ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 13 2018

Episode Date: August 12, 2018

Caitlin dropped into some Fortnite in the weekend, curly questions from kids and does your partner have hot siblings?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. And no matter how hard Monday is to face, don't steal an aircraft from where you work. That was... So, is he dead? That whole story is...

Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. So, he's dead. Yeah. Because apparently he said... Someone said, how did you learn how to fly? I don't know if this was during the flying. And he said, oh, it's not that hard.

It's a lot like Grand Theft Auto. Like, said, oh, video games pretty much. So, he hadn't officially flown in a plane? They were saying that there was no record of him ever learning to fly or training as a pilot. And he's doing acrobatics. Well, he was great. So he could apparently,

the most he could ever do was get into the pilot seat and someone would tow the plane around and he could communicate, use the radio and maybe apply the park brake. Yeah. Wow. And then he heard the audio of the air traffic control. It's pretty chilling because he sounds like quite normal at times, but then he's also like suicidal and he's having, you know,

he's like, oh, well, I might as well. I'm probably going to go to prison for life. Probably just do another role and then nose down. Because what was he doing? Pretty full on. He was doing like turns. He was doing acrobatic moves. He was doing really intense things for that aircraft, eh?

So what was the point, though? Just a joyride? Oh, I think he decided he wanted to end it, sadly. Wow. Okay. But yeah, you can hear him. They've released the air traffic control audio. The whole thing's bizarre.

Wow. I think we're still going to have to put our ground crew in a plastic bag now when we go through the airport. Yeah, and they're not allowed to be over 100 mil. And the absolute most. The absolute most. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Three news headlines. Three stories that I found online that are interesting, unusual, quirky. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, true Aussie outback mystery. Headline two, traffic stop goes viral after man refuses to wind down window. And headline three, warm Dubai welcome for mum. Those are the headlines. Okay, so I'm not sure of one or two.

Two, fairly obvious. Yep. I haven't seen the footage though, but it sounds good. Refuses to roll down the window. Does it get smashed? Does it get tased? Yes. Right.

Congratulations. You've solved that story Yes Fantastic America There's the pieces to that puzzle Do you know three? Yeah

Is this the English woman Who got arrested in Dubai? Yes She had She believes she was arrested For enjoying the complimentary glass of wine On the plane Yeah

But you're allowed to do that. Yeah. Even though you're not supposed to do that in Dubai. Yeah, you're not allowed to drink in Dubai, are you? No. Well, in certain places, in public anyway. But then they offer it to you on the plane. Yeah.

And then they're saying, no, she swore it at an immigration official. So maybe locked up. Maybe there's more than one complimentary glass of wine indulged in there. But she's out. Right. The latest on that, yeah, when I read last night,

she was out and she was heading home. But it had cost her like tens of thousands of dollars and she said she didn't have access to anything for like two days. She was in a police cell. It was like pretty intense.

You're a boy, eh? It's a crazy place. So, okay, so... So, story one then. True Outback Aussie mystery. Yeah. This is intense. Oh, yeah. It's a crazy place. So, okay, so true Outback Aussie mystery. Yeah. This is a great story, guys. Okay. This is a great story. We go now to Larimer in Australia,

which is in the Northern Territory. Like on the map, it's like a centimetre down from the top. Like in the middle of Australia. In the middle between the peak and the... Yeah, like it's literally in the middle of Australia. In the middle between the peak and the... It's literally in the middle of nowhere. Okay. Now, 11 people live in this little tiny town,

Larimer. That's how small it is. 11? Yeah, and in the middle of nowhere. 11. But it used to be 12. Now, dusk was falling on a sweltering hot day, December 16, 2017. That's when Paddy Moriarty went to the Pink Panther, the only hotel and bar in the tiny, dusty town,

for his usual round of drinks. He downed eight beers. Typical. Jesus, what day of the week did you say this was? I don't know, December 16, whatever day that is. And 2017? It was typical, though December 16, whatever day that is. In 2017. It was typical, though, for Mr Moriarty. He's a labourer, and so he'd spend most of his day in the rugged outback.

And so he had his beers, he had his eight beers. He left the pub, and he left home with his dog by his side. He was never seen again, and nor was his dog, his Kelpie. Aliens. Of course he had his Kelpie. Aliens. Of course he had a Kelpie. So outback. So outback. Four days later when police arrived

in Larimer because I don't have a police person stationed there. Why would you? It's 11 people. I'm surprised they even had a hotel. They entered

his unlocked home to find a cowboy hat on a cooler box and a barbecue chicken still in the microwave. Now authorities suspect foul play and they've been treating the case as a homicide with every single person in town, all 11 of them, being probed for clues. Now they've got a few suspects. There's the

former Pink Panther bartender, one of the last people to see him alive, and a gardener who apparently had a little altercation, a fight with the day before. But at this stage, detectives have questioned every single person in this tiny town and they've got nothing. Nothing. They don't know where this guy's gone.

So still no body or anything? Nothing. And not the dog? Oh, I thought you were going to have an answer for us. And I thought it was going to be chicken related because you said when they went to his house there was a chicken in the microwave and you said it was foul play.

And I was like, here come the chicken puns. They also questioned the owner of a roadside tea house leading to morbid jokes about her filling the meat pies. That was just a joke. I think they did. I'm not sure if they should be joking about that I think they did Oh they shouldn't have

I'm not sure if they should be joking about that No no no They're not when you're a missing person Apparently the police have said They've got no clear motive For any of the 11 people That live in the town And they've got no idea where he is

How in What a mystery But also the dog as well Like Well yeah the dog's gone I know So how How far would it be

To walk to the next town? He hasn't just like gone wandering. Shouldn't take nine months. It's in the middle of nowhere. Oh, my God. Like crazy, eh? Aliens, do you think? It's been abducted.

Or just eaten by things. This is Australia, let's not forget. But then if he was eaten by a croc or a dingo or a snake or whatever, a platypus, there'd be like evidence around. What are there? And the dog would probably get away if it attacked him. You know? Yeah.

So what a mystery. What a mystery. This could be a Netflix special. This could be a great Who Knows It Netflix special. Or it could be a pretty boring Netflix special. Like there's no outcome. There needs to be an outcome, doesn't there? No, like, dramatic footage of... Yeah.

I feel, though, that some documentary makers need to go to the town and start now. And get on it now. Yeah, get on it now. It's fresh. Okay. Good luck. But yeah, so that's certainly a story to follow. Yeah, can you put up a Google alert for that? Because, like, I need to know what's happening there.

F.M. Forest fires are pretty bad at this time of the year in the northern hemisphere. It's this summer and I don't know how it keeps doing it because California seems to lose hundreds of thousands of hectares of forest fires every year. Every year it feels like a record amount of acreage has been lost to forest fires and houses. And then next year, same again. Exactly. It's the same stuff again. I know it's pretty quick growing trees, but I don't think it's that quick. And Greece, they've got more forest fires starting

because there was forest fires that made a big mess over there. The Swedish faced it earlier in the summer as well and is an ongoing threat. The Swedish actually tried something that now the US military are saying, maybe we should do this as well, fighting fires with laser-guided bombs. Bombs? Bombs.

Bombs? Bombs. So it actually just blows up the fire. Effectively, the guy said the easiest way to explain it is if there's a fire and you drop a bomb on it, it's like blowing out a candle on a birthday cake. Because a smaller one fuels the flame. Yeah.

But because it's so big and so sudden, it'll extinguish it. It'll blow it out. You hope. Yeah. Well, it worked for the Swedish. It worked for the Swedish. Yeah.

How many bombs do you have to drop? So one bomb, the exploding, they drop them from three kilometres and they want them to be really motoring by the time they explode. Right. They reckon about 550k an hour straight down. Right.

And it explodes before it hits the ground. And that causes the shockwave that blows it out. So there's no giant crater after this bomb? Um, there's a shockwave that blows it out. So there's no giant crater after this bomb? There's a crater. Right. But it's not as devastating as an entire forest burning down. Yeah, true. So a 220 kg bomb, which is a crazy weight,

that'll blow out flames for up to 100 metre radius. So 200 metre diameter, 200 metres across. So it's not, if the whole forest is on fire, but when it's at the early stages. Right. If they can target it, and they said they laser target right in the middle of the, you know, the fire, so that you get the best spread for your 100 metre radius.

And that's the best way to extinguish forest fires before they get out of control. That is so crazy. Who came up with that idea? Well, the Swedish are kind of... I guess it's been... It must have been witnessed. Right? Like, throughout history and World War, there would have been a fire and the

NX bomb put out the fire. And someone's like, well, that's peculiar. That's odd. And I guess just physics. Yeah. There must be some rules of physics. But, yeah, because I would have thought that it robbed the oxygen from the area. Like, it blew up. Yeah, right. And its explosion meant there was no oxygen,

so it would temporarily extinguish the flame. But they're just saying, no, it's effectively like blowing out a candle. Just the shockwave and the pressure is that much, it'll just extinguish it. That's madness. I need to see this happening now. Yeah, well, there is video of how they were handling it in the Swedish. It's obviously not right beside the fire because, A, there's fire,

and, B, there's a bomb about to go off. Yeah. But, yeah, they dropped them from right up. And, I mean, if any nation has the military capacity to do this. It's America. It's old guns-a-hoi America. They'd have bombs lying around. They wouldn't know what to do with that.

They're tripping over all these bombs. They can use the bombs to put out the forest fires. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Well, the foam clog or crock, as it's known, could be done for. It could be a sign of the times that the crock from the dizzying heights of just everything everywhere

and nurses and people that work in kitchens wearing them because they're comfortable to stand in all day, but never really looking that great, to being pink and green and orange and blue and red and then brown and black for formal occasions. The croc is on the way out. The last two manufacturing plants in Italy and Mexico are being sold off and 132 of the company's

530 stores will be closed by the end of the year. Apparently even the high-heeled croc which was revealed this year and sold out rapidly may not have been enough. Are you joking? No, I'm not joking. The Cypress V-Heel was described by Crocs as an elegant

design which offered a little extra top of foot coverage how many times did you get tagged in that Megan? all the time because you love your high heels don't you? just not Crocs

so they're still making they're still going to make them they're just outsourcing them they're not having their own factories anymore right so it'll just be more an online thing

yeah a lot online yeah that's it those are disgusting those are the heels comes in a range of colour they're purple there was a purple one with like a pink heel somewhere else. Be more an online thing. Yeah. A lot online. Yeah, that's it. Those are the heels. Comes in a range of colour. They're purple. There was a purple one with like a pink heel,

a pink insect. I feel bad now because like we always took the piss out of it but I don't want people to lose their jobs. You know? Yeah, but I don't think

we're personally responsible for it. Like when it was at Dizzy Young Heights was when we paid it the most grief. Yeah. It was an unstoppable machine. It's a horrible shoe.

It is. They even flew us to Rotorua that time. Do you remember? They did. They took us out to win our love. Like your step-mum. We still said you're not a real mum, but thanks. Thanks for the awesome day out in the helicopter.

It was a great day. It was a great day. It was very fond memories of that day. So the top six embarrassing things you can put on your feet in public now instead of Crocs. Okay. Six, those big scary animal feet slippers. Those are pretty great. Got some fake claws in them.

Wear those down to the supermarket. You'll get a couple of laughs. Not a good soul on those things. You don't want to wear them outside. All wet. Because the bottom has got those little grip beads on it. But there's often a lot of overhang. So that'll get wet.

It'll take forever to dry. Yeah. Just take forever. Number five on the list of the top six embarrassing things you can put on your feet in public now. Now, maybe you guys, I don't know, you all have seen these maybe. These are a real rural treat.

When you cut your gumboots down into like... Casual gummies. Sort of a casual van height gummy. Who does that? Like a low cut gumboot. I think it's when you get new gumboots. You cut off your old gumboots almost to be like a crock. Like a gummy high top rather than a...

Yeah. Like a red band. So it goes like full length, traditional red band. Right. High top. You can cut it down to a low. Would you wear those to the local BYO restaurant maybe? You would.

You'd kick them off at the door though. But leave your socks on. Right. But you can wear them with an ankle sock. Okay. Number four on the list of the top six embarrassing things you can put on your feet in public are free promo jandals from liquor store, from liquor outlets. I'm talking Corona.

I'm talking Woodstock, Bourbon and Cola. Cruiser, did they do a free jandal? I don't know. If they didn't, they missed a trick. Get in there. And they come in like a rectangle of foam and you've got to like pop them out. Yeah, classic. It's a sign of a good piece of footwear when you can pop it out of

the whole square of foam that it was cut from when you can pop it out of the whole square of foam that it was cut from. Number three on the list of the top six embarrassing things you can put on your feet in public. 1.5 litre slippers. This is where you cut a hole in a 1.5 litre bottle and you put your feet in it. If you just need to walk

on something but your shoes aren't there. Like water maybe? Yeah, true. Definitely. Cut a like water, maybe? Yeah, yeah, true. Yep, definitely. Cut a foothold on those and get in. Number two on the list, it's a symbol, it's a classic, and it's my father-in-law's go-to. The most embarrassing thing you can put on your feet in public. Number two, socks with jandals.

I was going to say. Jandals or sandals? Either or. Either or. Either or. The challenge with the jandal is pushing the sock hard enough to get it to retreat back between the two toes with the jandal stalkers.

That's not comfortable. No. Not at all. You'll be surprised what you can get used to. And the number one embarrassing thing you can put on your feet in public now instead of Crocs as they are slowly dwindling. Boat shoes. Boat shoes.

They came back though, Vaughn. Did they? Yeah. Boat shoes. Boat shoes. They came back though, Vaughn. Did they? Yeah. Boat shoes. No, I was never on board, pun intended, with the return of boat shoes. Okay. Never. Toss them overboard.

That's another pun intended. Probably should have gone for a second pun. That's today's top six. FEM. ZM. For me, it's beanie season at the moment. Bald brothers choose to celebrate their baldness in different ways throughout the year. Your hat.

247. It gets too hot in a beanie inside. Right. If I'm outside, I'm at the ski resort or the mountain. Yes. It's just too hot. It's too hot. But see, I'm beanie in the winter months and then hat in the summer.

Well, I bought a new hat, but I haven't had a chance to wear it yet. Okay. But I wore it on Friday night. I was hosting an event. This is like a haircut, Megan. A new hat. It is? Oh, yes.

Oh, it's like a new hairdo. It's like when you wear blonde. It's that big a deal to change up one's hat. And especially when you come to work and people don't notice. It really hurts. Is it like a different, it's not a cap? No, it's a black cap. Oh, okay.

But I've had a plain black cap for many, for a few summers in a row. Yeah. Well, when I was in Australia recently, I went into Culture Kings. I may have told you at the time, it was very loud.

You did. Man, it was loud. But someone said to me they had a really good selection of hats. Yeah. So I went in there and I was just looking at some hats. And I don't know what sport I was looking at.

Right. Because they had sports logos on them. Oh, yeah, okay. And then I find out I'm on the NBA section. Okay. Which stands for the National Basketball Association. Thank you. And they've got a range of teams.

And I don't want to buy like a big well-known team. Like the Lakers or the Bulls. People will ask me about what I think about LeBron going to the Lakers. I don't know. I think he's done great work opening that school. He's obviously a great dude. Well, he's a great guy if Trump's having a go at him. Yeah.

And he's standing his own on it. So I didn't want to go Lakers. I didn't want to go anyakers. I didn't want to go any of the big teams. And then I saw a team that for their logo had a deer. Oh yeah.

A stag. Yeah. And I'm quite a fan of stags. Yeah. They've been kind of scattered throughout my life. They're the Milwaukee Bucks. So I was like,

there's a team that I've never heard anybody passionately speak about. I'll be safe to buy the hat without having to engage in basketball chat. Right. Unless I go to Milwaukee. Just Googled it. speak about, I'll be safe to buy the hat without having to engage in basketball chat. Unless I go to Milwaukee. Just googled it, that's a nice

logo. That's why I liked it. Megan, have a look at that. Show Megan the logo. No, no, no, the one I got was all black and the logo on it's black as well, so you really have to look to see the logo. Okay. It's discreet. Hat. So... Oh yeah, I like this. So I got that

and I thought I'm going to wear this because the place where the event was at, I'm like, it's going to get too warm for a beanie. I really like this. Is it this one? I've just Google imaged. It's like that except the logo's black. Okay. Yeah. So it's like that. It's like it's just the Milwaukee Bucks.

It doesn't say Milwaukee Bucks and it's all black. It's pretty subtle. Doesn't work on the radio, me holding up the picture, does it? No. Imagine. Imagine a deer. And so I'm like, oh, this is cool. And Sade said, what's that? And I said, oh, it's Milwaukee Bucks.

She's like, never heard of them. I'm like, perfect. I'm not going to get basketball chat about it. And I just like it because it's a deer. And so I wear it on Friday night. And the first thing someone says to me within five minutes of being there is like, hey, bro, is that a Jagermeister hat? And I said, what do I think about it?

And he's like, the stag on your hat, that's Jagermeister, isn't it? Oh, my God. And I was like, oh, fuck. Now people think I'm wearing a Jagermeister hat. Nothing wrong with Jagermeister, but I wouldn't wear a Jagermeister hat. No, but also people think you got it for free. Totally. Because nobody buys a Jagermeister hat. It doesn't also people think you got it for free because nobody buys a Jägermeister hat.

It doesn't say Jägermeister on it, and it's different, but I could totally, like, immediately the minute the guy said it, I was like, damn it. Yeah, and do you know the Jägermeister deer has more antler. More antler. More antler. And he's got a cross in the middle of his antler and a circle around him. Yeah.

But to the untrained eye, you're wearing a Jägerme. You could be wearing a Yassima Yassi hat. It could have been worse. Someone could have thought it was like a promotional Lion Red hat or something. If it had been a lion. If I'd gone for the Lannister family crest suddenly on the hat, they could have thought it was a Lion Red. Yeah. Has that ruined it for you then?

A little bit. Because then I was like, oh no, it's Milwaukee Bucks. And he's like, oh, you like the bit because then I was like, oh no, it's Milwaukee Bucks. And he's like, oh, you like the NBA? And I was like, oh no. And he's like, what did you think of their last season? And I was like, I don't know, man. I just like Dez. And he was like, he literally said

fraud. And I was like, wow, that ruined the hat more than the Jagermeister thing. So now I have to learn, I like the hat so much, I'm going to have to learn about the team. This is when I liked, this is when I like the hat so much I'm going to have to learn About the team Yeah This is when I liked This is when I watched The Wire And then I learnt

Their local football team Baltimore Ravens And I liked A raven thing Because it's a bird And then someone Wanted to talk to me About the Baltimore Ravens

I'm like what Don't talk to me About American sports I can't even keep up With the ones we've got here So now I have to learn About the Milwaukee Bucks so I can wear the hat

and not be completely side-quartered in the crossfire with any question. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices.

A segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to the local Facebook pages of New Zealand. And we always encourage you to be part of this. And thanks to everybody who sends in community notices.

Even the ones, there's, okay, here's a little secret I've come to know. There's a guy and he's got a Facebook page set up. And what he does is he just belongs to heaps of community notices and he posts fake things on community notices. Oh, does he? Oh, really? Yeah. Okay.

And I don't think it's an effort to get on this segment, but a lot of his efforts are sent in, but it's just purely trolling the admins of community pages. I can see how that would be fun to pass the time. Have you ever seen a sex toy washed up on the beach and someone asking what kind of fish is this? It's probably him. Okay. Oh, okay. It's probably him. Does he have more than that joke? No, it's of fish is this, it's probably him. Okay. Oh, okay.

It's probably him. Does he have more than that joke? No, it's pretty limited to that sort of thing. Right, okay. That sort of thing. Let's go to the Rangiora Vet Centre where they have listed

found. Okay. An elderly de-sexed male has been found in a barn. Oh, great dad. Exactly. Not listing what guy, what species. He's microchipped.

Please help us get this man home. And then has his microchip number. And the best part is someone's tagged in their grandma saying, is Grandad at home. Brilliant. I never got to the bottom of what kind of animal. Yeah, right. That was.

While we're down in the South Island, let's pop down to Queenstown. We're on the Queenstown page. Hannah has written, does anyone know of any rooms going in Queenstown ASAP? Turns out none of my housemates know how to have a laugh. Oh, no. I need to know what happened. Please tell me. I can tell you.

Yeah, because Grace comments, and Grace must have been one of those housemates. Are you effing serious, Hannah? You shit on the kitchen floor for God's sake. That is not what I was expecting. Not what I was expecting either, no. Well, that's the thing about community notices. Expect the unexpected. Okay, she's not getting a flat anytime soon.

This one in the Wairoa buy and sell page. V writes, just letting everybody know there's a goat running down Lahore Street. Oh, okay. People are like, lol.

And somebody else put up a photo of a goat running down the street saying, is this the same one? Someone said, well, I hope there's not two goats loose on Lahore Street.

But yes, that looks like the same goat. Okay. It's just a rogue goat, boosting it down the street. So I don't know if you're in Wairoa and you've lost a goat. This one from the Wedding Discussion Group. While this isn't, you know, a local community page, it is a community of people who are organising or specialise in weddings.

Yeah. Grace writes, quick question, if you rip up your wedding certificate Do you need a replacement Or could it just be Sellotaped back together Someone got a bit heated In an argument Didn't they

It's over Trevor That's a passionate Pre-wedding argument That ends in Fine then You'd need to get another right Yeah I'd say so

Just like I'm gonna need Another plan for the show, Caitlin, because I just ripped mine up for dramatic effect. It's very nice. Put that in recycling, please. Don't worry about it. I don't really read this too often. Caitlin's not in the mood. She's had a big weekend.

What do you mean you don't read it? Fletch takes care of it. Yeah, Fletch tells him what to do. Remember Fletch always says, like, coming up next, blah, and then I forget, and then he looks at me like, and I have to panic and try to scramble through my memory of what we were, what I was told. I can't be bothered with that. It happens every

day. It's a fun wee game we play. This one from the Bluff community page. Now, we don't hear it, we don't hear from Bluff. No. We don't hear it right down there on the bottom of the island, do we? Yeah, no. Bottom of the South Island. It's a picture of a blue Toyota Altiza, a car. And it said, this was stolen from Bluff.

It has to have had the ignition ripped out, as I have the only key. It's a 1999 Toyota Altiza, sacked out, but it's got a slow leak and both pack tyres. Don't know why. It's got blue nail polish on the inside. Where? I don't know.

Maybe just inside the same colour. You're about to find out why they keep blue nail polish on here, Megan, because it has the word slut keyed in three of the panels. And it shows the panels with slut keyed in it. Yep, one of them's quite large and quite aggressive. The other two are more of a can you slide into the car? So they use the nail paint to paint over whenever they

obviously. Was it a good match? The nail polish to the paint job? Not great. If it was just driving past you probably wouldn't see it but if you're walking past at the Pack and Save Car Park you'd be like oh somebody's been a slut or in somebody's opinion. So whoever has my car it's your best option to drop it off at, including message.

Or message me and let me know that you've got it. I'll report it stolen tomorrow morning. It went missing two days ago. How understanding is that? Yeah. I'll give you a window of opportunity. Just message me. Just let me know.

Just let me know where the car's at. But yeah. And this one from the Otago Flatting Goods page, Henry wants everyone to know he's got 20 litres of barbecue sauce for sale. Okay. And in the description, slaps top of container,

this bad boy can fit so much barbecue sauce in it. This is a perfect gift for that greedy flatmate who always finishes off the last of your communal condiments or the sauce connoisseur in your life. For the low price of $50, all they offer you and your flaters will be sourced for life. Look, it is like a huge thing of sauce. It's even got one of those taps in it. Oh, wow.

Okay, yeah. It's a lot of barbecue sauce. Where did they get that from? See, I could do one of those. That's definitely stolen from some sort of catering outfit, Megan. You'd imagine so. I would say so. See, I want one of those, but sweet chili.

I'd go through one of those in about two months. But that's the problem. If you get a big thing of sauce, you get through it so quickly. Yeah, true. And finally, it was sad news yesterday. The People's Independent Republic of New Brighton, who have officially, you know, broken away from the rest of New Zealand. Yep.

It was sad news. This has been in the news as well. Two cows washed up on the beach. Dead. And do they know how they got there? No. Mystery so far. I mean, they should be able to track them down if they're tagged correctly,

but they may not be. But Eve uploaded a photo of a cow on the front of a payloader picking up the dead cow going, guys, just let you know the diggers arrived to remove the dead cow. And included in that picture is a picture of a dead cow that not everybody on the community page wanted to see

but it's been remedied. It's been dealt with. Grim and I definitely didn't know how those got there. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page

screen cap it and send it to ours FEMZM. FEMZM. We want to talk about when you've had a curly question from a kid because Kim Kardashian

went on a radio show and they asked her what curly question she's had from North, who is now five years old, and she said she's had one just recently. And I'm like, we have a TV show. We have a TV show. And she was like, oh, okay. And, you know, that was the first time when she was like, oh.

Do you think North has more money than us? She asked how she got famous. Why are we famous? Why are we famous? How'd you get famous? We have a TV show. Yeah, which, I mean, it's not lying. Well, you're not going to tell you. How old is she?? We have a TV show. Yeah, which, I mean, it's not lying. Well, you're not going to tell

you. How old is she? Five. I had this video. His name's Ray J. And he's not your father. No, he's not, but we did some things. Yeah, but she's going to have no doubt more questions for her

as she gets older. Yeah. Because how, they're going to find out, hey, eventually. One day soon. Yeah. I'd say middle school, like intermediate age. I never even thought about that because some kids will say. That's how she'll find out, not just Googling. Yeah.

Mum's Wikipedia. Would it be better to tell the kid the truth or just let them find out from someone else? I don't know. Oh, God. I thought she answered. Good luck with that. Yeah, I mean, it's not a lie.

It's not a lie? Yeah. That is. And I mean, technically her parents are already kind of famous anyway and well known. Yeah, her dad was well known after the OJ trial. Yeah. But I mean, it really was a sex tape that started it all. How did she specifically get famous?

Kickstarted it too. Getting a TV show. Was that a sex tape that started it all. How did she specifically get famous? Kickstarted it too. Getting a TV show was that their sex tape with Roger. So we want to know when you got a curly question from a kid. It's just part and parcel. You get asked about words, right? So August, when they name things, Indy gives them actual names. She used to make up words for names, but she gives them actual names. Like she named something at the weekend, Toby.

Just a nice name. And then August named something and she named it Cock. Okay. And I said... That's such a harsh word to say. She said it with more of a Q sound on the end. Like C-O-Q. Yeah, that's how I played it as well.

I was like, oh, careful where you say that name. And then that's like, because they know about-Q. Yeah, that's how I played it as well. I was like, oh, careful, careful where you say that name. And then that's like because they know about bad words. Yeah. And they know that it's fun to say them. Yeah. And you can't laugh, right? Because that encourages them. Well, you're not supposed to, but you can.

And I said, oh, careful how you say that. And she's like, why? What does it mean? I said, well, it can mean two things. The French, that's actually what they call roosters. And they said, oh, because of the cock-a-doodle-doo. I was like, correct. Isn't that their football team?

They've got the... But the other way that could be taken is kind of like a bad word. Why? Why is it a bad word? What does it mean? And I was like, um, it's let's just leave it at the stage. We'll just leave it at the fact that it's a bad

word to use in certain situations. So maybe we'll go with Toby and we won't go with Lechow for the other name here. We'll get another name like Susan. Did that stop them saying it? No, they loved saying it thereafter. Oh, wow. Okay. One of those ones where I was like, I'll give you a period of grace to say this word

and then this word's got to stop. Right. So hopefully today at Kindy there's not sort of like a game where le hoch is used about the place. Well, we want to know when you've had a curly question from a kid. Okay, so 0800-9666. And I guess it doesn't even, you don't even need to have kids, really.

You could have just been dealing with a kid. Yeah. Your niece and nephew. Yep. Because then you're like, oh, ask your father or your mum. I'm not answering that. Well, that's a perfect opportunity to say that, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, you've got to ask your mum or your niece and nephew. Because then you're like, oh, ask your father or your mum. I'm not answering that. Well, that's a perfect opportunity to say that, isn't it? Oh, you've got to ask your mum or your dad about that one.

Yeah, it's like mum and dads get to tell you that. Yeah. But maybe you've just been out in public and the kids just ask you a curly question. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, not a kid that literally you met two seconds before they asked. That's the other good thing about kids. All right, 9696 to text 0800DARLS at M.

We're talking about curly questions from kids after Kim Kardashian was asked by her five-year-old daughter, why are we famous? Where if you follow the history of the Kardashians, you'll know it's because of a certain home movie. Yes. Shot around 2000. When was that?

2005? Oh, I don't know. 2004? Yeah. Go into the annals of the internet, Megan, and search through that. The what?

The annals. The history. Yeah, careful not to say that word. What topic am I supposed? But she answered it pretty diplomatically. I mean, as you would

for a five-year-old. Just said, oh, you know, we're on TV. Yeah. But we want to know the cooler questions you've been asked by kids. Some questions, somebody said,

my son asked me in the middle of the supermarket at quite the volume if I knew what a scrotum was. Oh, wow. I just ignored him and he said, mum, mum. We'll talk about it in the car. You so do. I'll explain it. But that's the problem is kids don't forget.

Like, they're waiting. You forget. If you're an adult and you're like, okay, you can't forget this, can't forget this, can't forget this, you forget. But a kid says something once and you're like, we'll talk about it later. They'll never forget that you've scheduled in a chat about that. It's best to answer. Yeah.

Somebody else said, my sister has two kids and my niece asked her what horny meant. My sister fumbled her way through it and ended up saying, it's what happens when you want to have kids. And so my niece replied, niece asked her what horny meant. My sister fumbled her way through and ended up saying it's what happens when you want to have kids and so my niece replied, oh, I'm horny then. Oh, didn't think that through. No, no.

Natalie, what was the curly question you got from a kid? Hiya, so it wasn't actually me, it was my sister. So I'm a teacher and she was parent helping with me on this trip. Yeah.

And we were at the lake and we were looking at these cute little, what are they called, like little baby swans, little duckling things. And this massive bird just swooped down and ate one whole. And obviously all the kids were like, what's happened type of thing. And my sister sort of had to try and explain to them like in a nice way that that's sort of just a cycle of life, like it's just an Eden hole, like... Oh, my God, I'd find that traumatic.

Yeah, I think it was a little bit, but I think she handled it really well, so kudos to her. A circle of life. All the kids go home wondering if they're going to be swooped up by a giant bird or a giant human. Thanks, you called Natalie. Lindsay, what curly questions did you get from a kid? My daughter heard an ad on the radio for peaches and cream.

The radio's got a lot to answer for. And then a cute little voice said, Daddy, you've got lots of adult toys, don't you? And we went quiet thinking, oh my God, what's she going to come up with? And she goes, you've got a digger and a truck and a motorbike. And then she goes, Dad,

it's really unfair that you don't let Mum use your adult toys. I'm sure if she had some, you could use them. And Mum's quiet in the front seat going, Mum's got some adult toys. And he does want to use them, but not yet. Save that for middle age. All right, thanks, Nicole.

Hannah, what curly question did you get from a kid? When I was a nanny in London, I was asked by my seven-year-old kid that I was looking after what a threesome was. Jeez. Okay. Did you answer? by my seven-year-old kid that I was looking after what a threesome was. Jeez! Okay. What did you... Did you answer? Oh, that was definitely an ask your mum kind of question.

Where are they... Because that's often when kids ask these questions. My initial question is, where did you hear that? Like, where have you got this from? Yeah, he said school, and he sort of had a bit of a, I don't know, evasive kind of look about him. So he wasn't really going to answer my question,

but I wasn't really going to answer his either. Yeah. Oh, bliss. Yeah, but he did ask mum and mum said it's when one person loves another person very much and another person. All at the same time. All at the same time. All at the same time. She just took a standard relationship response

and how babies are made and then added another person, which I suppose is exactly what it is. Hannah, thank you for your call. Some other text messages in. My six-year-old daughter asked me in front of people how babies were made. I said, it's been so long, I can't actually remember how. She was like, oh, that's no good.

My four-year-old daughter asked me why I decided to grow fur under my nose. I'm a female. Now I wax under my nose. Well, at least she gave you a heads up, you know? Yeah. And the most kid... You want to hear that from a loved one.

My partner's an amputee. Whenever at the supermarket, we always hear kids asking questions like, what happened to that man's leg, daddy? One dad said, that's what happened when you don't eat your vegetables. Which is great. That's something my parents would have said.

I would have been happy as an amputee to be, you know, contributing to a kid actually eating their dinner. Yeah. I recently shaved my head for Shave for a Cure for cancer. And my niece asked me how I'm a boy with boobs and a girlfriend. It was all very confusing. She just thought short hair equaled boys, so.

Yeah. That was easily explained. Right. Fletch. Vaughan. And Megan. The podcast. It's a, what would you call it, a cultural hotspot of Wellington.

The bucket fountain I'm speaking of. Oh, yeah, that's an absolute icon. It is. Cultural hotspot of Wellington. The bucket fountain I'm speaking of. Oh, yeah, that's an absolute icon. Landmark. It is. Installed in 1969. That's how long it's been around. Wow. So it's old.

At the time, people called it absurd and a monstrosity and a waste of money. So that means next year it'll be its 50th, will it? Yeah. It's 50th birthday. And it's a party. Wow. That's amazing. I hadn't even thought of it in those terms. Yeah. It's 50th birthday. And it's a party. Wow. That's amazing. I hadn't even thought of it in those terms.

Yeah. It's been there for 50 years. Well, at the moment, it's out of commission after being vandalised. Again. At the weekend. Yeah. I don't want to point fingers, Vaughan. What were you doing at the weekend?

Me? You were in Auckland, weren't you? I was in Auckland, yeah. Yeah. I've got alibis. Who was swanning around Wellington late at night in the early hours? I wouldn't say swanning, but I did go past the bucket fountain. I'd say hanging around Wellington.

Loitering. Off the bucket fountain. When I last saw it on Saturday, it was working. Okay? It was still going. People were enjoying it. It nearly splashed me. It was fine.

Well, it's out of commish due to vandalism. What did they do like, spray painted it or? I don't know if they got a bucket off or wrecked one of the crucial buckets. Yeah, because it all works together, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Some hooligans climbing on it.

I heard it described in the most unusual manner yesterday as like a water mobile. No, water mobile. What do you call it? Like a, you know, you put it above a baby's cot and it spins around. A mobile?

Yeah. A mobile. Yeah. A mobile. Something. Like a water version of that and I never really thought of it like that before.

Yeah. I thought of it more like water chimes, like wind chimes, but it's the water that moves it around. Yeah. Well, anyway,

it's been vandalised. Yeah. What are we going to around. Well, anyway, it's been vandalised. What are we going to have to do here? Because it keeps getting vandalised. What are we going to have to do? Do we have to put something around it? An electric fence. Do we have to put it in its own perspex tube? You know how far that splashes.

Water and electricity. I know. It will make for a lethal mix. Yeah, somewhat what of a light show. A deterrent. A big old deterrent. I don't know, what are you like? Yeah, electrify the water then,

because even if you weigh in it, you'll get a shock. Straight up the urine stream, yeah. Elijah Wood. I was going to say Orlando Bloom, but no, it was Elijah Wood. Orlando probably whittled in it as well. How many a person has whittled in their bucket fountain? Oh, yuck. And put detergent in.

Does it detergent up? Probably not asled in the bucket fountain. Oh, yuck. And put detergent in. Does it detergent up? Probably not as much as an actual fountain. Not as much as like the Mission Bay Fountain in Auckland. People like doing that. There's one in Hamilton by Founders Theatre that looks like, is it dandelions that you blow and they? Oh, yeah. The fountain was designed to look like that.

So it creates a fine mist spray. And of course, that's just absolute beauty when you pour dishwashing liquid in and it really foams up. Certainly not encouraging doing that. Oh, I would not encourage it. Just talking about past... It's almost like one day a year the council need to say, okay, we're shutting it down to clean it, change the water and everything,

so what we're going to do is we're going to run bubbles. Yeah. Come and have a gawk if you want to see it run bubbles. But then does that take some of the fun out of it? Yeah, it does. Because it's like... Yeah. Yeah, it's not spontaneity, you want to see it run bubbles. But then does that take some of the fun out of it? Yeah, it does. Because it's like... Yeah. Yeah, it's not spontaneity, is it?

It does, yeah. It's planned. It's planned. Well, if you're a little upset and wondering why the bucket fountain isn't fully functioning, that is why. And it wasn't me.

And it wasn't Megan. So she says. With Love Island coming to an end, that was kind of what kick-started this. Megan and Caitlin were looking for a way to spend their time. It's got the loading menu music here. And had heard James and I speaking so highly of Fortnite

and Fletcher's one foray into Fortnite, which ended disastrously. And he's been too scared to step foot on the island again. People keep messaging me on Instagram saying, hey, drop in, drop in with us. I'm just like, I'm all right. I don't need to be teased. I don't need to be teased. I don't need to be teased. And I know what you're doing.

You're getting a shit player so you can feel better about yourselves. I know your game, you people. That's the idea. Exactly. That's the idea. I'm that guy. You don't want to be the worst on the team. I'm the loser.

Oh, babe. Unless you can get a team of champions, you just don't want to be the loser on the team. Exactly. That's how it works. So, Caitlin on Friday night, she dropped in with the boys. Was she worse than me? Well, you've played PlayStation and stuff before. Yeah.

You know, I was actually really impressed with how she came to... When I joined, she'd already been playing a little bit with James and had maybe gone through the basics of the controls, but I was quite impressed with using the, you know, one of the jewel sticks for looking around and one for moving. That can take a little bit of getting used to. Please use my Fortnite name, Katie No Haiti. Katie No Haiti.

Oh, God. She had a build on. We dropped into the playground to teach her, you know, the ins and the outs, the basics. Right. Of how it works. But at the moment, I would say this Boys vs Girls Challenge is signed, sealed, and yet to be popped in the post to be delivered.

Okay, that was, I had one try. I've been practising over the weekend. Megan hasn't even started yet. You wait till she comes in. Look at her. Yeah, mean Magoos. Look out. Mean Magoos. I haven't actually signed into it. I got killed by somebody at the weekend, Megan hasn't even started yet. You wait till she comes in. Look at her. Yeah, mean Magoos. Look out. I haven't actually signed into it. I got killed by somebody at the weekend and their username was Magoos

something and I was like, what? But then I realised you were still in Wellington so I was like that won't be her. But for a minute I was like, uh oh. Because my name's just Warren Smith so if you killed me you definitely know. No mistaking that. Okay, so you've even still got to make a username.

Yeah, well, I'm hoping I can get me Magooz. Okay. Oh, yeah, if it's taken. I hope you've got a couple. We'll just add an NZ or a 69. 007. 007. It was quite stressful, though.

Is it? Vaughn shot me right in the face. Weren't you on her team? No, because I switched. In Playground, you can choose to be on So I just thought I've got to put her in a little bit more of a real world situation So I donned the bush I donned the bush

You got in the bush and he hunted us He hunted Katie and I You see this running tree and you're like what's happening And then he comes up and shoots you in the face How were you hiding if you could see the tree running? No with the bush and then you stop and you crouch And it just looks like one of the many bushes. So I snuck up behind Caitlin as a bush and then crouched.

And she was just kind of going, James, where are you, James? I can't find you, James. I was like, Caitlin, is there a bush behind you? And she turned around, boom, right in the face. And she screamed. I was trying to, it's like a lot because you've got to try and get all your different weapons and then I always, I can't,

I haven't mastered running yet so I'm running on the side like I'm doing like a side step. A strafe. Maybe that'll be my strategy. Maybe I'll just hide in a bush and then like shoot at the end. Oh, there's a lot to be said

about hiding in the bush. No, you can hide in the ordinary bushes but they don't move with you and then you run from bush to bush. Where do I find a moving bush? You put the bush on and you get out of and then you'd run away you put the bush on and you get out of like a chair you put the bush like a merkin like a fake bush okay do we have a date for the because you're going to need another week or so of training yeah i'm going to

come to yours tonight and go so you can drop in you know you can drop in at your house and she can drop in at her house no she can drop in at her house. No, I want to be with her because it's fun. You know everybody playing Fortnite isn't all at one person's house. Yeah, no, I know. Because you're getting tutoring. Kelsey. Kelsey's tutoring you.

Kelsey 007's tutoring us. Yeah. Well, she's got James Bond's number, so you know that she's serious. Serious, yeah. There's a seven-day detox that I want to talk about right now because I think we should all do it, especially millennials, because 52% of millennials said they can't even go to sleep knowing they have an unread notification on their phone.

Like if you knew you had a bubble. Yeah, but that's just... What about these? I mean, that's just... No, I couldn't either. It's annoying. Like you see your phone, you're lying in bed and you see your phone light up and you're like, oh, I've got to check that.

And you check it and you're like, oh yeah, you don't have to reply, but you have to know what it is. It could be urgent. I don't have that. I see it light up and I'm like, nah. Oh no, I'm with Vaughn. I'm with you, Vaughn. I've got to know what that is.

Stop it. I'll be like, you can wait. I am sleeping. What about those people though that have notification bubbles 24-7 because they don't, like, clear them? Oh, no. They're horrible people. I couldn't even go to sleep like that.

Yeah. When you go to your, like, parents, do you see that? Do their phones... My dad has, like, 500 emails and, like, 32 texts. I'm like, these texts could be important. He's like, oh, I don't know how to use it. I'm like, oh, good Lord. Like, texts and emails.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's not okay. So 60% of those surveyed as well said they can't even go one minute without checking a notification on their phone because it causes them stress. So this is a digital detox diet. So nothing even to do with eating, this detox. Okay, good.

It's broken down into seven days. Let's see how far we can go because it's got exactly what you have to do on eating, this detox. Okay, good. It's broken down into seven days. Let's see how far we can go because it's got exactly what you have to do on each day. So the idea is you try this for seven days and see how life feels. Yeah. See if you're feeling better. Less stress, less anxiety.

Let's see how far we can go before you have to opt out. Day one is the app purge. Delete 10 apps right now. No, I need every single app on my phone. I'm not one of those people that has 100 apps. Day one is the app purge. Delete 10 apps right now. No. I need every single app on my phone. I don't have, I'm not one of those people that has 100 apps. I have the bare minimum.

I've got heaps of apps I don't use. That one where you point and look at the airplanes in the sky. That's not necessary. I used it the other day. That's great. Because we were wondering what plane it was. Well, do you imagine, oh no, because he wasn't on record, I was going to say that guy that stole that plane in Seattle at the weekend

and was doing loop-de-loops in one of those ones you fly to Rotorua in. That was an unscheduled flight. Yeah, I know. Yeah, exactly. You couldn't attract him. So that's day one. Day two is grey for a day. So say goodbye to colour and put your phone in greyscale.

I heard Brianne Glynn talking about this. It's because it makes your phone less appealing because it's grey. You're just like, ugh. It's not colourful. It's dre it makes you, it makes you finally appealing because it's grey. You're just like, ugh. It's not colourful. It's dreary. And you can't look through and even Instagram's grey

and everything's grey and you're like, oh, okay, I'm not into this. Yeah, it's interesting. Okay, so that's day two. Day three, the 24 hour notification fast.

Turn off all notifications including texts and emails for an entire day. So after you've done the day, you can turn it back on. So you have to go into them to see it rather than be notified that something's there. Yeah. Because that's how they get you, don't they, the notifications?

You get a little notification. And even now, Facebook will notify you about stuff you don't even care about. Yeah. The one that, on Facebook, it's like, oh, 18 people are interested in events near you. And it's like, but Auckland's like a big-ass place. Anywhere's got events on all the time. But that's how they get you into the app. The next one is day four, the storage war.

Free up storage by clearing five gig of media, including photos, videos, and texts. What's the idea there? I don't know. Yeah, because I don't spend any time Really going through Photos and stuff But maybe people do They go through their gallery

Right Yeah Day five is the 16 minute rule Only check your phone once an hour And when you do You have a time limit A maximum of 10 minutes Once an hour

10 minutes Go by it's pretty quick Yeah It does yeah Okay Day six is sleep separation You set your alarm before bed And you put your phone completely

out of reach until the morning. I don't know if they'll do that anyway because then they have to get up out of bed to turn their alarm off. Yeah, that's what gets them up. And the last day is the minimalist home screen. This is day seven. So clear your home screen of every app and leave only

text, email and your phone and then put everything else in a single folder on your second page. Look at Paul's face. I don't like the look of that. The trouble is with this detox thing is we don't want to. In order to do any of these things, you've got to want to. We don't think we've got a problem, and we like looking at Instagram and stuff,

so, like, why would you? Yeah, and I'm not smoking crack. What if every minute I was looking at Instagram, I was smoking drugs? It's a victimless crime. Or murdering people. Yeah. Or planning genocide.

Okay. These are all things worse than being dependent on modern technology. Alright, well if you did fancy a week off, it's the digital detox diet. Yeah. Kanye's got a new song, Ecstasy, and a lot of people are calling the lyrics

sick. So he, some of the lyrics say, you got sick thoughts, I got more of them. You got a sister-in-law you would smash I got four of them so I don't know like I don't know what Kim

she would have heard it and I don't know they're pretty close maybe she doesn't think much of it because she knows her sisters are hot maybe it was those

lyrics that caused her remember she had to go at Courtney saying she was plain to look at you're the least interesting to look at yeah you're the least interesting to look at

yeah I don't know but yeah and then the lyrics plane to look at. You're the least interesting to look at. Yeah, you're the least interesting to look at. Yeah, I don't know. She's hot. And then the lyrics go on to talk about a spa pool. Spending time in a jacuzzi. They need a bigger hot tub. But then if your partner's hot, then obviously if they've got a sibling, they're probably going to be hot too, right? Oh, not always.

Not always. Like, you look at me. Oh, Wayne. Wayne Pitt. Was it Dwayne? Dwayne. Is it something really funny? Is it Dwayne Pitt?

I can't remember, but he's like... It's not. He's real sweet. Brad Pitt's brother. He's real sweet. Megan, that's like saying something... Doug Pitt. Doug Pitt.

Doug Pitt. Doug Pitt. I mean, he's like not a bad looking man. If your last name's Pitt, you don't make the first name the verb of making a pit. I mean, he's like not a bad looking man. If your last name's Pitt, you don't make the first name the verb of making a Pitt. Do you? Well, he's obviously got a great sense of humour in the family. You've got to think about how it teams up.

Like if Smith's your last name, you don't give them the first name Black, Smith, Goldsmith. Anything to do with Smithing. He's a goodwill ambassador and he's a philanthropist. He's a good man. He's a good guy. He's a goodwill ambassador, and he's a philanthropist. He's a good man. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Doug Pitt. And he's a good-looking man. He's just not Brad Pitt.

What's his middle initial? Is it A, Doug R. Pitt? That would be pretty great. Let me click through and see if you've got his. He's handsome as. He's, yeah, he is. I don't mean it doesn't help his brother's Brad Pitt, so that's like, you know, you're already competing against. No, I don't mean it doesn't help his brother's Brad Pitt, so that's like. Yeah.

You know, you're already competing against. No, I can't find his middle name. Oh, Douglas Pitt brother, William Bradley. Nah, no. Nah, can't find the middle name there. Sorry about that. Someone will be able to dig a little deeper into the Doug situation and find out that one. But yeah, it doesn't always happen.

Douglas Mitchell Pitt. Mitchell. Mitchell. Douglas Mitt Pitt. Mitchell. Mitchell. Douglas Mitt Pitt. Doug Mitt Pitt. Douglas Mitt Pitt. Doug Mitt Pitt. Doug Mitt Pitt.

Oh, no. Doug Mitt Pitt sounds like somewhere on your Vietnam, Kentucky, that you'd be stopping for the night. Yeah. We're going to Ho Chi Minh, but on the way we're stopping at Doug Mitt Pitt. We're going to tube down a river. We need to start this name business

where people run their names through our filter. Oh, 100%. You wouldn't be upset if you were with Doug Mitt Pit because he's still a Doug Pitt and I'm imagining you don't call him Doug Mitt Pit. Yeah. Dougie. Dougie Pitt. So anyway, what were we talking about?

Hot siblings. Dougie. Dougie Pitt. So anyway, what were we talking about? Hot siblings. Hot siblings. Yeah, hot siblings. Has anybody got their partner, but the siblings are hotter? That's rough. Or even just being with someone, but you're like... Man, their siblings are hot. You're crushing on their siblings.

No one in their right mind is going to call up or even tell you that they have a partner and their siblings are hotter or hot as well. I've always had a problem with people who cheat on their partner with their partner's siblings because why just? They're the same. They're the same. Genetically, you're cheating on someone very similar. Like, there's a world of people out there.

Christmas. How are you going to expect to be able to invite it back to Christmas? It's not Christmas-focused thoughts. Yeah. People are thinking with... They're letting the sex drive do the thinking, not the Christmas comfort. The comforting Christmas situation.

Well, maybe Angelina Jolie, when she was with Brad, wanted to hook up with Doug Mitpick. Thought Doug Mitpick was quite hot. Doug Pit. Maybe she thought, well, he is hot. He is. He's a good looking man. He's a...

If Brad Pit's not your cup of tea, Doug Pit might be your mug of coffee. That could be the situation. Yeah, yeah. You could be into Doug more than Brad. He's got like a real corporate businessman look about him. Yeah, he does. He looks a bit more clean cut. Yeah. So you've got a thing for the Yeah, yeah. You could be into Doug more than Brad. He's got like a real corporate businessman look about him, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. He looks a bit more

clean cut. Yeah. So you've got a thing for the boss, maybe. I don't know. So, do you think people will? Let me get this right.

You want to hear from people this morning who are saying, like, my partner's hot, but they've got hotter siblings. Or siblings that

you're not afraid to call hot. Yeah, well, maybe your partner's okay with you calling them. Or maybe you've already told them, yeah. Yeah, maybe you've said, look, you've got a hot family. How did that go down? Yeah. Because there's sibling rivalry as well.

Would you want to be told that your brother was hotter than you by Sade? No, I would not want to hear that. And he's smarter. What, has she said that, has she? No, she hasn't. He's not smarter. He's got a proper job. He's a pharmacist.

He's not smarter. That hurts more, actually. That's smarter. I know we just look like poor. He looks like a poor Vin Diesel impersonator. Right. And I look like a poor Jason Statham. We're pretty much the shittiest Fast and the Furious sequel

that you can imagine. We just need someone that looks a little bit like The Rock. Right. Okay. Well, 0800-DARLS-NM-9696. I don't know if anyone's going to admit to this. Does your partner have hot siblings? Let's discuss.

We're talking about if you've got hot siblings. Maybe hotter siblings or maybe your partner's comfortable to comment on how hot they are. Kanye West's new song mentions that he's got four sister-in-laws who are smoking hot. That he'd like to smash. Yeah. Horrible.

Thank you, Megan. Thank you. You're just quoting the lyrics. Quoting his lyrics. So maybe you've got a partner with Hot Siblings. That is what we want to hear from you this morning about. Yeah. Some text messages in.

Hey, do you know we talked about Doug Mitt Pitt before? This is Brad Pitt's brother. Doug Pitt's wife dated Brad Pitt in high school and dumped Brad Pitt for Doug Pitt. No! Oh, I wonder what she thinks about now. So I don't know if that's like a huge story about how great Doug Pitt is or the mistake this woman made.

I'm not sure what that person's getting at there. Well, I tell you what, Brad's got a movie company. He could make a movie about that. Yeah. So somebody said, I've got a hot sister. I dated a guy who after the date said I was a poor man's Eleanor. Ten years later, my husband told me he always had a crush on her. He knew her before he knew me, and that's why he started dating me because I looked a poor man's Eleanor. Ten years later, my husband told me he always had a crush on her.

He knew her before he knew me, and that's why he started dating me, because I lived a bit like her. You're like the home brand. Yeah. To the actual, you know, big product. Yeah, made in the same factory, though. It's the same thing, just the packaging's not. Yeah, but the wrapping's a bit plain, isn't it? Well, there might be a dent in the can.

I'm so glad I don't have a sister. I'm just so glad I don't have a sister, because I don't want to be the poor man's. I don't want to be the home friend. Sophie, good morning. Good morning. Now, what's the deal? I'm going to totally embarrass my partner right now.

Okay. I am actually dating my twin sister's ex-boyfriend. So how long did they go out for? A little over two months. Right. And how long have you guys been together? Four years. All right, so you're the dominant,

like you've dated him for significantly longer than she did. But was it awkward? It was mostly. But then why did he go to you because she wasn't keen? And he was like, well, I like this, so I'll go to the same looking human. We actually met at the same time. Yeah. So she actually met him off online and she wanted me to come

and we were just staring at each other and we kind of knew. And he kind of just went out with her for a bit to, you know, see if he actually did like her. But you're identical twins. Yeah. That's not the key to getting with someone's sister is to just go with them for a bit to worm your way in. I wouldn't imagine.

But it's worked in this situation. Did he say? Yeah, we kind of, a year later after they broke up, we were dating for two months in secret. Right. Right. I wonder what the stand down period was. So has he said you're the hotter twin?

I guess so. Without saying it. I think now that we've been dating for so long, he kind of is a bit grossed out by her. I'm not sure. Okay. Well, you bloody hope so. You know when I'm jumping shit, back over to Red Ribbon Rose. Thanks, you call Sophie.

Anonymous, what happened? So I dated this lady. Are you currently reversing while talking to us? I'm in a big truck, so I've just pulled over. Oh, okay. Okay, now we're good. So I was dating this lady for about two months. Ended up breaking up with her and going out with her sister.

And then stuff just started getting a little bit too awkward with Christmas and birthday. So we ended up just going, yeah, this isn't going to work out very well. So was she hotter, the sister? Oh, yeah. Hotter and younger. She was two years younger. sister? Oh, yeah. Oh. Hotter and younger. She was two years younger. Oh, wow. Wow.

Okay. And does she still talk to you? Yeah, we're actually still really good friends. I went to her wedding last year. Oh. Well, just the way you said how hot she was, it still felt really fresh. That's the sort of hot she was. She was timelessly beautiful.

Anonymous sex sex you call? Some other text messages Someone said this is my curse Literally every girl I've ever dated After getting reasonably serious To the point where it comes to meet the family I always meet their sister And they're always hotter What an absolute bummer

They said it's happened every time Yeah My partner's an identical twin His brother however Is a PT And he was my gym coach For a period of time There were many times

Where it was a little bit weird Yeah Because I guess Especially when they do that thing Like what your partner could be Like your partner's the before And now the after Oh

Oh no That's awful That's rough Somebody said My partner has an identical twin sister, but she's just a little bit hotter. And I've seen her in her undies when we were staying over. I just wanted to put it out there.

Someone's getting in trouble. They might not have the amazing personality that your partner has. Well, that's what somebody else said. Somebody said, I'm one of these people who have a hotter sibling. When guys meet her, she's a bikini model, cover girl, and one of those Insta-famous people. I know she's banging, but the trade-off is I got the brains in the situation and I'm the big sister she rings when she's got herself into trouble

and needs help. Aw. Yeah, see? It's not going to get you all those followers, is it? You can't be in Greece, like, turned around, like, bent over a boat and expect your brains to get a thousand likes. Because you can't see them. Yeah, exactly.

And if you can see them, then that's troublesome. Like, that's a gory-ass picture. That might get some likes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about pets. Thank you. Carry on. Today's fact of the day is about pets.

And I just want to talk about pets briefly before we get to today's fact of the day because I met someone at the weekend who their cat, Earl Grey is Karen, your cat's brother. Yeah, I know this because Karen follows, because Karen does this thing on Instagram where he follows other hot cats and I'm like Oh no, but look, he's after something

from them that you can't give up. Okay, you shouldn't feel bad about that. Okay, because, you know, they're just like all hot cats and people follow them because they're hot cats. Yeah, but you're not a hot cat. Have you spoken to him about it? No, he just does it. You should tell him how it makes you feel.

They're not pieces of meat. And they're all like hocking off all their herbal cat food and slim cat. Slim T's. Slim T's. Slim T's. Just like Karen. And maybe Karen's just looking for the motivation to start that diet. But Karen does follow Earl Grey the cat because, yeah, it's his brother.

Well, Earl Grey was very concerned about, well, Earl Grey wasn't, but Earl Grey's owner was very concerned about Earl Grey's weight. Oh, yeah, because. And it was like, seriously, can you ask Fletch to weigh Karen? I'm just comparing. The vets told us it's overweight. I'm like, but these are just like a sort of a breed, a husky. No, they're real fat cats.

Yeah, they can be. Like at my vet, there's a piece of paper and it's like, is your cat fat? And it's got like cats at different stages, like real skinny, hot model cat to fat cat. Yeah. And all in between. And they're all British blues. But you don't want to body shame your cat. No, exactly.

Yeah. But they're just known as being fat cats. So I said, don't worry about the cat. I said, behave you though. What's Earl Grey like? And she said, I'm loving, very well behaved. And I said, right, that is discipline. That's a discipline issue then.

That's nature versus nurture. Well, I'll weigh my cat because I get the rubbish bin, put it on the scales, press zero, and then put the cat in the bin. And that's how I weigh him. Right. I'll do that. How much does he weigh? Oh, we're not supposed to disclose.

He'll be about five or six kgs. And he's only three. Oh. Right. Fatty. Fatty cutty. Fatty. Fatty cutty.

Not even three. Today's fact of the day is in the United States, it is actually legal to adopt a rescue animal for the purposes of harvesting its organs to save your pet. Did you say legal? Legal, yeah. Like, it's basically like my sister's keeper, but the cat version or the dog version.

Oh, that's awful. I know, yeah. So you could adopt, like if you had a dog, like an Alsatian and then you could keep an eye on animal shelters getting Alsatians because your Alsatians had kidney failure. You could get it.

You could get it and then take it to the vet and be like this lovely dog has decided to donate its kidney to my dog. Both your dogs. Yeah. Now, because you've adopted it. And then you can give one of your kidneys to the other dog. How is that different to killing an animal? And harvesting it.

Well, no, like just straight up killing an animal. You're deciding that it's going to come to its end. You're deciding its fate. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with it. No. That's hot. I'm guessing that's not a thing in New Zealand.

I don't know. Because I never nothing wrong with it. No. That's hot. I'm guessing that's not a thing in New Zealand. I don't know. Because I'd never even thought about it. I think, like, as much as you love your pet, if it's that sick, it's time to put it down and let go. You can't kill another animal just to save yours. Yeah, that's not okay. If anybody here was going to, though, it'd be Megan. Don't know, would it?

Oh, yeah, it would be. So Leo's... No, I would never kill another dog. Leo's... No. Oh, my God, buy another couple for parts Leo's... No, I would never kill another dog. Leo's... No. Oh, my God. Buy another couple for parts. No, no, I would never kill another dog.

You wouldn't? No. You'd save your dog? No, that's awful. I'm going to put this to the test. How? I'm going to give your dog kidney failure. Are you kidding me?

It would be flesh. You'd get a dialysis machine for your dog, though. He's a bit more heartless than me. No, because I'm... When that happens, I'm getting a new couch because my one's screwed already. I thought you were going to say getting a new cat, but you're like, oh, this couch.

No, no, it'll be great. I'll get a new couch because my one's buggered already. And Fletch wouldn't pay the money. I don't imagine. No, of course I would. To save your cat. And I'd like get a pet cremation. You can get pet cremations and then blow them into the universe

on a rocket. That's pretty good stuff. Yeah, I've got, apparently I've got to build the rocket myself. Oh, that's dangerous stuff. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, just get up

into the atmosphere. You'd go into like Mission Bay to set it off. No, can't you just like... It like rains down your cat's ashes on some kid's ice cream the kid's like,

what is Kiwi-Yo? Or is Movenpac? No, just stuff Karen's ashes in like a firework. Yeah, exactly. Boom. I wonder if you could, you know, like the New Year's Eve fireworks display. I wonder if you knew someone who worked there, you could be like, you know, my dog always hated fireworks.

Would you be able to put his ashes in the fireworks and scare some other animals? Yeah. So today's fact of the day is in America, it's actually legal to adopt a pet for the purpose of using its kidneys to keep your own pet or using its organs to keep your own pet alive. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Blackout movement. This is why. Fact. This is why. Fact. This is why. Fat. Treats. They're everywhere.

Oh my God, you know what I had at the weekend? The new s'mores chocolate. Have you had that? Oh, I haven't. I've seen some people. Was it pretty good? Because we've been talking about maybe doing another tramp soon. I think that'll be my tramping chocolate.

Oh, really? Because spores have chocolate in it, so it's like a biscuit and marshmallow too. Yeah. Little bits of biscuit and marshmallow. But. You're eating it and you're like, oh, they're really saving money on this chocolate. That's all I think about when I eat. Because it's full of biscuit.

Yeah, because it's full of like marshmallow. Marshmallow. And that's like super cheap. Is it marshmallow in the middle of every one? Yeah, little bits and biscuit in every one. Little bits. Yep. So it's like Black Forest

in a way because it's chunky bits but without any berries. I like chunky bits in my chocolate. But you'd probably go Black Forest over but imagine Black Forest

with little marshmallows. Yeah, that'd be pretty good. Okay. Well, it's little chunky bits in the chocolate that feature heavily in today's This Is Why We're Fat.

And it's Cadbury product as well. Cadbury. Now, this is a bold move. Now, can I ask before you tell us what it is? Yeah. Is it in New Zealand or Australia reports of this? This is in Australia that it's on Australian shelves this week. And so I'm imagining it'll only be a matter of time before it's imminent arrival here in New Zealand

because we kind of share most of the products. Yeah. So it's controversial. It's a real collision of tastes. It's savoury meets sweet because the new dairy milk chocolate, one has CC's corn chips in it. And one has kettle fried sea salt chips. Now this won't

come here because we don't have CC's anymore do we? Do we only have Doritos? Oh yeah, Doritos. Yeah, we've got Doritos. Because didn't they become Doritos? CC's? I don't know. Is that a thing? No, Doritos is a different company. I think they're still CC's.

Only CC's are tasting like D's. Yeah, but they don't. D's, CC's. They stopped it because of D's nuts. Because everybody, remember that saying when everybody was saying that? They stopped the CC's. I thought that CC's became Doritos. No, I don't think so.

Oh, okay. But I'm sure I've seen CC's on the shelf of recent history. No, I think. So, yeah, there's two options here. The CC's original and the Kittle's sea salt. But, hmm, it's just with plain dairy milk. No, see, okay. Okay.

Salted chocolate, like salted caramel. Yeah. I was right. Sweet, salty. What? So there's no CC's? So they stopped using them in 2010 when it introduced Doritos chips into the market. Oh, okay.

So they're still out there, but just not here. Yeah. Okay. And Australia's into the market. Oh, okay. So they're still out there, but just not here. Yeah. Okay. And Australia's still not here. So, yes. I've only just for the first time in my life, sorry, just one more stop on CC's before we get to the destination chips.

I've only just for the first time in my life realised CC stands for corn chips. Does it? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, of course. Corn chips. It's one of those things you go through life never questioning. No, I just thought CC made them.

CC. Because C is also yes, but of course it's just the letter C. CC Sansa Corn Chips. Huh. Huh. Hey, we should do one of those memes. I was today years old when I realised that CC is Sansa Corn Chips. And, Anya, you're in charge of making that.

That'll go virale. You stand back a little bit. Anya's CEO of memes. No, she's a meme consultant. So, go ahead, Megan, with your point on... So, I was saying, you like salted caramel, right? Yeah.

Like, salty sweetness, same thing. And then you've just got crunchy bits in it. And that's weird to me because at a party, like, you know, when you're a kid, it was always one of those things you learn as a kid when you mixed the chocolate and the chips. You'd always, you'd then learn to start with chips and end with chocolate. People put M&M's in their popcorn at movies. They're sickos.

They're sickos. Someone will dip in fries and sundaes. I'm like, monsters. They say, oh, it all ends up in the same place. I'm like, yes, but it comes out as poo. Would you eat that? No, but do you have bacon on your French toast? Sometimes.

I don't have French toast. Oh, okay. I'm anti-sweet breakfast. Okay. If you have a sweet breakfast, it's by itself. Right. You don't drink the savoury stuff. Whether or not it comes here as like a Doritos-infused Cadbury

or a CC's-infused chocolate, that's something that is in Australia. And it's another reason why we're not getting any smaller. It's time for the last calls. Natasha, what's your story? Hi. So background is I was working for this company hosting parties. Yeah. Kind of like Tupperware parties, but like the adult version.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. So yeah. And while working for this company, I had these two big suitcases full of products that I'll go and display at the parties, you know, so they were like stock. And one day, well, one night my house got broken into when I was not there and a whole

lot of stuff got stolen, including these two big suitcases full of stock. Oh, no. Yeah. So that was quite funny. I had the police up and they went through and they were taking a list of everything that got stolen, et cetera, et cetera. And do they have to itemise every, because, you know, I've had to police staff and they went through and they were taking lists of everything that got stolen, etc, etc. And do they have to itemise every, because you know I've had to do a travel insurance claim and say what was in my suitcase. And it's to itemise everything.

Not at that stage. So what happened then was a company that I worked for actually thought that I had set it up myself to steal their stock. Oh my God. Yeah, so then the cops ended up having to come back to my place and they, you know, because they had accused me of doing this, that I had to fingerprint me and take statements and do all this, and they also had to search my house. So while I was working for this company,

I had a stuff discount so I purchased a few bits here and there so all these cops were in my room searching my room and putting all these items on my bed that they had to take back as evidence

Did they put it in a bag? Did they put it in a bag? Did they put it in the bag like CSI? They bag it up, the evidence. You know, they were brown paper bags. They weren't clear. Oh, right. Were they using gloves when they were handling them?

No, I don't think so. But, yeah, there was about four of them in there. They had these big grins on their faces as they were pulling out item after item. They're only hidden. Do you have a receipt for... It's really rough, though, that they pin that on you and they're having a go at you when you were housed.

Yeah, they tried to, but the cops knew that it wasn't because there had been a few places that had been robbed around the place, so they already had an idea of who it was. They went round and knocked on the door of the place. They actually got enough evidence from my place to be able to arrest the guy that actually did it. Oh, the guy? Oh, wow!

Yeah. And did you want the toys back or not really? Yep, yep, no, they were mine. I proved they were mine. You got them back. Yeah, they're expensive. Brilliant. Alright, wait then, Natasha, we'll vote in a sec.

Andrew, what's your story for Last Calls today? Yeah, so I fell with three other girls. Yeah. And we'll vote in a sec. Andrew, what's your story for last calls today? Yeah, so I flattled three other girls. Yeah. We all do our washing together. We'll probably open a bit. Okay. One morning, I took a towel from the washing basket because I was going to the gym.

So I went to the gym. I was doing a class there. And I was sweating. So I grabbed the towel, went to wipe my sweat, and out popped a tampon. But the funny thing is that I had no idea there were zips on these towels. So there was a zip on the towel I was using. Yeah.

So there was a pocket. So Al popped the tampon, rolled out in front of me to the girl that was in front of me, and hit her. Like, she stood on it and then looked at me. And she just gave me that look, you know, like, like, what the hell? So I grabbed it, and I just left. I went out, eh?

And I left my towel as well. I just left it there. And the towel was pink, by the way. A towel with a zip. That's ingenious. Except every time I rub my face, I can guarantee I'd get a zip in the eye. Yeah, or I'd wash my towel with whatever's in the pocket in there.

Yeah, true. Like the gym card. It's got a special wee Tammy pocket. That's a great idea. I think it's like a zip for like tampons. I don't know. I mean, you could even put your phone in there. Yeah, right.

Tiny little pocket. Just like maybe for your gym keys maybe. Yeah. And your tampons. Yeah. Obviously. All right, let's vote the Just like maybe for your gym keys, maybe. Yeah. And your tampons. Yeah. Obviously. All right, let's vote the Tribal Council for our favourite story today for the last cause. And Natasha, your story has won out over Tampon Zip.

Oh, yes. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. ZDM. today.