ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 27 2019

Episode Date: August 26, 2019

Black Cap - Jimmy Neesham is in studio, This Is Why I'm Fat and when did you get scammed?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Flesh, Fawn and Megan, the podcast. Thank you, Anya, and a win for the Black Caps against Sri Lanka in the Test Series last night. We've actually got a Black Cap coming in to join us on the show this morning. This morning. Just after 8 o'clock to talk about the start of,

well, the summer schedule for the Black Caps. Haven't they just had just been playing all... Did they get a break? Our home games. Yeah, they get a little break. Jimmy Nasham's in studio. They'll be absolutely pooped from all that standing around. They're sportsmen.

Say that when he's here. Are you pooped from all that standing around? Yeah. No, because he went back out, remember, at the World Cup final. He went back out. Well, I mean World Cup final? He went back out. Well, I mean, we're going to have to bring that up, aren't we? That incredible sporting moment. And he hasn't replied to Megan's DM either on Instagram.

I sent him a lovely message and he left me on. No, because we chatted after he came in last time. And so I was like, after the World Cup, I sent him a lovely message. And he left me on scene. I was like, ah the World Cup, I sent him a lovely message. And he left me on scene. I was like, ah, bitch. So I'm going to ask him about it. Anne, you're going to have to calm your farm, aren't you? Jimmy Nation's one of your boys.

This isn't going to be a thing. We're going to put a cloak over this, and we're going to forget about it. Him. So we've got Jimmy Nation. This is the list of your hot dudes. Him. The lovely Jimmy Nation. Jack Tame. Jack your hot dudes. Him, the lovely Jimmy Nation. Jack Tame.

Jack Tame, the chubby chaser. No. No. Yeah, you're over that chaser. Oh my God. If the chubby chaser ever comes, we should try and get all three in the studio at once. Oh, wow.

Me oh my. She would explode. The skinny guy from the coffee shop across the road. Oh, yeah. Can we not? She would explode The skinny guy from the coffee shop across the road Oh yeah Can we not? And your boyfriend all at once And there's another one, who else? You've got a very eclectic, shall we say

Daniel Faitawa That's right Is he still going overseas? We need to get him before he goes No we don't Yeah he is going overseas But he's not gone yet I'll see him when we go to Europe They're all lovely loads You can't even get your words out, you're all flustered before he goes. No, we don't. Yeah, he is going overseas, but he's not gone yet. I'll see him when we go to Europe. They're all lovely loads.

You can't even get your words out. You're all flustered. No, he's not. So, you two have got a bit of nation coming in. Don't they, then? No, I've just got beef with nation. You've got beef with nation. Okay, well, we can settle that.

Well, I think I need a little kickstart for the day. What do you need? Well, I think I need a little kickstart for the day. What do you need? Well, I think I need a little GoDaddy. I think I need a little producer James GoDaddy. I wanted one yesterday and then completely forgot. Got a little bit distracted at the start of the show. Oh, no, don't cough it out. Don't cough.

Don't cough. I want that raspy not spoken this morning. GoDad Daddy. Yes. I will. I will. That was like when you start your car and it hasn't started for a while. I was like, that really picks you up, doesn't it?

Needs a warm-up. Yeah, no, don't warm it up. All right. Go in cold. Story time. Don't cry. up. All right. Go in cold. Story time. Don't cry. Story time's next. Sit in.

All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. All right. Vaughan and Megan, I have three news headlines. Interesting, quirky, unusual news stories. Pick one of the following three. Headline one, eight-year-old goes on autobahn adventure.

Headline two, town opens 50-year-old goes on autobahn adventure headline two town opens 50 year old time capsule and headline three police uh petrol station workers earn all the points those are your headlines repeat three petrol station workers oh i did and then i corrected myself petrol station workers earn all the points. Is this a sort of a flybys-esque scheme? Like a loyalty scheme. Yeah, you swipe it and you get the accrued points. Correct, Vaughan. Because when I worked at a petrol station, that happened, and it was a massive deal.

Because I always wondered, like, if I ever go in, I don't do that, get points or anything, because I don't have a car, but if I'm borrowing or whatever. Yeah. But if I work there, I was like, well, I'd just swipe mine a couple of times a day. Yeah. So the customer would see you. No.

Well, this is, let me tell you how he was rocking this back in the 90s. Right. Is that he got a Flybuys card, it was a Flybuys one that did it. Right. And cut the barcode out on the back and just had it on his hand. So, and in his defence, he didn't ask

if it was okay if he did it, but he also was like a 17-year-old part-time worker who didn't know what he was doing was fraudulent.

Did he get absolutely done? I was just about to use a word, but I don't know if it's a real card. Let me check with that later. He got, he got, he got ripped to shreds.

Like nothing, no legal. Right. The points got cancelled. Okay, yeah, right. Because they contacted saying. Why you got so many points? No, they contacted the petrol station I worked at. Yeah.

Saying there's one customer who must be coming in. Every day. Eight to ten times a day. What's the story? And would physically be unable to use that much fuel. Well, that's what they said unless they were bringing in

like a tanker or unless they worked for a contractor and they were just bringing in tanks to refill guys who were working on chainsaws. They said it does happen. There are people that are literally in all day and get points every time but they just need to check.

Right. And I remember the what's going on? And yeah, and it wasn't me. It sounds like I'm just telling a story about myself, but it wasn't.

I didn't have the brains to think of doing that sort of fraudulent activity. Right. But in his defense also, he didn't think it was fraudulent, but I'm imagining that's what the story is. Very similar,

Vaughan, yes, and it does include some prison time. Oh, prison time. We've covered that off. No, it was just a firm telling off. $100,000 worth of US points. This happens all the time. Certainly not that much.

So if you're listening and you work at a service station, don't do it. And you're pulling those shenanigans. Yeah. Yeah. The time capsule. Do you want to know what time capsule? Do you want time capsule or eight-year-old goes on autobahn adventure? So I feel like the eight-year-old's driven the car on the German autobahn.

Have they put a speed limit on that now? They put a speed limit on it over summer because it was so hot it was melting. That's right. I drove on a road that was 130 k's. An hour? Yeah. Nuts.

And there were cars like passing me, disappearing into the distance. I went 120 on the autobahn and people leave you for dead. You're like, oh, I can't go more than 120. You're like, I'm uncomfortable at this speed.

Yeah, Volkswagen Beetles, like... Alright, while we go to New Hampshire, a time capsule has been opened 50 years later. Now, there had been a lot of speculation since this time capsule, which is basically a desktop safe.

About a couple of times bigger than the capture, which is basically a desktop safe, about a couple of times bigger than the ones in your hotel. Okay. You know, maybe a bit higher. It had been sitting on a shelf in the Derry Public Library since 1969. And, well, the 50-year anniversary came up, and they're like, we better open this. Took a couple of people a few times to get into it, but when they opened it,

nothing inside. Someone had opened it! Someone had previously opened it. That's what the investigation is now underway to find out. If there was a nothing in there from the start in this time capsule, was it a giant joke from 1969?

A vintage troll. Or if somebody managed to crack the safe previously and get the loot out of it. Also, what if somebody had a feeling that what was inside was a little bit racist? Oh, right, yeah. Because you think of how much, like, the general view on everything has changed in 50 years.

Yeah. Like I might have said inside, yes, the year is 1969. 69, yeah. 69. I hope those gays don't get to get married soon. That's disgusting and evil. Like, yeah.

You know, like things have changed a little bit. You wouldn't want to have a town ceremony where you open it up and... And your whole town's embarrassed. Your whole town's like, shouldn't have, shouldn't have opened it. So maybe somebody preempted it by breaking it and stealing all the racist, homophobic stuff,

but then there was nothing else left. Yeah. It could totally have happened. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. A story slash news release from an organisation where they send you a PDF attached to an email and they're like, this is interesting. And you're like, okay, this is where you want me to say your name.

But I'll do it. I'll do it because it is quite interesting. And I do, in all honesty, I use this anytime I'm buying electronics. But there's a website, if you've never heard of it, in New Zealand called Price Spy. It compares all the retailers that it can find. It compares the price on

the same item. So you get a Price Spy. Say you want to buy it. buy well just yesterday for example I bought a mouse for a wireless mouse right

okay um what no Shade wanted one because she does the oh for her laptop she said the trackpad

is hard to use for the photoshopping stuff for the clicking and everything so I was like you should have got her one of those magic pencils.

You know, you draw on the mouse pad and it makes a thing. Those look cool, but she said, I don't know how to use those and I don't want to learn. I was like, well, that's not the attitude. But then I saw that they were $280 and I was like... You two are both turning into boomers real quick. I don't know and I don't want to learn. So you go in and you type what you want and it tells you in order of price who's got it for the cheapest. And it'll tell you online stores and physical stores.

Yeah. Great. I've used this quite a bit as well. Be aware. It often doesn't include postage. Yeah, that's true. Postage might be free, but the initial price doesn't include postage. And some places do credit card charges.

They don't tell you about that. I don't know if you want to hear that. I don't know if I'm telling you. If you think about that, it's two and a half percent and $15 for postage. So they're saying, they want you to be aware

in promoting themselves, but also perhaps saving you money, which is what they're out to do, that they looked into homeware products. Yeah. And one they found had a variety between the cheapest and the most expensive retailer of over $1,500.

Like 50%. Yeah. And that was a fridge. It was a fridge, yes. It was a stainless steel freezer. Wait, so you're saying one of them was marked up 50%? Well, some places do those mega sales. There's a discrepancy.

There's a major discrepancy. Yeah, whenever you're looking for something, you just compare it. And then even if you're in the store where it's not cheap, you just show them. And a lot of them will just match it. And they hate that, but that's life. They really hate it. And they'll try to find a way around it. They'll be like, oh, no, that's parallel. I'm ported. I'm like, a way around it And they'll be like Oh no that's parallel

Unported I'm like okay Sweet I've got Absolutely no problem with that I'm going to buy An adapter plug Oh that's got an American power thing on it

I don't care I don't care That's not something That you're not I'm not a boomer You're not going to Freak me out with your Your weird technology words

Like power adapter Oh really No I don't want A power adapter I don't want to Buy a power adapter But yeah so this fridge Was for sale For four thousand And five dollars like power adapter. Oh, really? No, I don't want a power adapter. I don't want to buy a power adapter. But yeah, so this fridge was for sale for $4,005 somewhere.

And somewhere else it was $2,900. Wow. So, you know, like there's massive... Pays to shop around. Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Today's Top 6 are a national party have come out swinging with some policies and stuff.

Yeah. One of them being that the retirement age will go up to 67 if they're elected in 2020. Now that's really different from them. But they won't put it up for like... Until 2037. Yeah, right. So if at the moment you're 47,

that will affect you, the year. Right, but if you're older than 47, you'll be fine. If you're older than 47, you'll be at 65. So all the old voters that didn't want to pass off will be fine with this. Oh, yeah, I see. Yes, even though this is probably something we should be doing now. Yeah. Because of our old

population. Because I don't mind if it happens now, that's no problem, but if it happens two years before I get there, I'm going to be pissed off. The closer I get to it, the more pissed off I'm going to be. Yeah, okay. So, I can understand that that will always affect somebody, but just

get in there and rip the bandage off, get it done. So if we're not going to be able to retire until we're 67, we're going to need more jobs. Yeah. So I've got the top six jobs and the going rate

for those jobs for the 65 to 75, sorry, 65 to 67 year old age bracket. Number six, telling you modern music's rubbish, going rate $20 a time. My dad would make a lot of money from that.

He would make a killing in this arena. Yeah. No, this is rubbish. It's a dollar bonus if they can tell you that they can't understand any of the lyrics. When the lyrics can be heard, they just aren't listening and or are going deaf. Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six jobs for the 65 to 67 age group are blocking the supermarket aisle, having a 25 minute catch up with someone they saw last week. Yeah. Also in the supermarket. Yeah.

While also blocking the aisle. Yeah. $8 a pop. Oh, okay. Not a huge rate for that one, but it's also wildly inconvenient. Yeah. But the supermarkets will pay them

because when you're stuck behind them trying to work out how to get past you might see something you'll buy. Yeah, good call. That's how that works. Number four on the list of the top six jobs for the 65 to 67 age group telling you they're tired and that they only got four hours sleep last night, don't know why

might be their sore leg, then having a coffee right before bed. And I'm sorry if my mother's listening because that was directly verbatim targeted at you. That was, yeah.

Number three, let's move on because I want an inheritance. Which I might not get now because I'm not going to get the bloody pension for two more years. Number three on the list

of the top six jobs to the 65 to 67 age group telling you that you're barbecuing or baking wrong. Too hot, not hot enough, overcooked, undercooked. Yeah. They're just kind of hovering over your shoulder being like, oh, did you want to do that? Should you be doing that?

Where'd you get that idea from? $25 a time. Oh, okay. What a good rate for that one. Yep. Number two on the list of the top six jobs for the 65 to 67 age group is telling you to slow down when you're driving the speed limit by saying limit means limit.

Top. You don't have to cruise on it. It's the limit. Yeah. My mum will say something like, it's 70 around here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you're going 70. Yeah, or 80. Yeah, it just feels fast. like, it's 70 around here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you're going 70.

Yeah, or 80. Yeah, it just feels fast. Yeah, she's like... Going right $15 a time. So what do they get if they just lean over and look at your speedo? Real passive. Really passive aggressive. And they do that furrowed brow of just a bit of a...

What's going on over there? What's that needle on? What are we? You want to be careful of this corner. It says, this was a shrug for my mum. She's like, it says 55, but just go in at 45. Oh, my God. And number one on the list of the top six jobs for the 65 to 67 age group

are telling you that you don't need to stop for food 65 to 67 age group are telling you that you don't need to stop for food as there's food at home and you're almost home even though you're not anywhere near home. $12 a time.

Yeah, brilliant. $12 a time. What are you going to have for breakfast for? There's eggs in the fridge. They love that too. How often do you go out for a meal?

And then you get home and they tell you to have a piece of fruit. I'm hungry. Have a piece of fruit. I'm hungry. Have a piece of fruit. You promised me there was food on it! Still pull that.

Still pull it. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. So I said there's something millennials are doing that the older generation,

more mature people, would find a little bit weird. Would find strange. Okay. And it is having separate bank accounts. So people who are in long-term relationships, who are married, who are

partners in life, millennials don't share their money. Apparently it's more common. They're less likely to set up a joint bank account, even when married. Even when married. So what are they paying each other back for dinners?

Like, how's this working? Yeah, when married. So what are they paying each other back for dinners? Like how this house is working. So yeah, they are. So apparently because there's different, people are earning different rates, they don't feel comfortable borrowing off each other to pay for things they want. So you have your personal finances and then you pool what you need to for...

Living. Living. Right. For joint expenses. But it is more common for couples in their 20s and 30s these days to have separate finances and pay each other back for things, even though you're life partners. And if you split up, you get half of everything, right? But I remember we talked about you and Andrew getting a joint bank account ages ago.

Yeah. I mean, it sucks because they can see what you're spending. And then you get in trouble. But yeah, we just share everything and everything comes out of the one bank account. But do you know anyone that does this?

Yes. So I do know. I don't think I want to out them. Right. But I... Are they married or just... Affianced. Yeah.

They're engaged to be married. And they... I don't even think they intend to get a shared bank account when they're married. So at the moment, they do pay each other back for dinners. And I find it so weird because you go out with them and they'll be like, oh, are you paying for this? Because I paid for yesterday or whatever. Right.

And they're like, oh, you still owe me $40 from blah, blah, blah. Whereas if it was they're going out for dinner, you'd just take it from the shared account, wouldn't you? Check it on the credit card and pay it off out of the account. But if you break up, you get 50-50, right? Or are they still segregating it? But the other person's still, if you're in a de facto relationship, you're still entitled to 50-50.

Yeah. After two, three years? Three years. Three years. So what's the point? Yeah, but see, I just withdraw the money before we broke up.

I gambled it away. Good luck getting that. You're so vindictive. But that's the thing, you don't know that they're not saving, you know, tens of thousands of dollars

over all these years. Are you saying if you had a joint account? No, if you didn't. No, if you had separate accounts. So one person saved all this money and the other person squandered it and then they break up

and they're like, well, I'm entitled to half of that savings. Yeah. So you could, like Fletch said, just make a couple of big cash withdrawals and say I had a very short but aggressive addiction to gambling. And that money has definitely gone.

It's very strange to me. It's not at my mum and dad's house. Buried in a watertight container. In a biscuit tin. And Ternania, what about you and the boyfriend who have just recently moved into a studio apartment? Are you joint bank accounts? Yeah, so we, maybe 18 months ago, a year ago,

just made this new account and kind of started afresh. So we've still got our own savings from before that. Yep. But, like, now we just combine everything and just roll from there. But why don't you put all the savings in one? Because if you guys break up... Um, I guess you still have a bit of, like, financial independence. Like, you know?

How do you have savings? You just went to europe because i sponged off mom and dad for years i'm admiring evan you're sponging i couldn't like if i was living at mom and dad's and i'd be like oh i've got a little bit of money i'll just spend it it's because i do the buckets form what What do you mean? Oh, that's right. You're a barefoot investor, dad, rich dad, poor dad. You read a book. All of the things, yep. So I've got my splurge bucket, my save

bucket, and 15 other ones that I can't tell you what they're actually for, but they're there. Are they all different accounts? Yep. It's very confusing. Right. What about James? Do you and your girlfriend have a joint account? No, we're only just thinking about it it now because we're about to buy a house. Right.

And we've sort of decided we need to combine some accounts. Yeah, right. Because at the moment it is very much like, oh, I'll pay for dinner sort of thing. But you guys are de facto too because you've been together for seven years. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, coming up seven years. Cue that I knew that.

Yeah, we're only just thinking about it now. Shit, mate. Time to bloody put a ring on it, isn't it? Don't put societal pressures on James. No, I just know that that's what people say. I never thought, we only thought about one account. We didn't think about getting everything together. That just didn't cross my mind yet for some reason.

But the majority of people are nowadays having separate accounts. 20s and 30s have separate accounts. We've got trust issues there. Where's all the money going? We're like, what's mine is mine. Every little penny. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan,

the podcast. A US magazine did an article on correct etiquette when it comes to washing your dishes. They shared this online and said there's two sorts of people in the world, those who wash the bottom of their dishes and those who don't. You wash the bottom of your dishes. Like, for example, the plates. Because you stack your plates.

Yeah. So, of course, you wash the bottom. Yeah. And something you may have sat on something else that may have had chicken on it at some stage. You know what I mean? Like, everything's touching everything. You wash every part of it. But are people thinking that because you're dunking it in the water, that's enough?

It's coming off. Because sometimes you don't even get a plate fully submerged, though. You might put a plate on an angle in the water and scrub the top. But it's been sitting on another. That's when I flip it over and scrub the bottom and then give it the old dip-a-roo. But if people aren't doing that. But yeah, as you say, you stack the plates. We're all bottom washers.

Some of us more than others. With the advent of even with dishwashers Because I've got a dishwasher I'll still Scrub a plate Before I put it in the I'll rinse a plate Put it in the dishwasher Farrah rinse

I'll never You are a monster I don't rinse it Unless it's really got Residue Does the bottom grill In your dishwasher Get manky quicker?

You know the little thing At the bottom that catches The chunky bits There's a thing there Oh yuck Yuck That might be something That he's doing Yeah Like the drain in the shower You know the little thing at the bottom that catches the chunky bits? There's a thing there? Oh, yuck. Yuck. That might be something that he's doing, yeah. Yeah, Mr. Toilet Wooden.

Like the drain in the shower. Oh, yeah, it's like that, but man-care, if possible. You pull it out and there's... Little bits of baby. No. It's gross. I'm just imagining the shower thing. It looks alive.

Yeah. It's like, feed my man. You're like, no! Exit mode, exit mode, exit mode, exit mode, exit mode, exit mode, exit mode, die! But, yeah, who's not washing the bottom of their plates? This is absolute madness It turns out, quite a few people According to the internet

Yeah, quite a few people did say they'd put their hand up And admitted that they don't need to wash the bottom of their plates. I don't think they... We have asked you on our Instagram, our quick poll in the last hour, do you wash the bottom of your plates? 72% of people, yes. Oh, that's good. 28%.

No. Yeah, there's one in the flat. There's one in every flat, isn't there? Yeah. They probably don't wash the top of the plate either. You dry, you put it back, you stack your plates, and the other plates get sturdy. It's got residue on it.

Oh, this is madness. Yeah. I love that they... Do you wash... When you're washing a pot, do you wash the handle of the pot? I don't, like, give it a scrub, but I'll put it under the water and make sure it's got nothing on it. I mean, that's an area that's often forgotten

when it comes to the scrub as well. And, I mean, don't even get me started on forks and knives up or down in the dishwasher. That's a whole nother argument. Up, right? Do you go handle up or implement end up? Implement end up. Yeah, I go implement end up too. But some people are like, no.

Well, but then it's also a real, it's a dangerous game because you are more likely to get a fork prong between your nail and the finger. Yeah, but you don't rush into the cutlery thing. You've got to go in with caution. Oh, I can't slow down. It's all go when I'm getting in there in the dishwasher. I don't want to be all fancy and stuff, but when I got my dishwasher and I nearly rang them up and complained because I thought they'd left out

the cutlery tray, I was like, what have you done here? You've left out the little thing. The basket. Yeah, the basket. But I've actually got a whole top tray that comes out. It's like an inch, comes out, and you lay your cutlery sideways in this grid. Oh, that's nice.

It's next level. How does it dry if it's lying down? I don't like that. It's on its side. It's on its side. It all just trips off. It would actually dry quicker than in the basket because that water at the top doesn't have to run down the whole fork.

And your spoons don't go together or your forks don't go together in like a spoony fork way. Yeah. Yeah, because when you're putting them away, you're like, oh, that one didn't get a good wash. Exactly. And it's obviously perfect. Cuddling up to the back of the other spoon.

Explain to me this fork situation in the top rack. My forks have a girthy ass on them. Is there plenty of room? Plenty of room. You can even put some utensils up in there. How big are utensils?

Spatula? Yeah, you can put a spatula. Potato masher. No. Potato masher would be too thick both ways. I'd put that on the first drawer. Yeah, right.

What else have I got? Girthy. Like how long could you go? Oh, a foot and a half. Like a long wooden spoon? Could you outstretch your garlic crusher? Yep. Yeah, you could.

It sounds like it's doable. I'm telling you, this is the future. Wow. It's the future. You'd be nuts not to give that garlic crusher a good rinse out first, though. Yeah. You don't want garlicky residuals for your dishes. Have we covered washing dishes etiquette enough? Are we happy? Yeah. You don't want garlicky residuals for your dishes. Have we covered washing dishes etiquette

enough? Are we happy? Yeah. I think so. I'm just trying to think of other crimes my wife commits in the dishwashing arena.

Because you just do it yourself. I'll open up the dishwasher. I've told you that's the play. Be rubbish at it. She never has to do it.

I will audibly gasp. She's like, it's alright, I knew it'd do that. She never has to do it. I will audibly gasp. She's like, it's all right. I knew it'd do that. And what she'll do is she'll just put it on pots and pans setting every time. Because I was like, this isn't stacked. You know pots and pans setting? No, it's got like the setting and you twist it around and it's like light rinse, rinse, wash, intensive. Yep.

And pots and pans. You do hand wash pots and pans. I know. Yeah, you do. Thank you, Fleek. She always, and pots and pans. You get hand-washed pots and pans. I know. Yeah, you do. Thank you, Fleek. She always hand-washed pots and pans. But what I'm saying is she'll just stack it all higgledy-piggledy and then just put it on pots and pans.

And I'm like, stack it nicely in just an ordinary, because it goes longer, it uses more water, and it's hotter. Yeah. So we're adding up costs here, people. Take a little bit of time and effort. But you'll crank your heat pump all day. She'll crank the heat pump all day. She will, yeah.

They went away at the weekend and I turned the heat pumps off and I lived like you, socks and swan dries inside the whole time. I quite liked it because I felt like I was in a dock house. Doesn't sound healthy. There was a couple of Germans there too.

I don't know where they came from and they left really early in the morning. Blackout movie. This is why. Fat.

This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. Well, well, well, vegans,

you don't often get to partake in this is why I'm fat. This is vegan. You would say that this is primarily a meat or treat based, non-vegan treat based. We have

had a vegan treat before. I can't remember what it is. Was it an ice cream? Yes, it was an ice cream. Okay, someone went on the vegans. Well, today in America begins the trial of Beyond Fried Chicken. This is a KFC and

Beyond Meat are testing plant-based nuggets and boneless wings. Jummy. They're trying this in Atlanta in the southern states of America. Yeah. Known for their love of the fried chicken. There'll be a free sample

when you purchase something at KFC and they'll be asked for feedback. Right. And they're seeing whether or not this has enough appeal to warrant rolling it out. So the picture of that, it's in a green bucket. Oh, and it looks yum. I mean, if it's coated in the secret herbs and spices,

I'm all for trying this. If they can make it fly in the home of fried chicken, then that can work anywhere. Yeah. I'd be down for that. So they're just joining Burger King's got the impossible Whop anywhere. Yeah. I'd be down for that. So they're just joining. Burger King's got the Impossible Whopper. Yeah.

And it's US stores. Subway has a Beyond Meatball Maranara. Okay. Which is meatballs with no meat in them. Carl's Jr.'s got a meatless burger in America. And White Castle's got the Impossible Slider, which is a meatless burger as well. So they're joining the growing.

They're all for it. If it tastes delicious. That mince just tastes like mince to me that we get here. And have you ever had those chickenless chicken nuggets? No. Those are yum. Where do you get those from? In the supermarket.

There's a whole range of chickenless chicken. It's like going back to chicken nuggets in the early 90s. They were pretty much chicken-less chicken nuggets as well. They were rolling the dice, whatever's in those. Producer Caitlin, you've tried, what were you saying this morning? Fishless fish. Fishless fish, yeah, because I always eat the chicken nuggets. Yeah, they're so good.

They're like corn is what they're like with a Q. Corn, yeah, that's right. Yeah. And the texture, like I was cooking them and Dad's like, oh, are you eating fish now? And I was like, no, it's fishless. But they smell like fish. That creeps me out.

Yeah, that's the worst thing about fish is the smell of fish when you're cooking it. Get rid of the smell. But because my thing is, is that I really like the taste of chicken and fish. Like, I actually really like the taste of it. I don't want to kill the animal to eat it. So having that substitute.

You can eat it while they're alive. They don't like that anymore, though. So, yeah, and I really enjoy them. Where did you get fishless? I had not even heard of fishless fish. No, but where's the smell coming from? That creeps me out. Yeah, I don enjoy them. Where did you get fishless? I had not even heard of fishless fish. No, but where's the smell coming from? That creeps me out. Yeah, I don't know.

Are you sure you weren't eating fish? No. You were just eating fish, weren't you? Except you just misread what it was and you thought it said fishless fish. No, it was made out of tofu. Are you sure there wasn't like a 25% less of fish? No, it was fishless fish. It was fishless fish. It was fishless fish apart from the stink.

Like we use the stink of real fish. I don't know where that came from. That's odd. Get rid of that. What is fishless fish? I'm just trying to say, why does fishless fish smell like fish? Why does fishless fish smell like fish?

Yeah, it's still really bad for you because it's like battered but maybe that kind of gave off the illusion that it was fish like it smelled

like fish right like battered fish I don't know and what was the texture like it's um it definitely wasn't

like the fishy like fleshy but it was like soy so it kind of could come across as fish. I don't know. You're not doing a great job selling this.

It was yum. Smelly fish. It was yum. Vaughan's trying to do some research online on the fly. What have you found? I've found the story of fishless fish. Right. But it's quite a read.

Right. It's quite a read. Interesting. I'll bring some for you. We can But it's quite a reed. Right. It's quite a reed. Interesting. I'll bring some for you. We can have it next time. Yuck. But how's this? When they started doing it, the first thing they made was an anchovy flavoured broth. Look at that, it's a fish.

No, but it had no anchovy in it. But it was... Yuck. Why start there? Yeah. Oh, hey guys, we're going to try this new product. Oh, well obviously we'll have to make it attractive to people. No, we're going to try this new product. Oh, well obviously we'll have to make it attractive to people. No, we're going to make it disgusting sounding. Anchovy soup.

Let me change tack while we're doing this. This is while I'm fat. I'm getting a lot of correspondence from Australian listeners. Eminent, I believe, caramilk. Did you try that thing when we were away everybody was getting sent them The Whittaker's Honey Bubbly

So it's basically caramel with crunchy bits in it Oh yum I've eaten three blocks and I'm not ashamed of that I am not going to apologise No I need to give myself a little bit of time Because I've come back from holiday I'm doing that whole eating healthy thing Thursday or Friday

Okay blow out Easy Thursday or Friday? Okay, blowout. Blowout. Easy. Fact. This is why. Fact. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fact.

I sure hope this pre-recorded laughing isn't after something inappropriate to laugh at, but I just want to take a moment to say thanks to Spark for sponsoring the Fletch, Vaughn and Megan podcast. You can grab Spark's $29 prepaid rollover packs and get stacks of extra value. Back to the podcast. Just a little bit of a warning. We like to give people a heads up. If we're going to talk about this,

it's quite a sensitive subject for some people, but we're just briefly going to touch on suicide statistics in New Zealand as there's been a story released on that. So if you find that quite hard to listen to, take a leave of absence, come back in five minutes where we talk about old people being scammed. Sure. Laugh at that weird situation.

So really shocking statistics to get yesterday. News stories around that since records have been kept, New Zealand had more suicides last year than ever before. There were 685 suicides in the year to June 30, 17 more than last year. And to compare that to the road toll, the road toll of 2018 was 379. That's double.

Wow. Which is... About double. Yeah, yeah. And more than drowning? Yeah, more than drowning. I tried to find stats on drowning because I know that's a massive problem in New Zealand as well.

But yeah, it's more than that as well. The most shocking thing that I thought of when I heard that was that I feel like in the year been, we've been much better at discussing and talking. Oh, we've got a long way to go, especially with men's mental health. But like, we've been a lot more open with it and. There's never been more talk. Yeah.

No. About everything. Let's open up and talk to each other. The message has been out there, but it's a real problem in New Zealand that we have to get under control. Not talking about it in the right way. There was also not rock hard linking but apparently after the 13

Reasons Why was released which I thought kind of approached, it was shocking to watch but I hoped it would have made people talk but maybe not. Maybe people that said that needed to be censored more harshly had a point because after that came out suicide rates were up as well after that was released on Netflix.

So it is a wildly confusing and intense issue and there's so many levels to it and I think everybody would approach talking about it differently. But yeah, I would have thought the more talking about it would have been better. It would have made people open up and feel comfortable to discuss their feelings more than taking what is the most drastic thing you can do that ends it.

And given those stats, that's going to affect everyone. It's going to affect everyone in your lifetime, I would say. You're going to know someone who knows someone. Why in a country this small? We all need to do something. Yeah. So while we don't have the answers here, know that a world without you is certainly not going to be a better place.

There are people who, despite your darkest moments, there are people out there who love you and can't imagine the world without you in it. So always a lot of places that you can reach out and get help from as well. 100%. 0800 Lifeline, or you can text, free text HELP, which is 4357 for Lifeline. 1737's an easy one to remember off the top. You can free call that or text anytime. That's the easiest and shortest number to remember. There's Kidsline, there's WhatsApp.

As usual, you can find them at ZM Online or just you can Google where to find help in New Zealand and you'll find all of them. Ask your mates if they're all right all the time. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. Ask your mates if they're all right. All the time. There's been a story in the news about romance scams. The other scam that seems to go down, I think everybody's wised up to the Nigerian prince or the uncle.

I got one actually overnight. Have they though? Because New Zealanders get fleeced of hundreds, if not millions of dollars a year by online scams. We get fleeced, but now it's romantic online scams. Right. They're a big one. These ones are so much worse.

So 200. You lose money and get heartbreak. So 200 New Zealanders. Oh my God. Sorry. In the first three months of 2018, Kiwis reported losing $7.9 million to romantic scams.

That's just what I was about to say. 200 New Zealanders have been caught up in romance scams costing them a total of $7.9 million. 200? Yeah, 200 New Zealanders. So you divide $7.9 million. You do it, Fleek. Some on-the-fly math.

I don't know how many zeros there is. How many zeros? So hang on. 7,900,000. Yeah, divided by 200. Is that on that 79? 39,500 on average. And heartbreak.

That's like life savings kind of stuff for old people. Hell yes it is. That's like dipping into your KiwiSaver to send this money overseas. Hello, I've just turned 65. I'd like to withdraw all my KiwiSaver. What are you going to do with that? I'm going to send it to this Russian girl who's in love with me. So she can come and see me.

That's so sad. So, but they said, the BNZ have said they tried to convince a love struck customer that he was being scammed. Is this you? You're with the BNZ have said they tried to convince a love-struck customer that he was being scammed. Is this you? You're with the BNZ? I'm with the BNZ. So is he. He's with Alarm.

Oh, yeah. No, it's not me. Okay. So they said they met online. He said, I met her online. We formed a relationship. And I've been sending money overseas to them. And they said,

okay, this must have, alarm bells must have gone off for them when money started going regularly. Yeah. And so they check in and they said, well, I was helping them out because they were in a difficult situation.

It's just a loan. They're going to pay me back when they get here. And then it turns into the whole help them move here. And then they never turn up. No. And then one day they just disappear entirely after they feel like they've flessed you of enough money.

And then you don't get your parents' inheritance because they sent it all to Russia. But here's the thing, they've said to this guy you're being scammed. And he's like, no I'm not. I'm sending more money. And wants to send more money. Shake some sense into him.

Yeah, they said they looked into it. There was this person had been convicted of similar fraud previously and they presented the evidence and they're like, well, we all made mistakes. I'm in love with this person. I'm going to keep sending them money. Because the problem is I guess a lot of these people get lonely. Maybe they don't have anyone in their life.

And so they form these relationships online and they just get absolutely fleeced and it's so sad. Why don't they spend, wouldn't it be better to spend money to go over and see them? Yeah. Because wouldn't that be cheaper? Go there. And then the person would backpedal and be like,

oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. But then these people are like professional con men and women, so they'd be able to. Yeah. And it's obviously the gullible people falling for it. Some tips to avoid romance scams is to never send money to someone you haven't met in person.

Right. It's going to make it hard for this internet dating. Yeah, it really is. At long distance. Yeah. If the person who approached you sends photos of themselves, try putting it into the Google search bar to see if they've stolen it from somewhere else.

That's the reverse Google image. Yep. Search. Show any documentation they send you to somebody else to get them to verify it. That would include like a bank, right?

The bank would probably be the best place to go for that. And if you think you're being scammed, stop all contact. Yeah. Because they're likely

to be able to weasel their way back in. Well, you've always said to your parents if they're ever worried about anything online, run up way back in. Well, you've always said to your parents, if they're ever worried about anything online, run up to ask you. And they do every now and then. I'll get a text or a message on Facebook, Mum saying, is this legit?

And I'll be like, no, Mum. I always get emails from my mum and dad. Is this legit? That's all it says. Yeah, yeah. Can you ever look over this? Is this likely to be real? I'm like, no, Mum.

Mitre 10 would bankrupt themselves giving away $1,500 gift cards to the first 18 people that share it from a page with two likes. And then Mitre 10 and then a full stop at the end. Yes, Dad, that is a legit email from Apple. Did you say forgot password? Do you even have an Apple account? No, but I've tried putting in my Apple account.

It wouldn't work, so I put in my bank details. That seems to have worked. Oh, no. Yeah. So we want to know this morning when your people have been scammed. Your older people. The older people in your life. Yeah.

Have been scammed. Well, maybe you got in there just before someone got scammed. Maybe you stopped the scam. Yeah. That would be pretty cool, too. You're like a modern-day superhero. You before someone got scammed. Yeah, maybe you stopped the scam. Yeah. That would be pretty cool, too. You're like a modern-day superhero. You stopped someone being scammed. Snuck in there at the 11th hour.

All right, well, 0800DARLSATM, if you've got a story, you can text 9696. When has an old person in your life been scammed? Have you got one of these romance scams or online scams? Because, I mean, heck, if we're losing $8 million in, like, three or four months online, there must be some pearler stories from the last couple of years online.

I mean, they're probably not going to be hilarious, probably quite sad. But I think we can all learn from it, because then we can keep an eye on the older people and maybe get their bank, log in bank details, just to be safe. Oh, now I'm starting to sound like a scammer aren't i yeah yeah hey mom you just give me all your bank details so taking those stories from you when you've been uh well when an old person in your life has been scammed it's horrific

stories coming that that's the thing these, it's mind-blowing. And I guess it's something you kind of need to talk to people about to chat to them to say, hey, if you do ever, because this is the deal with my parents, I said if there's anything ever suspicious, just ask. Run it by me. Yeah, yeah, and we'll have a bit of a cynical eye. My mother's very cynical as it is. I get it from her.

But she's like in-person cynical. I'm a bit more tech cynical. I feel like you need like an online payment ban for them. Be like, if you're going to do a payment online, you need to run it past me first.

Any payment, anything to do with your money. Just insane. My father-in-law got hit by one of those. We can see your computer is at risk. Log in and check.

We'll walk it through. The phone call's just a random phone call. They claim they're from Microsoft or something. They stole $10,000 out of his bank account. Oh my God. So this isn't even like a, this is a door

knocker scam. My grandpa had a door knocker with a life-changing chair for sale. Granddad was 90 and he spent $14,000 on a Niagara armchair. Oh my God. Couldn't return it or anything. When he died, $15,000 on a Niagara armchair. Oh, my God. Couldn't return it or anything. When he died, my cousin took the chair and sold it for $500 because she's a huckery bitch.

That sounds just like a family situation there. I do appreciate when you call your cousin a huckery bitch. That was pretty cool. That's a great insult. My mother-in-law was having trouble loading her hotmail on her phone. She went into a shop. They gave her a number to call. She went home and called it.

Two hours later, she called my husband and said that all her devices had bugs and the guy on the phone was in her computer trying to help her sort it. And then she started getting scammed and she realised that the person in the store had given her a dodgy number. Wow. And the scammer was on the phone saying,

oh, so you need to log into your bank so we can change the password when he was in control of the computer on the other end because he'd given her that. And then once he was in, oh. Yeah.

Leanne, what happened? Okay, so my nana lives in Christchurch and she was alone. She lives alone at the time because my granddad's gone. Yeah. And what these people did was they went round,

knocked on her door and told her that her power automatic payment had not been going out. She's an old school, so she obviously goes to the bank and does all that sort of thing. Yeah.

So she was a bit confused, and they said to her, look, we can fix it now if you give us your card. We'll give you a new card, and we'll get it sorted for you. So they took her card, because she believed them, and they gave her a Prezi card. She was none the wiser that it was a, you know, just one of those blank cards that you can get from anywhere. Yeah. And they managed to get $73,000 from her. Oh my God. No, that is so sad. And did she ever get that back?

He got a portion back through the bank, but it really upset her and she was never really the same since. That's, to be honest, Leanne, that's the sad part of these stories is that so many people are saying that old people are so embarrassed about it that half of them probably don't even get reported. No. They just let it happen. Leanne, thanks for your call. This text message, somebody said,

My mum got scammed and had to take out a loan to pay it back. Yeah. And we only actually found out after she passed away. She was really embarrassed. She confided in one of her friends. She didn't want her kids to find out. That's me. Completely broke my heart.

Now, whenever I hear about scammers, it just absolutely makes my blood boil. Yeah. That this happens. Oh, you don't have to be embarrassed. It's almost like you've got to have a talk to your parents or your grandparents and say, look. Yeah.

This is the thing. There's people out there that are going to take advantage. And that's the thing. They're not, none the wiser. They haven't had the internet most of their lives. No. Who can look a lovely older person in the eye and do that? That's horrible.

Sarah, you used to work in a supermarket and you'd see a scam all the time. Yes. It was very common. Okay. So how would the scam go? So the people over the phone would call our customers and say for them to go

and purchase gift cards of $100 plus. Right. Load the gift cards and then go home and tell them the code. Right. To be able to use it.

Would they be blackmailing them? Or just scamming? I'm not sure they were blackmailing them, but I'm pretty sure they were being threatened because we used to have one old man come in a lot for numerous different gift cards and no matter how many times we told him that he was being scammed,

he would keep coming back. Oh, that's so sad. Oh, my God. And we would even sometimes tell him that it was a scam and to go back and tell this person on the phone that he's not going to do it. And he would try and pretend that it was actually for him. So we think he was actually quite scared.

Right. Oh, my God. That's terrible. That's really sad. Sarah, thanks for your call. Some more messages. Someone said, I know a guy who's currently in the same situation.

He won't believe it's a scam. We look at her photos, and it's even got to the point where we say to him, if she is real, why would she be with you? To try to get across to the point of how ridiculous this is. But he's lonely and he wants it to be real. He sent thousands of dollars, always with the idea that it's money for her to come and see him. But then she always has something else pop up and she uses the money for that.

He's lost the relationship with his family over it. They all just wiped their hands of it and walked away. Because what are you supposed to say to someone who's just so convinced? But even your point, Megan, if you're going to send tens of thousands of dollars, spend $2,000 to jump on a plane, go and see them. And if they're not going to front up, then... You know it's not real. So a couple of others, somebody said on their work account,

a guy at work got a scam email and he said, this will be funny, I'll reply. And would keep everybody in the loop with how this was going. Yeah. So they would come and he'd be like, I've got another email. And people would crowd around him, ha ha, write one back. And in the end when he was like, you're a scammer, blah, blah, blah, they email bombed, I don't know how this stuff works,

but they email bombed the company and crashed the company server. Because the people at the other end are obviously fairly tech savvy and just absolutely their servers were shut down for three days. It cost them tens of thousands of dollars to get professionals to sort it out. So there's no point even engaging them. I thought you were going to say they turned out to be real when they got married. Oh, that would have been such a better end game.

That's what everyone wants, isn't it? And someone said, it's not all old people. My grandma's an old school cynic. If an unknown phone number calls her, she picks up the phone and blows a whistle into the receiver. It's my kind of woman. We've tried telling her, Grandma, not every unknown number is a scammer.

It could be the bank or someone ringing to see if you're okay and she said, I'm not taking any risks. The whistle, I love it. Brilliant. Blow a loud whistle in there. All right. Joining us in studio next, Jimmy Neesham to talk about the Black Caps Summer Series. We've got the first tickets to the first game as well.

The Black Caps versus England. T20. Maybe a bit of revenge for that World Cup final. And maybe some mending of the beef. Because, Megan, you sent a message. You DM'd him. And he's left you unseen. Bitch.

How rude. Flesh-forn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, when was the final of the Cricket World Cup? How many weeks ago now, months? I don't know. A month? Five weeks. Six.

Six weeks. Six weeks. Six weeks. And just that moment that was just incredible. Two to win. Gatil's going to push for two. They've got to go. It's got to go to the keeper's end. He's got it.

England have won the World Cup by the barest of margins. By the barest of all margins. Absolute ecstasy for England, agony, agony for New Zealand. All right, Smithy, wrap it up, mate. Jeez, a little out again. Jimmy Nation, the man that was actually out there while it was happening, joins us in studio. Good morning.

Morning. Yeah, that's fun listening to that sort of stuff. That's great. That's, um, that was, I've never even considered that we saw it happening from this side, but you were out there in the bloody middle of things. Yeah, that's real people out there. Yeah, I know. You were there and now you're here.

Yeah, the magic of flight. One of the most incredible sporting moments of all time. Yeah, people have been telling me that over the last six weeks or so, but yeah, it's one of those things that takes a little while to sink in. I think you wake up in the morning for a few weeks and look at the ceiling

and you sort of think, has that actually happened? And obviously we've had another fantastic Ashes test as well since then. So cricket's sort of going from strength to strength at the moment, which is great. And you've just been in Canada. Yep, yeah, there's you've just been in Canada. Yep.

Yeah, there's a T20 competition in Canada, which is sort of part of the landscape at the moment, which is pretty cool. It was an opportunity that came up during the World Cup and it was actually fantastic. It was a great way to sort of get back on the horse, I guess, in a pretty low pressure environment where, well, it's certainly not in New Zealand.

Not many people are paying attention to what's going on. So it was good to get back out there and, yeah, start playing again. Canada's not even like North America, the continent's just not where I would consider cricket to even really be played, let alone Canada. It's so cold in winter. It's actually, yeah, it's really hot in summer. Yeah, summer is lovely, but. It was fantastic.

There's sort of beach bars and that sort of thing. It's great. What's their summer sport? Baseball, I assume. Well, I know it's ice hockey. It's their main sport. Yeah, yeah. But there wasn't any on when we were there.

But yeah, baseball seems to be the main contender. And they've also got the Canadian Football League, which is kind of like the budget NFL. Right. Which is the other one going on. It's much more polite. They hit each other. They're like, sorry.

Oh, God, sorry. God, I hurt you. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Have some maple syrup. So then what's next on the cricket calendar for you? For me, I fly out tonight to the Caribbean playing for Trinidad in their T20 competition as well. Ooh, la, la.

So that sort of takes me through. Yeah, that'll take me through to mid-October when we sort of get back and we've obviously got a bumper summer coming up for the Blackcaps as well. So looking forward to getting into it. So this is one of the busiest summers for New Zealand cricket at home, visiting.

Who have we got? England first up, India, Australia, and the South African women's side will be part of the summer. Yeah, so I only had to prepare for the first three of those and then the white fans will take on the South African women, obviously. But yeah, there's plenty of T20s for the first three of those and then the white fans will take on the South African woman, obviously. But yeah, there's plenty of T20s for the, I suppose, the casual fans

that have the shorter attention spans. So we've obviously got the... Yeah, proudly. I don't mind T20 at all, but it's just an ongoing issue I have with test cricket is that it's five days long and it can end in a draw. Be honest. How much of the World Cup final did you watch live?

We watched live. I watched like when I got to work. So like the last few hours. I didn't watch the first part. Oh yeah, of course. Because it was late morning, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was perfect for you guys.

We arrived. Yeah, we caught all the action. The action part of it. We had to put the show on hold in the final morning. Yeah. Just to watch it basically. morning wouldn't it yeah yeah yeah so it was perfect we arrived yeah we caught all the action we had to put the show on hold in the final morning yeah yeah just to watch it basically when you're when you're in a big game like that how many messages do you get in your inbox on instagram uh i think i sense an ambush you're a bit of a heart problem black cats heart drop don't start. Megan's upset because you left her on sane. No, do you know what?

I've just checked my messages. Jimmy's got out of it and he just wrote back. Wrote back just before you came in. Yeah. I've been listening. Nah, you can't get one up on me, guys. Hot play from Jimmy Nation. But seriously, how many messages did you get after the final? I think, I mean, from people you know or just from people in general?

Well, say people in general. People are probably a couple of thousand maybe. Oh, my God. Yeah, people you know probably three or four hundred. So you sort of, especially when you know what they all are, they're all the similar sort of theme of all of them. You sort of scroll through the first 10 or 15 and then you're obviously sobbing in the shower.

It's not like you want to be reading. Yeah, it's good. The iPhone 10 is waterproof, so you can actually cry in the shower while looking at your DMs. Yeah, you can cry straight onto the phone. Do you hear from people that you played cricket with when you were, like, much younger? Yeah.

Like your intermediate cricket coach? Yeah. Oh, definitely. Where you went wrong, son? Where you went wrong was? It's exactly like when you were 12. Oh, no, you don't get that, do you? Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Are you kidding me? New Zealand armchair coaches are so prolific. Yeah. Oh, you get the odd. Oh, well, you know, not as good as our partnership back in under 12s. You know, that sort of thing. And you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that, definitely.

Yeah, no, great. That's good. Yeah, no, definitely. That's how that partnership worked. It was an absolute stonker. Hey, well, Jimmy, thanks for coming in. Good luck in the Caribbean. And then for the home series and the...

Even bad luck in the Caribbean. You're in the Caribbean. Even if we lose every game, it's still fun. Have you been there enough that you've done the touristy stuff? Like, have you been to the place where you swim with the pigs? Or is that the Bahamas? Is that like comparing New Zealand and Australia, the Caribbean and the Bahamas?

I'm not from either, so I can't really... Yeah, no, I'm just saying they're close, but they're different. You should definitely try and get an Instagram with the pigs on the beach. I'm sure I can find some pigs. Swimming on the pigs. Swimming on the pigs. They've got to be everywhere. My hope is that when the Black Eyed Peas are here for Friday Jams Live.

They'll re-record it. They'll re-record an actual version for us. They sound fun. I hope they will. Yeah. Let's see. We can only but ask. Either that or they'll sell us for using their music.

For a stupid segment. One of the two. Is it a stupid segment? It's got its own Jiffy Gif on Instagram. Giffy. Oh, yeah, it does. You can use it. Don't get flinched at a Jiffy Gif.

So I was wondering, Megan, if you had any thoughts on blinking lights on appliances or electronic. Blinking lights. Well, for example, Megan, if your router was just to let you know that it was indeed still connected to the internet by flashing a light. Right. So that blinky light actually makes me feel quite good because I'm like, yes, connected. Confirmation.

Visual confirmation that I am still part of the world. Happy about it. Yeah, okay. Good. Me too. I don't mind it. Yeah. Fletch, what do you reckon about bl. Happy about it. Yeah, okay, good. Me too. I don't mind it. Yeah. Fletch, what do you reckon

about Blunky Lies? Well, okay, well, since you brought it up, I recently got a new router because I signed on for another whatever months of internet and they sent me a new router.

And you have, your internet is now lightning, lightning quick. It's fiber. It's great. Can you work at it over a thousand times faster than my internet? I like to rub it in Vaughan's face because he downloads in the rural speeds of the 90s.

It's very, very 90s. So I set up this new router. And you know when you're at home and you've had dinner and you're like, okay, it's time to Netflix. And you turn all the lights out. You get on the couch. You've got all your remotes. It's dark because I like dark. dinner and you're like, okay, it's time to Netflix. And you turn all the lights out. You get on the couch. You've got all your remotes. It's dark because I like dark.

Especially if you're watching a movie. Okay. And at the corner of the room, it's like a bloody Christmas tree of green flashing lights. It's not necessary for all these lights on the router. But why don't you just like... So now I hide the router behind, behind, but you still get the green glow. Flash around.

And it's more aggressive than the last router. I swear they're just like... Like an aeroplane could come in and land with these green flashing lights. Is it? It's not necessary. Could you put it in something? And I can't put tape over it Because it's got a grill I'm guessing for like

Heat to get out Yeah yeah Important So and I looked online Apparently you can There's like little You know those like Pinterest hacks

Yeah For hiding your router You can hollow out a book And you put it in a book Why don't you put Twink on the lights Then you won't know Where they're going

That's not a bad idea Because I was going to say Paint over them With Vivid but no, twink's better because it's actually like a coating.

And then you can always, if you need to see, you can give it a wee scratch, scratch, scratch. That might actually, okay, so then That's actually a great solution. That's an issue.

But then I go to bed and in our apartment building they've just installed smoke alarms in all the bedrooms. Safety. Which is safety, which is great.

New smoke alarms. They don bedrooms. Safety. Which is safety, which is great. New smoke alarms. They don't want you to die. They flash orange every 30 seconds. Do they? That could be a good way for you to get to sleep. That's annoying. That's annoying because if you're lying on your back. One, two, three.

You're lying on your back. I'd count and see if I could hit it exactly on 30. And I was like, no, you did not install a flashing light in my bedroom because I will tape over any red light on a TV screen, alarm clocks. I don't want to see light at all. Yeah, having shared hotel rooms

and he just walks out ripping out everything at the wall that's got a light on it. I rip out the alarm clocks because I don't want any bright lights. What is wrong with you? I like a nice dark room to sleep in. There's nothing wrong with that.

He's a vampire. He likes being locked in his coffin at night. What about when you're in a movie cinema and you can see the exit sign? Or I can see Vaughn on his phone. Put your phone away. No, I've got to look on my internet movie database from where I know that person from.

I always see you scrolling in the cinema. You can look after the movie. I'm in the internet movie database. I've got to know. Do you know, recently I got Amazon, the Amazon Prime. Oh my God, that's really good because it shows the people. You pause it. You're watching the scene and you're like, pause,

and it will give you a list of who's in that scene. Or like music songs that are in that scene. Oh, that's amazing. I know, and you can be like, thank you very much, Amazon. Start playing again. Great feature. Rather than see Vaughn scroll through his phone and then tell Fletch audibly to the whole cinema

who it actually is. You know where that person's from, Fletch? I'd be like, great. I was wanting to know, but I was willing to Google after the movie. It was from that British drama that we watched in 2012. Very familiar face. You shush.

I'd pause the movie and show me who was in the scene Between the two of you you're so bloody annoying God Flashy McFlasheson over here and you're loud I'm just saying

we don't need ten flashing lights on a router or anything You want a dimmer switch on your router I want a dimmer switch on my router

Or just yeah a button where you could turn off the lights Because I'm thinking about putting my router in a drawer, but then I don't want the signal to go down

because I've already got some iffy bits in my bathroom and one of the corners of my bedroom. Oh, really? Yeah, so I don't want to sacrifice, you know, fast Facebook. I don't think your telco could fix the iffy bits in your bathroom. Slight change of subject. What do you think about the Amazon being on fire? Oh, my God! What can I do about that? He just threw his hands up. What can I do about the Amazon being on fire? Oh, my God.

What can I do about that? He just threw his hands up. What can I do about that? What? That's not something I can fix, is it? But I can fix the lights on my router. I'm getting a twink pen. When's the last time you had a twink pen?

No, don't get a twink pen. Why not? Because that's very hard to, you want to brush. You want a twink pottle. Do they still do twink pottles? They do. Oh, great. They do.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the King of the Netherlands. Okay. King of the Netherlands. Were you about to say King of the North the King of the Netherlands. Okay. King of the Netherlands. Were you about to say King of the North? King of the North? Maybe. Maybe that's what it felt like I needed to say. Willem Alexander

ascended to the throne in 2013, but he continued his day job. Oh, okay. Does it not pay well to be the king? I know. He just enjoyed it. He said, I find it simply fantastic. Oh, okay. And what does he do? it. He said, I find it simply fantastic. Oh, okay.

And what does he do? He's a co-pilot for a commercial airline, KLM. Surely he wouldn't be allowed to do that. No. If you're the king. Because, you know, like in good grief. He was doing it incognito at least twice a month. But he wouldn't say, good morning, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard this flight, KLM.

I'm the king of the Netherlands and your co-pilot. Also you'd be like, is my pilot drunk? Yeah. King of the Netherlands. Hey guys, I'm the king of the Netherlands. I'll be here smoking a pancake. So he did it and apparently it only happened a few times

but passengers would recognise his voice and say to the flight attendants this isn't the King of the Netherlands, is it? Why wouldn't they just get the first officer to do the announcements? He was, so he was co-pilot. Oh right, so he's the first officer. Is that the same as first officer?

Get the captain to do it then. But also imagine you're the captain and your co-pilot's the King of the Netherlands. He'd be like, put the landing gear down. He's like, don't tell me what to do. I'm the King of the Netherlands. You put the landing gear down. Or he's like, I want to turn.

It's like, well, no, I'm flying. He's like, excuse me, I'm the King of the Netherlands. Give me that. Can you pass me that controller? Switch seats, I'm the king of the Netherlands. Give me that. Can you pass me that controller? Switch seats, I'm the king of the Netherlands. So he also learnt, even after he became king, to fly a new sort of aircraft. Okay.

He was a big fan and he just absolutely loves it, so it's what he'd do to almost relax. Right. And does he still do it? No word if he still, I think they've gone a bit quiet on it. Right. And does he still do it? No word if he's still, I think they've gone a bit quiet on it. Right. But it was, yeah, he did continue it for a few years after he ascended to the throne. So maybe he still sneaks out for a little flight.

A little Amsterdam to Berlin return or something. Yeah, why not a casual weekend trip down to Berlin. Yep. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the King of the Netherlands kept his day job as a pilot even after he became King of the Netherlands. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast.

Since we moved at the end of last year, I've wanted chickens, acquired goats and sheep and another dog and stuff since, but. My chair's sinking. But I have been working lately on, the chair's still going, I'm going to ditch the chair. Working lately on getting the chicken coop up to standard. Well, you mentioned yesterday you did all your building. Yeah.

Built a fence and everything. And inquired locally about some chickens. Found a man selling said chickens. Purchased said chickens. You didn't muck around yesterday. You got them. Yeah. Well, he messaged and he said, all good.

Oh, mate. So like real short messages. I said, well, can we come now? And he said, yep, come now. So it was all go. What did you just take the Hyundai around? No, I got a couple of boxes. Yeah.

Because I read that chickens in the dark, they're a little bit more calm. So you want to put them in a dark box. Okay. And it was only a very short ride. So I went around, didn't have the box taped up, had them flat because I'd disassembled them, so I needed to fold them in that way where they don't come undone really easy.

Oh, yeah, okay, I know how to do that. One flap over the other. One flap, one flap, one flap. Last flap, you've got to be like, you go, push it under there. You do have to bend it, but it's a good way to fold a box. Yeah. So I did that, got the chickens in the boxes.

Yeah. That was quite mind-blowing. He just walked up to these chickens and just real quick he'd be like, and grab them by the legs and have them upside down. And then they're just kind of like chill. Right. Like a bat. And he's like, you've got to grab them here because otherwise you get the talons.

Right. Oh, yeah, they're sharp. And that made me, you've got to grab them here because otherwise you get the talons. Right. Oh, yeah, they're sharp. And that made me laugh because it reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon Dynamite when he's working at that chicken place and they talk about the chicken talons. So there was a quick giggle from me. Not enough where he inquired as to what I was laughing about. Yeah. It was more like a...

And then on we went. And so the chickens got put in the box, took them home. How many did you get? Eight chickens Now I'm aware that that's far too many chickens For eggs for a family of four But I'm going to have eggs for you But you're giving them to us

Yeah I'll bring in eggs That's fine Well you're not expecting us to pay for them are you? No Okay good Oh that's good Good thinking

Because I did wonder I didn't want to ask Because then I didn't want him to like think that Oh that's a good idea. So there's no expectation for payment here. You could donate if you have perhaps like, because I know you buy oats, if a bag of oats goes off. Oh, my God.

Are we doing like a bath? You feed the chickens. You have to get a bag of pellets. No, I've got the bag of chicken feet. I've got the chicken feet. Okay. You don't need. The chicken feet smelt really good and I tasted it.

Is that weird? Yes. It is very weird. It was like a really... Like porridge-y. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's oats, isn't it? It does smell good.

It smells gross. No, no. It smelt really good. It smelt sweet. I think there's a whole lot of stuff in there. So you... I don't know who's left. This is happening.

So it's done. It's in and I took the Klockctashians in because there's eight of them and they're all named after Kardashians. Okay. So there's Khloe, Kim, and Kourtney. Yep. Kylie. Yep.

Kendall. Yep. Kris. Yep. Caitlyn. Yep. And Rob. Okay.

And have you named the place they live? Well, no, I hadn't even really thought about it. But like we just talked about before that they live in Calabasas, right? So there's got to be something in there like Cluckabassas. But I don't Cluckbashians, Cluckabassas. It might be too much Cluck. Maybe we need to concentrate on another aspect of where they live. But anyway, I put them in.

I opened the box. They hopped out. They're like, okay, this is our new home. Yeah. And they walked outside to enjoy the outdoor area that I'd made them. Yeah. And they flew straight over the box. They hopped out. They're like, okay, this is our new home. Yeah. And they walked outside to enjoy the outdoor area that I'd made them. Yeah. And they flew straight over the fence. You've got to clip their wings.

So that's, but then is like that, is that still kosher? I don't know because I remember as a kid, you'd just get the snips out and just cut a bit of the end of the wing off. So I've Googled how to do it and there's nothing cut apart from the feathery bits on the end of the wings. It doesn't look cruel and I couldn't find anything that anybody said it was cruel.

One woman said it's actually kinder because it keeps them in a safe area rather than... Yeah, and then they can't be hunted. And that's the thing, we've got dogs and cats. Yeah. And also it's better than locking them up in a cage. That's also true. That's also true. That's also true.

They've got a lovely little outdoor area and there's a gate so I can let them out like when the dogs and cats aren't around and the goats aren't because I'm worried about the goats because my sister had a goat and it killed a chicken. It was just playing. Imagine if your favourite goat, Helen,

murdered a chicken. Which one of the Kardashians would it be? No, Rob doesn't come out. It's really sad. Rob went into the nesting box and didn't come back out. And it's just like Rob in real life. Classic Rob. He doesn't want to be on the show anymore.

He is. Now, are you going to name, like, are you going to write on Vivid on them or something? So I ordered yesterday after we talked about being able to identify chickens and how hard it was. Somebody said you can get coloured anklet bracelets. Oh, okay. So what I did is I ordered a box of 12 and it's 12 different colours. So we'll clip them on and then write on a piece of paper, red equals Kim.

You need to put little diamantes on them. They need to be like like a little bit of a blank. No, because what if they pick off the diamante and eat the diamante? I don't want one of your eggs and there's a diamante in it. I know, imagine if it comes out with a diamante on it. That'd be quite bougie though. Like a double yoga, but exactly extra bougie. With a diamante on it. That'd be quite bougie though. Like a double yoga, but exactly extra bougie.

With a diamante on top. That's how we know it's from your place. It's got a diamante. It's diamante eggs. Yeah. So, and I'm learning lots. Like yesterday I put up some things because I know they like to sit up off the ground, perches, but apparently the thing I put was too thin.

You told me that. But you told me I need to put up a bit of 4B2. Oh, I was going to say 2B2. 2B2. Oh, 2B2. I said 2B2. Because someone said they want to be able to get their claws around it. But I've got this branch that's come off this tree

that's probably the absolute perfect candidate for that. Have they gone into the little boxes where they're supposed to lay the eggs? Rob went in there, but then somebody said, you're not supposed to let them in there unless they, you don't want them to get into the habit of going in there because they poop where they're supposed to lay the eggs? Rob went in there, but then somebody said that you're not supposed to let them in there unless you don't want them to get into the habit of going in there because they poop where they sleep. So up on the roost, they poop and it falls off

onto the ground underneath. Right. So you don't want that to become a habit. I'm learning lots about poultry husbandry. Right. Yeah. But also that they can fly over a 2.2 metre fence. Yeah.

Which I read online would be sufficient to house them. I can't believe you've named them because then when you go to crockpot them, you're going to have to eat Kim Kardashian. They're not crockpot chickens though. They're not an eating, they're a laying breed. Are you sure? Because that's why crockpots are great, even for the toughest meats. No, it's not the way that it is. There's just not much.

I don't think there'll be much meat on them. Right. I was thinking of getting some of those chickens. Like, I mean, do you call them, they're bred differently so they grow real big without hormones and stuff, but it's like a different breed of chicken you breed specifically for it.

But then I've got ghastly memories as a child of the days at my grandparents' house we had to behead the chickens. What? Okay, now just buy them from the supermarket. Sounds way better. Way easier.

Someone else cut their heads off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too? Subscribe on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

And music lives here. ZM.