ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 23 2018

Episode Date: August 22, 2018

Vaughan got a massage, Swipemares and how much have you spent on a game?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I love the story in the news, Arnie, about the survival of the slackest. It's just what we need to hear. But the thing about the slacker is that there needs to be somebody doing the work.

Yeah, because it's just like a video game when you hide and you need to let someone else do all the work. Yeah. Yeah, somebody needs to do it. Like on WALL-E, you know the movie about the robot that's left behind to clean up the earth? WALL-E!

The people on the ship are cared for by robots and we don't have the robot technology yet to do all the earth. Wally. Wally. The people on the ship are cared for by robots and we don't have the robot technology yet to do all the stuff. Yeah, right. And I don't know if you've seen that movie but that didn't end well

for them. Yeah. They kind of realised that the slobbishness and stuff didn't long term work great. So don't slack off just yet.

I don't know. It's a weird one, isn't it? Semi-slack off? Yeah. No, that's how we get by. We've got the rest of ZM. They do the work. Shh.

And we... Megan, you don't tell people what the plan. Luckily they're not awake yet. Let's never repeat this in their waking hours. So Secret Sound

is back this morning at 8 o'clock. We'll do this. God, I was screaming at the radio yesterday. Did you hear the guests yesterday at 5 o'clock? No. What this. God, I was screaming at the radio yesterday. Did you hear the guests yesterday at 5 o'clock? No.

What was it? It was like the seat latch in your car. It's like it's obviously not in a car. Did you not see the video? Because we weren't in the car. We weren't in a car. It's obviously not in a car. Yeah, that's right.

That's true. Well, the clues aren't there. We did a tour of Soundkeeper Annabelle's house. Somewhere in that video is whatever makes the secret sound. And her car was not in that video. Oh, God, I was like, what a waste. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time.

Story time. I've got three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, easy rider. Headline two, kidnapper falls asleep and headline three cause of death Doritos nacho cheese those are the headlines yeah I was number one again it was very quick easy rider oh I want three Oh I want one Death of death

What? Cause of death Cause of death Doritos nacho cheese Or Easy Rider Headline one What are you thinking? I want three

But I'm willing to Make a Thursday Megan What? What are you Googling? Is it about an alpaca, the Dorito one? Did an alpaca die? Megan, you are breaching the Geneva Convention.

This is in Florida. Of rules. Someone dumped a whole bunch of Doritos and an alpaca died an agonising death after I ate them. Why? I them. Why? I know. How? Doritos.

It turns out alpacas can't eat Doritos. What's in the Dorito that they can't metabolise? I don't know, just delicious flavour. I don't know. Or was it an alpaca from a skull? Oh, that's sad. Skulls have alpacas. That's awesome.

What a cool school kid. I know. Yeah, it was agonising. I guess it's either Easy Rider or Kidnapper Falls Asleep. Easy Rider. Easy Rider. Okay, this is a really simple story. There's really nothing to the story apart from a headline and a video,

which might be a little bit lost on the radio, but I guess we'll go for it anyway. Okay. Video. This is all it says. Video, colon. Man seen on I-95 in Jacksonville driving a Harley Davidson with his feet.

Oh. What? So, people were on the I-95 and next to them, a man on a Harley Davidson. I'm showing Megan and Vaughn the video now. That was it. Oh, was that it?

Literally five seconds. Did he have arms? A guy was laid back. Yeah. How was he accelerating? Because you have to use your wrist to accelerate on a motorbike. I wonder if there's an autopilot on Harley Davidson's. Oh, like a cruise control?

Like a cruise control. Okay. Can you hit that? Can you refresh that again? Oh, like a cruise control. Like a cruise control. Okay. Can you hit that? Can you refresh that again? Oh, yeah. Okay. This is a stupid browser video thing. It's gone to another video.

Okay. It might pop up an ad. Here we go. So, yeah, his feet are... One of them is over the handlebar. He's in shorts and no shirt as well. Yeah. And no helmet.

Crazy, eh? He's just reclined on it. I really need to see more of this. What? Do you remember the first time as a kid you tried to ride a bike with no hands? Oh, yeah. What a terrifying moment. I used to be able to ride my bike as a kid all the time, no hands.

Okay, what about now? Not now. I was like, the other day I biked out around the bays and then I had a little drinks break. Yeah. And I unclipped my helmet and then I started riding and then I was like oh my helmet's undone and I was like

I'm going to do it with no hands I'm going to do it with no hands I was like that's the perfect time to see if you can still ride with no hands

is when you take your hands off to do what the very thing that's going to save your life should you not yeah you know what I did it

but it was wonky it was wobbly oh yeah I could ride all the way well primary school was like a k and a was wobbly. Oh, yeah. I could ride all the way. Well, primary school was like a K and a half way, but it was uphill and stuff. You could ride all the way there, all the way back, no hands. Easy when you're a kid. Now.

Yeah, now I'm just, I guess you don't do it as much. Yeah, you don't do it as much. So the old saying, it's like riding a bike, extends to the point of taking your hands off. Because it's like riding a bike you never forget. Unless you're taking your hands off, then you need to keep that practice nice and warm. Millennials are about to be outnumbered. So in 2019, Gen Zers

will take up 32% of the global population. What's there? What's the Gen Z? People born... Is it after... Well, it's the next one after millennials, right? Is it 2000? No, no, it'll be like mid-90s. So Gen Z is the generation to be named the people born between 95 and 2005.

Gen Z. Right. Because they're currently between... There was confusion that millennials were people born around the millennium, but it was people who remember it more, wasn't it? People that were teenagers or kids. Yeah. So if you're a Gen Z, you are currently between the ages of 3 and 23.

Yeah. Right. Because people born in 2001 are going to be 18 next year. That's scary. But this means that, yeah, Gen Zers are going to take up the 32% of the global population. And apparently millennials are self-centered and they're all about like, what's in it for me?

What am I going to get out of this? Where apparently Gen Zers are more self-aware because they've only grown up in a digital world. They've never known a non-digital world. They've grown up in the war on terror and global recession. So they're more... Do you know what? They've never been in a cockpit.

What do you mean? Oh, yeah, of a plane. Take that. No, because every now and then... Oh, then they'll let you have a little peek. Or when you walk cockpit. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, of a plane. Take that. No, because every now and then... Oh, then they'll let you have a little peek. Or when you walk out. Only when you land. Only when you've landed.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. True. Okay, let me rephrase. I've never been in a cockpit. Cockpit in the air. Oh, I haven't. I remember when I was a real little kid, I got to. Yeah, we were going on Kiwi Air to the Gold Coast from Hamilton.

Kiwi Air. Anyone who was in the Hamilton in the 90s remembers a good bit of Kiwi, yeah. And they would let us go up mid-flight. Yeah. They took us up. Wasn't that post 9-11? No, no, that was pre-9-11. Oh, was it?

Yeah, you know, that would have been... They weren't that low. 97? Oh, right, okay. Yeah, pre-9-11. Lucky, we snuck in there. Snuck in there. It didn't mean we snuck into the cockpit.

We snuck in pre-9-11. Yeah, right, okay. It was just a different world. Yeah. But so what, population-wise, Gen Z, there's going to be more of them. Yeah. Can't wait to start hearing some more about Gen Z. Well, that's the thing they said.

Every time there's like, you know, a new group takes over population-wise, there's new factors and they bring something new to the table. So they sound more or less selfish than millennials. I don't think millennials have got a bad rap. Same, I think that too. I just think that millennial generation's got such a bad rap. I feel like millennials way more into caring about social issues and the environment than older generations. Yeah.

100%. Way more outwardly focused. Yeah. Yeah, because the same old people that are telling people in their 20s and early 30s that they're selfish also like are selfish about everything.

Yeah. Well, no, I've paid tax for 20 years. I simply shan't anymore. I've had a 400% increase in my property tax-free. Yeah. That's my favourite. Don't want to have to pay tax on it from now. I mean, the majority of money's already been made,

but I certainly don't want to have to pay tax on it. So, yeah, I think it's going to be interesting. And then the great question is, what's after Gen Z? Who's looking forward? How do they name them? I'm really interested to see how... Well, they've gone through the alphabet. I don't know where Generation X came from.

Do they start again? Well, where's Millennials? It was like Generation X. Y, Gen Y. And then Millennials. Yeah, I don't know. And then they've gone back to Z. So it's like when they named the iPhones and they went X after the size.

I wonder if they're going to start going into punctuation because, you know, when you get to the end of the alphabet and you just go through an alphabet, it gets to punctuation, generation full stop, semicolon. And was Jesus Gen A? No. Oh, well, who was Gen A? I don't know if there has been a Gen A.

Oh. Well, why did we start at X? Also, if you believe all that, Jesus would have been well was Gen A? I don't know if there has been a Gen A. Oh. Well, why did we start at X? Also, if you believe all that, Jesus would have been well before Gen A. Right. It would have been Generation Decimal Point. Generation OG, I think. Yeah. According to the book.

Generation JC when they had two letters. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. On July 7, 2003, the Mars rover Opportunity was launched from Earth. It landed in 2004 and it had an expected life cycle of 90 Earth days. Well, here we are 13 years later later, and it's still going. Wow. Pretty cool, hey? It's traveled over 45 kilometers in its time around a certain little valley in Mars.

And it's, yeah, it's lived for longer than 55 times its designed lifespan. Some amazing technology. Yeah. What's the secret? Is it its diet? It's keto. It only eats rocks. Small glass of red wine every day.

And only eats sun and dark chocolate. But in June this year there was a massive dust storm and it obscured the sun. And it's a huge solar powered unit. So now they're kind of sadly waiting to hear from it.

Waiting to hear a beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It's a little fault detection system. Yeah, two months the storm's been raging. And it sounds like it was quite an intense storm, so I'm wondering if it might have done some damage. Hopefully not. Hopefully the solar panels aren't too covered in dust

but we're waiting to see if we're going to hear from it. And they're saying they might have to reboot it but how do you do that? Well, the top six ways to reboot the Mars rover.

Opportunity. Here we go. Number six, take the batteries out, blow on them and then put them back in the other way. Like,

so you take the battery that was on the left and you spin it upside down and put it where the battery on the right was and vice versa. That'll work on a remote control. It should probably work

on a Mars Rover. Will it? Well, my remote control's newer than the Mars Rover when you think about it. 13 years old it is. That's crazy.

Number five on the top six ways to reboot the Mars Rover opportunity are control-alt-delete. Just hold it down. It's a good one. Yeah, Crazy. Number five on the top six ways to reboot the Mars rover opportunity, control-alt-delete. Just hold it down. It's a good one. Yeah, or for Apple users, go to the Apple menu,

force quit Mars opportunity. And then restart it. Double-click it on the desktop. Number four on the list of the top six ways to reboot the Mars rover after this dust storm on Mars, take the cartridge out, blow in the cartridge, blow in the cartridge hole, then put it back in and turn it back on.

That used to work a treat for cartridge-based gaming systems. I'm imagining. Of the same era. It could very well work for the Mars Rover. Number three, let's just pull it out of the wall. Wait 30 seconds. And then plug it back in. You'd be amazed at what that will fix.

Yeah, well, that's how you do your route, hooray, but they're always like, wait 10 seconds or however long. I'm always just like, off, on.

No, you've not waited. No, I can't wait that long. I'm too impatient. I always pull it out, walk away, maybe go to the toilet, pass a bit of time, then come back

and I say to Sade, why is the Wi-Fi not working? She's like, you've unplugged it at the wall. I was like, how long have I been doing that? She's like, four hours. I was like, where does time go? Plug it back in and it's working again. Number two on the list of the top six ways to reboot the Mars Rover. Jump

started with your mate's car using jumper cables that you've borrowed off somebody else that was parked nearby. Yum. That's always the way to do it with an old car. Yeah, it's a classic. You should carry jumper cables, but you just never do. You just think,

I must get some now. I won't let this happen again. And then it does. And the number one way to reboot the Mars Rover, give it a whack or a tech tap, as they call it in the business.

Just a bit of a light bang. Come on, mate. Come on. Just... Or try all six things at once. That is today's top six. This has been touted as the latest internet challenge. Other internet challenges are the Ice Bucket Challenge, which was fantastic.

Raised millions of dollars for the research. Yeah. Didn't it find a cure in the end or fund enough money to. It made a huge difference. Yeah. Was it a cure or was it like medication or... Yeah, it was... Enroads.

It was something, wasn't it? Yeah, it was quite something. There's been dumb internet challenges. Well, there's the Tide Pod challenge of recent. Obviously, we don't get Tide Pods here, but... But then I see, I think that was one of those ones that the media, the panic media, and I don't like to count us as panic media,

but the panic media that kind of trades on the panic of people really made way more of a deal out of. It was really only two people that ate them. Got really, really sick. And more old people die from eating Tide Pods every year because they have dementia and they see them and they look like old hard-boiled sweets, which is way more of a story, right?

That's how I'd want to go. Bubbling out the nose. He thought it was a lolly. He thought it was a lolly. That's a good way to go, right? That would be a good headstone. He thought it was a lolly. Carl Fletcher, he thought it was a lolly.

Hey, I'm fine with that. From start to end, he thought it was a lolly. Well. Hey, that's, I'm fine with that. From start to end, he thought it was a lolly. Well, this one's dumb and it's been around for a little while, but jump back into the news. Again, panic media. And maybe I'm just making it worse by talking about this. You say we've done this. We have done this.

You and I have done this. In a professional capacity, supervised by professionals in 2010. Oh, no. Supervised by professionals Okay In 2010 Oh No We were set on fire At a stunt Yes Oh that's right On the Galdi

Yeah On the Galdi We went to the stunt School Yeah Which was so much fun It was incredible We did a whole lot of things

So we One of them was Being set on fire A fire suit Yep And then Multiple layers of clothes Multiple A fire suit. Yep. Multiple layers of clothes. Multiple.

A fire suit, other things. And then over the top were the overalls. And that was what they doused in. Kerosene or something. Something. Terps. I wasn't happy because there was no real training for that. They're like just, what did they say?

Just run and then lie down on the ground. Be on fire. And when you start feeling really hot is when you just start rolling on the ground and we on fire, and when you start feeling really hot is when you just start rolling on the ground, and we'll spray you with a fire extinguisher. But it's nuts. And then after they put you out, you can still feel the heat. Yeah, and you smell a little bit, obviously, like kerosene or gasoline.

Yeah, and you can feel the heat for quite some time after you get it off. It was quite fun, though. Oh, great photos. Could you see the flames in front of your eyes? Not really. It was mostly on your back and sort of your shoulders and stuff. That's why now when you see, like, that Game of Thrones episode in the last season when the dragon just, spoiler alert, but the dragon just really makes a mess of things

and you see people on fire, you've got wild appreciation for those stuntmen having it all over them, not just on their back. Yeah, yeah. They're fully engulfed. So this is an internet challenge that teenagers are just doing, but rather than doing it with the safety of a professionally trained squad, it's just sort of like nail polish remover and a lighter.

Oh, my God. The latest situation is a 12-year-old. Brandy Owen said her and her daughter, her daughter and her had two friends over. Yeah. And they were having pancakes. So that sounds like breakfast to me, but hey, pancakes are an anytime meal.

Yeah. So no judge. No judge. She said she was lying down. She heard a poof, like a bang. And then her 12-year-old ran past her bedroom door on fire. Jesus. She said it was horrendous. And then this article'syear-old ran past her bedroom door on fire. Jesus. She said it was horrendous.

And then this article's looked into the history of it and it's been around for ages. A mum has even been arrested for assisting her 15-year-old to take part in it by filming it and lighting them. Come on. What's the idea that you put it on YouTube and it gets hits? Yeah, yeah. Right, okay.

If you survive. If you survive. Well, that's the thing. This 12- on YouTube and you get hits. Yeah, yeah. Right, okay. If you survive. If you survive. Well, that's the thing. This 12-year-old is on a ventilator, needs a feeding tube, has third-degree burns to most of her body, and is covered in bandages and will be for the foreseeable future. That never happened at my school, this kind of carry-on. I remember some dickheads spraying themselves with deodorant

and then lighting it. And it would go, whoosh. What was the outcome they were hoping for? I don't know. And there was no YouTube. And I was a dumb idiot. There was no YouTube then. There was no chance to get hits from that.

It wasn't even like a digital camera to get a good bitmap picture. It was like, whoosh. Then they'd be like, oh, it's burning. You're like, what do you reckon, you moron? You dumb dummy, you idiot. And now they're all earning heaps of money working in the mines in Australia, so I guess the joke's on me. It's Fish, Foam and Me.

Swipe, swipe this morning is Amelia. Good morning, Amelia. Good morning. How are you? Good. Now, Swipe Mears, for those that maybe are new to the show and have never heard it before, it's a chance for people to relive, recount their very first meet-ups on dating apps.

Yeah. A lot of the popular ones, Tinder, Grindr. Looking back and laughing, but also forewarning for other users to avoid the same traps. Although we do like to learn ourselves, don't we? Don't we? Amelia, so what happened?

So I met this quite good looking guy. We were chatting for a bit. And then of course we got to the conversation of what are you looking for on here so I told him my answer and his reply to me was he's looking for a relationship however he has a bit of a special sexual interest and it's quite early to bring that up right yeah I always think it depends on how interesting the sexual interest is, really. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was

quite a funny thing to say, so I kind of egged him on a little bit and was like, you know, okay, that's fine. Thank you for being honest. Do you want to kind of exaggerate on that a little bit? Yeah. A little bit more, and at first he was a bit shy. Like, he actually asked if I could add him on Snapchat,

which I'm really glad I didn't, but to have him to tell me what it was. But I said, you know, it's fine, you know, just tell me on here. I'm sure it'll be okay. I mean, I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm not going to tell anyone. Definitely not on the radio. Yeah, I'm not going to tell anyone. Yeah.

So he then went and told me that he's looking for a girlfriend who will go out and sleep with other guys and then come back to him so he can have seconds. Oh. Oh. What? That's not. Okay.

Right. That's kind of like thinking along the lines of, like, your normal fetishes. He's kind of chubby. Yeah, what happened to the good old days where you sucked your partner's foot in traffic? I mean, that was only last week, but it feels like we've come such a long way since then. I feel like he's doing that thing people do

when they've been in a relationship for ages and they're like, oh, just go out and explore. How long is ages? I've been in a relationship for, like, 14 years and that hasn't popped up. Wow, that's bizarre. Did he, without being too perfect, like explain why he liked that?

No, I didn't really want to get into too much more detail with it. He did kind of say he was a very loyal partner, but I said, look, I think you're lovely. I just don't think I'm your girl, so good luck. And then I quickly unmatched him. And you said he was really hot too. Yeah, yeah, he was quite a good looking guy. He was a young working professional, you know, so.

It's always the professionals. It's always the professionals, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, in the suits, you know, they look really nice. Are they bored with their job or something? Yeah. Yeah, they. Mm. Wow, okay, so you didn't even.

I would have been like, hey, I'm not into it, but if you don't mind I've got follow up questions Yeah I know Yeah my girlfriends That I share everything with Are going to be like Really angry

If I don't ask The following questions Sorry Yeah that's it Amelia thank you so much For sharing And if you have Your own Swipe Me

You can message Our Facebook page Our inbox FVMZM And we're going to Hook you up Amelia With a Swipe Me's prize pack. Congratulations.

Thank you so much, guys. Have a great day. For the last 10 years, I would have thought the nickname that I'm about to give it would wrap it up quite nicely, Hamilton's favourite little shithole. It's certainly endearing. Well, that's one way of putting it Bar 101 in Hamilton is Leaving the CBD

Well it's not leaving it's just closing down Bar 101 is closing It's doors after 10 years in Hamilton Is it being forced to close or is it just The C word condemned No that hasn't been used It's going to be renovated. The block, the area is going to be.

It's going to turn into like a hotel and other things, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Other things done with the property. So it's got a couple of weeks left. And then that's it. RIP Bar 101. September 15 is going to be its last. Hoorah!

In Central Hamilton. A bar. We've been there a couple of times. In the daytime even. We've been in the daylight to set things up. I think it's worse in the daylight. I will never ever forget Megan's face

when she walked out of the toilets before we did our Fact of the Day pub quiz there. And she's like, oh my God, there's no hot water. No, but there was not even any toilet paper. It's been like going to spookers during the day. There wasn't even any toilet paper. You can see everything and you're like.

And the floor was sticky. And at night time, like you can't tell if there's a window there or not. But there's not. At day time you can see there's no glass in the paint. Oh, there was a half a window. So many memories over 10 years, eh? So, because I feel the same way, you know, like, RIP a lot of Christchurch bars after the earthquake.

But that, oh, heck yes. Heck yes. We've got some fond memories of the Grumpy Mole one. Was it the Grumpy, was the Grumpy Mole the one with the party of the spa pool? Yes. Was that the Grumpy Mole? Yeah. I'll never forget it.

I know you won't. I'll never forget it. Shooters over the road?umpy Mall? Yeah. I'll never forget it. I know you won't. I'll never forget it. Shooters over the road? Yeah, I know. I'll never forget it. These are places that, you know, people now, and when does that happen? 2011, so. Yeah, I mean, there'll be 20-something-year-olds that never went to these bars.

I know. Oh! Oh, you're missing out. The history. The Holy Grail. Oh, that was the one I was trying to think of. The big screen in the sort of well. Bliss it.

Great place to watch the rugby, but just great place to have a few drinks as well. These bars come and go, don't they? They don't always last forever. They do. They do. I mean, there's the odd exception. The Outback seems to be the absolute anomaly. Nothing can stop it.

Do you know what I think? What? It's the secret. It's like there's some sort of blind, some sort of special magic. Yeah. And when the Outback

shuts down, my marriage is going to crumble. That's what I was saying. It can't ever shut down because you are the magic. Outback is magic to you. So what's,

what's, are we holding, Sade and I holding the Outback together or is the Outback holding us together? Let's never know. Let's all just

keep functioning. I don't want to roll the dice on that one. The Outback, holding the Outback together or is the Outback holding us together? Let's never know. Let's all just keep functioning. I don't want to roll the dice on that one. The Outback, if the Outback needed to be saved, I'd probably have to buy it. Right. Just to save it. Just to save your marriage. The day they're like,

the Outback shut down, they're like, the Outback's no more. Click. I wake up in the morning and Sade rolls over, look at me and she's like, who are you? And I'm like, oh no!

There would have been so many people that have met their partners at Bar 101 or the Outback. Oh, so many bars that no longer exist, that forever exist in people's memories because they have such great times there. And while, you know, there are probably a lot of memories

that you can't remember from these bars as well. True. Everybody's got a favourite memory. So a couple of weeks of Bar 101 in Hamilton left before it shuts down, but the Outback's still going strong. And you've got Bar 101 in Auckland too, which is much nicer. That's what everyone wants to hear.

The Auckland one is much nicer. Bar 101 knew its demo. It did. It knew an 18-year-old going to Waikato Polytech, whatever it's called now. The uni, yeah. It knew that they wouldn't care about a smashed window and no hot water in the bathroom

and no toilet paper and a sticky floor if it meant a $2 cruiser. It was knowing your audience. It was, yeah. It was knowing your audience. But yeah, it's the end of it after 10 years. It's been a legendary spot. We should just go in with safety goggles and a sledgehammer,

like on the last Saturday night. Everyone gets one on entry. Well, they should have a demo party. That'd be great. Oh, yeah, that's a great idea, giving drunk 18-year-old sledgehammers. Oh, yeah, okay. Why not?

What constitutes cheating? What do people define as cheating? And I guess it varies for everyone. So there's been a survey done and it's asked people what they think is cheating. Copying the answers of the person sitting next to you. In a relationship. That's all we want to talk about this morning. Thanks, next song.

I'm just trying not to get people in trouble. This feels like already one of those chats about that book. She's just not that into you. One of the questions was, is it inappropriate to like other people's thirst traps? Wow, that is. Like, for example, someone's photo on Instagram.

Yeah. And a bikini. Or it's like, I love my new necklace. And like, the necklace is this tiny little pin in the middle, but like, heaving boobage around it. And then your boyfriend likes it. You're like, come on, man. So that's a thirst trap. Do you like your necklace?

Do you? I wouldn't like that. Even if I really liked the necklace, because I know while the necklace featured, it wasn't a post about the necklace. No. You just squeezed your boobs together with something. But I mean, like, while you might be like, why'd you like that? It's not cheating. So

there's a whole list of things and percentages of how many people surveyed think these things are cheating. I'll go from the least to the most and some of these like you'd get in so much trouble. I don't want to spoil it. I'm not in a relationship. I'm allowed to do things.

I think I can predict number one. Is it putting your genitals in or on somebody else's genitals? No. It's not? No. It's not? Do you know? What is more cheating than that?

That's not even in there. No, but because that's obvious, right? That is cheating. That's cheating. We know that's cheating. Oh, so these are things that people... Maybe, maybe, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That are on that kind of... This will be interesting. Yeah. So 13% think fantasizing about someone else is cheating. Just... But then why would you tell them? The trick is never just fantasizing about one person at once. Just have that face rolling.

Right. Have it like... It's a rotating head and there's a different face and they just keep... I'm only kidding. Right. Like a Rubik's Cube of faces. And they just keep, I'm only kidding. Right. Like a Rubik's cube of faces. You are.

What? What are you doing? But then it's more like you get a bit lost. You're like, what's going on here? Are you like a robot head? Are you an android? What are you talking about? I don't know.

What are you talking about? You're digging a hole. You're on your own, mate. No one can save you. But Megan, if Toyboy admitted to you, Mr. Toyboy, that had been fantasizing about someone in a dream. Oh, I'd be wildly pissed. But it was just a dream.

No, no, no. Because dreams, you can't really control dreams. Right. Yeah. What about fantasizing about a celebrity who is out of reach? Oh, that's all right. But fantasizing about someone that is in reach. Unless it's Emily Raditowski.

Oh, come on. I don't like that. She's like completely, no one's ever going to reach her. She's like an anomaly. Have you seen her husband? He gave every guy great hopes. Really? Her husband is the most average looking dude.

No, I think he's cute. Cute, but not like in the same league. Right. Like he was playing Ripper rugby and somehow he's made it to the All Blacks. No one's in her league. She's an anomaly. Yeah. Communicating with their ex.

16% say that's cheating. So they could just be texting. Ex to what degree? If you've got like kids with somebody, I think that's a super important form of communication. And some people are friends with their ex. Like, you communicate with your ex-husband,

but that doesn't mean you're going back to him, does it? No. Going out to dinner with someone who is the opposite sex. Just going out to dinner.

Oh, but then that's weird. No, but I go out to dinner with you guys. Oh, yeah, but you know, right? That we're workmates. No, that's so weird. If you were going out with just one person of the opposite sex and you didn't tell them, you'd be like, what is happening here?

If you didn't tell them, 100%. Even if you did tell them, that's weird though, eh? Is it weird like just one-on-one? Like as soon as there's more people. It's got to be more people. If it's business, that's fine. If it's an old friend, that's fine. If it's someone you already know, that's fine. But if it's like someone you don't know, that's more just be more people. If it's business, that's fine. If it's an old friend, that's fine. If it's someone you already know, that's fine.

But if it's like someone you don't know, that's more just weird than anything. If it's someone off Tinder, definitely cheating. Casual flirting with someone other than your partner is 18%. That's 18%. People think that's cheating. Yeah, but that's how I get stuff done. Use the cute mug. Light bit of flirt.

Get everything. No, that's how you go to HR. Born. Hey, I need something photocopied. G'day, gorgeous. Oh, yuck. G'day, sweetheart. I don't do that, by the way.

We're joking, obviously. I just don't photocopy anything. Spending time with your ex-partner is 29%. Again, if you don't have kids. Why are you doing that? Why are you going back there? If you're with someone for a long time. Yeah, but why are you hanging out one-on-one with them? Why? I don not there. But if you're with someone for a long time. Yeah. But why are you hanging out one-on-one with them?

Why? I don't know. I don't know. Give me an answer. I'm not in trouble. I didn't do it. But to me, it's weird because I don't have an ex that I would hang out with. But then I'm not imagining that that's the case for everybody.

Some people might have just been with someone for ages to the point where it just became a friendship. Yeah. Oh, well. But then, like, hang out in a group. Ah. Okay. Doors open in this house.

Maintaining an online dating profile 29%. Only 29%? You've got to delete that. Producer Caitlin, if you started seeing a guy, how long would you expect him to delete his profile? Immediately?

As soon as you're official, right? Oh, of course if you're official, but also if you're like talking to each other, like just nonstop. Deactivate. Yeah, like... Or just still have it logged in, but just not like delete the app?

No, because that's embarrassing because then someone will be like, oh, I thought you were seeing this guy, so I'm on Tinder. Oh,

if it gets to the point where other people know of the relationship, surely you're going to deactivate. Texting erotic messages to someone other than your partner is 44%.

So that's still half of people. That doesn't include naked pictures, that's just sexy talk. So half of people surveyed in the study don't find that cheating.

That's fine. They're like, that's okay. Only 44%. I would have thought there would be like 80. What's an eggplant between pals? I don't know. Other sexy emojis. This is crazy.

Sending naked pictures to someone other than your partner, only 46% of people thought that was cheating. That's like not okay. That is unbelievable. You know, I just said cheeky wee DP to this chick. That's, no, that's a fireable offence. No three strikes there, buddy.

You are out. That's weird, eh? That's so weird. Yeah. That's so weird. And number one, of course, like actual cheating is not on this list. Yeah. Number one, at 55%, forming a deep emotional bond with someone else. Everyone found that. Which you've probably done after you've sent them pictures.

Well, I like to think there's an emotional connection before you send a picture of your penis. Not always, boy. Somebody. Not always. Flet Somebody. Not always. Fletch. What? Are we done here? I think we're done here.

It's good. Okay, moving on. How deep is the relationship? Before a DP. Hello? Hello? I said it and your eyes, all the white of your eyes,

I was like, what have I said? Then I realised. Apologies. Terrible news yesterday. And our thoughts are with Greg Boyd's family and all those that worked with him. Nothing but lovely comments about him yesterday. A lot of people around work have worked with him.

Yeah, very upset. So a lot of tears yesterday in the office. He touched a lot of people, but he tragically died in Europe with his family. And, of course, there was a lot of tributes online yesterday. A lot of people wanted to say some nice things about him, their experiences they had with him. And, of course, there was a lot of comments.

Now, he did suffer from depression, and there was a lot of comments, but one in particular has stood out to me. Now, I'll read it comments, but one in particular has stood out to me. Now, I'll read it out, but I don't... So this was posted and Cherie is her name. I won't say her last name, but a lot of people just responded in anger. And I think instead of being angry at the comments like the one that Cherie put up,

we should try and make them understand because I don't think she meant it in a horrible way, but it came from a place of ignorance. And to be honest, she looked to be of a generation where this wasn't talked about. There wasn't education on it. Like my parents' generation, all of our parents here come from a generation where it wasn't talked about.

And still in New Zealand, there's so many rules about reporting on people taking their own lives yeah there's you you can't say it under the sphere of like copycat and everybody's so scared to talk about it and and I mean my personal opinion is that if we don't talk about it it continues to happen it's not going to help anyone. Like grounded, smart, informed conversation about depression and anything that would lead to suicide needs to be talked about.

So you saw, this was a news article about his passing. You saw this comment on Facebook. And Cherie would be of like in what generation? Maybe a baby boomer, shall we say. And she said, I wonder why he was battling depression because there was absolutely nothing for him to be depressed about.

He was a successful man in all that he did. He has a beautiful family and was on a wonderful holiday. Now, I don't think depression is not as simple as that. No, depression isn't being sad. No, as soon as we realise that it is an illness that people need help with, it's an illness that he was obviously struggling to control. And, I mean, I don't know. I don't want to presume anything about his situation,

but maybe, like, he didn't speak enough about it. And he had a great sense of humour. And people have said he had a great sense of humour. And even those who knew he was battling depression have said that he was funny. And it's often the ones you least expect. I heard it summed up so, and it changed my whole way of thinking about it.

And if you've ever watched The Wiggles, you probably never think that Anthony, the blue wiggle, who's the only original wiggle still in The Wiggles, he's suffered depression. Really crippling depression. What a fun job. What a great career. He's having fun and he's making lots of money and he's got a family.

But he said it's an illness and your brain controls everything. And if your brain's fighting against itself, you can't convince yourself that's not going to happen. He was seeking professional help. And it was a hell of a thing to watch. He talked about when he went into his psychiatrist one day and he said, I've got it sorted. I've got it figured out. I've got my exit plan. I've got the way to solve all the problems that this is causing. And the psychiatrist was like, this is wonderful. Let's talk about it. What's your

solution? He's like, I'm going to end my life. And the psychiatrist said, what are you, Anthony, mate, like that's not the answer. He's like, but look at all the problems it's causing like, I'm going to end my life. And the psychiatrist said, what are you, Anthony, mate, like that's not the answer. He's like, but look at all the problems it's causing and I'm causing these problems without me. My wife's not going to have to worry about me. My kids aren't going to have to worry about me. Everybody that I'm slowing down can get on with their life and speed it on.

And the guy said to him, Anthony, like that's not the answer. These people aren't going to be able to move on. Their lives aren't going to speed up without your mate. Like they love you. They want you here for this. This is your brain. You've got an illness and we need to talk about it. We need to work on these things.

And he said now he can look back on it, even though he still has spells of depression, he can look back on it and realise that he was particularly ill at the time. See, that doesn't sound rational to us. But then if he had a mental illness. Not a lot seems rational. The irrational seems rational. We all need to have better understanding and talk to each other.

Yeah, so, I mean, you can always reach out to your friends. There's a whole lot of amazing services that are provided. I mean, yesterday, I've got a WhatsApp group with some of my best mates, and I said to them when we were talking about this, I said, seriously, guys, like, we muck around. We do a lot of shit talking on this, but if anybody ever needs to talk at any time of the day. Reach out.

Yeah, ring. Yeah. Talk, chat, text, any form of communication that makes you comfortable. Do it with your best friends. Lifeline, Suicide Crisis Helpline, Youthline, Kidsline. There's WhatsApp and Depression Helpline. You can Google all of those numbers. And yeah, there'll be someone there that can talk to you.

FBM, the podcast. FBM. Yesterday was Caitlin's niece's first birthday. And there was a FaceTime to said niece at work. And Quinn was the niece, was playing with some birthday toys. And I was just in the same room as Caitlin making the phone call. There was a lot of like the baby talking and the garring and the hello and waving and stuff, which is great auntie-ing.

She does some great auntie-ing. Yeah. And then a toy was hit and it immediately like made me go. Triggered. It triggered me. It triggered me. It took me back. Because it was one of the toys we'd had for our girls. A battery powered toy that makes a noise

the same noise over and over and over and over and then you take the toy away or turn it off and they cry so you're like what's worse the screaming or so you give the toy back and then it just goes over and over. Now, thankfully most of those toys

have disappeared from our house. I was going to say this is poor parenting because my parents would just be like well, we don't have any money for batteries. We've got no batteries. I'll take the batteries out. I've done that before. Yep. We had a, I don't even know where the frozen phone came from, but it was like rip-off frozen merchandise. It wasn't

an official Disney product. So it had maybe 15 to 20 seconds of let it go. But then it had a series of other things like this voice going, hello, hello, hello. And every time you press like answer, it would just that drove me insane. Now most of

these have gone. I have today though, thinking we might talk about this, brought in a selection of toys that currently exist in our house. Okay. This one's, where's the speaker on this? I know so many parents have got this. Because you see it and you're like, now this is wonderful.

This will teach little Timothy to read his alphabet. That's what I was going to say. Why do you even bring these into your house knowing they're making noise? I'm going to educate my child. We've got a rocket scientist here. So advanced. They'll go to Mars. Oh, my God, one of those one-way missions.

Oh, no, they're smart enough to come back. They're not a dummy. They're not going to get caught on Mars. So this one's... M, M says M. M says M. Every letter makes a sound. M says M. Oh, why a sound. M says mmm.

Oh, why would you buy that? That doesn't just come with M. That comes with every letter of the alphabet. Here's a challenging letter. X. X says X. X says X. Oh, no, I'm sick of this already.

Every letter makes a sound. X says X. It's like they just gave up on that one. A, B, C, D, E, that one Everything does the alphabet by the way Oh my god no You don't need to know that really Just don't get alphabet songs You'll learn it somewhere

Now leapfrog are particularly obnoxious This brand of toy Great don't get me wrong And they're worth millions of dollars worldwide. Right. This is another one we had. This is Scout. Everybody's got their Scout and Violet.

Scout's green, Violet's violet. Okay. Surprise, surprise. But you program them with your kid's name. Oh, wow. And their favorite animal, their favorite food, so that the dog says things and the kid's like, me too. But you get this for your kid when they're like one and they're just like, I'm slobbering

on it. Right. This has recently been rediscovered and it's blown August's mind that the dog knows her name. Okay. How do you? I don't know. How do you press it?

There's a switch on at the back. You might have to turn the power on. Oh, it's out of batteries. Oh, what a shame. We don't have any more money for batteries. Oh, here we go. Hi. Hi, what a shame. We don't have any more money for batteries. Oh, here we go. Hi. Hi.

These are the name. Hi. And you're programming. How did you program? You're programming. See, you guys are blowing away because when we got our first one of these, I was like, I'm into this.

I thought it was going to be you, but it's like, hi, August. No. You plug it in. And August's name wasn't in there, so I searched on the internet. It was like, oh, yep, we can put that on Scout. So we downloaded it.

Can you guess what I am? No, no. A horse. I'm pretending to be a horse. Yes, got it right. You're not giving much time. But you're a dog. With me.

No, no. He's pretending. He's pretending. That's a pretty rubbish no. This is the... This is... All the music seems to be... In the morning I rise and shine. I get out of bed and...

Oh, no. What? I want to sleep in and this to be playing. It'd be horrible. I don't know how parents do it. I'd love just to sneak around to Fletcher's house and play these early in the morning when he's in bed. Just hide like a thousand of them throughout his house.

No. And have them on some sort of, I don't know how it would be on a timer. Yeah. But that probably just gave some parents a little bit of PTSD. You were triggered hearing these on Caitlin's call. So I was wondering this morning if you're a parent, if you're an auntie or an uncle that is babysat, babysitters, or a babysitter that's looked after a kid that's just constantly hurt.

Or you've got young siblings. You know, they've never been more annoying or more repetitive than when you're hungover either. They just burrow right into your brain. So do you have a kid's toy noise that triggers you? Yeah. Is there one that you can remember or have heard? Bonus points if you are a parent of a young child and you're looking at it right now.

And you can play it over the phone to us. Oh, $800, Emma. Zomwalt. Hold on. Can you say the alphabet again? I forgot the... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R... Here it comes T-U-V-W-X-Y-N-Z

ZM, that's the name That's it New on Get There in the End Give us a call F-E-M ZM We're talking about the children's toys That maybe give parents, aunties and uncles

Babysitters A bit of a flashback every time they hear it Yep We're talking about the children's toys that maybe give parents, aunties and uncles, babysitters, a bit of a flashback every time they hear it. Yeah. Some text messages in on the subject. And this is a very, very good point because my kids were the same. When Indie first started going to kindy, that Baby Shark song that's now like a meme. This year it's like, me, I've got to go to bed at 9 o'clock tonight.

Me at 3 a.m. Baby Shark do-do-do-do-do-do. Baby Shark do-do-do-do-do-do. I've got to go to bed at nine o'clock tonight. Me at 3 a.m. Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. I've got no idea what you're talking about. I know, yeah,

I didn't know that either. Do you know that one? Nah. I've seen the memes, but I didn't get it. That song, just because it's weird, I think that video

is a weird version of it, but that song was the song to sing for both of my kids when they started kindy. Right. It's like a kindy classic. Okay. Because there's actions and now that It's like a kindy classic. Okay.

Because there's actions, and now that it's there, it's everywhere. Pro, what kids' noise or song gives you some flashbacks or triggers you? The most awful yellow bus. And I swear, every child has this bus. I don't care how old they are, they still have this bus. It's everywhere. Do you have kids or do you look after them? I have kids.

I have three kids. What was annoying about the bus? Because I think I know it's the same bus. I will guarantee it's the same bus. These little people with shapes on the bottom end, they've got no feet. They're hideous. Yeah, little people.

Yep, they sit inside the bus, and you press them down and they make different noises, but you push it along and it sings the wheels on the bus, and it just doesn't die. It's on repeat. I swear if you take the batteries out, it will still keep going. It's possessed. God, yeah, that's a horrible song.

Any toy that triggers its noise by rolling of wheels is... Yeah. You walk down the hallway in the middle of the night and it goes off and I swear it haunts you. Oh, that's creepy. Oh, that's the start of a horror movie. When the battery's running low.

It's the gift that keeps on giving. So it was given to me, it was reaped it. So it wasn't even brand new when I got it. Someone loved it so much that they shared it with me. You can see why they palmed it off to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of those gifts you just keep paying forward. Thanks to you, cool pro. Keep paying it forward. Some other text messages in. I grew up in

a religious household and my sister gave her kid a toy that sung, Jesus loves me, this I know. And it was awful singing and just every time it haunts me if I ever hear it. And they actually go on to say,

I'm pretty sure it's the reason I'm gay now. So that's what next time you hear a religious person saying, you know, gay people are making straight kids gay. Well, actually it was the straight people that had the gay kids, so it's their fault. But it may also be religious toys trying to indoctrinate your children. Somebody else said, oh my God, my parents, so my children's grandparents bought them a school recorder each.

Oh, no. Oh, it's never that good. It's just literally. Somebody said, oh, my God, yes. Somebody said, it's moved on from Toys in Our House style to the same YouTube videos over and over and over. And there's a song about a duck going to get lemonade. Yeah.

Every parent right now just went, no! And I won't. I won't. I won't. But we all know. I need to know how it goes. Yeah, I need to know. Can you not remember?

I'm so sorry. I'm so unbelievably sorry. Why did you clear your throat? Are you going to sing along with it? No, I just feel bad that I'm doing this. Is there going to be an ad first? No. Tell me the duck story.

Bum, bum, bum. Ba-dum, ba-dum. A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man. Oh, this is good. Run to the stand. Hey. Bum, bum, bum. Got any grapes?

Grapes at a lemonade stand. Sam said, no, we just sell lemonade, but it's cold and it's trash. That was my question. Got any grapes? Grapes at a lemonade stand. That was my question. You can't do grapes at a lemonade stand. Duck actually sounds like Fletch. This is really good. It's all right on the first listening. Not when you've heard it a hundred times.

He's back. He's back the next day. He says, Hey, got any grapes? Okay, no. This is going to trigger me soon. He does this for multiple days. Kiwis aren't very good at expressing their feelings,

especially when it comes to, like, love. I guess it's easy to say to your partner, but, like, for the first time, it's always, you don't want to say it first, and then how do you say it, and you get all flustered. So now people are using like text messaging and like Facebook Messenger apps like Tinder and Bumble and all that to say.

To say I love you. For the first time. For the first time. That just rings true across the internet full stop. You say things that you wouldn't normally say to somebody's face. So it's easier. It's easier to say. Yeah, yeah.

Is that like, I feel that's so sad. Because like you're missing something. Yeah, I think if you're saying it to a partner, you need to say it so you can see their face, right? But then if they say, oh, you can be like, only joking, and they won't know online that you're crying. And also... But there's something special and sweet about the vulnerability of it.

You're putting yourself out there. Yeah, you've got to say it in person for the first time. So what is your plan here, Megan? So I really, really wanted to get someone on the phone who was going to say I love you to their partner. Who's never said it before. Because, I mean, it's not face-to-face. K-Ways won't do that.

But it's so much better than texting because you can hear the emotion in the voice. But so what are the other one in five, if it's not one in five, what are the rest of them doing just in person? Yeah, I guess so. Or on the phone. Or in a letter.

But it's growing, the amount of people that are like, I'm just going to do it on Facebook Messenger. I'm just going to be like, hey, love you. Well, it's like people break up, don't they? More and more on Facebook Messenger and text now. But see, that's easier to do. You don't have to look someone in the face. It's cowardly, but...

You shouldn't do serious emotional things. Like, tell someone that your nana's passed. Yep. Tell someone you love them or break up with someone. Like, there's certain things you just need to do in person. Bit of human contact. Or over the phone. Yeah. Oh, there's certain things you just need to do in person. But a human contact. Or over the phone. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You can't be like, hey, come on down this weekend. Okay, I'll see you then. You get there, you're like, Nana's dead. Should have told you over the phone. I heard on the radio

that woman said I should have had to do it in person. Sorry to bring you down in Vicargill from Auckland for this terrible news, but face to face, as they say. Right, okay.

Sam, you've called up for this social experiment. Have you told your partner that you love them? Yes, but not today. Oh, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. We wanted a freshie. Did you do it in person the first time, Sam? Yes.

That's really cute. How did it go? Were you a bit nervous? Extremely. Okay. Did you have Were you a bit nervous? Extremely. Okay. Did you have a couple of drinks before? No, because I don't drink, but it would have been helpful. Okay.

I don't think you can have a couple of drinks, because then you get nervous and then you'd have three and then you'd be like, hey. At what point doesn't it count when you've had it? Oh, yeah, very true. Five vodka cruises. You can't do that. No.

Okay. You don't want that to happen. Well, that's not going to help you, Megan. No. It's a lovely gesture, though. Somebody messaged in. They said the first night they said to their partner, I love you, was in person,

but it was also the same night they heard their partner fart. So they felt that she farted in front of him was almost like an invitation. Just say I love you. Wait, what came first, the I love you or the fart? The fart. The fart. And then he said, literally, I waited for the air to clear.

So this was a femme fart. There was a femme fart, air clear, and he said, I love you, the very same night, a little bit later on. Guys weirdly like that, eh? They're like, oh, my God, you feel that comfortable around me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is real. We're good.

You'd never do that around Mr. Toyboy, would you? He's always like, when are you going to fart around me? I'm like, that's not a thing. Like, don't. Why are you wishing for that? When are you going to fart around me? I mean, I don't want to keep it on the fart tangent, but. We're there

now. Yeah, next I want to talk about, I had a massage yesterday. Okay. And I came out with something I didn't go in with. Oh, right. That does not sound good, Vaughn. No, it doesn't.

My wife got me a massage. It's an early Father's Day present because we're away the weekend of Father's Day. Right. And then all this other stuff's happening. So she's like, I've booked you in.

You're in. Go. Now, all this other stuff's happening. So she's like, I've booked you in. You're in. Go. Now, it's not that place above the bakery that my friend Morgan went to. She got the online voucher for $30 for an hour. I said, it's too good to be true. She got there and it was just some seedy guy who looked really stoked to see her.

Oh. Was he the baker from downstairs? No. Shut up the bakery for five minutes? He didn't seem to know what he was doing. I was like, yeah, I'd probably get a voucher from a reputable place next time. Oh, wow. Give it a bit of a Google before perhaps.

She was like, well, I'm here. I don't know if that's. Doesn't surprise me knowing her. She's done worse for less. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I went along for the massage yesterday after work. Heavenly.

Lovely. Two things, though. Yeah. When I went in and I took off the robe and had my time to get under the sheet, which I always panic. I'm like that coming back in. And I'm like, get the robe off and then you're panicking and you're trying to put it somewhere

and then you're trying to get yourself under the sheet. You're really under the sheet. They're going to rub every inch of your body, but don't look at me. But you're wearing undies, eh? Yeah. Okay, good.

Yeah, but it's a panic to get under the sheet because you want to be ready and face down by the time they come back in. Because, you know, I always like, because sometimes they'll go over it,

won't they, at a massage place and say, leave your pants on because I imagine there are people they come back into the room because I always leave my pants on. My dad always there are people, they come back into the room, because I always leave my pants on. My dad always gets naked.

So he's the reason they say that. He's the very reason. He's like, I don't want my undies on, it's uncomfortable. But they also don't want it. Is that why he doesn't get massages anymore? He's banned from everywhere in Nelson. Yeah. So if you're in Nelson and you're okay with a pants off massage,

let us know, because we've got a big client. Big in, yeah, all terms. Right. So I was panicking to get on it, and it may have been the panic, it may have been the jostling around, but I think I shook loose a fart. But I felt it, and I was like, I can't fart in here. The incense is going like, this is supposed to be a- And your farts are rotting.

There's something lately. There's something lately. There's something lately. It's your high protein diet. It's the protein. It's the protes. It's the protes, bruh. And so I'm lying on the thing, on the bed,

and I'm holding it in. Yep. And I'm like, I can't, I can't let this out. You know, sometimes they just disappear and you hope,

I'm hoping that's going to happen. It's really weird where that goes. It goes back up and you're like, where have you gone? I know. And you can't feel it anymore.

Have you ever held it so much your tummy rumbles? Is that the sound of it going back through some valves? Because I don't know anything about that. I'd use this system. But I imagine it's all a fairly one-way valve system. Yeah. So when it goes, googles back into the stomach, you're like, that's not good for me.

And you've bugged an hour. Yeah. Was it an hour? It was an hour. Yeah. Was it an hour? It was an hour. Okay. So I'm face down. Yeah. And then it begins.

And this is the other thing I wanted to mention about this massage. They ask you whereabouts you want it worked. And I'm like, back and shoulders, neck, because I've had a bit of a sore. Yeah. I really get in there and she's like, oh, you can feel it. Okay, I'll concentrate on this area. I'm going to go medium pressure. Let me know if it's too, if you want it harder or you want it softer.

But once I've made my decision, I'm too scared to change. Yeah, right. I'm at medium. And she's like, okay. Because I went hard once and I almost cried. But again, during, I was too scared to tell her it was too hard. But sometimes they're like partway through and they're like, how's the pressure? And you're like, it's really good.

That's good. Like I was breathing through. Like I haven't had a baby and I don't want to compare it to childbirth, but like you know how they're like breathing. You're like. I was doing that when you found the sore butts and the elbow was going in there. Oh, yeah. And they're always so tiny.

You underestimate how powerful they are. And so when one side of my back was going, it was done, I knew I was going to get exactly the same on the other side. So I knew there was going to be five points. But after that part, it got very relaxing. But still present.

Okay, right. Waiting. Fell asleep. Poised. I always fall asleep in the relaxing part of a massage. And I woke up to Mr. Smith But I'm too scared to fall asleep Because if I was a massage

When they fell asleep You'd sit down Stop That's what That's what I always wonder Because I would too You put them to sleep

And then you're just really quiet You get out your phone And you're like Just check what's on it And then if they start to like move You stand phone and you're like, just check what's on it. And then if they start to like move, you stand up and you're like. And do software like on the legs or something. I would totally do that. Yeah, 100%.

So anyway, I fell asleep. And when I woke up to that, Mr. Smith, your time's over. I was like, oh, thank you so much. The first thing I thought was, where's that fuck? Because I couldn't feel it anymore. Oh, no. Right, okay. And I'd been asleep for, it anymore. Oh no. Right, okay. And I'd been asleep for,

I'd imagine 20 minutes. Right, okay. So it could have come out and dissipated. Right. And then been overpowered by the incense and sandalwood. Yep. What happened? And I didn't feel,

I didn't want to ask. Yeah, yeah. Or I didn't want to apologise and be like, sorry about that. Because then they'd be like, what are you sorry for? If I hadn't, if it had't want to ask. Yeah, yeah. Or I didn't want to apologise and be like, sorry about that. Because then they'd be like, what are you sorry for? If I hadn't, if it had gurgled back up in me. Yeah. If I'd apologised, she'd be like, what for?

I'd be like, nothing. That's creepy. That's white. And then they put a black mark beside my name. No more East Day Spa for you, Mr. Smith. I tried to book and they're like, sorry, we're full. Buy it. Put the thing up.

So I'm at this junction of, but afterwards she was like, would you like some tea? I was like, yes, please. And I was trying to get a reading. No reading. They're very professional because they're pushing your body. Farts would happen all the time. The worst thing is if you were awake and you farted,

you're not supposed to laugh as a message. Just pretend it didn't happen. Hope they didn't hear it. If you get a really full on massage, they might have done the butt area with like an oil in it, would it make the slappy sound? Like it would really like it's a bit wet. Yeah, yeah

but it's not and you'd have to be, and then I'd feel the need to over explain myself, but like that sounded worse than it was I think it was the oils and I'm very relaxed okay I'm so sorry but yeah again

I don't know it's a big it's a mystery my wife's like so embarrassed about the potential back fart situation right okay

she's gonna what just cool off and not go for a while I don't know maybe she's gonna have a cooling down period I don't know fact of she's going to have a cooling down period. I don't know. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. You all right, mate? Yeah, no. A bit of oats. It was an oats. Oh, right. It was an oats issue. Oats-related issue. Yeah, it was an oats-related choking hazard.

We had a fact of the day quiz last night in East Auckland. Man, that's a long way away. And didn't you let them know? Why do you guys live so far away? Just like to let you all know I've been very inconvenienced traveling all this way out here to host this quiz. You know there's other places to live, right? Closer.

I'm pretty sure it would be quicker to live in Hamilton and drive to Auckland Central every day for work than it would be to live in Howick. That's just a thought I've had. Okay, well I'm sure people might like the lifestyle out there. I'm sure it's lovely. I'm sure it's lovely. I'm sure they have a great time. Okay, well thank you to all of our teams that did come last night, the winning team. I'm sure it's lovely I'm sure it's lovely I'm sure they have a great time okay

well thank you to all of our teams that did come last night the winning team now the next can I say the winning team what I mean I've been

to heaps of quiz nights it's like a really popular Quizlamic State one that was the winning team last night our next quiz is in my hometown

New Plymouth got it confirmed that's the next confirmed fact of the Day. Producer Caitlin, can people register for that yet? I know it's three weeks away-ish.

Is it too early? Is the form online? It's not because we've just taken down the other form, but we will get it up ASAP. Let's get mildly excited about that, but let's not do anything about it yet. So Kiwi of you. Yeah.

We're getting mildly excited about the next pub quiz in New Plymouth. But we're not doing anything. But we're not doing anything about it yet. So Kiwi of you. Yeah. We're getting mildly excited about the next pub quiz in New Plymouth. But we're not doing anything. But we're not doing anything about it yet. So hold fire, New Zealand. Just relax. Okay.

Today's fact of the day, and this could be a question in one of the upcoming fact of the day pub quizzes, as one round is dedicated to fact of the days of times gone by. Today's fact of the day

is the difference between running and jogging. Oh, okay. Running is anything over 10 kilometres an hour. Jogging is anything less than 10 kilometres an hour. Oh, so I don't think I've ever run in my life. You could get a push on. 10 k's an hour. That's not that fast.

How fast do those Olympic walkers walk? Oh, no, get your Snapchat out. You know how it tells you how fast you're going? Sometimes I'm pretty sure I've been doing a 7K fast walk. Oh, 7Ks is a good walk. That's a good walk. You've got a long stride on you. Shall I see how, how do I find out?

I'd have to be walking and then press the filter, right? It won't do it inside, and it's very inaccurate as well. Yeah, that's true. It's very inaccurate. So, wow. Olympic race walkers can walk 10 miles an hour. Okay. Miles?

Yeah, 10 miles an hour, which I don't have a conversion thing open to, but double that. 16 kilometres an hour. Okay. Wow. That's fast. That's a real trot. 16 kilometres an hour. Okay. Wow. That's fast. That is, that's a real trot.

You've really got your trot on. They're basically running though with both feet on the ground at one time. Like with one foot on the ground. Because there's always a bit of a, They look like they're running. There can sometimes be a bit of controversy, can't there?

Yes. At all the picks of Commonwealth Games when they're like, you're running. Really flexy hips. It's a super technique. Yeah. It's a super technique.

So if you're at the gym and you're on the treadmill and you're under 10 kilometres an hour and you're like, it's time to push this, it's time to start running. Just go to 10 and you're like, I'm running, I'm running. And then just go back to nine and be like, that was too much. Yeah. I pushed myself a bit too hard. You could get a bit like distracted and running

and you might like half foot on the belt, half foot on the side and that'll spin you right round. You'll be on your ass before you know it. So today's fact of the day is if you are moving on your legs forward at more than 10km an hour you are running, anything less, you are jogging.

Fact of the day! Day, day, day, day! Day! Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Since Love Island's finished, I've been getting into a bit of Fortnite. Taking over the addiction. And now I understand kind of what's going on. I know that like you have to buy like fancy costumes. Or you can unlock them. You can unlock them.

You buy the battle pass. But I did notice that you have a fancy new costume born. I do, yes. Panda team later. Which is super cute. Well, I really wanted

cuddle team later. Which was the pink bear. Right. But that hasn't been in the store for ages. And I said next time it comes back I'm going to buy that costume

because it's cute AF. Now, you say buy. Yeah. Yes. Did you buy Panda Team Leader? Yes. I purchased Panda Team Leader. And how much did Panda Team Leader cost you?

I don't know. How much did that cost? How much did that one cost? What do you mean I don't know? Well, no, because that's why it trades in a different currency. It's V-Bucks. And then you, like, buy V-Bucks and then you just buy what you want. Yeah, so 3,000 V-Bucks is like $39 or $38.

Did you pay $39? No, no, no, it wasn't $39. How much did you pay? It was probably $29. You paid $29 for a fake outfit? That doesn't exist. But it's so cool. It is cool.

It's cute. It's cute with a bamboo backpack. But it doesn't exist. It does. But it does on Fortnite. In a virtual world. Yeah. But have you bought anything else?

Well, I buy Battle Pass. I buy the Battle Pass. Man, they make so much money, don't they? Fortnite? So Fortnite's free. The Battle Royale is free. But if you buy the game called Save the World, which is what the original game was,

which I have purchased because I wanted to play another aspect of it. So that's just like buying a video game. You can earn V-Bucks that you can then spend in Battle Royale, which is how I've done a few of them. When it's you spending ridiculous money, you're so cavalier about it. You're like, oh, it's just like playing a game. And then I bought this because it's really cool

and it's got a cool bamboo backpack. It's so cavalier. But you're spending money on things that technically don't even exist. But yet, intern Anya's taking up her credit card, buying more clothes, and you have a go at her. It's a tangible good. What is?

At least she can wear it. No, but she won't even wear it many times. I might though. But my panda is there all the time and you know what, it doesn't need washing, it doesn't fade, it doesn't go out of fashion. Yeah, okay, fair call. So how much V-Bucks or how much real bucks

have you spent? I don't know, a bit. Probably like, I'd say at least a hundy. $100. Are you kidding me? Yeah, but how much did you spend on your shoes? How much did you spend on that pastel cardigan knit you're wearing? Don't be mean to my jersey.

How much did you spend on doing your hair? See? Don't hair shave me because I've got hair and you don't. No, I'm just saying. But I know I don't have hair so I get to save money on hair products and hair stuff. So I get to spend it in other aspects. This is just me saying, I don't smoke, so I'm going to have a cola every day.

Yeah, but it's the serenity. And it's your money. You can spend it how you want, eh? Yeah. I'm just saying, let's remember this next time I buy something ridiculous. But the only thing is, it is weird, though, because it doesn't exist.

It's my only thing. Like at least you buy shoes they exist, right? You can get use out of them. The happiness that it brings me and the happiness that it brings Bourne exists. Yeah, that's true.

Happiness does exist. So you're not alone. In May alone Fortnite generated $318 million in revenue. In May alone. That's the thing. You think it's bad.

I've maybe spent like $100. And I've been playing this since February. So that's six months. $100 over six months for like a hobby or something. It's not bad at all. Because if you take up a new sport, you're going to drop that on one item. You're actually getting exercise.

Playing sport. Yeah. I was thinking cricket. You're getting mental exercise. Yeah sport. Yeah. You know, I was thinking cricket. You're getting mental exercise. Yeah, I am. With your thumbs. And that's physical exercise. Correct.

I'm just trying to think, were you addicted to Farmville? Yep. The pride of my farm was that I never spent a dollar on Farmville. That's right. That was the pride of my farm. I had a big farm. But we knew people that were addicted and actually sinking their own cash into Farmville. Well, they

weren't willing to wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning to harvest their blueberries, and that meant that they wanted to keep up, so they spent money to keep up. Okay, this is what I want to ask people listening. How much have you spent on a game? Not like for the game, I'm not talking about when you go

to EB Games and buy a game, Not like for the game, like, you know, I'm not talking about when you go and like to E, what is it? EB Games. EB Games and buy a game. But how much have you spent once you've been hooked into a game online? It's called in-game purchases. Yeah.

That's what I mean, yeah. Remember that Kardashian game? When I spent $40, I was like, I can't do this anymore. Because I'm buying dresses that don't exist. You were just literally giving Vaughn stick. Yeah. Okay. So that's how that works.

Although literally you were giving her stick when she was doing that. Yeah. Okay. But you're giving yourself stick about it now, so I was right all along. I'm never going to admit that it was a bad idea to spend money on Fortnite unless my wife's listening now then. I'm sorry.

But again, it's not much. It comes from the account that she doesn't know about anyway. Is it more than she spent at Kmart this year alone? Oh God, no. Don't play that game. Just a bit of advice.

Just don't go there. She's like, look at this copper basket. It was only $10. And I'm like, look at the sweet new dance my character can do. I was like,

it was only $5. So technically, I saved you five more dollars just when it came out another time. So how much have you racked up

in in-game purchases? Can you beat Vaughn's $100? $100? Or Megan's, what was yours? Mine was only $40. Okay.

On the Kardashian app. Yeah. Oh, $800. Give us a text, 9696. You ain't seen nothing yet. If you thought spending 20 bucks, 30 bucks, 40 bucks here or there on some games for things that don't really exist.

It's in-game purchases. How much have you spent? Wow. My husband spent around $2,500 over the past few years on Clash of the Clans. He still plays the games, but is fully upgraded and is not allowed to spend any more on that bloody game. Fair enough, though, because that's a lot of money. That's so much money.

You could go for a holiday somewhere. Oh, God, don't think about what you could have done with that. Yeah. Taylor, how much have you spent? I've spent $100 in a week easy on Candy Crush. Oh, okay. When's this? Is this, like, lately, or was this in the height on Candy Crush. Oh, okay. When's this? Is this like lately

or was this in the height of Candy Crush? No, I still play it. No, I, do you know, I see a lot of people playing it like if I'm on the bus

or the train, I still see the odd person playing it. Really? And I'm always like, wow. But what's the purchases? What does that get you?

So extra lives and stuff because you get five and you get one every half hour. Yeah, okay. That's how they get you. That's how they get you. That's how they get you. That's not enough.

So how much, if that was in a week, how much would you spend all up? In a year? Yeah. Oh, I'd probably spend $100 in a week, probably a good five or six times. Oh, my God. Don't think about it, Taylor. Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

Taylor, thanks for your call. Matt, how much have you spent on Fortnite? Around about $700. And how long, Matt? Since November. All right, so you've been playing for a while. Yeah. All the things I could have bought every single season.

I could have bought so much with that money. I like to think of it month by month. It's entertainment, isn't it? It, it's entertainment. It's a hobby. Yeah, exactly. You'd spend that going to the movies if you went to the movies nearly as much. I think you would, even if you watched every movie and got a popcorn combo,

I don't know if it'd be that much. Wow. Would it? Or maybe, yeah, with popcorn and all the combos. Yeah, maybe. Popcorn and a chop chop in there. Thanks for your call, Matt. Aura, how much did you spend on a game? Partner probably wouldn't like this, but just over a grand. Oh, what? $1,000 on what game?

Good old Clash of Clans. Does your partner even know that you've spent money at all? She knew I'd spent some. Not the exact number. I can't really live it down anymore. Do you have a problem? I didn't have a problem. You did, okay.

I'd like to say that I was getting paid quite a bit at the time. Okay. It's your entertainment, right? Yeah, it's all agreed on. And you contributed to the creators of Clash of the Clans. Yeah, exactly. Earned a billion dollars.

Yeah, exactly. I was just helping out the little guys. You're helping the little guys become like multinational conglomerates. Yeah, exactly. Why? You've got to do something for the world, eh? You said you had a problem. Does that mean you don't play it anymore?

Like have you stopped yourself playing? Yeah, she kind of holds that to me as well. Right. She's like, well, you're quitting now. You're a quitter. You're a quitter. Yep, exactly. Every time I play another game, it's going off.

So what are your cents on that now? Yeah, okay. Hey, good luck with that. We'll leave you to sort that out. Orin, thanks for your call. Thank you. Someone messaged in, my last

relationship ended because I spent too much at the app store. Yeah, the worst was buying an updated app for the Navman when

Google Maps works for free. That'll get you. That'll get you. Somebody else said, I've spent $2,500 on League of Legends.

Oh yeah. Then I imposed a self-ban and actually contacted them and said, can you please ban this account? To stop myself. That's a good idea. Some people actually do that at the casino, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, please ban me.

If I come back, you're not allowed to let me in. That happens. Somebody said, last time I checked, I'd spent $5,000 on Steam, which is an online gaming service. Yeah. $5,000 on there. which is an online gaming service. Yeah. $5,000 on there. My daughter spent $450 on Smurfville. Oh.

Smurfville was a shocker. I remember hearing a lot of stories about that. Yeah. So there you go. The odd. Look, knock yourself out, buy yourself a new Fortnite skin, get a dance. Don't waste your money on the glider or the axe to me. That's a waste of money.

Waste of cash. Get a good skin. CDM's. Fletch. Vaughn waste of money. Waste of cash. Get a good skin.