ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 03 2018

Episode Date: August 2, 2018

This Can't Leave The Room, Friday Flashback and what did you get a tutor for?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi, a gig a day, on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I don't like it when we get used as the example. No, it's always another country, isn't it?

Like Apple, the first trillion dollar company. It's revenue bigger than New Zealand. Well, actually, the official news and the official wording in that news story

was higher than New Zealand. So, yeah, right. Because normally they pick a tiny little South Pacific country or a backward third world country. Yeah.

They're like, oh, more money than this tiny, shitty country. I assume it meant higher than like our GDP. GDP or all the money in New Zealand. I hope Apple employees aren't higher than New Zealanders because New Zealanders aren't known to get high and they should be concentrating on designing Apple products. True.

Now, coming up on the show today, Vaughn, you're packed today for Friday Flashback. You've got to live up to the hype of last week's Friday Flashback. Don't act all confident now. We all saw the video. No, I was always confident, Megan.

Yeah, I don't know. I've flustered you, haven't I? Yeah, I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I've flustered you, haven't I? Yeah, I'd totally forgotten until about two seconds before we went on air and someone pointed at me and said, your Friday flashback. I was like, oh, duh. Oh, no. Oh, no.

All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan megan pick one of the news headlines and we delve into that story headline one town cop out headline two wedding video maker wanted and headline three lemur found in the hotel minibar oh lemur found in hotel minibar. It's a little monkey. That's pretty awesome. How'd that get there? But it was obviously a pet or something, right? Or lost or maybe somebody put it in there.

What was two again? Wedding video maker wanted. Okay. For what kind of video? And headline one, town cop out. I want the wedding video. Okay, wedding video. I feel like the Lima one will just be sad.

Okay. Yeah. You don't want town cop out? No. Okay. We go now. No, you've picked now. It's too late.

I've opened it. A British couple have advertised on a UK odd job site for a wedding videographer for their wedding, which is coming up quite soon. September. It's only a month or so away. What's happening here? What's the catch? Now they have offered, I don't know how much wedding videos cost. I don't know if you'd say how much yours cost, Megan.

It depends. Right. Totally depends on what kind of thing you get. You want a really good one. They're not cheap. Thousands. Yeah, thousands. If you've got a really good one. So $3,700 US dollars. For the... Is their budget.

Is what their... Well, that's what they've said they're willing to pay in this ad. That's quite a bit. You need to be a film professional willing to work from 1am to 3am on their wedding night. 1am to... Right, I see what's happening now. I see what's being videoed here.

They don't want their wedding... I mean, maybe they've already got a wedding photographer and video maker, but this particular videographer will be filming the after party. The consummation of this relationship. The consummation of the marriage. Yes, because that is what they want. Wow. Is it their first time?

Have they saved themselves for marriage? I don't doubt it, Vaughn. I don't think a first time is going in with video cameras. But then why do you want to video it? Well, in the ad, it says both myself and my fiancee believe that your wedding day shouldn't just be limited to a day. And actually, your wedding night is just as important. Right. Since we got engaged, we've both been in agreement that we want a videographer to film our wedding night.

But unfortunately, we haven't been able to find anyone willing or who we've felt comfortable enough around. Of course, your wedding night's important, but it doesn't mean you need to film it. But I mean, like each to their own. My worry would be, like, how do you... Just being able to perform sexual at the end of such a long day is something. How do you guarantee you're not just going to get some creepo that's going to make a copy as well? Well, it goes into privacy requirements.

It's for the couple's eyes only. Obviously, after it's been edited. I don't even know if they want it edited, actually. They might just want the raw footage. Right. And they might edit it. They edit themselves. Yeah.

But obviously, yeah. Drag that into Final Cut Pro. Chuck a couple of filters on it and some titles. Exactly. I don't need to see that. No, I don't. I don't need to see that, eh? I don't want to see me in a video.

No. The internet's there with really hot people on it. Yeah, with hotter people. Don't worry about it. I don't even to see that, eh? I don't want to see me in a video. No. Like, the internet's there with really hot people on it. Yeah, with hotter people. Don't worry about it. I don't even want to see me doing that. No. Yuck. Not at all.

Yeah. Sometimes you see, you know, like, somebody who might have had ambitious thoughts about making their own home recordings, and you're like, why'd you do that for? You should nay have, sir. You should nay have. Yeah. You should nay have. Yeah, no thanks.

Okay. There's some bad news for men and women with beards. Be anyone with a beard. I didn't want to feel like I was being exclusive. Thank you. So you may think you look cool, but anyone who has to kiss your face is not going to be happy. Why?

Because. What? Like I just said, you kiss your dog. No, I don't. Some people do. I don't. Yeah, some people kiss their dogs and then they're like, oh, I've got a problem kissing this guy because he's got a beard. It's scratchy, but you've just had the tongue of something that's been on its own ass on

your face. Double standards. This is from a microbiologist. He knows what he's talking about. He has done studies where he has swabbed beards to see what bacteria exists in there. And he said that many beards contain more poo particles than toilets. What a load of bullshit.

You were just touching your beard though, weren't you? Yeah. And if you hadn't washed your hands or you touched a door handle, whatever, all that's transferring to your beard. But then that would be the same. I could say the same thing about hair. Yeah.

You know, you play with your hair as much as I touch my beard and I wash my beard as much as you wash your hair. Well, I think yours would be the exception because he's saying people don't tend to their beards enough. Oh, that's not a real beard fan. A person who respects the beard, owns the beard, cares for the beard, will always shampoo and condition the beard. So you're an exception to the rule.

Oh, yeah. They get stinky because, like, if you think about it, you didn't wash it. And there's always food around here. Yeah, that's nasty. He said that if that amount of fecal matter was found in our water systems, they would be shut down for disinfecting. That's how bad it is on those beards that he tested. Disgusting.

Yeah. So he said washing your hands is very important because people with beards touch their face so much more than normal people. Right. And we touch our face like, how many times is it? Like a hundred and something times a day. Because we're always stroking our beard while we think. Yes. Twirling. Avoid playing or twirling

with your beard. It is nice to touch when I've had a beard. I'm always just like hee. Did you hear that? Because you always twirl your beard. No, I've got it short at the moment, so I can't really, but when it's long, that's one of the reasons I cut it short.

It's because it's so annoying, you find yourself playing with it the whole time. Because then if you're not washing your hands constantly, you're putting all that bacteria into your face and into your beard, and then you don't wash your beard, and it's nice and warm, it gets moist from food and drinks,

and think twice about... Bacteria having a great old time And think twice about kissing someone in bed. But also like a little bit of immunity there as well. Just a little bit of a bacteria around. Is it? It gets your body used to having the bacteria and it develops its antibodies. And boom, we're better people.

Stronger, more resilient humans. Just keep telling yourself that. I shall. Imagine going in to kiss someone with a beard and then being like, Oh, you get the smell. Oh, yeah. That. I shall. Imagine going in to kiss someone with a beard and then being like, Oh, you get the smell. Oh, yeah. That's our stage.

The smell would hit. FEM. ZM. There is a scam doing the rounds where people are demanding money or Bitcoin, money in the form of Bitcoin. Otherwise, they will release footage of you watching pornography.

So I guess they're saying they're getting it from your computer while you're... Like people's search history or cameras? Yeah. You have heard of the scam? So when the camera turns on while you're at it? Well, either that or they get hold of some of your files or your internet history and hold it to ransom. And they will release it if you don't pay them. Right.

Because this happened to a woman in Napier. She was asked to transfer $4,000 worth of Bitcoin or $4,000 worth of Bitcoin into an account or the footage of her watching porn would be released. Because it doesn't have to be porn. A school in New Zealand, I think it's in the North Island somewhere, they had all their school files locked down

and held to ransom. That's right. And they were like, pass the ransom or we're deleting everything. And they decided, oh, well, it's just a maths test. What did they happen with that? I think it's just a couple of days old.

I think it's ongoing. Oh, right. Not too sure. Good Lord. But yeah, I mean, that's probably, I mean, there might be some important documents on there, but oh, well, just delete the maths test.

We'll find some more. Yeah, we'll make up another one. Yeah, great news, but oh, well, just delete the maths test. We'll find some more. Yeah, we'll make up another one. There's lots of maths that exist. Yeah, great news, kids. You've got to do the maths test again. Boo, we hate hackers. So to turn them against them. So this woman, she didn't get scammed.

She knew they were taking the piss because she said she's never watched porn in her life. She's Christian. She has a really good relationship with her husband. We do everything together so I knew it was BS. Apart from watch porn, apparently he's doing that by himself.

No, she says he's not. Do you reckon there's like men out there or like husbands that don't? Well, your husband doesn't, does he? I don't know what he does when I'm not around. Maybe. You've changed your tune.

No, my last husband. You're getting confused. My last husband was like, no, I never, never watch it. And I was like, hmm. He was lying, wasn't he? I think so. But do you think that there's, like, would there be legit guys out there who don't? I do not know.

I just don't think a guy like that exists. I could be wrong. No, I reckon there would be. There would be people who are against it, you know. Yeah, religious people would be. Yeah, but then those people always get called out later, eh? They just do it on the sly. The guiltiest dog always barks the loudest.

That was my granddad's favourite saying, and it just adheres to so many aspects of life, but often the guiltiest dog barks the loudest. That was my granddad's favourite saying. And it just adheres to so many aspects of life. But often the guiltiest dog barks the loudest. Yeah. So that's filth. You shouldn't be watching that. Well, that and this woman and Napier's husband does not. Mind you, I'm pretty stoked about fibre.

Pretty stoked about fibre being put on my street. But I won't be using it for porn. I'll tell you what. It's filth. It's evil. It's Satan's work. Yeah. So this woman and Napier, her husband does not.

And they didn't pay the scammers. Good on her. You can imagine the email back. Because what, did they contact her via email? Yeah. How dare you? How absolutely dare you? We don't watch pornographic.

We haven't watched any pornographic material since the VHS of the 80s, and we were curious. And a couple of rogue magazines we got from a service station in the late 70s. Never on the computer. No! The Top Six

with Vaughan Smith. The Top Six today are the top six Kiwi companies that have totally not just made up to get some money from Leonardo DiCaprio.

All Birds is a footwear company from New Zealand. It's developed a carbon negative green ethylene vinyl acetate, EVA for short, foam. It is derived from sugar cane sourced from southern Brazil. So it's not actually made from petrochemical stuff, most of the plastics. Which most jandals are.

Yeah, so I guess when these jandals are finished, you just throw them into the ocean and they float back to Brazil. It's a, what do you call a like side thing of the sugar industry? It's a byproduct. That's the one? Byproduct of the sugar cane industry. Yeah, and it can be turned into a plastic. Although, how's that eco footprint getting them from Brazil to here?

I mean, I suppose everything's going to get to here. Sailing ship. Okay, how's that eco footprint getting them from Brazil to here? I mean, I suppose everything's going to get to here. Sailing ship. Okay, right, great. That's also made of the foam. Okay. Because foam floats.

Yeah, handy. Super handy and using the power of the wind, which, as you know, because of global warming, the winds are more, you know, vicious than ever.

So, Leonardo DiCaprio has invested in this company. Yep, he tweeted saying, proud to be an investor in At Allbirds, a company dedicated to creating a more sustainable future by developing new materials and serving as a model for the footwear industry.

Co-founded, by the way, by former All Whites Captain Tim Brown. Oh, okay. And so then did Leonardo DiCaprio get on his private jet and guzzle some more jet fuel? We're not sure about that. We don't know what's happening there. He's an eco-warrior, but he gets a bit of stick for his private jet, doesn't he?

And his luxury yachts. But we've all flown on, you know... A plane. A plane, and we know we'd all rather be on a private plane. And he's still doing more than the rest of us. Yeah, but he's got to to offset that carbon footprint from that private plane. Yeah.

So here are some companies that I totally just didn't make up to try to get some money out of Leonardo DiCaprio. He seems to be investing in all of these sorts of eco-businesses. Yeah, he can invest in me. Oh, that sounded sexual. If Vaughan had said that about a hot... I didn't mean it to be sexual. Okay, what if it was the other way around?

It was Kate Beckinsale and I said, who, by the way... I said, I'd like to invest in her. No, she can invest in me. No, but I can't invest. Well, I don't know if she could invest in me. She could. No, it wasn't sexual. It could be sexual if he wanted it to.

Consensual. I don't have an open for options. Your one actually sounded creepier, Megan. I don't know why. It's Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm sorry. No one here would deny him. His current girlfriend

was six months old when he made Titanic. Let's not get into that. And he's one year older than her mum. Is he? Wow. Well, my husband was three

when Titanic went on. I was watching Titanic in the cinema, so let's not talk about it. Yeah, but you were a teenager. You weren't the star of the film. That's true. Well, he was a teenager

in the film. But he wasn't an You weren't the star of the film. That's true. He was a teenager in the film. But he wasn't an actual teenager when he starred in the film. Yeah, he was. No, he wasn't. No, he wasn't. Leonardo DiCaprio would have been in his 20s when he filmed Titanic. Titanic came out in 97. Oh, he was a teenager in...

Basketball Diaries. What's he to Gilbert Grape? Romeo and Juliet. Romeo and Juliet. All the movies. He was 22 when he co-starred alongside Kate Winslet in the film. And she was six months old. Okay.

Okay. He wins. Number six on the list of New Zealand companies that I totally just haven't made up on the spot to get money from Leonardo DiCaprio is ice jars. Okay. They're jars made of ice. Okay.

You have to buy the ice jar and get it home really quick and put it in the freezer. And it'll hold whatever's in it as long as it's still in the freezer. And when you're finished, you simply leave it in the sink and it turns into... Water. Bingo. Brilliant.

Biodegradable, baby. And Leo, if you're listening, you can buy in on this one for $5 million. Okay. Right. Number five, biodegradable scissors. How many times do you go to buy scissors and you think, oh my God, how many thousands of years are these going to last? Yeah.

Too many. I've never thought that. Hard steel, like plastic handles. Yep. Well, these scissors, these biodegradable scissors, I call them cocoa snips because they're made of coconut husks. Okay. A byproduct of the coconut industry. You can buy in- You get sharp with them, quite sharp of coconut husks. Okay. A byproduct of the coconut industry.

You can buy in. You're sharp with them quite sharp. Yeah. Thanks. Okay. You can buy in for $2 million. Okay. Right.

Number four. Hey, guys, when I say shells, you probably think, ouch, I stand on those and they hurt my feet. I see shells. Oh, yeah. Well, what if I told you that if you smash them down enough, you can make them a dust that you can turn into shoes to protect your feet from shells. Using

shells. And when you're finished, throw them back in the ocean. Shells. I call them shell shoes. Shell shoes. Jingle goes, she shall sue, she shall shoes by the she-shore.

You can buy in for $8 million. This is the top six companies that I totally haven't invented on the spot to try to get some money out of Leonardo DiCaprio. Number three, if I drew a Venn diagram of who likes skydiving but also likes saving the oceans from single-use plastic bags, those circles would have a huge overlap. Yeah. And in the middle, I'd like to introduce my latest business venture,

plastic bag parachutes. We get plastic bags out of the ocean, dry them off, sew them together, probably double bag it. Yeah. And make a parachute and voila, plastic bag parachutes. Making a single-use plastic bag at least a double-use plastic bag. It'll cost you $5 million to buy in. We need to get some sewing machines.

We do, yeah. Number two on the list. It's a childhood classic. Number two on the list of the Kiwi companies I totally haven't invented on the spot to get money out of Leonardo DiCaprio. Gosh, we go through some tires, don't we? As soon as they wear down, we take them off our cars and throw them in the ocean and stuff. Not our problem.

Yeah. Well, it's the fish's problem. Yeah. And we can make them not the fish's problem by making them all into swings, tire swings. We all grow up with them. Yeah. You get your dad to cut the top bit out. Yeah.

Then sand off the steel-bounded radial part because that'll cut you to ribbons. And then you hang it in a tree using some ropes made of tyres too. Yes, you did right. Tyre swings. This will cost you $4 million to buy into, Mr. DiCaprio. And the number one business today that I

totally haven't invented to get money out of Leonardo DiCaprio. Hey, Leo, do you like wind chimes? Sure you do. Oh, Leo, well, I've got you. Do you like reusing aluminium cans? You do? Great. Then, boy, oh, you're going to love old aluminium cans repurposed into planes and stuff that

you hang outside your house on your veranda that bang together and make a noise. I'm pretty sure the Nelson markets have beaten you to that. Yeah, they have. I know. I'm going to... They've got helicopters, too. Are you going to do helicopters? I'm going to buy them off. Oh, right. Okay, I'm going to don't tell anybody. They've got helicopters too. Are you going to do helicopters? I'm going to buy them off.

Oh, right, okay. Sell them in major cities, big metros. We know that it's a lengthy name for a business but it's a work in progress. It'll cost you $2 million to buy into

or a few slabs of beer to get in at ground level. We just need the cans to really get production on that sort of scale started. That's today's top six. These are British stats but like we said moments ago, it would translate, I'm sure,

to how millennials are using their phones in New Zealand. Yep. So this is phone and internet use. Those between 18 and 24 are apparently the most addicted to the internet. So there's social media heavy users. Two in five adults, is that 40%? Yep.

Yes. Yes. 40% of adults are using a mobile phone within five minutes of waking. What do the other 60% do when they wake up? No, well, I wake up and I just get ready. I don't even bother with my phone. No, the first thing I do because I turn my alarm off.

I have to turn my alarm off. So instantly I'm on my phone. You grab it, you swipe your alarm off, and you have a look if you've got any notifications. No, I'm on a tight schedule. Get up, do my hair, do my makeup. I allow in my schedule, 30 seconds to a minute, to sometimes two minutes.

Oh, is that all? To go through the phone. Yeah, a bit more than that. You think it's a minute. That's when I'm late, is when I've just been on my to sometimes two minutes. Oh, is that all? To go through the phone. Yeah, a bit more than that. You think it's a minute. That's when I'm late is when I've just been on my phone for five minutes. Yeah, see,

I don't think I'm as bad as these stats. I would be the other side of the coin. But apparently, the average adult looks at their mobile phone every 12 minutes. While they're awake. So that would be waking hours,

I'm sure. Yeah. Otherwise, it would be. I would have thought it would have been way more than be waking hours, I'm sure. Yeah. Because otherwise it would be. I would have thought it would have been way more than every 12 minutes. I probably only look at my phone if I get a notification. I actually don't have my phone on me all the time. I'm really bad though. Yeah, well you never answer calls.

I just leave it places and don't answer it. And I just come back and check it later. I'm not as bad. So you're a bit less. Yeah, but apparently women are spending more time online than men. They have overtaken for the first time. Really? Because I think it might be the rise in online shopping.

Even doing groceries and everything. Not to say women are the only ones who do groceries, but the rise in online shopping. Online shopping would probably be more towards females because we love to shop. Okay. Just like the time spent. If a guy wanted to,

like if you wanted to buy something online, you know what you want, you find it, you buy it. Yeah, that's true. Whereas you... Whereas we peruse for hours. And I feel this is a very broad stroke of the brush, and surely it doesn't apply to every female, but I think females is a very broad stroke of the brush, and surely it doesn't apply to every female, but I think females invest a bit of time on social media looking at stuff they don't like.

Yes, that's true. Whereas men don't. Well, that's true for me. The guys I know don't. Yeah, I don't hate following people. I don't particularly like, or like follow someone, I'm like, oh my God, look at this. Yeah, whereas I think you're right.

Yeah, I think I know more women do that than men. Yeah, because you're on Instagram and you're like, oh my God, that's amazing. And then you click through to the website and you look through like makeup palettes for hours and then you're like, I'm going to put them all in my shopping cart and then I close it all down. But why do you follow people you don't like? That's what I don't get. No. Do I still do that?

It's how you're following. You That's what I don't get. No. Do I still do that? How do you follow them? You do. There's a few people. No, that one person you're thinking of, I don't follow them anymore because it was unhealthy. It is unhealthy. It is unhealthy. That's what I'm saying. Because you scroll through and you're like, ugh, not liking that.

I'm making a point of not liking that. No, I don't do that anymore. It's like the virtual version of, you know, when someone annoys you, then every single thing they do annoys you. Yeah. It's like that, but it, you know, when someone annoys you, then every single thing they do annoys you. Yeah, yeah. It's like that, but it's completely escapable. Yeah. So you should cleanse today, guys.

Guys. Cleanse. Cleanse, okay. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The podcast. As a man that this weekend plans to spend a few hours at least playing Fortnite, I could actually get right behind this idea.

Apparently parents are going to be enlisting tutors to help their kids become better at Fortnite. What? Fortnite, the online battle royale game where 100 enter and 1 leaves or

100 enter and 4 leave if you're playing squad mode. Or 2 leave if it's duos, I could go on. But anyway, the game that's kind of taking over the world, apparently parents are hiring coaches to help their kids get better at Fortnite. Wow. Your thoughts. Why? Because their kids are getting beaten at it and they're like,

Mom, I can't get any better. So these are rich parents. Well, here's my thoughts. This is to put it into perspective. My parents wanted, when we were growing up, they always wanted us to play the sports that we wanted to try. Like if we wanted to play golf, they were like, okay, and they bought some secondhand golf clubs and we went and played golf.

When we wanted to play cricket, we got cricket stuff and went and played cricket. And if we're no good, the neighbour was quite good at cricket, so we got some cricket coaching. So how's it different to kids wanting coaches and to better themselves at playing Fortnite? Because you're sitting on your fat ass. I tell you what, there is going to be a Fortnite, a worldwide Fortnite competition,

and the top prize money is $100 million. What? Yeah, but what are the odds of you winning that? Yeah, but what are the odds of any kid playing in the IPL when they start playing cricket when they're 11? They just want to be better at it. When you're playing sport, though, it's, like, good for you. Why is it?

But it's good for the brain to be playing. No, but also, I was just going to say, if I was terrible at a sport, Mum would be like, try something else. Yeah, yeah, move on. Do something else. It's just not meant to be. Move on. Get out. She wouldn't give me a tutor. Yeah. How much do they charge? You like, try something else. Yeah, yeah, move on. Do something else. It's just not meant to be. Move on.

Get out. She wouldn't give me a tutor. Yeah. How much do they charge? Do you suck? Try something else. I don't know. There's no like,

I guess because it's a new area, there's no like set fee of what you pay. But like what, 20 bucks, 25 an hour? An hour, yeah,

that's sort of an hourly rate. Do you reckon you're good enough to charge someone? Nah, like I could, well I couldn't teach Fletch when we were playing. It was one of my communication subsystems. But I could, well I couldn't teach Fletch when we were playing, it was one of

my communication systems, but I could tell you the basics about a play, but these kids obviously know the basics. Yeah, Fletch is pretty unteachable

though. He just wants to run away with you. Yeah, no. Run away with a gold scar and then throw it away and pull out your pickaxe

for a major battle. Did you guys ever have like tutors? Nah, I didn't need one, I was so smart. I probably should have had a maths tutor tutor because I was so rubbish at maths. Right. I was so good at maths and then I got to like, what is it?

Years, the fifth form. When they did the letters? No, as soon as I, there was cute boys. Oh, really? And then I was like, nah, this maths sucks. I'm going to throw letters at these cute boys. Instead of concentrating on maths. Yep, and then it all went out the window. I was like, nah, this math sucks. I'm going to throw letters at these cute boys in class. Instead of concentrating on maths.

Yep, and then it all went out the window. I was so bad. But it used to be really good. So you would have benefited from a single sex school? Well, yeah, I didn't. And I'm still rubbish at maths. Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're still rubbish.

Okay, good. But there's no helping you. Co-ed, single sex. You're beyond saving. Yeah. True. I had an English, again, this was just someone in the neighbourhood, though, that was an English teacher that I, yeah, last year in high school,

I had an English tutor. Did you? Because my English teacher did not like me at all. So, right. Yes. I wonder why. Well, I was arguably smarter than her. I did extra geography tutorial

But it was just with my teacher But it was like at 7 o'clock at night And there was lots of us There was lots of us I was going to say No there was a group of us Lauren and I both just said Whoa

7 o'clock at night But there was lots of girls Actually it was all two girls Oh dearie But I think that's because We cared about our education. The guys are just like, meh. Yeah. I'm still rubbish at geography.

Right. What were you learning in geography? I don't know. He just kept pointing at Australia. He was like, it's Australia! It's Australia! It's Australia! Now, what country is that? Brazil? Australia! It's a slow process.

Can we take some calls? Did you have a tutor when you were at school? Yeah. And for whatever, maybe it was for something a bit different. Maybe it was for a sport. The more different, the better. That'd be awesome if you had a tutor for something really left field. If there are Fortnite tutors,

there must be tutors for some weird, unusual hobbies and sports. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe it just was for a school subject and maybe you got really good or maybe it wasn't worth it. Often it's those niche areas

where people need to fund their ability to do it where they end up tutoring younger people in the same field, you know? Languages and stuff. Yeah, so then they get paid, and they can continue to focus on what they're passionate about. Okay, well, 0800-DARCENM9696, have you ever had a tutor for something a bit unusual?

Because you reckon there would be? Because you're maths and you're English, that's kind of standard. But maybe there was like a hobby sport or a sport, and you got a tutor. What was it for? FEM. Growing up, Fortnite tutors are now a thing where parents, rich parents,

are paying people who are good at Fortnite to tutor their kids who just want to win. Just want to, I had, just want to win. Was it yesterday I had a win? Or was it the day before when I got that solo win? God, it felt good. I can see what,

It was the day before. The day before yesterday. I don't think we got any wins. No, no, we had a shot. We had a pretty bad day. We had a bloody awful day. Do you play each other every day? Lately, yeah.

Yeah. We've been playing. No, we don't play each other. We play with each other. As a team. That's cute. We team up. That's cute.

That's super cute. Super cute. Oh God, I can see why you'd want your kid to experience that jubilation. What a great, what a great having a win. That's the thing, like, you know, now parents are always like, you can do anything, little Timmy. But little Timmy can't.

Little Timmy is rubbish at Fortnite. Well, little Timmy enters a medium range battle with a shotgun. Come on, Timmy. Switch to an assault rifle, my boy. This is why he needs Fortnite 2, dog. And build, Timmy. Switch to an assault rifle, my boy. This is why he needs the Fortnite tutor. And build, Timmy, build!

Okay, at least the rich parents are getting him tutoring to learn how to get better. They're not just giving him money so he can buy the best guns and best everything. No, you can't buy, you can't, Megan, please, no.

Sorry, is that my ignorance? You can't purchase victories. You can't purchase victories, Megan. You can buy a golden... You can't buy a golden scar, Megan. You've got to find it. Oh, okay. So we want to know...

We'll take it from the corpse of your enemy. We want to know if you had a tutor for like a hobby or a sport growing up. Yeah. Something like that.

How's this? Okay. A text message in. My parents got me a tutor for the entire duration of high school to teach me next year's curriculum.

So by the time I got there, I would appear so much smarter than everybody because I already had a knowledge of it. What? What'd they do that for? I mean, that has to be a pretty smart kid anyway, eh? To be like pretty much functioning a year ahead, but also doing the work. Yeah, you're also going to do this year's curriculum.

Yeah. So what are they doing? Like six hours of school and three hours before and three hours after because you'd have to, right? That's mad. Somebody else said, I had a tutor for saying speeches to grow my confidence in front of a lot of people. I hated speeches. Even though now we all do this job. Do speech jobs.

And do speeches. Yeah, but there's no one. I'm not standing in front of a crowd. It's just you two goons. You know, like, it's less scary. Right. True. Fair call.

This was one-on-one, though. So they said they didn't really appear to be speaking to a crowd during all their practice. It was like the king's speech. Yeah, yeah. Jeff Freer. Matt, you tutored a kid in what? In how to go camping. So what the parents are like, this kid is too indoorsy.

Well, I didn't even realise that I was being asked to tutor. My mum was visiting one of her friends, called me and said, hey, can you just stop by? And when I got there, their mum was like, so-and-so's going camping next week. He doesn't know how to camp. Teach him. So I just ended up showing him how to roll up a sleeping bag,

put up a tent, and what to do when he goes camping the weekend after in his living room. But you know what? He's probably got super fond memories of that. I'd hope so. Because has dad not taught him, or was his dad not on the scene? No, his dad was overseas, and they'd moved here. He was about to go camping.

He had never been camping before. Wow. Okay. That's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool thing to be able to do with somebody, I reckon. Thanks for your call, Matt. I had a tutor to teach me how to mow the lawn at home. Oh, that was my mum.

My mum taught me how to mow the lawn. Yeah, I'm thinking why that's what your dad does. He's like, around the back, we do it on three. Round the front, we do it on four. Well, in my case, it was my dad. But mum mowed a good lawn, but she didn't have the patience to teach. That's why she didn't teach us to drive either. She freaked out.

She didn't have the patience. Yeah. Four round the front, three round the back. Empty it under the trailer. Take the trailers to the tip. Why is it longer in the front? I think it was a different kind of grass. Okay. Wow. And around the back, the it under the trailer, take the trailers to the tip. Why is it longer in the front? I think it was a different kind of grass.

Oh, okay. Wow. And around the back, the back lawn was like practical lawn where you played your sports and stuff and around the front was a bit more showy.

Because you don't want to go on a low lawn setting and then you get that brown eye. Brown, the brown lawn. You hit the mud, yeah. Yeah. Or you hit a stone

and it goes... I'm so glad I can join in on lawn banter now. Because I mow my lawn. Yeah, it's good. It's great talking about lawns. Somebody else said I had a tutor to teach me how to use a coffee machine. But they said it wasn't for work. They just wanted to learn how to do it.

So someone came around and taught them. No, is it like a fancy like with the clip-up things and a... Did mum buy, mum and dad buy a nice one? And then someone's like, we'll come around and teach you to use it. But they were the only ones home. Maybe, I don't know. I don't know. And somebody else has messaged in that,

Fletch, you want some tutoring for Fortnite? They can offer you some tutoring. I don't need it. Well, you do. You desperately need it. I don't think for our entertainment we want you to get any better. I think it's quite funny. Why don't you teach Megan? Because you're going to need something after Love Island

finishes. You're going to finish that at the weekend. Yeah. You can drop in with the boys. And boys, by the way, boys isn't gender specific in fortnite it just means yeah boys like b o o o o i said two person team what don't you and james aren't you and james a team you know that's two o's you can play squads which is four teams of four totally drop in two is two solo is one i might be better than you. Would you be alright with that? That's a good joke.

Police. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Oh, yeah. F.E.M. We are all pet owners in here. I have a doggy.

Fletch has a cat. Vaughn has two cats and a dog. Correct. Yes. And maybe another dog. You might get that cute one if you cave in. But. No.

There'll be no co-ed thing what you're talking about. Yeah, no, we're not getting that. That big giant tiger one. The Tibetan mastiff. Yeah. Apparently I'm saying that wrong too. Tibetan. Tibetan. Tibetan. Oh, Tibetan mastiff. It's a Tibetan monk, isn't it? Yeah. I think our opinions on this are going to differ though, even though

we've all got pets. Would you need pet bereavement leave should one of your animals pass away? No. I don't even know if Fletch would. Would you? No. No. I mean, if I had a job where it was, you know, I was just sitting out in the office and people

wouldn't miss me and it didn't, you know, matter. Oh, right. You sound like we'd miss you. We're going to miss you here. Oh, boo. What would we do without him? Jesus. Guys, you would miss me. Oh, right. You sound like we'd miss you. I'm not even going to miss you here. Oh, boo, what would we do without him? Jesus. Guys, you would miss me.

You could push those buttons. I get James in to push the buttons. That's why we hardly ever have sick days because, you know, it sucks in one of us' way. Cute. Yeah, we really miss each other. You know, I wouldn't care if I had a job that, you know, I didn't want to come to. Yeah, that would be me. You'd definitely milk it. If I had a job I didn't want to come to. Yeah, that would be me. You definitely milk it.

If I had a job I didn't want to come to, I would find any excuse in the world not to be there. Exactly. But we're pretty lucky because we don't have that job. That's what I'm trying to say. Right. Yeah. So, pet bereavement. Employers are being asked if this can be a thing.

Do you know, first of all, you only get three days bereavement leave if a child, parent or partner dies. Three days. Your work would be pretty stink if they didn't make an allowance if your child died and you wanted more than three days off. Your husband died. It's like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday off. We'll see you. I'm sorry to hear about Roger. See you on Thursday.

Get over it. We've got work that needs to be done. But a psychologist has said that the grief process for losing an animal is exactly the same as losing a human. Lots of people are really close with their pets. Like an annoying human that shits on the rug every now and then. But you're not close with your animals. You've got kids, and people say that the kid replaces the animal, right?

Yeah, one undie. But my dog is my little baby. He's my son. It's your little googly-eyed baby. He's my little baby. Your little baby that people are like, but you'd get over it. I would, but I'd need bereavement leave.

A day max. So when Bruno... My baby dies on a Friday. Or if it's a Wednesday, bereave in the weekend. When Bruno, our beagle died, I was like, because I was thinking, I'll be fine, I'll be fine. It's just a dog. But I was like, distraught for two days at least.

But did you come to work? It was over Christmas holidays. Over Christmas. Okay. Which is sad. It was like when my nana died and we were on a week's leave. I was like, nana? Oh, come on.

She would have wanted me to have a few days off work. She loved when I had days off work because I was so happy. And then it was like, you guys were all like, oh, we'll take a week off. I was like, that's sweet with me. I'm going to chill and do nothing. And then, like, on the Saturday, Dad's like, I've got some terrible news. I was like, oh, my God, what is it? He's like, your Nana's passed away.

I was like, oh, Nana. Nana, the timing, Nana. Nana. The timing. I mean, it was out of her hands. Yeah, yeah. Had she had the choice, she would have done it when I could have had a nice week off. Sure.

But, yeah, like, I would be closer to my dog than, like, some of my family. Go on, name them. Name them. Rank them. Where does your dog fit in your family rankings? Nana. Racist Nana. Dog above or below racist Nana?

Above. I see my dog every day. Not even an ounce of hesitation. She's not. She's not. She's not kidding. No, but I'd need bereavement leave for both of them is what I'm trying to say. You know, because you'd be upset. I can't even believe people are disputing this.

Would you come into work the next day after your dog died? No, I wouldn't. Would you come into work the next day if racist Nan died? No. Wouldn't you? Nah. There's nothing you can do. You're not going to be able to make your un-racist award undead.

There's nothing I can do about Leo either. They're both sad. Oh, but that's not racist. Is your dog a racist? No. And your dog's not old. You know you expect old racist people to die, don't you? Yeah, yeah.

That's just part and parcel of being old and racist. They die, they get to heaven, and they're like, phew, I was right all along, and then jokes, trap door. Did you not read the 11th commandment? It was don't be a dickhead based on skin tone? Sorry. Hal, time for you, champ. Season 15 of Keeping Up With The Kardashians is coming,

and there's a teaser clip. Now, this is from when they did the annual holiday card shoot. So Kim Kardashian was planning it. Kourtney was being annoying. They always say Kourtney doesn't want to do any work and she had to leave by four for some reason. So they were having an argument about this and Kim absolutely slams Kourtney.

I need Kourtney to not be so annoying with a stick up her ass. Like she runs this because she doesn't. She's the least exciting to look at. So she can be out. She doesn't do shit. She doesn't know what it's like to actually have work to do. Wow.

She's the least exciting to look at. Yeah, she's my favorite of the Kardashians. I mean, Jen is a side thing to say to someone. You are the least exciting to look at. Yeah, she's my favourite. She's my favourite of the Kardashians. I mean, Jen is aside. What a horrible thing to say to someone. You are the least exciting to look at out of all of us. Wow. She's super exciting to look at. She's the funniest.

She's got a little firecracker. Well, that's the thing. Like, there's a Kardashian for everyone. There is. You're right. Everyone likes different ones, Kim. That is why celebrate Grabe One's birthday with $8 deals. Kim's at the bottom.

Kim's, to be totally honest, Kim's at the bottom for me. Khloe's my favourite. My order is. Okay. Oh, here we go. If we're talking just Kardashians. Yeah. Are we including Jenners?

No, bring Jenners in. Yeah. Okay, so Kendall's number one. Typical. Number two is Kourtney. Yep. Kardashian. Number three is Kylie Jenner.

Number four is Khloe Kardashian. Oh, actually, fourth equal between the mum. Caitlyn? Not Caitlyn. Okay. Caitlyn Jenner. The Kris Jenner. I didn't even, sorry, I haven't walked Caitlyn into this.

Oh, so Caitlyn's not on the list. But I've got no time for Caitlyn because of the right wing rhetoric. Yep. So that's right down the bottom. Okay. Then where was I up to? I was fourth equal with the mum and Khloe. Yeah. Rhetoric. Yep. So that's right down the bottom. Okay. Then where was I up to? I was fourth equal with the mum and Chloe. Then Rob.

Yep. Oh, Rob. Okay. Then Brody Jenner. Okay, we're not going into... And Brody Jenner's brother, whose name I forget, was in the show very rarely as it was. Yeah.

Brayden. Yeah, I think it's Brayden. I'm not sure. Then Kim. Okay. Actually, I think it's Brayden. I'm not sure. Then Kim. Okay. Then Kim. Actually, I think Chris is my favourite. I'm changing.

Chris, then Kylie. Chris is great. Yeah. Love to have drinkies with her. But while we talk about Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I'm going to tell you next what a negative part of watching that show is.

And it's not losing brain cells, like literally pouring out your nose as you watch it. Right, okay. That is Spy. Celebrate Grabe1's birthday with $8 deals and more at grabe1.co.nz. Also coming up, this can't leave the room. We're going to play back your juicy secrets.

This can't leave the room, but I've had cosmetic surgery. Dot, dot, dot. You snap ass. Confess. Use the Snapchat filter if you want to disguise your voice but it's a bit of a thing people getting the odd little touch up

or the odd little bit of work and not Is it still like shameful? What? Because people don't talk tell anyone No they don't Like if you want to do it

just do it for you you know whatever Just don't go too far because we've all seen what happens if you go too far And don't tell Fletch how much it costs

And so who'll get me going. An interesting study has been done in the UK. This is from the London School of Economics and the Department of Media and Communications. A doctor ran this, so. So it's legit. They did it pretty legit.

It's a legit study. Yeah. They did a series of tests on people and they found that the more shows that you watch which glamorised fame, luxury and wealth, they use the examples Made in Chelsea, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, like where they're just living in the lap of luxury.

Would Love Island be included in that? Well, I suppose it's very nice and they're very attractive people. But they're all stuck in a... But they're not all rich by default, eh? No, they're not. Yeah, and it's a TV set. Okay, so maybe not.

Maybe not so much. But those sorts of shows actually led viewers, the more they watched them, to be more cold-hearted towards the poor. Wow, okay. So they didn't donate money to people on the street or they didn't help charities? No, they just... So they talked to them about their social standings

and what they think of people, you know, with the welfare options and all that sort of stuff. And then they set them about watching, they started with just showing them newspaper headlines, which were talking about glamorous people and like if Posh and Becks bought a new mansion for $50 million and it made the front page, they showed them those sorts of headlines

and then they asked them more questions and they felt that they graphed their attitude and their attitude towards people, the lower socioeconomic, started going down. They had less respect for them and there was an increase in anti-welfare sentiment. Right. Do you think New Zealanders would be like that though?

Because if someone's really rich, we're usually like We mow them down. Yeah, we do. We don't like hold them up in high esteem. So the doctor who did this, Dr. Rodolfo Rodolfo? Okay. It looked like it was going to be easy to say and then I tried to say it and it wasn't.

You can have words like that. You're looking at them and you're like, that's going to be easy. You've got to commit and mumble. You've got to mumble and commit. Dr. Rodolfo. He said humans are inherently materialistic but also very social and communal. So when

we watch people who emphasise a lot on materialism and that's how they're happy and, oh my god, I'm so happy I got an $80,000 car and that sort of stuff. And you become unsympathetic to people who are less fortunate and have the least time for them because you're not getting the gratification from watching them.

And I'm assuming that's also why we're all so like full of debt and have a lot of debt in the country. And try to chase that lifestyle. Because everybody's chasing that lifestyle too. Huh. So yeah, they studied about 500 adults. Right. And they had a control group where they showed them stories

in newspapers about like the London Underground and like new dinosaur discoveries. And their thoughts of them didn't change. Right. But if you watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you're a terrible person. No, that's not true. Really thrive.

I'm not unsympathetic to like lower socioeconomic groups. Thank you very much. Imagine how much more. You said you're unsympathetic. I said I'm not unsympathetic to like lower socio-economic groups Thank you very much Imagine how much more You said you're unsympathetic I said I'm not unsympathetic Imagine how much more unsympathetic you could be If I didn't watch K-Pop I know that that's just like

I know that that Lamborghini doesn't make Kylie truly happy I've watched like Kylie's show as well Because they get a Lambo at the start of the episode And then they have a cry 20 minutes in And she still feels really insecure And you're like what about the Lambo? What are you crying for?. Because they get a Lambo at the start of the episode and then they have a cry 20 minutes in. And she still feels really insecure. And you're like, what about the Lambo? What are you crying for?

Just go cry in the Lambo. You'll be right. Yeah, and it's like Chloe gets cheated on by Tristan and everyone's like, but they've got a Range Rover. What are you crying for? I know that money

doesn't buy them happiness, but I still want to watch it. All right, next. Money doesn't buy you happiness, but money can buy you things to help you. Sweet shoes. Yeah, that's true. I think I know what it is.

This can't leave the room. Now, This Can't Leave the Room is a segment of the show where we let you make a completely anonymous confession via social media apps, Snapchat and Instagram. They've got filters, they've got voice disguises. We chuck a question out there.

You reply and we discuss. And the subject this week is this can't leave the room, but I've had cosmetic surgery. Like what kind of cosmetic surgery? Some people won't own up to it. No, they won't. Well, I want to keep it a secret. Or they just have it done. There's a lot of judgment that comes with it.

Well, yes, there is. Everyone will tell you you did or didn't need it. Do you think there's less judgment now than say, maybe, I'd say so. 10 years ago? Because it's more common now, right? But I saw on the news there were so many people coming back from Thailand specifically who had to get

boob jobs fixed because they were botched. So you just have to be so careful, especially if you're going overseas. Make sure you go to the right place. So did they just not keep their receipt? Well, you can't get a refund if it's infected. Oh, yeah. Hey, that boobie you gave me fell off.

So I bought back my receipt and said, fallen off boobie. Can I get my money back? All right. Let's open up our first one. This can't leave the room, but as of two days ago, I had a boob job. And I'm a teacher. So that's going to be interesting in four weeks' time when I go back to work. Very distinctive voice.

But right now, a teacher isn't on holidays. So would they have taken off? Leave. Yeah. For a month. It's a long time. We don't know the backstory there because a lot of people will get boob jobs because they're too big. Yeah, breast reduction. Could be a month. It's a long time. We don't know the backstory there because a lot of people will get boob jobs because they're too big.

Yeah, breast reduction. Could be a reduction. Yeah, totally. But also, like, most people wouldn't say anything, right? But then you can't... Kids just say whatever they want. They're just going to be... The great unfiltered.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good luck with that. Okay, next one. So, this can't leave the room, but I had plastic surgery done on my jawline and now beards are in fashion and I've grown a beard. What a waste of money.

What do you reckon he had done? I didn't know you could get a jawline. You get double chins. I know there's a procedure you get your double chin. You can get chin implants. Tucked away. Maybe you can get like jaw. Yeah, because some people have

just kind of don't have a chin and it kind of, they're no chinians. They're no chinians. I've got too much chin. Do you want some of mine? You could be like when you donate a liver or a marrow. Yeah. A chin donor. A chin donor. But yeah, you could get chin implants.

Really? You can have one. I suppose because your jawline's bone and you can get bone implants. I've got two. Really? You can have one. I suppose because your jawline's bone and you can get bone shaved and shaped, can't you? So if you were like sticking out too much up here, you could... Whose jaw would you go for? Brad Pitt. Like a Brad... I mean, a Brad Pitt's... That's your...

Brad Pitt's got such a sculpted jaw. He's got a great jaw. But then what if the Brad Pitt jaw looked silly on the rest of your face? That's the thing. You'd have to do one of those. Your jaw is perfect for your face. You know when you're going to paint, like you go to paint with Dulux and you can see what your lounge looks like with the Dulux colour range?

Yeah. Like that. But with jaws. Okay. You scan your face in and then you can try all the different jaws on. All right, this can't leave the room. I told everyone I was going on my big owie, but really, I went overseas and I got my boobs and butt done. Shh.

Boobs and butt. So a butt lift or a butt implant or butt injections. Because the butt is like the boobs, eh? Because you don't have to get breast implants, you can just get a lift. Yeah. They like take what's there and they reshape it rather than add anything in, and is the butt the same?

But I think the butt was muscle. It is. The breast's famously mostly just fat, eh? Yeah, but it's still surrounded by muscle. Don't you just pull the muscle up? Oh, right, you pull that up and it kind of shapes the... Okay. That's interesting.

Okay, next one. Just don't leave the room, but I've used a penis pump. And it doesn't work. Still have a small penis. Don't you laugh. It's okay, mate. I'm not laughing at that. I'm laughing at that.

Is that cosmetic surgery? A penis pump. That's not cosmetic surgery. Well, it's not surgery, but it's a procedure. If you're looking to change something about yourself. How small are we talking? Is he just feeling a little bit insecure? It's probably not that small.

You're right, mate. So I always talk about how small mine is. Yeah. But then that's good because it sets forth. Like only my wife sees it these days. Yeah. So it's like lowering it. But she doesn't say how small it is anymore

because I talk about how small it is all the time. Nah. And honestly, it's never been called small, but that's probably because I pre-preceded it. Thanks a lot. Okay. Well, I guess on my single days I'll tell you two things.

It's going to be rubbish and it's a small penis. My husband asked me the other day, he's like, does Vaughan actually have a small penis? I was like,

why do you think I know that? I'm unsure. But you say it's really small, so then when it's like just very average, you've undersold and overdelivered. It's like life. You undersell, overdeliver.

Classic. It is the classic way to go. I only saw a wee snippet of it that time, not enough to gauge. A wee snippet. Was it the top or the bottom of it? Unsure. That's the other thing about it,

it's very indistinguishable from top to bottom. It looks like a kid's drawing of a tree. Like no distinguishing features between the top and the bottom of the tree apart from the bush at one end. The branches. Okay. And the bit where it comes out at the other. We've got time for one more.

This can't leave the room, but I got my lips done and they were bruised along the top and I told my partner that I broke the cable at the gym and it bruised my lip. So tell people like around you is one thing but you'd tell your partner, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you notice? Yeah.

What would bruise your lips getting your lips done? Would that just be fillers? Well, I don't think it's supposed to bruise but if they hit like blood, the blood will pop up and it will bruise. Right. So they got fillers. They wouldn't have had like surgery then,

more the procedure of fillers. No, it would just be injections, I think. And it would have bruised. And then she was like, I've got a shank in the face. Cable broke. You've just got to be so careful, eh? But then your lips would be all puffy, wouldn't they? Yeah.

Yeah, but that fits well with the cable story. You got smacked in the face. Yeah, right. I'm not sure, but I think they puff up a little bit first and then come back down. Right. So that would fit well with the I hurt myself in the end story. And then he sees the swelling go down, not as down as much,

but it goes down. It's like when a shop's having a sale and they say 40% off and you go in and you're like like I'm excited about this 40% off and then when it goes back to not being 40% off they make it a little bit more expensive. Yeah.

And that's how they sneak it up on you. That's how petrol stations get you. The old oh we're having six cents off today and then when they

put it back up they chuck another cent on. Yeah. Old Vaughan Smith conspiracy theorist. Friday Flashback. Oh, here we go. Soundkeeper Annabelle.

Is this your first one? Soundkeeper Annabelle is still in the studio. Is this your first Friday Flashback? It is. No, she was here last week. For the Nickelback. Oh, yeah. She left, though, in disgust.

She left. Okay. She went up a rank in my book today. She stormed out of the studio, thinks the Nickelback. Oh, yeah. She left, though, in disgust. Oh, she left. Okay. She went up a rank in my book for the day. She stormed out of the studio, thinks the Nickelback went quite well. I don't think this is going to be a redeemer. I think this is polarizing. Well, let me tell you about this song.

This song actually had three different release dates. How peculiar. How awfully queer. How awfully queer. June 1st, 2008, initial release, United States. July 13th, 2009, United Kingdom. And then April 19th, 2010, United Kingdom re-release. It's almost like, did you guys catch?

It's like when someone puts a photo on Instagram and they take it down and they put it back up. They're like, oh, I've just re-uploaded this because I don't know what happened. It got three likes. It got three likes and they didn't get the, they're like, I just... Get in there and...

This song has been on Pretty Little Liars and also The Hills and had an official remix by Kid Cudi. Cudi, Cudi. Why did you say Cudi? Kid Cudi. Kid Cudi. Who I really like.

I don't know why I said his name wrong. These two lads are, I would say, very frat. Like the frat community of America love this. Yeah. It is from their album Want. This was played a lot on the radio. Oh, yeah. At the time.

It had a lot of radio play. And it's 10 years old because producer Caitlin, this song was in Da Club when you first went to Da Club when you were 18. Or had you snuck in before on your sister's ID? No, no, no, no, no. So when you entered the club, this would have been

in Christchurch? Yeah. This would have been pre-earthquakes? Yeah. So you would have had all your classics, you would have had

Grammy Mole, you would have had Shooters? Yeah. What was the one? The Holy Grail? With the light up floors and they played... Boogie Wonderland?

Yes. Boogie Wonderland. Boogie Nights. Anybody else got any classic Christchurch bars to chuck in the Shooters Shooters yeah

Shooters is a beauty The Mag Cow The Mag Cow That was a good time The strip there with all like what was that Irish bar called there

Oh the crack No it was called the bog or something Yeah the bog Oh the bog Yeah Well let us let that song

let the song take you back to whatever club you were in in 2008. Because today's Friday Flashback is from 303. Don't trust me. With the tights underneath, I got the breath of a glass cigarette on my teeth. Let it flow over you.

But she ain't got no need. She's got money from her parents and a trust fund back east. Tongues, always pressed to your cheeks While my tongue is on the inside of some other girl's teeth You tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't f***ing scared of him She wants to touch me, woo She wants to love me, woo She'll never leave me, love me, wish she wants to love me, love me, wish she'll never leave me.

Don't trust the home, never trust the home, won't trust the home, won't trust me. She wants to touch me, love me, wish she wants to love me, love me, wish she'll never leave me. Don't trust the home, never trust the home, won't trust the home, won't trust the world Never trust the world Don't trust the world Don't trust me 303, Don't Trust Me. Vaughn's packed today for Friday Flashback on ZM. Some text messages. Always important to go for some feedback. Vaughn, I used to respect your choices the most

out of the three of you, but no more. Somebody said, should have done this song Starstruck with Katy Perry. I love that song. However, that was 2012 and that breaches protocol for Flashback Friday. The song must be released from the year 10 years ago at least. Banger. Yes, love it. And somebody actually brings up a really good point.

They said they've always wondered what nostalgia feels like and that's the first time they've felt it. Oh. Really? Was it because we brought up the grumpy mole? Maybe. Maybe sitting on the slightly sticky bench at Shooters. I don't know.

Wow. I'm so glad we could share that with you. I know. They said they just had a real nostalgic feeling with the song. All about the nostalgia on Friday. We've got Friday jams coming up from 9 and at 10 today, Belle with an exciting announcement at 10 o'clock. Make sure you listen.

Completely unplanned, but what I want to talk about now is kind of nostalgic as well. Okay. I went to pick Indy up from school yesterday, and every kid that I saw had a yo-yo. And they were fundraiser yo-yo. And they were fundraising yo-yos. Did that make you feel old? I was like,

oh God, she comes out and she's like, everyone's got yo-yos. I need a yo-yo. And I was like, I think I've been you like at least two or three times. Yeah. Yo-yos are one of those things that you think, nah, with technology the way it is and all the options for kids for entertainment and stuff, yo-yos are one of those things that you think, nah, with technology the way it is and all the options for kids, for entertainment and stuff,

yo-yos aren't going to have another go at it. And then they always blow your mind by being popular again. So Indy's off to school today with her pocket money to buy a yo-yo. And they're fundraising. And she's like, I'm going to do the walk the dog around the world. I was like, oh, bless you. Dad thought so too once upon a time. And it just ended up a tangled mess

in the bottom of a drawer. In fact, it's probably still there. So yeah, all these kids are rocking yo-yos. They're running around and be like, look at this thing. Hey, mister, have you heard of a yo-yo? And that's what one of them said to me. Hey, mister.

Hey, mister. It was like 1930s. Hey, mister, you heard of a yo-yo? I was like, yeah, we had them when I was a kid as well. And this kid was just like, oh, that takes a bit of shine off the... I didn't know that. Yuck. Someone's dad liked it.

Yuck. Threw it down in disgust. Yeah. But I remember yo-yos when I was at primary school had a resurgence. Yeah. And then there was another weird one at high school, post-chatterings. Yeah. Where yo-yos came back into vogue.

Nah, like six months until somebody got so much better than everybody else at it that everybody else chucked it in. Because that one person had kind of cornered the yo-yo dominance of the school and so everybody else just gave up. But it got me thinking about what else is due a resurgence? Because another thing, this is maybe for people in their 30s listening, they're thinking of remaking Elf. Do you remember that TV show Elf? Gordon Shumway

from Planet Melmac. He ate cats. And he ate cats, yeah. They're thinking of remaking Elf. No, some things are better left in the past. Yeah, let's just leave that. 100%. Leave that in the past. We know that's a problem now. That's the problem with nostalgia. You often think that you'd love to see it again, but it never lives up to the expectations. Just a chance to relive some nostalgia,

a time when you were at school. Yeah, what schoolyard fad that you loved is due a resurgence? Like, what would you like to see pop up again? Elastics. England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, inside, outside, pop it up, sales. You could do that yourself.

No, she couldn't. Just go buy some... What? Well, your hip. Yeah, you had a hip. Oh, I could totally do that. Maybe not up at hip height. You know how you go ankle, knee, hip.

No, you can be one of the people that holds the elastics. Waisties, shoulders. One of the proudest moments of my life was getting to shoulders. Did you get to shoulders? I got into armpits. Good on you. Yeah, I know.

I was really proud. Okay. Yeah, I know. I was really proud. Okay. Yeah, I was pretty stoked. That was the year I also did pretty good at high jump. Did your legs grow and everything else was catching up? Maybe it was a growth spurt for the eggs. Right. The eggs? The legs? Yeah. Okay. Right. Alright, well

let's take some calls. Your text messages. 0800 dials at M9696. What schoolyard fad that you loved as Dura Resurgence? Well, maybe I'd just like to see it come back as an adult. Yeah, maybe. Now, get into a bit of business. You can make a lot of money selling nostalgia, can't you? We're talking about what schoolyard fad could totally do with a resurgence.

Yesterday when I went to pick up my daughter from school, everybody had yo-yos. I was like, wow. Are you back again? I'm old. Did you think that? Well, in my lifetime, this would have to be at least the fifth time yo-yos have stuck their head up and been like, who likes things on string?

Boo! I was terrible. Get me out of your face. I mean, I always got a yo-yo, but I was like... I just cheered everyone else on. I just wanted chattering to come back but I was like... I just cheered everyone else on. Yeah. I just wanted chatter rings to come back because I was always like pretty just above average at chatter rings. This is something you were... I wasn't great, but I could get them going.

I could go do one on each hand. Lizzie, what's your resurgence? What did you love? My resurgence is knuckle bones. Oh, my God. I loved knuckle bones. I just got a pack of knuckle bones but when you're young it doesn't hurt as much like maybe you've got smaller knuckles or something because you have

to chuck them up and catch them on the back of your hand yeah my ones are metal and they yeah quite a bit yeah yeah that was where i didn't ever like knuckle bones because i'd crack my knuckles uh thanks you called lizzie Martin. Good morning. What do you want to see come back? I reckon gutter board. Tell me what gutter board is. It's a game where you have a, it's made out of wood, and it's like two, it's like a triangle,

and you throw the tennis ball, and you start at the line, like one line, and you've got to throw it and catch it off it, and then you move back further and further. So it's like a rebounder board. Like a triangle. Yeah. You've got to have skill to throw it and aim and then catch it as well. And you've got to have enough oomph to get it there and kind of get enough power to...

I've never heard of it. Marty, what's stopping you just making one of these in your backyard? To be honest, I've got one in my. Marty, what's stopping you just making one of these in your backyard? To be honest, I've got one in my garage. Get it, boy. You need to get it out this weekend. Yeah, I reckon I do. We've just had a text message.

Martin, don't go anywhere. Somebody said gutter board's back. It's called G-board, and it's big in primary schools. Yeah, that's exactly where I played it, mate. G-board. Well, it's back. Because how old are you? I'm 25. 25, so all these years later, it's exactly where I played it, mate. G-board. Well, it's back. Because how old are you? I'm 25.

25, so all these years later, it's come back. Do you reckon you've still got the G-board skills? I reckon I do, mate. I play cricket, so I don't think it'll ever leave. That's why it feels like cricket training, doesn't it? It does, doesn't it? Right, Marty, thanks for your call. Tennessee, what do you want to see come back? Morning, guys.

Morning. I would like to see Beyblades come back. Tennessee, I've got great news for you. Beyblades are back. Are you actually serious? I saw some kids having a Beyblade battle at Indy school after school and I went over and I was like, what have we got going on here? Because I love Beyblades. Right, I'm there. I'm there. You're there. Okay, didn't you vom in a Beyblade stadium once? I did actually. That was the end of, like, that spoiled Beyblade for me and the eight-year-old whose Beyblade stadium I vomited in.

His mother was very accommodating, looked after me when I was in a very ill state, and I repaid the favour by vomiting in the family Beyblade stadium. I haven't forgiven myself. Technically, it's like a bucket, though, isn't it? It was a Christmas party. I'd been predominantly drinking purple Gowanas. So you can imagine the mess in the Beyblade Stadium.

Yeah, not pretty. Alright, some text messages in. Some other ones. Chatter rings. Somebody said, who'd you say, chatter rings? Chatter rings have got to be true for their once a decade re-emergence. They had a noise factor though, didn't they, that a lot of people, and malls didn't like them? Yes.

Somebody else said marble maze. Do you remember where you'd, it was a balance board thing. In fact, I've seen one of these on an iPad, a digital version. And you'd start with a steel ball in the corner and you had to twist the axes and get the ball through to the other side without falling down one of the holes. Do you remember even just marbles? Remember you had to like battle other people in the field

and you'd like tap marbles when you started a game? I somehow went through all of my schooling without ever playing marbles. Really? Pavo. You're like, I'll play you for this one. Yeah, and you had the big ones. Granddads.

What were those called? Granddads. Everybody had a different name for the big marbles. Yeah. Chargers. And what was the small... Oh, God, I want to play that again. That's so good.

Bit of marbles. And then someone would smash your granddad and you'd be to play that again. That's so good. Bit of marbles. And then someone would smash your granddad and you'd be like, well, what now? You have to give me your one. Because you threw it at it too hard. Yeah, because they were glass, weren't they? Oh, they smashed your granddad? Yeah.

You've got to be careful with granddad. He's brittle. Somebody else said, Megan, me and my girlfriends played a game of elastics when we were drinking the other weekend and crikey dick, when you're in your 30s, she's a real hard game. Is it?

I'd imagine even the next day you'd feel it's quite high impact. Yeah, yeah. Bang, bang, bang on the ground. Well, you haven't used those leg muscles for a while unless you're, you know, constantly gymming. That's what somebody else said, Double Dutch. We were talking about long rope and how long rope, you don't see kids doing long rope anymore.

So we found a long rope and did long rope. The next day, God, we were all in so much pain. And that's why you always when you see people at full moon in Thailand well they're jumping

over it on fire too yeah not pretty somebody said I was pretty stoked when Pokemon made a resurgence as I'm a teacher

but I was like right in the initial Pokemon surge and these kids bloody loved how much knowledge I had of the original 151

it's good that your teaching's finally getting throw away yeah yeah well you could probably learn that and then relate it to lessons yeah fem fact of the day day day day day today's fact of the day is i mean where this is completely unintended but we've been touching Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- In 1991, what do you think was the highest selling car in the US? And it's something to do with nostalgia. Yep. Nah, I don't know. Toyota Corolla. It was the Little Tikes Crazy Coupe.

Oh, that's like, you insinuated on the road. Of any car. You click baited us. We click baited you. Totally click baited you. The famous red. Described as a cross between the Flintstones car and a Volkswagen Beetle. It's like a kid's car.

It's got a door on the side you step in and then your little feet run underneath and you can power along. I had a blue shoe that I could ride. It was real cute. I looked real cute in it. I had blonde hair as well. And it was a blue plastic shoe shoe I didn't have a crazy coupe Here's the thing I was a sit on kid as well

Like we had a fire engine And you'd sit on it Yep But then you saw kids Who could sit in it And sitting in Was cooler Was cooler than sitting on

Yeah well their parents Probably had more money For the crazy coupe For the 1991 For the little tykes crazy coupe. Yeah. I had that red motorbike, but you had to sit on that too. Was that like the trike, the two wheels at the back?

Yeah. Is that a Kiwi invention? Because every kid in New Zealand would have had access to one of those growing up. Make the noises. And you'd stop and pretend to put petrol in from the garden hose and the little petrol. Mum would be like, come in for dinner. You'd be like, I'm just filling up my bike with petrol. Back when toy petrol was 90 cents a litre.

Oh, God, and you'd pay with toy money and you'd swipe your toy bloody air points card, you'd be gone. Yeah. Not nowadays. Drive your toy broke, filling up with gas. So in 1991, it sold half a million units, more than any other car that year.

The closest was the Honda Accord, which sold 400,000, so 100,000 short. Yeah. And the Ford Taurus, it sold 300,000. Wow, okay. So significantly less than the Crazy Coupe. Wow. Yeah.

So today's fact of the day is that the highest selling car in the US in 1991 was the Crazy Coupe by Little Tykes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, you guys have dogs. What kind of dogs do you have? Griffin Bichon. It's a cross. Vaughan? I've got a Cavoodle, What kind of dogs do you have? Griffin Bichon. It's a cross. Born.

I've got a Cavoodle, which is a cross between a King Chow's Cavalier Espanol and a Poodle. And so it's dumb and hyperactive. Thanks to its parents giving it the worst of both of its. So cute. Thanks. See how I'm nice to your dog? So Southern Cross who do pet insurance, they have released the list of the most expensive dogs to insure. Okay.

And I'm sure cats would be up there as well. My cat, I do cat insurance not with them. I think it's like $300 a year. Oh, yeah. I don't know how much you're one. How much is yours? I don't know. It's good though.

Andrew pays that bill. It's worth it, eh? I don't think you should have a dog without it. Oh, you go to the vet once. Yeah, and you've paid for it. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Well, obviously small dogs are easier on the wallet.

Really? I would have thought there were some small dogs that would have been very prone to, what are you doing, Megan's playing charades. French bulldog. Yeah, I'm saying they're easier on the wallet because they eat less, but not when it comes to pet insurance.

Let the man finish, Vaughn. You didn't let me finish. Well, Megan started playing charades. By the way, making hands into ears on your head is not the international sign for French Bulldog. You smush your face up and you go, wee wee.

Woo, wee wee. You can't, it's charades. You can't speak. French Bulldogs, the monthly premiums are $82.28. Adds up to $987 a year. That's more than I pay for my house. I know.

Not contents, just house. That's just house insurance. If you know anyone with a Frenchie, there is a high likelihood that they've had to take it to the vet at least once or twice. But also, are they covering, is that for everything? Because surely even with those breeds, it would exclude some extremely well-known problems, right?

Because as you say, they're riddled with respiratory issues. Okay. What else you got for me after French Bulldog? So is French Bulldog the most expensive? So Greyhounds, Labradors, Springer, Spaniel, Crosses, and Bichon Freezers attract premiums of $51.43 a month. So that's $617 a year. That's Leo.

I thought Labradors would have been like cheap as chips. That's just your classic Kiwi woofer. Is it Pinchners? Pinchners? Is that how you say that? A miniature pincher. A pincher. A pincher.

Well, there's an S on it. Leon Bergers, they're $61.71 a month. I love a Leon Berger. So $740 a year. Dalmatians are $864 a year. Good Lord. I'm just, now you've said Dalmatians, I want to work out how much Ryder from Paw Patrol

will be paying for a monthly premium to have six dogs. Isn't it funny how much that accumulates when you just pay like a little bit a month, you think nothing of it, and then when you work out how much it is a year, it's so much. And then your dog does a turn on the floor and you're like, God damn! Do you not understand?

I pay $80 just so you hurt yourself. It won't cost me a fortune. But yeah, but you think if your dog lives for that many years, what, 15 years? Well, that depends. Some dogs, the bigger the dog, the shorter the life, right? That's the general sort of rule. And maybe the older it gets, the more your insurance goes up as well. Just like life insurance.

But think of all the love they give you. Well, not cats. Yeah, assholes. But dogs, so much love. Fletch's cat's an arsehole. My cat's an arsehole. Yeah, my cat is an arsehole. I just walked past the other night to the couch

and he just reached out and grabbed my knee and bit it. I was like, I did literally nothing to you. But did you tell it off? Well, no, because you can't tell it off. It just doesn't work. So I was like, okay, that's pretty cute. He likes me. God, the cat climbed the curtain at our house the other day.

It almost needed its bloody insurance. Vaughan, you two curtain at our house the other day. It almost needed its bloody insurance. Born. You two are one extreme to the other. We paid way more for the curtains than we did for the cat. We're putting a value range on things. The curtains. You can't pat the curtains. You can.

That's why I paid a premium for them. Producer Caitlin's got a podcast. It's on, whereabouts are we looking? Whereabouts can we find this podcast Caitlin? iTunes and also iHeartRadio Now this is a follow up Because you did a podcast for Heartbreak Island You and the girls

And you decided that you'd carry on Yeah and just open it up to Anything and everything It's kind of like stuff that we always think about as females But like never really openly talk about Like shaving your vagina. I forgot that I wasn't on the podcast. This is the thing about podcasts,

you can say whatever, it's not regulated. But when you're on public radio, you maybe say something more like personal maintenance. As a lead in, and then eventually we'll say the V word, but you just don't come straight up. Now, you've got a special, you've got an intro which I believe producer James with his deep manly voice has voiced. He made it up for us, yeah. Okay, well let's have a listen.

Girls on top. Woo! And sexy, eh? Hello! Well, that's good. I have come up with an intro theme song. Okay. Do you want it? Yeah. Are you going to do it to this Cardi B beat or? Oh, I can try. Hello That's good I have come up with an intro theme song Okay Do you want it?

Yeah Are you going to do it to this Cardi B beat or Oh I can try Okay Oh my god here we go Here we go Oh god Clean fade for your recording

Here we go Okay Girls on top They won't stop Until they pop Oh yeah Girls on top Oh stop Guys you laughed at me That was such a hot clean fade Don't stop until they pop. Oh, yeah. Girls on top. Oh, stop.

Guys, you laughed at me. That was such a hot, clean point. I wanted it to stop after the first. Oh, yuck. Is that how you do it? When I was practicing, it was much more sort of like pacey, but then you made the slow beat. It feels like you're still breathing in my ears.

Hey, baby. Yuck. You want to get out of here? No, I don't. Now, we've hanging out of here. No, thanks. We've had reports on the podcast of something that you talked about, Caitlin, which we're going to touch on now, and I'm going to play for you.

Caitlin, I know that we've been kindred spirits in our obsessive watching of Love Island. Didn't Love Island restore your faith in finding someone? So, mum, close your ears. Love Island made me really, like, horny. And so that's why, like, you're watching it and they were all cuddling. That's made me want a boyfriend. I was just like, I want that. That person just to, like, grab onto and have a lot of sex with.

Girls on top! I'm going to stop the podcast. Wow. I don't think you can speak for every woman though. My wife's watched a hundred combined hours of that lately. I haven't noticed the marked increase in demand for this.

Do you think she's had it too good? She doesn't want to come back to old soft and squidgy. No. It does make you more like cuddly because like you watch Jack and Danny and you're like. You're just like, I want that. And then also, yeah, they just have like adult fun times and you're like, oh. So, yeah.

All right. Well, if that podcast sounds like a bit of you, girls on top. And you're in Christchurch this weekend, lads. Okay. Caitlin. Yes, I am. It's your birthday. Okay.

Calm down. You calm down. You're making me real giggly for some reason. I don't know why. It was my sexy intro. No. I don't know. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan.

The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6. ZDM.