ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - April 27 2018

Episode Date: April 26, 2018

Vaughan had to stop in at Maccas on the way to work today, This Can't Leave The Room and where did your parents have to drag you along to?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Capture life like never before with the Samsung Galaxy S9. I told you you should have done it, Megan. No, I tell you, that was great. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, siblings that love each other. Oh yeah, Harry and Will. Yeah. Yeah.

It's interesting, eh? He's got to though because didn't William have Harry as his... Yeah, he does. No, I love my sibling. It's just, you know, like ones that want to hang out all the time. And be like best men and... Besties and... At the wedding.

Yeah. It's a weird concept. It's a bizarre concept. It's a bizarre concept. It is unusual. I mean, your best man is literally amongst your best friends and he's choosing his brother. What a

situation. Bizarre, bizarre. What a situation. Alright, Friday morning. We had a bit of a weird week, haven't we, with a break in between. Yeah, break in the middle. On the Royals, we're supposed to get the baby name today. Okay.

I'll be on baby name watch. You'll be on baby name watch. Will that be this, because it'll be the night time in the UK, or will they wait until the morning, kind of our end of the day? They usually wait until the morning, don't they, and put the sign out on the gates. And the guy goes, Hey, hey, hey.

Ding, ding, ding. Rune's husband name. Ding, ding, ding. Right, so either this morning or tonight. Yeah. New Zealand time for the royal baby name. All right, coming up on the show, seven, eight o'clock this morning,

we're going to play ZM's Double Date. $200,000 cash is up for grabs. You've just got to have a birthday to play. It's easy. Friday flashback today. We kick off Friday jams at nine. It'll be Vaughn's pick. You've just got to have a birthday to play. It's easy. Friday flashback today. We kick off Friday Jams at 9. It'll be Vaughan's pick. You've forgotten, haven't you?

You've forgotten. Oh, no, I put one in a calendar. Hold on. I put one in. Let's just see if it's still in there. What's that? It's an incredible forward planet. I know.

I'm really impressed with myself. Nope, not in there. Too much. Too much. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time,

three news headlines for three interesting, unusual, weird news stories. Vaughan, Megan, you must pick one story only.

Headline one, firefighter makes catch of a lifetime. Headline two, man surprised to find popular folding lawn chair illegal. And headline, you know those lawn chairs, you get them and they-

They're two pieces and you slide one into the other? No, they fold up and you put the cover on them. They're like the camping chairs. Oh, yeah. You know they've got a cup holder? Yeah. I've got like three. Yeah, classic.

Those chairs, just so you know what we're talking about. And headline three, nuclear waste, no danger, says plant spokesman Simpson. Ah, yes. Simpson's reference. Simpson's reference. That's what Homer does. Yeah. With the nuclear power plant.

Is it ironic? It's great. I think I want to know about the lawn chairs. You said they're illegal. Someone finds out they're illegal. Well, yeah. You want the story? Yeah. We go to're illegal. Someone finds out they're illegal. Well, yeah. You want this story? Yeah. We go to Canada now.

Thunder Bay. There's a place called Thunder Bay. Thunder Bay. There's even Thunder Bay Police. How cool is that? So badass. Thunder Bay. Well, police brought over a driver in Thunder Bay who had an unusual seating arrangement in his pickup truck. A folding lawn chair where a driver's seat should have been.

Oh, that's why it's illegal. Yeah. The officer stopped the pickup truck on Tuesday afternoon after noticing the license plates weren't authorized for that vehicle. Upon approaching the driver, he noticed a suspicious seating arrangement. I'll show you a photo of the... Yes, sir. I like that, sir. a photo of the... Yes, sir.

I like that, sir. It's your classic... Yes, sir, may I have another? It's your classic folding lawn chair. Which must be... Wow. I always just thought those were a New Zealand thing. I don't know why.

You know, do you just think... Those camping chairs. You know, you just think something's just New Zealand and then you go overseas and you're like, oh, they've got them too. Oh, my God, you have those too. Oh, you must get your stuff from China too. We all do, do we? I see how that works, yeah. like, oh, they've got them too. Oh, my God, you have those too. Oh, you must get your stuff from China too. We all do, do we?

I see how that works, yeah. So, yeah, he was obviously ticketing. That's not the traditional New Zealand green, though. New Zealand loves the green version of that folding chair. Yeah, or your navy blue. Dark colours. Yeah, your dark folding chair. That's like a light kind of a baby blue, isn't it?

The kids have got some character ones. Like a koala one. Right. I think we've got a tiger one. I think we've actually got more character folding chairs than we do children. Okay. I feel like there's three floating around up there. Right.

But we'd never use them in place of a seat in a car. No. That's very, very dangerous. Yeah. Very dangerous. We're always looking to, like, what is the key to a long life? And when an old person is, like, 100 and something, we're like, well, how'd you do it? They're like, I smoked a pack of ciggies a day.

Yep. Or there was a man recently who said he loved lollies. Eh? Yeah. But there is a study that has been done, and this is, like, comprehensive. It's been done over 80 years by Harvard, so scientists. They looked at a bunch of graduates. So this started in 1938.

They had a bunch of graduates. They were tracking their lives and health. Then they expanded it to include their wives, heaps of Boston residents and their wives and then their offspring who are now like in their 50s and 60s. So it's very comprehensive. They track their lives in general, their successes, failures, love, everything they went through with questionnaires and all sorts.

And in later years, they did DNA testing and MRI scans to kind of get a picture of how healthy everyone was. Right. They have found after 80 years of testing that wealth, social class, genetics, IQ are not as important to how long you live as a person's relationships with their friends and family. So if you have a good strong network of friends and family,

good relationship, then you are going to live longer, apparently. They've always said that about Italians, eh? Because there's like villages in Italy that have these incredible longevity, lifespans, the people there. Olive oil. Yeah, that's what we always thought, wasn't it? Yeah, they thought it was their diet, but they've also said it's, yeah, because they

have this great network of friendship and family. Yeah, because they're small villages and everybody literally knows everybody. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, they say're small villages and everybody literally knows everybody. Yep. That's true. Yeah, they say the key to healthy ageing is relationships, relationships, relationships. Now, do like online relationships count? Like Tinder hookups?

No, I was thinking more, you know how you talk to heaps of people online, but then in person you don't really like talking to anybody? Yeah, yeah. No, probably not. Really? No, but I guess it's the feeling you get when you have like a conversation or like... Yeah, you feel connected. No, probably not. Really? No, but I guess it's the feeling you get when you have, like, a conversation or, like, it could be online.

As long as you feel connected and it gives you the... But it's not a real connection, though, is it? That's what they're saying the problem is these days, that people don't have... Like, it's a human-to-human... It's a false connection. It's not a deep, personal connection. Yeah, right. Right.

You could argue with people on that fact, whether it's a real relationship. Oh, I just, yeah, just wonder. Okay. I mean, you're not going to like hug them all the time. Well, no, you can't hug an online Facebook convo, can you? Nah. Pretty hard to. Hug emoji.

Yeah. Not quite as good as a real hug though. That's so interesting. I never thought about Like the Italians And even like Like small villages And Greeks and stuff We always thought

It was like olive oil And nuts and Fish Does Japan still have The best life expectancy In the world Yeah Yeah they've got

The oldest people Yeah what's their Situation relationship wise Sushi Sushi They've got a relationship With sushi Bento boxes We've all got a relationship Bento boxes.

We've all got a relationship with sushi. It's there when we need it. Yum. Miso. Yeah. So what keeps you going that free miso

with your sushi? Sushi. Sushi. You just hang on for one more Tuesday because Tuesday's teriyaki chicken Tuesday. I've just got to get through

to next Tuesday you say and then next thing you know you're 85. Yeah. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello and welcome to today's Top Six. Gmail have announced they will be introducing a service where emails cease to exist. After you send them, you can select that they be sent.

I don't know what they're going to call it. Yeah. Let's call it self-destruct mode. Okay. And after they've been read they will disappear. Does this only mean that will happen if it's sent

to another Gmail account? Gmail to Gmail? Yeah. Maybe, yeah. Because you know at work you can do it. If you send an email and you're like, oopsie, retract. Yep. I never click the button that says, okay, let them retract it. I'm always like, let me read what you've accidentally sent to me. I need to read this because it must be good.

I hope it's about me or a horrendous mistake. But this is so dodgy. Like, when would you need that function? Have you seen Facebook's got secret conversations? Yeah. Have you used them? Oh, not. What's the purpose?

To be sneaky. I guess if you don't want a conversation to have a trail. What are you talking about? In Facebook Messenger, I saw it yesterday for the first time. It says secret conversations. How have you only seen this yesterday? It's been a thing for like six months. What do you go?

Or a year even. Start. Oh no, because I don't know how to send one to you and it says secret. But the other day, yesterday I popped up saying, do you want this to be secret? I'm like, uh, what? And then looked into it and yeah, you can have secret conversations. Yeah, it'll just expire after a certain amount of time. Yeah, it just disappears.

Oh, rumour. Wow. I didn't know that. Oh God, is Mr. Toyboy getting some photos now? No. Top six other things that need a self-destruct function in our lives. Okay.

Number six, hangovers. Yep. I've thought, I think about this, I haven't had a hangover for a while, but I think about this whenever I've had a hangover. Would you take 10 seconds of excruciating concentrated hangover that I don't know what it would feel like,

but it's your entire hangover squeezed into ten what I'm imagining would be unbearable seconds and then you're done. Yep. Totally.

Yeah. Because that was basically me on Saturday morning for the whole day. Yeah. Actually right until the afternoon. You were like

but then if it lasted that long that ten seconds would maybe kill you. Oh okay. Now I wouldn't know. Yeah you didn't say it would maybe kill you. You didn't say it would maybe kill you. Oh, okay. Now I wouldn't know. Yeah, you didn't say it would maybe kill you.

You didn't say it would maybe kill you. It would maybe feel like you were going to die. It would probably make you pass out, but then that's good because then you wake up rested.

Refreshed. I always think that, though. Like a self-destruct motion. You're like, all right, pull, let's do this! And then your hangover's like,

and you're vomiting wildly. Do they have those people that come around with the IV drips? Not in New Zealand. In resorts in Vegas. Yeah, Vegas had that hangover. Oh, my God. Be gone. Someone puts a drip, a needle in your arm,

and you're, like, sweet within an hour. You were on the bus, the music was real relaxing, and they served you, like, orange juice and IV'd you up. Number five on the list of the top six things that need a self-destruct function. Your phone's ability to send messages during the activities that led to the hangover previously mentioned.

Yeah. So your phone just kind of... Shuts down. Maybe you have to breathe on your phone. And it breathalyses you. And it's like, oh, no, no, no, no. Let's shut myself down. I'll see you in the morning.

Beep, boop, boop. Number four on the list of the top six things that need a self-destruct function are all those vegetables that you bought that are in your veggie crisper that you aren't going to eat but don't want to have to deal with. Yeah, they just disappear. They just go. Especially the cucumber. Just goes into a yellow sloppy mess.

Yeah, it goes sloppy at the bottom. Or anything that's in a bag. Yeah. And it all gets like, caught in the bag. Hey, but you had two slices on your salad. Yeah,

yeah. I did all good on Monday. I spent $5 on half a cauliflower with the best intentions. Yeah. The best intentions. Number three on the list of the top six things

that need to self-destruct function, EFTPOS cards from 2.30am onwards. Yeah. To find that's where you start making your loose decisions.-POS cards from 2.30am onwards. Yeah. So find that's where you start making your loose decisions. Maybe get some cash out for a taxi home

or a way to get home. We could Uber home but otherwise it's... I feel like we could take that back to like 1am. Pull it back. 2.30 is like...

10 for me. Yeah. I get a bit, you know, I'll get this round. You know. Yeah, you had 1G and T the other day

and you were like anyone's. Loose. Well that's because it GAT the other day and you were like anyone's. That's because it was three quarters gin and tonic. It was more gin than it was tonic. Number two on the list of the top six things that need a self-destruct function. God-awful thoughts you once had that you thought would make good Facebook statuses.

Yeah. One of those every pops up every now and then on that on-this-day function on Facebook. It's like, delete that. That never happened. And the number one thing that needs a self-destruct function on today's top six, nudes that you send to somebody. If you feel they're going to do anything nefarious with them,

you enter a pin and it just goes on. Oh, yeah, good call. So it's kind of like Snapchat, but the person you're sending them to can keep them. Yeah, until you decide to self-destruct them. You, as they are, naked photos of you, until you decide to self-destruct them. You, as they are, naked photos of you, you can decide to self-destruct them. Like if you're about to break up with them, you're just like...

Is that the sound of your nude photos self-destructing all over the country or the city? Oh no, it was all just on one person. Oh, right, okay. And this was a video. Okay. It was a nude video. That's today's top six.

Written interesting article about choices for young females when it comes to sports, winter sports specifically. Okay. And how netball's just expected of females in New Zealand. It's just expected if you're a female and you're going to play a sport, it's got to be netball. Just like the guys. And how it's not right.

Guys play rugby, females play netball. Yeah. That's just how it's been. Guys do have choice. Yeah. I feel like there was always a soccer team or a hockey team, but thinking back, there was one year where there was two girls that wanted to play hockey, so they just kind of played without a team.

Which blew some people's minds, and people complained about it. People were like, this is a boy's grade, not a girl's grade. But otherwise, these guys don't get to play the sport they want to play. I feel in 2018, surely it's different. In the 90s. I don't know. Right. Yeah, I think it would be different now.

Well, hopefully, with Eliza McCartney and like lots of females doing it. Showing her options. Like her successes cause like a lot of young females to take up pole vaulting. It's amazing. Well, it's like Valerie Adams and Beatrice Farmer went in before her showing girls to get into shot put and stuff. When I was young, I did netball for ages. That was my sport. It wasn't like you were forced into it, but it was kind of like, oh, if you want to play a team sport,

this is what you got to do. But then I got into rowing and I tried to get a school group of female because you can't do mixed in rowing. So I tried to get a bunch of girls to do rowing as a school crew and I couldn't get enough girls to do it. How many did you need in a boat?

I only needed four. Really? Yeah. Well, three others. And Nelson, rowing's quite a big deal in Nelson, right? Yeah, but I ended up recruiting one of our teachers and then two other older women, just so I could

get a crew for our Nelson Rowing Club. Because it was just like, no girls, they were all playing netball and they just didn't know much about any other sport. It was really hard. Well, in this article, it talks about Portia Woodman, who plays for the Black Ferns

and is currently World Rugby Player of the Year. She was also, she obviously just fantastic at sport. Yeah. But loved rugby. But the netball team banned her from playing rugby because she was too valuable to the netball team. If she got hurt, they'd be like, stink now. Did you have a female rugby team?

We didn't thinking about it we did we did actually we did have one because they played my mates low grade rugby team

and smashed them it was pretty great that would have been amazing to see the best part was when he got smashed and everyone was like wow that's

I mean we're not going to say anything out loud because these females are considerably stronger than any of us and all of us combined but we'll laugh at him later in the seclusion of fellow weaklings I mean, we're not going to say anything out loud because these females are considerably stronger than any of us and all of us combined.

But we'll laugh at them later in the seclusion of our fellow weaklings. But I would love to know this morning what sport, from females, what sport you play that kind of blew people's minds. Because I remember a girl came to our school and she was into motocross and everyone was just like, what? I mean, bear in mind this was what, the early 2000s? Yeah. Oh, it was just, I don't think, I think there'd still be places where that would blow people's minds. I had to play softball in a mixed grade because I really wanted to play softball. So I had to play with the boys. Oh, Christine, my mother would not have been happy.

She would have loved my daughter, my sister to have played softball because she was a softball fiend. Yeah. Yeah. No, there wasn't enough. So I just had to play with the boys. But they always let me. Yeah. But, yeah, no girls softball team. If this article's out today, you're reading this article today,

this must be a problem. Well, it's just saying that, you know, if you want to play netball, you play netball. But a lot of kids have expressed interest in other sports or whatever and they're like, oh, look, it's just going to be easier if you play netball. To be honest, after the Commonwealth Games in the last season, we probably need some more people to play netball. Our girls have got to have been flocking to hockey, right?

Yeah. That was an amazing... I mean, that's just how... Yeah, what if they won gold, didn't they? Yeah, they got gold. That's just how easily swayed we are. One gold medal, and everyone's like, yeah! Hop in! We're on the bandwagon. Yeah, they got gold. That's just how easily swayed we are. Won gold medal and everyone's like, yeah, bandwagon.

We're on the bandwagon. Because I just jumped off the Warriors bandwagon. I know, yeah. I was on that, but I'm seated at the back. Right, okay. Seated at the back.

Another thrashing look at the weekend. All right. So 0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. From females listening this morning, we'd love to know what sport you play

that kind of blew people's mind, sadly based on your gender. So a story about netball and how when you're a young female at school in New Zealand it seems like the only option and some people are saying rammed down

your throat. So what other options are? We want to know basically what sports maybe you played as a young female that kind of blew people's minds primarily based on your gender. Yeah, because Megan, you encountered this with rowing at school. There wasn't even a female team.

No, there wasn't any girls available. Everyone was playing netball. Now, because I'm imagining that was what, like the 1950s. Now, there must be a lot. Like 10 years ago. Now, like you see Marty Cup and all the rowing regattas

and it's just as many females as males. Yeah. And we've had the Everswindels and the... We had the Swindells, and then going the other way in the boat, we've got Lisa Carrington. Yep. Oh, yeah. So all these, like, row bottles and stuff. You guys go backwards.

The Everswindels were, like, before my time. You know that. They're not... No, they weren't. I'm not older than them. No one's believing that. No. In the 50s, you had a wooden boat, hey?

Okay. Come on, mints. You were the third ever swindled. They were beef, lamb, and you were mints. Megan's like, eight months. Discount mints. Discount. $10 packets of mints.

No, you know how there's premium mints, and then they call it prime mints. I'll be prime mints. God. Can you please do an ad promoting prime mints? That would be so good. It's rich coming from a couple of sausages. Yeah.

Not even good sausages. A couple of nondescript meat sausages. No, God, no, not good sausages. Chewy shit sizzlers with cheese down the middle. From a free barbecue. So what sports did you play that blew people's minds when you were younger? Helen.

Hi, I play ice hockey. We wouldn't have been able to play that in Morris. We didn't have a big enough patch of ice. Didn't get cold enough. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of required. So were you like the only female at your school that played ice hockey or did you rally the troops? No, yeah, I was the only girl that played in my school.

There was a couple of boys actually that played, but yeah, definitely the only girl. And people were kind of taken aback because you were a female that played ice hockey. Yeah, I think it's got this reputation for being really rough, but women's hockey is actually non-chick, so it's really not. Right, and it's not that Canadian punch each other in the face

until you lose a tooth. No, no. No, that's good. People don't want to do that, no. And are you still playing? Yeah, yeah. So I'm now the captain of the Ice Ferns, the New Zealand ice hockey team.

Oh! Wow. Yes! Excuse my ignorance, captain. Wow. Wow. Awesome. So you get to travel all over the world And stuff now

Yeah we've been We've been all over the place It's not funded in New Zealand So we have to come up With all the funding ourselves Which is pretty hard But we get to go To some really cool places

You should have been Called the Mighty Kiwis Like the Mighty Ducks Oh yes Yeah there was a lot Of debate over the name I think Oh okay

I can use that next time Use that next time Helen thanks for your call. Sarah joins us. What's your sport of choice, Sarah? Hi, guys. Downhill mountain biking. Oh, I've done that.

That's my worst nightmare. Megan broke her leg and she wasn't even moving on the bike. She was on flatland mountain biking. But there was a bit of mud. I stood on mud and I fell over. I get real scared. I'll go real slow down the hill. I'm going to squeak, squeak. Those real scared. I go real slow down the hill.

Squeak, squeak. Those are my breaks. As long as you get down the hill, it's all good. Yeah. No, good. That's it. Is it Crankworks at the Lourdes in Rotorua? Oh, it's insane.

Oh, yeah. I've never actually been to Crankworks, but my boyfriend has, and it sounds like an amazing event. Oh, it's incredible. You're just going up on the Lourdes and you're like, how did I get over that? So how many females are involved in downhill mountain biking? Very few.

So I've never actually competed in a race. But when I go along to watch the races, if you're a girl and you race, you're going to get on the podium. Really? Well, you should race. You should do it. Megan, Megan, you should race. Oh, I'd be lucky to actually finish the course.

Avoid the stump, avoid the stump, avoid the stump. They could give you your medal in hospital. Okay. Is there any sort of, like, not judgment, that's maybe too harsh a word, but when you tell people what you do, for a sport, are people a little bit taken aback? Yeah, I often get told, you know, be careful, and oh, that sounds like

really dangerous, which it is, ooh, that sounds like really dangerous, which it is, objectively, but then I don't really hear people say that to the guys. I was going to say, do they say that to your boyfriend? I'd say that to everybody because they're terrified. Bikes go too fast. But that's the same with, like, girls playing rugby. Everyone's like, oh, it's too dangerous. But why is it too dangerous for girls? Well, I always tell them to look up the ACC stats on rugby injury.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, touche. Yeah. Hit them with them stats. Yeah. Okay. Wow, okay. Hey, thanks. You're called Jamie. I'm a 12-year-old weightlifter. Whoa. That's awesome. I bet you could lift more than me at the gym.

Yeah, how much can you lift? I can back spot 60 kgs. Jesus Christ! 60! Wow. I'm like, I'll just put on a 15 on each side. I'm just going to take it easy today. Wow.

So what made you get into that, Jamie? So I was a competitive gymnast for about five years, but then I stopped and I wanted to keep my strengths up. So I started at a CrossFit place, which is now CrossFit Propolis. And then the guy there wanted me to start weightlifting. Okay. So now I lift at CrossFit Propolis for Epsom Strengths. Wow. Wow.

Wow. That's crazy, Jamie. So what do you want to do? Like go to the Olympics one day or are you just doing it for fun? I will try to go to the Olympics. Wow. Well, best of luck. That's awesome.

Jamie, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. Someone messaged in, they also play ice hockey. As a female at school in Christchurch, they had to play for Shirley Boys because there was no female teams. Nothing was better, they say, than at the end of the match, taking off the helmet and shaking your head. Yes, queen.

Oh, awesome. I was a girl all along. I was a girl playing golf at college, the only girl in the whole school. That'd be good news if your school had a golf trophy. I was going to say if your school had a golf trophy. I was going to say if your school had a golf course. It's sweet. No schools are rocking golf courses, are they?

Even the rich schools don't have golf courses. I don't think so, no. They've probably got discount memberships. Oh, they probably do. Desiree messaged in as a teenager. She was a wrestler.

Sorry, as a kid, she was a wrestler and as a young adult, I now race stock cars. Both sports where females are in a minority and people are always, you know, very taken aback that I am a female that does that. I play football, but I have to play with the boys because there's not enough girls to play. So it's soccer in 2018.

There's still not enough people. That's crazy. And race walking. I don't think that's got anything to do with gender. I just think it's weird that people do race walking. Is that where they do the Kath and Kim? Yeah. That's crazy. And race walking. Race? Is that where you do a fast walk? I don't think that's got anything to do with gender. I just think it's weird that people do race walking. Is that where they do the Kath and Kim bum work and your feet aren't allowed to be off it? Yep.

The ground at all times. Got to have one foot on the ground. They go quite fast. It's got a good hip movement. But again, just run. It annoys me so much. I know, you're almost at a run. You're technically jogging.

Get a little bit more. Gives me shinsments just watching them doing that. It annoys me so much. I know, you're almost at a run. You're technically jogging. It gives me shinsplints just watching them doing that. Somebody else said, I do karate. I started when I was 11. People in high school couldn't believe I'd worked my way up to a black belt. That's kick-ass. That'd be good. That'd be really good. All right, coming up.

Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The podcast. The list has been released of the most hipster cities in the world. So what makes a hipster city? Yeah, what's the criteria? Lots of craft beers.

Yep, sure. Cool little cafe or coffee shops. Yeah, coffee shops. Roasting your own coffee. Vegan eateries. Oh, okay. Coffee shops. Yep.

Tattoo studios. Oh, yep. Vintage boutiques and record stores. And bike hire. Sure, yep, okay. Coffee shops. Yep. Tattoo studios. Oh, yep. Vintage boutiques and record stores. And bike hire. Sure, yep, yep. Fixies. Bike racks. Probably, you know, hipster barbers as well.

Oh, yeah. All those kind of things. Facial hair. Sure. Yeah. Fixie bikes. You said fixie bikes. So that's taken into account per 100,000 residents.

Now, they looked at places all over the world with residents, cities, more than 150,000 people. So obviously small town New Zealand, a lot of small towns, maybe hipster, but don't feature in this. Really? I've never thought New Zealand would have hipster small towns. Accidentally hipster maybe, but not, yeah. Not purposely.

I couldn't think of any So the number one Almost hipster place In the entire world Brighton In the UK Brighton and Hove Or Hove

I don't even know how that's said Really? Never heard of No, neither But I've heard of Brighton Is that within Kui of London? Brighton Hove

H-O-V-E Yeah Okay, let me have a look here That was given a Hipster index score of 8.16. Wow, that's great. That's good for them. Placing it only just ahead of Portland, Oregon.

I was going to say, if I had to choose a place, it would be Portland, Oregon. Yeah, there's the TV show Portlandia, which rips into hipsters, basically. Yeah, so New Zealanders. Where did we come on the list? Well, New Zealand, the most hipster city is not Wellington. Which I think that's...

Because that's what we always say. I'd say... But it would be Auckland then. It's Auckland, yeah. Yeah, primarily on population that have all those things. Yeah, exactly. I think they've just got more of those things. But then, I don't know.

You'd still say Wellington, wouldn't you? Yeah. So, Auckland came in on the most hipster cities list at 230. So way down. Way down. With a score of 3.2. So the winning place was 8. 8 point something, wasn't it?

I'm just looking at Brighton and Hove. It's right on the south coast of the UK. Okay. Yeah, it's directly south of London. Right. Christchurch. It's got big murals on the wall and stuff too. It looks like.

Christchurch in third place, 297. Okay. Third place out of New Zealand cities. Yep. Wellington, 299. So behind Christchurch. Yeah. And Hamilton, 376 born.

Your hometown. There's a bit of a hipster vibe. There's a bit of a hipster vibe. There's a bit of a hipster. Hamilton, I find, really just indulges whatever fad's happening. Right. It's like your little cousin who's just into whatever's happening at that time. Like it really got into skateboarding. Yeah.

Really got into hardcore. Yeah. At once in the early 2000s, got into that rock and roll scene where, you know, when we had the Datsuns and stuff in the early 2000s and the punk then and it kind of just is whatever's cool so that doesn't surprise me too much. So if we want to compare our hipster cities to Australian

hipster cities, Melbourne. Gold Coast was ranked as the most hipster city. In Australia? Yeah, it's 17 on the list followed by Cairns at 92. Hobart 138, Geelong 160, Melbourne 173. Despite being the

hipster capital of Australia, you'd say maybe even the Southern Hemisphere. And Sydney fared worse than all New Zealand cities on the list, bar Hamilton. Ranking at 348 on the hipster cities. I wouldn't say that Sydney's very hipster. No. No, big city, but not. But Malps? I wouldn't have

seen the Gold Coast's hipster at all. It's more of a beach town. More of a... Yeah, I know. Hunkville. Yeah. Hunkville. Where does it sit on the Hunkville rankings? So after that Brighton Hove, what else was in the... Do you have a top five? No.

Went to Portland. Yeah, went to Portland. There. There's no actual, like, long list. I'm sure it's somewhere else, but somebody's broken this down for New Zealand Aussie. Okay. And kind of left out

everybody else. Right. So there's a good... There's where to go if you're a... Have a beard. I think Portugal. Eat only vegan food.

Lisbon is up there. Yeah. Yep. Okay. So there we go. That's the travel plans for the next year now last year you may remember we had food fight the fast food edition where we pitted against each other every

one of our favorite fast foods in a round robin competition that slowly on a knockout competition not round robin because then you carry your points through the next round. It was a knockout competition. And there were different fast foods against each other. Like there were the Wicked Wings. The Wicked Wings in there. Oh, yeah, they were my favourite. We had as many that we could think of

that we really liked. I just could not believe that Nuggies lost to the Cheesy B. The cheeseburger was the 2017 champion. Yeah, beat out the Whopper. Beat out everything. I couldn't believe how passionate everyone got about their favourite fast food. It was an aggression.

The hot apple pie was out first round and that upset many a dessert lover. There were hundreds of thousands of votes. It was insane. I don't know for sure, but it felt like more votes than the general election. It felt like people cared more about nuggies and burgers than they do about politicians and the direction of the country. And who can blame them? You can't eat a politician.

Well, you can. It's frowned upon. Yeah. And they're not chocolatey. All these rules. They're not chocolatey. Well, you can deep fry them. That's up to you.

But in 2018, it's back, but with a slight twist. Fletch Vaughan and Megan's Food Fights. The Kiwi Treat Edition. That's right, Kiwi Treat Edition. We are doing Food Fight again, but this time it's not fast food. It's the Kiwi treats, the treats that we know and the treats that we love. Now, we've actually had three, four meetings after the show in the last couple of weeks.

And they have got really heated too. Really heated about what should be on the list. And none of these meetings actually involved food. We should have got some of this food for the meeting. Food for thought. But we would be having these intense discussions about why there should be a particular Kiwi treat, a food, in a round.

I got an email from someone in a different apartment here going, why are you all screaming at each other in that small room? And I said, we're discussing Kiwi treats. So, I mean, things like pineapple lumps, K-bars. K-bars! K-bars, so good. Fruit juice. The drinks, V and Primo.

Yeah, two New Zealand classics. We are putting drinks against sweets. We're putting sweets against... Savouries. Savouries. We're putting biscuits in the mix. We're putting... Did we put lamingtons in?

No, they got lamingtons. I can't remember. Is that why I got angry? Oh, yeah, that probably was one of the reasons for hated. Isn't lamingtons,ton's like a British thing anyway? Oh yeah, yeah. She's got you. And you're the only one, apart from my nana, that appreciates a Lamington.

Do you appreciate a Lamington? I love a Lamington. Thank you. But it's got to have cream in the middle and a bit of that, a squirt of that jammy stuff. Okay. Is the jammy stuff supposed to look like a cherry? I think so, yeah. It's always like a dot of jammy stuff.

I think so, yeah. A little jammy stuff. So we're going to start on Monday. We're going to, for the next week or so from Monday, have about four rounds a day and it's all voting on Instagram polls. So FVMZM,

make sure you follow us so you can take part. And then, I mean, it's going to take us two or three weeks to get to the final and find a winner. But every day on our Instagram, FBMZM,

we'll have a poll, a couple at least, for our Food Fight Kiwi Treats edition. I would be very interested now just if anybody wants to flick a text message in of their favourite Kiwi treat. Yeah, something that you think has to be included. Because what if we've had these four meetings and we've missed an absolute, you know, there's been a glaring omission.

We've had four meetings. Twisties. No, that's on there. Are they on there? I know there is a dusty, chippy type thing in there. We had an argument. That is a dusty chip. Very dusty chip. Well, we had an argument over should it be twisties

versus rations, but then someone said grain waves. And then I said burger rings. Oh, burger rings. I I know burger rings are champions but I don't believe they're primarily a Kiwi treat but so come Monday just after 7 o'clock

we're going to kick off round one and two we're going to really this competition is going to be fast and it is going to be furious or go Monday

F.E.M. just know that I'll be waiting for you. Ed Sheeran. Happier. On ZM. Fletch for an American.

I just want to explain that noise you were talking about when you've got to use a medicine, but it makes you gag the minute you use it. You go... I've got a sore throat and I've got a squirty medicine. It's a great squirty medicine. It does the job, but it just... It does.

Yeah. It tastes like petrol. I almost had a car crash yesterday, but for a reason that I'm sure people will sympathise with. So I want to talk about that before eight o'clock.

All right. This morning, a few minutes late to work. You've been late a couple of times this week. Have I? Caitlin hasn't been happy. It's because...

There's no real reason. You're just useless. That was unlike me to rock in without a lie pre-prepare or an excuse. This morning I do have an excuse. Okay. Came out of a place that I go in the morning that I don't want to talk about. I went to the gym, brah. Came out of the gym.

I can't even say the G word as reference to something that happened once without the producers all going, here we go. This isn't a gym story. I was coming out of the gym story. Oh, do you go to the gym? No, I took a better. And the fast food outlet by the gym, the alarm was going. That's evil.

How close is it? So I always go in the morning before work. I went one day after work. I walked out. I got burger smell, Turkish food smell, pizza smell, and Chinese smorgasbord smell. I was just like, how does anyone go here during the day? Yeah, impossible.

It's like you walk out and it's like, okay, it's a test. It's a trap. It's a trap. I just went to the gym. I burned all those calories I deserve. Yeah, that you'd smoke your nose and run to the car. Yeah. Nobody told me.

So I came out and the alarm was going at the fast food place. At the fast food place. And I've seen them opening up before, but I couldn't see anybody. Okay. And I was like, well, I've got to do my part. You're so nosy. I've watched the Avengers and it's like, that's the only time I see a superhero movie for about a week. I believe't see anybody. Okay. And I was like, well, I've got to do my part. You're so nosy. I've watched the Avengers, and it's like that's the only time I see a superhero movie

for about a week. I believe I'm invincible. Okay. Yeah. And it wears off, does it? It wears off pretty quickly. You only have to be confronted. You're like, what's going on here?

And someone goes, nothing. And you're like, ah, I'm not Captain America. So I walk around. I slowly approach cautiously. Yeah. I stick my head around the corner and I see somebody in there. Is everything all right? That's what I say.

It's got to be in a burglar. I don't know why I sound like Rhys Darby when I try to be tough. What's going on in here? It's the true Jermaine. Brett, what are you doing in there? Roll call. So everything everything alright? And this wide-eyed

it turns out employee turn around. Okay. And they're like, the alarm won't stop. I'm like, what's going on? And they keep heading furiously. Must have been their first time opening because they were putting in the pin, but then they weren't pressing

The enter key They were pressing the clear key Because you know how keypads are With the numbers And then the bottom row is always like Clear Zero Enter

Yeah So they were like Clear Clear So they were just resetting their pin Every time Yeah it doesn't help When the alarm's like

And I was like I think you're pushing the clear instead of the enter. Enter. Alarm stops. Oh, wow. So in a way, I am Captain America. And then you were rewarded. And I'm like, yeah, what? Like, where are my

vouchers? Fries. No, I wasn't. I just went, on your way. I didn't do anything. I was like, bye. And then I looked at my watch and was like, shit, I'm late. I wasn't. Oh. I just went, on your way. I didn't do anything. I was like, bye. And then I looked at my watch. I was like, shit, I'm late. I've got to go.

I'm going to get yelled at. I am, I'm going to just preface this whole chat by saying that I've never had an accident. I'm a very conscientious driver and I always stop at red lights. I mean, that's just a legal requirement. That's just driving. I haven't killed anybody. That's pretty good.

And you always have knives in your house? I do, yeah. Right there, I could. But I don't. I resist. Okay, well, I just wanted to say that I've never had an accident. Oh, one time I gently rolled back into a scooter. But the guy was like, hey, hey, hey. And I was like, sorry.

Because I thought I might fall off the brake. A gentle nudge. It was just a gentle roll back. But yesterday, you nearly had a major nose to tail. Yeah. A rear end. So I drive a little Mazda MX-5. You would have scooted straight under that bus.

I totally would have. So leaving work yesterday, was driving up. Right near the Sky Tower, there's like a big traffic light, traffic, what do you call it? Intersection. Yes, yeah.

Big intersection. I'm not even thinking back on it. And it's right near TVNZ. Yeah. So sometimes you see like, famous people walking out of TVNZ. And so yesterday, it's right by the intersection,

which is kind of dangerous, because you're like, oh, famous person, but you're supposed to be stopping at the traffic light. So yesterday, it's right by the intersection, which is kind of dangerous because you're like, oh, famous person, but you're supposed to be stopping at the traffic light. So yesterday, the traffic was moving and I was like, cool, we're going to turn the corner. Did you think that before you turned every corner? Cool. No, because you know, like, do you ever think I'm still going to turn even if it goes orange at this point? Oh, yeah, I'm dedicated.

And if you say that out loud, they actually can't give you a ticket. Yeah. I'm dedicated to this. Yeah. So that's what I was doing. I was like, I'm going to turn. I'm going to turn even if it goes orange at this point. Oh, yeah, I'm dedicated. And if you say that out loud, they actually can't give you a ticket. Yeah. I'm dedicated to this. Yeah, so that's what I was doing. I was like, I'm going to turn, I'm going to turn, I'm going to turn. But that's when I noticed coming out of TVNZ was a bunch of guys who, like, had commanding figures, shall we say. Commanding figures. Goodness me, that's a wonderful way to be described.

I hope I'm described like that at some stage of my life. A commanding figure, no, no. That's why I got to aim for it. Aim high. I'm explaining why it, like, caught my attention. These, like, commanding figures, and they were wearing, like, matching dark T-shirts, and they were all quite attractive.

So I was, like, I kind of was, like... Is Mr. Toyboy listening to this? No. Safe zone. Safe zone. So I was like, wow, hang on a second. Who are these people? Why are they wearing matching shirts?

And that's when I realised the bus in front of me had stopped. And I literally almost went up the back of it. And I would have come second best in that situation. How many inches away were you? Like must have been so close to giving it a wee tap. Jammed on. Busters don't generally feel taps either. You can't even feel a tap. You were perving

and you nearly crashed. Who were they? Well, that's when I got a wee message from one fletch. I left the building. Obviously Megan had driven away faster, so when I got to the intersection just outside of work here I noticed them and I thought, they look

like an Argentinian rugby team. The super rugby team. And so I of course messaged producer Caitlin, as I do, and the gays in the group chat, and I said attention, attention, hot gaggle of rugby players from Argentina

outside. So I stand up quickly. Did you actually leave? Well, I tried to. I was like, where, where? You know, obviously trying to be professional. Because I think there were people in the studio to us, so that was awkward.

Okay. But yeah, I didn't see them. Oh, you didn't get to see them? I didn't get to see them. They were very nice looking young men. Because you've changed gyms. You used to go to Les Mills. I know.

And I'd tell you when the All Blacks were in there, but they were going there as well. Oh, were they? It's such a big mistake to change gyms. That sounded really... Sorry. Oh, were they? Good Lord.

Oh, were they? What if we were talking about females like that? Don't act like you don't. Exactly. I don't know what you're talking about. At all. That sounds, again, creepy, Caitlin. Okay, here's a question I want to ask.

Has anyone actually had an accident when they've been perving? A little nudge or a rear ender? Because you've been, you know, you're driving along. I would take it as the highest praise if you're out exercising and then you hear, oh, sorry, like you were such a sight mid-action.

No, but then you never know what kind of sight, you know? Like, oh, it's such a sight. Oh, no, take the positive. No, take the positive. Always take the positive. They're looking at you from behind. So if you've got like a really sweaty face, they're not looking at that. Take the compliment.

Okay. Well, it's never happened to me. So, they're not going to be, they're not looking at that. Take the compliment. Okay. Well, it's never happened to me. So I, no, I just want to know what nearly happened to you yesterday. No, I mean, no one's ever crashed.

Other way around. Yeah, right. Okay. That would have been so embarrassing had I smashed up the back of that bus. Get back to the list

of things I want to have happen. Someone crashed when they're staring at me and then they say to the person, sorry, it was just such a commanding figure.

They could have run across the road and be like, oh my God, are you okay? But it would have been even sexier because it would have been in Spanish. Yeah, Spanish.

Oh my God, are you okay? No. Unless they're in the old El Paso bloody taco ad that don't speak like that. Hey, what's happening? Are you okay? I'm fine. Sorry, Speedy Gonzalez and horrific racial stereotypes

about how Latino people speak. No, I'm not turned on anymore. Commanding figure, yes. Cartoon voice, correct. All right, so 0800DARLS.M. Give us a call or a text now, 9696. When did you have a little crash when you were having a perv? We're talking now about when perving has led to a crash.

When perving has... Maybe you were perving. Maybe you were being perved upon because we've heard from both sides of it. Yeah. Which is nice. Have we heard from the Argentinian rugby players that... What is that team called? Because a couple of people have been messaging asking what they're called.

Really? Are they just the Argentina Jaguars? Yeah, but it's spelt different like A-R-A-E-S or something. Is it? Jaguares. Jaguares. Jaguares. That's such a sexy way of saying Jaguar.

Jaguares. Jaguares. Jaguares. Ooh. So there you go. You can search the Jaguares. And Megan, you gave a fantastic review of the team, didn't you? They're so good at rugby. So good you go. You can search the Hugwadis. And Megan, you gave a fantastic review of the team, didn't you? They're so good at rugby.

So good at rugby. Skilled. Commanding figures. Commanding figures. Commanding figures. Megan nearly had an accident yesterday. Some text messages in. I haven't had the crash, but I'm delighted to say I was the object of a crash.

I was running around Hagley Park one day. Traffic was heavy. I heard a crash. I was running around Hagley Park one day. Traffic was heavy. Yeah. I heard a crash. I looked around to see what had happened. I wanted to catch the eye of the driver of the plumber's van and his apprentice as they rear-ended the car in front. He gave me a sheepish look and a little wave before getting out of the car and dealing

with it. Needless to say, I repeat this story often. Take the compliment, eh? Take the compliment. Yeah, even if it wasn't you. Yeah. Even if it wasn't you. Yeah. Even if it wasn't you. Just linger.

In fact, if you're having a bad day, ego-wise, just linger by a busy intersection. In your outfit, in your exercise gear. In your skim bikini. Yeah, there will be guaranteed to be a crash. I'm going to run a red. Okay. And then you can just totally claim that.

You can have that. Yeah. Laurie, what happened? Mum was teaching me how to drive, and we were in a big field, and there was some guy jogging past who had no shirt on. Apparently we were both a bit distracted so I hit the tree and bent the entire bonnet of my grandmother's car. You were learning to drive in a field, like literally the best place for you to learn to drive and you still hit something.

Yeah, and the car had to be towed and my grandmother, who was out of the country at the time, I had to phone her and tell her that I'd crashed her car, and my mum had to sell her piano to fix it. Oh, no! Worth it, though? Were they, like, that hot? I don't really know, because after that, we were all in a bit of shock. Amazing. Laurie, thanks for your call. All good.

Troy, when did you have a crash from perving? It was just before New Year's over at Mount Maunganui. We were cruising down the main with a couple of friends. Yeah. And did you have a sticker on your windscreen for sale? No, no. Okay. It's quite a modern car.

Okay. Judge Troy. Bit of a girlfriend's car, some might say. Okay. Bit of a girlfriend's car. Yeah, we were just looking out to the left and saw a couple of girls, me and a mate, and then he sort of looked forward, and he was like, oh, very quick, and then sort of looked up,

and there's a red light, so he hit the brake. Then I looked in my rearview mirror, and there's these two little 16-year-old boys on their restrictor doing the exact same thing, and then bang. Oh! So they crashed into you? Yeah, they crashed into us.

And not your fault, because that's a following issue. Yeah, yeah. Exactly, and then even when I went and put the insurance claim, I was talking to the lady, and she was like, oh, were you perving at someone? I was like, to be honest, yeah, we were. That sounds like a trap from the insurance company, that way to get to catch you out.

The perv clause. Yeah, the perv clause. Thanks, you're cool, Troy. Some other text messages in. I was driving in Perth and I saw a sexy surfer crossing the road. It was quite sexy. I had to go for another look in the rear view mirror. Then looked forward again, realised I was going too fast

and a car was running from me, slammed on the brakes, which led to an almighty screech. While an accident was avoided, the surfer waved to me, and I was like... He knew. He knew. Imagine if that's how you met your husband. I feel like that's fateful.

That'd be very rom-com. It would be, yeah. When we were at high school, we were cycling to rowing, and one of my friends got hot, so I stopped to take off her thermal. It caught her singlet underneath, and when she pulled her arms up, exposed the midriff, a Range Rover crashed into the back of a plumber's van. Plumbers seem to be getting dragged into this a lot. A lot of dirty plumbers.

But no, no, actually, the plumber's innocent in this because the Range Rover crashed into the back of the plumber's van and spun it right around. Oh, wow. So then the plumber had spun around in the van and were looking back at my friend who was still trying to get their top off. So while they got crashed into, they at least got to see what caused their crash. Much blushing.

Yeah, I bet. Much blushing all around. All right. Next on the show, Friday Flashback. We do this every Friday. A warm-up for Friday Jams. Vaughan, it's your turn to pick an old banger this week. And you wanted a couple of clues as to what it was.

Well, it was composed in the key of D minor. That doesn't work. Hashtag. D hashtag minor D minor. That doesn't work. D hashtag minor. Is that D sharp? That's not a clue for me. Okay. Lyrically it speaks of a woman who affirms to her man that action speaks louder than words and she is not a woman who is easy to get.

It follows up this artist's less successful previous single, Ghetto. Yeah. No. No, it's not closed from 2007. Both Caitlyn and Anya did dancing to the song.

Caitlyn is a teacher, Anya is a student. Stage challenge to this. Anya. Okay, we don't need to address stage challenge anymore. We know that I didn't get in. Oh, I know who it is. The only time she danced on stage, the only time Anya danced on stage

was when her mother paid for the tuition fee. Sad but true. Or you just like skipped a class and went into the hall. Yeah, boy. Friday flashback. Okay, so this song I heard and I thought to myself, I haven't heard that song for a little while.

And it was a dance banger. It's going to start your Friday right. I'm not promising a sing-along. If you were a big fan, you'll be able to sing along. Okay. I don't think it ever reached. We just gave away $1,000. This better be our banger.

Oh, this is going to be good. This is going to jolt start your Friday. Did you say jolt start? Yep. Jump start. J is going to jolt start your Friday. Did you say jolt start? Yep. Jump start. Jolt start. Jolt start. So New World is going to jolt you to life.

Yep. And start something. It is from the album Ms. Kelly. It came out in 2007 from Kelly Rowland. This week's Friday flashback is work. Yes. All right, ZM. You got it.

You got it. Put it in. No turning back when it's hard to put you through enough to conflict Ain't no coming down from this town, my love, don't go nowhere, that's a fact Look at what you got yourself into Best take advantage, be all that you can be Best take advantage, be all that you can be Cause this could be your last opportunity to move me What it is, baby, get it, baby, get it

What it is, baby, get it, baby, get it, baby, get it What? Get it Let's do it, baby, do it What? Get it, baby, get it, baby, get it, baby, get it What? Get it Let's do it, baby, get it, baby, get it What? Get it

Baby, get it, baby, get it, baby, get it What? Get it Let's do it, baby, get it, baby, get it Don't come around and get my hand in now You gotta get it all the way in I wanna send you away I ain't expecting no excuses, baby

Don't brag about it after you, baby Better blow me away Make a girl wanna stay I just might throw another round I'm guilty, baby. Don't brag about it. I'm guilty, baby. Better blow me away. Make a girl want to stay. I just might throw another round. Get your hands to the groove. Don't forget your move. That's the mental love of me.

What it is? Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it.

Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. We'll be right back. Call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, call me, you are queen. That's big dog you are queen. That's getting printed out and put in the fold down part of your car giving a bad morning and just flip that down

and you're like someone called me queen once. Big dog you are queen. Back up and away with it. Somebody said best Friday flashback for a long time. I'll take that.

See I like it when he reads the text because he's only reading the good ones. No, no, I'll read you the bad ones. Someone says sorry this is shit better songs than this. Now, I can't take a bad criticism from someone who confuses the use of than and then.

Please, if you're going to dis Vaughn, always use the grammar. Someone said, one word, disappointed. That's right. No spelling mistakes or errors there. I'll take that criticism. Someone else said, yes, Vaughny. Not too many people call me Vaughny. Oh, okay. Not too many people call me Vaughn-y.

It's usually a name reserved for the special woman of my life, but I'll let you also call me Vaughn-y. You would say a success then, Vaughn-y. I'm happy with it. Okay, good. Shh, this can't leave the room. Okay, this can't leave the room. We ask you for your secrets.

And, you know, it doesn't leave the room. We ask you for your secrets. And, you know, it doesn't leave the room. That's New Zealand's the room. I like this one today because it doesn't involve other people. Like it's just about the one person, yeah. We're asking you today, my body is different because dot, dot, dot. And we shared yesterday, I shared my far apart tiny nipples. I've got webbed toes. And Vaughan, you're perfect. I don't know. Yeah, it's And we shed yesterday. I shed my far apart tiny nipples. I've got webbed toes. And Vaughn, you're perfect.

I don't know. Yeah, it's hard. Chicken legs. Oh, yeah. That's not different. That's just... It is different. Thin legs.

She's got thin legs. Very thin legs. I don't know what... I saw a mannequin in a store. A female mannequin. Mannequin or mannequin? Mannequin. Mannequin.

Mannequin. And legs like yours thank you and i was like i know i remember you'd be a great pantyhose i remember when we dressed up as the opposite gender yeah and i got many a compliment about my legs yeah and the morrisville college winter stockings they really hugged tight covered the hair the legs looked great. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. You don't have any odd features though. No. Stink. He says, quietly happy that he doesn't. Yeah. Okay, so this can't leave the room, but my body is different because... My body is different because I was born with only one lung, which meant that my

heart moved over to the right side of my body. But I've still managed to do a few half marathons and I've dabbled in CrossFit for a couple of years. Oh, good on. With one lung. That's insane. What if you ever need CPR? You'd be like, oh, on the other side. Or do you just do it in the middle? Oh, you're talking about like the pumpy part of the CPR. I thought you meant the breathy part because you'd over-inflate them. You'd be like, oh, yeah. Half breath. Half the breath to, I don't know.

Would you only need half the breath to do one lung? She's just like, don't go too crazy. I've only got one lung. You'd also need an arrow. Like my heart's over this side with an arrow. So the lungs on one side and the heart just kind of moved over into the cavity left by the lack of lung on the other. Is that kind of what was going on there?

Yeah, sounds like it. It's amazing. The human body. It's a real mystery. Okay, this can't leave the room. This can't leave the room, but when I was a baby I had to have eye surgery. They botched the surgery and now my right eye is completely blind.

What do I... They needed surgery. Blind in one eye. It's kind of cool though. The eye's still there though. Right, so it works. But it's blind. But it works.

Yeah. I'd wear a patch. I've reached an age now where I think a patch would be quite like distinguished. I think this guy works in this building with an eye patch. I know, I've seen him with his eye patch. And every time I see him, I'm like, damn, I don't know what he does. He's got an eye patch.

Damn. Is there a pirate office on the third floor? That is awesome. That's what I'd hope people would, if I had an eye patch, like Thor has got an eye patch. Chris Hemsworth's quite sexy. He's doing a lot for people with eye patches.

He could have a mon for people with eye patches. He could have a monobrow and everyone would be like, hot monobrow. Would they? Yeah, I don't know. Here he is, sexy. This can't leave the room, but my body is different because I have way more body hair than any normal girl should have. But my ethnic sisters will feel me. Isn't that like Armenians too?

Remember the Kardashians going on about how they have quite a lot of body hair? Yeah, but then to say that a normal person should have, I don't think there's any rules on the normal person. If that's how you were born and that's the situation of the circumstance, that's normal to you. I mean, if you're getting it all removed by wax monthly, then yelch, of course, that's a little more tingly. And there's a little bit more.

I just can't leave the room, but I've got a different body. My tailbone is extended and it looks like a little tail at the back. Oh, my God. I've always... Like Shallow Howell. What's his friend? Oh, Jason Alexander's character, Shallow Howell. Yeah, he's got a little tail and a wax.

How much does it come out? Is it this quite common? Could you attach something to it? That's, what do you mean? Like an actual tail just for a laugh or a garden hose? Because I would have one. Yep. I've always said I'd have an extended tailbone

if the technology comes about that I could attach an actual tail to it because there's nerves and stuff in it and it's a little bit of bone. So imagine one day they'll be able to click on an actual monkey's tail. Not an actual monkey's tail, but a robotic tail that functions like a monkey's tail. And then you've got a tail. I would be 100% down for a surgically attached tail. You know that kinky people get into this? Not for sexual reasons.

Right. Because that's what people would assume. Here's my biggest issue with my tail. What is the issue? Do I get it covered in skin or do I get it covered in fur? Because just a skin tail is going to look a bit weird, right? Because you don't often see just a tail covered in sausage.

Yeah. But then if I had a furry tail, that would indicate that the rest of my body is furry. It would be like your leg or your arm. Just a little bit. Ooh, no. No, I'm not having a no, I'm not having a skin tail with a couple of rogue hairs. No.

You might have, you'd have to get a skin graft from somewhere. Where would you get the skin from? No, it would be a covering. I'm getting it furred. No, but it has like a beard, like, collection at the end. A beard of. No, no, see, the beard's got to be the entire length of the tail if it's having hair. But I'd prefer a shorter, thicker fur.

It would look like a sausage dipped in beard hair. Yeah, it would. No, no, I'm going fur. Thanks for having me solve that. Or just like transparent robot. Oh my God, I'm glad you figured that out. Off Spider-Man. Okay.

This can't be the right, but my body's the same because I can turn my belly button from an Ellie into an Ashley. They can turn their belly button. I understood that. Should we have another listen? I've got a replay.

This can't be the right, but my body's the same because I can turn my belly button from an innie into an arty. Wait, it's like when you get your Coke from McDonald's and they push in the diet bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically that person said they can turn their belly button from an innie to an outie. I used to have an outie belly button. Like a button.

So when there's an outie, because I don't believe I've ever come across one, but when there's an outie, you can't just like push it until it goes in. No, no. It's all hard and stuff.

Oh, right. Yeah. Behind it is there's no give. No. Okay. Well, not that I don't know of. I've always wondered how. But I was like a kid when I had mine and then then I had a hernia operation, and I was just

like, hey, just while you're there, can you just pull that in? They did. Oh, did you what? Was that an issue when you were a kid? Well, no, it's just weird. It was just like no one else had one. Yeah. Oh, you've had plastic surgery to have an outie turned in.

It wasn't plastic surgery. It was. It was cosmetic surgery. It was cosmetic. They just get in and they just yank it in. Society. The pressure's got to you. Yeah.

Okay. You know, boo society. Boo. Boo. That's all I say. Boo society. No, I'm so stoked. Because imagine having an outie belly button now.

It'd be weird. I'd colour it in. I said I was outie. Especially if you have a little pot belly and then you have a little nubble nibble. No, I have it tattooed the same colour as my nips. So you've got three nips. I'd say I have three nips. No one's believing that.

And a tail. And a tail. Imagine if you just got like plastic surgery so it just looked like you didn't have a belly button. I've seen that happen. Yeah, you know those

where people lose an excessive amount of weight and they have to have the skin removed? I've seen one where they, I think in the first one they removed the folds and like tucked it all in

and then on a later date they were going to put in the belly button and I saw the photo of the person who had it done but hadn't had the belly button put in yet. Do you get to choose your belly button out of a brochure? Design a belly button. So I'm probably going to get a horizontal slicked one. Go for a Jennifer Lopez belly button.

No, go for a vertical skinny one because then it looks like your stomach's so skinny. Oh, yeah, no, that is the up one. Oh, yeah, the pulled one. The one where it looks like your stomach's so like skinny. Oh yeah, no that is the up one. Oh yeah, the pulled one. Yeah. The one where it's like healthy,

I'm so skinny. Yeah. Yeah, and you see it and you're like, oh that's like the skin's being pulled. Like Kendall Jenner's one

is just straight up and down. Yeah. Oh. God, now I want a bit of belly butter. Me too. Okay. Society,

boo, boo society, boo. I've got one more belly butter. Me too. Okay. Society, boo. Boo, society, boo. I've got one more here. I'll load that up. This can't leave the room, but my body's different because one side of my rib cage goes the other way, so it kind of curves around. Oh, my goodness. I didn't mean that.

So the rib cage goes the other way, so you know how your rib cage bends round? The other one goes out. Or it goes that way. Is that what she meant? Maybe it's convex instead of concave. So instead of like that, it goes like that? Maybe.

Oh, so there's more of like a... Is it like the dip in the middle of the chest? Right. I don't know. Concave. I think they call that a concave. Would it go out? Because that would be... I mean, maybe. I don't know. Wow. Wow. Right. I don't know. Con car thing. We wouldn't want to go out with it because that would be, I mean, maybe.

I don't know. Wow. Wow. Okay. I'm just looking up Ranker's list of the 15 sexiest belly buttons. Okay. Kendall Jenner's number one. Oh, yeah.

See, I told you. Alyssa Milano. Oh, no, that's unusual. Oh, no, this is weirdest belly buttons. Oh. That's not very nice. No. Hey. All right. Gazelle is weirdest belly buttons. Oh. That's not very nice. No. Hey.

All right. Gazelle Butchunchun. Yep. She's got a naughty belly button and she's doing okay. Okay. My people quite like seeing her mid-drift. All right. Fact of the day, regarding paint on a plane.

Okay. The Boeing 747 straight. You're just getting some straight fact in your face today. Okay. The Boeing 747 takes 500 kilograms of paint to paint. So that's half a tonne. Of paint. Wow.

To paint. A 747. That's crazy. I've been, I've talked briefly yesterday about my varnishing and my painting. Yeah. But I got,

that was what got me thinking about this when I was painting yesterday. Your mind kind of wanders, primarily paint-based wandering. That's the fumes, isn't it? That's the fumes, yeah. It's actually very involved with your subject. And I was thinking, like, painting different things,

like massive... Like the Sydney Opera House, I couldn't find any stats on how much paint was involved in painting that. But is that painted? No, that's... Ceramic-y tiles, isn't it? Right, so they just clean that. When you're up close, it's like a real creamy yuck colour.

Yeah, it does look like it needs a zhuzh. Yeah, but I don't think that's paint. I think it's like tiles. Right, okay, because that's why I was wondering how much it took to paint that. That was my initial thought. I know that the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is under a constant state of painting and repairing. Like, they'll never just leave it for six months, six years or whatever, and they'll be like, oh, we should probably give that a paint.

No, they just start painting, and when they get to the other end, they start again and start painting and get to the other end. That's how long it takes to paint. Because is it supposed to be red, but sometimes it looks orange, or is it just supposed to be? It's supposed to be, yeah, that rustic red look. Right. But, yeah, it starts, apparently the colour changes

when it needs to be repainted, and that's when they do the top. But so much painting involved underneath to protect it from the salt water. So I thought about other aircrafts? So in the 1980s, NASA was like, you know what? We're not going to do anymore. We're not going to paint the shuttle tanks white anymore because the shuttle, you know, the... Oh, they're like an orange, aren't they?

Colour, the tanks. No, the... The booster rockets. The rockets that they sat on in the 80s. Oh, yeah. They were white. They stopped painting them and then did the calculations on how much weight they'd saved.

And one of them, they'd saved two tonnes of weight by not painting it because they weren't really getting anything out of painting it. Yeah, just it looked nice. It wasn't particularly, yeah, it just looked a little bit nicer. And the Airbus A380, when they did the initial one of those and they did the coats of paint to make it as aerodynamic as possible, it was seven coats of paint on Echo Delta Delta. And it weighed 1,100 kilograms.

The paint. Wow. So over a tonne of paint to paint an A380. Just the paint alone. Yeah. Oh, my God. If you think about it, that's at least how much extra luggage I want to take on.

Yeah. That's what they're going to charge me for? One less coat of paint and we could all take two suitcases. Maybe you shouldn't have painted the tail wing and I could have bought the biggest suitcase with all my shoes in it. But I guess not. It's being selfish. Tell that to Jetstar when they try to limit my 7kg.

Carry on. It's because everybody wanted an extra coat of paint or something. They wanted a flash nice white plane. So today's fact of the day is the paint from a Boeing 747 weighs 500 kgs. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Day. There's a story about a mother who took her 13-year-old to a formal job interview.

Right. Yeah, she's worn it online, but I don't want to go into that. We don't kind of know what the story is. Well, yeah, she's probably struggling to, A, bring up kids and find a job. Yeah, and find someone to look after a 13-year-old. I mean, we've probably just sort of been left at home at 13 and told not to touch. It's a different world now, Vaughn.

I got left alone at like 11, I think. I think it was 12 when we decided to deep fry something because we didn't have a deep fryer. We filled up a pot with like oil and it was, because you know it doesn't boil like water. You know water's hot because it's boiling. Why is it not boiling? And I went to pick it up and it was hot.

And so I was like, ah, dragged it off the stove and hot oil went whoosh all over the floor. And dad, we're kind of like mid-Renos and like it soaked into the floor. Shit, I got, ah, I didn't tell you what. I bet you you what Goodness me So you can understand why she's taken her 13 year old, spilled a pot of boiling hot Oil all over the floor and started like a fire And had to use the fire extinguisher and then put it back

And didn't tell anybody they'd used the fire extinguisher And then there was a fire and the fire extinguisher Didn't work, that happened too So maybe she just doesn't Want to leave them at home, which is fair enough But I'd love to know from people, like, what you got dragged along to just because your parents couldn't find someone to look after you.

Oh, yeah, right. I used to go to mum's, like, aerobics. Do you remember, like, aerobics, Oz style, whatever? She used to go to aerobics classes and they didn't have, like, a... It was the 80s, early 90s crossfit, wasn't it, really? Yeah, it was, like, grit class and stuff. It was the earlys, early 90s CrossFit, wasn't it, really? Yeah, it was like grit class and stuff. It was the early form of classes. So it just had to sit jazz-sized or something.

Jazz-sized, yeah. There was an aerobics all-star was on the telly and mums used to do it along with the telly in the mornings. And if mum was real rich, she'd buy one of those mini trampolines. Oh, yeah. Oh, your mum had that too, yeah. So I had to sit at the back of the hall. I was always in a hall.

I remember getting dragged to those too and you'd sit there and be like... They'd have the music like... Yeah. Mum's like, won't be long. I'm like, well, it's an hour. It's the same time every week. And you'd sit there.

On a suede. And would she cast a glance over to make sure you hadn't set something on? No. Oh, okay. No, not at all. No hot oil to heat up in the back of the community hall.

Okay, so 0800-DANCE-IT-M 9696, what did you get dragged along to as a kid because there was no babysitter? We went to rock and roll dancing a couple of times because my parents did rock and roll dancing. Oh my god, did they? Yeah, they did. How cute was that? It was pretty cute. At the time we were like, oh god.

But yeah, they got into a bit of rock and roll dancing. Did he pick up Christine and give her a twirl? No, he'd spin around. I remember the basic step. It was like, you'd go side, back, flip, da-da-da-da-da-da. And then you'd, whoa! Oh, God, that would be embarrassing to see. As a kid, you'd just be like, oh, get me out of here.

Yeah, rock and roll dancing. All right, so there was no babysitter. Where did you have to go with your parents? FBM. So we want to know where your parents dragged you along to as kids because there was no babysitter. Wow, some great, it's very Kiwi, isn't it? Very Kiwi.

Left in the car while mum and dad are in the pub. Oh, lots of those texts. Yeah. Lots of those texts. Really? Oh, yes. I'd say that's the most popular answer. Yeah.

Some people's parents let them come in and play on the pokies. Well, some people's parents were running out, like, drinks and chips and stuff to them. And they had a mattress so if they were tired, they could just go to sleep. You could never get away with that these days. You say that, but I bet there's still people who do it around the country. Okay, Trey, we'll take some calls. Andrea, whereabouts did mum drag you when you were a kid because there was no babysitter?

So she dragged me along to, like, one of her dates. Okay. So me and my little brother, I don't know if it was her first date, but we had to go to his house with her. Right. And so we, like, went along to this guy's house with her yeah and they like had dinner and stuff and we like we had to stay over the night there we had never met him oh my god when they had dinner did they have dinner and you like sat on the couch or did you all sit around the dinner

table uh like we well me and my little brother kind of just ate dinner on our own and they done their own thing. Right. But it was, like, a pretty cool house and they had, like, heaps of cool stuff. Yeah. You were like, yes. We just, like, went riding on the bikes

and stuff like that. But, yeah, we had to stay over the night there. Right. So, but, and, but I get, like, I got really, I used to get really bad homesick, so kind of killed probably the moment for my mum and them because I made her come and sleep where we were sleeping. Oh, the guy's like, God damn it.

I was this close. I just wonder why this guy had bikes for kids and stuff. Yeah, I think he had children of his own, but obviously they were... Oh, right, right, right, right. They were in there and they'd been separated. Okay. That was just like...

A good answer. We were the only kids there. Wow. Okay, well, fair enough. Mum was just like, come along. Mum's got to find, you know, a new dad. She's got to let him know, doesn't she? That's part of the deal.

Thanks, Andrea. Gina, whereabouts did Mum drag you along to? Morning, guys. Morning. Morning. Mum used to take me to university in Dunedin to her law lectures. Oh, okay. I was about three, and then afterwards we would go to the Captain Cook,

which now doesn't exist anymore. Is that a pub? Yeah, the Cook. Brilliant. Did you ever get to go there as, you know, an 18-year-old? No, I didn't actually. Oh, that's a shame. We moved away from Dunedin after that, but that was the very early 90s.

I remember sitting on bar stools, eating chips and drinking raspberry and Coke. Yeah, they're good memories, aren't they? Oh, that's a shame. We moved away from Dunedin after that. But that was the very early 90s. Wow. I remember sitting on bar stools, eating chips and drinking raspberry and coke. Wow. They're good memories, aren't they? Do you ever like, do you kind of have a law, like a law degree kind of by osmosis? Well, I actually do sit some law papers, so yeah. Oh, brilliant. You're like, I don't know, I just got to get me a sip of that raspberry coke and I'll

be able to tell you the answer. Like they do, yeah. Remember back to childhood. Thanks, you called answer. Like they do, yeah. Remember back to childhood. Thanks, you called, Gina. Emma. They would take me to the Auckland Property Investors Association monthly meeting. Ew. That sounds like an absolute hoot, Emma.

It was, but, you know, it bode me well. I now own a house in Auckland, so I've got the right to myself. Oh, okay. And God, if Mum and Dad were investing in Auckland property when you were a kid, they must be well off too. Yeah, I think the bank of mum and dad certainly helped me get into my home. But even as a kid, if they were like, would you rather come to this meeting with us or have a packet of M&M's, you'd always be like, packet of M&M's.

I don't want to learn about it. We lived in Thames, so it was like a good hour and a half drive out to Auckland, sit in the meeting. Oh, God. I'd rather go to see Vaughan's parents rock and roll dance. Yeah, me too. Hey, thanks for your call, Emma. Some text messages in.

Yeah, somebody said, I take my four-year-old to get my lady bits waxed every month. Have done since she was born. She doesn't mind. She watches and asks for my cake. Oh, because you're like, yeah. Yeah. All right for me.

Took my toddler to a recent smear test. He just sat on my chest chatting to me. Hashtag mothers who multitask. So you've got to do what you've got to do. Good that you're not putting off the smear test just because you don't have someone to look after the kid as well. Get that done. Correct.

I used to go to my mum's sunbed appointments with her. It was really awkward watching her get naked and hop in a sunbed. Wow. And what do you do while she's in there? They weren't in the waiting room. They were actually in the room. You'd have to wear the little goggles, wouldn't you? No, because the sunbed shuts.

If it's a lie down or a stand up one, it shuts. That's still a bit dodgy, isn't it? Turn away while mum burns or bakes herself and possibly blinds you. I'm going to finish on this one because this is amazing. Okay. My mum is a homicide detective and had to take me with her to walk the route Bakes herself Bakes herself And possibly blinds you I'm going to finish on this one Because this is amazing Okay My mum is a homicide detective And had to take me with her

To walk the route That the killer would have taken What? After a murder She got me to write down All the cameras I could see And so she could request The footage from those places

I thought it was the coolest thing At the time Years later she told me She only took me Because she couldn't find a babysitter And it needed to be done urgently Oh my god Hey could you take some Photos for mummy Just of this dead mangled body Yeah if you find any footprints Years later, she told me she only took me because she couldn't find a babysitter and it needed to be done urgently. Oh, my God.

Hey, could you take some photos for mummy, just of this dead, mangled body? Yeah, if you find any footprints, you take a photo. Mum's fine. Yeah. Oh, my God. That is incredible. Mini detective. Do you imagine being in the back of the police car and then mum has to do a pursuit? Buckle up.

That'd be great. So much fun. And you'd be playing with the sirens. That'd be the greatest. Oh, no, because if she was a homicide detective, she wouldn't be in there. No, but they have mufti cars, so they still have sirens and stuff, don't they?

But it's not as exciting. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. ZDM.