ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 12 2018

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

Vaughan gave a motivational speech yesterday, Community Notices and what do you eat in the shower?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark, get even more data with their prepaid rollover packs. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Actually, fair warning, I had a very spicy curry last night for the first time in quite some time. So I don't know if that shockwave's hit anybody yet, but it might have been an isolated gas attack. Anya, you mentioned Mark Zuckerberg. He's in front of Senate in the US at the moment.

He's doing more hearings today. Have you watched any of this? Is he sitting on his booster seat on day two? Because OMG, that made me feel so sorry for him, even though he's committed an atrocious crime. I haven't seen that. But have you seen the guys asking the questions? It was like an 80-year-old man asking questions about Facebook security.

He'd be one of those old mates that ring you up to get on the Wi-Fi. Old af. He knew nothing about what he was talking about. There's actually, I saw a YouTube clip of all the questions they asked that showed they know nothing about how the internet works. Oh, no. It was really cute and it was like

someone had written a couple of joke questions just to see if the media were listening. I don't think there was anyone yesterday that was under 50 that was asking him

a question. It's like all our grandparents talking to Mark Zuckerberg. Pretty much, yeah. Mr. Zuckerberg, how do I find the on switch?

Um, what? Yeah, probably like my dad That would be a good way Like someone who's obviously so tech minded Ask him the most inane tech questions Like what's the wifi password? How do I get the printer to work? What does that mean?

And he'd probably just be like Alright, I did it! Frustrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Admitting everything. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Oh, he's dished his blackcurrant flavour

fisherman's friend. And thank you for that fisherman's friend, Vaughn. Oh, these two have got a tickle in their throat and Vaughn is brought in the chemist. He's like, right. I've got a bag of goodies. Fletch, we're dying. Let's sort this out. Vaughan is brought in the chemist he's like right I've got a bag oh goodies Fletch we're dying let's sort this out

Vaughan and I are dying you've got like a tickly throat yeah but this could lead to something serious this is just hurrying along the process but

we're all in a slow state if you're familiar with Fisherman's Friends because yesterday my father I'd never really tried them until my father-in-law was here recently

I've got a resealable end and Fletch just the resealable end had been resealed. Fletch just tore the packet wide open. Did you get Black Currant flavour on my recommendation? I did, Megan, yes. And I got original, and I got mint.

Oh my God. Now, this is what I didn't get. I've got lemon teas, lemon and honey. We've got lemon tea. We've got lemon and echinacea tea. Strawberry and rhubarb, which is just to make you feel better.

I don't know if it's going to be... We're going to get through this. We're going to get through this. We're going to get through this. We're going to fight this illness. I've got some kiwi herb throat spray. Now, I speak in no way a paid endorsement for kiwi herb as I've not seen anything

Shall I try some now? It tastes disgusting, but these guys know their stuff. Right. I don't know if I want to try it now. Try it. You have to try it now. It's something else.

Oh, yuck. Yeah, it's got kala kala in it. Yeah, but it tastes like I've eaten a native tree. Yeah, it does. It tastes like you just... It tastes like you walked behind a chipper that was cleaning up some storm debris by a native

nursery. Oh, God. Hashtag pray for F&B. No, seriously, we're going to start up a fundraiser to... We will rebuild. To fund our illness. It's not cheap to buy all these sprays, is it? No. Alright, story time. Three news

headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one headline from the three. Interesting, unusual, weird news stories from around the world. Headline one, crackdown on hashtags. Headline two, Callie doesn't find value. And headline three, transgender sex robots in hot demand. Oh, crikey. For some reason, Callie doesn't find value.

Sounds good. What was the transgender? Transgender sex robots in Hot Demand? I would have thought sex robots would just be... I mean, I guess if they're a sex robot, they'd have the bits either or, wouldn't they? But maybe they've got both. How do you have a transgender robot? I don't know.

Because you would just make it... But they're in the hot... I'll tell you what, they're in Hot Demand. Like one sex originally. So it would look like a male, but have the female bits. Maybe, yeah. Or vice versa.

How very interesting and treading along the line of being wildly offensive. Sure. So let's not go there. And plus, it's too early in the morning for a transgender sex robot chat.

Is that what you're saying? Well, it's never too early in the morning for transgender sex robot chat, but some people might find it a little much at this time of the morning. Well, I just, yeah, that other one. Well, you've got two choices. Crack down on the hashtags or Kelly doesn't find value. Yeah, no, the Kelly one. Kelly.

Megan liked that one. Okay, we go to Chicago now, and a federal judge has tossed a class action lawsuit that Kelly, Kelly Killeen, had brought to court. She went to McDonald's. Now, she purchased an extra value meal. Now, she is arguing that the extra value sausage burrito breakfast, by the way, does that sound amazing or what? Yeah, it really does. Sausage burrito breakfast.

This is in America, so not New Zealand McDonald's. She bought the burrito breakfast extra value meal for $5.08. $5.08. Now, she is saying in court that that value is deceptive and that it is in fact not a value extra value meal because if you individually buy all those items in the value meal, they come to $4 and 97 cents. She's right

then. She is right. So what's that 12 cents difference? 11 cents. 11 cents. But it's been tossed out of court. So the judge noted that the prices for combo meals and individual items are easily visible from the counter.

And therefore, consumers, it doesn't matter. You could work it out yourself. You could work it out yourself. But is that a thing here? Because I don't add up. I just assume it's going to be cheaper if it's a combo. Well, it is because we were buying combos to the girls and I thought they don't really need the drink because they already had drinks.

But it was cheaper to buy the drink and literally just throw it straight in the bin than buy the two items without the drink. Or add a dolphin in the ocean. Yeah, cheaper for your pocket, not for the environment. I didn't get straws. Right. Oh, okay, right.

So that makes all the difference. Isn't that the issue? The straws are going up the turtle's nose. Or the cup and the landfill. Oh, yeah. Single-use plastics. I don't know if that's a thing. Because sometimes supermarkets do that.

There'll be like two for whatever. Who funded this trip to court? If she's going this crazy about doing 11 cents? Well, she's either doing it herself or someone's doing like a free...

No one's going pro bono on the woman that's got a problem with the takeaway place charging 11 cents more for items purchased individually rather than that of a combo.

Unless they only get paid if she wins. I still, what lawyer's doing this? Yeah. It's a lot of work, How much were they after? And McDonald's aren't going

to have rubbish lawyers, are they? No. You'd be up against the best. Yeah. Grimace, he put himself through, you should see Grimace these days,

he started doing CrossFit, lost so much weight. Right. And put himself through law school. Yep. Still purple? Well, that's racist. What you said just there, is. Still purple? Well, that's racist.

What you said just there, is he still purple? How dare I? How dare I? Yeah, how dare you? He actually, now that he's more confident in his body though, he does go outside and get a bit more sun so he's a dark purple. Right. FEM. ZM. Day of the Commonwealth Games.

Yeah. We're still doing pretty well. We're still doing pretty well, We're still doing pretty well. But let's not take the foot off the accelerated team, New Zealand. No, I believe another medal overnight in Ternania from the news desk. Yes, a bronze from Tasman Benny, who was a boxer. Great. Do you know eight of the 21 strong Cameroon team have disappeared off the face of the Commonwealth Games planet.

They didn't even turn up to perform to do their They just want a better life in Australia. Yeah. They're like whoopsies where have they gone?

Oh dear. You're kidding me. No. No. They're looking for them. They're like They might run away they're like we're here now.

Let's boost. That's a great plan to get out of a country and not happen and become so good at something you could represent them internationally.

I'm too lazy to do that. I know. They didn't even compete for the medal that they probably trained for. No, at least try for the medal and then run away. Yeah. Because then you can melt that win, melt down the gold and use that money to start a new life. Yeah, it's not all good news from the Gold Coast though. No, the

Gold Coast are saying, they're fuming, they're saying that it has not been the windfall for the Commonwealth Games. The Commonwealth it has not been the windfall for the Commonwealth Games. The Commonwealth Games has not been the windfall for them that they thought it would be, and they're blaming New Zealand. Oh, what did we do? What, like, retailers, hotel people? Yeah, yeah, like, Goldie.

Anybody that, hospitality, restaurants, bars, everything, apparently it's not, like, the busy hustle bustle that they thought it was going to be. But why would anybody go when the games are on? I wouldn't. Be too busy. I'd go after the games. Yes.

Or before. Yeah. And also, apparently, it's our fault and New South Wales' fault for not synchronising our school holidays with them. Right. Because it's Queensland school holidays over the Commonwealth Games and we should have changed our entire school term.

Maybe the entire way that children function. Right. Just for the Commonwealth Games. But then even then, parents aren't going to take their kids to the Goldie when it's school holidays. No. Prices will be through the roof. Prices were really expensive. Didn't you look at going to Brisbane? I was going to go to it for a concert and the hotels were through the roof and that was were really expensive. Didn't you look at going to Brisbane? I was going to go for a

concert and the hotels were through the roof and that was in Brisbane. So they're complaining but they tried to rip us all off and nobody went so now we're to blame. But I thought that was always the deal with hosting the games. Surely you don't host the games

thinking you're going to make tons of money. For the last few Olympics games, nobody's made money, right? China just went in and blew cash to look awesome on a world stage. That was the Olympics. But they didn't care how much it cost. Everybody around the world's seen the Gold Coast and how beautiful it is. You can't buy that kind of advertising. It's great.

And then England, you know, London didn't make heaps of money off the Olympics that they held. And Rio de Janeiro have said, like, we're definitely out of pocket at the end of it. Like, it's not a cheap thing to host. And a lot of people are. You're everyday tourists. Your sports fans go. You're, you know, you're sports nuts. And mum and dad go to support their son or daughter in the games.

But there's nothing overly appealing about just being a tourist there at the same time. No. But isn't it kind of a long play marketing thing? So you might see it on TV, the Commonwealth Games, and the Goldie looks nice, so you go there in the future. Like the drone shots from the cycling and stuff. You're like, man, that's a beautiful, long, sandy beach.

I'll go when the cycling isn't blocking every road. Exactly. That seems like a much better idea. Yeah. But yeah, it's our fault. It's New Zealand's fault for the school holidays. But if you do end up on the Gold Coast, you run into someone from Cameroon, they may not have, like,

a visa. I mean, this is a bad thing for anybody not white in Australia because casual racism in Australia is still very ever-present. Well, they'll just assume everybody's from Cameroon. Yeah. Even like Mozzie's, Maldi-Ozzie's will probably get a finger point at them and say, you're one of them Cameroonians.

And they'll be like, nah, bro. And they'll be like, all right, you passed the test. FVM, the podcast. FVM. A 112-year-old man from Japan has revealed his secret to a long and healthy life. Now he has just been... Oh, has it been Japanese?

They do have a long life expectancy, don't they? Yeah. So he's just been officially recognised as the world's oldest living man. Okay. Which is always great, but... You know your time's limited. So is it something Japanese that keeps him, what he's swearing by? No.

It's not sushi of the day? No. What's Thursday's sushi of the day? Brown rice and teriyaki chicken. Are you making that up? I'm made up. Oh, I got really excited about that. So he got given a celebratory cake because he's now in the Guinness World Records.

But they asked him what his secret is. His soft spot. Oh, it's California roll today. Is it? Yeah, carry on, Megan. His soft spot for lollies is apparently what he attributes to his long life. Also, he likes hot springs, baths. I like lollies and baths.

You know I love a good bath. So you're saying you're going to live long. Also, because we have the same birthday. I mean, not year. Obviously. But July 25th, he was born. Only months before Albert Einstein published his theory of relativity.

That's how old he is, 1902. Wow. But he's spent his he is, 1902. Wow. But he's spent his life eating lollies. What kind of lollies? How about Einstein didn't publish his theory of relativity in 1902, did he? Is that what the news story says? Yeah. Is that right?

I thought it was after that. I don't know when this even happened. I couldn't tell you. Oh, I've got to look it up now because I could be... When was the first theory of RAL... RAL...

RAL... See, here's my problem, Vaughan. You don't know how to spell relativity. I got there in the end. Thank you. I got there in the end. When it was published. 1905.

Albert Einstein published the theory of special relativity in 1905. That's much earlier than I thought what I thought it was like 19 I thought it was

after World War 1 but before World War 2 right okay how very interesting okay the new story is wrong but we don't know

what kind of lollies no it just said Japanese and western sweets okay so maybe maybe coke bottles or sour worms.

Because I've always wondered like, because we call Indian sweets Indian sweets. Yeah. Indians probably just call them sweets.

Yeah. Sure. What do Indians call our sweets? I mean, also Oh yeah, good call. Oh yeah. I also would like it noted

he is eating a piece of the cake here. It doesn't look like he's got teeth. So he's alive but all of his teeth are gone. Right. Well doesn't look like he's got teeth. So he's alive. Oh, right. But all of his teeth are gone. Right.

Well, that again from the lollies. Yeah. So he's gumming down some cake. But he's loving it. I like to gum down some cake and I've got teeth. I just like put my lip over your teeth. Nom, nom, nom, nom. That's my preferred cake eating technique.

All right. Really get into it. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Today's Top Six takes a look at the fact that old school cops think that millennial cops are a softer breed. It's a load of rubbish, isn't it? I've got nothing but respect for police regardless

of age. They deal with what? Do you know I jaywalked in front of the police today? Did they light you up? You need to stop jaywalking. No, I didn't even notice until I got to the other side of the road. Did you have headphones on? No.

Just looked up and I saw them and I was like, sup? Yeah, millennial cops though. But they were millennial cops. Were they millennial cops? Old cops probably would have got out and battened me at the knees. Well, I think it's millennial cops know that everybody's got smartphones. So maybe they're just handling themselves a bit better than old school cops that would just get out, as you say,

whip out the bat and bash you over the head and be like, oh, you've fallen over. Whoops. Sure. So the today's top six things are the top six things millennial cops think are yucky. Okay. Because according to the older cops, they're a softer breed. Not my opinion at all.

Do they give examples of what the new millennial cops aren't doing? Well, they say that they're not doing, like, the military-style tactics. It used to be pretty much, because that was, a lot of people came back from serving in the military and joined the police force. Right. You know, being drill sergeant. Right.

And so it'd be more like going to the army. Yeah. Well, it would be. It'd just be like being in the army but not having to go overseas. I just wouldn't go if it was like that. Well, I think it's still like that. They're still very regimental. Right.

I just don't think there's as much screaming, which I don't like being screamed at. I don't particularly enjoy being screamed at. So the top six things millennial cops think are yucky. Number six, they think it's yucky that you're not allowed to use emojis on the paperwork. An emoji can express so much. Yeah, I know.

The criminal made me angry first. And then in the back of the police car they vomited emoji. Saving words. Yeah, and there's a police car emoji.

There is, yeah. We took the Police car emoji To the House Yes Where a bus emoji Had crashed into A family emoji

Dead face Dead face Dead face Dead face Dead face Dead face Dead face Dead face

Because the bus Was full of people Children And then we went to Grab some food Pokey out tongue Hand move Then we thought about All the dead face Dead face Dead face Dead face Of people. Children. And then we went to grab some food. Pokey out tongue. Hand move.

Then we thought about all the dead face, dead face, dead face, dead face. Sad face. That's a millennial police officer's report. Brilliant. It totally worked. And we all know what happened. Yeah, exactly. Number five on the list of the top six things millennial cops think are yucky.

Their free police coffee card only gets them coffee at BP. And the baristas at BP don't have enough tattoos. Oh, right. They're like more of a hipster coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a denim apron

with a leather strap. Tattoos and a moustache if it's a man. They've probably got an issue like you do with the fact that long blacks, they make an Americano.

They fill the whole cup. Yeah. No, I've learned they actually just make a super long black. Americanos are made differently to a long black. Really? But they just put a long black in and then just fill it up with hot water, making it a long, long, long black. Which is better than a short.

A standard black. A standard, yeah. Some people don't like a short, Chody. Number four on the list of the top six things millennial cops think are yucky. They're not allowed to use the police sirens to get back to the station in time for Married at First Sight. I know.

Yeah. Are they supposed to be joining in the online banter? If you're not allowed to break a few rules. Exactly. That's the perk of being a policeman. Siren at your disposal. Whoop, whoop. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six things millennial cops think are yucky are not being allowed to explain to criminals what they did wrong by using Friends episode references.

Like, okay, Marcel, you were caught, that was an incidental reference to the monkey. That was completely incidental but I'm happy it happened. What went wrong is when you were trying

to steal the TV you didn't pivot. Pivot! Pivot! Classic episode. Yeah. Classic episode. We've all screamed that

while moving a couch since. Number two on the list of the top six things millennial cops think are yucky. They aren't allowed to offer criminals their Instagram filter of choice on their mugshot.

Now, these people are criminals but everybody deserves a Maro if they need to look. Sure. Can you please just put like more beaut

over my face? Just soften it a bit. And then soften my mugshot. Or you could just use the dog Snapchat filter. And then I'll open my mouth and

Imagine your mugshot is the dog. Go. Well, the tongue's out. Oh, I know I murdered someone, but I want this to look perfect. Thanks. And the number one thing in today's top six things

millennial cops think are yucky, when they go to a call-out and the victim won't give them the Wi-Fi password. It's just like, I'm really getting through my data. It's nearly the end of the month. Yeah. It's on like I'm really getting through my data It's nearly the end of mine Yeah It's on Please

Whereabouts is that? I know you're dying But whereabouts is that? It's on the bottom of the router Okay I'll go get it I'll take a photo of it And then I'll come back

And I'll give it to my partner He'll look after you in the meantime I'll go I'll go Where is the router? Oh my god Chorus have done a real Huck bang job

Of installing your Fiber It's not even fibre I'll just down data 4G will be quicker Oh, my God. Chorus have done a real huck-bang job of installing your fibre. It's not even fibre. I'll just down data. 4G will be quicker. That is today's top six. After the somewhat surprise storm we had in the top of the North Island, although it's affected the whole country.

Well, yes, snow. It's a cold start. It's a cold snap. Especially for the South Island this morning. Yeah. But in Auckland, there's still quite a few homes that remain without power. Yeah, 55,000. Traffic lights still out, which is causing trouble on the roads.

But they have released a list of things that you should throw out. So obviously, if you've got no power, your fridge isn't going. Yeah. And it's important to keep it closed. Now, they've said that if you keep your fridge closed and, like, it remains closed, this is a fridge and a freezer, it will stay the right temperature. It will stay cold enough

for two to four days. Oh, unless you've got a leaky seal. Oh, what a time to find out that your seal's bung. But then you've got to open it to get food out and then you also have to open it to check that it's still cold.

No, it's the perfect excuse for takeaways. Every night. You just tape it shut and be like, sorry kids, we can't eat fresh veg. Unless the takeaways don't have power. Just keep driving until you find one that does. There was a restaurant in Auckland that was offering free food to people who had no power. Free dinners.

That's a dangerous dice to roll when 100,000 people were without power. How do you prove that? Let me have a sniff. Yeah. I'd sniff everybody, see if they're showered. So they've released a list of foods that should be thrown out at different degrees. Right.

Like temperature, which is an issue because I don't exactly know how you'd figure out what temperature your fridge is unless you chuck in a thermometer. Some of the new fridges have it on the outside, don't they? I don't. I don't. But I've seen people that have like that on their fridge. Oh, yeah, those smart fridges and we should chuck in a thermometer. Some of the new fridges have it on the outside, don't they? I don't. But I've seen people that have like that on their fridge. Oh yeah, those smart fridges. Fancy AF. Very fancy. Otherwise just chuck like a thermometer in there or something like that. But then they're saying don't open your fridge

or your freezer, but then they're saying get the temperature of it. Yeah. How do you do that? I don't know. So veal, beef, lamb, pork, ground meat, casserole, soups, stews, hard cheeses, juices, flowers. Flowers. Like as in ground up wheat. Who's putting that on old people's flowers in the fridge?

It's like almond flour or something. Old people's doesn't need to be refrigerated, does it? I don't know. You've got too much fridge space if you can chuck flour in there. I don't have much in my freezer. I've got ice cubes, vodka, gin, and like a pack of mints from like months, from like years ago. Are you going to ditch the mints?

Well, I keep mints too, but I'm like, if I put it in the bin now, it'll just defrost and stink. Yeah, you've got to remember if you're going to ditch meat, it's on bin day. Yeah. So those and pre-packaged meals, all of it should be kept below 4 degrees. So if your temperature goes above 4 degrees in your fridge, you're going to have to

chuck out all of that stuff. Right. Mainly all your meats. And freezer. Because most of that would be in the freezer, wouldn't it? How cold is a freezer? Negatives. It'd be negatives, yeah. To have the name freezer, it has to be in the negatives, doesn't it? Yeah. It has to be below zero.

Dairy items, poultry, meat, seafood, fresh pasta, fresh greens, eggs, soy meat, all that stuff has to be held at four degrees or higher. If it's held at four degrees or higher for more than two hours. Chuck it out. Chuck it out. Oh, no. Then we go on to the sad stuff. Mayo, tartare sauce, horseradish, garlic.

Horse what? Horseradish. No, we're not moving on until you correctly pronounce. Why can't you say that? Horseradish. Say it as two separate words. Horseradish. Yeah.

Radish. Now say it as one collective. Horseradish. Say it as two words. Horseradish. Now say it as one collective Horse Say it as two words Horse Radish Now say it as one Horse Radish

Oh my god I am Geoffrey Rush Off the King's Speech Yes I just corrected Megan Stumley Do it again real quick Horse

Horse Radish Yep Horse Horse Radish Yep That Who even has that?

Chuck it out if it's been in your fridge and it's been held at 10 degrees or above for more than eight hours. It always blows my mind. There's all this stuff, like mayo, for example, can sit on a supermarket shelf, unrefrigerated, sealed, granted sealed for probably forever. Yeah. And then you open it and it can't go above a certain degree. I've had power cuts. Probably forever. Yeah. And then you open it and it can't go above a certain degree.

I've had power cuts. Remember I had all those power cuts in my last house? And I didn't throw anything out. I was like, should we write? And you're fine? And I'm still here. How were you when you had your horseradish? You don't buy it because you can't say it, eh? What even is that?

It's basically beige wasabi. Okay. Because wasabi is supposed to be made, you know, a specific way, but it's quite expensive. So all they do is they get horseradish and they colour it green in New Zealand mostly. Okay. So just throw that out because it's yuck. All right.

Community notices are coming up. The weird and wonderful things that you see on your local Facebook pages. No shortage of them. No. Is it because Mercury's in retrograde? I don't even know what that means. Neither. I just heard someone say it yesterday and I wanted to say smart.

But then like smart but also dumb if you believe Mercury doing something affects you. Come on, guys. Welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around the country according to local Facebook pages, which is the modern-day corkboard outside the library, really, isn't it? It is, yeah. It is. This comes to us from the buy, sell, swap,

Tauranga, Mount Maunganui page, and this is one of the most interesting ads for a flatmate, one that I've seen. Single room available, $180, includes power, Wi-Fi and water. Two kids lurk around half the time. One's three, one's five, and they're reasonably annoying.

The couple downstairs are also very weird, but mostly harmless. Okay. Signing it like it is. Well, at least they're not lying. Yeah. It's an honest approach to a flatmate wanted ad. And then there's a photo of them.

Now, I don't know if these are the people, I don't know if these are the downstairs folk, but... They look fun. They do look mostly harmless, as said in the ad. This one comes to us from the Manawatu Bargains page. We've talked about this one before. Bargains is spelt wrong and they've got a possessive apostrophe where it's not needed.

Alright. If someone could, again, I've asked a few times if someone could correct that spelling. Bargians? Is that what it is? Bargins. Bargins. Bargins what? Because it's got that. Anyway.

It starts, Peter's post, by saying, this bike ain't stolen. Whoa. My cousin owed me some money, so she gave me this Schwinn 26-inch mountain bike. She said it cost her partner $1,100, and I believe her. She ain't on P or anything.

Good to know. She and her partner work for Fonterra in the Waikato. They're off to Aussie for a new job and venture and they sold heaps of their nice stuff cheap to family and friends. Her partner hardly roaded it. Roaded it. Which is the past tense for

ride. Yep. It's been stored well. I've ridden it twice. 21 gears. A soft seat. So if you want some cardio in your life and some fresh air and style and quality with good functioning bike, this is the bike, bike emoji for you. It comes with a helmet and a good quality bike lock. I want $500 for it.

You won't get anything like this at the price of the bike shop. They're mainly all $1,000. I went in and saw. It's good to know where the market's at. Good to know where the market's at. And other bikes

I've seen that are $350 are shit. He's made the decision for you. Nothing like this. I went to Cash Converters today

and saw some $500 shit scraped up bikes. No way they're as nice as this. Cheers. He's not wrong. That's a good sell.

That's a great sell. Good sell. I like when someone lets you know what the competitors are up to as well. Yeah. Like your other options. Same shit looking. Just buy it up, man.

It sure does. He's done all the research. This one comes to us from the Papakura Spread the Word page. Riley writes, Hello. Who do you call if there's a dead dog under my house? In brackets, not mine.

Close brackets. Who do you call? What do you do? You'd just have to get it out yourself, wouldn't you? Oh, I'm not touching that. How long has it been there? Yeah, that was my first thought. If it's fresh, you could get it out. I could probably manage to get it out,

but if it had been there a while, it was all like maggoty. Because it'd be rigid, right? But then would it go mushy? Yeah. If it's been there for too long, it might go mushy. You might have to get it out, but if it had been there a while, it was all like... Because it'd be rigid, right? But then would it go mushy? Yeah. If it's been there for too long, it might go mushy. You might have to get it out a little bit. And like other things would have...

We're eating. Skipping. The big question. Whose dog is it? Whose dog is this? Yeah. And why is it dead under his house? Where did it come from?

Exactly. Does it say what kind of dog? Is it little or big? Nope. It doesn't say size. Oh, no. So many follow-up questions. Yeah. And I didn't see them all, but there's 42 comments in the section. Where did it come from? Does it say what kind of dog? Is it little or big? Nope. It doesn't say size. So many follow-up questions. Yeah.

And I didn't see them all, but there's 42 comments in the section, so I'm imagining there's a fair bit of questions there. From the Christchurch Buy, Sell and Exchange page, Hayley's got a bunch of stuff to give away. Food, a baby bath, a baby gate, pregnancy tests and a machete. $30 for the lot. No time wasters. F-I-F-S?

I think... First in, first served. Yeah. Yes! You got it. You worked it out. That would be a good game show. Acronyms. And you get on old people.

Yeah. Because your mum thought lots of love was LOL. LOL, yeah. For a long time. People were like, LOL. She's like, weird place to say lots of love was LOL, didn't she, for a long time. Yeah, we were like, LOL. She's like, weird place to say lots of love, but, you know, express it how you wanted it.

From the Waihe Community Information Grapevine, Cindy's message is short but succinct. I'm looking for a good Christian man for the rest of my life. Okay. Yeah, that's it. Amen. She's just chucked that right out there. Okay. And said that's what she's after.

You could just go to church and find one, couldn't you? Well, yeah, they kind of do congregate there, don't they? Pull around there at the weekends, don't they? Maybe she's been through all of them. No one hasn't found a good one. Maybe. Get another church. Let's move to a new church.

That's a good convert to another religion. Yeah. That's good call. Now, I want to tell you a really cute story from Otago Floating Goods page. Joan posts the original post. Now, Joan's to tell you a really cute story from Otago Floating Goods page. Joan posts the original post. Now, Joan's profile picture is a lovely looking flower. Right. So, from my knowledge of old people and their profile pictures, Joan's very caring.

Now, she's listed for sale a pork roast. I've cooked a pork roast with all the trimmings, and the family have just told me they can't make it to join me for dinner. So, I was thinking there may be a student or two out there Oh, that's so sad. But also really sad. Yeah. Because we're a family. I know. Why did they not come?

Shit. Some far distance second cousin twice removed said, if Vaughn were having a pork roast, I'd be like, I'll be there. Sarah writes on there, what a lovely gesture. Joan, you sound like an amazing lady, and I bet the lucky students were very grateful. She said, yes, I've received a photo, and they said in the photo

that it was the first vegetables the young man had had all year and I simply can't stand the thought of a young man being so devoid of vegetables. And Sarah was like, LOL, something's best left unknown. I'm guessing that's about how this guy had many vegetables. So they didn't have to stay and eat with her because that would have been my problem.

No, no, no, no, no. They bought a plate. It sounded like a trap for an old person to have some company. Yeah. But it wasn't. Okay. It wasn't. It sounded like a trap for an old person to have company.

They're going to eat a free meal and you can't hang around for five minutes to make sure they're okay. No, I mean, I'm saying I'd go there and hang out for five minutes, but I don't want to... I'd linger. You get stuck there for four hours.

I'd linger because if she had family coming over and she'd chuck on a pork roast, you know, there's a pudding somewhere. Yeah. I'd get to it. Oh, that was lovely, Joan. God, some apple crumble. I need polish it up.

She's like, oh, just whip one up. She's like, oh, okay, I had some strudel. Oh, it's not crumble, is it, Joan? Strudel me up, Joan. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, you can screen cap it and send it to ours. We're FEMZM on Facebook.

All right, next on the show, we go to Australia, and a girl has faked a sickie, but not fake a sickie like you do on Saturday morning because you've drank too much and you've got to be at work at 10. Yeah, you don't want to vomit at work at 10 You know what? She's gone to extremes Now I'm imagining you working at glass on A 23 year old Melbourne woman faked a sickie for four years

This is very serious sickie. Right. Since she was 19, she managed to convince friends and family, like mum and dad, direct family, that she had a rare cancer called soft-tissued sarcoma. Right. So it started at 19. Yeah.

Would mum and dad not have been like, we'd quite like to come to one of your appointments for emotional support if nothing else, were your parents? I mean, I don't know. She did tell them she was terminally ill, so I don't know how she managed to do that. If I got cancer now, I'd be like, mummy.

Mum! 100%. I've seen people like, when chemo, look, it's absolutely like horrible. Yeah. Every aspect of it looks awful. You definitely need your folks. And 19 of your parents aren't there talking to doctors about your options and stuff.

That is weird. Especially if it's terminal. What if her mum and dad are just like, oh, I've got cancer. Wow, how bad. Terminal. Oh, well, there's nothing worse your parents can do apart from sit here and play the waiting game. Right, that's crazy. Well, they didn't go with her, but her family were like, oh my God, there's nothing your parents can do apart from sit here and play the wedding game. Right, that's crazy. Well, they didn't go with her,

but her family were like, oh my God, that's awful. We're going to start raising money for you. So they did. Their family put in money and she chronicled her whole situation on her blog with the cancer. Then doubts started arising when she didn't deliver.

She promised $300,000 to a charity. Never happened. Um, and, and like a couple of years ago, it was found out that she made it all up. So she's been sent to jail now. Only for three months and then she's got community service. But her family fronted up heaps, thousands of dollars. Um, and also a cancer patient himself gave her $10,500. Oh.

Yeah. But her mum actually went to court with her, so she must still be talking to her. But she is one of the people that she scammed, so her mum gave her thousands of dollars. Oh, my God. She has paid back $15,000, but they raised almost $44,000 for her.

That's so much money. How did you Is there any word on how she got caught? So I guess because she was making all these promises and nothing was happening. And then she wasn't dying? No.

After like you know like I've got terminal cancer and then four years later you're like weren't you meant to be dead like two years ago? What's happening here?

Also, she went on overseas trips and got drunk and bought drugs. So they were like, are you actually sick? Shit, that's what she blew all the money on. Her party lifestyle. I don't know how you could live with yourself. Yeah. What a horrendous piece of shit. Because then there are

actually people out there that, you know, would need some money and do do the fundraising thing. Yeah. But now you'd be questioning all of them. Three months in jail,

12 months community service. I would think that that's, is that enough? And she's paid back a little bit of it. $15,000 of the $44,000. Yeah, nah, she deserves it. Yeah.

She's obviously a bit crazy. Yeah, there's something going on there. But $15,000 is probably what she just would have had left, right? Yeah. That's so sad. I hope that she paid it back to the other cancer patient. Oh, yeah. This is why I don't believe in karma.

Yeah, right. This is why I don't, well, for a start, I don't believe what makes humans so special that karma would exist for us but not animals. But anyway, that's by the by. But someone carries on like this, doesn't have, you know, anything, yet kids who have done absolutely nothing wrong

in their entire life get the raw deal of getting terminal cancer. And there's someone out there carrying on like this. Yeah. Good God. Well, that's a downer, isn't there carrying on like this. Yeah. Good God. Well, that's a downer, isn't it? It sure is. Yeah, they're saying tonight Gale Force wins again, right? Yeah.

For a lot of the North Island. Upper North Island, yeah. I got power back yesterday morning. Quite a few people in my neighbourhood still without power, but I think it's on those individual green, big green humming boxes. The Transformers. Oh, right, okay. I have to do those. I feel

sorry for the linesmen. Oh yeah, all the people in those cherry picker bucket things that are in up ladders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's like, where's my power on? They're like, we're working as fast as we can. Ah, you distracted me. I could never do that job, electrician or anything to do

with power, because I don't have the concentration. That too. They turn it off. You can't wire a live power. No, but electricians are always electrocuting themselves accidentally. Only when they're apprentices. And that's just because the people that they work for are having a laugh. You've got to bloody electrocute the bloody hairy back.

I'm pretty sure that is workplace bullying. Turn the power back on. The apprentice is rewiring. That could kill him. Well, just get another one. Just a bloody apprentice. What's wrong with you? Do it or you're fired too.

Okay. Flick. So people without power. One of the most upsetting things in my neighbourhood was the hospice around the corner has got no power. Still.

I know. All the old folks in the community's kind of trying to sort out what to do. Because old folks don't want for much. Just to be warm and a cup of tea, mate. And just a nice couch. They don't eat a lot, old people. Yeah, no. They don't eat a lot.

So everyone's kind of like, what do we do? Because if we all just rush up there with food, it's going to be too much food. Do we take thermoses? Where's a generator? Has anyone got a generator? So it's quite cool seeing the community trying to sort that. You didn't think of housing one or two in your house? They need specialist care.

Oh, right. Okay. They could bring a person, but then there's not enough people working there to expand with everybody. And it's been so cold too. They'll be feeling the chill if there's no power. Oh yeah. Blankets are plenty. It'll be... And I'd like to offer my services to anyone

in West Auckland, maybe Central Auckland if it's near work. If anyone's got any fallen oak trees or any fallen stone fruit trees. Right. So your peaches, your plums, your cherries.

Oh, I'd love some cherry. An apple. I'd definitely come around and clean up an apple tree. Right. Why? It's wood that I want to use for barbecuing. For smoking. Yeah, don't call me if you've got a pine down across the lines.

That's not good to me. I can't smoke. Macrocarpa? No, but too sparky. What about a fig? I could do a fig. Oh, there's one down the road that's really suffered. I thought all wood was, I mean, I know manuka's different because it's got that smell.

It's got a dark, smoky bit. But I thought you just chuck it all on and you'd make a pizza or ribs, smoky ribs. No, no, that's, you stay right out of it, thanks. No, there's different sorts of, you get different things from different sorts of wood because I saw a tree down and I said to somebody, oh, happy hour, what kind of tree is it? And they said, oh, it's a gum tree. I was like, oh, I can't anymore. I was going to say, actually, that's quite helpful because a lot of people don't have chainsaws.

Yeah, I've got two. And there's lots of trees down. I'm helpful if it's also beneficial to me. Yeah, that's classic millennial attitude my motivation is me and to some people I'll look very helpful to others I'm absolutely

no help. But this is your moment to shine because we've had to tell you off and stop you just going into public parks and using a chainsaw in a high vis vest. I mean when that wind was blowing the other night and our house was rattling I thought the guttering was going to come off and the barbecue was skidding across the deck and my big favourite terracotta pot broke.

All I could think was, shit, there's going to be some good branches down. Some good wood that I can smoke. Some good smoking wood. Yeah. It's going to be all on. I mean, you could buy wood like everybody else. Could I?

Yes. Okay, yeah, I could. Yes, you could. You could. And, you could. Over the weekend, Channing Tatum and his wife, Jenna something Tatum. Dwan. Dwan Tatum. Dwan Tatum.

Announced that they were separating. And they're one of those Hollywood couples that everyone's like, what? Like Chris Pratt and Anna Faris. Everyone was like, what? Yeah. Ryan Reynolds, Black Lively. Channing and Jenna always talk about how amazing their sex life is

and how great they are together and they always seemed happy. Well, that should have been the first giveaway. People that are always going on about how great it is. It's probably not. You know what I'm saying? Overselling it. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. I don't know. Somebody to watch out for. After nine years together, they've called it quits. But like totally amicable and everything. Sounds like it. And we were talking about this in the office and then she brings it up like it's no big deal. Bree in the office is like, oh yeah, I'm friends with Channing Tatum.

He's messaged me on Instagram. We were all just like, what? I like to play cool guys. Yeah, it was one of those real cool. Oh, yeah. Are were all just like, what? I like to play it cool, guys. Yeah, it was one of those real cool, oh. Oh, yeah. Are you guys talking about Channing? Are you guys talking about Channing? I just call him Channing.

Yeah, Chan-Chan. Anywhere I can get it in a combo, I just drop it in. Just drop it. And I was like, yes, he's in the news. Here's my chance. So how did Channing Tatum follow you, Brie? Most bizarre thing ever was like at the end of last year and I do a bit of stuff online like some funny videos and that kind of thing yeah and like

not many people follow me like you know few people and then as I was scrolling through Instagram seeing people who followed me I was like oh Channing Tatum and my first initial thought was oh here's a fake account that's following me and I've clicked on it and then it says 16.5 million followers. And I was like, oh. Does he not have a blue tech? No, he does. So when I clicked into his profile, I was like, oh, no, that's the real one. Yeah.

Official blue tech. So he'd like stumbled across your videos. Yeah. I have no idea how it came about. And he only follows like 230 people or something crazy. Like it's Kevin Hart, Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah and me. Like it's ridiculous. What a dinner party.

And then you rock and you're like, g'day. So have you mentioned him in a video? No, not really. Like I've mentioned him in conversation many times. Right. Imagine if his wife's like, who is this that you're following? Yeah. And you're the reason they broke up.

And he's like, that's Oprah. I mean, am I the reason they broke up? I might be pregnant. I don't know. It's all up in the air at the moment. But then I thought, got to message Channing Tatum if he follows me. Like, got to send him a.um if he follows me. Yeah. Like, got to send him a. Because if he's got 16 million followers,

he'll only get messages from his friends that he follows. Exactly right. So I was like, oh, he's going to see this. You slid into the DMs. I can officially say that I slid into Channing's DMs. I wrote, I went with, I was like, keep it casual. Yeah. And I went with, Channing, you bloody legend.

Cheers for the follow, mate. Mate. Smiley face. And then it was a long wait for a couple of hours. Did you? A couple of hours? That's not a long wait. A couple of hours of talking.

I was going to say a couple of days. Were you scanning for the scene message? Yes. Okay. And I was like, oh, even if he sees it, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. He wrote back.

He wrote back? Oh, my God. And you wait till you hear what he wrote back. Okay. So he said, it's actually explicit. He said, you're effing hilarious, sis. Sis? Because you called him mate?

Yeah. Establishing a platonic relationship. I mean, I put him in the friend zone straight away. Just so he knew where he stood with you called him mate? Yeah. Establishing a platonic relationship. I mean, I put him in the friend zone straight away, just so he knew where he stood with me, you know? Yeah, yeah. And he said, you and your family look so fun. I literally want to be a part of it. Sorry, that sounds creepy.

But yeah, straight stalking you and your family. Because your mum is hilarious. He loves my mum. Oh, she's great. I'd love to get those two together. Oh, my God. Wow. I mean, isn't it weird when...

Jenny is stalking you. Usually he would be saying you're creepy, but he's saying, you know... Yeah, he's creepy. Yeah, he's been the creep. Wow. Okay. I then replied with a nude.

Solid, solid play. Solid, yeah. I thought, got to do something big here. Was it replied with a nude. Solid, solid play. Solid, yeah. Solid play. I thought, got to do something big here. Was it a tasteful nude or? No, definitely not. Okay, yeah. Just got to ask, was it a nude of you or did you just find somebody else?

No, it was my next door neighbour actually. Right, yeah. And he didn't reply, so I was a bit offended. Yeah. No, I actually messaged him asking if he could come to my sister's hen's night and strip and he didn't reply, so that's awkward.

Was it seen? He did see it. But, guys, he always watches my Instagram stories. Can you just put me on your Instagram stories? He's so awkward. Everyone in the office is asking.

And so awkward because I was on a work trip over the last couple of days with a girl that works here, Ellie. Yeah. And we're at the hotel and she takes her pants off and she's in these real skanky, horrible. She was wearing supermarket undies. Oh. And I was like, oh, got to get that on the Instagram story.

And then I was like the next day, hey, Ellie, Channing saw you in your weird Woolworths undies. And he's probably like, maybe marriage was a good option. That's what's out there. Wow. That's amazing. Because he's an A-list. He's an A-list C-lib.

He's been in lots of people's top five. He not only followed you, but he messaged you back. Yeah. That's pretty amazing. It's a great victory. I think we should ask the question this morning, has a celebrity ever slid into the DMs, messaged you back,

or just messaged you without you messaging them? Do you think we'd have many of those stories? Like they initiate the conversation. Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, they don't have to. Maybe you started the convo. Yeah. Does it count if they message you and say,

I'm going to put you on a restraining order? Does that count? No, yeah. Well, yeah, that does count. That still counts. It is a message, yeah. That's flirtation, isn't it? The highest order.

Has anyone here ever had a celebrity message them? Producer Caitlin putting her hand up? I did. Fat Man Scoop. He actually just sent me a love heart. Messaged him? Producer Caitlin? Putting her hand up? I did. Fat Man Scoop messaged me that. He actually just sent me a love heart. Did you tag him in like a message story? Yeah, when we had Friday Jams, I was like, so excited to see Fat Man Scoop.

And then like two days later, he sent me a love heart. He loved hearted you. But he doesn't follow me. But that's an emoji to end a conversation. Well, I think it's actually just the automated, like, at the bottom, you know, how you can send a love heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like a thumbs up. But that was cool.

If we're talking Friday Jams, remember when Craig David messaged me on my Instagram and was like, so nice talking to you. He doesn't know how social media works, really, does he? What do you mean? Well, he's kind of been out of the game. He doesn't really know. He's a hottie.

If this was 2002, that would be really impressive. Well, one, because if you were to go about Instagram in 2002, everyone would be like, what? All right, so we want to ask a question now. 0800DARNZM9696, when has a celebrity messaged you? FEM. ZM. We're talking about when celebrities have messaged you on social media.

Bree, new here at the office, here at ZM, has just some back and forth with Channing Tatum. No big deal. I mean, look. Yeah. So, I mean, I put it on my resume, that's for sure. Try to drop it in every convo. I was going to say, how long have you been here? Did it take you to bring that up? It actually took me a while.

I actually forgot about it. Nah, just joking. I just totally forgot about it until I literally heard someone say chat. And I was like, I didn't care. We've got some messages in from people who have had

communication with celebrities. Okay. Adam Lambert. Oh, yeah. Via Instagram while he was here on the solo tour, my phone started going, making this weird noise at 4 a.m. in the morning. Adam Lambert was video calling me. I was too scared to answer.

What? What? What? What didn't you just answer just to see if he was, like, naked or something? They're hot, dude. Who? What are you video calling someone at 4am for? Is it like Snapchat?

It doesn't say if it's a guy or a girl. Is it accidental? Well, it says I didn't have my makeup or my game face on. Right. I don't know. Could still be a guy or a girl. I heard a story about Sam Smith when he was back here, back in the day before he had,

because he's still going out with that guy from 13 Reasons. Yes, I believe so, yeah. Reason one, I think. Reason one, yeah. And they were messaged by him. Really? And he slid into the Insta DMs with a reply. Somebody also said Spencer Pratt from the Hills on Instagram.

He'll reply to a lot of people I've heard, but I messaged him about crystals. People about crystals. He's not very busy these days. No, crystal people aren't very busy. Unless it's time to recharge their crystals under the old moon of time. I don't know how crystals work.

Because they don't. But you still judge. Because they don't know how crystals work Because they don't But yet you still judge Because they don't Somebody else said Jamie Ridge blocked me Does that count? What were you doing? Don't know

Ross Boss' wife Stacey messaged in Aaron Paul Jesse Breaking Bad From Breaking Bad Slid into her DMs once Saying I hope you have a beautiful day Oh my god Why is she still with Ross? from Breaking Bad slid into her DMs once saying, I hope you have a beautiful day. Oh my God.

Why is she still with Ross? Yeah, I'd be like, I know we're married, but I've had a DM from a great celebrity. Jessie Pinkman. Yeah. I'm out of here. Jessica, what happened?

So, I put a tweet on Twitter saying, I can't wait for The Last Jedi. It's not really, somebody didn't really message me, but Mark Hamill from Star Wars liked my tweet.

So you didn't tag Mark Hamill in? Yeah, well, I tagged Mark Hamill and he liked my tweet and I was like, really excited. You have a tweet favorited by Luke Skywalker. That's a pretty big deal. It's not a direct message, but it's as close as you're going to get. He's all over social media, though. I reckon you wouldn't have to do too much to get a message from Mark Hamill. Probably not, but I was really excited about it.

My dad was pretty jealous as well. Oh, intergenerational. He's been Luke's guy for so long. Hey, Jessica, thanks for your call. No worries. Somebody said I started speaking to Dwayne the Rock Johnson through social media. Okay.

Wow. And ended up sharing a photo of me from my fitness comp on his Instagram page. Oh. Because he'd have millions of followers as well. Yeah. Millions and millions of followers. Were they just doing Fitspo chat or something?

Maybe it started out with a bit of Fitspo. It's like, brah, what's your protein shake? Brah. Oh, brah. Yeah, your protein shake? Brah. Oh, brah. You're a pre-worker, brah. Somebody said, I fanned pretty hard, but it was also 10 years late reviewing stand-up comedian Dane Cook's stand-up set, Vicious Circles.

10 years later, he was quite quick with a reply, saying, thanks for that. Better late than never. But that's the thing. He's probably not getting much anymore. No. So now when he gets it, he's like, I'm going to reply to that. That was lovely. But that's the thing. He's probably not getting much anymore. No. So now when he gets it, he's like,

I'm going to reply to that. That was lovely. Someone took the time out. Someone said, they don't want to name names. Okay. But a New Zealand band frontman. Okay.

Replied to them on, slid into the DMs. And that led to something more. Oh, what's that? Notes and it led to something more. Oh, what that's like saying a number one hit? I like to think it was Michael Murphy. That's going back. Now, coming up on the show, Heads or Tails with

MyTex going to give away some cash. And also I was privy to someone on the show giving a well, I say motivational speech yesterday. Bourne was asked to do a, wow, I say motivational speech yesterday. Vaughn was asked to do, I mean, I don't know how. You were asked to do a motivational speech and I was there. Now, am I correct in saying a business chamber of commerce audience? Auckland Chamber of Business.

He doesn't even know. I know. No, I do know. I'm laughing because it's so ridiculous. Vaughn Smith gave a motivational speech to a business group. And I recorded it. Oh, yes. And we're going to play some of that for you next.

Now, yesterday, Vaughn was scheduled to, I was going to say perform, but. Deliver a motivational speech. Deliver a motivational speech to a business forum. I want to tell you how I... How this came to be? Right, yeah. My agent rang me when we were finished before Easter. Yep.

And was like, I've got this little favour to ask. Yep. I hate being asked favours. Let's say that. I can't say no to too many of them. Right. And I never say no. I was like, I'll check.

Right. Okay. And then just turn my phone off. I just say I'll do them and don't turn was like I'll check right okay and then just turn my phone off I just say I'll do them and don't turn up like I did yesterday I don't do that classic

I don't do that I always say oh let me check and then come up with an excuse later so I was like what's this favour

it's just a little chat just a few people and here's the date and I was like oh okay that's okay yeah right it was 350 people just a few people and here's the date. And I was like, oh, okay, that's okay. Yeah, right. It was 350 people. Right, okay.

It was the Auckland Chamber of Business. Right. And it was like a luncheon for administration professionals. Right, so the idea was you would give, what was the topic? Were you told just be motivational? Yeah. Oh, so the idea was you would give, what was the topic? Were you told just be motivational? Yeah. Oh, right, okay. Wasn't it heroes of

the media? Or something like that? I don't want to say the H word, but sure, it was heroes of the media. Again, this is why we're baffled. And I get there and there's heroes of the media and I was like, heroes of the media? And like, caricature of myself in a superhero costume. I was like, uh-oh media. And like caricature of myself in a superhero costume.

I was like, uh-oh. And I wasn't told. I agreed to do it on the conditions that I went first. Yeah. No one was better than me. And I could wear what I wanted. Yeah. So I wore what I want and everybody wondered why I was there

because I was just in like jeans and a scraggly sweatshirt. Yeah. And I went last and I went after two very motivational people. Right. Yeah. He jumps up on stage and like everyone's pretty well dressed. It's a nice, it's a very fancy sit down lunch. How motivational were the speeches before you?

Oh, they were really good. Jehan Kassanata, he's a journalist. He's the son of refugees who had to flee Sri Lanka during a civil war. And then made a... Don't know, the thing was,

he was a super, a protege in his teenage years. Yeah. He just submitted articles to newspapers and they printed them because they never asked how old he was

because they were just like... How old was he? Like 13 or 14. Oh, that's a superhero of the media. He got up on stage and commanded the room. He spoke like a young Obama.

And I was just like, uh-oh. And then Micaiah Carr gets up and she's all over social media. She's very influential and motivating. And she told this amazing story about how when she was 18 and she had a baby, everyone was like, you're too young to have a baby and you're too young to be with your partner. And she was like, screw you all, and moved from rural Taranaki to Wellington

and, like, made it for herself. It was a very moving, like, emotive speech. And then Vaughan Smith gets up on stage. Oh, hi, everybody. Can I get a glass of wine or water? I'll get my water. Thanks. I've got a cold. Thank you. Two hard acts to follow. We've had the motivational, the inspirational, and now you get the situational. Because I always find myself in situations like this. I should be here to tell you that a key point of

being a crucial, important, some would say royal figure of the New Zealand media, is about prep. I didn't even think about writing anything down until last night and I sat down to do it, I was like this, and my wife came in, she's like, oh, Andy's got nuts. And then I've written down, this is where my notes end. Discuss the changing face of media, social media, blah, blah. I wrote some stuff just while the others were talking. So the media sure is changing. I'll leave you with one of my favourite sayings about heroes.

It's from ancient Latin poet Enrique Iglesias. It's real short. It's just, I can be your hero, baby. A couple of them were loving it Did you basically do the high school Grown up version of This is a speech about a speech No there was no speech About speeches

It was just I don't know what happened My favourite thing was at the end, the MC went through what we'd learnt from each person's speech. I know, that was hard. Yeah. And then he said,

what, and Vaughn was here too. He came in, thanks for coming. Vaughn was like, so do I win? How long did that go on for?

Because that was cut down quite substantially. That was cut down quite substantially That was cut down to 13 minutes Is that how I was looking for? Oh dear And is that the most inspirational bits we could find from that whole thing?

You were there Megan? Yeah Oh wow okay Your agent just had her head down the whole time She was the one that actually She was the one that put me in that situation, so she should take the blame. It's her fault. Well, I guess you won't be getting much more work.

No, I wouldn't think so. I wouldn't think so. You've done well in the Megan mantra of life. Don't get good at what you don't want to do. I don't think anyone's going to be asking me for favours again anytime soon. And that is the end game. The end game. Could I just really quickly clear up before

when discussing my non-existent future as a motivational speaker, I said I would need my hands free to gestate. Now that is not the right word. I didn't even pick that. As I said it, I was like, I've missed something. Gesticulate. I gesticulate. Gestate is to grow a baby.

So that means I would need my hands free to, I don't know, presumably hold them in a cup form and start the fertilisation process. The three of us in the studio like a bit of wine. We're not like... I'd say New Zealanders love a bit of wine. If the supermarket aisle at five o'clock's anything to go by. I'm still not ready to drink Chardonnay. No, I'm not there yet.

My palate hasn't matured to the point. You can't become a baby boomer to like that, don't you? Do a Chardonnay. But then I know friends that like a Chardonnay. No, I'm not there yet. My palate hasn't matured to the point, become a baby boomer to like that, don't you? Do a Chardonnay. But then I know friends that like a Chardonnay. I'm just like, what's wrong with you? What about, do you know anyone that likes a room temperature Chardonnay? Oh, yeah. Absolute madness. I'll do a Pinot or a Rosé.

Pinot Noir or a Rosé. Pinot Noir is my route of choice. Your Rosés and white. If you're going to have a white, you go for something sweet. You go for a pinot gris. A Riesling. A Riesling.

Yeah, they're up there. And that's my wine knowledge exhausted. So when you go to the supermarket and you are trying to buy a bottle of wine, but you don't really know what you want, how do you shop? How would you buy a bottle of wine? I always, without a doubt,

100% get the most discounted wine that falls under my $15 price limit. I get, well, you're 15? I'm about 16 and I go for a bottle that looks like it costs in its 20s. I just go for the biggest discount. So if one was 19 and now it's like 11, you're like... In the basket it goes. Yes.

Okay. Yeah, so you try and get the most expensive one for the biggest discount. Well, a wine expert, this is a wine guide author, he says that's not the way to do things. You might be getting the biggest discount, but he says that 85% of all wine sold in supermarkets is discounted,

so the biggest discount doesn't count for much. I'll tell you what else I go to, when they have the little star, you know, they have little wine awards and they have, if there's one that it's like, oh, this is a five star wine, I'm like, okay,

is it on special? Yes, it's under 15. Buying it. It's got lots of stickers. It's a 90 plus out of 100. Yeah, whatever that means. It's got a gold medal. Yep.

So also you said your budget is like $15 for a bottle of wine. It's a hard 15. Okay. I'd say probably max $15 for me too. Well, that is the average. So most people would say that $12 to $14 is how much they plan to spend on a bottle of wine. How many?

Because you're over. What percentage? You're over $15. You said $16. I said $16. And if I want to play Fortnite or if I'm in a little bit of trouble, I'll spend a little bit more. But that means you have to tell your wife that that's a more expensive wine. Or does she know how much it costs?

How did I get it? I think I left a receipt in the bag last time. You want a receipt? I was like, yes, itemize it, please. And could you just put a ring around the wine? I just leave it in the bag so she pulls it out. I stick it to the top of the bottle so she pulls the bottle out. The receipt falls like a feather onto the thing.

She's like, oh, he does love me. Yes, you can play Fortnite. Well, 48% will spend $10 to $14. Yep. 22% are with Vaughan, $15 to $17. And then the higher it gets, the less people. Okay, so this guy is saying don't buy the wine with the biggest discount. What wine do we buy?

He said you will find an excellent wine at $15. Look around the $15 mark because if there's really good wines, they'll discount them to around $15. And if you go to anywhere else other than the supermarket, the supermarket are the only people that have like, is it economy of scale? To sell those wines at that price.

So if you look at $15, you get a really good wine for a really good price. But what if it was 20 and it's now 15? Is that not a really good wine? No, that's a good wine. It's a good wine. It's on sale for $15 is what you want. Okay.

Well, Yvonne has messaged into the show. She's text messaging. She's the chief tasting officer. For? A CTO. A CTO for Winefriend. For Winefriend.co.nz. Okay. And she said,

A, I love me a room temperature Chardonnay. You simply must try it. Yuck. No. She needs to recommend a good one then. She said, lots of stickers, Fletch, doesn't necessarily mean you are going to enjoy it.

Because sometimes your taste won't align with the judging panel. I know they're getting me, but they've got a sticker on and it's like five stars gold medal at some awards. And I'm like, well, I want to win it. I'm real basic. I read the back and if it's got lots of fruity stuff, I'm like, yeah. But if it tastes like wood and like grass,

you're like, oh, no. Slight subtle hints of playground grass on a summer's day and some cashew nuts. A tint of cashew nuts. Smells like bark underneath the children's playground. Like, do you ever pretend to read that shit on the back? Like, what does this even mean? No. An oaky barrel hint of musk.

Yuck. Cool. Who would want a mouthful of musk? I don't know. Especially now that the musk's want a mouthful of musk? I don't know. Especially the musk's been stored in an oaky barrel. I don't know. There could literally be award stickers on cask wine, medium white, and I'd be like, buy this

one. Someone said, someone else messaged in saying they picked up a bottle of wine once that had heaps of shiny stickers on it. It turned out it was one shiny sticker, just different colours. And it said something like winner of the local vintage of the year at the Horofenua horticultural show. So they said, read your stickers. Don't just blindly say a bunch of stickers and think this is for me.

Gold medal and in really small print if there was a medal for this. Somebody else messaged in saying, the science of how you guys choose is unbelievable. I simply put the highest alcohol content, oh, the biggest bottle. Yes, standard drinks. It's such a cool thing. You even pick up a bottle of wine,

you're like, this looks nice. It reads nice. It looks lovely. You turn it around, it's like alcohol percent five. You're like, absolutely not back on the shelf. Yuck. I came here to get booze,

not to taste cherry, hints of cherry. And what flavour of fisherman's Friend do you want? It's the purple. You're eating all the blackcurrant ones. Why don't you try another flavour? If I don't have a sore throat, can I still have one? Yeah.

No. Do you want... No, you should try a mint. They're not spot... I want the yum one. Mint's not a flavour of a mint. It's a ready mint. No, this is original.

And this one's mint. I bought three because I'd never tried the other one, so I just wanted to have a bit of a... These smell pretty good. They're not a sponsoring fact of the day. No, no, they're not. No. We've just got a bit of sniffles and...

These are going to scratch your throat and the world's ending. I feel a bit like mum. I've got a bit of everything. I've got Vicks Vaporub. Do you want me to put some of that on your chest and your back and the bottom of your feet? No, I'll be fine. And put on a pair of bed socks. I'll be fine. I've got a bit of everything I've got. Vicks Vaporub, do you want me to put some of that on your chest and your back and the bottom of your feet? No, I'll be fine. And put on a pair of bed socks.

I'll be fine. I've got Irish moss. This is my... Yeah, I need to have some of that. This is my favourite cough syrup. I always have that but begrudgingly.

Well, you have it when you're not sick. It's good but I don't like the taste. If there's any left after a sickness because I don't measure out 10 mils, I just go like this.

Yeah, same. Just glug it down. Yeah, I go... You out 10 mils. I just go like this. Yeah, same. Just glug it down. Yeah, I go. You're not even sick. I do have a sore throat. Because I keep eating Irish moths. And it burns on the way down. It's time for... Fact of the Day is about sushi.

Sushi. Sushi. Okay. We all love a little bit of sushi. I don't. I don't like sushi. Why? Well, you said we all and I said I don't like it.

What? We're the generational Leaders of sushi I don't believe Generations older than us Engaged in sushi Nearly as much As I don't remember Sushi being around

But then when we Only really became A thing in New Zealand What 15 years ago Didn't it Yeah 15, 20 years ago Before that

It was only for the Highly cultured And those who had been To Japan Yeah So The word sushi Is refers to the vinegared rice. I think that's what I don't like.

The rice tastes, I don't know, I guess it's vinegary. Yeah, yeah, the vinegared rice. That's what sushi is. Sushi is the vinegared rice. It's not the raw fish. Right. It's not anything else. It's not the wrap of seaweed. Right. It's not the raw fish It's not anything else It's not the wrap of seaweed

It's just the vinegar rice Okay I always thought it was the whole thing I thought they'd come for a name of it after Sushi literally means it's sour in Japanese Right And it's from a while ago Because sushi and the fermented fish

Was preserved in salt. So when you ate sushi, it was significantly more sour. But then just add some delicious, sweet teriyaki sauce on that. That's another thing. You would never have sauce on sushi. Sushi is the taste, the flavor of the fish, not for the sauces. Right. Many Japanese purists believe the Westerners have just come in and absolutely run amok.

So would they not have soy sauce? Absolutely run amok here. You've come in here and absolutely run amok with what we've called sushi for centuries. So they wouldn't have soy sauce or wasabi? So they do. They have soy sauce and they have wasabi and they have pickled ginger. Those are the only things. But no teriyaki sauce.

No that. No chilli mayo. No squirrel mayo, no squirms of anything on top. Sometimes I don't get the wasabi and the ginger and they always look like offended or upset. I remember hearing this once because Kiwis, we kind of make a sandwich or a pile with it, don't we? We slap on the wasabi

and then the ginger. The ginger is not to be eaten on top of the sushi. The ginger is to be eaten between different flavours of sushi to cleanse the palate so you can enjoy the next piece of sushi. Oh, I didn't know that. I always put a bit on if I do. It's quite like the taste of it. Yeah.

But then you're right, it takes away from the taste of the sushi. Yeah. So nigiri or nigiri sushi, which is the one where it's just like a clump of rice. Is that the real nice one with the egg on top, the egg bit? No. I like those. It's anything where it's not wrapped.

It's pushed together and then might have a little bit of fish on top. Yeah. I learned this, and this is going to change next time I have some nigiri. It's going to change my life. Because if you're like me, you grab it with fingers or with chopsticks and you dip it into the soy sauce and the rice just falls apart. Yes, it does. It does.

You want to know how to eat it properly? Yeah, get one of those tiny little plastic fish things and then just lift up the flap of salmon and just go. No, apparently the soy sauce affects the integrity of the sushi. So what you do is you grab it, you turn it upside down, and the fish will stick to the rice. Right. And you dip the fish in the soy sauce. The rice never touches the soy sauce. No.

I don't believe that. But then it doesn't soak in as much. What? You use the rice because it soaks in more soy sauce. No, but it's not about soaking up all the soy sauce. That's another thing New Zealanders do. We have to use all of it. Yeah.

The Japanese say you simply get a dot of wasabi and if you need some more, you just dot it at a time. Whereas we go, oh, that's not enough. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the word sushi translates to it's sour and only refers to the vinegared rice part of what we call sushi. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, some research has been done into New Zealanders' shower habits.

Who did this research? Because if someone asked me if they could ask me a few questions about what I did in the shower, I think it was a trap. Creep. Right. Rinnai, who'd make the hot water cylinders. Okay. I didn't think they worried about what went on once the water had been heated.

Well, I think the idea is so that they get some talk, which is what you've just done. Damn it. You've fallen for their media spin. You fell into their press release trap. Exactly. But this is what they've said. When it comes to singing in the shower,

that would be the most popular activity for New Zealanders. 68% say that they do this quite a bit regularly. I need a shower with better acoustics. Yeah, because you don't shower with better acoustics. Yeah, because you don't really have good acoustics. And I want to know, you know those shower domes

that you see advertised that you pop over the top of your shower and it stops the steam getting out? Yeah, I used to have one of those. Do they increase acoustics

or make it worse? Does it dull the sound? No, it dulls the sound a wee bit. It could be what I'm after. I don't know why it sounds terrible. I don't know

if a shower dome is going to make your singing better. That's the cause there. Yeah be what I'm after. I don't know why it sounds terrible. I don't know if a shower dome is going to make your singing better. That's the cause there. Yeah, well I'm just looking for some shortcuts. Right. 47% say they like to share a shower with their partner. Which you can do if you've got a big enough shower. Yeah. Some people don't.

It's a small shower. I'm on a probation from showering together. Why? I did a wee on her foot. And that used to be funny and cute when we were in our 20s and lived in a flat. But now we're married, responsible parents, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wheeze told us about that. Wheeze on the foot isn't funny anymore. I literally don't know how she puts up with you.

Not now. You're right. Maybe you're too old to be carrying on like that now. I don't want society to set precedence of what I can do. It's a fun game, though. It's a fun game. Hey, look. Oh, you don't tell them.

You just start. And the game is if you can finish and I've not noticed then. This is the part of the survey which I find disgusting and weird and gross. Not the peeing on the foot, was it? No, no, no. Well, that wasn't surveyed, Vaughan. I mean, maybe if they had. 7% of people have admitted to eating in the shower.

Eating and showering. So, excuse me, eating in the showering is not as bad as peeing on someone. That's not in the survey. And plus, it goes down the same hole, doesn't it? It doesn't matter. That aside, eating in the shower, that's weird because, to me, it's a place of clean, you know? Cleanliness.

Well, I don't want to, where am I going to put my container when I finish my butter chicken? No, but the thing is. My naan's going to get soggy from the steam. I mean, that's very true. It would all depend on what you're eating. I'm just trying to look at that. I've eaten that going to get soggy from the steam. I mean, that's very true. It would all depend on what you're eating. I'm just trying to like

get an apple in the shower. I eat an apple in the shower. I'm the semi-regular. I've had watermelon in the shower. You don't rub it over your body. Good shower fruit. Good shower fruit.

Because it's already water. And when it gets all over your face, you just wash it off. What are you so busy that you can't eat watermelon on the couch and then have a shower? No, it's just enjoyable

because one's cold and the shower's hot. You couldn't eat a sandwich because the moisture and the water would ruin the bread. Produce a cake then. You eat in the shower. Yeah, I eat carrots. Good shower food.

It takes a long time to eat. And also, showers can be quite boring if you're just waiting for like, you know, you've got to wait for a couple of minutes. How long are you in there? Well, you've got to wait for a couple of minutes. How long are you in there? Well, you've got to wait for a couple of minutes for the conditioner and the face wash. Oh, but then you're getting Pantene or Fructis on your carrot. That goes down the back, not the front. No, what are you doing in the shower? We didn't use conditioner for a while.

You tip your head back and you lower the carrot like a sword. You eat it like that. So that your shampooed hair doesn't get on it. Right, okay. And then you can just, and then I like to pop the little end bit over the shower and then it goes, it like that. So that your shampooed hair doesn't get on it. Right, okay. And then you can just, and then I like to pop the little end bit over the shower and then it goes, it's fun. Where do you chuck it back into the bathroom? No, I chuck it into the sink.

And I'm like, if I get it in, I'm like, woo-wee. Yeah, shower time's fun. Oh my God. See, I bite him off a carrot first. If I pick up a carrot to eat it, I go, and like a grenade, I go, and I spit out the stalky bit, and then I get into my carrot. Thick end first, which is a controversial way to eat a carrot, by the way.

Oh, yeah, not controversial. Thick end first. Little end first. No. Have you ever had, when I'm getting ready to go out, like to have a drink in the shower? Always. Have like a cider or a bottle. Nothing beats a beer in the shower.

Shower beers are champion beers. Top five way to drink a beer. Okay. Pool beer, shower beer, a lot of water-based beer drinking. Right, okay. This is weird. I'm finding this all weird

because it's a no-go zone for food. I just, it grosses me out. Well, so you're just not there long enough. You're like with everything in life. I don't have anything for long. Get in, get out. If I was rich enough, I'd have a fridge in the wall of my shower.

With just a couple of beers in there, like a wine glass on the chill with a bottle of rose. Maybe an anti-pesto, what do you call it? Anti-pesto. Anti-pesto. That would be on a slide-out shower. Anti-pesto. Salami. Salami.

Blue cheese and a cracker. Hummus. Blue cheese would go well in a shower. Blue cheese, let me put this to you, Megan, as soon as I fletch a shower food snob. Yeah. Blue cheese with pear in the shower because I think the heat and the atmosphere would add something to the pear blue cheese.

Okay. Contrast. I want to ask the question now. Do you eat in the shower and what do you eat? Can you beat the odd bit of fruit or carrot? Is somebody actually doing their dinner in the shower? I know I had a flatmate that would eat a pie in the shower but it would always be a plastic bagged pie

because it was like a shower cap for the pie. Which is actually quite clever. A pie cap. Yeah. So you'd eat the pie with the capped end towards the water. So it would be like a protective layering. Alright, text us.

9696 0800 Dials. Do you eat food in the shower? Fleet, you want to make it? Make it? So, there are 7% of you dirty, disgusting people that eat food in the shower. I think it must be more than that. We are not alone.

Megan, you and Vaughn have both admitted to eating several things in the shower. I wouldn't say admitted. It's not something I have to admit to. It's great. Oh, okay. It's fun. We've happily aligned ourselves as the shower eaters.

Chrissy, what do you eat in the shower? Surprisingly, cereal. I've got to get to work early, and so I've got no time to get the bowl out of the dishwasher and all of that so do it all in the shower it's great it's easy

do you have a shelf that you set the cereal on so you don't or do you get your cereal ready in the kitchen then go in so I prep the cereal then I get myself

you know all the stuff ready laid out uniform all of that and then there's you know where your soap

you hold the soap your shaver up there or whatever if I need to you know have a break I'll hold the soap, you have your shaver up there or whatever. If I need to, you know, have a break, I'll place it up there, but you've just got to be careful that the water doesn't actually get in there because that just ruins everything.

Water's down the, imagine if it was watering down your Cocoa Pops. Or you'll get to your cereal and you're like, damn it, I've got no milk, but I've still got cereal. If you could just give it a quick under the shower. When it gets a bit like dry and stodgy. It just became green top milk rather than blue top milk.

Yeah, all right, thanks. You're cool. Chrissy, Leah. So when I'm hungover, my husband actually cooks me bacon and eggs and will bring it to me in the shower. Get out. Do you have a seat in the shower or do you stand and eat them? No, I sit on the floor.

How do you stop the water getting all over the bacon and eggs? We've got one of those shower heads that you can pull off. So where do you put that then? I stick it around my shoulder and I have it running down my back. Oh, okay. How many times will this have happened? About four times. Wow.

Enough to be a bit of a habit. But what about, like, because sometimes you really have to cut the bacon. Is there enough? It's just on your lap. You just eat it. Yeah, it's fine. You just cross your legs, put it on the ground and you're all good. You've got teeth. Get into it. Have you ever had

an accident where you've sploshed it all with water? No. Okay. She's a professional. Okay. Leah, I made you. No judge. Thanks for your call. No worries. Somebody else said I'll regularly eat toast in the shower. Banana and watermelon are my two fruits of the shower. Watermelon is ace.

Fruits of the shower. It's like a body wash. Garnier fruit is fruits of the shower. Somebody said, breakfast in the shower every day. Great place to hide from the children. Pancakes is a treat on Sundays. A mother of two. This seems to be a regular sort of thing. Maybe parents are finding a littlecakes is a treat on Sundays. A mother of two. This seems to be a regular sort of thing.

Maybe parents are finding a little bit of a reclusive spot. Yeah. I hide a bag of pineapple lumps in an old bag of frozen chuckwagon vegetables. Brilliant. No one ever looks in the bag of chuckwagon vegetables, so my pineapple lumps are safe. Frozen, I'll eat those in the shower.

A hot, hot shower. It's the contrast. That's what I'll eat those in the shower. A hot, hot shower. It's the contrast. That's what I was saying before about the contrast between the hot and the cold. Sounds good. It's an absolute delight. Yeah. Okay. Somebody said, on your team, Fletch, for the contrast, for the balance. No, this is terrible. Both of my hands are

very busy while I'm in the shower, washing my hair and my body. Yeah. Exactly. Why don't you just give it a wee try? See how you go. The only place they chew chewing gum is in the shower. They don't chew it day to day unless they're in the shower. That's weird. Why is that?

Because it gets real minty. I have chewed chewing gum in the shower before. Yeah, it's because it feels cold in your mouth. Somebody said once when they were sad, they had a full jar of Nutella on the floor of the shower. Oh, no judge. No judge. That's actually no.

Even for someone that doesn't like food in the shower, that's not bad. No. Not a bad way to get over a breakup. But if you fell, if you stood up and were like, oh God, and you dropped the jar and the jar broke and there was Nutella everywhere, and then you're like, oh, help, I've cut myself,

and someone comes in, hard to explain. CDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Tell her everywhere. And then you're like, oh, help, I've cut myself. And someone comes in. Hard to explain.