ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 17 2018

Episode Date: August 16, 2018

Vaughan messaged Caitlin's Mum, Friday Flashback and what do you carry around for people?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show. It's Friday. Hey, that's really rude. That's my back. What the hell is going on? What are you doing?

Sorry. What are you doing? Stop that. That is my line. What the hell is going on? What are you doing? Sorry. What are you doing? Stop that. That is my line. I start the show always. Oh, my mum really likes that you say that every time. Cheeky. She really likes that.

So cheeky. Anya, on the news desk, let me get this right. Somebody landed into New Zealand and declared two World War II bombs in their luggage. Yeah, artillery shells. And they were like, ooh, I'm going to need the bomb squad. But if they were just the shells of artillery, that just means... Oh, not the inside bits.

The casing. Yeah, the casing, right? That's a bit over the top. Would they have been large? How big would they have been? The thing about World War II, Megan, not every bullet was the same size. It could have been like a big projectile and like a cannon-y sort of situation. But yeah, when I think bomb, Megan, not every bullet was the same size. It could have been like a big projectile

and like a cannon-y sort of situation. Yeah, when I think bomb though, like... Artillery shell. Made me think of one of those ones that you'd see like long... Climbing up, put a honk at the side of a cannon and like hit the ground smoking and roll around on its end very poetically.

Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, tonk. Madness. Absolute madness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you see some of those things they catch people bringing in on those border security shows on TV. Normally, you know, pig heads.

Yeah, just mushrooms. Medicinal herbs. Yeah. Yeah. Some sliced meats. I saw on the show a couple of weeks ago some Italians got caught bringing in like pastrami or something. I was like, we've got that here. Calm down. But they did invent pastrami.

Yeah, I mean, it's probably good pastrami. It's probably great pastrami. Calm down. You can get it here. Did they declare it? No. Oh, well, that's where they've gone wrong. Yeah.

Just declare. $400 fine. Yeah. See you later. If in doubt, whip it out. Your pastrami, then. Act. See you later. If in doubt, whip it out. Your pastrami then. Actual pastrami. This isn't some sort

of penis analogy. All right. So Secret Sound on the show today coming up at 8 o'clock. My pick for Friday Flashback. I'll have it there. What are you going for?

Well, I don't know. Do you remember my last pick was Nickelback and the nation rocked, you could say. We could just work our way through his, or their discography. And you can't take the credit.

That was Anya's choice. You, like, were so nervous. So you can't now take the credit. Very reluctant. All right, but the top six is coming up in about 15, 20 minutes. Yeah, the top six features you can expect from your statehouse Airbnb. This is some statehouses are being sublet on Airbnb. So, you top six features you can expect from your statehouse Airbnb. This is, uh, some statehouses are being sublet on Airbnb,

so, you know, what can you expect? Alright, you lot, listen up, it's story time. Three news headlines. Uh, Vaughan and Megan, you pick one story out of the three headlines. One maybe that tickles your fancy. Whatever tickles your fancy, choose that one.

Okay. Headline one, hey, that's not on. Headline two, the greatest thrift store in the world. And headline three, police on the lookout after ram in raid. That's a sheep pun there. Ramen. It's actually a noodle. You said it wrong.

You said a ramen raid. A ramen raid. Well, it's a ram raid, isn't it? But this one's a ramen raid. Yeah. Okay. So did they rammed in with a car and stole ramen? Sure.

What was the other ones I've completely forgotten? Hey, That's Not On is headline one, and headline two, the greatest thrift store in the world. We call them op shops, don't we? Oh, I want one or two. That's probably had a big find. Yeah, that one. But what's Hey, That's Not On?

That could be literally anything. Could be about hay. Oh, okay. It's about hay. Maybe it is. Okay, let's go number two then. Hey, That's Not On. Has it fallen off something? Well, I'm not telling you.

You've got to choose. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you.

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you.

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you.

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you.

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you.

I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. You want that? Yeah. Okay, well, you may have seen articles on this before, but lost luggage and where it ends up.

Yeah. Have you ever? Yeah, they get stored in a warehouse in Arizona for a while, eh? Well, it does because it's eventually sold. If nobody claims it, it's eventually sold in what they are calling the greatest thrift store in the world. Right. Now, there is a place in

the unclaimed baggage centre. It's in Scottsboro, Alabama. And it's part lost and found, part thrift store. It's 400 square metres. It's a super store. It literally takes every lost suitcase in America. Megan is just absolutely shook. Because you can imagine

what's in here, right? Oh, yeah. Because everyone takes their nicest clothes away on holiday. Yeah, I know. And you do a lot of shopping on holiday too. So can anyone just go there and buy stuff? Well, yes, basically. Yeah, it is.

It's just like an op shop. So this is how it started. It was about 1970. There was a part-time insurance salesman. He got the idea of buying unclaimed bags from a local bus station. Because, you know, they were like, well, we've had them here for a while. We don't know what to do with them. He's like, well, you know, we'll buy them.

And this eventually extended to airlines. 46 years later, the store is stocking millions of items that Americans have lost on flights. Now, only about one half of 1% of checked bags

ever fail to make it through to baggage claim. And then after that, within a week... You think about that, that doesn't sound that much. No. One half of 1%.

But for every 200 people, that's one bag. And then, you think how many million flights there are around the world. They try to make it sound small, but that's actually quite an amount. So of that only one half of 1% that don't make it to baggage claim, roughly 80% to 90% are returned within 48 hours. Within a week, that number jumps to 98%. Then for the next 90 days,

the airlines then apparently try to get in contact with people. So that's why you've got to always have your address on there and your phone number. I tried. So after that, once they've had the bags for 90 days, that's it. They get rid of them and they go

to the greatest thrift store in the world where they will basically go through suitcases at the unclaimed baggage centre and sell stuff. Wow, I want to go there so bad. And it's got thousands and thousands of items. It's insane. They stock about 7,000 items a day. Wow.

All kinds of stuff, as you can imagine. I know, because that's the thing. It wouldn't all just be old stuff that hasn't been worn for ages, like most of the shops. Yeah. Jewelry there sells at half its appraised value. The most valuable item in the store currently is a $42,000 bracelet priced at $21,000.

Oh, bargain. Absolute bargain, yeah. Is it like a cardio bracelet or something? Maybe, yeah. Oh, bargain. Absolute bargain. Is it like a Cartier bracelet or something? Maybe, yeah. It doesn't say the brand. Because like rich people lose their bags too. Yeah, I know. And they probably just claim insurance on it because they've got everything over insured.

And it's actually like, it's quite a big, like it's big on TripAdvisor. It's actually a tourist attraction more than anything as well. The thrift shop. Yeah. Oh, my God. I so want to go there. Well, if you're ever near Arizona. Okay.

In America. That would be so good. It's there. Wow. Yeah. And you might even get yourself a bargain too. It would just be interesting to go and have just a snoop. I know.

It would be gay. Even just a wood. It would be great working there. Imagine opening the suitcases. Oh, if you'd be like. I mean, you'd want gloves. I'd take that. You'd take all the good stuff yourself, surely.

No? Yeah, 100%. 100? Yeah. It's like if you worked in an op shop and you actually had any idea about fashion and knew what things are worth. Because sometimes you go to an op shop and you're like, they've got no idea. They've just put like a dollar on these jeans that are worth like $200-$300.

So good Just because somebody would like Bought the jeans and then put on weight And was so ashamed they just like Shoved them in a clothing bin crying Gold jeans Get out of my wardrobe You're a constant reminder

The most complained about companies in New Zealand Has been released So I like who topped the list this year Good So this comes from the Commerce Commission in New Zealand has been released. So I like who topped the list this year. Good. So this comes from the Commerce Commission. Yeah, every year they release who people have complained about. To them?

Yes. Right, okay. Oh, yeah, not like just us whinging, like, because we called them in. Like, official complaints. So it's going to be, my guess will, it will be a lot of um telco companies and internet company

is that telco does that come into telco yeah yeah also banks oh banks uh not so much

because you wouldn't complain to the commerce commission you complain to the banking ombudsman ombudsman

does he take care of the or he or she take care of that that should be ombuds person by the way ombuds people Vaughanudsman. Does he take care of the, or he or she take care of that? That should be ombuds person, by the way. It's people, Vaughan. It's huge offices of people.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, telcos are in there quite a bit. There's 20. Do you want me to roll through all of them or just top 10? Oh, just, let's do top 15. Okay.

I feel like those last five don't count. Number 15, brand developers. Do you know what that is? No. I don't know what that is. Next. 14, Trade Me and Harvey Norman.

That must be 14 equal. Oh, because people think they're getting a deal or something and maybe the deal finished on Friday. Oh, yeah. There could be a range of stuff with Harvey Norman. This doesn't seem fair for Trade Me because usually it's the people, right? Yeah, what's the issue with Trade Me? It'll be people, yeah.

It'll be the people. I just got this new iPhone and they haven't delivered it. I've given them the money. Yeah, that's not their fault. No. 13, the corporate portal. Don't know what that is. 12, the warehouse.

65 complaints in a year. 11, Vocus. I don't know what that is. Vocus? Yeah, what's that? V-O-C-U-S? Yep. Focus means business.

New Zealand government is relying on focus as an improvement. Hey, it's like just around the corner from here. Oh, okay. Well, maybe we can pop around and ask them what they do. What they did wrong. Telecommunications service provider. Oh, okay. My broadband's not working.

Ten is Sky with 77 complaints. Oh. My broadband's not working. Ten is Sky with 77 complaints. Okay. Nine, feel like these guys should be a bit higher. Wilson parking, 78 complaints. Wait, they should be higher because you got a ticket. Yeah. With a Smith house has got a grievance. Oh, what is it?

A lot of people have a grievance with Wilson. So around the back of the gym by our house, it's a 90-minute limit. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So Sade went yesterday at 11 o'clock and at 11.36 received. Well, that's not on. Well, I know.

So I see it. She said, I've got the ticket. I've only been in here like, I was in there for 35 minutes. Yeah. When they issued it. I said, go to the gym. Yeah.

And get the gym to say what time you swiped your key card to come in. And so, yeah, they've got the screen caps and everything of it. to the gym and get the gym to say what time you swiped your key card to come in and so yeah they've got the screen caps and everything of it she said she had lodged a complaint

online using the ticket number before the 90 minutes was up of her originally parking there that is overzealous boy and I don't care

if you are very popular volleyball and kept Tom Hanks company for a long time or Tim the Tool Man's neighbour who we only ever saw the top half of the face.

Wilson, whoever you are, you can get stuff. Yeah, a lot of people have complaints with them. I had one minute over and the car that was beside me in the car park had been there

when I got there. They didn't have a ticket. I was like, but then I couldn't complain because I was one minute over. But they must have just stood there waiting for me. There needs to be

a grace period. Yeah, come on. Yeah, like a little five minutes, eh? At least. Okay. So the most complained about companies in New Zealand, number eight is Noel Leemings. Seven, Air New Zealand. They got 90 complaints.

Oh. Don't tell the people who give out airline of the year. Because they keep winning, mate. Six is Woolworths. Do we have Woolworths? It's Countdown. Oh, okay. Yeah.

It's the Countdown. Countdown. Number five, Two Degrees. We're getting into telcos. Yeah, we've done the telcos. My broadband's not working. I've run out of minutes

and data. I just swiped on Tinder. My phone battery keeps running out. Number four is Foodstuffs. What's that? Foodstuffs. What's that? Foodstuffs.

That's like New World. Is that the other supermarket? Yeah, that's the other supermarket chain. Three, Spark. 257 complaints. They're the first people to get in. Sponsor of the show. We won't have it next.

You should have left them off the list, Megan. Don't dwell on the sponsor of the show. Well, Spark is number three, but Vodafone's number two. Ah, yeah. 298. 298. Until they sponsor the show, then we'll skip over them Vodafone's number two. Ah, yeah. 200 and 98. Until they sponsor the show, then we'll skip over them too. Rubbish Holt music.

Rubbish. Right, okay. See, I've been with Vodafone for years. Is Vodafone still rocking a solid Dave Dobbin, Brooke Fraser arithmetic? On hold. Yeah, probably. And it's like distorting.

I think you can't be a telco without getting complaints. Oh, yeah. Like, it's impossible. Hold on I think you can't be a telco without getting complaints. Oh, yeah. Like, it's impossible. Hold on, we'll be with you shortly. We're just experiencing a busy call time. There's something in the water. There's something in the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I reckon they do that to make you want to hang out. Or play Bravura. Oh, just distort it loud. Thank you. Oh, me, oh, oh. Okay, Dave, just Jesus. that to make you want to hang up. I just distorted loud Come here, really? Okay, Dave, just, Jesus! It was just not worth to blame him out. My main objective

putting people on hold would be for them to hang up. I'd almost start advertising our most complained about services on the whole music to rob them of something. Just land their phone down. Number one, I think we can all agree this year, big year for these guys.

The most complained about company. Definitely deserve it. 325 complaints via GoGo. Oh, and that's why they're taking them to court. We said that yesterday on the show, didn't we? Good. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Today's Top Six deals Vaughan Smith. Hello there.

Today's Top Six deals with the fact that it has been found that some state house tenants are subletting their state house, either the whole state house or rooms in the state house

on Airbnb. Oh, that's not... I mean, it's entrepreneurial, but you are getting a home to live in from the government for free. Or very, very cheap. Yeah.

And, you know, I believe state housing is a very, very important part of society. Call me a bleeding heart liberal if you will. But it is like... It's a crucial part of society, helping those who would otherwise not have housing. But, you know, for a lot of people,

it's the situation of, well, I've moved into this neighbourhood and we're trying to gentrify it so if we could get rid of the state housing. And the sort of... Get yourself with your gentrification. And the sort of ammunition that's just made Talkback Radio really easy today.

Oh. Man, how easy? Because that's the hardest thing about doing a radio show is people say, you know, what is the hardest thing? It's coming up with things to talk about. Every day, like a fresh array of observation. They just turn up to work and the job's done for them.

So I answer the phone lines and just talk to all the racist old people. I couldn't handle that, seeing the nasty side of society all the time. Oh, yeah. No, it ages them. It ages them. Well, Leighton Smith upstairs is only like 24 years old. He looks like he's in his 60s because of the hatred. It's like Star Wars, the Emperor.

Yeah. Hell, come to the dark side. There's got to be a downside to all that power. Yeah. But these are, you know, state housing and while people are like, hey, they're getting something for nothing. Some of these are in a particularly bad state. Yeah.

State housing. A lot of mouldy, damp houses. Yes, yes. Dampness, a huge problem. So what I've done is I've compiled complaints about state housing from state housing tenants. Yeah. And people who have come in after state housing tenants,

like the next tenant, so it's like this place is in a pretty bad state. Yeah. I found a list of the most popular complaints about state housing that you can look forward to when you stay in your state house Airbnb. Okay. Number six on the top six features

of your state house Airbnb. A good structure. Great bones. The ones that were built in the 50s, built with native timbers. Yeah. Which you can also burn for heat because there's no insulation.

True. But just be careful. Don't take out like a support wall. Yeah. I mean, you're not going to get a good Airbnb rating if you burn down the house. No, not the whole house, but bits of it to keep yourself warm. Okay, right, yeah. To keep yourself warm.

Number five on the list of the top six features for your statehouse Airbnb, you can look forward to in-house pets. For example, intimidating dog breeds that can chew holes through walls because there's a hole in the wall and it's surrounded by chew marks. An actual complaint from someone at a state house. Someone's dog ate a hole in the outside of their house. Okay. Jeez.

Yeah. That's not a termite. I'll reiterate again. That's an intimidating, what was described as an intimidating dog breed. Okay. Chewed a hole in the wall of their statehouse. Number four on the list of the top six features

you can look forward to in your statehouse Airbnb. Great indoor-outdoor flow as the doors have actually been stolen and the windows are gone. Actual complaint. Actual complaint. Actual complaint about a state housing house, which I can imagine would make a lovely Airbnb. In summer, maybe.

Maybe, but remember about the dog that was chewing the outside of the house? Without the doors, it's now able to make itself an inside dog, as well as the neighbour's dog. Number three on the list of the top six features for your state house Airbnb is its proximity to a power pylon. It's actually right out the back and it's an all

sensory experience. At night you can hear the buzz, feel the buzz in your fillings, taste your fillings as it feels like it's melting, see the sparks when it kills a large bird that lands on it and smell that bird's fried remains as it hits the ground. It's almost like a Northern Lights aurora.

Yes. So with more flaming and more screeching. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six features that you can look forward to in your state house Airbnb if there are complaints about state housing or anything to go by. You can enjoy the sounds of whatever the bloody hell that noise is being cranked from the stereo in the lounge at the house underneath us.

You know, that's the good thing about it. It's like a UE boom, but you don't have any control over it and you don't get to turn it off. And the number one feature you can expect from your state house Airbnb is the lovely collection of indoor tropical plants that are growing out of the mouldy ceiling because it seems like that might be a fern. That's right.

Someone complained because they said a fern was growing. A fern. Out of the ceiling of. And dark. Yeah, they need a dark, moist environment to grow. Oh, that's sad. And they had exactly that. So when you're sitting back today thinking state housing's all a bloody laugh because

people are renting it out as Airbnb, those were actual complaints of housing that people are living in. And today's top six. FEM. ZM. Behind the scenes, while the songs have been playing, we've been talking about Facebook. I've had a Facebook cull.

Just a few people here and there. So if you made the cut and you can still see this. Oh, those people. We're good friends. I'm having a call. If you see this. If you want to remain my friend, let me know. No, I didn't do that. No, because some people popped up in my timeline. I was like,

one, I was like, who was that? And it was some chick I met ages ago who got married. And I didn't know that well. She got married. She's in love. Someone else had a baby. I had to hide them. I'm surprised she made it to the marriage stage because usually you hide an unfriend

at the engagement. Yeah, I don't know why she just popped up in the feed. But, you know, so I just had a bit of a cull. Have you got many people on your Facebook that are one-time friends? You mean you hung out with them once and then you're friends? You met them at a party and they're like, let's add each other on Facebook. And you get carried away and you're like,

okay, new friend, we're friends, and then you never see them again. Or you go travelling. A lot of people do their railway. Or you meet someone travelling and you hang out with them. You're like, let's be Facebook friends. You don't add travel people. You're not going to see them again. You add travel people because then you might want to stay at their place

when you go to that country. Exactly. And you haven't done an OE, Megan. You don't know what it's like. And you meet people and you might do the same trail. You might do the same kind of tourist trek area. And so you become friends on Facebook. You can messenger each other.

Right. Stay, stay. But then you never see them again. No. And then what are you supposed to do? Not in person. Well, this is what I wanted to talk about. One-time friends on Facebook.

But like, you're supposed to keep in touch with those people you hung out with overseas, right? But you don't, though. How many do you have on your Facebook from like years ago? Yeah.

I've got some Australians on my Facebook that we met when we were on Beachcomber in Fiji in 2009. And we went, Shade and I, with three of our mates. And they were the same age and they were like coupled up

and we just like hung out with them and were drinking because they weren't getting too loose like us. And yeah, we would just like

always hang out. We'd be like, hey, how's it going? And we'd like sit by them on the beach and everything. And I've been friends with them on Facebook since. Do you miss them?

I always wish them happy birthday. I've been friends with them on Facebook since. Do you message them? I always wish them happy birthday. I'm like, happy birthday, Aussie. He's an anomaly though. You're friends with all kinds of people. You've been friends

nine years. Yeah. And you still say happy birthday but you just met them one day on Beachcomber. Oh, like two days. See, you could delete them.

You don't need to have them on your Facebook. Oh, but then I'd feel real bad one day they'd be like, oh, I mean, it might be a bit vain to think they might be thinking of me, but they might be like, oh, what have you done to that fella? Did they ever wish you happy birthday? Every birthday.

Oh, maybe you can't delete them. And one of their birthdays is the day after my birthday, so I always say, I'm warming up the birthday chair, it's yours tomorrow. When they say, happy birthday, mate, I'm like, oh yeah, the birthday chair's all warmed up, it's yours tomorrow. Yeah.

But one of the couples broke up. Oh no. So now I've kind of witnessed them go on with their different branches of life. But you know, the reason why he's like this is because you're so nosy. You like to know what's going on in everyone's world. Yeah, you are.

It's like my own little love island, really. Yeah, okay. But it's all different series. It's not on an island. Everyone's living my own little love island, really. Yeah, okay. But it's all different series. It's not on an island. Everyone's living their own lives. I thought now, though, could we take some calls and some text messages? Who are your one-time friends on Facebook? You know, like these people that you make friends with,

maybe when you travelled ages ago. Yeah. And you're never going to talk to them again. You're never going to see them again. But they're still in your life. Maybe they've got an interesting story. Maybe you follow their life. Yeah, maybe you're super

glad you followed their life because something super interesting happened. Because I still do for some people, because they're interesting. Isn't that hot? No. Well, that too. Okay, well, maybe there's a hot thing as well, but that could be interesting as well. Yeah. Like, some friends and I, we made a friend at Splendour in the Grass.

We ended up camping with them and they were there the next year. Stu lives in Australia. He installs giant wind

turbines in the middle of Australia. So I follow him. I was showing you that. Stu's very interesting. I'll follow him

but I'm never going to see him again. No. Haven't seen him for like six or seven years. That's sad.

It's just one time Facebook friends isn't it? Yeah, right. That's good stuff though. I like that. See, I like because he pops his head out of the giant wind turbines and like you get a great selfie. Great photos. But I'm never going to see him again. I mean, maybe I should delete him. Never say never.

Don't delete him. Should I delete him? No, because then you're going to have a wind turbine question and you have to request it again. And they need a personal answer on some wind turbine related issues. Well, maybe you've got an interesting story. Who is your one-time Facebook friend? Maybe you've got a few of these. You met them travelling.

0800 DARS.M, you can text 9696. We're talking about those one-time Facebook friends. Yeah, those people you meet in the spur of the moment. You're like, let's be friends. Yeah, you jump to being friends with them way quicker than people you actually maybe went to school with or anything where you're really close. Or people you see at work every day that you're like,

I don't know if you're ready for this. But that's the thing. It's like, who asks who when someone new at work starts? Yeah. Because I'm like, well, what if I add them and they don't add me? I know that's why I don't add anyone. I'm like, well, what if I add them and they don't add me? I know that's why I don't add anyone. Or like, wait for them because I don't like

the rejection. But then it makes you look real standoffish. You should make a joke out of it. Be like, well, I'm not going to request your friendship

because I can't handle rejection. So if you want it, come and get it. Some text messages in. I met two couples. Well, me and my partner met two couples

when we were at DJ Sumi Rock, the event you guys had last year. It was an awesome night drinking and dancing all night and now we're friends with them on Facebook.

But yeah, we'll never see them again. But just we had a shared experience. Yeah. And that's kind of what people are messaging in. It's weird because

you have a shared experience, especially when you're travelling. Yeah. If you went somewhere, it's this experience that you shared that will always have you tied together. And it's usually fun, so you've got like endorphins are flying, you're like, yeah. Yeah. If you went somewhere, it's this experience that you shared that will always have you tied together.

And it's usually fun so you've got like endorphins are flying, you're like, yeah. Yeah, it's a good memory. Someone said,

my husband's friends with about five different people on Facebook, they have the exact same name as him and they've all got a chat group. Okay.

Never met any of them, never will, just this weird little pocket of people that decide to all be friends because they had the same name. That's kind of cute. Tell each other stories about what's happened to do with their name.

I had someone with the same name as me. He wasn't having a bar of it. Really? Yeah. I'd say just a poor sense of humor about the whole thing. I was like, this is so great. We've got the same names. Just wasn't into it.

Yeah, but then I imagine if someone said that to you and you were in the wrong mood when you got it, you wouldn't be into it either. Yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe. Daniel, your one-time Facebook friend? Hi, guys. I found there was a German backpacker. She was on like a world tour. Yeah. But when she was in New Zealand,

her camper van got stolen. Right. I ended up finding it, so she added me on Facebook. She's home now, and all her posts are in German. So, you've been friends for quite a while, but you don't know what she's saying. No idea. Google Translate's not much help. Yeah, does she look happy in the photos?

Oh, yeah, and she's gorgeous. Oh, yeah, right. There's the reason to put up with the German. Good, I'm learning. I'm learning. Yeah, you're learning. One word at a time. Daniel, thanks for your call.

Text message, I used to play Mafia Wars and this American guy messaged me to be in my mafia. So I was like, okay, that's cool because we were in different time zones. If I was offline and anyone attacked, he would take care of it and vice versa. Then he Facebook friended me and so did his sister. And I was like and anyone attacked, he would take care of it and vice versa. Yeah. Then he Facebook friended me and so did his sister.

And I was like, that's a bit weird, but okay. And then there was no updates from him. I was curious enough that I said to his sister, where's so-and-so?

She said, oh, he's currently in prison. So I unfriended them both. Like actual mafia. Yeah. Maybe he took his mafia wars a little bit too seriously.

Fran, who was your one-time Facebook friend? Oh, so I added a friend from high school, like an exchange student, who I hadn't seen in about maybe 10 years. I don't know. And so when I was doing this big sort of quiet cull, I culled her, assuming that we hadn't really interacted,

so it wasn't going to be, like, noticed, you know? Yeah. And we hadn't really interacted, so it wasn't going to be, like, noticed, you know? Yeah, yeah. But the day afterwards, I got this really lovely, incredibly sweet, but horrifically awkward message from her, basically saying, like, thank you for having me in your life. It's been so lovely getting to know you and seeing all of your updates and, like, wishing me the best. And, like, saying that she'd noticed that we weren't friends anymore and that was okay, and, like,

I've never felt more like an arsehole in my whole life. Oh, my God. But you're a one-time friend. I hate when, in real life, someone hits you up about... I know. Unfriended walking on the road. I've never, yeah, I just wanted to sink into the floor. Where was she from?

At the time, I was like, no, no, but it's fine. We can be friends again. But then I didn't want to be that guy either At the time I was like, no, no, but it's fine, we can be friends again. But then I didn't want to be that guy either, so I was just like, oh, thanks. What country was she from? Germany.

Oh, yeah. No offense, but Germans never have a reading on this sort of stuff. No, but do you think she'd been following your life quite closely? Well, it sounded like it

because, I mean, I don't know, I mean, I do some really cool stuff, which sounds wanky, but I do some cool stuff. So, like, you know, fair. But it was just, it was, yeah, it was horrifically awkward. For her to notice the next day, she must have, like, been following quite closely.

Yeah, and then I'm like, well, that's a bit odd because I, you know, I had no real idea what she was up to. So then I felt like an even bigger dick. I don't know. Did you message back? So awkward. Did you write back to her? Oh, yeah.

I wrote her back and I said thank you and, like, you know, that it's been lovely getting to know her and I hope she understood. And it's just like, how do you respond to that, though? Like, you can't just ignore something like that. It was like this is novel. I would have had a friend message her and say that you've died. Wait. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

You know, because then, ha-ha. Fran-um. Yeah. She'll feel bad, not you. Shut down Fran's Facebook. Because she's dead. And then you have to go to the whole hog and turn your Facebook into one of those memorial pages for, like, a few months.

Yeah, just to tell. FVM, the podcast. Secret Sound, $50,000 cash now. A huge clue. If you go to our Facebook page, our Instagram, FVMZM, a video of a tour around Soundkeeper Annabelle's eight-bedroom student flat. Somewhere in that video is whatever makes the secret sound. So make sure you watch that.

Maybe it matches up with a guess that you've got. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it'll help. Check that out because the activator is coming up at 8 o'clock. Plus, Friday flashback is my pick, and it is going to be Friday Jams Live themed, and there's an announcement. Quite a big announcement.

Quite a big announcement. Okay. Okay. Good. Good. Okay. I don't announcement. Okay. Okay. Good. Good, okay. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. It's not Nickelback.

No, I don't know what the announcement is. Oh, no, well, I do. Is it the coveted promise yet to be added out as? Caitlin and I know we're the only two people that know. How come we don't know? Because you can't be trusted. Because I want to have a surprise for once. Oh, my God.

We don't have an actual surprise. You haven't been told. Okay, that's good. You haven't be trusted. Because I want to have a surprise for once. Oh, my God. We don't have an actual surprise. You haven't been told. Okay, that's good. You haven't been told. Okay. There is a boom in a cosmetic procedure that people are getting purely for work, which is weird.

So instead of getting it for themselves, they're purely getting this done because they... Lip fillers. Is it lip fillers? No. So we've worked with a couple of people that have got lip fillers and I'm like,

why'd you do that? You shouldn't say that to people. Why'd you do that? You shouldn't judge them. Why don't I just don't see why people do that though? They look fine without them. Yeah, I know,

but some people have insecurities. I'm not saying that you should, but like, you should definitely not do it if it's like, just for work. So people are getting this done because they think

they want to look better in a professional context. So they think it's going to get them further in the workplace. Moustaches. Getting them lasered off. No, getting a moustache implanted. Because that's not a cosmetic procedure.

Oh, implanted would be. That's a cosmetic procedure. Oh, no. A moustache implant. No. It's getting Botox. Actually, fillers is included, but it doesn't specify lip fillers.

Wait, so why does that make you look more professional? I don't know. Because you don't look like when your boss is yelling at you, you don't look like you're freaking out because you can't move your face. Look better in a professional context. Is it the fluorescent lighting of your average office? Burns up the wrinkles.

Because there's quite a bit of, especially now that like people get older, the population gets older, there's a lot of ageism at workplaces. People are saying, you know, I'm a lot older, I can still do this job, but I'm being replaced by younger people. Right. Probably because they can just pay younger people less. Less.

But do you think that's a reason as well? And younger people aren't constantly asking how to fix the computer. Even though it's just the screen savers come on because we're living in an environment where we like to save power and practice sustainability. This is ageism in the workplace. This kind of thing. Yeah, that's probably what it boils

down to, is that they don't want to look old. But then you're not going to have an expression in a meeting, are you? Guys, we've lost half the company's profits. And everyone's like wow half the company's profits and everyone's like, wow! And Susan's just like, Susan's like,

terrible news. Terrible news. Terrible news. But guys are getting it too. It's a guy thing as well. Really? Yeah. Do you know of any guys

that have had Botox? I don't have any friends or... Not that I've admitted it. Yeah, I reckon you could guess. You probably could guess though,

couldn't you? Who? Do you reckon anyone's had it up there? Hosking? Yeah, do you reckon could guess. You probably could guess though, couldn't you? Who? Do you reckon he's headed up there? Hosking? Yeah, do you reckon he's head motor? Oh, I never even thought about that. No, neither. I was just thinking about it now because he's got money, you know.

No, because his forehead always wrinkles when he's talking about beneficiaries. He just looks so frustrated. He's like, why aren't they rich? Just stop being poor. Guys, just go out and get a job. Rent a high-end European sports car. Sell your remu or a house. Why isn't everybody rich?

Yesterday, I had to stage a... Wait a minute, what was it called again? Intervention. I was going to say an interaction, and it was an interaction of sorts. Okay. Now, yesterday, it was actually just before the show, so I arrive at work and Caitlin's crying.

Not like bawling, bawling, but just... Oh, it was pretty full on, eh, other producers? Like, it was when I arrived, I thought there was big trouble. Like something really bad had happened. Like someone had died. Yeah. And Caitlin had watched a trailer for a film she'd been invited to by what was it?

Auckland Vegan Action Group. Yeah, the activists for vegans. Yeah, vegans. And she'd watched a trailer about the horrendous treatment. What was the trailer? It was horrific to watch. You literally saw pigs, sheep, baby chickens Just getting like thrown into

Oh okay We don't need to see that I like to live in ignorant bliss Well that's the thing I don't think we should be living And I'm 100% You buy animal products Where you can trace back

And see that the animals Have been treated well But do you? Yeah I do I always get the blue SPCA eggs I don't know I get free range SPCA eggs. I'm always that. I get free range. And I understand

that it's more expensive and we're lucky to be able to do that. That's not an option for everybody. That's right. Like, I think you actually have to go to the farm and see it.

Like, I don't know. I don't have time every time I go to Countdown to be like, can I have the addresses of all of these places? I'm going for a drive. You're a murderer.

Says the girl who eats cheeseburgers on a Friday night. Okay, so I want to change my way of thinking. And I don't know why I got sent this email, but I did. And I was like, I need to go and watch this documentary. Caitlin's like, I'm going. And I'm like, please don't. It was last night, wasn't it? It was meant to be last night.

Mostly, yeah. And I was like, please don't. I understand that there's this't it? It was meant to be last night. Mostly. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, please don't. Like, I understand that there's this stuff happening and animal cruelty is really bad and stuff, but you particularly take this stuff, like, super hard for, like, two weeks. And I was looking out for you and I'm like, this is just going to be. You've been a bit vulnerable the last couple of days. Yeah, I have.

And so yesterday afternoon I said to Caitlin, I messaged her and I said, are you still going to this movie? She said, absolutely I am, blah, blah, blah. So I messaged her mum. You think that Jane loves hearing from you, but she doesn't. I know. She doesn't.

She's like, every time you message, she's like, oh, what now? No, she loves to hear from me. No, she doesn't. She does. Let's say that's up for debate. I messaged her and Caitlin because I wanted Caitlin to know that this was an intervention. I said, Mama Jane, Caitlin's going to see a vegan propaganda film tonight.

I'm concerned. So you're putting your own beliefs, you're like wedging in your own beliefs in there by saying propaganda. Everything's propaganda. It's a vegan movie. Oh, because you're right about everything. You know everything, Vaughan. He's on a very high pedestal.

The head of the world. Thank you. God. Both of these two. You never tell them anything. Because they'll give you their five, ten cents. You do what you want, but. But I'll tell you my opinion on it.

I'll tell you what you should do. I don't have to work with them. Yeah. I said I'm concerned that this will affect her iron intakes when she swears off me. And I'm calling for an intervention. Do you know, the only thing you were worried about was that she was going to come to work and you were going to hear about it.

You were trying to save yourself. You're not trying to save Caitlin. Yeah, and she wouldn't have been this happy today. She's quite a pleasure today. I was like, I don't want to have to deal with you. When she kept moaning about animal rights. Well, I heard back and she said, hello, Vaughn, thank you for your concern.

It is a great concern. Yep. Seeing as I'm not able to intervene and stop this nonsense, it's up to you to go kidnap her and lock her up until this bloody thing's finished. Thank you. And you didn't go last night, did you? No, and it's not because

of Vaughan. What did you stay home and do instead? Played Fortnite. And no, what did you eat last night? Some halloumi. Which is produced from... Did you visit the farm? No, I was getting it out of my system. Did you visit the farm?

It's like when you go on a diet. I had a whole block of halloumi. I didn't want it to go to waste, so I ate the whole thing. Chickens may have been tortured in making that. Is it chickens? Cheese. Cows. Chickens. I'm sorry, Megan.

Whereabouts do you milk a chicken? Where do you milk a chicken, Megan? Megan gets, I can see out there on her bloody West Auckland neighbourhood, she's like, all right, got a couple of chickens, it's halloumi time now. Where are your nipples? Just go around there, she's just like fondling the underneath of a chicken, just like, I'm trying to find the nipples.

And she comes in, googling, where are the chicken's nipples? Chicken halloumi. How do I make you? Do chickens have nipples? No, they don't. I thought everything had nipples. No, we've talked about this in the segment we did is it a mammal when you didn't know what a mammal was.

Remember mammals, mammary glands, mammary glands, nipples. Why did you say that? You could raise some chickens and then I'll eat the eggs because I'll know that they're being Do you remember mammals, mammary glands, mammary glands, nipples. Why did you say that? Nipples feeding their young. You could raise some chickens and then I'll eat the eggs because I'll know that they're being raised properly, Megan. Okay. And then you can check for their nipples and just give them a feel. No nipples.

Little chickens are cute, guys. They'd have such a great life. And little piggies and little lambies that you all eat, you murderers. Caitlin said to me, oh, your daughters, you know, they're sweet. They'll be vegan activists. They'll be vegetarians. And I had to quote Indy from the weekend when she was eating bacon.

Mmm, what a delicious, juicy pig this must have been when it was alive. Indy! And they were like, sitting there eating bacon. I'm the Augustus. I'm like, mmm, good bacon. And Indy's like, I can imagine you could just like, slap it and it would wiggle.

Indy. Oh, great. Okay. F.A.M. What? No, nothing. I was making silly faces. Sorry, carry on.

Who at? Anya. For what purpose? No purpose. Well, we're trying to run a professional outfit here. Please continue. I shan't. I'm telling apologies.

I did. I said sorry. Oh, okay. Apologies. Sorry. Carry on. You may have seen this online. A six-year-old girl pictured beside a giant pile of boxes from Amazon and looking very pleased with herself as the delivery guy in the background

is kind of like, your problem. I have seen this. Your problem now. This is a great photo. A six-year-old. This blows my mind as someone with a six-year-old.

A six-year-old called Caitlin, which may be an issue, ordered $350 worth of Barbies and a toy pony using her mum's Amazon account without her mum knowing. But her mum's credit card would be saved, right? It must have been saved to the Amazon account.

So you're just like, I want that, yes. I can't wait till this happens to you, Vore. This is the thing. My daughters that age, the worst that's happened was they got a colouring in app on the iPad and they pressed buy this other drawing. It was like 99 cents. Okay. And I got an email receipt saying 99 cents has been spent.

So I'm just like 99 cents! And took off automatic download, like passwords removed, everything. Yeah, right. Like on my phone I can still buy things, but otherwise there's password and everything. Yeah, right. Like on my phone, I can still buy things, but otherwise there's password and everything. Yeah, right. They know the PIN to get into the iPad, but they don't know the password,

which is different to purchase anything from the store. But my kids would have no idea about online shopping. But they don't see you doing it. No, that's true. Like if my kid was experiencing me always online shopping, they'd be like, I'm going to do that too. You know, they'd just follow suit. Yeah, I guess if they were sitting beside you.

Yeah. They'd say, mum, mum, mum, can I have some attention? And you're like, shut up. It's so weird to hear you say, my kid. Yeah, I don't have one, but I imagine that would be what it would be like. Buying things. So she bought $350 and the photo is of this little kid,

Caitlin, looking very happy about it. This has been all over the media. Well, mum's had the last laugh because Caitlin's had to donate all those toys to a children's hospital. Oh, that's nice. Brilliant. Yeah.

That's good. So the mum's like, I'm kind of to blame because I said if she did extra chores, she could have a Barbie. Yeah, right. And then she did the chores, but then just ordered herself the Barbie rather than waiting for us to... She's got to learn She could have a Barbie. Yeah, right. And then she did the chores, but then just ordered herself the Barbie rather than waiting for us to...

She's got to learn. ...to do it. So they've donated the toys, but I just... It blows my mind. I know someone who's a six-year-old. They were telling me they ordered a Fitbit because some kid at school had a Fitbit.

I was just like, where would you even like... They've got to like... How old is this kid? How old is the kid? Six. And has a Fitbit. At time of Fitbitting.

Yeah, all right. Worried about their steps for the day. To get their steps up. Yeah, lots of kids have Fitbits. Yeah, but that's another thing. If you've got a Fitbit and you're feeling guilty about not hitting your steps, give it to a kid. They'll whack out 40,000 steps at school.

Right. Like, what are they doing? Teachers got them running on treadmills to power schools. Is that how underfunded schools are? I think so, yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't want my kid to have one just because

they'd always outdo me. They're like, what have you got today? 40,000? Okay, man. I mean, you're painting a picture of a great future mum ignoring your kid

to do online shopping and also being angry because they're doing more steps than you. We're mummy's Fitbit. Yeah. Go for a run. Have a few more biscuits, eh?

Because mum wants to, but mum's not having them if you don't have them, so. Our boy's not wearing his beanie today, but it's something that he is actually wearing that we want to talk about because... Do you know what it is? Which is, apart from not wearing a beanie, I'm wearing everything I'm wearing.

It is I'll give you a clue It's a new accessory That you've recently taken to wearing Every day Or that we've noticed Oh The hair tie around my wrist

So this is what we noticed We were like Why have you got a hair tie around your wrist Not being awful But you don't have hair to tie it up You could do a look with those little beard, like... Oh, yeah, my beard's not long enough. It's trimmed at the moment.

A beard tail. Yeah, a beard tail. You'd have to loop... Like a plaited Viking beard. You'd have to loop the hair tie quite a bit, though. Yeah, to hold it in. But we weren't quite expecting such a cute response. Vaughn, why do you wear the hair tie around your wrist?

Because I've got two daughters who always need their hair tied up and they never carry hair ties. Like the amount of times it's like, I dag tied my hair and I'm like, I don't have I'm not allowed to brush their hair because apparently I'm too rough with the brush. You've got to be gentle and not hurt. Oh

I know, I said look, we can solve this, we'll give you a nice short haircut and there's just like three gasps No, I don't want to be So I said, look, we can solve this. We'll give you a nice short haircut. And there's just like three gasps. No, whatever. So I said, well, okay, well, I'm just going to tie it up. So it's like, Dad, can you tie my hair? But they're always losing their hair ties, so I've got to always have a hair tie on.

That is the cutest thing ever. You can't just put it in your wallet or your pocket? I could, but then I don't know. I'm always pulling things out of my pocket. I think I had one. I used to keep one in my, the coin. Oh, put the, tie them around the jean belt, the jean loop on your jeans.

But then I look like I'm like a little small time mountaineer. Your t-shirt covers it. Oh yeah. But then I'd lose it if I tied it around there. It's just so handy you just literally it's like you just pull it straight over and you've already got it stretched over the hand that's where i keep my hair size you need it back over

yeah i didn't think anything of it a couple of people have said why have you got a hair tie and i was like because they're always like can you tie up my hair so it's like we're going on an adventure well because it's harder for dads, isn't it? Because at least mums can just have a handbag full of them. The amount of stuff,

like, I feel real bad because even I still offload. When we went out for dinner the night and I said, Shade, all right, here you go. And I handed her

all my stuff. I knew this was like, what do you want? I was like, purse, purse, purse. I do this to Caitlin all the time. It's so great. It's so annoying.

And then when you want it back, you're like grabbing and you ruffle through my handbag. I'm like, purse, purse, purse. I do this to Caitlin all the time. It's so great. It's so annoying. And then when you want it back, you're like grabbing, you ruffle through my handbag. I'm like, everything's got a place. What do you need? Like, I'll get it for you. Because you're just like burrowing in my handbag. Oh, handbags are just like Aladdin's cave, though. It's like there's so much stuff in there.

Yeah, but I'll get it because you're making a mess in there. There's like a little puddle of lip balm in there. There's some tissues in there. Yep. There's like always, always stuff if you get a headache. Yeah. Oh, yep. Okay.

Always. My mum was never really a purse. We didn't go out a lot because I lived on a farm, but I never had the magic of mum's purse really. Yeah. So I've always been like blown away by the magic of Sade's purse. Well, that's kind of what I wanted to talk about. What do you carry around for other people?

Because I guess women have handbags, so you're going to easily carry around. But you carry a hair tie for the girls? Yes. Yeah, women are like the pack horse, really. Excuse me? What did you just call me? Should have chosen a sexier carrier animal. Of course.

Llama. Don't even call me that. No, they are't. Llama. A donkey. No. Not an ass. A mule. A mule.

A mule. That sounds drug related now. Who's your mule? You're our wallet, phone, keys, mules. Maybe you are the girlfriend with the big person. You have to carry around everything for the boyfriend. Yeah, or even just friends, like you say. Like Caitlin carries it around for you, which I don't know why she does that.

What's that look for, Caitlin? Excuse me. Caitlin, hold my jersey. Caitlin, here's, hold my drink bottle. Your jersey? I always hold your jersey. That was only the other day when we were filming. No, that's it. I've held your jersey at least three times. But you've got such a big bag.

But it's not for your jersey. Do you know what jersey? That's mum. That's mum territory. The only person that should carry your jersey is your mum. And if you're old enough that your mum's not there

then carry your own damn jersey. And see when he wants something back he's like burrowing in your bag. He's like where is it? You're holding it. Where's my swipe card?

You better not have lost it. Privileges revoked. It's in her purse. It's in her big bag Alright well 0800 dials it in 9696 What do you always

Have to carry around For other people And who is it And yeah And what are you Carrying around for them Hair ties Phones

Wallets Whatever We want to know What you're carrying In your Maybe in your bag Or you carry for other people Anywhere

Someone said Some text messages In on the subject. Someone said, as a mother of a toddler, I've always got spare undies in my bag because we were trying to toilet train. I've done that. I've left the house with the girls and just had a pair of undies in each back pocket.

Back pocket? Yeah. Okay. So it's like a little bit bulgy. Right, okay. That could be embarrassing if they fell out and you weren't with your kids. Yeah, that'll get you followed around Westfield, I reckon. Yeah, yeah.

It gets security team closely following. Somebody else said, I hate hearing people cough, so I always have cough lollies. And it's just for anybody I ever hear. Also a passag way of saying shut up. Yeah. Do you have to cough on my presence? Do you have to cough? Yeah.

I don't want to be sick. My boyfriend recently grew out his hair, so I'm always carrying hair ties and bobby pins and people are like, oh, for you? No, for my boyfriend and his new shoulder length hair. He doesn't sound a fan. No. No. Megan, what do you always have to carry around for someone?

Well, I've got a partner who's a little bit of a menace. Whenever we're at parties, he gets a bit hungry, but he thinks, you know, eating's cheating, so he doesn't want to eat the food right now. So I have to hide my handbag, because he'll hide savouries in my handbag for later. Just like little what? Like egg kind of quiches?

No, just like mint savouries, sausage rolls. Okay. Does he wrap them up in a napkin at least? Not always, no. Oh, my God. You'd have a pastry through your lining. Oh, you'd have to be tipping your handbag out weekly. I can understand saving some savouries for later,

but also enjoy them while they're hot, you know? Like some for now, some for later. He's so terrible. One time we were at the pub and I went to the toilet, came back, the whole contents of my purse was on the table and my purse was positively bulging and I was like, what is that? And he said, oh, I just had a jug of beer

and the jug was so cool, I thought I'd take it home. Again, you'd be the one going down if you got caught for that too uh thanks you call megan victoria what do you carry around for other people an asthma inhaler for my boss what is it your boss carry it he's got one as well but it's just that his is at the bottom of his big backpack with all his stuff and he knows I know where mine is at all times. I'd wait until he's having an attack, holding it at arm's length, being like, pay rise, pay rise. How much do you want to live,

Roger? Victoria, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. I've been called on multiple occasions the snack mule, because I always have snacks. And there's a secret compartment in the bottom of my purse where I can hide snacks. So people are always just like, can you put this in your secret compartment?

I'd forget about that and then come back into New Zealand after a week in Aussie and get fined. Yeah, because you've got a secret compartment. A secret compartment's full of fruit and veg. Some other text messages in. Somebody said, this is a perfect opportunity to thank my partner. As I don't like carrying anything when we go out. He'll often have four or five tampons in his back pocket

and he makes no big deal about it. He just gets it done. Oh my God. What's his name? No name attached. I don't know any guys that would do that, including my husband. That's so sweet. Somebody else said, we've got diabetics in the family,

so we've got a bit of everything. We've got the old insulin injection pens, testing gear, juices, jelly beans, and muesli bars. Nice. We call it our diabetic survival pack, and I've always got that on me. My phone's too big for my pockets, so there's someone who wanted an 8+,

but didn't have the pockets to accommodate it. Yeah, you've got to think about that. My boyfriend always has to carry it in his pocket. Oh, that would be so annoying. Because you get double vibrations. I don't trust him with it. Because you guys are always, it's always falling out of your pockets

or you sit and nod it or something. Yeah, probably forget about it, have it and sit on it. And somebody else said, we just spent an absolute fortune getting our sun braces, so I carry mouth guards in case I see him getting up to anything.

Just any sort of light activity. To me, no. Mouth guards. Come here. I said, come here. All right, next on the show, it's my pick for Friday flashback. And because Friday Jams Live is coming in, tickets are on sale Monday, I'm going to theme it Friday Jams Live with a special announcement,

a big announcement. Which Vaughn and I don't even know about. Which you don't know. Only Caitlin and I know about this, but soon you and the nation will know. Okay. And also I've got a wee treat for you guys because we joked about the music video yesterday, but today Mr. Toyboy's song has come out, so I thought that I would play it for you. Oh, like first reviews.

You can give a wee review. Right. This is the one that the sexy girl's going to be in. Yeah. That you're not happy about. She didn't want to talk about that. She wanted to one that the sexy girl's going to be in. Yeah. That you're not happy about. She doesn't want to talk about that. She wants to talk about the sun. I don't think she's forgotten that someone's going to be rolling around on her bed

in their knickers on Saturday. Right. Friday Flashbacks. Alright, so Friday Jams Live. We announced it this time last week and it is huge. On Monday, general tickets go on sale. And

judging by the pre-sales, like, I know so many people that have got pre-sales, you're not going to want to mess around on Monday. You're going to want to get your tickets. All the details are at ZM Online. Just a reminder of the line-up, Usher headlining, T-Pain Eve, Lil Jon, Salt-N-Pepa, Naughty by Nature, Genuine, Estelle,

Shea Fu and the Krayts Kings, hosted by Fat Man Scoop, who is hilarious. And headlined by Usher. And I have themed my Friday flashback. You said there was a surprise. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, Caitlin and I have a... Now or later? Like, because I've been hanging out for this.

I don't know what it is. Do you think producer Caitlin and I should tell them after I play Usher for Friday flashback or now? Oh, I don't know. After, after, after, after. Tell us after. After. Okay, well, my Friday flashback goes back to just 10 years ago, 2008,

for an Usher song, Love In This Club. The official title. I would like to make love in this club. Please. We've got some big news Usher related in Friday James Live next. All right? Usher related. I see you, Ryan.

See them. Okay, you was right. We just getting started. Yeah, man. You see, you're searching for somebody that'll take you right into your eyes. Well, come here, baby, and let daddy show you what it feel like You know all you gotta do is tell me what you're sippin' on And I promise that I'm gonna keep it comin' all night long

Lookin' in your eyes, baby, at the other side Can't take it no more, baby, I'm coming for you You keep doing it on purpose Why did it work? If you close our eyes, it could just be me and you I wanna make love in this club In this club In this club

I wanna make love in this club In this club in this club, in this club, in this club In this club, in this club, in this club, in this club I wanna make love, make love, make love in this club, in this club In this club, yeah, in this club, yeah In this club, on the floor, baby, let's make love I wanna make love in this club, yeah In this club, in this club, yeah I wanna make love in this club, yeah

In this club, in this club, yeah In this club, in this club, yeah And this love is one And this love is another Hey Hey Hey Hey This song happened to me. It's Usher on ZDM. Fleeche Warner, Megan, your Friday flashback.

I had a lot of Usher songs to choose from. Excuse me, we were all agreeing on Caught Up. I know, I know. And then at the last minute, Fletch is like, let's play Love and Risk. Well, I just heard that the other day. I don't know. There's so many Usher songs. Part of the reason so many people are excited to see him at Friday Live, Friday Jams Live.

It's because he's got so many jams. So many huge songs. And he is headlining Friday Jams Live. It's because he's got so many jams. So many huge songs. And he is headlining Friday Jams Live. And the big news that only Caitlin and I know is that on Monday at 7.50am, Usher is joining us on the show. Oh my God. On the phone.

On the phone. Oh, right, yeah, okay. Not in here. Not in the studio. Right, on the phone. On the phone. Not in here. Not in the studio. Right, on the phone. On the phone. 10 to 8, you say? Usher.

7.50. Yes. What do we call him? Hello, Mr. Usher. I don't know. It's his name. Usher Raymond, right? Yeah, yeah.

So just Usher. It's fine. Mr. Usher. Monday morning, 7.50. We're going to fangle now, get it out of the way. Yeah, and we'll celebrate. We'll talk to him about Friday Jams Live, what to expect, and get excited for general tickets

going on sale on Monday. Okay. All right. Now, yesterday on the show, we dealt with quite a sensitive matter. It was about this time we spoke about it. How was, was there any fallout when you got home? Because you thought Andy P wasn't listening,

but then the kitchen hand knocked on us. The kitchen hand went to his work and was like, I heard them talking about your events this weekend. I was like, no. There's an unspoken rule. If Megan's talking about Toy Boy, I'm talking about Sade. You guys listening, I'm going to tell them.

No, it's because they won't be listening and we know it. We know. We time these things perfectly. So the issue for those that missed it yesterday is that Mr. Toyboy has a new song out. Today. And the video is being shot this weekend and there's a sexy girl in it.

And it's going to be shot at Megan's house and some of it is on Megan's bed, on the do-vit. So he said to me... I'd say, B-Y-O do-vit, woman. Yeah. Just a wee update yesterday. He's like, should we... You're going to need to change the sheets

and like then maybe we should get some new nice ones so that in the video it looks nice. I was like, oh, I'm not buying nice new sheets for her. And you can change them. It's the duvet not nice already. The duvet's nice. But you know. She's not getting under the duvet.

I don't know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. This is just like. So are we dropping in. Pray for me. Are we dropping in for some Fortnite tomorrow, or are you going to be like...

Hell no. I've got eyes on. Okay, eyes on. She's not going to leave them in that room for a second without eyes on. Well, the song that this music video is for is out. Today. It's out today.

And yesterday, somebody at work was listening to it and they said, you You're gonna love this And why Just let me Pause Pause It's called Magical And it's poetic

Okay Like don't ruin it for people Because then I want them to listen to it And like It's about you Well we don't know that He hasn't like specifically said

It's about He hasn't specifically said But if he said Oh it's about you. Well, we don't know that. He hasn't like specifically said. He hasn't specifically said, but if he said oh, it's about somebody I knew before I knew you, Megan would hit the roof. Oh, if it's about anyone else, yeah, like I'd be mega pissed. But hasn't literally said the words. But I don't want you to like ruin it for people because then they'll just be like, ugh, every time I hear it. Well, I've got it here. I haven't heard it.

Vaughn, you haven't heard it. Do we want to pause? We'll pause and discuss. Okay. But you've got to play it long enough that we get paid. How long do you have to... I don't know what it is, but you have to... How much do you get for like a Spotify stream? I don't know, but we need everything we can get.

No, Spotify's awful, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, at least you're a gel. Spotify this, Spotify that, but the good old radio pays more cents per play than Spotify. And good news, if you don't like this song, just turn the volume down and stream it. Just stream it anyway. So Megan gets paid. Wait for the video.

Right, okay. Let's now debut on our show, Mr. Toyboy's brand new song, Magical. Okay, good beat so far. I like this I'll just stop you right there We arrive at the same time You said this was poetic Same town Oh, same town, same time, same town. I'll just stop you right there. We arrive at the same time?

You said this was poetic. Same town. Oh, same town, same time. Same time, same town. O-town. Wink. At the same time. Is that what everybody's drawing from that?

A universal nod from producers. This is filthy. I was told. I was told I would be shook up. Okay, we'll carry on. You got me tied up, no. Wait'll carry on. You got me tied up. Wait, pause. He's got me tied up.

You've got him tied up? Megan. It says it's metaphorical. You've got me tied up. What's going to happen in this music video tomorrow? Unpause. You got me spinning round Out of control

You make me do things most People don't want to do With every taste of you Pause. The very taste of you. Like Megan LeWay's Angela Papadopoulos Salad. It's like experience, you know? No, I don't.

Can I leave the studio? You may not take your leave of absence. I can't really breathe. I can't really breathe. You've got me on my knees And you got me on my knees I can't really breathe. I can't really breathe. You've got me on my knees. You've got him tied up. This is, you're ruining the flow. This is the taste situation

that I don't know how to deal with on the radio. See, you're going to ruin the poetic nature of the song for everyone who just wants to listen to it. Megan, this is very sexually charged. No, it's not. It's euphem very sexually charged. No, it's not. It's euphemisms and, like, metaphors, and it's poetic. I'm begging, please, and teasing,

and pleasing you. And pause. Teasing, begging, teasing, pleasing. Begging, teasing, pleasing you. You two are going to look at us, please. I can't. This is disgusting filth. Oh, no. What's that Christian group? They're going to look at us, please. I can't. This is disgusting filth. Oh, no.

What's that Christian group? They're going to want to. Family first. Family first. Oh, I thought you were going to say Christian Grey. Family first. Very Christian Grey. Family first will be picketing us.

Unboard. Until you try it. I've even got you on your knees and I will have you begging please. Magic, magic, magic. You got me spinning round out of control. Magic, magic. See, it's nice. Magic. Well, it's magic.

With every taste of you. And pause. Again. I can't help it. Is that the chorus? Is that going to be in multiple times? Magic, well it's magic. And pause again. I can't help it. Is that the chorus? Is that going to be in multiple times? I thought it was a one-off. Megan, we can't play this.

This is filth. Absolute filth. It's like reading erotic fan fiction about your sister. It's not. It's very stressful. We played it to his mum and she said I like the lyrics and the story Bourne's fallen off of his chair It's a nice story

Mr Toyboy Magical What do you actually have to search? Andrew Pappas That's a real name Listen to the whole song I don't know What do you actually have to search? Andrew Pappas. Oh, yeah. That's a real name. Listen to the whole song. Oh, I don't know. Oh, God, my hands are sweaty.

Okay. Oh, he's still tied up. I'm stopping that song. That's disgusting. I'm really looking forward to seeing this music video. Yes. You're a bitch. Thank you for everybody who's concerned.

After Fletch and I were exposed to Toyboy's new lyrics and a breakdown about if we can look Megan in the eye, I just looked just then and I had to look away. Yeah, it's like finding something out about your sister, isn't it? Mm, a little bit. You know, so that jab you said about, oh, now we finally realise how Megan landed Toyboy? Yeah. Rude.

That magic. Taste of the rainbow, apparently. Like a pack of Skittles. And I said that and I got away with that. And I was like, oh, that was good. I got away with that. And then she processed what I said and was appalled. Yeah. I mean, it was complimented, but also. Good on was like, oh, that was good. I got away with that. And then she processed what I said and was appalled. Yeah.

I mean, it was complimented, but also. Good on you. Don't. That's not. Why are you confused? People want to hear the whole song. Andrew Pappas on Spotify, right? I can search that then.

Yeah. It's called Magical. It's the song. Fantastic. Now, yesterday on the show, we spoke with Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, our first interview with her since she has come back after maternity leave. Now, this is what happened while we were speaking with her. Now you've got your own in the mix.

You've got a child. There it is. Perfect timing. These timings. Yes, girl. She's like, present. She just wanted to make sure that she had her voice heard. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I love her already. Is this actually her first radio interview? That was probably the first time she's been here. Exclusive. Exclusive. There we go. We'll clickbait some people later with the exclusive.

And we did. And we did. We did. We knew exactly what we were doing when we titled it. What was it titled? Baby Neve's First Ever Radio Interview is what the Herald put up. We sent it up saying, just clickbait people with us. It's what you do in media.

They were like, hey, we've got to get some clicks through the website. Sweet. This will get the people commenting, get some good insights on a Facebook post. And didn't it though? Well, it did. Wow. We knew. I said afterwards I was like, you know when you put that up, it's gonna get

people having a go. Because people just love having a go. Regardless of what side of the political spectrum you fall on. Yeah, true. Well, it has. And I don't actually ever read comments on news stories. But these ones were particularly funny. Yeah, I've got to be in a particularly

good frame of mind to go into any comment section, really, because it just makes me sad in people. I just, on Facebook, I just unfollowed all the news services. All of them. Because you don't get news alerts, because sometimes I have to break news to you. Yeah, thanks.

And I know if it comes through you, it's had a good filter on it, but I don't need to know that Auckland Airport saw a bird. Breaking news. A seagull. That's all it said. I was like, I'm out. So the Herald put up saying that Zedine's Fletch,

Fawn and Megan had the first baby of New Zealand on air for an exclusive chat. Have a watch for yourself. And then the headline, baby news first ever radio interview. Perfectly what we asked for. Yeah. And 100% knowingly putting clickbait in it.

If you heard us on the show, you would have known when it popped up. No surprise. Well, that's not the case for some old mates because some of the comments are as follows. Lance. Yeah. Writes,

how the hell can a baby be interviewed? I thought this baby was going to be staying out of the media. It's quite sickening now. So that's right. Lance, a happy looking older chap, just called a baby sickening. Good on you Lance.

Sometimes you've got to think about these things before you type it. Somebody else said, now why has this baby been called the first baby? It's certainly not to most people. She's not in line for the throne, nor is her mother. It's just a term. Eileen writes, this is immature and a waste of space and time.

Come on, Jacinda. You should respect all voters' opinions as Prime Minister, and that includes those who are bored to death with baby reports. To which Megan replied, come on, Eileen. Yes! I really like that, Megan. I really like that. Eileen didn't comment back.

No, of course not. I'm guessing she's sick of that. Anyone called Eileen would be. There's just, like, inaneane, like conspiracy theory ramblings. It's, Billy writes, this baby better enjoy its time as first baby because when Gemma and Richie have theirs,

that'll be the real first baby of New Zealand. I don't know if it's like a competition. I don't know if Richie and Gemma were like, well, it's time. It's time. It's time to create a super athlete baby. Yeah.

The real first baby. Just really. Just don't read the comments. Comparing Jacinda to a Kardashian, I don't know how that relates. Yeah. At all. Kit writes, what the hell happened to keeping the baby private and out of the media? She happened to be holding it when we were speaking to her.

There was an interaction between women. Some of them had babies in their profile picture being like, I thought this baby wasn't going to be used for publicity. We were talking to a mother at 10 to 8 in the morning. Yeah. If it wasn't with her.

And she was holding her child while she was on the phone. One of her more casual radio interviews of the week. Yeah. And if Niamh wasn't with her, people would been like, who's looking out for the baby? You can't win, Keith.

You can't win. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is something that people who know this will be like, right, can't believe people didn't know this. But then people like me who just learnt it were just like, mind-blowing. Mind-blowing. Hey, Anna, this will be another one of those,

sorry, Intern Anya, I've addressed you by your actual birth name there. That felt weird. Intern Anya, this will be another one of those, great, I was today years old when, because that CC Chips one Went alright didn't it The internet department Talking about it out there Thumbs ups all round

In real life As well as online Cause I didn't know this Okay The joke How did the Why did the chicken Cross the road

Why did the chicken Cross the road First appeared in 1847 Okay In a magazine A New York City magazine Called the Knickerbocker Okay Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did the chicken cross the road? First appeared in 1847. Okay. In a magazine, a New York City magazine called The Knickerbocker. Okay. And since then has become sort of synonymous with the joke that, you know, a non-punchline joke.

You think it's a joke, but then it's just a direct telling. It's not. Why did the chicken cross the road? Yeah. To get to the other side is a chicken killing itself, but a double meaning on it. So you'd cross the road to get to the other side of the road, but this chicken was walking into the, because it came with a picture,

it was walking into busy traffic to get to the other side. The other side as in like chicken heaven or chicken hell or chicken purgatory. That meme's not going to work. That's not going to be as good as the CC's one. Nah, it's not, Abe. I was today years old. No.

Take it to the whip. See what's happening. But I had no idea. When I read this, I was like, oh my God. I've always just considered that one of those anti-jokes. Yeah. Like, of course, it's just crossing the road. Yeah.

Why is it crossing the road? There doesn't always need to be a joke here. It's just getting to the other side. But the chicken is actually, like, walking into traffic. Yeah. To get to the other side. How grim. Very grim.

Peachy fact to end the week on. Yeah, I know. It's a little bit grim, eh? But it changed the whole thing. Like, I'm like, is the chicken all right? I don't know if I'll say that now. Or, you know. What happened is the chicken all right? Yeah. You know?

What happened to the chicken? Had it escaped a factory farm? Sure. That led them to that point. That led it to just be like, I'm in. And you think about 1847. It wouldn't have been cars. It would have been wagons. Oh, you're true.

Horses, wagons, trains, those sorts of things. It would have been a grizzly. Grizzly scene. Very painful death for the chicken. So today's fact of the day is that joke, why did the chicken cross the road, is actually pretty grim. Yeah. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. A study has been done and it looks into the ages we peak

and attractiveness to the opposite sex. Okay. So I guess it works for online daters, what people are looking for, but maybe they don't even realise what age they're looking for. Okay. This is going to have you shooketh. Okay. So apparently women peak at the age of 18

and then swiftly go downhill until they're 65. Jeez. And attractiveness to... That is grim. That's not true though, surely. Like peak at 18. I would like to present to you Kate Beckinsale. You're a massive fan of her.

You're a huge fan. Blew my mind. She's like 46. I was just like... And look at people like Jennifer Aniston. Yeah. Like Gwen Stefani. Yeah, I don't know about that.

Women in their 40s who are just like insanely... They're anomalies though. Yeah, I don't know about that. Women in their 40s who are just like insanely. They're anomalies though. Yeah, I guess maybe. Meanwhile, men peak at 50. What? Which is why you see a lot of older guys with like quite young like partners. Because the women find the older guys at 50 really attractive and vice versa.

Do they find their wallets, their fat wallets attractive? Well, maybe. Is it more of a sugar daddy thing? I think it might actually be more chemical than that because people are always going like, oh, dig it. It might be something more like caveman. They just really dig like, there's heaps of 50-year-old dudes like we always talk about a lot. Isn't it like Barack like, there's heaps of 50-year-old dudes, like, we always talk about how hot.

Isn't it like Barack Obama? He's like 50, eh? Yeah, he's like late 50s now. He's banging. You wouldn't say no? No. And George Clooney, like, all of the silver foxes. We always talk about how hot they are.

But then, yeah, apparently 18 is where the women peak. Now, is this just appearance or is this kind of like knowing yourself? Well, there's a whole lot of things that go into it. So, apparently women want brains and men care less. Exactly.

That's what I was, when you read this out, I was thinking it'll be older guys, they're kind of, they are who they're going to be. They've become who they're going to be. They're sure of themselves.

But at 18, like, dudes are very confused. And they might not recognise that they're confusing themselves. But, I become who they're going to be. But at 18, dudes are very confused and they might not recognise that they're confused themselves. But I mean, look back on your Facebook statuses and stuff you made

when you were that age. You should be like, you're a douchebag. 50 year old dudes are rocking a bit of like worldly confidence. Yeah. I've seen some things.

This is it. This is what you get. Yeah, right. But yeah, it's pretty scary for online dating. CDM's Fletch, Vaughan, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty scary for online dating. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast.

For more, check out ZDM Online.