ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 09 2018

Episode Date: August 8, 2018

Getting ripped off overseas, Don't Get Fletch Started and what diet didn't wok for you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. You're very chipper today, Megan. Am I?

She's high on painkillers. I do have some painkillers in the system. In fact, were you even allowed to drive this morning to work? Yes. You didn't see Megan's face then. Yes. She deserves a little painkiller though. She spent a lot of time in a West Auckland white cross yesterday and I've been to the same one and good God, it's really something.

I saw some things. She saw some things, heard some things, smelt some things. It's a real sensory experience. No, that girl didn't poo on the floor. She made it to the toilet. But that doesn't mean that the smell's not just there. She was going to. Yeah.

But she made it to the toilet. So you went, Aunty went down like a sack of spuds on the deck on Monday. Yeah. Was that Monday or Tuesday? I don't know. Tuesday. Because you were sore yesterday, so it must have been Tuesday. Tuesday, yeah.

And I've had a sore shoulder. So I went and had it checked out and had an x-ray and everything. You'll be pleased to know it's all good. But I've got some painkillers. Aunty's fine, just a bit bruised. Just a bit sprained. A bit sprained, yeah. So what did they, did you get an some painkillers. Auntie's fine, just a bit bruised. Just a bit sprained. So what did they, did you get an x-ray?

Yeah. Do you know what though? I spent hours there and then they didn't give me a form or anything and I went to the counter and I was like, do I have to pay you? They were like, no. I was like, good lord, okay, that makes the three hours I was here all worth it. I don't have to pay anything. It's ACC, isn't it? That's how it works.

Not even for an x-ray. No, because it became as part of an accident and that's what the A in ACC stands for. So good. This is why we live in New Zealand, not in America. Yeah.

Yeah. It makes it all worthwhile. Yeah. Right. So you've got good drugs. You're going to be fine. Yeah. Bit of physio.

Yeah. And Artie will be back to norms. That's good. I believe that's pronounced per-hizio. Per Bit of physio. Yeah. And Artie will be back to norms. That's good. I believe that's pronounced per-hizio. Per-hizio, yeah. I don't think it's physio. Per-hizio. Per-hizio.

You're thinking of a, um, a fika path. Right, okay. Very different. Hard to spell. Right. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. I have found three news headlines,

three interesting news stories. Vaughan and Megan, pick a headline. One only. That's how story time works. Headline one, police hunt suspect in brazen corn dog theft. Headline two, 12th century makeover. And headline three, cows help police capture

suspect. Cows have done a bit of cows kind of, there's been a bit of cow news, aggressive cow news lately. Right. Are the cows getting together? Well, they're here in Auckland. Someone was attacked by a rabid cow. Yeah. Claiming that the

cow tore tennis ball sized chunks from their shin. Ah! You can't. But then I will say, you don't tango with cows. They're a herd animal and, like, a little bit territorial, and if they're having babies or have had calves, they can get quite aggressive. Yeah, right.

So, yeah, don't think they're just cute little moomos with big doughy eyes. You can say that, though. You grew up on a farm. We're city slickers. To me, they're cute little moomos with big doughy eyes. They're going to get you. Okay. They're going to get you.

All right. So, you want to go for the cows? No. What was the other one again? A brazen corndog theft? And a 12th century makeover. Don't you like home... Yeah, what is it?

This 12th century makeover? Because that's crazy. That's very old. You do love renovations, don't you? I always get confused. The 12th century was the 1300s. Is that right? Or is the 12th century the 1100s?

So the nine... Yeah, because I get so confused as well. Because we live in the 21st century, but it's the 2000s. So the 21st part, so what did you say? 12th century would be the 1100s. I think this is the most ridiculous thing about history. Just call it the 11th century. Yeah.

All right, well, we go now to Spain's northwest region. And a 12th century sculpture is at the Santiago de Compostela or something. That's exactly how you say it. That's exactly how you say it. Obviously. So whereabouts was this? In northwest Spain. Okay.

Okay. Region of Spain. So there is a 12th century sculpture there. Now, there has been a brazen makeover, an act of vandalism, graffiti, and it looks like they could be fans of the band Kiss. Oh, no. Because they have... They've drawn the Peter Criss cat on somebody's face.

They have drawn, yeah, the Kiss cat face on the 12th century sculpture in blue paint. And then down below, written Kiss. What is that, his pocket? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Is that going to come off?

I don't know. Police have launched an appeal for information. They could be fined up to 150,000 euros. Oh, I would say so. I mean, yeah, that's a 12th century sculpture. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, at one of the world's most famous cathedrals as well. How did they do it?

When did they do it? That seems like it would have been under, because remember that time in Greece, we wanted to take a funny photo of a penis sculpture, and the woman was on us. I know. Yeah, and that's not just, that's not as quick as a photo. And we weren't even going to touch the penis.

We were just beside it for a laugh having a photo. And you can be like, taking it. Like, you're going to have to sit there and paint. So apparently the markings will have to be removed from the marble using lasers. That's how they remove the... Because yeah, I would imagine if it's that old, you wouldn't be able to just give it a scrub down or put on some

anti-graffiti stuff. Yeah, but apparently early hours of the morning, on Monday it happens. So they're analysing CCTV to see if they can find anything. Otherwise, at this stage, yeah, they're analysing CCTV to see if they can find anything. Otherwise, at this stage, yeah. They're out there somewhere.

A fan of the band Kiss. Don't do it to like historical things. We can't get those back, you know. Well, what should they do it to? Well, like new things. Like the motorway, just scrub that off. It's all good. Yeah, just put some more motorway down.

I don't know if it's because I'm getting old, but whenever I see like a nice bit of motorway or a nice bit of something and it's got graffiti on it, I'm just like, oh, that's – because maybe it's the OCD because I like it all perfect. Yeah. I'm like, yeah. I'm always just like, how did you get up there? I love street art.

I think street art's amazing. I love a bank seat, don't get me wrong, but just a scribble. And I'm always like, did you have safety gear? Like, what if you've fallen? You know, like hanging off the side of one of those over bridges. Yeah. Yeah, well, you're going to do yourself a mischief when you fall into traffic.

I know, you know what, I'll tell you, I told you so. I said, you shouldn't have been up there scribbling on things and now you've fallen in front of a bus. So that's the way the cookie crumbles, and that's the way your face is crumbled underneath that bus. Silly. F.M. Yesterday we heard that there was going to be a new attraction

in the Nevis Canyon. This is down by Queenstown. Already home to the Canyon Swing, the Never Swing, and the Bungee. Yeah. Is it the highest bungee? In New Zealand. In New Zealand, yeah. Did anyone else feel, just you two, did anyone else feel that little hurt that we weren't

part of the throng of New Zealand media that wasn't invited to this? Like everyone was there. I didn't want to be there because it's scary. When we went down, I only went out onto the platform and I was not happy. I was shaking at the knees. I felt a bit queasy. You have to go out on that wire thing on the little buggy.

Yeah. No, no, no, no. I hate that. I was not being invited. That was for the bungee, but this goes from the canyoning platform, doesn't it? It looks like it, yeah. From what I can see, it goes from the swing side of things.

This is the new attraction. We heard about it in the news yesterday that was opening. It is a catapult. It's called the Nevis Catapult. And it basically, you stand on the platform and you're clipped in. Like a Superman, like you're ready to kind of fly. Like a flying position. And a bungee cord goes further and further out along a cable

and obviously gets to the point where there's a fair bit of tension in it. And then they 3, 2, 1, release you. And it pong, like flings you out. But also you start falling down into the canyon at the same time. Did I read that it catapults you at 100 k's? You get to 100 kilometres an hour in 1.5 seconds and experience 3 G's of force. start falling down into the canyon at the same time. Did I read that it catapults you at 100 k's? You get to 100 kilometres an hour in 1.5 seconds and experience three G's of force. Wow.

And it's the world's biggest catapult. Do you know, though, I actually think this would be better than the bungee because there's a bit of force. It's not like, I don't like the free falling because you're like, okay, I'm plummeting to my death. And you literally, someone pulls the cord and you're off. Yeah.

And you shoot out like you're Superman. It would be like a roller coaster at the start. Yeah. But then you got to swing. I've done the other out towards Coronet Peak. There's a swing. What's that swing called? It's in a canyon as well.

And I actually really liked it compared to bungee jumping. I just thought it was like, because it's well out of your hands. You're in the harness. All of a sudden you're off the ground and you're like, oh, well, this is out of my control now. Right. But convincing your brain to jump off something. Yeah, yeah. It's always been what's tripped me up on bungee jumps.

So $255 if you're an adult. Jeez, okay. To do it. And $225 if you're a New Zealand student. Good Lord. Wow, okay. Yeah, so you're a New Zealand student. Good Lord. Wow, okay. Yeah, so you've got to catch the bus out there. It leaves from all the places around Queenstown

if it's a bit of you. And here we go. Minimum age, you've got to be 13 years old. Right. If you're 14 and under, you've got to have your parents sign you in. You can only weigh between 45 and 127 kgs. Thank God. I'm guessing if you're below 45, they just

pull and you're just gone. My worst nightmare is to be too heavy for something. Yeah, as long as I'm in the weight limit of being able to do things, extreme things, I'm happy. I remember when I went to go skydiving, they're like, you're right on the limit for a tandem. I was like, bitch, please.

Excuse me. Excuse me. A skinny tandem guy. A skinny instructor. I did. I had the smallest guy at the end of it when we landed, and I stood up, and he was dangling off me. I didn't notice until we were on the ground, but that really made me not feel safe about the whole thing.

I was in a line at Universal Studios, and they had a test seat for the ride in case you were too big, in case you waited in line for like an hour and got to the front, and they were like, oh seat for the ride. Oh, yeah. In case you were too big. In case you waited in line for like an hour and got to the front and they were like, oh, you can't fit. I saw this happen when I was at the theme parks at the Gold Coast recently. A woman lined up.

It wasn't really long lines because it was in school holidays. In Dream World. But no, this was at Movie World. Oh, Movie World. One of the roller coasters at Movie World and she lined up and got in and then in front of everybody,

they were like, bing. Oh, just a minute, everybody, just wait. Which is a horrible thing to hear on a rollercoaster. Yeah. Why? Why? And then this woman had to get out and walk away. And then afterwards, somebody said, oh, she had to get out

because she was too big for the seat and safety and everything. I was like, that's awful that they didn't have a test seat like you said way before the queue formed so you could test it and bail out at that stage. But yeah,

so if you want to be flung in the canyon and scream in one of the most beautiful places in the world, it's open and it's ready for you. Your cat Karen is an arsehole.

Don't hold back, Megan. Well, I won't. You call Leo googly-eyed. But you know that he's an arsehole. So you've got scratches on your arms today. Yes. But. It's a love-hate relationship.

Yeah. There is a way to tell if your cat actually likes you. And I think that Karen does. Even though it's a love-hate relationship. Yeah. There is a way to tell if your cat actually likes you, and I think that Karen does, even though it's a little bit aggressive. Okay. So a way to tell, there's actually a few ways to tell if they like you. So if they purr when they're in your presence,

that means they're feeling happy. That's pretty straightforward. Everyone knows that, right? But see, he can be purring while I'm patting him, but then he's still biting me and purring. It doesn't say anything about the biting and the nibbling and stuff. Maybe that's just like a fun thing he likes to do. They'll also chirrup at you.

Now, chirrup's got things. Yeah, is that what that is? It's the same noise they do when they can see a bird out the window. So, yeah, they chirp. And the more they chirp at you, the more you know they love you because it's like they're happy and it's a special type of meow. Right, okay. We'll always talk to each other.

We'll always be like... That's pretty cute. That means he likes you. If they want to be with you a lot of the time, that's a sign that they like you. That means like sleeping on your bed or like following you into the bathroom. If they follow you, always want to be close to you,

that's a good sign. Same if they get in. He does that. What about that cat you were house-sitting for, Caitlin, and every time you sat down on the toilet because for some weird reason you weren't shutting the door, it would sit on your lap. That was disgusting. That was so yuck. I It would sit on your lap. That was disgusting.

That was so yuck. I let Leo sit on my lap when I went to the toilet at Megan's. Yeah, he likes to do that too for some reason. Like one leg slip away from having... I'm not going to let it fall between my legs. Are your legs closed on the toilet? We don't have our lips pressed. No, it's too close to naked genics.

Yeah. No, but it's fine. It's fine. You know, these guys are so Yeah. Prude. You two have

Oh yeah, we're prude. It's not wanting animals near our genitals. What a bunch of prudish bloody No, this is the thing though. Of course we don't let it near our genitals.

It's on your lap. It's on your It's on the party about your closest to the genitals. Our genitals are not hanging up on our lap. You know that, eh? Yeah, but they're only hidden. They're right there.

They're tucked away. Yeah. They, exactly, they're tucked away. And they're not standing there. They're standing on your, like, legs. You're on the toilet as well. Yeah, that's another issue. Have we brushed over that issue?

She's ignoring you. That was weird. I was so unhappy to see that. Okay. So yeah, if they get up in your personal space a lot, needs to be with you all the time, that means they like you. If your cat likes to rub its cheeks or head on you,

it's covering you and its pheromones to let other cats know that you belong to it. That's called bunting and that means, look, this is my Herman. My cat, Karen, doesn't do that. He's not like a... Oh, isn't he? No, but the thing is... There's no other cats around. There's called bunting and that means like, this is my human. Oh, yeah, I love that. Karen doesn't do that. He's not like a, oh, isn't he? No, but the thing is. There's no other cats around.

There's no other cats. So he doesn't need to. Yeah. Yeah. When a cat curls up with you or starts kneading your leg, that means that they're enjoying your affection and they're like, this is nice, this is nice. Or licking or nibbling your clothing as well, that's a sign of love.

Right. But that's, you said like nibbling your hands and stuff. Yeah. Does he nibble your clothing? Yeah. No. Right. Now there's one thing that you're doing

which I think is probably causing Karen to bite you because it's a bit inappropriate. So if a cat rolls over on the ground and like shows you their tummy, that means they like you and they feel safe in your presence because that's their vulnerable spot. Yep.

So they're like pretty happy to be like, I'm so vulnerable. Submissive. Submissive, exactly. But then if you reach out and like tickle their tummy, that's like inappropriate touching and they'll bite you. I do the wobbles game. I put my hand on somebody like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, because it's real fat.

But why are they showing it to you if they don't want you to scratch it? Because sometimes I'll pat it and he's cool with it, and then in a moment it can turn from cool to not cool. Well, it's equivalent to you being inappropriately touched. Right. Okay, right. I'm inappropriately touching my cat. No further questions.

Why do it? Why do it again. But then if I was to roll over, like naked and expose my balls, I would expect them to be touched. We'd probably call a psych unit, to be honest, if you did it at work. You'd reach down, play the jiggle game. Wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble. Britain's youngest lottery winner wants the age limit change for national lottery players.

So she was 16 when she won. She wants them to put... Is it 16 in the UK? It must be. What's the lotto here? It's 18, isn't it? Did I win last night? We'll just wait. It's the first time I've bought a ticket in ages.

Did you buy it on your phone? Yeah, I bought it on my phone. Because it was a big one. Let's get up there. It's like 14 million now. Oh, I have one ticket in the Girardot statue. And this is in no way an endorsement for a lotto. I don't want anyone to think that we're...

Can you just... But if I've won, it's an endorsement for a lotto. I've 100% never bought a lotto ticket in my life. Haven't you? No. Even when it gets home to like 28 million or whatever. No. It's the only time for Lotto. I've 100% never bought a Lotto ticket in my life. Haven't you? No. Even when it gets home to like $28 million or whatever. No. It's the only time I ever buy a ticket.

Because I don't know anyone who's ever won anything. Did you win? Like decent. What do I need to slot? I'm getting an animated. It's like I'm watching my granddad how he used to do it with the Lotto drawer. You just skip results when you buy one. Oh, no winners.

I guess you're stuck working with us for another week. I'd like you to learn more about Lotto in the community. Well's like, click here to learn more about lotto in the community. Well, no, I want to learn more about lotto in my bank account. Thank you. Not this week. So Kelly Rogers, she is the youngest lottery winner in Britain. She won two million pounds. So like four million New Zealanders.

And I've Googled, you've got to be 16 to buy scratchies or lotto tickets in the UK. Wow. Well, she was 16. And the reason she wants the age limit to change on National Lottery Players is because she no longer has two million pounds. All her money is gone. And how old is she now? Actually, I'm not sure.

20, I don't know. 31. 31, I've scrolled. There we go. She's 31 so yeah it was a while ago but there's a list of

but does she have anything to show for it like she might have no discretion okay later on anyway it wasn't as if she like

completely frittered away the money where were her parents though wouldn't you you'd hope your parents would be like come on well the first thing

she spent it on maybe that was the parents influence because she bought a house for £180,000. Still. So what's that in New Zealand dollars? £340,000. But houses are way cheaper in the UK.

And 15 years ago. Oh, yeah, true. As long as you don't have to live in London. London's crazy expensive, but outside of that, much better. So yeah, she bought a house. She bought three boob jobs for 18,000 pounds. What?

So she's got three boobs now? Yeah, I don't know. She's got this one done then that one done and she's not going to get one in the middle. Yeah, why have three? Was she like,

no, not big enough. Bit bigger. Maybe. Too big. Too big. Go back. Goldilocks. Yeah.

And then she spent 300,000000 on clothes. More than the house? Yeah. What kind of clothes? That's like a lot of money. Yeah, half a million bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I don't know if she was buying designer clothes or just like a heap of them. I'm not sure. Gifts for friends. This will blow your mind. £500,000. Again, more than the house cost. Buy a £500,000 house.

More than clothes for herself. So, mate, do you think she's lying? No, I think a lot of people would take advantage of you. And you could totally be like, oh, guys, I'll show us all a week to Greece. And that'd add up pretty quick. Yeah, right. And then she spent $250,000 on cocaine.

So her house, which I'm hoping she still has, is probably the only thing of that she still has. And she spent the least on it. Yeah, she put more cocaine up her nose than she spent on her house. And is she miserable? No, she said now that the money's gone, she's happier than she's ever been. She's happy now. Right. So that proves money doesn't buy happiness, but I have a good time at the money's gone, she's happier than she's ever been. She's happy now. Right.

So that proves money doesn't buy happiness, but I have a good time at the time. She bought all of that cocaine but didn't snort any of it, but now that she made a deal, when I'm out of money, I'll start on the cocaine, so that's why she's happy. Right. Intensely happy. Right. It was major news yesterday that property managers can ask to see three months of your bank statements

and it's not exactly, you know, it's not illegal for them to ask. And if you don't give it, then they can be like, oh well. You don't get the flat. No flat for you. No rental property for you. How are you going, Katie? Because you applied for a flat yesterday. We didn't have a look at that one.

Yeah, I didn't get that one. Hey, there's plenty more fish in the sea, but there's not that many more rental properties. Also, a lot of litter and plastic in the sea too. A huge amount of plastic. Yeah. It's quite stressful. So I might just come and live with one of you guys and then,

oh yeah, you've got to spare your own fling. She's just cut off. I don't know what happened. We've lost the link to Caitlin. I don't think you'd want to. I think it'd be pretty scarring. It would be my last choice. What? Oh, no offence.

Because you've got a cat, you know? Because of the allergies. Oh, right, yeah. Because of the allergies. Yeah, right. So the top six things property managers should ask you instead of showing, can I see your bank statements. Number six.

Do you know what this is? While holding up a vacuum cleaner. Also, it's like you'll find all of six of these are kind of like passive aggressive things your mum asks you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, do you know what this is? Holding up the vacuum. Number five on the list of the things property managers should ask. Now, what do you think you put in here?

Pointing at the washing machine. Oh my god, do you know what property managers should ask is, where does the laundry powder go? Yes. Down the agitator. And then if they put it in the fabric softener thing in the middle, you don't get a flat. Especially if it's the landlord's whiteware.

Christ, yeah. Whiteware. I'd even do that if it wasn't my washing machine, if they were bringing in their own washing machine. God, I've lived in flats, and the amount of people that don't know where it goes does get hit in. And you have a flat meeting, and you're like, oh, okay, just so everybody knows,

I provided the washing machine, I just don't want it all up in here. You actually put it down this thing, and everyone's like, oh, yeah, okay, okay. Next day you go, and it's back in there. Yeah, because people are... Am I being trolled in the laundry? Number four on the list of the top six things property managers should ask

instead of can I see your bank statements is what goes in here and how often does it go out there? Pointing at the rubbish and recycling bins and the roadside. Just so you know, they know. Number three on the list of the top six things property managers should ask, what's this and where should it live when it's not being used? Holding a slightly wet bath mat. Hanging up somewhere.

People love to just leave that damp on the floor, don't they? Oh, don't they love it. Hang it up, please. Even if it's just over the side of the bathroom. My mum used to, like, go to come out and be like, back in there, what's wrong with this situation? I don't know. She's like, what's on the floor?

Your passive aggressive tone, mum. That's what's wrong in here. That doesn't live on the floor, does it? I think I got a wet bath mat hung over my head once when I was sitting on the thing. Plop, on my head. I'll hang it on you to dry it. I was like, I can see what's happening here.

It's a good move. And now it's just, you go home and it's like, can you squeegee the shower when you get hot out? Oh, my mum's like that as well. She's got a squeegee thing hanging in the shower. Yeah, same. I just think it was a master stroke from 3M to sell a whole lot of those sticks, those suction

stickers that hold the squeegee in the shower. Number two on the list of the top six things property managers should ask instead of, can I see your bank statements, is what happens in this list of the top six things property managers should ask instead of can I see your bank statements is what happens in this part of the house while waving a hand over like the sink and the bench? And the number one thing property managers should ask

instead of can I see your bank statements is what happens if you make a mess in here in the toilet? What do you do? Do you walk away? Do you like clean it up or do you just leave it to be somebody else's problem? Because you like laugh and you're like, oh, that's right. Flatting for the first time.

We work in an office in a building full of professionals and someone shits everywhere in the toilet. There's toilet brushes provided and it has a quick refill and a strong flush. Yeah. People still leave that and a strong flush. Yeah. People still leave that in an absolute state. Yeah. It's not pretty. Do people get off on it knowing that someone else is going to

have to look at that? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. That's today's top six. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. A song that Vaughn is not a huge fan of. There's news on this today. Do you want to play it please Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. A song that Vaughan is not a huge fan of. There's news on this today. Do you want to play it, please, Fletch?

That'll do. Plain white tees. Hey there, Delilah. This song. I don't know why you hate this song. I used to like it, but it's one of the curses of working in radio is when a song's really popular, it gets played every hour for your entire career, it feels like.

This was nominated for a Grammy for Song of the Year. This was an unbelievably huge song. Yep. And I started out liking it. What you doing to me? So this song is now going to be made into a TV series. Is this going to be the theme song? It better be, right?

It's got to be. I'm not sure if they're like, hey, PYYTs, we're going to make a TV show. It's called Delilah. It's about a girl in New York City and this guy that's a thousand miles away that wants to know what it's like in New York City. And is that okay with you? They're like, yeah, of course. They're like in their head, you know. Oh, it's just had to slow down and I'm going to start making some money again.

Obviously, theme song's going to be Hey There Delilah. Oh, no, no, no, oh, it's just had to slow down and I'm going to start making some money again. Obviously, theme song's going to be Hey There Delilah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to write a new one. So they are collaborating on the TV show, so you'd say that it would be the theme song. Hey There Delilah, what's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand

miles, so what's it about? So, it tells the tale of a forlorn songwriter who is in a long-distance flirty romance with a college student named Delilah who lives in New York City and undoubtedly looks very pretty. They're not going to cast her. She should be ugly.

And then it's all about beauties in the eye of the beholder and then it's like catfish. Is that what you mean? Oh, yeah. I like that too. So the songwriter then tells Delilah he'll write a song

about her that will make him famous and then he'll be rich Okay episode one but what have we got 12 more episodes in the season Well no

and then it's like a rom-com kind of I guess like a drama about their long distance relationship Isn't it alright to call all the plain white

teas a one hit wonder? Well they were right Yes they were Fair enough Were they? Yep I can't think of another song they had 2005 No Hayley Right to call all the plain white teas a one-hit wonder? Well, they were, right? Yes, they were. Right. Fair enough. Were they? Yep. I can't think of another song they had. 2005.

No, hey, that was the other recordings of the song. Yeah, so that was 2005 this song was released. Oh, they did the hate, I really, really, really don't like you. Oh, see? That's another one of these stink songs. It was like hate. Now, brackets. If you don't know what hate means,

it means I really, really, really don't like you. Close it. It wasn't as big though. But that's all, that's the only. You'd still call them

a one-hit wonder. Yeah. But wow, a TV show coming out of a song. Yeah. Maybe it's because they were a one-hit wonder

and they need some other money coming in from somewhere. I mean, if TV networks are just out to troll me by making songs I'm not particularly fond of into TV shows, I can give you a list.

Any Nickelback song? Oh, yeah, all of them. All and every Nickelback song. It could be, you know, for example, Photograph. It could be a song about a guy going home to his hometown. Yep. And his friend Joey's dead now. Right.

But he's got this photo he carries around of Joey. And he's never for all of his years been able to work out what's on his head. It's like a crime thriller. Right. Because he thinks what was on his head may have been like an aggressive melanoma, and that's what killed him. But for all those years, they're like, what the hell's on Joey's head? Every time I do it, it makes me laugh.

Cry. Yeah. And crime thrillers are in at the moment on Netflix. Hugely in. That would be absolutely huge. What other songs don't you like? Hugely in. Sublime.

Anything sublime. Why don't you like Sublime? I don't know. Only person be absolutely huge. What other songs don't you like? Sublime. Anything sublime. Why don't you like Sublime? I don't know. Only person in the world. But those lyrics don't even make sense. What TV show are you going to make out of that? I ain't got no Santoria. I ain't got no crystal ball. It's about a guy who goes to op shops looking for a crystal ball and some Santoria. And every time he walks in

he's like, ding ding, because there's always a bell on the door. And he's like, hey, I ain't got no Santoria. I ain't got no Santeria. I ain't got no crystal ball. Do you have any? Because I'm in a few shops now. And they're like, I don't even know what Santeria is. He's like, neither.

But I'll know it when I find it. Any crystal balls? They're like, we've got crystals and ball for you? No, just in like the weird ones that you have to recharge under the moon. Fletch, you experienced yesterday, and you're a humble guy and you don't want to talk about it, but you've experienced parental pride, something that I am not humble to talk about anytime my children do anything slightly remarkable.

I'll tell anybody that'll listen about it. But yesterday was International Cat Day. It was. Which I didn't even know until all this stuff started appearing online. I know. And your cat made a list of New Zealand's most famous cats. It's a proud dad moment.

It's quite a proud dad moment. I saw it on your Insta story. I was like, oh, this is pretty cute. Kaz the cat. What number? Were they listed in numbers? No, they weren't listed. Just a big list.

But Karen's brother was on there. Who's Karen's brother? Higgins. Higgins. Higgins the cat. From the same breeder. Wow, good genes. And it's mega cute.

Have you had any sort of interactions with Higgins? Yeah, we'll like each other's posts and be like meow and stuff. Cat siblings like to have play dates? Or are they just like, eh? I don't know. I don't know if I want to do that to someone else's cat. Because I imagine Karen would not play nice. They're a bully.

That's such a cute name for a cat, Higgins. I like it. Yeah, it is a good name for a cat. It's not cuter than Karen. Karen for a boy cat. I like for... Yeah, thanks.

It's got the same reasons, but I mean, you're up there with Art and Matilda's cats, Brian and Christine. How many people like Brian and Christine? Not as many as Kaz the cat

Not as many as Kaz Actually of all of these If I'm just having a quick look Kaz is by far and away The biggest Instagram cat On the list But Aran and Matilda's cats What are they Brian and Christine?

Are they driving a Ford? Are they pimping out a Ford on their Instagram? Yeah and they only get paleo They're almost at 10,000 followers. Would they actually feed their cat paleo because they do paleo? But then cats only eat meat, right? Well, no, they eat biscuits. That's carbs.

I don't know. Do they have grains? Non-paleo. They probably have non-paleo. Super ancient, non-activated grains. Well, you've got to think about what cats used to eat before we processed food, man. Yeah. And it was like, you know.

Totes. They'd eat. It was meat, wasn't it? Yeah, and ancient super grains. Yeah. That have been activated by going like this. So they probably feed their cats like chia seeds or something. Oh, wow.

I don't know. I don't know what they. Their cat's pretty cute, though. Their cat's a cute. Yeah, long head. They're Burmese, aren't they? Long head Burmese? Yeah.

See, I've got an issue with Burmese because my great-uncle had one growing up and it was a nasty piece of shit. It was a scratcher and it was a biter. He can't, like, tar all Burmese with that brush. I don't like pugs. I got nipped by a pug. It was one pug. Nope.

You're off the crystal. You've been misrepresented by somebody then. Have a word to that pug. Clint from Bree and Clint's cats were on there too. I was like, goodness me, I wish these guys, all these people I know would have said something. I know, yeah. My social yesterday was Matutes and Fletch and Clint like,

oh, my cat's made this list. It's proud cat. You know, we don't have kids. We've got to have that proud parent moment. Yeah, okay. I mean, I don't want to say it, but I think my cat's so advanced compared to other cats. Oh, no, totally. Because other cats just seem way more stupid, you know?

And they're not doing, you know, the same kind of stuff. You're definitely that parent whose kid is just causing absolute chaos at a cafe, though, and they're like, it's just a free spirit. I can't control him. He's just an absolute free spirit. You know, I don't want to set him too many rules. He's got to work out his own boundaries. And every other parent sitting there like, I'm going to hit that kid.

That kid touches my daughters, he's going to get this. I'm going to throw a Tonka truck at him. Let's see if he can dodge that. There's been a couple of instances of this recently where someone suspected their partner of cheating. So they have bought a tracking system and put it on their car. Is this way? That was in New Zealand. How much?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Because you can get car alarms that track your car and lots of workplaces. Apps on phones. Yeah, right. Workplaces put them in cars so they can see if you're going over 100 Ks. So this guy, David, he bought this from eBay and he put it in the boot of his partner, Stacey's car.

So he's a father of two. I don't actually know if it's their kids, but father of two, suspected his partner, Stacey, of cheating. Bought this eBay thing. Did he hide it in the boot

inside the bag of clothes that someone's going to take to the clothing bin? Because that, you know no one's taking that out. That's a safe place to hide it in the boot inside the bag of clothes that someone's going to take to the clothing bin? Because that, you know no one's taking that out. That's a safe place to hide something in the car. Because you know you see clothing bins all the time, eh? And then you're like, oh, I've got to take this to the clothing bin. And you're like, where was the clothing bin?

And they hide. And they tend to hide. They do. Where was the clothing bin again? Yeah. It's like when you open the fridge and you can't find what you're looking for. It's right in front of you. It's some sort of weird brain trick.

So he had this in her boot and she said she was going on a shopping trip and he noticed she made a detour. So he was like, do you know what? I'm going to follow her because she's not going where she said she was. He was already suspicious because he'd bought the device and put it in the boot. Any word as to what caused the initial suspicion? No. Was she going on a shopping trip and coming home with nothing?

Because that would be very suspicious. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good call. Very suspicious. So this is just, if you're already suspicious, you know what you're going to find is not going to be great. So he followed her. He found her holding hands

with her sister's ex-girlfriend, Laura. And laughing together. His sisters. Lesbian plot twist. Her sisters. Her sisters. Oh, wow. Okay.

So her sister, lesbian or bi, likes women, obviously. But your sister's not going to be okay with that either. No, she's double betrayal. Your partner's going to be upset. And your sister's, you're going up with your sister's not going to be okay with that either. No, she's double betrayal. Your male partner's going to be upset and your sister's, you're going up with your sister's ex. So everyone was pretty upset. This has gone to court

because she found out about the device when he put a photo of it on Facebook and said, I'll find you wherever you are. Okay, that's a little bit psycho. So yeah, he's gotten in trouble for that. So is it illegal to track someone? Kind of is, isn't it?

It's a breach of privacy. Well, I don't know, because if they were married and technically that car was property of both of them. I don't know if they were married. I don't know. But they had two kids, did you say? Yeah, but I don't know if they're his. It just seems he's a father of two.

And then using the word partner, that does sound like it was kind of... Like, yeah. Yeah, but I don't know if they're his. It just says he's a father of two. And then using the word partner, that does sound like it was kind of... Like, yeah. Yeah, okay. Oh, right. I had jumped to conclusions. You jumped to conclusions. Yeah, I don't know if that is illegal.

Because when you do, like, find my friends and stuff, it's both of you have agreed to that. Yeah, yeah. You're agreeing that someone... Or someone just left their phone unlocked on the bench at work and I turned it on and I, like, added, because I'm concerned about the safety and location of my workmates at all times.

You're nosy is what you are. I would love to turn Fletcher's on because just because he's so secretive about it no one else here I wouldn't worry.

Maybe Caitlin just because she gets herself into predicaments. Just that would be me. Oh yeah, especially when we go out. I think we should all turn it on for your birthday

at Waiheke this weekend. Or just be on the island. I can't be there, so it'd be great if you could all turn it on and I'll just kind of pretend I am. No, because I don't. You'd just message and be like, what are you doing in this suburb? And I'd be like, mind your own business. Just tell me, what business have you got over there?

That's what I'd be like. Why? It's curious to me as to why you'd find yourself there. Are you okay? I'm fine, Vaughn. Have you been kidnapped? No, I'm fine. This is how the conversation would go every day.

Yeah. You've been in the supermarket a long time. It was like that time you came back from overseas and you had extreme jet lag and you were asleep and I'd have thought you'd been kidnapped. That was my only logical conclusion. I just slept for like 20 hours. Phone calls and everything.

I know you did panic. Well, I panicked. You should just give him a watch or something one day with a built-in tracker. That's a great idea. It worries me sometimes how I come up with these psycho things. Because what would it take for you to put a tracking device in? Not a lot. You'd just buy an old phone, wouldn't you?

Or if you had an old phone, you'd just... No, I'd buy a proper tracker from eBay. Because how long do those batteries last? That would be my thing about using a phone is that you'd only be good... You'd wire them into the car. You would need it. Then you'd need to go to an electrician and be like, hey, mate, this is going to sound creepy,

but can I get that iPhone charger installed in the boot of the car? So I can, yeah, exactly. So I can continually power this thing. I'm using it to track somebody. You might have heard of the keto diet endorsed by various celebrities who have given it a blast. And Kim Kardashian being one of them. Also her sister Kourtney, Harley Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow in between.

You only say Harley. It's Halle. It's Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Halle. Because it's about the same

as the start of Hallelujah. So it's Halle. It's Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Yeah. Halle Berry. No. Halle Berry.

Halle Berry. She's been so irrelevant for so... What has she done forever? She hasn't done anything for ages. Sorry. It doesn't mean you can write off how you say your name. Oh, you're true.

No, I've always said it wrong. Yeah. Even in times of extreme relevance. And Mijan, folks, who's another celebrity? Megan Fox. Okay, yeah. Forgot about her too. But apparently, is this the one that Paleo peats into as well?

Is it like an offshoot of Paleo Keto? Because that's right. There was a documentary that was on Netflix that people were upset about. And Ternania, you did keto for a little bit. I did. Like paleo? Yeah, about seven weeks. Do you know it was developed in the 1920s to treat children with epilepsy?

Yeah, there's a whole bunch of stuff, but it's not just about losing weight. It's about your cognitive functions and stuff like that. So why is it in the news? Well, because people are giving it a go but they're suffering from something called the keto flu. Did you get the keto flu when you did it? Yeah.

What is it? What's a keto flu? You tell us what you experienced. Well, obviously, so you're cutting out a whole bunch of stuff. If you don't know what it is, it's basically like high fat, no carbs whatsoever. So your body goes into ketogenic cycle or whatever, so it purely lives off fat. Yeah, it's called ketosis and it's the process of like burning your ketones. And the keto flow is when you're in deficiency. So you literally get the flu and you get like achy.

But then that's not good, is it? Yeah, and then you also get constipated, which is also... Oh, why did you do this? Is that only at the start or something when you're trying to get used to it? Yeah, so it's when you first get into ketosis, I think. So what kind you eat? Bread. A lot of relate everything.

Pretty much apart from like meat. Are you allowed to eat cheese? Yep, cheese is fine. Oh, okay. That's a good thing. Can I eat it? Can I eat it? Yeah, see, fine. That's a good thing. Camomile and cheese. So what I did was just ended up eating fresh fruit and vegetables. No fruit

and vegetables. No fruit ever? Nah, because it's no sugar. Not even natural sugars. Oh god, boring. So it's just like bacon, cheese, eggs. That's about it. Don't die of a heart attack 32. So that's what this keto flu

is the issue. People are getting about a week in and experiencing nausea, vomiting, headache, tiredness, dizziness, insomnia, poor exercise, tolerance and constipation. There you go. All blocked up because you're living on meat and cheese. But that's not making you like constantly sick. That's an adjustment period, right? Yeah, and then apparently

you get over it, but apparently it's pretty awful. Yuck. Yeah. No, not keen. Nah, I'll Yeah, and then apparently you get over it, but apparently it's pretty awful. Yuck. Yeah. No, not keen. Nah, I'll pass. But then for some people absolutely swear by it. Yeah, yeah, they do. They love it. It's just too strict.

Like, you can throw your body out of ketosis if you don't, if you eat bread or something and then you have to start over again. What about you let it smell garlic bread? Give it a light lick. Why would you want to smell it if you can't eat it though? Because a life, even with the scent of garlic bread, is a life better than no garlic bread at all. But people are swearing by it and saying

it's working for them and everything, but a lot of people are saying they just had the flu hit them so hard, they're like, no, this can't be worth it. It went back to... I was wondering if anybody listening's ever had tried a diet that just did nay agree with them

right like maybe it did just make you see you were following it to the letter but it just ruined you because a lot of people do the juice

I mean that's pretty much every single diet right the juice diets or they just do the cleanses or the juicing and that can mess with your body yeah

that can give you like green moneyny poos. The opposite of conservation, right? Not that I know. And like you can lose weight on those, sure. But then as soon as you eat something again, you put it back on. You put it back on.

Right. And like then you're just getting a lot of sugar from the fruit and stuff rather than actually the fibre. But yeah, I got really runny green poos. Just FYI. That's a lot of info. Well, you've got to make sure you put green stuff in your juices and your

smoothies. And beetroot, but then you've got to always, I put a little mark on my hand for beetroot, because I love a little roast beetroot and then you forget about it and you think you're dying. Okay, so we'll take some calls. 0800 dials at M9696. When did you try a diet and your body just didn't agree with it

Like what happened Were there some weird side effects Because a lot of people If they just go Eat like carrots They go orange eh Yeah carotene in it Can make you go orange

It's like when babies Are learning to Eat solids Yeah An easy thing to cook them is Carrots and pumpkin But then The baby can go a little bit orange

And obviously that freaks out a new parent. What do you call health lining? You're like, hello, my baby's orange. I'm really bad at this. Plunkett. You're like, hi, Plunkett. They're like, I don't want to see you until next week. Ah, yeah, so my baby's orange. Is it a numpa-lumpa? Yeah, I know. Look, I don't know. I'm beginning to

think the mother may have cheated on me. Alright, so when did a diet backfire? Give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Keto flu is something that happens if you do the keto diet, which is a big celebrity, it's a popular celebrity diet. It's what Kim Kardashian's doing, apparently.

It's basically lots of protein, lots of meat, low carbs. It's the latest in the line of Atkins, South Beach and The Zone diet, which are apparently kind of similar. But then Dr. Atkins, he died of clogged arteries, didn't he, in a heart attack? Yeah, he did. Didn't he pass out on his steps? Yeah. Skinny though, should he have looked good?

Love bacon. Oh, he did look good. So we want to know what diet didn't agree with you. Sure, they might work for some people and you gave it a shot. Yeah. But this food lifestyle change. Some text messages said, I tried paleo. I couldn't keep my shit together, literally.

I figured that's why paleo peats are so skinny. Everything just flows in, flows straight back out again. It's all the coconut oil. It just makes it flow out of you. I tried the broccoli diet. What's just broccoli? Yep. Work's all the coconut oil. It just makes it flow out of you. I tried the broccoli diet. What's just broccoli? Just eat broccoli. Yep.

Worked amazing. Very tasty. No, because I'm imagining going to let cheese sauce on it, right? The only problem was it was just a constant state of smelly fluffs. Yeah, yeah, right.

Oh, yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. Somebody else said I jumped on the lemon detox diet bandwagon. It was cool. Lasted three days. I fainted.

So I resorted back to just eating food and goodness, I've never looked back. Somebody else said the lemon detox diet, it was highly recommended by friends, but it just gave them the Bernie Bernie bum wheeze. Yeah. It's awful. You did the lemon detox when we first met you. Stop, because you're such a foully While you're on that

Yeah I was just angry And you gave me a taste Of what the juice was And I was like How often do you have to drink this And you're like It was like lemon and cayenne pepper And honey

Or no Maple syrup Horrible Kelly what happened Well I was on Trying this diet Called the Dukin diet Which is like

Basically chicken and eggs So it's real good So it's called the Dukin diet, which is like basically chicken and eggs. So it's real good. So it's called the Dukin diet because that's the noise they make. Dukin! Wait. What? Dukin! Dukin!

Dukin! Dukin! Because you went, Dukin! I went, Dukin! That's not saying Dukin. It was Dukin. Let me slide down for you. Dukin! You're going, brr. Do a dirkin. Let me slide down for you. Dirkin.

You're going brr. Do a D. Dirkin. There you go. Dirkin. I'm a chicken. Anyway, Kelly, you did the dirkin diet, and what happened? Yeah, I was on it for about a week and a half and was actually losing weight, so that was great.

And then I ended up with horrific stomach pains and went to the doctor and had ultrasound scans and internal scans, and I couldn't tell it was great. And then I ended up with horrific stomach pain and went to the doctor and had like ultrasound scans and internal scans and I couldn't tell it was wrong. So I went to hospital for four days, which was a surprise because I thought I was going there for another scan and they admitted me. Yeah. Ended up with diverticulitis, which is an old person's disease. And I was 30 at the time. And it's like an inflamed pocket

in your bowel. Right. So all I was on antibiotics, like pretty hardcore for about four days to try to clear it up and so that all got sorted out but now I've got to be really careful about like eating popcorn or that really seedy

bread because it could get stuck in a pocket and set it off again. So is it because you didn't have enough other stuff in your diet? Not enough fibre. Oh, wow, okay. Wow. Yeah, not fibre in it. Something to be careful of. Kelly, thanks so much for your call.

No problem. Carla, what diet didn't agree with you? So I decided to do a really kind of fun challenge called Veganuary, where you go vegan for just the month of January. Oh, I thought that's where you didn't shave your pubes for a month. Don't be rude. Don't be rude. Wasn't that one of them?

Vaughn lives on a very high horse. Please continue. So is that hard right after New Year's, though? It was, and it was also supposed to be a bit of a detox after Christmas and New Year's. You know, just something kind of really healthy and, you know, cut out, I guess, dairy and stuff. But I got the worst guess you could ever imagine. I thought my body was like rotting from the insides or something.

And it was so bad I Googled it because I was so worried. And it turns out that's just what happens when you go on a high-fiber diet because you're just eating lots of raw food and all that sort of stuff. But it was obviously the worst month of my entire life because that's how long it takes for your body to adjust. So I had to put up with it for the whole time. Did you, like, work out when opportune moments to fart were, like when a dog walked past or, like, when there's a kid around,

like, blaming other things kid around, like blaming other things? Yeah, definitely. Just trying to, you know, go, oh, I'm just going to step outside for a minute, that kind of thing. Yes, yeah, yeah, that's a good one. Alright, Carla, thanks for your call. Kate, what diet didn't agree with you?

I went on the carnivore diet. It kind of did agree and it kind of didn't agree. So your diet was the polar opposite to Carla, who we just talked to. She went full vegan and you went full carnivore. Yeah, I was just eating animals with fries. So do you literally not eat any veggies?

Oh, like I did. I was sneaking in like some broccoli here and there. I like that you had that caller before when you're being naughty on your diet, it's broccoli. Like everyone else in their naughty on their diet, it's like a broccoli here and there. I like that. You had that caller before when you're being naughty on your diet, it's broccoli. Like everyone else in their naughty on their diet, it's like a whole bar of chocolate. Yeah, no.

And broccoli. But it was really good. I just didn't eat enough fat, so basically I didn't really drive. But the changes you get is you don't like to, which is like quite odd, you know? What, you just didn't poo? Well, you do poo,

but because your body's using everything, like your body uses all of it, so there's no waste. Oh, so there's just nothing to poo. Yeah, yeah. Or there's no fibre and it's just not coming out. Yeah. Oh, right. And look at Sean Baker.

He knows he's pretty. He's like an advocate on that. Okay. Sean Baker. So we'll spot him. He's the dry skin guy that never shits. All right. Thanks, Kate. Thanks. John Baker. So we'll spot him. He's the dry skin guy that never shits. All right. Thanks, Kate.

Thanks for your call. Somebody said listening to all these stories just really makes you realise how stupid we are as humanity that we got to the point where we created so much food

we made ourselves fat and now we're endlessly trying to find a way of getting out of it. Reversing it. Yeah, it's so true, isn't it? Yeah, we are crazy.

Every other animal only does exercise when it needs to to eat again. Yeah, yeah. But we do exercise because we already ate. Yeah. Too much. Like, we're crazy. They're looking at us and they'll be like, that crazy. You guys need to warn me when we're doing this segment

so I can take some kind of blood-pressuring medication. What was the Black Eyed Peas news that we had recently? Maybe you were telling us about Black Eyed Peas. You know, they're going on tour, on tour, and she's not coming, so they're not going to do any songs with her mostly in them. There's a bit of beef going on there, right? Yeah, I don't know

what's happening. So any Black Eyed Peas song from 2004 to... Anyone, basically. Yeah. They're not going to play. Yeah. Well, hey,

I don't have beef with them. They sung the intro to Don't Get Fletched Started, which was so lovely. They did a stilts of salt on that one. It was very much appreciated. They did.

Oh, but today, Don't Get Fletched Started, we learnt this after he was having a whinge about a trip to the supermarket. I don't. When I come in, when we're talking in here between each other, that's not a whinge. That's friends talking. Oh, so we're not supposed to bring that up on air?

Is that what we were saying? Because it seems fine when it's me and Caitlin. But when it's something to do with old Fletchy poos. No, my point was I'm not whinging, I'm conversating. But I was just wondering in studio, just between friends,

what's everybody's thoughts on upselling at a counter and also when they ask you if you want anything else, even though it's obvious that you don't. Yep. What are your thoughts, Megan?

I mean, personally, I see having worked at a petrol station where we were told constantly to upsell, I can see that these are just people doing their job. Yeah, and it's just easy to say, no, thank you. Yeah, no thanks. No thanks, not today.

What about you, Fletch? How do you feel about it? I know they're doing their job. But so this the other day, I had a car from work and it needed filling. That's another don't get me started on. People that return cars to work without petrol in them? I thought that you had to put petrol in it. Do you not?

Well, you're obligated to. Well, I did because it was like the empty light was on. So I was like, all right, I'll go to the servo. And while I was there, I was like, I will get some delicious snacks. I'll get a water. I'll get a drink. Maybe I'll get a muffin and maybe I'll get some chewing gum. Okay.

So I chuck it down there and he's like, do you want anything else? Would you like these chocolate bars? I'm like, no. But I put stuff on the counter. I'm already getting food. If I wanted chocolate bars, I would have got them because they're everywhere. I can see them. It's impossible to avoid them.

It's impossible to avoid them. But isn't their boss, don't they have to like gesture to them because then the boss will look on camera to make sure. That's why they always gesture. But isn't their boss, don't they have to like gesture to them because then the boss will look on camera to make sure you, that's why they always gesture. I'm waiting for the day that they make pay, you know, he can pay at the pump so you don't have to go into the store. They've already put a vending machine out there. Oh, yeah.

Because when I worked at a servo, that's what he said, most of the money was made on the markup in the store. They make it. Do you know what? They probably can't have food next to, or mechanically things next to a petrol pump. That's probably the only thing stopping that happening. Oh, yeah, right. But it's, I just.

It's just a simple thing you can just say no thank you. And I know they're doing their job, but just, I've already got food. And it's junk, it's heaps of crap. So you've never been upsold on a Choccy Bar? No, because I'll make a decision before I get to the counter. Right. You know, I spend a lot of time looking. Flopping about once you get there. No, because I'll make a decision before I get to the counter. Right. You know, I spend a lot of time looking.

Flopping about once you get there. No, I'm not a flippy flopper. But like at the supermarket I find that quite helpful sometimes because they'll be like, is there anything else?

Do you need rubbish bags? Tags? Anything else? You're like, actually, whoopsies, I do need rubbish bags. But they only say that now because Megan

this is in West Auckland. They used to be out in the store but everyone was stealing them. So the only place you can get them now is behind the counter. So it's super easy to forget them when you get up there. But they're like, is there anything else? You're like, yes.

But why did you have to ask when you worked at a service station? Because it was money. It would make the service station money. But why do you care? You're not getting a commission on it. They told them to. They're constantly telling me to. Well, just give it up.

You know when you work somewhere and they tell you to do something? And you don't own the place and they're paying you next to nothing to be there. You know, you kind of just do what you're told. Because you're 17 and you don't really know any better. And you as a grown adult can just say no thank you. Yeah, and I do. But inside, in my head, I'm like, stop. I would have got the chocolate bars if I wanted them.

Are you just angry then because you do want the chocolate bars and they're just giving you another strip towards the invitation? Yes, of course I want the chocolate bars, but I shouldn't because I already had a muffin. And he's like, do you want the chocolate bars? Do I look like a guy? Do I? I look like a guy.

You know why they ask you in a supermarket? My friend worked at a supermarket, and she said it's because it's giving you one last opportunity to own up if you've stolen anything like I was saying do you want anything else

and you're like no I've got it all in my coat like you've got some hella's bacon down the front of your pants and like anything else and you're like

actually yeah actually yeah I was going to steal the um the bacon but I'm not I'm going to fish it out of here. I'd be like, no, no, no, no, no. Have it, have it, have it, have it, have it.

Have it, have it, have it. No, they said that was part of it. It was giving people a chance to own up. Well, a chance would be like, is there anything you want to declare that's down your pants? If you've got the balls to chuck some streaky bacon down your pants, I don't think a psychological track. It would be better if you didn't have balls in your pants because you could fit more streaky bacon down your pants. I don't think a psychological track. It would be better if you didn't have balls in your pants

because you could fit more streaky bacon in there. I mean, streaky bacon on the balls would be very cold. Yeah. I saw some underwear advertised on Facebook, and it was a video, and they put a wallet and then a phone and then some other stuff down there. It was like a pocket on the front of your undies.

I was like, how much room do you have down there? Also, then when you go to a checkout, you've got to put your hands down your pants. Yeah. You're like, hold on, mate. Have I got your one card? You're like, do I have my bloody one card? All right, just let me get it.

Sir, sir, please, we don't need to see your penis again. No, I told you that only happened last time because I thought that was the one card. I pulled it out by accident. FEM. Hung some, just talking in studio, hung some pictures yesterday. Some photos we got of the girls. Really arty.

We got full body portraits. Yeah, yeah. These very talented people do these photo shoots for kids. And they're really cool. Because when we were kids, I don't know what your family portraits were like, but ours were pretty. We had photos in a park by a tree. Did you?

You went outdoors. We never went outdoors. We never went outdoors. It was quite a rigmarole. And you only had the four of you. Yeah. Because sometimes you see a family portrait with like seven kids and you're like, how did you even leave the house?

And they were always awful. I remember mum and dad got, we got one just before I moved out of home. I don't know why. Well, I guess they send them to relatives, don't they? Because they want a memory of just before. Oh, I don't. They spent all these years raising you

and they want a memory of what it was like just before you left. I don't like going home and seeing, I don't like going home and seeing family. I just hate it. I don't know why they wanted a photo together. Was it professional or was it just like you all? It was a professional one, but it was just weird.

Oh, we never had professional ones. We just all got out on the lawn or something with the stool. I had to sit on the stool and Dad behind me. Who took the? I don't know, Grandad or something. All right, okay. They've come a long way. Those portraits look really cool.

Yeah, yeah, they're awesome. They're awesome. And so yesterday I got them printed, got a frame for them. And then what is and I remembered when we did renovations, this really did my head in. I was asked for my opinion when I knew it wasn't worth

squat. Why were you asking then? What do you reckon we should hang them? Because one of them was going to take over a picture we already had on the wall. So then the big debate is where does the second one go to compliment the first one? Right. So I say, well, I'm a huge fan of symmetry.

It's like we've got one house plant on one side of the TV cabinet and I'm just going to go out and buy one for the other side. It does my head in. It's unbalanced. Why is it not on the other side? They'll never be exactly the same. Even if you do get the same plant, they're going to grow differently. Yeah, because I'll handicap the...

You just chip it off. No. Just chop it at the tops at the same height. Don't make matching plants on either side. That's weird. No, I want to give a symmetry to my lounge. I get that. Because when I hung the TV, it had to be right in the middle of the window above it.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Everything, I like it symmetrical. Yeah. So I wanted a plant on the other side. So logically, the frame that existed was on one side of the television. And I said, look at this. And I measured the gap. And I was like, this is what it would look like.

Even though I knew, I knew. When I was asked, where do you think we should put it? I knew. It didn't mean anything. Do you know why we asked? I shouldn't have been asked. We asked not because, not because she wants to totally disagree with your opinion. We just want what you say to be what we already think.

So we've got an idea in our head. So you're asking not for my opinion, you're asking me to echo your existing opinion. Yep. But what if it's wrong? In this case, is it wrong? Oh, was I wrong? So anyway, I said this is where it would sit, like equal space from the window, TV.

Boom, look at that. That's Wes Anderson symmetry. Yep. And she was like, hmm. I was thinking, and immediately I was like, I know you weren't thinking that. I could have told you this. So wait, you were going to put the picture on the side of the TV?

Beside the TV. So there's India were going to put the picture on the side of the TV? Beside the, yes, so there's India on one side and August on the other and it's like the TV in the middle and you're going to be looking at TV and when something comes on you're not interested in your look

and you're like, that's right, that's my kid. Don't put your kids either side of the TV. People are looking at them. No. So then,

it would have looked symmetrical though. It would have looked very symmetrical. I don't know when I'm going to go home today. I'm going to drill a hole in the wall and I'm going to hang it there. Because here's the other annoying thing. Yeah. I'm always expected to hang it.

Yeah, right. I'm always expected to do everything involving in the physical aspect, the measuring, the levelling, everything, finding the spot. Oh, it doesn't have a stud behind it. Whatever will we do? I don't know. Vaughan Smith's already got a jib thing in there.

So anyway, so she's like, well, here's where I think it should go. And I'm like, okay, my problem is it's on a wall on right angles. And to me, it's got to be the same distance from the corner then and that wall can't accommodate the same distance from the corner. So this one's going to have to go in. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, it can't go in. So I'm like, okay, well, if we put it in the middle of the wall, from this angle, they're never going to look the same

because they're looking at two different angles with different distances from the centre. Non-symmetrical in every way. I did see, I did, when I saw the photo, I was like, in the corner, interesting. When I saw the photo, I thought, brilliant. So if, interesting. When I saw the photo, I thought, brilliant. So if you actually draw lines that are perfectly at the same level now. But they look out of, yeah, yeah.

Because of the angle. So anyway, that's my debating that quite furiously. I said, even if I hang these perfectly, it's going to look out of whack. Unless you're in this exact right position. And too close together, too. So then she's like, oh, I'll FaceTime mum. I was like,

this is interesting because I know exactly what's going to happen here. It's going to be, they're online, they're mother and daughter. They share a lot. They're like best friends.

So they're interior design very on point. I'm like, I don't, does she live here? Does she? That's what I said. Under my breath though. And I was like, already doing that FaceTime point. I'm like, I don't, does she live here? Does she? That's what I said. Under my breath though.

And I was like, already in that FaceTime thing where it was like, I was like, oh, she lives here. And, what'd you say?

I was like, what? Nothing. I was just thinking out loud about how this is going to, just measurements. I was saying measurements. So then,

her mum's like, oh yeah, no, no. And agrees with her. I'm like, I know this is going to happen. And then she's like, oh, yeah, no, no. And agrees with her. I'm like, I know this is going to happen. And then Shada's like, okay, cool. Well, yeah, so you just hang those.

You should have called your dad. Oh, he loves symmetry. Yeah. You should have called Ian. Ian's a huge fan of symmetry. And then it would have been two, two. Oh, and then who would have come in? I don't know.

Mum would have come in and mum would have started with Shada because mum's like. But I like it because it's like an artistic positioning in the corner. It's like here is the Indian August nook, you know? The corner. Whereas like either side of the TV just looks like you've gone, there's a space, make it symmetrical, hang them up. Perfect.

That sounds great. That sounds great. No. That sounds fantastic. No. You've got your special wee corner with your girls. It's huge. It's like does my nut in on the New Zealand flag

that the stars aren't symmetrical. One's slightly higher than the other. It's majestic. Make them even. Do you know what the most annoying thing is? The New Zealand passport. The fern on the edge of the, it's not in line. No, it's not in the centre.

It's not centred. In any way. Oh, it does my head in. Don't get me started on that. Oh, Shade's just messaged in caps, oh my god, the pictures look great, let it go. No, it's... They do look great, Shade. You made the best decision. But then she's like,

okay, so you can hang those. And I was like, I can hang them. Can I? Is that what? And then, so I get them up and I get it up, tie the strings, like, I'm pretty good at hanging pictures. Yeah, okay. I rate myself as

a hang in a frame. Well, then it's your job. So it looks good. The strings are the same, everything. I mark them, they're level. I, like, run a thing across. They're at the same height. And she's like, they don't look quite even. Shit. A wreck. I was like alright okay FVM the podcast

story in the news about a couple that were overseas and were ripped off in Italy did they get that thing where the people tie the bracelet around your wrist and they're like, oh, pretty thing for you, pretty lady. And then they put it on your wrist and it's a bracelet

and then they tell you it costs 40 euro? No. Oh, that definitely happened to me. And then I had to run away. Why can you not take the bracelet off? No, because they tie it on. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And they tied it on my wrist.

But then when you try and leave, they're like, you're stealing from me. So there's no like win situation. No, I'm pretty sure if someone is walking past your house and you're like, hey, come here, hold this TV. Now, oh, you've stolen my TV. That's not how stealing works. They do it in like tourist hotspots though. So like there's lots of people selling things.

Okay, no, no. This story, if it's the one I'm thinking of, they were, like, by an official proper restaurant. It wasn't just a one-on-one scam. And I remember the very first time I went to Italy with Contiki, they said, you've got to be really careful in the cafes. Right. Because, you know, in New Zealand, they'll be like,

do you want water? And you're like, yeah, and they'll bring you a couple of glasses. Oh, do you want more bread? And a bottle. Yeah, and then all of a sudden they sting you with like bottled water prices even though it was from the tap. Yeah. Like you've got to be so careful.

So what do you say then if they're like, do you want some water? Just tap water or ask how much it costs first. Right. Before. Right. So they're like still, sparkling, tap, you're like free. Free water. Free one.

Yeah, but then quite often it's not. Well, this comes up. A furious customer slams a Venice cafe after they, him and his partner were charged £38 for two coffees and two waters. So do the math. What? That is close to

£38. About 70 odd New Zealand dollars. 70 odd New Zealand dollars for two coffees and two waters. Current exchange rate, $72.50. Yeah, $72.50. Most cafes in New Zealand, you get the water free

and then you get a coffee like, say, $4.50. So it worked out if you break it down, £10.30 for each cup of coffee and £8.90 for the water. Which, by the looks of it, was a 250ml bottle.

No, see, being the sceptical bird, this has never really happened to me overseas, where it actually cost me money. I was in Thailand and they tuk-tuked me to a bloody suit factory to live in a place with a jewellery. But that didn't cost me any money. Yeah. But I'm too, I've always been too sus.

Like, that's why even at restaurants in New Zealand, they're like, do you want some water? And I always, oh yeah, just the tap stuff. Just the cheap stuff. But sometimes you get lulled into a, you know, you don't even think about it. Right. Because you're a bit, you know, busy. Well, the thing is, this happened in St. Mark's Square in Venice.

So apparently it turns out if you sit inside the cafe, it's a lot cheaper. But what you're paying for, the owner has come out and said, well, you're paying to sit in this incredible square and you get a band, there's music, there's, you know, the view. So you're paying for that. Yeah, you don't sit in any of the outdoor areas

because, yeah, you're paying for the view of St. Mark's. And there was always bands and there's a piano even outside where someone plays classical music. He said if they just wanted coffee, they could have had it for £1.25 at the bar. And then walked away with it, but they got a sweet seat. Yeah. And it's the same a lot of beach resorts overseas. If you see all these lounges, you're like, oh, that would be great. What a great spot.

It's in front of the hotel. It must be free. Yeah. And then you get stung with, you know, 20 euros or whatever to sit on a lounges, you're like, oh, that would be great. What a great spot. It's in front of the hotel. It must be free. Yeah. And then you get stung with, you know, 20 euros or whatever to sit on a lounger all day. Yeah. You get back to your room, Bill's got a lounger on it. You're like, what?

Didn't this happen in some older you, Anya? Didn't someone say you had to pay 20 bucks to? Yeah, so we went to a wee phalae restaurant and went and had lunch, went for a swim, got back to the car and this, like, very large guy came over and said, hey, yep, so you've got to pay, I can't remember, it equated to about $20. And I was like, oh, okay, yep.

And then the guy behind him was luckily like, oh, no, no, no, no. He's just like, yeah, move along, move along. But what was he saying the $20 was for? To park there. Even though it was free to park. Yeah. And like we dined at the restaurant. Not the restaurant.

Like where it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, I always find jokes from hugely intimidating physically. People standing over you are a real hoot. A real hoot. You'd probably just pay the $20 so I didn't. Yeah.

We're wondering this morning if you've ever had one of these, let's call them hidden charges. Okay. When you're overseas that you think maybe looking back on it, you're like, I definitely got ripped off there because that's not something that you pay for. Yeah. The one where they put the bread on your table

and if you don't, like, you eat it because you're like, here it is. And then they charge you afterwards. Yeah. They're like, well, you ate it. I'm like, you put it there. I didn't ask for that. No. well, you ate it. I'm like, you put it there. I didn't ask for that. No.

I thought it was free. Yeah. All right. Well, maybe you've got a little scam tip that you can let us in on if this has happened to you overseas. 0800-DARLS-AT-HEM-9696. So taking your calls there, little tips you've got traveling, the little rip-offs you've encountered, a couple in the news for their $70 two coffees and two waters in Italy.

And that's not, we're getting quite a lot of that through. Kiwis as well getting ripped off by that scam overseas. We've come to the conclusion you just don't sit down in Europe. Yeah. Because that big coffee drinking in Italy, they stand to drink. They have a little coffee. It's not like here where you sit down for a minute, you have a quick chat, a little coffee. It's more like a smoke break.

Right. You know, when smokers go outside, they stand, they smoke, because if they sit down, they're going to be there for a while. And if there's a seat with a view, don't sit there. Yeah, it's going to cost you money. Walk past it. Sarah, what happened? Hi.

So it was our first overseas trip, and we went to Bali. Yeah. And we got there, and we had our transfers all organised to the motel, and then they come and take our bags off the conveyor and, you know, taking you to the taxi and then when we get to our taxi, they're actually nothing to do with our transfers. And they make you pay to give your bags back.

Yeah, they're effectively holding your bags hostage. We carry your bags. We carry your bags. Did they not have a sign at the airport for you? Or did they just walk up to you? No, and it was our first overseas trip, and we didn't know where we were. They just say, we checked your bag. And we were like, oh, that's really nice.

Thank you. I know. I remember reading that Bali Airport's really bad for that. You've got to be quite careful. Right. Yeah, so now, we're going to be careful. I always find when I go to a new country, especially if it's like, you know, it's a little bit daunting, just if you Google like the big,

the top scams for that country. Yeah. We did that for Thailand because we were like, we're not getting scammed again. Yeah. Oh, you need it for Thailand. You do, yeah.

You'll be at the special blessed black Buddha down the back end of the thing buying a gold flake in no time. You will. Thanks, you're cool, Sarah. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn no time. You will. Thanks, you cool Sarah.