ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 10 2018

Episode Date: August 9, 2018

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This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. And what a big show we've got for you this morning. Huge announcement.

We even got a clap. What a big show we've got for you this morning. Huge announcement. We even got a clap. What a big show. Well, and by the way, somebody has, we've just come into work and somebody's put confetti cannons on the desk. I don't know why we keep wasting our money on these. They never work. I know this is a new brand. I know. We keep going for new brands in the hope that they'll fire.

Because I think about four and five don't fire. Yeah, we just have to like poke our fingers in the end and then wave them around so the confetti comes out like some sort of flamboyant Harry Potter situation. Made in Jaina. Well, these ones are a new brand. They don't need your... But are we using...

Are we saving these confetti cannons for the Friday Jams announcement today at 9.30 or for the imminent possible winning of ZM's Secret Sound? I'd say Secret Sound first. Whatever, whatever, okay. Well, there's a jackpot, $40,000 for the Secret Sound. So, 8 o'clock this morning, if you want to have a crack at that,

all the clues that we've had, the wrong guess is ZM Online. But yeah, 9.30 this morning um the announcement for friday jams i don't want to say anything i know we can't we can't give too much away but all the details at 9 30 and we will give away the very first tickets as well one of the songs is playing over and over in my head but i'm not gonna sing it out loud because I'll get in trouble. Why are you sitting so high today in your chair? I've got this new thing here. I went to the... Oh, it's a big whoopee cushion.

Chiropractor yesterday. Oh, yeah, for your sore neck. For my neck and stuff. And apparently my posture is absolutely appalling. Ah, poor, ah, poor. Yeah, well, that's why I had a sore. When I'm dropping in with the boys, I've got to sit on a Swiss ball.

But do you know what? I'm not against that. That could really up my Fortnite game, you know, give me a bit of like, yeah, I'm ready to go. But you can still slouch on a Swiss ball, can't you?

Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. I think it just, you're supposed to sit forward on them, so it encourages you to like spread the chest and put the shoulders back.

But then this little disc looks like I've got hemorrhoids. It's a bit of a nana cushion, isn't it? Apparently it's supposed to make me do the same as the Swiss ball, but on a chair. So I said how the disc's at a weird height. But this is what happened to me. It's the same thing, and it's happening to people younger and younger because we're all looking at our phones.

Oh, yeah. Like we're all getting sore necks sooner than you normally would have, like back in the day. Yeah, I've got a status that every time you look down at your phone, you're putting eight kgs of extra pressure on your neck. Because my physio was like, do you realise how heavy a human head is? And I was like, well, I've never decapitated anybody, so no. So what are you

supposed to do? Like have your phone out like your mum and dad like up in front of your face? I, I, I maybe. I don't know.

Look really posh. Look at your phone down your nose. Anyway, damned to prove. But yeah, I don't know. Unsure.

Alright, we're all buggered. Alright you lot, listen up, it don't know. Unsure. All right. We're all buggered. All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Three news headlines for three stories. In Vaughan and Megan pick one. That's how story time works every time.

No changes around here. She's tried and true. Tried and trusted method. Yeah, we tried. Other ones didn't work. But nah. Just rubbish. Not good.

Exactly. All right. Two stories, four stories. Three's perfect amount. It really method. Yeah, we tried other ones, didn't we? But they're just, nah, just rubbish. Not good. Exactly. Two stories, four stories, three's perfect amount. It really is. Yeah. We're happy here.

We had our ways. We picked them. They picked stupid ones. Yeah, exactly. Headline one, don't tase me, bro. That's that famous, yeah,

from a university lecture, right? He was getting kicked out. Huh. Why hasn't he popped his head up again, has he? Headline two, UK biscuit gender debate. And headline three, it looked like a puddle, says driver. Oh, yeah, and he drove into a lake, a sinkhole.

Oh, shit. Yeah, love a good sinkhole. Number two I know as well. That's the on morning television in the UK. What's the show called? Good Morning Britain. Yeah, something like that. It's morning.

Good morning. It's morning. Sunrise. Sunshine. Yeah, good day. Yeah. Good breakfast. Wake up.

Eat. Brush your teeth. I think we've just named every television breakfast show in the world they were discussing whether or not it was sexist that a ginger person would wear a dress

what? and I think I think from the argument because they I remember they had the conversation last year about calling them gingerbread men

because you just call them gingerbread people and so then from that side it was like third wave feminists saying it should be gingerbread men because you just call them gingerbread people. And so then from that side it was like third wave feminists saying it should be gingerbread people

but now it's swung around the old way and some like old white guy saw one wearing a dress so he's like I thought you said I want my gingerbread

people wearing dresses because it's more gingerbread. Bingo. Also guys can wear dresses. It could be a gingerbread Scottish person.

Or it could just be a dude who wants to wear a dress. I'm not eating a bloody transvestite gingerbread piscis. You can imagine some old dad saying that.

What if I eat it and then I become one? Oh, yeah. Okay. Cool, man. Yeah, that's how that works. Not that one.

Great understanding of people. Good stuff. Should we go Take Me Bro then? That's the only story left that's how that works Not that one Great understanding of people Good stuff Should we go Take me bro then That's the only story left Yeah Okay we go now To Ohio

And an Ohio police officer Is in trouble Because in his And this is Sadly It's not uncommon For a lot of Police officers

In the United States Have second jobs Really Because it doesn't It pays rubbish And so a lot of them Will do overtime Or they'll do a second job And a lot of them Do security Police officers in the United States have second jobs. Really? It pays rubbish. And so a lot of them will do overtime or they'll do a second job. And a lot of them do security in places.

And this was the case here. A police officer was working security at a supermarket, a Cincinnati supermarket, when he saw an 11-year-old girl, a fourth grader, stealing food. Now, apparently she allegedly ignored him when he said stop, and she just walked away. That's when he reached in and grabbed his taser and tased her in the back. An 11-year-old. Girl. Girl.

An 11-year-old. Girl. An 11-year-old girl. Wow. Yes. So apparently Cincinnati, this is the Cincinnati Police Department procedure for tasers. To say stop once and then tase. Because here you don't have to be like, tase,

tase, I'm going to tase you. So I'll be like, stop, and my immediate reaction will be like, hammer time! Because don't they say taser, deploying taser or something? I think you have to say it like 18 times in New Zealand, don't you? Taser, taser, please don't make me use the taser. I'm going to get my taser. I'm going to have to fill in a lot of paperwork.

Don't want to use my taser. I'm pointing at the taser. Okay, just run away. No, I can't let you run away. Taser, taser, taser, taser, taser, taser. So the police department procedure in Cincinnati says officers should avoid using tasers on children under seven. Under seven.

So even under like, so. So does that mean seven-year-olds are open? She was almost twice the legal age limit for a taser. Because she's 11. Even an 11-year-old, who's unarmed, by the way, who probably had a packet of biscuits, and also people over 70. You should avoid people over 70. Now,

that reminds, it was just last week, I forget, maybe it was a week, I can't remember, but there was a story about New Zealand taser. The goat. Yeah, and the goat, because you remember a while ago they tasered a goat? Yeah. And there's been, maybe was there changes to the procedure here? Was that the story?

They kind of tightened up the rules. So you can't tase a goat anymore. So I think goats are on the list of things you can't tase. Right. In New Zealand, which is fair enough. So what, if there's seven, it's all good? Or over seven. Over seven, So eight plus.

But how are they going to know? How old are you? Excuse me, how old are you? I'm about to tase you. Because I always lie to my, I always tell my kids to lie. Like if we're going on the bus, under fives are free. So I'm like, you're under five. You're under five.

Let's just lie. And then do they get on the bus and say, dad told me to say I'm under five. How old are you? And they're like, dad, well, dad said I'm under five. But I'm six and a half. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, kids, eh, kids. Tase her, tase her. She's old enough to be tased.

Earlier in the year, we spoke about the new United Kingdom laws surrounding pornographic websites. Pornographic. Pornographic. Pornographic. So basically they want to enforce like age gates and things. Weren't they going to get a special card that you could go and get? You could get one from like your local dairy.

Yeah. So you had to go get like a porn card. G'day, Steve. G'day, mate. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks. Just a two liter of milk, porn card, triple dip for this weekend's $18 million draw. Did I say porn card?

I don't need a porn card. I really don't need this other stuff. I just didn't want to just come in and just get a porn card. Yeah. Cards declined. Cancel everything but the porn card. Because then you can show ID when you're buying it and then I guess it's got some kind of code you put on or something.

Yeah. It hasn't come into effect in the UK yet. It's nuts. You have to buy it. You know internet, porn's free on the internet, right? Like no one's paying for that. I've just Googled. It says here the UK government has delayed a controversial age verification block,

which was meant to go live in April. And it's looking like it'll maybe be the end of the year, but it looks like it's becoming quite hard to organise. Because you think about all these sites. It's becoming quite hard to organise. Because you think about it, all these sites, they're not... It's becoming quite hard to organise. It's like the internet is... How many percentage

of porn websites? 90? Upwards of 90. And then 9% cats. Yeah. I don't know. Is this like one person being like,

we need to do this and everyone else is like, yep, we will. Do you know, maybe the British Parliament is like 90% dudes as well. So they're like, this is happening. They don't really want it to go through. Isn't it? And they're like, know, like, maybe the British Parliament is like 90% dudes as well. So they're like, this is happening. They don't really want it to go through.

Isn't it? And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep. Of course it is. What's the news on it? Is it happening? Well, New Zealand could follow the UK. What? Is the news.

Yeah. So basically our censorship laws haven't changed since the internet. Right. So they're a bit worried that there's young people, children and young teenagers that are getting online and seeing porn. And they're like, well, we're going to follow suit with the UK. We're going to keep an eye on what they're doing. And it could be something we could introduce in New Zealand.

Age gates and... I guess it's fine, but isn't that like the parents' problem? Like, shouldn't they get a net nanny or something? Yeah, there is totally ways as a parent to put things on the family computer and iPads and stuff to... Is that easy to get around though? Because like young people are pretty good at... Oh, when they get to teenagers, I'd imagine so.

Just be like, do-do-do, skiddly-dee around, net nanny. Yeah, yeah. But are we talking quite young? I don't imagine so. It would just be like, do-do-do, skiddle-dee-dee around, nick-nack-ney. Yeah. But are we talking quite young? I don't know. I mean, there's an obligation on parents to kind of supervise your kids' use of electronic stuff.

Like, we don't let the girls take the iPads and watch YouTube down the other end of the house. Right. Because you want to know what they're watching.

Because I want to be able to hear what they're watching the whole time they're watching it. Yeah, right. Fair enough. So, I mean, yeah. Dicey one. I don't know how you're going to.

Again, I don't want to have to pop down to the dairy. G'day, mate. Because how are you supposed to put an age restriction on a website? It's like when you go to liquor stores and it's like, are you over 18? You're like, yes. Even though I am, it's still like. What's your date of birth? You can literally just select your date of birth and then add however

many years you need to be to be 18. Yeah. It's a little bit... Is it almost un-policeable? Like, it's the Wild West, the internet. Yeah. Like, you can... The main websites can, but there are literally millions and millions of websites.

How are they going to do it? How are they going to police all of those websites? I think that's why it's taken so long in the UK. Yeah. But you do. Because how do you do it? Obviously, yeah, you want it to be safe for kids, you know, online. But at the same time, it's like you don't want to go down to the dairy

and have to get a porn card. Yeah, and there's still like instructions on how to make bombs with like household stuff that can kill people. So maybe just try to figure a porn card. Yeah, and there's still like instructions on how to make bombs with like household stuff that can kill people. So maybe just try to figure that out too. True. I don't know.

Yeah, good call. Good call. Yeah, because I've still I've said it before and I'll say it again. To me, bombs and guns are still more offensive than nips and buttholes.

Yeah. Well, nips and buttholes aren't going to kill anyone, are they? And everyone's got nips and buttholes, you know? Exactly. Not everybody's got homemade explosives.

Very true. I was born with nips and a butthole. Right. I wasn't born with a gun. Very true. How God intended it. Amen. The big guy upstairs loves nips and he loves buttholes.

That's why he gave everybody both. Right. Okay. He didn't give us all fannies and doodles, did he? No. Okay. Amen. Are we at Sunday school? That's your sermon. There's your praise be for a Friday morning. Everybody. Both. Right, okay. He didn't give us all fannies and doodles, did he? Oh, okay. Okay. Amen.

That's your sermon. There's your praise beef for a Friday morning. Now, Producer Arnie, we talked to you yesterday about the keto diet. You did this for a little bit, the keto. I did indeed. Explain again what it is. So no sugars at all. That's including natural sugars like your fruits and everything.

It's just high fat, low carb You're like burning through You're already stored fat Now this is what I want to introduce The dirty keto Is what this is called The dirty keto It's like a dirty bulk

You know when you're bulking up It's a dirty bulk You get some burgers Dirty bulk The dirty bulk What was the idea behind the dirty up? It's a dirty bulk. Dirty martini. You get some burgers. Dirty bulk. The dirty bulk. What was the idea behind the dirty bulk? It's just bad food. It's fast food, basically.

So it's not actually... It's not good lean protein. Sort of endorsed by personal trainers or anything? No, not really, no. Right. Yeah, it's just what you say when you're eating burgers. You just want to fill out a muscle tea or something. Sure.

Pretty much. Like Vin Diesel. Yeah. Oh, Vin Diesel. Did you see that photo yesterday? No. Yeah, but Vin Diesel hasn't been cut for ages. Let's not feel bad about it.

And Vin Diesel's worth heaps of money, so don't. I thought the fat and the curious was very mean. I saw the picture. Oh, did someone say that? Yeah, because he was like looking because he'd obviously heard a noise. He was out on his deck with no shirt on, and it said the fat and the curious. I was like, that's a bit like on the chin. Yeah.

Leave him alone. Yeah. Poor Vin Diesel. Anyway, I don't know if he's been on the dirty keto, but the dirty keto is like the keto, but you can eat like takeaways. For example, a dirty keto practitioner would be perfectly fine with eating fast food

three times a day as long as they kept their carbohydrate intake under 20 grams. So that would rule out a lot of burgers, eh? Because the buns would make your carbs quite high. So you could have like

a double down. But a double down, the crumbing on the KFC. Like the coating. Yeah, yeah a double down, the crumbing on the... KFC, like the coating. Yeah, yeah, the coating, the breading on the outside. That would be... Well, there's a lot of... The crumbs on the chicken is less. It's only six grams of carbs.

Honestly, I'm in like a Facebook page and everyone works out of takeaways. People always get double downs. It's like keto crack. That's keto crack. That's your treat. But again, so it's dirty keto. So yeah, that's the thing is a lot of

people have, like you say, joined Facebook pages, YouTube channels dedicated not just to keto, but to dirty keto. So I guess if you can treat yourself. See, this is something I could do. But again, I couldn't go without fruit. Yeah, yeah.

And as soon as you do something wrong like that, like have too many carbs or have fruit or something, you ruin it, right? Yeah, you're like, oh, well, that's me for the day. Where do you get your vitamins and stuff from that you get from? You eat veggies. Oh, right, so you're allowed veggies, just not fruits. And Double Downs have got like vitamins. Yeah.

It's got calcium in that cheese. There's Downs have got like vitamins. Yeah. B12. It's got calcium in that cheese. There's protein in the chicken. Exactly. And those chickens have had so many growth hormones that they must have some sort of immunisation properties to them. The top six with Vaughan Smith. The Oscars have a new category that you can win one of those little gold statuettes in.

It's popular film. And people are saying, this is not what the Oscars are all about. People are having a whinge, saying the ones that make enough money kind of make enough money so they don't need to worry about Oscars. That's their prize, isn't it? Yeah. It's all the money. Huge blockbusters. Yeah.

And let's be honest, like a Michael Bay movie or, you know, even Avengers, they're great movies, but they're not cinematic masterpieces, are they? Let's be honest. Whoa, Justin. Whoa. They're not. Whoa. The Avengers is a cinematic masterpiece.

Let's not chuck Michael Bay in with, like, the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But also, not all blockbusters miss out. Like, Titanic, Lord of the Rings, they get Oscars. You know? Yeah, but the Lord of the Rings movies, only the last one got that massive haul. Before that, they only got special effects. Yeah, yeah.

They get special effects or sound editing or something. And I think you felt like that was a bit of an ode to the legacy. Yeah. And everything they'd achieved, eh? Yeah, yeah. And even then, there was people whinging about it that year. Yeah. That it they'd achieved. Yeah. Yeah. And even then there was people whinging about it that year. Yeah.

That it shouldn't have won as many awards as it did. So the most popular Oscar, I don't know the judging of it, but I assume it's money made. Because that's how you rate popularity, right? Yeah. But how many people have bought tickets

to go and see it? Well, the Academy judges it. Or like how many... Which one they like better. How many cool memes it inspired. But then would you say that like movies that are more

popular have more like say for example if you did Black Panther would that win next year why because it was

that was kind of the end of last year wasn't it they would put in the biggest movies in the like in the nominations and then it's judged

by the Academy. Right. The winner is judged by the Academy. Black Panther was massive though. Yeah. Yeah. That was a great movie.

Yeah, and a great movie. So a movie like that could win whereas it would never win an Oscar. But then a movie like that is you because it's so much CGI as well. Yeah. So does that deserve to win? Yeah.

Yeah. You're allowed to win with CGI. Yeah, true. That movie ruled. Such a good movie. I know, it's a great movie. So the top six new Oscar categories for your consideration. These are other ones that I thought, well, if we're adding some new ones, let's add six more.

Okay. Here's my top six ideas. Number six, the best movie with The Rock in it. That dude is in so many movies. What's the latest skyscraper? Although you guys hassle San Andreas, but I really liked that movie. San Andreas, skyscraper, Jumanji. Oh, that was fun.

All the latest Fast and the Furious movies. That dude just nonstop makes movies. He's got an HBO series. Where does he find time to still work out? He's making bank too. Does he sleep? So much money. He was the highest earning actor last year.

I think he made $124 million. Wow. Madness. That's nuts, eh? So number five on the list of the top six new Oscar categories for your consideration. Best movie that I'll just wait for on Pirate Bay. I mean official legal digital download. Yes.

So you know, you see something and you're like, I'll go see that, but I'll probably just wait. Yeah. I'll wait. I'll wait. It doesn't look like something I need to see. Surrounded by the smell of popcorn. Number four on the list of the top six new Oscar categories for your consideration. Best movie with adequate quiet spots for wheeze breaks.

Oh, yeah. As a movie weir. You cannot go an entire movie without going to the bathroom. Absolutely not. What movie? A Quiet Place? Mission Impossible. I know.

I picked the best part of the movie to go for a whiz. Yeah, and you were real quick too. Oh, I was super quick because there was nobody else there. You told me about, isn't there a website or something that you can go to? RunP, it's an app. Yeah, that tells you the best time to go in a movie. And the dude who organises it, he's got like a team now, but they get officially invited to like premieres

and previews and everything just so they can get it out there all in time. They've become quite a powerhouse in the movie industry. Run P.

That's awesome. Number three on the list of the top six new Oscar categories for your consideration are best actor that you can't name but you know them

from somewhere and you'll go oh that's right when you internet movie database search them. Yes. Which is me in every movie. Number two on the list of the top six new Oscar categories. Best movie that made everybody clap at the end.

Oh, yeah. Takes a special movie to make people clap. It's still weird going to a movie where you clap at the end. Everyone clapped at the Mamma Mia preview I went to. The second, the Mamma Mia 2. Mums love clapping. Mums love clapping. Mums are huge fans of clapping.

And they got quite excited in that movie. Super jazz. Loved a bit of Abba. Yeah, Cher. Cher and Abba. It was a great movie. And the number one suggestion for the top six new Oscar categories for your consideration. The best movie that made you think there was going to be a post-credits scene

so you stayed there but there was nothing and the lights came on and you realise how grubby movie theatres are after a viewing. Like, why are people

throwing so much food around? And that's today's top six. If you've ever popped into Ancestry.com and traced back up the old family tree. Which one did we do? Ancestry.com.

Then we spat in the tube and you get the pie graph of, yeah. Did we get a family tree? I just know that I'm 8% Spanish. No, you log on and you start piecing the pieces together. And if you know enough, like the thing is, I know my mum's granddad's name, for example. And I put him in and I've got some details. And then someone's like, that's a very similar name to this man

who was born in the same place around about the same time as this him too. And then if I click yes, it merges my family tree with whoever else's family tree that was and it kind of... And then do you have to talk to those people? Oh God, no. No, but people message you.

Oh yeah, I've had messages from people. I always get messages like, hey, we'd love to link in and see, and I'm just like, get away from me, you online weird people. You want a Christmas present or something? What are you trying to get some money? Four times removed? Get out. People really do get into it. And there's the other big side as well.

23andMe, which is huge. That's how they caught the was that the one? Golden State Killer. Yeah, State Killer, where that's online and it's kind of free and what do they call it? Open source kind of. Oh, right.

I didn't know that. I think that one was in the news last week because they're teaming up with a pharmaceutical company to make drugs with people's DNA. Is that allowed? I don't know. What, to be like, hey there, Dave, family history of baldness. Do you want to take care of that before it becomes a problem? Like that sort of thing.

Yeah, I don't know. Crazy, eh? So just maybe bear that in mind. That is the crazy thing about this. If you're genetically linked to somebody through that and then you commit a crime and your DNA is taken and then it's similar to this person's and they can go through and kind of have a bit of a scout round.

Oh, it's scary to think about. But there has been a celebrity in the news this week. Well, Beyonce's great, great, great grandmother was a slave born in 1800 and her name was Rosalie Jean Louis. And she ended up, she escaped slavery by marrying her owner. A slave owner. So Beyonce's found out that

she's a slave and a slave owner. So did he see the error of his ways? And he's like he fell in love. So the story goes and there's letters and stuff but he actually married her. He fell in love. So the story goes in these letters and stuff, but he actually married her.

He fell in love with her and married a slave, which would have been a hell of a thing. Yeah. In that time and place to be marrying a slave. But she said, yeah, she just found out. She did the old family tree and ran it up there and found that at the top. What did he do with that information?

Did he stop having slaves after he married her? Well, like any bloke who's got married, Megan, he became the slave. I'll tell you that. Oh, the shoes on the other one there. No, I don't know what he did. Question stands. I can't tell you what he did with his... Yeah, that's...

So, because she is a mum, but mums love these. Mums and grandmas and grandads love a chat about the family tree. Oh, that person's related to us. Oh, yeah. Or a second cousin through a... You know, like, if there's ever anyone famous in your family tree, oh, the family love to talk about it. They know about it. They know about it. I don't think, sadly if there's ever anyone famous in your family tree, oh, the family love to talk about it. They know about it.

They know about it. I don't think sadly there's any. Nah. Because I got quite into the old Ancestry.com until my free year ran out. Now to hell with a lot of them. But nah, I couldn't find anything too juicy. I mean, the fact that a guy from Norway jumped ship in New Zealand and his name was Christopherson and he changed it to Smith

and that's how I'm a Smith, not a Christopherson, is probably the most exciting thing I could find. I know, because imagine if you were Vaughan Christopherson. Do you reckon we'd still be Fletch, Vaughan and Megan or would we be Fletch, Christopherson and Megan? Still Vaughan. Yeah, Christopherson's got a mouthful. People can't even spell Vaughan, let alone Christopherson.

Do you, producers, are there any interesting stories about the family trees or anyone famous in your family trees? Or are you just all plain like rural Canterbury like? I think I'm related to the Queen somehow.

I've definitely got rural blood. Look at me. Because you're so pasty white. Yep. And what are you the result of inbreeding. Well, that's what the royals are, famously. I think one of my relatives owns the Johnston's coach line buses that you see go down to French Asia. That goes.

I think so. That's famous. It's the same last name. It's pretty good. I mean, yeah, they're everywhere. Yeah, they are. James Johnston. And my dad said, you know, no matter what, all the Johnsons, we're related somehow.

Because it's the last name, right. So whenever we saw it, as a family, when we were driving, if we saw a bus go past us, we're like, yeah. That's the family bus line. Yeah, that's the family bus line. God, I wish I could be somehow related to Fletcher Construction. Good time for them, though?

What about you? Previously, previously. About three years ago. Good financial times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great to be part of huge construction companies in the booms.

Can we take some calls? Is anybody listening now that's got an interesting story in their family tree? Like maybe a famous person or an infamous

person? Because you know their parents or grandparents love to chat about the family tree. Yeah. Who's in it?

Who's in it? Does anyone have a good story? Love to take some calls. 0800 dials at M. Talking about Beyonce's discovery this week in her family tree that her, what is it?

Great, great, great. Grandmother married. Her slave owner. Yeah. Her owner. Because she was a slave. That means she is the descendant from. Well, that means her great great great

great grandfather or did she not have babies with him? No she is the descendant. Oh yeah so it's her great great great great grandfather was

a slave owner. Yes. So we want to know from you now on 0800 DALSATM 9696 you can text

if you've got an interesting family tree story maybe someone infamous or famous, going back. Some text messages in a couple of Christmases ago, I was texting my auntie who was at the formal Christmas lunch, who said to me, oh, you really missed out at lunch today. Your cousin is dating Floom. Okay.

And they said they could have had Christmas with Floom. Apparently Floom was at Christmas. Would they have they could have had Christmas with Flume. Apparently Flume was at Christmas. Would they have been calling him Flume? I don't know. And Flume, Flume, could you pass the gravy, please? Is it DJ Flume or Flume? What do you want me to call you? Would you like some stuffing?

Flume. Would you just sing the lyrics to him? No. That's silly. Don't be silly. If I don't the lyrics to him? No. I don't know any lyrics. Don't be silly. If I don't know lyrics, I'm great. Harley. Harley is his name.

Harley Flo. Harley Flo. No, it's not Harley Flo. It's just Harley. Harley, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Now, who's in your family tree that's interesting?

Well, I found out out just playing around with this that Thomas Jefferson, the American president, is my sixth great uncle. However, the scandalous part isn't. I'm multiracial. And the affair that he

had with his slave, Sally Hemings, that had children with the black slave, Sally Hemings, that had children with the black slave. I'm not related on that side. I'm actually related on his side. Goodness, the white side. The plot fixer. This is

like classic family treat or gay life. It's even worse. It's even worse. I gave this test to my sisters because they thought it was intriguing and we found out that my father is not my It's even worse. I gave this test to my sisters because they thought it was intriguing and we found out that my father is not my oldest sister's father. Oh!

Oh, was that like the first time she'd heard that? Yes, she suspected that she was premature and asked my mother when she was younger because she realized that my parents were married in April and she was born in September. And we grew up in a really strict Southern Baptist home.

And my mother says, oh, no, no. I was pregnant with you, you know, when your father and I got married. What an incredible story. Wow. What a family tree. It's more of a vine, isn't it? An overgrown tree with a vine on it. Yeah, it's just shooting out everywhere.

Ali, thanks for your call. Kimberley, what's the interesting story about your family tree? Yeah, one of my great, great, great grandfathers was the first harbour master of New Zealand. And his son, Captain Thomas Wing, was the harbour master who was supposedly responsible for the wreck of the Orpheus up in the Hokianga Harbour. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Like, like he... It's all been researched and everything, but he apparently sent the new plans because there's big sandbars and everything up there.

Yeah. He sent all the new plans over to the Australians and basically they used the old plans and that was where the old sandbars were. Oh, so it's not his fault that that ran aground.

Well, of course, the family would say it's not his fault. That was, like, yeah, New Zealand's worst shipwreck. Yeah. Was it? Yeah, yeah, New Zealand's worst one. Goodness me. I'd be keeping that quiet. Yeah, but he's also related to Sir Peter Blake.

Oh, great family tree, Yarns. I mean, lots of sailing stuff there. I mean, I'd listen to you if you had a theory on the America's Cup. You know, that's how strongly you're bound to. Exactly. Thanks for your call, Kimberly. Kevin, what's your family tree story? Oh, hi, guys.

Look, I've got the same surname as Caitlin, and when she was saying that the royal connection, I thought, well, there's a rumour in the family, and I went to try and prove this rumour, and I'm trying to still get there. That's where we came from, William the Conqueror.

So, I... So you're saying Caitlin Merritt could be related to William the Conqueror? Yeah, that's where it's come from. Caitlin, you're a Norman. Oh, a what? A Mormon? No, a Norman. Oh, okay.

I'm from Normandy. Hi. Normandy in France. Okay. William the Conqueror did die over like a thousand years ago, though. So I reckon there was just like this. That's pretty hard to prove. Yeah, this foggy period, eh, before the internet.

Yeah, if only they had the internet. So, Kevin, does that mean we've got royal blood and we're going to be real rich? Yeah. Yeah. Would you guys be allowed to date or would that be too weird? No. Not for the royal family. No, for Caitlin and Kevin.

I've got a, I'm a bit old for Caitlin, sorry, and I'm married. Oh, no. Can you switch those arguments around? I'm married and I'm a bit wrong. Thanks for your call, Kev. Somebody sent some text messages in. My great-great-uncle was Richard William Pierce.

The guy, the flying guy. Oh, yeah, the Pierce brothers. Yeah, his planes at Motat. God, we get told that every time we go to Motat. My dad sometimes just drag you to Motat when they need to impress you. Somebody said my great-great-great-grandfather apparently founded the town of Bulls. I mean, that's a huge claim, isn't it, for the family? Unbelievable.

That's what they do there. That's what they do there. They put bulls in everything. The pilot in Dunkirk, I think this is the one that Tom Hardy played in the movie Dunkirk, was based on a Kiwi. He was from Westport and he's related to me on my dad's side. Cool. That was a great movie.

I don't know if they cast him. He looks exactly like Tom Hardy. I hope so. if they cast him. He looks exactly like Tom Hardy. I hope so. Go with it. We'll get him because he looks like him in, you know, a boat haul. My famous family member that we found out through Ancestry.com was Ned Kelly, the Australian bush outlaw. He was my great-grandfather's nephew.

Oh, yeah. He said, I can draw your diagram. I mean, I believe you. I totally believe you. That's all we need. Yeah. FBM. What would either of you two say is the key to

an amazing sex life? I don't know. I asked it and immediately I was like, I don't want to know. Nobody else being home. Good curtains. A strong Wi-Fi connection. And the neighbours not mowing the lawns. Why?

What's wrong with them mowing the lawns? Well, it's distracting. It kills your mood. It kills the buzz. It's like, oh, wait then. It's weird that mowing the lawns inhibits you. No, it doesn't. Nothing can stop me.

Go on, what did you say? No, we're not going to talk about that. I don't know. Well stop me. Go on, what did you say? No, we're not even talking about that. I don't know. Well, there is scientific research, scientific research. Okay, the answer. The answer to what makes, what is the secret to an amazing sex life. It's nothing to do with spontaneity. It's nothing to do, like, passionate or anything like that.

Would this be, question, would this be for single people or people in a relationship? Oh, I mean, if you're dating someone be for single people or people in a relationship? Oh, I mean, if you're dating someone, but it's probably more in a relationship. Okay. Um,

it's to, forward plan. It's to schedule your sexy time. And we're talking a date and a time. Okay.

Yeah, because you couldn't meet someone on Tinder and be like, all right, um, Sunday, yeah, Sunday, 7pm, it's happening.

So they're saying you need to be very thorough and dutiful and stick to it. So if you've made a plan, like a weekly plan, say it's Sundays and 5 o'clock in the afternoon. Oh, you'd change it up, wouldn't you? I'm thinking like an iCal event. An invitation. Yeah, but you don't say like repeat weekly forever.

You'd change it up, wouldn't you? Yeah. Well, it's a schedule because then you're more likely to stick to it. And just like everything else in your life, you have to make time for it. But that doesn't sound very sexy, does it? No. It takes away the spontaneity and the... No, but the actual situation can be sexy and, to me, spontaneous.

Like, you know it's going to happen, but you don't know how it's going to happen. There's not a lot of spontaneity in my house, because if I, like, go to bed and I'm like... I just fall asleep straight away. And at least, like, booking a time is, like... I mean, asking and begging for it is less sexy than booking a time. You have made a wonderful point. Like if you're like, please, can we do it?

Come on, please. Is far less sexy than ding, ding. Oh, it says we've got 15 minutes till event, including five minutes of travel time. Good that you've allowed travel time. Always allow travel time. I always click on the travel time. Good that you've allowed travel time. Always allow travel time. I always click on the travel time. Otherwise it goes ding ding 15 minutes to travel 50 kilometres. I'm like well that's not happening.

As a metaphor for travel time. Yeah I thought that's what we were doing. I would have included that in the 10 minute booking. I imagine that was the amount of time it needed Vaughan to get up the stairs. Like when you said travel time. I get distracted.

Yeah, you get distracted. So five minutes to get upstairs. And then is it a 10 minute booking, including travel time? Yeah. Oh, that's sad. But so this is studies have shown it. Yeah, researchers have said that couples who book it. Yeah, okay, so they've done that.

How long do I book it out for then if you're all rolling your eyes at 10 minutes? Give it at least 15. Not including travel time. Okay. And then travel time afterwards too. I'm going to do this right now. Let us know how you go.

I'm going to do this right now. I'm not telling you when because then everyone's going to know when I'm not having sex. Are you going to invite her to this or is it just you? Well, I was going to do when I'm not having sex. Are you going to invite her to this, or is it just you? Well, I was going to do two appointments. One for myself.

Right, okay. You're going to treat yourself. This morning, Caitlin arrived at work, and there'd already been a mishap in her life, and she joins us now to tell us what happened. So you've turned 28, and life is not getting any better us what happened. You've turned 28 and life is not getting any better. I know, like when does life get easier?

It doesn't. It doesn't? It doesn't get easier. I mean, when does shit things stop happening to me? Hey, but don't worry because tomorrow it's your big Waiheke birthday celebration. I might not be able to come after what happened this morning. Stop being dramatic.

So what happened? So, mum, don't listen. So I was reversing out of my drive. Yep. And it's all a bit different with parking and stuff at the moment because one of my flatmates away and my other flatmate is parking in my spot. But it's okay. It's fine.

So anyway, I had to try and manoeuvre out. And then, you know, when you get in your car the first thing in the morning mate's away and my other flat mate is parking in my spot but it's okay it's fine so anyway i had to try and maneuver out and then you know when you get in your car the first thing in the morning and like there's water on your windscreens yeah and you know how like you can't there's no window wipers on your side like wind down window yeah and you wind down your windows anyway so i was running late this morning as well because it's friday and i was just running late because i slept him and so as i reversed out i was like oh no i'll just go so i put the handbrake on so that i didn't like roll forward into because i'm up on a steep bit of uh like a handbrake on as you reverse as no then Because you know like Because I'm really good at driving Would you have not left the handbrake on overnight?

No I did No because I didn't want to Roll into my other flatmate's car So I put it on I put the handbrake up So then And then You know how

You did the manual lower of it Yeah yeah yeah Backwards hill start But I I didn't really Yeah Get the The pedal to the handbrake. Ratio.

Yeah, the ratio. And so, yeah, I went quite speedily up backwards up my drive and took out my mailbox. And I was like, oh, what was that thud? And I looked around and I was like, oh, my mailbox is supposed to be there. So you knocked over the mailbox. So it's on the ground.

Yeah, and because I didn't want to be late to work, I was like, oh, I'll just leave that there. Yeah. Because I thought for a little bit, I was like, I could blame this on someone else. No one saw me. Yeah, that's true. It's pre-5am.

I've done that in the car plenty of times. You just like push the thing back up and balance it so the next person that touches it, it falls over and they think they did it. Yeah, yep. Just tell me when someone else hit it. But my light on the back of my car's got a big hole in it. Yeah, they don't know. So there's the evidence.

There's all you'll need. So then you were asking how to fix it and I said, I don't know, I'd need to see a photo. And my favourite part of the day so far was when Fletch said, well, wait till the sun comes up and check on Google Maps. And then you'll be able to show Vaughn how bad it is. And, like, he didn't laugh and I kind of, like, ha-ha, laughed. Then we thought there's no way she'd believe that.

And then we hear just before that you're out in the producer's booth loading up Google Street View to see what the damage to the fence is when the sun had come up. Yeah, there's like this random red car on my drive. Yeah, and then she's like some randoms in our driveway.

And there's like a dog. It's from November 2009, that's why. God, Caitlin. Oh, it's such a punish. What do I do? Someone can fix that for me, eh? I've got, no,

I've got drills. Fletch has got so many drills. Fletch has got a grunty drill. Too grunty for his requirements. You're not going to come out to my house this afternoon, are you? I would love to see Fletch try and do that. Look at his face. I can do stuff.

Well, your dad's a handyman. What are you doing this afternoon then? Probably having a big old nap. Yeah, you're busy. Well, no, he's a tradie. My dad's a builder. What are you doing this afternoon then? Probably having a big old nap. Yeah, you're busy. Well, no, he's a tradie. He'll say he'll be there between the hours of like 12 and 2020, and he'll be there some stage. Yeah, he'll get there.

But it could look cute if it just was propped up on the ground, right? That's not how they work, though. No. That's not how they work. But I think you should. That's good, though, Fletch. You should pop around. Oh, I'll come around and fix it. That would be great. Big nails. Yeah, with's not how they work. But I think you should, that's good though, Fletch. You should pop around. I'll come around and fix it.

That would be great. Big nails. Yeah, we put an outfit on, we take the top off. Ew. Sorry. I witnessed that. Sorry.

I witnessed that. Is that harassment? Is that workplace harassment? It certainly is. It was unwarranted and you didn't ask for it. But it's a knee jerk reaction. It's like you tapped my knee

and it shot out. I just, knob it. Unbelievable. I'll leave my shirt on You can take your shirt off if you want to Will you wear a tool belt? I don't have a tool belt Where do you get tool belts from?

Same place you get anything Bumming Can you fix my car as well? How do I fix my car? You can just get red tape Is it the red part of we looked that up. You can just get some red tape. Is it the red part of the light that's broken? Yeah. Yeah, just get some red tape.

Does it mean the light's still working? Yeah, the light. Well, I don't know. You need to check that. God, you're such a hot mess. All right. F.M. Scientists have delved into what you might be doing wrong on dating apps.

So if you're trying and having no luck on dating apps, it's really sad, the reason. It's because most people... So is this people that aren't getting matches even? Yeah. Okay. So they're like trying to they're swiping right on people and aren't getting matches. Okay. It's because you

are setting your sights too high and you are going for people who are 25% more attractive than yourself. Oh, so there's a percentage now. You're batting out of your league. The math nerds have even worked it out. You've got to aim high though, don't you? And of course you're going to go for hot people.

Yeah. Even if your success percentage is significantly less. So 25% too hot, swipe on 25% more even the playing field persistence is key if you are set on doing this if you do persist you will

eventually get a match then you still have to meet up with them like you've only matched with them you've already worn them down how do you feel about this finding? Because you don't have much matching with people, do you? It's just either you can't be bothered carrying on conversation.

Yeah, because you match and then I have to start the conversation. And apart from a wave, I don't really know what else to say. That's such a bad start. No, I know. It's good if they've got like a dog or something in their profile and then I can be like, oh, I liked you because I want to meet your dog. Like just funny, cool, clever stuff like that. What's your secret to success?

Fletch? Just like anything. Anything, guys. Like not fussy, no standards. No standards. No standards. And then, you know, like, yeah, it's fine. The door's always open.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Make a match. Hey, the doors are locked. 247. I don't know. Make a match. Hey, the doors are locked. Two, four, seven. The doors are locked. There's some standards, Megan.

I don't know. So, yeah, you're supposed to... But I can't blame... You can't blame people. No. Like, if you see someone hot on a dating app, of course you're going to swipe. You should be genetically, like... You should genetically function to only

be matched with people who are the same as you, like within your league, you know? So you should be able to look at another six and be like, yeah. You know what I mean? It's different because I think people have different opinions of themselves. You want to breed, primarily

you want to breed with the best option possible, right? No, but I'm saying you should, if you're a six, you should be able to look at another six and be like, oh my God, they're a ten. Like you should be genetically attracted to your equal. I think I'm like a seven or a seven. Sometimes you meet people and like they're honestly like nine or tens and they're like, I'm a six. Or like they don't, you know. Yeah, no, how do you know?

And otherwise, let's talk about before you've got to wear them down. I don't want to get married and then be like, oh, they wore me down and here we are. I think you'll find many a long and somewhat happy-ish at times marriage is based on that. Friday Flashback. Flashback, flashback. Okay, so Friday James announcement.

Friday James Live is happening at 9.30 this morning for this year's lineup. It's huge. It is like we cannot stress and stress that enough. It is such a huge announcement. It is going to be in one hour 20, right? 9.30 this morning we're doing the announcement. And we will have the very first tickets as well. So you have to be listening at 9.30 this morning.

But as a warm up, as always for Friday Jams. Yeah, so I'm playing someone who was at Friday Jams Live last year from 2005. There's two versions of this song. I'm going to play the good version. Did you just,

did you just screw your face up? Totally screwed his face up. Um, be pleased. You were totally dancing to this last year. Get off it. Okay, be pleased. You were totally dancing to this last year. Get off it. It was number one in the US for only one week, but it was in the top 10 for 17 weeks.

Argue with that. I can't argue with that. So, as a warm up, I'm going to play you Sean Paul. Temperature. Alright, it's your Friday flashback On, sit in the time, cold I wanna be keeping you warm, I got the right temperature for shelter you

from the storm, hold on, girl I got the right tactics to turn you on, and girl I wanna be the papa, you can be the mom, oh oh, you can see the girl them broke out on the floor from your door on the walkers, papa ma, from your door on the man, we can't turn you on, girl man can't see you when I'm upon ya, can't stand for the long, nah, eat no yum, no steamed fish, nah, no green banana But down in Jamaica, we give it to you hot like a sauna Well, oh man, the way the time Cold, I wanna be keeping you warm

I got the right temperature I feel shelter you from the storm Hold on, girl, I got the right tactics To turn you on And girl, I wanna be the papa You can be the mom, oh-oh Make it to the girl, then broke up on the floor From your door, I walk with my mama From your door, no man, you can be the mom Oh-oh Take a seat and get them broke up on the floor From your door, no one can help a farmer

From your door, no one work here, turn you on Girl, man, can't see you when I'm upon you Can't stand for the long night Eat no yum, no steamed fish, no green banana But down in Jamaica, we give it to you hot like a sauna Well, oh, man, the way this time Oh, I wanna be keeping you warm I got the right temperature for shelter

You from the storm Hold on, girl, I got the right tactics to turn you on Is it him? ZM from Friday Jams Live last year. Shut up, all. Just to get you in the mood for our Friday Jams Live line-up announcement at 9.30. We'll have the first tickets as well. And spoiler alert, somebody's wearing a t-shirt in the office with the artist on it. One of the artists that we're announcing.

For this year. Spoiler alert, for this year. Is that official tour merch? No, it looked like one of those ones you'd buy on the pavement. Like someone had screen printed themselves. On a blanket? No, they can pick up really quick and skedaddle away. Feedback on that.

Someone said, yes, serenade me with some sweet Sean. How good is this banger? Someone said, what is Sean Paul saying? That's the great thing. One of life's great mysteries. Even in concert last year

at Friday Jams Live, it was very hard to work out what he was saying, but it was great. Even when he was talking to the crowd, he's like,

you're like, yay! I know, really. His accent was sick. It was bad because his mum had just had a bad car accident. It was like, yeah. His accent was sick. It was bad because he's like, his mom had just had a bad car accident. It was like,

we're all just like, yeah. No, don't make that noise. She's in the ICU. We're like, oh, oh. It's not looking so good. The chances are less than 50%. Sean Poole, yes. I love what you're saying.

Everybody stop doing that. I can't catch it. The curse of this catchy voice making these great number ones. I'm out. Nobody can be sad for me when I'm off. I see you. I see you. Stop it.

Stop it. She's on an ivy drip. Yay. Stop it. Okay it, stop it. She's on an ivy drip. Yay! Stop it. Okay, so good feedback, good feedback. I can just go, ma. Stop. Yeah, no, good.

Yeah, pretty good feedback. A couple of people with, you know, bad feedback, but that's, you know, that's the game, eh? That is the Friday flashback game. Well, that announcement, 9.30, you've got to be listening. Yep. You just. Megan needs a moment to compose herself. There is apparently a certain amount of dates that you can

go on, successful dates, before you should couple up, officially. And have that chat and say, well, what's happening here? You can't think of any of your dates. No, no, tomorrow, and she will never remember this, I'm the dates guy. Tomorrow, it's 14 years since I first met Sade.

Oh. And then in... That's at the Outback, where good things happen, Hamilton. Correct. At the Outback. Did you go on, after you met, did you go on, like, proper dates? No, because you spent ages harassing her on text, didn't you? Like I said before, wearing her down.

Sending her R. Kelly lyrics. Yeah, no, that was, no, so we met and then I had no connection and then I found out I did have a connection, made the connection, went on a few, like, dates. Yeah, and then maybe like a month after properly meeting and properly hanging out. So how many dates would it have been, hanging out? Do you reckon, roughly?

Well, I mean, she lived in Hamilton and I lived in Auckland. We only saw each other on the weekends. Oh, yeah. So maybe like three, four. And then you were like, let's just, this is us. She said, what time is it? She might be in the car. I'm going to roll the dice on this one.

She said, what do I tell my friends we are? Oh, that's a good way of bringing it up. Oh, yeah, that's classic. Yeah, and as I remember it, her saying, is it all right if I say that you're my boyfriend? But she tells me that never happened. I believe her. See, even I believe her. But my mind always tells me. Yeah, right. That that never happened. I believe her. See, even I believe her.

But my mind always tells me. Yeah, right. That that was said. Does your mind remember what you said to that? I remember trying to play it cool. Oh, yeah. Because I just thought, like, this was a limited time offer. Yeah, right.

And. Like when they do the McPork thing at McDonald's. Yeah, the McRib. Yeah, McRib. They're going to McRib. Yeah, McRib. Like, you was gonna have a couple and then just be like, actually, I don't like this. Like the McRib.

You have a McRib because you're excited about the McRib. And then you're like, actually, you know what? I didn't know. I know. That was just a thing I did at the time. The McRib. So I'm just going to go back to what I was doing, which was somebody else. Yeah, but I was the McRib that stayed on the menu. Okay, so four, what, five or so dates, you reckon?

Five or six? I would say, yeah, three or four. Okay. So the average number that you need to go on for, you know, like before you couple up with someone is apparently nine dates. Before you're official. Yeah. Before you know, like before you couple up with someone is apparently nine dates. Before you're official. Yeah.

Before you can be like, oh, hey, girlfriend, boyfriend date. And nowadays, nowadays, that would also mean deleting your dating apps too. When you're official. After nine. Well, yeah, because if you're official, then that's it. You've got to delete the dating apps. I'd find it weird if I was on, say, the 10th date with somebody, but they still hadn't made up their mind.

That to me would show that they were so indecisive. It's different now. Nine dates. That's just you and them, right? That's nine times. That's a lot of times to hang out with someone one-on-one and not having made up your mind whether or not you want to continue hanging out with them.

Because that doesn't include phone calls and texts and in between. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm agreeing, but I'm just saying it's now with the way dating apps are, people have a lot on the go. A lot similar. Are you just speaking for yourself? Yeah, I am. No, and it's well known that, you know, people will.

They'll have backups. Caitlin will back me up on this. But that's when you're dating though. Yeah, but you're still... How many dates? Like nine dates? No, yeah, nine dates doesn't seem like... That's not a lot. Oh, I thought you were going to say that too. With one person. Yeah.

To me, that doesn't seem like a lot. Because I've been on with like... Yeah, I've been on with that many and then afterwards I was like, oh nah. Really? To one person? Nine dates. Well, I'll tell you about it later but then Who was it? Signal.

You know Megan. Anya, you're just eating a yolk play if we could interrupt that for a moment. You could just give us your attention away from that bottle of yogurt for one moment. How many dates did you go on with your son until you decided to make it official? No, well, we were flatmates and we hung out a lot, just us two. And then we had a big night and then we were in a relationship the next day. Right, okay.

So you'd done the hanging out before the hooking up. Yeah. You'd done the date. You'd kind of done it in a weird order there. Yeah, it was weird. What about you, James?

How long? I'd imagine you'd be the sort of guy that would never really have the conversation. It would just be unspoken. Yeah, well, I was always said around my mates they were like,

you are like the epiphany. No, you are the definition of try before you buy because I spent probably 15 dates before I actually asked, I was like, so do you want to be my girlfriend sort of thing? We hung out heaps before this stage.

Could we take some calls and ask people how many dates it took to become official? Because there might be the cases where it's one or two or the extreme cases where it's lots and lots of dates. Yeah, exactly. Because you see each other so often, but nobody wants to ask. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, it was more or less official after two or three,

but it was never officially spoken about for significantly more. Okay, so how many dates was it until you had the Aoi exclusive chat? 0800 dials at M. Give us a text 9696FM. Wow, goodness me. We're talking about how many dates you went on before you had the chat about it being official. Because what was the study researchers found? It was nine dates on average?

Nine dates. Nine successful dates before you're ready to say boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. So how long did it take you? Maybe from one extreme to the other? Yeah. Some text messages in. Became official with my mister after three weeks of text dating. Met each other in the flesh two times.

Oh, okay. No, no, no, no. That's after. No, three weeks of text dating were official before they'd even met by the sounds of things. Met each other in the flesh two times, got engaged at the end of that month, married a few months later,

and been married 12 years now with four kids. Wow. Okay. I wasn't expecting that end bit. They just knew, obviously. But don't go official with someone until you've met them. Have you not seen Catfish? Yeah.

Like, hello? Yeah. Someone? Yeah. Someone said, two dates here. I had the first Tinder meet up, then the second date we watched the Rugby World Cup finalist flat. Celebrated and we've been together ever since. Three years and we've got a house. That's nice.

One blind date, engaged in two months, married in one year, ten years married. Wow, that's good. That's pretty quick, eh? Alex, how many dates until you had the chat? Well, it probably would have been about one or two. And was it you who brought it up? Oh, yeah, I believe so. The memory's a bit fazy, is it?

Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. It was like three years ago now, so. Oh, and so still going strong? No, we actually kind of broke up like three weeks ago. Oh. I didn't know. I kind of feel like because we kind of met on Tinder

and then we were having like three-hour long conversations before we actually met up. Right. So I kind of felt before we actually met up. Right. So I kind of felt like I already knew her. Right. Okay, you'd been on dates, you'd communicated enough that it felt like you knew them. Yeah, so you only really needed a couple in person

to kind of seal the deal. Exactly. Okay, and three years, that's a good run. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. All right, thanks, you're cool. Alex, Darby. I thought he was going to be like,

I want her back. Darby, now what's the deal with you and your partner? So we're a little bit different. The question was never asked. It just kind of happened instantly. Okay. I'd say we probably went on a couple of dates and we already felt like we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

So we had someone actually, a friend asked a question and said, hey, are you guys actually official? Have you asked each other to, you know, someone asked to be, you know, your boyfriend or girlfriend? And we looked at each other and we're like, oh, actually, we haven't asked the question. We're just... Together.

Yeah, we're just together and it naturally happened. Right. That seems to me like a glaring loophole, Darby. It's risky. For someone that, you know, you could just be like, well, I could sleep with this person because technically you're not going out. We never had the conversation. Yeah, see, that's what I thought.

Yeah, no. No, we've been together for one and a half years and he's the one. Well, you should just lock her. Just go home tonight and lock her in, Darby, just to make sure, you know. Yeah. Not saying he's like that, but, you know. No, we're very different. We didn't have to ask each other.

It was, yeah, we just knew. You know you know. These are always the ones, though, Darby. These are the ones you hear a bit on the TV shows. I just want you to just make it a Friday night priority, please. Don't rock the boat. I promise you, we're good, we're good. Okay, perfect. Okay, Darby Don't rock the boat. I promise you, we're good, we're good. Okay. Okay, great.

Okay, Darby, thank you so much. Jess, how many dates before you asked the question? So I asked after maybe 15. Okay. And he said not, not, not, no, but not yet. But why not, not yet after 15? Was he still seeing other people or he just... Oh, God, no, nothing like that. Well, God, I not yet. But why not not yet after 15? Was he still seeing other people or he just... Oh, God, no, nothing like that.

Well, God, I hope not. Well, he just wanted to keep that as his fire escape plan, did he? He wanted to... He didn't want to go, like, all official because then he didn't want to look silly if, you know, it didn't work out. It didn't work, yeah. Yeah, and, like, fair enough, but, I mean, like,

we've been staying together every night since, like, a week after we met. So, like, it felt way more intense. Yeah, see, he's going to look silly anyway. So, how, and so, did you ever have that chat, or is it still just going? Yeah, so after about 24, we finally made it to the official stage. Oh, that's good. Okay. Wow.

Would that be, thanks for your cool, Jess, would that be the highest number of dates before it became official? Someone said, I've been married for 15 years and we've never had this conversation.

Well, you're married now, you'll be extra often. I'll put it off the next week. Yeah, you've actually got that in a written contract. Yeah. Now. It's creepy when you say it like that.

A written contract. It's like this written contract. Well, you can't stay with me. Yeah, you've got to have that signature on written contract. Sign this written contract and stay with me. You've got to have that signature on that paper. Somebody said they were together for 15 months

before they had the conversation. That's a long time. Even if you're only going on one date a month, that's a long time to be doing it. 15 months of a big loophole.

Yeah. A glaring loophole. My partner and I were good friends for two years before we started dating. And we were friends and then one day it evolved into it and we kind of set it straight away. Yeah, right.

But then you'd known each other for two years, you'd done that situation. Four and a half years I've been with my partner and we've never had this conversation. Again. You just know. No, have the conversation. Yeah, just lock it in. Just in case. We're only looking after you. You know, you hear about wills. Yeah. You know, people are like, I don't need a will. Yeah, just lock it in. Just in case. We're only looking after you.

You know, you hear about wills. Yeah. You know, people are like, I don't need a will. But you do need a will. You do need to have this conversation. FVM. ZM. Just before we get to Fact of the Day,

we do have a couple of Fact of the Day pub quizzes coming up. There's one in New Plymouth. We'll be able to announce that when it's all officially locked in, but that'll be sometime in September. But the next Fact of the Day pub quiz is happening in Howick, in East Auckland, at Boson's, 6.30 on the 22nd of August. Just a couple of weeks. Just under a couple of weeks away.

So it'll start at 6.30, which should give you enough time after work. If you want to get a team together and register $1,000 prize money for the winning team, you can register at ZM Online. Right now it is time for Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day is the origins of the phrase to butter somebody up. To butter somebody up. To butter them up.

Like you'd grease them up, get them on sign. Grease them up. There's the same origins as butter them up. Okay. Butter them up. It comes from India. Okay. Hindu temples of India.

In order to seek divine favor, Hindu worshippers would throw balls of ghee, which is clarified butter, and a foundation of Indian cooking, by buttering up the gods. It was hoping that if you threw the ghee and it would hit the gods,

it would butter up them and you'd be getting peace and good harvests. But they'd also cover themselves in it. People would. No, they'd throw it at the, they'd throw it at the gods.

You're buttering up the gods because you want something in return. Like if you were to butter somebody up, you always do it in the hope that you're going to get something gods because you want something in return. Like if you were to butter somebody up, you always do it in the hope that you're going to get something back. I don't think throwing balls of fat at me would make me happy. But hey, whatever the gods turn to.

Is it good for your skin though? Is it like a coconut shea or butter? A shea butter. Is it a coca butter? I don't know. Coconut oil? It's just reminding me. I've got a body wash at the moment.

And it said coconut, so I'm in. Because you know I love coconut. But it smells more like, in Hark Back to Your Childhood, did you ever have butterscotch instant pudding? No, that was Grim AF. Oh, no, I loved a bit of butterscotch instant pudding. What brand is it? Is it like cocoa butter, though?

Ah, yeah. Shea? When you said shea Ah, yeah. Shea. When you said shea, cocoa butter. Shea butter. Shea butter. That's what it reminded me. Is it shea butter? I don't know how you say it. Shea butter.

Is it Irish? Is it like Karen? You know how Irish names never look actually how they're supposed to be said? Well, that's not cocoa butter. But it smells like butterscotch in some pudding. And every time I'm washing, I'm taken back to the Ohope Caravan Park in 1990 where I won the no hands instant pudding eating competition. And if I could chuck out a piece of advice.

Yeah. Now this is not for everybody, but what you got to do if it's no hands is get your nose in and actually snort the instant pudding up your nose. Yeah. You got to take a deep breath and there is a wild choking hazard.

Yeah. But that was me as a seven year old. You're blocking all of your airways with chocolate pudding. Well, butterscotch in this case as it happened. Butterscotch. And every morning when I have a shower, I'm reminded of that event. There was an eclipse that summer. Oh, my God.

And the Gulf War started. It was a weird. Okay. I got a lot of it. And they put me in a tire and they wound it up. It was one of those chain tyre swings with three chains on it and they wound it up and I was like,

no, you've got to let me off. And they didn't let me off. Oh, no, it's a different day to the instant pudding. Oh, that would have been a literal projector of vomiting. And then they spun me

and I don't know I've been dizzy ever since. Yeah, that's why you're always a bit scared when we drive through Ohope, aren't you? Yes. Well, you don't really

drive through Ohope, do you? Because it's, you don't really drive through Ohope, do you? Because it's kind of the end of the... Just any Ohope sign for just cowards. We turn off now. So today's fact of the day is the saying to butter somebody up comes from Hindu worshippers throwing balls of butter at their deities. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

This happened in New Zealand, okay? This is one of those stories that happens overseas, but this This happened in New Zealand. Okay. This is one of those stories that happens overseas, but this has happened in New Zealand. A Hawke's Bay man has got his name suppressed. Between December 2017 and his arrest in February this year, he filmed people who were staying at his homestay in the shower. He was hiding covert cameras. Yeah.

Small hidden cameras inside shampoo bottles and conditioner bottles and they were sitting on a shelf that would lead them to mostly record between the knee and the shoulder that's so is this like an airbnb it's called a homestay

is that like a b&b yeah it's a bit more like a B&B. Because you hear stories about people rigging up cameras at Airbnbs, but I've never heard one of those stories in New Zealand. No. Well, maybe nobody's just found the cameras yet. Maybe that's true. So we'd put the shampoo bottles in there with the cameras

and then remotely activate the cameras. Okay. And then stay up later than the person and then retrieve the shampoo bottles out and then obviously pull all the... Yeah, right. Had a hard drive full of videos

that he was then uploading to a website. Are you kidding? Yep. So how did he get caught? Did someone see their video? I don't know. Hey, I saw you on a porn site or something. Yeah.

And then they're undone. And then you can easily trace it back to where that could possibly have happened. That sounds like that guy, remember, that ran a motel and then there was a documentary on him recently. Oh my God, have you seen that on Netflix? It's an incredible documentary. I didn't see the last part of that series. Because of the statute of limitations in America, he can't be charged with any of that because it happened so long ago.

That's so weird. He came forward and did the big confession. Oh, it's a documentary. It's a one-off. I did watch the whole thing. Yeah, one-off doco. And so he had a motel, just like a real run-down crappy motel, like you see everywhere.

Like in the movies. And he had little ceiling space and holes in the ceiling that he'd look down. And he'd just walk along and he had a plank up there, a strong plank so he could walk around and just peek down into the little holes. He couldn't understand why people were outraged at it.

Yeah. He was like, oh, it's just my hobby. Yeah, it was my hobby. It was ages ago. Don't worry about it, guys. It was an incredible documentary. Yeah. So this guy, 34 people he filmed.

Wow. Jeez. Over that period of time. And yeah, obviously, that's a lot of trouble. So he's been sentenced? No, he's in... In court at the moment. Yeah, he's in court, but yeah, name suppression at the moment.

Well, he's going to jail, isn't he? You'd hope. Oh, you'd definitely hope so.