ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 20 2018

Episode Date: April 19, 2018

Host of Survivor NZ season 2 - Matt Chisholm is on the show, Friday Flashback and where did you "accidentally" park?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Capture life like never before with the Samsung Galaxy S9. I told you you should have done it, Megan. No, I tell you, that was great. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, Friday morning. Meg, one of us is a little sick. She's been going on about it this morning.

Have you heard this? I think you guys gave it to me. At least when we were sick, we just dealt with it and didn't mention it. I think I got both your cooties. You get jammed in this little Petri dish with the both of you. Then you give it to me. Oh, we weren't all like this, though. I've got the very big gold.

Excuse me. When you're sick, you're like, you gave me your sick. Do we all remember Ward's croaky voice? Yeah, but that was, I couldn't help that.

Just blow your nose and get on with it. I don't have a blocked nose. How do you not have a blocked nose? It sounds like you've got a blocked nose. That's the air

coming out my nose. No, it's my throat. It's all about you. Oh, that wasn't what we had, was it? Oh, no, mine was all in the throat. Oh, was it? The movie when I spat in Megan's mouth.

Gross. Gross. I hate knowing it's germs from someone else. That's so gross. Well, all germs are from somebody else. Yeah, but when it's directly related, you know, like knowing I got this directly from you is just gross. You're welcome.

Slowly trying to make your immune system. I'm not hearing a lot of thanks here just gross. You're welcome. Slowly trying to make your immune system. I'm not hearing a lot of thanks here. No. You're making her stronger. Yeah, I've basically given her an immunisation. Yeah, okay. Without the needle. Sick for the weekend.

So you are most welcome. You are most welcome. Oh, you're just in time for the weekend. Yeah, great. Yeah, that's right. Thank you. Hmm. All right, you lot.

Listen up. It's story time. Three headlines for three interesting, bizarre, unusual, quirky news stories. Morning, Megan. You must pick one story, one headline. Headline one, and you thought you were hungry. Headline two, trainee blamed. And headline three, trip to laundromat a blast.

Oh, good headlights. Okay, so trip to laundromat, something that was in a pocket caused an explosion in the dryer? No. Okay. Not in a pocket. I just really like that hang light. And you thought you were hungry.

And you thought, yeah, yeah. Not in a pocket. I just really like that hang light. And you thought you were hungry. And you thought, yeah. Yeah. That's really good. It'll still make you feel about the next time you're hungry. Okay. It's not a lolz story. Oh, is it not? Oh, no.

Who got eaten? A person? I don't want a person getting eaten. No. Nobody has been eaten but a 25-year-old, Alex Brown. She lives with a recond condition that causes constant hunger. Yeah, I think I've got it too, but carry on. No, I'll hear you out.

So she has a condition that is similar to, I think it's called Prada-Willi syndrome, an incurable genetic disorder which causes overeating and often leads to morbid obesity. So she never feels satisfied after eating. I think I saw a documentary where a kid had this. Yeah, so you know where you've got that feeling of, I'm so hungry. So she could literally go to a buffet and then still feels that hunger.

Does she ever reach the point of fullness where she actually experiences physical pain? Because if I eat heaps, you're actually a bit like because there's literally only so much food that would physically fit in your stomach and it's not the feeling of being full it's the feeling of literally being not satisfied you know I mean like that mental you're hungry yeah and you're like oh man I'm hungry and then you're like, oh man, I'm hungry, and then you're satisfied. It's actually physically, God, there's too much in there. Well, what she has said is that when she was growing up and a teenager at home,

her parents would have to lock the fridge, like actually installed a lock on the fridge. That would be awful. Yeah, and she'd wake up, she'd have to drive to a fast food place because she'd wake up at 5.30 in the morning feeling like she hadn't eaten for days, and she'd have to do something about it. And obviously it's been quite a struggle.

Surely there's some medication for this. Surely there's a blocker. I don't know. In that area of the brain. I mean, that would be a diet pill effectively, wouldn't it? A pill that would make you stop feeling hungry. Well, yeah, it would. But yeah, she said that not only was her fridge locked, the garage, the pantry,

because they didn't want her leaving the garage in the car. So that would be locked as well. Can't you just constantly be hangry? Yeah. Oh, no, could you imagine me? Because I get real hangry. You'd be awful. I'd put you down.

I'd take you to the vet and I'd say, I don't know what you do to a Labrador, but give him twice that because he's a bit bigger than a Labrador but give him twice that because he's a bit bigger than a Labrador just need constant sedation yeah just to pop me out for the day

so right so she's she just talking about her case well yeah so she started recently started speaking out in a bid

to raise awareness about her condition and help others that might have PWS as it's called sort of stats on how many people this affects? Because generally a medical story has one of those,

this affects 1 in 10,000 or 1 in 100,000. Yeah, so it affects 1 in 15,000 babies in the US. Which is quite a bit, isn't it? That's quite a bit! Yeah, so it's caused by a defect in the paternal gene in chromosome 15, which disrupts the function of the...

So it's a genetic... Simmer, simmer, simmer. And the release of hormones. So that's something to think about when you see someone who is, you know, obese. It's like, you know, there's a lot of judgment passed around, but that's literally a genetic disorder that she's suffering from.

Well, yeah, exactly. She can't help it. She can't help it. You'd do the same if you felt hungry... All the time....every hour of it. She can't help it. You do the same if you felt hungry. All the time. Every hour of the day. And she does exercise. She does activity every day.

But it's literally, if you're putting in calories way more than you're expending. You're working out all the time. You're going to put weight on, aren't you? And it must be hard going for a run when you're starving. You know? Oh, yeah. I don't find it hard to do anything. I tell you what, playing video games is good because it takes your mind off of it.

Oh, yeah, you'd just be on Fortnite. There'd be a lot of Fortnite. Your wife would have to roll you up the stairs. Or get one of those special seats Ella Liff's put in. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nah, she wouldn't do that. I just...

You'd have the downstairs room. Wouldn't be allowed upstairs, yeah. Yeah. The Prime Minister has met the Queen. I'm just looking at photos. And that guy from C4? Fisherman. Fisherman Clark Gapin.

First boyfriend has met the Queen. Seeing the photo of all three of them, she's tiny AF. The Queen? Yeah. She's a little old lady. Old ladies shrink, don't they? They do. Like when you put a T-shirt in the dryer for too long.

So she's 5'3". 5'3.5". She's a metre 63. Is that current height or where she started? That's what it's listed as on her Wikipedia. Do you know, Jacinda's a couple of days early. If she'd met her in two more days, it would have been her 92nd birthday.

On the 21st of April. And still going. Yeah, but, you know, another day, another half a day in England. Yeah, 92. So, you know, one of the big news stories earlier this week was a woman was partially sucked out of a plane, a Southwest plane in America. She died.

From blood force trauma? Yeah. And apparently, like, since it's happened, like, people have said there's really not much that could have been done to save her. Like, because you get sucked out of a plane, it's going, like, 600 kilometres. It's minus 50.

And mad pressure differences. Yeah. And she was wearing a seatbelt, too, because we were like, that's why you should always wear a seatbelt. She was wearing it. That's how full of the pressure was. It sucked her out of her seatbelt.

Yeah. God, because I wear my seatbelt, but it's never tight. Like, it's always a little, there's always a bit of room for jiggle. Because you don't want it to, okay, so I'm probably going to have to maybe tighten it a bit more. But one thing that has come out, and even safety experts here in New Zealand have noticed this, but passengers were taking selfies and videos while everybody was wearing their oxygen. On that same flight? Yeah.

There was a guy. No, because, you know, there was in-flight Wi-Fi. People were sending videos to their loved ones saying, hey, look, if I don't make it, love you. Oh, my God. Imagine getting one of those. Yeah. Sorry I didn't do sack the dishwasher. But, you know, might not make it home.

That kind of thing. Yeah. Everybody in the photo on the plane was wearing their oxygen mask wrong. Yeah. So they're like, pay attention to the safety message. And we're like, we know. We've seen it a million times.

I saw the photo because a friend who's an in-flight hostess. Yep. Always struggled to stay. Flight attendant. That's what it is. That's what I've got to remember. They are, they said, everyone always tells us

we don't need to watch the safety briefing. We've seen it a thousand times. We know what to do. And then everyone just had it all wrong just over the mouth, not the mouth and the nose.

You've got to do mouth and nose. But those things were so tiny. I don't know if they'd fit over my nose and my mouth. My nose and mouth cover quite a large area. No, but people were putting it like under your chin,

like above, like below your nose and under your chin. Like a chin strap. If you lifted it up so it's sitting just below your bottom lip, it would fit. Right. It's not a snug fit, but it's there. Someone must have put it on and everyone must have looked around and been like, oh, okay.

You know how regular flyers have their own noise-cancelling headphones, but they also have that adapter that means they can plug into the in-flight system? Yep. Do you think there's any regular flyers that have an oxygen mask perfectly made for them? No. No. Beautifully. And should the thing drop, they're like, oh, thanks, but I bought my own.

Like one of those real, like a fighter pilot one that you strap on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tan leather. Yes. Oh, lovely. Oh, I was thinking like a cute pink one

by Karen Walker or something. I mean, I'm going to be like, click. Yeah, I'm ready for the emergency. Tell me when we're going to die. But yeah,

that is something to remember. It goes over the mouth and the nose. Both breathy holes goes over the mouth and the nose. Both breathy holes. Yeah, both breathy holes. So a stylist in Australia, so knows what they're talking about with clothes, has listed four things you should never ever wear to work.

You've already broken rule number one, both of you. Hats. Oh no, there's no mention of hats in here. Oh no of you. Hats. Oh, no. There's no mention of hats in here. That's not professional. T-shirts. Kind of. Anything that looks like you've put zero effort in.

Effort. Bitch, I tied my shoelaces this morning. That takes effort. Yeah. Even after knowing how to do it for 30 years. Every morning I have to think, pull that tight, pull that tight. Like you could have worn slip-ons. I could have worn.

I would love some slip-ons. I know you would. I would absolutely love some slip-ons. Chucks is such a mission in the morning to get on, eh? I've got those big boots that I wear and I love them because they are slip-ons. I love them. No laces involved. But it's just too...

It's not quite cold enough for the big boot yet. Have you ever worn chucks and then gone clothes shopping for like jeans? Oh, you're like, what have I done? I love your... Yeah. What have I done? Yeah. So anything that is unironed, anything that's like dragging on the ground, scuffed up shoes,

track pants, anything that looks like you've put no effort in. You judge people straight away based on their personal appearance. Right. And if you want to be professional and get somewhere in your workplace. We don't need to try. We're here. There's nowhere for us to go. There's nowhere for us to go apart from down here. We're definitely not going into management.

Number two is jeggings. I didn't know that these were still a thing. Do you think they mean active wear? What constituted jeggings over tights? I that these were still a thing. Do you think they mean active wear? What constituted jeggings over tights? I thought they were like jean leggings. So they were definitively leggings that had a denim-esque pattern to them.

Well, here she said unless you work at Lord of Jane and that's like a fancy active wear place. So I'm guessing she means active wear. It's not appropriate for a workplace. But then some active wear has become quite, like people will go out in active wear, won't they?

Yeah, but it's not really professional. But then some workplaces kind of could work. Well, if you have an active workplace, I'm sure it's fine. Do people who have a casual Friday, which is a weird concept, like having to be quiet at work, also a weird concept. But casual Friday, which is a weird concept, like having to be quiet at work, also a weird concept,

but casual Friday people, would anybody rock an active wear on a casual Friday? Or is it too casual? Maybe too casual for a formal office. So if you had some nice new Lorna Jane leggings to wear. Those are spinnies. Because you wouldn't want

your legal clients coming in and you're in your active wear. Yeah, that's true. Not a good look, is it? Doing some stretches. Do they mean those stretchy, have you seen those stretchy jeans that are on the infomercials? Are those jeggings?

Yeah, the jean leggings. Jean leggings. Maybe they mean those. Yeah, like, it looks like it's got pockets, but there's no pockets. Which is awful. It's just printed on. Because pockets are the most handy part about jeans.

Yeah. Everyone can see that they're printed on, pockets. Anything that doesn't fit properly, like if your clothes are too tight, they're going to crease fast. You'll see undies, VPL, anything that's too loose, you look like a slob. And finally, the wrong undies. It's important to wear comfortable, like the right fit is. So you're not playing with them all the time? Undies, yeah.

Because it looks like you're playing with yourself if you're constantly doing the adjust. You're constantly like, I shouldn't have worn my G. Yeah. And you're picking it out. Working right. You do that. Paul does that sometimes.

I have to, I don't know what it is, but they work their way up my legs and then I just have to. You wear a G string. No. Just normal undies. Sorry, we should have put a pause or a full stop between the G string chat. But every now and undies. Sorry, we should have put a pause or a full stop between the G-string chat. But every now and then I just need to pull the legs down because they are encroaching

on the line. Literally sometimes you'll unbutton your pants. Yeah, no, I got told the other day by somebody who I don't know that apparently works here that I should perhaps do my pants up before leaving the toilets. Because I always leave the toilet. I walk out of the toilets with my pants on and I start doing them up. Do you do the opposite when you walk in? Oh, yeah.

One time I had it out as I went in the door and the cleaner was in there and she caught it. She caught an eyeful. Wow. I mean, half an eyelid. Rate yourself. Yeah, I wouldn't call my penis an eyeful. Maybe an eyesore.

But, yeah, on the way out, because at peak times, you come out of the toilet and everyone's waiting for the lift. Oh, yeah, there could be like 20, 30 people there. And someone was like, hey, maybe you should do your pants up before you come out of the toilet. Yeah. And I was like, ha, ha. Oh, what?

You need to buy like elastic-y, more like tight-fitting undies that are like, because if you get the cotton ones, that's when they bunch up. The thick cotton ones? Oh, no. Not a fan. I think it's just because I sit and I man-spread. Oh, yeah, right.

And then when I put my legs back together, they stay where they were during the man-spread. Quite a bunch. It's not the undies' fault. It's all on me. It's all you. It's my poor undie-wearing technique. Right.

Today is Poppy Day. Yes, because Anzac Day is on technique. Right. FEM. Today is Poppy Day. Yes, because Anzac Day is on Wednesday. Correct. Anzac Day is next Wednesday. So they always do the Friday street appeal where they go around and they sell the poppies. And as always, as an active member of the RSA, the national, but I am joining my local. More on that later in the show. Only because it's cheap booze and stuff, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. And? And's cheap. Booze and stuff, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Sure. And? And great food, great company. And later in the show, I'll tell you why

it's also a great place. Right. But it's good because you get like this great place to eat and drink, but you're supporting the RSA. 100%.

Yeah, right. 100%. So, it's Anzac Day and next Wednesday, Poppy Day today. My wife sent me a photo of an egg Watch how these two get wound together How is this anything I know they seem very very different

But you may remember on the show I said recently about eggs As they laser print on them Where they came from And a number So you can check into these farms And make sure that the chickens are okay We joked about the chickens having

on their head. I must be buying my eggs. Why? Because I buy either free range or cage free. That's good, eh? Yeah. But I don't have anything written on my eggs. Do you buy like those, do you buy bulk like a tray? No, I'm a big fan of buying in the tray

but where the hell do you put that many eggs? We don't have the room in the fridge because there's all the other food. Do you use that special egg tray that comes with the fridge that's built in? Yeah. I don't like that. I've taken them all out. Because I like to leave them in the carton. I was a fan of that.

I don't like that thing. Yeah, no, I don't like that thing. My wife's anti-eggs in fridge. So when we buy them them I take six eggs And put them in the fridge And she keeps six in the cupboard Something we've agreed to disagree on But it's good for baking though

To have a room temp here Yeah it is Yeah because the energy's not required To heat the egg Is that a Good chat So I don't think that's it

Better for the chemistry And the The mixing yeah Oh is it yeah Because the It doesn't matter The energy's required to warm it up before it can bond properly. No, it's about in the bowl when you're mixing it together. Is it?

Yeah. I always thought it was to bring it up to room temp. Mate, it's going in a 230 degree oven. I don't think it matters how cold the egg was. Yeah, but stuff starts happening before the egg joins in. I don't know. It's like arriving to a party late and everybody's tanked and they're like, ketchup. And you're like, I'm never going to ketchup

I'm going to die before I ketchup I've been in the fridge for four weeks Yeah sorry guys I've just been cold You've all been in here in the warmth Anyway she sends me a photo of an egg And the egg has less we forget printed on it Look Oh that's a bit too much

Is that okay? I don't know Because I and I always find it awkward around this time of the year because companies on Anzac Day and brands crowbar in these Instagram ads and they're like, lest we forget. And then they've got their logo and a poppy. And then they're like, we've got a 50% off sale. We'll be open from two today.

And you're like, no. This isn't a day for profit. No. This isn't Christmas. Which we've all happily accepted as primarily for shopping and sales and profiteering. We accept that for Christmas, but I don't know about that for Anzac

Day. It's a bit different Anzac Day, I think. No, but it's still the positive message, lest we forget. Yeah, and they're not saying like, lest we forget, keep this egg for 20% off your next eggs. Like that sort of thing, lest we forget, keep this egg for 20% off your next eggs. Like that sort of thing. Lest we forget, Omega-3s and other beneficial...

Lest we forget, you won't forget with the assistance of Omega-6. No, which you'll find in this egg. It doesn't say that. But I don't know, that still made me feel a bit weird, having lest we forget printed on an egg. Why, because then you crack it and use it. Well, I know lest we forget the people that gave their lives so that, you know, we can enjoy the life

that we are enjoying now. Or eggs of mixed grades in English. Or as at least we forget the chicken that sacrificed its life so we can enjoy

this delicious egg. Like, because this could have been... It didn't lay an egg and die. No, no, this could have been a fertilized egg. They just...

The only difference between this and a chicken is time and rooster. Rooster action. Yeah. Yeah. Because this wasn't fertilized. I just think it's weird seeing writing on an egg. That's where I'm at. Like, it's just, stop it.

It's an egg. No, it's a mini billboard. Nature didn't intend you to make that a billboard. It's mini billboard space. See, I think it should be used for more egg pans, like egg-cellent, egg-cellent choice on this egg. There's mini billboard space. I think it should be used for more egg pans, like egg-cellent, egg-cellent choice on this egg. Have an egg-cellent day.

Yeah, that sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Today's going to be a cracker. Yeah, you want to hear a yolk? Or just put jokes on them, like the chippy eggs. Chicken jokes.

Yeah, yeah. You wide the chicken across the road. But then it makes you think about the chicken, doesn't it, that laid that egg? Yeah. Maybe not in a good place.

Is it a space for marketing for our show? Always looking for new ideas. If you're enjoying this egg, at breakfast time, on a weekday, very specific, we're getting quite wordy now, why not tune in to Fletchwater Maganon's egg? Okay, that's going to take up the whole egg. That... Yeah.

You like eggs? I know where you can find three of them on the radio. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. So proposed it is that there will be a wine fountain in Marlborough. One of New

Zealand's finest winemaking regions. Are they known for a pinot? A good pinot, Marlborough? I want to say salve. Yeah, I think it's called a white. Yeah. Isn't it, a Marlborough?

Salve, I think so. Oh, because it's more your central Otago does a good pinot, doesn't it? Yeah, that's what I like. That shisty soil underneath. Oh, yeah. A little red. Have a glass of red. They're saying they want to put it in there.

Spain and Italy do this. What's that walking track? Camino Trail. That's it. On the Camino, there's one. So apparently on the Camino. On a walking track. Yeah, on the Camino Trail, you walk up to this place.

I think it's an old monastery that also made wine. And I think they put 150 litres of wine in this tap a day. And you can go out and turn it and fill your bottle up for free. But you have to walk to it. Well, a friend of ours, Zach, did it, didn't he? Did the commando trail. And it's like days and days of like 10km a day. It's not you don't drive your car up and fill up your flagon like in the old days.

Of course, there had to be a catch. Yeah, a bit of walk. But the thing is, these wine fountains in Europe, they don't have the binge drinking culture that we do here. No. We'd be filling up in our, you know, in our... Everything. One of those big, like, five-litre...

Petrol containers. Petrol containers. Jerry cans. Jerry cans. We'd buy a brand new Jerry can, and it would go in the garage beside the one with petrol, diesel, and 50 to 1 ratio oil for the lawnmower. And beside that would be the wine, Gerry.

It would last a week and it would be dry. And they wouldn't fill it up. You have to have a bouncer there. In New Zealand you would. In Spain, apparently, you don't. There'd be a whole lot of issues. And it would probably be in the centre of town, which

wouldn't work either. No. Because everyone would just go by and put their lips straight on the thing. So, I don't know. There needs to be... Take this to a think tank. Take this to a think tank. But in the meantime,

the total six other things that need to be coming out of fountains in New Zealand. Because I think it's against these legs. Yeah. It just needs to be looked into. Number six, regional beers. So, Spates in Dunedin. Yep. Canterbury Draft in Christchurch. Yep. Sorry about that, but that's your regional beers. So Spates in Dunedin. Yep.

Canterbury Draft in Christchurch. Yep. Sorry about that, but that's your original beer. Tuohy in Wellington. Yep. Waikato Beer in Hamilton. And Steinlager Classic in Auckland? Or Lion Red?

Steinlager Pure. Lion Red. No, no, no. They don't get Steinlager Pure. No one's getting Top End beers. These are all stock standards. Because I pure. No, no, no. They don't get stung like a pure. No one's getting top end beers. These are all... Yeah, stock standards. Because I thought about going craft beers

because this country's got some wonderful regional craft beers. Yeah. But they're not going to nose out of a fountain. No. That's the same problem, though, with the wine. Everyone would go lips to fountain. Wouldn't it go flat, though? The beers.

Yeah. Oh, it would be more like a keg than a fountain. You'd have to pull the... Okay. Pull the... And then you could laugh at the person that pulls it wrong and gets it a big head on the glass. Yeah, right.

Or something. Number five on the list, tomato sauce. Oh, I'm down for that. From Hawke's Bay's Wadi Factory. Do you know, imagine if you had a tomato sauce fountain at like Mission Bay. Like at beaches. Oh, you could do it.

They'd all be swimming in it. They're fishing chips. Oh, yeah. You'd have to keep the kids out from swimming in it though because that Mission Bay fountain Like at beaches. Oh, you could do fish and chips. Yeah, fish and chips. Oh, yeah. You'd have to keep the kids out from swimming in it though because that Mission Bay fountain's always got a bit of a yellow wee tinge to it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because of all the kids.

But it could work. Yeah. Tomato sauce. We love our tomato sauce. Yeah. As New Zealanders. Fletch doesn't. He's off the list.

He's been deported. Sweet chilli sauce. Give me a sweet chilli sauce fountain. No. Any day. No need for it. More sugar in it. Yeah.

Number four on the top six other things that need to be coming out of fountains in New Zealand. Natural gas in New Plymouth. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's Maui gas stations out there doing things. But am I getting any free gas? No, I'm not. Very hard to get in a bottle, gas.

Yeah. And how do you spurt that out of a fountain? I guess you'd be more like filling up balloons. But then that's very dangerous. Yeah. Sight the Hindenburg. Yeah. That was a giant boat filled with flammable gas.

Number three on the list of the top six things that need to be coming out of fountains in New Zealand. Milk in the Waikato. Oh yeah. Bit of a milk fountain. God, that'd be a popular one. You'd be having people filling up their containers there. What if the rule was no bottles, you had to take your cereal down or your cup of tea down?

You'd take your thermos, you'd make your cuppa, and then you'd just pop a little bit of milk in from a tap. Love it. You could chuck Milo in there, a big tin of Milo. Oh, no, you'd get drunk students coming by, tipping Milo in like they do with the water fountains. No, it wouldn't be an open fountain, obviously, because milk could go bad.

It would have to be a chilled fountain. Would it be green top? Blue top. Wouldn't have both. Okay. Silver top. Milk could go bad. It would have to be a chilled fountain. Would it be green top? Blue top. Wouldn't have both. Okay. Silver top. Two fountains. Number two on the list of the top six things that need to be coming out of fountains in New Zealand.

Long blacks in Wellington. Oh, you're good. Imagine there's a line of hipsters. You need a bike rack next to it so they can hop off and fill up their long black thermos in Wellington before peddling off to, I don't know, do whatever hipsters do. Business start-up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And the number one thing that should be coming out of a fountain in New Zealand, cheese. Wherever those old guys that make mainland cheese are making their cheese. Oh, my God. Do you reckon they're still alive? No. You could have at least thought about it for a second. Not the originals. Or said they were in a home.

No. They actually knew that their time was coming and they threw themselves into a vat of cheese. Wonderful vintage, though. To be with the cheese forever. Yes, wonderful vintage of cheese. Okay. Oh, yeah.

If you're lucky, you got a bit of them in one of the wheels. Right. Delicious vintage. That's where blue cheese comes from. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. It's the blue cheese comes from. Yeah. Yeah. It's old man. It's his shirt.

Because they always wear blue shirts, old boys. That is today's top six. Bex joins us to tell us the story of her swipe mare. Quick backstory, swipe mares are where dates organised via apps don't go well. Bex, good morning. Hi. All right, so let's start at the start. You matched with somebody.

So basically I matched with a guy, started chatting to him on a Friday night. We were talking for about an hour or so. And then I just let him know that I needed to get some sleep. I had a busy day the next day. Yeah. He kind of begged me to keep talking. And I just said, time for some sleep. Yeah. And then I had a message from him asking if I had Facebook and Instagram, which is fine.

Next morning, I wake up again to another message from him. And then I had a really busy day. So I basically, it's been about my day, came back to my phone at about five and found that he'd tracked me down on Instagram, messaged me twice on there, tracked me down on Facebook, messaged me twice on there, tracked me down on Facebook, messaged me on there.

Right. And at this point I just noped it out of there, deleted him off everything, blocked him Facebook and Instagram. This guy needs to chill. Yeah. The begging, I was like, no, begging's not sexy. No. Yeah, no, definitely not.

Definitely not. Yeah, and then within five minutes of blocking him and deleting him on everything, I had a new Instagram follower, same name, different profile. So I then basically blocked him on there and started swiping through my Tinder again, found that he had reset his Tinder profile and also made two new ones. What? Jeez.

Yeah, so it was a little bit much. But I think the best part about it all was that the night before he had been telling me all about how he was applying for the police later this year. Oh, good to know. Well, I mean, he's obviously a good detective. He's managed to track you down several times. He just uses his powers for good, not creepiness. Yeah.

So all the messages he was sending you, was he just begging? He wasn't being a creep? He was just, like, asking asking you know, just lots of text messages, just being like, how are you? All the, just too much. Just constant. Because the thing is, if he'd just shut up the next day, he could have started a conversation with you when you replied

and he might have got a date out of it. Yeah. Oh. Wow. Idiot. Can't wait to see if he gets into the police force. Well, then he's got a lot of databases he can use. Oh, yeah. That's a scary thought, isn't it? It is a bit scary.

I don't know what was going through his head. Was he like, she is going to love this. I'm setting up a new Instagram account to see her stuff, even though she just blocked me. Hey, Begs are going to hook up with a Swipe Mez prize pack. Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you.

And if you would like to share, you can register ZM online. FEM. ZM. A little incident happened in Queenstown yesterday. A man, rather than pressing the brake, pressed the accelerator. Now, they are right beside each other, but it's an essential aspect of driving.

You'd say it could be an easy mistake to make. Yes. I did this the other day, but I had it. It was in a gear, thank God. It was in a gear. How do you do this if you're not old? Because this is the ways old people do this. You don't do that thing where you put one

foot on the brake and one foot on the accelerator in an automatic car, right? No. No, that's right. In an automatic car, that left foot, he just has a rest. He just sits to the side and right's got this. I've driven with people that use both feet in an automatic. It's not a good habit. They are hard on the brake.

No. Do you think it's people that haven't learned to drive in a manual? No. Because when you learn to drive in an automatic, you should always... You fail your driver's license. Yeah. They see you doing both feet in automatic. Right.

So anyway, rather than pressing the brake, press the accelerator and went right through the front window of Ray White, Queenstown. The real estate office.

Yeah. Now, I would have thought they would have been quite upset about the whole thing, but they happily posed for photos with the guy

who drove through the front of their store. And everyone's smiling. To be honest, the price that real estate sells for in Queenstown, these guys probably don't think much about having to replace the front of their store. And everyone's smiling. To be honest, the price that real estate sells for in Queensland, these guys probably don't think much about having to replace the front of the store. Probably nothing, no.

No, probably a half an hour's commission. And a coffee. So they posed for a photo with him. And he's happy, they're happy. Whereas I'd be like, what the hell? But it's not your building, is it? You just work there. No, but you think like when you have a little accident

where someone just bumps into the back of you and you're like, man, that was so intense and loud. He like ran through a shop window. Took the door with him. You'd think he'd be in a bit of shock. Could have killed someone. Could have. Like if someone's desk was in the way.

Yeah. Behind the door. Could have been. But a very interesting, and it didn't just like slightly go into, the whole Mazda Demio is through the door. Could have been. But a very interesting, and it didn't just like slightly go into, the whole Mazda Demio is through the door and in the office. Parked in a real estate office. Yes.

With a smashed everything all around it. I'd like to know this morning, off the back of this wonderful parking job, where have you accidentally parked? And I say parked with earmarks around it because I mean, where's your car ended up when you attempted to park? Yeah.

And maybe it's not you, maybe Grant, because this is really grandma stuff. It is grandma territory. They love an accidental mix up of pedals when they're older. And they always seem to go through a phone store. Yeah.

I don't know why that whenever they show an old person's lunch through a shop, it's always a phone store. Or a pack and save. Or a supermarket. Yeah, they can't get close. The bollards.

They'll go through a four square. A lot of these places have bollards. But, you know, spark stores seem to be, seem to almost be a targeted area by old people. Everybody going down to try and fix their smartphone. I'm imagining that was one of the main reasons. They were in a bit of a tizzy because of the phone being confusing. And they think it's not working, but it's working fine.

I like it when people park somewhere they think's a park, but it's not. And then get tired? Well, yeah, or just like come back to their car and they're like, oh, that's not a park. You know, like at the malls, sometimes there are those areas. But do you want to hear from people that are more parked into something? Yeah. Right.

In positions, questionable positions. Right. You know, maybe end up in the drink. In a store. Down a hill, in a ditch. Yeah, bonus points as well. Into a ranch slider. Yeah, bonus points if you're under 60 and you've parked in a store.

Yeah, that's... Accidentally. Because I'm sure it's just a senior citizen thing to do. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's a new learner, beginner thing to do as well. A beginner as well. Sure. Maybe just people not concentrating.

All right. 0800 dials at M9696. Where have you accidentally parked? Is that how we're phrasing it? Yeah, yeah. With earmarks, speech marks. Accidentally hit the syllables. And that indicates that you're using speech marks.

A man parked through the front door of Ray White Real Estate in Queenstown yesterday. A complete mistake, but got right in there. And then the car stayed there for ages, so I guess he had free parking for the day. They needed to get the tow truck right up on the footpath to get it fully out of the office. Yeah. She was all the way in.

She was right in there. So lucky no one was hurt. Very lucky. We want to know where you've accidentally parked. Yeah, the intention wasn't there, but you ended up parking there. Amy, you were 16 when this happened. Yeah, yeah. So I was learning how to drive.

Okay. Yeah, my boyfriend at the time left his little Holden Barina at my house. Okay. So, I was just mucking around in the back. Yeah. On my back carport area. Yeah, okay. Then to drive, smashed through my sleep out, which was attached like underneath the house.

Oh, no. Then I panicked and I put it in reverse and I put it forward again and like smashed the pole holding up the carport. Oh, no. God, you just did a real number on your house.

Oh, no. Then I started crying. I was like, oh, my gosh, like this carport's going to come down. So I put it into drive again and smashed through the fence. It's like at this point, turn the car off and get out.

I would have set everything on fire. And just try to burn all the evidence. I don't know what happened. It all happened. How were mum and dad when they got home? Mum just cried. Oh, man. Mum just cried.

That's worse than her being angry. Yeah, to see her look bad. Or disappointed. She's like than her being angry. Yeah, just yell at me. Or disappointed. She's like, Mum's sad. No one likes to see Mum sad. I hate seeing Mum sad. Four sisters, and they all just were in hysterics. Oh, that doesn't help sad mum either.

That doesn't help sad mum. All right, thanks, Amy. Brent, where did you accidentally park? On top of the old stoplight. A traffic light. A traffic light. You parked on a traffic light. Yeah, well, I had those white jandals on, those big fat jandals.

Oh, yep, yep. And I was coming up to the light and then I was thinking, what the hell's going on? My car's going faster. So I swerved and hit the traffic light. But I hit it that hard, I snapped it from the base and I was right over the top of it. That's actually good, though,

because it took the wheels off the ground, I assume. So it meant your car would stop. Yeah, the funny part was I was driving my daughter to school and I looked at my daughter and she went, ooh, Dad. That's a good reaction? Oh, I'm going to bring this up later when I need something. I will never forget this.

And you're like, let's not tell mum. Let's not tell mum. Some text messages in. Somebody said my dad was a real stickler for reversing into the garage. Why? Until I reversed into the garage and as I got to the end, he said, all right, push the brake. And? Until I reversed into the garage and as I got to the end

he said, alright, push the brake and I slammed the accelerator and I went through the back wall of the garage out and into the pool. Into the pool?

Into the pool. Oh, that's brilliant. That's good. That's a wall down. Yeah. And in the pool. That's like a movie. I know that's a movie stuff.

You'd have to get a crane to get that out, wouldn't you? Absolute movie stuff. You'd have to drain the pool too because there's probably some castrol in there. I'd say definitely drain the pool. Somebody else said, I was working at a bakery at a supermarket, had headphones in, and then just everybody panicked and I saw some dust

and I turned around and we had a car in the bakery with us. It had come through the exterior wall. That must have hit it with some oomph. Yeah, to come through. Yeah. Was it a nana? No, no word as to who. But then we've been hearing from people of all ages.

Yeah, I don't want to be nana-ist. No, you are being nana-ist, don't you? Some other messages. I was parallel parking. Got in and I thought, man, I've done well. I said, I'll just put my foot on the brake, slam the accelerator and bashed right into a 2011 Lexus. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Okay. Yeah, that didn't go down well. I parked in my house at the garage. Sorry, I parked my car in front of the garage. Yeah. Was just like, I'll just put my foot on the brake and I'll get out and I'll open the garage door. Didn't.

Put my foot on the accelerator, went through the garage door, took the garage door with me through the other end of the garage as well. The garage started to fall over, but the car held it up for a while. You'd be able to recommend a new garage door, wouldn't you? Because you do voiceovers. Yeah, garage door. Garage door, garage doors. Jim uses his to protect his favourite car.

Or whatever that ad says. I can't remember what the ad says, but I remember Gary Dool. Gary. Somebody else said, we had an older gentleman at work come flying through our front window on a mobility scooter. Oh, wow.

We were just amazed that he wasn't even bleeding. He was like, sorry about this. Like, real relaxed about it. Like, it definitely wasn't his first time. They should wear helmets. Yeah, and seatbelts. Nah, if you're old and you're on a mobility scooter. It definitely wasn't his first time. They should wear helmets. Because he's got some serious hitterry. Nah, if you're old and you're on a mobility scooter.

I hope by the time we're old and we need mobility scooters, they're like a bit better. Because they're a bit poo. They're only covered in maroon. They do only cover maroon. Navy blue. You've got to remember these people were growing up in a time where those were the only colours.

Right, okay. And they like other colours. They scare them. I want them to be faster as well growing up in a time where those were the only colours. Right, okay. And they like other colours. They scare them. I want them to be faster as well and a bit wider at the base. They don't need to be faster. You're old. They're fast enough for old people. They don't want old people in charge of a rocket.

There's been a study conducted by a yoga brand. Okay. Not a yogut brand. A yoga. Huh? Oh, what's the... You're not saying the yoga brand? Wait, you're mouthing. No, I can say the label if you want. Oh, okay. I was going to get to yoga. Huh? Oh, what's the, you're not saying the yogurt brand? Wait, you're mouthing.

No, I can say the label if you want. Oh, okay. I was going to get to it. Oh, yeah, sorry. Stopped mode. Oh, I don't know that brand. They do yoga clothes. Okay.

Oh, gosh. Heck, they put some good looking people on yoga clothes websites. Of course. Guys and girls. Just sell the clothes. That's not yoga though. He's doing dumbbells things. That would be why your yoga brand went under, because your website used...

I know, I'm me. Yeah. And I had white lycra pants. You could see my hairy bum through them. Oh, well, we live and we learn. Next yoga brand, a step in the right direction. I'm not giving up on the yoga brand. Or your modelling, which is nice.

Thank you. I shouldn't have to. Yeah, you should have used your wife. Did you think about that? Damn it. You're an ideas man. You're on the board.

She's taken. Stop hitting on my wife. Although, I appreciate the compliment. I'm trying to market your yoga brand. Thank you. Which failed.

So they talked to people about the clothes because they sell clothes so they wanted to know about people's active wear. And people love talking about active wear, don't they? They do. They love talking about what brand of active wear they have.

And we even mentioned before, like, some people will wear active wear to work. Yes. Sometimes I wear active wear to work. You do. Or even out and about because it has kind of come quite nice, active wear, hasn't it? And, like, some weekends you'll go the whole weekend realising you've just worn active wear. But it's so comfortable.

A very on point Saturday Night Live sketch recently about the true use of active wear. Yeah, right. And how the ads always show a woman, you know, working out and running, but really 90% of the time it's on the couch. Eating ice cream. Yeah, watching Netflix. They like slide under a blanket really well. Yeah, or muffins. Or muffins, yeah. They slide under a blanket really well.

Yeah. So they asked people the habits about washing their active wear. And 31% of people asked will wear their gym kit up to three times before washing it. Which is grim. You're not working out. You're not sweating that much if you can wear your active wear three times. More than once. Mine are stank. Like, I go before work, but then I your active wear three times. More than once. Mine are stank.

Like, I go before work, but then I dump them in my bag. My bag is currently sitting in my car. It's the perfect warm and moist environment for bacteria to be forming. You could probably brew kombucha off that. I probably could take a summer ball off any of it and brew some kombucha. No, but you don't always drip with sweat every gym session. Like, if you're doing weights. If you're doing weights, do you drip with sweat? Yeah. No, but you don't always drip with sweat every gym session. Like if you're doing weights. Yes.

If you're doing weights, do you drip with sweat? Yeah. Oh no, I don't. Oh yuck. You're not doing heavy enough ones. They're pretty heavy. I mean, probably not the same as you.

Puck's sweetheart. Not the same as you, bra. Dull. Maybe girls just don't sweat as much when we do weights. That's really a fair call. Because I have a favourite sports bra, so I'm like, oh, this is good for another go.

Man, no, mine are stank. I couldn't because I'd stink too much, but then I do a lot of cardio, like cross trainer and stuff, so that sweats out. On cardio days, I wouldn't recycle that. Caitlin, what about you? You love your active wear. So before you judge.

Says someone about to be judged. No judge here. I'm like the sweatiest person you will ever meet. Like, I'm so sweaty. You are fairly sweaty. You know I'm sweaty. I get sweaty arms and stuff. And especially when I work out.

You've got a sweaty wrist. One time I grabbed it by the wrist and it was slimy. So it wasn't what someone told me. It's because I drink lots of water and I'm actually quite fit. And that's why I sweat lots. Get some Botox injections on your wrist. No, I'm fine. It's just when it's hot or like when I work out,

anytime I work out, I sweat like it drips. But I, when I sweat, you're going to laugh, but it's actually true. It doesn't smell. Like it will smell like probably, so I reuse my active wear, probably like twice, maybe. So you're in this like the survey says. I'm like the stats, because

I'll sweat through my, like, top, but then I'll give it a good whiff and it doesn't smell. So I just dry it, and then wear it the next day. It doesn't smell at the time, though, does it? It's the bacteria that, yeah, that get into it, that make it smell eventually. I always give it a good whiff before I put it back on, and no one's's ever complained and it always smells fine.

And Tananya, do you wash your rash suit? Your rash suit after you stand up paddle boarding? Like a brush. Are you going to wash that salt water off, dog? No one's getting sweaty after supping. I wouldn't know, to be honest. You've only been twice, haven't you? No, they don't get sweaty, they get bored.

And get judged, but they don't get sweaty. But what about your active wear? Yeah, nah. Sorry, Katie. That's a bit grim. Nah, I've got to wash it every time. Oh, yuck. I'm kind of with Katie.

You're just going to sweat in it as soon as you get there. And I've talked to girlfriends about this before. I don't wash my hair every time I sweat through my hair. I just dry it with a hairdryer. It's just sweat. You're trying grim. At leaster. It's just sweat. You're drying grub. At least water. I'm with you.

Hey, you don't have any hair. You cannot say a word. You don't know what it's like. I'm totally on board. You do not have any hair. You just dry it. Yeah. So many of my girlfriends will just be at Les Mills and just dry your hair.

Stingy. Stingy. Sweat head. There's no fructose sweat flavor, is there? You have to wash your hair Every time If you washed your hair Every time you go to the gym

It would be like dry as No no but at least Run some water through it So you're drying water Not drying the sweat in there No because we've Got busy lives I go to the gym

And then I have to go And like go on a date Well I don't But like You could You don't If I was good at life That's what I'd be doing

If you are going on a date After the gym, please wash your hair. Oh, I know. He nuzzles in for a little kiss and he's like, what are you wearing? Oh, my God. Are you wearing the new fragrance from Calvin Klein's stank ass hair? Smells a bit like eggs and a bit like socks. I can guarantee there's other girls that do this. A bit like a wheelie bin that's been in the sun.

Cool. With a bit of unidentified juice at the bottom of it. It's got a salty... I'd be lucky to kiss that, me. Okay. Yeah, luck's not the word. FM. Joined in studio by special guest Matt Chisholm,

who is the host of Survivor New Zealand. Good morning. Good morning. Can't believe you called me special. Special guest. Yeah, okay. It's different to special, isn't it? Normally she just says guest in,

so I don't know why you're special. Neither do I. Neither do I. So it starts Sunday night, TVNZ2, the second season of Survivor, and $250,000 cash. A lot of cash. A lot of cash, yeah.

Do you think, because you would have seen a little bit, obviously you were there, but do you think it made people want it more? More bitchy. With Hungary?

Without a doubt. Yeah, they were cutthroat this year, which is fantastic. Yeah, they just played at a different level, eh? Which is what you want. Which is one of those games like next season,

the prize money goes down and you try to find the perfect balance of not giving away too much money but still getting cutthroat antics. Yeah, I know, because that was probably more money than we really had.

It's probably going to bankrupt TVNZ, I'll tell you. So you're in Thailand. What part of Thailand? Something like northwest of Bangkok, near the Myanmar border. Okay. And it wasn't like sun surf and sand or any of that business, we're on a lake so the contestants lived on islands on a lake and

it was really, really boring for a lot of them apparently, in terms of the outlook didn't change not that beautiful white sandy beach that Survivor is sometimes known for so that lack of variety was a real killer okay, so no no red bull buckets and no there were definitely mushroom shakes for some of them yeah um homemade that's

homemade yeah they found that stuff dangerous path to take yeah i've got to take that back that didn't happen so what did you what was the difference between the first season apart from the prize money the first season and the second season of Survivor New Zealand? They were more cutthroat. They were more hungry. There were hidden immunity idols were in play this year, so they were playing at a deeper level. They were more strategic.

Far out. I've got a list of stuff. It's in my head somewhere, but it's tucked away, locked away, because I had about two hours sleep last night with a new baby. Producer Caitlin, who flew to Thailand for the first few days of filming, and you've used her a little bit in Survivor. We did use her, yeah. So as like an example of challenges and stuff, is that?

Yeah, so the contestants go and do a challenge, and then we need some people to, what we call the dream team, to show the challenge when I explain it out before the contestants actually do it. But I vividly remember her actually doing it because she was just full of beans and really quite excited about it. You explained it out before as she was like a little bit giddy and hee-hee-hee and that's kind of how it was, I've got to say, Caitlin. Thanks, Matt.

I think it was like because I was so excited to do it and then I actually did it and I was terrible like it was pathetic you saw yourself the other night didn't you on the first episode I don't want to give it away

too much but just look for the person that's like trailing way behind because you see some of those challenges and you're like oh does it look too bad

like I could do that but is it way harder you can't do it yeah but you've been eating like three decent three squares a day right but so would Caitlin right wow that's a good point, but you've been eating like three decent, three squares a day, right? But so would Caitlin, right?

Well, that's a good point. How much have you been eating, Caitlin, actually? Lots of really good pad thai and curry, so. What was your excuse then for being rubbish? I had too many pad thais. I find if you eat a whole pad thai, doing activities is far harder than when you're really hungry. Well, I heard from a few people

in the know that have seen little peaks of the first episode and apparently it's amazing. It is a doozy. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a whole heap better this year.

Everyone's kind of lifted their game. Everyone knows what they were doing. Yeah. It's just like, I didn't have a clue first year. Let's do this again. Just finding your way.

You might have it down. I reckon season six. I'm going to be all over it. I'm going to look like a professional. Yeah. Let's go. Just finding your way. You might have it down. I reckon season six. I'm going to be all over it. I'm going to look like a professional on season six. Right. Okay.

I know what to do now. Give me one more season. That's what we're hoping with our careers. One day. Just one day, get good at it. Yeah.

A lot of people have been saying that. 18 Kiwi Castaways. It's Survivor New Zealand season two and it's on Sunday seven o'clock TVNZ2. Don't forget,

if you watch and then listen to us Monday morning, we've got a chance for you to win cash as well. We're going to give away some Bart as well. Brilliant. Goes a long way. Give it a Bart for your buck. Yeah. Hope, Matt, thank you so much for coming in.

Thank you for having me. Brilliant. Friday Flashback. But first, it's my pick for Friday Flashback and I have chosen this song because it's an absolute sing-along. I think it would be, you'd be

hard-pressed to be at a party and for this song to come on or anywhere where you're especially drunk and not lose it when this song started. Don't you agree? Yeah, but now I'm just not going to sing along just to spite you. Because we don't want each other to succeed. Why don't we, hey, hey, here's an idea.

Why don't we lift each other up and share each other's successes? Well, you remember that when it comes to my Friday flashback. Yeah, but you pick rubbish songs. This song here only made it to number 15 in the charts in New Zealand. But we were talking about this one, one of those songs that kind of is always in the charts. It definitely holds a record for how long it's been in the charts. It was years that it just kind of bubbled around in there. What are you laughing at?

That's the epitome of a slow burner. I just had a wee yawn. Sorry. Mid your two yarning. How very rude. So rude. Get over that. This song was released in 2003 in September.

It is several radio stations, music publications have called it one of the songs of the decade or century in their top 100 lists. It's been voted the ninth greatest guitar riffs of the 21st century by Guitar Magazine. Total Guitar. That is high praise. That's high praise. I've never heard of that magazine. I really want to know what else is on the list of guitar riffs. It's high praise. And also,

Rolling Stone in 2010 listed this song as the 48th best song of the 21st century. Ooh la la. And you know, it's in heaps of memes. Number what in New Zealand? 15. It's in heaps of memes. But it got to number what in New Zealand? 15. It's in heaps of memes. It's like,

when this song comes on and then it's like, someone's like, oh my God. we get it. Oh, shut up Megan. They're playing in Auckland tonight

and in Wellington and in Karashich in the country at the moment, the killers. And your Friday flashback is Mr. Brightside on ZM. is Mr. Brightside. On to them. And she's taking a drag, now they're going to bed And my stomach is sick, and it's all in my head But she's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now Let me go I just can't look, it's killing me And taking control I just can't look, it's killing me And taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea Turning through sick lullabies Toping on your alibis

But it's just a price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes Cause I miss the bright side I never I never I never I never The Killers, Mr. Brightside, On ZM, Friday Flashback. Yeah, and that's some bad feedback, isn't it?

No, just in the sexes. Brilliant. Shit, you white people really love this song. You lose your mind when it comes on and you've been drinking. It's so true. So true.

So true. So true. So very, very true. The Killers play tonight at Spark Arena playing Wellington and Christchurch as well.

I've seen them before live. They're incredible live. They are, yeah. So here's some different feedback. Someone said, I was just stuck

at the lights and the guy next to me finished off my echo, because I said, it was only a kiss. And he said, it was only a kiss. He finished the echo for them. That's amazing. That's pretty good. I'm bringing New Zealanders together.

Strangers together. Yeah. Today was my Friday first, babe. Just burnt myself with my hair straightener, pretending it was a microphone, singing along. Oh, don't get that too close to the light. Always turn it off. It'll hurt the face. It was only a tsss. It was only a microphone singing along. Don't get that too close to the laptop. Always turn it off and you're going to...

It'll hurt the face. It was only a... And now my skin's burning on the hair straightener. Two stories. Now, these are from different people, but apparently somebody said, this takes me back to school when we got in trouble for bastardising chapel at a religious school

for playing this while the school was working out. Love it. And then someone else said, this reminds me when the Sixth Formers played this song as we were filing out of chapel. So that sounds like it's almost a legendary, it's a thing of legend now. Right, okay.

They did that in the songs. Other people said... Banger, just banger. Nope. Resounding banger. The other side of the coin. I won't hear the negative today. Fletch, you should be banned.

I've never been more disappointed in you. Words can't describe how much I hate this song. Okay, well, you know. But that wasn't worth your build-up. He did build it up a lot. That's the story of my life. They go on to... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Constantly build-up. Constantly build-up. I need to be let down. And then you get there and it's like, oh, okay. From news that could be good or bad, I'm going to take you to a place of 100% positivity and great, great news. Because you've had some bad news that you're going to tell us about soon.

I'm going to tell you bad news later, but we're segregating the hour. It's happiness now. Last night, because the kids are there's an old saying, when the kids are away, hit up the RSA. Is that a saying? Oh, it's 12 hours old. Right. Came up with it last night. So we went to the RSA. Sharts and I, which yes, I know that's her nickname and I call

my wife a shitty fart. I know. She's not a huge fan of it either. Well, no, but we've been calling her that for years. Even I call her that. So Sharts and I go down to the RSA for a mean feed. You joined a while ago because they do the cheap drinks in the mean feeds. Joined the national RSA, but I'm going to go the next step

and become an official member of my local. And is this the place where the guy remembers your name? Yeah. And do you have to twist her up to get her to go there

or is she down? No, no. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Because everybody says, you know, you can change your partner and Guy's like,

oh, just get him because you'll be able to change him, like get him dressing nice and stuff. It's a door-upper. As much as she's changed me, I'll just get him because you'll be able to change him, like, get him dressed up nice and stuff. It's a door-upper. As much as she's changed me, I've changed her, too. Okay.

From the girl that used to work at Lippy. Yep. She's done you up and you've... And I've brought her down. We've met in the middle. You got her out of a girl racer car into a nice family car, too, didn't you? A very sensible, non-turbo family car. Thank you.

So, we popped on down to the RSA. Had a mean feed. Pork belly in case you're wondering for me. Lamb shank for her. It's a spinny's meat. I know. It was not too spinny at the RSA. So we had a couple of drinks. And then afterwards I said, the kids aren't here.

Why are we rushing home? Let's go and have a couple of drinks in the actual bar part of the Rasa. So we go down. And as I'm arriving, I don't recall her name, but she's saying it's last calls for the meat raffle. Okay. Last calls for the meat raffle. Oh, here we go.

And then she goes on to say that the ladies are, this meat raffle, the meat's been donated, the proceeds raised, they're going to be going on to putting a big breakfast on on Anzac Day. Oh, okay, right. So that's a good cause. The woman sector of the RSA are putting on this breakfast, and I was like, that's a great cause and I need another beer. So I went up and I said, a beer, please, Patron.

And $20 out for the raffle. Because I said, how much? $20? Well, I said to her, how much are the raffle tickets? And she said, $5 each. I said, how many spots you got left? She said, four. I said, I'll take all of them.

I'll just get you the cash. High roller. You have it. See, you are the biggest tight ass in the world, but you give you two shandies or two shandies and a fork belly, and you are just loose with your money. Loose on a Thursday. He's a party animal.

Tell him to wind it in. So I get my name written down. Yeah. The meat raffle starts. Yeah. We've got beef up first. Now, they look like some lovely corned beef. There's multiple meat packs.

There's multiple meat packs. And do they have a wheel or one of those books? No, they don't have that. They've got this handheld machine and they push it and the buttons go brrrr and it randomly selects the number between one and whatever you program it to. I don't trust that. Well, I wouldn't either because Arthur won twice last night.

Arthur almost turn a row, took out two. I think he took home a bowl of roast and a corned beef. Okay. And I was like, well, I don't really mind if I don't win because it's for a good cause. And I just love this. This is exciting. So then we're having a good laugh about being in the meat raffle.

And then I start recording myself. And being 35, that is, Vaughn, congratulations, you've won the pork roast. Well, I had the roof. I'm so excited. When Arthur won, he just walked up and he was like, oh, thanks for that. I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes. So people see me getting excited, they start clapping. I'm bowing and waving.

And you're like, give me the mic, I need to do a speech. Yeah. I just want to thank everybody here at the RSA. And so I go up and I get this beautiful big pork roast. Yeah. I'm over the moon.

I'm on cloud nine. Sade's just cry laughing because I'm showing so much emotion in the RSA. Yeah. And everyone's kind of looking at how stoked I am

because... Yeah. And I sit down and we're talking about the pork roast and then the guy comes over. He's like, oh, Lee, you know, it's bloody good pork roast. It's good pork.

I want a couple of weeks going. It was bloody good. I was like, hey, thanks. I really appreciate it. So I had another beer and then went home. And I've got a pork roast. Putting it on this afternoon. You guys can have some pork roast.

Oh, yeah. Coming over for drinks. Coming over, yeah. So, yeah, well. This is great. I'll chuck it on the rotisserie. guys can have some pork rice. Oh, yeah. Coming over for drinks. Yeah, okay. So, yeah, well, this is great. I'll chuck it on the rotisserie. I'll have the pork rice. All thanks to the RSA.

Oh, my God. I want a raffle, basically, guys, and I'm over the moon about it. I don't even think a raffle's still a thing. 100. At workplaces, there'll be someone that's raising money for their kids, something. Yeah, but you never hear who wins them. Yeah, do you know there was a raffle I always wanted my parents to enter when we were kids,

and they had like, the rotary did like play, like cool hearts. Oh, they built like a tree house. Yeah, and then they'd put it on a trailer, and they'd be like, tickets are $5. Yeah.

And you'd never win, when mum and dad would never buy the tickets. No, because they'd always buy the firewood raffle. Yeah, they'd be those as well. What do you want to be, warm in winter, or in a playhouse, cold? In a playhouse, cold. In a playhouse, cold.

I'm a kid and I don't make rational decisions at all. But I don't think I've ever won. I don't think I've ever won a raffle before. Well, because you've got to pay to enter those. But even those competitions, I never enter those. You don't win, do you? You're not in, you don't win. I want to hear from fellow raffle winners today.

I want to keep the good mood going. I want to hear what you raffle winners today. I want to keep the good, right, good mood going. I want to hear what you've won in a raffle. The craziest thing you've won in a raffle or the best thing you've won in a raffle? It has to be a raffle. You have to take a number. Okay. And you have to pay or just?

Yeah. Okay. You pay for a raffle because someone's always fundraising. Is it the definition of a raffle that someone's always raising money for something? I think so, yeah. It's never just pure profit. They're always doing it for something. I think so. All right, so 0800- Fellow raffle that someone's always raising money for something. I think so, yeah. It's never just pure profite. They're always doing it for something.

I think so. All right, so 0800-DARZATM. Fellow raffle winners unite. Sharon Vaughan's joy. How big was the prize? Taste that pork, baby! Or how rubbish was the prize? 0800-DARZATM.

You can text 9696. We want to know the most exciting thing you have won in a raffle. Vaughan would like to hear from fellow raffle winners this morning. Yes, I've joined the ranks of raffle victors. It's good stuff. Oh, my God. Somebody said, I'm a vegetarian and I'm also gluten-free, so that'd be fun at a barbecue.

But they won the grand prize raffle of a $500 home kill meat pack. Oh, that's really rubbing it in your face, isn't it? But why did they even enter that? Well, you could sell that to a meat loving friend. Was there other prizes available? As a vegetarian, you don't eat the meat but are you okay to be the middle man? Like, do you sell? Yeah, well

you technically are the middle man for meat, which is what you're against. You're a meaty middleman. Yeah, I don't know. But if I was getting $500, I could bend my principles. You know what? I'm the text machine.

I'm even hearing from fellow RSA raffle winners. Okay. 28-year-old female reporting here, and I can also claim I have struck gold. At the Raza. At the Raza. I was initially drawn in by the $3 rum and Cokes. Karubas.

$3? It's crazy. Like, the guy at my RSA, because I've got a Carlsberg, which is their Oolala. It's got its own tap and its own glasses, and usually you get your glass from the fridge. But he bought me one, and he's like, right, Carlsberg. Oh, Jesus, no, that's too expensive.

What do you imagine paying for a Carlsberg? I was like, $4.50? He's No, that's too expensive. What do you imagine paying for a Carlsberg? I was like, $450? He's like, that sounds reasonable to me. Oh, my God. I was like, you're my best friend. $450. We're soulmates, baby. Jesus.

Me and you. I love you. They don't give a shit. They need to open up an RSA in the viaduct. Yeah. They do. And today I will mention, and while we're talking about the RSA, and I loveuct. Yeah. They do. And today, I will mention,

and while we're talking about the RSA, and I love it, it's a great place. Awesome little section of your local neighbourhood. It is Poppy Day today. So if you are, it's the RSA Poppy Day.

So pop a poppy on your chest and then, you're always welcome at the Raza. Always welcome at the Raza. But this person said they won the meat raffle the first time they were there

where they won a butterfly chicken for a $2 entry coin at the Raza. Oh, that's good. That's good. They were like, fantastic. What's a better way

to spend a Friday night? Go for the raffles all the time. That's what they get you. They get you hooked on the raffles. Get you a little, get you a taste. All right, let's take some calls. Jennifer.

Yeah, hi. You've won a raffle? Yeah, my daughter did. She was five at the time. Okay. And she won a $2,000 travel voucher. Wow, and so you just sent her off on her own? No, she took us to Fiji.

Oh, did she? Did she have that choice? Yeah. Because I found $40 once and I paid for entry to Splash Planet or Fantasyland or whatever it was called in Hastings. Yeah. And I always, you know, still hold that over my family's head. I'm like, hey, you guys still owe me because I paid for that entry to that theme park back then. When I was like 10. Yeah. And I always, you know, still hold that over my family's head. I'm like, hey, you guys still owe me because I paid for that entry

to that theme park back then. When I was like 10. Yeah. Because I found that money. Exactly. Wow. Okay. All right.

Thanks, Jennifer. Isaac. Isaac, your work mate. Yeah. Oh, what? I was preparing a set of financial accounts for a client and I was talking to the boss

and he was telling me about one of his employees that raffles off his wages most weeks. Right. Okay. How does this work? How much was this guy getting paid a week? that raffles off his wages most weeks. Right, okay. How does this work? How much was this guy getting paid a week? So he was just getting paid about $5.50 a week,

and he works in a big factory of about 280 employees. Yeah. He'd get about 70, 75 tickets and sell them at $10 a pop. So he'd earn, instead of $5.50 a week, about $7.50 a week, and then, yeah, draw a winner winner and they'd get his wage. That is genius! Is that allowed? Because you'd put in $10 in your workmate's wages, right?

That's $10. Yeah. And then he's making, wow. That's illegal, though, right? You said you were preparing financial accounts. You'd know that that's probably a tax. Yeah, well, I'll just kind of keep it on the slide. Are we just calling that a grey area, Isaac?

Oh, it sounds like a grey area. I didn't have to pay tax. They gave it to me. I've just Googled. The New Zealand police have a page, Housie Raffles and Games of Chance. Oh, okay, go on. So many community groups use some form of gambling to raise funds.

Activities such as Housie Raffles, lotteries and Games of Chance must comply with the Gambling Act. These activities are placed on classes. So class one has a limit of $500 on the total value of prizes and turnovers. Right. And then you're only allowed to run one of those one session per day.

Oh, there you go. And then there's one with $5,000. It sounds complicated, just grey area it. Yeah, if you're raising money, it sounds about right. I mean, there's lots of factories. We haven't seen where this guy works. God bless him and good luck to him. Exactly. Thanks, Isaac.

Until he goes to prison. But it'll be a nice white-collar prison. Sophie, your parents won a raffle. Yeah, they sure did. So years ago, we had friends who lived in Rarotonga, and their kids attended this little school, and every year the school would do a fundraiser, and the trip, sorry,

the prize was a trip to Rarotonga. Okay. So every year my parents would buy one ticket for $20 and two years ago they won.

So the two of them had an all expenses paid trip, a whole week long fun activities, amazing accommodation, flights, everything,

$20 trip to Rarotonga. $20. Oh, that's awesome. And did they see the funny little dogs that are really low to the ground? Yeah, they look like dogs made of different bits of dog. Yeah.

Like Franken-dogs. Thanks, Sophie. Highlight of Rarotana. Yeah. Somebody else here did the local quiz at the RSA. It was a fundraiser, but you had to do more. You couldn't just buy a number. You had to answer some questions.

Okay. My mum won two separate gift baskets. One full of international condiments and the other full of wine and food. Condiments! Mum celebrated by getting really drunk and crying and telling everybody how much she loved them. And now she thinks it's only a matter of time until she wins the lotto. She's on a winning

streak. That's how it works, eh? Somebody said, I won a raffle once where you had to buy a ticket and then guess how many jelly beans were in a huge jar. I ended up winning. I don't even like jelly beans. What a waste.

What do you do with all those jelly beans if you don't like jelly beans? You'd start with the blue ones, then you'd go green, then red, and then after about two months, you'd have some white, yellow, and black ones in the bottom of the jar. You'd slowly eat the yellow and then you'd do the white, and then I black ones in the bottom of the jar. Chuck those away. You'd slowly eat the yellow, and then you'd do the white, and then I'd be like, oh, I'd better eat the black ones then.

I'd get through them. You wouldn't sort of like look to spread the black ones, which are undoubtedly the worst jelly bean throughout the procedure. No. Huh. Save it till the end. Save it till you're desperate. Yeah.

I did the same with fruit jubes as well, fruit jubes. The yellow ones, yuck. Get them out of there. And they always put so many yellow ones in there. I know. I started a same with fruit jubes as well. Fruit jubes. The yellow ones. Yuck. Get them out of there. And they always put so many yellow ones in there. I know. I started a petition. They haven't replied. Okay.

Less yellow. Less yellow ones. More of the other. Purple. Well, many raffle winners. We've all been on Cloud9. It's great news. Fact of the day is that in 2005,

the cardboard box was inducted into the Hall of Fame for toys. Really? The cardboard box. Well, there have been rocket ships. You can make a great rocket ship or a heart out of a fridge box. They are great for everything. And my kids love playing with boxes. They sit in them and we've got the kind of floor you can push them around in.

They'll flip them up and sit down high under them. I can go to a pet store and get all these toys, expensive toys for my cat. And it would just be like, and then I bring home something, take it out of the box and put it on the floor and he goes crazy for it. Loves the cats in the boxes. They sit in them. It's like, oh, okay, I'll just get you boxes next time. Listen to this awesome little blurb about the cardboard box

from its 2005 induction into the Toys Hall of Fame. Over the years, children sensed the possibilities inherent in cardboard boxes, recycling them into innumerable playthings. The strength, lightweight and easy availability that made cardboard boxes, recycling them into innumerable playthings. The strength, lightweight and easy availability that made cardboard boxes successful with the packaging industry have made them endlessly

adaptable by children for creative play. Shoe boxes serve as ideal settings for scenes and dioramas. Small boxes take on alternate roles as dollhouse furniture. Wheels drawn on the side can turn a box into a fun car. Really big boxes from washer stoves, big screen TVs or refrigerators can turn a box into a fun car. Really big boxes from washers, stoves, big screen TVs or refrigerators can offer

children even greater opportunity for creativity. With nothing more than a little imagination, those boxes can be transformed into forts or homes, spaceships or submarines, castles or caves. And inside a big cardboard box, a child is transported to a world of his or her own where anything is possible.

That's so true. That's so true. That's so cool. So poetic. Yeah. We kick them until they go flat and then we fold them over and push them down into the recycling bin. And look at all the things they've done for us along the way.

When do you stop playing with boxes? You know, as adults we could still play. I was playing with one the other day. I was inside the box. I was sticking my finger up so the cat wouldn't attack it. It's like the box is my head. That's good. And I was a robot.

That's good. You see your imagination. It's still there. The inner child of everybody here and everybody listening still appreciates a box. You're so nice and caring to that asshole cat. But then to everyone else, like to actual humans, you're like, nah. Oh, they've got, even, you know,

psychopaths have a soft spot. We've found his, it's that cat. And boxes, as it turns out. You can do anything with a box. Other things inducted in 2005 was the board game Candyland

and the Jack in the Box. But you wind around and he honks out. So the first induction into the US Toys Hall of Fame was in 1998. Barbie was in there, first round.

Crayola crayons, Etch-a-Sketch, Frisbees, Lego, marbles, Monopoly, Play-Doh, a teddy bear,

non-branded teddy bear but just the teddy bear. And you know, things get added all the time. Last year, Cluedo got added, but they just call it Clue in America. I don't know why. Do they? Yeah, Cluedo is

us, and I want to say Britain. Okay. But Americans just call Cluedo Clue. That's stupid. The paper aeroplane got added last year. And the whiffle ball. What's the whiffle ball? Is the whiffle ball... I'm going to have to Google because I think it's like one of those... Is that one where you get it through the hole? And the Whiffle Ball. What's the Whiffle Ball? Is the Whiffle Ball...

I'm going to have to Google. Because I think it's like one of those... Is that one where you get it through the hole? Yeah, no, it's a golf ball. When you want to practice whacking a golf ball, but you don't have the room, you whack it and it's got holes in it so it doesn't go as far and it doesn't break things.

The original one designed for baseball, indoor baseball apparently, but now they come in all different sports shapes. Right. We're all loaded up with toy facts ready for the weekend, and I would encourage you this weekend to play with a box. Get in a box. Climb in a box.

You don't need to fly away to an exotic destination because that box could be a 737. Yes, it could be. I mean, just let your imagination fly. You could be halfway to your destination in your cardboard box and the cardboard wing engine could explode. Toyboy's probably excited to get a couple of boxes

and play. Yeah, okay. Maybe you could build a fort. Did they have boxes in South Africa? You could turn the couch into like a fort.

Yeah. I'd probably like that. You can turn anything into anything with a box. Okay. Turn with a hat box. You're a great invention

and we take you for granted so very often. So today's fact of the day is in 2005, the cardboard box was inducted into the Toys Hall of Fame. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Well, let me set the scene for you. Earlier this week, it was International Banana Day. I had no idea.

Was it? Yes, it was. Yeah, right. Now, to celebrate, the people at Dole. The Dole Bananas. Dole Bananas. I know that, yep, yep. Dole Bananas.

They do pineapples too, don't they? Yes, they do. They do tropical fruits. In Hawaii, I went to the pineapple dole place. They've pineapples too, don't they? Yes, they do. They do tropical fruits. In Hawaii, I went to the pineapple dole place. They've got a thing you go to. What celebrity was marrying into pineapple money? What came from pineapple money?

It was a celebrity that was marrying someone that was the heir. A New Zealand celeb? No, no, no. It was an international celebrity. They were marrying the heir to the... Pineapple fortune. Pineapple fortune, the dole pineapple pineapple fortune or the chickie the bananas. Pop stars marries pineapple. Yeah, go on.

German pop star. No, that wasn't that one. No, it was someone we know. No, she got married to a pineapple. I don't marry a pineapple. Yeah, no, I can't find out. And you know I've got huge respects for pineapple because it's three years to grow one single pineapple

and they take up a bit of room. They're like a bush. Yeah, yeah. Amazing. And we just discard them And they take up a bit of room. They're like a bush. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. And we just discard them if they get a little bit brown. Rude. So, also a big fan of the banana.

Yeah. Have at least one a day. Yeah. Oh, me? Potassium. Good potassium. What did you just say? Spasassium. Spasassium.

Great for spasassium. You need some more spasassium. So, I was sent, and this person from Dole, to celebrate International Banana Day, also knows that my daughters love piñatas. Yeah. Huge piñata fans. You get them one for their birthday all the time. Every time.

They love piñatas. Yeah. Like, I could bribe them to do stuff with piñatas. So they sent me a banana piñata. Banana piñata. Banana piñata. That's a great piñata. With a banana-themed whacking stick.

A yellow and black whacking stick. It's a good whacking stick, too. It's great. It's a solid piñata. With a banana-themed whacking stick, a yellow and black whacking stick. It's a good whacking stick, too. It's solid. It's a solid bit of dowel. So I arrive at work, and I see the banana piñata, which is unexpected, but I'm excited, and I'm like, yay, banana piñata. Yeah. And I see it's for me and Indian August.

Yep. And I'm like, yay, and I flip it over, and I present to you now a gaping hole, a gaping hole in my banana piñata. Yeah. Which is why now I need to launch... Oh, really? Vaughan Smith Investigates. Banana piñata edition.

Who put the banana, who put the hole, who put the gaping hole in the banana piñata? This was full of lollies. When I got it. Yep. Decimated. Only the yuck ones were left. Decimated.

Great fruit burst was in there. Do you know what was in there that wasn't in there when we got to work? Flakes. Little mini flakes. I know. Well, the plot thickens because I saw somebody in the officer's desk with a mini flake behind there. Oh.

I didn't know there were mini chocolate wrappers in here. Yeah. They were the little banana lollies. Add to the suspect list. Well, do you know the great thing is it's not me or Fletch. No. Because we weren't here. Producers.

I am not pointing fingers. They arrive before us sometimes. You know that I only ever steal the wine that gets sent to you. Correct. You're right. Caitlin's off the hook. I am not pointing fingers. They arrive before us sometimes. You know that I only ever steal the wine that gets sent to you. Correct. You're right. Caitlin's off the hook. I'm off the hook. But not for the wine.

We'll deal with that another time. Anya. It's not chips. It's not chips. You're on the chips. You're on the chips. You're on the chips. You did help yourself to a bag of chips we got sent the other day.

That was noted. James. Lollies. I never really know much of what goes on around here, so I never even knew there was a piñata even around. He is. He's such a cruiser. He'd walk right past it and wouldn't even notice a giant yellow banana piñata.

To be fair, lollies are my jam, but it's definitely someone in the office. Yeah, and not someone subtle either. No, that is... They have literally seen that and picked up the stick and gone, I'm whacking open this pinata that doesn't belong to me. This also wasn't purchased. This was made.

Look. This was lovingly crafted with paper mache. And I love paper mache. But it honestly doesn't even look like they whacked it. It looks like they just tore it open. At least whack it. Use it for the purpose of which it was built. Well, fetch me the following.

Ross Boss, because that guy loves loll built. Well, fetch me the following. Ross Boss, because that guy loves lollies. Wait, you can't just go out and you've got to do some actual... They're not being arrested, though. They're in for questioning. Oh, okay. They're in for questioning. I'm allowed to detain them for up to 72 hours.

Do they get a phone call? Are they allowed a phone call? Yeah, it's a good point. Well, don't tell them. We'll see if they ask for one. Okay, so you want... I want Ross Moss because he's around a lot. And he always drinks a V. He loves a sweet treat.

And he loves lollies. He loves lollies. He loves lollies. Yeah. Okay. I need Gary in here, Soundkeeper Gary. Right. Because he's kind of always around the office

and he's got an eye on everything. Okay. So not so much suspecting Gary, although he's off the hook. Witness Gary. But he may have seen something or have some additional clues. And I need Bree

because she was the one that I saw a mini flake wrapper behind her computer screen. And she's new. Yes, she is. And she's Australian. Yeah, and these sorts of piñata related crimes

haven't happened until she joined staff. How many piñata pi pinatas have we had? This is the first, but it's no coincidence that it happens after the Australian shows up. Why not any of the other girls in the office? Because I don't want to accuse them of eating lollies. They'll be like, why? Why do you think I eat lollies?

I'll be like, I don't know, I'm sorry. Okay, so producers, we need Ross Boss, Bree, and Sound Keeper Gary. I hate to take the show in this direction on a Friday, but you've done this to yourself. And you let them away with it once. They think they've got free reign. No. No, they don't. All right.

So Vaughan Smith investigates. We're going to follow up on this next. Vaughan Smith investigates. We're going to follow up on this next. Vaughan Smith investigates. I've got three suspects in studio as to who broke into my dull banana piñata that was left in the office for you the next morning. And not even broken into in typical piñata fashion of using, what is a piñata stick called? A whacker.

The piñata whacker. Didn't even, like, put in a little slit with a craft knife to sneakily get the lollies out. No, no, and should, you know, a good portion of lollies been taken but suddenly it's in there, I wouldn't have been any the wiser, but it's just been, as you can see, just haphazardly torn.

I mean, people listening to the radio can't see that's part of being on the radio, but take my word for it. Listen. That's a big sounding hole. That's a big hole.. That's a big hole. That's what a big gaper looks like. You've got to stop saying that.

You have just blindly accused three of our workmates of theft. All for a reason. All for a reason. Okay. I want to talk to all three of them. Just one for now. Okay. Gary, you're on my most innocent

end of the list. Good. Kiotoko, I'm just going to grab the racial background for a sec. That's because he's I just want to go on very good. Gary's not in here because he's the only Maldi that works here. That's not why he's here. Okay. Am I here because I'm the only Australian?

Gary, Australians are criminals, aren't they? Gary, you can go. Thank you for coming. You're not even going to get his witness account. No, I'll talk to him later. That is prejudiced against. In a safe environment. I don't know her.

That is racist. But I feel safe with you. Can't be racist against your own people. Can you? Very confusing. We'll ask Duncan Garner. He seems to be across what constitutes racism these days.

He knows. Ross and Brie, we're going to talk to you next about what happened to my banana. Are we dragging this out another one? Yes. Yes, Friday. A dog plan for this? Vaughan Smith investigates. Bring it up to speed.

A banana piñata was delivered for International Banana Day. Yeah. To myself and my daughters because they love piñatas and I love bananas and there's lollies inside it and who doesn't love lollies? Yeah. However, the piñata was torn open, not the traditional bashing method, and I'm trying to get to the bottom of who in the office did it. Workplace theft.

Theft is a servant. I believe you can go to prison. Yeah. They didn't even believe you can go to prison. They didn't even leave you any lollies. It's been absolutely... Yeah, well, yesterday I heard that, you know, there were still lollies in it, but then today, there's an old balloon.

And wrappers. And wrappers. So they put the wrappers back in to rub it in your face. That's disgusting. Maybe they think you don't need it because you're all fitsbo now. Well, that's very true. But lollies are great bribes

And it's always good to have Lollies around the house So I've got my two main suspects In studio Ross Boss Because he loves lollies I'd like to talk And Brie

You will talk When spoken to You're at my courtroom now And this is My workplace And Brie New And also

A flake wrapper Behind the computer you use Coincidence? I think yes I think Not Bree, new and also a flake wrapper behind the computer you use. Coincidence? I think yes. I think not. Defence, defend yourselves. My father, very respected policeman for a long time.

My brother, a policeman for about 18 months. I don't know how that happened because he's not very respected now. Right. My grandfather, I think, went to war. This offends me and my family. It offends my position in this workplace. You're a bad egg. You're a bad egg. You're the family's bad egg.

Apparently, I'm the boss here, so why would I do things like that? And if it is, Steph is a servant. I'm not the servant you guys are. You're like, I'm the boss. I'm going to rip it open and then everyone else can have the lolly. I don't even like bananas. You are denying that you bashed this piñata open. I am.

When you first saw this piñata, what state was it in? It was in a state. I can tell you very much so. I did not bash that piñata open. But did you eat any of the contents? Now let's define contents. Lollies. Anything that was ever in there. Nothing. It wasn't me.'s define contents. Lollies. Anything that was

ever in there. Nothing, it wasn't me. Ever in there. Wasn't me. The Shaggy defence. It's a good defence. I like your play. It's a hot play.

And it's that the policeman, or he was, he can't have done it. Shaggy's wife literally caught him having sex with another woman on the kitchen floor

and he said it wasn't me and she was like, oh, okay. Great defence. It's working for Donald Trump was like, oh, okay. Great defense. It's working for Donald Trump too. Sure is. Brie. Okay.

Defend yourself. So this is what happened. Recently I started working here. So I have recently read the HR handbook. So I know the rules and regulations of out there in the office. That's my first statement. Second statement, my dad is an apple farmer. Why are we bringing our fathers into this?

Why does it matter what your parents do? And I grew up loving apples. Bananas, I'm allergic. There's not actual bananas. This isn't an actual banana. That's not the point. That is not the point. I thought it was an oversized, some weird New Zealand banana.

I didn't know what was going on. I have nothing to do with it. I'm just going to eat a banana. Hmm. Not allergic. That was a very erotic first mouthful of a banana, by the way. I want to know, behind me in a closed off secret witness protection, I've got someone from the office who actually witnessed what happened.

Okay. So we can put this to bed. This person was fired. Aha! Guilt! Guilt! Guilt! Almost an admission of guilt.

Unnamed office worker, what did you see happen when the banana arrived? Well, I sit in the middle of the office. Oh, hey, Danny. Oh, God. I'm going to put my arms out to be on You're on your 90-day trial, woman. You speak the truth. So I sit in the middle of the office.

I am the seeing eye. I see everything. I can confirm that. Stop, she's going to speak to you. Oh, yeah, yeah, she's helping me. Don't pull her up on that. Go on. It arrived in a state.

It was broken, and Ross really aggressively put his hand in there and pulled it out. Vaughn, it was like when you're birthing a calf. Oh, my God. He treated the small opening on this paper mache banana piñata like a cow's vaginal canal. You understand this being the son of a dairy farmer. Yeah, well, we're all talking about our dads.

I might as well say my dad does dairy farming. But it was like, you know, when the farmer puts his hand in and he pulls out the calf. It was so aggressive. I don't like farms. That's my, I don't like farms. I had something to say. No, no, I'm still speaking.

I'm in the witness stand. No. She was drinking this morning. I saw her. It was whiskey. I am from Hamilton. And then Brie stuck her hand in there. So you've got both of them.

You've got both of them. I said I like to stick my hand in random places. That's not mean. On this occasion. Case closed. It was Ross and it was Bree. But because Ross is the boss and he leads by example, then all the office stuck their hands in there.

Yeah, I bet. And I bet he cheered them on. Can I ask, did Soundkeeper Gary stick his hand in there? No, Gary didn't. Wow, you were really quick to judge him, Vaughn. I wasn't quick to judge him. I let him go. I let him go. But not before you hauled him in. I didn't haul him in. I wasn't quick to judge him. I let him go. I let him go.

But not before you hauled him in. I just knew stuff. I didn't haul him in. It wasn't intimidation tactics. It wasn't prejudice. But what's the punishment? I don't know. Oh, Danny's punishment

is her career. I'm going over to my desk to pack up now. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6. See you next week. back up now.