ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 28 2018

Episode Date: August 27, 2018

Soundkeeper Gary lost Fletch's GPS, Megan was surprise weighed yesterday and when did you lie about being pregnant?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi a gig a day on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The Prime Minister off to Nauru. Right down the list on my Pacific Islands to visit. But, you know, you've got your Fijis, your Samoa, your Ropi Islands, Tonga. Nauru's.

I actually just looked up Nauru. It does look lovely. I know it's... Is it a tourism hotspot, though? Not a hotspot, no. Japanese World War II outpost. Oh, okay. Yeah, so crucial piece of...

Am I the only one who didn't know that existed? Nauru. No, you would definitely have heard it. It's the refugees. It's when people get to Australia on the boat. They're like, oh, well done on making it. Go that way and take them to Nauru. And there's like these horrendous refugee camps there.

Really? Yeah, yeah. It's really sad. So I think they're holding the summit there to try to get it sorted. That and the vegans having a protest on the stock routes, on the routes of the stock trucks. They know sheep can't read, right? We love you, sheep.

Meh. So sheep, thank you. I love you too. Just general confusion. Now, the top six is coming up deals with the word vegan. Yeah, a vegan food brand is looking to rebrand the word vegan because lately there's been some pretty full-on vegan protests that have involved violence, tipping blood on people.

Like overseas, like butchers have been beaten up. Militant protests. Militant vegans. They're looking to rebrand the word vegan. So I've got the top six ideas for a vegan rebrand. I'm big on board with the vegans. Also coming up...

More meat for me if they're not eating it. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. I've got three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan decide which headline we delve into. Headline one, couples four-year struggle to have baby. Headline two, man spreads father's ashes and his.

And headline three, man caught driving a lemon. Man spread his father's ashes and his is the man that went to spread his father's ashes from a light aircraft. But whenever light aircraft are in the news, it's never a good story, is it? No. Yeah, Megan, yes. Oopsie daisies. So, yeah, he was up there and he crashed and he did. He did. He did.

He did now too. Okay. Yeah. What was story number one? That could be sweet. Couples four-year struggle to have baby. Four-year? I can't believe you haven't seen this story over the weekend.

It's been online a couple of days. It's lols. Oh, I thought it was going to be like heartfelt. Oh, yeah, it's heartfelt as well as lols. It's hard to tell with you. You don't really have a grasp on heartfelt and appropriate when it comes to this sort of thing. Okay.

Oh, I need to know now. Okay. Couples four years struggle to have a baby. Yeah. I just want to see Fletch Flander when he realises he's been wildly insensitive to people. No, I'm not being wild. Okay, we go to China now. We're a man who's 26.

Excuse me, we go where? To China. China. To China. To China. We're a 26-year-old man and his wife, who's 24, went to the doctor after failing to conceive a baby. Now, they have been trying for the last four years. Okay.

Now, that is when Vaughn's clicked. I think I've clicked. The doctor did some checks, and he said, you're still a virgin. Oh, what's happening? You've clicked? Yeah. They were having the wrong type of sex.

Like it was going in a hole down there. Well, Vaughn, we were dancing around that, sure. But yeah. How? So for four years, Megan's really finding this hilarious. Was it just a general muddle up of holes? Like, or was she poorly educated? I just think they just had no idea, both of them.

Had no idea. It's actually a little bit sad. But the doctor would have had to break down. Like, how would you have got to the point to realise that what they were doing was not right? You'd have to be like, okay, so doubt you, you love each other very much and then you go and then... The doctor would have been like, what a...

What hole are you putting in there? Well, the doctor would have been like, the one? What do you mean just on the one? What do you mean the one? The one hole. She'd never like, try this other one. Yeah, right. Well, she... Oh, there's this other thing that's happening down there,

but that's mostly just... She's... Skin, I think. She told the doctor that the experience with her husband was usually painful. Oh, my God. For her every time, but she suffered through it

because she wanted to become pregnant. That's when the doctor decided he'd do an exam because he thought, well, maybe she's got some kind of gynecological disease. Yeah, yeah, sure. And that's when he realised that she was, in fact, still a virgin. Holy hell.

And by the process of elimination, and with some more... Yeah. Dear God. Yeah, apparently the doctor, Dr. Lu, handed the couple a sex-ed handbook and also gave them some guidelines before they were sent home. Dr. Lu's just like, Jesus. Guys, great news, though, because a couple of months later...

She's pregnant. Pregnant. Oh, my God, we've been doing it wrong this whole time. Yeah. They never heard up the bum, no babies. Had they never come up in conversation? I don't know

if there's a terrible thing to say and I don't regret saying it, but I'm not pleased to have said it on the radio. But, like, there's so many.

Good Lord. Yeah. What the heck? Yeah, I don't know, Vaughan. I don't know if there's a Chinese equivalent to that saying. There's got to be. This is really tickling you, isn't it?

I just, she should know that there's... Well, no, they'll obviously wait until the marriage. They've never done it. I know, but, like, why did they choose that one? Pinggu mion yingya. Up the bum, no babies. I've got the audio here. Oh, no. No, we don't have the audio. Pinggu mion ying babies. I've got the audio here. Oh, no.

Do you want the audio? Ping guo mi yo ying er. You've already said it. Ping guo mi yo ying er. That actually did pretty good, didn't I? Like, that sounded a lot like what I said. Ping guo mi yo ying er. Ping guo mi yo ying er.

Can you please stop insulting our Chinese listeners with that? No, it's not insulting. It's including them. Right, okay. You've said that all too many times already. You have. F.M. So there is a whole bunch of no-no's,

apparently, when it comes to doing your hair that might be making you look older than you actually are. So these are hair mistakes, and they come from celebrity hairdressers. Now, you threw some sass at producer Caitlin because she put her No, I was throwing sass at you too because you don't have hair. Yeah, I thought she was throwing sass

at us too and she was like awkward and you were like, ah, and pointed at Caitlin and I'm like, she's got hair. I thought it was because Caitlin had the dry shampoo in her hair this morning. Yeah, this morning I thought. And it was all flaky and you looked like a nana. Either she'd gone grey overnight or she hadn't rubbed her dry shampoo. Okay. I get ready at 4. Yeah, this morning I thought... And it was all flaky and you looked like a nana. Either she'd gone grey overnight or she hadn't rubbed in her dry shampoo.

I get ready at 4.30 in the morning. Sometimes I don't rub my dry shampoo in. I don't even know what dry shampoo is. It's when you don't have time to shampoo your hair and it's like a dry spray.

But what is it like deodorant for hair? Well, people used to put talcum powder in so I think it's pretty much just compressed talcum powder. It's obviously a lifesaver, though. Does it stop it being greasy?

Yeah. The powder soaks up the grease. But you have to rub it in because otherwise you end up with powder in your hair. It's like a petrol spill on the forecourt and you get out some of that kitty litter stuff. Yeah. Before you hear. Okay. So, first of all, apparently blow-drying or straightening your hair,

like, really sleek and straight can age you. But I like it straight because, like, when you have a, like, curly, because you know how, like, mums and stuff have, like, curly hair? Mm. This is a real sweeping generalisation. But, like, you know, like, big nana curls? Yeah. Like, I don't know, I like it straighter.

But you were saying it ages you or it ages your hair. No, it ages you. So this is like the effect it's having on your face and your appearance. Apparently, it's having your hair like dead straight can age your face because you're not giving it any body. You're not giving it any shape. Apparently. So it's just like a harsh border to the face.

Yeah, apparently. So it's just like a harsh border to the face. Yeah, yeah. Going too dark, like hiding, when it comes to like hiding any kind of greys, going like, going dark is bad, because then you're going to see it straight away when you get regrowth. Yeah. So they're saying go lighter, and then if there's any

like regrowth, then you're not going to see it. But also, going dark is quite harsh. A lot of guys do that, eh? Well, go dark. They go like jet black, and you're just like,growth, then you're not going to see it. But also going dark is quite harsh. But a lot of guys do that, eh? What, go dark? They go like jet black and you're just like, okay, we know you're dying, you're here. I honestly think it's better for guys to just like

let it go salt and pepper. Oh, me too. If I had hair, I'd go, yeah. You'd be a silver fox. You'd be Anderson Cooper, eh? Oh, I could only hope. Those baby blues teamed up with that, you know, cool grey. Because you look at photos of Mike McRoberts.

When did he stop dying his hair? Oh, three years ago, three or four years ago. And that's a direct correlation to the sex appeal. Yeah, that was when he... But when you look back at those photos of when he dyed it, you're like, oh, no, it doesn't look right. No. It doesn't look as good.

No, and then you just let it be. Yeah. It looks beautiful. This good. No, and then you just let it be. Yeah. It looks beautiful. This one. Do you need a moment? I'm good. Fringes. Now, Caitlin doesn't have a fringe anymore,

but apparently fringes are fine when you're a kid, but when you get older, fringes are not good anymore. Oh. They age you. But you've grown. Our hairdresser has spoken to us about fringes. Our good anymore oh they age you you've grown our hairdresser has spoken to us about fringes our hairdresser's had a chat to us about our fringes yeah and curtain fringes curtain is what we've both got at the moment yeah a little short side one so you can still like tuck

it back but you still have a bit of shape but a hardcore fringe unless you're like a kid generally doesn't look good on older people. Oh, my mum's so upset I don't have my bangs anymore. Why? I don't know, just because I've always had them. She's like, they just look so good on you. Oh. So, but no.

And do you use, like, shampoo from the supermarket or do you use fancy pants shampoo? From the supermarket. I've always wanted to use, like, whatever's on special at the supermarket. Yeah've always wanted to use like whatever's on special at the supermarket. Yeah. But apparently

when you get older it doesn't work anymore and your hair like needs a lot more help so you need to get like fancy salon shampoo. Oh right, so this article

brought to you by L'Oreal's new Yeah, exactly. Leave-in range they have poo-pooed dry shampoo. Yeah. Straightening it, darkening it

and the cheap shampoos yeah, right, and the last one is forgetting to soften so next time you go to the salon, they're saying add some like colour panels to the front of your face it gives you like it softens the look apparently

so like chunky one block colour, which is what we all do when we get dye from the supermarket. Yeah. You just like dye your hair one colour is not good when you get a little bit older. Okay. Need a bit of texture. Yeah, need a bit of texture.

Shading. It's so sassy when you go to the hairdresser and they're like, so who did your last colour? You're like, Oh, that's really bad place. A Garnier box. A box did in a sink and you should have seen the mess it made. A Garnier box. I boxed it in a sink and you should have seen the mess it made.

FEM. ZM. All right, we all know that property prices are out of control. There's a rental shortage. I've got a, I was just talking to a friend the other day at the weekend who's looking for

just a room in a flat and said it's crazy how expensive it is with people just room sharing. Like two beds in a room in a flat and said it's crazy how expensive it is with people just room sharing. Like two beds in a room. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know that. That's quite a thing.

Like, it's insane. So you have to sleep in a room with someone else like when you're a kid? Yeah, it's been going on for ages. Oh, and in the city apartments in Auckland, yeah, there's like,

there's apartments with no room. So what do they call those? Studio apartments. Studios, yeah. With three beds in the living area and no like couch or anything. It's literally just a place where it's best to sleep and not do anything else. Yeah, Wellington and Auckland is crazy. So, you know, if you had access to a whole bunch of homes, why have your own?

Okay. I'm leading towards a story that I read about yesterday. It is a former real estate agent, and I say former because what he's done is cost him his license to deal real estate. Yeah. He was caught sleeping and showering in one of the Mission Bay properties that Bailey's had for sale. Right. Yeah.

See, I was really shocked by this. I was like, that's a bit harsh. Lay him off. I was too because real estate agents do some really dodgy stuff and don't seem to get, you know, they might get the odd fine or a, what do you call it, a censure. Yeah. Censor.

But then you, I don't know, I'd want my home to feel lived in, you know, if I was living overseas and looking at the cell phone. The cheek of it though. You walk into a bathroom and, you know, it feels automatically like there's that light condensation of someone having had a shower in the last half an hour. And there's the spray of perfume. It gives it a real lived-in sense,

but apparently it's against the rules. PC madness. So what, was he just so busy and rushed off his feet that he needed a little nap and a shower? Apparently. Right. He I think he had a home and everything. I said before you wouldn't need to just bounce around but he had

a house but he was just having a sleep and got caught. I don't think you should lose your job over that. It's a bit naughty but. Oh I don't know. It's embarrassing but to be struck off is a over that. It's a bit naughty, but... Oh, I don't know. It's embarrassing, but... Yeah. To be struck off is a bit far.

He's also saying that the owner of the property had given him the keys and said you can sleep there, but then the owner of the property's like, I never said that. He had the keys because he was conducting open homes and stuff. Yeah, yeah, right. Right. Yeah.

So did he sleep overnight or did he have a nap? Like, was he technically living in it? Well, a lot of things. Because if you're sleeping overnight, you're living in it. Let's call it living light. Not full-blown living. Because there's one thing like if it's a sunny afternoon and you've done an open home and you lay down, how do we nap?

That's one thing. Well, if you've just been telling people about how beautiful the deck was and how it caught sun all afternoon, you'd be crazy not to just chill out and enjoy the end of the day. A couple of beers on the deck of the house you're selling. But if it's overnight, then you're... There's heaps of... You don't really know.

There's so many rules with being a real estate agent. Oh, yeah. Like, you're not even allowed to say to people, oh, your house isn't worth anything. I'll buy it off you for $10 and then sell it to somebody else for like a million. That seems crazy, Vaughan, that you can't do that. It does seem crazy. Doesn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, especially with all these old people looking to sell their houses at a quick buck to be made, you know. Yeah. Oh, well, guess we'll never know. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello, welcome to today's Top 6. A vegan food manufacturer thinks it's time for a rebrand after the name's become a little culty.

They don't want to put vegan on things because the name has negative implications to people. Yeah, because France has been the home of it. It's crazy. Butchers are being attacked. Store fronts are being smashed in. It's not the way to get people on your side. No, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Wow. Okay. But honey's an animal product. Oh, no, it is. Honey's an animal product and so are flies. So stick to vinegar. Okay. Apple cider vinegar? Yeah.

Good for you? Yeah. Something? So they're saying they want a rebrand. So I've got the top six ideas for a vegan rebrand. And I know I throw a bit of stick at the vegans, but it's only because I know they can handle it. Yeah.

No, that was a serious, you were waiting for the punchline. No, I was. I was waiting for a punchline. Yeah. And I kind of admire it because it must be hard to not eat bacon. Oh, my God. That's a bacon last time. But see, I agree that we do probably need to all eat a little less meat.

Mm-hmm. It helps the world, our planet, doesn't it? Yeah, and it's better for you to little less meat. Mm-hmm. It helps the world, our planet, doesn't it? Yeah, and it's better for you to eat less meat. And if you can do that, good on you. All power to you. Yeah. No judge at all. Good on you.

But I still like bacon. All power to you, but 100% judge. From these two. I'm not judging. Whatever. No, no, no. I used to. I used to be.

100% judge. But then whatever. 100% of the time. It's not affecting me. As long as I'm not having blood thrown in my face. I don't know if I could go out with a vegan. As soon as anyone is introduced to you and they say that they're vegan, or like when Caitlin's like, I'm going to try being vegan.

Oh, I know because I know they're going to be a pain to go out with. But no, judge. For example, Caitlin started seeing this guy. I'm like, it's awesome. He's a vegan. I'm like, oh, no. See, Judge. For example, Caitlin started seeing this guy. I'm like, that's awesome. He's a vegan. I'm like, oh, no. See, Judge. Because he's going to come to dinner and I'm going to be like, do you want some of this?

No, it's not your problem, though. I haven't told you, but the time I flopped this, I didn't know my friend's partner was a vegan. Yeah. And I was like, you've got to try this, Callie. And I cut her off a big bit of steak and sloshed it on her plate. No one told me. It wasn't like I knew she was vegan steak and sloshed it on her plate. No one told me. It wasn't like I knew she was vegan and I was doing it to wind her up.

No one told me. And he was like, You may as well have taken a dump on her plate. Yeah. Well, she like sectioned off her plate like she quarantined the zone. Put up a border of broccoli and said anything that's come close,

this is a quarantine zone. Okay. So the top six ideas for a vegan rebrand if we're not going to use the V word anymore. Okay. Number six. Yeah, we know about the sharp teeth being a meat-eaters thing club. Because, you know, that's one of the things they always hear. I'm here to eat meat.

That's why we've got the sharp teeth. The canines. Oh, yeah, right. It's one of the things they always hear. They don't need to be told anymore. Number five on the list for instead of using the V word, the no, we're not iron deficient, thanks for your concern association. You're a nightmare for that.

Yeah. Just want to make sure they're looking after themselves. Number four on the list of the top six ideas instead of using the V word, yeah, we've heard bacon's amazing society. Last, yesterday, Sade was making some burgers, double meat burgers, chicken and bacon. And I was outside mowing the lawns, and every time I mowed the lawns past the extractor fan in the kitchen,

I was like, like just the smell of cooking bacon coming out. I'd like linger. I'd be like... You wouldn't do that if you could smell a salad. I've never even smelled a salad. Even when you're making a salad, I'm like... Imagine a salad coming out of an extractor fan. No, you can't, can you?

Well, I'm already cutting the lawn, so I smell... I can smell a salad. I get salad on my hands and I'm eating the ketchup. Number three on the list of the top six ideas for a vegan rebrand, if we're not going to use the V word anymore, the yes, we know you like cheese group. Let's not forget they can't eat cheese. Cheese is my downfall.

Cheese is my crack. Yeah, I couldn't give that up. You tried that dairy-free cheese? No. No, what's that? It's just, I don't even know what it's made out of. What is it made of? Soy.

Everything's made out of soy. Oh, no, I don't want man to taste it. Or that parmesan. It's made out of, like, flavoured almond flour. It's not quite the same. Oh, I'm living it, right? That's how you met parmesan. The number two on the list of the top six ideas for a vegan rebrand,

if we're not going to use the V word, number two is the club of people, including, oh, where's it gone? Here we go. Ellen DeGeneres, Woody Harrelson, Harqueen Phoenix, am I saying that right? Joaquin Phoenix. Portia de Rossi, Olivia Wilde.

Also, Steve-O, Tobey Maguire. Albert Einstein was apparently a vegan. Jason Mraz! That makes sense. He's looked a bit sick. What about Liam Hemsworth? I thought it was the hat. Liam Hemsworth loves his steak.

I can't find him on the list. I think he might have been a temporary vegan. I can't see. Miley is not kissing that mouth. He eats burgers when he's away.

100% they are both vegans. That's actually a good question. To any vegans who are still listening who haven't been wildly offended by the chat thus far, if you're seeing someone who's not a vegan, what's the deal with kissing them after they've eaten non-vegan products? Or do you just not date non-vegans on principle and ethics? Yeah, maybe.

Interesting question. I don't know. And the number one idea for a vegan rebrand, if we're not going to use the V word anymore, is meat-based people on a plant-based diet for the meat-based animals. It's quite wordy. Yeah. Quite a mouthful of lettuce.

That's today's top six. FVM, the podcast. This beautiful love story Comes to you from Wellington So it's a Saturday night And a Wellingtonian man Wanted some KFC for dins So he went there And his card declined

Which is very upsetting And that is when This is just so poetic, a beautiful woman stepped up and paid for his KFC. Oh my gosh, he was a dame in distress. What do you call it? It's a damsel in distress. A dame?

A dude. A dude in distress. A dude in distress. And so she went up and paid for his meal. I don't know what kind of conversation they had, but he didn't even ask for her name. And then afterwards, he may have reflected upon what had happened and went, hang on, she was beautiful, she was

kind. And he went to Facebook, specifically Vic Deals, and was like to the beautiful girl who paid for my KFC tonight when my card declined. Thank you so much. I didn't get your name, but if it was you, please message me. I get paid next week and I'd love to take you out. So this went crazy on Sosh Me.

Okay, I see. What was his intentions restaurant-wise? I don't know. I think he was just putting the feelers out there at that point. Okay. So it went crazy on Vic Deals. Everyone's like, this is a better love story than Twilight. Let's find this woman.

Who is she? Any love story is a better love story than Twilight, let's be honest. Oh, that was beautiful. Was it? In hindsight, was it? Everyone's like, this is the dream woman. And that's when, after 24 hours, someone wrote, oh my God, that was me.

Let's get Maccas for brunch tomorrow morning. Wow, okay. I mean, she could have chosen a really nice place by the sounds of it. Yeah. But it may sound like it was all talk, but they actually went out for breakfast. The two of them decided to switch it up. They went to McDonald's.

He paid, in case you're wondering. He updated everyone on the Facebook page. He paid for breakfast and he decided to upgrade them to combos. He said, I got us both combos. I chose the hot chocolate. She chose an orange juice. I'd almost go for a sort of a breakfast box at that stage. Yeah, yeah.

And then he may have, it may have ended there because he said, someone asked, you know, like, are they going to see each other again? He said, unsure if we will. I was silly and referred to her as Hayley Joel Osment from the 2000 film Pay It Forward. Apparently calling girls a prepubescent boy doesn't go down well

but we'll see. That's hilarious. So, yeah. Something else happened. The intention was there because everybody can agree that's a pretty sweet film. They have made jokes about getting married at KFC, so who knows?

It may not be over just yet. Do we have photos of them? No. There's only... No, because everything's bleaked out, like their names and everything has been scribbled out to protect privacy. Right. Yeah, I know. I want to find out who these people are. And I definitely need an update on whether

there's going to be another day. And is it going to be Burger King? We've got to work our way through that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a beautiful love story. Very Kiwi though, you're right. Yeah. So Soundkeeper Gary, you might know,

this former soundkeeper for our Secret Sounds before Soundkeeper Annabelle. He works here. He is a beekeeper, a part-time amateur beekeeper, as well as being a soundkeeper for our Secret Sounds before soundkeeper Annabelle. He works here. He is a beekeeper, a part-time amateur beekeeper, as well as being a soundkeeper and working here at ZM. And he is currently on his honeymoon in America. Yeah.

His wife and him are road tripping pretty much to the width of America. Massive stand-down period between wedding and honeymoon. Yeah. So they're married on New Year's Eve and they're just going now. So I think they kind of like gave it that period to see, you know, oh, we're going to break up.

Yeah. Before we really put our marriage to the test and get stuck in a car with each other all the way across. Because they're literally in a car for like four weeks.

Yeah. Like it's a long time. I mean, they're obviously stopping along the way, but there's a lot of vast nothingness. They're purely eating their way through America, right? Because that was, he was a long time. I mean, they're obviously stopping along the way, but there's a lot of vast nothingness. They're purely eating their way through America, right?

Because he was on a diet. He wasn't allowed to eat too much or drink too much before he went so that he could then drink his way through. Well, that's amateur hour because your stomach's going to be untrained. You want to hit the ground running. You know he'll train it real quick. Well, well, post. They've just landed in America.

Okay. This is what the post says because I've been tagged in it. I was like, why is he tagging me in something? He must have seen

an e-bike because we always send each other e-bikes because I'm like, just pedal, Gary. Just bloody pedal. You're not fisting. Stop being lazy.

This is what his post says. My luggage got lost in transit. RIP your GPS tagged in me. Fletch. I shall replace in transit. RIP your GPS tagged in me, Fletch. I shall replace in brackets if we don't find it.

So here's the cheapest Walmart ensemble I could muster. For $7 he's dressed himself, head to toe. That's how great Walmart is. Like Kmart, the warehouse on steroids. Walmart. So yeah, still no word if he's got his luggage. He's arrived in the United States with Sam's luggage.

Oh no. And so because he's doing a road trip, because I've been to America a few times, I've done a bit of driving. Yeah. I have a GPS, even though I don't have a car. Yeah. It's cheaper than renting one if you just buy one.

And so I was like, oh, just here you go. And you know what's cheaper than buying one is getting given one for free like you did. So don't come in here, Mr. I didn't rent one because I bought one. You got given one for free. So here's the conundrum. That is the cheapest. Here's the conundrum. But to be fair, there are like $250 worth of maps on there that I paid for.

Oh, downloadable maps, correct. Although they might be in the cloud, maybe. I don't know. Anyway, so he's lost this GPS that I lent him, but it was free. Oh. Someone gave it to me. So you didn't tell me that because I was like, he needs to get you to get insurance money and then you get the person a new one.

No, he still needs to get insurance money. Yeah, no, no, no. But then like once you lose something of someone else's if you're travelling, you replace it with the insurance money, right? But you didn't tell me it was free. Are you going to tell Gary it was free? No. Also, how do I prove?

Because you know insurance want... They either want a receipt or they want the original packaging. It's in the original packaging. He's lost that as well. Oh, he's lost the packaging as well. So how are the insurance even going to believe it exists? Do you have a photo of you using it?

That's the weird thing when someone got stolen on a festival. They were like, do you have a photo of you using it? That's the weird thing when someone got stolen in a festival like, do you have a photo of you using it? I'm like, yes I always took photos of myself with this useless appliance. Because I look at this great time I'm having with my GPS Because I wondered that when I had to do a insurance claim once, like before

you go on holiday, are you meant to take a photo of your suitcase and everything in it? But then that to me looks dodgier That looks like you're just setting it up so you're going to accidentally lose stuff. Yeah. It sounds like they set you up so you can't get anything replaced

because no one has receipts or packaging or photos of it. No. You throw the packaging away and you just use it. Well, actually, my mum does. She's got a little scrapbook. Does she? What, does she keep her receipts? Oh, yeah, sure.

Well, she's my mum does. She's got a little scrapbook. Does she? What, does she keep her receipts? Oh, yeah, sure. She's always kept receipts, but she'll also keep, like, she'll cut the serial numbers. You know how boxes of things have serial numbers on them, like computers and stuff? She cuts them off and keeps them. That is cute. So if they get, but then weirdly, she puts that right beside the computer.

So if there was a house fire and the computer burnt down, so would the serial number box. Unless she ran in and fought the flames and was like She needs to scan those and get them on the cloud. Oh, get them on the cloud. Unless the cloud warehouse burns down. Well, then you're in big trouble. If the clouds catch fire, it's the end of the world.

But if she gets robbed, she's having the last laugh because she's got all the serial numbers. Unless they rob the scrapbook. They take that because it's in a neat little box. They're like, ha ha!, no insurance for you either. And insurance companies win. I'm more of a huge inconvenience than I am a robber. So what, do you...

He's got to replace it. Regardless of whether or not it was free. No, it was free. No, he's got to replace it. Did he ask to borrow it or did you offer it? I offered. I offered. He was going to use his phone.

I said, look, this is a great GPS. Oh, no. This is the other thing about GPS. It's redundant now because your phone does it all. No, but this has like for America has like multi-lane. It's really good. Multi-lane guidance and stuff. It's really good.

Have you used Google Maps? Yeah, but it's not as good. It's not as good. This one's really good. It was free. I didn't pay for it. Exactly. You can't do that.

We're moving on with technology, Dad, but if you want to keep using the fax to contact your mates, that's fine. And also, you might not have cell reception in some places as well. You can download maps now. If you plan out your route. Oh, your downloadable maps. Yep.

Before you go, you download the route. I don't know. The route. The route. I mean, maybe it is redundant. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't know. Also, it was free. I would just tell Gary to. I don't know. Also, it was free.

I would just tell Gary to give you the cash equivalent. No, it was free. I'm going to tell him it was free. I'm going to message him right now. Don't you message him. It was free. But the map, you paid for the map. I paid for the maps.

I paid for the maps. Yeah, but what am I going to download the maps to a non-existent GPS now? You don't need it. Use your phone. Oh my God, Megan. Is there a GPS app on your phone? Yes. When Fletch is driving into a new neighbourhood,

he's also got the dating app open on his phone like an Uber driver and he's just, like, changing his radius. So I actually see why he's got a GPS unit now. His phone's already been used for something. His phone's busy. Couple of new hits. You've never used dating apps. That's not how it works.

Isn't it? Well, kind of. Yeah. I've never used them, but I know enough about them. I've been beside you. Yeah, as you turn your phone over, I'll be like. I just keep this face down for no other reason whatsoever. Okay, moving on.

If you follow Kim Kardashian on Instagram, you may have seen a post about her latest makeup venture yesterday. But what caught everyone's eyes is that she was wearing a string thong, like a string, G-string. And it was showing up above her skirt. So first of all,

Oh my god, whale tail. Yeah, apparently that trend, because lots of 90s stuff is coming back. Bike shorts. And apparently exposing the G above your jeans or whatever. No. That was grim last time. I've been waiting for this.

I know you have been. You big S. Well, so apparently that trend originally came from Tom Ford when he was creative director of Gucci. He did a whole lot of fashion shows where the G-string was above. That's where it came from. Now, from that fashion show was the Gucci thong that she was wearing. So this thong is from the 90s.

She calls it vintage, but it is technically a secondhand Gucci thong. I mean, it's Gucci, but... Yuck. Wait, so she hasn't owned it since it's released. She's acquired it from somewhere. She's acquired it. So who knows who's worn it? It's a string thong.

So it's touched. Yeah. The Gucci has touched the Gucci. Yeah. There's a picture of the original G in the 1996 runway show. And now she owns it and wears it. Yeah. See, a lot of op shops won't do underwear, but some do.

Some do. And when I see an underwear rack in an op shop, and I know some people are struggling and stuff, and that's why people go to op shops, but you can- But Kmart. Kmart, the warehouse, you can buy cheap packs of undies. Cheap, cheap, cheap. As cheap as you could get them in an op shop.

Yeah, I've never understood it. I mean, you can't even return underwear for exchange or refund, can you? No, once you've tried it on at home. Because of hygiene. So why should you? It's like when you keep your undies on when you're trying on togs. Do you? You're supposed to. Yeah, you keep your undies on when you're trying on togs. Do you? You're supposed to.

Yeah, you're supposed to. Yeah, exactly. You should. You're so gross. I don't try on togs though. It's just a general rule. You know your size, right? I just have because of swimming.

I've tried some on. Oh, right. But do you know like doctors and everything have said, look, this is not hygienic. This can cause all kinds of infections. Even if you think you've washed them, there's bacteria on them. Oh, yuck.

You've got your own bacteria. One of those, what's that stuff you put into the washing? The canister mold. No. Your undies are white now. It kind of kills all the germs. Like a canister or a dead old do, and you add it to your laundry. Oh, should you do that?

If you've got sick in your family. If you get sick and stuff, yeah, you wash the sheets, whatever, just chuck some of that in. Oh, really? Yeah, it's kind of hair. I guess germ freaks love it. I just Googled to see what this looks like for show purposes, and I found it's literally string.

Yeah. And at the back, there's, like, a buckle. Like, look, Fletch. It's a Gucci buckle. Like, it's not even a G. I wouldn't even call it a G-string. Oh, it truly string. Yeah. And at the back, there's like a buckle. Like, look, Fletch. It's a Gucci buckle. Like, it's not even a G. I wouldn't even call it a G-string. I'd call it string. Two pieces of rope.

Yeah. Which really would be like you say, Megan, touching all the bits. Well, it is in that model. And the worst part about it, underneath it, it says, Kim Kardashian is a frequent vintage shopper, but is also known to have a lot of hand-me-downs from her mum. What if she's wearing her mum's old gruts? I'm not down for that, eh?

She's not poor. Like, she can afford new gruts. Even if it's Gucci, like, just, no. So we can, as a show, we can say no to secondhand undies. Yeah. What about borrowing friends' undies? Well, no, that's the same. Is it the same, Caitlin?

Yeah, this is Caitlin. Yes. Is it true you have worn PJ's underwear at times? Yes, because remember once I had a late night and then I was like, oops, I've got work. So I didn't have any clothes. That's right, you turned up wearing PJ's undies. And I was wearing all of PJ's clothes.

I heard them saying that she had to chuck out like 30 pairs of her undies when she moved to Australia because they were in such a grim state. Yeah. She does have grim undies. So you wore her grim undies? No, I chose some like nice-ish ones. Oh, I'm not down. Nah, nah.

I'm not okay with sharing undies. Oh, okay. You're on your own, mate. Where's mine? Did she wash them and then put them back in circulation after you'd worn them? Okay, we're sharing undies. That's not good. Oh, okay. You're on your own, mate. We're friends. Did she wash them and then put them back in circulation after you'd worn them? Yeah. Again, that's grim. Caitlin, we're all friends, but, like, I don't want to touch these two.

Oh, yeah, no, but yuck. I have nice undies. No. Would you wear your boyfriend's undies? Would you wear Mr. Tourboy's undies? Yeah. Okay. So it's just the same With me and PJ

Except that we're not lovers You're not lovers Soulmates Somebody just messaged in Saying their dad loves Buying 50 cent undies From the Salvation Army Oh come on

He calls them Dead man's undies That is so disgusting That's even worse Considering Do you think he gets off On the fact that another bloke's been wearing them? I don't know. Just putting it out there.

I don't know. Old guys are wearing undies to get off. It's generally lacy ones. He was up there in the background loving this chat. We're all quietly chatting because we're not sure if it's inappropriate or not. We're going to talk about Anya's dad next on the show. Unrelated topic. I don't know. We're going to chat to him because we're not sure if it's inappropriate or not. We're going to talk about Anya's dad next on the show. Unrelated topic. I don't know.

We're going to start unrelated. We could weave our way back to his undies habit. Well, he likes thrifty undies. He certainly does like saving money, doesn't he? In turn, Anya was telling us a pretty cute AF story about her dad, Dave. He runs a pretty tight ship when it comes to the household bills. Because you live at home with your boyfriend. Yes.

Yep. So we moved back in maybe about a year ago now. Okay. And recently he has started getting these emails about the power, like weekly updates. I get these. And he's a big fan of them. Who's this? Who's providing this?

Well, I'm with Meridian. That's Jeremy Wells. Yeah, Jeremy Wells. Are you, that's, yeah, Jeremy Wells because every time Are you with it because of Jeremy Wells? Well, yeah, because every time

I get my statement or this little power reminder, there's a cute little picture of Jeremy Wells. Yeah. And you're like, okay, I'll pay my bill. Yeah, I'll pay the bill.

Can Genesis just have that cute picture of Jeremy too? On our weekly updates? No, he's only Meridian, I believe. Or you can just download, like, from the Hauraki website.

Hauraki. Or just send, like, a cute picture to myself every week. I've had a cardboard cutout over there the other day. That's not going to last long, is it? No. No, it's gone. Who pinched that? I don't know.

Go on, Vaughn. Creepy. Vaughn, is Jeremy Wells in your boot? I'm just trying to play it cool. But totes for goats. Right. So he gets the weekly breakdown of how much power you use. Apparently this requires a smart meter.

I don't have this at my house. Yeah, it's pretty cute. He does like these little group emails. So he forwards it to presumably, and this I might be overstepping the mark here, pushing my parents onto other people's but I'm assuming your mum and dad share an email address.

They don't. They don't. Don't they? My mum and dad do. Number one. Yeah, same. I think they were considering a joint Facebook for a brief time, but they decided to go separate ways online.

So they both got a Facebook account too? Yep. Unreal. That's amazing. Modern day parents. It's good because dad can like miss world and Mum won't. Oh no, she'll see. Because she's only got like 10 friends on Facebook,

so she literally sees all of their activity on the timeline. So he sends an email to your mother, yourself, and does boyfriend Andy get his own? Boyfriend gets his own one as well. Wow, okay, so it's the flat email. Yeah, it's pretty cute. And he'll just send things like, great work guys, the polar bears will thank us if we've had a good week.

So is it Passag because if you use too much power, he's like, come on, use a bit less? I actually don't think it's Passag. I think it's more he kind of likes it and he likes to work out. Like, oh, Tuesday was a bit steep. But mind you, your mother was sick at home. So, you know, she would have been watching TV.

I was wondering if for him he gets investigated, like if there's a spike on Thursday, he's like, now I don't know what would have caused that spike. Yeah, exactly. It's like a wee game. G'day, flatties. Dave here. Dad to some. Well, just one at the moment unless you put a ring on it, Andy. Anyway, that's an email

for another time. What was everybody doing on Thursday? Yeah, it's pretty cute. Caused a spike in the power. I don't think we'll get it. And you also compete your last month of last year as well. Oh, really?

If you've been on for that long. So if you've been on and it does become a bit of a game, you're like, God, what a, oh, I've used the dryer too much. Man, you've really got to start sparking up the PlayStation and playing Fortnite again if this is your idea of a great game. Guys, I played a great game against 2017 Fletch. I beat him for power usage in August. That guy's a sucker, man.

I was freezing this month, but I won. FEMZM. We would like to know from you now on 0800.ZM or you can text 9696. If you've ever had to or chosen to pretend to be pregnant. For whatever reason. Sometimes it's easier. Sometimes you've had a big summer and someone's like,

oh my God, how far along are you? And you just like. You just agree with that. What do I look? Four months? Four months. So if you've ever had to lie about being pregnant, 0800.ZM, you can text 9696.

The reason we want to know is because producer Caitlin, your friend who you're giving name suppression to, that's not how that works, but okay. Witness protection. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Well, no, and so I'm not just saying, like,

that it's my friend and it's secretly me, because it didn't happen to me. It was my friend. I just hang out with people that, like... I like you. I definitely like me. So my friend went to go and get her nails done

because she was going away for the weekend and they were like she goes to her favourite place she's been there for like two years and they were all packed up so she was like oh please

like desperately like begging them and they were like huffing around like oh fine okay we'll get you in that's how I like to treat my loyal customers too

but they had to like move things around like they really went out of their way to get her in. So she's sitting down there and she's like oh my god I need to go to the toilet so bad

like she's like I'm going to pee my pants like she's got a really bad bladder. Right. She's like born. I do have a bad bladder. Do you have a bad bladder?

So she's sitting there and she's like moving around and coming to me and she's like I'm so sorry I have to go to the toilet and they're like ugh.

Because she's already like been squeezed in. You'd imagine they don't have a lot of time. Yeah, exactly. And so, and then she's like rushing off to go to the toilet. And then they're like looking at her as she stands up and she's like, it's just that I'm pregnant. And they're like, oh, okay, of course.

You know, like because people that are pregnant have bladder. Well, it's like pushing on their bladder, right? Yeah, right, of course. You know, like, because people that are pregnant have... Bladder. Well, it's like pushing on their bladder, right? Yeah. Right, right. So she... And in just general life, you make allowances to people who are growing another human inside them. Yeah.

So instantly, what are they like? Oh, it's all good. It's all good. Anything for you. And then they, like, you know, sit her down, give her a cup of tea, you know, make sure... And so she's sitting there pushing her stomach out to make herself

pregnant, making up all of this stuff, like how far along she is. Oh no. And just like, and they're just like, you know, comforting her and just being like, oh, this is amazing. Can't wait for you to see you next and how you look and stuff like that. And so she's like, now I can't ever go back there because what is she going to do? Like be that person that like, oh, I lost the baby.

Or you know, like, you know, because she's not pregnant and she can't. And is she going to go back in a month and like have to push it out even more? Oh no.

Or just not go for a few months. Bingo. And then she'll be like, where's the baby? So good to get back in here after having the baby. It's with the father. Yeah. She's just the father. Yeah.

She's just, and then forever more is going to lie about her child. And then it gets to five and then she's going to school now. Oh, I just started school. You can squeeze me. I've got to get Timmy off to school. Oh, wow. Give a note, it was done quickly now. I can't see a problem with a long play lie here.

So why have you ever had to pretend to be pregnant or lie about being pregnant? 0800 dials at M 9696. Give us a call or a text now. We want to know when you've chosen to lie about being pregnant, for whatever reason it is, anonymous caller, why was it?

So we were living in a flat with a tiny second bedroom and we wanted to move out. We were sick of it. Yeah. So we told the landlord that I was pregnant. He was like, yep, that's sweet. You know, you need a bigger room, you can move out. Yeah.

So we did. And then like a month later, I actually got pregnant. Oh! Phew. Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, chameleon. Anonymous six-year call. Zoe, when did you lie about being pregnant? It was quite late at night and the supermarket was about to shut. So we parked in the pregnancy car park.

Yeah. I put on a big, like, oversized jersey. And me and my boyfriend just walked on in. And the security guard's kind of looking at us up and down. And my boyfriend just goes, oh, she's just pregnant and got really bad cravings. And he let you in? Yeah. After it had shut?

Oh, brilliant. So we just kind of went in, grabbed the ice cream, paid for it, and went out. And it was just like, okay, I guess I'm pregnant now. Hey, that works. I'd use that if I could. Yeah. Sounds like you've got to get that ice cream every night. Zoe, thanks for your call.

Exactly. Bye. Some text messages in. Somebody said, anytime I want to get out of a guy hassling me to go out with him, I just say, look, I didn't want to have to say something, but I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. Great repellent. Great repellent.

Because they're just like, oh, I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. Yeah. Or it would really show their intentions, you know? Yeah, true. What's happening here? Is everything all right? My old waitressing apron made all the girls bumpy in the wrong places

and would always have customers congratulating us. Who would do that? It worked well for us either way, though, because if you said, I'm not actually pregnant, they'd feel so guilty they'd give you a good tip. But then they thought you were pregnant, they'd be like, working hard and pregnant, reward with tip. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Someone said, I was working as a district nurse in Australia, really needed to go number twos. Okay. Driving around as a district nurse, you do a lot of travelling. Yeah. So I called into a service station and they said, oh, no, you can't really use the toilet.

There's not a toilet to be used. And she said, passed out of the stomach. I'm pregnant. It's just really uncomfortable. The guy said, I'm going can't really use the toilet. There's not a toilet to be used. And she said, passed out of the stomach. I'm pregnant. It's just really uncomfortable. The guy said, I'm going to have to ask the manager. So the manager came out and had the whole story relayed to them. And they said, yeah, it's the only toilet is a staff toilet. But given your circumstance, we'll show you through.

Went through. Bombed it. Bombed it. It's the exact words they use. I didn't know bombed it was classy. But, okay, so they bombed it. Well, Megan said it. Bombed it. It's the exact words they use. I didn't know bombed it was classy, but okay. So they bombed it. Well, Megan said it. So it must be.

And then hurried past them on the way out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. See you later. See you later. True.

I had a phone in my pocket in an accounting exam at uni because I'd taken pictures of my notes, my lecture. So they're cheating. So my lecturer saw me ruffling through my pockets and said, empty them. And quickly thinking on the spot, I said, the reason I was ruffling through is I've got a positive pregnancy test in there. I literally found out just before I came in. She got super awkward, told me I could leave and didn't need to empty my pockets. I got a C.

Okay. That's all right. C's get degrees. Yep. I was sick of my job in Sydney. So I lied to the boss, who was a real prick, and said I'm pregnant, so I'm moving home. And you can't argue with that. And he let me out of my contract, moved home, and fell pregnant within the year.

So, again, a little bit of karma chameleon there. So, yeah, lots of people don't feel – I don't think Caitlin's friend needs to feel too bad about it. Somebody said she doesn't have a nail salon to go to now for the next nine months. Yeah. I had my belly rubbed at an event by a woman who didn't even know me in front of all my friends and she asked me how far along I was.

Opening line. How far along are you? Oh, no, I'm just mad. I said, I popped it out a little bit more and said, not long to go now. Probably didn't help that I had a champagne in my hand at the event, though. Oh, wow. Okay.

So yesterday I had a moment of instant regret. And this doesn't happen for me. No. Because, you know, I make calculated great life decisions all the time. Even when you just don't. You just deal with it. You're just like, okay, that's life. So I live in central Auckland, like downtown.

And before that, I've lived in like near K Road. So I've seen some things in the city in my time. Do you remember the transsexual who was stealing meat packs from the supermarket and then ran away in high heels? That's right. You see things. You do, you see things. And the other guy on the way to work, remember I told you about that guy

who was fake walking down the road hunting with a rifle? That's right. But he didn't have a rifle. That was an owner of Philly Squad call out in the end, wasn't it? Yes. You see some things

because I walk to work, you know, through the city. Yeah. But this didn't even happen at one of those twilight weird hours. This was yesterday when I went to the supermarket after the gym.

Okay. So what are we talking, mid-afternoon? Yeah, mid-afternoon. Just walked around the corner and I was on my phone and I look up and I see

a man who was smaller than me hassling a girl and like was going like trying to almost like grab her or hassle her. Were they known to each other, do you think?

No, definitely not. He was a stranger. Because I'd seen her walking ahead of me. She was, I think, going to the supermarket as well. Right. And so, and he was, and I didn't know what was good because I just looked up from my phone and I was like, and so I was in the moment, I was like, oi, hey.

Oh, good oi. And I was like, that was real, that was real. I was like, hey. And then he turns around and instantly I just see this man's face and I'm like, I regret like all of a sudden from being like the tough guy to like, oh, my God, what have I done? And just this guy turns around and he has this maniacal, drug kind of looking, methed out look on his face.

And he's just like. Really? Oh, God. And I'm just like, oh, my god, what have I done? And then so she like just walks around him and walks away. Well you saved her. And then he's looking at me and I'm like oh now I'm gonna be like

attacked or something but I mean I was bigger than him and he was obviously like away with the fairies. Yeah but meth adds a hundred pounds and two foot. Yeah but then I looked around and there was this big guy getting out of a, the car had stopped and he was holding like eggs and some meat. And he'd obviously just been in the backseat.

And I think he was about to step in before I said something to the guy. But I was just like instantly just like. You hid behind him. I just went like, hey, you take this. I'm going to just run away now. Because that's as tough as I get. Like, I'm not going to fight anyone. Yeah, I'm good for an oi, but that's it at all.

Yeah, that's even happened to me. But sometimes that's all you need. You need an oi. You just need an oi. Yeah. I don't know what he was trying to do. It was bizarre. The whole thing was bizarre. And she boosted off.

And she boosted off. And then he just kind of started hassling other people. And I just walked away. I was like, well, that's... I've saved one of you. The rest of you... This is all I can do. I've got things to do. I mean, I don't know how Batman finds the time. Oh, does

he find the time? Amongst what would be a very busy schedule. CEO of Wayne Enterprises. Work ready for the next day. Yeah. Shopping. Eat. And where does he fit in all his training? Exactly. Because he's ripped. And I mean, there's on-the-job training,

but there's not that specific martial arts training. But I just, I instantly, as soon as I said it, when he turned around, I was like, oh God, this is how I die. Like knifed by a meth fiend. That was like real caring for another person though, for a split second. It was brave of you. You're like, hey, you cared about her.

I'm proud of you. You're like, hey, you cared about her. I'm proud of you. Thanks. Did you look? My immediate reaction is to look for somebody to hide behind or somebody to whack with. No, I didn't have any of that. When someone looks at me and I'm scared, I'm like, what can I use as a weapon here?

There was literally nothing around here. Right. Wow. You saved someone. Hero. I wish I'd. I don't throw around the H word too much, but you are a someone. Hero. I wish I'd... I don't throw around the H word too much, but you are a hero. Okay.

Until he comes towards you and you scream. Oh, yeah, no, no. Ah, go with eggs and meat. Help, help. Throw your eggs and meat at him. He was real big. I like when there's one of those people on your side. Yeah.

Always feels good when you're not... It's like you can deal with that. ...heading in the same direction as you. Well, next, I actually want to talk about an experience I had. Something was surprised upon me. Did you save someone's life, though? Someone surprised me. What?

Did you save someone's life? No. Just upgraded my story there. I went to get a prescription yesterday, pick up a prescription. Now, I know we've spoken about this before. It cost me $37. Is this to get the pill? Yeah, I rung up and pre, yeah, I rung up in pre,

like whatever, ordered it or whatever you do. And then you go to pick it up and they charge you like $37. I thought you said yours was like $20. Yeah, it's gone up. Just to get the pill. And I didn't like feel like I could argue. So they just give me like a piece of paper and stuff. Well, your baby's got to slay more.

Have a year everlasting suction of money for the rest of your life, isn't it? Times however many. Or a ray of sunshine that can turn a bad day into the best day you've had all year. But, you know, totally the money thing. Another way of looking at it. Two sides to that story. You guys won't know about this,

but sometimes, like every time you go to pick up the pill, you're like, is today going to be the day?, you're like, is today going to be the day? What do you mean, is today going to be the day? Am I missing out on excitement as a man? It's not excitement. Because that's not fair. It's not excitement. You get something sprung on you.

It's like, are we surprised? So I went in and asked for it. And there was a note written on the prescription. I was like, oh, today's the day. And she said, so the nurse just wants to see you. I'm like, what? Why? No, because you're on the pill.

It can affect your body in certain ways. They've got to make sure that you're okay, like constantly check up on you. So she said, yeah, the nurse just wants to do your blood pressure and weigh you. I was like, no, we don't. No. We don't, no. We don't surprise weigh around here. Oh, the way you were,

I thought it was going to be like bloods or some big urine. Something serious. Yeah, we need you to poo in this little ice cream container. Um, hello. That was a surprise weighing. So I like, I had to sit there and I was like, oh my God,

I had a big weekend. Wait, you got the person No, every two weeks. or the weighing. Every two weeks and I know when it's going to happen. So like, oh my God, I had a big weekend. But you got the person to train all the way. No, every two weeks. Every two weeks and I know when it's going to happen. So like, and I'd just been away for the weekend and there was wine drunk and all sorts and I was like, am I going to tell her that?

So anyway, I went in there and she comes along. She's like, so I'll just get you to jump on the scales. And I was like, do I take my shoes off? What about my jacket? She said, no, no, no, keep your shoes on unless you've got lead weights in the bottoms of them. I was like, no, I never, no, no, no. I even take my bracelets off.

Because that's a gram. It's so funny seeing people weigh themselves at the gym in the changing rooms. It's like people take off literally everything. I take the scales. Ours are a little portable. I take them into the bathroom, get turtley nerd, do a wee. Shake all the excess.

Then weigh. Yeah. You can do it by yourself. You feel better. into the bathroom, get turtley nude, do a wee, shake all the exes, then wee. Yeah. Just be yourself. Don't you feel better? Like, you need to know that it's your, like. Put your best foot forward. Yeah. And that's the other thing I do. I put one foot on and then, like, give myself a little bit of push off the other side.

Right. Just to make yourself a bit lighter. Oh, 15 kg is great. So, yeah, she, I wasn't allowed to take anything off. I had my jacket on and my shoes. And then she, because she goes and checks my last thing, and she's like, does that seem normal to you? And I was like, no.

I was like, but I am wearing my shoes and my jacket. So she went and checked last weight, like last weight, and she's like, oh, yeah, you put on a little bit. I was like, this is a surprise weighing. I do not need your judgment. Did you have your shoes on last time? No, because I said to the nurse, I'm going to take everything off. But how much do shoes weigh?

How much do you try to get out of here? But also last time it was like right before my wedding. So I was like, this is unfair judgment. Then she says to me, oh, because you got asked me, you're eligible for a free flu jab. I was like, oh, no, no. No surprise jabs either, thank you. I've already had it. Surprise way, surprise jab.

She's like, it's not on your file. Are you sure? I was like, I've definitely had the jab. You get that away from me. You had it at work. Yeah. Remember? No, you didn't. You were sick. Oh! No, I had the jab. Remember she had the cold when Linda came in? Remember she had a cold and she couldn't get it done? Or did she come back? Oh, no, I had the jab. No, remember she had the cold when Linda came in.

Remember she had a cold and she couldn't get it done? I had it afterwards. Or did she come back? Oh, no, because she came back and did the whole company. Yeah, Linda came back the next day and Megan got it done. Yeah, see? Shut up. Someone's got a surprise Wade and a surprise jab.

I think you're trying to sneak your anti-vaxxer agenda in. I've been surprised, Wade, though. You know when you do like bungee jumping or you go on a helicopter or I got it once to go on a light plane because they have to like

work out all the weights Jesus no I'm not going on a plane that requires you to be Wade if my blowout over summer is enough to make a plane crash that's not a plane

I want to be on in the first place that's not a plane that's in the news for a happy landing no no dice sorry Sue you can't go to Great Barrier Island do you know what been on the first place. That's not a plane that's in the news for a happy landing. No. No dice.

Sorry, Sue, you can't go to Great Barrier Island. Do you know what? I bet it's not that great anyway. I'm not getting on a plane that requires me to be weighed. No. And when they're right on your hand at the bungee jump and it's in red pen, it's like, use a green pen. It makes me feel like I'm going to collapse a bridge.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is that the Olympic medals for the 2020 Games in Japan are going to be made from old cell phones and electronics. Huh. Huh. Recy electronics. Huh. Hmm. Recycling. Correct. Japan are asking all citizens to donate their old phones,

their old computers. There's like this list of, on a Japanese government website, you can go and type in what you've got and if it's any use to them or not. Because all of our phones, computers, everything that's kind of electronic may hold materials that can be used to make the metals, the gold, the silver, the bronze. Is there gold in our phones? Yes, there's gold in the phones.

How much? Like a minute amount? A minute amount. But it is estimated that 16% of the world's gold is currently in Japanese technology. That's just in Japan. And 22% of the planet's silver is sitting inside tech all over Japan, some of it being used, some of it not being used. Because the metals aren't actually made out of, are they coated?

They're mixed. Right. So the reason they need heaps and heaps of silver is because the gold metals are mostly made of silver with some gold. Right. The silver medals are silver and copper is added to the bronze medals

to make the medals at the Olympics. So at the London Olympics, 9.6 kgs of gold was used. Oh yeah. 1,210 kgs of silver was used. Wow. And 700 kgs of copper was used in the bronze metal making. Yeah, right.

So that's pretty crazy. And considering in 2014, Japan discarded, this is by estimations and calculating how many phones and stuff were thrown away, 143 kilograms of gold. This is just in one year. 1,500 kgs of silver and 1,100 tons of copper through electronics. Wow.

We could probably get a ute and go strip some copper fine lines in some rural roads at the weekend and send it over. and some pipes on houses being built. Because you hear of people

nicking that stuff because it's worth a bit of money, isn't it? Yeah. My brother-in-law, when they renovated their house, no one was in it because it was all just getting sorted. And they came back one week and the builders were like, nothing's working. None of the taps are working. And the people had gone under the house and just cut the pipes at either end and just dragged the pipes out.

But yeah, flaming mongrels. Crazy. But have you ever been to a scrap metal dealer? No. I had to take a whole lot of roofing iron there once. They wanted a signature, a copy of my driver's license,

a photo with me and the vehicle that dropped off the... Oh yeah. So I was like, how are you trading in stolen metal? I mean,

obviously there's ways around it, but these guys were very like down the line. They wanted proof. They were like, where did this come from? I had to write where I got it. It was like an ACC form.

You know, I was like, how do you sustain this entry? It was like, where did you acquire this and what is it? And wow. Yeah. So I don't know. But you melt it down. You're like, I found this weird brick. It came from outer space and landed in my lawn.

Yeah. I mean, you can still see the kind of the stamp print of whoever made the pipe that I melted down with it. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the Japanese Olympic medals in 2020, two years away

till the next Olympics, are going to be made from recycled technology. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Scotland has become the first nation in the world, excuse me, to guarantee free sanitary products to students at all school levels.

That's the school, colleges, universities, which is pretty awesome, I reckon. That's so awesome. Five million pound government plan to fight period poverty. There was a survey done. One in five Scottish women had trouble affording

sanitary products. Yeah. And so Scotland are like, well, I mean, we don't ask people to provide their own toilet paper. Yeah, true.

Which I've never thought about it in the same way, but it is, right? It's very similar. Both are sanitary products. Yeah. You never thought about it in the same way but it is, right? It's very similar. Both are sanitary products. Yeah. You never go to work and the boss would be like,

bring your own bog roll tomorrow. I don't pay for that anymore. True. You poop here, you wipe your bum and you pay for it. Is our boss

listening to this? I think this is like a really great idea. That comparison's changed. I've been all for it. Take the taxes off them and everything for a start, but eventually work towards them being free. That's a great idea.

But that is a good thing that workplaces could implement like little vending machines in there. Yeah. Just pop them up. Have them in there. So, yeah, Scotland's doing it. I've just read the article. I was like, bloody good on Scotland getting in there and giving that a go.

And then I thought we could open up the phones and have a chat. Let's – because this is going to be the problem now. You say something like this. Someone's like, who's paying for it? Don't worry about that. Who's paying for it? Let's not worry about that for this chat. No, let's imagine we're living in a world where

stuff's free and it doesn't matter. What? What are you doing? I'm thinking. Oh, you screwed up your nose. I thought you were going to sneeze and be sick. Your thinking face needs work. It will scare children. I was thinking of my troubles where I've been. I'm like, we need that. Yeah. You've travelled extensively.

Is there anything you've seen in other countries that you thought that would be good? Back home. In New Zealand. Anything. Anything. Absolutely anything. To make this country better.

The public transport. Anywhere. From anywhere overseas. Anywhere to anywhere. Yeah, that's true. But it doesn't have to be serious. No, no, no. No.

Okay, well, I've got one. What? When I was in Colombia in June, there was a mall at a transport station. There was a mall at the transport station? It was like a transport station mall. But what was it first? Was it a bus stop that had a mall? Or was it a mall and they were like, that works because the people are there, we'll put a bus stop.

I think it was a bus stop first. Yeah, that's encouraging people to take public transport. Exactly. So, you know, you can imagine food court, lots of shops. But from the ground floor to the first floor, it was quite a big floor. From there, down to the ground floor, they had

a slide. Great idea. Shut up. That's my one. Let's get more slides instead of escalators. Yes. You're welcome. That would be great. Were people being silly or did they line up to take turns? No, people just every day. Escalators. Yes. You're welcome. That would be great. More slides.

Were people being silly or did they line up to take turns? No, people just... It wasn't very busy when I was here, so I didn't see anyone on it. You didn't go on it? Yeah, of course I did. I'd like... And there was... What's that makeup store?

Sephora. Sephora. They had one overseas in Europe. They had a slide from the ground into the shop. Yeah. What were you doing at Sephora? No, I was... You saw the slides, so you went in.

I was with a friend of the show, Maddie McLean. Were you finally getting some eyebrow stuff? No. But we were just like, oh, let's go down the slide because it's a slide. And then we were in Sephora, and we're like, okay, let's get out of here. After we get some eyeliner.

No. Get on, a bit of shadow. But I'm a fan of the slides. That could be a good thing. Add that to the eyeliner. No. Get on, a bit of shadow. But I'm a fan of the slides. That could be a good thing. Add that to the list. Right, okay. I like, is it Spain? Have they ever snooze?

Everybody's like it's universally agreed upon siesta. Yeah. That's a great idea. They're trying to get rid of that though. Apparently it's bad for productivity. Yeah, it is. Because you know like, as people who wake up incredibly early,

sometimes when we go home, I've got to really think long and hard about if a nap's a good idea because it can make you or break you on a midday nap. And I'd imagine

50% of the time the Spanish wake up and they're like, just go back to sleep. Yeah, have a sangria. Yeah. I might just chill out in the warmth

and not go back to work. Okay, so 0800-DALES-ATM 9696. You want to hear from people with their ideas of what they think we should bring from overseas. What can we do here that's done somewhere overseas? Cost is not something that you have to concern yourself with.

It's brainstorm. And there's no bad ideas in a brainstorm. Except bad ideas. Except bad ideas. Generally, the idea that was said just before someone says there's no bad ideas in brainstorm because that was bad enough that they were like, I better remind everybody that there's no such. Except bad ideas. Except bad ideas. Generally the idea that was said just before someone says there's no bad ideas and brainstorm, because that was bad enough that they were like, I better remind everybody that there's no such thing as bad ideas,

but that was a really bad idea. We're talking about if you could borrow an idea from any country in the world, what would you borrow? And I love this text message that's come in, and I've thought the same. When I was in Italy, if you order a drink, you just get complimentary snacks. Or when you sit down at a table at a restaurant, they just put something in front of you to eat. It's not little either.

Like you get, I got a bowl of olives, a bowl of like crisps, like chips, and little toasted sandwiches. So it's not just like nuts. And you didn't have to pay for those. No, no, those just come with the afternoon drinks. They'd be doing themselves out of an entree. That's the way that Kiwis think, though.

No. If you feed them too much, they won't eat their bloody entree. No, but they stay there for drinks to get through the snacks. Somebody else said we need to take McDonald's. New Zealand needs to take a leaf out of Indian McDonald's. The menu is lit. McDonald's is awesome. I think it's McDonald's in India that

have just broken away from McDonald's. Really? What's a Big Mac over there? They use the golden arches and everything, but I think they were in breach of international McDonald's convention. And McDonald's is like, hey, pull it into line. And they're like, you can't stop us. We're rebels

of the cause. We'll do what we want. They're like, you into line. And they're like, you can't stop us. We're rebels of the cause. We'll do what we want. They're like, you're out. And they're like, fine. Screw you. But they're still trading under the name McDonald's. I really need to know. I really want to know more now. I'm looking up mcdonaldsindia.com and it's got the menu.

Oh, what's on the menu? They have like a McSpicy chicken, a big spicy chicken wrap, McSpicy paneer. And it would be hella spicy. They've got a veggie pizza McPuff. Is that like one of those poppadoms? It's like a samosa, but it's got pizza stuff in the middle. That's good stuff. See, they've gone rogue.

They've gone totally rogue. Here's another thing, because I know you're not a big fast food person, Vaughan, but you know when you go to put your rubbish in the bin at any fast food restaurant? Because this reminded me, McDonald's in Germany, and I don't know if it's everywhere else in Europe, but they

have a special holder for your cups. At the bins? Yeah, so you don't pour your cup in, because you know how you only ever drink half of it? Yeah. Yeah, they've got like special ones for your cups. So you put your cup in there and it stops it leaking. Yeah. That's just good thinking.

Somebody said, I think we need to implement those cute old ladies in the bathrooms with perfect makeup, sanitary items and hand towels. Well, this is Joe. You've seen this in,

where was it? Poland. In Poland, yeah. Right. Scared me. It happened to me in Thailand. A guy just put his hand on my shoulder

and he was like, hello, sir. And I was like, hello. But do they want a tip though, Jo? I think I didn't understand because I couldn't speak Polish.

Yep. So I was a little bit drunk. So I was just trying to shake her hand and say thank you. I don't know what she, like. So she put her hand out She put her hand out for money.

Jo's like, yes, it was lovely to meet you too. Pleasant Kiwi. If you're ever in New Zealand, look me up. Just ask for Jo. Because they have bathroom attendants in America in some, like, nice bars. And, yeah, it's the same thing. You have to give them tips.

They want to, yeah, you just say, oh, wash my own hands, thanks. Yeah, no, no, I'll just dry my own hands. Don't spray me with that stuff if it's going to cost you anything. Thanks, you're cool. Jo, Sonia, what should we have here in New Zealand that's happening overseas? I think that they should ban housework on Sundays like they do in Switzerland.

They do that in Switzerland? For real? Yeah. Yeah, for real. Like it's a law or it's just something that people... It's a law. I lived there for three years. Yeah.

And on a Sunday, I washed my car and cleaned my house. And on the Monday morning, I had a note on my car, written in Swiss, which I couldn't read. So I took it to my friend. Yeah. And it said, I had noticed you cleaning your car and cleaning your house on a Sunday. It is illegal.

If I see you do it again, I will have to report you to the police. Thank you very much and have a nice day. Well, is it just so that you're forced to be lazy or forced to spend time? No, you're forced to hang out with your family. Oh, that sounds horrible. Awful. Sometimes you've got to drown out your family with a good vacuum.

Exactly. Hey, Sonia, thanks for your call. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. Hey, Sonia, thanks for your call.