ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 04 2018

Episode Date: December 3, 2018

The next round of Festive Film Fight, nicknames you don't like and what do you always bring to work?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I'd be so stoked if they brought back that bottle for cash. Oh, recyclers for cash. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I remember as a kid you'd go and collect the... Cash for cans. Yeah, cash for cans. Can you still do that? I don't know, actually. Was there some sort of aluminium shortage in the 90s? Because that... Yeah.

The cash for cans was legit. And they'd do it on weight so you'd have to squash them down yeah and then you'd fill a few with sand to make it

no how'd they get around that they didn't they did they ended up finding a way around that no they didn't they did because somebody at our school

filled the cans with stones and they got busted yeah but you've just got to be smart about it Vaughn right you're saying sand.

In the middle of your thing. You don't put them at the top. Well, this is why they stopped doing it. We can't do it immediately when they bring it back or we'll cost ourselves

some sweet pocket money. That's an awesome way to get an extra 50 cents or a dollar. You know how some back of the bottles it's like 10 cents refund if like returned an SA.

Oh, that's not fair. Is that South Africa or South Australia I think it's South Australia right but I've seen overseas some places have like you put a little bottle in

and you get like a discount off your public transport or you get a cashback voucher that's awesome yeah okay

who do we have to talk to just get it happening Jacinda talk to the Prime Minister get it happening get it happening get it happening. Jacinda, talk to the Prime Minister. Get it happening. Get it happening. Get it done. Somebody do it.

Before seven on the show this morning, your chance to win cash. We've got a giant bingo barrel full of Lego blocks. We spin that around. We pull out three Lego blocks. They've all got a little code written on them. That code corresponds to a prize. So either cash or Lego sets.

We've even got, I believe, a Millennium Falcon in here. Yes, the $1,500 Millennium Falcon. All right, so listen up for the activator. It's coming up before seven. The top six is on the way as well. Yeah, today's top six. The top six ways to cool the Earth's temperature without going into this crazy idea that Bill Gates has got.

Basically simulating a giant volcanic eruption to cool the Earth's temperature. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. Three news headlines for three stories

that are found online. Interesting, quirky, unusual news stories. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following headlines out of the following three. Something like that. I'm blaming that vegan biscuit.

I had a vegan biscuit. It's like just me having a coughing fit. That was a yum vegan biscuit. It was a yum vegan biscuit. You take back everything you said about vegans. Oh, no, no, no, no. That stands. But they do do yummy treats.

Because they're still about sugar, right? Raw slices and stuff are pretty good. Okay, headline one. LP defence works for 61-year-old. LP defence? Yeah. Headline two, waste of Oreos. And headline three, force not with Luke Skywalker.

Oh, we have to have three, don't we? Yeah. You don't have to do anything at all, Megan. I want the waste of Oreos. Because I quite like Oreos. Hmm. How'd they waste them? What?

Yeah, go ahead, because I'm just going to Google the Luke Skywalker one. Oh, Luke Skywalker gets arrested. A guy named Luke Skywalker's been arrested. His mugshot's gone up. Yeah. Luke. His name's Luke Walker. His mugshot's gone up. Yeah. Luke. His name's Luke Walker. His middle name's Sky.

That's pretty good. You would go away. You would, eh? You'd be like, Luke, let's call him Luke. Mark Hamill, who played Luke Skywalker, even tweeted about it, saying the arrest was out of this world. Of course he did.

Okay, so you want Waste of Oreos or LP Defence Works for 61-year-old? Oreos. Oh, yeah, Oreos. Okay. All right. Just loading the story now. We go now to...

It's on the New York... Illinois in a place called Byron. I think the East is silent. Illinois. Illinois. I say Illinois. Every time. I always say Illinois.

Ten football players at a northern high school there have been suspended for three games after they ran across the field with Oreo cookies wedged between their buttocks. Good.

Good butt control. They have been... I know, right? Like, could you do that I've eaten The only biscuit we had That living was huge That was a bagel It was like a bagel

You'd have to have Gaping cheeks To hold that big Biscuity looking thing In there So they were suspended For indecent exposure The school administrators

Concluded that they went On the Oreo run At the school's football field voluntarily and were not victims of hazing. So they were worried that it could have been, you know, hazing's been quite big, you know, ritual. Yeah, right. And is it the start of the

school year, right? I'd say so, yeah. Because they've just had their summer break. Oh, no. No, because it just happened recently. Yeah, well into winter. Probably a cold winter thing. Yeah, so apparently this has gone viral because they sent a letter to the parents. It's the Oreo run, but he's saying it like it's nothing. He's like, oh, they were just doing the Oreo run. Is this a vibe?

Well, apparently it might be a thing. Must be a thing. Okay. I don't know. How many Oreos? They're quite a small biscuit, to be honest. Yeah, like I could put one in my cheeks. You could be able to wedge that in a cheek.

But was it just one or did they put lots? Well, it doesn't say, Megan. That's all I've read out is all the story. Because I could do one, I'm sure. The Oreo run. I'm just saying if this is actually like a thing. Urban Dictionary, Oreo races. Go on.

A naked sprint during which participants must race a predetermined distance with an Oreo stuffed between their arse checks. So just one. Go on. So just one. The loser of the race has to eat the Oreos. I knew there was a reason. I knew there'd be a reason. If you don't come first or you drop it, you have to eat it. Yuck. Gross.

See, that's one thing, to be able to run with one and not let it fall out, but to get some speed on. Yeah. Well, because the biscuit, if it got warm, would start sliding, wouldn't it? And the cream would, like, squish around. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Ooh. Grim. That's nasty. Yeah, it is. But rather than a sprint, imagine a bit of medium distance where you really get a good sweat on with an Oreo run. Grim. Hey, people are neat, hey? What's wrong with us?

People are great, hey? Like, good thinking. Like, some people live in a country where- Yeah, I would have done this at school. Yeah. You totally would have. No, I don't mess with biscuits. I drew the line at the time. I don't mess with biscuits. I drew the line at the time.

I don't mess with biscuits. I respect biscuits. I'm damn right I respect biscuits. They're too delicious to deserve that. FM. Air New Zealand have said they're going to be putting free Wi-Fi, well, they're going to be allowing the Wi-Fi to be accessed for free from now until February 28th.

Don't know why I went so... 28th. 28th. Right. So, I mean, if you've ever used free Wi-Fi, you can already see the problem on this one, let alone the fact that it's going to be on a Boeing 777. What's the problem?

Flying. Oh, everyone using it. I've never been on a plane where Wi-Fi has been amazing. No. Like, I think Emirates have it free for the first... Is it 500 megs if you're in economy? And then that's it. Like, I think Emirates have it free for the first, is it 500 megs? If you're in economy and then that's it. Like, you've got to pay.

And then even when you pay, it's like rubbish. Yeah. Because I did it because I was bored and I was like, well, I regret this, whatever it cost. You're trying to do Instagram and it's just like, can't refresh feed. Yeah. But I paid for it.

I'm just like, ah. I'm trying to upload a photo of the wing. Apparently, the Wi-Fi can get 20 megabits per second downloads and 5 megabits up, which is pretty good. But people are saying if it's free for everybody.

Only if half of the people are on there, then, you know, like 160 people are going to be on one internet, you know? Yeah, right.

The garden hose analogy still applies to the internet, eh? I think so, yeah. Yeah. You're only going to get a drop instead of a big whooshy-whooshy. Yeah, so even if it's a big hose, then everybody, you know, takes a run off the hose. The pressure's going to drop right down. So normally what they're going to do,

I'm just looking at what they'll charge normally. Would you pay this? So if you were going to Australia or the Pacific Islands, $30. For what? For a full flight of Wi-Fi internet. But, nah. Nah. Because what do you need it for?

Or $40 to North America. So if you were going on a 12, 13, 14 hour flight, would you pay $40? Nah. No, because you just download shows to watch. Before you go. Yeah. I kind of like that you have a little bit of time where you just download shows to watch. Before you go. Yeah. I kind of like that you have a little bit of time where you're not on your phone.

Yeah. I mean, I guess if you were doing business, I don't know. How sweet would it be getting on, like, dating app? Yeah, but you've got to hope that someone else on the plane. Yeah, you'd have to spread your radius real wide too because you're going at, like, 900 k's an hour. Well, no, you'd be flying over, like, you'd get everyone when you're flying over Fiji.

You'd be like, well, are you on the plane or are you on the plane? No, you'd be like, you're three kilometres away, you're seven kilometres away, 12 kilometres away. Okay, you're gone.

Yeah, because by the time you refreshed, you'd be like 100 metres, you know, a couple of k's away each time. Yeah. You didn't think about that. Yeah.

Let alone all like the dolphins and stuff that you get when you're just over the ocean. Does it say like, if you're sitting right next to them, would it be, like, one metre away? Does it get that close? I don't know. On the ground, yeah. No, but, like, if they're sitting beside you on the plane, would it be, like, one?

No, the planes are mysterious. I don't know, because it's moving so quick. Yeah. It would ping. Right. And it would say 15 metres, and then it would it would just be like 500 metres in no time. You know what I mean? Okay.

Look, I don't know how dating apps work. Full stop, let alone on a plane. I'm sure there's some flight attendants on Grindr we could ask. Yeah. I'm sure. It's like, yeah, bing, someone's down in the galley. Down the back. Goodness me. No, let's not open the can of worms of dating on planes.

You'd never get into the toilet. All right, top six is next. The top six ways to cool the earth without simulating a volcanic eruption. This is a plan that Bill Gates has got. He's backing it. He's got the money. Does he have the smarts to back this? Well, everybody's saying he's a really smart man

but let's not forget Windows NT. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there and welcome to The Top Six. There's a plan looking into bringing the Earth's temperature back down a little bit

as the average temperatures go up and it causes bigger storms and people are like, but snowfall. But then that's all a result of too much energy in the atmosphere. Basically, global warming. Yeah. How to stop it? Well, there's a plan, and Bill Gates is behind this plan, to copy the effects of a huge volcanic eruption

to block the sun's rays from entering the atmosphere. Basically, when the dinosaurs were wiped out, this comet hit with such force, it blew dust up into the atmosphere super high and it blocked the sun and an ice age happened. So if the sun can't get in... Is that how the dinosaurs died? Yeah.

Not generally from the impact. A lot from the impact. Right. They just got so cold they were like... That's why mammals survived. Like the cheeky little ratty things because they had coats and they could stay a little bit warmer. Right. So this is a study funded by Bill Gates says that this volcanic eruption to block the sun's rays could work.

God. Very dangerous. See, I don't know about that. Tiny chalk particles will be sprayed into the atmosphere, but not just like in your face, like extremely high, and then they'll reflect a portion of the sun's rays back out into space. But how do they get, do they get it up on a rocket?

I'm imagining it'll be a rocket. Yeah. Okay. Like big fireworks. I hope they just don't go up in a hot air balloon with talcum powder and just... That won't work. It sounds so funny.

It does, right? Yeah. It does, but Bill Gates is convinced. Okay. No, but it's not really his field, though. Like computers, I trust him most of the time. Malaria, wiping malaria out, he's pretty good at that. Yeah.

But so, also, can you tell us when they're doing this? Because I don't want to book a summer holiday. Oh, yeah. And not be able to get a tan, you know? Where should they... I think they should focus over the areas that are already pretty cold. Yeah. Like Antarctica and stuff.

Yeah. So the top six ways to cool the Earth's temperature without using this crazy idea. Number six. Everyone just leave their freezers open. It'll count towards it or turn the air con on as cold as it'll go and leave the door open. Okay, we could have a world freezer day. Yeah, and everyone just tries to make it as cold as they can.

I like it. Number five on the list of the top six ways to cool the Earth's temperature without this crazy idea. Blow air out, but do it through a small gap in your mouth, not a big one. Because when you go, warm. I did this the other day and I was like, isn't this crazy? Everyone's like, yeah, cool.

Yeah, yeah. It's hot and then it's cold. That's magic, eh? No, it's still hot. It is still hot. Even if you huff it out with force. Well, yeah, but it's cooler. It's not until it gets real small that it gets cold too.

Mm. Huff it out with force. Well, yeah, but it's cooler. It's not until it gets real small that it gets cold too. It is madness. Mind blowing. Sit it with a speed, eh? What's that, mate? Too hot. Number four on the list of the top six ways to cool the Earth's temperature without this crazy volcano idea. Give the Earth a shade sail.

We had in summer, the deck used to get real hot, and we bought a shade sail. We had in summer, the deck used to get real hot and we bought a shade sail and you could just sit under it so comfortably. Yeah. And the deck didn't get too hot to stand on.

But like spinneys and then run like Earth size Royal spinneys. And what do you, like anchor it to? Yeah, it's going to have to be a Royal tall beam. Maybe there'll be

a Boxing Day sail. Yeah, that's a good idea actually. We can just link a whole lot of them together. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways to cool the Earth's temperature without this volcano idea. Melt the ice caps. Stay with me. Okay.

When you put ice in your drink, it melts and your drink becomes... Colder. Bingo. It also overflows. The glass. Earth can't overflow. Yeah, and then if you leave it for ages, it just gets warm again. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I'm just doing a short turn here. Oh, okay. Okay. Get it down, and then it all turns to ice. And then we start again? Okay. Number two on the list of the top six ways to cool the Earth's temperature

without this crazy volcano idea. Take off some of the Earth's clothes. What's covering the Earth? Forests. Forests are the Earth's jacket, and it's time to take off the jacket. I'm sorry, forests. It's time to go. You're sounding more like Donald Trump as this list goes on.

That's science, baby. That's science. And the number one in today's top six ways to cool the Earth without this volcano idea move us further away from the sun you ever sat in front of a fire

you get too hot what do you do move away move back a little bit yeah so we just pick ourselves up and shimmy over or just rockets

okay just build like a massive rocket on one side of the earth facing into the earth and then just turn it on and it just pushes us away okay I like that idea

I can't see anything going wrong with that and then just turn it on and it just pushes us away. Okay. I like that idea. I can't see anything going wrong with that. And then put a rocket on the exact opposite side so if we overshoot it, we can back. Sure. I think it'll work. That is today's top six. So here in New Zealand, Countdown has stopped bringing plastic bags. You have to take your reusable bags to the supermarket.

Is there any other supermarket that... Some of them have. Because I can say you have to buy your plastic bags, but they're still there, right? And New World are saying they're doing... They're phasing it out by January, I think. Yeah. So in Australia, Woolworths and Coles have done the same. So Woolworths is just like, I'm down, right?

Yeah. In Aussie. Three months ago, they banned plastic bags, brought in reusable bags, only three months ago. So since then, it's been estimated that they have stopped 1.5 billion bags from entering the environment. That's pretty crazy. Because I'm looking at the Wikipedia page,

phase out of lightweight plastic bags in Australia. Now, South Australia, the Northern Territory, ACT, Queensland, and Western Australia have banned them. Victoria is going to ban them. New South Wales, no ban. Really? So those are the supermarkets that have chosen to stop using them, but there's no ban for them in New South Wales.

The rest of Australia has kind of signed on to it. I mean, South Australia banned lightweight plastic bags in 2009. Wow. They began to phase them out. Queensland and Western Australia did it this year in July. Victoria is doing it next year. I would have thought Victoria would have been sooner. I feel like they're a bit more hipster.

They've probably got like hemp bags anyway, like in their little leather satchels already. And then New South Wales, no plans. You get into the habit, it was hard at first because all my supermarkets ban bags. Do you know? You just get into the habit of taking your bag and reusables. And like I just leave the bags in the boot

and wheel the trolley to the boot and then pack the bags at the boot. I feel like that's easier. Do you take the trolley back to the trolley bay? Of course. Or do you just leave it in the car park next to you?

No, I always take it back to the trolley bay. I just go, and shove it. See how far it'll roll? And it goes, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, all the way home.

To where? Trolley bay. Oh, and the trolley bay though. No. I'm just a very good shot with a trolley. And next time you drive into the supermarket. When you came out at the weekend, God, the line was very long.

All four wheels turn. So you can go drifting. That's pretty fun. Oh yeah, that's cool. But then when you like want to push it in a straight line, it's like, no, I'm going to go sort of on an angle sideways here. Because normally it's the back wheels are straight on trolleys and it's the front ones that move.

Front wheels turn. But Kmart's got four moving wheels. Kmart has all four trolley wheels move. Revolutionary. Yeah, and you think it's cool. It is for like real tight turns. Yeah. But when you just want to go straight, you're a wibbly wobbly.

You're all over the shop. And you definitely can't just like fling it into the trolley bay. No, you can't take a long shot at the trolley bay. Which you shouldn't be doing anyway. Took a long shot at the trolley bay at our new supermarket because we moved. Right. New supermarket the other day and I pushed it and I pushed it and I was like, oh my gosh, I haven't accounted for the cars.

And it was heading right towards this like black BMW SUV. I was like, yikes. And I ran and grabbed it because at our old one, you just like had to trade his plumbing van or something. They don't care. They had heaps of scrapes anyway. Or it'll hit those bumper bars that they always put their boots on. Yeah, yeah.

You know, on the back of a trailer, on a plumber's van, they always put their boots upside down on those little bumper bars. Yeah, you'd hit that. That'd be fine. Yeah. 60 to 80% of us are doing this, and we should stop it because it's not helpful. Okay.

It is lying to our doctor. But doctors know, right? It's like lying to the dentist. No, but do they? Because they ask you because they need to, like, assess the situation and know how healthy you are. I don't think I've ever lied. What?

To the doctor. I don't know. No, I don't think. Or no, but embellishing counts as lying. Because you know how they're like, do you smoke? And some people will be like, no. No, never. And then they have a cheeky-sicky every time they're drinking.

But then that's not, I've never told that lie. I straight up to the doctor and say, how often do you drink? And I say, oh, like I have one a night at least. And then they have a cheeky-sicky every time they're drinking. But then that's not, I've never told that lie. I straight up to the doctors, like, how often do you drink? And I say, oh, like, I have one a night at least. And they're like, okay. Do you say that? Yeah, but he's like, oh, do you binge drink? I'm like, nah.

And he's like, oh, okay. That's fine. Like, you know, I don't know. Well, that's another one that people lie about. So the smoking, how much you drink. So they're like, yeah, how much are you drinking what you eat like what's your diet like

you're like I'm really healthy I cook all the time but then he's poking your guts at the same time I eat real healthy he's like

extra five kgs come from in the last couple of months and the other one is how often you exercise as well you're like

I totally exercise like five times a week every week. Again, I feel like your body's like saying one thing and you're saying the other thing. They know. But you too are claiming you never lie. Well, I can't think of a time when I have because if I'm there and I'm sick, I'd rather say the truth.

It's like the police. Can't lie to the police or the doctors. I don't know. If you're paying for a doctor to tell you what's wrong with you, you can't feed them misinformation. It's like the police. Can't lie to the police or the doctors. I don't know. If you're paying for a doctor to tell what's wrong with you, you can't feed them misinformation. It's not like a test. It's like, how often do you drink? Well, why don't you tell me?

There's judgment there as well. I always take it as a wake-up call. When is it how often do you exercise? And you're like, oh, maybe not as much as I should. It's like, okay. No, I definitely, you'd be like um like five times a week every week is how much i use size i eat really healthy like i never eat takeaways but then you don't tell them that you cook like naughty food at home yeah no i i never have takeaways i eat entire cakes but i

make them myself um producers you ever lie ever lie to the doctor yeah all the time well my doctor used to be where my mum was the nurse at the medical centre. And so they'd be like, how much do you drink? And I'm like, oh, like maybe three glasses. A year?

A month. A quarter day? They're like, do you binge drink? I'm like, absolutely not. I drink like five times a week at the moment. Yeah, I only drink

five times a week. Like multiple drinks. Five times. But like, don't judge me. I'm 28. I'm living my best life. Yeah, I only drink five times a week. Like, multiple drinks. Five times. But like, don't judge me. I'm 28. I'm living my best life. Yeah, you're like, I drink like, you know,

three or four, and he's like, that's not enough water. And you're like, oh, that was what I drink. Wine. And he's like, oh, okay,

there's plenty of that. I do drink lots of water though just to combat it. So I'm quite healthy. Okay, man. Sounds like a good plan. No, I drink, yeah. Okay, man. Sounds like a good plan. No, I drink, yeah. Well, I've been injecting heroin for a while,

but you know what they say. For every time you shoot up some heroin, you drink a liter of water and you'll be... Actually, that's another one of the lies. It's like when they say, do you do recreational drugs? Pretty much no one says yes. No?

Because it feels like a trap. Like a trap. Yeah. Are the police outside? I mean mean the drugs Could be destroying your liver And the doctor would really Like to know

So he could treat that But you know No big deal He's like Oh you're so really healthy I have no idea Why your health is failing Just a little fib here and there

Yeah When I went on school camp I didn't have Cell phones didn't exist Shit you're old Yes they do They didn't exist. Shit, you're old. They didn't exist for you either. Nah, when I was like intermediate. Oh, right, yeah. But high school, if you're rich

you might have had like an Alcatel or a Nokia. Like, you know the old brick ones? Yeah, yeah. But once I had an Alcatel, I never had a camp. I was getting taught. Oh, right, okay. Why didn't you do a 7-form camp? Or like a year 13 camp? No

Did you? Yeah We went away at the start of the year And they told us about our responsibilities Of seniors at the school And we did the team leader training Oh no we didn't do that Fire a bow and arrow

I just fired I was just like Right into the sky They're like let's not do any of that Let's see previous speech about responsibilities of being a senior student. Fatang! Well, it's actually Taranaki, Fletcher's home region,

that is leading the charge on this. Kids in high school who are going on school camp, while they are allowed to take their cell phones, they're not allowed to take photos. Is this a certain school? Why aren't they allowed to take photos? Harwooder're not allowed to take photos. Is this a certain school? Why aren't they allowed to take photos? Harwood High School. Okay.

They've been forbidden to take photos and selfies on their cell phones so that they can enjoy camp properly. Okay. Rather than sitting there taking selfies of everything. Does it say where they're going on camp? Is it going to be cell phone reception? No, I don't think it says. But they are instead.

You want photos, like you climb a mountain or something? Instead, they're hiring a photographer to take the photos for you. But the trouble is, it's like the olden days. You pose for a photo and then you don't know. Everyone's going to be like, show me, show me. No, take another one. And the photographer's going to be like, no, it's fine, it's fine. And then you get it and you're like Look you look fine To everybody else But to yourself

You're like So I'm always the one Blinking in the group shot Yeah You've got to check these things Yeah I want a like cool gram Of me up on the high rope

And you know when you're Selfieing you can turn your head Till you find it's skinniest angle Yes Amen Yeah Don't want it exactly front on And he's not going to take

A high angle is he Hello This is like when Fletch uploaded that photo from... What was that? Was that a bottomless brunch? Yeah. Was it Maddie McLean's birthday?

Yeah, it was. And you looked fine, but literally everybody else in the photo looked terrible. Yeah, good. Caitlin's eyes were half shut. Somebody had their eyes closed. Yeah. They looked drunken. I personally didn't think they looked that bad, but yeah.

That's going to happen with this as well, because the professional photographer will take a picture, and while your friend might look real pretty or whatever, you won't. But remember the days of taking a photo and not having someone say, can I have a look, show me that one? Well, you couldn't. It was nuts. Not on film, yeah, not on film cameras.

And then you get it back and you're like, they are all terrible. Half of them are out of focus. And I had to pay like 20 bucks for that. Oh. Yeah, my mum. Was that cheap or not? No, no, that's why I just remember my mum being like, another one? When you'd finish a roll of film.

Well, no, you're not getting that developed this month. Stop taking so many photos. Man, paying for photos. Cute. I know, rules, rules, Kit. You can still pay for them, but they're so cheap now. You just take them on a USB stick and print them out. Yeah, true. Cute. I know, rules. Rules, cute. You can still pay for them but they're so cheap now. You just take them on a USB stick

and print them out. Yeah, true. Yeah. And does everybody have like photos and they're like, I must print these out. Oh, mum's always going

on about that. Yeah, I must print them out. What do you do with them? Like people used to have photo albums. Yeah. Weird, eh? Just flick through them

if you got bored. And like, do you show people and they're like, oh, I'm so interested in this. Weird, eh? Just flick through them if you got bored. And like, do you show people and they're like, oh, I'm so interested in this. You know what? When we were moving, I found this massive box of Sade's photos from when she was like younger

and there was this photo of them all at school and I recognised everybody in the photo apart from one person. And I was like, who's that? How do I find out? Because on Facebook you'd like click on it and it would say who it was because they would have tagged them.

I was like, who's that? I'm going to have to ask somebody. And I said to her, who's this? And she looked at it and she's like, I don't know. How do we find out? I was like, I don't know. You tell me. Double click on it or like view tags.

You're like, ah. No, mum and dad used to write on the back, left to right. Oh, really? Yeah. Nana used to always tell us to write the dates on. Yeah. So cute. It's forgotten times, guys. Oh, good old days.

FEM. I was scared of hedgehogs as a kid. I don't know. I don't know. I think it's because they were prickly and I figured that it wasn't because it's purely defensed the prickles. But I figured it might have been a know. I don't know. I think it's because they were prickly and I figured that it wasn't because it's purely defensed the prickles, but I figured it might have been attack. I think because of playing Sonic the Hedgehog, he'd drop to the ground and spin

and then like... Shoot quills at you. And just like crash through the enemies. Yeah, right. I was like, oh, they're aggressive, but they're not. And they're actually pretty darn cute when you see their silly little faces.

I always like feed them milk and bread, but you're not supposed to do that, eh? No, that'd kill them. Cat food, right? Cat meat. Is it? I think so. Yeah. Why would that feed them milk and bread that you're not supposed to do that, eh? No, that'd kill them. Cat food, right? Cat meat. Is it? I think so. Okay.

I think they eat cat, because they eat bugs and all sorts of things. Yeah. Right. So, uh, hedgehogs are pretty neat. And in Christchurch, there's the crazy hedgehog lady. Don't call it, oh.

Self-named. I would never, I would never, but self-named in her Facebook page is crazy hedgehog Lady Christchurch. I was alerted to the fact that- Wait, like a fan page? No, no, no. It's to let everybody know about the hedgehogs.

And so if people find an injured hedgehog, they go to the Facebook page and they're like, I found some hedgehogs. Because what if it's really flat though? On the road. Really flat. It's beyond her help. She can't do anything about that? No, no, no. She's not a magician. She's beyond her help. She can't do anything about that? No, no, no. Fletch?

She's not a magician. She's not a magician. You're a dick. That's how you see them most of the time. They're real flat. So there's some hedgehogs came in recently. I think they were like, what is it when there's four of them? Quads.

I don't know how many are generally, I don't know a lot about hedgehogs, but in a hedgehog litter, I wouldn't have thought there would have been that many. And also, poor hedgehog vagina on the way out. Don't they grow them, the spikes? They don't come out with spikes. No, these are like real, like super teeny tiny. Huh. And they've already got like quite long spikes on them.

Do they come out bald and grow the spikes? They don't come out with spikes. She's got 900 likes on her page. Oh my God, they're so cute. So there's four hedgehogs on November 30th. So we're talking... Pause. Hang on, I'm going to tell you.

I think they come out with the spikes are like a bit fluffier. But the quills, they must come out like, you know, like a standard birth is head first when they're human. They must come out head first because if a hedgehog was coming out breech, it would just be like a gap. If I was a hedgehog in labour,

I'd probably ask for a C-section. Just cut them out of my head. Yeah. So four baby hedgehogs came in on November 30th and she called them Fletch, Vaughan, Megan and Stretch. Okay. I think Stretch because it rhymes with Fletch. That.

Okay. And then there's videos of the four little hedgehogs. Cute little pictures of the cute little hedgehogs that look, if you've never seen a baby hedgehog, pretty cute. Yeah. And then like videos of the little hedgehogs scurrying around and being fed with like tiny little milk bottles with little tiny little nipples on it. It's so good of her to do this because I know no one else would care

about the little hedgehogs. I know. They are pretty cute. Well on December 1st at 4.47pm. When was that? Saturday. Yeah there was a post. Sadly I have to say that in the past 45 minutes Megan has passed away. She was eating well. I didn't mean to lie. She was eating well. I'm sad, obviously. But I need to focus on the remaining boys.

So Fletch, Fawn and Stretch. What happened to me? I was eating well. Did she overeat? Well, between 6.30 and 7.45 on December 1st, so the same day David, Stretch died. Oh my God.

Everything is now crossed for the survival of Fletch and Vaughn. Oh my goodness. We can't die. I know. We're vital to the hedgehog population. So on December 2nd, she takes a break, gets out into the world and goes to the calendar club. You know, they set that up in the mall and found a hedgehog calendar and said, no, I didn't buy it.

But I think, can we buy the hedgehog lady the hedgehog calendar? That seems like a great gift. What are you gritting your teeth for, Caitlin? Have we blown the budget? So we didn't do November this year because of our other budget. We don't have budget to buy a calendar for the lady? Bourne, you know this. Let's't have budget to buy a calendar for the lady. You know this. Let's get her a Hedgehog a Day calendar.

She'll be so stoked. Every day she'll wake up, pull it over, there's another Hedgehog. I'm so glad I don't look ahead. Why don't you make one, personally? I don't have the time. But that would be so nice. Hedgehog a Day! They all look the same.

I know, they're doing a range of different things. Look at the today. Yeah. They all look the same. Oh, no. They're doing a range of different things. Like, look at the hedgehog on the front of this calendar. It's looking at a toothpick holder that's a hedgehog. And it's like, mother? That's pretty cute. So, anyway, that was a bit of a light relief from what's been a fairly tumultuous time in the crazy hedgehog lady's life.

And then we've got a further update. Oh, she actually rescued another couple of hedgehogs. One was found treading water. Oh, okay. Goodness. So it's still alive. December 2nd, 8.41pm. Fletch and Vaughn are both doing well.

Both have gained weight. Vaughn is a wee fatty. And Fletch is a bit stubborn. She's really named these well. Yeah. And 17 hours ago, it's going to be a race. Who will get their eyes open first, Fletch or Vaughn? Have we not even opened our eyes to see the world?

Because she's put, like, colour on the quills so she can tell which one's which, right? Yeah. Which one am I? Am I red or yellow? Yellow. I don't know. Oh, I wish it had gone blue because I'm more of a blue,

but that's all right. She didn't know. Yeah. She wasn't to know. That's great. Well, let's certainly keep the world updated with this. I'm certainly following with bated breath as to what happens. Who opens their eyes first?

Who survives? I'm still devoted. Do we need a home? Do they need a home? Vaughn the Hedgehog is ultra snuffly. Like you're like... Snuffling around for bugs and brubs and the like. Oh, he's going to be out there collecting rings

and trying to defeat Dr. Robotnik in no time. Well, we are looking for the best Christmas movie. Yeah. Like we have done with Food Fight in the past. Yeah. Our favourite junk foods. Yeah.

We're turning our attention to Christmas movies. And once again, it started with us arguing. Over what our favourite was. Yeah. As all good things do. Yeah. So yesterday, it was the film v. film that got this argument all started. We decided to start with a big battle and put Love Actually up against Elf,

the Will Ferrell, I would say, crucially Christmas movie, whereas Love Actually could probably happen at any time of the year. No. See, I like Elf, but it's Love Actually is the Christmas movie. Right. Well, the nation agreed. Yes. Well, the nation agreed. Yes. Wow, the people that follow our Instagram account.

That means Elf is out. Elf's gone. I cannot believe that. Yeah. 65% said Love Actually, 35% said Elf. Oh, that's like, that's quite a beating, isn't it? It is quite a beating. It is quite a beating.

I think if they hadn't gone up against each other in the first round, that could have been a final. Yeah, totally could have been a final. It could have been a final. So in today's battle, let's talk about this. Again, a seminal Christmas classic. Yep. Die Hard.

It's not a Christmas movie. It happens at Christmas time. He's going to see his wife for Christmas. They've been having problems. Yeah, but you said, you complained that love actually could happen at any time of the year. This could happen at any time of the year.

No, he's snowed in. He's going to see his wife for Christmas. Yeah, that's what happens in love actually. That's what happens in Die Hard 2 as well. It was a bit of a shame when Die Hard 3 broke from tradition of being Christmas time. Bruce Willis himself said it's not a Christmas movie. Shut up, Bruce Willis.

He doesn't know anymore. Bruce is losing his mind. Can we get Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play Bruce Willis himself said it's not a Christmas movie. Shut up, Bruce Willis. He doesn't know anymore. Bruce is losing his mind. Can we get Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play Bruce Willis from now on, please? So, 40 stories of sheer adventure was Die Hard's tagline. So good. Versus the Polar Express. Never seen it. I know Tom Hanks is in it.

He's the conductor and the kid catches the Polar Express to the North Pole, right? Which is stupid because there are no train tracks there. And if there were, they'd be built on ice. And with global warming the way it's going, they'd be sagging. Magical. Oh, yeah. It's a magical train. And I remember at the time it was touted as being like revolutionary CGI.

But now it looks rubbish, doesn't it? Was it motion capture of Tom Hanks' face to make the face look... Maybe. Well, it's the Polar Express versus Die Hard. I'm just casting... Oh, for crying out loud. Are you kidding me? I just cast my vote. I've never seen the Polar Express, but I voted for that over Die Hard. Again! Because at least

it's a Christmas movie. Has anybody seen the Polar Express out there? Oh, in Ternania? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's right. It's all right. It's not dying hard. It's always on TV quite close to Christmas,

and that's the mark of an important Christmas movie when it's close to the actual day. Yeah, I haven't seen it in years, but there weren't many words for memory. Oh, right. What do you mean not many words? Like, no dialogue? Oh, I feel I'm going to get texts in berating me for this,

but I don't remember there being much chatter, which I think is kind of... You can't pay Tom Hanks to be in a movie and not have much Tom Hanks chatter. You've got to have Tom Hanks chatter. Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong movie. Light on chatter. No, I just remember it being a mute.

I'm thinking of a 1930s silent film and their words flash up on the screen after they've moved their mouth. I might need to do some go-blow. You look into it. So The Polar Express versus Die Hard. At the moment 60% for The Polar Express, 40% for Die Hard.

When you think about it though, that Die Hard movie is old. It's ancient. Is it late 80s? Yeah, yeah. I feel like it was late 80s. What was the tower it was in? The Yakitori? No, that's the Japanese restaurant.

1988. Wow. That's how old that movie is. Wow. Okay. I wasn't even born. I was. I was just little.

That's madness. The Nakatomi Tower. The Nakatomi Tower. The Nakatomi Plaza. Okay. Yeah, that's what the building's called. Okay. It's actually the Fox Plaza in real life. You can vote on our Instagram, FVMZM,

as we search for New Zealand's favourite Christmas film. Coming up on the show, we've got a clue from Santa next. We're going to hide a prezzy thanks to Sparks. Somewhere around the country, a Nokia 7.1 smartphone was $600. And $400 cash, you've just got to be the first to find it. And you can win. We'll give you the clue next. Coming up in Spy, Kensington Palace has something to say about the Megan and Kate feud.

And people are texting and saying, has Anya even seen the Polar Express? There's heaps of dialogue. And Tom Hanks plays like 40% of the characters. What? Yeah. Did you just say you had the volume down? Were you trying to be cool in front of your friends saying you've seen the latest films?

In front of you lot? Absolutely not. Don't lie to be cool in front of your friends. If they're your real friends, they'll like you regardless of whether or not you've seen any movies. Okay, one. Yeah, me. in front of your friends. If they're your real friends, they'll like you regardless of whether or not you've seen any movies. We'll keep on. Yeah, man. A New Zealander has made headlines in Australia

because she's tried to sue her Australian boss for racial discrimination. Now, racial discrimination in the workplace is terrible. There's no time for it in 2018. However, this New Zealander, Julie, was being called Kiwi. What? And apparently her boss, Villy, who was the director of Villy's,

and owner by the sounds of things, called her Kiwi all the time while she was working at the bakery where she was a supervisor. Right. He would refer to her as Kiwi whenever he talked to her. But we are. We refer to ourselves as that. That's like if we had an Aussie working here,

we'd be like, hey, Aussie. Yeah. Or something. Yeah, you would. Aussie. Aussie. Yeah. Call people by the country that they're from is not an insult, right?

Unless you're insulted to be ashamed to be from that country. If you're calling someone a country that they're not from, I could see that could be an issue, perhaps. But we're Kiwis. But we are Kiwis. Yeah. And the courts chucked it out. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, no, there's not. She said it was discrimination and disrespectful. Was it always, was it like prefaced with any... Like, you're bloody Kiwi. F-ing useless Kiwi. No, it was no, there's not. She said it was discrimination and disrespectful. Was it always, was it like prefaced with any... Like your bloody Kiwi. F-ing useless Kiwi. No, it was just Kiwi. Oh, okay. Like, Kiwi, what are you doing over there?

Or... Right. Kiwi, where's that bread? I assume you say that lots in a bakery. Yeah. Where's the bread? Pass me a roll. Yeah.

Chuck us some of that flour, Kiwi. I don't know, I've never worked in a bakery, but these are the terms I'm sure get thrown around quite a bit. It sounds like that's what you'd say, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not wrong. How much baking powder do we have to put in an ordinary flour to make a self-raising flour, Kiwi?

That's another one. Yeah. Just from not having self-raising flour around but needing some for a recipe. So, yeah, she didn't like it. She said it was racial discrimination, but it got thrown out. So we want to talk about this morning if you've got a nickname you didn't like it She said it was racial discrimination But it got thrown out So we want to talk about this morning

If you've got a nickname you don't like The problem is you never really make a big deal About the nicknames you don't like Especially around here They stick If you react to a nickname It's sticking Because I don't like mum by the way

Why don't you like mum? Because you guys always call me mum. I know. I'm not. No, it's like everyone else. But it makes me feel old. And I know that I'm older than everyone else. Not you two.

You're easily old enough to be a mum. Not their mum. Oh, no, but our mum. Like, if, like, little kids were calling me mum, I'd be like, oh, that's cute. Yeah, but. But not, like, grown-ass humans who are, like, hey, mum. I call you auntie. Auntie. Oh, that's right, because I'm a cool auntie.

Auntie Megan. I'm a cool auntie. Yeah. Yeah. But not mum. Don't call me mum. Okay. Okay, mum.

I never knew this was an issue. No, I know, but now it is and now you've told us and now we will only call you mum. Great. I feel like there's always nicknames around here that we give each other, but maybe they're not appropriate. I don't think we could say any on here.

No, no, I don't think so. We have a lot of nicknames for each other, but yeah, I don't know. But they also phase in and out, like none really last. Yeah. Forever.

Like safety, yeah, you get safety dad, but that's probably. Yeah, but that's because I'm sensible and I have itineraries and I'm organising and I'm organised. And there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Yeah.

Shut up, stop calling me that. Producers? Anya has something she'd like to tell you. Oh, yeah. And to Anya, your turn to speak. Dear Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Yeah. I would henceforth like to be called my given birth

name Anna. No. No. Not happening. Understood. Thank you. The reason we call her Anya is somebody said when she started, I said oh it's Anna and someone's like oh no don't call her that her name's Anya. And then I was like oh okay Anya and someone's like no it, oh, it's Anna. And someone's like, oh, no, don't call her that. Her name's Anya.

And then I was like, oh, okay, Anya. And someone's like, no, it's not. It's Anna, like off Frozen. And I was like, I'm so confused. So I just merged them all in. Because what's terrible with new people and their names? So we were like, oh, it's Anna. So I was like, Anya.

And that got a merge of all three. And then that just stuck. And it stuck. And we're like. I like you've got no problem with the fact we've been calling you intern and you finished your internship like nearly two years ago.

Yeah, I mean... Three. I understand. And it's a difficult name to get your head around. You know, there's a lot of letters. It's very confusing, hard to pronounce. Break it down for me.

How do I say your name if I was going to say it in like bits? Phonetically, a... a... na. Na. It's tricky, I, eh, nah. Nah. It's tricky, I know,

but I believe in 2019 maybe we could do it. And then nah. I'm going to try putting them together. Anya! No, you didn't win. Try my best.

It's that kind of facetious attitude from an intern that just makes me not want to call her her actual name. Exactly. That sarcastic tone

that she was just using. Plus, I know your parents raised you and stuff, but this name suits you better. I'll have a word to them. I'm very influential in their ear. So we want to take some calls.

0800 Dials at M. You can text as well, 9696. Do you have a nickname that your friends or your workmates call you and you absolutely hate it? We're talking about nicknames

that you don't particularly enjoy. Kiwi in Australia tried to get racial discrimination to their old boss because they were called Kiwi. So we want to know what nicknames you've got that you don't like. Some text messages in. My nickname and last name is Scully. So like Fletch is your last name.

We just call you Fletch. It sometimes blows people's mind when they hear you get called Carl and they're like, who's Carl? And that's you. And so I'm Scully. I work with four guys. So my name's Gully. Gully Gullison.

Gully McGullison. The Scuzzler. The Scuzzler. Scuzz. The Scuzzlinator. And the Scuzzlinator 5000. I don't know why that I got the 5000.

But there's But that means they like you. Yeah it does And there's a good range of nicknames there My partner is on the shorter side And has somewhat of a limited neck That's a nice way They've learnt how to put that quite nicely

Over their time together He always gets called barrel or meatball He hates it But he's the bloody most handsome barrel I've ever seen That's all that matters. That's pretty cute. Somebody said, it's never the nickname with me, but if someone who I'm not friends with tries to call me a nickname

that my friends call me, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You've got to earn your place. Exactly. Jess, the nickname that you hate? Hi. In my old workplace, I used to get called a hobbit and a nugget. Oh no, are you shorter? Pardon? Are you a little bit shorter? Slightly on the short side and also really feisty and apparently nuggets are really feisty. Nuggets? Yeah, I don't know where it came from but they

photoshopped my face onto a Hobbit and a nugget and posted it around the workplace. Oh, I know, because now that feels like it's getting to the point of bullying. Yeah. It was really funny. It was only a joke, but far out, man. I was just, yeah. And that's the thing, if you react, it's only sticking that nickname.

Oh, totally. And I don't do well at keeping my cool when I find things funny or, like, joking. I just lose it. Jessie, thanks for your call. Sarah, what's the nickname that you hate? Hyphen. Hyphen? Why are we called Hyphen? So, I got married back in March, and I hyphenated my last name.

And my family decided that was a bit strange. So they call me Hyphen now. That's something weird, Delay. Just rag on someone for changing their name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've made the decision to join our two names. Terrible decision, Hyphen. And then it sticks.

And then it sticks. Did you overreact and so it made it worse? Yeah, I probably did. I'm really good to that. Yeah. Sarah, thanks for your call. Some other text messages in. My nickname at work is Crap.

It's my first initial and my last name, which is Rap. So Crap. Written down on my first day, they said it looks like crap, and that's been around for over two years. Oh. Somebody said to intern Anya, my name is Anna, but somebody at work called me Anya once and it stuck. And then somebody said, is your name Amber?

And I didn't have time to correct them before somebody else started talking. So now there's this whole mix of Amber, Anya, all sorts. It's nice to be spanking about though, isn't it, Anya? Oh, yeah. It's a real dream come true for me, guys. Count my lucky stars every day. Somebody else said, I'm short and I get worked up, so I get called the troll whenever I'm... Oh no, that's not nice.

And my workmate is Big Bird, because they're over six foot. See, Big Bird, if I said it was a guy called Big Bird, not bad. If I said it's a female called Big Bird, that changes the game a bit. That would be quite mean. Yeah, because this is a female called Big Bird. Oh, try it. Go on. We wouldn't be able to

on you because you're... Somebody said, oh my God, I am so guilty of this. Someone said, I think I speak on behalf of all Claire's when I say we all hate being called Claire Bear. I call all the Claire's Claire Bear. Oh no. Is it actually a thing Claire's hate?

Because I always... Because I call all Claire's Lears and anything that rhymes like that. Claire Bear. Lear Bear, Claire Bear. Yeah. Uh-oh. And I like all of the Claire's in my life to think they're the only Clear I call Clear Bear.

But they actually all hate it. They all Clear Bear. Okay. And they all hate it. We need to stop now. We've been told. Pawnee Pawnee, we need to stop, okay? Pawnee Pawnee.

That's not going to stick. Didn't flow well. Fleechy Weechy. No. That was quite nice. I wish you could say the other nicknames on here That we call each other No

No Well I mean We'll get to go on Christmas break sooner But I just don't know If there'll be any work After Christmas Fletch

Vaughn And Megan The Podcast This is great I've just heard from Sade Yep My wife

She sent me a video That the elves are back. The elf on the shelf elves are back. Calf and Harris, I haven't seen them. I believe they're the same elves that we've been assigned previous years. Of course, there was Alf Stewart, Calf and Harris, and Alphys presently. Once they get assigned a family, do they just keep going back to that family? I was of the, a couple of Christmases ago,

because we've had Alphys for quite a few Christmases, he comes and checks on, makes sure the kid's behaving, reports to Santa every night through the magical door back to the North Pole. Yeah. I was of the understanding these two were his interns. He was like teaching them the way, and then they'd find their own family.

But they seem to have developed some sort of connection to our family, and they're back, all of sort of connection to our family and they're back. All of them are back. Are you telling me that elves also exploit younger workers for minimum pay? Yeah, yeah. Like, you'll get some valuable work experience tag on with this older guy who's on, like, middle management wages.

And then they'll just sack you for some new interns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does Alphys make them do all the work? Well, Alphys, well, he's the stalwart. He knows how it all works. These other two are often clowning around. They're trouble. Aren't they late?

Aren't they late? They are late. Well, Sade tells me that they've ridden on, because we're at the new house, they've ridden saying to the kids, you didn't tell us you were moving, so we didn't know where to find you. For?

So they had to, I know, but I thought the kids were taking care of this. Because they wrote letters to Sandra. I thought they would include in there the forwarding address for presents and or elves. Right. So I'm now, I've been alerted to the fact that they have found us four days late. So they've got a little bit less work to do. I'm sure other elves out there can appreciate that they've got a few free days at the start

of December, given how hard it can be for elves over December. Because a lot of people were asking you, weren't they? They said, yeah, you're getting the elves back. Where are the elves? You know, have you told the elves not to come back? Have the kids been too naughty? And there has been moments where the children have been a little bit testing. And I have said to them, I was like, you know what?

If you're bad enough, the elves don't even come to check. They just know. They just know, yeah. Yeah. And so they'll obviously have pulled up the, what is the saying? Pulled up their boots? Pulled up their socks? Pulled up, yeah.

Pulled up their socks. Pulled your drawstrings of your track pants? I don't know. Whatever that saying is. They've sorted it out recently and the Santa's obviously deemed them watchable, so sent the three scout elves to watch over for the rest of December. Do we know what these three scallywag elves were doing this morning? Well, I think they'd made their way, they'd written on the wall saying,

we're back. Right. With what? Vivid? No, chalk. Oh, okay. The house has got one of those. Someone's painted chalkboard paint on the wall.

Oh, okay. So you can, you know, with the best of intentions, I think you'd do that. So you like write the shopping list on there or like love notes your family. It looks messy. I don't like that. People do chalk walls.

Absolutely detested. You and Sade would be. She's like, I'm not. I don't like that. No, I'm, yeah, I know you, Sade, and I are very similar. Everything's got to look perfect. Yeah, whereas I like to scribble on a wall and not get in trouble. I'm on the kids' side of this one with the chalkboard.

So yeah, for everybody who was concerned that maybe the elves weren't going to be at the Smith House this year, they are, they're back. They're back for the festive season. And will you be detailing their movements on social media? Yes, yeah, I will be. Have fun with that. On my Instagram, yeah,

sharing the elves' adventures. That is correct. Right, because they can't do what they did last time, can they? They like to mix it up. Why not? What's your problem with them repeating some tricks they've done previous years? I don't know. Why does it have originality? Oh, right. Okay, well, Now that it's been said, I guess the elves really do have

their work cut out for them in the month of December. Good luck, elves. And every other elf around the shelf. I used to have a Fitbit. Did you guys have a Fitbit? Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, I'm going to get a Fitbit Did you guys have a Fitbit? Yeah Yeah

Yeah Because I was like I'm going to get a Fitbit Not only did I have a Fitbit Megan I had the best of intentions Yeah But then I feel like you go Either one or two ways

You're like yes It's your thing And you count your 10,000 steps a day You're very serious about it Or It judges you And you take it off And put it in the drawer

Yeah because it's a constant reminder that you're a failure. Yeah, and I would get to the end of the day and I'd end up walking around the house for like 10, 15 minutes. We got given them, didn't we, Fitbits? Yeah. Oh, they were real good.

They were real good. Oh, they are good, but I... Because the ones we got given had the pulse and everything, eh? And you'd be like, and it would sync to an app. You could be like, I'm having a heart attack.

It wasn't just a pedometer. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but mine's in the drawer because I just got sick of being judged. Right. For not doing 18,000 steps. My friend's got an Apple Watch and it's like,

stand up now. Right. Oh. No. What, it tells him to stand up? It was like, stand up now, and he was like,

done, and it was like, stand up now, because it knew that he was lying. It knew that he didn't stand up. But was he being lazy? No, he works in an office. And if you've got like a desk job, it's like, stand up, move around, just to keep everything

where it should be. But then it's like, you might be on a roll. Stand up, go to the vending machine. Yeah. Get a choccy bar. Okay. Get some healthy nuts. And you're like, okay, it's healthy nuts.

They're like, not a Snickers bar. And you're like, damn it! No, because it can tell you stood up and walked around, but it can't tell that you're eating. Yeah. Unless you're allowed to eat it. But I know that Trin in the office, doesn't she do 10,000 steps? Caitlin, weren't you saying, every day she's like, I've got to do my 10,000.

Yeah, she's like, annoys everyone because she's just like, walking around the office like six times and then she'll sit down and she'll do some work and then she'll get up and walk around again. But that's probably making her quite productive. Oh, yeah, and she's got great legs. Yeah. Well, there is something easier.

Apparently, there is a professor. Calm down. The HR might be listening. You can't say that about a colleague. Yes, I can. Yeah, she's got great calves. If I'd said that about you, oh, she's got great legs.

Well, no, you said it creepily. Oh, you said it creepily. Yeah, well, you see what I mean? No, it's okay for you to say oh, she's got great legs. Well, no, you said it creepily. Oh, you said it creepily. Yeah, well, you see what I mean? No, it's okay for you to say that. She's got great legs. No. Just be like, she's got great calves. Yeah, she's got great legs.

Do it like real light-heartedly. Oh, if you say it fast, it's not creepy. Great calves. And like high. And what are you like, because you're like specifically targeting the calf, it's not creepy. The muscle rather than the knee. So I could be like, oh, she's got great backs of her knees. No, but you're saying it.

She's got great backs of the knees. No, but you're saying it. She's got great backs of the knees. No, do it like this. She's got great backs of the knees. She's got great backs of the knees. No, it's definitely creepy when you say it. She's got sweaty little feet. Oh, my God. What?

You're even not arguing with that one. She's got sweaty little feet. No. You're going to HR either way. You even got I knew it that one You creep She's got Sweet little feet No I was in that Yuck You can go to HR Either way So we apparently

Don't need to do The 10,000 steps And especially Not all at once So you need to do Three brisk 10 minute walks a day So just go

Because I thought The answer was You don't need 10,000 steps All you need is a knife No but that Adds up to like 3,000 steps, but it needs to be brisk. So you maybe do it morning, lunchtime and evening.

Okay. That would be around, how much is one and a half miles in Ks? Two and a half Ks. Yeah, like two-ish. Okay. So that's what you need to do. Faster, like break it down into three goes. So it's more kind of intense for shorter.

It's like, training. High intensity interval training. Everyone says that's the way to go. So yeah. But still, can we still go to work drinks and eat all the Christmas goodies?

I believe so. It says nothing about not doing that in this thing. So free to do what we want and eat what we want. Yeah. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is about Tesla vehicles and their autopilot feature. Okay. I kind of touched on this. Was it yesterday in Storytime? You said about how that guy was asleep at the wheel. He was drink driving. He was drink driving. Going 120 k's.

Yeah. 12 k's and the Tesla was driving and he was just chilling. Yeah. Well, this is like going to become far more commonplace. Okay. This American summer, so our next winter. Yep. American summer, so our next winter, there's going to be a massive update to

Tesla's autopilot system using the data gathered from all the autopilot driving that's been happening around so far. Okay. So they've, you know how Tesla vehicles connect to the internet and they upload all of the data? Yep. So from that data, Tesla have said Tesla vehicles have now been driven

well over 1.2 billion miles while on autopilot. And there haven't been that many incidents, have there? No. During that time, there's only been three fatalities from Tesla autopilot after 1.2 billion miles. The human average is every billion miles, 12 and a half deaths. Oh, wow. So Tesla Autopilot is four times safer than human drivers. Because they can predict a crash, right?

They can sense the sensors stop. Yeah. And with the new data from all the data that's been gathered from the over 1.2 billion miles they've done so far, and I'm guessing this is just a number exponentially increasing, they've got a whole lot of new data about how to do it better. So the next time there's an update, they'll be able to do it better. I feel, because I'm always like, sometimes I rush out and I update my phone and you get all the bugs and all the apps aren't, you know, they're not ready for the new software.

And I'm always like, next time, I'm just going to wait a month. I'm just going to wait. But I always'm just gonna wait but i always rush in yeah i was russian i feel like a car update that would be the same kind of thing would it don't rush you driving along and you know the new update hasn't really been tested well i don't know i don't trust software so there's something else called shadow mode as well i've never driven a tesla they look like heaps of fun i have didn't you because you got a test drive yeah i't you? Yeah, I test drove it. Which one did you do? The watch car. The real flash one.

The real flash one. It's like 200 something. That you'll never be able to afford. That's the one I want. Yeah. Yeah, we all want a car that's $200,000. That's the one I want. That's what I want.

I see other $200,000 cars and they do nothing for me. Not even like flash Audis or Porsches. No, not really. Those Porsche Cayennes, those four-wheel drives, you could give me a four-wheel drive that costs like $50,000 and I would be so stoked on that compared to one that costs four times as much. But those Tesla, those real flash Teslas, I'm just like, oh, that'll be neat. You know, yeah, I'd kill for one of those.

They have sports mode and then... Your own mother? No. No, you just said, who would you kill? You said you'd kill for one, so now They have sports mode. Who would you kill? Your own mother? No. You just said, who would you kill? You said you'd kill for one, so now I want to know. Someone I don't know. You would literally kill a homeless person? No, I'm joking.

Megan, you think you know someone? No, it has like sports mode and then like, I don't know what the other one's called, like normal. If any homeless people have died recently, it'll be Megan trying to get a tally up for a Tesla. She's like, Elon at Tesla.com. I've done it. I've killed two people. And I'll do another two.

To be honest, I've quite learnt to quite like the feeling. But I'll do it for one of your Teslas. Can I please have one in black? That'll be three more dead people. Did you drive on autopilot though? You're not allowed to in New Zealand. You're not allowed to do full automated. Okay.

But they, even on not on automated, they sense when you're going to have a crash and they take over. It's called shadow mode. So shadow mode is just, it learns off you driving. Right. And if you like brake suddenly,

it's like, what happened just before that happened? Yep. So that I, when I'm driving, can avoid that. Right. Yeah, it takes the base of action. And do you just put in, I was on my phone?

Like, I would know you're on your phone. I would just know. Yeah, it takes the base of action. And do you just put in, I was on my phone? It would know you're on your phone. Yeah, it probably would. It just connects to your phone and then it can know if your phone's having moving and stuff. Yeah. Okay. So cool. So, yeah, that's amazing.

And so the total miles of Teslas, this was to June this year, so this is going to be heaps. This is their latest data that they've released, was basically 7.9 billion miles. 1.6 billion miles of those miles had been on shadow mode, and 1.2 of them had been on full autopilot. So humans aren't doing a lot of driving in these cars. No, and even in America, they've got trucks that have autopilot.

Don't forget that. It's scary, but their freeways are so flat, they can. Yeah. Whereas I feel like here in New Zealand, will autopilot ever be a thing? I dare you to go up the Coromandel Peninsula trusting your car or the Crown Range. You're like, oh, it's close to the edge.

Oh, no, it's going to swerve. It's going to go back. No, okay, we're over the cliff. It'd be like you would be your mum when your mum's teaching you to drive. Slow down, slow down. Oh, my God. Okay, are you listening to me, car?

Are you listening to me? So today's fact of the day is Tesla Autopilot is, on average, four times safer than human drivers. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I think we might be on backup power. Oh, I love when you go on backup power. The lights went off and then on real quick. And now they're bright, real bright.

Apparently, a lot of lightning strikes around the Auckland region are delaying flights as well. Oh, really? And, of course, not making traffic the greatest. I just saw one out the window before. I love seeing a lightning. I love seeing lightning. Like blanket lightnings and that,

but when you see fork lightning, doesn't that feel good? Feels like you, Sora, something extinct. Yeah. Like it's rare, you know? Yeah.

See a fork. And it's just amazing that you weren't blinking at the time because it happens. And you're facing the right way. Yeah, I mean, they happen all the time. Thunderstorms,

but still when you see one, it still feels pretty great. Weird. We all just sounded stoned then. We're all back at power, man. We're all back, the lights are real bright. Here's the thunderstorms, man.

Have you ever seen lightning, bro? Do you ever see lightning? Do you ever feel lightning? Do you ever ride the lightning? So we shifted the weekend and the place we've moved into has got heaps of citrus trees. I'm so excited about this

because you're sending me photos of grapefruit. Yeah, so there's big... What kind? Like dumb ones? Like tangelos? X, I will fight you. No, I'm a man. Tangelo's is dumb.

How do you say that? I say tangelo. Tangelos. I think you're shushing it up. Because I'm hearing... I knew a guy called Angelo, so I just imagined it's his name Tangelo

They're stupid because you can't peel them They always have heaps of pips in them No these ones don't have Because I've eaten many a tangelo off the tree I ate so much citrus the other day I had hot wheeze I do that sometimes If I have too many mandarins or oranges

And you're wearing your lace. It's a thing. Yeah, it's a thing. What is it? Is it the acid? You need to tone it down. Too much citrus. Yeah.

You think about if it's wheeze, it must be your throat must be ripped from all the citric acid. Yeah. And I was like, all right, tone it down, because I can't help myself. I'm like a pig at a trough. If you put something in front of me, I'm going to eat it. So there's...

Have you got any stoneys? Any stone fruits? Yeah, there's plums. Okay. There's plums. I'm coming up. Yeah, I... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Plums. You can get too many tangelas and then too many plums, you'd be blowing out both holes down there, wouldn't you? Burning. There's another lightning. Burning. Burning out both sides. Yeah.

But then on the other side, there's lemons. And then lemonades. I've never had a little lemonades. They are delicious. What do you do with them? Not as, like, as lemons. But, like, you can use them in places. That's sweeter.

Okay. Yeah. I'm up for that. Right. There's some oranges. We've got a good citrus range. Okay. So, yeah, I'm going to be, Shade's like,

well, why don't you just put them in a bag and take them to work? You're going to be that guy. And I'm going to be the guy that's going to be like, yeah, guys, I've got another bag of citrus out here. But at least you'll be popular because I've got heaps of silver beet. No one wants that, do they? No. I even asked the neighbours because we have a produce swap.

I went and put some silver beet in there. Oh, no, no. What are you taking out, though? No, I didn't take anything out. Because you'd have to put a lot of silver beet in to be worth one cucumber. Oh, no, no. What are you taking out, though? No, I didn't take anything out. Because you'd have to put a lot of silverbeet in to be worth one cucumber. Oh, no, there's no cucumber. There's been, like, heaps of lavender and oranges and grapefruits. What do you do with lavender?

I don't know. Just, like, put it under your pillow, make it smell. Make your own puri. Yeah. But no one wanted my silverbeet. Of course I don't want your silverbeet. It's good for you. Chickens eat silverbeet.

I was just about to say, because, you know know people with chickens are always bringing the eggs to work, because they're like, we'll get 12 chickens. That seems like a good amount of chickens. And then every chicken's dropping an egg a day. And then you've got a dozen eggs a day. You might get through a dozen eggs maybe every three days. But otherwise you're eating a lot of eggs. And so then the chicken people are the egg people.

They're always bringing eggs to work. That's great currency, because eggs are expensive to buy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just want to know what people at your workplace are the, insert word here, people. Like the egg people. Because Gary's honey.

Gary's the honey guy. Gary's the honey guy. That's good currency. Yeah, that's great currency. Yeah. He's trying to get me in on that. Or maybe you're the person at work that always brings cakes and cookies and biscuits. The baking person.

Yeah, see, I like those people better than the beetroot or the silver beet. I know. I want to be, what can I be? I want to be something good, not silver beet girl. But you need to, if you're going to do beetroot, you need to preserve the beetroot and bring it. No, no one wants anyone to make beetroot. And then that's a lot of pre-work just to give it away, and then you've got to ask for the jars back. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a hassle. Nobody wants that. You want to be given the raw, the raw content. So yeah, who at your work is someone that always brings something to work? The insert their situation person at your work. Okay, all right. We want to know what you're known for at your work, what you're always bringing in.

Vaughan's going to be the citrus guy, and we don't have a problem with that at all. I'm okay with that. He's got a lot of citrus. When are you bringing in the citrus? I'm bringing it tomorrow. You're talking about it. Oh, no, I can bring some tomorrow. There's some ready. I've got to be careful with all the grapefruit because I'm on with that. It's got a lot of citrus. When are you bringing in the citrus? I'm bringing it tomorrow. You're talking about it. Oh, no, I can bring some tomorrow.

There's some ready. I've got to be careful with all the grapefruit because I'm on the pill. And you will get pregnant. I know. I don't want to get pregs, especially over Christmas. You can't say no to it when you're ovulating, can you? Craving.

Stop it. Craving. So we want to know what you or someone at your work brings to work and thus they have the nickname of what they bring in Amy, what do you know for bringing in? We grow chillies at home

got a green now and chillies are quite expensive when you've got to buy them from the supermarket. That's crazy right like three of them can be four or five bucks or you'll get one and you'll do it and then you'll put it in and it'll be like item not in the bagging area. But it was like $400 but it's so small

and expensive. Yeah. Yeah, we grow, we literally sometimes end up with hundreds of them and last year I thought I'd grow a different variety.

Yeah. And unbeknownst to us, they were mega, mega hot. And I gave some to an ex-workmate that likes hot chillies. He gave them to his workmates and said

they're not that hot and one of them had to go home. But they're not using them in cooking. They're literally just sitting there and eating them. Well, he told them to and they believed him which wasn't wise. I dried some

seeds from what I was too scared to touch them. What are they called? Because the hot ones have always got freaky names like Californian ghost pepper. That's what we couldn't figure out because we couldn't find the tag from the parts. They're really dicing there, aren't you? Really rolling the dice.

Well, I poked some dry seeds with my finger and about half an hour later touched the inside of my mouth and it went all tingly. Wow. No, I'm out. I can't. I'll do a mild, a sweet chilli mild. Sweet chilli.

Absolute most. Thanks you call Amy. Laura, what's your boss known for bringing to work? He's got some mysterious Kit Kat hookup. I'm not really sure where he gets them from. He must have a friend, but every, like, yeah, three or four times a year, he just comes in with this big box of Kit Kats and chucks them on

the staff table and is like, go for gold. Oh my God, he's the Kit Kat guy. Yeah. The Kit Kat king. Yeah, I remember ages ago, my friends flattered with someone who worked at Cadbury. He was a Cadbury guy.

And in the garage, it was just... See, it sounds like a good idea. Yeah, or they either hated it in the end. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's a slippery slope. But it's only three or four times a year. Like, they're good people to know.

That's the right amount. But if it's just constantly sitting in your garage, so every time you go in there, it's staring you in the face. It might get a bit much. Laura, thanks for your call. I am the baking lady at my work. Read systemics message. I bring in baking every week, usually on a Monday

and sometimes more than once a week. I currently have date and orange scones on the passenger seat. Why the baking people? It's nice, but don't bring it too often because, like, some of us can't say no and then try not to eat so much baking. Some other text messages in. Someone said, Fletch, don't worry about it. Recent studies show no interaction between the pill and grapefruit,

so you can have your grapefruit and unprotected sex while ovulating. So that's all good. We've got the curry guy, the lemon guy, and the new flavour chippies guy. We don't know where he gets them from, but he gets the new flavours of chips the curry guy, the lemon guy and the new flavour of chippies guy. We don't know where he gets them from but he gets the new flavours of chips before they're on the shelves.

Imagine being the chippy guy. Somebody said, I'm pretty sure every New Zealand workplace has the Fijoa person. Yes. When it gets to that time of year and they're just bringing in

bags and bags and bags of Fijoa's. Yeah. I work at Auckland Hospital Emergency Department and there's an orderly who works night shifts and around 1am will bring out his coffee percolator. Oh, the coffee guy.

And he supplies the grinds and everything but makes a coffee for everybody. It's the highlight of the night. And he's the coffee guy. We're like, where's the coffee guy? If the coffee guy's not working, it's very sad. And somebody said an ex-workmate of mine was the rhubarb guy,

but nobody had the heart to tell him that nobody wanted the rhubarb. Oh, he has the rhubarb. Or are they just taking it home and chucking it out or something to make him feel better? But the rhubarb's like, it's good. It's like preserving preserves. You've got to put the work in to make it good.

Yeah. Yeah. So there you go. Many a... It's good. I think it's very Kiwi, right? It is. Yeah, and you're shearing it.

It's not wasteful. Somebody said they were the egg lady. Yeah. But now everyone brings in their empty egg cartons to be helpful, and I'm just turning into the egg carton lady because there's like 40 unfilled ones at my house wanting to be filled in a massive pile. At least they stack nice.

Yeah, true. I love stacking egg. CDM's, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. For more, catch them every weekday from 6. See you next week.