ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 06 2019

Episode Date: August 5, 2019

Innocent things that got you in trouble, how to tell if someone is into you and your rip off items.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thank you, Anya. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. If that just says to me, Anya, we need more flavours of chips. If we've plateaued with childhood obesity. You think we need to keep going, keep fattening them up? We're here, aren't we? We may as well be number one. What are we, number three? We're number one. Why aren't we number three? We're number three.

Still behind the US and Mexico? I believe so, yeah. Weak. Weak. Okay. More cream buns. More donuts. We want to get out of the top five, at least.

Get out of the top five. It'd be nice. It'd be nice. Yeah. Do we though? Yeah. Yeah, we do. Yeah. Do we though? Yeah. Yeah, we do. Yeah, but like Fletch said,

if you're up there, you might as well be number one. Yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, the US looking into some possibilities with some South Pacific missile bases.

Goodness. But they want to make them pretty discreet. Of course, you can't just have a big thing that says missile base. Yep. That'll be the first target.

Has to go underground, eh? Yep. Well, it does on the movies and all the spy shows. They open up a little hatch. And it shoots out. Well, they want to build those to the top six spots

in the South Pacific for a hidden missile base that's coming up. All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. All right, I've got three headlines, news headlines. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three only.

Headline one, polluters found 13 years later. Headline two, vacuum cleaner thief sucks at getaway. And headline three, stand-up paddleboard yoga claims victim. Oh, no. Yeah. That's terrible news. victim. Oh, no. Yeah. That's terrible news. Terrible news, Intern Anya. Yeah, for her.

Well, yeah, because you know famously, for those maybe that don't know, Intern Anya purchased a paddleboard and has used it... Two times. Where is it now? So, it's in Mum and Dad's garage and it is a shelf. So, technically, it's being used and dad's garage and it is a shelf. So technically it's being used every day.

It would be a good shelf. It's an excellent shelf. It takes up the whole length of the garage. And yeah, dad loves it. So are you going to move this into the new apartment? It is bigger than the entire apartment. That's a sad reflection on Auckland apartment living. It certainly is.

Jeez Louise, this is, I go God, I've cheated on the paddleboard yoga. Yeah. A woman's drowned. I know,

I said it, claimed victim. I just thought it was like a cool influencer and they did it and then everyone unfollowed them because it was terrible content. No,

someone actually died. You've got to be careful, Anya. It's probably a good thing that stand-up paddleboard is a shelf now. She was an experienced paddleboarder.

I know, you've got to be careful, aren't you? Lisa Margaritas. I don't have any way to get it to the beach. It's carrying, doesn't it? Oh, it's very heavy and I have little arms.

We're not a good combo. She doesn't live beachside. Yes, from the inner city apartment to the beach is a big hike now. She was struggling in a strong current under a bridge. Her paddleboard got stuck on a bridge piling. She fell in during the commotion. She was tethered to the board.

She was unable to free herself. Oh, my God. Yeah, horrible. I mean, I wasn't really going to mention the story. I didn't think you'd pick it. Well, I was probably going to make some pretty inappropriate jokes about it. So I thought always best to do some background research before really wading in on that. So I'm glad I avoided that.

I like the one where, yeah, 13 years later. Polluters have been found. Yes. It's actually quite a cute little story. Is it? A message in a bottle. Yes. It's actually quite a cute little story. Is it? A message in a bottle. Okay. So a kid's

put a message in a bottle. In a plastic. And it's been done for littering. In a plastic bottle. Yeah. Well no it's just that people are pointing out that like 13 years ago you could probably do this but now it's like that's polluting. Yeah. And we don't do that now. Yeah. With plastic bottles. Well anyway a family,

they were from Oklahoma. The note reads, we live in Norman, Oklahoma, and if you find this message, would you please let us know? Thank you very much. Alison, age 10, Dylan, age 7, and Alexis, aged 4. And it has their address in Oklahoma

and it says Jan Feb 2006 from Maui, Hawaii. What a lame message. They threw it in when they were on a family vacay in Hawaii. Well, they actually gave it to a family friend who was going to Hawaii. That's the lamest thing I've ever heard. Because that's when you said Ohio. Write a better note.

That doesn't have... No, it doesn't. It's in the middle of America, doesn't it? Let me just know if you get this. Cool. I know. Okay. Yeah, the lamest night ever.

Anyway, it was found. They tossed it in. A family friend tossed it in, and it made its way to the Sonoma Coast and into the Russian River at Jenner. So it travelled quite far. Where did it go in the Russian coast? Sonoma Coast

and into the Russian River at Jenna. I've got no idea where that is. Can you spell me that Sonoma Coast? S-O-N-O-M-A. S-O-N-O-M-A. Oh yeah, so that's in California. Right, so. Oh, okay. So it took seven years to get there.

Might have had to go through that. Isn't there a big pile of trash in between Hawaii and America? One of those. The floating island. No, that's a bit more south, isn't it? The plastic. The thing the size of Texas that you're talking about? Yeah. The floating trash.

No, I believe that's south of Hawaii. But that seems to be the dominant current up there because do you remember when there was the massive tsunami in Japan in 2011? Yep. And then they kind of mapped where everything that got sucked back out to sea was going and they said it'll kind of go straight across the California coast. British Columbia. Well, anyway, now...

Fascinating things, the ocean currents. The family, you'll remember them, were 4, 7 and 10. Well, one of them is married now. 4, 7 and ten. Well, one of them is married now. Four, seven, and ten. You hope it was the ten-year-old. Yeah, well, I mean, the other one's only 17. Because the other one's only 23. Yeah.

But, so married, you said it took ten years. Seven years. Seven years. Took seven years. Oh, okay. 17. That's fighting on to get married. Can you even legally get married at 17?

You said 2006. Yeah. It's 13 years ago. 13 years ago. Oh married at 17? You said 2006. Yeah. It was 13 years ago. 13 years ago. Not 10 years ago. But one was four. One of them was 10. Great maths here

on the show this morning. I'm really struggling with it. Alison was 10. Right, so Alison's married now. 13 years later. She's 23. Yes. Okay, I thought

someone got married at 17. She's rushed into that. Oh, don't judge your pants. You don't even know her. But yeah 17. She's rushed into that. Oh, don't judge your pants. You don't even know her. But yeah, she definitely has rushed into it. No, shut up. I wasn't even giving her three past 17.

I thought you were about to say I rushed into it. And how did that go? All right. Just like make sure that you've grown and turned into the person you're going to be. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. that you've grown and turned into the person you're going to be. There's been a joint study done between the University of Otago and the University of Auckland. They have looked into...

Auckland is moving to Otago and wearing puffer jackets. And being cold. And being like, this seemed like a good idea, but now I've been here for five years, I feel like my liver's failing. Sure. No. It's more to do with exercise versus transport and that kind of thing. Right.

They found out what the fittest city in the country, in the city in the, yeah, city in the country was. I was like, country in the city or city in the country? Very confused for a moment. City in the country. Country girl in the city in a country. Yeah. It's confusing. Do you want to have a guess? Couldn in the country. Country girl in the city in a country. Yeah. It's confusing.

Do you want to have a guess? Caught in the midnight train going anywhere. The fittest city in the country. Christ, yes. But this is actually like, but no fitness test. This is just what? Because you said it was a study about sort of like public transport and city planning and logistics. Well, it'd be a city with lots of bike cycle lanes.

So the city, they found that had the highest levels of physical activity for transport rather than just recreation. Right, so people that walk to work. I would say Wellington. Rather than go specifically for exercise. Wellington. Nailed it. Wellington has been labelled the fittest city.

Then Christchurch has come out on top when it comes to the highest number of annual cycle trips. See, Christchurch is a great city to cycle around because it's flat. Flat, so flat. You know, you could bike to work there and oh, minimal weather. And when one of those little roads is closed,

you just go around the signs and you go down it anyway. And you're on a bike. That's not encouraged, Bourne. But then in the city now, all those new cycle lanes, it's pretty cool. Yeah.

It's good for a lime too, Christchurch. Good for a lime. Dunedin has scored the best on light vehicle emissions and Tauranga, you get the award for the fewest

transport-related injuries. So like, fewest crashes, what else? Lots of old people who drive slow. And nobody bikes anywhere. They bike up and down the main part of the beach, but that's very friendly.

Yeah. Wellington's the fittest, just because it was constantly having to walk up hills. Yeah, it's very hilly. Push the bike up the hill. No wonder they're all fit. But they're not all fit. It's just the fittest.

Fittest, right. You might remember the, earlier in the show, we're still the third fattest nation when it comes to children entering primary school. Yeah. So, yeah, I think it's just

the best of a bad bunch more than like, hooray, Wellington, you've done it. But does that mean they are our skinniest city? Well, maybe. Yeah, maybe. That would be good to look into. Like, if they're the fittest, are they the skinniest?

Are they the leanest? I'm thinking you might be more New Plymouth because of the meth. Bourne? Because you don't want to eat, do you? Bourne, no. You wait for ages. I won't have this about my hometown You're from Morrinsville

We can still eat when we smoke meth Nothing will stop them from eating It's cool how so many fish and chip shops That all go out of business If everybody stopped eating From the ZM Think Tank This is the Top 6. Hello there. Today's Top

6. The Americans are looking at some possibilities for missile bases in the South Pacific. Why? Well, because China has them. This all ends with us dying. I'm pretty sure it does, yeah. Pretty sure we're all going to die.

So, it's a positive way to start Tuesday. The closer they are ends at us dying. I'm pretty sure it does, yeah. Pretty sure we're all going to die. It's a positive way to start Tuesday. The closer they are to us, the quicker it is. I don't know. But Australia says it doesn't want to host US missile sites. So I guess that's just up to us now. So the top six places for secret missile bases in New Zealand. Oh, goodness. Number six, the beehive.

Okay. Because it's big and it's round and it kind of looks like a missile base, doesn't it? Yeah. Like take the roof off. And I've never been in the middle of it. Yeah, what's in the middle? Maybe it is a...

Hollow? Maybe. Is it like a chocolate egg? Is it hollow? You could probably just have a missile base in there. Yeah. And then if you needed some way to like get it in without anybody noticing, you say it's earthquake reinforcing.

Great, great plan. That's a great plan. Number five on the list of the top six places in New Zealand for a secret missile base are the Sky Tower. Oh, yeah. Number five. It almost looks a bit like a missile. So the pop just pops off?

Pop the top off. Pops off. Yeah. Okay. And it just shoots up the middle off. Pops off. Yeah. Okay. And it just shoots up the middle. Yeah, right. And out. Okay.

Yeah. Great idea. That'll work. Yeah. Because I'm imagining that's just what a missile silo looks like when it's underground, except this one's above ground. Yeah. What about the elevator in the middle?

Oh, I have to get rid of that. Okay. Put some stairs around the outside. Yeah, right. I'm a man. Good to go Number four on the list of the top six places For a secret missile base in New Zealand

It's a draw And both are island volcanoes Rangitoto and White Island Both putting their hands up To have a missile base built on it Probably easier to do on White Island Because there's already lots of smoke and steam And you keep your construction sounds That far offshore, no one's going to notice.

But, you know, lots of people go over Rangitoto for a Sunday stroll. Yeah. Might be harder to pass off the missile pieces. Raise a few eyebrows. Yeah, definitely. Number three on the list of the top six places for a secret missile base in New Zealand. Underneath Ohakuni's big-ass carrot. Oh, okay.

That just goes over. Straight out from underneath. Yeah. Elevated, central location. And keep employment up in the central plateau outside of the ski season. So I'm just trying to think of some positives. Yeah. And just down the road is number two, Lake Taupo.

Right, it's a lovely big lake. You can have it in the middle of the lake or under that one-shot golf floating platform thing. Okay, yeah. Easy maintenance there. You could just pretend you're out there picking up the balls, but you're actually just making sure the missile's still dry. Yeah, okay. And number one on the list of the top six places for a secret missile base in the South Pacific,

specifically here in New Zealand, underneath the LMP bottle in Pairoa. Yep. Stick it right underneath there. That almost looks like a missile. In fact, I think that used to be pre its life as the L&P bottle. It used to be a rocket ship at a playground.

Brilliant. So, just going back to its previous life. Ready to go. A bit more serious this time. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. This is pretty awesome. Victoria's Secret. This happens only not even a year ago since they said they wouldn't have transgender models.

They have hired their first transgender model. So I just want to make sure I say it was the Chief Marketing Officer, Ed. He was defending the lack of transgender models in the fashion show, and he said to Vogue magazine, I don't think transgender models should be included in the event as the fashion show is a fantasy. And boy, did he hear about it.

And not even a year later, they have hired their first transgender model. Her name is Valentina Sampaio. She's 22 and she's Brazilian and very hot. Very, very hot. This is massive though. I mean, they're not doing the Victoria's Secret fashion show this year. They probably, I think it's been cancelled for good in fact.

Right. They're going to reinvent something. I'm sure they'll come back with a band. They'll still have models and stuff though, right? They're just not doing the catwalk with the big wings and everything. Yep. So they're still doing their Victoria's Secret pink campaign, which is how we know that she's been selected

because Valentina put up pictures from the shoot. And I don't know what has alerted people to her, maybe all these stories about it, but I was like, this is so cool. Like this is a new era for Victoria's Secret. It's awesome diversity. Clicked on the comments. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do cool. Like, this is a new era for Victoria's Secret. It's awesome diversity. Clicked on the comments. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

No, no, no, no. You know that these things aren't worth reading other people's opinions on. But I just, like, think, I hope Valentina doesn't read it because how awful is humanity? Yeah, but Valentina's probably dealt with that, those sorts of comments in person for a while as well.

But then, okay okay maybe you should read the comments because then it will give you an insight into what like people like Valentina put up with on a daily it's terrible it's terrible. Yeah and then like I saw one of the comments because I didn't go too far into the comments but this woman was like

disgusting, ugly, freak of nature and I clicked on her profile I was like hmm because it's just coming across like disgusting, ugly freak of nature. And I clicked on her profile. I was like, hmm. Because it's just coming across like sow biscuits is what the story is there, Denise. Oh, shut up, Denise. Yeah. Yeah, good one, Denise.

Okay, mate. You go back to your Portmore or your bloody Port Royal 50 bag and roll yourself another diary, love. It's very easy to throw stones, isn't it? Especially when people don't have a profile picture. It's their cat or something. Yeah, exactly. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Today, you could be getting your hands on one of 50,000 free cheeseburgers at McDonald's. Not just anywhere that has cheeseburgers. You can't just walk into anywhere that sells a burger with cheese in it and be like, so I hear there's 50,000 of these going. This is McDonald's. Now you're going to need the app to do it. So let me pull back the curtain and it's like 50,000.

We love you guys. Great, loyal customers. And it's true, you are loyal customers because otherwise there wouldn't be so many and they wouldn't be doing so well. But you have to have the app to get it. So apparently 600,000 New Zealanders have already downloaded the app, the McDonald's app. So these burgers aren't going to last long.

So this is to say if you don't have the app, get the app to get a free burger. So they're buying the ability to notify you at any given moment about a, I was going to get a free burger. So they're buying the ability to notify you at any given moment about a, I was going to say a McFlurry special, but you wouldn't chance that, would you? Because the machine would be broken. Yeah. Or if it wasn't at the start of the day, it definitely would be halfway through.

Because I don't have the app, but I'm assuming, I think you can pre-order. So when you arrive, you're... It's done. It's done, which is, I guess, handy. Yeah. What, so you got your credit card details in there? I don't know. I've never done a lot.

I just use the touchscreen if I ever go. Yeah, that's fun. It's fine. Yeah, it is fun. Why is it fun? I don't know. It's ridiculous why it's fun. You have touchscreens, like, everywhere.

But it's like, anywhere with a touchscreen. Subway was playing the same game for a while. I don't know. At Subway? They still are. Surely. I've never. They wouldn't have got rid of the.

You go in and you're like. Touchscreens? Yeah. What? At Subway I went to and you could add and it would be like jalapenos and you'd be like more, more, more, more, more. But just, you're there. Just tell them.

No, but it's if you don't, if there's a line and you don't want to talk to them. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, right. It was quite good just being able to, because you know, you'd feel embarrassed

about standing behind the glass wall at Subway and being like, more, more, more. Less lettuce, don't you? You're really filling up with lettuce, champ. Back off the lettuce,

up the jalapenos and red onions. No, I'm not doing anything for you because you just belittled me by calling me champ. Champ. But then on the machine, for you because you just belittled me by calling me champ. Champ. But then on the machine, the machine doesn't feel belittled. So you can just be like,

more, more, more, more, more. No, but I feel like when you're standing over them, there's extra pressure to put more meat in. Meat? Or whatever. The meat's in predetermined measurements. Yeah, they ask if you want extra meat. They only get to free ball it on the salad ingredients.

That's where it's at. The lame ingredients. Yeah, that's where it's on the eye. So that's where you've got to really make the most out of the ones that actually have taste, like the jalapenos and the pickles. Right, so this deal today for the free chat, which aren't going to last long, let's be honest. So how much is a cheeseburger?

$1.50? $2? Like, you're going through a lot to get a free $2 burger. Yeah, but it's a free burger. It's a free cheeseburger. You work in radio. You know what people will do for free stuff. Yes.

So 9 o'clock, what do we reckon? Five past nine, they'll be like, it's done? Are they opening at nine? Well, apparently. I'm going to choose that for 9 o'clock. It'll be available for customers at all participating restaurants. It'll take five minutes. How will they know? Also, they've got to 9 o'clock it'll be available for customers at all participating restaurants. It'll take five minutes. But how will they know?

Also, they've got to have one hang of it. Also, on the app, I guess it would just keep them live updated on how many people have redeemed the voucher. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say so. Or would you have to go in at 9? Or would you just have to have the app and log on at 9 to get it? You know what I mean?

So you can download the voucher until all the apps are on. You'd need to be there and have the app. Both. You reckon. Not one or the other. God, and there's a line and then, yeah. You're out. People will just want, I bet if I said right now,

I had $800 and didn't even have this dirty spoon, somebody would want it. No one's calling. Nobody's calling for your dirty spoon. I know, but they think I'm joking but I'm not if you want this

dirty teaspoon I'm not washing it I just put it in my mouth nobody wants a dirty teaspoon somebody I can guarantee in the next 20 seconds will start calling

for a start the timer I'll start the timer on my phone and I'm going to start it now piss bye bye 5 to 7 don't call somebody will want

somebody will want a dirty spoon no they won't they will okay yeah so everyone's calling who have we got want a dirty spoon. No, they won't. They will. Okay, so everyone's calling. Who have we got for the dirty spoon, Caitlin? Who wants the dirty spoon? Why does somebody want a dirty spoon?

I mean, okay, you're making a point. All the phone lines are full for a dirty spoon. People will line up for a cheeseburger. Are you actually going to give away that? Clay, g'day, man. How are you? Not too bad. Congratulations, a dirty spoon. How dare you actually going to give away this? Clay, g'day, man. How are you? Not too bad. Congratulations.

A dirty spoon. How dare you humour Vaughn this morning? He's not the only one. Look at everybody else. He just put that in his mouth. Everybody just hung up there. So disappointed they didn't get the dirty spoon. Clay, wait.

Then we're going to pop this dirty spoon in an envelope and we'll get it right out to you. Champion. Appreciate it, Vaughn. Please wash it. Please wash it. Yeah, I'm not washing it. I licked it, but I'm not washing it.

It is a dirty spoon. Dirty spoon for Clay. Well, free cheeseburgers from nine o'clock. I reckon it won't last more than five minutes. No. I'll take it back

a few years. Okay. Two New Year's is this ago? I was in Rotorua for New Year's staying at a friend's house. Okay. Two New Year's-es-es ago, I was in Rotorua for New Year's staying at a friend's house. Okay. Beautiful there in Nongataha, which is around from Rotorua Township, beside the lake. Lovely.

However, I will say, unseasonably cold for New Year's. Okay. And also, while it was cold, the mosquitoes were still biting. Now, I had not pre-planned in taking any long pants. Because this is what I do when I don't want to go out. I refuse to take long pants. What? So Sade's like, we're going to go to a nice restaurant.

I'm like, can't, don't have any long pants. You are such a jerk. No can do. It's a great plan though. No can do, sweetheart. Absolutely no long pants. You are such a jerk. No can do. No can do, sweetheart. Absolutely no long pants. I'm not going to take any pants just in case my lovely wife would like to go out for dinner. I'm like, oh no. Done.

So I didn't take any long pants at all. As previously mentioned, unseasonably cold but the mosquitoes were still biting. So you can see my quandary in my shorts. I was getting eaten alive and I was a little bit cold. So down to the Nongitaha Queen save I went. Okay. To buy a cheap pair of track pants.

Okay. Well, I just thought I'll buy a cheap pair of pants, but then I got there and the cheapest pants they had on offer were track pants. Okay. Now, I don't know if you know this, but the Nongitaha region, huge fan of NFL team, the Oakland Raiders. Oh, okay.

You'll be familiar with the logo. It looks like the Canberra Raiders, but it's predominantly black. Is it someone with the horns?

Yeah, it's like the Viking Raiders. Yeah, right. Horn, Oakland. They're soon to become the Las Vegas Raiders. I didn't know. They've been purchased

by Las Vegas. They're going to be moving there. Well, this is what brought this up. Okay. The other night at dinner, my friend Mark, who's all into American sports, was explaining to me they're about to become the Las Vegas. And I said, well, my track pants that I bought

at the Nongataha coin safe will become collector items. And he said to me, it's interesting enough, all the rip-off stuff doesn't have Oakland written on it. It just says Raiders. So then they can be like, what do you mean? If they ever get hit up about Oakland Raiders, they can be like, no, this is just the Raiders Raiders. This is just Raiders celebrating Raiders. That looks exactly

like your Raiders. But without the Oakland. And he said they don't have Oakland written on them. And I said, I'm sure might have Oakland written on them. And he said, you'll need to check. So then when I got home, it was my first point of call. I dug out these pair of track bands that I paid $10 for and haven't thrown out since. Yeah.

Which I should have. They're a little short in the leg. And I found out mine does not say Oakland Raiders. It says Dakland Raiders. That's very clever. Yeah, but the D looks like an O. The O at the front is actually a D. And I'd never known.

I always just said it said Oakland Raiders, but it says Dakland Raiders, which is a double whammy because I've avoided copyright there, but also celebrating Nongataha's love for Dak, which is what we called marijuana in the 1990s. So all in all, I was most impressed at the fact that it's a nod to the weed culture but it's also a skippity dodge from the copyright infringement. Have you ever worn these in public?

Wouldn't it say doke? No, D-A-K. Oak, O-A-K. D-A-K. Oh, right, okay. It's not a D on front of the oak. It's the O is a D. I was like, how's this working?

Yeah, the D looks slightly rounded, does it? We've covered this. I've looked at them for ages and I've never noticed a D because your brain is familiar with something, so it just assumes. Makes it what it wants. Yeah, yeah. So on closer inspection, it's the Dackland Raiders.

Well, what did you expect? You paid $10. I don't know. I didn't expect them to be real, but he said the rip-off ones never have Oakland written on them. And I was like, well, mine do, but they didn't. They had Dackland. Have you worn these in public? No.

Oh, thank God. No, they were around the pant. They were around their house pant. Thank God. Yeah. Even still, that's embarrassing. Like, you can do better than that. I can't. Like, you could do better than that. I can't.

Like, you could go out and splash out on some pants. I don't know, just get Kmart ones. I don't have a track pants body. Don't get Declan Raiders ones. I won't be shamed and I don't want to mention it again. I don't have a track pants body. Let's move on. I don't have a body made for track pants.

What does that mean? What is a body made for track pants? I'm hefty in the rear and I'm skinny in the calf. It's not a body that works well with track pants. You're actually right. That would look weird on you. It's because I pack out the top and I don't pack out the bottom. And then they're all floppy.

Yes, I don't want it talked about again. And I can't wear a cuff. I can't wear a cuffed track pant, which will all the rage. Yeah. Because it just really highlights the fact. So you need like a bootleg track pant that's not cuffed. Yeah, but those look silly.

Trust me, I've looked into it. That's the last time I ever would have mentioned. But my Dakland Raiders track pants are a great example of how what I want to talk about this morning like what was the giveaway that it was a rip off? Yeah, okay. What was the was the giveaway that it was a rip-off?

Yeah, okay. What was the dead giveaway? Maybe it was a word missing, a letter missing, a complete misspelling of words. It's not like you forked out 100 bucks for these and you're overly surprised, but some people actually do spend some serious money thinking it's something real and it's not and that's hilarious.

Maybe you thought you were supporting the Oakland Raiders but you were supporting the Dakland Raiders. Yeah. And it's not and that's hilarious. Maybe you thought you were supporting the Oakland Raiders but you were supporting the Dakland Raiders. Yeah. There are really quite expensive rip-offs but they're supposed to be really good so no one can tell. But then if you've got a keen eye you can. Yeah.

We're talking, you know, like their rip-off, they're not quite as good a quality but they'll still say like Gucci rather than hoochie or gutchie. So I love going out with Megan. She's like, that's fake. Oh, you make me sound like a bitch. No, it's just a wee. It's a fun wee game we play.

But see, you say, you always say this to me and I'm like, how do you know? Like very few people know, so it's like, who cares if you can get away with it? And I would never call someone out on it. And who's the bigger fool? Someone paying $20 for a handbag or someone paying, like, $1,000 for a handbag? Yeah, Megan.

Well, yeah. Exactly. But at least I know. But I know. Yeah, cool. That cost you $980 for you to know the difference there. Well, give us a call. 0800-DARCITYM-9696.

When was it a dead giveaway that it wasn't real? There's some great texts already. We're talking about when you had a fake, but it was really obviously a fake. Like my Dackland Raiders track pants. Now, I knew that they were a fake, but I never noticed that it actually was spelt Dakland. Instead of Oakland.

Instead of Oakland Raiders. Yeah. So we'd love to know when you didn't know it was a fake. Clea, what did you buy? Well, it wasn't me, honestly. It wasn't me. It was a friend of mine came home. We were on a shopping trip in Sydney,

and she came back with two t-shirts. One was like a beige colour, one was white and she was just gloating about this bargain, amazing bargain that she got. She put one on for going out that night and we just said, oh, you've got

to take a look in the mirror, love. It says Gavin Klein. So not Calvin Klein, Gavin Klein. Yeah, Gavin, that's the word. His brother. Sorry, old Gavin. No, you're right, that's a name that hasn't had much of a shot since the 80s and early 90s, Gavin.

Exactly, yeah, but that's what they'd gone for as she, you know. But seeing it written down, you probably wouldn't, if you were just. Your mind just, when it's in the same font, your mind just like goes with it. Yeah, it was, yeah, it was done exactly the same font and the letters were spread out. So yeah, it did. Right. It looked pretty convincing. How much did she pay for these Gavin Klein t-shirts?

Oh, I think she paid about 40 bucks a piece. 40 bucks? Yeah, I was going to say cheap for Calvin, but it's expensive for Gavin. Hey, thanks. You called Claire. Gina, what did you buy that was fake? Hey, I bought a Chanel bag in San Francisco in Chinatown. Oh, how?

Yep, took me two or three weeks to realise that one of my friends pointed out that Chanel on the back of it was spelled C-H-A-M-N-E-L. Channel. Channel. Channel, you've got a channel bag. I had a vintage channel bag. Oh my God, it was vintage, it wasn't even new. No, not even new. How big was the channel?

It'd probably be the size that you could fit a decent-sized iPad in. But the writing, was it easy for people to see that it said channel? Only if it was worn on the outside. So only one, it said Chanel all over, but only one of them said channel. That's correct. Oh, you're all right, mate. Interesting, yeah, I just find that one. Find that one.

Brilliant. Thanks. You called Jenna some text messages. Our local store sells a Gucci perfume, except it's spelt Gooch as in G-O-O-C-H-Y. Gucci. Oh, my gosh. So it probably smells a little Gucci.

I bet it does. Yeah, a bit musky, that. Yeah. A little bit damp. Sweaty. Yeah. A little bit sweaty. 11-year-old me bought some Yu-Gi-Oh cards that I thought were legit, took them to school, was showing off about my Yu-Gi-Oh cards, was quickly knocked down a peg

when someone held up the hologram and it said I'm Yu-Gi-On, not Yu-Gi-Oh. That's heartbreaking. I purchased a pair of Nike online, far cheaper than Nike should be. They arrived and looked like Air Max sneakers until the label on the tongue said, Nipey.

The best part was my delinquent teenage nephew stole them and sold them to somebody for money. And then karma got him good when it was discovered that they were Nipes, not Nikes, and he came home with a black eye and had to explain the entire situation to us. So it was like a lesson learned for him. Yeah, naughty.

Yeah, people said different sunglasses. Someone bought a pair of Okies. Someone bought a pair of Oatleys. Raybons, Raybands, but with a D on the end, also a popular one of spelling mistakes. Somebody bought a banner from a dollar store for my baby shower last year and it spelt, Yetzaboy.

That's not even copyright, is it? No, they just were out of eyes, so they just went with a Y. Yetzaboy. I sure hope this pre-recorded laughing isn't after something inappropriate to laugh at, but I just want to take a moment to say thanks to Spark for sponsoring the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. You can grab Spark's $29 prepaid rollover packs

and get stacks of extra value. Back to the podcast. I've just been reading a Vice article about a $100,000 unclaimed prize, and it's gone unclaimed for 39 years. The lotto ticket. Established in 1980 by the Australian Skeptic

Society. If you can prove that you've got magic powers, supernatural powers. No, read. Supernatural powers, they'll give you $100,000. Don't be offensive to a certain community because you don't understand. Vaughn. No. If you can prove that you're psychic or you have supernatural powers, then the money's sitting there. They'll pay you $100,000.

Dollars. $100,000. Dollars. Right. So Tim is the guy that kind of is looking after it. Tom. Tim-o. Timmy.

Timsy. Timzy. Tim sounds like a real fun guy to be around. Tim-tam. Hey, Tim deals in facts, Megan. Timzy. Tim sounds like a real fun guy to be around. Tim Tam. Hey, Tim deals in facts, Megan. So he gets emails every week from people who have some sort of paranormal or psychic ability and are interested in the cash. And he said 90% of them drop out when I tell them they'll have to undergo a test and generally tell them what the test will entail.

Yeah, but what is the test? It's like you sitting in the mirror and saying, can you tell me the lotto numbers? That's not something that they deal with. Oh no, it's more, tell me what my dead mum's saying to me. Because that's much more believable, isn't it? It's different tests for different claims. They've investigated 200

claims, more seriously he said, but none of them have got past the first stage of testing. Right. So, for example, he said, but none of them have got past the first stage of testing. Right. So, for example, he said... How do you know that these aren't just money-hungry people that are trying it on? If I was legit, I wouldn't want to go to someone

like Tim because he sounds like a real piece of work. He sounds like a real piece of work. He sounds like he'd be best mates with you two. He's going to give you $100,000 if you approve. Show that you can do what you say you can do. Okay. So palmists

for example, they're the people that read palms and can tell you about your future and stuff from your palms. They show them heaps and heaps of photos of palms. Countless prints. And they know that it'll have a number down the bottom. That number, they'll have a profile on the person that they took the photo of the palm from. And they'll say, okay, tell number down the bottom. What that number, they'll have a profile on the person that they took the photo

of the palm from. Okay. And they'll say, okay, tell us about the person. And they said, oh, they've had problems. And he's like, what sort of problems?

Specifically, I know what problems they've had. We've all got problems. So they then can't identify the problems. So they don't get the cash. He said the most interesting one

is a guy said he had powers. Yeah. Psychic powers. And he could create, he could move the surface of the sun. His powers were connected to the sun. And they said, well, create a sunspot. Yeah. And he's like, well, no, it takes a while to do.

Of course it does. So you just wait and I'll make a sunspot. And they said, well, sunspots appear on the sun. Like if we waited a thousand years, there's a high chance that we, your point, will have a sunspot anyway. And he was like, nah, that'll be me making it. So they said you couldn't, he couldn't prove that he could do it as much as they could prove that he couldn't. Just by waiting there. One of the diviners though, this is a weird one because this happened to me.

Oh, so when you've had an experience it's legit. No, no, no. I'm not saying it's legit, Megan. I'm not saying it was interesting to witness. When you've had an experience where you believe

what was going on in front of you. No, I didn't believe what was going on in front of me. It's real, but when someone else is having an experience I don't have a scientific background to delve into why it doesn't work.

You don't have a scientific background to say whether it does or doesn't work. Scientists do have backgrounds. They study for years to disprove this sort of nonsense. But when you've seen something happen like that in front of you, you're like, wow, I can't explain it.

But they couldn't. Just let it be, man. No, Megan, that's not how the world works. You don't just sit back and, well, I don't know, so it must be magic. No, you sit on your high horse and you shit on things

that you don't understand. 100% yes,. No, you sit on your high horse and you shit on things that you don't understand. 100% yes, Megan. It's called a scientific high horse. It's got scientific backing. Who are they hurting? Just leave them be. They're hurting people when they take their money off them and give them false hope that Nana's on the other side

telling them that the rhododendrons are going to flower this year. They don't give people false hope. They do. They're like, oh, I know you're missing them, but they're still here. They're not. Come back next week for another, oh, I know you're missing them, but they're still here. And they're not. But come back next week for another $180 and I'll tell you some other junk that applies to all old people, like pikelets. Old people do love pikelets. They do love pikelets.

Why didn't they go all the way and make pancakes? Too much for them. I don't know. I never really ever made pike. I never ever saw her make pancakes. Megan, you've pissed Megan off now. Why? Megan, if they could do what they say they do,

they'd have $100,000. So what's your issue with that? No, I don't know what qualifies Tim to do this. And also, I'm just not sure if I was actually in that field, whether I would go and bother myself with someone like Tim. Tim is just an arsehole skeptic. No, he's not. Because he'd be found out.

He's not just saying that's not right. When someone comes in with a claim, he gets experts in the field to come in and judge them as well. He's not just judging it all himself. Yeah, okay. And for all the people telling me to shut up on the text machine, I've never paid for a psychic, and I'm not saying that that's something I believe in.

I'm just saying when someone believes in something, you don't have to shit all on it because you don't understand it. Just leave it. No, but we do understand that it's not real. And you know a lot of people do them for very little to no money. They do it for friends and they do tarot readings for friends. Oh, just do that. For no money. They do it for friends and they do tarot readings for friends. Oh, this is it. For no money.

So just chill, man. You shouldn't have to pay for it because it's not real anyway. Okay. You're going to make me get in a real grump. I'm so pissed off with you. Why?

Because you always shit on things that aren't what you're vibing. I don't vibe. The people, they're taking money off people. Farming, but I'm not going to shit all on your vibe. But farming's a real thing. You can't disprove farming.

No, I'm not trying to disprove it. I'm just saying it's not my bag, but I'm not just going to sit here and be like. But it's got size. I don't like how. It feeds people and stuff. Okay, yeah. No, it's completely different.

It's not completely different because I don't like the ethical reasons behind a lot of things that happen on the farm. I don't like the ethical reasons behind a lot of things that happen on the farm. I don't like the way that animals are treated but I'm not going to sit here and like have a go at people about it. Yeah but that's different too. Because it's not my vibe and I don't understand it. But that's

different to making things up and taking money from people for nothing. What I'm saying is you're trying to like shit on the whole practice of it when a lot of people do it for free. Fletch, don't just stare at Vaughan with a stupid grin on your face. You're involved in this too. Who does it for free?

Heaps of people. Do what for free? Readings. But they're not real, Megan. That's why they're doing them for free. They're not real. None of it's real. I just it's real. I just wish that you would go for one one day.

But there's no point because it's not real. No, but this is the thing. You don't understand or believe in anything, but you're never willing to try it. Because it's not real. We're going to take a time out before one of you two murders the other one. I'm just going to take a time out and reply to some of these text messages. It's not real, though. Okay.

Well, there's a $100,000 prize if you can prove it is. Megan, the latest. I'm not saying it's real. I'm not saying it's real, okay? I'm going to guess what's coming up. I'm going to guess what's coming up in the latest. Do you know what? You can probably guess if you listened to me just moments before I told you what I was about to talk about.

What was it? Off you go. I can't remember. Damn it, I haven't won the $100,000. Fletchvorner Megan, the podcast. ZM. There is, for the first time in a long, long time, sweeping reforms to the abortion law. There's going to be big changes.

This is going to parliament. And they're calling this a conscience vote, not a party vote. So you don't have to vote with your party. You can vote... Individually. Individually. Right. You can cross party lines.

Okay. So you don't just all have to go to the one side. When you do this, do you have to be... Public? Yes. Yes, I believe so. Okay. I believe so.

But we are certainly no experts. So joining us on the phone to talk about what possible changes are going before Parliament is Jackie Edmund from Family Planning. Good morning, Jackie. Good morning. So let's talk about what's changing and what are the positives of change. Well, the positives are that the current proposal is to take abortion out of the Crimes Act and to allow women to make the decision in partnership with their health practitioner up to 20 weeks. And after 20 weeks is going to be a statutory test.

So a statutory test is where there needs to be a doctor that certifies and approves the abortion. Now that would be at the moment you've got to get two doctors to agree that the pregnancy would cause physical or mental risk going forward so that would be extended out to 20 weeks is that right? That's right so every abortion currently needs two certifying consultants and there's quite a process whereas with this new proposal it's only one certification at 20 weeks. And I believe I read something about there being doctors who might be not anti-abortion, but think it should be followed through. So if you believe you've got a doctor that's got a predetermined opinion on it,

you'll be able to go around them or seek further advice. Is that right? Yeah. So they've put in a couple of interesting provisions. So there's a conscientious objectors, which are doctors who have a conscientious objection to abortion. And they currently just will not see the woman or that when the woman comes in, they won't refer them or deal with them. The proposal currently is that that practitioner

would then have to make sure that they give information or they direct the woman to a Ministry of Health site to know where they can get access to abortion. So it's a slight change. It's a definite improvement. It doesn't go all the way, but it's a big improvement. What would be, when you say it doesn't go all the way, what would be? Well, really, there's no reason why someone who has an objection

or conscientious objection can't refer a woman to a service. It makes no sense to us. It shouldn't be allowed that doctors can refuse to refer a woman. Right. And I read something about safe zones. This would be around clinics, would stop protesters or keep them out of sort of an area.

Is that right? Yeah. So what they've done is put in a clause around you can apply to have a safe zone, which is about 150 metres from around the clinic, that you can apply to do a safe zone, which is about 150 metres from around the clinic, that you can apply to do that to the Minister of Health. This is quite a nice pragmatic response because not all clinics have protesters. And there are some protesters that are quite quiet.

Some are quite vocal and quite disturbing. So this will be a really welcome addition. Right. This might seem a weird question. Why was it ever in a criminal act? Well, we're a nice English colony, so we followed the lines of the English abortion law, and it was seen in those days,

and many people still believe that, although that's clearly what I don't believe, is that it is a crime and that any pregnancy, no matter where it's at in terms of one or two days, it's a live person. So it was the killing of a life, which is why it was put into the Crimes Act. Right, okay. But we'll go into the Health Act because it's carried out by health practitioners. Yes, well, I think that belief is very much based on your own personal values

and often your religious beliefs. That's the fact that life begins on day one. Many other people, like myself, don't agree with that. So, and many women, we believe that women can make their own decisions based on their own values and beliefs as to what's right for them. They shouldn't have to be following someone else's values and beliefs as to what's right for them. They shouldn't have to be following someone else's values and beliefs. On that, is there anywhere in the world where this has been made more accessible? Has there been any data that proves that all of a sudden the amount of people getting abortions skyrockets?

Well, actually, it's to the contrary, really. So lots of the, some of the Scandinavian countries have had very liberal laws for a long time and they have lower rates of abortion than us. And most of the states in Australia have changed their laws fairly recently and there's been no increase in abortion. So it makes, there is no reason to believe that the rates will increase.

And in recent years, the rates have come down. So, you know, I mean, that's sort of some fallacy, really. that the rates will increase. And in recent years, the rates have come down. So, you know, I mean, that's sort of some fallacy, really. Is there something, just to finish up, is there one thing that really frustrates you with opposition to this? One thing that you think is really misunderstood when it comes to this abortion law that you often hear and often frustrates you?

Well, I just feel frustrated that I support the anti-abortion people's right to have their own opinions, but they don't have the same respect for me in terms of my opinion. Interesting. No, that's a very good point, Jackie. Thank you so much for talking to us this morning. Thanks, Jackie. Thank you so much for talking to us this morning. Thanks, Jackie.

So I had to explain yesterday when I was driving home around my parents and we were just having a bit of a chat and they said, we've been meaning to ask on the TV show you're doing, have you been paying attention last week? Somebody said something and we don't know what it means

which is always something you want to hear from your parents but the show's on at 7.30 so it's not it's a family it's not going to

be too racy no so they said this is when it happened it was when Matilda was out and then there

was the isn't she glowing that was like Matilda came out asking questions isn't she glowing because she was like the, you know, Matilda came out, asked some questions. Isn't she glowing? Because she's pregnant. Yeah.

And it was about the Bachelor, a bit of that. Definitely is. And she played us a clip of the Bachelor Vietnam. Now, it's quite a famous clip. It's where a girl gets chosen to get a rose, but she says, I can't accept this rose because I don't like you. I like one of the other bachelorettes on The Bachelor. That's right. So see if you can, this is the clip and see if you can see what's being

said as we come out of the clip. Now let's look at a famous moment from The Bachelor Vietnam. Straight to the motorboat. It's because I straight to the motorboat. Straight to the motorboat. So when she goes up to the bachelor contestant that she likes,

she's on that back, you know they make a little grandstand? She's on the back and she hugs her and her face goes right between the other contestant's breasts.

And we said on the show, I thought, well, it was not going to be on mic, but I said straight in for the motorboat. And then there was a bit of chat and then, yeah, she went straight in for the motorboats

that last bit that you can hear. Now, mum and dad said they rewound this multiple times to try to catch what the word was that was being said. So then I know what's being said because I remember it. And I thought, I've got a choice to just denial knowledge or explain this.

Yeah. So I said, oh, it was the word is motorboating. And they said, and I thought that would be them being like sufficient. Yeah. Got it. Got it. What's motorboating? That's what mum said.

And I was just like, oh, I actually quite like making my mum uncomfortable. I get this weird pleasure out of it. So I said, well, motorboating, mum, is where you put your head between somebody's breasts and go like a motorboat. And she was like, oh, Vaughan. That's what she said.

And Dad was like, huh, interesting that that's got a name. So then I'm like, has he seen it done before or partook? I'm not exactly sure, but I like to imagine he's got this little group of mates that he sends text messages to. So I like to imagine that some stage motorboating is going to come up in his little lads chat on his Samsung with really big text font for texting because it's quite hard to read when you don't have your reading glasses on you. But that, yeah, so now my parents know what motorboating is. So that's great. It's like reverse when you're a kid asking your parents what we're doing. Embarrassing things.

Yeah. Or at Christmas you can ask if they've Tartuk. Yeah. Tried. If Ian's ever asked. But then it worries me the answer I'm going to get. I like being in control of the awkwardness not being on the receiving end. Yeah.

Much like a motorboat. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. So I received a text from my dad last night. It's an awkward situation has gone down involving my... It could literally be anything at this stage. Dad's having a laugh because it doesn't involve him. So he's thrown everyone else under the bus.

Shall I tell you who it involves or shall I just tell you? Yeah, I think you should tell us who it involves. My brother, his partner, and my mum. Okay. So... Is your mum power played again? What do you mean again? What do you mean power played?

Doesn't she power plays with Mr. Toyboy, doesn't she? What's power play? She grabs his bots and stuff when you go down for Christmas. There was one time she grabbed his bots. No, and she came out in a G-string. Oh, yeah, but she forgets because she's a nudist. I was like, that's not appropriate. She's like, whoopsies.

See, to me, that's on purpose. She knows Mr. Toyboy's staying. No, she has no, you're so lucky she's been fully clothed every time. I know. The old saying is if you want to see what you're going to be married to in 25 years is you look at your mother-in-law. So he's had an up-close and personal look. She's

doing great though. She is. She's doing great. Good on her. But no, it's, well, I mean, it's kind of in the vein. So my message from my father came in at half past six yesterday evening. Yesterday evening? You can stand it tight. A message from my father came in at half past six yesterday evening. Yesterday evening?

You shouldn't stand at time. A message from my father. He said, what happens if your partner goes away for several days and your mum does your washing? So he's referring to mum doing Justin's washing. My brother. Oh, yeah. Okay, mum said it now.

My mum doing my brother's washing. Your brother's... Oh, I know. How old's your brother? I know. He's my age or older. And his partner goes away so mum comes and does the washing. He's older than you. Yeah.

Really? He's okay with... He has child. I know. Mum does so much for him, it's ridiculous. But that's another point. So she, partner was away. I mean, no one beats how your mum does your washing, right? Yeah, I know.

You go stay at your parents' room. It stands out that he'll be there forever. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how they do it. Magically. So my mum has gone over, done his washing because his partner's away and he's seemingly useless, obviously. Partner returns, sorts out the washing,

and finds a G-string that is not hers. Justin is in trouble. But it's your mum's G-string. So mum obviously took the washing away. She just ordered her house and take it back. And obviously didn't sort it properly. It's your mum wears G-strings. You got that out of what I just told you?

It's amazing. Mum wears lacy Gs. I told you, she's great. But there's a difference between like a G, you had lacy because I'm imagining Justin's partner is significantly younger than your mum. Unless he's got a taste for the older woman, which is something your family has.

But then, so she's wearing G-strings comparable to a much younger woman. Lacey G's. Yeah. I told you, mum's got it going on. Good on her. Oh, 100%. It's not about shaming my mum. No, no, no.

I'm not here to shame your mum. But, yeah, so he had even just saying that as an excuse though, being like, that's my mum's. Mummy did my washing when you were away because I don't know how to wear the machine. And then you have to explain that that really sexy pair of underwear is the mother-in-law's. Oh God, that's...

But then she'd know your mum. She'd know that that's possible. But then if your mum's got sexier undies than her, maybe that's a wake-up call she needed to really up her undies game. Yeah. So I actually haven't had an update on whether that's all been sorted out yet. But did she believe the... It's not an excuse, but did she...

I think it has taken a lot of explaining. But, I mean, I can give her a heads up and give her a call and be like, this is very feasible. This whole situation is very feasible. My brother gets his washing done by my mum. I mean, has your mum identified the g-string

and said that those are mine? Yes. Okay, good. That's definitely hers. I need that back. But it sounds so much like a lie

just trying to explain that. So this morning, I'd love to know when an innocent thing has got you in trouble with your partner. The explanation is true and you're completely innocent,

but it sounds like a lie and you got in trouble. I swear these are my mum's G-strings in the washing. Your mum wears a lacy G. Yes, she does. Yeah. How are they in our washing? Made a bit of lipstick because you know how old Auntie Maya, I had an Auntie Doreen, rest her soul.

She was lovely, but Christ, she put on some lipstick. She loved giving you a smack on the cheek. And I never got in trouble for it. But like if you went home with lipstick from somewhere, but it was some old girl that pulled it off. Yeah, or if you went to like a function or a party and somebody did come in for a hug and got a bit of lipstick on your collar. I always wipe it off if you get it on someone's cheek.

You give them a side kiss on the cheek. I always wipe it off if you get it on someone's cheek. You give them a side kiss on the cheek, I always wipe it off. Right. Because you don't want to get anyone in trouble. It was just a side peck on the cheek. But yeah, maybe you've been in that situation where it was something completely innocent. Yeah. And it got you in trouble. 0800-DALS-IT-M 9696.

What innocent thing got you in trouble with your partner? We want to know this morning when something innocent got you in trouble with your partner. My mum did my brother's washing and left her undies in there and my brother had to explain where those undies came from. Well, not just undies. Sexy G-Bangers. Because sexy G-Bangers don't age discriminate. No.

No. For everyone. Kendall, good morning. Kendall. Oh, good morning. Kendall. Oh, no. Hold on. What happened? What have you done? We'll go to Chris.

I don't know. Chris, good morning. Hey, how you doing? Good, good. So when did something innocent get you in trouble? My girlfriend once found the corner of a two-minute noodles packet and I had to dig through the rubbish to prove it wasn't a condom wrapper. What?

So, you know, when you rip off the corner of a two-minute noodles pack and then from there you just, that bit always comes off separate. So that got separated from the rest of the noodle pack. She thought that was the corner of a condom. Are you talking about the flavour inside, the silver packet? Yeah, yeah, the little silver packet that comes inside. Yeah, okay. Because I was like, here's the packet's plastic.

And it's also bright yellow. Nah, he's buying migraine condoms. They come in the same wrap as the outside bag. And so she was adamant, and then you found it in the bin, and you're like, here you go, it matches. Yeah, it was like the most degrading five minutes of my life. You're like, I didn't even have sex, I had bloody noodles.

I'm going to prove to you I had noodles. That's so brilliant. Ah, Kendall, what was something innocent that got you in trouble? A couple years ago, many years ago, actually I went skiing with a male workmate and got home and he texted me to say,

hey, your socks are in the back of my truck. And the boyfriend grabbed my pants, ripped them up to check my socks. And yes, of course, they were different than what I left in. And he just lost the plot. Why have you got different socks on? Why are your socks in the back of some guy's truck? Yeah. How dare I get my socks wet going skiing in snow?

But to cut a long story short, as much as I hate that expression, I'm actually married to the workmate 10 years later. Oh! So the socks in the back of the truck. You know what? I can't even, even friends these days still don't believe it. It was an innocent ski trip. Right, okay.

Oh, that's brilliant. Were there no signs there? I did find out on the ski trip he wasn't with the girlfriend I thought he was at the time. But truly, nothing happened on the ski trip. It was an innocent ski trip. Brilliant. Kendall, thanks for your call. My husband received a text, This is a text message in.

My husband received a text from a female colleague referring to me as his home wife and her as her work wife. Apparently this is a joke. Not to me. That took some explaining. Yeah. The way your work wife and stuff has to be like, well, someone you're not attracted,

like same sex or opposite sex, different sex you're attracted to, right? Yeah. It has to be like someone you're not attracted to. Same sex or opposite sex. Different sex you're attracted to, right? Yeah. It has to be. I refer to Fletch as my work wife. Oh, do you not find me attractive? No, babe, babe, I do. But I can't call Corn my work wife. No, that would be really weird. I would never refer to you as my work wife. Yuck.

Yuck. Caitlin can be my work wife. Do you want to be my work wife Do you want to be my work wife? Will you be my work wife? She said yes Oh no I'm just all bloody left out You can be my work mistress

Oh Her bit on the side Her work bit on the side I can see how this is going to be problematic My mate lost a bet at a party once And the part where he lost the bet involved we had to give him a hickey. Oh, no, that's irresponsible. That's not going to work.

He had to explain to his girlfriend who it was, and of course that's unbelievable. You lose a bet at a party and your male mates give you a hickey. You can't give someone who's got a partner a hickey. You can't do that. Who set this bet up? Yeah. This sounds like the work made at the snow.

This sounds like it is a bit of a, let's play truth or dare. Okay, dare. I dare you to let me give you a hickey. Why? Because it's funny, bro. Oh, hashtag no homo. I will. I'll give you a hickey.

Anywhere. Tell me where. No, I don't like you. No, what have you been weird about it for? Just let me give you a hickey. I found a gold earring in our bed. My boyfriend claimed to know nothing about it. Well, it took a lot of explaining,

but after an admission from our flatmates who heard us arguing, it turns out their friends had slept in our bed while we were away for the weekend. It's good that they owned up to that. I know, because you could have just happily let that happen for a long time. I found a black cotton bag. Oh, no, a black cotton G-string in my partner's away bag for work. I can't blame Quiet.

It turned out the bag had been his ex's, and he'd taken the bag in the split, and the G-string had been lost under that bit of cardboard that lines the bottom of the bag. Oh, again, that's a very handy excuse, that one, isn't it? That's true. That's hard to believe. You'd let them away with it, but it's definitely a strike one. Yeah.

Staying in the back of your mind for later. You wouldn't bring that up again in further arguments, would you? Oh, heck no. No. Of course not. That'd be silly. Banking that for later. You wouldn't bring that up again in further arguments, would you? Oh, heck no. No. Of course not. Don't be silly. Banking that for later when you're losing an argument to throw in your partner's face.

That's not how relationships work, Fletch. Last two weekends at swim training, my tog top is too small and has been rubbing on my neck. The side that I turn up to breathe, the husband saw the rubbing and called out a hickey. Oh, I've had that from a wetsuit. So I put it back on and walked around the house pretending to swim and breathe

and recreated the rub mark. Yeah. So I proved my innocence. I love that. Fine, I'll get in the togs and I'll walk around pretending to swim. If it was Mythbusters, you'd have to be back in the water though because you're recreating it in a perfect situation.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Actually, I'm going to revisit it. I'm going to revisit it. Now, before 8 o'clock, if you're listening to the show. Pause, pause, pause. This isn't fair because you've come up with like an eloquent argument and I haven't like your time to come up with it. No, it's something I wish I'd said at the time.

Eloquent defense. I've answered this to some people who text messaged in. Before eight, we were talking about the skeptics society and if you could prove that you had magical powers or anything that falls under that umbrella.

Psychic abilities. They'd pay you $100,000 and 39 years it's gone, I think. And then it got heated. We had an argument. We were still friends, by the way. You asked my wife, I'm terrible in a heated argument.

I start panicking and yelling and and that's all I did, and I repeated the same thing over and over. Now, it came across like I want it banned. Right. And personally, I don't care. No, it came across like you weren't willing to accept anyone else's beliefs. Which I'm not if you come to my house with them, but you do what you want, you do what you want in your own personal time.

I didn't want it to come across like I don't want you to sit down with tarot card readers. Yeah. But you do what you want. I won't. Okay? Yeah. You do what you want.

I didn't want it to come across like I was like this is the new rule. Everything should be banned that I don't believe in. Not in my house. Can you hear the producers? Can you hear the producers screaming? What are you screaming about? You do whatever you want. When? Oh my god. Not you because you're my friend.

No, you've never said that. You're backtracking. I'm not backtracking. I don't believe in it. It's nonsense. It doesn't exist. No, but you rightly said what everyone else says is wrong. Only what you believe is right. Oh, 100%. Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm not. Megan, this is you. But they can do whatever they want. They can do whatever they want. After the text is received, I'm playing it calm. But not you, because I feel like I need to look after you. Playing it calm. I feel like we need to look after you, Caitlin.

Excuse me? You'll end up buying one of those machines in the mall. Don't belittle my friend. You know those machines in the mall and they rejuvenate? She doesn't need your help. Anyway. Okay, anyway. You do what you want. you want okay it's time for i don't think that helped they're probably not actually probably didn't help but you do what you want okay i'm not buying everything it's time for fact of the day day day, day. We went out for dinner and

we ate at an Asian cuisine. Oh, okay. Was it the place I suggested? No. Okay. No, no, no. That was really, really good. That was great. That was really good. But this was another place and on the menu was something

called Paddywhack. Okay. Patty or Paddy? Paddywhack. Okay. Patty or Paddy? Paddywhack. P-A-D-D-Y. Give a dog a bone. Knack, knack, Paddywhack. Give a dog a bone. Well, that's what I heard someone say yesterday that reminded me of the Paddywhack.

So on the menu it said Paddywhack. And out of curiosity, I was like, I'll have that. It was like $3. It was one of the skewers and you order heaps of skewers. I was like, I'll have that. It was like $3. It was one of the skewers, and you order heaps of skewers. I was like, I'll have that. I'll try that. So I got some paddywhack, and it came out, and they were like, here's the paddywhack.

And I was like, ugh. Okay. But I ordered it, so I had to eat it, because that's the old Smith rule. What was on your plate? It's a ligament, Megan. It's a very strong elastic ligament in the neck of sheep or cattle

which relieves, because you may have seen like, you know when a sheep or a cow are walking a cow's head looks really heavy. And you think if you stood like that the whole time, you'd get a very sore neck. Yeah. So the paddywhack is the ligament that relieves the animal of the weight of its head.

So it's very gristly. Like super gristly. I had like a dried one and it was super chewy and it wasn't what I would describe as delicious, but I'm glad I tried it. And now I can say that I ate one. So you're saying you weren't sure about something, but you tried it.

Because it's food, Megan. Now you can base an opinion on something because you've actually tried it. It's food, Megan. It's real. I can see it. I can taste it. I can eat it. Because it's food, Megan. You're not, now you can base an opinion on something because you've actually tried it. It's food, Megan. It's real. I can see it. I can taste it. I can eat it. You can still go to someone in real life. Its existence had been proved, Megan, by science. But you tried something and now you can base your opinion on that.

That I knew existed and was real. Yes, Megan. I did try something that was proven to be real. Well, you can go to a real life person, yes. Well, yeah, but it's all magical stuff. But this was non-magical. It was the strong elastic ligament in the midline of the neck of a sheep or a cattle. And now you can say you don't like it. That's true, but it existed.

So it was very easy to try. It was very easy to try because it existed. You've got Caitlin going. She's going to be recharging her crystals tonight. Yes. No, someone just texted in and said, thank you for showing people they can have different opinions and still be friends.

I think that is the bigger lesson to learn today. We can have different opinions and we can still be friends. We should be in charge of a country. We should be. We just need to learn how to have a proper argument and not yell. And apologies for that. So anyway, back to the penny wag, which is real. Which is true and proven to be real.

And it is high in protein, 78% for the gains. 10% fat, some fibre. And so what I wanted to tell you about this paddywhack, which wasn't to my taste, I'm sure some people enjoy it, mostly now sold as a dog treat. Okay. The knick-knack paddywhack. Give a dog a bone.

The man, this old man came rolling home. He's playing sheep bones as an instrument. The paddywhack was dried out and used as an instrument and you would play it on the sheep bones. Dink, dink. Knick-knack paddywhack. Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dinkack The old man would be playing It always shows him playing spoons

In the modern versions of the cartoon But he is playing In the traditional drawings A sheep bones And a paddywhack So today's fact of the day is that The song Nick-Nack Paddywhack Give a dog a bone

The old man is indeed playing sheep bones. Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! Some dating experts and psychologists have written a list of a few things. It's a way to tell if people are into you, if someone is into you. So if you go on a date, on a Tinder date or whatever, these are the kind of signs you should be looking for.

Yeah, better than when your mum's like, if he's taking the piss out of you, he likes you. Better than that kind of stuff. Right. They're kind of, in fact, kind of subconscious little details to look for when you're on a date. And it says someone,

so it doesn't say male or female. I think there's a few in here that maybe guys would do more, but I don't know. We can debate those as we go along. Okay. So the first one I thought maybe would be a guy thing,

but you can prove me wrong. They pull their sleeves up. So a psychologist. Oh, my God. I always have my sleeves up. Oh, my God. Do you like us? I like.

You're flirting. Stop flirting. A long sleeve. Why is the thought behind that exposing themselves? Rolling up your sleeves on a date is a subtle sign of showing interest, particularly among women. Oh, okay. We do.

Who's sleeves are? Oh, pulling the sleeves of a dress or a top to reveal the lower part of your arm is the softest and most vulnerable part of your skin. It's like an underbelly. It's like when the dog rolls over and lets you rub his belly. He really likes you. He feels safe with you.

Right. Yeah. That's often the nicest skin of the body too, isn't it? It's real soft. I remember having a square inch. It's deteriorated with my life. But I used to have it. This is weird.

But I had a square inch and I was like, I wish all of my skin on my entire body was that. It was like that. Soft. It was like soft and it didn't have a freckle and it had no hair. But now there's hairs and bloody freckles. I'm in absolute shambles. Where's my square inch gone?

You're one bit of nice skin. But this was before you could go on Facebook when you were doing poos, so like back in the day. And I was like, that's, you know, you'd have time to think about weird things. Like patterns and linoleum and stuff. But now it's like, it might have actually been about there. I mean, that could do with the moisturise. That could do with the moisturise.

It's not bad. It's nice. Thank you. Okay. Second of all, you talk about mundane things. So if someone likes you, they'll find any excuse to text you, talk to you, keep the conversation going. So if they're talking to you about mundane things,

then they're quite happy to be there, quite happy to keep the conversation going. So if they're talking to you about mundane things, then they're quite happy to be there, quite happy to keep the conversation up. They remember what you say. So if you're on a date and then they text you later referencing anything you've mentioned in passing. They like you. They like you because they're taking stock of what you're saying. They've listened. They've listened. That's how simple it is nowadays.

You just have to listen. You just have to listen. Texts often end with a question. Or to encourage further. I've often said if you get texts and that, it's just very one-sided. And if they're not offering any questions or anything at the end, it kind of seems like they don't really want the conversation to carry on.

Or just start putting question marks at the end of statements. That was great. And they'll be like, was it? They'll be like, oh my god, stop talking to me. You're trying to say it wasn't great? Yeah. They alter their body language to be closer to you. So like, whether they're like turning to face you,

their feet are pointing to you, whether they open up their body to you, or if they just scoot in closer, it's a sign they're into you. Sometimes if there's not enough chairs for everyone, Fletch will straddle me. Now, what is that? It's pretty confronting. That's pretty straightforward, I think.

Bray's into it. Yeah. Yeah, obviously. Good. If they try and impress you, if they take you somewhere swanky, somewhere that you think is quite like upmarket. Wood-fired pizza, for example.

Oh, yeah. Like, born on that date. And she just was not into it. Wood-fired pizza. Yeah, that's quite swanky. They would fire it. It's a lot of fire to cook it. If they don't turn on an oven,

they start a fire. Yeah. So if you make a point as well, lastly, if you make a point or if they make a point to organise another time to see you, I mean, that's pretty obvious, isn't it? If you're walking back

and they're being like, yeah, we'll catch up or I'll text you or something. If they make a point of trying to make another time to see you, then they're definitely into you. Those are something to think about. Especially if they've got their sleeves rolled up. Yes.

Yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Carly, disclosure talk on ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. We had to let that song really run out because we were arguing and Fletch couldn't put the buttons up. Would you just bloody stop, please, Vaughn?

Struggling to breathe. I'm not doing anything. It's Fletch now. Fletch is, it's Fletch now. Go, well, I recorded it. It's on my Instagram if you believe that Vaughn is doing nothing. I was laughing a lot. I'm struggling to breathe.

Okay. So Aaron Carter is the baby brother of Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys, if you don't know who he is. Aaron Carter had his own... In the 2000s? He did. Musical career. I really liked him.

And then did he get into a bit of trouble? Was he addicted to something, I feel? And he had a TV show, eh? Yeah. Yeah, okay. He's had his ups and downs, but now he is, if you go to the LA County Animal Care and Control. Do you want us to go there?

No, I don't know if it's that place. No, it's the Lancaster Animal Care Shelter. If you go to them on Instagram, you'll see that Aaron Carter is adopting dogs. Their latest was, check this out, Aaron Carter stopped by the care centre today, fell in love with our little meathead, Mighty. He is a bulldog, like a British bulldog, I think. Thank you for adopting Aaron. We're glad Mighty gets a new home and someone to look after him. And that is when they got a whole bunch of comments under this, not praising Aaron Carter, but claiming that he is flipping dogs. So he is adopting dogs from shelters. And so he takes them and then he sells them.

So he's not, as far as we know, he's not selling them for anything bad. He's just selling them for a huge profit. So it's not illegal what he's doing. It's not illegal, no. But it's just a little frowned upon. So they've said it's not a legal issue, it's a moral issue.

They're looking into it. But as far as they're concerned, if someone is taking the dog and they're going to look after it, what they then do with the dog, as long as it's always being looked after, they can't really do anything. But where has he...

But the money, they could be selling them, couldn't they? Well, I don't think so because it's like a shelter. They just want someone to have the dogs. Yeah, but he's profiting personally off what I'm guessing is very low cost. There might

be like an admin fee of adopting. Oh, for charity too. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's the thing, right? That's terrible. They're doing this for the goodness, from the goodness of their own heart, and he's there making money out of it. A time's tough. So he's denied any wrongdoing.

Right, but has he denied doing it? I don't know. He's just denied any wrongdoing. Yeah. So someone has said he has discussed with him selling the bulldog for $3,500. So you pick up a rescue dog and make $3,500. Not illegal.

No. What are you going to do about it? And I don't know how long he has the bulldog for, because then is the bulldog like your main new dad, like, you know, getting attached to him. And then I guess, bigger picture, the dog has a home. Yes, but morally that's

still pretty crazy. Fine line, eh?