ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - August 31 2018

Episode Date: August 30, 2018

Vaughan got caught talking to himself in the toilet, Friday Flashback and did you date a mummy's boy?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, thanks to Spark. You can stay connected with free Wi-Fi, a gig a day, on the $19 Spark prepaid rollover pack. Enjoy. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Know your best one, I kick it back. Thanks, Anya. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

A couple of things from the news to touch on. Yeah. Well, there's the fog at Auckland Airport. Caitlin, you'll remember, was giving me a ride to the airport. Well, I thought the jury was still touch on. Yeah. Well, there's the fog at Auckland Airport. Caitlin, you'll remember, was giving me a ride to the airport. Well, I thought the jury was still out on that one. It depends how he is today. Ooh, he's on behaviour.

He's on hoarding. I'll decide at 10 after the show. Okay, but there is a chance that if I'm well behaved, I'll get it for free. I'll get a free ride to the airport. Oh, I thought you were still going to pay. It's whether or not I still take you or you take the shuttle.

You need a star chart for today's show. This is ongoing, but I'm always the cutest and most well behaved. And that's a lie. That's one strike against his name for lying, because he's on watch. He's on warning and he just told a lie. Also, the other thing that you touched

on in the news, Anya, people waiting a week with an STI to seek medical treatment. Like, who's got a blistering, festering, oozy, blistering, festering? Or an itchy or a sore? Not that I know. Who's waiting a week? Yeah. Why?

But it's embarrassing, right? Can you read the first story that you had? Yes. You got that handy? Egg producers say significant steps have been made to stamp out egg mislabelling. It's chickens, right? Chickens are egg producers.

Yeah. I just like to imagine, like, a mating of chickens. I'm going to stamp out this mislabelling. Me? Oh, I couldn't agree more. Oh, my God. Here comes another one. Don't mislabel it.

But yeah, that guy. How many eggs did he sell saying they were free range but they were full blown kgs? That's the thing you're at the supermarket. You don't know, do you? I know, but that's the thing

you want to be able to trust what you're buying. Imagine any other food just wildly mislabeled. Yeah. It would be like, yeah, gluten-free. Sure. Knock yourself out there, champ. And then you eat it. Whoa, gluten.

I don't know what happens when you eat gluten. I don't exactly. Is it even a thing? No. Oh, I didn't say that. Neither. Celiac is 100% an No. Oh, I didn't say that. Neither. Celiac is 100% an illness. Oh, yeah, it is.

It was like, yeah, the spread. It's got no nuts in it. Go away. We know what happens there, though. Yeah, exactly. It's just weird that they can get away with it. Yeah. All right, top six is coming up.

Yeah, today's top six is the top six other things crims can get stuck into. Okay. Because Shane Jones is saying crims should be planting trees. We've, as a country said, we're going to plant something like a billion trees. Yeah. Seems crazy. Yeah. That seems a lot.

I don't know who's growing them all. Seems like a lot of trees. Right. And he wants criminals to be the government. What the hell are they doing? Right. Get them on the arse end of a spade and some... Oh, fair enough.

Some of that slow-release crystal fertilizer jelly stuff. You know, you dig a hole, you chuck that in there. We're assigning them a lot, though, because we're taking away animal testing from them this week, and we're going to... Remember? We're going to do it on them instead. We're going to do it on the...

No, but that's criminals on death row. Oh, okay. Death row criminals can't go out planting trees. I see. No, you only have the light criminals planting trees. Yeah, light fraud. Like fraudsters. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not murderers. That time they did some hard physical labour. Yeah. Not murderers. No. Nah. All right, you lot. Listen up.

It's story time. Three news headlines. Born and Megan pick one headline from the following three. Headline one, woman has trouble creating new account. Headline two, shelter changes its unfortunate name. And headline three, man fakes heart attack for free hospital food. Hotline. Hotline from him, sure.

Medically, I would have picked something harder to disprove because can't they strap a thing on you and work out if you've had a heart attack? Maybe, yeah. Yeah, like an ECG. ECG? Yeah. Go for just like a mysterious gut pain

or a pain in the abdominal region. Or they just say go to the hospital. Yeah. I mean, go to the hospital. Yeah. I mean, go to the doctor for a gut pain. Yeah. Play it up with him. He gets you sent to the, him or her. Right.

And they get you sent to the doctor and into the hospital and then it's woo-la. See, that sounds like a lot of waiting room. But have you been in a public hospital lately? Not worth faking admission for food. Not worth it at all. No. I liked the sound of one.

Yeah, woman has trouble. I forgot two. Shelter changes its unfortunate name. I'm for one. Okay, you don't want the shelter. All right. Well, should we? No, that's fine.

You do whatever. All great stories today. Okay. A woman has been blocked from creating social media accounts after it was deemed her name was too offensive. Natalie Weiner attempted to create a social media account when she put her last name into the correct field, the last name field,

and it said offensive language discovered in the last name field. Because her name is Weiner. Yeah, Natalie Weiner. I would have thought you would have changed that. By the last couple of generations probably would have changed it. Yeah, but it's your family name though, isn't it? Yeah, still changed. Yes, it means something.

Even though it means something to them. Yeah. Change it. Still change it. It's Weiner. It might mean one thing to them, but the rest of the world just thinks of a doodle. Yeah, true. Well, speaking to media, she said,

this is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. Because, right, so it's offensive. Yeah, well, she tweeted about it initially. It's got 60,000 likes, more than 11,000 shares. And, yeah, media have picked it up. So has she allowed it now? Or, like, what's the end result? I don't, on that particular account, they just won't let her.

Oh, right. I actually saw that on one of these Mimi pages that I follow on Facebook. Right. And when she put it out there, she had lots of replies. Have you got any replies? To the people who replied to her? No. So Ben Schmuck replied, saying this happens to me all the time.

Schmuck. Kyle Medick said I get this a lot surprisingly. How's that spelled? M-I. M-E. Yeah, Dick. But one word. Right.

Medic. Like medic. Yeah, but with a K on the end. Okay. Also Jen Dick said I've had the same thing happen to me when I tried to RSVP to a webinar. James Butts said I know these problems. Mike Dickman said, as a dickman, I know that the struggle is real. Could you imagine the teasing you'd get at school if your last name was Dickman?

Yeah, because it's easy. It's entry-level teasing. Yeah, it is. No thought required. Even like the real dumb kid could have got in on you. Yeah. Another person that replied was Philip Sprawn, which when it looks written down looks like Philip's porn.

When I got my computer, I had to set my last name as Sprawn because Sprawn contains offensive language because it's got porn in it. Matt Cummings has been there. My sister's last name's Cummings. That's right, it is too. She married into the Cummings. I think she got into it at a good age though

because she was like 30. Post-teasing. So post-teasing. Cummings is fine. Cummings is quite common. Yeah. It's had the S off it so it's a little bit different.

Karina Gross said, my sister and I get this all the time. It said, nice try, your name must be G-rated. And it's gross. And that's a bad word. Yeah.

And Matt Dickinson says, I've had this before, surprisingly. Dickinson, very popular name. Yeah, common. Lots of, but it's just got the D-I-C in it, doesn't it? And, of course, it brings us back to the legendary, this was around a little while ago, but Megan Finger, when she went to university, the way you got your university identification

was to take your last name, then after your last name, put the first two letters of your first name. That's good. Her first name again The lab I get it now Finger me Yeah alright I get it now

Aaron Dixit Who's of Indian descent He said that I get this on the daily What is Brian Wankham says Of Indian descent. He said that I get this on the daily. Oh, yeah. What is... Brian Wankham says... For me, when I'm on phone calls, I just hear the mute button click on and then they come back sounding like

I've just finished laughing. That would be the worst because people would think that you were trying to prank them. Paul Gay says, I was just trying to get health insurance and it said you have entered a profanity, a not allowed word in the surname. Gay's another one of those names that you hear enough. That can be a first name as well. Yeah. Angela Spampata said the word spam is literally in my last name.

Yeah. Everything we sign up for. Clark Aycock says, at one of my jobs, the IT had to create a rule on the email server to stop my emails from being rejected as porn spam when I tried to email people about things to do with work. Richard.

Can you say it? Do not. I can't say it. Okay. I can't say it. Okay. I can't say it. What does it start with? I don't even know how to start it. Show me.

Just say the letter. Just say the letter. No, because you probably can't. Why? I'm imagining it's a C or a K. That's not a real name. He's got it on his profile. You'd say Sue.

You'd say it like that, but please don't say that, Vaughn. If you said it with super soft Cs, you'd say Sue on sock. But somebody said, is it a hard C? And Steve, Sue on sock said, yeah, really hard C. Hold on, mute. Take the mics for a minute. On socks. Yeah, really hard. See? Hold on. Take the mic for a minute. Take my mic off for a minute. Whoa!

I know. Whoa! No, that's not a family name. That's not a family name. Thank God you didn't say that on the radio. I know. Especially after we just had a class yesterday on broadcasting standards and media training.

Blah, blah, blah. What? Vaughn. Oh, yeah, I walked out of that going, God, this could have been an email. And then literally just probably tested one of them. But that's good.

What? What? What's coming up? No, we just need to wrap it up. Oh, you just need to wrap it up. I thought we were still talking about the Steve Simmons. Great news next.

Oh, this is great news. Hello, dear. Means anything to you. Hello, dear. Hello, dear. This is a really cute story for you, Friday. Starts off harrowing, but there's a good ending, okay? Okay.

His name is Shane and he has a dog named Harley and they're inseparable. And Shane likes to sail. So he went on a big sailing trip with his dog, Harley. Now, he is a very well-equipped sailor. He knows what he's doing. But the two of them encountered a storm. Now, usually he straps Harley in. This is the lotto ad.

It is the lotto ad, yeah. With Wilson. It is. And he fell off. But instead this is Harley. Harley fell off, did he? Harley got tossed off the boat. Didn't jump in overboard after a lotto ticket, did he? No. And like Shane looked

everywhere for Harley but it was a storm and he couldn't. Did they say everywhere? Shane looked everywhere for Harley, but it was a storm. Everywhere. Did I say everywhere? The show looked everywhere for Harley. And so he went ashore and couldn't find Harley. So he's like, that's it, he's dead. Harley's gone.

Forever. How far out to sea was he? I don't know. Enough that a storm would be... In the waves. And couldn't get back into shore. Right. And in the end, Harley swam, how far is three miles?

About 5km. 5km? Yeah. Harley swam 5km to shore where he was found and was reunited with Shane. Wow. It's pretty cute. What kind of dog was he? A brown and black one.

You got a picture? What does Harley look like? Like some kind of healer? No, like medium to bigger. Okay. Yeah. A healer? Yeah, like one of those Australian ones.

Is that a good, that's obviously a lot. I mean, for anyone to swim, that's a long way, but for a dog. Yeah, I've always wondered about the buoyancy of dogs. Some dogs obviously like evolved and bred to be swimmers, like your Labradors and your Retrievers and that sort of situation. They've got a lofty, a buoyant sort of body. Some people get life jackets for their dogs, don't they? Oh yeah, some dogs are sinkers.

That's pretty cute. Yeah. Well, usually he gets strapped in, but I don't know what happened. Maybe he broke the straps or something and Harley went over. But they reunited. Was he emotional? The guy was distraught when he thought Harley had gone. But yeah, very emotional.

You wouldn't see a cat doing that. Cat goes, well, then a cat wouldn't be on the boat anyway. No, a cat would have been in the boat cabin. No, the minute it would have got stormy, the cat just would have popped out the old claws and dug them into the face cabin. No, the minute it would have got stormy, the cat just would have popped out the old claws and dug them into the face of its owner, being like, I'm here until this passes and I'm not getting wet.

Feed me while I'm here, please. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Today's Top Six deals with the fact that Shane Jones, our politician, said that criminals should be planting trees. Because we said we're going to plant trees. He's like, get them doing something. Get them planting trees.

Get them out there digging little holes, playing with that jelly, fertilizer stuff. Do you know the stuff I'm talking about? No idea, mate.

No idea. I just remember we, one of the Morals Intermediate School Council initiatives that I did with now Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Holy shit.

What? She's always had a thing about planting trees. So we had this section of the, oh my God, we had this section of our school that wasn't really used for much because it wasn't like usable in sports. Oh my God.

And we were like, we should make a native tree planting area. Yeah. At Morrinsville Intermediate. Those on the way to school today, you'll know what I'm familiar with. And you're welcome. And we did this fundraiser and everything. And then we had a working bit.

We planted all these native trees. Right. And now she's all about planting all these trees. Was it her idea? Why does she love trees so much? God, it's almost like she cares about the environment or something. Yeah, right. I'm always suspicious of people that care about the environment.

But to plant one billion trees, that's madness. Yeah. That's a lot of trees. There's like a song amount of trees. You know when people in songs sing about trees, they always sing about an insane amount of trees. So he wants to get criminals doing this. Yeah, so you dig the hole and you have this jelly

and it's just like a slow-release fertiliser. Right. And it was fun. It was fun to get criminals doing this. Yeah, so you dig the hole and you have this jelly and it's just like a slow-release fertilizer. Right. And it was fun. It was fun to put your hands in. This is where this whole story was going about us making a native tree part at Morals of Intermediate. Yeah. And you plop it in the hole, then you put the tree on,

then you pack it around and you're like, good luck, tree. And you leave that white tag around it so you know what kind of tree it is. Yeah, right. Classic mum stuff there. Yeah. And so he's like, they should be doing that, these criminals. So the top six other things crims can get stuck into.

Number six, picking up rubbish that people throw at a bin and then miss and then look to see if anybody saw them throw at the bin and then miss and then just walk away from it. Because it's also embarrassing because you missed. Yeah. You know, that can also be a reason you leave it and just walk away yeah oh god i must quite get out of here well i tried it's near the bin and they can also while they're doing that pick up ciggy butts the people who smoke and then drop

and then you're like oh you know people who smoke are always littering they're like oh yeah but not me and do it right in front of you yeah oh. You're like, oh, okay. Those are the kind of people that probably messaged me the other day about not reusing plastic bags for your umbrella wrapper. For my umbrella. Exactly. And also picking up chewing gum that people have spat on the ground and then it's been stomped onto the footpath.

Oh, yuck. That's all good stuff that needs picking up. Number five on the list of the top six other things crims can get stuck into after they've planted a billion trees. Making sure my car always has gas in it. I know you're not the most trustworthy bunch. You're in jail for a reason.

Yeah. But I hate having to stop for gas on the way home. Yeah, but giving criminals a fuel source, Vaughan, that's not a good idea. Yeah, but I also kind of wouldn't mind my car being stolen, so it's a double... Oh, right, okay. It's a win-win situation for me.

I'm not going to have to stop for gas. Yeah. Which just takes a weird amount of time. God, it's annoying. Even now when I don't have to go into the store, I pay at the pump,

I'm still stuck there on a forecourt for an awkward amount of time. Nobody likes it. I'm out there and I'm passing the time on my phone. And no phone's

on the forecourt. Mythbusters did an episode! Number four on the list of the top six things crimps can get stuck into after planting a billion trees, opening jars for old ladies. Oh, that's nice. It's just a nice, it's a step toward being a better person.

Opening a jar for someone and old ladies need the most help. Although, have you ever had trouble with a jar? Recently, like sometimes there's a jar and you're like, there's a jar and you're like, well, I can't open this. You bang it on the bench and it cracks the seal. Does it? It all shatters the glass. No, not the glass, the lid.

You know the little stopper top, it goes, and then you can open it. But you're talking to the guy who tried to open a beer with a fish slice and took the entire neck of the bloody hydrocarb. Oh, yeah, no, bit, bit, bit. You're talking to the guy who tried to open a beer with a fish slice and took the entire neck of the bloody hydrocarb. Oh, yeah, no, I can't help you there. There's glass in my beer. I have to drink it really slow so the glass sinks. No, don't drink it at all.

No lips because I'll literally get cut. Number three on the list of the top six things crimps can do once they've planted a billion trees are cleaning the bathroom. Does anyone actually enjoy cleaning the bathroom? it's the worst place. I recently did take advice from both of you two

when I was in charge of cleaning the bathroom and just walked in, sprayed exit mold on everything, walked away, came back, washed it all away

and then cleaned. I know. That's so good. I'm sorry, waste water system and the amount of toxic chemicals in the water system that day. But man, that was so easy. Also, you've got to be real careful what you're wearing because it'll have like white dots. I was in undies.

Oh, okay. I just went in undies. Yeah. I mean, maybe don't spray harsh chemicals partially nude, Vaughn, but the hell with my nose. Yeah. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six things crimps can get stuck into after planting a billion trees. Deciding what

I want for dinner and then preparing it for me, please. Yeah. Just take, just help out society in a way, you know. Stop couples having to be like, I don't know, what do you feel like? I don't know, what do you feel like? Well, I'm about to go to the supermarket, what do you feel like? I don't have anything. You really sound sad with everyday life.

Are you okay? There's a lot of inconveniences. Yeah. With it getting in the way of Fortnite. I'm this close! And the number one thing that crimps can get stuck into after planting a billion trees is picking up roadkill. I'm about to drive.

I'm doing a fair bit of driving this weekend. Okay. And whenever I see roadkill, I don't know, I've had this since I was a kid. If I see a dead animal on the side of the road, I can't help but imagine what it would smell like

and what it would be like to poke with my finger. What it would smell like? Weird, eh? No. Yeah. Seriously, are you alright? You're weird.

Like, I can't help but think, like, if I was walking and I saw it, I'd be like... If you were out this weekend and see, like, a guy sniffing some roadkill, it's probably boring. I've snapped. I've actually broken. That is today's top six.

The 2018 US Open's on at the moment, and it's extremely hot. 100 degrees Fahrenheit in New York City. That's how hot the temperatures are getting. As two people in studio, frankly, to open to Google, what's 100 degrees Fahrenheit? 37. I win. Oh, I put 200 degrees.

I was thinking about baking. It's 93. You'd be dead. Oh, you'd be straight up. Yeah, you wouldn't be playing tennis if it wasn't the actual boiling point of water. No. So, due to the rules, they're allowed a little break and they go into the... The dugout.

The tunnels under the... The dugout. Yeah, the baseball thing. Yeah, they're under stadium changing rooms. And they change their shirts and stuff because they're so sweaty and sweat's pouring off them. So... And they're only allowed a certain amount of time, so they're in a little bit of a hurry. And so, a French player, Elise Cornet,

I think it's Cornet because she's French. Otherwise it would be Cornette. Oh, I would have said Alizé Cornet. A cross of a very popular drink with the rappers in the early 2000s and a delicious corn cornetto. So Alizé Cornet. She nips in, gets changed, comes back out. She's got her shirt on backwards.

And someone's like, shirt's on backwards. Which is nice. That's what friends do. Although she should have known. The tag should have been like poking her in the chin. Yeah. It's going straight away. It's high, eh?

Yeah. It's high because the neck, and it goes, and you're like, oh, that's funny. Oh, there's a tag. You've got the sign backwards. To be honest, you've been in the raging heat playing tennis for a few hours. Yeah, and she's got a lot on her mind. So she just really quickly just nips off to the side, whips off the shirt, spins around, puts it back on, comes back. Okay.

Is penalised by the US Open. That is madness. She receives a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct in the US Open Code of Conduct. Now, is it... Thigh guys do this all the time, don't they? All the time. Finish a game and they take their top off. Yes!

Yeah, right. Pop bods, nice. She had, like, a sports bra on, which is like a crop top. Yeah. Like, I don't know what the rules are in tennis for having to, what you have to wear. But like, I've seen men playing in singlets before, right? Yeah, but is it true that we have seen men with their tops off? Maybe we haven't.

No, we 100% have. 100%. Have we? On those chairs on the side under the umbrella-y thing. Right. I've seen Rafael Nadal topless, and I don't watch that much tennis. Okay, so what happened? I've made me watch a little bit more tennis.

Oh, right, okay. But they went back on it, right? They've said we regret our decision. Yeah, yeah, they have. And they apologised. Sorry, we're a bunch of men. We'll just change our decision, basically. Is that what happened?

Yeah, so we had to see you, and it made us uncomfortable. We like seeing topless men uh just some mates or is it that they liked too much seeing her topless and they're like no okay distracted from the tennis i don't know but yeah they've apologized but man sexist and it wasn't like she walked over and she was like, woo, everybody! She was face against the wall, super discreet about it. It was so weird. It was so weird to hear she got penalised about it. Did you say penalised again? No, I said penalised

that time. Oh, okay. I think that's what you're hearing, maybe. No, he definitely gave it a penalised. No, after the jockey show last night, I think he got a little something on the mind. We were all penalised. We were all penalised. After the jockey show last night I think you've got a little something on the mind. We were all penalised. We were all penalised. Young girl, she's

five. Her name is Mia and she's from Tel Aviv in Israel. But the reason everyone has well she's caught everyone's attention is because on Instagram she is and I guess someone's doing it for her, she has the most amazing hair.

There's a lot of it and it always gets styled. So someone making her mum a thing. What's her name? I simply must Google. Mia, I don't want to say it wrong, Aflalo. Okay. AFL-A-L-O. If I just Google Mia hair.

It might come up. Five-year-old. There you go. Right. So she's getting, it's kind of a tiaras, what is it? Something in tiaras. Toddlers in tiaras. Toddlers in tiaras

situation where she's wearing dresses. Oh my good lord. But the hair is so amazing. Someone is doing this hair into like huge hairstyles and just the fact that she has that much hair at five years old has caught a lot of attention. Look at that.

She's got so much hair. They made a bow out of her hair. Oh, yeah. She's got a lot of hair. Yeah. Thick hair. And amazing hairstyle. God, it must get naughty as a father of children about that age with a bit of hair.

Oh, yeah. God, that must get naughty. So at five years old, she is a model, a hair model already. Well, Instagram hair model. Amazing. All because people are saying a model, a hair model already. Well, Instagram hair model. Amazing. All because people are saying you should be a hair model. Yeah. So she's got better hair than the rest of us at five.

But I would, and I regret bringing this up now because I don't know what mine is. I would like to know what you could be a model for. Because, you know, you've got friends who are like, oh, you could be a model for. Because, you know, you've got friends who are like, oh, I could be a hand model. Or like, you've got really great feet. You could be a feet model. I was talking to, at Caitlin's Drinks, Maddie, a friend of the show.

Maddie. Chic Babes Maddie. She had just been hand modelling. Had she? And I was like, show me your hand. And she showed me her hand. And I was like, that's a good hand. I can imagine you in a photo holding something.

I always joke about that. But like, is there, what do you do? What was she hand modeling? I don't know. Something. It was tissues, wasn't it? Or something? Like picking.

Oh, yeah. I think she was picking out the box. Tissues. Tissues out of the box. And her hand was the model hand. I was like, wow. Okay. Because people always say you could be a model for your eyes, Caitlin.

Wow, yes. You could be an eye model. An eye model. Yes. An eye model. Like just that bit. Although Vaughn said, yeah, I could just, just the, just above the, oh no, probably not the eyebrows.

Maybe just that little. No, you could work in the, you could do the eyebrows. I need to get, yeah. But nothing else. Just that part. Top of the nose. The bridge of the nose. Oh, that's all then. Not the bottom. No, you could work in the, you could do the eyebrows. I need to get, yeah. But nothing else. Just that part. Top of the nose. The bridge of the nose. Oh, that's all then.

Not the bottom. Not, okay. Hairy. Right. Really? Are you kidding me? Why did you not tell me? Rogue, rogue nasal hairs.

Oh, no. No, I'm only kidding. I'm only kidding. But you could, yeah, you could do eye modeling. People do say that, eye models. Because you could just be OPSM or spec savers, like just real up close. Yeah. Just without lots, yeah.

What would everyone, what would you be, Fletch? Don't have one. Calf muscles. Oh, yeah. You've got great calves, babe. Why could I do socks? Because my feet are ugly. Yeah, cover, yeah, exactly.

Or shoes. Shoes, you know, they kind of go from the knee down. Like a high foot. Oh, okay. Like a high foot. Oh, okay. Like a high sock. Yeah, but I've got a weird knee, I think. No, below the knee you're down. You just see calf muscles.

Yeah. Porn? Come back to me. I've always said if you shaved your legs, your chicken legs. I could do feminine leg modelling. You could do stockings. You could do your back because it's waxed. Yeah, but it's not like it doesn't matter if it's waxed.

It's still not a model's back. But no one's a back model. I was trying to say that you had nice, like, shoulders. But okay. I'm not taking it. I don't want to. What about, you could be a bed model. Yeah, probably bed.

Like the bed oil. Yeah. Give me a bit of time and stuff and yeah, I'd do want to. What about... You could be a beard model. Yeah, probably beard. Like the beard oil. Yeah. Give me a bit of time and stuff and yeah, I'd probably just do beard modeling. What about me? Too much silence. No. Too much silence. No, no.

There's too many things. You've got to come up with your own. There's too many. Well, I can't be a foot model because my toes are webbed. But what have you got to keep your toes together? Skin. What? What do you got to keep your toes together? Skin. What? What do you mean?

What do you mean? No, no, no. I didn't say what's keeping your toes together. That's why they're together. I said what have you kept your toes together? Oh. No, but they're little. They're quite stubby.

Stumpy. Have you not seen her feet? Yeah, I know. So it should be on the web. What about a teeth model? Oh, yeah, but they're fake. Oh, shit. They're made. I've got composites on my teeth. What about a teeth model? Oh, yeah, but they're fake. Oh, shit. Remember, I've got composites on my teeth.

Yeah, last year. Oh. So, I mean, that's nice. Wait, you've got fake teeth and we didn't even notice. I told you about it. I've really got to start paying more attention. I went to all those dentist appointments I went to and then I did a blog about it. Thank you for reading it.

God, you guys suck. How badly fake are they? How many of them are fake? My teeth are behind, but there's composites on the front of them. How come you don't talk like this then? Because when people get anything changed in their mouth, they don't talk like this.

Because it's just over top of my teeth. So it's like, don't you never get invisible braces. It's like, yeah, we all know. You're spitting all over us. We assume it was invisible braces or a lazy tongue. Okay, so what you want to hear from people Show me your ears.

Nah, they're off the market. Nah, I didn't even look. I was just being mean. Alright, so what you want people to call out with like Yeah, what you could be a model for.

And someone could have told you or maybe you just like really fancy this one thing about yourself. Just one part. Eyebrows. You've got one Yeah, you could do eyebrows.

But I don't think it's a very key way of people to ring up and say, this is what's great about me. No, no, you have to say, I mean, I wouldn't say it, but someone said once. That's how you approach it. Yeah, right. Okay, so what do you always. I mean, they're wrong.

This is positivity. Be kind to yourself on Friday. Right. You want to hear from people, they always get a compliment about a body part maybe. Yeah, what could you be a model for? Your one thing. We're talking about what you could be a model for.

What particular body part is good? Is good on you? Is solid. Maybe you're always getting a compliment from strangers and friends. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, oh, maybe it's time I looked

into this because I tell you what, beauty fades. Matt, maybe it's time to get an agent and model these fingers or hand. Yeah, we laugh about that. But we have a friend of the show who has literally just done a hand modelling job. It's a thing. Exactly. Ellie, you could be a hand model. Yeah, one.

One hand. Oh, what's wrong with the other hand? I think I've got a trauma, to be fair. Oh, okay. Oh, Jesus. What, did you try've got a trauma, to be fair. Oh, okay. Oh, Jesus. What, did you try to get a spoon out of the incinerator or something? No. One pinky got chopped off in a wood splitter.

Just a little bit. Jeez, okay. I just thought you were going to say, oh, the cat scratched me or something. No, no. And then the other two are bent from netball. Oh, my God. Okay, so that hand's out. But the other hand, you could be like a Michael Hill ring model or something.

Yeah, I've got really long fingers. Right. Compared to my palm. Is it your, which one's the good one, the left or the right? Left, so ring finger, ring hand. Good, good. Ring hand, okay. I was going to say, how would you tell on a photo,

but the thumb would be on the other side. No. Oh, you could kind of hide it. Could you mirror it? Couldn't you? No. It'd look weird, I reckon. It would, yeah.

You know how sometimes you see something and you're like, that's mirrored just because it looks weird. But do other people, have other people given you, strangers given you compliments? Not strangers, but friends when they realise how long my fingers are. Right. They're just like, oh, you could be a model. Yeah. Okay. Look into that., oh, you could be a model. Yeah.

Okay. Look into that. I just kind of hide the other one. I'm like, yeah, just this one. It's great. Okay. Some text messages. Thanks, you're cool, Ali.

Somebody said, I have an abnormally large bootay. I'm a white girl and I always get questioned about my squat routine and if I've had surgery. Are we talking like Kardashian kind of? Bootay, yeah. Bootay, right. And neither have happened. No surgery, no enhancement.

I just thank my mama. Good stuff. I got it from my mama. Is it a Will.i.am? Was that Will.i.am solo project or Black Eyed Peas Incorporated? It sounds like either. Got it from your mama. Yeah, that, right.

Make a flashback. Check how old that was. Okay. Somebody else said, a few weeks ago I was putting on deodorant and somebody said I could be an armpit model for deodorants because I have beautiful pits. It was creepy at the time, but I'm claiming it. Beautiful pits.

What makes a good pit? Oh, I've got a mole. Is that a mole? Do I have a mole there? Yeah, you do. It's up a bit. Your armpits are creeping me out. Do you know your armpit hair swirls like a tornado?

It's in a big swirl. Yeah, armpit model. Show me. Oh, yeah, you've got a cowlick in your armpit. Oh, what does that mean? I don't know, but you know when you're a kid and the little kid's like, Prince George has got one of those big, cute cowlicks. Fletch has got an armpit cowlick.

Oh, am I never going to be an armpit model? No, you could be. That could be your thing. Oh, it could be my thing. That could be your thing. Oh, it could be my thing. That could be your thing. Yeah, it's weird. Yes. Rick Sona.

Some other text messages in. I've got my hands, my long fingers. I've been told often I should play the piano and guitar. Yeah, you always get that when you've got long fingers. That's right up there I should play the piano and guitar. Yeah, you always get that when you've got long fingers. You always get that. That's right up there with being tall.

You should play basketball. Throughout my childhood as a teenager, I was teased about my lips. Everybody said they looked too big. Oh, you grew into those, didn't you?

Yeah, my head's growing into my lips. Yeah, okay. And thanks to the Kardashian, full lips are a thing. Although I think all full lips have always been a thing.

Do you think? Yeah, I think Angelina Jolie was ahead of the Kardashians on the full lip trend. Yeah. But then do you think people would always assume that because you've got bigger lips or fuller lips that you're always enhancing them? Now, probably, but it's like the squat person. I feel like you can tell the difference between enhanced and not enhanced lips.

There's other telltale signs like all the Botox. Yeah. And, you know. Hang. Okay. It's hard to get across. I want an adequate noise to come across with the face I'm doing. Hang.

Like that sort of thing, I guess. Yeah. Right. So somebody else said they have been told their farts sound harmonic. So they should maybe be a fart model. But that would be an audio fart model, wouldn't it? Yeah, I don't know if that's a thing. There is a new study that has said something.

If couples do this one thing together, they're generally more happy. This is in the Journal of... Oh, I regret saying this because I don't know that word. Gerontology? Gerontology. Gerontology. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Gerontology. Gentrologology. Gerontology. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Gerontology. Gentrology. Gentrology. Gerontology. It's in that song. What song? Love and marriage, love and marriage. They go together like a horse and carriage.

Ask your local gentry and they will say it's elementary. It's like a relationship specialist person. Oh, okay, okay. Who knew that song would come in handy? Who knew the theme from Married with Children and Frank Sinatra classic Love and Marriage would come into handy? This is the official journal which publishes articles on the biological

and medical aspects of ageing. Thank you. And so I'm guessing it takes into account relationships and ageing and that kind of thing. Yeah, so they wanted to see if there was a correlation between drinking and marital happiness. Is the answer yes and lots? So it probably didn't actually go the way they thought it would. So couples, well, I guess if you're drinking separately, that's going to lead to unhappiness because one comes home drunk and it's not fun.

But couples that drink together were overall more happy together. So as long as you're doing it together at the same time and one's not going off drinking, then it's going to be better for your marriage. Right. Does that work for you? Because you're having fun together or you're arguing together. You're not doing it separately. Whether it's arguing or having fun separately.

Right. Yeah, because it's... Yeah, probably. And you know where they are, you know what they're doing. Yeah. You know, and looking back on things, you share the stories of what happened on the... And it works specifically for females.

So for wives, if you're like drinking together, it makes them much more happier in the relationship. So it's even more so for females, for the wives in the situation. So if you're out with the rugby club, get the missus along. Get the missus along. The lads would love that. They really would. Saturdays for the boys and your significant other. Yeah. Get the missus along. Get the missus along. The lads would love that. Yeah. They really would.

Saturdays for the boys and your significant other. Yeah. You never know. They might like to go along with the boys. Have you ever asked? Not you specifically. It was like a rhetorical question. Oh, right.

Always like ask and she'll say no. Oh, I was going to say she'll say no if she doesn't want to go, but that's not always the case. Might say no because they want you to push more to prove that you really want them there. It's complicated. Okay, but we can, bottom line, drink together, be happy. Yes. In your marriage.

So, it turns out almond milk should nay be called almond milk. Oh, God. It should be called filtered water with taint of almond. Are you serious? Correct, Megan. Correct. Am I correct in saying, you know on the side of things, when it lists the ingredients, not the nutritional breakdown, but

it lists the ingredients and it's in order of highest percentage. So the first one, when you look on jam, it's always sugar. Sugar. And you're like, shut up, jam. You don't know me. And then it's like something else, something else, something else, strawberries.

And you're like, shut up, jam. Oh, sugar's like third on the ingredients list. It's all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if it's first, that's really bad. Yeah. Yeah. So this is, I mean, this is no surprise to me, I don't think,

because I remember looking at almond milk once and seeing, oh, yeah, there's bugger all almond in here. And seeing those articles that say, you want real almond milk? Make your own almond milk at home. I've made my own. Here's how using a stocking and a food processor and some water and some almonds.

Oh, yeah, it's a real pain. And then what? You soak the almonds and then you blend them. Blend the almonds. You blend them and then you blend them. Blend the almonds. You blend them and then you put them through like a muslin cloth. Okay. And then you squeeze it out. And there's a lot of water.

It's a pain. It's a real pain. It's a labour intensive. And then what do you do with all the leftover almond bits? Make almond meal? Yeah. It's hard being healthy. You make almond meal.

Yeah. You chuck in the bits. Or you could chuck it in like a muesli or a breakfast. Oh, right. So it's still got some in it. Yeah, so you still use it. Or you could chuck it in like a muesli or a breakfast. Oh right, so it's still got something. Yeah, so you still use it. Or you could mix it with sand and concrete and load yourself into a fireplace. Sure, sure.

Whatever you want. It's totally up to you. But people are outraged and surprised to look on the side of almond milk and find that most almond milks contain 2.5% almonds, meaning 97.5% of almond milk is not almonds. Most of it would be water.

Filtered water. Yeah, filtered water is the most popular ingredient. But then I guess if you were doing dairy-free, you wanted something in your cereal or your coffee, it's still got a taste to it. Yeah, it's still a good alternative, isn't it? Yeah. At least it's not like bad things or like things that are going to make me fat. It's got a taste to it. Yeah, it's still a good alternative, isn't it? Yeah. At least it's not like bad things or like things that are going to make me fat.

It's water. Does some of it have a bit of sugar in there though? I can't see sugar listed. You can't see sugar in that. Okay. Emulsifier. You get the unsweetened one. You get the unsweetened one, yeah.

Mineral salt as well as salt. Yeah, a little bit of salt. But two lots of salt. Oh, okay. Right. So if you put those two together, do you think there'd be more salt than almonds? a little bit of salt. But two lots of salt. Oh, okay. Right. So if you put those two together, do you think there'd be more salt than almonds? They've split them up.

But together they might have more than not. You want to get that one with a bit of coconut milk in it. That's the good stuff. Yeah. Coconut milk, almond milk. Okay, we're really close now to my special guest coming in. Just be nice, okay? Is it a cow?

No. Because we were talking about milk. We were just talking about milk. I thought you were going to bring in an actual milk. Because we've had, remember the minute chaponis, we've had like two come in and those were really good surprises.

We should get one of those little cow breeds. You know those little real cute, there's a breed of cow and they're like real little and real cute. No doubt we're going to hear from the one person in New Zealand that breeds them now. That's me! They're talking about our cows!

Hi, guys. Yes, the breed you're after is the so-and-so. Get in touch. We'd love to pop in. Quarter to eight. I would like to introduce Fletch and Vaughn now to my special guest this morning. Stephen Blaze joins us in the studio.

Hey, guys. How you going? Good morning. Hi, joins us in the studio. Hey guys, how you going? Good morning. Hi Stephen. This is a very lovely outfit, some forest green. Fashion week. Stephen works at the pattern table and actually makes a lot of the clothes for high-end women's fashion designers in New Zealand. Who do you make for, Stephen?

If you buy something in Ponsonby that's New Zealand made, there's a pretty good chance we had something to do with it at some point. Now this is made in New Zealand, not just the labels. Mate and Maldita. Good, because that can be confusing in Ponsonby.

Yeah, so Don't get me started. I will explain why Stephen's here next, but I do just have to leave the studio real quick, but I'll be back. Huh. I will be back.

It's not just getting together of like-minded fashion designers. It is that. We've been working together for the past few days. And successful... Who's of Hudden? I'll leave and I'll be back in just a second. Our last design has been copied endlessly. Even there's a New Zealand

brand copying it this year. Really? Yeah, the Luther. Why? The Luther dress. Fashion, that's why. Okay, alright, so you're going to

come back next. Yeah, and I'll explain why Stephen's here. Something's a bit fishy about this though, do you think? What are you doing? Why don't I get

a fishy vibe off Stephen at all? Look at our faces, we're so innocent. I don't know about this vibe off Stephen at all look at our faces we're so innocent I don't know about this nothing to see here now we've been promised a surprise

producer Caitlin yes Megan is out with you in the producer's booth she's asked me what do you want the boys to do play the house of hut

in bed please it's very rude that you've invited a guest into the studio, Megan, and then left the studio. Oh, okay. House of Hutton. She can't hear me, can she?

It's one way conversation. Okay, so you want us to play our fashion house music. And shut our eyes. Yes, please. Okay. House of Hutton. House of Hutton. Okay, I'm shutting my eyes.

You tell me when I open my eyes. I feel like you've entered. Okay, you may now open your eyes. What has happened here? I've, with the help of Stephen from the pattern table, we've recreated the Lost Propita outfit. So we're sort of transformed it for you. So what?

Can you explain a little bit of what we did? Because we had, for starters, we had a big leather trench coat. Yes, yes, that's right. Which didn't fit well. No, a blue and white business shirt. Yes. Yep, that's been... Now the glory of Vale school dress,

step back, what have you done with that? Oh, jeez. You made it a mini. We cut it into a little pleated mini. You would kick her right into a mini. We cut the business shirt into like a woman's off the shoulder shirt, which, you know, makes it a little bit more feminine. And then we just chopped the jacket up as much as we could

and I made it to fit her. New buttons too, new buttons on the jacket. Those are lovely. That button was a scarf before. Oh, I know. Because that's right, there's some scarves. We get some scarves in it. You might say, where are the other two scarves?

Yes, where are the other two? They're the lining of the jacket. Oh, okay. Wow, that's impressive. That is impressive. I mean, you've messed with perfection, but you have done well. So yeah, we unpicked it and re-put it back into the jacket as lining. That's amazing.

This is all stuff that people send in from their lost property. What about from the swimming pool? Where are the goggles? The goggles are now a choker around my neck. Oh my God. How did I not see that before? Wow. So this is what I'll be wearing to the ID Fashion Show on Saturday.

And I think it's a vast improvement for House of Hutton. Although I don't think Stephen wants to be listed as a designer, just FYI. Oh, there could be a future opportunity. We could do one of those X's. The collab. H-O-H-X Stephen. Is that because that's what you do in fashion, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. You do an X. Okay. So she's creative director for this. I'll try my best. It wasn't much to work with, but it turned out all right. You don't feel hurt though, Vaughn, that our original design's been taken?

Just make him block your ass for a minute. We do this to embarrass him. She doesn't know. She's got no idea that we're not actually putting on a lot of people. I think she enjoyed enough the last time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She didn't even get in.

This looks really cool. Do you know? This looks amazing. The skirt is really cute. I'm going to keep it. Then the jacket's really cool as well. He's even changed it to be like a little bit of a kimono.

And the lining is perfect. You could sell that to a cosplayer. I don't know who wears a long sort of dust coat like that. Vest situation. But somebody in the anime world will. I mean, it's still different. But I feel like we're going to make a better kind of statement.

Well, we went yesterday, Christ, different. You walk in the doors and you're like, where the bloody hell am I? Will.i.am fancy dress party? It's really out there. Fashion week. Everyone's wearing white and... Yeah, and like a Christmas tree or something.

Vaughn was not in Kansas anymore. I was walking through and then I hear, hey, Vaughn! And it Kansas anymore I know I was walking through and then I hear hey Vaughn and it's not a voice I recognise I was like I'm in a safe place

goodbye these are all nice people I'm not on an alien planet it's all good wow so I think we'll put a picture up of the

before and after but um yeah I'm happy I'm happy to go there now look at you go lost proper time oh yeah I'm happy. I'm happy to go there now. Look at you go. Los Propetars. Oh, yeah, I'm not angry, Stephen. No.

Welcome aboard. Welcome aboard. Thank you very much. Friday Flashback. Flashback. Flashback. All right. We warm up for Friday jams at 9 o'clock with Friday Flashback.

8 o'clock, we do this every Friday. And the rules are it's really just got to be a banger at least 10 years old. Megan, it is your pick. Oh, my God. This week. You came to work in your heart. Are you going to do the song that you told me? Do it!

So I heard this song on another radio station. I was like, what is this song? I really like it. I'm going to do it for Friday Flashback. Megan, don't. No, it was forced upon me when I came into the foyer in here. No, but don't talk about another radio station. Which one was it?

Which one was it? Was it Mix? Mix. No. It was the hits. Oh, okay. Right. And I was like, what is this song?

Because now people will be like, well, if they're playing songs like this, I'll go listen to them. I don't know if they will. This is the hits. Oh, okay, right. And I was like, what is this song? Because now people will be like, well, if they're playing songs like this, I'll go listen to them. I don't know if they will. This is the problem. So I heard this song, and I was like all for it, and then I spoke to James, the producers, and they're like, uh.

So producers, you're all against this song. Because if Intern Anya's against it, because Intern Anya and I are very same when it comes to picking songs. Oh, please. Intern Anya's on an absolute streak. Yeah, rate yourself. Okay.

Well, no, James is for it. And then he was, we all are for it initially. And then Doubt. I forget where we heard it. Was it out here, Megan? Yeah. At work. And I was like, oh, I remember this song.

Yeah, it's a bit of a ballad. And then looking back at it this morning and seeing the YouTube video and stuff, I was like, oh, I sort of backed away from the situation. I'll just almost give it away to you. It's a song of my folklore. Oh, God. I refer to this band and this song a lot. I know.

Yeah. As a joke. So from 2003, I think just once, and then we don't need to hear it again. But it's not like a b it again but it's it's not like a banger but it's a really good sing along this song was huge

at the time it was played and played and played radio play wise it was right up there for 2003 because it kind of

went across a lot of a lot of different radio stations to play this song would have been one of the biggest songs of the year yeah

my brother loved it I don't know if that's an endorsement or not. And everyone was like, whose cousin's an incubus? They're right by me. Whose cousin's an incubus? They're right by me.

Okay, let's just do it. And if you don't like it, Poover Stanks, your Friday flashback today. The reason. I'm not a perfect person. I'm not a perfect person. I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish

I didn't do. But I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new

And the reason is you I found a reason to show The side of me you didn't know A reason for all that I do And the reason is you Hoover Stank, It's The Reason, your Friday flashback. Megan's pick. And the crowd goes wild.

Do you know the only reason that song didn't get to number one in the United States was Usher Burn was just better, obviously. Oh, at the same time. At the same time. Nominated. That song nominated for Song of the Year at the Grammys, by the way. So not a bad pick, just a weird one. Somebody said, not the usual pace of the Friday flashback.

Yeah, no, that's true. A different class of banger. And I didn't know that song was on SingStar. Oh, it was too. Long notes. Everybody's saying that it just, yeah. You can hold the long notes. When they were in the car singing,

they were literally imagining the bar that they had to hold to get to the gold points. Superstar. Yeah. So a poll currently has just gone up on our Instagram story, FEMZM. Controversial Friday flashback, banger or hell no? We should say banger or clanger.

Oh, yeah. Because radio stations love when you rhyme things and they're also of different... You're always the interns taking notes. That's my pleasure. As a senior broadcaster. 56% saying banger. So it's real 50-50 there.

C's get degrees. Yeah, basically. Somebody else, let's go for some more feedback. I quite like, because we weren't expecting great feedback. Somebody said, I turned that up so loud that the dashboard of my Mazda Accela rattled. That probably has more to do with Mazda's poor craftsmanship

than Megan's banger, although this is a great song. It is one of those songs that you turn up real loud and you can just top of your voice. Yeah. Top of your lungs. Somebody else said,

a whole generation of adults just absolutely nailed the song in front of their kids while their kids would have been like, what a mum and dad song. What's happening? Do you know that song is 15 years old?

They're just doing the 15 year anniversary tour. I just Googled. Wow. Yeah, always saying. And they never came here. They never came here. Oh, what a crime.

Yo, but name another song. There was one other song. There was one other song. Yeah, there was. What was the other Herbastank song? There was one other song. There was one other song. Yeah, there was. What was the other Herbastank song? Where did they get that name from? So many questions. You know, I've never questioned the name.

They've gone through band members too. Oh dear. Are they? Let's not delve too deep. Is it like an old axe? You've replaced the handle and the head but you still think it's the same axe. Sure. I mean, weird analogy, Vaughan, but sure. I'm sure lumberjacks really love that analogy.

People who work with an axe every day, they're like, I've never thought about it like that before. It's not the old axe anymore, is it? We want to talk about mummy's boys. And if you've dated one, and I guess the early signs, because a psychologist. A body language expert. Oh, okay.

Sorry, I could have just let you have that. Don't say body language expert. It sounds pervy. Say psychiatrist. At least it sounds professional. No, her name's Judy. It's less pervy when you say her name. Judy, the body language expert.

Judy the perv has said, and she's identified Victoria Beckham's sort of like. Body language. Yeah, because that's what she analyzes. She has said that she's got a real thing for latching on to the men in her family to really make it seem like happy families. Yeah. That's so mean. I know.

It's real. Victoria Beckham loves spending time with her husband and her sons. Oh, yeah. Crazy grabber. She's called it clingy rituals. She has clingy rituals. She's a stage five clinger

with a gorgeous husband and children that she loves. I mean, yeah. If you were married to David Beckham, would you be just on the couch clinging on to him all the time? I wouldn't have been married to him. I would never leave my side. So, yeah, she said, and if you be just on the couch clinging on to him all the time? I wouldn't have to be married to him. I'd never leave my side.

So yeah, she said, and if you follow her on Instagram, it kind of is a bit like that. Victoria's body language poses with her entire family. She intends to imply that she sees herself emphatically in the role of the tie that binds. But she's even like that with the Spice Girls because remember her Posh Spice pose was like this. Like really like arms out because she had long arms and long legs.

Right, right. She's always like clinging onto them in photos or lying across them or yeah. But we're not, I'm not from a touchy family. So like that's really like big hugs and stuff. It's weird. We do quick hugs. Quick hugs with mum.

See mum. In like one of her latest posts, Brooklyn's now 19. So he's like a grown man. And she's still kind of clinging on to. Creepy from you with your given history. He's 19 now, so he's a grown man. He can vote and drink and.

Come over to my house. That was me being Megan, not me being me. I would hate to have her as a mother-in-law. That was a hard one to explain to my wife. What's Brooklyn Beckham doing here? Long story. But there have been many stories that she is, like, he's a mummy's boy, though, eh?

Yeah, because that story he broke, he had to go back from, was it New York he was studying? He went back to London because he missed his family and his mum. Yeah. So he's 100% a mummy's boy. Yeah. Do you have mummy's girls? Because Caitlin's a mummy's girl. No, you you have mummy's girls? Because Caitlin's a mummy.

No, you have daddy's girls. But then Caitlin's a mummy's girl, but is that not the same? Is that alright because it's a female thing? I don't know. But because do you, that's a thing though, right? Because it doesn't affect your opposite sex partner. No, no, she's like really wants Caitlin to find

someone. And my mummy is a really good like mother-in-law. Like, well, I think. I think my sister's husband loves her. I'm pretty sure. She would be. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

And so, like, my mum's just cool. Mummy's cute. I think it's more when it affects your, like, if you're in a heterosexual couple, the relationship you have with your opposite sex parent affects your relationship more than the same sex parent. It's competition for affection, not the same sort

obviously. Yeah. At least you're from like Taranaki or Westport but... Vorn! Something about that West Coast. I think it's the prevailing winds. But it's a different sort of affection but I totally get it. I already know when my girls get boyfriends,

there's going to be a real, like, who's the most important man in their life? Who's alpha dog? Don't do that to your girls. Too late. Indy's going to be a daddy's girl. Yeah, definitely. Or he's going to tell you to piss off.

I know. I have to really work for that one. Okay, so you want people to call that have been in a relationship with a mummy's boy? A mummy's boy. Yeah. And how did you know? Like, how bad was it?

Was it even bad? It's different. The daddy's girls, the boyfriend might get like physically, not intimidated, but you know, there's that physical nature of it. But the mums play a psychological game, don't they? When you're with their boys, they're like, she's no good. All right. Well, 0800-DARLES-AT-HEM-9696.

When were you with a mummy's boy? Tell us about it. How'd it go? Body language expert has said that Victoria Beckham's got very clingy relationships with the men in her life. Citing David. I mean, she must love them. I know. What a monster.

How does she cuddle them? Get off them. You've got the hottest husband in the world. Get off him. But it's long. husband in the world. Get off him. That's why I reckon Judy, the body language expert, is just really seething. Although it's long been said, though, that Brooklyn is a mummy's boy. So we want to know when you've been dating a mummy's boy

and those early signs. When did you know and when were you just like, okay, this is a bit weird? Some text messages in. I'm with an only child who is a super mummy's boy. Okay, so you've got two things there. Only child and super mummy's boy. She's super intense and even has a full-on shrine of him in the hallway.

Oh, no. But what's a shrine? Just pictures. Isn't that what parents do? Any kind of achievements. My parents don't have anything like that for me. Yeah, but you're shit. Did you get anything?

No, I never won anything. I mean, they'd love a shrine of you. So I just send them a trophy just to say I won something. Can you please just send every monk, send them something else, just another thing for the shrine and it's just a trophy that you bought. And like age, How do you age? Don't you rub a bit of like vinegar or something on that brass and it ages it? I'll buy like an old rowing trophy.

Yeah. And get your name engraved on it. I don't know if I ever told you about this, but put it in the shrine. Yeah. I don't know if I ever told you about this, but I won the 1948 rowing champs. Somebody said I was so anti-mummy boys. I had experience with them. It was awful

until I had two boys of my own. Now the switch has flicked and I am making them into mummy's boys. Erin, you're with a mummy's boy. I am. And so what was your first few signs that you were dating a mummy's boy? Well, he still lived in his mother's house at 28. She didn't live in the house with him, but they would talk to each other every single day.

Okay. And she visited every single week. Did she bring things when she visited every single week Did she bring things when she visited? Um, no, but she's an amazing babysitter Oh, that's handy That's handy, I don't want to burn that bridge Did she ever try and meddle in your relationship at all? No

Okay Well, you've got a good one then That sounds like a good, yeah Because the visits and the phone calls you can handle As long as they're not trying to break you up No, no, no. Well, you've got a good one there. That sounds like a good, yeah. Because the visits and the phone calls you can handle as long as they're not trying to break you up. No, no. We've moved to Christchurch now, so we've got a bit of distance.

Should we just move sitting? You've moved him away from mum? Oh, that would have been some talk about that. Thanks, Nicole. Emma, were you with mummy's boy? You were? So I used to date this boy

when I lived because I'd moved to university. Yeah. And his mum was a little bit of a psycho. She would,

I'd have to fly to him because we were long distance. Okay. And sometimes he would pay for my flight. Yeah. And she'd check

his like bank account all the time to see what he was buying and what he was spending and stuff even though he was like 20 years old, turning 21. Yeah. And yeah, and he hated like the fact that she was buying me flights to come and see him and stuff

and basically he was like all good with that and cancelled some of my flights. Wait, he cancelled the flights because... She'd ring and say, I've just checked your bank account. There's a flight. Is she coming home this weekend? Not likely.

Cancel that. And he'd cancel it. Yeah. Okay, yeah, mommy's boy. Yeah, I think you're better off rid of that. So you're still with him or you're not? No. No.

Yeah. Plus you went to university and you know what they say about going to university. Yeah, there's lots of things to learn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's like a saying of people like, yeah, I know the saying. I don't know a saying. It's just like there's heaps of hot people, right? All right, Emma, thanks for your call.

Caitlin, are you still with the mummy's boy? I'm not. Okay. No. What happened? Well, we were together for six, seven, six years. Wow, okay. And on

Valentine's Day, actually, his mum turned up at my work with all my clothes and told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He got his mum to break up with you? Yes, he did. On St. Valentine's Day.

Yeah. At least do it the day before. What did you even say to her? I had no idea what I actually even said to her. I was just like, oh, okay, that's nice. Did she handle it well or was she like quite smarmy about it? No, she handled it pretty well. I mean, it's not really the situation you really want to be put

in. No, you can imagine she's like, well, I've got news for you, Caitlin. It's over. My boy's back to being my boy. Did you ask her why he didn't do it? You're like, where? No, I was quite upset and then she told me he'd

moved away. I was like, oh. So she's like, it's over. He's moved away. You're out of it. Here's all your clothes. Wow. Were you living together?

They'd just sold their house. Right. And I was living at it. And I'd just left for work. Oh! What? So you literally walk out the door and they're like, Operation Pack Stuff, go.

Oh, my God. Most of my stuff was packed, but yeah. Because you thought you were moving anyway. You just thought you were moving with them. Wow. And did you ever speak to them again? I had to go back up to the house and get my cat. You can't pack a cat, can you?

Oh, my God. Hard to pack. Hard to fold a good cat. And how else was he a mummy's boy, though? Was she just always kind of interrupting, interfering? Oh, she was always there. He would completely ignore me when we were all together. It was so hard.

He sounds like a mummy's boy and just an awful boyfriend, to be fair. Yeah, he does. Caitlin, thanks. You called some text messages. Somebody said, I broke up with my mummy's does. He needed to be rid of that. Caitlin, thanks. You called some text messages. Somebody said, I broke up with my mummy's boy after nearly four and a half years together. I should have seen the alarm bells

when we started going out and his mum had all his passwords and would do all of his online banking and everything for him. Who came for online banking? She'd ring every day and often, without us telling her, ask how a restaurant was

that she knew we'd been to because she'd been looking at his online banking and seen that he'd spent money there. That's scary. Now, at 25, he can't clean or use the washing machine. He doesn't know how to pay any bills. This is the problem. He doesn't know how to do grocery shopping. So I'm okay with smothering boys with love.

Like, that's totally cool. But don't do everything for them. Because then when they get a partner, they expect they're partnered at all. As a boy, like, smother them with love, but then, like, kick them in the ass. Really confuse them. Keep them on their toes. It'll keep them agile and, like, quick-minded. It'll be like, what's she going to do today?

I don't know what I'm dealing with. Somebody else said that they were dating a mummy's boy and every day on the way to work, he'd call in at her house and she will have packed him another lunch. Packed him lunch every day. I'd probably milk that. I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

I'd just totally not be okay with that. Be like, grow up, man. Make your own lunch. Somebody else said their mummy's boy's mum would come around every single day And like give them money most days as well Like five or ten dollars In this weird

Like pocket money for a grown adult Pocket money, yeah Weird That's so weird Okay Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. All the details you can read to stay at ZM Online. We'd love for you to get a team together. Join us at the Good Home. $1,000 for the winning team. Today's fact of the day is about horses.

Okay. Okay. Miniature horses. Miniature. Anything that falls under the horse umbrella. Okay. This would include. Donkey?

Pardon me? Donkey? Good question. Are donkeys? They're very close. They're of the equine. Zebra? Yeah.

Good question. Okay. I don't know because if only... Actually, that would be... Once I say this fact, you should Google can zebras... Dot, dot, dot. And then I'll tell you the fact that you can get to Googling. Today's fact of the day is horses can't breathe through their mouths.

What? Only through their nostrils. Only through their large nostrils. That's why their nostrils are so huge. They are huge. Huge nostrils. Oh, through their large nostrils. That's why their nostrils are so huge. They are huge. Huge nostrils. Okay. A horse, and it's

because they can't breathe through their mouths, and of course they do a lot of athletic, what do they call this, aerobic? Is it aerobic where

it concentrates on the breathing and it's the cardio? Yep. So they do a lot of that, so they need to get a lot of air into their body.

What about when Mark Todd jumps his horse over the thing into the big puddle-y water pond? Go ahead. They never go under the water though, do they? No, it's never like that.

What about water polo? How do the horses breathe under the water? They've only got nostrils. They come like us. Horses do love to swim and horses are pretty good swimmers. You wouldn't think so because their feet are so poor. They're so tiny. Made for running, not for swimming. But horses do love a swim.

Okay. Good for the... But just keeping above the water. Horses through nose or mouth. I mean, zebras. Through nose or mouth. Yeah. So they can breathe through their mouth.

Yeah. Why have they got... Okay, well, horses can't. Why are they bi? I don't know. Because they choose to be. So apparently it keeps the horses from inhaling food. Oh, okay.

There's a little flap. But then my question is, and if there's any crazy, I mean perfectly sane horse people listening. When a horse goes... How does it... I think that was a bit of porridge. That's

disgusting. Great news. I've just lodged the porridge I had on my back tooth. So it can push the breath out, but it doesn't necessarily breathe through. Yeah, because that's when they go... They blow the... I'm imagining it's air from in the lung coming out that makes the lips... Like that. Unless there's something in the nose that just...

Makes it happen. Yeah, right. Interesting. Yeah, they can only breathe in their nostrils, which was news to me. They've also got the biggest eyes of any land mammals. Horses. Yeah, I'll give you that. They've got big eyes.

Big eyes. There's no land mammal with a bigger eye than a horse. The only other- Beached whale. Correct in saying that, but that's dead. That's not supposed to be. No, but it's on the land. Okay, so seals, whales and ostriches all have bigger eyes.

But of course, ostriches aren't mammals. Are they, Megan? And seals... No, they're birds. And seals and whales are aquatic. Right, okay. So they can't... Interesting.

They can't compete for the biggest eyes of the land mammal against the horse. Okay. But today's fact of the day is horses can... You know what? A horse couldn't smoke a cigarette. Well, that's good news. Damn it. So if you ever see a horse with a cigarette in its mouth, it's bum puffing.

Call it out on it. Call it out. Say, you're not really even smoking that. You've just got that in to look cool. And I'll tell you what's not cool. Lung cancer. Which it's not going'll tell you what's not cool. Lung cancer. Which it's not going to get because it's not smoking. No.

Unless it's got a cigar up its nostril, then it is indeed a smoking horse. Okay, good job. We'll compliment it on looking cool. So today's fact of the day is horses can't breathe through their mouths. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. This is why. Fat. This is why.

Fat. This is why. This is why. Fat. Fat. Fat. So, This Is Why I'm Fat is a segment of the show where we highlight, showcase new foods. Yummy, yummy foods.

Can we just flash back to a previous This Is Why I'm Fat? We've received international mail. Okay, yeah. Thank you to Kelly who listens to the podcast. She's in Germany and she sent us the Lindt spreads after we talked about how Lindt was bringing out chocolate spreads to rival Nutella. God, they look

delicious and they're just in a nice jar. That one's 40% hazelnuts. Yeah, and this one hazelnuts. Don't go near my hazelnuts. It's our first date. Does that mean it's just noose? Three days

Three days minimum Before one gets to go near the hazelnuts Now you're Indian Am I? Yeah You started off German And now you're Indian Am I a German Indian?

Yeah you're a German Indian Okay great German Indian So yeah that's hazelnut That's dark chocolate And she also said Oh anyone that's You guys always remember There's the milk. And she also said... Oh, anyone that's always rated a five is the milker chocolate. Yeah, because when you were married to a Euro, Megan...

Eastern Euro. I'm having the white one. The milker chocolate is... The milker chocolate was what we got sent for presents. Oh, my God. It's so cheap over there, too. Right, so thank you so much. But the foods we're talking about today, one Australian.

In fact, I thought both of these were Australian, but Megan shocked me earlier this morning when I brought this to her attention. McDonald's have launched for a limited time a apple pie McFlurry. Yeah, think about that. What does that consist of?

It's literally the McDonald's apple pie in the McFlurry. So they flurry up the, but that would melt the ice cream, or is it not? Does it come from frozen? Because those apple pies are frozen, right? It's just what people do. They'll buy, they're calling it, like, it's a customer hack that they've, I guess.

That they've adopted. Adopted. Tell me how it works. Well, they just basically cut up an apple pie. Caramel sauce. Yes, yes, yes. But you're not listening to my problem. It melts the ice cream.

It does a little bit. You're not taking my concerns on board. It does, but it's fine. It just doesn't melt at all. You'd be better, and take this from me. Okay. A man who knows his pods. Because I'm imagining the apple pies at McDonald's,

they're frozen, right, and they deep fry them or rapidly heat them in some manner so that the inside becomes like lava. Right. Take them from a point of frozenness and chop them then and add them into the, and then you're not going to get any ice cream melt. Right. But you'll still get the taste of the apple pie. If you want it warm, slightly warm it maybe, but you don't want it at standard heat.

It would just make an absolute laughing stock of the ice cream. Now, the other food I wanted to highlight for this is why I'm fat. And I said to Megan, I was like, oh, my God, look at this. Earlier this morning before you got in, I said, someone sent me this on Instagram. It's a Kit Kat Gold, which is, because, you know, people, and I went crazy for caramilk earlier this year, which is Cadbury. So it's like a caramelised white chocolate, isn't it? Yeah.

And this is a Kit Kat Gold, and it's golden white chalk with caramelised chocolate. So And this is a Kit Kat gold and it's golden white chalk with caramelized chocolate. So it's like a Kit Kat in caramel. With caramel, yeah. Except it's Nestle, different companies, but they're obviously like,

well, everyone's all about the caramel. So, oh my God. I'm like, this is amazing. These are in Australia. I'm going to get some. I need to get my hands on some. Megan's like, oh, they're here.

They've been here for ages. I've seen these in New Zealand. And you didn't think to tell one of your best friends in the whole wide world who loves caramel chocolate. It's not exactly caramel. It's got biscuity bits in it. That's good, though. Still, it's as close as I'm getting to caramel, which is RIP at the moment.

It's like he's been on cocaine. That's dried up. He's willing to settle for crack. I don't think you can't just rock into a supermarket and get a big block of it, though. But it is scattered around. Where have you seen it? I don't know. I think I've seen a little one.

You know, like a normal-sized Kit Kat. At a candy-specific outlet. Not a bar of chocolate. Right. Because you famously still have never bought yourself a candy bar. No. Blows my mind. Because I feel guilty.

But you'll get other people to buy them and eat those. No. Well, you'll have a bit of other people's. every now and then or a block of chocolate but not like not like a chocolate bar that's quite sad isn't it well uh the apple pie mcflurry in australia that sounds that sounds pretty bloody by the way you don't need it to wait for it to come here you just no just do that please yourself just be do it make it yourself they can just make it your own. No, McDonald's, just do that, please. Hack it yourself. Just make it yourself. They can just make it. They've already got

all the ingredients they need. And the caramelised white chocolate Kit Kat is the other reason. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why.

This is why. This is why. Fat. I just went to the bathroom before to alleviate myself. That's, yep. We got that. I've got a bladder full of urine.

Okay. So, I was in there. Now, you were in there when I got there, Fletch. Yep. Did you notice that someone had pushed the plug down on one of the sinks and like filled it up and then not unplugged the sink? And there was hair in it. Yeah, yuck.

Well, like they had a shave. No, like longer mystery hairs, not pubes. I would say they'd be too fine. It was a bizarre situation. It was more like someone had splashed themselves and maybe used the water to do their hair. Maybe. But then they left the water.

It was bizarre. Oh, yuck. Now someone else has to empty that. I know. And that's what I was going to put my finger in. But I'm like, not today. Not Friday. Not Friday.

Not today. I put on a Tuesday. If it was a Monday or a Tuesday, I'd say. But also, that's someone else's yuckuck water I'm not putting my hand in that No that's why I was like I'm imagining the cleaner's got a utensil Like a What like a fork

Like a fork or something Well it's one of those plugs That you push down And then you push down again For it to come up So I'll just wait for them To have a tool to Cause I'm not

No one should have to put their finger in that No yuck So this is where my monologue started Cause I'm now in the toilet by myself With a sink With a hair in it This isn't an inner. So this is where my monologue started. Because I'm now in the toilet by myself with a sink, with a hair in it. This isn't an inner monologue. This is an external monologue.

This is talking out loud. I thought to myself, what would you say to the person if you saw them doing that? And I was like, oh, come on, mate. It's not really fair

on everybody else. Out loud. Come on, mate. It's not really fair on everybody else to do that. And then I grabbed the paper towels

and I'm wiping the paper towels and then I threw the paper towels in the bin and it fell on the ground. And I said, see, look at this. That missed, but I know I'm at fault. So I'm going to pick that up and put it in the bin. Turn around, there's a guy standing there. What are you saying?

Just looking at me, sort of terrified. I think he's a visitor to the company. I've never seen this guy who would have been in his early 60s. Yeah, it would have been better if they'd known you. Yeah, yeah, if they'd known me, they would have been like, that guy's lost. He's crazy. But explainable.

Yeah. But he just looked at me and I was like, oh, g'day, mate. Trying to be like overly friendly. Yeah. And he's like, how are you? I was like, yeah, real good. Real good. Have a good weekend.

Have a good weekend, eh? And he was like, yeah, I will. You too. Yeah. And I walked out. And then as I was walking out, I was like, I'm not going to be able to pass this up. I was like, come on.

Come on. Like. Like. You needed your imaginary friend to come with you. My invisible friend was mucking about. Come on. And then I did that thing where I opened the door and you hold it for somebody else and they go under your arm

and they're like, what are behind me? So he's like, I hope he was in no way spending money with the company because he'll be like, we can't. Not on that show he's not well he's not well he's not he's not doing

he's not functioning alright he needs to see somebody ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Megan the podcast

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