ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 10 2018

Episode Date: April 10, 2018

Fletch and Vaughan found out some shocking news today, Community Notices and what have you tried to hide from your partner but got found out?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark, get even more data with their prepaid rollover packs. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thank you, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, and yes, heartbreaking news out of Australia on Friday, wasn't it? A million chicken nuggets strewn across a highway. Do we have any word what brand of chicken nuggets? Yeah, were they McNuggets or were they like the supermarket nugs?

I think they were supermarkets. I don't think they were knackers. Tempura or crumb? I'm unsure about the coaching. It would be standard crumb. There's no way they'd be making a million tempura. Do you not think there's a market for it? I was like, yikes.

But then I was like, ew. Yeah, they saved $200,000 on the road. Oh, that. But even when I saw them, I was like, that. Yeah, they saved $200,000 on the road. Oh, that. But even when I saw them, I was like, that's a million nuggets in one place. Yeah. And I don't like to think about food on a large scale. I like to think that, you know,

the bag of nuggets was made sort of in a boutique fashion just for me. Yeah, it makes you think, doesn't it, that they're made in bulk and that they're not really chicken. Yeah. And what happened to the 800,000 that they didn't salvage? They said what the rest of us did

when you spill something on the road you just sweep it to the side and leave it there. It's not your problem anymore. Feed it to the cows? I wouldn't.

In some kind of weird circle of life? No, no, no. That's the start of a zombie movie I reckon. Yeah, right. Feed cows the nuggies

the cows turn on us. I tell you what, I'm more of a fan now of the southern style chicken bite than... And Anya backs me up here. Oh, baby. Better than a nugget. A little bit of sweet chilli sauce. That's from Wild Bay. From BP, yeah.

Better than a nuggs. Oh, my lord. Better than a nuggs. Better than a nuggs. Well, they're more meat. They're thicker. They're girthier and bigger. Huge.

They're bigger than a nugg. Most definitely. They're a lot thicker. I, they're more meat. They're thicker. They're girthier and bigger. Huge. They're bigger than a nug. Most definitely. They're about thicker. I thought they were popcorn chicken size. No, they're almost double. Almost double. I'd say nearly triple. Like these days.

Yeah. You're talking a muesli bar size here. No, not that big. But they're a dollar each. Are they as big as a one square meal? No. No way. You're dreaming, mate.

No. But those things will block you up. One square meal. Well, yeah, it's one square meal. No, I used to go snowboarding when we used to eat at one square meal. I tell you, you wouldn't poop for a long time. A long time.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, the part of the show where I give Vaughan and Megan three news headlines for interesting, unusual, weird news stories. And they pick one story, only one headline. You Googled yesterday, Vaughan, that's not allowed today. Okay.

I mean, I don't know what I'll do if you do, but it's breaking the rules. Play along, please. You've got to have a punishment sorted out for a rule break when you lay down the law. Okay. Kind of say, I don't know what's going to happen here. An electric shock. Like the police don't say, now you better not kill anybody.

I don't know what I'm going to do if you do. Yeah, sure. You better not. Okay. Headline one today, woman's selfie spikes online. Headline two, train engineer forgets the brake.

And headline three, grandma's Christmas cards get her in trouble. Now, those are the headlines today. I like the selfie. I knew you were going to go Grandma. Got to have Grandma getting in trouble for Christmas cards. He overrode you yesterday, didn't he? Did I?

Yeah, you do this quite a bit. You just roll over, Megan. She'll say, I want this one. And you'll be like, all right. How come we had a story like that before with a grandma? Yes. this quite a bit. You're quite, you just roll over Megan, she'll say, I want this one and you'll be like, alright. Don't, the grandma, haven't we had a story like that before

with a grandma? Yes. Yeah. In fact, I thought it was the same grandma but it's not, it's a different grandma.

Yeah. No, because no, last time grandma got a credit card, a Christmas card and someone had scribbled it

out and called her a slut. Among other things. Among, yeah, that was probably the nicest thing Is it a card That grandma's received

Or is it a card That she sent Sent out She sent a whoopsie Hasn't she Yeah she has Okay What's the headline

For the selfie Women's selfie Spikes online Which one's better Oh I know that story Megan I can share with you I've just

Saw it in my My googling My perusing the internet. She took a selfie in a bar at the exact moment somebody was spiking her drink. I saw that. Wasn't it like a boomerang? Yeah, and some guy's like, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. I know. And her drink.

And it didn't look like it was an accident. No. It was literally like this right over her cup sprinkling or kind of Did she drink it? No. Because Sheila was reviewing her ring because you always review your ring before you post because you

don't want to look a bit moongy. I wasn't sure if she realised quite a bit after that that was the guy that spiked her drink. Like after the day where she'd been a bit sick. Right, like she starts getting replies being like, someone's sprinkling something in your drink. She's like, I was only guy that spiked her drink. Like, after the day where she'd been a bit sick. Right, like, she starts getting replies, being like, someone's sprinkled something in your drink. She's like, I was only looking at myself in the ring. Because most of the time,

you don't care what your friends look like, and it's your ring. Yeah. You're just like, well, I look good, Barbara, so you can F right off. Still calling it a ring. It is. It's a ring.

It's a boomie. It's a boomie. Boomie. Well, I'm going for the last half of the word. Okay, well, we go to the UK. A 63-year-old grandmother has appeared in court charged with sending obscene Christmas cards to her family, which had pictures of penises scrawled on them.

Elish Hennessy is also accused of faking an 87-year-old relative's signature in a bid to get her home care stopped. This grand sounds evil and like she's had enough of life. I want to be this grand when I'm older. She appeared in court late last week and charged under the Postal Services Act. Oh. I bet they get jazzed when they get to pull out that one

because not many people get used to the Postal Service anymore. Exactly. The local newspaper reported that around Christmas 2016, They get jazzed when they get to pull out that one because not many people get used to the postal service anymore. Exactly. The local newspaper reported that around Christmas 2016, the injured parties in the case received cards and letters from the accused which were obscene with images of male genitalia. Did she draw them? Yes. What does a nana-drawn penis look like?

It's probably in black and white. There's no evidence here, yeah. I would love to have seen my nana draw a penis. Just out of interest. Everybody draws a penis slightly differently. And maybe, are they bigger these days? I don't know, because you know how people have got taller over the time? I would have just thought that there would have been more pubes back in the day.

Oh, way more. And we all know the old rule, it looks smaller when it's, you know. Yeah, in a forest. Tane Mahuta is massive, but it looks smaller because it's surrounded by trees. Yeah, I mean, if we deforested around Tane Mahuta, it would look way bigger. It would be great for tourism. Massive. We should think about that.

This was all sparked over a land dispute within the family, a row, which is why she wanted to get her 87-year-old relative the care stopped for them. So she has now been charged. I think she's got probation. You can't lock up a 67-year-old, 63-year-old grandmother, can you?

I think she can handle herself in there, though. My dad's 63. And I couldn't imagine him doing something so juvenile. He wouldn't do something like that. But like it's not old anymore, 63. No, it's the new 50. They could spend 20 years in prison and really, you know, still have a bit of time to go. Still come out and be like, well, I'll admit it. That was a silly thing to do.

Or come out and be like, nope, I was right all along. A mum has made a breakthrough invention. I saw this do the rounds yesterday, this headline, and then it quickly got changed to she's actually a female engineer. But she's also a mum. So she felt the need to invent a silent vibrator. I'd be, I'm good with this. Great idea.

Yeah. But if it was my mum. No, you wouldn't be. I'd be like, mum. What's going on? No, but think't be. I'd be like, mum. What's going on? No, but think about the inheritance. Were you really whipping up a magic bullet shake in your room all those times? So, yeah, she's got kids.

I don't know if that's the reason why she decided to do this, but what she's done is used space technology to develop it. So she said, you know, like it's... Like NASA technology. I don't know what that means, space technology. NASA pillow? Memory foam, wasn't that invented by astronauts? Yeah, it was.

By NASA? It was initially, but you don't play with yourself with it, I hope. No, no. She wanted to bring intelligent technology to a completely normal area of everyday life. So only the motor reaches 40 to 50 decibels. Decibels.

That's pretty quiet. That's really quiet, isn't it? What's that equivalent to? I don't know. Less than an electric toothbrush. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, way less. Way less.

Well, yeah, because as an electric toothbrush, would that be the same as a normal, I don't know. Probably. Yeah, right. A normal one. Well, yeah, because as an electric toothbrush, would that be the same as a normal, I don't know. Yeah, right. A normal one. 50 decibels.

I've only got. It says dishwasher. That's too late. A quiet suburb, conversation at home, and a large electrical transformer at 100 foot away. So you know those large electrical transformers have a hum? Yeah, it's more of a hum. Okay.

Yeah. Next time you think, is that the 100 foot away electrical large transformer? It's not. It's mum having a play with herself. Unless she's literally right beside you.

But it still looks, oh, actually it looks quite flash and like space age. Right. This one's maroon and gold. And she has had almost a thousand pre-orders on their online shop. It's won an innovation award too.

And now it, so she's like the James Dyson or the Apple of the vibrator world. Yeah, yeah. She is like the Dyson of the, wow. Because I've still, those bladeless fans blow my mind. Oh, they're great. Yeah. But you're right though. Like when you get older and you like might inherit all this money,

everyone's like, oh, what's your family fortune from? Oh, my mum was quite a fan of silent masturbation. So she used her engineering know-how. But that's like the ad. I watched the ad for this yesterday. And it showed a range. The ad was in the news story. Oh, right.

Showing it. Okay. It showed a range of other adult fun toys. Right. And I'd never thought about how bloody noisy they are, especially the one that twists around at the top. And it's got like a barrel of pearls in the shaft. Okay, yeah.

It was like, like a food and sinkerator in the sink. If your flatmate's got one of those happening in the flat, it's going to interfere with the TV reception, isn't it? Yeah, it must be pumping out some electrical interference. Especially if you live in an old house. Mind you can blame it on the pipes if you live in an old house. What's that? Pipes.

Pipes. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Welcome to today's Top Six. It's a mournful Top Six as the Silver Ferns have had a shock loss to Malawi at the Commonwealth Games. Brennan Telford still commentated about a netball at the Commonwealth Games. He probably loves a netball. He would have been heartbroken. So they're out?

You can't come back from that, can you? They play Scotland on Monday and England on Wednesday. So if they win both of those, I think they still get through. Oh, okay. All right. But they were beaten 57-53 by Malawi and the Malawi... Malawian? Malawians.

Malawianese. Malawianese. I like that one. Crikey, they were happy. I bet they were. Yeah. They were so very, very happy. It's a huge country, though.

Yeah, it's got 18 million people. So, you know, you can find how many in a netball team? 10, 11, 7, 6? I don't know. Seven on court, but you'd want a few backups. You'd want a few backups. Surely you've got seven people out of eight point whatever million people to play netball. Get it done, but the Silver Ferns have lost.

Christine predicted this, by the way, my mum. Did she? She said they're not having a great season. And I tell you what, she jinxed them. Media commentators have been quick to call for heads to roll. Ooh, okay. So the top six other teams that would have had a good shot

against the Silver Ferns in the pool round of the Commonwealth Games. Number six, the Mainland Tactics. Right. That's an ANZ premiership joke. Because last year they played 15 games and only won two. Oh, yowch. Oh, okay. Oh, yowch.

Okay, ouch. Number five on the list of the top six other teams that would have had a good shot against the Silver Ferns at the Commonwealth Games, the Kandala Primary Under-7s netball team. And they don't even know the rules properly yet and they're prone to crying. Oh, yeah.

Tough break. Are they allowed to stand on top of each other on shoulders? I'd allow it. Yeah, you'd allow it because it's cute. I'd allow it as long as they had one netball uniform to cover them both. Like a long netball uniform. Number four on the list of the top six other teams that could have been in the Silver Ferns at the Commonwealth Games.

A bunch of netballs playing netball, and they don't have any arms. But they could bounce themselves through the... That would be confusing for the Silver Ferns. They'd be like, which one's the player? Which one's the actual ball? Yeah, right. And then they grab a player, and the player's like, how dare you?

We don't all look the same. And they're like, I'm so sorry. Number three on the list of the top six teams that could have won against the Silver Ferns at the Commonwealth Games, the Shore Ravers. Now, this is a North Shore-based Golden Oldies netball squad. Oh, there'd be some experience in that unit. Well, the oldest team member's 71.

Yep. The Ravers are a group of friends from all over New Zealand. They've travelled to the world playing various Golden Oldies sports events. And their favourite event so far has been the Gold Coast Golden Oldies because there were daiquiri makers on the sideline. Are you kidding? Which, of course, helped us all play a little bit better, they say. And we're looking forward to seeing what Christchurch has got in store for us

at the end of the year with the Golden Oldies tournament. That's right. That's coming up. Okay. Daiquiri's side of court. You get stitched. It'll be backdrafts or quick Fs, wouldn't it be? On the side of the court.

Oh, well, that's a Miduri and a Bailey's. That's what makes a QF. Yeah, that's true. A delicious little halftime refresher. Number two on the list of the top six teams that could have beaten the Silver Ferns at the Commonwealth Games. The KPMG Tuesday Night Netball Squad, who actually think they're better than the Silver Ferns on a lot of ways.

They take it very seriously. Too seriously for a social grade. If you don't make the practice, you don't make the cut. Oh, fair enough. That's them. Fair enough. Julie's in charge of that team. Yeah, Julie. She runs a tight unit. Okay. Is she head accountant? I know she's not even an accountant. She's

in like the reception team. Oh, okay, right. It's where she it's her strength. Okay. It's where she comes to the court. Okay. Excuse the pun. And the number one in today's top six

of the other teams that would have had a good shot against the Silver Ferns at the Commonwealth Games, Fletcher's all-male indoor netball squad who are mainly there for the Bacardi Bruises afterwards.

Thank you, yes. But play their little hearts out. Oh, we're fierce. We're a fierce team. You are a fierce unit. Fierce, but fair. Yeah. Fierce, but fair. Yeah. Fierce, but fair.

Even the ref. We don't have a go at the ref. No. Well, they're volunteering. Let's not forget. Let's not forget. They're volunteers giving up their time.

They're not there to be screamed at. That's today's top six. FEM. Got a bit of a bit of a raspy bit of a tickle?

A bit of a tickle? It's a pain.le Situation It's a pain Okay It's a pain in the butt cough Right Building And I was coughing yesterday And my wife said

Do you want a fisherman's friend? Okay Do you want to have a fisherman's friend? They are nasty They're really strong They're strong Not a huge They're not pleasant

They're congestant And I said You're becoming your father Because he's always got a fisherman's friend And if you just go He'll be like Do you got a fisherman's friend. And if you just go, he'll be like, do you want a fisherman's friend? Just straight away. Just like that.

He's always got a packet on him. And she said, oh, he gave me these packets when he was here. Right. He said, you take these. I've got more. I said, he's always got fisherman's friends. Is it at least the black currant flavour? No.

Oh, no. Straight down the line. Menthol. Oh, yum. What else is in it? Eucalyptus oil and something else. Do they actually do anything other than just make you feel better? They don't do much for my throat, but they'll clear the old nose

just because of how strong they are. You don't understand why they're even called that. It's not like they've got fish breath. I looked it up. Right. Do you want to know? Yeah. So the Northern Sea fishermen used to go out to sea. It'd be very, very cold, and they'd all get like a cough and a sniffle. Yeah. So the Northern Sea fishermen used to go out to sea.

It'd be very, very cold, and they'd all get like a cough and a sniffle. Yeah. And this guy had it in an oil form. And when they came back in, they'd take it, and they'd just like, the oil's a pain to take on the boat. So he worked on a tablet to take with them, and they're like, oh, these are our friends. And he's like, oh, fisherman's friend.

I'll call them. And that's why they're called fisherman's friends. And now that's why your father-in-law eats them by the dozen. He loves them. Daily. Loves a fisherman's friend, I'll call them. And that's why they're called fisherman's friends. And now that's why your father-in-law eats them by the dozen. He loves them. Daily. Loves a fisherman's friend. And I said, you're becoming your dad because you've always got a fisherman's friend on you. And she said, yeah, like your mum with her blistex pottle.

I said, beg your pardon? She said, your mum's always got a spare blistex pottle. Oh. In case. For randoms. Just to use. Not for randoms. For fam.

She wouldn't be throwing it out there for anybody. But then. She's always got a little bottle of Blistex. And they'll get to keep that. Yep. I've actually. Would she give me a Blistex? Although I'm anti-Blistex.

Because I think it's addictive. I don't use it. I use other stuff. It's not Blistex. I use it for. Yeah, but it's still addictive. So I don't know why you've just chosen one drug over another. No, that one's...

There's something in it. Every time I've used it, it just makes... I only use it in the sun, so I don't get burnt lips. I don't use it... Because they've got an SPF in it, the one you're using. It does, yeah. Thanks, Megan. Thank you.

I use it for its SPF factor, rather than its constant moisturising of one's lips. My mum Bev will always have a hanky in her handbag. A spare hanky? A spare hanky. Does she say keep the hanky or does she want that back? No, she'll say keep it, but obviously rewash it. Where are mums buying hankies from?

I don't know. They've fallen right out of favour, haven't they? Have you ever owned a hanky? No, I've got tissues. The millennial killed the hanky. Yeah. Yeah. My mum used to have, do you know those chocolate bars, Summer Rolls?

It's like got no gum. Yes. I think so. They're a real hunger killer right? Like if you're really getting a little hangry. For some reason

she literally always has one of those in her handbag. And when we were little we'd be like I don't know. I do not know. It is.

It's the ultimate hanger hanger killer. It's got chocolate and coconut on the outside. Yeah. I think it's her favourite

but like we would be out and we'd be hungry and she'd be like, here's the summer roll. Well, it saves you buying, because that's what, we're out in the kitchen, like, we're hungry. You always end up buying them, like, a food roll, like a bus, and they eat three bites and they're like, I'm not hungry anymore. And you've just wasted all that money. So if you've got a summer roll in the old handbag, pull that out.

That'll suffice. That'll get them through to the next meal. And it's never anything else. It's purely that one chocolate bar. She wouldn't go a picnic or a crunchy. Oh, God, no. I'm just looking. You can get a 36-pack of summer roll on Trade Me for $44.

That's over a dollar. If I'm buying in bulk, I like things to be under a dollar. Yeah. But, yeah, you can still get those. Right. And the producers are both Anya. What does Willa always have on her? She's always got two staple items, a hanky and some Vaseline.

Um, what? What? Why would she have the Vas? No, she gets cracked lips. Oh, she's old school. Petroleum jelly. Those two are isolated items That's terrible for your lips

That's 80s lip care She needs to ditch the vas How big is the pottle? Like one of those big dogs? Oh well she's got a big dog at home And just a travel size for the handbag A travel size vas for the handbag But also handy to have

Handy to have in times of chafing Yeah Oh yes It is James what about your mum? I think a Hanky's a mainstay Yeah

And also I think I used to remember It was salt sachets But only because my grandma Always had salt in everything And we'd be with grandma And grandma would be like Oh you know Not enough salt

Not enough salt for my ham sandwich And mum's like Oh here you go She'd have a salt sachet Not enough salt for my ham sandwich. And mum's like, oh, here you go. She'd have a salt sachet. That's pretty good. She's taking seasoning. And there's no finer white person seasoning than salt. She takes her seasoning seriously.

So true. So this is what we want to ask you this morning. What does your mum always have in her handbag ready to go? Or dad. It might be dad. Yeah, dad might have one of those man bags. Immerse. He might just have. Yeah, dad might have one of those man bags. Immerse. He might just have big pockets or cargo

pants. Sure. 0800 dials at M9696. What does mum always have in her handbag? We're talking about what your mum and dad have always got on them. Yep. And maybe one day you'll aim to be a mum or a dad or an older person that's always

got something on them. Have you started doing this, Megan? Yeah, because I'm the one everyone comes to for like Panadol or like a pen. But I'm getting there. I think it's when you have kids. Yeah. You really start. Really ramp it up. Yeah, you really ramp it up.

Some text messages in on it. Mum always has dental floss in her purse. Nothing worse than having it stuck in your teeth all day. And you can do a lot with dental floss. Yeah, you can sew up clothes with it. Mum always has dental floss in her purse. Nothing worse than having it stuck in your teeth all day and you can do a lot with dental floss. Yeah, you can sew up clothes with it. You can make shoelaces. You can do a suture if someone wants to get a flesh wound.

Sometimes it's not minty. Minty. It'd be a minty suture. That wound is either infected or... Oh no, it's minty. Somebody said, my Asian mother always carries five pairs of wooden takeaway chopsticks in her bag and will often refresh her cache of chopsticks

by grabbing a few at a takeaway. Do you know I used chopsticks the other day and I split them apart and rubbed them together and I was like, secret sound. Because mum found the thought of us eating noodles or dumplings

without chopsticks abhorrent. And she did not want to see her children using a fork. How dare you. How dare you. Somebody said, my mum always has peppermints. Someone else said, my mum always has crackers. Crack, like a lip snack.

Oh, I don't know. I haven't considered a cheese-based dipping or spread to go with it. Maybe just a sun-rise cracker. Probably Huntley and Palmer's and the big, oh yeah, a water, a water. What are those called? Water crackers? Yeah, they love a big old dry gross cracker, don Huntley and Palmer's in the big... Oh, yeah. A water... What are those called? Water crackers? Yeah, they love a big old dry gross cracker, don't they? With a bubble in it.

Yeah, and you bite into it and half the cracker was air. Yes. Charlotte, what's mum always got in her purse? She's always got a pad, like a notepad and a pen and the pharmacy. What do you mean the pharmacy? Like a selection of medication. She's got Panadol She's got Voltaren

Fisherman's Friend Oh there we go Might be like an antiseptic wipe Mum's got everything She's got like a first We don't often travel with mum anymore But it's great when you do It's sort of a purse based first aid kit

Yeah I think she needs a cross on her handbag Just in case anybody needs a first aid kit Let's call it a purse aid kit. Yeah, I think she needs a cross on her handbag just in case anybody needs a first aid kit. Let's call it a purse aid kit. A purse aid. Brilliant. Charlotte, thanks for your call.

Tanya, what's mum always got on her purse? She has everything. In fact, she's now gone to a backpack purse because it got too heavy. A backpack? Oh, yeah.

Put your shoulder out. I love a backpack purse. Okay. Is it a sort of a leathery backpack purse? Yes. Okay, and so what's in there? Screwdrivers.

You know, the little cakes you get at Christmas? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, the Christmas cracker screwdrivers. They're great for tightening a pair of spectacles. You never know when you've got to tighten something. Envelopes, old envelopes, because you never know when you have to write something down.

Okay. A snap-lock bag with things like salt and pepper, equal, toothpaste. Equal! I was about to say, that's my mum always has equal tabs. She's got one in hers and one in dad's cup of tea. Yep, yep, yep. Handy, handy. Mums love an equal tab.

The hand sanitiser. Oh, yep. You'd be mad to go anywhere without it these days. Absolutely. It's the sort of backpack mum probably couldn't take on a plane then because it sounds like it's got sharp objects in there. Oh, there's a Swiss Army knife, but she does pack that in her luggage that goes underneath.

It goes underneath the plane. She's thought of everything. Tanya, thanks for your call. Not a problem. Bye. A couple of text messages. My mum always has a knife in her kete in case she comes across some awesome harakeke flax. Oh, nice. Always got to be prepared for a little flax harvest on the fly. Okay. Although there

have been times we've gone to the airport and mum's forgotten to take her flax knife out of her bag. Yeah, post 9-11 world. Flax knives not allowed. And finally, my mum always has one of those flick out extendable police batons. What for?

Just in case, she says. You'll go into a bag to get something and you'll be harshly reminded your mum could kneecap you at any stage. Is that allowed? They said, I'm pretty sure the type she's got is illegal for the public

to have. It sounds like a Southeast Asian trip, doesn't it? Somebody brought back some weaponry from Thailand. Thailand special. So she's never had to use it.

Someone's going to tango with that mum one day and she's just going to reach in and be like, what? Either that or she'll pull it out of her purse and smack herself in the face

until it extends. I hope she practices. It's important to keep fluid and know how that thing works and keep it well greased. We are joined on the phone by the author of a book called Bachelor Nation, Inside the World of America's Favourite Guilty Pleasure. Amy, good morning. Hi. Tell us about this book.

You're a huge fan of The Bachelor, but ABC, not a huge fan of your work on The Bachelor. No, I work for the LA Times, and for a while I was covering The Bachelor for the paper and, you know, was in good with the show. And then suddenly my access was revoked one day, and when my editor inquired as to what was going on, they said that they thought my stuff was too negative and so I would no longer be granted access to anything show related.

So what kind of insights do you know about The Bachelor? Because people always say, oh, the producers make me do this or make me say this. What kind of things have you seen in your experience? Yeah, I mean, you you know it's hard to tell when we see we do we hear so many contestants be like i was edited to look a certain way or i was convinced into doing this i mean listen ultimately you sign a contract that says you're aware you're going to be edited and you know that you could be manipulated by producers. So it's a question of, you know,

what is sort of the moral responsibility of producers to treat people a certain way once they sign up for the show? Can you really know what you're getting into when you sign on the dotted line? Are the producers bad people or, you know, have they been told, you get us the ratings and the best way to get ratings is to have these high drama situations. Get them however you can.

Or you've got no job. No, I don't think these people are bad people. I mean, they have a show to make. Their main goal is to make something entertaining. But of course, you would hope that that didn't come at the expense of hurting people. Do you think the public are desens, desensitized to, you know, people's emotions now? Because a lot of people come out from these reality shows

and they're like, oh, my life has been ruined, and everyone's like, oh, whatever, we had fun watching you, you signed up for this kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, one of the biggest things I took away from writing a book and meeting so many people who have been on the show is that, not surprisingly, they were completely different than how they had been portrayed. And it made me really reflect on why I've been so judgmental sitting on my couch.

You know, it's easy when you're with your friends and sitting around to sort of pile on and say like, oh, she's crazy. Or I would never act like that. But you have to remember that there's editing involved. They're in a completely foreign, weird, isolated situation. And we really have nothing to compare it to. And how much, because you always hear, you know, the plying of alcohol and fueling the fire, how much of that is, you know, reality,

as that is happening behind the scenes? I mean, yeah, there's an open bar at your disposal, and of course, it's not like they're, like, pouring shots down your throat, but sometimes producers will drink with the cast to, like, loosen up the environment, and people are bored, and they want to feel more comfortable

being in a foreign situation. They're on TV, there's cameras around, so they start drinking, and I don't think your intention is to get wasted, but you're by the pool, it's 12 p.m., you have a drink, and then by 8 o'clock, maybe you've gotten drunker than you wanted to. Exactly. Well, Bachelor Nation, Inside the've gotten drunker than you wanted to. Exactly.

Well, Bachelor Nation, Inside the World of America's Favourite Guilty Pleasure is out. Thanks so much for having a chat to us, Amy. Thank you. Talk to you later. Would like to talk about a study now. It's conducted by the Council of Contemporary Families. This is in the US, but I think this would go worldwide.

Okay. So they have looked into a new study and found that lower sexual satisfaction in women is often due to the other half not sharing chores. Oh, yeah. This is amateur stuff. So they have said the biggest thing to come out of this whole study is that men should do the dishes more often. Specifically the dishes. Specifically the dishes. It's an everyday chore.

Yeah. It's not like vacuuming. This is not a problem in my house. Men do the dishes every day. Me or the cat. Man does the dishes. Man, singular me, does the dishes every day. See, I like to do the dishes because I'll say it bravely when I know she's not listening

that I am better at the dishes. So this counts, you're talking about stacking the dishwasher, right? Oh, yes. So this counts too. I don't even like you to do it. Just leave it on the bench, please. I'm not even talking about like washing the dishes and putting them on the bench and then drying them with the tea towel.

See, my technique there is even better and my stacking ability is even better. And my weak point is, okay, I've got a weakness. It's that I use too much bubbles. Yeah. And I love a drip dry. I love a drip dry. Oh, no, I don't like a drip dry.

I love a drip dry. Dry it with a towel. It's a weakness, I know. It's a weakness, I know, but I love a drip dry. So, well, your wife's done the classic don't get good at what you don't want to do. So you do the dishes all the time.

But yeah, this counts for if you're stacking the dishwasher, if you're doing them manually, whatever. If you do get the dishes done, clean up the dishes situation. So that matters most when it comes to the even distribution of household chores for women. most women who said they split the chores evenly or their partner did it more than them had a higher satisfaction, higher sexual satisfaction than women whose partners didn't. So, I mean, you could literally do nothing else in the house, probably, and do the dishes. And still get some.

And I reckon when they're in another room, just turn the vacuum cleaner on and then turn it off again a couple of minutes later and pretend you vacuumed. Is that going to work? Yeah. But the worst thing is, is when you get a list from your partner being like, hey, I dusted, I did the vacuuming, I did the dishes, I did this and that, and I hung the washing

out. You're like, cool, bro. What do you want now, a medal? Don't list it. Just do it and we'll notice. But it's like, we don't do that every time we tell you. What if you don't notice?

We've done all those things. Welcome to my world. What if what if I hang out the washing and I'm not immediately met with my wife and lingerie

as a reward system? It's like a dog does a good thing it gets a biscuit. Give me my biscuit. But then the survey is saying you literally don't even need to do the washing.

Just do the dishes. The single biggest source of satisfaction for me. Because if we're doing a house clean, I'll do the bathrooms because, you know, that's not glamorous cleaning. And I get right involved. I get in my undies. This is how intensely I clean in the bathroom.

Because there's Jeff everywhere. There's Jeff, there's Mr. Moussal. I believe he's Jif everywhere. Yeah. There's Jif, there's Mr. Moussa. I believe he's the French version. I got my undies in the shower with the exit mould.

Oh no, you'll die. You'll die. That's gotta be well ventilated. Oh shit, I was high after that. You don't have

enough good ventilation in there. I know. I wouldn't even get in the shower with Jif to be honest without the door open because the fumes seemed to really circulate in there.

Yeah, right. Okay. So given that you do the dishes, you do the dishes probably majority of the time. Majority of the time. And I do them well. Would you get away with only doing the dishes though? No. Oh, no.

I'd still be asked to do other chores. Yeah. That's your everyday chore though. Yeah. But then I don't just do the dishes. I commentate me doing the dishes. Oh, God. Right, okay.

Maybe that's what you got wrong. Last night's was, well, Vaughn's having to take the knives out of the cutlery drawer because someone didn't wash, rinse the peanut butter off the knife and it's got sticky from breakfast. Who's not rinsing the knife before they put it in? She doesn't rinse the knives. What is she, a monster? She gets it from her mother.

A couple of crazy monsters. Oh, don't. She's out rinse the knives. What is she, a monster? She gets it from her mother. A couple of crazy monsters. Oh, don't. Her mother is a terrible dishwasher stacker as well. I've discussed this with... Don't say that to your wife. Don't say that. I have. I said, you get this terrible trait from your mother.

You've always got to wash stuff before it goes in the dishwasher. You've got to rinse it. Especially peanut butter. And how do you think the sexual satisfaction in your household is at the moment? No, I'll forego sex to give someone a good dishwasher dressing down. If it means you're not reclaiming peanut butter of knives. Yeah. Yeah.

If I'm really desperate, I'll be like, and I'll say to myself, what's the peanut butter? Oh, I can't do it. Would you please rinse the goddamn peanut butter off the knives? And there it goes. And put all the knives together. It's out the window. Don't separate the knives.

They want to be, they're a family. Put them in the same part of the basket. I don't need sex today. Fletchborn and Megan's Community Notices. I'm going to have to whisper, I'm ready now, whenever I want. I'm ready. I'm ready. It's so creepy. That's why we wait for you. Yeah, it's very creepy. I'm going to have to whisper, I'm ready now, whenever I... I'm ready. I'm ready. It's so creepy.

That's why we wait for you. Yeah, it's very creepy. I'm ready. Welcome to Community Notices, the segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around the country via community notice boards. Things for sale, the buy, sell, swap pages, the local... When you hear a police siren, I immediately go to mine, wait for the goss. It's a real haven for nosy people like me.

We had a lot sent in over the last week. What an influx over our week break. I'm going to start with this one. Sent this so many times. This comes from Chanel for the Mount Maunganui Notice Board. Car for sale for free. Has a recent warrant of fitness and registration and has been regularly serviced.

I have the service history. It drives very well. It had a full service two months ago. I've owned this car for six months. And before that, Step DSD, so that might be like Step Dad, but like typo, Step Dad owned it for years. What's wrong?. Why is it?

What's wrong? Someone die in it? Sadly, this car is possessed. Oh, okay. And it's cost me money to repair it. It seems to like males and not females. There is a negative spirit attached to the car, which is a male.

However, he made me physically ill and robbed my bank accounts. New owner needs to be made aware of this spiritual presence. Right. I'm based in Tauranga and I want it gone ASAP. It's registered to me. I'll even pay for change of ownership. Pick up in Tauranga.

Wow. Well, you won't be surprised. It's gone. Already. Someone's just come in there and snaffled up this free car. It looks really nice. It's a Holden station wagon. Right.

Holden Commodore V6 executive wagon. So she believes in all the ghosts and the... Yeah, it's all good. Well, it's ghosted up, but somebody's taken it off their hands and have told her, she's given an update to the page, saying they've promised to get it a blessing. Okay. Okay.

To remove. That's good. So I'd do that too for a free car. I'd go along with that for a free car. It's very serious. I've actually had, I've been in the ghost, I've seen ghostbusters, I guess is what you'd say. I'm aware of it.

This one, I can't say what page it comes from because it's secret. Admin delete if not allowed. Okay, ladies. My 17-year-old son has come home for the weekend, and him and his mates went hunting. He was up a tree, and this happened from a branch last night. I've told him he has to go to hospital, but he's like, nah, F that, mum. So I'm very worried about him.

What do you ladies think? Please no negative feedback. This is my son's scrotum. Oh, my God! I don't think... Picture of bleeding scrotum. Oh, my God. Was she like, wait there, son.

I've got to get a picture. Let me get the tablet. I've got to take a photo of this. That's not right. You've got to go to the doctor. Why would you not go to hospital with that giant gash on your balls? Is that, from this distance, is it just a cut or is there a stick in there? Oh, no, no, no.

It's, it doesn't look like a deep cut. It looks like, there's definitely a wound of sorts. I don't know how deep it goes. They've seen worse at A&E. That's what you tell yourself, eh? Yeah. Oh, you'd have to. And they would have.

It's not like a horrendous scrotal injury. They definitely would have seen worse. From there to the boycott, boycott online garage sale where somebody has decided to set up a page initially to boycott a garage sale page, but now this page is the boycott the boycott garage. Okay. We'll get in deep.

For sale, $99 is a fish and pickle fridge frizzer. What are they paying by word? By letter? Fish and pickle fridge and frizzer. Still in good condition. Fridge and frizzer. Spacious. Just needs a clean. Fridge and frizzer. Spacious. Just needs a clean.

How do they know how to spell spacious but not freezer? Or fisher and pikel. No, they're just writing in a Kiwi accent. Fish and pikel. I mean, they could be

going for cute points and they're nailing the cute points because that's very, very cute. But if anybody wants a fish and pickle fridge frizzer.

This one from the New Zealand fishing community. Jason writes on there, you never know what a day will bring today. We were three kilometres off Bland Bay and we found a bag of weed floating. And it attaches there the snappers that he's caught. Four very lovely looking, legally sized snappers.

The width of his kayak. And then underneath it, a Ziploc baggie with three big bundles. Sticky buds. Of sticky buds and a lighter and a little... Someone's cannabis pipe there. See, when you said that, I thought it was a drug deal. Like a massive bails. But that's just somebody, some fisherman who's had an overboard whoopsie.

This isn't Miami. No. This is just... Up north? Mm. Well, you just... You wouldn't lose a bale of weed up north This isn't Miami. No. This is just up north. Well, you just... You wouldn't lose a bale of weight up north, that'd be. I'd like to ask myself, what would Clark Gafer do?

Fisherman. Host of the fishing shows. Hey, hey, turn that off for a minute. Turn that off for a minute. Just going to make some calls to the old connections. Before I was, you know... Hello, you boy. Have I got a deal for you?

This one comes from the Rolleston community page. Karen writes, our magpie's gone missing. Do they actually, is it theirs? It's their pet magpie. How you'll be able

to identify our magpie is it can wolf whistle and also whistle the verses and chorus to Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5. I need to hear that. Loves footballs too.

So if you see a magpie playing with a football, whistling moves like Jagger, and then it catcalls you, you need to get a hold of Karen in Roleston because she's lost her magpie. And finally, from the Auckland Buy, Sell and Swap page, someone says, Hey guys, bit of a problem. This came in over Easter weekend.

My boyfriend has an infected tooth and we can't get the dentist till Tuesday. An emergency dentist has told us that we should get some very strong painkillers but can't write the prescription over the long weekend. So I was just wondering if anyone on here has extremely strong painkillers for sale for him to take in the meantime.

PM me if you can help. To which Susie responds, you're the same person that posted last week you had a sore back and needed very, very strong painkillers. I feel like you should perhaps go and see somebody. Get some help. Yeah, get some help. Oh, that's actually sad, isn't it?

I know, it is really sad. And that's a lot about the community pages. Like the person who wanted to swap six drumsticks for two ciggies. Like that's sad that somebody's... Oh my God, get a good coating. You don't need two ciggies. I know. Get a good coating bank.

I've never been addicted to... Ciggies. Have you had panko breadcrumbs on a drumstick? That I can see myself going through a pack a day off, you know? Like a real proper addiction.

That actually reminded me I've lost a bit of my tooth right at the back or a filling's come out. I can feel it. Can we get a group discount at some sort of dental trip? Can we go to Thailand

or something? Because I've got a couple of absolutely buggered teeth. Let's go to Thailand. Okay. We'll say it's for the show. It's a work thing. Yes. We'll take it's for the show. It's a work thing. Yes.

We'll take a winner or something. I don't know. Pick someone with all like mangler ganglers and we'll get a bit of a whoo whoo

thanks guys sort of moment. People love that sort of stuff. Are we still on air? We are. God, I've really undone all that good work.

I make myself sound like a monster. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screencap it and send it to us. We're FVMZM on Facebook. FVM.

I had a wee moment where, we've been married, what, three months? Yep. Just over three months. Yeah. And I was trying to hide something to spare my husband a bit of... Oh, the secret to any long and happy marriage is lying.

Just knowing when to, how to, what to lie about. So I just wanted to like, I didn't want this to ruin his day. So I was being like, you know, a good wife. Thoughtful. Thoughtful. You'd say thoughtful. Yeah. So we were last week, actually, he was like recording some music.

He was having a great day. I went to go visit and I parked the car. Was like, this is great. There is like heaps of car parks around. It's all good. I'll just park it here. I'm not going to be long. I'll be 20 minutes max.

Boosted up there and I did leave five minutes before him. I was like, I'll go get the car. That's when I walked out and I was like, oh my God, my car's been stolen. I was like, oh no, what am I going to like? Oh no. It was, I literally, I was like, how, first of all, how do people steal cars these days? Like. Oh, is this the new car?

Yeah. Right. Because it's got a beeper this the new car? Yeah. Right. Because it's got a beeper and everything. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So I was just like panicking, thinking, okay, well, I'm going to have to call the police. Like, yeah, I don't know how we're going to get home.

And that's when I saw the tow truck drive back past me with the car on the back of it. Oh, no. So I ran out onto the road. Yeah, go on. I ran out onto the road. I waved him down I was like please please

That's my car Pull over So you know how like If you wave them down Sometimes you can get it A bit cheaper Like half price Yeah

No isn't that Before they get to the yard Yeah but or Isn't it when it's When they're loading it on They'll give it to you For half price Do they always

Is it sort of like They put that money In their pocket though And they're like Oh by the time I got their boss She was all gone mate Oh I'd be doing that all the time.

So I pulled him over and I was like, hey, first of all, can we do this really quickly because my husband's about to pop out from that building. Let's get this off the trailer real quickly. And I was like, plus do I get a discount? And he's like, what do you mean, a discount? I'm towing your car. I was like, well, you haven't got to the yard yet,

so that's a little bit of petrol saved. Did you go push up the burpees? We were like, I'm sure we're going to I was like, well, you haven't got to the yard yet, so that's a little bit of petrol saved. Did you go, push up the burpees? We were like, I'm sure we're going to come to some sort of agreement. He's like, why are you doing that? I don't know why I held him. And that's when he's like, I'm New Zealand's only. Why are you squeezing them like that? You squeeze them up and together, don't you?

Not physically with your hands. That doesn't, oh, that looks like a bit of fever. That's really hot. But it's very hairy. I didn't want to embarrass myself. He might have been New Zealand's only gay toey. Exactly. So that's really hot. But it's very hairy. I didn't want to embarrass myself. He might have been New Zealand's only gay toey. Exactly. So that's not working.

Wow, we're all a little bit gay. Everyone's a little bit gay, yeah. Even toey's. Thank you for saying the only reason he wouldn't be into this was because he was gay. I was trying to make you feel better because obviously it didn't work, did it? So he did actually give it to me a little bit cheaper.

But I was like, get it off the track. How much would he have a mobile F-Bus machine? No, he printed out a ticket. He printed out a ticket for me. Oh, and he's like, you pay this. Yeah. How much? It was $120.

Jesus! But like, if you get it, if you have to get it from the tow yard, isn't it like almost $300? And the longer you leave it there, they charge you even more. Yeah. So I was like, first of all, I don't know why you towed it.

I was parked just over there. Like, as you can see, heaps of car parks. He's like, oh, it's a clear way. I was like, that is not signposted very well. And that's when he pointed to the sign. I was like, there it is. That's okay. That needs to be done.

Doing your job. So did you, you tried to get away with it, but you. I just said to him, I was like, I'll pay this. Like, I'm all good with this. I'm not being awful, but can you just really do it really fast? Because then I could pretend

that I just pulled up outside, got the car, nothing had even happened. Yep. And I could just silently pay the... Pay it later. Pay it online.

And yeah, it didn't work because Andrew popped out right at the moment where he's like getting it off the back of the tow truck. And was he angry? He was like, why is this being towed?

You could have been like, oh, I thought it had broken down. I couldn't think of anything. He's like, why is this being towed? I was like, well, you're not supposed to park over there right now. Oh no. But it was only,

it's a, yeah, 120 bucks. So it could have been way worse, but I did try and hide it. It could have been. Oh, no. But it was only, it's, yeah, 120 bucks, so. It could have been way worse. But I did try and hide it. It could have been like 300, yeah. Yeah, just to avoid the absolute punishment. So if you could have got away with this,

you would have paid it online and he would not have. 100%. But what about joint accounts? Would he not have seen that? I mean, maybe. You'd make it. But I still would have tried.

Can you pay in person? Or cash? You could make a cash withdrawal and save us for something else. Groceries, but then you forgot them. Pay it from your own bank account, your old bank account.

Withdraw the money from the countdown when it's like, get extra money out. Yes, and just say bananas. I did a big shop. I did a big shop.

And he's like, this isn't $120. Inflation. Oh, it's out of control. Have you seen the price of bananas? Because of the tropical storms. I needed it to get off the truck

and I was going to worry about the payment later. Right, but it didn't happen. You busted though. Busted. Totally busted. Having the hiding things from the partner, I'd like to hear from people who have maybe even actually got away with it. Yeah. To this day.

You've committed the perfect crime. Maybe it was a... What's a classic, and I've done this, is a dent in the car, and then you just don't say anything about it. And then later on they spot it after it's been driven a couple more times. And you say, it could be you.

I don't know. No, because I don't blame them. I'm like, probably some inconsiderate person in the car park. That's what I say. Even though I backed into something. Is that what you said after you backed into the thing the other week? Oh, no, she doesn't care about that car. That's just my shitty car. You're rough and tumble. Yeah, I backed into something. Is that what you said after you backed into the thing the other week? Oh, no, she doesn't care about that car. That's just my shitty car.

You're rough and tumble. Yeah, I backed into a bollard. The bumper bounced out, but the dent in the boot didn't. Did you apologise to the shop whose bollard it was? Nah. Do they even know? It was a silly place for a bollard. No, the bollard didn't even move.

That's the job of a bollard. I'm not apologising to a bollard owner. They should have said, sorry for putting the bollard didn't even move. That's the job of a bollard. I'm not apologising to a bollard owner. They should have said, sorry for putting the bollard in a stupid place. It didn't move at all. No, it didn't. It just stood its ground. It made an almighty crunch, though.

So 0800 dial ZM. We want to take some calls now and some texts. 9696. What have you tried to hide from your partner? Or maybe you did hide something, like Megan's getting towed, and you got away with it. A little white lie.

Yeah, I mean, not like, we don't want, like, cheating. Like, I cheated with my husband eight times. It's not that kind of story. And he's not caught me yet. I mean, if you want to admit to that, fine. 0800-DARLS-ZM-9696. We're talking about what you've tried to get away with

with your partner. Maybe you did get away with it. Megan did not get away with getting the car towed. Almost. You were only a couple of minutes away. Totally close. He was just taking it off when you got busted. So we want to know what you've got away with.

I just had to Google this car's very flash. I curbed the wheels on my partner's new Mercedes C63 AMG. I googled that. Just new Mercedes was all we needed. I just read Mercedes and I was out of the game. Sounds flash. I convinced him that he must have done it himself. But to this day, he believes he did that.

I swear I didn't hear or feel any nudge there. You'd just hear that if you ran the coop. I got away with buying myself a $300 saddle for my horse by labelling the transaction as a daycare payment in our internet banking. But it would have gone to a... I don't know how you'd get away with that. Crafty. Very crafty.

My mum hit a massive burn in the carpet from my dad until the day we moved out of the house. It had been there for like four years. She just rearranged the furniture. And she said to dad, oh, I've just decided we needed a change. Same with the flat. You can do that in a flat until you move out

or there's an inspection. Yeah. You can only cover holes in the wall with posters until you move out. Until for so long. Amanda, do you get away with this? I have. So. For so long. Amanda, do you get away with this? I have. So far, so good.

To this day, your husband doesn't know what? Well, he won a car as part of a competition for a year. Okay. But he already had a work car, so I was the one that was allowed to drive it, and it was a really expensive car. I was out for work early one morning in the industrial area and as I was leaving I reversed into something I don't know what I got out, looked at the back of the car

I don't know what a small child, I don't know, something yeah, I don't know maybe a post anyway, I looked at the back of the car and there was nothing there it was fine, it was about 6 o'clock in the morning really dark

so yeah, just carried on as normal. Didn't open the boot, obviously, until the next day. And my husband took it to the supermarket and came out furious because he'd got to the supermarket, put the groceries in and seen this huge, big dent on the back of the car. And came in and I was just like, I don't remember doing anything. And then realised that actually must have been what I'd done the day before. Oh, so you actually convincingly lied without knowing you'd forgotten.

I didn't. Yeah, I'd forgotten. And then, like, I think it was a couple of hours later, I was like, oh, my God. I actually hit something. But it's too late. So you're in the lie. Did he have to get it fixed and not tell them? Yeah, well, no, we couldn't because obviously it's not our car.

So we had to pay like, I think it was $1,000 insurance excess. But yeah. Oh, that's a bit much. The only reason I'm telling you is because I just left him to sleep in bed and I know he won't be listening. Take it to the grave. Yeah, great. Amanda, thanks for your call.

No problem. Thanks, guys. Amanda, thanks for your call. No problem. Thanks, guys. Some other text messages. When I was a student, I spent my course-related costs on something I shouldn't have. And my partner said, what happened to your course-related costs? I said, oh, that's a good question. He's like, well, ring StudyLink now and ask them. So I had to turn my phone on to silent and sit there and fake an entire phone conversation,

including a generous amount of time on hold. I was going to say say you'd be given up if you didn't have any waiting time. Yeah, and then I argued with myself. I once had an argument about how they'd put it in somebody else's bank account and I couldn't get it back. Oh, my God. Like, if you're going to the theatrics to act it out,

come up with a better lie while you're on fake hold. Yeah. That fake lie is terrible. Always going to be able to get it back. It's the 10th of April, 2018. For the record, Your Honour. For the record. A time, a place we live in with equal rights.

Now, Vaughan Smith. Do we? We're striving for equal rights, but are we there yet? You can drive now in Saudi Arabia. Vaughan Smith, rabid feminist. Yes, people have called me a rabid feminist. They have. Wow.

Imagine the slap in the face that I received upon learning today that there is a female-only outing here at ZM. A female-only outing here at ZM. A female only outing. An outing where to attend, one's gender must align with these so-called guidelines of a female outing. Yeah. After all the hard yards I've done for equality

and I'm being spat on because of my penis. My below average, as we found out yesterday, weird looking penis. Skinny. Apparently skinny now, add that to the list of its problems. Penis. Now, it's got me into some trouble in my life, but this is not where I thought I would end up.

I can't believe there is a family-only outing. So, bring your own. It's a BYO as well. Intern Anya, you broke the news this morning to Bourne and I. As a vagina owner, you're allowed to go on this trip. Anya, idiot. First rule about girls' trip, don't talk about it to Fletch and Vaughn. How long has this been planned for?

A while. Yeah. A while? It was planned for like a couple of weeks ago. We've been in the dark for two weeks. Unbelievable. So all the females here at ZM are going to a BYO, but not the blokes. No, we might talk women's marches

and oppression. We're going out on a Friday night to talk oppression. I don't know if you're going out to talk oppression. This was organised by Trin in the office. It's just like bonding. Well, what's her problem?

With what? She just doesn't want to deal with you 24-7. Somebody get Ross Boss in here. Oh, hi, Ross Boss. Wow, that was convenient. That was convenient. You just happened to be sitting there. Where do you stand on this situation?

I am shooketh. I am shooketh. Did you know? As a fellow diddle owner, I bet you are appalled. I am appalled, and I think we should take our diddles and go and give up. I like where this is heading.

Go and give ourselves some pay rises. Yes, yes, yes. Show these women. More seats at the board table. Extend the gender gap. Shook it. More middle management position. I mean, I wouldn't have gone.

Let's not beat around the bush. Absolutely not. Friday night, not. It is at 7pm. It's past your bedtime. That is so late. Get out. It's late, isn't it?

Right out of town. It's the fact that we weren't invited. Yeah, I shouldn't be banned from attending. Are you paying for this? Or are they paying for this? I hope they're paying for this. They've got my credit card details, though,, I shouldn't be banned from attending. Are you paying for this? Or are they paying for this? I hope they're paying for this. They've got my credit card details, though, so I can't trust them.

It does say on the invite that Ross is paying. No, I'm not. You're not aware of that. You know what they'll do. Well, it's a private group that men can't get into, so of course I don't know that. They'll pay 77% and then expect us to top up to some, I imagine, 13%.

God, how dare men be excluded from something? 23%. You're a man. You've got to get good maths. Oh, yeah, you're right there. As white men... No, I don't need to be good at maths, I'm a man. As three white middle-aged men, you are shooketh. Middle-aged?

What a big deal. I will just ask you to stop right there. Wow. Fletchers, but me and Fawn, we're quite cute. I actually, I'm right on that. I'm a millennial. Same. It feels good.

So what's happening now? We're at this kind of impasse. No, you're not. You're not invited. There's no impasse. I think we should ban it. Just ban it. Can't happen.

When men don't like something or don't understand it, ban it. But what's wrong with us going? What are you actually doing? It was just supposed to be a fun girls' bonding thing. And we'll probably talk about all of you. Yeah. Weekly now. That's just made it worse.

It's an HR issue now. It is an HR issue now. Fletch would hate it. We're going to talk about girly things. I mean, Vaughn would probably get into it, to be fair. You love a goss, don't you? I would be in there with a spade, loading up my trolley with goss.

Right, okay. So what's the outcome of this? Well, knowing you girls, you're going to blast it all over social media anyway, so we won't miss out on anything. And to be honest, we'll probably just tap, tap, tap, tap through those stories. Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip.

Yeah, but you'll have FOMO. That's what you'll have. You're watching sports to have FOMO. What, what you'll have. So if you're watching sports to have FOMO. What? Men. What cuisine? What cuisine? What cuisine?

Are we talking? Pizza. Italian. Basic. Don't say you're going to be watching sports either because the three of you don't know about sports. Warriors five in a row, mate. We'll be having a bubble bath on Friday night.

I'll be having... You'll be having a bubble bath on Friday night. I'll be having a bubble bath. My wife's going out for a girls' night on Friday. Is this some sort of female get-together? Is this some sort of secret get-together? Some sort of let's get all our ducks in a row and overthrow the patriarchy? Because I think it's time we armed up. Is there anything white men need more of in this world

it's guns. Let's arm up white men and be panicky. Panicky and fly to me and be ready to take offence even though we say everybody takes offence too easily. Guys I need to talk about Fortnite for a moment. The online

gaming sensation. How did you that I spent a week without in Fiji. How did you handle that? Well, I downloaded the mobile version and I played via Fiji's thriving 3G network. Right. It actually wasn't too bad, but I don't like playing on the mobile.

Have you got your roaming bill yet? No, I bought a SIM there. Oh, okay. And I bought myself the higher data package than I did my wife because she lent me in charge of purchasing the SIM cards. But that's equality, as we've mentioned before, isn't it? Yes, I believe so. I believe that's how equality works.

The man prioritises himself and then gives the woman the scraps. Where shall we start? Equality. So when I came home, I had a good splurge, had another one yesterday. Still very much loving a little bit of a fortnight. And I'm not the only one in the world. There's millions of people playing it. Have you got mates that you always play with?

I've got a new friend that I've met just through this game. His name's Eric. Eric. And he lives in Hawke's Bay. And he's my friend. How did he find you? How did he find you? His girlfriend heard us talking about it on air a while ago

and said, add this guy. And he's like, who's that? Which was a blow to the ego. But now that we're friends, it's okay now. Should we be worried about this new friend? Like, are you going to meet him in real life? I don't know. Maybe one day.

Unbelievable. You're not going to get into the friend, are you? So the reason being, because I just like the changing face of how people are making money, because remember when people were saying, oh, don't give up on filming yourself. That's bloody stupid,

filming yourself putting on makeup. And now makeup tutorial people make more money than all of us. Thousands and thousands. Yeah, I know. Makes a lot of money and works, Makeup tutorial people make more money than all of us. And now Shane XO. Yeah, I know. Killing it. Makes a lot of money and works, you know, got a successful sort of empire brewing.

Do you think her mum was like when she was at school, stop doing that. You need to go to university. No, I asked her. And she said her mum's always been like fully supportive. How do you get one of those? If you were saying to your mum, supportive mum. Our three mums could literally be the judging panel of an idol or talent show.

No, you're wasting all of our time. They'd all be Simon Cowell. If they were on Dragon's Den, no one would launch any new businesses. No, stupid. Bloody stupid. Don't talk rubbish. Get out me face. So a guy called Ninja has set a record.

He streams Fortnite. So basically, as a person who likes playing video games, I still can't understand why people will watch somebody else play video games when they could play the video game themselves. But is it because you need to get through a tough part of the game so you want to see someone do that? Fortnite's like Battle Royale. Like 100 people get dropped in and everybody fights till one person's alive. But isn't it just like watching a movie or a TV show?

He is like really good at it, so I can kind of see why. And I guess people watch, he actually played with Drake. Right. Drake and him had a game and heaps of people watched it. So according to a Forbes report on how many people are watching his videos that he uploads and streams via Twitch, a service that you can just stream your gaming so people can literally watch it as you're playing it, he would be making upwards of half a million dollars a month. A month.

To play video games. That's insane. Because don't they reckon that gaming is going to be at the Olympics? In like 10 years or five years? I guess it would just be what game makes the grade for the Olympics. That's so stupid. You know how I feel about that. It's so stupid. I had lots of people

message me, like young guys that were like, I don't want to talk to a girl, but can you tell that girl on the show she's being real mean? A quality girl on the show. Online gaming is a thing. Now I can't look at her in the eye, because the only person I look at in the eye is my mum when she's telling me to get off the TV

and I tell her to shut up. But the same thing, like if you were playing, like if you were just playing Fortnite and you're at school and mum was like, get off that and you're like, You're wasting your time. You're like, mum, I'm going to make money being a professional gamer.

And they make a lot of money. Yeah. Well, $500,000 a month. And that's just from streaming. Yeah. Streaming revenue, not how many companies would be falling over themselves. Because you see him. He's down in the corner.

Yeah. And the game's playing. How many companies would be falling over themselves? Like, you think about Formula One drivers. Yeah. When they get out and their helmets are covered in... Stickers. Racing sponsors.

Yeah. And they pay a fortune to be on all sports players. More people are watching this guy's Fortnite videos than are watching sports games or massive driving events where people are plastered in sponsors. What makes him special? Is he hot? Like, what's his shtick? Why is he so cool to watch?

It's okay to tell us if you find him hot. You know I would. You know I definitely would. And while he's a fine looking man, he's not my cup of tea. He's just really good and he can do this amazing thing where he plays video games and talks at the same time because I've tried it but then I realised I hadn't

talked for like five minutes because I was concentrating so hard. Yeah. I was like, oh this would be super boring to watch. Yeah, right. A guy who's already terrible at the game, not offering any good banter. Yeah, right. So, yeah, if you need an excuse, because my wife put up a photo on her

Instagram story on Saturday night when we got back. Literally, got back from Fiji, dragged the suitcases inside, got the kids into bed, sat down, turned on the PS4, got into some Fortnite she put a photo up on her Instagram story saying back into this

bullshit straight away she received so many messages from girls from women and a couple of guys who were like yeah I'm just waiting

for my girlfriend to get off and give me a turn because it's a thing there's a lot of girls involved in the gaming industry as well it's not primarily

a male dominated sport equality again it's been a theme of the show this morning. It really has been. We're doing so much for it. We're really doing great things. Yeah. So what are you saying here? Just keep playing Fortnite?

It's okay. That's an excuse. Just be like, Mama, the guy who's great at it is earning half a million dollars a month. If you earned that, we wouldn't live in this shithouse with bunghole internet. That's going to go down. By the way, I have never spoken to my mother

and an ounce of that disrespect because she would have socked me in the head. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is there are currently 15 different Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Poo many. Because, you know, you go travelling, sometimes you're like, oh, I've got to Google what they use. Yeah. And then, like, in South America, they all use the American one. Even that one is used in, like, Southeast Asia? Or is that the European one? Oh, I've got to scroll through all 15

to get you the answer to that one. Or South America, Brazil has a different one to the rest of South America. Why do they do that? Like, why can't we all have the same? And then the UK's got that big, fat, three-pronged... What's going on there? The UK's is a real throwback to the olden days

where they couldn't make anything small. Right. It's huge. So that's known as Type G. Oh, okay. Type G is used in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Malta, Malaysia, and Singapore. Okay. Oh, okay. I know. I knew you'd be interested in this, Malaysia and Singapore. Okay. Oh, okay.

I know, I knew you'd be interested in this as a traveller. Singapore. Huh. Hmm. I like when you go around the world and there's a plug for the shaver, when they used to have a plug into the wool shavers, because those were kind of always made to fit a multitude of different, you know, you could kind of

fit anything in there, if you push it hard enough. I don't know if that's how plugs work. That's exactly how it works. Right. But America's got like two types, A and B, and the only difference is one of them's got a big plug at the bottom. Yep. Otherwise it's just two plugs. See,

I would be happy to go to a universal type, but looking at this list, ours is the sexiest. Well, let's do ours then. No, but you know, the best one is the American one because they make them quite slim. A lot of their plugs are very small and they're so handy. But you get ours on a little two-prong and it's a nice small slim one. It's up there. Like the Apple ones if you've got an iPhone or something.

Yeah. They've made those a lot slimmer. Those are very slim. Type H is exclusively used in Israel. And it's not bad. Okay. It's not bad. It's not as good as ours.

Is it not as sexy as ours? Because ours is kind of a smiley face, isn't it? Ours, I kind of like this Italian one that they also use in Chile. It's literally straight across and it's just three round prongs. Oh, yeah. And the hole in the wall is just three circular holes right next to each other. All of Europe used... Oh, but you could use a Europe one in that one.

In that end one? In the J. Oh, yeah, because it's without the earthing. I don't know. Type J is quite nice. That's a Switzerland, Liechtenstein, and Rwanda joins the list. Oh, okay. Of people who use type J.

But this is electricians. Electricians are probably real excited about this. I don't know why I'm so jazzed. Maybe as travellers, you do like your... Wait, what's the fact of the day? There's lots of plugs. There's 15 different standard plug types

currently in use around the world. I was waiting for the kicker. Is that it? This is interesting. How many would you have thought? Lots. Like you thought five, six. I would have thought there's lots because when you travel, there's different ones.

Look at the South African one. Very, very big and girthy. Yeah. Oh, yuck. Grow up. But then the hole it goes into is huge as well. That's got to be taken into account If we're getting a bit About that Okay

I've got a new favourite I've got a new favourite It's type K It's used in Denmark And Greenland Greenland Not a much Happening there

No Denmark I like you You're hot And you invented danishes Because look It looks like a little smiley face In the wall

Oh my god it does It's like a half Yeah that's pretty good That's actually the one I'd go for then Okay And then our one. Well, our one because of just sake of ease, but if we all have to

make sacrifices, that would be. Do you know what I've seen and I really want to get for my, next to my bed? Oh my god, do tell. No, you can get the power play. You know how you have the power sockets, but they have the little USB things built into them. Yeah. How do you get those? You can. I've seen them at,

I don't hang out at JDL or anything. Right. Or J.A. Russell Electronics. Right. Or the Mitre 10 Mega or Bunnings. But when we were renovating, I was like, I want one of these. Oh, I think there was an issue.

Like, I don't think they're more expensive to hook up because I think you just hook up the wire that does both things in the USB. I can't remember why I didn't think they're more extensive to hook up because I think you just hook up the wire that does both things in the USB. I can't remember why I didn't fight hard. I should have fought harder for that. You should have fought hard for it. But you know what? My wife didn't want it, so I said,

you can have this one, love, and that's equality. And that's just another example of how this show is constantly promoting equality. Light plugs into the equality discussion. Constantly. You should have overwrote her on that one. Overridden her. This is the problem with feminism, isn't it? What?

What's the problem? Sometimes you choose the wrong plugs. But I think that's just how people who have a problem with feminism always end an argument. Well, yeah, well, that's the problem with feminism, isn't it? What? You know, what we've just been discussing.

Today's fact of the day is that there's, and you know, this is all tongue in cheek. Yeah. Because I have been labelled a rabid feminist. Yeah.

You haven't, but. I have. It was a self-label. I labelled myself a rabid feminist. That'll stick. That stuff's on the internet forever, you know.

So today's fact of the day is there are 15 types of electrical blood currently in use around the world. Fact of the day, day, day do this, I've tried to do this a bit more. Yeah. In the airport on the way home, whilst relaxing, before flight. Yeah. I do TripAdvisor reviews.

Oh, I see, I'm terrible. I always look at TripAdvisor when I'm travelling somewhere, like closest breakfast or things to do, things to see. Yeah. I'll always use people's reviews on hotels and staff motels, but I'll never write a review. Oh, you should because you get points. I heard you get points and stuff and you can get a –

like Google do that as well for Google reviews. You can – And you get little badges. Yeah. I'm currently a resort expert level one. If I do one more resort review, I get level two. Is there one you get? I don't know. A free upgrade. I don't know. I think when you're a resort expert level one. If I do one more resort review, I get level two. Is there more you can get? A free upgrade? I don't know. I think when you're a

resort expert level ten, you've got quite fat because you keep staying at resorts. Yeah, with all your breakfast buffers. So I'm currently level four with 2,905 points. My highlighted badge is readership. I've got 20,000 readers. Yeah, but there's no the points don't mean anything.

He's making the points. My mantra is someone, there's always someone else who will write something. Yeah, and the thing is, I always, when something bad happens, I'm always like,

I am writing a review of this place and then I'm just like, I can't be bothered. You get over it. Or I was going to say, you're promoting negativity whereas you're not rewarding the positive. Well, I've got,

yeah, I've got to really get into it and then you get a little thing like, someone just found your review helpful and you're not rewarding the positive. Well, I've got, yeah, I've got to really get into it. And then you get a little thing like, someone just found your review helpful, and you're like, yes. Yeah, and that's why people do it, because they actually do want to help, and they want that feel-good aspect about it. Yeah. TripAdvisor have released their top 10 airlines, and we've got a little warm fuzzy, because Air New Zealand has come up second.

Yes, number two. Who beat us? Up from fifth best. Oh, that's good. That's nice. Yeah, we are the best airline in the South Pacific beating a Virgin Australian airline that I believe is pronounced Qantas.

Qantas. Qantas. And then overall number two. Yeah, and Singapore Airlines is the only one. Oh, that's good. We've been on them, haven't we? We went on them when we went to Canada. Great. They give you Singapore slings, like cocktails.

Yeah. In economy. In economy. Yeah, they don't ask any more questions. They're just like, what would you like? It's purely a bribe to get number one airline. And it's working. It's working, isn't it?

So we're number one. We're number two. I say we're, like we've got some sort of stakeholdership in New Zealand. I've got the app on my phone, so can I take some sort of credit for this? Ahead of Emirates. Oh, yeah.

Emirates is third. They're good in economy too, if you're going on your OE or to Europe. Oh, great economy. Japan Airlines, ever fly on Japan Airlines? They're number four. Okay. EVA Air, never heard of them.

Are they, is that an Asian airline? Southwest Airlines in the States is number six. Oh, that's like their Jetstar. Yeah.

But it's real, it's super cheap. And that's the one that always have those fun flight attendants that do silly things. that do ramps. Oh,

I must admit, I saw a video of a Southwest attendant doing Looney Tunes voices over for the safety demonstration. I was like, that was pretty cute. Yeah, but when your planes crash into the ocean,

do you want to hear that? Suffer and suck a task. We're thinking real quick. Get off the boat. Other voices in here. Eva Ear is Taiwanese. Oh, they don't muck around with it. No. Good quality service. So South Pacific Airlines, we're the best there.

And we also won Breast Premium Economy Breast Premium Breast Premium Economy So yeah, we did okay so just write some reviews on TripAdvisor and you could be getting points. And help us all out.