reaching distance of the bath. Yeah. Oh, good stuff. My wife's like, why are you spending a lot of time in the ceiling? What's up there? I'm like, not a treat fridge. Definitely not a treat fridge.

From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Yes, hello and welcome to today's Top Six. The Top Six things to do on Waiheke Island when there's no internet or landline telephone.

This cable's been buggerised, hasn't it? It's been... So there's an anchored cable that runs between... Where does it leave mainland? It leaves... So I've just been reading up about it. It goes from Waiheke to Howick. It's 1.5km long.

Oh, OK, so that must be the shortest area there. But it's become disrupted, they reckon, because boat anchors might drag across it. Well, that's what they say is the common cause of the cable breaks. Yeah. So if you tried to pull your anchor in on your boat the other day and it was quite hard, and then there was like a twang, and then it really came easy, just keep that to yourself.

And then you heard, we've got no Netflix. Ah, what happened to the Wi-Fi? That was you. That was you. That was you. So why hack you without it? Because of that line, whatever's happened to that line. So the top six things to do on Waiheke Island when there's no internet or landline telephone.

Number six, pick up the phone every five minutes to see if it's working yet and say, it's not working yet to everybody and then go and have a salve blanc at the local vineyard. A salve blanc. A salve blanc at the local vineyard. A salve blanc. A salve blanc at the local vineyard. Lovely selection.

Sauvignon blancs on the island. Number five on the list of the top six things that are on wahake when there's no internet or landline

are curse the fact that you can't send a fax. Faxes. Nobody's doing faxes anymore. Well, actually no, they are because ages ago at the doctor they were like, actually, no, they are because ages ago at the doctor

they were like, oh, we can send this to the chemist, the pharmacy. Yeah, fax it over. I was like, what? Weird. Well, there'll be...

Yeah. Weird. See, now if you go into the doctor to get it, they just fax it over. But of course, there's a little fee, of course.

Of course, there's a fax fee. A little fee, a little fee. What, are they dumb? Do they think we're dumb and the faxes cost money? It's a local call.

Yeah, I know. It doesn't cost any money if it was a local call. But then, of course, curse the fact you can't send a fax and then go and have a lovely rosé at the local vineyard. Pop on down to a local vineyard and have a lovely, crisp... You pretty much have to pay with cash. Rosé. If the EFTPOS...

Oh, yeah. Is EFTPOS on the internet, Megan? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boom. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boom. Yeah, yeah. People might have to get out the old 4G ones. Yeah.

Do they do a tab for locals? Oh, yeah. Just put it on my tab. Half of them probably never pay it. Number four on the list of the top six things to do with no internet or landline on Waiheke Island. Remember that you've got no landline anyway because it's not 1994.

And then go and have a Pinot Grisio at the local vineyard. Just naming all the wines you like. Yeah, pretty much. Lovely Pinot Grisio though. After that cold snap gets a little bit warm again, what are you going to put in your glass? Pinot Grisio.

Lovely. Farewell summer. Churn churn with a Pinot Grisio. Number three on the list of the top six things to do on Why Hack You With No Internet or Landline. Spend ages on your cell phone trying to figure out why your other phone isn't working. Then miss your ferry. So you just go to the local vineyard and have a lovely pinot noir. Lovely pinot. Nothing welcomes in winter like that.

I mean, there's a wine for every season you can justify your drinking wherever you like lovely lovely peanut number two on the

list the top six things that are on Waiheke Island when there's no internet or landline say you remember the days when Waiheke never had

phone or power or internet and say those were the good old days and how your original Waiheke Island family

even though your parents just bought a quarter acre section there ten years ago and then go to the local vineyard and get yourself a lovely glass of Riesling. You need a sweet treat.

You need a sweet treat after putting up that fake fight about being one of the original families. And the number one thing to do on Waiheke Island when there's no internet or landline, try your very best not to complain about it on Facebook because you told all your friends you were moving to Waiheke Island when there's no internet or landline. Try your very best not to complain about it on Facebook because you told all your friends you were moving to Waiheke Island to get away from the commercial, always

contactable world of mainland Auckland. It was time to be more about you and the family. And then ignore the family and go up to the local vineyard and have yourself a lovely glass of room temperature chardonnay. Don't chill it. What are you doing that for?

Yuck. That is today's top six. Last night on the group chat, there was a, oh, hey guys, and it was from Intunanya and you know when she's saying that. She's got goss. She's got something.

She's just spilled the tea. But then it wasn't the tea. There was a photo that followed and it said she had a new follower on Instagram. We cross live now to the senior correspondent for Internanya's Instagram, Internanya. Thanks. Who followed you on the gram? Only Max Key. Guys, and you know what's cool?

I wasn't even following him. So now there's a big blue follow back Button ready to press But I'm holding back You're playing hard to get Why is he following you Don't say that Obviously because he wants some hot content And that's what he's going to get

Which account Are you talking your personal or your Henny's noms Personal he doesn't seem to have a vested interest In what I eat but that's what he's going to get. Is he, which account? Are you talking your personal or your henny's noms? Personal. He doesn't seem to have a vested interest in what I eat, but that's okay. Now, because I hadn't followed him, so I've just been checking it out this morning and he's got some good stuff.

Like on his story this morning, he's at the casino and he says pre-flight slots, yes or no. So I voted no because that's a bit irresponsible for a flight. That's a whack crazy thing about Las Vegas. I think he has great stories because I follow him. I unfollowed him yesterday to check if he followed me. He doesn't follow me.

Have you ever done that? Have you done that? So you unfollow him to see if there's a follow back? Yeah, see if it says follow back. Oh no, I've never done that. But then what, do you follow him back again? Yeah, because he's got good stuff. But then it comes up saying that you followed him.

Nah, because you had that turned off, won't he? Because he's got lots of followers. I'm going to try this on some of the Victoria's Secret models I follow. Unfollow them. Oh, what? They don't follow me back. And then I'll get really shitty with them and not follow them again. I mean, why not?

Don't they love goat content? I've got a lot of goat content at the moment. Very goat heavy on you. Very goat heavy on the gram at present. So are you going to press follow back? Do you think I should have? I reckon you're now. Why did he follow you?

I don't know. My boyfriend's convinced it's a bot and he wants to put 20 bucks on the inner wake he'll unfollow me again. Oh, so he's following you to... He's got follow bots. Well, if I follow back, it's hook, line, sinker, isn't it? Wait a minute, what's a follow bot?

So the bots follow lots of people so that you follow them back and then they unfollow, but you've gained lots of followers. Because most people don't check. Come on, Vaughn. Get with the gram game. Get off your goats and get on the gram. I'm putting the goats on the gram. No, but that's mean.

We're literally saying the only reason he could possibly be following you is because it's a bot. He might like my sweet, sweet content. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You're about the same age. You're within the same age and he's on his OE.

Maybe he just wants an anchor to back home. That's true. Well, he did put on his last post on his bucket list he wants to get with a Victoria's Secret model but he hasn't talked to a member of the opposite sex yet. So maybe he's following members of the opposite sex to see. But I've got a boyfriend and I post about him so he would know that.

Sorry, Max. Sorry, unavailable. Maybe it's a challenge for him though. I'm just waiting for a DM slide in though. I'm sure it's only challenge for him though I'm just waiting for For a DM slide in though I'm sure it's only a matter of time I mean it's I mean what he followed me 17 hours ago

So he's playing long game But that's alright Yeah but you are too Because you're not following him back He can't send you He might have slipped into your requests Because you're not following him back Maybe there's a DM waiting

He's definitely got a bot No maybe It's a bot isn't it Maybe it's a glitch though That the DM hasn't come through yet But I'm sure Maybe there's a DM waiting. He's definitely got a bot. No, maybe it's a glitch though that the DM hasn't come through yet. But I'm sure. Maybe he's in bad coverage. Yeah. That'll be it. How many people on his followers list are you down? Um, oh god.

Hang on. What do you mean? If you click on his thing If he's clicking if it's a bot That's chronological. So if there's heaps of people before he added, you added. Well, he's following four and a half thousand people. So he's casting the net pretty wide. He's got a follow bot. I'm, oh yeah.

Oh, he follows lots of, oh. Guys, I don't think Max Key wants me for my good heart and my good looks, you know. I think he just wants me for my follow. Actually. All right. Okay. So what are you going to do? You're going to follow him back?

Do you have a study? Should I? Should I follow do you're going to follow him back should I should I follow him back oh follow him back he's a lovely guy he is a lovely guy

his videos are quite lols if he doesn't DM me then I'll unfollow him follow him back again

just to be like hello I'm still here yeah yeah poke poke yeah maybe send a couple of

thumbs ups maybe I could do the wave emoji that's cool yeah okay hey hey hey alright Maybe send a couple of thumbs ups. Maybe I could do the wave emoji. That's cool. Yeah. Okay. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. All right. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Now, a little bit of background to what we're about to tell. Caitlin does a podcast, producer Caitlin does a podcast with Gracie, Stuart and Brodie Cain. Gracie Taylor. Gracie. What do I always call her? I don't know who Gracie Stuart is Brodie Cain. Gracie Taylor. I don't know who Gracie Stewart is.

Neither do I. Al Stewart's daughter? Al Stewart. No, there is a Gracie Stewart. Gracie Taylor. Gracie Taylor. Did she used to be Gracie Stewart? No.

Did she get married to someone? No. Taylor? Okay. So you do a podcast called Girls on Top. Yes.

And recently you got a sponsor for the podcast. Yeah. That is Bonds. Yep, Bonds Intimately. Very exciting for us because we've only been going for a little while and... It's a deal to get a sponsorship on a podcast. Can I sponsor

Vaughan and I for something? Because I need new undies. This range is just for females. Excuse me. I'm not against... You're like, Vaughan and I. Hello! You look at me. You don't strike me as a person that's running old undies. Oh my God, thank you. It's a compliment, Megan.

It's a compliment. Like Vaughn and I, we will probably wear ours till I'm starting to get holes. Oh, nasty. Those jockey ones you got given four years ago? Yeah, those are still going strong.

It's the jockey ones I got given eight years ago that are starting to raise a couple of eyebrows. Anyway, so you got some sponsorship from Bonds. Yeah, and it's cool

because we like to be aligned with this brand because they're all about body positivity. Okay, look, mate, they're not paying to be part of this show. No, no, no.

We don't need to get our hashtag spawns in here. But no, you're right. Okay. So. Well, that's leading on to why I put a picture.

Don't shut down her message, Vaughn. No, no, no. I'm not shutting it down. Okay. That's great. I'll do positivity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no.

I just didn't want them getting too many free mentions. I'm running a business here. Okay. I get a cut. I get a cut. Am I planning to be part of the show? But anyway, last night. I don't get a cut. I should get a cut I get a cut I plan to be part of the show but anyway last night

I don't get a cut you wish I should get a cut is this break about me or about you no sorry I've done that thing again

where I've made it all about myself well no basically I just put a picture of myself up well a couple of pictures last night me and the girls and me and the girls

because I put a picture of myself up in a bra, which is like... Now, behind the scenes, you, like, this was... Obviously, this is out of your normal jurisdiction of social media posts. I don't even wear a bikini. Like, I don't go to the beach.

I wear a full-piece one-suit. A burqa? Are you wearing a burqa? I wear a one-suit to the beach. Full one-piece. For one piece. Yeah, yeah. And so this was like, yeah, just so out of the box. And you were fretting about it even on like, you knew you were posting it yesterday and

you were fretting about it on Friday. Yeah. So yesterday you kept warning everyone, especially the men in your life. I know. You're like, hey, watch out. My nangas are going to be on Instagram later. And my poor boyfriend, I was like,

these are the photos. Is this okay? And he's like, so great. Super proud. Super proud. What did he say? He said,

you look really classy, babe, and you are beautiful. Aww. I've got more points. More points for the boyfriend. You do have a boyfriend. But just the, oh,

I can't even look at the comments. I had to have a car cry last night, guys. Why? I had to, like, get in my car and because I was just too overwhelmed. Like, people were so nice. I just didn't expect to have, you know, because I've got, if you don't know, I've got, like, very big, I'm well endowed

up there. I've got very big boobs and, like, I'm quite self-conscious about them because it's really hard to find nice bra. We've talked about this on the show before. And so just putting them out there was really like people are going to be like

what are you doing? But everyone was so supportive. Very, very nice comments. Are you surprised that everyone was really supportive? No, because I know that I'm surrounded by, like, amazing people, and lots of people that, like, yeah, you guys. No, and I was

so supportive of, like, all of you guys, and Megan just being like, that's my friend. Like, that made me cry. Like, that kind of stuff just is overwhelming, so I haven't had any negativity that I know of yet. Well, no, because Vaughan scrolled through the comments this morning and there is no negative one.

So when you get a moment, you should go through and you should read them all. You should take them in. This is the thing. I don't know if it's just Kiwis, but you don't want to like... Put yourself out there. Look how uncomfortable you are. Or just like, I'm uncomfortable with people saying nice things to me

because I'm like, no, I don't deserve it. Or like, you know, just like, ah. But anyway. Even my cousin, my cousin commented. You've never met my cousin. She commented on it. Or like, you know, just like, ah. But anyway. My cousin commented. You've never met my cousin. She commented on that. What did your cousin say? She said, stunning in capital letters.

Because you know how people you know pop up at the top of comments first. Yeah, there's lots of flames. That's always a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot. Unless it's preempted by I'm going to do this to your house, and then there's the flame. That's not a good one to have. Okay, right.

You know, all very... Well, thanks, guys. Thank you for supporting me. Well, you know, my mum's a naturist. She'd say, if you've got it flaunted, why are you wearing... She always says I'm wearing too much clothes. Yeah, you can just get in your bra and go... Ray Ray knows.

Ray Ray knows. She's like, get it out. Next on the show, apparently New Zealand workers are too scared to leave work early. Well, well, whoops. I'm out. What's wrong with you? I'm not scared. I'll leave at ten past seven.

No, you will not. Get back here. There's been a study done into Kiwis' flexible working hours. Because this, they think, is their next step, right? In the traditional nine-to-fives, Gonskis, your nine-to-five Monday to Friday, you work when you can, makes you more productive. Different people are created to work different sorts of hours.

Like parents might start really early and so they can be there to pick their kids up. Correct. Or do family things at night. Or you might get all your work done as fast as you can. Yep. And if you work maybe a slightly longer Monday to Thursday, then you can have Friday off. Yeah.

As long as you get all your work done. Should it be worry? Should you be worried about how long you're at work for? Well, there's also another thing that they've kind of been putting forward and they call it leaving loudly. So that the flexible officers with flexible working conditions want you to not feel guilty about leaving early. Oh, you like sneak out. Because you've done all your work.

So you say, goodbye, everybody. I mean, you'd probably be better at this. That's how August leaves kindy. You love a say. When we go and pick up August, she's like, hold on, it'll be a minute. Walks out onto the deck. Goodbye, everybody. And everyone turns. So your daughter. They're like, see you, August. She's like, all on, it'll be a minute. Walks out onto the deck. Goodbye, everybody. And everyone turns.

So your daughter. They're like, see you, August. She's like, all right, all right. Like, no, don't make a big deal out of it. She goes out and you're like, goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, August. All right, everybody, calm down. I'm only going home.

Yeah, your daughter. No, 100%. So it's not very Kiwi, is it? No, and also if you go out there and you're like, I'm leaving everyone. You're worried that everyone will be like, what time is it? Did they do anything?

Bloody typical Tracy leaving at three. Yeah. But then there's also the worry that next time you go for your pay review, someone's going to be like, well, you have been leaving early. Yeah, they don't know how much work you're doing anywhere else and they don't care. Yeah, they don't know how much work you're doing anywhere else and they don't care. Yeah, man, my productivity's through the roof. Well, two-thirds of people that said their workplace has a flexible working policy said they couldn't leave early.

They're still too scared to leave loudly. Only 24% of people said, yep, I've got no problem leaving loudly, but everyone else is a bit... But I totally understand that because they say, oh, flexible working hours because it sounds good, but they're still judging you for what time you leave, 100%. Then I know friends that have flexible work hours and they smash out their work and they're really good.

So they don't feel bad and their workplace loves them. Yeah, right. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how their workmates feel about them, but I mean, they seem to be doing the work. But also there's some jobs that you can do

all of the work in less time, but there's some jobs that just require the time. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, so everybody's

different. I mean, if it was a call centre job, you couldn't just leave early, couldn't you? Yeah, you couldn't be like, hello, yeah, no, can't help you, bye. Hello, yeah, no,

can't help you, bye. That's my 10 calls. See you. That's so, oh my God, I couldn't do that job. That's my worst nightmare, talking to people on the phone all, hello, yeah, no, I can't help you. Bye, hello, yeah, no, I can't help you. Bye, that's my 10 calls. See you. That's so, oh, my God, I couldn't do that, Joel. That's my worst nightmare, talking to people on the phone all day. Oh, yeah, people would make you cry, eh, because they'd just be so rude. Oh, and they're so mean. Yeah.

Yeah. I always try to be really nice to call centre people now. Whereas there are rare occasions that I call them. Yeah. Why do I drive a hard bargain? I'm stern but fair. Well, when you talk to them. But fair.

Or when you're doing your calls into calls. Well, no, no. I call like recently like we changed power companies and I called. Well, no, we were moving and I rung my old power company and I was like, hey, look, these guys are offering me a bloody TV. Yeah. What are you going to offer me?

Yeah, you were bragging yesterday about how storky we were on the phone. Oh, because usually Sharday and I argue over who's going to deal with the grown-up stuff, because no one likes dealing with that. But then I got on a bit of a power trip. And they were like, oh, that's the best I can do. And I said, well, I really appreciate the effort you've put in. Is there anybody I can talk to? Slightly higher

up the chain. A little semi-patronising. I know, a little bit patronising, but nicely. And they were like, yeah, sure, I'll put you through. And then had a talk to him. Yep. Screwed him down. Felt pretty good. You should do this. It's a competitive market out there for power supplies. Right.

It's a lot of admin though, isn't it? I have to call them and talk to them. Yeah, because I'm not on a contract. I could do that. But it's too hard, isn't it? No, you'd get in there. I'd have to change my automatic payment. Get in there.

It'll be worth it. Well, tell him. You've got to change my automatic payment. Get in there. It'll be worth it, mate. Well, tell him. I've got to change my automatic payments. Make it worth it. Flirt with me. What do you want? What are you going to give me? Will you take me out for dinner?

Damn right. Send me a dinner voucher. Right. Maybe I'd like to go out to dinner. Not with you. That's what you're saying on the phone, but I'd like to. So maybe you send me a voucher. Yeah, right.

Sometimes they do sound a bit hot and you're like, hey. Oh, you know, but you can't let the hot people get control of you. Yeah, okay. Because, you know, you'll always be a little more lenient on a hot person. Because in the back of your mind, you're like, this person's hot. Maybe they want to sleep with me. Even though you've got, like, a wife and kids. There's just that little voice at the back of their head that's like,

go easy on this hot person. I wouldn't have used the name Gary because he's a Gary that works here, Megan. Oh, okay. But don't put that away. Be shush, voice. We're about to get something for free. It's quite like radio though, isn't it? They never sound like they look.

Yeah. Which is why I'm actually quite a treat. I don't sound it, but. Very good looking man. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Little wee picture popped up on my Facebook feed last night and I'd say two out of three of us are big Harry Potter fans. Fletch, not so much.

What am I? You're a Slytherin. Slytherin. A Hogwarts. You got Hogwarts. You and I are Slytherins and Ariana Grande and I'm sure Augie is a Slytherin. Yeah, she's a Slytherin. I've seen one of the movies.

I just got on board too late and I was like. Yeah, and you were whinging the whole time. What's that? I don't know. Why is everyone upset that died? Yeah. I was like, that's. That's a big deal.

That's a free house, Elva. One day I'll watch them. No, you won't. No, you won't. Don't make false promises. You won't. So it was quite exciting when up on my Facebook feed popped a picture of Vaughn with Neville Longbottom.

Yeah. A couple of nerdy teenagers have blossomed into quite something. Well, he has. Almost unrecognisable from the early Harry Potter films. Was he the one that did the modelling? Yeah. Everyone's like, what? And you Neville Longbottom became like a way of describing

someone's transition from nerdy teenager to like hot adult. Yeah, you Neville Longbottom. You have Longbottom. You have Longbottom. Yeah. What's his last name? Are you Googling those pictures? No, I was going to do a before and after for you, Fletch. Like a hot adult. Yeah, you're never long-bottomed. You're long-bottomed. You're long-bottomed. Yeah. What's his last name? Are you Googling that? No, I was going to do a before and after for you, Fletch,

so you can see. Oh, no, I remember. I remember what he looked like before because I remember when that was in the news, the before and afters. Yeah, Matthew Lewis is his name. He's been in New Zealand filming a film with our very own Rose Metaphio

about a couple that are going to have a baby that I don't think they plan to have the baby. Right. And just all about struggling through pregnancies and everything. Right. And it's a movie. It's been filmed here over the last six weeks. And so, yeah, the thing I did with him yesterday is going to come out

when the movie comes out for like the press. Right. The press situation. It's a bit of a chat about what it's like being a father compared to what it's like acting being a father. Right. Yeah. But really nice guy.

Really nice guy. We talked about, because we were filming, there was a renovation going on next door, and someone went across and said, can we just get that skill saw cut for 10 to 15 minutes? It's nuts in New Zealand when you're filming something. You don't get like an area that's quiet. You literally just ask everybody to shut up.

Hey, I know you're charging the person that's renovating this villa like through the nose, but would you be able to take an early smoker? We just need to film a funny chit-chat over here. And he was saying they filmed a scene at the beach for this movie and there was like actual Kiwi families in the background and they had to go over and be like

can you just get your kids to shut up for just a minute? We're just trying to film quite an important scene for this little movie we're making. Yeah. Yeah, if they could just

play over there, bugger off. But no, really nice guy. So how many Harry Potter questions or references did you make? Like one and a half. Did his eyes glaze over when you started?

No, he laughed. Right. Like a... Not really. It was like an okay one. It was about like drinking on the set of Harry Potter, but they were like kids, so it was a bit of that. But then apparently like Daniel Radcliffe did have a drinking problem.

When I got home, I was like, didn't one of them? I Googled it and yeah, he said the last couple of movies of Harry Potter, he was on the source. Right. So I hope he didn't think it was in reference to that. Right. And then I put that photo up and a mate messaged me

saying, did you get Emma Watson's phone number off him? And I said, no, I'm a 37 year old father of two who's going home to his family. I wasn't like,

hey mate, you don't have Emma Watson's number do you? He's like, oh well, maybe next time. I was like, no, not next you don't have Emma Watson's number, do you? He's like, oh, well, maybe next time. I was like, no, not next time either. That's not how this works. That's not how that works at all.

In his head, he's just going to give it to you. Yeah. Yeah, this guy I actually just don't know at all. And then we got into a heavy debate about, like, would he even have Emma Watson's phone number? I was like, whether they, like, grew up. It's not like they just did one movie together. Yeah, they grew up.

They did like seven of them and they grew up together. So I'd imagine he'd still be in contact with Emma Watson. I imagine they've got a group chat on Facebook. Like our group chat, but their group chat. And their names are actually their characters' names. But how far does it go? Like who's in the group? Harry, Hermione, Ron.

Neville. Neville Longbottom. I mean, he's crucial. He's crucial Gryffindor. Yeah. Hagrid? Robbie Coltrane? Oh, you've got to have Hagrid.

Yeah, I know, but he's like, oh, he'd very rarely contribute. And then the Weasleys. Like, all of them. All of the Weasleys. He'd be, he'd be. What's it? Robbie Coltrane. Who'd be posting those

might attend $1,000 voucher? Yeah. He'd be like, hey guys, I want to win this Rolls Royce. It's got a bow around it. They're giving 1,000 of them away. Can you guys like my post

so I can win? You're like, oh, Hagrid. He's like, know everything, do you? You're a wizard, Ari. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. There is a turf war.

There's a turf war between Mr. Whippies. Right. This is in the UK. A Mr. Whippy and a Mr. Softy. Okay. Right. You're right. You're right, mate?

Mr Softy's not Why are you calling him that? Mr Softy's got something else written on his truck too I bet he does Oh no, it's the best in town It's not what your missus is saying What's wrong with that name? What do you think?

It's a soft serve What do you think? That's so Carry on It's tickled you, hasn't it? Mr. Softy's written and driven by Debbie Head. Anyway, Debs... This wasn't an April Fool's story, was it?

Always check the date board. Mr. Softy, CEO D. Head, gets a text message from a friend saying, there's a Mr. Whippy in your regular spot. Okay. In Hampshire. Okay. And she was, Debbie's away on a ski holiday.

Okay. And she's like, like hell there is. And so a turf war has broken out between these ladies in their 50s as to who is entitled to serve their special brand of soft serve ice cream in this particular area which is

everybody getting ice creams is still in puffer jackets and beanies so I'm imagining we're at the height of British summer in this story or not quite yet but they run their in and they block each other in. So Mr. Whippy's there. You remember Mr. Whippy was the Johnny-come-lately.

Yeah. Mr. Softy pulls in and parks right beside him so no one can access Mr. Whippy's window. Oh, okay. And so the line of people are forced then to use Mr. Softy exclusively. Right. Mr. Softy taking a hard line there. Yes. Yeah.

And Mr. Softy also offering a 99p flake. Oh, Mr Softie taking a hard line there. Yes. Yeah. And Mr Softie also offering a 99p flake. Oh, okay. So the cone and then the flake. Is that for the cone and flake? I believe that's an additional. Well, I don't know because that seems like that's almost a $3 flake. That's $2. That's got to be everything. That's a ballsy maneuver.

Well, Debbie here does have balls. That's uh, she's really giving. Whoopie the shaft Unfortunately It won't last though because she is Mr. Softy You need to stop It's a medical thing This has never happened to me before

So we want to talk about turf wars Because I've got a little bit of a turf war going here at work Oh do you? Somebody, I'm assuming a recent starter. Right. I saw them from behind the other day getting into the lift. They were wearing a raglan tee and a beanie. Now I was like, I'm pretty sure that combo is spoken for.

That's you. That's your uniform. That's me going into winter. I'll be returning to the longer sleeves. Okay. You should feel flattered that someone thought it was a good enough combo to emulate. It's a solid combo. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Season eight. Game of Thrones. The final season. It is upon us. Six days away? Yes. Six sleeps? Less than a week. It is predicted that over 170 different countries will be tuning in. Megan, yes. How many countries are there?

Question. Like, I feel like there's just under 200, right? Like 189. Good Lord. 195. Damn it. It's not 170. They keep splitting up.

I'm looking at you. Damn it. It's not 170. They keep splitting up. I'm looking at you. Saddam. You're north. No, you're just south and you're Saddam. So there's only 20 countries that won't be watching it. Yeah, why won't they be watching it? Yeah, what are they doing? What are you guys up to?

Why don't you want to watch it? What's wrong with you? They might not have TVs. Oh. Oh, yeah, okay. Surely someone's got a TV they can crowd around. Anyway, one billion people expected to watch it over 170 countries. That is insane.

Which has got to set all sorts of TV show records, right? Yeah. Like, that's nuts. That is the thing about a long-run show like this. It was the same with Breaking Bad and other examples that I can't think of off the top of my head. But, you know, like, they gather a bit of momentum, like, early on and people are watching them, but then they have such big breaks between seasons

that people hear about it, so they watch it and they catch up. So, like, after season four, someone catches up on all of them. Yeah. And then it's ready for season five. I feel like after season five, someone does this ready for season six. I feel like after season three, I got into for season six. I feel like after season three I got into it because I'd put it off

for so long because of dragons. Me too. I thought it was just some kind of mythical, I don't know. Well, it is. It's fantasy, really.

It is fantasy, yeah. Dragons and snow zombies. But it's not as fantasy as shows can go. Maybe, you know what? Maybe you just like fantasy and you didn't know. I don't want to.

I don't want to admit that either. Maybe there's a Dungeons and Dragons player deep down in all of us and we were just ashamed to embrace it. It like creeps up on you slowly so you're not like, oh, dragons right at the start. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it gets you with like boobs and hot dudes and beheadings

and flames and hot people speaking English, non-English languages. Producer Caitlin, now that you've got a boyfriend, he got you into Game of Thrones finally. Yes. You have been in the last month binging from episode one. I watched five hours in like all consecutively on Sunday afternoon that I had free. Good play.

So what are you up to? Season five. I can't believe I watched five seasons. But you're nearly at the end of... Nearly finished that. So I looked on the wiki page and you've got 23 episodes to catch up before season eight on Monday.

That's 23 hours. 23 episodes over six days. So you're just about to start season five? No, nearly finished season five. So she's got 20... Oh, there's a couple of real... Oh, nearly finished season five. So she's got 20. Oh, there's a couple of real, oh, into season five. And none of those are really skippable. I know, because I keep saying spoilers.

I'm like, oh, my God. I won't say it because some people will. Caitlin, you have had like six years to watch those. I know. I know. And like, I'm kind of half watching it, but I'm still really into it. Yeah. You can't half watch it. but I'm still really into it. Yeah. You can't half watch it.

No, you can because my boyfriend's here. No, I half watch it because then the next day Vaughn explains everything to me. But people are doing viewing parties. I'm like, no way do I want to be in a group situation. Oh, no, no, no, no. Everyone's talking. Shh. It'll be quiet.

It'll be loud. It'll be big screen. Game of Thrones has actually been used in a study to see how well people can remember and recall faces. Because there's so many characters. And some of them are in like season three and then disappear and come back in season six. So they're studying how well you can recall who they were.

Because I can't. And the names are confusing. Like Sirius and... Sirius is of Harry Potter, so you're watching the wrong thing. Thanos. No, the girls, the bad wits. Why doesn't Thanos just click his fingers and then kill the white zombies? Someone give Jon Snow the Infinity Gauntlet.

Well, six slave sits. Welcome one, welcome all to the Fletch, Vaughn and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get four gigs of bonus data on Spark's $49 prepaid value pack. Now, on with the podcast. So yesterday, our neighbor rings Charday in the morning. This is the goat story. This is the goat drama from Day Dog.

Because for those who don't know, you now have a couple of rescue goats. Helen and Harold. Harold and Helen. That are like dogs. They are Helen. They're like dogs. They are great. They're paddock dogs. And the reason they're better than the dogs is they don't come inside. They don't make a mess.

Yeah. Now that I've got the electric fence up, they stay in the paddock. They don't bark. They come when I say their names. They run to me. They like eat treats that I take them. Well, you got them a watermelon, didn't you, yesterday? Yeah, I did. Again, that didn't look like

it, like that could have been eaten by humans. Nah, it was soft. It was a 99 cent watermelon from the veggie store. I just go into the clearance bin on the way home most days now and I'm like, what have you got today? Leek? They love leek. Do they like tomatoes? You should get the food scraps from Megan's Cafe. What do you do with those?

We don't actually have any food scraps. They don't have any food waste. They're running a zero waste operation. You'd know that if you'd been. I'm coming this weekend. Some friends are more supportive than others. I'm coming this weekend, I've said. Okay.

I'll come back. I'll go again. So Sade gets a call from the neighbour saying, because Sade's out on a walk with a friend, and she says, hey, the neighbour's got your goats. The guy down the road's got your goats. Gives them the address. I look it up. It's quite a way down the road. Okay.

Couple hundred metres down the road. Oh my god. So Sade messages me and I could read the messages out but they had some swear words so I'll paraphrase. The bloody goats have got out. I say we get rid of them. I know.

Do you think she's jealous because you're spending so much time with them? Perhaps. And she's not getting as much attention? Maybe. Because sometimes you'll just sit in the paddock with them, won't you? Yeah. Yeah. Well, she's doing other stuff. She's like, I don't know, watching something.

So I'll just go and sit in the paddock with the goats who pay me attention. I'm surprised she isn't, you know, she isn't thankful that the goats are occupying. Yeah, because when I went back inside yesterday, she told me I was being annoying. The goats never say that. So she says the bloody goats have got out. Yeah.

And I'm not going and getting them. I say we get rid of them. They're a pain. Wow. And I said, for a start, you're gone before the goats are gone. How'd that go? Just LOLs. But I said, oh, no, I wonder how they got out.

And so the neighbour says, well, the guy down the road was apparently sitting in his lounge last night at nine o'clock and he heard clip-clop on his deck and he turned around and there were two goats on his deck. I was like, that is Harold and Helen through and through. They love popping up onto people's decks and saying hello. So this guy just was doing a walk around the neighbourhood and he said to our neighbour, do you have goats? And she

said, no, the people behind us do. Right. And he was like, alright, well tell them their goats are at my house. Right. So Sade's saying get rid of them and I'm like, well I've got a couple of things to do after the show today. We'll talk to Neville Longbottom. And then I'll be home. And she's like, I'm not going to get them. I'm like, well, I've got a couple of things to do after the show today. We'll talk to Neville Longbottom. And then I'll be home.

And she's like, I'm not going to get them. I was like, that's absolutely fine. If the guy said they're in the paddock, they can stay in the paddock till I get there. So I call, I pull into home and I get out and I go, g'day mate, to Sade because I can see her. And I hear, meh, because they respond to the sound of my voice. They thought you were being like, g'day mate. But I said to shut up, I was like, g'day mate. And then, meh, meh.

And I'm like, Perrin Allen. Uh-huh. So I walk down into their paddock. I'm like, g'day guys. And they're like, meh, meh. And I give them a little scritchy between the horns. A little between the horns, under the chin, on the horns, around the ears. They're loving it. And I'm like, you guys have had a silly adventure. How did you get home? And I had a little bit of a chat to them and I walked into the show. And I said, Shade, did you go and get the guys?

And she said, no. I said, they've bloody found their own way home. Brilliant. That's amazing. They've gone for a journey and they've been like, oh, it's home time now. And they've come back and they've obviously, there's a weak point in the fence and they've got themselves back in and they're happy as Larry. And she said, well, you better go and tell the guy because he's going to get home and these goats

are going to be gone and he's going to be like, well, they're on the run again. So I walk around to this guy's house and I'm walking up his driveway and what's in his paddock? Two other goats. Not Harold and Helen. Not even Harold and Helen. Two other robed goats.

Are you listening to yourself? This is your drama. So I go up to this, knock, knock, knock on the door. He comes up and I'm like, hey, you walked up our driveway before about the two goats. He's like, they're just there. I was like, well, twist M. Night Shyamalan. Just as riveted. Reference like, they're just there. I was like, well, twist M. Night Shyamalan. Just as riveted.

Reference. Whom over his head. Just as bad as M. Night Shyamalan's latest movie. So I say, those aren't actually my goats. My goats are still in the paddock. Yeah. And he's like,

oh, okay. And I said, do you mind if I go and have a chat to them? And he said, the goats? I said, yeah.

And he's like, knock yourself out, man. They're not my goats. I was like, okay. And I walked over to them. I was like, g'day goats. And I scratched under the chin and I said, do you mind if I go and have a chat to them? And he said, the goats? I said, yeah. And he's like, knock yourself out, man. They're not my goats. I was like, okay. And I walked over to them. I was like, g'day, goats. And I scratched under the chin and I said, where have you come from? And I was giving them a little scratch between the horns.

And this is a cute thing. They're like teeny goats. They're not baby goats. They're just a different breed of goats. They're small, tiny goats. And he said, jeez, you've got a way with goats. I bet you loved that. And I turned and I said, some have called me the goat whisperer.

And I gave him some scritches and I said, well, if no one comes forward, I'll happily adopt these two robed goats. Which, of course, your wife, Sade, would be happy about. And he said, okay, well, if no one comes in the next few days, I'll pop over because he knows where they live. Do these goats have, like, collars or anything? Yeah, they had quite nice collars on. So they are pets? Yep.

But you still want them. So were Harold and Helen once upon a time and no one came forward to claim those little rascals and now I've got them and I love them. So I walk home and I walk in and I said to Shade, you are never going to guess. It was never Harold and Helen.

It was two other row goats. And she said, please don't tell me you brought them home. And I said, not yet. I'm giving them a cooling period. And I said, when you learnt that the goats were missing, did you think to go and look in the paddock? She's like, no. It's like a 20 metre walk that way. You could have gone and been like,

oh, they're not our goats. You'd be awfully panicked. About my goats. You were very stressed yesterday. I was like, what have they done? Are they going to be okay? No ordinary paddock can hold them. That's what I thought to myself. If he's just left them in the paddock,

no ordinary paddock can hold these goats. So she wanted to get rid of the two that you had, but now she might end up with four. We might have two more. Okay. More goats. Different breeds of goats. Already got some names sorted.

Harold, Helen, and I don't know if they're boys or girls, Okay More goats Different breeds of goats Already got some names sorted Harold Helen And I don't know if they're boys or girls Yeah But I'm floating Henrietta Yeah And Horatio You're pretty much Kris Jenner

Yeah, yeah, yeah But with goats Yeah Well maybe you do need a Kris I'm there I'm there Maybe you do need a Kris Jenner That doesn't make a reality show

Of the goats A goat reality show Yeah Because there's a gap in the reality show. Of the goats. A goat reality show. Yeah. Because there's a gap in the market. I don't know of any other goat reality show. Well, there was an episode of Country Calendar on Sunday night about goats. God, did I hear about that. Every single person, you know what?

You're not going to go in and make these goats. And I was like, I'm saving it for a special occasion. I'm going to on-demand it when I've just got a nice quiet Friday night. Oh, my God. You are losing your mind. Do me a favour and listen back to this break when you've got a spare moment later. I don't have a spare moment. Just reflect.

I've got goats to acquire. Indiana Jones and Ally McBeal are in New Zealand at the moment. I'm sure they appreciate being called that. Or it could be Han Solo and Ally McBeal. Those two actors that played those characters look very similar. Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart and their son Liam are in New Zealand. And man, the embarrassing stories about people's interactions with those are flowing thick and fast.

I'm a huge Star Wars and a huge Indiana Jones fan. Yep. My daughter Indy's semi-Indiana Jones, named after. Shadow wouldn't let me have Star Wars names whatsoever. So you snuck that in. So we got an Indiana and I was like, that's close enough to Indiana Jones, named after. It was a... Shadow wouldn't let me have Star Wars names whatsoever. So you snuck that in. So we got an Indiana and I was like, that's close enough to Indiana Jones for me. So big Indiana Jones fan.

And I would love a photo with him. With Harrison Ford. But I also know Harrison Ford is a notoriously grumpy old prick when it comes to people approaching him in public. And fair enough. He's been A-list famous since the 70s. And you think about it, of all the fans, Star Wars fans would be the most punishing fans.

He's been in movies that have intense cult followings. Yeah, and so he would have been harassed as a C-Lab since the 70s. I felt like you were trying to get a Harrison harassed pun going. But I don't think you even knew you were doing it. But so the embarrassing stories include, this is from a woman called Shirley from Blenheim. Yep. So wait, he was in, they were in Queenstown on Sunday,

but then also spotted in Marlborough Sounds on Sunday. It said last Sunday afternoon, so it might have been the week before. Right. And this is purely holiday related? Yeah. Okay. So Shirley sees Harrison Ford. They've been hiking, by the sounds of things.

Harrison Ford and his son are paddling their feet in the water. And she walked up to him and said, Oh, my gosh. You're Richard Gere, aren't you? Oh, Cheryl. To which he said, no. Oh. Oh, Cheryl. To which he said, no. Oh, no. Cheryl.

She then said, your name's Richard, though, to which he said, no. And then she said, your wife's name's Callista. And he did not want to play along. So she gave them up. He was looking at me like, would this woman please shut up? Oh, I'd give anything to have seen that interaction.

Oh my God, yes. Yeah. So... You wonder why he's a grumpy old... Because the story was that he boarded the flight in Queenstown. They got everyone on the plane

and he was in row 12. Because it's all economy, isn't it? Wait, no, he was 17. Oh, 17. It was 12's exit row. Oh, okay. So he's even back past the exit row.

Well, it was a delayed flight, so I don't know if they cancelled one and merged it with another. But then they made, he got on almost like doing a walk of shame like last. And walked past everyone. Because you'd think they'd put them on first and then they could hide in a hoodie or something. Yeah, and he was wearing a green jacket that looks heaps like what he wore in the Star Wars movie, the most recent Star Wars movie that he was in. So everyone's taking photos of him. But you would.

I'd try to take a photo of him. I'd try to. But then, see, we're a little sneakier with taking photos than your average baby boomer who's getting out the iPad. Stephen, get the iPad down. I want to take a photo of Harrison Ford. Is it on? I'll turn it back on. Yep, get the iPad down. I want to take a photo of Harrison Ford. Is it on? Turn it back on.

Yep, pass it to me. It's just loading. Oh, he's coming though. He's getting close, so this better. Oh, it's not going to do it in time. Slow down, Harrison Ford. Don't be in any hurry. What row are you going to?

17? Well, I'm in 16. Great, we'll be able to chat on the flight. Oh, God. Hey, the iPad's going. I'll take a photo Great. We'll be able to chat on the flight. Oh, God. And the iPad's going. I'll take a photo now. Ka-chunk. Flash.

I don't think he even realised I took a photo. Here, you can put this back on the overhead now. We won't want to rave our camera in his face the whole time. There she turns. Hello there. I loved you in all your movies. Oh, my God. And he's been getting that for like 40 years, guys.

That's why he's grumpy. I just looked up his net worth. He's worth $230 million. What level do you get a private jet to go on holiday? Like how rich do you have to be? I thought he would have been a little bit richer than that. Do you remember he's got his own plane and he's crashed it a couple of times? Yeah, I think he's probably letting somebody else take care of that now.

Well, maybe he's got a private jet for the rest of his trip to New Zealand so he doesn't have to deal with Sherl. Yeah, he was like, that'll be it. That's it, get the private jet here, I think. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Just before Fact of the Day. Okay. Because Shada's just messaged saying they're in the car listening.

Okay. So Fletch has got something to say to Indy. Indy, if you're listening. Oh, so today I got a, what do you call these? A loom band bracelet that Indy made me. And it's rainbow colours. So thank you very much, Indy. It's lovely.

I'm wearing it. He's actually wearing it. It's very cool. And he's been wearing it all morning. It's great, isn't it? That's three, that's the three, I think that's the three band fishtail. Right. How much is she charging for these?

Because I kind of want one now. The neighbours have got a Fijia stall out on the side of the road at the moment because they've got Fijia trees, and she said maybe I should start a loom band stall. I said I don't know if it's sort of like roadside stall. If she starts charging for these, you make sure you get Fletch to pay you back. Well, no, this is her first one.

This is like the influencer. You know, you give a couple of social media influencers for a freebie for a post. Do you want me to social media influence this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a discount code? She launches it. Yeah, yeah.

Swipe up for a discount. Fletch 20 or something. 20% off. Hashtag spawns. Yep. I'll swipe up. Always hashtag spawns. Very, very nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good work. Actually, the rainbow colour suits you. Rainbow looks nice. Makes your arm look tanned. Oh, yeah, the cat Good work. Actually, the rainbow colour suits you. Rainbow looks nice. Makes your arm look tanned. Oh, yeah, the cat does, actually. Megan's got a point there. Good stuff.

Andy wants to know what everybody's favourite colours are. I want a white one because I think it would be chic. A white one. So it's just like the latest craze. I think so. They're like little rubber bands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you loop them together to make wristbands.

Is that friendship bracelets? Yeah, bracelets, rings. They're just making a really, really long one. Her and her pals are making this insanely long one. Could you tie that to two trees and make it into a slingshot catapult arrow? It's not strong enough. They're only tiny little rubber bands. It's a good idea though. Double up the bands.

Double up the bands. We'll look into it. Or bungee from a tree. No. No, no, no, no. Don't do that. No. Okay. Right now it's time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is you can't sneeze while you dream.

Think about it. Oh, yeah. you can't sneeze while you dream. Think about it. Oh, yeah. You can't sneeze while you dream. Do you sneeze when you're asleep? You can sneeze while you're asleep, but you'll wake up to do it. Your body will wake you up just before the sneeze. I've never woken up just to sneeze. No, neither.

I don't think so. Can you do other things when you can scream and talk? Could you cry? Because you can't things when you're like, you can scream and talk? Could you cry? Because you can't smell when you're asleep either, eh? No, that's why if there's fires and stuff, yeah, often you don't wake up to it because you, I don't know if it's the same related to the note, same related to what happens,

but R.E.M. Atonia, which is the band and their new album. Yeah, it's when you do most of your dreaming, it's like the deepest sleep. Right. They begin, the brainwaves begin mimicking responses to waking activities. The eyes go side to side

and the bulk of the dreaming that you do takes place, but it's impossible to sneeze in that period of sleep. So motor neurons, all neurotransmitters begin to shut down at stage five. And as a result, the motor neurons, all neurotransmitters begin to shut down at stage five. And as a result, the motor neurons that trigger sneezing are not stimulated. So you could be having pepper sprinkled up your nose during REM. You could have all the things that make you sneeze, but you won't sneeze because your motor neurons have all shut down.

Basically, sneezing, foreign stuff goes up your nose, goes past the nose hairs. The mucous membranes are up there. And these particles trigger the release of histamines because, you know, you take antihistamines to stop sneezing. So they are made up, apparently, of nitrogen. They irritate the nerve endings and the same mucous membranes in your nose.

Then that goes, hey, brain, I'm irritated. And the brain's like, well, guess what? We're going to get the tracheal and membranes in your nose. Then that goes, hey brain, I'm irritated and the brain's like, well, guess what? We're going to get the tracheal and the pharyngeal. You're doing so good with the big words.

Pharyngeal. And then they're like, guys, we need to get together the mucous membranes are being irritated. Let's blow this stuff out and then hatoosh.

I love a good sneeze though. Like in the sun, if you get bright sun, does that make you sneeze as well? Yeah, you look at the light and it makes you sneeze. I love a good sneeze. I love a loud dad sneeze. Just a big out of nowhere. And people are like, Jesus.

And Ternani does those cute little sneezes. It's like a cartoon mouse. Thank you, I'm adorable. It's an easy sneezing, isn't it? It's easily the most adorable facet of you. I miss you. It's like a cartoon mouse. Thank you. I'm adorable. Sneezing, isn't it? Easily the most adorable facet of you. Probably why Max Key followed you on Instagram last night. That's why. Maybe I should post on my story me sneezing.

Yeah. That'll get him to stay following because we're hearing from people there might be some bot unfollows. Oh, for the love of God. Not to rain on your parade. Crikey, Moses. Definitely a follow for content. Definitely. Yeah, so

today's fact of the day is you can't sneeze while you dream. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. You can answer the show today, Vaughan and I are going shopping, Megan, and you're not invited. It's boys, it's lads trip. No, no, no, you can come too.

You are going shopping for clothes. I might get other things. Yeah, maybe you should do this. Because Vaughan's like, I need help because I need to buy jeans. No, but I need your discount. I need someone to. I need your discount. So he wants your discount and my... Your advice.

So the only... But what's wrong with my discount and my advice? No, I'll take... If it's a group purchase, I'll take them both. Do you know who else gets a discount where I get that discount? Matty McLean. He could be better to take. Maybe. But I feel like

You'll be brutally honest He'll just be like Yeah no that looks great Whereas I don't I know because You always just say Those jeans don't do you justice The people in the

In the stores They're on commish They tell you you look great You get home You're like They lied to me Yeah They lied to me

So Vaughn's getting jeans I'm going to help him Well because I've got Three pairs of jeans One's the Got to sit at Gooch Which is a problem Where it rips around the The crotch The balls Yeah So Vaughan's getting jeans. I'm going to help him. Well, because I've got three pairs of jeans. One's the got to sit at gooch, which is a problem where it rips around the crotch, the balls.

Yeah. And one's pockets fell out. Long story. And this one I'm wearing now does it. Well, these are very stained. Oh, my. What is that one right in the crotch? The bird poos.

How did bird poos get there? Well, I was at a table outside and I was like, what's that? And I said, my finger was bird poos and I watched it squirted out of my pants. And then that didn't come out.

And so these are such a... And they're also missing a couple of buttons in the buckle. We're going to get you some darker jeans too because those light jeans for me,

I get very, very grubby. And I'm also buying a keyboard because you'll remember I mentioned this yesterday. Because it's a rechargeable keyboard, I use my phone charger to charge it. Because you didn't have a cable. Because I didn't have a cable at my computer.

Yeah. So I put it in when I went to sleep. I just plugged that in and left it beside my bed, charging. On the floor beside your bed. And, of course, got up for a midnight or a two o'clock wheeze and I stood on it. And it's bent. Yeah, because the cable was under it and yeah, I'm

obviously, you know, heavy unit. So you left it on the floor by your bed? Yeah. Well, I'd forgotten about it because I don't normally put anything there or I tuck my phone under the bed kind of thing when it's charging. But you've bent your keyboard. I've bent my keyboard and it's not, it's not, it doesn't work properly now.

So I'm just like, Well, if you was bent every time you tried to type, it'd be like, wobbly, wobbly, wobbly, wobbly, wobbly, wobbly. On the desk, it was wobbly. You know those keyboards,

they had the stands under them and one leg goes down. It's like that. It was wobble. Yeah, you've got no choice but to go flat. You've got to go buy

a new keyboard today. And yeah, I didn't feel good. Like, ouch. It was just a gentle, I just stepped. What wasn't it? It big thud it was a midnight you know when you walk in your half asleep you just like like a giant walking like a giant so that's on the look if you need to justify the winter chub that's absolutely fine it's not even winter yeah no you've got to get your winter chub before winter oh right but then you wait till winter you'll be cold. You've got to build it now.

What? But then you get your winter chub over winter. Yeah, no, you keep it over winter. Oh, yeah, right. You build it up. It's like a polar bear, mate. If he's hibernating,

he's like, all right, I've got one day to eat as much as I can. He's all go all the time. Puts the chub on, goes into hibernation. Yeah, that's on my shopping list today. But I was wondering,

because, you know, the midnight wheeze thing, it's a thing. You can't turn the light on because if you turn the light on, you'll wake up too much. Or a midnight snack. What have you stood on in the dark? That's what I want to ask today. During your midnight wheeze run. Because when my cat was alive, R.I.P., I stood on my cat once.

Oh, yeah. Animals are always getting in the way. That's why I walk with a very forceful front. When I'm walking in the dark, I walk. Because I know there's no sort of shin-high tables. It'll just be an animal. But that's the thing. Or if, like, you stay at a new place, like a hotel or a room for the night,

you're not quite sure of that. And you always, you might hit a shin. You get something in the shins. Yeah. I stood on, this was a while back, but man, I'll never forget it. In the middle of the night, I stood on a multi-box, you know, where you plug in the wall and then you can plug like six things in. Yeah.

The thing that plugs into the wall was upright, the three prongs, and I stood on it with the middle of my foot and I just dropped me. But what about your kids' toys? Do they ever leave toys out? Like Lego? Not in our room. Right. Okay.

And the hallway lights on because they like the light on so you get a bit of a... Oh yeah, you've got an ensuite. You don't have to do the whole gauntlet. So give us a call,

0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. What have you stood on at night? And bonus points if it really hurt. Talking about those things that you stand on

in the middle of the night. Samara, what have you stood on in the middle of the night? I've stood on a slug. Oh, yeah. And then what were you walking outside? I was like, I was walking from my car and I was walking to the house and the outside light was

broken. I had blue feet and I just stepped on it. It was disgusting. I don't recommend. It's devastating when you stand on a snail because you know that it is. It goes crunching. I know and I feel bad. Yeah. What a horrible way to go.

Don't. That's one less cabbage those can destroy actually. I know you're cabbage lovers. You shouldn't feel bad. No. No. But a snail you get the crack squ know your cabbage lovers, you shouldn't feel bad. No, no. But a snail, you get the crack, squelch, but slug, you don't get any warning. It's just straight up between your toes. Thanks, Samara. Keegan, what did you stand on in the middle of the night?

Shakti mat, of all things. Do you know what? I would say that is the most popular text we've had in. And call we've received so many people standing on a Shakti mat. Do you reckon that's because people leave them beside their bed? They just have a little Shakti before bed? Yeah, wife standing on a Shakti mat. Do you reckon that's because people leave them beside their beard? They just have a little Shakti before beard? Yeah, the wife was having a Shakti before beard and then decided to go on the floor. Oh, the wife shouldn't have a pre-bed Shark and then leave it out there.

Even when you want to stand on a Shakti mat, they're hard to stand on, aren't they? You've got to do it gently. You don't want to jump on there. Yeah, Keegan, thanks for your call. Andre, what did you stand on in the night? My little pony. Did the horn go through your foot? Yeah, it got me a treat.

My three-year-old son was screaming out at night, and I'm a deep sleeper, and the wife woke me up because she didn't want to get up. I'm walking down the hallway, and I walked into the wall, and I stepped back, and there was my little pony. Fair to say I wasn't impressed. Because they're a hard plastic, aren't they? Not a soft.

Well, the old ponies had a softer plastic, but the new My Little Pony is much harder. Right. Much harder. I would have preferred the older one, but the newer model got me a treat. Yeah, right. Okay.

Not what you need at like two in the morning, is it? No, and then I got up and I explained to the, who put that toy there, and my three-year-old son said, sorry about that. Oh. You can't be mad. You can't.

Thanks for your call, Andre. Some other text messages. My mum stepped on my pet bird. Oh, mum. Was it like that? Was it like that? At least she broke it to me very sensitively. She threw the bird at me saying,

stop leaving my stuff lying around the house. It was an actual. It's such a broke it to me very sensitively. She threw the bird at me saying, stop leaving my stuff lying around the house. It was an actual. It's such a mum thing to do. Actual. It's your fault. You shouldn't have left it out. Actual bird.

Cat vomit and cat poo. Very popular. Oh, yeah. What people are standing on in the middle of the night. Someone said they were in Indonesia staying in a hostel.

Recommended by Lonely Planet. Okay. Woke up in the middle of the night for a wee, stood up to walk outside, stood on a massive rat. Oh, yeah. You give me shit for not staying in hostels and backpackers,

but then all I hear is this kind of stuff. The bad stories. Stand on a rat in the middle of the night. Have you ever stayed in a backpacker's? No. I can see a wacky radio thing in this. No. No. Open a backpacker's. No. I can see a wacky radio thing in this. No. No.

Open a backpackers. No. I can see a wacky. No, Megan. I'm not saying. You open a backpackers, Megan stays there one night, and then you just keep running the backpackers. Not creepy.

No, it's not creepy at all. No. No. Okay. Not at all. Lego would be by far and away the most popular thing we've heard about, but we all know the devil. That hurts. The, but we all know that the devil that is. Yeah.

The devil that is. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. And you say, live here. ZM.