ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 18 2018

Episode Date: April 17, 2018

A guy in Hamilton failed his license because his fuel light came on, This Can't Leave The Room and contraception - who should pay?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Capture life like never before with the Samsung Galaxy S9. I told you you should have done it, Megan. No, I tell you, that was great. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thank you, Anya. The ethical clothing brands. Yes.

You get, what, just like any scoring goes from an A plus down to an F? Yeah, I believe so. How do you get an F if you've got a clothing brand? If you withhold information, I think, or if you don't say about how things are produced. I think that's very... Or if the children making them in the factory are sewing help me notes into their head.

Right, okay. I just think my pants dropped a little bit. They opened the same as notes fall out. Help. Let me out. Yeah, you know. That's really bad. An F.

But do you care, Megan, when you buy clothes? Well, I don't. I don't buy Trillies Cooper because it's very expensive. I'm not talking about her. I'm just talking in general. Do you care? Is there something you consider when you buy clothes? Or maybe should consider more? What about you, Anya, with all your ASOP

packages? I think if I was gonna spend, like, on high-end items, I think I'd want them to be pretty ethically produced. You say this. But I'm pretty cheap, yeah. Like, in general, I'm cheap as boo. It's kind of something you don't even really know how to look into.

Because, yeah, Emma Watson goes on about how, like, she always wears stuff that's ethically produced and recycled and all that. And I'm like, well, how do we do that, though? Can't go to Glassons and get it. Yeah, it's a bit hard, isn't it? Yeah. But it's definitely something we need to look into. It's like, you know, you can buy eggs.

Some brands of eggs have a little marker on the individual egg. A little print on it says what farm it comes from in a code so you can look it up and see where it came from. That's good. It's pretty cool. Who's writing the code on each of these eggs? It's not handwritten. I imagine it goes through a machine at point of processing

and I got one that said like Waiuku on it or something and a code number and you can look it up and it shows you the farm one that said like Waiuku on it or something and a code number and you can look it up and it shows you the farm and what day it came from the farm and stuff. I would love to tell you what brand of egg this is

but I cannae remember. Does it give you chicken number 234 and then it has a live webcam on your chicken? Yep, and you can log in and Beatrice the chicken's

got a cam on her back and see what she's up to. Like a GoPro? Brilliant. So you can tell she's free range. Yeah. But within Wi-Fi connection. Giant router in the middle that dispenses brains and such.

All right. Are the top sixes coming up before seven this morning? Yeah. Robot bees, baby. They could be going to Mars to explore. I say robot bees, they say robotic bees because it's the easiest thing for us to compare it to. But it's going to be a little flying swarm of miniature robots.

Isn't that a black mirror? Robot bees? 100%. It actually was a black mirror in the latest series. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one headline

out of the three. Headline one, discarded Easter pets multiplying problem. Headline two, painkillers made me gay. And headline three, argument between two golfers leaves a hole in one. I know the third one.

There was a stabbing, wasn't there? Yeah. Was it in Australia? Yes. Oh, wow. Yeah, a friend in Melbourne shared the story

of two men getting into an altercation on a golf course and one ending up getting stabbed. I don't know who has a knife on a golf course. Does it say stabbed

with a knife or stabbed with a broken off golf club? Oh, yeah, she could have broken off the golf club. Yeah, that's true. Good call. Oh, wow. That would be a jagged break. Yeah.

Are they alive? Yes. Okay, that's good. What was story one? Because I think I might have heard it. Discarded Easter pets multiplying problem. No, I just figured that was rabbit related. It is rabbit related.

So we need story number two. Painkillers made me gay. Painkillers made me gay. Or just made it less painful. Now, a 23-year-old man has told the Daily Mirror, which is a tabloid paper in the UK.

It's a good one. It's good for a laugh. It's good, yeah. He's told the paper that painkillers changed his sexual orientation and that he now identifies as a gay man. Scott Purdy enjoyed dating women before he started taking the painkiller Pregabalin, also known as Larissa. Like Lycra, but an I in between it. Okay.

Anyway, so he was taking this. Apparently it's used to treat epilepsy, pain associated with the brain, and generalized anxiety disorder. So he said that he noticed his libido for women had gone and that he was wanting male attention. He says, I turned around and I said, I did not find my, this is his girlfriend at the time, physically attractive anymore. Now, this was after taking the painkillers for two weeks.

Now, he'd been with her for six months and he says he'd never been interested in men, but when he was younger, he was a little bit curious. But that's all he explains about that. He says, it took me a while to realize that it was. I stopped taking it for a few weeks, and the desire for men just left. But I'm on it now again. I'm very happy.

I want to keep taking it because it makes me feel happy about my sexuality. It's made me feel very open. It's very liberating. Has it, the same blockers in the brain that would block the pain, because that's all essentially painkillers are, right? They block the receptors in the brain. Has it

tampered with his inhibition? Like if he said he was always curious about it and always wondered if he was, and this was just the little thing that said, hey mate, don't squash it down. Get out there and enjoy it. It's 2018 baby. Obviously he likes it

so he said he's taking it because it makes him feel better about the situation. Yeah. So he's always been gay, he's just not felt so great about it. But he said he never found them a trip. That's weird, though. But are we...

Is he just saying that? Well, they obviously just hadn't found the right one. Yeah. Because wouldn't he have been walking around just like, oh, that guy's hot? No, don't think about that. Probably. From the sounds of it.

Well, he said he was a little bit curious. But then he's got a girl... He had a girlfriend for six months but then he's got a girl, he had a girlfriend for six months. Is he from like a... My gay friends have had girlfriends and they're just

a little confused and they're like, this is just society's norm. This is kind of what I'm told to do if I'm unsure. This is the side of the coin I fall on.

What if he's from like a really staunch family and this was his excuse to be like... Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. How very interesting. Because when I, I think I saw that headline,

painkillers made me gay. Yeah. And I thought someone's just been caught with another dude. And they're like, oh, it's the criminals. That's just too much. Is that not you, Susan? Another conservative politician or minister. Yeah.

But actually hearing more about the story is that he's always kind of had it simmering away there, but it's just turned the element up to an eight. And now he's bubbling away. Hot on the boil, hot on the boil, and he's looking to overflow his pot. Right. And he's not worried about telling everyone about it.

Well, no, he's not. It just seems like, why would he have ever been? Yeah, because you guys Google when you get pills. Like, for my pinched nerve, I Googled all the stuff I was on. Yeah. Have you Googled that? To the side effects. Yeah.

You Google your medication, you're like, it turned this guy gay. It takes away your inhibitions. Yeah. You're like, okay then. Okay. Sign me up. I've always been a little prudish. FEM.

ZM. There has been one of the largest ever studies on drinking alcohol because we hear all the time, like, you should drink two drinks a day is okay for you. Or two wines, say, like, that's good. Red wine's okay for you. And it's always red wine, isn't it? Yeah.

Well, it's never your Chardonnay, is it? Well, no, wasn't there one recently that said two glasses of wine a day is actually good for you? Sometimes you just need to. Because I remember that. You need to get home and numb life, don't you? Just numb your day. Do you?

I don't know. I don't know. You don't even have kids. I don't drink during the week. You will have a little drink every now and again, won't you? A whiskey? Why every now and then if you mean every night? Yes.

Yeah, it has become part of my routine. I just have a drink in the evenings. Right. I'm much more of an occasional drinker now than a binge drinker. Like, just an occasional wine. Yeah, I know.

Even during the week. I don't even kind of remember when I had a good binge drink. Last. Yeah. I drink regularly. What is it? Often and a lot.

Right. Are we all just trying to justify what I'm about to... Yep. Yeah. So almost 600,000 people were surveyed from 19 countries. Okay. So it's a big study.

They have found that the level of which we should be drinking is actually probably lower than we've been told in the past. So the Ministry of Health in New Zealand, they recommend that men drink no more than three standard units a day and no more than 15 a week. Right. So maybe you'd just like bank up your 15 for a night. I was going to say, that's what people do.

They bank it up for the weekend, don't they? And then women are two a day and 10 a week. Right. There's definitely people. It's still a lot of alcohol, eh? When you think about it. Right. There's definitely people. It's still a lot of alcohol, eh? When you think about it. Yep. 10 a week?

If you were having two wines a day in the weekday and then if you had any in the weekend you're well over. Yep. So after all this data was done, they have found that the risk for alcohol is you should be drinking less than 100 grams a week, so that's 10 units for

anyone. So if you drink... Like, sitting at about 20 but you wanted to cut down, you just start drinking absinthe, do you? One absinthe a day, because it's... Is that a standard drink? Oh, I know, because the alcohol

content goes right up. Yeah. So the study says if you were aged 40 and you drank 10 to 20 standard drinks a week, that could knock off six months off your life. If you had up to 35 standard drinks a week, four to five years off your life. Oh, right.

I guess you'd have to be doing this week on, week off. I mean, like every week, you'd have to be doing this week on, week off. I mean, like every week you'd have to be doing that kind of level of alcohol. So if you had like a really bad week and then you had a week off, maybe only two and a half. I love playing averages. Yeah. I've been really, really bad. If I could just be really good next week,

the law of averages will have me back where I was. Isn't that why we all diet from like Monday to Thursday? Yeah, and then blow out the other three days. That's okay. Because you did the hard yards Monday to Thursday. Yeah, but then you undo it all. At least we deprived our body of all of that stuff for four days of the week and then overdid it for the other three. So it's really confused about what it should be doing.

And absolutely not consistent at all. Yeah, so if you've got a big weekend, bank up all your drinks for the weekend. That's how it works, right? Right, I think so, yeah. The Top 6 with Vaughan Smith. Today's Top 6 are

robot bees. Robot bees or things likened to robot bees. Tiny wee bee-sized drones could be used to map out and explore Mars. This is the plan for NASA. So if one falls, there's one to replace it, and they can work together as a swarm, mapping topographically sort of the highs and the lows, the dips, the troughs, the mountain ranges.

Do they have little astronaut outfits on? They're not bees. They don't need astronaut outfits. They're robots. That's like asking if the robot... I know, but they could do it for cuteness, Spectre. Megan's right. There should be robot uniforms.

There's very little room for cuteness when you're transporting technology millions of miles across the galaxy. But if they can make these, why aren't we using them here for things? So today's top six, the top six uses I would have for robot bees. Number six, doing actual bees work.

Because everyone's always saying, where are the bees? But is anybody asking, how are the bees? Because the bees are tired. Give them a nice holiday somewhere sunny with lots of flowers. And don't they always say, like, we need the bees. If the bees die, what, we've got four months or something? We're bougied. So just use the robot ones.

Yeah, well, can you use the robot ones when the numbers start going down. Can they do that though? Can they do the actual making the honey thing? Well, give them a shot. Okay. Give them a shot, they're robot bees. Number five on the list of my top six uses for robot bees, hunting down wasps. Imagine that, because wasps often prey on bees.

They're the bad ones. But they'll be biting off more than they can chew. It's pretty much like when the bad guys went up against Robocop or the Terminator. It looked a bit like a human, so they were expecting it to be, but it wasn't. It was a robot underneath. It was real tough, and they wasted them. So the robot bees could waste the wasps.

No use wasps. Do they actually have no use, apart from being jerks? Just nature's jerks. Those are the ones you have to squash, not the other ones. Don't squash the bees. No, squash the wasps. But careful what you squash them with. Not a barefoot.

It'll sting. No. Number four on the list of the top six uses for robot bees. Getting you things from the kitchen. In fact, getting you things from anywhere. Bees, I want some dumplings from China. Go. How are they going to carry that? They'll be cold. They'll be cold. Just get them from down the kitchen. In fact, getting you things from anywhere. Bees, I want some dumplings from China. Go. How are they going to carry that?

They'll be cold. So just get them from down the road. That'll be sweet. That'll be just as good. A whole lot of them could bring a container easily. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. They fly above it and they tie little bee strings to their legs and then to whatever's below it. And number three, if they're not bringing things to you, they take you to things.

Bees, apparently I have to things. Bees. Apparently, I have to go to work again today. So if you could transport me there, that would be great. And then they just buzz your beard. Pick up your beard and buzz it along. Number two on the list of the top six uses for robot bees. Building neat things. Because bees are insane builders.

You know how a honeycomb, how they're hexagonal? Yeah. That's so that they can fit more in. Why aren't they square? Because if you put squares, there's gaps in the corner of the square. Oh, yeah. But if they're hexagonal, they can pack it all full with honey. They're smart, aren't they?

And lay their little dudes in there. So very, very smart. Nature's architects. So you could be like, bees, build me a house. I mean, council paperwork would be a nightmare. Council would be like, are these bees registered master builders? They'd be like, well, they're a swarm of robot bees. I don't know what more you want from them.

Okay, I'm going to need to go and sit at my council desk and think about this for eight weeks, and I'll get back to you at some stage in the future. Number one on the list of the top six uses for robot bees, having them around mean you could always use bee puns because bee puns really sting. And they're really happy bees. You can tell because their

blood type is B positive. And if you could program the bees to swarm together, they could perform songs like Single Ladies by Beyonce. Oh my god. Unless some of them were clumsy, I guess you could call them fumble bees. Anyway, that's only if they don't go on strike

because I don't know if you would know this about bees, but they want to be paid more honey. A better flowerly rate, you might say. I like that one. Anyway, we could go on about these robot bees all day, but one thing I will tell you, they're being manufactured in Stingapore.

Go back to flowerly, right? Yeah, go to Flowerly. You should have finished on Flowerly, right? Yeah. Finish, you've

got nowhere to finish. Nowhere to finish. That's today's top six. Let me tell you a little story

about a bus line in Auckland City that last year made $1.2 million in fines. And this is one section of bus lane?

One tiny section of bus lane. I can sit there and let people drive all over me for $1.2 million. Good Lord. 8,462 infringement notices, totaling $150 each, because that's how much it costs. And they'd have to have that guy standing there with the camera. Yeah. And his little walkie-talkie.

I don't know why on these sorts of bus lines for that sort of dinero, you could have a full-time camera installed. Yeah. And wipe out the need for a little man with camera on tripod. I know, because I feel sorry for them. They always look so bored just standing there next to the tripod. Now, statistically, someone listening should have received one of these. Okay.

Fines, I'll tell you whereabouts it is. If you're in Auckland, if you've ever driven down Kibber Pass Road towards Newmarket, you're driving down there, you go past the BP on your right, and then you go through some lights. Yep. And then up there, there's a street called Kingdon Street on your left. Right. Now, until you get to Kingdon Street, two lanes.

Whoopsies. Oh, until you get to Kingdon Street. So there's two lanes. And then when you get to Kingdon, the lane that you were using on your left becomes a bus lane very sneakily. Oh, that's not fair. I don't think so either. You can park there, but when you can't park there, it's a bus lane. Are you kidding?

Now, bus lane is at both ends of the day, 7 till 9 in the morning, and 4 till 6 in the evening. Right. Monday to Friday. I did not know that was a bus lane. Yeah. So if nobody's parked there, it's a bus lane only. Right.

And it's got a little green thing at the start that says bus lane. Then there's a big break in the greenness. Oh, okay. Then the greenness kicks in again. Right. And that's where they're getting people. I can see the confusion of people. Should traffic be busy, you may miss the green.

Right. The green bit. So I wonder how many people have contested that. Not many. Because in this article where it says that there were $1.2 million in fines, they said that's the notices issued. So they might not have, not every single person would have paid. But yeah, 8,462 people were caught.

And that, as you said, is only the hours that that's being monitored. Yeah, and that's one spot. So imagine all the bus lanes. How much money they're raking in from those. And I just get sick of the bus lanes. They're just sitting there. They're wasted. Like if there's no bus, go in it.

While you're in your one car. Yeah. One person in one whole car. Pull off your mask. It's Mike Hosking in a Megan disguise. Oh, you're saying like if everyone did that. Yeah. To encourage people to take public transport. And that's when people are sitting there like,

it drives me nuts seeing buses get priority over me and my car. It's like, yes. What would you do about that? Would you take a bus? Absolutely not. I know. And then I see these buses zooming past and I was like, see, it's empty. Yeah, because.

I'm not in it. Yeah. But then it's an age old argument, isn't it? Chicken or the egg? Yeah. What came first, the bus lane or Megan and her chicken? Or the chicken driving a car. Yeah.

I mean, if chickens start driving cars, then we're in real trouble. Real trouble. I want to tell you our story about a young lad from Hamilton called Michael who was sitting his driver's license for the second time.

We don't know what happened for the first time round. Okay. Maybe insufficient stop at a stop sign. Yeah. Never roll through a stop sign. Never roll.

Always come to a complete stop. It's the only time you'll come to a complete stop at a stop sign is during your. Always come to a complete stop. It's the only time you'll come to a complete stop at a stop sign is during your driver's test. We all roll. Let's be honest, we're rollers. A slow roll. But then they also don't like you stopping at a

give way. And I thought better to err on the side of safety on a driving test, but they don't like you fully stopping at a give way if there's no reason to stop. Are you sure? Yeah. Oh, really? They're against it. They're against a full stop at a give way if there's no reason to stop. Are you sure? Yeah. Oh, really? They're against it. They're against a full stop at a give way if you're clear to go.

Okay, right. Anyway, Michael failed the second time round because in this 2004 Honda Odyssey, his family's 2004 Honda Odyssey, which replaced the high stance and boxy styling of the previous Odyssey to become a low, sleek, stylish vehicle with wind-chilling lines only to be slightly higher than some sedan models. Right, okay. Is that an important factor in the story? I looked up a picture of a Honda Odyssey.

Yeah. Because I was sure it was a people mover. It's a people mover, right? They confirmed it for me, but that was the AA review of the Honda Odyssey 2004. Right. You've heard it. Giant steps between the 2003 and the 2004. So a sensible car to be doing your test in. 2004. Right. You've heard it. Giant steps between the 2003 and the 2004.

So a sensible car to be doing your test in. Yeah. Okay. Well, I guess it'd be harder to plant the foot and get above the speed limit accidentally because that happens to some people. You know, they're concentrating everything else. Maybe their speed creeps up.

Yeah. And that'll have you failed. No, he failed because the fuel light came on. He was 20 minutes into the 45-minute test when the instructor said that you'd failed. You might as well take me back. You failed the fuel lights. Come on.

Get me back. That's not fair. I've never, ever heard of that being a thing. I know that if you break down on, for example, a motorway or the Harbour Bridge, you can be fined. If you run out of petrol. If you run out of petrol. If you run out of fuel. So, I mean, in terms of that, maybe...

If you run out of fuel, the fuel light came on. We all know fuel light comes on, man. In the next couple of days, you better look into it. Push it. Push it till it starts going... And you're certainly going to get 25 minutes more worth of driving. Easy. Well, that's what it says to pass the test.

You've got to have functioning indicators, brake lights,, that's what it says to pass the test. You've got to have functioning indicators, brake lights, a horn, and sufficient fuel to complete the test. Now, the sufficient is defined as enough to get to your testing location, complete the test, and then get you home. And Dad Jesse said,

I've driven that thing with far less gas in it for far more kilometres. Well, you can. You can drive for like hundreds of kilometres, can't you, with the fuel light on? Not hundreds. A hundred. Yeah. A hundred k can. You can drive for like hundreds of kilometres, can't you, with the fuel light on? Not hundreds. A hundred. Yeah.

A hundred k's. I'd never push it. And it would have to be one of those ones where if there was a downhill, you'd just knock it into neutral and let it. I do that all the time. You can't do that on a test. No.

No. But I mean, on the way home afterwards, knock yourself out. But yeah, apparently that was enough. That was it. Well, then how do they prove that that yourself out. But yeah, apparently that was enough. That was it. Well, then how do they prove that? The fuel light coming on doesn't prove that, does it? No, the fuel light coming on is just an indicator that you've not prepared substantially.

That's not his car though, is it? So that's mum and dad's fault. So apparently, you love to pass the buck, Megan. No, but I'm saying he wasn't in control of the fuel in the car, so it's not something he can control when he's doing his test. It's Mum and Dad's fault. Yeah, and let's be honest, it's Mum and Dad's car. You're a teenager.

You never put petrol in the car. No. If you can help it. Especially not Mum and Dad's car. Unless you've driven it way further than you told them you were going to, so you're just trying to cover your tracks. But then Mum's already read the speedo. If your brother is an arsehole,

like mine was, he was keeping a logbook of how many kilometres we're in the car. Are you kidding? This was before Google Maps too. So my brother would write down how many kilometres

we're in the car. For no reason. It wasn't his car. Yeah. And it wasn't his petrol in it. Yeah. And then when I'd get home, he'd write it down again,

work out the difference and be saying, so you told mum and dad you were going to Oh, what a jerk. summer hockey was a great example of it. Yeah.

And he's like, the way I go and get back is 80 kilometres. Now you've done 140, even if you took the long way significantly more and he'd present this to his, my parents like he was

some sort of lawyer. Like, with nothing to gain out of it. Right. Did he want more fuel money or something? Huh. I don't know. Right. Did he want more fuel money or something? Huh. I don't know.

So on the back of this fuel light coming on and this guy failing his test in Hamilton, we'd like to ask you this morning, what made you fail your test? And maybe it was your fault. Or maybe it was something as crazy as this. Because what was the reason you failed the first time? I couldn't do hill starts.

He gave me like three or four shots. But you know they're going to teach hill starts. They're going to test hill starts. Why didn't you practice? I did practice. Oh. I'm just not very good at it. It's Nelson though.

There's lots of flat bits and a few hills. Quite steep hills. If you're on a hill too, you just roll backwards until you find a driveway to whip your tail into. And then you're going forwards. Yeah, I see to them. I just won't do them. I'll find a way out of it. I'll avoid parking on hills, mate.

Yeah. I'm not going to stop there. Play to your strengths. I'll parallel park until the cows come home, but I'm not stopping on a hill. Yellow light on a hill, I'll go faster. There was a scary part in New Plymouth. You just get to the top of this hill and there's traffic lights. Oh, yeah.

And so you'd always just be like, please be green, be green, be green. And luckily it was, it was green. Otherwise, like, you have to do a hill start when they're not even testing you on a hill start. Would you, if you were coming towards the lights and they were red, would you slow down to sort of, so you could just keep rolling to try to make them go green? I don't know, but I never had to.

Luckily, it had just gone green and I was like, yes. I think the people that live by those traffic lights are stoked every time they hear I had a friend and they were told by the tester to turn left down a street.

This is on there doing their test with the official AA or whoever takes them out. They said turn left down the street up here and it was a one way and it was a trick. Oh, that's not fair. And they failed them. That's entrapment.

Unbelievable. That's entrapment. You told me to turn down there. You told me to turn down that street. Yeah, but if I told you to jump off a cliff, would you? Well, if I was part of the AA driving team. Probably. Weird, okay, but I'll drive my Honda Odyssey off the cliff.

Sure. So why did you fail your driver's test? Oh, 800-Diles.com. You can text 9696. Sure. So why did you fail your driver's test? 0800-DARLS. You can text 9696. We're talking about why you failed your driving test. The crazy reasons, the little reasons. Well, reasons that you probably deemed crazy because you were just denied the freedom to explore the open road.

Yeah, yeah. Because a Hamilton teenager failed because of his fuel light coming on. 20 minutes into a 45-minute driving test. But it says you should have sufficient fuel to complete the test, which none of us knew existed. Somebody said, Fletch, the traffic lights you described in New Plymouth stopped you at the top of the hill.

Absolute horror. On the one way by Lyddiart Street? Yes. Lyddiart. Sure. Lyddiart. Everybody in New Plymouth knew. It was like when you're in Nelson and you just got your licence,

like I had in Nelson when I moved there after New Plymouth. Was it the KFC had a little hill start in the drive-through? Oh, my God, the worst. Absolute nightmare. Although you're not going through the KFC drive-through doing your test. That's bad. Oh, and I was going to say that's just bad for KFC, though,

because you don't want people looking foolish when picking up their quarter pack, do you? No. So you just go to the other KFC. Yeah, for sure. Some other messages. I took my dad's ute to sit my driving test. What dad hadn't told me is it disconnected the speedo to keep his miles down. Oh, no.

So for a while I was just blindly driving, hoping I was going the speed limit, and then the driving instructor looked over and said, why isn't your speed... Oh, I've seen what your dad's done here. You better take me back to the station, fail, and tell your dad to reconnect that because that's illegal. Could you have just glued the speedo at 50? No, because if you went through a 30 kilometre temporary...

Oh, yeah. Because that's how somebody else did. They were driving, there was a sign saying temporary 30 kilometers and a 50-kilometer zone. And the driving instructor said, I'll just go 50 anyway. And they were like, okay. So they went 50 and he's like,

never listen to your passengers. Failed. Take me back. No! You can't do that. That is so shit. That's outrageous, eh? That is something I would say at 4.30 on a Friday afternoon

when I wanted to go home early. Yeah, I'd take me back. Take me back and can you stop by the bottle store on the right now? Daddy needs a drink. Somebody said, I failed my restrictor because my family's car made an unsettling whistling noise. That's not a reason to fail. That can't be a reason, can it? Unless it's like...

An unsettling... If it's coming... That's initially when I read it, I thought maybe it sounds like unsettling. If it's coming. That's initially when I read it, I thought maybe it sounds like a window's down a little bit, but what if it's one of those belts? Can belt. You know when your belts are a little bit slippy lippy, they go... Really weird. Yeah. Maybe it could have been that. Okay.

Jalyn, why did you fail a test? I failed it because I drove over the paint. The white line failed it because I drove over the paint. The white line? Yeah, I drove over the white line, and I was supposed to go around it, but it was just such a big curve that I just couldn't be bothered. I was like, no.

I know, shortcut. You crossed the centre line. No, no, no, not the centre line. So it was like around a corner, and there was white paint on it, so it was quite big, like, I don't know, metres of paint. So it was like around a corner. And there was white paint on it, so it was quite big. Like, I don't know, metres of paint. So it was like the side line? Yeah.

Right. Okay, so you kind of just took a shortcut. Yeah. Right, yeah. Those are the kind of things we do when we've got our licence, Jalen. You know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. And so the next time you stayed within the lines? Yes. Okay, good. And so the next time you stayed within the lines? Yes.

Okay, good. And I passed. And you passed. Well done. Well done. Congratulations. Hey, thanks for your call, Jalen. Tara, why did you fail your driving test?

So I had a 95 Toyota Corona, and my ex-boyfriend had previously crashed it, and he split it five days into a horse float and broke the spoiler. So when the driving instructor walked up, I had no high stoplight. So it was an instant fail. Oh, so you didn't even get to take him out. He was just like, what's this piece of shit?

Yeah, so they're like, yeah, what year is your car? And I'm like, in 95. He's like, oh, it's after 1990. You have to have a high stoplight. And I was like, okay, cool. So there's a tip for anyone without a high stoplight and a 95 Corona. Lie and say it's an 89 Corona. Exactly.

Is it a Corona or a Corolla? There's both. There's both. Is there? Is there a Corona? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

I had no idea. I just thought you were calling it the beer. No. Also, don't drink Coronas in your Corona. That will fail you. Hey, thanks for your call, Tara. Thanks. Janie, Janie drives in Bus Laney.

Why did you fail your driving test? So basically, I asked the instructor what speed limit it was, and he told me that it was 60, and then I went 60, and it was apparently 50. And he was like, you should have known this. Why are they all tricksy little hobbits? Like, what are they trying to do? I'm pretty sure

it was a trick question. We're hearing from so many people that have been tricked by driving instructors and to me that feels pretty shitty because like most of the people doing this would be young people they're nervous as it is. They're technically your superior so you're going to listen to what they're saying. Yeah, exactly.

I didn't know they were allowed to do that. I thought they had to tell you what the ceiling was. Jane, somebody texted me and said they were approaching a school during their driving test, and they knew that during the active times, you had to slow right down past schools. So they said to the driving instructor, do you have the time? And he said no, so they pulled out their phone to check the time. Oh, no. And failed because they pulled out their phone to check the time. Oh, no. And failed because they pulled out their phone.

You're like, what? I wasn't going to text anyone. And that's why it's important to always have your clock and your car on the right time. I know, but then you've got, like, how many, when does daylight savings next kick in? That's when the clock will be right next time. And you just forget.

It's only six months, but you completely forget how to change it every six months, don't you? Matt, why did you fail your fall? I went to go do it a few years back in my mum's car and got there and her taillights were out.

Yeah. The guy told me to shoot down and fix it so I did that. By the time I got there I was one minute past my start time and he failed me.

Oh. They're a-holes, aren't they? What's one minute? I was like, this guy sounds like a good dude being like go and get that fixed and whip back but then it's like no one minute passed thanks matt they'd see some they'd see some stuff because while we're hearing stories about people failing driver's licenses for small silly reasons uh i want to hear about those big crazy reasons

from actual driving instructors that put them in these bad moods where they just want to fail everybody. Yeah, right. Somebody said, I got my car stuck in the mud in a car park in front of the place that was testing me, so I couldn't... Actually get out of the mud. Oh, no. I got failed because I drove through some mud. I got four points taken off for having a slightly greasy appearance to the window.

Okay. Yeah. Like a slightly greasy appearance to the window. Okay. Yeah. Like a film. Like a greasy film. I don't know. Yeah. Weird. I failed because when I was stopped, a cyclist hit my wing mirror.

And so I was judged to be too close to the curb. And I said, should the cyclist have been on the curb, that's illegal. Yeah. And he looked baffled. That's a good call though because it's illegal to cycle on the footpath, isn's illegal. Yeah. And he looked baffled. That's a good call though because it's illegal to cycle on the footpath, isn't it?

Yeah. And also, he hit you. Yeah. I didn't hit him. Interesting. Hmm. Okay.

Many reasons, many reasons to fail. I think if we've learned anything from this, don't listen to them. Don't trust them. At all. At all.

When they're like, take me back. Okay, that's great. You've passed. Take me't listen to them. Don't trust them. At all. When they're like, take me back. Okay, that's great. You've passed. Take me back to the station. That's a trick. Keep driving. A Newcastle cafe, this is Newcastle, Australia, has made headlines because they currently

have something on the menu for $7, $7 Australian dollars. Okay. And it's what has been described as gourmet Vegemite toast. Now, all this has is two slices of bread and just white looking bread, by the way. Okay. Maybe. Is it a sourdough? Maybe a sourdough at a stretch.

It doesn't look particularly sourdough-ish. Okay. It looks fairly standard. Is it more squarish? It's not a ciabatta. Okay. Right. It's not a particularly, thereough-ish. It looks fairly standard. Is it more squarish? It's not a ciabatta. Okay. Right. It's not a particularly...

There are no seeds to be seen. Okay. No seeds or grains. And if I'm paying a little bit more for toast, I need it to look like... I want grains. I want grains. I want heaps of grains.

I want visible seeds. I want it so dense. You believe some African nations could use this as a building... A brick. A brick. Yeah. Like a building. A brick. A brick. Yeah. Like a building material. Yeah.

You go there and the birds are pecking at it and they're like, I don't know what we're doing wrong. Yeah. That would make great toast. Like I want it thick and I want it dense and I want it heavy. Well, this just looks like white bread. Okay. And then smeared beside it and what I can only describe as something I came across as

a new parent. Right. When your child is left with a poop in their pants and they get their hands into it. Right. Next to these two slices of fairly average looking bread is a smear of Vegemite. Is it like a chef's smear? A chef's smear. Is this on a plate?

No, it's on a wooden chopping board. So it's meant to look all hipster and... Oh, it looks totally hipster. And then a curl of butter, like they got a butter and then they got it out with an ice cream scoop. Right. Like a roll of butter. And then what looks to be,

and I will be happily corrected if I'm wrong, beetroot greens. So like a leaf off a beetroot. Right. So it's Vegemite on toast for $7. Correct. But it's meant to look all flash. Yes.

Cafe kind of style. So literally your $7 is paying for two bits of white toast High ridge of the chopping board that it's served on And a beetroot One tiny beetroot Probably the 20 minutes it's going to take someone to scrub that marmite off that chopping board Because it's smeared in You've got to get your knife

You've got to like scrape it off with your knife Is it enough Vegemite For the two bits of toast? Very sufficient Because you know You don't need a lot of Vegemite Well I'm a Marmiter Either way It's lots of butter

And just a little bit of Marmite Correct The butter is the true star Of the show Yep Like fruit toast Lots of it Lots of butter

The butter On any bread Butter's your major Your major player And then it's whoever Is the supporting actor How much if you went to a cafe, would it be for toast with a spread?

Who's even serving that? Like, why would you go to a cafe for, like, toast? Well, you can get toast and preserves, and you'd, what, is that like $9, $8? You get toast and then, like, jams, but you get, like, a selection of jams. All you're getting is toast. You just get the, yeah, order it off the kids' menu

because parents take kids to cafes, and it's no point buying them anything much because it's guaranteed they won't eat it. Right. If you're paying for it, they'll be like, oh yeah, I want bacon and eggs. This has happened multiple times.

The bacon and eggs arrived. I just wanted this part of it. Oh God, well that's okay because I'm going to eat that bacon. But, yeah, they won't eat much. If you're just getting toast, you don't just order it off the kids' menu because it. Oh, God. Well, that's okay because I'm going to eat that bacon. But, yeah, they won't eat much. If you're just getting toast, just order it off the kids' menu because it's the same toast.

Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. There is a story that's come out of the UK about a girlfriend. Her name is Jordan. She's 22.

Now, she's been convicted. She is the first case of domestic abuse of a female on a guy in the UK. It's crazy because it does happen, eh? But I read a report about how reluctant guys are to report it because it takes away their masculinity if a woman has been physically or mentally abusive to them. Yeah, but it does happen a lot.

And guys don't want to be the guy that's like, she hit me. Because there's this stigma attached. No, it's not. Anyone can hit someone. 100%. But guys don't want to be the guy that says, that's the bloody pussy that let a woman hit him. That's the stigma attached to it. But I mean, heck, it goes both

ways. Sure, far more male on female, but female on male does happen. And if it is happening, then you've got to report it. Now, hitting someone's awful, but this goes beyond that. Now, just a little bit of a background on her. She's a university graduate. Yeah. She has an honours degree in fine arts.

She grew up in a very supportive, loving family. Right. She was a high performer at school. She's a trained gymnast. So, on paper, she sounds like she's got it sorted. She was a high performer at school. She's a trained gymnast. So on paper, she sounds like she's got it sorted. But she is convicted of scolding her boyfriend with boiling water, stabbing him, keeping food from him.

She banned him from their bed. She decided what clothes he would wear on a day-to-day basis. Like every day. Yeah. Stopped him from seeing his friends and family and then took over his Facebook account. Minus the scolding. Didn't you ban your ex-husband from wearing satin boxes? Yeah, but who's going to jail me for that?

He goes to the police. The police are like, to be fair. To be fair. We're in the 2000s. She's got a great point. Also that green jersey he used to wear went accidentally missing.

Lots of but you're not alone. You see green jersey immediately I pictured it. Yeah. You never said you're not leaving the house today wearing that

I'm going to dress you every day. I mean not every day. Yeah. I get that. Are you are you going to wear that? That's all I get.

Right. Did you have another pair of jeans? Like that. Yeah, right. Oh, I just straight up go, they don't go together. You need to change one or the other. Or like, you just straight up say. But you're not.

I don't say you look awful or anything like that. That's the lesser of a situation. Apart from the scolding with the water, it sounds like how you punish a dog off the bed. You're not allowed on the bed. You're not eating because you pooped inside. She took over his Facebook. She would make sure people weren't messaging him.

She's absolutely crazy. And he didn't see his friends and family, so there was not a lot of chances for him to be like, help. How does... Any word on how she stopped him from having food? Yeah, I don't know. She kept food from him?

She didn't let him leave the house? I don't know. But then, if the food's in the fridge, how could he not just get it? You've got to try to get out of that, eh? If that's happening. She did plead guilty in the end. She's been sent to jail

for seven and a half years. So she was convicted of wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm. It's still amazing that that's the first ever case

in the United States. Yeah, it is really interesting that it's the first ever case. And maybe it would help guys who are in similar situations step forward to say it's not okay ever case. And maybe it would help guys who are in similar situations step forward to say it's not okay. No.

Shh. This can't leave the room. Okay, this can't leave the room. This is just between us. Just between us. Just between close friends. Yeah, we're talking a little bit softer.

Is it just between us? A little bit deeper. Just between us. No one else will know. This can't leave the room this week is this can't leave the room but the lie they don't think I know is dot, dot, dot,

where they're lying to you, but you're living the lie. You know they're lying. You know they're lying. Maybe you've found out and they don't know. And someone continues to lie to you. That's actually quite entertaining when that happens. When you find out something. As long as it's not like sad.

Well, yeah, that's true that's true Alright let's start This can't leave the room Okay so this can't leave the room But a girl that I know has been acting very hard done by And asking for a lot of sympathy from everyone Because her best friend stopped talking to her Except the secret that I know is that she's been sleeping with her best friend's boyfriend So whoopsie

Oh wow So that was a lot to take in So she knows a girl who's Playing the sympathy card and being like friend's boyfriend, so whoopsie. Oh, wow. So that was a lot to take in. So she knows a girl who's playing the sympathy card and being like, my best friend's not being friends with me anymore. But the reason being is that the girl is sleeping with the best friend's partner. So that's why the best friend doesn't want to be friends with her anymore. Why would you be making a big deal out of that? Because wouldn't you want to play it at home?

You wouldn't want to highlight. You don't highlight it. But she might be at work with different people. It might be a different crowd. So very rarely, if it was a Venn diagram, maybe there's no crossover. Okay. Sorry, this can't leave the room, but I know that my flatmates want to

kick me out. I've heard them secretly talking about it behind my back. This has happened to me. I've heard my flatmates talk about it. My old flatmates. What did you hear? What did they say?

Well, yeah, you only live with Andrew and your dog now if they're having a chat. All right, Leo. I reckon it's about time we got rid of her. No, because I heard them. I was walking up the stairs one day and I heard them talking about how they wanted to kick me out of the flat. But my nana had just died. Yeah. So they were like, oh, we can't.

Her nan's just died. Heard that conversation. Heard another conversation where they wanted to kick me out because at the time, my flatmates wanted to go, was going out with his cousin and he wanted her to move in, but they needed me to move out.

Why did they need you to move out if he was going out with her? They could have shared a room. Or was there just not the sort of communal space? No, I think when you were going out with your cousin, they need a separate room just to kind of keep up Oh, in case grandma comes over. Yeah.

It was okay. Like, they were mad partiers. Like, I think one of them had horse tranquilizers one weekend. I didn't even know that was a thing. For horses, it is.

What, did they just sleep all week or did they have a job? No. Oh, he was a teacher. And shit, you should have seen him at the racetrack in the mornings. He'd go out there and put on his little warm-up boots. I needed to be rid of that flat.

Yeah, that doesn't... He was a teacher. Yeah. For like how old were the kids that he was teaching? Primary, I think. Oh, that's fine. You just give them crayons. Yeah.

And then have them sleep under your desk. Give them crayons and have a couple of trankies. Just let the tranquilizers wear off and go home. Oh, God. Okay, next one. This can't leave the room, but my dad doesn't think I know that he had an affair one time

and had an illegitimate child who has added me on Facebook. Oh! Oh, God, they just stepped it up every time. They've added me on Facebook. So the illegitimate kid is like, oh, well, I'll add my stepsister. My secret half-sister.

Oh, no. Imagine you get some random friend request and they look a little bit like you. Yeah. You've got no friends in common, baby. This is odd. Oh, one mutual friend, Dad. Odd.

When and how now I've seen them so side and me in the reflection of my monitor, we all look a little bit alike. Do you know what happened to my friend? Did it? You know when you could pick up the home line and mute it? Oh, yeah, yeah. I tell you what, there was an art to picking up the line without, even with the mute button on,

there was an art to picking it up without clicking it. Yeah, yeah. And he heard his dad talk to someone else and figured out that he had an illegitimate son or a kid with someone else. And he was just like... What do you do with that information? Should I tell mum? Like, weird, eh?

Should I talk to dad? Yeah. You get McDonald's whenever you want with that information. Yeah, that's true. That's a powerful blackmailing tool. All right, this can't leave the room. My old best friend doesn't think I know that she's sweet with my brother, but I know, hence old best friend, she'd be mean and sweet with my partner.

Wait, what? What was the second bit? In the start, she said about the friend sleeping with her brother. We've got one replay. Okay. Listen. My old best friend doesn't think I know that she's sweet with her brother. We've got one replay. Okay, listen. My old best friend doesn't think I know that she's sleeping with my brother,

but I know, since old best friend, she's been sleeping with my partner. So the old best friend slept with brother and partner? No, I didn't get the partner part. Well, it's gone now forever, isn't it? Oh, God.

Not a good best friend. From the producer's booth, they all believe that you're on the money with the brother and the partner. Okay, so not good best friend. From the producer's booth, they all believe that you're on the money with the brother and the partner. Okay, so not a best friend at all. Terrible. Needs to be confronted and kicked to the curb. All right, next one.

This can't leave the room, but the lie they don't think that I know about is that I'm about to be made redundant. Oh, that's like the flatmates. They weren't even just trying to kick you out. They weren't even discussing their voice. I'd be starting to steal stuff from work.

That would be if they were like, oh, staff trip coming up in August. You'll be looking forward to that, Joe. Like, oh, yeah. Yep, I assume I'll be around then. All right, one more. This can't leave the room. They don't know I know.

My uncle is actually my dad. Wow, dramatic pauses there. Yeah, that was really well played with the dramatic pause. That I know that my uncle is actually my dad. What's that about? I've got so many

follow-up questions about that. Dads are up to some genetic, aren't they? Juicy goss! I reckon mums are too. Mums are just way better at secrets. Does the dad know that he's not her dad? And that it's actually

her uncle? Maybe. I hope dad knows. So many follow-up questions. Yeah. I hope it's dad's brother, you know, if we're talking about

how the uncle comes to it, not mum's brother. Yeah, that's not good. Because if it was mum's brother, that might not have ever been a voice disguiser. That just might have been the result of close interbreeding. Want to discuss now...

That tone. I just took a deep breathing. You came in hot with a deep breath. No, I'm just anticipating that it will be a discussion, but we're all going to be grown-ups and respectful of each other's feelings. Me too. Me too.

So this is going to, I want to keep this kind of anonymous where I got it from because I'm part of like a women's group on Facebook. Right. And I feel like I'll betray the trust if I tell you. Okay. I'm part of a women's group on Facebook too.

Fake profile. Right. Just all the inside. Okay. But there is a discussion on there, and I would like to talk about it now because one of the girls has said she obviously takes contraception,

and she's with her boyfriend. Now, she said she wants to charge him half of what she pays for her contraception. And I thought that was interesting because I've never done that. I've never even thought about doing that. How much? Because it can vary, can't it? It does.

Do you want cash or do you want F-Pos? Cash equivalent. Do you take F-Pos? Do you have pay way? What do you mean cash equivalent? No, but I was thinking, like, how much does this, how much does it cost? Four nights of the dishes. Well, I did such a huge stack of dishes last night.

I did all the dishes. You need to do the dishes and give me payment. Seriously. Okay, no, but how much does contraception cost? It varies. So mine, I think mine is subsidized because my pill is not very expensive. Okay. But it varies.

How much a month? I don't actually know. How much a time you get it? Because I get it in six months in store. How much in six months? How much for six months? 20? I think it's like 20, 30 bucks.

So five bucks a month. But not me. I'm not talking about me. There is contraception that costs a lot. Was hers significantly more expensive? Okay, right. So you could be getting like, I think it's the IUD, is it? That's like $500.

No, that's what they ISIS bear on the side of the roads in Iraq. No, those are IEDs. Oh, okay. Improvise explosive devices. Do you not want one of those in your arm? No. You won't be having babies though. Oh my God.

It certainly is. We said we were going to put our grown up pants on. I was hoping to get an IED put on my arm to avoid having children. All right, that'll do it. Yeah, that'll do it. See how all the girls are just like sighing

and rolling their eyes? This is the conversation that we can expect from our partners. No, no, no, no. This discussion on the women's only Facebook group, what, she's asking her boyfriend

to pay half her contraception? Yeah. And to be fair, all the girls in the group were like, well, that seems fair. Like, a lot of them hadn't thought about it. Don't do it.

But we all agreed it kind of seemed fair. It doesn't seem unreasonable. But what if, how much does an improvised explosive device cost to have in your arm? Like 500 bucks. How long do they last? I don't know. Five to six years? And do you pay them off or is it lump sum payment?

No, it would be lump sum. Lump sum. So I'm looking at $250 for a five-year investment. If I'm going halves. Am I going halves or am I paying more than half? You need a weekly installment. Okay, let's say we're doing halves. So I'm looking at $250 down payment for five years.

That's $50 a year. What rights does that give me? Are you kidding me? If I'm signing up, no one needs to know. Like if you go into no landing and you sign up

for five years interest free, I need a contract. To the situation. You have the same amount of rights as you had before. I have a question. What if we break up after a year

and you've still got five years of contraception? Can I contact, it's like taking over a lease. Can I say to the new boyfriend, hey mate, I just, I paid for five years but I only used one.

So you're going to take $250, divide it by five years, and get four years back of that? Yeah. Oh, my God. Or I'll just give you $100 on our anniversary, each anniversary. Are you looking at sort of paying it off? A payment plan.

So I asked Andrew last night. I'm kidding. I know you're kidding. I'm trying to ignore you. I think you should pay half. If you're with someone that's long-term, why not? Yeah. 100%. I asked Andrew last night. Obviously'm kidding. I know you for me. I'm trying to ignore you. I think you should pay half. If you're with someone that's long term, why not? Yeah. 100%.

I asked Andrew last night. Obviously, we're married now, so he pays for half of it. Haha. Anyway. Well, you both join accounts, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. But I said, like, before we were married, when we had separate accounts, do you think

it's fair to pay half? I was like, you know, there's people on this Facebook group that are discussing it with their partners. He's like, that's really interesting. Like, how much is that one? I was like, it's $500. He's like, you know, there's people on this Facebook group that are discussing it with their partners. He's like, that's really interesting. Like, how much is that one? I was like, it's $500. He's like, wow, so you pay like half, $250. I was like, yeah.

He's like, oh, wow, okay. Deflected. And now I realise I didn't actually even answer the question. Go back tonight and re-ask. Yeah. Re-ask the question. Can we go to the producer's booth? Antonania, how long have you been with Andy the Boyf?

Two years. Okay, does he pay half? Yeah, so I got an IUD in this time last year. Is that the one in the arm? No, that's not going in that arm. What's going in the arm? That's the rods. It's a different one.

Someone told me I was crazy because nothing goes in the arm on the text machine, but there's definitely one that goes in the arm. Yeah, it's a newer thing. Like a pod, isn't it? Some kind of futuristic chip. Doesn't it slowly release the chemical out of it? Yeah, she's a slow release.

You can have it taken out. And that lasts a long time too, doesn't it? That one. So you already do this. You pay half. Mm-hmm. Yeah. How much is it?

I paid $5.70 for mine, and that's going to be five years, and I think he paid about half, yeah. Now, if you break up, did you have that discussion? Will he invoice you for the remainder? I like to think, knowing that I'm dating someone of a certain character, that he wouldn't send me an invoice. But maybe that's what you're thinking.

I don't know the ins and the outs, but that might be a GST tax deductible. No, but you're not, as the boyfriend, you're not paying for it. You're not paying for rights to it. You know that, eh? You're not like, I pay this much, I get free entry. Like I get a key or something,

a swipe card. It's not like a five year subscription. Like a swipe card. Like, it's a subscription. You know that, eh? Like anytime fitness, you can go anytime you want.

The subscription is while we're together. That ends When we break up It has nothing to do With contraception Right No I

Jokes aside 100% on board I know you are Because you have to take it You have to have the thing Implanted or put under your skin Or take it every day We've got

Really In the scheme of things Not much to whinge about Exactly What about you James? Like maybe an awkward Stiffy every now and then, but really generalised, that's about as bad as it gets.

James, the producer, what do you do? Because you've got a long-term girlfriend. Yeah, I don't pay any at the moment, but to be honest, we've never really talked about it. And she was already on the pill before we started going out. So technically, you're scot-free. She still has to pay for it. Yes, still getting on scot-free. She still has to pay for it.

Yes, still getting on scot-free. She agreed to that contractual obligation. Yeah. We didn't really talk, but if she did, then I think 100% I'd agree because it's going to be a lot cheaper than a child over five years. Yeah, good call.

They're very expensive. I can tell you, they are very expensive. Producer Caitlin, should girls have to go halves with their boyfriend? I mean, this is not a problem you're currently facing. Yeah, thanks. No. Well, I pay $80 for three months.

But you're on a special one, eh? I see, it's a spinny. Yeah, it's a spinny one. Could you maybe just do like a tariff or like a one-off $5 fee for Tinder dates? Like a concession card. Oh my God. Like a casual. A casual.

A casual or maybe like, you know, five for ten dollars or something. Okay, sure. I'll try it. But no refunds. No refunds.

Because you always pay more for a one-off or casual or a concession rather than a, you know, full subscription. Is this like a gym membership? You can get lots of

guys sign up and then they just never come. Yeah, they never go. They never go. Or no, it'd be like signing a gym subscription and they go to go but it's just shut and they're like, oh, is that not. Yeah, they never go. They never go. Or no, it'd be like signing a gym subscription. They go to go, but it's just shut.

And they're like, oh, is that not? No, lights are off. Right. Okay, well, I think we should take some calls on this. 0800-DANCE-AT-HEM, 9696. Who should pay? Do you think it is fair that, I mean, no one, is anyone going to disagree that it is fair that you should go 50-50?

We'll see. Guys and girls want to know. Or are there guys that are like, no, it's not my problem? Yeah. Or are girls like, no, it's, this is-50? We'll see. Guys and girls want to know. Or are there guys that are like, no, it's not my problem? Yeah. Or are girls like, no, this is my thing? Mm-hmm.

I promise I won't jump down your throat. No judge for either opinion. Okay, 0800-DARLS-AT-HEM-9696. So this popped up in a women's only Facebook group, Megan. Yeah, that I'm a part of. And it was a discussion about a girlfriend who wanted to ask her boyfriend to pay for half of

her contraception. So was she putting it out there like, is it even? Do you think that this is fair? Yeah. And all the girls were like, never thought about it, but yes, I think it's fair. So I was like, well what do guys think about this? Have we started a thing where a lot of people are going to have to have this conversation

now tonight? And somebody said while this is a very interesting conversation, I'm waiting for my girlfriend, who I know listens to your show, to hit me up about this tonight. So I've already started a list of things I pay for that she doesn't contribute to. Oh, don't do that. Netflix alone costs more than her pill does a month,

and I tell you what, we use more Netflix. Oh, no. But that's the thing, it can be anything from like $5 a month for the pill. Yeah. To like $80, $100. And then there's like Connie's as well. Because you just went to the bathroom,

Megan's a double bagger. Don't say it like that. No, you're not supposed to put two condoms on. He's being silly. I just meant like pill and condom. Yes. Which is like when you buy a bottle of wine at the supermarket, you put it in another bag. I very much want to be in control of that situation.

Oh, there's nothing wrong with that. No, it's not like putting a bottle of wine in two bags. It's like putting a bottle of wine in a bag and having a hand underneath it. Yeah. Or a box. Poetically, yes, like putting it into a box. Some other messages in,

people said, this has never even crossed my mind. No, me either. Isn't it bizarre that it is just something that, what does that say? That people have never had this conversation or even thought about it. Because a lot of girls take the pill for other reasons as well.

Like it balances out your hormones. You know, they might not even be in a relationship. So it's just something you kind of do for yourself. We'd pay great money to have those hormones balanced more. Can you stop? I'm in a safe place. I'm not in a safe place. I'm not in a safe place.

KJ, good morning. How are you? It's listening time. Hi, honey. Now, you and your husband, do you go Harvey's or what? No. So this was before we got married. Yep.

And I made him pay for it. It was $500. What did you get done? I got the Mirena, which is sort of IUD free. The last five years. Yeah, my last five years. I think my couple IUD last 10 years and it's free from the government. But the Mirena's apparently better.

Right, okay. That thing terrifies me. I've just illustrated to Megan through a game of charades. Yeah. Yeah, that, I mean. See, that's interesting, because you go through this situation, which is painful, and, you know,

you're the one dealing with it, but he's the one that wants to use the playground, so. I agree, I agree. And that's why I was sort of like, look, you earn so much more than I do. It's only fair that you pay for it. Yeah, and it is like a playground because for a few days it is shut, isn't it?

Yeah. Because I don't know, maybe the council need to fix a slide or something. I don't know. Swings, chains came off. Amber, who pays for what in your relationship? Well, at the beginning of a relationship, when you're sort of doubling up,

I pay for the pill and get him to pay for the condoms and, you know, practicing safe intimate relationship. Very responsible. Yes, and then after that, it sort of depends on what you're doing. If you're doing the expensive one or if you're still

just paying the pill. And like you said before, if you're paying for it anyway and it's not that expensive, then are you really going to ask for $10 a month? So have you ever asked a guy to pay for it? I haven't but I've thought about it. But I suppose like that last person said, it kind of

balances out like you might pay for in a relationship as long as you're paying roughly, you know. Netflix. He's paying for Netflix, you're paying for that. He'll pay for this, you pay for that. It just works out, doesn't it? Yeah. I don't know.

But then you've got to keep a tally. Yeah, and you don't want to be keeping a tally, do you? All right. Thanks for your call, Amber. Stuart, what do you think? I don't think man should have to pay half. Stuart, you're a brave man. You've wandered into the den. I'll just pass you on to Megan.

I know. He's here. You've got the floor, Stuart. Tell us why. Well, if a man gets a snip, women aren't going to pay half of it. Oh, you mean vasectomy? No, but the difference is you're probably married or sharing bills by that time anyway.

Well, if you're sharing bills, then the woman's going to take the money anyway, so do them all. You're losing out regardless. You know, let's be honest now. If you're married, you're not getting much tax anyway, so I'm going to make a difference with it. He's preaching from the pulpit. Let the man speak.

He sounds like a downtrodden man. Stuart, thank you. You were nodding. Born what? Well, I wasn't nodding. That was just... Okay. I was just moving my head.

Is that not a good point though? By the time you're getting the snip, you're already... Yeah, I assume we're talking about prior sharing bills. Even pre-engagement, pre-living together properly because surely then there's a joint account.

Yeah, when you do pay for things individually. Are you together? How long should you be together before you're asking them to pay half the contraception? A year? Six months? Two years? No, because that first year

is surely when you do it the most. So it's the part where it's needed. Yeah, the most. A few months. Can you imagine how unromantic it would be to be hooking up with someone and she says, oh, get a condom. And he's like, I'll leave you pay half.

I've just got this invoice box here from Warehouse Stationery. Yeah. Don't worry, it won't cost much, a bulk order. Do you want to transfer it into my bank account before? Am I killing the mood with all this finance chat? How much does your payable cost? I'm more than happy to contribute half of what it breaks down to for one day. One day.

Well, he's only using it for one day. You don't know how long this is going to be long. Just before we get to fact of the day, a couple of follow-ups to the discussion we've been having this morning about if... Men should halve women's contraception when you're in a relationship. Somebody brought up a great point. The. Yeah. Where is it at? Somebody brought up a great point. The ECP.

Who pays for that? That's the emergency contraceptive pill. Surely you have to have that. Yeah, that should be a hard piece. There's two people involved. I don't know. I reckon guys would be very panicky. If you could play it cool, ladies, you could probably get in a payout.

How much is it? You could literally, like, look them in the eye and be like, I'm more than happy to have this baby. I feel a connection between us. Let's get married. He'll be like, how much do you need? Take $1,000. I don't know how much these things cost.

Caitlin, do you know how much it is? I've honestly, hand on heart, never taken it, but some of my friends have. After Parachute. Factual. Factual. They did high sales after Parachute. I think it was free because I think we went to Family Planning.

Not if you go to the pharmacy. No, because I had to take my friend ages ago to the pharmacy to get one. Yeah. Because she slept with someone. We got it. You didn't need it. We understand. They were all looking at me like it was me.

What happens? Oh, yeah. We know you're not taking it. No, but they were giving me looks like, oh, what have you done here? So you went to the pharmacy. Yeah, I can't remember his age. Surely it's not over like $50. No, I think max $50 if you go to the pharmacy.

Yeah, that should definitely be a Harvey's thing. At least, yeah. Oh, yeah, go Harvey's on that one. Yeah. All right. It's time for... Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Today is April 18th and it's Coma Patient Day in Poland.

What? Happy Coma Patient Day. Yes, happy Coma Patient Day to you too, my Polish friends. It was initiated by a Polish celebrity who knew someone in a coma, so I think became personally involved and maybe had that sort of celebrity status where they just gave something a little push and it kind of, oh, yeah, let's please them. They're great. They're good for Poland.

Yep. And Coma Patient Day. You still have to go to work. It's not like Christmas. Okay. But they have events for people in comas, which is weird because they're not like around. That's the ironic thing about Coma Patient Day.

You can't participate in a day specifically for you. And especially because sometimes they know what's going on. Is that why you're doing it? No, but that would be the worst. Oh, they're having so much fun and I can't move my body. Your eyes are open and you can see a cake, but you're like. Can someone jam that in my mouth? I promise if you're ever in a coma to jam some cake in your mouth.

Yes, please do. Please do. Just rub it around on your tongue. Because I assume they'll pop a tracheotomy in my throat. Just put the cake into the tube. I don't know what that's for. Is that for breathing or eating? Breathing.

We'd have to stuff it around the tube, either side. Push it or put it in the tube and go. And blow it down the tube. Like a blow dart. Yeah. But with sponge cake. Yeah. Just brush your teeth beforehand.

I'm in a coma. It doesn't mean I can't taste your rank breath. But if there's a cake on Coma Patient Day, pop a little cake down my feeding tube and feed me up on Coma Patient Day. Hey, some interesting sub facts about comas. Okay. Coma comes from the ancient Greek word coma.

Which means deep sleep. So coma literally means deep sleep. All we did was we changed it from a K to a C. We did that with a lot of Greek words. It's a little Greek looking. We'll just put a C on the front of it all. Stop you. So you're not officially

in a coma until you've been unconscious and unresponsive for over six hours. Okay. And that's when it officially becomes a coma. Right. I've got a few other coma tips. So if you're in a coma for five hours, you don't get to participate in a coma day.

No, you don't actually. And you can't literally say, I was in a coma once, which I'm imagining is the only good thing about being in a coma. Is that if comas ever come up, like for example on, on today, April 18, Polish Coma Day, you can be like, oh, yes. I was in a coma. I feel like I can celebrate.

I've been in a coma yesterday. But if you're only in it for five hours, I'm sorry, no coma cake jammed down your tube hole. And you are a stickler for the rules. I am a stickler for rules. So today's fact of the day is today, April 18, is Coma Patient Day in Poland. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Just quickly, we've had a message from Councillor Richard. Friend of the show.

Friend of the show. He said free, you get the, what is it? The morning after pill. The ECP. The emergency contraceptive pill. Free at Auckland Sexual Health. And family planning. Within 72 hours. So I'm sure that'd be the same around the country. Other places would be doing that. At different places,

look it up. $35 from the pharmacy, $5 from the GP. But then you've got to pay to see the GP. Not unless you're under... If you're under a sedentary... Yeah, no, that doesn't count because it's under very young. Options. Yeah, but that's the problem about the ECP. It's for people who can't plan ahead.

So I doubt anybody's going to be planning ahead where to go and get their... A 20. Free for under 20s. Oh, under 20, okay. I messaged him about a broken... There's a broken TV yesterday at the beach. Oh, I like to message my friend Richard as a rate payer. I like to message him whenever I see anything not lying.

Like a wonky post. Wonky signs, anything. It's great. Rubbish. A blocked gutter. He loves hearing from me. He does. Blackout movement.

This is why. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat.

Oh, buckle yourselves in or undo your buckles because this is why your fat is this week. Could be the end of us all, to be totally honest. Pringles is releasing four new flavours as part of their food truck range. Oh, that sounds great. Is one of them a taco or kind of... Mexican inspired?

Yeah. So there's cheeseburger. Cheeseburger is leading the pack. Food truck. But right under it says Pringles. It's got Mr. Pringles man with the big bushy moustache. Yet no mouth, which is hard for him to eat. Maybe that's why he's such a successful chip man,

is because he can't eat his own product. He doesn't eat his profits. No. He might have a feeding tube, like I had just moments ago in a hypothetical coma situation. Yeah. And he might get ground up Pringles poured down his feeding tube. Do you have the other flavours?

Or just that one? So just on cheeseburger, underneath where it says cheeseburger in large writing, straight underneath it underneath it says artificially flavoured, in case you thought they were soaked in cheeseburger. No, I don't think we... Is it a cheeseburger with pickle or without pickle? Oh, ditto. No word on whether or not pickle.

Just a combined flavour of a cheeseburger. What are the other flavours? Chicken, chicken, chicken taco. Which would be interesting. Now, this would be America. Which would be interesting. Now, this will be America, won't it? England actually reporting those. But it is to our American friends we can go to learn a little bit more about what they've had

for food truck flavoured Pringles. Okay. Hawaiian style lime and chilli, which I think would be amazing. Okay, do we know anyone in the States? A tangy chap. Bring some of these back. Italian pizza style flavour.

No. Tex-Mex style beef fajita, I believe it is pronounced. Yeah, it's fajita. Tex-Mex style beef fajita. Also on the list. Yeah, they sound great. I mean, all of these sound like winners. I don't want to dispel.

Have I found more? I think the Pringles would travel well too if there's any international lists. sound like winners. I don't want to dispel, have I found more? Have I? I think the Pringles would travel well too if there's any international listeners. Well, the thing about the Pringles is that they're in the tube,

aren't they? It's in a postal tube. And it's amazing that someone, like, I don't know who works at their factories, but for them to be able

to find all the right sized chips to stack on top of each other. I know, yeah, yeah. It's remarkable. Amazing.

They get, they must get all of their potatoes at that exact diameter. I don't know how they do it. And then slice them thinly using some sort of magical slice machine. Amazing. They must get all of their potatoes at that exact diameter. I don't know how they do it. And then slice them thinly using some sort of magical slice machine. Yeah. And then stack them, as you say.

I'd love to go to the Pringles factory to see the offcuts. Oh, they'd be delicious. What a delicious place to be. I wouldn't even care. Another edition of This Is Why We're Fat Today with... And watch it because, you know, they're coming in. The old saying, once you pop, you can't stop. Very, very true.

It is. So no word on a New Zealand release, if any. No word on a New Zealand release, no. Probably for the best. Do you want me to do that thing where I tell you the calories? No. We agreed you weren't. No.

Not in this segment. We're just going to leave it there with an ignorant blip. This is why. This is why. This is why. This is why. ZDM's Fletch. Not in this segment. We're just going to leave it there with an ignorant blus.