ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 03 2019

Episode Date: December 2, 2019

Megan received a weird compliment from a Doctor, wardrobe malfunctions and when did someone forget about you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Also some wild weather for Wellington this morning affecting flights. Last night Air New Zealand cancelling flights in and out of Wellington. Eight flights departing Tuesday morning cancelled and nine arrivals. So you might want to check there. What is a storm called?

Has it got a name? Because they said it's one of the biggest storms. I don't know if it's got a name. It's one of the biggest ones and it doesn't have a name. Could we give it a name? Maybe it's not technically like a cyclone or whatever we call it.

Yeah, it's just a front. But then they're all fronts, aren't they? It's like a bigger storm. Everyone's like, watch out. Is it a weather bomb? Or do you just need, it needs to be called something? Stephen. Cyclone Stephen.

Sounds like a real shit bag. So what MetService is saying, heavy rain warning in place for Westland through to midnight tonight in Wellington. Nelson Canterbury, high wind warnings in place for strong winds gusting up to 140k's. Obviously warning of the potential there with trees and power lines. And then in studio Megan's got her own

problems. Her coffee cup keeps spilling tea on her boobs. I'm trying to be eco-friendly I keep getting tea on my boobs. I had a keep cup incident. The little dobby bit in the middle that spins around and covers your mouth hole. Not your mouth hole, the cup's mouth hole. It just came out.

Mid-sit. Right. And coffee all over you. Yes. It was not enjoyable. I was naked at the time. Why? I was earthing, Megan.

I had my feet buried in the sand. I was reconnecting with Mother Ruth. Drinking coffee. Doing some earthing and having a piping hot coffee. But anyway, what I do in my time is my business. It is. The top six is coming up. Yeah, there's a spate of spread accommodation.

What does that mean? Exactly what it sounds like. The Nutella Hotel and the Vegemite Villa are two examples of actual things. You can stay there. So I've got the other top six. Condiment accommodation. A condomination. That doesn't work very well.

Give me some time to work on that. Ideas. All right, you lot. Listen up. Give me some time to work on that. Ideas. All right, you lot. Listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines. Three news stories that are found online.

Quirky, odd, unusual stories. Born a Megan only. You're only allowed to pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, woman fails in bid for seat upgrade. Headline two, you're right in for seat upgrade. Headline two, you're right in trouble. And headline three, next level house truck.

Ooh, next level house truck. I'd like a house truck. I feel like I know that. Do you think that in your future life, you could be a boomer with a camper van? 100%, yeah. And you and Sade hit the road? Yes, yes.

It'll drive her crazy. I was going to say, I couldn't see Sade doing the camper van life. She'll hate it, but no, it'll be awesome. I like a caravan. I like a camp. I like a caravan. So I can imagine you just evolve into a camper van, and that camper van is just a flash house truck. Yeah.

Some of them are so expensive. yeah really expensive like bits that like come out on the sides and yeah fancy yeah super fancy and then you can go the other direction like you might see a gypsy fair in town and they're literally a truck with a house kind of like nailed on the back. I want number three. I feel like I know the urine trouble one. Okay. What happened? So it's supposed to sound like you are in trouble, but also urine.

Yeah. Oh, is it the cinema? Yep. The movie cinema. There was a package left outside that said human waste or something. Yeah. And everyone freaked out. Yeah, close.

Freaked out. Yeah, they did, yep. Yeah. That's that story. Okay, well, you know that one. Do you want woman fails and bid for seat upgrade or next level house truck? What did you want, Vaughan? You want the house truck one?

Yes, house truck. Yeah, okay. Okay, we go now to Ethiopia now. And this features on the BBC News website where they've done a video story on this house truck. An Ethiopian driver, he loves spending time in his truck, but he also needed somewhere to live. So he's like, well, why don't I live in my truck? But rather than just build your standard house truck or house bus, I'll show you a photo of his house truck. But rather than just build your standard house truck or house bus,

I'll show you a photo of his house truck. Wow. Oh, wow. It looks like the Weasley's house from the Harry Potter movies. It's three stories. Is that held together? Man, you would not want to go over the Brindwians. Heading north for a lovely Bay of Islands holiday.

God, you'd have some angry drivers behind you, eh? The Brindwians, the Kaimais, the Ramatakas, Arthur's Pass. I'm just trying to think of roads that people would take on the way to their holidays that they certainly wouldn't want to get stuck behind that in. I don't even know if... No, it does. It's driving down the road, so it does...

Slowly and straight. Slowly and straight, yeah. They wouldn't get a wharf here. Oh, definitely not, no. How would you get it under the roof at the VTNZ? Just that you actually wouldn't. You'd clear it off. I don't think this would pass under most motorway bridges.

Anywhere in New Zealand. No, no, no. Anywhere. This would be very tall. Like, it's three stories. Good Lord. Right. Good Lord.

Anyway, that's pretty much all there is to that story is that some guy just decided to build a three-story house truck. Crazy ass three-story house truck. Madness.

Fleshforn and Megan. The podcast. ZM. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. The FBI, this has come out because of the Black Friday sales and Cyber Monday sales, which are coming in today in the US to kick off the old holiday season shopping. Lots of people getting smart TVs.

Smart TVs connect to the internet. Yeah, they've got Netflix built in. Pretty much every TV you buy now is a smart TV. Now, some smart TVs, not all of them, some smart TVs include a little camera and a microphone. I'm guessing you can probably do Skype straight into the TV or all that sort of video calling.

You can get the camera attachment for the PlayStation, can't you? Yeah, the PS4. Yeah. Yep. And most gaming systems, but some TVs have them built in. The FBI is saying take care as they, given how much of that TV is, you know, computer. Yeah.

It's connected to the internet. It's hackable. And they would be able to access your camera and your microphone if they could get in. Much like they could do on a laptop, except laptops have more ways of stopping this. Now, Megan, just crossing to you now, on your side of the desk, you look quite shocked and worried.

No, I was just, that's interesting. I have a smart TV in my bedroom. Yeah. Yeah. Directly in front of the bed for watching Netflix. Does it have a camera in it? I don't know. But the other thing they're saying is if you've got this in like your kids room or anything,

like apparently earlier this year, a Google Chrome hack was uncovered. Right. You can broadcast whatever you want to people's Google Chrimes. So from anywhere in the world, that could broadcast anything onto that Google Chrome. I could imagine if someone just turned your TV on

and started, wow, playing anything. So would your TV have to be on? No. For the camera to work? Yeah. I mean... I don't know. Maybe not.

Jesus Christ. Jesus. This is why your mum unfunds the TV at the wall every night when she's finished with it. She's always like, I don't want that little red dot glowing.

It's more than that. The boomers were ahead of their time. Yeah. Yeah, well that's because mum doesn't like the red dot on because it wastes power. Yeah. Their paranoia is finally were ahead of their time. Yeah. Yeah, well, that's because mum doesn't like the red dot on because it wastes power. Yeah. Their paranoia has finally caught up with actual technology.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that's... Right. You still look very worried, Meg. Would they have seen some stuff? Yeah, it's just not nice. What a roll of the dice for hackers to just randomly start

trying to get into smart TVs. You'd probably have to hack 100 before you found a channel you wanted to watch. It'd be like scrolling through Skype. Yeah. 100 channels of crap. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't want to do that.

Well, let's fingers crossed to just skip through my channel. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. And then you'd probably miss the channel you do want to watch. You flick over and it's already finished. Yeah. Do you have a TV in your own fletch? No.

Probably for the best. got one in the lounge right we're shenanigans are plenty no not in the lounge not on the couch you live alone

every room's the bedroom isn't it that's not a thing is it not is it not I mean not the kitchen you're a bit vanilla old boring old I've got no affection then about you no shit mate No. Is it not? I mean, not the kitchen. You're a bit vanilla.

Oh, boring old. What the fuck should I think about you? No shit, mate. He's an ice cream parlor. He's got 32 flavours. What? You can have it in a cake if you want. I don't know what that meant. What are you talking about?

I don't know. What does that even mean? No, I've absolutely got no idea. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hey, hello. A couple of weeks ago, when we were still in November. When we were still in November? Yeah.

Oh, those were the days. Oh, well, wasn't I? A Nutella pop-up hotel was announced to be opening in Napa Valley. Well, that's wine country, isn't it? Yeah. Well, this looks very lush, sort of a Mediterranean style accommodation situation and Nutella are taking over it, rebranding it Hotela Nutella.

And you can win a chance to stay there by entering, but you have to be American. So I'm just telling you guys the backstory here. Don't go too crazy. I mean, I love Nutella and spreads, but I don't know if I'd stay in a Nutella hotel. They've got like some guy from the Food Network, an iron chef who's going to teach you how to optimise your breakfast.

With what do you do? Just put it on toast, eh? If you want. Oh, he might make real fancy like crepes and put like, ooh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Nutella crepes for breakfast. And then you remember you can get those in Thailand for about 35 cents each. Yeah.

Oh, Thailand. I just got to Thailand. Yeah. So this is opening. Now, I don't know if it's off the back of that, but it seems similar. Just across the ditch in Australia, Vegemite Villa is launching. The bed inside the giant Vegemite jar, which is only open for two nights. Okay.

It's a giant jar. You sleep inside the jar in a bed that looks like toast. Oh, my God. Themed slippers and themed Vegemite eye masks. $89 for a night. It's only open for two nights. It looks to be some sort of joint promotion between Booking.com and Vegemite. But it looks pretty cool.

I'd stay in Vegemite Villa. It's literally just like, it looks like, well, I wouldn't say a water tank because it's not a water tank. It's literally just a huge purpose-built jar of Marmite. That would give people claustrophobia. Yeah. Even when you shut the jar. You might as well sleep with the door open. Yeah. To get a bit of air circulation.

Yeah, but it's Australia, so snakes. No thanks. And bears. Yep, bears will get you. Lions and tigers. Everything. Everything will be popping in there. So it's only open for two nights.

It could fit 31,000 jars of Vegemite in it. I think you're about to say 31,000 people. Definitely not that many people. So the top six are other condiments that need to look into accommodation. It seems to be the buzz at the moment. Number six on the list, the best food mayonnaise motel. Oh, imagine that. Mayo Motel.

The Mayo Motel. Yeah. What would the themed bits be? Lettuce. Well, you'd certainly question the stains on the duvet if you were staying at the Mayo Motel. No, you wouldn't question them. You'd assume that they were spent watches of mayo.

Right. Number five on the list of the top six condiment accommodation options that need to be looked into. The ranch dressing ranch. Oh, okay. Yeah, good idea. Yeah.

It's just a giant ranch. There's ranch dressing. Taps. Oh, okay. Yeah, good idea. Yeah. It's just a giant ranch. There's ranch dressing. Taps. Okay, taps. Ranch dressing. Number four on the list. This has become quite a condiment of choice at our house. Okay.

The sauerkraut quarters is number four. Would you say that's a condiment? It's listed as one of the world's favorite condiments. Because you have like a little bit. Because to me, a sauce is a condiment. Or a condiment is anything that accompanies food. It could kind of be like a relish. I think it's its own food on its own.

I'll disagree with that. You wouldn't eat sauerkraut as like a... You wouldn't eat it as a side? You wouldn't eat a bowl of sauerkraut. Maybe that's why I've got a little bit of a pinched tum. I did go a little crazy on the sauerkraut last night. I've got a big 8am poo coming. Thanks for that.

Oh, yeah. Okay, that all makes perfect sense now. Number three on the list of the top six condiment accommodations, the Aeoli apartment. Oh, yum. Everyone loves a bit of Aeoli. Again, no need to question the stains on the sheets. It's obviously Aeoli. Yeah. I'll tell you what's great, sriracha. A aioli. Again, no need to question Stands on the Sheets. It's obviously aioli.

Yeah. I'll tell you what's great. Sriracha aioli. A mix of the two. You just put hot sauce in. Just put straight hot sauce in there. Number two it is a sauce, but it's hoisin sauce. The Hoisin Sauce Hotel. Very

specific sauce there. Thick, sy. Ooh. Very specific sauce there. Thick, syrupy. Goes well with duck. Oh, God, it's just delicious. It goes well with duck. How good is a hoisin sauce duck? With dumplings or spring rolls. Those little duck pancakes.

Right. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Eat them forever. And number one on the list of the top six condiment accommodations are the Sriracha Shed. Oh, no. Eat them forever. And number one on the list of the top six condiment accommodations are the Sriracha Shed. Oh, yum. Yep. It's a hot little shed.

Don't get it in your eyes, though, because it'll really sting. That is today's top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Just learning more about the Earl of Egmont. The Earl of Egmont. Because that is what Mount Egmont was named after when James Cook called Mount Taranaki

Mount Egmont. It was named after the Earl of Egmont. Right. Which was a title in the Perrage of Ireland. It was a title created in 1733 and went extinct in 2011

with the death of the 12th Earl of Egmont. But I can't find out what Egmont means because I would have thought it would have been a place. But anyway, I've never even wondered or looked into why the large mountain in the Taranaki region was called Mount Egmont and Mount Egmont National Park. But from next year, that will not be its name. It will officially only be considered by one name. It's been dual named for the last 30 years.

It's 1986. Yeah. But in 2020, it will just be going to the one name. Mount Taranaki. Yeah. Yeah, good. Yes. But in 2020, it will just be going to the one name. Mount Taranaki. Yeah. Yeah, good. Yes. I'm all for this.

I don't know anyone that calls it Mount Egmont. Old white people. Oh, yeah. Well, growing up, because I grew up obviously in New Plymouth. Yeah. I always called it Mount Taranaki because I saw it as the mountain for the whole region.

Yeah. And that was what the region was called, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then they called it Egmont National Park though, didn't they? That's going to be renamed as well. That's going to be Te Papa Kura o Taranaki. Or Taranaki.

Right. So that's officially changing. So there's great news for local sign writers. Isn't it weird? I always think that whenever something changes their name, I'm like, great to keep the sign writers busy Yeah Good for the sign writing industry

To get the name changes Because there'll be lots of little Yeah Signs that need to be changed But no one's going to Have an issue with this are they Maybe some old boomers Are you kidding me

No I'm related to white people From Taranaki And they will 100% Have issue with this Oh there will be some But I don't think This will be a hot topic

Of Christmas discussion With the old white people In my but I don't think... This will be a hot topic of Christmas discussion with the old white people in my family. I don't know if it... I think most people call it Mount Taranaki. They might not say... I grew up saying Egmont, and that's the way it should stay. They'll say it Taranaki. Taranaki.

But most of them would call it that, I think, now. Somebody said there were some butthurt boomers in the Facebook comments yesterday. Good day. It was difficult reading. Yeah, right. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I mean, there's certainly...

I heard this yesterday. They were talking about it on Talkback. The visceral hate from the old timers down there was hilarious. It's been Igman all my life. I'm not calling it this new name. Oh, God. Because it's going to adversely affect how they live from now on. Oh I know. That name change. Yeah.

It's going to be horrible. Well it was like, you know, just changing the name. Probably calls bushfires like when we let gay people start enjoying the same legal status of marriage. Yeah. Well bushfires since then. Alright Israel. Absolutely out of control. Has God given him

his $14 million payout yet? Is that still in mediation? Did anything come of that yesterday? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know if he got that. Okay.

I'll just be like, well, God can take care of that then. I'll just write a cheque. Who writes his cheques? The Pope? We're not going to let him stand up and be like,

I was going to be captain, are we? Like, aside from everything else. I saw he said that, yeah. Because I could have been in the All Blacks if I put my mind to let him stand up and be like, I was going to be captain, are we? Like, aside from everything else. I saw he said that, yeah. Because I could have been in the All Blacks if I put my mind to it. Yeah, it's like Bourne being like, I would have been in the All Blacks. Use yourself as an example. I'm allowed to use myself as an example.

You're not. Megan's far more likely to have been in All Black than you. Thank you. Is that Nelson Mungrel? Yes, it is. But she would have bitten him and then she would have been... Yellow carded or is that a red card? That's a red card.

I think biting is a red card. I think biting is a solid red. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast, ZM. Well, I'm never really sure about avocado because it's fat, but it's healthy fat. And so last week they were like, you should only eat a quarter of an avocado per serving. Which is just easy to do half,

isn't it? It's easy to do a whole bowl when it's guacamole. Multiple avocados. Yeah, multiple. But this week it turns out that they are good for you. And stopping middle age spread, which we had to get Fletch to

explain what that was to us. Why did I have to? I had never heard of it. I've never heard of middle-age spread. That's been around for like forever. Just think of margarine when they say that because boomers like margarine. That's what happens when you get over like 25 or late 20s and then 30s and 40s. Your body just spreads out and you just get a gut basically is what that means.

Oh, right. Gravity. How have you never heard that term? I don't know. Your body just spreads out. Yeah. It's so unfortunate. It's horrible, isn't it?

So, yeah, avocados apparently can help you. And this is, it's like a future flab protector. Right. So those who regularly eat, often eat Avos, are less likely to become overweight or obese. So eating one avocado a day, you probably want to spread that out. See, that's all right at the moment when they're cheap. But off peak, when they're $8 an avo, you're not going to be eating one of those a day.

One avo a day could stop you getting middle-aged flab. And it says it can help you stay slim in like the following decade. So it's future-proofing. Huh. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I can't keep up because last week I was like, okay, I've got to restrict to like a quarter of an avo each time,

which isn't enough to spread over two bits of toast. Well, again, it's like the chocolate, the wine, and one week it's good for you, the next week it's not. Yeah. So the key is just to eat it all. Yeah. Just stop worrying about things. And just be in a positive mindset about them all.

Yeah. And then that's half the battle. Yeah. Yeah. Done. Moderately eat all of them. Coffee, chocolate, red wine, beer. Yeah.

Okay. It works, right? Yeah. Fleshforn and wine, beer. Yeah, okay. It works, right? Yeah. Fletchvorna Megan, the podcast. ZM. Love to talk about when you were forgotten about this morning because my best friend sent me a text yesterday to tell me about her day. So we often do.

Cute, eh? She's like, how was your day? I just had a facial. I was like, oh, lovely. Treats herself to go and get facials every now and then. Next message,

very nice, but, and I was like, oh, okay, what's happened here? She said, the lady forgot about me.

So she laid there for a while with a mask on. So the lady came in and put her mask on and she said, okay, I'm going to be back in 10 minutes. Is it like a mud? So explain, is it like one of those papery masks

or a mud mask? No, it would have been like a paint-on mask, I imagine. Right, okay. Because you're going to get a facial and they're not going to put a paper mask on you. Okay. That's like at home. You could do that at home.

Yeah, right. Obviously, if you put a paper mask on, you have to put a photo of it on Instagram. A-hole. No, that's not a shot. That's a shot. That's a wide scatter shot at everyone that does that, not specifically targeting you.

Immediately, I remember Megan's post like a few weeks ago wearing a face mask. But people, when they put on a mask, they're like, well, you know who's going to love to see this? The people that follow me on Instagram. You know who's going to dig seeing me look like The people that follow me on Instagram. You know who's going to dig seeing me look like I've tripped and fallen on some wet baking paper? I always get a shock because I'm always like,

it looks horrible. It looks scary. You're in hospital and you've had burns. You look like a burns victim. Okay. So she didn't get a paper mask. No, she got a paint on mask. And of course they have to leave it because it has to like dry and soak in and stuff.

So you expect to be left. Yep. So she said, I'll be back in 10 minutes. She said, I had a small nap and I laid there for a bit and I waited. So you can imagine the nap would have been a wee while. When she woke up, she's like, I'm still alone. I still have the mask on. Did she know the time?

Because you might not be with your phone. Yeah. And if you've got a mask on, she probably had like stuff over her eyes. So she wouldn't be able to look at her phone. So to figure out how much time had passed, she starts singing Lizzo songs. Because she's like, if I sing them in full, I know that's around three minutes that's passed. Right. And so she gets through a few Lizzo songs.

She's like, well, I've done three Lizzo songs. Did she just do Truth Hurts three times? Or did she change it up and do some non-single album tracks? Back catalogue. Right, okay. That's good lyric recall. True fan, yeah. Amazing.

And so she said it was definitely probably over 30 minutes before the woman came back and said, I'm really sorry. I got caught up with someone else. Oh my God, I totally forgot about you. Totally forgot about her. Is that bad? Like, does it start burning your skin or something?

Or are you fine? No. You can't leave it on too long? It'll just dry up, I imagine. Okay. And you wouldn't be able to move your face. So was there any, like, refund or did you give it to her for free or? I didn't follow up with that.

You would expect that at the end of that you'd be like, well, I don't feel like I got the full treatment. Well, no, you got more than a treatment, though, didn't you? You got an extra long treatment. No, but there's more to a facial once the mask comes off. But she didn't get that. She didn't get you got over treated no but there's more there's more to a facial once the mask comes off but she didn't get that she didn't get that

no well she gazed up for half an hour yeah actually the room's booked after you so we're gonna have to shuffle you along

that's pretty rough because we forgot about you yeah I mean she had a good nap and she got a face mask right better than your hairdresser forgetting about you

when you've got your your bleachy foils in. Oh, yeah. Your hair just melts your hair, right? Well, I think we've got to take some calls on this because, yeah, imagine if you'd been forgotten about when you had your foils in. Well, if you start feeling the burn, you definitely need to be like, hey! Well, I'm pretty sure I got

a couple of extra minutes of acupuncture once in the back and you can't move and you don't know the time because I couldn't move my arm because otherwise the needles hurt yeah so kind of shoulders

and arms and back I was getting and I was just there and it seemed like ages but it might not have been you're just not good at sitting still yeah I'm not good

at sitting still it was probably like 10 minutes yeah so even 5 minutes feels like any time forever it does alright well let's

take some calls 0800 dials at M 9696 when did someone forget about you? Like, are we only taking, like, if you were getting something done, like a service? Yeah. I mean, that was a long pause for thought.

I like to imagine somebody listening to the radio was like, what are they going to do? Are they going to take calls about parents forgetting them as well? Or are they just going to step to professional services? I don't know. If we want parents forgetting their kids, that's not a thing. You've got to be going to get a service

and somebody forgets about you. Yeah. And you're in the waiting room or you're waiting there with a face mask or whatever it is. They pop you somewhere and they're like, you just wait here, I'll be right back. And they forgot about you.

And then they forget about you. Okay, 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Where did someone forget about you? Give us a call. We want to talk about when you were forgotten about. My best friend went for a facial yesterday, got the mask on and everything. Also my friend.

Associate. Are you a friend? I'm an associate. Associate, okay, right. Got the mask on and everything, but then was left for like half an hour, came back and the woman admitted that she'd forgotten about her.

They completely forgotten. Oh, you're so the woman admitted that she'd forgotten about her. They'd completely forgotten. Brilliant. Rebecca, who completely forgot about you? It was actually on last Friday and I was at the doctor's. All I needed was a referral letter to the specialist. I'm having surgery for carpal tunnel. Okay. Oh, Megan's been there.

They can't figure out whether it's that or tennis elbow. It could be both. Oh, I had both. Good times. That was great. It was a great time. So you're falling apart as well. I'm falling apart as well, again. Yeah, okay. But I was, yeah, so sitting at the dogs.

I had an appointment at quarter to 11 because I had to go see the specialist that afternoon and my doctor didn't actually write the referral. So I had to go see another doctor to get the referral. And that's all I needed. And I sat there for like, it was quarter to 11, the appointment. And then by the time 12.30 came around, I kind of had already gone

to the receptionist twice. Yeah. And they're like, oh, she'll be with you shortly. They love that. They love that when you go back up, eh? Oh, I know. And then it got to like quarter to one

and I was like, come on, this is getting ridiculous now. And they said, oh, she's just gone on lunch. She'll see you when she comes back. Oh, oh, she's just gone on lunch. She'll see you when she comes back. Oh, no, she doesn't go on lunch. I've been here for two hours. Just give me a referral before you

have your sandwich. That's all I needed was a piece of paper. They forgot about you, didn't they? An extended ACC certificate. That's all I needed. Did you get it in the end? No. I got the referral, but I didn't get the extended ACC. Right.

Okay, well, that's another issue there. Thanks, Rebecca. Peter. She's passed out. I would be too. It's fresh. It only happened on Friday. Peter, who forgot about you?

So the eyebrow piercing person forgot about me. Wait, at what stage of the piercing? While the needle was still in my eyebrow. Oh! How long did you have the needle in your eyebrow for? It felt like 10, 15, so his phone rang and then he took the phone call

halfway through, so he stuck the needle in my eyebrow, his phone rang, he took the call, and then he walked out of the little you know when they used to have those white vans to do the piercings? I don't remember that. Peter, I think piercings in the back of the van is where you went wrong here. Are you, are you? It seemed totally legit, he had like gloves and stuff.

You know, he sprayed spray and wipe on my eyebrow. Tell me to shut my eyes before he did it. Wow, Peter, brilliant. Thanks for your call, mate. Some text messages. Somebody said, I went through the Macca's drive-thru. Yeah. Got the classic, we'll be with you in a minute.

It was one of those Macca's drive-thrus with two speaker boxes. Oh, yeah. Okay. I waited for 10 minutes. Five cars went through the other voice box line. And I ended up pushing them and I'd be like, hello. Hello. I've never felt more pathetic in my life.

You've forgotten about me. Hello. I want my happy meal. I want my cheeseburger. I'm getting really hungry. It's not easy to get out of it too. You can't just drive away. Yeah.

You're stuck there. You're stuck. Somebody else said they went through, and you know how if what you've ordered is going to hold up, they get you to park in one of those parks, and they said, well, bring it out to you, and they sat out there for 25 minutes. And they went, and they're like, I think you forgot about me.

I want my cheeseburger. Nothing makes you feel like a kid more than being forgotten yeah i think you forgot about mine um i was a patient as part of an emergency exercise in the tunnels under a university what university's got tunnels under it for a start denaden there's all those tunnels under the octagon yeah but that's not the that's not the uni yeah does the auckland uni have tunnels under it god i need to know now albert not the university. That's not the uni, yeah. Does Auckland Uni have tunnels under it? God, I need to know now. Mount Albert's got tunnels, but I don't know if they're fully accessible. I was located and given some treatment,

but then left in place while they carried on searching. No one came back, and I was in the dark. They left me there for about an hour. I just need my cheeseburger. How dark? Like pitch dark? Pitch grey. Oh no. I had to walk around and feel it my way

out of the tunnels. And I got out and I said, you guys can go be a moi. The organisers decided that the mistake meant I had died and so part of the response staff failed because they hadn't found me and

administered medication but they hadn't gone back for me. That would annoy me because I'd be like, it's just a Part of the response staff failed because they found me and administered medication, but it hadn't gone back for me. That would annoy me because I'd be like, it's just a stupid exercise. Obviously, they weren't dying. They were an actor. Somebody said I went for a job interview. It was a second job interview.

I arrived on time and they were in a meeting. So that was late. When they came out, they said, we'll be right back. And I didn't come back. I was there for 90 minutes waiting. No, it might have been a test. To see how long you'd wait. It's one of those tests, yeah.

What's the way to pass that test? To kick up a fuss and be like, I've got things to do. I'm busy. My time's important because then you're going to get stuff done or they want a happy waiter. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, because I never like going up and being like, hey, you forgot about me.

You forgot about me. I just wait quietly for hours. Somebody said, as a teacher, I do this all the time. I'll be like sending a kid outside and say, get out there. I'll be out to talk to you in a minute. Oh, my God, that happened to me. And they forget about you. Yeah, and then an hour later, you look and you see this sad little face at the window

and you're like, oh, you forgot about me. Oh, sorry. You told me more at Western, I mean, where we naughty, I won't do it again, you've got a bit more. Or I was just doing it for the attention, you've got a bit more. Fletchvorn and Megan podcast. Thanks to Who left that email ding on?

Was that you? Aren't ya? I'm recording. The Fletchvmore and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark. Wrap up any mobile this Christmas with a Spark prepaid gift box. You can turn your dinger on now, aren't you? A UK mother has gone on Mumsnet. The sanctity of support between mothers, sarcastically said.

It always seems this is where the big ones kick off. What, the big internet debates? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Well, this is weird, but she took her two-year-old into a men's changing room. She is a mother. They are at the pools.

Yep. There may have been some sort of infant swimming lesson, a very important thing for your infants to learn to do. She takes a two-year-old into the men's changing rooms. She's a grown woman. She's a grown woman. And she said they do that because the women's changing rooms are usually overcrowded.

And her two-year-old was a boy? Yes. Oh, okay. Yes. So she said one time when she was in there, a man came into the changing room with his daughters. Yep. And as a father who only has

daughters, I've taken... If you're at the pool with them, you, as a grown man, can't take them into the woman's changing rooms. No, because you'll look at the boobies of the other ladies. They'll be there. They'll just be out, won't they? the boobies of the other ladies. What? They'll be there. They'll just be out, won't they?

The boobies are there. Yeah. I could keep my head still the whole time. At some stage, boobies are going to come into the peripherals. Yeah. So I have taken my daughters into the men's changing rooms. Yes. To get changed, to get myself changed.

So this is what this guy does. This woman, again, reminder, the mother is in the men's changing rooms and she said this man just walked in with his daughters and dropped his pants to get changed and she saw his penis. Now, shouldn't he have used a cubicle or shouldn't he have had a towel wrapped around him and kept it off show? That's his safe place. Yeah, that's his changing room.

It's his changing room, so he's allowed to be naked in there. So what, the internet's divided over who's in the right and who's in the wrong here? She's in the wrong. Because she's in a men's changing room. She should take the two-year-old to the woman's changing room. Yeah. Even if it is crowded,

if you're terrified of being confronted by a penis, don't go where they roam free. Yeah. Because dads will take, yeah, like you, you'd take your girls to the men's. Yes. But even that's a bit, do you think that's weird for like, if other men are getting changed in there? Is it awkward?

It's weird. For them? For the other men? Yeah. I don't know, They're like little kids. You wouldn't think so. Everyone's just there to get changed. But because most pools would have a family change room, wouldn't they?

So there wouldn't be this issue. I haven't. Oh, yeah. So there's. Yes. There are rooms sometimes, not all the time, but there are rooms that are like family change rooms. But one family goes in, that's gone. Yeah.

So you're not just going to stand around in cold, wet dogs waiting. Yeah. So you just get changed. And I've never even thought a big deal about it. Yeah, but I think she's in the wrong because she's a grown woman in the men's changing rooms. Yeah. If a grown man went into the women's changing rooms,

no, it'd be marched out immediately. Yeah. Because they'd just be like, oh, you just want to see some boobs. Yeah, you'd be like, the other one's busy. I just thought I'd come in here. That's not our changing room. What do you think, Megan? I feel like the grown-up has to go in their changing room.

Yeah, and take the kid. Yeah, and take the kid. Yeah. Producer Kaylin, what are we thinking? Yeah, I'm the same. Right. Because online, was it pretty 50-50? No.

It wasn't? But the people who were on her side were very, very passionate about it. Whereas everyone else is like, I'm confused as to why you're offended by going into a men's changing room and seeing a penis. That's what you're allowed to do when you're in amongst your own. Right? Like in my changing rooms in the gym and stuff with girls, you just strip naked. It's fine. Right.

I don't because I get nervous about my boobies. Are you a towel-er? Yeah, I've been to the towel-y. I'm not. I don't care if other people do. I panic and I try to get my feet into my undies too quick and then I get wet undies. You're like getting your leg in and you're like, eh.

And then it's like a little bit wet. You're trying to get them on. It gets caught on your foot and then you're like, oh no. And you stand down and you stand on your undies on the wet floor and you're like, no! And that wet patch is always around the crotch. Sometimes if that happens, I'll just ditch the undies and go commando. Go commando, yeah, right. But, you know, I grew up seeing naked people all the time, so I'm just like indifferent.

I just don't care either way, really. You grew up in the nudist colony. Yeah, and people, you don't get changed there. It's weird about making a big deal about it. Like, yeah. Projecting that sort of like... Because she's going into his changing room. Yeah. And projecting that in front of your kids and your kids are like,

oh, okay, so nakedness must be something to be ashamed of. Yeah, it's very taboo. And hidden away and we must never look. Maybe the problem she had was with the penis itself. What? Good or bad? Well, exactly.

Right. I remember as a... This, I don't know. Where is this going? Where is this? I remember as a kid going to get changed at the Mount Hot Pools, the domain. Yeah.

At the bottom of Mount Maunganui as a little kid. Where is this going? And a man walked in and dropped his pants, and I had a towel around me. I was like little, and I was like, Jesus. I actually said that out loud, and my dad was like, hey. And that was when I learned the etiquette of the changing room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that you don't look. Well, you're just there to get changed, aren't you? I was like, Jesus. And I think it was a double blow for the old man because, you know, obviously when you're young you see your dad getting out of the shower and what have, and I'd never exclaimed as to his size of his penis, yet I see another stranger and immediately I'm so like, Jesus, I was just taken away by it. You imagine like a little five or six-year-old me.

Yeah. Holy shit. What? How do I get one of those? And you're still wondering. I know. Well, genetically, I knew what I was in for from an early age. It's Christmas tree time.

Have you put your Christmas tree up? No. I don't have anywhere to put it yet. I saw like four people on Facebook putting up their Christmas tree. You said they all put a picture up. I was like, hmm. Saw a lot of cars with Christmas trees tied to the roof. I've seen the deliveries.

Over the weekend. Of those perfectly shaped Christmas. I love those nets. Yeah. They're cool. They put the net over the tree so it doesn't like. A stocking. Yeah.

It holds it and then you can put it in the car or on the roof of the car and it holds you in. But it's the classic debate raging of what's better in various ways. The real or the fake. And especially in this time where if you're using plastic you're going to be judged. Yes.

And fake plastic Christmas trees are apparently hard to recycle. The plastic that's used not overly recyclable. So there's that. Yeah. But then there's people saying, well, you're cutting down a tree. The plastic that's used, not overly recyclable. So there's that. Yeah. But then there's the people saying, well, you're cutting down a tree.

But apparently it would take, you would need to use that plastic tree for 20 years before it becomes more eco-friendly than cutting down a single tree. Okay. Our first Christmas tree, my little one, I've had for like 11 years. And I've just actually re-gifted that to someone who didn't have one. I was like, I have a spare. You can babysit my other Christmas tree. It's just a little one. But my new one, this is only its third year.

Right. And that was a, because you splashed out on that, didn't you? You got a fancy one. Treated myself. Because I'm pretty festive. 20 years? It's going to last 20 years? Oh, I hope so.

It's pretty like, it's pretty hectic. Well, it's got to last 20 years if you want it to be more environmentally responsible. What do we do with it? Like actually, if you wanted to like get Biff one, what are you supposed to do? What is it in the bin? I think in the bin. Right. Because I don't know how you'd recycle a fake Christmas tree. What they don't talk about the

environmental impact is Christmas tree holders. You know if you get a real Christmas tree every year you're like where's the Christmas tree holder? Where are you kids with the bloody Christmas tree holder? Where's the Christmas tree holder? And then you buy another Christmas tree holder and then you find your old Christmas tree holder and now you're hoarding plastic and steel Christmas tree holders.

Yeah. And they really serve no other purpose. Do you have a real Christmas tree or a plastic? Yeah, we'll get a real Christmas tree. Right.

Because no one in our family has got hay fever. Yeah, that's my issue. Is that why you can't do the real ones? Because I love the smell of them. Yeah.

Maybe now would be a great time for me to get Unspons Plugin completely unsponsored for the Akoya Pine Christmas candle. Because, you know, I buy those every year. They're delicious. I've got a couple. The smell of Christmas without the anchor of a tree.

Without the annoying tree coming home to a dead tree after holidays. Without all of that. And the pretty decorations and the lights that you put on at night. Without the joy. You'd have to put your presents under. Yeah, without the joy. You'd have to ditch your Christmas tree pre-Christmas if you got one because you always end work before Christmas and then go overseas. Yeah, that's why.

Also, by the way, I think I'm going to start new with pot plants next year. Oh, my God. What do you mean? You killed your whole... Yeah, I've only got three left. And you think they're going to die while you're away over Christmas break? Well, no, I've asked a friend to house sit my... They're going to come and take them to their house and leave them outside.

Oh, that's what I was going to say. I'll take them to my place. Or you can, whatever works. I'll rehabilitate them. And then the other ones have slowly died over the year. But are they dead, dead? Oh, yeah, they're dead. Dead, dead.

I had like two pots of dirt with just like little nubs out of them. And I was like, I've really got to. And I was like, I'm not going to get a plant now in October. I'll wait until I'm back in January. And then I'm going to go plant shopping and start again. I'm going to put a message out at King's Plant Barn. No, they love him. With your face on the wall.

They love me. Yeah, not allowed in. Because he keeps spending more money. There's planticide. Yeah, I'm going to get get my discount after I spend like, oh yeah, they'll see me coming. So at a plant shop, they like you, but if you were doing this at a pet shop,

there'd be questions. Yeah, it's not okay. I'd be banned from anime. I'm back for more hamsters. I'm just going to preface this chat by saying that I'm not pregnant. Just so that no family get excited

or anything like that. And yesterday I did get a few comments after I put three gingerbread men on my story because there's now three of us in the family or something. One of them was me with a handbag. I made a gingerbread man with a handbag.

I saw that, yeah. The third one's not a kid. That's so weird. I didn't even think about that. I just thought, oh, you're making gingerbread men. I hope you bring some in. Sorry, gingerbread people. Oh, I didn't. Why didn't I bring you?

Oh, I'm really sorry. There's about 30 of them. Why did you make them? One of them looked burnt. Yeah, one of them looked burnt. Yeah, that was the last tray that I forgot about. The one with the Gucci handbag. The gingerbread person.

I had too much spray tan. What? It's me. Oh, I thought you said you were doing a spray tan. That's why you forgot about them. Oh, no, I just forgot about them. Sorry, I'll bring some tomorrow. So you're not pregnant.

Not pregnant. But you did see a nurse. Yes. So I had a scan yesterday. A pregnancy scan? No. See, now I have to scan yesterday. A pregnancy scan? No. See, now I have to tell everyone why I was there, because otherwise you're going to jump to conclusions.

It's none of our business why you were there. Don't tell us. We don't care. In my mind, I've guessed. They're checking for endometriosis, okay? Right, right. Which is what lots of women go through. No, but I need to, because I don't want anyone to jump to conclusions.

Okay, not pregnant, not pregnant. But yesterday I had a scan, which the lady is so lovely because it can be a little bit intrusive because it's our, should we call it a wand? It's a wand. Is it like a 3D scan? It's like one of those 360 cameras. Should we call it like an internal scan? Yeah, right, right. So the wand, okay, yeah, right.

Does it move once it's up there? It goes in and it stands still. No, it moves. So it's like one of those old school, when you used to, before scanners, you'd have a thing, you'd roll it over a piece of paper and it would scan it as it goes. So it goes and moves around and does a scan.

Is it like in... Does it map it? Like a topographical map? I don't know. Like how they map caves? Maybe. Well, they draw on the screen to like... Is it like in the movies where there's a hostage situation

and the tactical team have to put one of those little cameras under the door and it like... Yeah. It looks around. Is it like that? And like that and they're like he's by the couch go it's just like a little wire fiber optic camera yeah okay is it like that sure sure so i mean you're feeling pretty bony as you're sitting there and the nurse was so lovely She's like talking me through everything. Patted my knee. She was like, you're doing so great. I was like, thank you.

I'm just lying here, but thank you. That wasn't the compliment though. So afterwards, she, because she's like the nurse, the scanner, she's not really qualified to give the final reading on everything. But she did say, I have a very photogenic uterus. She said that it was beautiful. Wow. And she'd see some.

She'd see them. Yeah. She did. She's like, I've seen some. Some of them, all their bits are in hard to reach places. Fletcher's is a mess. Excuse me, mine is also beautiful and photogenic.

She said it was like perfectly proportioned. Everything was in the right place. Okay, so your scale's good. Is she allowed to say that? Because imagine if you were getting an exam and the doctor said, you have a very photographic and beautiful penis.

Again, I'd take the compliment. Yeah, okay, true. I took it as a compliment. You have a very photographic and beautiful penis. Thank you. Again, I'd take the compliment. Yeah, okay, true. You're the same. I took it as a compliment. But, I mean, I wasn't sure if she, like, wanted to take photos and then, like, use it for a medical journal. But do you know what? I wouldn't be opposed to that.

Can I be a model? I love that even in this intrusive situation, you're like, can I be a model in your medical journal? I'd put it on my Instagram and be like under my handle, model. Uterus model. Check out page 173 of the Grey's Anatomy textbook.

Don't even worry about it. Did you walk into the waiting room and look around and be like, y'all ugly uteruses? Or you walk out and you say to somebody While you're waiting for your little I don't know You know how when you leave the doctor

They give you a little printout Yeah Take that home and put it somewhere And you're like yeah Nah And you forget about it Because that's what they are there for Keeping the records

You're waiting and you're like I've just been told I have Quite a picturesque uterus And the woman's like She said the same thing to me Would that dull Yeah when she says it to thing to me. Would that dull the compliment? Yes. No, because she told me that she sees a lot

and they're not all as beautiful as mine. Right. Or does she say that to all of us? So now you walk around with a certain air of arrogance about your uterus being better than other people's. I went home and told my husband, I was like, do you know what? You're a lucky man. What did she say? Photogenic. A photogenic uterus. Like, do you look at

other people at work now with uteruses and be like, my uterus is an 8, theirs would be a 6. Oh, I don't know. Mine's a 10. She said it could be a model. It's a 10. It's a 10 uterus. I've got a 10 out of 10. Okay, great. Fleshforn and Megan, the podcast.

ZM. Yesterday, I was liming. R.I.P. We'll talk about this soon. Limes are R.I.P. in Auckland because of the council. That's another issue. But, you know, I was on the lime and I was in my brand new shorts. I'd say third or fourth time out in these shorts. Black shorts.

Kind of like a cottony, linen-y these shorts. Black shorts. Kind of like a cottony, linen-y black shorts. Like quite a light summer short. But here was the issue. The crotch was a little lower. You had a drop crotch, cotton linen blim shorts.

Because of the drop crotch, the arc, the leg arc was somewhat limited. Right. So not a problem when I was walking around at the weekend. What about when you were skateboarding with your dude pals? Well, again. And your drop crotch. No, no.

So I was obviously not skateboarding. But liming, very similar to skateboarding. You've got to push, don't you? You've got to switch up the hills. So it was at that moment yesterday, actually by work here, I just gave it a real big push to get over the road and I just heard this massive rip.

Like not just a little rip and that massive sound coincided with a large breeze around my genital area. Yes. And I looked down and I could see my thigh and a bulge from my underwear. And I was like, good lord. What was the bulge?

Did you shit yourself? Was it your penis? No, it was my yeah, my junk. Obviously my undies. Don't rate yourself. Bulge. You can't say bulge. Well, obviously it's not a mannequin. There's a little bulge. No, not little bulge.

That sounds pathetic. Even littler with the breeze. Because it was a chill factor. Yeah. Yeah. So famously it was like 26 degrees yesterday. And it's like lunchtime and there's so many people and I'm just like feeling this wind gust.

It's lunchtime and you're looking like a snack. At the crossing and I'm just like, oh my God, like I've ripped my shorts wide open.

So how big was the rip? Is it just crossed on? Like pretty much right up or everything's gone. It ripped down and across the leg at the seams.

So I mean, they could be, if you bring your banana in, we could probably fix these. Nah. I don't think so. They're gone, mate. They're gone.

That's only when a seam comes apart. Nah, we'll get some material on the back. Are we going to patch it up? I don't know. It was so expensive and I was like literally avoiding them three times and I'm just like, great. I was just looking for an alternative word instead of saying you looked down and you saw a bulge.

Yeah. What did I say? You looked down and you saw a. A mound. A protrusion. A mound. A lump. I saw a lump.

No, because that sounds medical. I looked down and I saw a lump. I looked down and saw a bump. That's probably about the same. Right. I looked down and saw a swelling. You can't, you actually can't say that at all. A jut.

A jut. Yes. So I looked down, I felt a breeze, and I saw a jut. It jutted out. It jutted out. Yeah. Yeah. But no, seriously, I had to like, I got back on the lime,

and I didn't do any more pushing, and I was just kind of like squeezing my thighs together on the lime just so that I would kind of close the pants. And I had to ride home like 10 minutes to home. I had to change my plans. Did you tuck the jut in before you squeezed your legs shut? I tucked the jut in. If people want to see, like, because this sounds exaggerated,

if you want to see how big this was, you can go to my Instagram story. It'll still be out from yesterday, FletchNZ. And you can see it. It's giant. It's two days. No, I stopped the filming. I stopped the filming before I got to the jut. Right. So you'll just see

thigh is the sexiest that it gets. Right. If you'd call it that. But yeah, huge, huge and it literally ripped. Like not a tiny tear, a rip. And I thought this morning, could we share some stories? Whoa! I know. You, like you didn't get arrested.

Well, it was lucky I was wearing undies too. Because sometimes I'll just freeble. Will you? To work. Well, yeah, if I haven't cleaned enough undies. Were you on your way home when this happened? Yeah. No, he just said he had to change his plans.

He was on the way to some social gathering. I was on my way home via a couple of things that I had to pick up. It was 19 hours ago. Yesterday he had a very busy day. Yeah, it was about 12.30. It was lunchtime rush. Suspicious. Why is it suspicious?

Jeez Louise. It was a big rip. But I thought, because I actually heard from people, people were messaging me saying I was actually like, because I live in the city so I was lucky I could just go home and change. But people were saying

they like bent over and their like whole pants ripped open and had to go and buy like emergency pants from like Helen Stein's. Oh, and emergency pants. You never wear

emergency pants again either. You seem to make a purchase of a rash purchase for emergency pants. Because you're just like, I need pants quick. So 0800-DARLS-AT-M give us a call

or text in 9696. When did you completely rip your pants open or have a wardrobe malfunction? Pants or I don't know. Blow apart your clothing. Yeah, when did you blow apart your clothing?

Because especially if you're at an event like I always, I reckon that's going to happen to me one day in a suit at a wedding because I'm always like tight in my suit

I'm going to sit down and you feel like stretched you're like ooh it's gonna blow yeah she's gonna blow especially after pudding

you're like ooh god stand back you'll see my jut 0800 dial ZM 9696 when did you blow your clothing open give us a call

ZM we're talking about when your clothes let you down this happened to Fletch yesterday in a pair of shorts ripped open like wide open you've seen the evidence Clothing open. Give us a call. ZM. We're talking about when your clients let you down. This happened to Fletch yesterday in a pair of shorts. Ripped open. Like wide open.

You've seen the evidence, Megan. Yeah. I didn't see any bulge though. Why? No, I told you I stopped before the jut. All right. Minimal jut. Minimal jut.

A bit of gooch on that. Well, no, just thigh. Thank you to the 93 thirsty people that just followed me. Oh, they're not thirsty. They're just inquisitive. They want to see the jut. Well, you told them you didn't get to see the jut. There's no jut. You're not seeing any jut.

So we want to talk about when your clothes let you down and ripped. Somebody said, first week of teaching placement at Boys High. Yeah. I was a 22-year-old female student teacher, tripped up the stairs and ripped my pants right across the back of the thigh. I had to borrow a spare uniform jumper from the Dean's office to wrap around my waist for the rest of the day. Absolutely mortified. If you were a teacher,

you'd always have a spare set of clothes in the car. Yeah, and that would be horrible. You'd get a new nickname too, and everyone would tease you. Yeah. Because kids are horrible. Shah, when did you... Definitely only children are horrible. when did you rip your clothes open um at the skating rink oh no were you doing like some kind of skating maneuver

yeah i went there with um as a family function yeah um and yeah i had one uh so i bought just a new pair of skinny jeans okay and um i think they were a bit too small, I think. A bit too skinny jeans. Yeah, a bit too skinny jeans. And they just ripped right open on the ice. Yeah, I had to use a jersey to cover myself up, and then I kind of left. That's the thing, because I didn't even have a jersey yesterday

to, like, wrap around. So you're lucky you had a jersey. Shah, thanks. You're cool. Karis, your husband ripped his pants open. Yeah, so we were at a wedding, and he'd bought this amazing, fairly expensive suit, and he gets on the shampoos and gets a bit loose on the D-floor,

and he went into the slut drop and, like, slid them from butthole to the top to make it completely wide open. Yeah. A well-fitting suit is tied around the buttocks. Yeah. You know, I've been to many a wedding where there's been a split pant. Yeah.

Hey, thanks. You're cool. Carolyn, you're a teacher. A student did this. Yes. A lovely young man. Oh, what happened? He was just trying to impress the ladies

that were still dancing. Yes, you do. Yeah. And unfortunately, one of his moves where he went a bit lower, he, yes, ripped out the back of his pants. And lucky for him, I used to be a dressmaker. Right. So we found a sewing machine in the art room,

took him away with another teacher. Yeah. And he just sort of went into a back room, used a towel to cover himself while I tried my best to mend his pants. Wow. That's the kind of trauma that would stay with you for life, eh? Like at school, splitting your pants open in front of everybody. Yeah.

He'll remember you forever. He will. He'll save you. Carolyn, thanks for your call. I'm a defence lawyer, reads this text message. Oh, your honour. Well, that's what they say. That's what they say, yeah.

I was in the middle of a very busy court, sat at the lawyer's table, and behind me there was a full gallery of the public. I was wearing a suit skirt. Okay. All of a sudden I felt very breezy. There'd been a full-blown zip explosion at the back. Oh, no. Oh, no. Somebody else had a rip-up very breezy. There'd been a full-blown zip explosion at the back. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Somebody else had a rip up the back of some pants at a wedding, and they felt like a cold breeze, and then they remembered they were wearing a thong or a G-string, as it's otherwise known, and there had been wild butt cheek exposure on the dance floor. Oh, my God. We were at Hamilton the Musical at the West End in London and my partner was stretching his legs and he felt a tear the whole

butt of his chinos had ripped. He had to wrap a coat around his waist for the remainder of the show. And get emergency pants on the way home. Yeah, lots of zippers giving way, lots of crotches ripping butts. That's the thing, it'll find the weakest point, won't it? And then it'll just get that weakest point

and just open from there. I'm a vet nurse and I squatted down to pick up a 35kg Basset Hound. I'm no vet nurse, but I think that's quite a fat Basset Hound, isn't it? That's a heavy dog. Because you're there like... They squat. Yeah. They're a little bit longer, but...

In front of a senior vet, completely ripped my scrub pants. He found it hilarious I had to reverse out of the room and run and get new pants. A few gym pants giving way as well. We have a lot of trust in them, don't we? Yes. The active wear. They're often double seamed. Are they? I've seen that written somewhere.

Someone said in a yoga class mid-stretch had a complete active wear blowout and was not wearing underpants underneath. What? You're going commando at yoga. You don't do gym shorts with commando. Someone had a commando rip in a spin class as well.

Exposed their entire anus situation to the rows of spin class behind them. I hope they wipe that seat for the next person. I think they should wipe the seat regardless of whether or not there's a panty seat. I think they should burn the seat, to be honest, and put a new one in. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the Day is about the Irish.

Okay. And today's Fact of the Day is also about cereal. Irish cereal. Okay, let's see if we can guess the link between the two that would be today's... Lucky charms. Fact of the Day, not lucky charms. Oh, I thought I had it. Not your lucky charms. Corn flakes. Yep I had it. Not your lucky charms. Corn flakes.

Yep. Potatoes. Corn flakes, kind of, yep. Ronan Keating. I'm out of Irish things. Oh, you too in Guinness. Nope. Ireland eats more cereal per head of population than any other country in the world.

Wow. They eat over 8 kgs of cereal per person per year. And if you think about how much cereal weighs. Yeah, that's a lot, eh? Yeah, that's a lot. Is it oats? People who don't eat cereal. Oats weighs a lot.

Oats are heavier. Yeah. But no, this was, somebody sent me this. Every now and then someone will send something in for Fact of the Day. And this comes from a Kellogg's marketing research guide and it's like a proper full-blown

company I don't even know how this ends up on the internet right but you know tackling their promotions

their distribution strategy and for all of their different ones as well like Special K Nutri-Grain Crunchy Nut etc etc cetera, et cetera.

And then they said, just search for the word Ireland. So I searched Ireland. And then, yeah, I found out that they, people in Ireland eat eight kgs of cereal per head of population. And that's more than any other country in the world. So much. Do you have any other kind of like normal amount? No.

They don't compare it to any other. Just the countries that Kellogg's is in that they surveyed, it was Ireland more than anybody. They consume 360,000 bowls of cornflakes every day in Ireland. Okay. It's 130 million bowls of cornflakes a year. So I found the top five, which doesn't include Ireland. UK, 6.8 kgs per person, annual consumption.

That's well below Ireland's age. I wonder if it includes, because you're not assuming it includes part of Ireland. Yeah, but then you've got Canada. It doesn't stipulate whether this is Northern Ireland or Ireland, Ireland. Canada does 4.8 kgs per person. Australia, 4.5. And the US, 4.2.

What was the top? What was the UK? 6.8 kgs. They're not as high as 8 kgs per head of population. This could be an old list, though. And Mexico does 2.4 kg per person. But then they've got breakfast burritos. My dad alone would eat enough cereal for to account for

my home-try family's average. He has 40 every day, eh? He mixes them up with this other like muesli situation because he said he goes through too much muesli

so he dulls it down with other cereal. Classic boomers making something stretch. Yeah, yeah. He basically said you know, it gets expensive so you've got to add some filler. Oh my God. It basically said, you know, it gets expensive,

so you've got to add some filler. Oh, my God. And I think cornflakes is his filler of choice. Wow. But today's fact of the day is Ireland eat more cereal per herd of population than any other country. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Female mice have shown far more likely than their male counterparts when stressed to binge eat on junk food. We didn't need mice to tell us that. But it's not attributed to female hormones. What? As even the female mice without the reproductive parts to produce the hormones. Right.

They did it as well. Did any of the men mice do it? Because if I'm stressed, sometimes I'll reach for some Maltesers or some Lollos. If you're feeling sensitive to like a mocha Friday. Some men do do it, but just on a whole, larger numbers by the female mice population. So if it's not from hormones, what is it? Just like we're a bit more emotional. Just if they believe the behaviour is driven

by one of the many secret facets of the female brain. And if you can work that complicated 3D maze out, then well done to you. Are you seeing the look that Megan is giving you right now, Vaughn? It's a very complicated situation. It's like a 3D underwater dark maze. And you're not allowed a breathing apparatus. Ask anyone out there who they'd rather spend any time with

and it would not be you, Vaughn Smith. It's a very complicated brain. No one knows what is happening up in there. It's very simple. Just feed him meat, barbecued meat. My brain's very simple. No one knows what is happening. It's very simple. Just feed him meat. Barbecued meat. He'll be very happy. I'll be very happy. Your actions defy explanation. That's true. I'll give you that.

It might be a confusing brain but just cheat. If it's a maze, just rub out one of the lines and take a shortcut through the brain. That's the easiest way to do it. I did that at that puzzle, puzzling world in Wanaka and I got told off to climb in the fence.

It's too long. You get lost and you can't get out. It's like, I've had enough of this, but I can't get out. That's what amazing is. Let me out. It was like that one in Rotorua we went to as well. Because I was tall enough, I could peek over the hedge. I was like, up on my tiptoes, I could peek over the hedge. I was like up on my tiptoes I could peek over the hedge.

And she's like, you're ruining the fun for yourself. I was like, no, I want to win. That's the most fun you can have. Don't give me the it's all about the fun on the field. It's about winning. That was five years ago. I hope her hedges have grown. It wasn't a very mazey maze, was it?

No, I think it probably has grown a little bit. ZM's Fletch Warner Megan, the podcast. I saw this video yesterday. Somebody I follow on Instagram shared it. It was pretty cute. Okay. And I'm not the only one that thinks so. It's had many views now.

Okay. The Rugby Roundup is the Instagram account that shared it. I don't know if these children belong to the Rugby Roundup or someone's sending the video or they're sharing a video but anyway the video features

two young fellas brothers by the looks of things. Now they're sitting at the kitchen servery and it looks like they're having breakfast. So one of them's

having cereal unless they're rocking a cereal for dinner unless like someone was just like CBF cooking tonight it's cereal for dinner. What's a kitchen servery?

I mean a kitchen bench. Like a bench servery? I mean, a kitchen bench. Like a bench. Why didn't you just say kitchen bench or a kitchen island? No, because it's a servery. It's more, it's, because I grew up where you caught a kitchen bench. One side was on the wall and one side was in the kitchen, but a servery is accessible from both sides. Or an island.

That's an island. That's a kitchen island. But it's not an island because it's connected to the bench. Well, that's just a kitchen bench or a breakfast bar. Breakfast bar. That's what's an island. That's a kitchen island. But it's not an island because it's connected to the bench. Well, that's just a kitchen bench or a breakfast bar. Breakfast bar. That's what you call it? It's a breakfast bar.

Don't get the kitchen servery. Yeah, servery. You've changed, Dave. They can reach from the kitchen into the art. You've got an electric gate and a right-on lawnmower and you're trying to be flash.

And you call it a kitchen servery. A servery. It's where I'm served my breakfast. Anyway, they are sitting there, these two young fellas, and they're having an argument about which one of them is which one of the Barrett brothers who play rugby. Bowden Barrett. Jordan Barrett.

Scott Barrett. Billy Barrett. Barry Barrett. Brett Barrett. Because there's like 10 of them. There's lots of them. There's lots of them. There's lots of them.

And a prolific family within the rugby community. So these are the two young fellas. Ones, I'd say, I don't know ages. I'm terrible with ages of kids. I'm guessing one looks like six. Yep. One of them looks about two or three. Okay.

You're a Scott Barrett. No. Okay. You're Scott Barrett. No, I'm Bowdoin Barrett. No, you're Scott Barrett. I'm Geordie Barrett. You're Scott Barrett. And Bodie is Bowdoin Barrett. Okay? No, I'm Bowdoin Barrett.

No, you're Scott Barrett. No, I'm Bowdoin Barrett. No, you're Scott Barrett. And I'm Geordie Barrett. And Bodie's Bowdoin Barrett. No, I'm Byron Barrett. No, you're Scott Barrett. And I'm Jodie Barrett. And Bodie's Bodham Barrett. Oh, my God. Okay? Got that?

Gosh. Bodham Barrett. You're Scott Barrett. I think we're gonna I will link this in our Instagram account because the little fella

who really wants to be Bowdoin Barrett he does this eye roll breathing that is wise beyond his years like I'm Bowdoin Barrett

as the final delivery that sounded exactly like how my brother and I would argue. We used to have those arguments, not about rugby players, but it was like Ninja Turtles, which Ninja Turtle we were. And then which Spice Girl. Yes. We still had those arguments.

Like, I'm Beyonce in Destiny's Child. And we all agree Fletcher's Michelle. Please, you're the Michelle. Who does that leave me as? Kelly. I'm happy with that Yeah good She had an illustrious

It used to be Michelle When she teamed up With David Guerta And you guys always say I'm Gunther as well When we're doing Who's friend's character are you? You're definitely

One that left the group And become the gospel singer That's definitely Yeah you're that girl That caught a quits On Destiny's Child A bit early You know I've always been

A terrible judge Of long term fame You know, I've always been a terrible judge of long-term fame. You know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You really jumped ship on that. Yeah. That's my situation.