ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 06 2018

Episode Date: August 5, 2018

We have a liar within the show, Community Notices and what small argument got out of hand?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi, a gig a day, on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Morning. Still haven't got your headphones ready. Nah.

God, you're lucky I'm here today. I was up coughing half the night. I've got a sore neck from coughing. When my alarm went off, I was like, you know what? Screw them. But then... Jeez. I pulled myself up by the bootstraps.

You're right, mate. And here I am. Good Lord. I don't want a medal, but I'll take one. Thanks. So, you're definitely dying. Well, you had a day off last week, so let's not cast stones if we live in a glass house. That's right, you did too.

Yeah, because I literally said, I'm like, so I could have come in, but. This is me, I'm pulling it together. Are we having a who's sicker? Oh my God. No, I never claim to be sick. I just literally spit out words. So, when you get there, Vaughan, you can have a day off. Okay, my God. No, I never claim to be sick. I just literally spit out words. So when you get there, Vaughan, you can have a day off. Okay, I will.

Or I'll probably actually just come to work because I've got a good work ethic. And a can-do attitude. Don't come at me because you're pissy on a Monday morning. I'm not pissy on a Monday morning. Not at all. Cut it out. Cut it out, everybody. And then producer Caitlin's like, it's still my birthday.

It is. Guys, so I'm fine on my birthday. It's my birthday week, remember? It was Saturday last week. Yes, and all this week is my birthday week. And who bought you flowers this morning? Thank you, Megan. Boys?

You know, you don't expect anything from them. Her birthday was last week. And it was a Saturday, so she didn't get the love on a birthday. Yeah, it's like at school. It's like at school when your birthday's on a weekend and then you try to push it to either side because you'd want the happy birthdays and then count the happy birthdays.

You seem like one of those people that would have counted the happy birthdays. 84 happy birthdays. I got 75 messages on Facebook, but then people messaged me on Instagram and then also text me. So, yeah, you were totally the counting person back before social media. I was going to say,

who counts their Facebook birthday greetings? All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines, three interesting, unusual, quirky weird news stories. Vaughan and Megan now must decide which headline out of the following three we go into. Headline one, Colombian drug gang $7,000 bounty raises eyebrows. Headline two, 118 goats make short time of man's entire garden.

And headline three, cop forgets he's wearing a body cam. Oh, what did he do? That's your standard copy and paste headline, that one. That's in the news every month now. He shot someone. At least. Did they forget they're wearing a body cam? Yeah.

Do you think you'd forget you were wearing a body cam if you wore one all the time? Because the idea of them is that they're non-obtrusive. Yeah. They're so flat against you that you don't, like, see them the whole time. And they're always deleting them. Because lots of cops, they go back to get the footage and they're like, oh, it's malfunction.

It's like your standard reply. Yeah. Well, what's the point of having them if they're always malfunctioning? They record on the body cam. They don't, like, live stream back to the police station. Oh, yeah, I think they're on. I think you've got to take out the SD card.

They should live stream them, like, Twitch or something. That'd be great. That would be one hell of an exciting Twitch channel. Well, no, but not if you were live streaming and you were in the stakeout and you wanted to know how they were approaching your apartment to break in. Oh, I just meant back to the police station. Oh, right. Not actually live streaming.

But that would also stop you being a criminal. Yeah, true. Yeah. If you could watch them live stream. That's a good idea. Maybe that'll happen one day. Like cops, but real life. Real life.

Police 10-7, but with 24-7. Without the editing and the censoring. Yeah. Okay. 10-7 but with 24-7. Without the editing and the censoring. Yeah. Okay. What was, I've forgotten the other two. So,

Colombian drug gang $7,000 bounty, story number one. Or, headline two, 118 goats make short time of man's entire garden. Well, that's

self-explanatory. Yeah, very self-explanatory. Number uno, numero uno. Number one. Yes. We go now to Colombia.

My lovely Colombia. It's a great country. And Sombra is a six-year-old German shepherd. Now, Sombra is a drug detection dog and is actually highly celebrated in the Colombian police force because of late, he has helped capture and sniff out thousands and thousands of kilos of cocaine hidden in suitcases, boats, and large shipments of fruit,

and is one of the most successful drug sniffer dogs in Colombia ever. Wow. But unfortunately, this is not great news for one of the Colombian drug cartels, the Gulf Clan. I've never heard of. They're not on like the Narco show. It doesn't sound that menacing. It sounds quite boring.

Yeah. Very white. Gulf Clan, yeah. Well, they have their own guerrilla army. They've offered a reward of $1,000 US. Don't say there's a hit on Somba. To put a hit on the drug sniffer dog. That's awful.

That's not enough. $7,000. That's insulting. Yeah, it should be way more. If this dog single-handedly costs in the millions of dollars. Yeah, it is a bit low. You're right, actually. It would be an insult.

But maybe it's a dog because it's a dog. They're like, well, we can't. It's not a human amount. Oh. You can't devalue your human price. There'd be people that would struggle more to shoot a dog than to shoot a. Yeah, yeah. That's true.

A human. What kind of dog is it? A German Shepherd. A German Shepherd. German Shepherd. Is that a German Shepherd? Yeah. Yeah, that's a German Shepherd.

Pretty cute. It actually looks a bit like a blue he Shepherd. Is that a German Shepherd? Yeah. Yeah, that's a German Shepherd. Pretty cute, eh? It actually looks a bit like a Blue Heeler. It has an Australian Shepherd dog. It's got its own fluoro police hivers vest. Threats have prompted Colombian police, though, to relocate the dog, who in Spanish the name means shadow. That's its name.

From a port on Colombia's Caribbean coast to the capital city, where she now sniffs out drugs at the airport. Okay. So she's gone from the port to the airport. But so they've given in. Well, yeah, I guess so, yeah. By putting the hit on the dog, they'll force the dog away from the shipping port where you can easily get more drugs through.

Yeah. Unless you've got another dog that's like low-key, maybe not as good. I would have just liked to see the dog go into witness protection and have to get some surgery to look more like a poodle or something. They can put bulletproof vests on them, can't they? Yeah, I don't know. Where would you put it?

No, because it'd be too heavy for a dog. So you'd protect the vital organs. Yeah, but then I guess he could... The head. They could get a little helmet. That would be pretty cute. It would look badass. Make it look like a riot police dog.

Well, it would just look like Chase off Paw Patrol. I know you guys don't have kids, but you must have stumbled across Paw Patrol with nieces and nephews. Nah. You look after? Oh, he's a police dog. He's a German shimmy.

He's got the full outfit. He's got the full kit. Well, that's what they need. That's what they need. He's a real chase. Aw. That's what they need, the full kit. Yeah.

That dog can drive a car too, so let's not expect too much of a somber. Google Maps have dealt a blow to the flat earthers, even though, I mean, mapping itself would deal a blow to the flat earthers, even though, I mean, mapping itself would deal a blow to the flat earthers. We don't have flat earthers in New Zealand. Yes, we do. Do we? We've got all sorts of nut jobs. You see the amount of people that want to go and see those right-wing lunatics speak last week?

There's no shortage of crazy people in this country. Flat earthers is one thing. Racism is one thing, but flat earthers I won't stand for. Come on. What do they think when they see the moon and that's like round?

I don't know. Like disc-like. Oh, so there's a disc up there. Oh. That's what they say, yeah. I don't know if they think that's a disc. Or a projection.

Do they think it's a projection? Probably. I don't know. Then probably if you drew a Venn diagram of flat earthers and a Venn diagram of people who thought the moon landing was a fraud,

there'd be a big crossover. There would be, yeah. There'd be a big crossover in the middle. I'm just trying to find out what it's called, because you know how traditional flat maps, when you look at a flat map of the earth, it distorts the countries. The countries in the middle look bigger.

Right. We look smaller because we're on the under curve, the undercarriage. Yeah, but we are small though, aren't we? We are small, but have you ever seen New Zealand plopped on top of Europe? Yeah. We pretty much go from top to bottom of Europe. There's parts of the upper north and the southernmost point of New Zealand that kind of reach the top and the bottom of Europe.

But we look so much smaller than Europe. And I think it's called the Mercator Projection. Anyway, to deal with all sorts of things, now when you zoom right out on Google Maps, you see a globe. It used to just be the big flat map and you'd scroll sideways. But now when you zoom right out you actually rotate the globe.

So how is that? Okay, that's not going to go down well with flat earthers. Well, no, they'll just think this is just an absolute joke. They'll think Google's

in on it, on the whole conspiracy. Oh, 100%. Yeah, right. They'll be saying they're Illuminati. I want to talk about this too because I talked to you guys

about this last week. It blew my mind how much further south South America goes than Africa. It blew my mind how much further south South America goes than Africa. It blew my mind. The thing that gave this away was I saw the area of Africa that's got the equator that goes through it. And I was like, no, that's too far south.

That's right through the Democratic Republic of Congo. And then I zoomed out and I can't believe that South America goes so much further south. It's amazing. You learn something about it every day. Revelations. Yeah. Revelations.

Yeah, and the other thing about how far down Korea is, Korea was kind of up above Japan. Right. But it's not. No, it's right down by the bottom of Japan. Well, at least you can name countries. Yeah. Like a lot of Americans pointing at, at least you can name countries. Yeah. Like a lot of Americans pointing at a map can't even name a country.

Oh, yeah, that was a disturbing thing to see on Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, a few weeks ago. But you'd be able to name our country, Megan. Yeah. You'd be able to name many countries. There's Americans that couldn't even point out America. Russia, that's the big one up the top, that's easy. Yeah, just go right on top and look for the biggest point out America. Russia. That's the big one up the top. That's easy. Yeah. Just go right up the top and look for the biggest one.

That's Russia. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening around New Zealand on local Facebook pages. Community Notices is its name. Let's start. This is from the Rangitiki page,

and this all kicked off because Janie went down to Countdown. She was going to Countdown, and she wanted to park outside in the Parents with Prams car park because she is indeed a parent who had a pram and needed the wider space in the convenient park. Okay.

And to find that they were all taken. Oh, no. There was ones taken with other cars with parents and prams. Yeah. But one was taken by a contractor's van. And she apparently approached the man in the van and said, hey, this is a parents with prams car park. And he said, it's also a park to check your ATM,

the automatic teller machine. And she said, I don't know about that. And so he sat in the van while the other guy, who was the passenger in the van, checked. Yeah. Checked his balance, didn't get any cash out, and then she said it was quite rude, and then they drove off.

So she took it upon herself to tell the story and photos of the van in the park and posted it on the Facebook page of a aforementioned contractor. Yeah. To obviously say to the boss, Yeah. They're doing this in a sign written van

and it's obviously not good for your reputation. Yeah. To which the owner of said contracting business wrote, if you keep your legs closed, there wouldn't be any need for these sorts of parks. And from what I've heard, there was heaps of spare spots. You can't say that. He did.

Mate. He did. It is his name and it is commented on his contracting page and the name is written on the side of the van. If you kept your legs closed. You would not need the part. Because that's the only way she got pregnant.

She opened her legs and it just happened. And a seed blew in. It's all her. She was pollinated. For the northerly. So yeah. There's that.

Wow. There's that. Next up, this is from the Facebook Marketplace. Somebody looking to swap cheese for a car. They say, I've recently come into possession of a whole wheel of genuine Parmigiana cheese. It's 35 kgs in weight. So how much is that?

That would be a heaps. Is it like Parmigiana Reggiano? Yeah, Parmigiana Reggiano. Shut up. That would be so skinny. I own genuine Parmigiana Reggiano. Yeah, Parmigiano-Reggiano. Shut up. That would be so skinny. Genuine Parmigiano-Reggiano. Yeah. 35kgs of weight, which sold at the supermarket deli prices,

where it's $60 a kg, would be $2,100 worth of cheese. Oh, that's more than my car. I'm pretty sure the wholesale value is roughly half of that. I don't really need 35kgs of Italian cheese. I'm posting this on here on the off chance I might be able to arrange to trade it for something I do need, like a laptop or ideally a manual car. It may be unlikely, but I don't know if I don't try. P.S. I got this totally legally.

Yeah, I was going to be like, boop. That was my question, yeah. Because if you got 35 kgs of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese totally legally, you'd put a photo of it just like plonked in the boot of your car. Just like, yeah. Here it is in the boot of my car. No wrapping or anything, just sitting on the boot. No, no, waxy wrap, straight on the furry lining of a boot.

That's going to have a little bit. That's going to pick those ones off. Yeah. Next up, let's go to Hibiscus Coast free stuff page where someone says, help please, I'm in need of some rice for dinner as I've got three meals planned for the week with rice, but I've run out. And if anyone has some tampons too, that'd be amazing.

No car till eight, so just drop them off at my house. Thanks. But if you're doing meal prep, can't you meal prep the other couple of days, like tomorrow when you've got a car? And rice? Yeah, like get the rice then. Who just expects people to drop things off to them

when they're asking for them? I don't know, because I always saw these free stuff pages where you put up when you've got free stuff, not when you want free stuff. Yeah, yeah. You've got like, oh, I'm getting rid of this. Can't be bothered selling. So just first done, first served.

But could work the other way around. Yeah. So this one from Vic Deals. Luke writes, anyone with 12-inch snare drums that they don't need? That's an essential piece of drum kit. Yeah. The old 12-inch snare drums. Will swap for cash or sprouting potatoes.

We'll swap for cash. I think that's called all buying. Yeah. I'll buy them off you or we can swap for sprouting potatoes. Now, I don't know a lot about drums or the going price of a sprouting potato, but it seems like there would have to be a lot of sprouting potatoes. It also sounds grim in that flat too. You've got sprouting potatoes and a flatmate that loves

to play the snare drums. Damp and dark and the potatoes have started sprouting in the pantry. This one would be the most reported incident of community notice over the weekend. It comes from the East Auckland Grapevine page and Sophie is our poster. Hi guys, an incident happened this

morning a street up from Half Moon Bay Marina. Being the amazing person that I am, I dropped a pie from mobile to my hungover friend and left it in her letterbox. However, when she woke up to actually go and get the pie, someone had stolen it. Now, when I dropped it off, there was nothing in the letterbox,

but when my friend went to get it, it had been replaced with a newspaper. The last few months, I've been very cautious with keeping all my valuables out of my car with the amount of break-ins happening around the east of Auckland, but never would I expect something like this.

If anyone saw anything, please PM me. My friend is hungover, disappointed, and has now gotten out of bed twice on a Sunday before 11pm. Please stay safe. Crime is getting worse. Why don't you just go in and give it to them?

That's my biggest problem. It sounds like they're trying to claim the good friend credit. Yeah. And say, oh yeah, I totally dropped a pie off. But they didn't. Yeah. Because what sort of friend would leave a pie in the letterbox? Yeah, that's not a place to leave a pie.

You'd knock on a window so your friend could roll over, open the window, and you'd pass the pie through the window. But also, who's stealing a pie? You walk past and you're like, there is definitely a pie in there. But that's actually another good point. Could a dog have

nuzzled its way in? There'd be rappers and evidence. I thought you meant rappers as in people who rap. Oh yeah, they could have

stopped by as well for a pie. Yo, what's happening, pa? I want to eat you, pa, pa, pa. Mince cheese, I love pies.

Yum, yum, yum. Eating a pie. I'm a rapper. It's what I do. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours, FEMZM on Facebook. FEMZM.

Australia have decided that they are going to take the gist, the GST, off sanitary items. 15% off Tammys? No, these is 10%. Oh. Which they call it a luxury tax. On a luxury item. When I think of luxury, my initial thoughts are sanitary items.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, the luxury of periods. If we could all be so lucky. Yeah, who calls that a luxury item? It must be someone who's literally never had a period because it's not luxurious at all. Is that like a

thing that could happen in New Zealand? They've just lowered the price of them, right? But can they take the GST? They could take the GST off them, right? That's totally a government thing. So then the government pays for it?

No, they just don't make tax off it. So the prices just come down on the supermarket. Right. Okay, well, let's do that then. Is that fair enough though? It would be something. I'm just wondering, okay, you get something cheaper. What do I get?

Okay, I'm playing devil's avocado here. That was... Devil's avocado. get something cheaper, what do I get? I'm playing devil's avocado here. That was what's going to happen. Well, when you get older, you get your Viagra subsidised. Do you know Australia... Where can I start asking for that? Do you know this new story I saw?

Australian men do get Viagra subsidised. New Zealand men get Viagra subsidised. So New Zealand, we do as well. New Zealand men get Viagra subsidised. That's crazy. So we subsidise your good times, but our whole lives are like something we can't control. No. You know why?

It's because the guy that was in charge of that popped a Viagra and then his wife's like, I can't, I've got my period. And he's like, you'll pay for this. Quite literally, you will pay for this and I will not pay for this. That's my, yeah, that's a real bugger bill of mine. That's, yeah, to me too, that's crazy.

I think Chuck Condom's on the list as well. Well, they are subsidised already, aren't they though? Are they? Yeah, well, you can get a prescription and those are subsidised, but you're not at the supermarket. Can we get a prescription? Yeah, we did, but how do you get a prescription and those are subsidised but you're not at the supermarket. Can you get a prescription? Yeah. We go to the doctor but how do you

get a prescription for them? You know when you go to the doctor and he's like when you've got kids he's like you've got enough

Pamol at home? That's what the doctor says every time. And you're like oh I could probably do with another bottle. And it's like two bottles of Pamol

that were like two bucks each. So when you're there does the doctor say oh do you need any more condoms? Yeah and you can just get a you just get a list. doctor say, oh, do you need any more condoms? Yeah, and you can just get a...

No, you just get a list. Like, I need Panadol. I need all my asthma inhalers. I need condoms. I need like earth hanging. I am here, boy. Fill out my shopping list. Yeah, yeah.

What, um... But then does the doctor scoff if you're like, oh, yeah, 50 condoms. He'd be like, all right. Don't you judge me. You reckon, do you? What do you use those for? A water bomb fight. 50. Oh, write it down becauseoms. He'd be like, all right. Don't you judge me. You reckon, do you? What are you using those for?

A water bomb fight. 50. Oh, write it down because I think it's hilarious. But we all know you're wasting half of those. He's like, you know these expire in 2028. How many are you putting on at once? You should only be putting them on one at a time. 50 condoms.

This guy. Jeez. The Top Six with Vaughn Jeez. Hello. Yes, today's top six. Lance Bastrom in sync. He's heartbroken at the moment. Not because of somebody breaking his heart, other than the real estate market.

He really wanted to buy the house from the Brady Bunch. We thought to live in, but we have since learned, Megan, he actually renovates houses. Yeah, he wanted to do it up just like the Brady Bunch. We thought to live in, but we have since learned, Megan, he actually renovates houses. Yeah, he wanted to do it up just like the Brady Bunch back in the day and then sell it off. So refurnish it and redecorate it so it looked exactly like the show and then sell it off. Yeah.

Right, okay. And he was heartbroken. He said he was beaten out by a Hollywood studio with untold millions and he just felt really little and horrible. Yeah, it swooped in from under him and took it. So the top six other famous houses Lance Bass could buy and, you know, redecorate to make it look like they did in the movies or the TV. Okay.

Number six, the Home Alone house. Oh, yeah. Massive house. Yeah, that's huge. Huge house. A lot of the time these houses are just the outside, aren't they? They don't actually film on the inside. Oh, yeah, true.

But then the McAllister house was two storeys, so you could definitely ride a sled down the front stairs out the door. Yep. And it looked like it had a basement. Most houses in America do have a basement. What did that family do to have so much money? I remember thinking that as a

kid, and then there was that meme of, now that I'm an adult, I wonder what the hell Mr McAllister was doing to afford a house like this and to take his whole family away on a Christmas vacation. Drugs. Had to have been. Drugs. Yep, most definitely. Number five on the list of the

top six other famous houses Lance Bass could buy, the Full House house. Oh yeah. You can see, you can go see that when you're in San Fran. Yeah. But then again, sadly, that was a massive lie because the outside of that house wasn't the roomy, spacious, width but deep townhouse that we saw on the inside. Yeah.

That was a studio in LA. San Fran was the outside. Number four on the list of the famous houses Lance Bass could buy, Downton Abbey. Oh, yeah. That's an actual castle. Do you know when the person, I've buy? Downton Abbey. Oh, yeah. That's an actual castle. Do you know when the... I've never seen Downton Abbey,

but the person that wrote Downton Abbey actually wrote it with that castle in mind. Oh, right. They wrote it about that castle. Oh, right. Or the Abbey. Is it a good show to watch? Or is it just a mum's show?

I think it's really good. Is it just a mum's show? There was a woman in their 20s that were really taken with Downton Abbey. It's not you, Megan? No, I've never watched it. She's allergic. But, no, I've heard that people get really addicted to it.

It might be what I get my wife onto now that Love Island's finished. That's what I was just going to say. Maybe that could replace Love Island. Get some Fortnite time. Because they're British. They're posh, though, aren't they? They're posh, yeah. I like my British shows a bit trashier.

Right, not unclass. And they don't have plastic drink bottles. Yeah, with their names on them. They have like ceramic cups or something. Yeah. China sets. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six houses Lance Bass could buy,

the Jerry Seinfeld apartment building. That was an actual apartment building. The apartments in it might look somewhat different, but in New York, the apartment building for Seinfeld, you. Oh, yeah. That was an actual apartment building. The apartments in it might look somewhat different, but in New York, the apartment building for Seinfeld, you could purchase that one. Number two on the list

of the famous houses Lance Bass could buy, the Friends apartment. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Someone's missed the trick by not building even just a duplex,

so it didn't have the multi-levels, but so you could have two houses, one on each side of a corridor. Yeah. Someone could have

the Monica and Rachel and someone could have the houses, one on each side of a corridor. Yeah. Someone could have the Monica and Rachel, and someone could have the Chandler and Joey. Building it to that specifications and hiring it out, how many people would want to stay in the Friends of Balliard house? Imagine if you could Airbnb that. That would be so cool. That would be. People would stay there.

Yeah. And the number one house Lance Bass could buy in today's top six, because he missed out on the Brady Bunch house, the Fresh Prince of Balea house. Oh, yeah, the man. It wasn't really a house. It's a mansion. A man mansion.

Huge mansion. In Beverly Hills. In Balea. Was it in Balea or was it in Beverly Hills? They're right beside each other, right? Your home to Balea. Yeah. But then the actual house,

because I've been past the actual house. Yep. It's on a hill. It's deceptive. They lied and used angles and everything to get the front shot of it, because I've been past the actual house. Yep. It's on a hill. It's deceptive. They lied and used angles and everything to get the front shot of it. Because they never really showed it. They filmed a few outside front angles and then you never saw the outside of the house. Did you go past it?

Yeah, on a Hollywood Homes tour. Oh, cool. I know. It was like the highlight of my trip because the rest of them was like, oh, we'll park here, look down the driveway. That's David Beckham's house right at the end. You can't really see it. But anyway, he's down there.

But the Fresh Prince one, you saw the whole thing. Pulled up right outside. That's today's top six. Pinker said to defend herself after she was in Australia. So she's doing her shows over there before she pops over here. She is in Sydney and she postponed her Sydney concert because she's sick. So it's still going to happen, maybe at a later date. But that's still, if you're flying in or you have to come from out of town.

I didn't think about that. That's really annoying. Yeah. So she's rescheduled it. She's calling it an upper respiratory tract infection. So she's got like some. A chest infection. Yeah.

A throat infection. So she's got like some... A chest infection. Yeah, yeah. A throat infection. Now, the problem with that is she was seen on a beach. She was papped on a beach with her kids and some friends the day that she was supposed to be doing the concert.

Oh. Amateur. Amateur. It's like a sinus. I've just Googled more about what it was. It's like a sinus infection. Okay. Which would make about what it was. It's like a sinus infection. Okay. Which would make singing hard and would probably make your singing not sound great.

Yeah. But we're in winter. Should they have been at the beach? What was the temperature? It was Byron Bay, wasn't it? Yeah. It would have been nice. It would have been a nice, you know, like early 20s, mid 20s maybe.

Even in winter. So these paps, these cheeky paps published the pictures. Everyone saw them and was like, ah, what the hell? So she felt the need to defend herself. She put a picture up on her Instagram and was like, hey, what you don't see in this photo is that I went to the doctor twice that day. I'm on antibiotics, steroids,

a multitude of medication. You can think whatever you want, it's your right, but I've never taken advantage of anyone in my entire life. So she's like, I am really sick. What you can't whatever you want, it's your right, but I've never taken advantage of anyone in my entire life. So she's like, I am really sick. What you can't see in this photo is that my friends were looking after Willow while I was lying down in this, you know, trying to collect myself. So she's

saying she was still sick. I don't think the beach is a place to be when you're sick. I can see why people are pissy. I wouldn't want to leave. I just want to be in bed and not around people. I don't know. I always said want to leave. I just want to be in bed and not around people. I don't know. I always said that with musicians, how they perform when they've got a cold or anything,

getting out there and giving it everything. Yeah. It must be crazy. So, but then I also was raised by a woman who wouldn't let you leave your bed if you had to have a sick day. So I also think you don't... That's the thing.

If you're cancelling that concert, you would just make sure you hunkered down, right? Yeah. No one saw you. You wouldn't go out. Yeah. Especially, I imagine it must have been in the area, right? Yeah.

Because if she spotted a Byron Bay. Byron Bay is like, you'd have to fly there. Oh, would you? Oh, would you? Wait, where was Sydney? So she cancelled a Sydney show. Sydney show. Yeah.

And she was spotted a Byron Bay. Oh. Oh. So that's where I preempted a Sydney show. And she was spotted in Byron Bay. Oh. Oh. So that's how my girlfriend ended a sick day. You don't travel with a sinus infection. Like, that hurts. So the thing is, I mean, I know she didn't post on social media, but if you have a sick day, you stay off social media.

Yeah, you're not like, I'm going to the movies. I mean, at least you're posting an in-bed, you know, arm sack. Those are annoying as a side note, but either way, you don't post being out and about. You're not going out for a nice walk. You don't post an Instagram story.

No, but the trouble is you might not post and you might still get caught out. Well, yeah, well, luckily the everyday person doesn't have paparazzi. Paparazzi, yeah. Dobbing them in. Dobbing them in, yeah. Well, I'd love to know this morning

if you have got caught out. On a sick day? Yeah. Whether it was, you know, your boss or anything saw you out, or whether you forgot and posted a picture yourself on social. The thing is, sometimes you do need to go out when you're sick, so you might need to go to the doctor or the supermarket.

True. But does that look guilty? No, no one's going to have a good idea for going to the supermarket. But you've got to be in a hoodie and track pants and look like a real sack of shit.

Right. Don't get glammed up. Right, okay. You want to look terrible. You want to look as bad as you feel. No, I do my makeup when I feel sick

because it makes me feel better. No, you want to look as bad as you feel. Yeah. I'm with Warren. If you're going out, you can't drag yourself out. Like, don't even wipe the snot off your face. Let it flow down your face.

Have a sick day. Really let everybody know. You get to the doctor. The doctor walks in because, you know, the doctor's like, how are you? Stupid question because you're at the doctor's. Yeah, yeah. How are you? You want to look so poorly that the doctor doesn't even ask that.

He knows. You walk in and they're just like, oh, God. Put the mask on. So do you want to hear from people that have had a sick day and have been caught out when they actually weren't sick or were sick? Or both? Both. Both, okay.

I mean, if you were sick, you're not really being caught out though, are you? Well, maybe you were wrongly accused. Or if you were actually sick, but you're still doing something fun like going to the movies. And who called you out? Yeah, or a 21st or a... Yeah. The Racers.

I don't know. What about if, on the other side of it, what if... Because do you remember when I lived with hospital people and students? Yeah. And they'd always get turnt. Oh, nah. No. No, it was.

No, no, it was. That's what they said then. There was a time when you say you were going to get turnt. They'd get turnt on a Monday or a Tuesday. Oh. And like one Monday or a Tuesday, I can't remember what it was, I got caught right up in it and I was violently ill. And it turns out, I don't remember,

but we'd had the noise people around. Yeah. And I was just called into work. I was like, can't come into work. I feel very, very sick. And I remember

I was working with Fletcher when we worked afternoons and the noise control person rang in and said, I know why you're sick. The noise control got me. What a knock. I know, total knock.

All right, well, 0800 DALSLES-AT-AIR-9696. When did you get caught out on a sick day? We're talking about when you took a sick day and got busted taking that sick day. This is off the back of Pink's Day Off. Canceled a concert in Sydney but spotted in Byron Bay enjoying the weather. Yeah. So you definitely can't drive to Byron Bay. Well, you could, but it would take you like eight hours.

She's not driving, is she? At least. From Sydney. Yeah. So she would have flown with a sinus infection. On more like 10 hours. Because that's only an hour from the Goldie and stuff. And it takes like, isn't it 12 hours from Sydney to Brisbane?

Yeah, I think so. Something crazy like that. Yeah. and it takes like, isn't it 12 hours from Sydney to Brisbane? Yeah, I think so. Something crazy like that? Yeah. And she'll be in a private plane without it, but even still flying when you're sick isn't that bad. If you've got a sinus infection, and that's apparently what she kind of had.

Some text messages in on it. Somebody said, I know someone who worked for Air New Zealand, called in sick, but then used staff travel to go to Australia. Oh, yeah, that's like, come on. Not particularly inconspicuous and definitely got caught. My friend who is, I'll just say, in the aviation industry, booked flights to come to a wedding, called in sick,

came back to New Zealand for a wedding, but flew on the opposition airline and it just paid for flights. Oh. Because, again, if they use staff travel, it pops up. Whereas it just doesn't pop up. Man, that's ballsy. I know, it is ballsy, eh? I'd just take a holiday day.

Yeah. Yeah. But that's the thing, they weren't denied a holiday day. They just didn't want to use their holiday day. Yeah, just didn't want to. I think they'd use them all. Right. They were just like, oh, well, call in sick. Somebody else said they had a friend who called in sick to go to the cricket

and got spotted by his boss when someone dropped one of those two-way catches right beside them and the camera did one of those really slow close-ups. Replay, replay, replay. Definitely him. And all the replays. Definitely him. All the replays.

We've got an anonymous caller on the phone. Anonymous caller, what happened? Yeah, about two years ago, I was a current global colleague who got sick that day. Yeah. I was on the air. Oh, you're fine. Yeah, fine's cut out.

Your phone's cutting out. Is it? Yeah. Is it? Yep. Okay. I'll just pop you on hold. I don't know, Caitlin,

see if you can get a better line there. Some other text messages in. I took the day off. I went to the doctor's that's next to Rainbow's End. I don't know if there was a doctor's next to Rainbow's End. And the doctor said I had to pick up a prescription. So I wandered over to the mall. Then the person said the prescription's going to be a little bit.

So I went next door, bought a top. Then I get a phone said the prescription's going to be a little bit so I went next door, bought a top. Yeah. Then I get a phone call and it's the boss asking me why I'm shopping if I needed a sick day. And someone had spotted me, somebody from my work

had spotted me, called the cop, called the boss. Called the cops. Not the cops. Called the boss and said if they're sick and had sent a picture

through of me shopping. What a nut. Oh no. And I got a warning too. Even with that explanation. I would have taken a sick certificate in. Yeah, they'd been. They'd been to the doctor.

Oh, that's rough. Somebody else had a sick day or as I call it a CBF day from work. Went for a drive to get some lunch. A guy ran a red light and crashed into me in the work car. Got totally written off and then the boss man drove past and saw.

Oh no. Oops. But then you could totally say you might be sick but you might need something to eat. Yeah. Or get it sorted. Somebody else said I had a day off from work because a friend was in town and I just said I was feeling really ill and I was going to go to the doctor

and get it all sorted. The boss apparently felt so bad that he'd been overworking me and making me work long hours and wasn't being appreciative enough that he brought around a bunch of flowers to my house and he got there and wasn't there and we weren't there. So we waited, thinking if they've gone to the doctor, they won't be long. Well, we arrived back in the car all go. Yeah.

And yeah. Oh, no. Took some explaining. Oh, no won't be long. Well, we arrived back in the car, all go. Yeah. And, yeah. Oh, no. Took some explaining. Oh, no. Took some explaining. Well, yeah, like, Pink has to do some explaining today. Yeah.

But then people are texting in having a go at us about not letting Pink have a day off. We fully understand that her show is very full on and there's the singing and dancing and the acrobatic stuff for two hours. Well, Justin Timberlake came out, didn't he, and said

come on, cut us some slack. You don't know what it's like. Oh yeah, she's doing two hours of intense cardio and singing at the same time. Let's see a spin instructor do that with a sinus infection. True. Snapchat could be bad for your health. There is a thing called Snapchat

dysmorphia. It is a term that a British cosmetics doctor has coined. So this is where younger people are obsessing over minor flaws in their appearance and are wanting to get plastic surgery to look more like Snapchat filters. But then that's what Snapchat filters are for. What?

You can look like that without having to have surgery. I know, but they want to look like that walking around every day. Well, just don't leave your house. Do all of your communicating from Snapchat. So, they literally... Skype needs to get in on this. Have Snapchat filters. Yeah, live Snapchat

filters on Skype, because when you're Skyping your parents, how freaked out would they be if all of a sudden you were a dog? What's on your face? Something's on your face. And it's like... your parents how freaked out would they be if all of a sudden you were a dog. I mean, that'd be the dog. What's on your face? Something's on your face. And it's like, yeah. But then they'd turn on the dog filter and every time they speak, it's like.

That'd be great. How do I turn it off? Just press the thing down. What? They'd accidentally turn it on and they're never to be able to turn it off. Oh, yeah, that's a good call. Classic. Yeah. So people are finding that in real life they can't swipe a filter to make their imperfect face.

So they are going to plastic surgeons and asking for fuller lips, larger eyes, and bigger cheeks. I was going to say, please tell me dog ears. Bigger eyes, easy. No. So apparently they have a waiting list of 55%. Plastic surgeons have said 55% of their patients are wanting to improve their appearance in selfies. Surely that's 100% of people who go to see a cosmetic surgeon

who want to improve their appearance in selfies. No, but that's their reasoning. So when you talk to the doctor beforehand, that's their reason for getting plastic surgery is... Show them how to get, like, a sweet lighting and, like, good angles for them and stuff. Upward angle, like... Yeah.

But that's a thing. Now, doctors and stuff are saying that people should undergo checks for underlying body image issues before they have all this plastic surgery done because they're like, well, if you want to look like a Snapchat filter, there's something else going on here. Yeah. How crazy is that? And how easily influenced we are. Like you watch Love Island and you're like, I want Megan lips.

And so they've, like, got a massive rise in lip injections. And now we've got Snapchat filters and we want bigger eyes. I don't even know how you would do that. I don't think you can, can you? Unless they just trim your eyelids or something. But then you'd see, like, you know, when you pull your eye down to put eyedrops in and you see all that red stuff and like the bottom of your eye

is not sexy. It's not like underboob, under eye is not sexy. Just steal a road cone and put that on your head. Be that filter. You're supposed to say you're the most beautiful you,

you know? Oh yeah, you're the most beautiful you, yeah. But if you're on a real life one, just thinking that's probably the easiest one to make, isn't it?

Just put a road cone on your head. Yeah. Talk like this. Done. You're welcome. Just save you a trip to the plastic surgeon. Yeah. Just wear a plastic cone.

Damn. Facebook is trialling something. They don't like anyone getting ahead on any kind of app or anything, eh? Because they're like, Instagram's good, let's buy it. Well, they tried to buy Snapchat, didn't they? And Spiegel's was like, nah. So he's like, alright, I'll just destroy you then. I'll just copy every feature. Silly Spiegel.

Now it's going down, isn't it? Spiegel's got Miranda Kerr. Yeah, so he doesn't care. So, you win some, you lose some. Well, Facebook dating is apparently being trialled. This is an app that Facebook is doing. So, I guess it's someone who's working internally in Facebook

or somehow they've got screenshots. These screenshots of an internal test of Facebook dating have been leaked. So would this be through your Messenger app or will it be a whole new app, do you reckon? Because you don't want people is that too close? Because there's Facebook. So apps wise there's Facebook. There's Facebook pages if you've got a Facebook page.

There's Facebook Messenger. There's Facebook ads if you run ads on your. They've got a raft of apps at their disposal. So it'll be a new app I reckon it'll be a new app that links to your Facebook account. Yeah.

So this is like... How do we feel about that? I don't know. Well, I mean, people are telling lies on Facebook every day to their friends. What does it matter if they're telling fibs to strangers to try to get some nuke out of them? So we can see the sign-up screens

and then a notice saying that this product is for US Facebook employees who have opted into dogfooding Facebook's new dating product. Dogfooding? That's what it says. That's got to be a tech term. Is that a tech term? Tech term for trying it out, yeah.

Right, okay. So I guess it's coming. I don't know how long would it take between testing and getting to us. Yeah, dogfooding is to use a product or service developed by that company as to test it before it is made available to customers. Right. How do we feel about a Facebook dating app, Caitlin? I don't know.

Is my friends and family going to be able to see? That you're dating? Yeah. Because I've got rules, especially with mum. I can't tell her I'm even talking to someone until it's like quite serious. No, you'll be able to. Because she plans a wedding. You'll be able to.

Goodness me. What do you get that from? You'll be able to see your privacy because you can share things from different apps onto Facebook, but have it so only you can see it. Yeah. It's got here in the privacy settings who can see your dating profiles. So yeah, you just take Mama Jane out of it. And it's called dogfooding

because apparently if you're making your dog food, you should always test it before you give it to it. Yuck. But then is it just for my friends or not? It's open to everyone. Oh, man. They'll just rip off Tinder one. Yeah.

And then goodbye Tinder. Yeah. Well, Tinder's yuck anyway. Let's get rid of it. Come on. It's just a hookup app. You need it in reserves just in Yeah. Well, Tinder's yuck anyway. Let's get rid of it. Come on, yeah. It's just a hookup app. You need it in reserves just in case. Oh, yeah, but...

But what's to stop this from just being a hookup app? Well, see, Megan, you don't have to... I don't want to cast a bad aspersion on humanity, but we'll turn anything into a hookup app. Yeah, there's going to be guys involved is my thing. Yeah. See, you don't even understand. It's so hard out there.

No, I understand. God, you've just turned 28 and it's so hard out there. No, I understand. God, you've just turned 28 and it's all over, isn't it? Fletch, stop it. I swear to God, I will hurt you. We'll turn in. Well, I think we should get Caitlin and James into the studio because Caitlin's going to make a confession for us. So come on in, guys.

We'll get your two microphones turned on here. Okay. We'll get those up. Who knows about this? Just for... I don't know. Did you tell James? Yeah, I...

You've confessed a little bit of a confession to James. Because James is my... Get the whole show in here. ...work husband. Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. Now, James, whereabouts did that music bed go?

Whereabouts do we need to look for that? It's just in the top of the FEM, Fletch. Okay. Do you want me to kick this off? I'll tell you need to look for that. It's just in the top of FEM Fletch. Okay. Do you want me to kick this off? I'll tell you when to kick it off. Okay.

Because this isn't a confession really Caitlin it's an intervention isn't it? It is. And it's not an intervention for Caitlin it's an intervention

for Fletch. Play the music. Your Honour! The people. I knew this was I knew there was something happening here. I, the prosecution accuse Fletch of secret weekend travels.

Yes! Yes! I knew this was coming. I knew this was coming. Silence! My charge goes beyond secrets into a wicked web of deceit and lies. For he not only failed to inform his nearest and dearest of his weekend plans, but he lied about his intentions and dragged his angelic mother Bev

into his devilish dishonesty. Last week, I, for the record, Vaughn Alan Smith, said to Carl Peter Fletcher, are you going to catch up with your mum this weekend? Yes, he said, yes. You bitch. When he asked Caitlin about sharing an Uber to the airport, she said she was driving and would give him a ride.

She said in front of the group, are you off to New Plymouth? Again, yes, was his response. As a group, Megan and I whed that everyone was away this weekend. James, away with his friends to Omaha. Caitlin to Christchurch to celebrate and Fletch said he was going to New Plymouth. But Megan and I were staying home again, a chance for him

to give us the honest truth. I knew this was happening. On the way to the airport, Caitlin asked if he had any hikes planned in New Plymouth as he never ever goes to New Plymouth for a whole weekend to do nothing. His response was, Caitlin asked if he had any hikes planned in New Plymouth, as he never ever goes to New Plymouth for a whole weekend to do nothing. His response was, Caitlin? Nah, I'm just chilling. Not much. Just

chilling in New Plymouth. He never chills and he never chills in New Plymouth. I recall Fletch asking Caitlin if she was travelling Air New Zealand or Jetstar to Christ's Church. She said Jetstar and he laughed because he said he was travelling Air New Zealand. When they reached the airport

he said to Caitlin that he had to go to the bathroom and took the opportunity I'm going to the bathroom have a great weekend, happy birthday. This is when one would head to the Karu Lounge for snacks and free white champagne. Why would he be going to the bathroom on this side of

domestic security? Caitlin sent the group a side of domestic security? Caitlin sent the group a photo of domestic security lines. Fletch never replied saying he was experiencing the same hold-ups. And we always know he goes on about the lines at travel. Because at this stage, to you, the people, I put to you, he was skedaddling to international departures, Your Honour. He wasn't going to New Plymouth at all.

He was travelling to Australia secretly without any of his workmates or friends knowing a damned thing about it. On Friday evening, I was contacted by a friend that said they just saw Fletch boarding a flight to Australia. I know who that friend is. They were also going to Australia, but to a different city. The destinations were boarding at gates beside each other. It was at the stage that the penny dropped and the lies started to unravel. Not a single Instagram post or story over the weekend from Fletch.

Not a single one. Which isn't the case, because if he'd gone to New Plymouth, he always lets me know the state of the monger. And if you can see, the monger. An email came through with show ideas for the week. You've written a lot here. This one would have been at the airport time coming back from a certain Australian city.

Including the topic, Australia has taken the tax off tampons without any reference to a story. The sort of story one would come across if they spent a weekend in Australia. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, people of New Zealand, the lies have become too much for me to handle and I

stand here accusing Fletch of lying and deceitful activities. The prosecution rests. Sometimes you just don't need to tell you guys where you're going. You left the country. You left the country. Tell us the truth.

Explain yourself. We deserve the truth. Well, no, I just didn't want to say, because you know when you go away somewhere, you just don't want to catch up with people? Like, you've got other plans? We weren't there. You could have told us.

You could have told me. We are girlfriends in the car. You could have just told me. could have told me. We are girlfriends in the car. You could have just told me. I just got too deep. The lies got too deep. You are such a deceit. He's caught up in his own lies. You are uninvited to my Waiheke weekend.

That's all right, Caitlin. He's probably going overseas again. I knew you were on to me. As soon as I saw her, I was like... You can't say anything from Bourne Smith. This investigation started Friday afternoon. It did. And I am a weak piece together.

We were shook up. We were shook up. You naughty, naughty man. You spoiled Disney on ice for me. My mind could not relax and enjoy the spectacle that is Disney on ice. What if something had happened to you? What do you mean? I can't believe you dragged your mum into it. I almost called her

over the weekend when this was burning a hole in my mind. I only said I was going there a couple of times. And then you guys kept asking. I was like, yeah, good. Don't ask. I got deep into the lie. So did you bring us anything back from... No. No, because you were just trying to keep it a secret. You're keeping it a lie. Deep. So did you bring us anything back from... No. No, because you're just trying to keep it a secret.

Keeping it a secret. Well, you think you know someone. You don't know them at all. No. All right. Well, we're all shooketh and hurt, but that's okay. I knew it wasn't going to be a confession. We're going to wait until it's clear.

Dastardly kids. Hey, we are like Scooby. We just need a dog. We could totally be Scooby-Doo. And his gang. Anything to say for yourself? No. All right. Look at you.

I knew you'd bring this up. When we ran into a mutual friend at the airport, I was like, damn it. I nearly got away with it. I was like, why is she flying to New Plymouth? That's what I said. Yeah. I said, what are you going to New Plymouth for? She's like, I'm not going to New Plymouth. I'm going to Australia. I should have told you.

Do you know, you would have got away with it if I hadn't wondered what was a good central Auckland restaurant that was kid friendly. She knows. So I messaged her. She told me and then said she'd just seen you at the airport. F.E.M. We were doing the groceries yesterday, me and my husband.

And I actually can't tell you what got us into this argument. I think someone beeped their horn and we started singing the Pussycat Dolls beep. Okay. Beep Okay Now that beep Listening back to that song That beep sure covered A lot of different Things back in the day Doesn't it

Because she's doing the thing And he's playing with his beep Yeah But it's actually The last bit of what you just played That we got into A massive argument about Because we were singing along

And then I was like At the end of it I went Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Which is what they do at the end of it I went ha ha ha ha ha ha which is what they do at the end of that little clip you played except when we both sung it we sung it completely

differently and we ended up launching into the most fiery argument about which you put on your Instagram story last night we're arguing over the how does it go ha ha ha ha ha no that's not it that's not right last night. We're arguing over the how does it go? No, that's not it.

That's not right. It's not it. Hold on. Wait for it. By the way, we're at the Pack and Save car park. That's what I said. Oh, come on.

That's what I said. That's not what you did. That is what I did. No, go back. So, it sounds all funny there. How old is Toyboy? 22. 24.

Is he? Should they grow up quick? They do grow up so fast. He's 24, so he was born in 1994. 94. Yeah. That song came out in 2005. He was 11 when that song came out.

That would have been my main line of prosecution attack. You don't even remember because he would have been watching it as an 11-year-old. There was all these attractive women and they were doing their beep and touching, he was probably touching his beep and I'd just say,

look, you don't know. But then hearing him do it, he was wildly incorrect. Right? Yeah. So, it sounds happy there but we ended up

getting into like quite a heated argument. Oh, welcome to married life. There was swearing and in the end he's like, no, I'm out, I want a divorce. Now, it carried on into the supermarket, but I put it to everyone on my Instagram.

I clearly won, but there were people that believed he was right. Can you play, have you got the thing where it actually... I think it goes ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Do you want the original? Yes, please. Okay. You don't need a thing if you're looking at my... I'ma do my thing while you're playing with you.

Right. I'm right. I'm right. Yeah, you're right. Megan's right. I remember it wrong though. I remember it being like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Good to know you've been singing a song wrong for 13 years. Do you know the worst thing was, even hearing it back and singing along to it, he still believes that he's right.

God, it pisses me off. Maybe it's one of those things, like, you know how they play those high-pitched noises that only young people can hear, and he can hear it at a different range than you. Like, he can hear the high-pitched pussycat doll who's like, and you hear the, Maybe it's just an age thing. It's an age thing. I'm just trying to find a peaceful solution to everybody.

What a thing to argue over. I know, and it started so funny and it ended so heated that we just had to leave it and carry on with the groceries. But I'd love to know, to maybe make myself feel a bit better, what's the stupidest thing you've had a serious argument about? I love what started it. Yeah. It ends up swearies and like quite heated

that you just have to let it go. Vaughn? Everything. You must have a couple of these. Anything ever? Like all of it. Where'd you put, like the weekend it was like, have you seen the marmalade? Because I have marmalade. Once a week. We always talk about our love for marmalade. Once a week. I treat myself to marmalade and it's always at the weekend, it was like, have you seen the marmalade? Because I have marmalade. Once a week. We always talk about our love for marmalade.

Once a week. I treat myself to marmalade and it's always at the weekend. With lots of peel. Lots of marmalade. It's a good marmalade. It's Rose's marmalade. Oh, yeah. It's a good marmalade.

That is a good one. Great preserves. They call them conserves. Now, that's a posh person's name for jam. Yeah. So once a week, I get my marmalade. Yeah. And I went down and I said,

where's the marmalade from the open fridge? Yeah. She put it in the cupboard. No, no, no. A cupboard is no place for a marmalade. It goes in the fridge.

It goes in the fridge. She's like, it's like jam. It goes in the cupboard. I'm like, what is this, the 1950s? We've got room.

We don't have to have half a stock beast in there to stop the flies from getting at it. We don't have to have half a stock beast in there to stop the flies from getting at it. We don't put marmalade in the... And that just kicked off. Oh, right.

Does it end up diverging into other things? Everything comes up. You can never listen to me. You can never be wrong. Yeah. This wouldn't have happened if you'd made the bed

last Tuesday. Well, I would have made the bed last Tuesday if someone hadn't forgotten about the recycling out eight weeks ago This is all because of that stupid haircut You got in 2007

You didn't I wish I hadn't said it I don't know, fangs aren't for everybody What have I done? Forget about the marmalade It can go wherever it likes I don't even mind if we call it marmalade full time now on I'll live in the cupboard I'm sleeping in can go wherever it likes. I don't even mind if we call it marmalade full time now on.

Marmalade. I'll live in the cupboard. I'm sleeping in the cupboard, aren't I? I am. With my sweet marmalade. Let's take your calls. 0800-DARLES-AT-HEM-9696.

What's the stupidest thing you had a serious argument about? Maybe it's still ongoing years later, months later, weeks later. Talking about the silly little things you've had an argument over

like the lyrics to a Pussycat Dolls song, which is really old. And you start screaming at each other in the Pack and Save car park. Yeah. It wasn't a high point in our marriage. We haven't actually gotten over it either. No one's won yet, even though I'm right. You're going to need to get a version of that song with the music stripped away so you can literally just hear the ha, ha, ha, ha.

But you also can't go out of your way to prove him wrong. Why not? Why not? That's just going to inflame the situation, isn't it? I need him to bow down and say, I'm sorry, I was wrong. Yeah, okay, fair call. It's too far gone now. This is what happens when you let them drive.

Yeah, they get carried away. I'm not fighting. Some text messages in. This happened to me just last night. We were watching a movie and it had both Jason Bateman and Jason Sudeikis in it. Well, it was a very heated discussion about which one was Bateman and which one is Sudeikis. There were swearies, raised voices, slammed doors, internet movie database took an absolute thrashing

before my partner finally conceded defeat and had to make me dessert. He made it very loudly and not very well. That's a stupid argument. That's literally solved in a second. With a Google search. Oh yeah, that's great pleasure to get that out and sort it. Also, who doesn't know they're Bateman's from their Sudeikis? True. Oh, yeah. That's a great pleasure to get that out and sort it.

Also, who doesn't know their Bateman's from their Sudeikis? True. All right, we'll take some calls. Kristen, what was your stupid little argument over? Okay, so I had been drinking like all day and then I was going out for dinner

with my friends at night. But when I went out for dinner with them, I was like too busy talking so I didn't eat that much. So then my partner picked me up and on the way home I was like, I want some mashies from KFC. And so we went to KFC and we were in the drive-thru and then I

was like, oh I want a three-piece quarter pack as well. And my partner was like, no. And I just felt like, I got mad. And I remember like turning and like looking up and just like not speaking and then I wouldn't eat my mashies. And I got in a fight with, not speaking. And then I wouldn't eat my mashies. And then we got home.

And I got in a fight with him about it. And then I sent him home. And then I even remember, like, listening to my phone and listening to, like, sad music when I was drinking. And then I woke up the next day and just felt like a complete fool. When you try your best to talk to me. Some Adele or something, yeah. Wow. When you try your best to talk to me When you wind your matches in a three-piece pad That doesn't rhyme.

Thanks, Nicole. Zara, what happened? Oh, it was a couple of years ago now, but I had been out for dinner with my then-partner and a bunch of friends, and we got home late before midnight, and I went to the bathroom and realized I had something huge and green caught in my teeth and I had eaten the food like hours and hours earlier and he never said a word all night.

That's his duty. He's on chive teeth duty. Always. 100%. I never actively patrol my wife's teeth when we were out he must have seen it though right he totally saw it

he totally saw it and he just I said why didn't you tell me and he thought he just he said it wasn't my problem

I didn't care oh right so he didn't see it it's not like it wasn't my problem because it was in your mouth he just didn't see it I don't know

wow okay and so was that the end of the relationship or not at that point but I don't think it. I don't know. Wow, okay. And so was that the end of the relationship or? Not at that point, but I don't think it took too much longer. It was the beginning of the end. It was. Zara, thanks for your call.

Patrice, what was your silly argument over? So my partner and I, we like to play a bit of Uno here and there, the card game. Oh, no. And we can get quite competitive. And we were both down to the wire. We both got the last cards in our hand. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, no, you didn't. And he's like, yes, I did. Anyway, so I ended up making him pick up the two cards anyway. And then I won. And then it just blew up.

He got mad. He went for a drive and then slept in the spare room and it was huge. It was serious, yeah. Like, people say I take it too far, but when Shada and I ever play a board game anymore, I record it on my phone. So there's evidence. This is the sort of thing I come up against all the time.

Lies. But his uno has got to be audible. Like, it's not your fault if he muttered it. It's got to be like, uno! Like, you know. And we're real competitive and we score and everything. So, yeah. So no more uno?

No, still uno, but still arguments. But he hasn't not said it since. I'm with Vaughn. I'd run an audio. Just have voice memos on. 100%. Yeah, so you can go back. Run a recording program.

Back up. All right. Thanks, you cool, Patrice. Some text messages. My husband ate the last seashell chocolate when I was pregnant, and I absolutely lost my mind. Yummy, guliani, whatever they're called. He hadn't had any from the whole pack.

Right. So he just wanted one, but it was the last one. Huge argument, threatened to leave him. He's never eaten the last of anything since. Oh, right. Wow, okay. My partner took the stuffing out of my sage and onion chicken and threw it out.

I watched and hurrah. Oh, if that's, I'm with them if it's one of those supermarket chickens. Yeah, I don't need the stuffing out of those either. They don't try. I don't know what that is. I think it's like the old bread they can't sell. It's crusty, it's yummy. You've never had Marlene's giblet bloody stuffing if you eat that and think it's all right.

Was he taking it out after it cooked or before? No, after. Well, they come cooked. It was all crusty and delicious. Nah, they're yuck. They're yuck. I've got my dad on the phone to solve that argument. All, they come cooked. It was all crusty and delicious. Nah, they're yuck. They're yuck. I've got my dad on the phone to solve that argument. All right.

Says Brooke. I'm calling my parents. We had a massive argument over where the All Blacks Adidas campaign in 2004 was filmed. She said Piha. I said Karakiri Beach. It was Karakiri Beach even after proving I was right. Oh, okay. I've noticed that like all the people messaging in are the proving I was right. Oh, okay. I've noticed that all the people messaging in are the ones who are right.

Oh, yeah. We're not hearing from anyone who was wrong. Not too many people want to come forward with that one. Somebody said, my partner and I have five years used the same toothbrush. We were in the car one day and I said to him I wanted to get my own toothbrush. He did not agree. It got heated, I slammed the car door, flipped them off, walked away. We didn't speak for the rest of the day That is disgusting

You should use Your own toothbrush And when she finally decides That she will branch out To toothbrushes It's too late then You've got everything Isn't it

What happens When they're sick Did they change One of them's got a cold I don't know The other one's definitely Getting it They say if you have a cold

You should chuck your toothbrush Away and get a new one. Somebody said my partner had a huge bust up over Nicole Kidman's actual hair colour. Red, strawberry blonde. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if they were arguing blonde versus ginger or she was ginger on purpose. I'm not sure. Somebody said I was watching my partner cut the potatoes.

I said, but aren't we mashing those? And he said, yeah. And I said, you're doing it all wrong. And that kicked it off. Oh, no. I was watching my partner do the dishes, and it just looked weird. And I said, why are you doing the dishes all weird? And he's like, what do you mean doing it weird?

I got to the bottom of it. There was no dishwash soap, so he's using hand soap. Oh, no. Wow. That kicked it. Oh, no. Wow. That kicked off. I was going to be like, if he's doing the dishes, just go with it. Yeah. But then you've got to teach him to do it properly.

But then there's also people that can't stack the dishwasher. Oh, my God. No, I don't do that on purpose because I'm like, oh, look at me. I'm awful at it. And then he does it. It's a great ploy. Just, you know, give them a rinse. Nothing's worse. You're leaving them alone and then they open it. It's a great ploy. Just, you know, give them a rinse.

Nothing's worse than you leaving them alone and then they open the dishwasher and they're like, oh, the dishwasher's not done a very good job washing these. No, it's terrible. God, we should get a new one. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. You just said, did I get your fact? I sent through a fact of the day last night on the email. Did you?

About why Play-Doh was invented. Did you? Is it better than your fact today? Well, my fact of the day was about something that we talked about last week. And you'll probably be pretty jazzed on it. Okay, we'll save the Play-Doh. Okay, I'll save the Play-Doh for tomorrow. Oh!

What? I think we've already done that. Have we? I didn't know if we had. Yeah, right. I feel like we may have. Well, can you just say it? Today's fact of the day.

Okay, well, the Play-Doh one was that Play-Doh was originally invented as a wallpaper cleaner. Yes, I think we did. Because then we talked about keyboard, the slobbies on the keyboard. And you could go, but also like it takes print off newsprint. The old Play-Doh used to do that. And it's the same sort of vibe. But that was really good, Fletch. I mean, you know, I try to help porn out every night.

You're trying. It's an interesting article. I might bookmark that to read later on Play-Doh. I try to help porn out every night. You're trying. There's an interesting article on, I might bookmark that to read later on, Plato. Today's fact of the day is there's a helicopter going to Mars. Remember how we talked about? Yes. Last week we were talking about how there's a rover on Mars.

Why isn't there a drone on Mars? And we thought probably the technology wasn't there when the Mars rover was sent. Because when did they send the Mars rover? A couple of years ago. No, it's been there for ages. Right. Because it takes eight months to get there, doesn't it? Not eight years. Earth departure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unmanned, it can get there in eight months, but a little bit like nine months. There would have been basic drones, but not like, not now, not to the... 1997. That's not right, is it? No, nine months. There would have been basic drones, but not like, not now, not to the... 1997? That's not right, is it? No, no, that's another one. Oh, has there been more than one? I think this one went in

2011, maybe. Okay, yeah. So it's been there for ages. Yeah, right. So, but drone technology's come such a long way. Yeah. I mean, like 10 years ago, there was never the threat of flying them in the way of a flight path of an incoming passenger jet. No. That's another thing. If you died

coming back from your weekend away, someone had droned up into the engine and the plane had crashed, we'd be like, what's going on? How did he die? That's not a plane back from your planet. So many things could have gone wrong. If you hadn't shown up for work this morning, how would we have known where to start looking?

Come on. Yeah. It's safety word stuff. You've got to think ahead for these sorts of things. You didn't actually need Find My Friends on. This is what I'm saying. He needs to turn on

his Find My Friends. No, this is why we don't have Find My Friends because Vaughn's too nosy. We'll be able to track you down. You can't even go away for a weekend away without old Vaughn Smith

sticking his nose in. Leave the country. I mean, if you just said you were going, I wouldn't even need to stick my nose in. When I smell a rat, I've got to catch that rat. So this little helicopter situation, it is going to be like a drone. It's going to land and get recharged from the rover that it's going up there with. Right. So it'll have like solar panels so the drone can go out, do flying,

land back on, charge up, go for another fly. And the idea of it is less, because to put proper mapping technology on there would make it super heavy. Yeah. So what the design is at the moment, by the way, this has had $23 million worth of funding. Right.

So they're really trying to get this happening. They've got to keep it as light as possible. Right. To get a good amount of flying out of funding. Right. So they're really trying to get this happening. They've got to keep it as light as possible. Right. To get a good amount of flying out of it. So it won't have much on it apart from a camera and being able to tell the rover where to go to next. Right. Like if it sees something and it's like, that doesn't add up. Head over here, mate. Right.

And then it'll come and land on it and then the rover will drive over there. Cool. It's going to be so good. God, I'm excited about this. We're going to get Google Maps satellite imagery of Mars. It's amazing. Yeah, it's good stuff. So today's, this is 2020 by the way, so hang in there.

It blows my mind, Megan, because you go down the car park here at work and you don't even get full 3G or 4G or 3G. You know? We're going to have a helicopter on Mars. Sort out the telephone reception in the basement. Or your Wi-Fi says it's on. Yeah.

But you're not getting anything. Or I've got to restart my Wi-Fi all the time, but we've got a helicopter on Mars. Yeah. Come and sort my lounge router out first, please. Well, we'd get more from the helicopter on Mars than we're getting from you, details wise. True, true.

Yeah, imagine if the Mars rover didn't tell its friends where it was going. It just wasn't on Mars and it had gone to Australia for the weekend and not, true. Yeah, imagine if the Mars rover didn't tell its friends where it was going. It just wasn't on Mars and it had gone to Australia for the weekend and not told anybody of its intended travel plans. And the helicopter's like,

I'm running out of batteries. Where's the rover? It's got no batteries to jump back on and get a charge. Poor little helicopter. So today's fact of the day is there is a helicopter

bound for Mars soon. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Someone's had a birth date. This is going to make you feel so old. So, Cole Sprouse, who we know as Jughead on Riverdale now, but years ago, he was and I've forgotten this, he was Ben,

Ross' son and friends. Cute little Ben. Ben grown up a bit, not baby Ben. No, not baby Ben. Like blonde-haired Cole Sprouse. Okay. So, because Cole Sprouse has just had a baby, he's now 26. It was the third of August. A birthday?

Did you say baby? Oh, did I say baby? Yeah. No, birthday, birthday. Birthday. So he's 26 years old now. So that means that Cole Sprouse, who played Ben, Ross' son, is now older than Jennifer Aniston was at the start

of Friends. I don't like this. Wow. Jennifer Aniston was 25. So little Ben is now 26. Now Courtney Cox is now older than Richard was

on the show. What's his name? Magnum P.I. I don't know. I just know's his name? Magnum P.I. In real life. I don't know. I just know him as Richard and Magnum P.I. What's it? Tom Selleck.

Tom Selleck. Yes. Yeah. So Courtney Cox is now older than Richard was on the show and he was like always the older man. And he was the older man.

Yeah. Oh my God. Blowing your mind. But it's mind blowing because Friends, even when it stopped, has just never stopped repeating. It's always been on.

So they've kind of stayed that same age, haven't they? Yeah, true. And it's kind of a little bit timeless. And do you remember at the end, do I need to say spoiler alert? No, I'm okay for you to not say spoiler alert on this one. So Ross and Rachel have a daughter, right? Yeah. Her name's Emma.

So baby at the end of Friends. Yeah. Emma is now 16 years old. Well, the twins that played Emma are 16. That's crazy. So it's been 16 years since the end of, well, yeah, the end of Friends. That's intense. See, if you'd said when did Friends end, I would have been like, I don't know, like eight years, 10 years ago?

Yeah, ten years. Yeah. Sixteen years. So I just thought... It just never feels it's left. With other... I just have a quick look while you're talking about other people who we grew up with on TV. Will Smith, the Fresh Prince of Balea, he is going to be 50 years old this month.

No! What? On the 25th of September, Will Smith is going to be 50. How old was he when he started Fresh Prince of Balear? Was he like 18, 19? He was born in 1968. And so he would have been 20, early 20s. Good Lord.

Early 20s when he started. Now it's like the Olsen twins. You know, they were like babies on. Oh, yeah. And they're like in their 30s. And married to like Sugar daddies Yeah I don't know if you remember

The Fresh Prince The little kid Right at the end His name was Nicky On the show Yeah And he was a bit of An afterthought

For Uncle Viv Yeah And Aunt Viv They had a late baby He's 30 years old now Oh no I don't like this game Topanga from

Boy Meets World This is my last one So I had a bit of a crush on Topanga, I'll straight up admit to you. That's a weird name. I like it. Okay. She's 37 years old now.

No, no more. I don't want to play this game anymore. I don't want to play this game anymore. Wow. Topanga. How old's Brandy? Remember when Brandy was on Moesha? Moesha.

No, you're getting to the edge of my, I'm too young for this. I was living in a very white part of New Zealand. Because she's 39 now. Wow. If you had a really big weekend and maybe you're still feeling the effects of it, I have some good news for you, especially if you drank beer. If you had a big weekend on the beer Zs, apparently, according

to research done in the American Journal of the Medical Sciences, beer is good for you. But not too much? Well, it doesn't actually mention moderation. I guess everything in moderation, but it says

it has more protein and B vitamins than wine. That's like comparing two evils. People always say like a red wine's good for you. It says it's very high in antioxidants and can reduce the occurrence of cardiovascular

disease. But at the same time it's really high in calories. And it can give you a beer gut, right? And then carrying weight around your stomach is bad. And you can't do exercise once you've had a beer. No. Well if you're exercising and then having beers

at the weekend, is that like a... Is that okay? Is that okay? This just seems to be another coffee, wine, chocolate, cocaine. Like one minute it's bad for you, next minute it's like crystal meth. It's like, is that good or bad for me? Just tell me the end result. One minute it'll make your teeth fall out,

next minute it's like think of all the things you could get done staying up that long. So, I don't know. Because we learnt that like two glasses of wine makes you live longer, right? Well, that's where we're at at the moment with that. And where were we at with coffee? Is that good or bad? It was like eight coffees a day were good for you at one stage. Oh, good lord.

That's too many. You can't win, can you? So instead of taking my vitamins, I need eight coffees, two wines, and how many beers? It doesn't say. Five. But then you might as well just have six because they come in a six pack. And then you're going to be really drunk so you might need some takeaways. True.

Where are we at with fried food? Because sometimes that's bad for you. Still bad. Always bad, I think. Always bad for you. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. It's a good life.

Just like the scientists have taken it upon themselves to justify their drinking. No, look, it's healthy. I love the reset. What's the when you get deep fried vegetables? Tempura. Where are we at with tempura? Because what if I get tempura battered fish and chippies?

No, it's still bad because it's deep fried. That's the bad part about it. No, that's the bad part about tempura veg is the deep fried part. Oh, okay. I thought they were all good. No. Okay. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan thought they were all good. No. Okay.