ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 17 2019

Episode Date: April 16, 2019

August made the most of a fan in the supermarket yesterday, tips to help you quit a habit and when did your bits get stuck?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner Megan. The podcast. Thank you, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Warner Megan. I love that stat. I love that people are going to the doctor and they're like, got any weed? Just a little bit of weed. While I'm here. Oh, I've got a sore knee. Does it give you some? No, no, knee doesn't give you some. Yeah.

I can't imagine asking. Yeah. What's not a thing yet, is it? So, hold your horses. Yeah. How weird is that, that you... Well, I can't hold my horses. I've got carpal tunnel.

I need weed to make the pain go away. You could get medicinal marijuana for your carpal tunnel. How would the show be then? Well, let's see. What have we got to lose? You've got to try these things. I mean, I'd probably recommend driving to work first. Yeah, right.

Oh, yeah, definitely. And then... I don't even know how to do drugs, so I don't know what you do next. Yeah, look at it. I think you look at it. You look at it and it gets you high. Yeah, okay, that'll happen. Gotta be careful with those ones.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time, as always, I'm going to deliver you three news headlines. Quirky, unusual news stories. WarnerMeg and pick one of the following three. Headline one, drunk driver makes it easy for cops. Headline two, San Fran, the city of poop. And headline three, man thought someone was in apartment.

Those are the headlines. San Fran, city of poop. Yes. I see that San Fran was going to, on other San Fran news, it was going to be the first city in America to have facial recognition cameras around the city. Oh, okay. And the police are trying to over, apparently they breached something, so the police are trying to get that overturned because they said they just need,

with low police numbers and everything they need as much assistance as they can get. But then you're going to turn into like Big Brother China Police State. Yeah. Black Mirror kind of stuff. That's about scar way. So that's not the perp I'm imagining. No. Okay.

I like the one with the they thought there was someone in the house. Man thought someone was in apartment? Yeah. Okay. You want to go that one? Yeah. Or Pope or drunk driver.

Okay. No, that one. Man thought someone was in the apartment. Okay, we go now to Newport, New Hampshire, where police say a man is accused of firing a shot from his gun after he thought he heard someone in his apartment. He was in bed and admittedly he'd had a couple of drinks and that's when he heard somebody creeping around. He heard the floorboards creaking.

So as you do, you just fire your gun. You reach into your bedside table and you grab your gun. We know nothing from Oscar V your gun. Under your pillow. We know nothing from Oscar Vestorius. We think so. Well, anyway, that shot went up through the ceiling into the apartment above where the noise was coming from

and went into a two-year-old's leg. That two-year-old is okay. Oh my God. It's in a stable condition, but I believe the mum or the parents upstairs with the two year old are absolutely shocked, as you would be, and the man was arrested and

faces charges of reckless conduct with a deadly weapon and second degree assault. He could have so, like, a toddler's leg is so close to its head. Or any other part that could have killed him. Yeah. Him or her. Isn't that nuts? It's insane. Like, does he leg is so close to its head. Or any other part that could have killed him. Yeah.

Him or her. Isn't that nuts? It's insane. Like, just hear something, fire your gun. I mean, you've got neighbours upstairs. But I thought it was in his own apartment. He just heard a noise up there and decided to shoot it. Well, no, I think he thought it was in his apartment.

Oh, but he was drunk. Why would you shoot upwards then? Maybe a warning shot. Oh, my God. And then you're like, oh, that's right, I've got neighbours. Literally all around me. Yeah. Below me, above me,

into the side, to the side. That's madness. America. Yeah. That's not good, is it? They need their guns for protection. Yeah.

It's an amendment. Yeah. Or something, yeah. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Facebook is tri, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Facebook is trialling a new thing, and this would completely change the interface of Facebook.

Is that the right word, interface? Does that sound real smart for a second? Well, that's like, yeah, I guess what it looks like. The look of it, yeah. Algorithmic. So this isn't. No, wrong word. This isn't at public testing phase.

So no one's got this. You know how some people get to test a feature before others. It hasn't got that far yet. They're still working on it, but the site wouldn't scroll from top to bottom. You wouldn't scroll up or down. You would scroll across like a carousel. Like Tinder for everybody.

Yeah. So you'd be like swipe, swipe, swipe. Interesting. I thought stories and newsfeed would all be in the one. So you'd scroll across, it would be a post, or you'd scroll across and it would be a story. Oh, man. But then no one, well, the occasional person on my Facebook

uploads a Facebook story. But I guess maybe that's what they're trying to do is make stories more of a thing. Well, and if you're linked in with Instagram, they might bring those over as well. Yeah, you can. You can already link somebody. Yeah, you can.

Yeah. So, because we, I think we mentioned a while ago that Instagram are looking at doing that as well, like the swiping left to right through the feed instead of scrolling down. Right. Really? Just because we've all...

Are they going to integrate posts and stories as well? Not on Instagram. No, they just swipe. You just swipe. I'm not okay with that. I thought, now this is just my idea, they can't have this for free. They can pay me a crazy amount of money for it. Okay.

But you would scroll down and it would show if you belong to your local community page or your friend posts multiple things, you'd scroll down and you'd see that and then there'd be a tiny little arrow saying that this has new things that you can swipe right to see. So you'd be scrolling down and it would get to wherever you live, the local Facebook page and then down the bottom there's a little arrow

and it's like three so you can scroll across and see that there's been three posts since you looked at that page last time. Then you scroll back and you can keep scrolling down and then if you've got someone who's uploading like multiple things a day you get to them and it's been three posts since you looked at that page last time. Then you scroll back and you can keep scrolling down. And then if you've got someone who's uploading like multiple things a day, you get to them and it's like three. So if you're not interested, keep scrolling. But if you are interested to see what they've been doing,

you can scroll across. Otherwise, then you can just keep scrolling down. So it's a vertical scroll. Well, somebody wants to work at Facebook, don't they? I'm just thinking that that was a good way of doing it. Because, you know, rather than having your page or your mobile feed flooded with just nonsense from your local page that you want to be part of in case there's a police siren and you want to be a nosy parker, do the harker and find out what's happening. But you don't want it to own your page.

So then you could scroll right through and see that. I don't know how it would work on desktop as much. If I had the option to look, it's like, here's three new posts. I'd be like, meh. Exactly. But if it was something serious and it came up in your feed, you'd be like, oh, what's happening? You know?

Well, then like Howard already knows to put that at the front. I would put that at the first ones of the scrollies. Yeah, right. But what if I couldn't be bothered scrolling through? I'd miss it. That's all right. You were never meant to see it. Okay.

Well, yeah, they're still in the testing phase. They haven't rolled it out to anyone publicly yet, but it could be coming. Is this another thing we can blame Tinder for? Yeah, I think so. Like, that's how we're all used to scrolling now? Cross. Swiping?

Yeah. Just swiping, yeah. So everything has to be a swipe? I'm not opposed to it. I think it could be good. Remember back in the day when Facebook would change one thing and everyone would bitch in mind? And now you're just like,

now it looks different, I'm leaving. Here we are 10 years later. Still here. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Just wait for Megan to get back from her poos. No. Someone, I just want everyone to know I was not the person who made that mess in the sink.

What happened in the sink? Someone pooed in the sink. What are you doing in the sink? No, not pooed. Someone spewed in the sink. Someone spewed in the sink. And didn't clean up. Yeah.

I just need everyone to know that was not me. This is the weird thing. Sometimes I'll find the toilets here in such a state. It's like we're all adults. You'd never leave your own toilet like that, would you? Feels so grim. I don't want to start a rumor here, but is there some morning sickness going on? Oh.

Well, we don't know what time it could be at any time, right? Well, it's either morning sickness or someone got on the booze at work and spewed in the late night. Why are you looking at me, Fletch? I have been having a lot of sex lately. I have not! More than, say, the last six months would be more than the six months previous.

Oh, when they didn't have a boyfriend? Yeah. No, definitely not pregnant, guys. I've taken three pregnancy tests lately. She was like, I've got weir on here. Oh, my God, I know. What do you do? You just take one every week.

Oh, my God, I forgot. Just doing the weekly shop. You're like, oh, I'm going to grab a couple of pregnancy tests just to make sure I'm not expecting. Wow, that just happened. Wow, I know. Sorry, I don't know what happened. No, that's all right.

Okay, we'll just turn my microphone off. But did you, like, get a three-pack? So you're like, well, I might as well use the other two. No, you do get three-packs, don't you? You can. Yeah, it's the cheapest way to buy them, isn't it? I So you're like, well, I might as well use the other two. No, you do get three-packs, don't you? You can. It's the cheapest way to buy them, isn't it? I was at the doctor, so. Okay.

Do the doctors give you pregnancy tests? Yeah. Do they test you? Yeah. I didn't know that. They make you wheeze. Is it the same? Do they just have a little wheeze stick?

Yeah. It's very interesting. And I made her do three of them. Are you sure? Anyway, you just got a drawer of them. Can I do three of them. Are you sure? Anyway, you've just got a drawer of them. Can I have three of them, please? Yeah, today's top six. The top six other things you might as well

take out of planes. Delta Airlines are going to take away the reclining option of a seat. Which, on a short flight, I'm all for. Especially domestics. I always forget to recline a seat on a domestic flight. Yeah, same. And then I get to the end of it and they're like, everybody seats up. I'm like, damn it.

Yeah, I'm the same. Don't take full advantage. So the top six other things you might as well get rid of as well. Number six, windows. Once you're up, the view's all the same. Yeah. Blue, bit of cloud. What do you need that for?

Well, some airlines do virtual windows. Whom? And they're talking about doing it. Will.i.am's airline? From the year 3008? No, isn't it like Emirates or some of the flash airlines have like ooh-la-la first class or business in the middle. So they've got these like fake windows.

Oh. Yeah. In their suites. What does the outside look like? Nothing. It's just a wall, isn't it? It's just a window screensaver, Megan, of pipes or something. Oh, right.

Or you wouldn't want an aeroplane. No. It would freak you right out. You'd be like, the Earth's just had a blue screen. Number five on the list of the top six things you might as well get rid of if you're going to take out the reclining of seats. Air conditioning. You never quite get that right, so you might as well get rid of it.

And it feels sometimes like, because I know they recirculate the air, it just feels like we're getting germs blown in our face. Yeah. You know, if you look up and it goes, and it blows in your mouth so much that it makes a little noise. Are you showing us the virtual windows? I'm showing you the virtual windows. Look at that.

They look real, don't they? It looks like you're on the ground and they're refueling out there. But so does the, when you go up in the air, it changes? Yeah. Oh, well, it's just a live camera feed that feeds to those screens that are the shape of windows. Then it's raining when you get on the plane and you get inside and you're like, that's a beautiful day now.

Sure. In those two seconds. No, because it's a live camera feed. Oh, is it a camera feed? Yeah. Yes. It's not a pre-recorded message. Someone put on the takeoff tape.

We're about to do the takeoff tape. That's what I thought it was. No, no, no. It's a live camera feed. Number four on the list-off tape We're about to do the take-off tape That's what I thought it was No, no, no It's a live camera feed Number four on the list Of the top six things You might as well get rid of If you're going to get rid

Of reclining seats Carpet I've often thought It's weird having carpet on a plane It'd be easy to just have Tiles or liners So you can just hose it down Tiles

Like a pig style Like a pig If you've ever Cleaned up after an animal On concrete You just Wash it all away. Imagine the sound of the heels or like business shoes.

Clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop. I always pretty much just go straight into socks the minute I get on the plane and I'm in socks all the whole time. And then you stand in something sort of sticky on the carpet and you're like, shouldn't have done that. Number three on the list of the top six other things to get rid of if you're going to get rid of reclining seats. Lights.

When it's night time, it's bloody night time. Want to read a book? Bring a head torch. Yeah. Yeah, bring your own torch. That's a bit of a savings there. You could reroute that power into the engines. Economy.

Trust me. Yeah, you know. You know what you're talking about Yeah I'm an aeronautical engineer Yeah Number two on the list Of the top six things You want to get rid of

If you're going to get rid Of reclining seats The toilets Like not the Idea of the toilet Well the idea of the toilet The shape of the toilet Just have a hole in the ground

I mean what can go wrong It works It works in Southeast Asia It's only a pressurised cabin board I doubt it would suck you out Yeah You sit on there Will some people get A little bit blocked up That would probably be helpful If it only a pressurised cabin board. I doubt it would suck you out. Yeah. You sit on there.

Well, some people get a little bit blocked up. That would probably be helpful if it had a pressurised little bit of suction to assist or suck you inside out. One of the two things. And the number one thing you might as well get rid of if you're going to get rid of reclining seats for today's top six, the ramps in. If you can't climb up the rope later onto the plane, maybe you're not meant to go on the plane. It would also take care of people who are taking too much carry on.

Yeah. If you can't strap it to your back and bring it aboard, then you can't bring it aboard. Fair call. Right? That's today's top six.

Just writing down 73 billion. Okay. You're going to see how I get to 73 billion. Is this Vaughan Smith Does Maths? Yep. By the way, Caitlin and I have got a great maths challenge going at the moment.

I saw her on Instagram. We had some long multiplication yesterday. And Caitlin's actually bought a maths book to sharpen up her maths skills. Are you kidding? A maths... Oh, my God. Wait a minute. That's like year three.

Yeah, it's for ages seven to nine. I'm learning what the number before 256 is. Oh, so there's like a series of patterns and there's a blank and you've got to work out what it is from the previous in the post. But it's helping with my subtraction, which I'm not very good at. Right. Okay. Let's go shove on the math skills.

Yeah, I can do with one of those. Felt really good yesterday Nailing some long division Why though? Use a calculator Oh but you know You've got a Brainy bit Yeah I just get to the hard bits

And be like Actually why am I doing this? Too hard CBF So anyway This is the maths Of what I'm about to tell you And it's

Why again We're being reminded That weeing in the shower Is great Madonna Famously loves the whiz In the shower How do we know that? Great for the athletes is great. Madonna famously loves to whiz in the shower. How do we know that?

Great for the athlete's foot. She said it on a talk show once. And at the time, it was quite edgy and out there that she said it. But now it's just... I feel like now we can all admit that we do it. I don't. No, I don't. You're just lying.

I go to the toilet before I get in the shower if I need to go. Environmental terrorist. Because peeing in the shower if I need to go. Environmental terrorist. Because peeing in the shower is saving tons of water. So the average, this is the thing, the average flush of the modern Western style toilet

uses approximately six litres of water. Now you might have slightly less because I know that there's toilets now that use less water and they've changed the design.

Yeah, what if it's a half flush? I don't even think it's fully a half flush. I feel like it's a two-thirds flush. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you don't want a bit of a yellow leftovers.

Because you can just hit the half flush and it just goes. Well, that's the thing about wheeze is it doesn't need much encouragement to get going. Not like a big poo. Yeah. Not like a heavy poo. Yeah. Which needs a bit more water to get going. Not like a big poo. Yeah. Not like a heavy poo. Yeah. Which needs a bit more water to get going. So the average adult goes seven times

in 24 hours. Goes wheeze seven times in 24 hours. Really? Yep. So that means every day 42 litres of water is used to flush away wheeze. Because a lot of people have those rules if there's like if they're on tank water and maybe they're low if it's yellow yellow let it mellow

let it mellow famously post Christchurch earthquake yeah water restrictions led to if it's yellow let it mellow

if it's brown flush it down yeah or get a stick and break it up go to your neighbours yeah do it somewhere else maybe go to a public toilet yeah

wreck that so 42 litres a day which means over the course of the year the average person uses 15,000 litres. Now, if we're in New Zealand, we've got a population of 4.8 million. Yep. That's 73 billion litres of water a year used to flush away wheeze.

Oh, Lord. Yeah. Obviously, this doesn't count for the urinal users and the times you might go somewhere else, but I'm imagining those use a fair chunk of water as well. What's the math saying? If you're going to shower anyway, you might as well do a wheeze while you're in the shower because the water's already on. You're already

using the water to wash yourself. Yeah, but the water's there to be used, right? What's the problem with using that much water? Well, because you're using extra. You're an eco-terrorist. But why is that a bad thing? You're basically putting straws in turtles. No straws.

Excuse me. No. A straw nose catheter. No, but I don't understand. Like the water's there to be used. Unless you're on water restrictions, what's the problem? Well, I mean, I think it's just saying that you have to treat the water and obviously there's the environmental cost of treating it

and then treating it beforehand to get it to a drinkable quality and then treating it afterwards to get it back into a quality where it can be reintroduced to the environment. And keeping people in jobs. Basically, this has been justified by someone who likes doing wheeze in the shower. Me. Sometimes if... Standing in your own wheeze. Yeah.

Well, it's not for long. It all washes away. I actually take a lot of... If you do a wh a wee and it's really yellow and it takes ages to completely disappear, I'm like, someone needs to drink some more water. There is a new trend when it comes to funerals and like this funeral organiser, she has said none of us is getting out of this alive. So we might as well celebrate it when it does come to an end. So the new trend

is a celebration of life rather than a funeral. Which I guess, that's what they called Nipsey Hussle's funeral. A big celebration of life. And there is some that are being called like Memorial Palooza.

Or like putting in festival names into. Or like if you pass away, Vaughan, we could do Vaunchella. Yep. And we could have Kanye perform. I remember we're pushing him out to sea and we're firing burning arrows. Oh, yeah, I'm having a Viking funeral. So I don't know what a Viking festival is. I've told you we're not allowed to do that, Vaughan.

We can't just push you. Look, that's only if you ask them. It's Auckland Harbour. It's a very big harbour. Yeah, but people don't want to be doing their daily commute

from Devonport to Auckland past a raft with a burning person on it. What do you mean? You mean that it's spice up and boring down the ferry? What if you hit some

rough wake from the ferry? That's life. And life. You just roll on off. Is this trend because people are getting less religious now? Maybe. Because I'm not a religious person. I go to

a funeral and it's heaps of God stuff and I'm like, but it always depends. I've been to a few lately that, I mean, that sounds depressing, but a guy we used to work with recently passed away and his funeral was one of my, like, it was God stuff and I'm like that always depends I've been to a few lately that I mean that sounds depressing but the a guy we used to work with recently passed away and his funeral

was one of my like it was I cried heaps but it was one of my favourites like if that is how your friends and family see you off

it's a damn shame you weren't here for it because it's exactly what you would have wanted so the some of the trends are this seems a bit weird,

but having like hot dog carts, gift bags. Down for it. Yes. It's kind of like a wedding. And then like merch even. So like pick your favourite. This one person had loved baseball. So there was baseball caps and they had a pretty like fun view on everything.

They said life's not fair. Get over it. So everyone could get merch from the celebration of life. If I die, oh, you didn't have a car, Fletch. Can you put one of those things on your back window, Megan? Oh, do I have to? Born and then like the year I was born and then the year I died and then like a little saying like he loved not much.

Goats, he loved his goats. He loved his goats. He loved his goats. And a bit of Summer Burley. And he just loved her. Why'd you get him started? Why'd you get him started? Yeah, that would be my dream.

Yeah, right. Could you just buy a car to get it in the back? Yeah, sure. Sure. Because, I mean, your dad could make them, so they'd be high-quality vinyl. Oh, God. That's good.

And pick, like, a gothic font. How long do you leave high-quality vinyl. Oh, God. That's good. I'd pick like a gothic font. How long do you leave those on for? I don't know. Quite a while. I think we'll go against your wishes. Just sell it with the car. I didn't go with your wishes when you were here. I'm not going to go with your wishes when you're not.

That's very rude. I kind of like that, though. I kind of like that. Me too. It's a more modern take, isn't it? And they're already, I mean, it's already A pretty somber Situation Yeah So why not

Make it a celebration Of you know Well there should be Some laughs shouldn't there Well the traditional funeral It's all like Everything's pitched For it to be sad

Yeah Like If you had it in a church They're always so Big and cold feeling Aren't they Yeah And the music's slow

And it's You know Traditionally you wore black. Everything was kind of pitched to be. I could do mine at Rainbow's End because they do functions. We could put you on the log flint. Right at the end it just goes into the water.

Under the water and that's it. You make sure I'm dressed up. I want to wear heels. And you could like... You're lying down, mate. The heels are going to add nothing. Yeah. But if that's what you want. Oh, God, imagine if your dress went up, though.

I don't think she's on the log flume. She's not on the log flume. Oh, no, I thought she was on the log flume. She moved on to a separate... Oh, right. No, no. Right. Yeah, no.

Yeah. But I wouldn't be embarrassed. I'm not here anymore. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, well, remember that when we saw Nana Maganoff? Yeah, yeah.

We saw her vagina as she came down the log floor. What a treat. That was my final gift. My final gift to the world. It was demanded heels, but not underpants on her corpse. It was old. Like when a window is just a little bit open and the southerly blew through. It's my final gift to humanity.

I've never been a smoker so I don't know how hard it is to quit but, you know, we all know it's pretty difficult. You must have had friends that, because I've got friends, a couple of friends that I know of that are always like smoking

and then they quit and some of them have quit for like a couple of years or a know of that are always smoking, and then they quit. Some of them have quit for a couple of years or a year at a time, and then all of a sudden you see them on the durries at a party, and you're just like, hmm. I'll just have one or two when I'm out socialising, and then, yeah. Yeah. So there is one thing, a new study has discovered, one thing that could help you finally beat the ciggies.

And it's not something you actually eat. It's just down to sniffing chocolate. I couldn't stop there. What kind of chocolate? Well, not white chocolate. I don't think it has to be like that. It's more white chocolate bashing. I love a bit of white chocolate bashing.

It's not a chocolate. It can be dark. It can be milk. It can be, yeah, just not white chocolate because white chocolate doesn't really smell that much. So it's coming up to morning break. You're ready for your coffee and your ciggy like you normally have.

Not that I know because I'm not a smoker, but I'm assuming that's I see them all out there in their coffee and morning break. And if chocolate's not your bag, breathing in pleasant odours. So say you're going for your ciggy break and you're like trying to quit.

Just take something with you. It could be like vanilla, peppermint, chocolate. Oh, vanilla's nice. You know like vanilla essence? The bottle? Extract. Because essence is vanilla as beaver butt. Is sniffing tobacco supposed to be

a way to quit as well? Well, it would satisfy one of the aspects of Yes, it is. Is sniffing tobacco supposed to be a way to quit as well? Well, it would satisfy one of the aspects of smoking, I suppose, if you were getting a smell of it. So it makes your cravings fall by 23% when you breathe in your favourite smell, a really nice smell. But then who's just sniffing chocolate? I know. I'd have to eat it.

Then you'd get fat and you'd be like, well. Yeah, and then every time you were going to go have a ciggy, you're going to have a bar of chocolate instead. Yeah. There's that whole thing. Yeah. Because, yeah, when I'm on a diet, a strict diet, I always sniff people's food.

Because then you feel like you were kind of a part of it. That's so sad. I can't. Did you just hear what you said? Yeah, I did. But, I mean, it does, it satisfies part of your craving, because it kind of feels like you enjoyed it for a moment. But yeah,

I don't know if you, I mean, give it a try. It doesn't say that you shouldn't then eat it. You shouldn't eat it. I mean, you probably shouldn't eat a chocolate bar every time you were going to smoke. No. Could we take some calls from people that have quit something?

Like, what was the one thing that worked for you? Because maybe we could find some tips in this for people. So it doesn't have to be smoking. If you've quit something that you thought you couldn't live without. It could be junk food. How did you do it? We go through, like, you know, ups and downs of that, don't we? Yeah. I mean, I've never had to quit smoking,

so I don't know what that would be like. It looks so hard, though. But maybe there was one thing. I've tried to quit cola and replace it with fiz so I don't know what that would be like. It looks so hard, though. I've tried to quit cola and replace it with fizzy water, and that works for a little bit. For fizzy water, you just need to go wheeze, heebs. Yeah. Yeah.

But then you always just want to go back. Okay, yeah, maybe I do understand. Maybe I do understand addiction. You get a little urge. Yeah. So what have you been addicted to? What was the one thing that helped you get through? Maybe it was sniffing chocolate. Maybe it was replacing it

with something else. 0800 Dials. You can text as well. 9696 So apparently if you're trying to quit smoking, the trick is to sniff something pleasant. Chocolate, vanilla, whatever it may be for you. Sniff something pleasant and your cravings will fall by 23%.

Jet fuel. You know at the airport? You really like jet fuel. When you walk to the airport, I just like. And vivids. And the good thing about that is if you're smoking, but you can also smell jet fuel, it might be all over for you anyway. You'll solve your problem pretty quickly.

Yeah. So on the back of that, we want to know, if you've ever had to quit something and it's been tough, what was the one thing that helped you? Like, do you have a tip? Lisa, what was yours? You were doing something for how long? 25 years?

It was just about 30 years. Okay. I was biting my nails to the point that they would bleed. Oh. See, sometimes I'll have a little bite. I know that people find that disgusting. No, I've got a little gnaw. I have a little chew down,

but it's for practicality reasons. I don't often draw blood. So how did you... I was doing it quite regularly. And how did you stop in the end after 30 years? A friend put me onto those vinyl mail ramps, the Jamberry ones. Right. And I couldn't bike through them.

And because I couldn't bike through them, it stopped me from actually doing it. And then over time, I just got out of the habit of trying. Right. So there was no satisfaction because you couldn't bite through them? Yeah. Oh. So do you bite something else now?

Like, what do you do now? No, I don't. I just, I don't. And my boyfriend now complains that I'm stabbing him with my nails because I'm not used to them being so long. You're like, oh my God, thank you. I can't. I almost have to cut them. Brilliant.

Hey, thanks for your call, Lisa. Jess, what was your tip to quitting? So I used to have takeaways pretty much every single day and two energy drinks a day. So I basically was like enough's enough and I just stopped everything and switched to natural foods. And at first I had like really bad withdrawals from the caffeine, but I did it and there was no like secret.

I just did it. Is this a mythical willpower I've heard about? No, yeah, exactly. And, like, it's crazy because since then, that was in about August, I've lost 20 kgs just a little long. But what is the one thing, though? Because we've all been there. Like, I think all of us, especially here, like, you know,

we've all put on weight and lost weight. But then, like, what is that one thing that just makes you decide? Because, you know, you... Because you said enough is enough, but what was that enough moment? I think generally it was going to the mall and going into, like, you know, a clothing store and just not fitting the clothes that I wanted to fit anymore. And that was my tipping point.

I was like alright enough enough and I was always just so tired because you know having so much caffeine as soon as you don't have it, it absolutely destroys you. So a good tip would be to

go into a clothing store, try on some small clothes and be horrified. Look at me. Definitely. They can go two ways though. You can walk out of there straight down to the food court and get a large combo. Mel, what was your tip for doing something, for quitting?

So I quit smoking by learning how to complete a Rubik's Cube. Okay, so if you went on your coffee break, your smoko break, you would, instead of taking ciggies, you'd take the Rubik's Cube? Yeah. And my little YouTube video while I was learning to figure out how to do it.

And then once I knew how to do it, knew all the combinations, I'd just sit there and I'd do that for my smoko break. Wow. I understand that distracts your hands, but how do you beat the, like... Physical withdrawals. Physical withdrawals, yeah.

Well, your brain was so busy concentrating on what you had to do in order to complete the Rubik's Cube that you weren't thinking about how much you wanted to smoke. Yeah, the distraction, right? Keeping your brain occupied and distracted. What about in social events? Because that's where I know a lot of friends that have given up smoking trip over.

They have a few drinks and then they're talking and everyone's just like, ah, want a ciggy? Oh mate, I took my Rubik's Cube with me drinking. Do you? It was a great party trick. Well, I don't now because I don't need it now. Wow, good on you. The first few weeks, I pop my Rubik's Cube out first and people be smoking.

I'd be doing that and talking away. Do you reckon that would work after dinner though when you're on the couch and you decide, oh, I could do with some ice cream now? Rubik's Cube. Get out the Rubik's Cube? I'd just be like, this is too hard.

I'm going to get some ice cream. Now I'm frustrated. I need ice cream. Hey, Mel, thanks for your call. Some text messages. Somebody said energy drinks were my addiction.

The doctor, however, wouldn't give me the contraceptive pill due to high blood pressure that he said was related to how many energy drinks I was having. So I stopped that day. So I'm allowed the pill.

It was the fear of children. Fear of children. That'll do it. Fear of children. Somebody said when I quit smoking, it was Eclipse mints. Oh, yeah. Every time you felt like a ciggy,

you'd pop an Eclipse mint. Now I just get through like a case of Eclipse mints every few days, but better for you than smoking. Do they have a laxative effect? No, I remember that as well. Yeah. Pouring them all in your mouth is a joke.

And someone's like, you know, have you read that those can have a laxative effect? And you're like, tee hee. I quit smoking last year. Vaping was the answer. Now they said they started at 6 mil and they're down to 1.5. So is that the amount of nicotine? Nicotine-y additive.

Right. That you're doing. Somebody said hypnotism was the thing that worked. You hear about this? Yeah. Every time my parents and I thought of smoking, because we all did it together, you smell a sudden smell of rotting fish.

It was weird and gross. 12 years later, neither of them have smoked. And do they still smell fish if someone says smoking? Yeah, I guess so. If they think of it, they still smell a little bit. Imagine if the hypnotist made you cluck like a chicken every time you wanted a cigarette. Cigarette, yeah, but it's slightly more embarrassing.

But then imagine someone's like, do you want to smoke? You'd be like... And then you go back to the hypnotist and they've left the country. Damn it. Who's going to undo this? Sounds like a hilarious plot for a sitcom. Or one episode of a sitcom. Maybe one sort of a one episode.

That's what I mean, yeah, one episode. Hard to get 24, 20 minute episodes out of that one. What a great podcast so far, wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 1 broke its own records on HBO.

We knew this was going to happen, didn't we? Yeah. I mean, it was going to happen. So the one it beat was its own finale. So 16.9 million people watched the final of season seven. 17.4 million. Now this is just through HBO. So this is just in America.

Watched it online or on TV through HBO, 17.4 million. So beating it by half a million people, beating its own record by half a million people. Wow. And it was its biggest streaming night ever. And it didn't crash. That's the other thing they did. They must have, I mean, I don't know if you're going to stream something,

you're expecting like unprecedented traffic through your servers. I don't even know if there's servers involved. But the more people that are using it, the higher chance there is of crashing. But no, it didn't happen. I'm just trying to find some illegals. That's what I want to know. I want someone to combine the official HBO stats,

other worldwide viewing stats, and the illegal stats. Because surely, nothing is going to beat it. For pirating? Or just in general? Just anything. And the illegal stats, because surely, like, nothing is going to beat it. No. For pirating or just in general? Just anything. Just any sort of viewership statistics. So April 16, a huge spike in piracy.

Security researchers have warned, immediately after the episode went to air, the episode flooded various pirate sites with more than 120,000 people actively sharing one of the three most popular torrents. One piracy website operator said the premiere resulted in a 20% increase in traffic to the page. The desert torrents. Yeah.

Wow. Well, do they give you stats worldwide of legal and illegal viewership? They have had it before. I've definitely seen stats before. It might have been the finale of Game of Thrones last time. It takes maybe a little bit longer to get the statistics

of, and it's not every single torrent, it's just the big torrent websites that you can go on and literally see how many people have leaked it. Yeah, I mean we're certainly not encouraging that because it's illegal and you wouldn't download a handbag or a car. No. What can you download now?

If I could download a handbag, I would. You can download the 3D print plans for most things. Gums? Yeah, no, you can't download the 3D print gun. An Iron Man suit. Saw this thing last week. This guy, not like cosplay, but this guy made his 3D plans available for his jetpack thing.

And you can download it and print it out. I think the basic structure's there, but maybe BYO jets. I thought we were all meant to have 3D printers in our house by now, or is that a little bit off still? I've got one. Have you not got one? I don't have one. What do you print on your 3D printer?

Bird of dolls and stuff. Right. Anything you want, mate. If you've got plans for it, I can print it. Okay. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. As a dad that often does the driving on family road trips, this upsets me greatly to hear about this because when you're a dad

or you're just a driver, maybe you're the mum and the passengers in the car are distracted. Yep. Nothing is more fun than coming up to a hump in the road that you know is coming. But the passengers don't know it's coming. Yep. And then you go over the hump and they go, Everybody goes,

Even if they're expecting it. You don't get it so much when you're driving. I don't know why, but if you're another passenger in the car, you go, because you're holding onto the steering wheel. Yeah. I know where all of them are on the,

on the most driven tracks around. I remember as kids, and they're still there in Nelson somewhere. I think it was either on the way to like Wakefield, Brightwater from Richmond. There's like the back roads. Like Hope or something. Yeah, and there's some real up and downs.

You'd always be like, can we go the back way and go over the big hills? And then you go woo! And you go over the humps. Great stuff. Yeah, great stuff. Kiwi tradition. Well, you'll be most upset if you're a Canterbury listener or just South Island, upper South Island, because you know what I'm talking about here, Megan.

Every time you drive to Canterbury, this was on the route. It's farewell to the Hurunui humps. This is between Christchurch and Hamner Springs. State Highway 7 near Colverdon. It's near Colverdon, yeah's near Colverdon, yeah. The Colverdon humps. They were the humps and you go... And there's a few in a row.

You're like... So that is the 1,200 metres of highway, 1.2km, that is being repaired. Repaired? Yeah. They're taking the humps out. What's wrong with it? They're backfilling the humps.

Why? They think people don't like the humps. No, can we start a petition? Sadly, it's too late. Have they already started what, like digging them up? I don't know. Yeah, they've run a grade or three, I think. It's all metal at the moment.

It's coned on both sides. That's my childhood. Going over the humps. Even the photos here, you can see, you can see a good hump coming. Those are the really good ones. I've probably been over this road and at the time been like,

whoa, this is good stuff. But looking at it, No, you even know when they're coming up and you brace yourself. You can see, but you still get the stomach feeling. Oh, yeah.

Just that little bit of like, you kind of lift a little bit, don't you? I always think they should have put a speed camera there because everyone speeds up a little bit. To try to get the most out of the humps of light. You kind of lift a little bit, don't you? I always think they should have put a speed camera there because everyone speeds up a little bit. To try to get the most out of the humps. You're like, are we going to leave the ground?

Everybody knows a couple of purlers. Just off the top of my head, very niche, rural, why can't I reference the Walton Golf Course. There's a couple of purlers by the Walton Golf Course. The Walton Golf Course? Yeah, there's sheep on the golf course. It's one of those little rural New Zealand golf courses. Are they allowed on the sheep on the golf course Right, okay It's one of those little rural New Zealand golf courses

Are they allowed on the putting green? No, no, they're fenced off Oh, okay, right Are there sheep on that one? And on the way to my grandparents We'd always drive through there And it was always like You get a good lift on that one

Oh, that was good stuff And then further down the road There was another one at the crest of a hill Apart from the humps There was nothing wrong with the road, right? Apart from your car leaving the road and losing control of your vehicle, Megan, on a hunter-caser.

Oh, I knew that, man. Do you think someone complained? They're always on straights. Yeah, it's on a massive long straight. Yeah. So it gives you a little bit, your wheels are facing forward. Even if you did get off the ground a little bit.

You're still going the right way. It's not like you're turning. Yeah, right. It's a real, I tell you, it's a real shame. So how do you know this? Have people kicked up a fuss? Well, I saw it because somebody I know

who lives in Canterbury shared it to their family saying, oh, end of an era, like, really disappointed that this is happening. Yeah, those humps are beloved. And then I looked up the story and yeah, they are, they describe them as the beloved bumps. Oh, yeah. And people are like, yeah, apparently there's a bit of a social media retaliation against

it, saying, I can't believe what you're doing here. It is truly upsetting. What's the actual story? They're adding over 15 centimetres to the base of the highway to strengthen it, but part of it is also taking up the humps. Let's hope the humps that formed there were due to maybe some soft bit of ground or maybe a bit of a rock that didn't sink.

So it would be, let's hope the humps are back in no time. We can only hope. We can only hope. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A little bit of a recap. Yesterday on the show,

we told you that the importance of telling your kids the right words for things because my daughter's testicles are called nut balls. Now, I told my wife that. She was appalled that I blamed her for nut balls. It was actually her mother. That calls testicles nut balls. They're nanny.

The girl's nanny. The problem said nut balls and the girls are like, what are you talking about? And I said, well, you know how you call them nut balls? They've got a proper name. They're testicles. And then that was just the word that was said over and over and over again. Testicles. Testicles.

You all right? Yes. Testicles. Wow. It's important they learn the right words. It's important they learn the right words. And then you tell them, that sounded windy. We're at the beach.

I literally took them to the middle of nowhere to get the egg out of their system. Yeah. They can say testicles. there was nobody else around, and now they know that's what they're called. Anyway, on the way home from the beach, we went to the supermarket. Need to do a shop for the Smith household. Okay.

And Shade did the serious aspect of the shopping, and the girls and I just got sent on missions. You know, when you entertain your kids, we're like, go and find this answer. That's what my parents would do. And you'd run and find it and it'd take ages and less chance you'd ask for chocolate. That's what my wife does with me as well.

So I found what I had to find and then I found the girls right beside the yogurts. Okay. And they were there and Indy said, Mum, it was very confusing. I think Sade made it confusing so that it would take more of our time. She said, and he said, we're only allowed one flavour.

And I said, what do you mean? Like one six pack? And she's like, no, one flavour. We can get two packets, but they've got to be one flavour. I said, one flavour each or one flavour all up? Is there a flavour you won't eat? Are you allowed to get the packs? It's like some berries, some strawberries.

And she's like, I don't know, one flavour, but we can have two packs. I was like, this is very confusing. And August is like, can we have this one? And I said, no, that's chocolate dairy food. You can't have chocolate dairy food. And then there was the, well, why can't we have chocolate dairy food? I mean, it's still got scent for yoghurt. But it's still the same amount of sugar as the other berry stuff. Yeah, but it's not sugar.

You can't let them win all the time. Oh, and it's got to look healthy. It's got to look healthy. And it's got to have bits of strawberry. So she's like, well, why can't I them win all the time. Oh, and it's going to look healthy. It's going to look healthy. And it's going to have bits of strawberries. So she's like, well, why can't I have this one? I said, August, we are not getting chocolate dairy food. And that parental tone and pace, you know, when you got that,

you knew it was business. Dad tone, yeah. And I was like, we're trying to work out what we're having out of strawberries and berries. Okay. And she's like, and crossed her arms and stood there. And it was at this stage that a lady said, excuse me. And I was like, oh, hi. And she's like, and crossed her arms and stood there. And it was at this stage that a lady said, excuse me. And I was like, oh, hi. And she's like, I don't want to, I don't mean to interrupt.

I just had to come over and say, and she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at the two girls. She's like, you two girls put a smile on my face whenever I see your videos or whenever your dad talks about you. I have some bad days and your videos they always make me smile and I was like oh what do you say girls and they're like

oh thank you very much and I said oh that's very nice of you to say she's like I'll leave you to shopping but I just wanted to say it I was like that was so nice

like lucky she didn't hear me sternly telling these kids off five seconds ago with the no we're not getting it and I was like that was nice wasn't it and the girls were like

yeah that was really that was really nice dad that was like, that was nice, wasn't it? And the girls were like, yeah, that was really, that was really nice, Dad. That was so nice that she said that. And then August looked at me and she said, I'm going to ask her to buy us chocolate dairy food. I said, you are not asking that lady to buy you chocolate dairy food. And she turned around and started to walk towards the lady. I was like, August, Ava, Smith, stop. And she looked back at me to walk towards the lady. I was like, August Ava Smith, stop. And she looked back at me.

She took another step. She's like, am I allowed chocolate dairy food? I was like, no. She took two more steps. I was like, and you almost heard. And she's looking at me, and I'm looking at her, and Indy's like, we'll just get the strawberry. I was like, yes, let's get the strawberry.

Augusta's like, no. And I was like, don't ask that lady for chocolate dairy food. She's like, she'll buy it for me. I was like, you can't ask her for chocolate dairy food. And so August 1, we got some chocolate dairy food. And I can only imagine this morning when Sade opens the fridge to get them out of yogurt for their breakfast and she sees chocolate dairy food, she's going to be like,

I told your father not to buy you chocolate dairy food. Yeah. They won. You're in so much trouble if that's where her mind goes after someone gives her a compliment. She's like, that was so nice. Excuse me, would you like to buy me some chocolate dairy food? Remember moments ago when I said I made your day?

I'm pretty cute. I would have thought you got that for nothing. The very least you could do, buy me a six pack of chocolate dairy food. Because my dad's a monster and he won't. My dad won't buy me chocolate dairy food. You've seen the kids. She probably would have. Oh, I would have been horrified.

She would have. Absolutely horrified. Well, good luck. Yeah. Good luck for those teenagers. Just another time to remind her, I've really got to stomp it out of them now. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast, ZM.

So there's not going to be any spoilers in this chat, but we are about to talk about Game of Thrones. Now, I believe, Vaughan, there is a clip there of Kit Harington, this is no spoiler, talking about filming the latest season of Game of Thrones. I think what sums up the buck for me was there was a bit where Jon almost falls off the dragon, swings round really violently like this, and my right ball got trapped,

and I didn't have time to say stop, and I was being swung round in my head. I thought this is how it ends, on this buck swinging me round by my testicles, literally. So, wow. In the behind the scenes, it shows a video of him riding. It's like a bull. Green screen, like one of those things they have. Mechanical bull. Mechanical bull, but covered in green.

And so it's violently throwing him about, and apparently his testicle was stuck. You can kind of see it on his face, actually, when it shows the footage. You can see sheer pain and terror. There was a guy, this did the rounds last year, I think, or it might have been around for a while, but I saw it last year and it went viral, who bought the Ikea stool for his shower.

That's right. And it was like a stool. That's right. It had circles in it. It had a hole in the middle. It had many circles. Oh, many. And he sat down, presumably because he doesn't like standing in the shower,

sat down and his panty had low hangers and they went through. Because it's cold and warm, right? Changes. Well, I don't know. They could just slip through on an angle and then they go in and then they go that way. But I think his post was on their Facebook page and then someone screenshotted it and it went viral. So I don't know if he needed the fire brigade to come around and cut him out of the stall.

You'd be able to work them out. But that initial stand up of the, oh, Archer. I mean, yeah, I don't have them. But imagine getting them caught, especially and then being thrown about on a mechanical bull would be painful. Awfully painful. Even this morning, Megan, I shared with you upon arriving at work, I sat on mine a bit funny on the way to work this morning. First thing Vaughn says when he gets in, he's like, one of my balls is numb.

Yeah, I sat on it. It's come right now. It's good to know. But there was a time where it was numb. Okay. But off the back of Kit Harington getting his bits stuck in a mechanical ball, would like to know this morning when your bits got stuck somewhere.

Any bits. Doesn't have to be. You know, I've never done it. And you hear of people doing they get bits stuck when they're zipping up. And this is why you should always wear underwear. Why is that noise? The savage just, I'm just thinking this. Never done it though?

No. No, because'm just thinking this like. Never done it though? No. No, because I always wear underpants. I remember once when we were kids at the movies with somebody and I heard a scream from the bathroom and the kid had zipped it up. Oh, God. In the pants. Because what do you do it? You'd have to pull it apart.

I don't know. Well, if you've ever got like, if you've ever been zipping up something and you've run over a bit of material, it's so hard to get it back over. Or if you've ever zipped up your something and you've run over a bit of material, it's so hard to get it back over, isn't it? Or if you've ever zipped up your bag and you've run over a plastic bag, it really gets entwined in there, in that zipper. Yeah. Yeah.

But then you can rip a plastic bag, can't you? Yeah, but not skin. Not anything else. Okay, so on the back of that, have you ever got your bits stuck? Yeah. 0800-DARZATM9696. Is there a female equivalent? Yeah. Do, $800,000, $9,600, $9,600. Is there a, is there a female equivalent?

Yeah. Douchey, Megan. What? Are you talking about your bits? Yeah. Oh. Well, you could get like a, you could get a nip.

You could get a nip. Well, we've all got nips. Yeah, you could get a nip stuck. Or any bit on your body. Have you ever got it stuck? Exactly, yeah. Oh, I do. Bonus point, so, if it's Jenny's, you know,

because that's more funnier, isn't it? It's funnier. 0800-DARLES-NM-9696. Kit Harington has revealed during filming, in front of the green screen on like a mechanical bull, filming the dragon scenes, he got his testicle stuck In the mechanical bull And he thought

That was the end of it And got thrown around Quite a bit Yeah We want to know When you've got your bits stuck Wow Some of these are quite hard reading

Are we mostly hearing from guys? A few females Okay A few females Somebody said I'm a mum And I don't

This could happen to anybody, but they said they've got stretch marks on their stomach and they've zipped their stomach into their jeans before. And they would rate it as pain worse than the birth of their child. Because you can't, the zip goes up, it won't go back, you can't pull it out. They just said it was just, like, torturous. Juliet, when did you get your bits stuck? I was in a changing room in, I think it was Mount Manganui.

I was in my early 20s, and my boyfriend talked me into trying on a wetsuit, a bathing suit type thing, and I got my left nipple stuck in the zip. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's such a delicate wee piece of skin. It's a delicate nipple stuck in the zip. Oh my god. Oh my god. Such a delicate wee piece of skin. Is it delicate in the nips? Yeah, it was the whole thing though. I don't know how, but the whole thing got in there. Was it still, was it like

poking out of the zipper? Uh, gosh. I think there was, but yeah, like it's actually changed the shape of it now. I was gonna to say did it did it munt the nip yep and it did

it changed the shape of the nip much like a volcanic eruption will change the landscape yeah forever so did you have to buy that wetsuit I did

because I got blood on it so yeah oh my god and it didn't fit me that was the thing like it was yeah

but anyway wow that's sad what are you going to do yeah exactly Juliet thank you for sharing Dave And it didn't fit me. That was the thing. Like, yeah. But anyway. Wow. Oh, that's sad. What are you going to do? Yeah, exactly. Juliet, thank you for sharing. Dave, when did you get your bits stuck? Hey, guys.

A few years ago, I was going to be one of the groomsmen at a wedding, and we're trying on suits in there. And I was in the changing rooms, and I went to put on these pants. And as I pulled the zip up, I was trying to squish myself in there. And I soon realised after it started getting hot, I was like, oh, something's not right here. And I looked down and looked like a little mini kiwi fruit was hanging there. Oh, my Lord.

We really... Your body went into so much pain, it numbed the area with shock and you felt heat before you felt pain. Yeah, so I got into the pants sweet and I was like, oh, that's not right, it's getting hot real quick. So you kind of zipped up and left it like hanging out dave yeah well the sad part is i'm embarrassed but i had the missus's undies on normally wear boxes but i had her undies on so one of the boys was hanging out and i pulled it up

we are going to need an explanation here we're're going to know. What kind of undies? I was with him and now I think it's all too perfect. It's fibs. It was a G-string. It wasn't. It wasn't. He's full of shit. Naughty boy.

Naughty day. Telling fibbies. Hey, don't kink shame. Oh, no, I'm not. I'm not. But if you were wearing a G, you'd be a little bit more careful, wouldn't you? I mean, you don't want visible panty line in your suit. There is not enough in the front of one of my Gs

to get that in there. Hold the... Just not enough. Yeah. Somebody said ask Producer James where he got his bits stuck. Someone messaged him. Oh! James!

Producer James! Okay. You want a G on your face? I was just looking up that number in my contacts. Someone has absolutely sound you. Someone has. I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory, isn't it? No, it's not, James.

I mean, when we were in here discussing what we should talk about on the show this morning at 5.30, and we said this. You were back. You didn't say anything. You always keep things to yourself and it might just slip on by. No, no. I mean, feel free to share. You've got such a

deep voice though, so I assume it's not genital related. Well, it wasn't my balls, it was my foreskin. Oh my god! Oh my god, James! He went for it! He went for it! You just chummed in the deep end of the pool. So now you're uncircumcised? He went from elusive to very detailed. I love it. You just jumped in the deep end of the pool.

So now you're uncircumcised? No, it wasn't like a full, like, take the top off or anything. It wasn't a YKK circumcision? No, it was just a little neck, couple of stitches, and they were all right. Was it in a zip? Stitches. It was a zip, yeah. Right.

But was he to go to A&E? Yeah, yes. What was that moment like where they said, what's wrong? And you had to explain. Yeah, I had to be like, well, I was swimming, and the guy was like, well, you better jump up on the bed and we'll have a look. And then they had to stitch it up.

And they had to stitch it up. And you brought what, your friend? I brought my maid in yeah Oh yeah okay Is that who just Sold you? No that wasn't actually Somebody else

Someone else But yeah It happened Wow Has he got a scar? I'm all better now Yep Did you use bio oil?

Oh my god No On the scar? I didn't use bio oil Actually It's never too late Actually I haven't looked At the scar in I didn't use bio oil, actually. It's never too late. And Shane, I haven't looked at the scar in a while. I should probably have a quick look.

I don't know. See how it's doing. Isn't that neat? We're learning about the people we work with. Yeah, thank you for that, T. This might make you feel better, James. Someone said, I used to work with a British guy who used to party hard. One day he came into work and showed me a photo

which has scarred me for life. He passed out whilst drunk whilst also weeing. So he was on the floor with his tackle out and his zipper down. Somebody pushed it back in and zipped the zipper up real quick. However, he woke up and all that had happened was the bottom side of his entire penis had been woven into the zip. He woke up and all that had happened was the bottom side of his entire penis had been woven into the zip.

He woke up in immense pain and basically had to just pull the zip down to get it undone. He had no sick days left and he was on his final warning for coming to work in a bad state. So he had literally just wrapped a bandage around it and come into work. Oh my God, no way. Go to A&E. It was terrible. wrapped a bandage around it and come into work. Oh my God, no way. Go to A&E. Terrible.

I think your boss would forgive you if you showed them a picture. Then also, like, if the scar ran up the entire way, you'd hope it almost looked like a zip because it would be a good story. They're like, yes, this is my zip-open penis. Holy. Oh my God. Wow. But somebody said, you've talked a lot about genitals, but I think we're all forgetting when you've done your bike helmet up and clipped under your chin. Oh, my gosh. Wow. But somebody said, you've talked a lot about genitals, but I think we're all forgetting when you've done your bike helmet up

and clipped under your chin. Oh, yeah. That is, I've done that to both my kids on separate occasions. You immediately are like, you just feel so terrible. They look at you and they're like, ow. And then you've got to hold them still while you push it in and pull it apart. Ow. And then they've got a little blood bluster.

I know. Oh, yowza. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. I thought we'd do a fact about Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Yeah, Notre Dame. Notre Dame.

Notre Dame. God, I wish I'd taken a photo when I went so I could put it on Facebook. Don't be facetious. People just want to share their photos of Notre Dame. These two are like, all right, everyone's on a post and then when they've been to Notre Dame on Facebook today. Of course you would. Like 800 years old, that's quite amazing

and obviously quite like a famous building because of the hunchback and stuff and other reasons. But it blew my mind how upset people were. Well, it's like iconic. Yeah, but it's like a building, mate. It can be rebuilt, can't it? Yeah, but it's not original. It's not OG.

There's people around that'll make it. Have you ever watched Restoration Man? Yeah, that's true. He can make anything look good. It's like a building, mate. It can be rebuilt, can't it? Yeah, but it's not original. It's not OG. Ah, there's people around that'll make it. Have you ever watched Restoration, man? Yeah, that's true. He can make anything. It's a landmark. What if the Eiffel Tower burnt down? Or would it, mate? It's built of metal.

Yeah, okay. Well, bad example. Shut your face. Well, actually, that would be a bloody tragedy because there's a fire hot enough to melt metal. Jet fuel won't melt steel beams. But that would be a bloody tragedy because there's a fire hot enough to melt metal. Jet fuel won't melt steel beams. But that would be something to watch. But they've raised something like 700 million euro overnight.

Like some rich guy was like, I'll give you 100 mil. He's like, where's this 100 mil been before? When everything's falling to bits and people are starving and things are falling down and libraries are closing down and he's just sitting on a billion dollars. He's like, yeah, I'll give you. I've got a couple of hundred million for you. It's like, oh, okay.

Yeah, but it's his money. He can choose to do what he will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it is his money. If he can sit idly by and watch people suffer while he's sitting on the big pile of money, good on him. Okay. Just because he wants to see some 800-year-old church rebuilt. Ah, but they're saying they're going to rebuild it,

the Notre Dame. But today's fact of the day is that it took 87 years to build the Notre Dame Cathedral. Notre Dame. They didn't have sizzle lifts back then, though. But they're not starting from scratch, right? Nah, because all the foundations are brick, isn't it? It will take way longer. Oh, no, it probably won't take way longer.

It'll be way more expensive to rebuild it than it was to originally build it, though, right? I'd say so. So the bells are quite a famous part of the cathedral. And you might not know that the original bells were melted down to be used for artillery. They melted them down and they made cannons out of them. Really? Yep, some of the biggest and oldest bells in the cathedral were melted down.

After that war, that particular, the French Revolution, was over, they recast the bells. Right. And another thing you might know, Napoleon actually saved it. Napoleon. Dynamite. Yep, Napoleon Dynamite. The movie made so much money that they

saved it. Yeah, right, okay. And that's why there's a llama in there, Tina, eat your damn ham. No, Napoleon Dynamite, he wanted to have his coronation there when he became the Emperor of France. And he's like, I want it at Notre Dame. And they're like, eee, it's full of bits. He's like, well, get it restored.

I want it done. So then it got restored at that stage so he could have his thing there because it was so famous at the time it kept on from there. But that's why people are so upset for him because it's got all that history to it. Yeah. Yeah. But it's because it burns down.

It doesn't mean history didn't happen. Yeah, true. Yeah, but it's our connection, our physical connection to the history. Weird that God would burn it down. Oh, wow. That's quite a weird one to me. Sometimes. Why do you do that?

It's just a test sometimes. Oh. So you never take something you've got that's going all right and you sabotage it? You're just like, you know? Like when you pick an argument with your partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much do you love me? This week's going great. Let's test it.

Everything's been going too good. It's time to pick an old scab. Right. And start a fight. I'd imagine that's just what it's like. He's just like, should I burn that down? What's a gods up their board? Let's see.

Now he's like, let's see if they'll rebuild it if they love me that much. Burn it down. It's like when your kids make you a card and you're like, oh, I lost that card. I'll need another one. Oh, but I'm doing something else now. What? Don't love your dad enough to build and make him another card.

Fine. I see how it is. But today's base fact of the day for all this chit chat about the cathedral that is Notre Dame, is that it took 87 years to originally build. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. List of the luckiest lotto stores in New Zealand has been revealed. No telling on how many have been sold online. Because I'm not a huge lotto ticket, Powerball buyer. But if I do, I've got the app. I might buy one if it gets to like 20, 30 million.

When it gets all the hype and everyone's talking about it, I might buy a ticket. But normally I never win, so I'm always get real. This is why I can't have a gambling problem. I lose 20 bucks in the pokies, I'm like, and that's me for another two years. I like to spend on tangible

goods. I mean like a... Lollies. And clothes and shoes. Makeup. Yeah. Sure. Because then I can see the money going somewhere. Right, well there's no telling on how many have been sold online, how many winning tickets online, but the luckiest lotto stores have been revealed. How many have you got?

I've got the top five. There's a couple of ties, though. Can I have a guess before we go in? Sure. There's one in Hastings that always does pretty well for itself. Correct. There's one in Richmond and Nelson. Correct. There's one in Richmond and Nelson. Correct.

There's a small South Island town that bats pretty high. Incorrect. Oh, no. I was thinking you dipped into your Milton or something way down there. No. No. I think they've had like the odd win in the past, but not like. Is there a West Auckland store?

No. Hamilton? No. No. Hamilton. No. No. So, in at five and tying, Gret and Lotto and Tauranga and Mall Books and Lotto and Wellington both had 27 wins. They've had 27 in Lotto's history. I would also like to know percentage-wise

of how many tickets they sell. Because Tauranga is where you've just said Gret and more old people. They love it. They love a lot of it. They love it. They love spending their KiwiSaver on Lotto. They do.

Tied in at fourth place, Coastlands Lotto in Paraparaumu and Hornby Mall Lotto in Christchurch. They've both had 37 big wins. Now, this counts First Division Powerball Strike and Big Wednesday wins. Pack and Save Ricketing, Christchurch, 32 wins. Yeah, that's how they're at Pack and Save. That's third place

Second Richmond Night and Day Yeah 34 winning tickets They love to tell you About that And Nelson And that leaves

They do Do they have a permanent Sign on the window I think so They just update it As it happens One of New Zealand's Luckiest lotto shop

Yeah Because I think for a while It was the luckiest Wasn't it Yeah Well they've got Quite a way to go Because they've sold 34 winning tickets.

Yeah. Ahead in 47. With 47 winning tickets. Unicam, Stortford Lodge, Pharmacy and Hastings. 47. Do pharmacies do lotto? Yep. Some do.

Yeah, go in and get your antibiotics. Yep. Some Lamisil. And a Powerball. I don't know if you're using the antibiotics for your Lamisil. I don't know. Is that related or have you been down a double blow? Of a bacterial infection and athlete's foot.

That seems unfair. Fungal and bacterial. All you need now is the viral and you've got the trifecta of infections. It must be hard being a pharmacist just not questioning. I know. I was thinking that when I was in the pharmacy the other day. This is a cocktail. Because your brother's a pharmacist, just not questioning, being like. I know. I was thinking that when I was in the pharmacy the other day. This is a cocktail. Because your brother's a pharmacist, eh?

He said he can work out most of the time. If it's a combination, if it's like two things and one person's there, you can kind of narrow it down to what they've got. But he'd have all the goss, tell me. On a small town. Yeah. Yeah. You'd love that.

Most people, I would, but most people apparently are old people who have like a, they just come in every month and they get their heart pills. Right. Or, you know, they've got like a set, they've got one of those

plastic things at home with the day of the week on it. Yeah. That's my dad. He's got like 10 different pills to take. I just get excited when there's like someone

a bit younger coming in with a prescription. You're like, what have we got here? New in town. Oh, chlamydia. Trave in with a prescription, you're like, what have we got here? New Intel. Oh, Chlamydia. Travelling with the clap, are we? Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Just telling Megan how to run her cafe. I love it. Thanks. You know, having never worked or ran, managed or owned a cafe, we found ourselves somewhat more qualified to tell her how to run the place. Oh, my God, everyone does. I was just saying, Megan, that if I come to your cafe

and there's a delicious slice and it's not there the next time I go, I'm going to be upset. But then won't you have to keep coming back and being like, is it there today? No, how many times have you come back? I'll give you a couple more times. But then I'm happy that it's not always there, but as long as there's

something else as good as in its place. Right. Because the cafe by my place that does the best coffee by my house, I'll go there

and the other day I ordered a mocha and they said, and a ginger crunch slice and I said, yep. They knew. They knew.

They knew because I always get the ginger and it's real. If they stopped that, I wouldn't go there. You were right? You know, it's fine. It's real good. Because at work, when you're like, oh, I'm tired the ginger and it's real. If they stopped that, I wouldn't go there. Were you all right? You know, I was fine. Are you?

Because at work, when you're like, oh, I'm tired. There's a mocha. Oh, you know, it's only if you're having a bad day, you just go and get a mocha. That's why I asked if you were all right. I'm fine. Am I all right now? I'm questioning myself.

Did you get a mocha and a ginger slice? Was this on the weekend or was this like a post-lunch coffee? It was a weekend. Oh, okay. They're not quite as bad. Calories don't count. No, they don't. No, okay.

What were we going to talk about? Well, actually, I was going to talk about stealing things from hotels because you probably... We should start by saying you shouldn't. Well, no. This is a grey area because I think you're supposed to take the shampoo and stuff. The kettle. The couch. No, you don't take the kettle because people boil their undies in them. Yeah, yuck. Never use

a kettle at a hotel. There's little shampoo bottles and little soaps and things. You take them, don't you? Sometimes, because like if people come to my house and use the shower, I don't have shampoo. Because I don't have hair. And they're like, do you have shampoo? And I'm like, oh, no.

No, I bought a couple of big bottles for my shower. Don't say at someone's house and expect to shampoo your hair. Are these long stay or short stay? How dirty are you making them? I'm talking about with family and friends.

Okay, stay in the spare room. Now I know it's a lie because you very reluctantly let your family stay. Because who doesn't overnighter and expects to like wash their hair? I'd be like, get out of here. I just don't have shampoo. So I always get, but I used to steal them from hotels. Right. Yeah.

He's trying to swiftly move this along. Yeah. So you're not going to be able to do that anymore is my point. In California at least because they are looking at getting rid of the mini toiletries. Because it's bad for the environment? Yeah. So many little plastic bottles. We've done plastic bags.

That's the next thing to go. Easily. You don't really think about it until if you've ever walked past the trolley in the hallway at hotels when you see the boxes and piles of those little bottles and you're like, actually, yeah, they would add up to a lot. And that's one day on one floor. Yeah, and even just individual soaps. Like you think sometimes they'll replace that after one day

and you're like, well, I was using that. And there's charities that take those soaps and like melt them down and obviously... Take the pubes out. Take the pubes out, they don't pass through the strain. Yeah. And remake them into soaps and sell them to third world countries. Not sell them, give them to third world countries.

Right. Because I always like it when hotels do the big bottle on the wall and you just squeeze it out. As long as it's nice and it's not like, this is for your body, hair and conditioner all in one. Yeah. Well, yeah, because it's like at the gym, you've got the big receptacles and it's pink and it comes out

and you can feel it burning a hole in your skin because I've got sensitive skin. So I don't like using that. I always take my own soap to hotels when I travel. But they can still be nice ones. Just put it in a receptacle up on the wall so you're not going through bottles. They just use big refill-y things. Yeah, they've got them in those smaller pump bottles, but they just refill them every day from a large container.

Put a chain on it or put it to the wall. Yeah. Because people will nick those. Yeah. You know they will. Yeah, easily. So, yeah, that's in California. We should just aim to get rid of one unnecessary plastic thing a year.

I mean, it's too late. Straws? We've done straws. We've done straws. But they're not illegal. Yeah, true. Plastic straws. Well, we've done plastic bags.

So what's next? Well, these little bottles, that could be this year. Okay. Next year, road codes. $10 white plastic chairs from the warehouse. They're a bit further down the track for me. You still need them. I'm still good. I feel like they should be able to be recycled into a plastic chair again.

Right. You take all the ones that the leg broke off and you melt it down and you make some more. Yeah, right.