ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 18 2019

Episode Date: April 17, 2019

Happy Long Weekend Group Toot day! Megan has a new contraption and some more Goat Chat.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. You know, just on the Notre Dame. Am I finally saying that right? You are. Notre Dame.

Good work, me. The, you know, people donating money and stuff. And I saw a very good point. A lady said, I'm a Catholic, so don't think this is Catholic bashing. Yeah. That's what this lady said. But the Catholic Church is worth $2 trillion worldwide.

They don't need your donations to rebuild a church they can easily afford to rebuild themselves. I know, I saw this. Surely as a Christian, you'd be better to donate your money to people who actually need it.

People in Puerto Rico, people in Mozambique. Yeah, I saw that. But that's when it's the church's responsibility to turn around and say, we're going to donate this money because we actually can afford to rebuild it ourselves. And surely there'd be insurance, right? Are they with like AMI or? Imagine putting that phone call through the tower.

Hello, is this the tower? Yep. Oh, I should be French. Bonjour. I've been down to my church. That was Italian. I wish this would happen in Italian. I've been to church.

I've been down to my church. I've been to church. You've been to my church. Oh, I've been to church. I've been to church. I've been to church. Do you know, do you know, Samar? The access is very high. I understand there's a big old church.

Actually, technically, that could be the Pope making the call. No, because he's not. No. Someone who works for the Pope in the Vatican City, because they've got Italian accents, right? Yeah, they do. Yes. So that was just a head of Catholic church call.

Some people have been selling bits of it on eBay, like charred bits of the wood. I don't know how they must have walked in and got it. What do you want with that? I have no idea. Yesterday, in fact, the day we were talking about Notre Dame, and every time I'm going to say it wrong. That,

the wood that that was all made of was built from the forest they cut down to build it. Huh. It was all like, literally they cut it down and milled it on site and hoisted it up

and made it into, made it into it. So yeah, I mean there's a bit there and yes, you say it's 800 years old. Right. Coming up on the show,

the long winking group two. We're here the show, the long weekend group toot. We're here. Oh, I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten. Really? What a great day. It's 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock we do this.

Your chance to toot if you're in traffic, if you're on the road at 8 o'clock this morning. Do join us. Do you know what we should do in the lead up to 8 o'clock? Is I feel like we should play the toot out. Because, you know, I don't want any... We're going for a record of over 10 successful toots. You're right, we need to practice. We need to make sure the toot's on point.

We also need to just approach the strategy of just doing it regardless. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines that I've found. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three headlines. Okay. Number one, twin brother makes life hell.

Headline two, man with odd fetish arrested. And headline three, local man trapped for five hours. Has story number two, has he been kink shamed? Well. Story number two Has he been kink shamed? Well He's broken the law Megan Okay So I mean You could technically say

He's breaking the law Right okay Excuse me sir Question one Yes Story one Yes sir I've got a question about story one

Is this a story I read a story about twin brothers Identical twin brothers, identical twin brothers. Yes. One has been convicted of a heinous crime. Yes. One of the most heinous crimes. Yes.

And his twin brother is not. Yes. But everyone keeps tarring him with the... Yes. Thinking it's the brother that committed the heinous crime. Oh, that's so... Like one of the worst ones. Right. Well, that's the thing with identical twins.ous crime. Oh, that sucks. Like one of the worst ones. Right.

Well, that's the thing with identical twins. You don't know, do you? And it was a high-profile case in the area, and his face was plastered everywhere, so everyone just sees this guy, and he's like, how are you at a prison? You just need a T-shirt and be like, I'm so-and-so not.

I'd move. You just have to move. I'm an identical twin. Because it's hard to tell them apart. I had a twin come up to me once, and he was like, which one am I? I was like, shit. And I? I was like, shit. And I guessed right.

Oh, tossing the coin. But I took too long. 50-50. I took too long. He knew. He knew I was guessing. That you stuffed it up. That I was guessing.

Yeah, but if they're identical twins, how are you supposed to tell? Like their own mum would get some confused. Yeah. Exactly. It's the whole point. The thing is, you could tell, like, just ever so slightly. My goats look quite a lot like you. Put different coloured colours on them. Yeah. Exactly. That's the whole point. The thing is, you could tell, like, just ever so slightly. My goats look quite a lot like you, but different coloured collars on them. Right, okay.

That was your twins. Steve, you're the blue collar. Barry, you're the pink collar. Yep. You can go with pink, Barry, because you're called Barry, so it's a balance out of the masculine name and the more feminine, traditionally feminine colour of collar. Okay, well, we don't need that story. We've dealt with that. So

man with odd fetish arrested or local man trapped for five hours? Go with your fetish then. We're not going to kink shame him, but we're going to hear it now. No, but we're going to shame him for breaking the law. We go now to Japan where on April 10th police announced

the arrest of a 40-year-old man for stealing tennis rackets and cases worth $205 US dollars. So he's got a fetish that involves tennis rackets. Well, yes, he does. He does. Well, initially, police thought he could be reselling these tennis rackets for profit. Wait, can we guess what he's doing with them? Sure.

What's he doing with the tennis rackets? Why don't we look on Vaughn's face? Smooshing his balls on them? I'm just trying to think what weird thing you could do with a tennis racket. Because you could use them as a paddle, right? Is he putting the handle up his bottom? And then walk around pretending to be a beaver. That would be not.

I'll cheat on a tree for you, if you like. I'm a beaver, look at my tail. Whack, whack, whack. No. That's not it. That's incorrect. Incorrect, Vaughn. No, it's not that.

Did I go way too, have I gone way, way. Is he just using them as a paddle and he just likes the strings? Well, police delved into this and questioned him some more. And he told them he likes the smell of sweat that seeps into the tennis racket handles. Bro, you'd be better sticking them up your bum and pretending to be a beaver. That I can understand. So this was apparently where he stole them from was a men's tennis club.

So he went through a couple of the lockers to find some real smelly ones and nicked off with them. Yeah, come on man. You're skipping someone's old hand sweat. They're kind of like a leather aren't they

The handles And so they kind of wear And the sweat kind of seeps into them Yeah Right Okay I mean we're not kink shaming He's into that Well no we're not

Police I don't know what's going on in Japan But police add this to a file On the 15th of March They arrested a man in his 50s for stealing rubber boots used by guys in a poultry factory. Also because he liked the smell. Is that the same guy?

No. Different guy, different man. Huh. Hmm. Okay. Whatever you're into. Maybe just don't steal it. Exactly.

You should ask if you can get them. Yeah, or just buy them. Yeah. Buy them online. Second hand. That's weird. Not going to look at tennis rackets the same now, especially after what you do with them. Well, I just buy them. Yeah. Buy them online, secondhand. That's weird. Not going to look at tennis rackets the same now, especially after what you do with them.

Well, I don't do it with them, but I just went deep in kink. I should have. Yeah. I mean, this one's weirder. You did come up with that pretty quickly. Yeah. I did, actually. It was a little embarrassing how quickly my mind went there, I think.

I'd like to formally apologise to my family. Probably only my fatherless thing at this time of day if he's hooking the cows and that's probably the most embarrassing situation here. Just a wee message for our boss if he's listening this morning. Ross Boss. Yeah. He can take a leaf out of these guys' books.

So Turn Partners is a digital startup studio in Britain. They've been dubbed Britain's best bosses. And that's because they just took their whole staff, granted, I mean, it's nine people. There's more people here at ZM, but yeah, regardless. They took their staff for a month-long five-star trip to Goa and Mumbai in India. So they treat their

staff, it's not like a one off thing, they regularly treat their staff regularly treat their staff to a month holiday where they pay for it and then they're also given the flexibility to work from wherever they want to.

Do you have to go, like, do you still get your annual leave, or is that your annual leave? That's probably your annual leave. Oh, I don't know. But they pay for it. No, you don't want to spend your annual leave with the people you work with,

because that's... Maybe it's not then, I don't know. Like a holiday also. If they can work from wherever they want, maybe they're working slash also going on holiday. No, it's not a working holiday. It's not? No.

Wow. They literally, they pay, and it's five star too. They get, you know, like five star hotels and stuff. And the bosses just said they wanted their staff to enjoy life to the full because a happy team creates happy bosses. And so the rest of the year, I guess you might get a few days off. Yeah, they said they want them to all get

away from the cold British weather and experience some sun all the time. Because it's better for you. And India. Goa, India. Yeah, right. Well, it varies. They've taken them to Thailand, like other places as well. Ooh, la la. But they do have to hang out with, I mean, they're all hanging out together.

Yeah, that's part of like a holiday, eh, right? You need to have a break from the people you see. What? What? I beg your pardon. Did you just hear that? Like, I don't know if I'd want to go on a month-long holiday with you two. We've been away before.

Yeah, short stints. And then by the end of it, we need to like get away. I've never felt that way. Have all of you? How rude. Oh, whatever. Unbelievable. I feel that way at the end of every day.

Like, it's going to be a nice little mini holiday away from you guys. Like the next 12 hours. Tomorrow, yeah. Oh, my gosh. A 12-hour holiday from those guys. So great. It's going to be great, great. You wouldn't be complaining.

It's five star, would you? Yeah. As long as I've got my own hotel room. Yeah. Well, what's Ross Boss doing for us? Is he taking us away anywhere? Well, if we're lucky, we get a motel with, like, orange carpet. And we're expected to work while we're there.

Wherever this fanciful motel is. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. His name is Charlie. He's from Napier. He's a teenager and he has decided to go on a playground swing for nearly two days.

Why? Dunno, man. Is this an official Guinness World Record? Because you've got to have someone from the Guinness Book. Yeah. You've got to oversee it.

I think so. Or you've got to film it, don't you? There's a whole lot of... Stream it. Yeah, you probably could. That's probably one way you could do it. There'd be visual proof then.

But yeah, he's once a swing for nearly two days. He's even been on the telly. Right, we're going to take you to Hawke's Bay now where a 16-year-old boy is attempting to break a Guinness World Record. At six o'clock this morning, Charlie O'Brien sat down on a swing and started swinging.

And he's still going. Over 13 this morning, Charlie O'Brien sat down on a swing and started swinging. And he's still going. Over 13 hours later, Charlie, good evening. Why are you doing this? Good evening. Well, basically, I don't know, you know. I just thought it'd be pretty funny, I guess. I thought it'd be sick to get in the book. How are you planning on eating?

It's a little difficult. And I have to take the gloves off, obviously. But, like, I just sort of put it on your lap and eat, you know? What do your parents think of all this? Uh, they've been supportive, yeah. I love this kid. He's funny. He doesn't know why he's doing it.

He's like, I just want to be in the book. I'd be pretty sick to be in the book. He is going for the Guinness record. Yes. Has he gone officially about it or is he just trying to... Yeah, does he realise that he needs someone to... I don't know, but when we just received a text message in, this kid in Napier, I drove past him this morning at 5am

and he was still going strong. Well, that was going to be my question. Absolute champ. If anyone is nearby, and does it say where and what park he's doing this in in Napier? I'd love to get an update, even if someone can go in and talk to him. So he's been swinging all night? He's been swinging all night. What if he fell asleep and topped it off?

He's going to have great core strength at the end of things, because you've got to engage the core to get the swing. It's one of those real old school ones. It's chains and it's like a leather kind of a strap. Yeah, but he's thought about that because he's got gloves on. He's got big heavy-duty gloves to support his hands. I thought the heavy-duty glove was for fighting the cold. Oh, it could be for that, yeah. Well, they last night when he was on the news, it wouldn't have been.

Do you know what I would love to see, given that this is quite a prestigious event happening in Napier this afternoon? Perhaps down by the kid on the swing, we could have a long weekend group toot. Oh, yeah. Just to show our support. Wouldn't that be nice?

For young Charlie. Chuck, they're calling him. They're not. I just decided to call him Chuck. Not enough Charlies are calling themselves Chuck these days. Yeah, if you're in Napier, you're driving past, give us an update this morning. The latest update right now would be great.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I don't want to exclude you guys. Oh, you had hair once upon a time. We're talking about hairdressers and pricing. I still go to Barber's to get my beard done. And you know what? I won't tell them this, but think they're Wildly undercharging It's like I'm there

The last time I went I was there for 30 minutes Yeah Got the full treatment $15 What? No

That's I know But I feel like I'm not paying enough And they did a Top notch job Oh no They need to charge more

Like the last one I did It had the fade It had the fade and the tight lines. You had a fresh fade. I had a fresh fade. It's like the opposite of a person's head fade.

Yeah, you just got a fade to bald. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, no, but you fade to bald on a fade, but it's just flipped upside down

because you fade to bald on the face. Yeah, yeah. Whereas I'm bald on the top. Yeah. So it's still fresh fades for bald guys.

It's just bed fades. Yeah, bed fades. But don't tell them they're doing it too cheap. Well, technically, I've got a fresh fade if I let it grow because it still grows on the side, it's not on the top, so it would fresh fade to the top by itself. But is this just one place that's charging $15? It just seems to be generally what barbers cost for a bed trip.

What are you doing? Don't tell them that it's so cheap. They're good people. I mean, there's different places. There's different prices. If you get like the, that time I got the full head thing. I had the steam machine.

I had the whole shebang. That was a little bit more, but it was worth it. I felt like a princess. Okay. With a beard. Well, speaking of prices, this is what I want to talk about.

So a price list from a British hairdresser. She posted it on, it looks like her Instagram story, but her name's being cropped out. And this is very confusing. It says, please note the pricing is subject to change. If you are not fully honest

about the length of your hair or any aspect of initial consultation pricing, it will be adjusted accordingly at the time of your appointment. This is where it gets hairy. If you are above the height of 5'8", there is an additional charge. What?

If your hair is bra strap length or longer, there is an additional charge. Bra strap length. Is that the one across the back? Across the back, yeah. Just don't wear a bra. Let's see her measure it then. I just wear my bra around my waist.

Yeah. No, it needs to be up high. It needs to be around your neck so that it's shorter. Oh, right. Okay. No, but if it goes, she said it costs more if it goes past the bra strap. Yeah, down. Yeah, but you want your bra strap as low as possible.

Around your waist. No, because that would be more expensive because it's long. No. Your hair's long. Oh, past the bra strap. Yeah, okay. We got there, didn't we? Yeah.

Okay. If you incorrectly measure your hair, the scheduled length you initially booked may be changed and additional cost will be added accordingly. Also, current pictures of your hair are required at the time of consultation. Everyone's like, you have lost your damn mind. Luke, you lost your damn mind, girl. So charging, because you're taller than 5'8",

don't you sit on an adjustable chair? Just sink it as low as it goes. Is she short? Get a step box or something. Get a box to step on. But yeah, those chairs go down. Yeah, you pump them up and down. So yeah, everyone said, have you lost your mind?

What in the world is height got to do with the length of hair? Also, if your hair is long, is it still not the same hairstyle? So there was a poll and people agree that you should be charged more if your hair is long, which I also don't understand. And lots of hairdressers do this. And they're only cutting the head off it though. Yeah. Shouldn't it be on if you're getting like a full on style or if you're getting like.

Yeah, that's a weird one. A trim and layers. But maybe there is more to it because it's so long, there's more to handle and it takes longer and that's more of their time. Really?

I don't know. I'm just... And like if you're getting like a short like pixie cut, I would have thought that would take quite a bit of skill and time as opposed to just

cutting my ends off and giving me layers again or whatever. Because when the hair's long, you've got more room for error. But when the hair's very short, any small error is going to show up a lot more, isn't it? But we can argue about that one.

I don't think we can argue about the fact that she's asking tall people to pay more. Oh, yeah, the height one, that's weird. On the subject of haircuts, have you seen that video during the round of the mum that left her kids unattended and came back and her brother had shaved her sister's head? With, like, zero. Oh, wow. Like, the back, looking at the kid from the front, you're like, oh, okay, I can see a little bit's gone,

and then they turn around, the whole back of the head's gone. That's something I would have done if I had a sister. Shaved her head. Thankfully, my brother never did that to me. It grows back, right? Yeah, but it takes a while. You've got to explain to every single person why both your kids are skinheads.

From the ZM Think Tank, Takes a while. You've got to explain to every single person why both your kids are skinheads. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. You're the top six. It's still the best joke. Top six things that have led to an Auckland Rail Lurk cost blowout. I'm very much looking forward to the Auckland rail loop because I like trains and underground tunnels. I want to go in the tunnels.

Me too. I feel like there was a media day where they invited people to see the latest and they don't take us seriously. Do you want me to ask them if we can? We're easy to please. They invite the bitchiest people along to these things. Like who? Like the people who are like, it's a waste of money.

Why is it taking so long? Invite the easy to these things. Like who? Like the people who are like, it's a waste of money. Why is it taking so long? Invite the easy to please people. Just invite your supporters. Let me ride a golf cart through a tunnel. Christ, I'll be your best friend forever. Like that's easy pickings. Would you want me to ask if we can do a media invite and go along and we can film it?

Yeah, like I'll wear a hard hat and you get like a high-vis vest. Do. I'll wear a hard hat and you get a high-vis vest. Do I have to wear a hard hat? So what they said it was going to cost $3.4 billion back a few years ago and now it's an extra billion. It's because we mucked around. Well, yeah.

If we've done this 30 years ago. Wait another 10 years, it'll be $10 billion. Wait another 40 years, it'll be a jillion billion. Like, that's just maths. Jillion billion. Oh you don't want that bill for a jillion billion. Oh no well they really scare you. Scale you.

Where are you going to find a billion jillions to pay that bill? Yeah. Jillion. Yeah. I need you. One less jillion to find. So the top six things that have led to an Auckland Rail Loop cost blowout, number six, holes. Pretty expensive.

Yeah. And they dig a lot of holes, big holes. Some of it they dig in the hole and then building the tunnel and then covering in the hole. Some of them they don't even dig in the hole on the surface, they just dig in the hole underground. That's about Megan. You found a hole in the carpet, you stand the floor. There was a hole in the surface. They're just digging the hole underground. That's about Megan. You found a hole in the carpet. You stand the floor.

There was a hole in the concrete and my heel just, out of all the parts I could have walked on the floor, fell in that little hole. It's, I suppose not everybody wear his heels.

I was going to say it's weird somebody hasn't fallen. This was at work, by the way. Megan was just standing on a piece of carpet and she was like staggered and I was like, well, she's had a couple of wines.

It's 9.30. So, and then she said, it's not the wines and I said, that's what we all say. We've had a few wines and a couple of wines. It's 9.30. And then she said, it's not the wines. And I said, that's what we all say. We've had a few wines. And then we found a hole in the floor. Yeah.

My heel literally went in. Do we have moles? It's like they drilled a hole in the concrete. Concrete moles? Concrete moles. Yes. Concrete termites. Yeah.

We're in big trouble if termites develop a taste for concrete. But it's like they drilled a hole for electrical wires. And then we're like, oh, no, we won't use it. Should we fill it in? Oh, shit, no. No, leave it there so someone falls in it one day. So holes, pretty expensive. Number five on the list of the top six things

that led to an Auckland rail loop cost blowout. We all forgot how many zeros are in a billion. Off the top of your head, how many? A hundred zeros. Seven? I don't know. A million? No, because a million, that's only 10 million.

Oh, okay. So it'd be what? See? 20. Easy mistake to make. It's not 20, no. What is it? 10?

It's nine, isn't it? Because you've got three there, three there. That doesn't make sense. Then that's a million, and then three more, a thousand. A thousand million is a billion. That's nine. And a trillion is 12 zeros. Yeah, so it goes up. So it's way off with 100. But then there's also, I million is a billion. Nine. That's nine. And a trillion is twelve zeros. Yeah, so it goes up. So it's way off for the hundred. But then there's also

I always thought a billion was a million millions but now everyone just seems happy that it's a million It's a thousand millions. Is it a thousand millions? It's a thousand millions. Yeah, it is. It's lazy. And you start using the words too quick. Is a billion a thousand millions? Yeah. In the US they're

in for currency and stuff. Holy shit, Kylie Jenner's so rich. Yeah. She's got 1,000 millions. Wow. It's like she won a standard lotto draw over 1,000 times. Yeah. Wow.

So it's like all of them. Number four on the list of the top six things that led to an Auckland rail loop cost blowout. We forgot to buy the trains. It was all kosher. And then someone's like, what's going on the rails?

And everyone was like, trains. I knew we forgot something. Bloody trains. Number three on the list of the top six things that lead to an Auckland Rail Loop cost blowout.

Did you know, additional to the holes, if you dig a hole deep enough, there's water down there. No one knew. So we dug down and there's like puddles and stuff. Oh no, I saw that out. Right, okay.

I'll tell you what makes a hole pretty expensive. Water in the bottom of it. Yeah. You know the beach, you dig a hole. Yeah. And you're just like, where's all this water coming from? Yeah.

Same. Yeah. Same. Same. I you're just like, where's all this water coming from? Yeah. Same. Yeah. Same. Same. I know, like, Auckland's, you know, a lot of Auckland CBDs

built on reclaimed land, which is where they just dumped a whole lot of stones and dirt in the ocean and they're like, we'll have that back. Yep.

And the dolphins are like, you win this time, but we'll have the last laugh. And we're like, well, have you heard of plastic? Because you were not going to have the last laugh. And this was before plastic was even used. Yeah, yeah. Like, we knew that we were, we're like, we're coming, well, have you heard of plastic? Because you were not going to have the last laugh. And this was before plastic was even used.

Yeah, yeah. Like, we knew. We're like, we're coming for you, dolphins. We're going to reclaim your land, and then we're going to throw plastic in the rest of your land that you call the sea, that we call the sea too, but you could probably just call land. It's where you spend all your time.

So there's water down the bottom of the holes, basically, is what I'm saying. Number two on the list of the top six things that led to an Auckland rail loop cost blowout. We've all done this. One person was measuring in inches, but of course the rest of us were using millimetres. Oh, silly. And an inch is 220 millimetres.

Yeah. 22 millimetres. See, even that was quite confusing. And the number one on today's top six things that led to an Auckland rail loop cost blowout. Apparently, I mean, no one told us, but you can't use slaves to build railways these days. Who knew? So anyway, long story short, labour costs are going to be way higher than we expected because we expected them to be zero.

And now they're not zero. Put that all together and you're lucky it only blew out a billion dollars, to be zero, and now they're not zero. Put that all together, and you're lucky it only blew out a billion dollars, to be totally honest. That's today's top six. When there's news a-breaking, it's easy to be a-faking, is what we're learning. And that should actually be written on the newsroom wall. Should I run that upstairs afterwards?

That's a good one. Because earlier in the week when Notre Dame caught on fire, yep, still struggling to stay there. No, you nailed it. You nailed it. But I hesitated. There was hesitation. I felt myself hesitating.

Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Not Redarme was on fire. Yeah. The world was scrambling. Yeah. I mean, people, like you think of it, how quickly you were looking through your Kentucky photos

for a photo in front of Notre Dame to put on Facebook and be like, RIP, prayers and thoughts. You just... Thoughts and prayers. Although I did see yesterday, it was like how quickly this tragedy turned into people skiting about their Paris... Oh, 100%.

Yeah. Yeah, holidays. 100%. So it was burning down, and we were looking for the New Zealand connection, as famously we do because we're the small dog in the fight. We're like, what about me? That's what newsrooms do.

They try to find a local angle. They're like, all right, what's our local angle? Do we know someone who's there? Well, the Taranaki Daily News fell for the old trickery, hook, line, and sinker. Toby Burkett is a Taranaki Daily News fell for the old trickery hook, line and sinker. Toby Burkett is a Taranaki man who said he was in Paris witnessing the massive fire at Notre Dame. Untrue. He was actually.

Because they've had to issue an apology. There's a story on the website. Yeah. Retracting and apologizing. He was, in fact, in Taranaki when he called the newsroom. Not in France. So he called the newsroom claiming he was or was he just giving comment and they assumed? No, he...

He called the newsroom. I mean, this is how easy it is. I'm just going to type in French cafe ambiance. There we go. Click. I'll turn up my thing. You're not playing Spotify at the same time? Oh, no.

We won't make that mistake again. Just let me make sure. Okay, so this is how long this took me to find. Look, I could have this in the background. Good morning, the Daily News. G'day, mate. It's Toby. How are you?

Really good. What's up, Toby? Well, as you can tell from the Daily News. G'day, mate. It's Toby. How are you? Really good. What's up, Toby? Well, as you can tell from the background noise, I'm in Paris. See, the hot on list and the thing's starting. Very Parisian. Yeah, yeah. Very Parisian. Well, what can we do for you?

I'm just watching this bloody Notre Dame burn down, mate. What a shambles. The Notre Dame? Well, you know, where the old hunchback guy is in the movie. Yeah, right. Okay, you're there. Are you on holiday? Hold on.

Are you listening in? Quite obviously, yes, I'm here. You guys want to know anything about it? Well, what's it like watching it burn? Ever burn a pile of rubbish? Yeah. Pretty much like that. Okay.

But, but, but bigger. Okay. And imagine the pile of rubbish is an 800-year-old church. Well, that's great, Toby. I'm going to print this. I'm going to get this online and quote you. That's Toby. Toby.

T-O-B-Y. Last name Burkett. Yep. B-U-R-K-E-B-Y. Last name Burkett. Yep. B-U-R-K-E-T-T. Oh, bonjour. I've just been delivered a French coffee and a croissant. And you're definitely in Paris watching it burn. Wow.

I don't think you could get this noise anywhere else. Hold on. Oh, yeah, no, the fire engine's coming. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Buongiorno. I'm here to put out the fire. Seems they've got some Italians on the job. Because I'm Toby.

Right, well, that's enough. And I'm in Paris. That's enough for me, Toby. I'm running this Right, well, that's enough. And I'm in Paris. That's enough for me, Toby. I'm running this in the news story. I'm staying with my auntie. Oh, you are? Okay. She lives in Paris.

What's her name? Oh, shit. Barbara. It's the French version of Barbara. All right, well, you definitely of Barbara. Barbara, Barbara. You definitely sound like she says that now. I mean, she was Barbara when she lived back home. Well, you definitely sound like you're in Paris.

Someone just dropped some, what was that? Was it an email? I think it was a bell falling from the tower. It was a bloop. Well, you can see how easy it is to fall for that. So many of you are in your room, that'll happen. It's Vaughan, by the way, not Toby. I know you were all tricked.

It was me. I was literally sitting three foot away from Fletch the entire time. Next up, goat chat. Hey, whoa, the people love the goats. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It was still under a month. It feels like they've been part of the family for so much longer, but it was a month ago.

It feels like ages. Hey, whoa, you. I'm sensing that wasn't said with the endearment, I was hoping. It was just under a month ago that we adopted two goats from a rescue centre, Harold and Helen. Those are the names they came with, but very happy. They've stuck. And they've quickly worked their little goatee ways into our hearts.

Horns and all. Have you met them, Fletch? Not yet, no. We need to have like a welcome party. I don't know if they like you guys. Because they'll see you as a competition for my affection. Right, okay. Even though you don't let me give you scratches between the horns anymore.

Right. But you'd say their social media hits. Yeah, okay. Even though you don't let me give you scratches between the horns anymore. Right. You'd say their social media hits. Yeah, people love them. People get angry with me if the day goes by where I don't put a video up feeding them something.

But then on the other hand... Gosh, they loved celery the other day because I'm always like, Sade, why'd you buy literally a whole celery plant? We only needed one stalk.

She's like, well, you never know when you're going to need celery. Well, I do. We never do. We never do. So that way I fed them some limp celery the other day.

Oh yeah. Loved it. Loved it. Yummed it right up. Anyway, when we got them, and one thing I know from previous ownership of goat is that the hooves of goats, they've evolved to live on a harder ground. So their hooves continue to grow much like a beaver's

teeth. And the beaver che choose to take the teeth down. But if a goat's not constantly on rocks or hard surfaces scraping down their hooves, the hoof will continue to grow. So you've got to get them trimmed. You've got to always cut them. Why don't you build them a little like concrete mountain in there? A hard area. Yeah.

A little concrete pile. Like a junk, like a, oh no. You need like a rocky outcrop like Lion King so they can stand on top of it. Yes. I could also pop up there for photo shoots with a cat. Yeah. So today they've got a doctor's appointment.

The goats. A vet's. Yeah, a vet. Yeah, would you say a vet? A goat doctor. A pet doctor. An animal doctor. An animal doctor.

A veterinarian Is coming A house visit Oh I was going to say Please tell me you're putting them In the back of the car Well I was pretty keen To take them to the beach

The other day But shud I was having none of it Wouldn't a goat lover Run down the beach It must have Would you have to have them On a leash right Yeah

Well they've got collars They walk on leads Oh my god Please can you take them To the beach Yeah I've just got to work out How to get them there. Wouldn't it be too soft, though, for them?

I mean, they're only going for a walk. Do they like to swim in the ocean? Who knows? Let's try. I'll be keen to ask. I'll take them out to the beach. Tonight on PR Rescue, a man is rescued with his two goats. Harold!

Helen! Oh, my God. Please, help them. Help them. Get in the IRB. God, and then the horn stabs the IRB. That sinks. Drama tonight on Pihar Rescue.

That would be a great rescue. Don't tell me that wouldn't be a ratings bonanza. It would be for Pihar Rescue. So they're having their first doctor's visit today. Right. So the vet comes to you. Comes and trims the hooves. Hooves, hoof, hoof.

All four hoofs on both animals. Right. Eight hooves. How much does that cost? I don't know. Because it sounds like something you could... You can't put a price

on happiness. It sounds like you could watch them do it and then you do it next time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. And I looked up a tutorial on how to do it.

Yep. And you have to have like a really good... You have to buy like special snips. Right. What would you call them? Trimmers. Clippers. Clippers. Clippers. So you have to buy like special snips. Right. What would you call them? Trimmers?

Clippers? Clippers. So you have to buy the special ones and you like give them a trim but it's just like yeah it's like toenails they can't feel it

or anything but you've got to get like and if they get too overgrown it makes them hard for them to walk and right. Yeah so because I signed them up to a goat health plan

where the vet the same vet that's coming today will come three times a year give them all their vaccinations. Are you actually kidding? Are you for real? I thought you were taking the piss. No, no. Oh, are you serious? Yeah. And she comes around and trims the hooves, vaccinates, checks their health.

Because Harold's got a missing tooth. I don't know if you know that. I don't know if I've told you. Can you get him a veneer? I'm thinking about it. What about a missing tooth. I don't know if you know that. He's got a, I don't know if I've told you, he's got a missing tooth down the bottom. I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. What about a gold, oh my God, a gold tooth? I don't know if my goats

fall under my health insurance though. I don't think they do. I was dependent. You know that's how you can show how old you care is get him a gold tooth. That's like. You know it goes

like crazy cat lady and then crazy goat man. Like you are just next level crazy cat lady. I'm getting so much more out of goats than I've ever got out of a cat. Would you let them inside and let them sleep on your bed? They'd be cleaner than the dog. Very clean creature.

It's a matter of time, Fletch. It's a matter of time. I'm thinking about getting them a bed. Right. Because you can buy dog beds. So I would just buy a large dog's bed. Where do they sleep currently? In their shed.

Okay. In their shed. On like hay or something? Yeah, on hay and sawdust. Right. That's enough. They're animals. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. Excuse me. And I've got another announcement to make. Okay. Over the long weekend, two sheep will be joining the Smith family. Oh my God. Stop it.

Two sheep. Do they have names? No, but I'm thinking we'll definitely have to like Barbara and Barry. No, because they're both women, so I'll need two. Oh, okay. Barbara and what's a bee name? Mary? Nah, you want a Barbara.

Belinda. Belinda. Belinda. Barbara. Belinda. Yeah, no, those work. I like those. Those are two well done. And even cuterinda. Barbara. Belinda. No, those work. I like those. Those are too well done.

And even cuter news, they're in lamb. What does that mean? They've got lambs in their belly growing. So they come wintertime, there's going to be little lambs. And then we can eat them. No. One day. No.

What did you just mouth? I certainly didn't mouth one day. No. What did you just mouth? I didn't. I certainly didn't mouth one day. Nah. You'd think of the three females, August would be with me for some shame. Don't get me wrong. But the other two, there's absolutely no way. Right?

Yeah. Right? No way. You just tell them they got out and escaped. And now tonight we're having chops. Sit on Auntie Lambrech. Be quiet. Yep. What a great podcast so far. and escaped. And now tonight, sit on anti-lamb rack. Be quiet.

Yep. What a great podcast so far. Wouldn't you agree, Fletch? Yes. And it's all thanks to Spark. Get one gig of bonus data with the Spark U25 pack. Now, back to the podcast. This is why.

Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. This has got. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. This has got me so jazzed.

So, this is a chocolate one. I'm not a massive fan of chocolate, but it's what they're putting with the chocolate that's got me super jazzed. Now, is this Australia or New Zealand? Australia. This is why we're fat. We take a look at new food items. Yeah. And normally they do start in Australia.

And then often they come here. Well, Arnott's is here, isn't it? We do have Arnott's. So you might remember I mentioned chocolate. Arnott's are doing cakes of chocolate that include their biscuits. So I can see Arnott's ginger nut cake of chocolate. Yeah. I can see Scotch Fingers. of chocolate Yep I can see scotch fingers

God, I love the scotch fingers so much Why do you love a scotch finger? It's a semi shortbread-ish It's like a shortbread-ish fingery And then you break it in half and it turns into fingers And you can get them with chocolate on it Which is next level And now you can just get the scotch finger in chocolate

It's an Australian produced shortbread biscuit. Okay. So the only difference is it's yet and it's, it's, it's catable in the fact that you can break it in long ways. There's wagon wheels. Do we have those? It's just like,

it looks kind of like an Oreo. Okay. And they've got one called an iced bobo, which is like a biscuit that's got like a berry. It looks like an iced bobo. Very safe though. You can crash an iced bobo. You'll walk away from it every time. It's like an iced Volvo Very safe though You can crash an iced Volvo You walk away from it

Every time It's like an icing A pink coconutty icing It's a wheat flour biscuit Topped with a strip of pink fondant Fondant Fondant Either side a strip of raspberry jam

And sprinkled with coconut This sounds like your alley This sounds like me Yeah And the last one I can see Is Jats Which is crackers Yeah it's a salty cracker It's a salty like water cracker So there you go You get your salt And your sweet like me, yeah. And the last one I can see is Jats, which is crackers?

Yeah, it's a salty cracker. It's a salty like water cracker. So there you go, you get your salt and your sweet and your... So it's like a big block of chocolate, but it's inside, it's like the biscuity fit.

Oh, yeah. I'm all about that. Ginger nut. Why have we not done that before? Putting ginger nuts in chocolate. It'll be a soggy ginger nut. Do you know how you get

those ginger nut fingers that have got chocolate? Mmm. Yeah. Mmm. Mmm. Okay, so that's happening in Australia. I was going to say, why don't they do it with some more exciting biscuits?

But all the other exciting biscuits actually contain chocolate. Right. So it would be... Other way around, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Fat. This is why.

Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. Megan has had carpal karaoke tunnel syndrome. It's where James Corden comes in.

Gets inside your wrist and makes it so you can't feel your fingers. But he's like funny and British and cute. Yeah, he's allowed. You let him away with it. Yeah. So you got given a brace. Basically, Megan said to us, oh, it's getting really bad when I'm doing my makeup. By the time I'm finished, I can't feel my fingers.

And we're like, what? Because I just thought I was sleeping funny on my hand. And when I wake up, it's really like numb. And then finish doing my makeup and I'm like dropping my mascara. A lot of office workers get calm, James Carpool Tunnel Syndrome. Carpool Tunnel. James Corden Syndrome. I forget what it's actually called, Carpool Tunnel,

because it's nerve, it's pinched nerves in your wrist. Yeah, pinched nerves in your wrist. Right. Essentially. So how have you got it? Because you work three hours a day. Four hours, five. When I renovated the cafe, I painted it for three days.

So you did actual work? Yeah. One small bit of manual labour and the body wasn't having it. It was like, what is this? No way. And yeah, it seems that like after that, it has never been right. Hasn't come right. So you had a wrist brace on. Yeah, so I bought this cute one

because it's like baby blue and it's what does it say? It's made for her by her, so it's made by women for women. I don't know what that means. Is there a hard bit in it?? It's made for her by her, so it's made by women for women. I don't know what that means. Is there a hard bit in it? Because it's like a wetsuit material. Somewhere in Southeast Asia, there's a woman chained to a sewing machine, Megan.

Oh, my God. Boy. Only the woman and that awful sweatshop factory are allowed to sew together. No, because I thought it was maybe a little bit chic, and it leaves room for, like, yeah, rings on your fingers. Because, like, a lot of them, like, cover your knuckles and stuff. But it was minimalist, so you could wear it with all your clothes. It didn't look that bad.

But now, did you go back to the specialist? I went to hand therapy yesterday. Like, remember when we were joking about this and what you actually do there and stuff? I had to do, like, all these little hand movements. It's where it starts off and all the hands are sitting in a circle and it goes, I'm Megan's hand. circle and it goes, I'm Megan's hand. And everyone's like, I'm Megan's hand.

And it's been three days since I had full feeling. We're here for you. How do they clap for each other? It's hard for me to do the talking because I can't feel my thumb anymore and that's my lower jaw. And all the other ones are like. Because they can't move their hands either. It's a lot of mumbling, a lot of clenched fists at the hand therapy group.

So what, do you have to wear this giant? So, yeah, I said to her yesterday when I went there with my cute chic one, I was like, I really don't like wearing this all the time because people, like, always make jokes about playing with yourself and stuff. So you have had that? Yeah, I've had that. Interesting. About four?

So not like all the time, but I've had about four comments of people being like, I'm playing with yourself too much. Weird, eh? The people do that. Yeah. And she laughed and said, well, I've got something great for you because we're going to have to change that one. It's not supportive enough.

I need to apparently stop moving my fingers as much. And so she walked around the corner carrying a box. Out of it came. Oh, my God. It's massive. It kind of looks like a sleeping bag for my hand. It looks like that. Exactly.

It looks like the hand group therapy team are going camping. And that's your hand sleeping bag for the sleepover in the tent. Can we please get some googly eye sew-ons from Spotlight? Stick them on there. So then you can say it's a finger puppet. Yeah. A sock puppet. It's so... Oh my God, A sock puppet. It's so...

Oh, my God, it's massive. It's called a smart glove. It's like giving your dog or a cat a cone. Yeah. It can't eat its stitches. Now if someone says, you've been playing with yourself too much, you'll be like,

yeah, I have to wear this to stop me doing it in public. Yeah. Can't do it discreetly with the sleeping bag over the whole hand. Can I? So that's really something. How long is this one for? This is until it gets better. How many hours a day do you have to have it in there?

Well, as often as I can. Do you want to feel better? Because we could take some calls. Like, what are those things that you wear on your shoulders? Jackets. Shoulder pads. When we went to the Goldie, I went to the toilet and I opened the door and there was a guy at the urinal.

Where is this going? And he was wearing a halo. Is that what you call them? A halo? Wait, was it screwed into his head? It was screwed into his head. Oh, my God. See, when you're describing those,

you know those things you wear on your shoulders but like you know those things that are screwed into your head yeah then i would have been like halo whoa and he was like weighing and trying to like wait so you opened the door on him wing no no it was at the urinal so it's like you couldn't even look down to see where you know you're coming before you start you have to be like oh please please don't be on my shoes bend over and how like right bend over. And how many times would you hit things with your feet? So I was just making the point that at least it's not a halo. Yeah. Or one of those scooters, those scooters you get for your legs.

Those leg scooters. Although I'd always love to. Oh, if I had a broken leg, I'd love one of those little scooters. I know, leg scooter. You keep that leg up and you scoot around. Could we make you feel better, Megan? And maybe you're listening now. Oh, 800 dials at M.

What's the stupidest contraption you've had to wear to get better? Oh, yes. Like the rehab contraption. Yeah. What did you have to wear for rehab or maybe after an accident or an operation to get better? Maybe it's Megan's sock puppet. What made you look like a wounded dog? Oh, 800 dials at M.

If you were a dog, I just would have put you down, by the way. You keep weighing inside. That would have been enough for us. Flesh Fauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. Megan, I guess we're getting you some sympathy because you're wearing a sock puppet for your carpal tunnel syndrome. And we're asking you this morning, the stupidest contraption you've had to wear to get better,

or the weirdest. Megan! Some text messages. When I was 15, I had to wear to get better. Or the weirdest. Megan! Some text messages. When I was 15, I had to wear half braces for six months because my teeth were stubborn. Not like top of my, not like half of my mouth, like the top half. Yeah. Half of my mouth as in the right front tooth to the back right molar.

Tied in, only on that side. You'd just put them right across, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you just do the... You'd just get some cosmeticky ones that's just there for the look of it to even it out. Kerry, what did you have to wear? A bright orange neck brace. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no. Like fluoro orange. Yeah, like fluoro orange. And it was right at the beginning of high school, so I hurt my neck at the end of the school holidays and started high school for six weeks with a bright orange neck brace. See Megan it could

be worse. Don't laugh! You're laughing! Did you get mocked? It was mortifying. Did they call you road cone? Look I had so many nicknames seriously and I was a real shy kid so it was just. I probably would have said something like, did Jetstar not let you have a few sick days with your broken neck?

Something like that. Always work a Jetstar reference into something orange. Or if it's orange, hey, Kerry, thank you for sharing. Dave, what did you have to wear after an accident? I'm going back a very long time ago when the technology wasn't too flash. They didn't have halos and things, and I bugged my neck as well when I was seven. So their answer to that was to wrap me in plaster cast from my waist all the way to the top of my head

and a little hole for my face and two little holes for my ears and my arms, and that was me for six months. Ah, you, for six months? You are kidding me. It was bloody funny. Dave! How did you shower?

You would have stunk to high hell after that. Oh, look, I would not want to have been around me. I would have been appalling. Are there photos, Dave? No, there's not. My mum had a box brownie, but never used it. Is that a camera thing, is it? Is it a camera thing?

I don't know. What about, like... Box brownie cameras, yeah. Did you have holes for, like, itches? What if you had a little... camera thing is it is it a camera i don't know what about like brownie cameras yeah did you have holes for like itches what have you had a little you could you could go in from the back mum had like an extended knitting needle you could go enough was there like holes um for pose and ways this to his waist yeah it was from my waist oh right okay it stopped at my waist because it literally i just bugged my neck so oh my god you'd still be growing right like even seven yeah yeah real quick like when it came off

oh look it would have been horrendous but to make it worse i'd actually been burned during the whole process i got all burned as well so there was new skin underneath so it was just all itchy it was horrible oh my god does that make you feel really bad excellent does that make you feel better all burnt as well, so there was new skin underneath, so it was just all itchy. It was horrible. Oh, my God. Now, does that make you feel better, Megan, because you've just got a sock popper? Thank you for sharing. Dave, some text messages. When I was a kid, a boy broke my arm by throwing a chair at me. Sounds like a great guy.

I had to have a cast, and I opted for a glow-in-the-dark one. It wasn't great when I went to school camp, and everyone said they could see me playing with myself, even though I wasn't, because it looked like a glow stick was going up and down. Don't stop tooting. Fletch, Vaughan, and Megan's Long Weekend Group Toot. Oh, it's here, New Zealand.

It is here. It is time for us to toot ahead of the long weekend. Now, to kick it off, we've got some very special guests joining us. Brianne Clint and the Venute. Good morning. Morning. Morning. I was just wondering if they have a success, do we put them on the honours board?

As their employees. Yeah, but there was no rules. There was no T's and C's to say they couldn't be on there. Okay, they can go on the honours board. Should they do the long weekend group toot and get tooted back in? They're employees. Yeah, but there was no rules. There was no T's and C's to say they couldn't be on there. Okay, they can go on the honours board. Should they do the Longleat King Group toot and get tooted back in? Now, Brian Clint, how is the horn on the Venute? Because we've heard that it might not be strong. We've got two options for you guys.

Do you either want the horn that sounds like the car's nearly dying or do you want the siren that's been attached to the vehicle? We'll give you a demo. We'll give you a demo of both. This is the original horn, so it sounds like this. And here's the siren. We can't long weekend group toot with the siren. It's not a long weekend group siren.

Okay. Okay. It's your choice. It's your choice. I reckon we can weekend group toot with the siren. It's not a long weekend group siren. Okay. Sorry. Okay. Well, it's your choice. It's your choice. I reckon we go for the toot. We stay in our tradition. We stay strong and we go for the toot.

It's a better horn than I expected. And we're not here to toot shame. No. No, no, no. Whereabouts are you at the moment, guys? So we're in Palmy and we're on Cook Street. We're just opposite the skate park. Okay.

Are your cars around? Okay, because this is the first toot. Is there traffic around? Palmy and we're on Cook Street. We're just opposite the skate park. Okay. Are you and I around? Okay, because this is the first toot. Is there traffic around? Yeah, it's a major intersection. I think we're going to have pretty good success here this morning. Okay, well for the very first long weekend group toot, Bree and Clint in the Venute.

Start. Here we go, guys! Here we go! Here we go, guys. Here we go. A fire engine. We're on the honours board. A fire engine. Was that a fire engine? That was three.

Yeah. No replies on the first two. It's the best kickoff we've ever had. You're only going on the honours board once. Oh, that feels good. It sounds like someone's broken into the venue. Yeah. I don't know if there'd be anything to steal.

All right. I think we're going to go first now to Auckland. Lucia, good morning. Hi, guys. Whereabouts in Auckland are you? To be honest, I'm not sure where the area is. I'm on my way to placement. So I'm unfamiliar with this area. You're in unfamiliar territory.

You don't know where you are. Alright, Lucky Lucia is the name we're going to put on the Honours Board should you get a toot back. So when you're ready, at that intersection, give us the long weekend group toot. Yeah. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Go. Oh, no.

Nothing. No. No. Auckland is in traffic. Unlucky Lucia. Thank you so much for trying. Okay. So only one from two at the moment.

Liv in Wellington. Good morning. Good morning. Lucky Liv I'm going to put down because I had that from Lu in Wellington. Good morning. Good morning. Lucky Liv I'm going to put down because I had that from Lucille before. It's a leftover nickname. I'm recycling that. You're recycling. Okay, Liv, whereabouts in Wellington are you? We are in the State Highway 1 heading into the city.

Okay, so there's traffic around. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group two. Okay. Lucky Liv's on the board. In Wellington, we've got our first. We're at the gates, ladies and gentlemen, and we're racing. Thank you very much. Lucky Liz. All right.

We're going to go now to Kayleigh. Kayleigh, we're about to send New Zealand to you this morning. Okay. I'm in Auckland, Green Lane area. Oh, okay. Green Lane's pretty busy. Are you Canadian, Kayleigh? I am.

There we go. Canadian Kayleigh's what's going on the board. That was great, actually. On the honours board. Yeah. If you can do this. Well, when you're ready, Kayleigh, give us a long weekend group two. Alright.

Yes! Straight out the gate! We're on! We're two for two. Canadian Kayleigh. Brilliant. Bridie in the Garden City Christchurch. Whereabouts are you in Christchurch? Hi. I'm on Brom Street at the moment. Br Kayleigh. Brilliant. Bridie in the Garden City Christchurch. We're about to see you in Christchurch. Hi.

I'm on Brougham Street at the moment. Brougham Street. All right. Let's make this. Your name, if you get it, is Hattrick Bridie because this is going to be three in a row. And we're lower three in a row. But what about alliteration? It doesn't always have to be alliteration, Megan.

Okay. Hattrick Bridie. Give us the long weekend. Stop tripping around me at the moment. Oh, hang on. I'm stopping at the lights now. Oh, okay. That's always handy.

Perfect. When you're ready. Okay. Go. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. Okay. Yeah!

Wind it up! She's got a hat trick! She's out the gate! Yeah, a little bit of a stumble there with the delivery, Brodie. Don't you two change it? Also, can I? I'm not with my hand. The spread we're having across New Zealand, beautiful.

Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, success across the board. Main Metro's Palmy. Yep, brilliant. Well, let's not put Palmy in the Main Metro's league, but that's a yes as well. Now, if you look at the Honours Board, Vaughan, do you remember last time there was Brittany on the Honours Board? It's Brittany Bitch.

I believe Brittany Bitch is back for... I am back. Round two. Alright. Round two, let's go. You will be our first name on the Honours Board twice, Brittany. No pressure. And you're still in Palmerston North?

You haven't left? I'm still in Palmerston North. Interesting. Fine. By choice or are you sort of held there against your will? I haven't made enough money to leave yet. I told you, everybody's got a plan. Okay, Brittany, when you're

ready, give us the long weekend group. Just quickly, where in Palmy are you? I'm on the corner of Ruahine and Main Street. So if you're ready, give us a long weekend group. Just quickly, where in Palmy are you? I'm on the corner of Ruahine and Main Street. So if you're listening, people, don't let me down. Okay. When you're ready, Brittany. Let's do it. Yes!

I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch!

I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch!

I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch!

I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch!

I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, bitch!

I'm trending, bitch! I'm trending, Paul. I'm dramatic, Paul. We've got two, baby. Yes. We are sitting at five successful toots out of six. This is our best odds yet. Okay, Sam's in Wellington. Whereabouts in Wellington, Sam? I'm just going onto the motorway from Johnsonville.

Oh, slippery Sam. Why is she slippery? She's got a plan. She's all slipping through traffic. Okay, well, that'll be your name on the honours board if you can doppery Sam. Why is she slippery? She's got a plan. She's all right. I just slipped through traffic. Okay, well, that'll be your name on the honours board if you can do this, Sam. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Okay, I'm just coming.

You find your spot. Find your spot, Sam. Oh. Yes! Yes! Yes! It was a dissing. It was a faint. But it was a two.

Yes. Sam, you're on the honours board. Yay! We're six. We're six in. Are we going to have a new long weekend group tour record of 11? Amelia, where in Auckland are you? Hi, I'm on Customs Street. Okay lots of traffic around

there. Yeah. Lots of traffic. Okay when you're ready Amelia give us the long weekend group two. Nothing. Oh Amelia. Oh my god that was like we were doing so well. Aucklanders are letting us down today. And it was a great tune as well. It was a one of, can I compliment you on your technique? Can we just one more time? Can we just try one more time? Do you think? Okay.

Okay. Okay. Left wanting. Left wanting. Left wanting. A swing. Absolutely left wanting. A swing and a miss. That was not you. That was not you.

Disappointing. Disappointing. Disappointing. Let's regroup. We're on six. That's right. That's what I'm going to do. We need to come back and beat our record of ten.

Let's get some oranges. Whose mum bought oranges this week? I need to go wheeze. Okay. It's a half-time break. We're back. Don't stop. We're back. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan's long weekend group toot. And it's a long weekend tradition.

It has been for eight or nine years. We bring the country together with the long weekend group toot. So we ask you if you're in traffic to give us the start of the long weekend group toot. And we ask you if you're in traffic to give us the start of the long weekend Group Toot. And we ask you if you're in traffic and you hear that, and it doesn't even matter if you don't hear it on the radio at any stage, just reply back with a... We are running a hot success rate this morning, six from eight. Six from eight.

And one of the people before, Amelia in downtown Auckland, when she tooted, somebody said they could hear it from her office, and they were yelling toot-toot back. Doesn't count. It doesn't count. No, it doesn't count. But it's appreciated. So to beat the record of 10, we need five more right now.

Otherwise, we're going to have to come back for Queen's birthday weekend and try then. Yes. So no pressure, New Zealand. We're going to go to Queenstown, and I believe, Jess, you're in Queenstown. We've never had a Queenstown long weekend group tour on the Honours Board before, so this could be a first. Yay, I hope so. Okay, now whereabouts in traffic are you? We have had a TR

now, so there might be a bit of competition there. Right, okay. I'm at two of the biggest roundabouts. One at, um, right now I'm near Hungry Jack's and, sorry, Burger King and BP. Okay, oh, I know the one. I know the one. Lots of traffic around there.

All right. When you're ready, give us the long weekend group toot. All right. No, come on, Queenstown. Nothing. Nothing. A foul from Queenstown. My goodness.

I'm so ashamed. Can I try again? Oh, there's no shame. Seven from nine. Are we going to let her have another go? I just... I think Queenstown's getting too much, to be honest. What have they got?

The lovely mountains. Oh, and they've got Fergburger. Oh, yeah. Too many tourists at the moment. Oh, look. Oh, no. Okay. All right.

Six from nine. Thank you, Jess. We go now to Jack in Auckland. Jack, good morning. Morning. Jack the Premium Gay. Ready with some two sports thank you hey babes hey babe all right jack now is it true jack that you've deliberately waited in traffic longer this morning absolutely i'm rerouted my whole like i'm 26 minutes late for work but i'm good i'm good okay all right we're about to love you all right whereabouts

are you in auckland jack i'm on the green lane on ramp okay this is a busy on ramp yeah okay very busy on right when you're ready jack give us a long weekend group two all right yes Yes! Yes! It was a tiny little pipip from what I'm guessing was a Japanese imported Honda. Hey, that Israel Folau, that's right, we've got it going. Brilliant. That is a big take. I'm feeling better now. We're back.

We're back seven from ten. Charlotte, good morning. We're about to see you in New Zealand. Oh, hi. We're in Auckland. Are you driving 100 kkm in a convertible? We were just in a tunnel Oh right, ooh okay

Give us a long weekend group too Okay, here we go Oh, sorry She sent it out and it did not return. Sorry, your technique was on point. That was a pretty good technique, Jack. Thank you for participating. Thank you for trying.

Tamara, we're about to you. I am coming up to Khyber Pass on Auckland motorway. Okay, so you're in Auckland as well. We've had a couple of letdowns from... Yeah. No, actually, we had Jack with success in Auckland. Auckland just let us down. Let's get Auckland back on the front foot.

When you're ready, Tamara. Here we go. Nothing. Let's not go to – I don't want to talk to Auckland. It's bad, bad, bad vibes. Bad judges. Bad judges. Naziah, you're in Christchurch?

Yeah. Okay, whereabouts in Christchurch? Yeah. Okay, whereabouts in Christchurch right now? Waterloo Road. Waterloo Road. Okay, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toad. Bring it back. Watch the video. When you're ready.

What happened? What happened? What happened? Because we just had this weird phone block. We didn't hear anything here in the studio. Was there a reply? No. Oh, no. Oh, no.

What's happening? I don't know if we're going strong. I don't know if we're going strong. Did we fancy ourselves as too successful in New Zealand? Always backs the underdog. Yeah. Is that what happened? They wanted to cut us down a bit. Yeah. We're tall strong. I don't know if we're going to break. Did we fancy ourselves as too successful in New Zealand always backs the underdog? Yeah. Is that what happened? They wanted to cut us down a bit.

Yeah, we're tall poppy syndrome. They're doing too well. I won't reply. Abby in Wellington, we're about to you. I'm going down the gorge. You're going down the gorge. All right. If you get it on there, you're bringing it back, Abby, okay?

That's going to be your name on the board if you get a successful take down there. Bring it back, Abby. All right. Okay. When you're ready, Abby. Alright. Everyone listens to Talkback, I swear. That was such a...

What's happened? I don't know, there's just no one around. I think I know the guy next to me as well. The wheels have fallen off. It sounded like just as you tooted, a car went past really fast. It's not good in fast traffic. It's got to be slow moving. No, you've got to be slow moving. I'd say, Abby, thank you for trying.

Phoebe in Hamilton, good morning. Good morning. Okay, look, we really need to bring this back, Phoebe. We just need one. Oh, hi. Whereabouts in Hamilton are you, Phoebe? I'm at a huge roundabout on Northam Road and Rifle Range. Hold your horses!

This is Huia's roundabout. This is the famous Huia roundabout. This is the famed roundabout. Okay, do it. Get into it, Phoebe. Are you ready? Come on! Oh my god! To be fair, Huia had to do it twice remember?

Huia had to go around, it might be the magic. Pass! I can't believe it. Phoebe, when you're ready, give it to her. Go around again Phoebe. Okay, ready? Yeah. Um, okay hang on. Oh my god, someone's beat me But I was like going too fast

And I just left around the bell Oh no, oh no Phoebe, Phoebe I don't know what's happening I don't even know where we're at We're sitting at seven We started so strong We were at six from eight at the start of this break

Now we're at about seven from fourteen We were talking a big game We were at half I know We were talking about game. I know, I know. What happened to our halftime chat? Good morning, Katie. We're about to you. We've gone the Warriors on this.

We're going to strike first half. Our wheels have fallen off. You're in Petone, Katie? Yep. Okay, give us a long weekend group talk. Okay, will do. Here we go. Oh, no, nothing Oh God

Vaughn's starting to get really grumpy Vaughn is starting to get really grumpy and upset We can't finish this We've got to finish on a high Amy, I thought we'd crack 10 I know, it's okay It's not okay Seven, we've stalled at seven.

It's not okay. It's not. This is my lucky number, but I feel like I'm lucky now. Amy, you're in tow. Don't worry about us. Are you right now? I am travelling down Fraser Street. Okay.

I don't think we're going to beat the record today because we've run out of time, but we've got to finish on a high, Amy. It's okay, mate. Come on. We've still got seven. high, Amy. It's okay, mate. Come on. We've still got seven. That was good. It's a good result. Amy, give us a long weekend group turn. Okay. We're done here.

We're done here. Pack it in. We're done here. Pack our bags. Pack our bags. We're done here. Thanks, Amy. Pack it in. We're done here. Pack our bags. One more. Thank you, Amy. Pack our bags. We're done here. No.

Seven. Hey, don't sulk. Don't sulk. We're not getting any further. Don't sulk. One more. One more. We're lucky last.

Come on. Sarah, good morning. It's Christchurch. Hi. How are you going? We're good. Well, Megan and I are fine, but Vaughn's starting to sulk. No, I've got faith.

Yeah. Whereabouts in Christchurch, Sarah? Believ. Okay, Believ. It's busy. Oh, it's busy. It. No, I've got faith. Yeah. Whereabouts in Christchurch, Sarah? Believ. Okay, Believ. It's busy. Oh, it's busy. It's Believ. It's busy.

Okay. Sarah, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yeah. Just can't hear your horn, Sarah. I can hear it.

Did you wind your window down? Did you wind your window down? Yes, your window down yes i did you've got to really quick we didn't hear your two so go one more time and do it so we can hear your two okay all right Oh, now there's nothing. Oh, my God. Vaughan's on the floor. Are you all right down there, mate? You're sulking. I am not. I'm not. Happy is sulking.

I'm going to be broadcasting from the floor for the rest of the day. You are so like August. Oh, the first one was good. Yeah, it was. Thank you so much for trying there, Sarah. Thank you, New Zealand. Wow. Oh, are you actually leaving it there? Don't think so. Oh, are first one was good. Yeah, it was. Thank you so much for trying there, Sarah. Thank you, New Zealand. Wow. Are we actually leaving it there?

Don't think so. Oh, we actually. No, catch it at producer's booth. I've done nothing. Producer Caitlin. I'm angry with New Zealand. I think we should just end it here. I don't want to.

I'm sad with New Zealand. My whole family is sitting here, like, wanting me to, like, achieve. What is everyone in the producer's booth? One more? Keep going. I don't want to go. I want to achieve. What is everyone in the producer's booth? One more? I want to go. I want to stop. One more. In Napier, Christy, good morning. Good morning.

Now, look. Why do you sound so happy? We're going to bring it back. Are you? Okay, well, whereabouts in Napier are you, Christy? We're at the roundabout on Hyde Bad Road and Caradale Road. Okay. All right.

When you're ready. Vaughan, be positive. Okay, Christy. Yes, be positive, Vaughan. Here we go. Here we go. Yes! Yes!

Yes! There was a phase two. Come on, Vaughan. Christy did it. Napier. Vaughan had little faith. I've rolled on my side. I'm slightly happier than I was before.

Yeah, well, with you, I apologize to Christy. That's only eight. Hey, but you know what? Eight, even back in the day, eight's a good one. Eight was good in 2014, and we've come a long way. Thank you, Christy. Thank you, New Zealand, for've come a long way. Thank you, Chrissy. Thank you, New Zealand, for participating for the long weekend. Drive safe over the long Easter break.

Someone get me a pillow. And the long weekend group tour will be back at the end of May for Queen's birthday weekend. And I'll tell you what, Vaughan. They better buck up their ideas. We've got... Caitlin is saying that Megan is waiting in the wings. I'm only getting up if Megan gets a successful one.

Megan's on the North Shore of Auckland. Good morning, Megan. Hi. I just started wrapping up, but apparently we're going to try one more time with you. Okay. When you're ready. Okay.

All right. When you're ready. Megan. We're ready. Yeah, I don't know why we tried again. Good one, Megan. One more time, one more time. I'm right here in traffic. Okay.

Shit. Just sums up to that. Yes, yes, yes, come here. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Just sums up today.

Yes! 9, Seaborn. It was like they were playing a different game. Were they listening on iHeartRadio with a 30-second delay or something? They may have been. Well, now we're at 9. It seems like we've got to go for 10. Oh, shit. I'm back, baby. One more. Come on now we're at nine. It seems like we've got to go for ten. Oh, shit.

I'm back, baby. One more. Come on. We're so late. Woo! We're so late. Let's break some rules and some records. All we've got to get is two more, and we've set a new record.

Oh, my God. I'm back. I do like that. Sorry about that, guys. I went through a little bit of a dip. I went through a bit of a dip. It was hard work. Highs and lows.

Highs and lows. Okay, Gareth. Oh, my God. I'm seeing as the record is in reach. Give us a little bit of a dip. I went through a bit. It was hard work. Okay, Gareth. Oh, my God. Seeing as the record is in reach, give us a long weekend. We've got to do this. Yeah, whereabouts in Wellington are you? I'm just by the Westpac Stadium. Okay, Gareth. Okay, that's busy.

Give us a long weekend, group two, Gareth. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Gareth, I'm't think it's meant to be. I don't think it's meant to be. Call it. We're not breaking the record this time,

but we do have nine group toots, which is successful. We've got something to work towards next time. The CEO's here, Vaughan. I'm just saying this is our second. This is our... Oh, Bobsy, I'm sorry for this. Let everybody down, haven't I? You have let everybody...

Hey, but you know what? Nine on the honours board is... It's our second best effort. It's our second best effort ever. And we're going to come back for Queen's birthday. Yeah, it means we've got something to work towards. I'm just saying, buck your ideas up. All right?

Okay. I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. And I'm angry. I lied before when I said I wasn't angry. You are. I am angry. Feedback, read the long weekend group toot.

We've fallen short of the world record of 11 toots. Everyone just wanted one more. Why? No, but that's something you're always chasing. Sitting at a silver middle at nine. Someone has brought up a point. You mocked Parmy Vaughan. They were two for two. Yeah. No, they did. They delivered, I tell you what.

Yeah, they did, actually. Brittany, she went back to back, and she will be our first jewel placement on the honours board. Hamilton, Queensland are letting us down as well. But you know what? We can bring it back. May is our next long weekend. Queen's birthday.

Queen's birthday. So this is where sort of when a team loses, they come up with a whole bunch of excuses. School holidays. So of course traffic's a little bit lighter than usual. And we've still got nine. That'll be it. That'll be it. That'll be it.

That'll be it. How many people listen to our show? Per capita? Yeah. Of cars on the road? Oh, we did really well. I think we did even better. Well, if we're making up excuses.

Well, no, I've got another excuse. Oh, okay. The Labour government. It's just Cedars' fault. They're putting too much money into public transport. And so more people are taking transport and not sitting in traffic for us. Good call, good call. Bloody communists.

Well, if we're making up excuses, it must be time for... Fact of the Day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day, quick one, about Japanese vending machines. Oh, okay. Not a dirty one because you can get anything out of a vending machine in Japan, but Japan as a country has a few natural disasters. I did that, didn't I? Yep.

And that's two this week. That's two on the list. Well, I only said one of them. The other one was just playing on a Spotify background. Two on the list for the BSA. Japanese as a country has a history of natural disasters. Yeah. They've had earthquakes. They've had tsunamis.

They're on a very active fault line. I only said the other day Fukushima was nine years ago. Oh, my God. Yeah, 2011. Isn't that crazy?ushima was nine years ago. Oh, my God. Yeah, 2011. Isn't that crazy? That was nine years ago. And only like 80,000 years to go until it's not nuclear anymore. So that's pretty great.

If anybody else is ticking off the dice. Yeah. In Japan, vending machines will dispense free water when a state of emergency is declared. Oh, okay. So there's a disaster because you know how they communicate, vending machines communicate

to say we need more Coke Zero. Yep. And so they're like, well, we need that many Coke Zeros. Yep. They will be sent a message to say dispense free water, not free Coke Zeros.

Oh, because I was going to say, could I just walk up to a machine and be like, there's been a disaster, can I have a Coke Zero? Dispense me a Coke Zero. It's an emergency. E9, bag of nuts.

No, it won't work. It'll only dispense water. Right. But I mean, if it's a disaster, tip the thing over, smash the front glass and grab whatever you want. I mean, it was the earthquake that did it, right? Yeah, yeah. No, there's security footage of you doing it.

I don't believe that. I just walked past it and held on to it as the earthquake hit. Eight minutes after the earthquake hit. So today's fact of the day is in Japan, vending machines will dispense free water

in the case of a disaster. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. I've got a little question. Okay. This is a question I want. I thought of this last night and I was like, whoa, whoa.

Where were you when you thought of it? Outside looking at the starry night sky. Okay. So this is going to be quite philosophical. Well, it is, but I don't think the answer lies with the great minds of our time. I think the answer probably is beautiful in its simplicity. It's probably just sitting in the head of a 12-year-old boy. Okay. It's in there.

The answer's out there somewhere in an innocent mind. One uncorrupted by, you know, entangled thoughts of high complexities. I know. Okay. And it's something I want everybody to think about over the weekend. Okay. Why in December does everybody get photos with Santa but you never see anybody having a photo with the Easter Bunny.