ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 05 2019

Episode Date: December 4, 2019

"Daddy Thicc Snacc" has been used in Parliament, Community Notices and when did you hear someone talking about you behind your back?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music. Lives here. Fletch Warner-Megan. The podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Warner-Megan. Two minutes past six. To our Wanaka listeners this morning. Jeez, that's crazy. I just saw the Wanaka tree. That's getting submerged. The famous lake tree. Yeah. Does that tree have a name? Lake tree, solo tree. Tree in the lake. Tree that's always in the photos. The Wanaka tree.

Yeah, that tree. Where's the razor coming down off the... You know, of course, the sky. No, not the sky. Like what ranges is getting it, that it's flowing down into Wanaka? Because Wanaka seems to be the one we're hearing about the most.

Well, it's all the mountains, isn't it? It brings it into the lake and then... The old Clutha River, I saw that they opened the dam there to let as much out as they could before the downpour made it, you know, burst its banks. Lots of water.

Crazy. Thoughts with those in Wanaka this morning. Last night, Hamilton. Yeah. How are we feeling this morning. Last night, Hamilton. Yeah. How are we feeling this morning? This is a long, we need to do the roadie after our pub quiz.

Yeah. Back, just tired. Yeah, good times. Good times. Good times in the Tron. You got excited because you're in your hometown.

Yep. He did, he got excited he was showing up. I hadn't been for a while. I hadn't been for a while. I didn't know that there was at the end of the expressway, I didn't know there was a McDonald's and a BP there.

Yeah, that's popped up, hasn't it? Just before Tupere. Yeah, that's really popped up. RIP Huntley when that bypass opens. Oh, yeah, but, you know, I'm not going to miss it. I'll miss the Top Twins mural. What they need to do is move that. Take that, put it on a billboard and put it near the expressway when that opens.

Yeah, that's a great idea. I do like going through Huntley and saying, oh my god, the Decker sign, oh my god, the Top Twins. Yeah, but if you take the Top Twins out of it, then you've got no reason to go and visit. All right, you lot, listen up. It's Storytime. Storytime, three news

headlines, and Watermegan must pick one of the following three headlines. The others, deleted. We never find out about them. Headline one, former swimsuit model and teacher. Now, former model and former teacher. Yeah, I know that one. Headline two, dog not man's best friend. And headline three, spray-p painted polar bear baffles experts.

Those are your headlines. So story one is a South African swimsuit model. Yes. She was a teacher, right? Well, she was, Megan, yes. And she took a fancy to a few of her male students. Oh. Yes.

Yeah. Oh. So she does not teach anymore. Sports illustrated model turned history teacher. Yeah, she's a babe. She is a babe. I see you're very quick to Google that story, Vaughn. Yeah, I just wanted to know what's going on here.

Did any of your teachers look like that? No. No, no, no, no, no. Age of consent. They were 18- no, no. Age of consent. There were 18-year-olds, age of consent, there's 16. It was the fact that she was

in the position of power, like that whole teacher dynamic that was the issue. Yeah. I know the other one, the polar bear one. Yeah. There's a polar bear

and it's been spray painted and nobody knows why or how because obviously you don't approach polar bears because they're an apex predator. Yeah, they'll rip your face off. Yeah. Especially at the moment because they're really hungry because we're melting all their ice. So it must have been another polar bear that did it.

Must have. By my calculations. Mate, I mean, your logic is sound. Yes. It's just I can't imagine A polar bear Operating a spray paint can No No opposable thumbs

No To hold the can And then use the top Especially to write The letters on it He puts one paw underneath And the other paw on top That could happen

What letters were written on it? It's I didn't know there was letters I just knew that there was Spray painting Teeth dash 34 Showing your picture there Teeth-34. Showing you a picture there.

Teeth-34. Like over the entire polar bear in black spray paint. And people are just like, how does somebody get close enough to spray paint a polar bear? Like a scientific tracking number. No, because you'd put a tracker on. You don't use... Teeth-34. Interesting.

And so everyone's just like... A Teeth-34 was a tank that played a vital role in the soviet union's defeat of nazi germany in world war ii this is in russia so uh so they're saying he's a tank he's a polar bear tank you're a tank frank the tank yeah i don't know hot play yeah um okay so what that just leaves story two. Dog not man's best friend. We go now to Essex in the UK where a husky was left on its own in a house. Now, the owner was away and the husky managed to turn on the microwave

and start a fire. A packet of bread rolls, which had been left inside the microwave, began to burn and caused a small fire. Now, the rolls, which had been left inside the microwave, began to burn and caused a small fire. Now, the owner, who wasn't home at the time, was alerted to the fire by an app on their mobile phone. Wow. So, we've got one of those home alarm systems

where detectors and stuff go off. You get alerts if they go off or someone's, you know, trying to break into your house. Yeah. And that was when he was able to view a live feed of the camera that was set up in his house and see his dog and microwave in the kitchen with the microwave smoking it on fire.

So the fire service were called out and the fire service have taken this moment to say that it demonstrates microwaves shouldn't be used to store food when they aren't in use. Always keep your microwave clean and free of clutter, any food or packaging. I've over-microwaved bread before, but it just goes, like, rock hard. I've never seen any signs of burning. I don't know, maybe there was a plastic wrap on it

because they were just using it as a storage rather than... Like to defrost frozen bread, you might put the whole thing in there. Yeah. But yeah, they're just saying animals and children can accidentally turn on microwaves, so don't leave food in there. Right. But cute husky.

Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. ZM. Roxanne. ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, Arizona service, Roxanne. There's news out. I was just contemplating the song and Roxanne. There was another song about Roxanne

and it was that she doesn't have to turn on her red light in a connection that she's a prostitute. But then I'm not quite sure what she's doing in that one. Anyway, there's news. Scientific study into the effect of the pill. This is the contraceptive pill. We've been taking this for a very long time. Why are they doing a scientific study on the effects of it now?

Well, they have studied the effect that the pill has on the part of the brain called the essential brain region. Okay. That is the... Is that actually a thing? Is that what they call it? Hypothalamus Oh I was going to say like that

So it takes care of our hormones Essential because it's I guess it's one of the oldest parts of the brain Yeah But it plays a role in hormones Thus mood Sex drive Ability to sleep

And appetite and appetite control. I'm still confused that they have only just now done a study on the essential part of the brain that deals with hormones and how the pill affects it. Well, apparently it can make it 6% smaller. Oh, no. But brain-wise, is smaller worse? No, it doesn't affect your cognitive functions.

It doesn't affect your ability to think, your ability to function. But it does affect your hormones. So it could affect your sex drive, for example. Oh, okay. So you're taking the pill because you don't, you know, you want contraception. Yeah. But then you actually just don't want to do it. It may also, yeah, affect your sex hormones.

And the other things I talked about hormones, sleep could make you want to sleep more, could make you want to sleep less, but it could affect your sleep. Right. And hunger as well, appetite. So. Goddamn. Could make you a little snacky. Thanks for taking that one for the team.

So you don't want to do it. You want to sleep all the time and eat. Yeah. That sounds about right. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like me most days, but also the weekend. You're keen to do it, though.

You just don't. Pretty keen. Yeah, pretty keen. Like now. Or just in general. Just in general, you're normally pretty keen. We need you guys to take the pill, to tone it down a bit. No, have you heard of all the side effects?

Yeah, can make you want a snack. I don't need that. Fletchbourne and Megan's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we see what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. Let's pop into the Upper Hutt community page. Where it's that time of the year, school holidays are approaching,

but mum and dads, grandparents, legal guardians, aunties and uncles, whoever takes care of the children, might be at a bit of a loss what to do with the period between the end of school and when they finish work. Yeah, right. And that's where Sam Wild has stepped up and said, hey, mum and dads, I'm offering a death metal singing course for the kids these Christmas holidays.

Wow. They'll learn skills like growling, screaming, headbanging, and worshipping Satan. $60 a lesson. It was all right until you got to worshipping Satan. I thought it was all right until it got to $60 a lesson. Oh, yeah. You're doing five of those60 a lesson. It was alright until you got to worshipping Satan. I thought it was alright until it got to $60 a lesson. Oh yeah. You're doing five of those in a week. That's $300.

Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. But they might come home with no voice. Which is good. But also crippling neck pain from headbanging. And also a newfound love for Satan. Yeah. There's that too. Yeah. Unnerving. It's so hard being a parent. Better than coming home and they'll sign up for some pyramid scheme though love for Satan. Yeah. There's that too. Yeah. Unnerving.

It's so hard being a parent. Better than coming home and they'll sign up for some pyramid scheme though, you know? Yeah. Satan's fairly forgiving. Debt is not. Yeah. Let's go to the Summerfield residence page. I don't know where Summerfield is.

We've just been sent this. And Nicola's posted Summerfield, S-O-M-E-R, field. Is that in Canterbury? I don't know. It feels like it is. Click on that. Yeah, south of Christchurch. Well done, Megan.

Nicola has posted on the Summerfield Residents Association page, this is a post I never thought I'd be writing. If anyone's lost a set of dentures, there's a pair at the Strickland entrance to the Bradford Park. I'd love to know the story of how they got there. And it's,

it looks like a bottom set. And it's like a full set too, like your grandparents used to have, like a full. But it looks small. Do you think someone's nan just stopped for a sandwich

or a little biscuit or something and she took them out so it didn't get all stuck in there? You wouldn't eat a biscuit without them. Which is true. You'd have to suck on that ginger nut until it was soggy. Unless they had a thermos

and I wouldn't put that above an old love going for a walk with their little draggy trolley. And she's got a thermos in there and a few biscuits in case her blood sugar gets low on the walk. Well you don't want to get hangry when you're out. No, no, definitely not. Next are community notices. This is from the Gore Buy and Sell New Zealand page.

Unfortunately, there's a bit of a typo because Lindsay has got some whanau coming to stay for Christmas and has headed the ad, Wanted Mistresses. Just had a brain fart of where are all these people going to sleep? Anyhow, it would be appreciated. Finding mistresses. Mattresses, of course. Yeah. Well, not an easy mistake to make, actually.

It's an extra issue there. Well, the iPhone uses what was last used, doesn't it? Yeah, well, it does learn. It does learn. Serena, sorry, has posted on the Darfield, New Zealand, buy and sell exchange page. Does anyone know this person or family? I'll leave the name out.

On our daily dog walk to the school, Sockburn School in Hornby, my son found these human remains. However, they are ashes. Yeah. A bit lost on what to do with them. Couldn't just leave them there. I will take them to the police station if nobody's claimed them by tomorrow.

Thinking someone has done a burglary and taken them not knowing what they was and maybe dumped them there. So pretty keen to get them back to the family. They're still in a container. They're in a plastic bag inside a cardboard box. Oh, wow. So it's kind of lucky she picked it up because if it had rained. Yeah.

The cardboard box. Nana would have gone all soggy. Yeah. They've got a date. They've got so much details on them, like where it happened, what date they died, how old they were.

Surely that's not someone's nan. You wouldn't put her in a plastic bag in a cardboard box. No, that's how they give it to you. That's how the funeral home gives it to you. Unless you provide...

You can provide them an urn, I believe. Or you can give them some gift wrap and some ribbons and they'll do that for you. Very confusing though because it's about the same as the box of scorched almonds. So you don't want to put that under the tree for the kids. That's Westfields. Oh, that will wrap it. When you give them your receipt, yeah.

Oh, do they do it, do they? Yeah. Okay. And finally today, Rolleston just popping up the road, staying in Canterbury. Danielle writes, for the guy that drives that big silver Holden, I'm not entirely sure as to what the brand was. I was just trying to avoid a head on.

Driving down Brookside by the fire station at 8.50am, please keep your tiny penis on your side of the road while driving around the bend. Wait, how does she know? Was he playing with it? No, she's saying he was overcompensating. Oh, right. Okay.

With the erratic driving and the masculine. Yeah, right. Flea's face just dropped like he was naked in his car or something. Like she was driving in the opposite direction, but she had such an eagle eye, she spotted a small... Yeah, I thought maybe she was in a truck or a bus and she could see down in. Because you forget that people can see down into your car sometimes.

Trucks certainly can. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. We can be found at FEMZM. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Countries getting the most sleep. That is the results I'm going to tell you here.

This was by Sleep Cycle. That's an app that tracks how much shut-eye people around the world are getting. A lot of people use this. You've got to leave it on your pillow or your bed, do you? Beside the bed? It can't be on the bedside table because doesn't it figure out how you're tossing and turning? It moves with the old gyroscope in your phone. No.

I don't know how you're for no. No. No. I don't know how your phone knows how much sleep you get, but like it is weird. Like if you use that bedtime app on your iPhone. Yeah. It must measure noise or something because there'll be little dots where you've woken up.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought you had to have it on the bed so when you moved, you were kind of restless. Yeah, that's another one. Okay. But then every time I got to put it on my bed, I freak out about brain tumors. Yeah. And then I, so I just move it literally 15 centimeters further away.

Oh, that's out of the brain tumour zone. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Right out of your old brain tumour situation. Let's go lowest because that's pretty exciting. Right. So this is using all the data from the app to work out which country is getting the most sleep. Japan gets the least amount of sleep. Oh, okay.

Japan averaging about 6 hours 20 a night. Still doesn't that sound like zeroes. And South Korea down there as well, just under six and a half with Saudi Arabia. Right. There's a massive cluster between six hours 45 and seven and a half hours. Okay.

That's where the majority of the country's for. How many hours sleep do you get a night? Because I get six. and seven and a half hours. Okay. That's where the majority of the country's for. How many hours sleep do you get a night? Because I get six, so I'm already under the... Yeah, I'd get... Six would be good. Yeah. Seven, maybe.

Five and eight. Ooh, stop me, baby. I might crack an eight at the weekend. I like seven and a half. Seven. Yeah. Most nights. And then that's enough for me. Well, just above like seven and a half seven yeah most nights and then that's enough for me

well just above the seven and a half Belgium okay then it's a beer probably the beer then Britain

yep then Australia right just ahead of Australia Finland okay and the Netherlands number one

so this is a country that gets the most sleep yep New Zealand oh the average Kiwi gets seven and a half hours a night. We are good at that. It's because we're the third fattest nation.

We need to sleep off all those donuts. We're like, nom, nom, nom, nananise. Yeah, food coma. And we're like, I tell you what, I'll help us lose weight. Just go to bed early and sleep in through a meal. Yeah. Wow. This graph also compares the

GDP, so your gross domestic product, like how wealthy essentially your country is. And Luxembourg seems like it's the place to be. It's the wealthiest country that gets the most sleep. Right, okay. Yeah, but if we're talking lack of sleep and

poor country, the Philippines. Right. But what? Because we're a poor country, but we get the most sleep and poor country, the Philippines. Right. Yeah. But what? Because we're a poor country, but we get the most sleep. We're in the middle. We're kind of in the middle. Right, okay. We're neither poor nor tired. Imagine if you were not poor and not tired.

What a way to live. That's the dream. What an absolutely dream. What a happy dream. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there. Air New Zealand trialling edible cups. Great idea.

A little initiative. Reduce waste by making the coffee served in a biscotti cup. Go ahead. What about when they're like, would you like a water? Those are still plastic cups. They just make you tip your head back, open your mouth, and they no-lip-sip. They no-lip-sip.

No-lip-sip. Turbulence is all over your face. God, you'd want to be first, because I don't trust some of those people to no-lip-sip. No, no, they hold the bottle, and you have to tip your mouth. The flight attendant does. God, imagine a bit of turbulence. No backwash.

You no-lip-sing, and you get it all over your face. Absolutely no-lip-s. You're no-lip-sing, and you get it all over your face. Absolutely no lips. You're no lip-sync and you get it all over your face. All right. That's the very reason we won't do that water thing on the plane. Top six things that should also be edible on a New Zealand flight. I think it's best we move on. It doesn't make any sense either if you think about it.

All three of us are running low on sleep. There hasn't been a lot of sleep. What makes no sense about it? No, I can't describe it. I think it's best we move on. No teeth. What? Look, some people are into stuff.

Don't kink shame anybody. Number six on the list of the top six things that should be edible on an Air New Zealand flight. Number six, if they're doing the cups wine, they're doing the cutlery. Although they don't have... Biscotti cutlery. What else could it be made of?

Yeah, it could be edible. Okay, so this is all edibles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the top six. Well, that's why it's called the top six things that should also be edible on an New Zealand flight. But I've said about four times and I say between every number. Just in case somebody's just joined the show and they're like,

what the heck are these guys pickling on about? Isn't the cutlery metal? Steel Yeah it is That's good God steel Steel's an explosive if you ask me Yeah

Number five on the list of the top six things That should also be edible on an Air New Zealand flight The Kia order magazine Oh yeah what would you make that out of? They always say And feel free to take that with you. What? I'm not taking that with me. It takes about five minutes to read it.

But imagine if they said, feel free to take it with you and eat it. Rice paper. Communion wafers. Yes. That need to be new each time. Because what if someone had fingered through it and then put it back? And then I was like, yum, yum, yum. Probably the same person that didn't know Lips the Water.

Yeah. Bloody finger through, rifle through your bloody Keora magazine. Just on the edible cups, you'd need like a little paper circle because I wouldn't want to put that on a tray table because those are...

I'm sure they'd have that sorted. A little paper circle. Yeah, there'd have to be a paper circle. Yeah, disintegratable, biodegradable paper circles. Disintegratable. Disintegratable. Biodegradable paper circles is going to be better.

Number four on the list of the top six things that should also be edible on an Air New Zealand flight, the entire food tray situation. Oh, okay. There's a lot on a food tray. Yeah. And those plastic things they can use again, but I feel like they're not using the plastic lids again. Yeah. You know, you get like the, you get your...

Fruit salad. Yeah. And it's in a plastic Hard reusable plastic bottle But the top's a flimsy one use plastic I feel like that could all be edible Okay maybe out of Hemp

Or like a glass Pain Oh yeah sugar glass It's a hot quirk You wouldn't be able to use that on a hot dish Like you know when they're like And today we've got a lovely beef Oh, yeah, sugar glass. It's a hot quirk. Then it's a lolly. But you wouldn't be able to use that on a hot dish. Like, you know, when they're like, and today we've got a lovely beef tagine with a couscous.

And you're like, that sounds okay. And then it gets there and you're like, oh, okay. I see what's happened to me. You've used fancy words that describe slop. Wonderful. But you wouldn't be able to put a candy top on that because it would melt. It would melt on, yeah. Okay.

It would goo in. It's an idea. Number three on the list of the top six things that should also be edible on an Air New Zealand flight as they're making the cups edible, the button to put your seat back. So you get on the plane quick and you grab the button off the seat in front of you

and you're like, eat it. It could be a chocolate button. So then they can't put their seat back. Yeah. A chocolate button. And then you've got, like, good leg room. But then what happens on preparation for landing

when you're meant to put your seat back upright and you've eaten the button? They take the button off before they recline, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you jump on the plane, you eat it off the seat in front of you, so they can't recline. So if they can't recline, they don't need to go back up.

So don't eat your button. Eat the other passenger's button. Exactly. Eat anybody's button. Okay. That's not yours or that might affect your leg room. Number two on the list of the top six things that should also be

edible on a New Zealand flight, the flight attendants. What made it a chocolate robot? Yeah. Okay. Great. I don't know what a chocolate robot, but it could have a metal skeleton, but it's coated in chocolate. Okay. That would be pretty good. Could be different flavours, because you know I'm more of a white chocolate. Yeah. And sometimes I like dark as well.

Or both. Like those top decks. No, you say you like dark chocolate. Or caramilk. But I've never seen you eat a, I've never seen you eat Ghana. Like, Megan and I enjoy dark chocolate. I love dark Ghana. I like Ghana. And then you don't. You just caramilk every time.

Or white chocolate. White. Wasey little thin caramilk every time. Or white. Waithy little thin caramilk bits. He loves them. What are you doing? And number one on the list of the top six things that should be edible on an Air New Zealand flight are the cassava chips. They are. They are yuck.

Get rid of them. Get a potato chip back on board. board You'd like a Ripples or something A Bluebird Anything's gotta be better than that Bloody polystyrene junk Alright Alright That's today's top six

Yesterday we were On our way to Hamilton Yesterday afternoon For the Cha-chinga-binga In Hamilton Yep Great night too Thank you to everybody that came along Yes Lots of prizes on our way to Hamilton yesterday afternoon for the Cha-ching-a-binga in Hamilton. Yep. Great night too.

Thank you to everybody that came along. Yes. Lots of prizes. Tradition says whilst leaving Auckland one must stop at the auto bar

and whether it be for McDonald's something else from that other restaurant that's always full of baby boomers. Baby boomers. They love a cafe.

They love a baby boom cafe. We can't have McDonald's We must have something No let's go and have Let's go and have A very large Breedy panini

Deep fried wedges With some deep fried wedges Covered in sour cream Yeah And no vegetables Or an egg sandwich Yeah Oh yum

Yum Not an egg and chives sandwich Not chives though That's weird Yeah Chives What are they Little onions.

So we stopped there. I was in the service station. I got a bag of chips. Small detail, but that was what I was doing when this happened. And a cookie time. I did get a cookie time, but I saved that

for the drive back. I practiced restraint. He opened it, sniffed it, and went, no, not right now. I don't know why I got that. And even the chips, I was like, I only needed a drink.

I was thirsty. And I confused it for hunger. But it was while I was perusing the chips, deciding if I wanted to roll the dice on those wasabi Doritos again, which I think just enough times passed for me to be like, I think I did like them. They're yum, but then they punch you afterwards. Yeah, they really.

The other ones, the southern chicken, that's the best flavour. Southern chicken? Well, the other flavour. What about the chicken ones we had? They're real nice. Oh, sticky chicken.

Sticky chicken. Sticky barbecue chicken. Yeah, that was a legit flavour, but I haven't seen them for a while. And it was while I was perusing the chips that a guy said to me, hey. And I didn't react.

Hey. And then I did react to me, hey, and I didn't react. Hey. And then I did react on the second hey, and I turned around and he was looking at me. I was like, oh, hello. And he said, are you the ZM Roadrunner? I think we call them Black Thunders. We do. He didn't know that.

Yeah. And I said, beg your pardon? And he said, because I thought I'll give him a chance to say Black Thunder, you know. Yeah. He didn't know that. Yeah. And I said, beg your pardon? And he said, because I thought, I'll give him a chance to say Black Thunder, you know. Yeah.

Know your radio station promo teams, guy. And he's like, you're the ZM Roadrunner. And I was like, beg your pardon? No. No.

And he's like, oh, I thought I saw you get out of the car outside, which is the ZM Black Thunder car. Yeah. And I said, oh, yeah, yeah.

Yep. I did. So this baffled him. And he's like, oh, so you are a ZM Roadrunner? I said, no. And he said, but you got out of the car. I said, yes. You didn't think to help him out at any point.

You're just going to let him flounder. No, I was going to see where we were going to end up. We'd started this journey. We'd fastened our seatbelts. Let's see where we go. And he said, but you got in the car. I said, yeah. He said, that's out of it.

I was like, well, I suppose it is a bit out of it. And he's like, okay. I was like, why though? May I ask why? And he's like, okay. I was like, why though? May I ask why? And he's like, I'm just going to ask if you've got any free stuff. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I didn't say like, no, we don't have free stuff. So then we engaged in this awkward eye contact for a while.

And he's like, so do you? I was like, do I what? Oh, do you have any free stuff? I said, oh, no. That's why I'm buying these chips. Otherwise, I'd probably just eat the free stuff. And he was like, oh, okay. All right, I'll leave you to it then. I was like, yeah, all right. Well, have a good day. And he's like, yeah, yeah, you too. Have a good day. And he walked away and he said to his mate, nah, mate. And that was all he said. No free stuff? No free stuff. Wow. So I don't know if his

mate have, he was, you know, you've always and your mates, you've always got the mate that does the talking. Yeah. And the mate that does the ideas. And he's like you should go and ask that guy for free stuff. He's like, I'm the guy that does the talking. I'll go and ask that guy for some free stuff. That's when Anya gave you a burn. She said you're too

old to be. Far too old to be a thunder driver burn. She said you're too old to be a... Far too old to be a thunder driver. Far too old and unattractive to be a thunder driver. We don't want that representing our brand. So she... Absolutely, how dare all of you. I could do an absolutely tight and bright ZM Black Thunder Cross.

You couldn't? No, because someone would come up to you and be like, hey, Vaughan, you'd be like, nope, not today. Don't feel like people. You would be the most terrible people person to be a promo person. You're not bright and bubbly. You don't want to talk to people. You've got a great point there.

Okay, give us your, we call them crosses. Give us your, this thing that plays. This is what you hear on the radio. And for example. It tells you where the promo people are and what they're giving away. You're giving away bags of mandarins. Okay. And you've got to be at a hotspot.

Okay. Where people can pull up and see you. Get me mandies. Bag of mandarins. Give me a city, I'll tell you the hotspot. Wellington. You're in Wellington in the Black Thunder. Okay, yep.

Okay. So you finish, you say ZM. Are you going to do pumping music in the background? Have you got one of those ZM things and then I'll come in like. I don't know where they keep them. They play them before and after the ads. You know those things. Oh, those things.

Yeah. One of those? Oh, I guess I could just play this. Yeah, sure. Okay. Okay. So you just say. Zed M. Hey, everybody.

It's Vaughn for the Zeddy and Black Thunders. I'm down here at Frank Kitts Park. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Don't interrupt. Roll from the top. Don't interrupt. I'll be here forever.

Sorry, mate. Sorry. Zed M. Hey, everybody. It's Vaughn from the Zeddy and Black Thunders, and I'm down at Frank Kids Park and I've got

mandarins to give away so if your kids have got scurvy and I know the kids this time of year have all got the scurvy come on down to Frank Kids Park

and grab some mandarins easy to peel seedless mandarins I mean it's 2019 nearly 2020 who's eating mandarins with seeds in them so bring your kids down

but don't be greedy don't keep sending them up like one by one for a different bag of mandarins because I'm going to be on to you. I'm going to tell you to piss off because I don't care if you listen or not. You can't be greedy when it comes to mandarins. Just a reminder where I am, Frank Kitts Park. It's born for the ZDM Black Thunders. Brought to you by Bollie Sunglasses.

My favourite is the shoulder pop when you're like, just a reminder where I am. just a reminder where I am. Just a reminder where I am. That was pretty amateur, to be honest. Pretty amateur. You can't tell people to bring their kids down and then tell them to piss off. How much do we pay our part-time?

Not enough. What, like 80 bucks an hour? What's the going rate? Oh no, I'll do it. As a site, no, I don't think you will. No one's asking you to do it. We're not asking you to do it, is the thing. Oh, really?

This is a goodie fit. Okay, well, let's just add that to the pile of mean things people have said about me. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Hey, just before, I left out some vital information about the mandarins. Somebody said, how long will I be at Frank Hitt's Park with the mandarins? Sorry, we're all out of mandarins. I've already left. Oh, you've already left.

Yeah, I actually left before the cross played because people were so ferocious about the mandarins. Right. They say they're a radio promo vehicle. They store me for free stuff. Yeah. And they were gone before I even told you guys where I was. That's why you'll never be a Black Thunder because you didn't say how long you're going to be there for.

Someone could be driving in from Petone. No, I'm going out to Petone tomorrow with my mandarins. Don't come to me. I'll come to you. Right. Okay. There's no mandarins. If you've just joined the show,

this is a very confusing time for you. Just forget everything you've heard in the last minute. Yeah. Israel Folau has settled his legal dispute with Rugby Australia. It makes me so angry. He's got a shitload of money. $8 million. Is that the rumour?

That is the rumour. Because it was a confidential settlement. So he was looking for $14 million in compensation. His contract was $4 million, right? Was it $4 million? But then is he arguing he's lost out on way more than that because of... And he said he was going to be captain of the... Yeah.

So the rumour is that it was $8 million for the settlement. It is supposed to be secret. He's still got that post on his Instagram too. The hateful, homophobic post. He doesn't want to admit defeat. The guy's a piece of shit. Let's not beat around the bush. And that's my freedom of speech.

And I'm entitled to it. We've got to try and take the high road and not be like nasty to him. Nah, you take the high road. I'll take the low road. You know exactly how I feel about him. You take both roads. Sure, I'll take both roads. But he and his wife, Maria Folau,

have issued a statement following the negotiations. We are extremely pleased with the settlement reached today. With today's acknowledgement and apology by Rugby Australia, we have been vindicated and can now move on with our lives to focus on our faith and our family. Maria and I would like to thank God for his guidance and strength. We now look forward to the federal government Thank you. For all Australians, apart from the LGBTQI ones. Yeah.

Yeah. They did release a joint statement, Rugby Australia and the Flaus, and it said that they do not condone discrimination of any kind. What? But they do. He does. No, but that's his freedom of speech. I don't know.

So Rugby Australia said that? It was a joint statement saying they do not condone. Well, they, I mean, they've given them a settlement. They also want everyone to know that they don't agree with it. They obviously just wanted to get rid of him. Wanted him to, like, shut him up. But he's not going to shut up because they've just said he doesn't have to shut up. And here's some money for not shutting up.

Yeah, that is unfortunate. God would give me $8 million. We just need to find some better role models. I'm sorry if you looked up to him. He's maybe not the one. Find a better role model. I've got a bunch of stuff I can say, but I'm just trying to work out what's appropriate.

Maybe we'll just leave it there. Maybe we'll leave it there, because maybe you're going to take the high road. No, I was taking the low road. I was knocking in. Megan was taking the high road. I want you to take the high road. No, I was taking the low road. I was knocking in. Megan was taking the high road. I want you to take the high road.

Okay. Is the Uber here? I'm not walking. Six shows to go with producer Caitlin until she's bon voyage. It's a life of crocs and... Scrubs. Scrubs. Hot doctors. Hot doctors. I will not life of crocs and... Scrubs. Scrubs. Hot doctors.

Hot doctors. I will not be wearing crocs. Sorry, I'm just going to put that out there right now. But they're comfortable. Nurses love crocs. I know, but they've got holes in them and you'll stab your toes. I know, I'd drop a syringe and I bet it would go through the hole in the croc. It would be a slow motion watch as the syringe would spin towards your foot

and you're like, is it going to? And enough time for you to be like, oh, I moved my foot, but you're like, where's it going to go? Through the hole into your foot. That would be me. So you're leaving to study in Christchurch next year to become a nurse. Yeah. And it's something you really want to do. Yeah. And so you've

decided to leave us and it is going to be very sad next Friday on your live show. I know. We have decided to take a look at some of those moments that have made us laugh. Okay. And some of our favourite Caitlin moments. Today this was years ago.

How many years ago? Now we are going back into the archive. December 14, 2016. Wow. Three years ago. She is. Okay. And you decided that one of your goals I was 26. You were 26? Yeah.

What would my, is it about a boyfriend? Well, not really. Not directly, but kind of in the same arena. Okay. Alright, prepare yourself. We only became aware of this yesterday that this was even a thing, even a problem,

even something that Caitlin thought about. Producer Caitlin's on the mic. There is a Facebook page, Caitlin, for your hometown. You're from Fairleigh, which is in the South Island? Correct. Right, so she's a pretty small town. Yeah. What is the Facebook page to do with Fairley

that we found you looking at yesterday? Guys, I really want to be on Fairley's Babe of the Day. Because my brother has been on Fairley's Babe of the Day. And my mum commented on the photo and said, so proud. So who uploads and selects the babes of the day? I have no idea. This is what I need to find out.

Because the last one wasn't until, like the last one was uploaded October. So I don't know if they ran out of babes. Or they just stopped. Well, I would have thought they would have. Because there's 700 people that live there. There's only 700 people there. Yeah. You know.

I deserve to be on this page. Not been on. But if you're demanding it though, it's not. Please. No, you're begging. Don't demand and don't demand. Why do you care? Because then I've made it. I've made it. Earlier

today we were having a discussion. If you've been listening to the show all morning you might remember this discussion if not. Just a quick catch up. What is the one thing you want to achieve before the end of 2016? Oh no shut up. Shut up. Caitlin earlier today revealed to us she

wants nothing more than to be Feely's babe of the day. Her hometown of a population of 700 people. And during the chat about it, we found out What? We found out Wait a minute. We found out that it hasn't been active for three years.

Her brother was Feely's babe of the day over three years ago. Why do you want to be on this website, this page, Caitlin? It's so great. Well, I got in touch with them and I said, I know you've been out of business for three years, but I was wondering if you could charge up

the old Fairleys Baby of the Day because my Christmas present to Caitlin would be her being Fairleys Baby of the Day. And I sent through your four favourite pictures that you always send to me. Now, which one should I make as my profile picture? Did you send through this photo? No, I did not.

I can prove that I did not send that photo. This is not okay. This photo is on the internet. I didn't do anything. I didn't do this. They found that themselves. You are not my

favourite. They found that photo. I didn't do this. They found that themselves. You are not my favourite. They found that photo. I didn't. Who is this person that's in Philly? I don't know. It's an anonymous page. Who's going to explain what the photo is? I'll read the caption.

Can I explain it? Yeah, you read the caption and I'll actually explain it. So Caitlin's actually made it. Three years and two months after this page deactivated, they charged it up. Lads and lasses of Feely, we are back. By popular request by the one and only Caitlin Marrett. We heard she was just dying to be Feely's babe of the day.

And you know, we're all about making dreams come true. Though she ran off to Craighead and Timmers and then Auckland and left Wee Feley in her distant memory. She does pop into the Fairley Bakery on occasion, so she still passes as a local. Who can resist that Zooey Deschanel fringe and those eyes as blue as everybody's favourite Bic ballpoint pen? We have been told she's migrating back to Fairley for the summer.

Oh, God. So pop round and take her for a raspberry and coke and a fish basket at the Gladstone pub. You won't regret it. And underneath there's a picture of Caitlin with a sign that says... I don't even know if I can say it. I don't know if you should say that.

Okay, I'll explain it. Okay, you explain it and then we'll say what the sign is. When the Queen... No, not the Queen. Who came? The royal family. Prince Harry. Prince Harry and Kate. No, no, no, Kate the Queen. Who came? The royal family. Prince Harry. Prince Harry and Kate.

No, no, no, Kate and William. Kate and William. Kate and William came like four years ago. And it was raining. It was like a week of raining when I lived in Wellington. And for some reason, I didn't make the sign. One of the people that I worked with decided to make the sign and was like, hey, this is a sign that you're going to hold up.

And I turned it around and it said, wet from the rain and waiting. And they made me hold up the sign saying wet and waiting. That was into an Anna you heard laughing in the background. If you're not on the Feely Babe of the Day page, well, I think we should probably screen cap that and put it on our Facebook page.

No, that's a terrible sign. And we've made your dream come true and you don't sound grateful. No, well, yeah, thank you very much. I think made your dream come true, and you don't sound grateful. No, well, yeah. Thank you very much. I think you look great. I don't know what Mum will say, but that's really nice. And just one of the many dreams we've made come true for you, Caitlin. I do.

I really appreciate that one, guys. Thank you. As we look back at some of your favourite moments working with us before you leave. Fairleys Baby of the Day page no longer active, no longer there. But am I still up there? No, it's gone. The page is gone. Luckily, I found a screen cap, so

we'll be putting that on our Facebook page. Not with the photo! Yes. You look great in the photo. It's so thirsty. It's a thirst trap. Is that what the kids are calling a thirst trap? Then we didn't call it a thirst trap in 2016. Right. Does that have a different meaning?

You were thirst trapping before thirst trapping. Oh, I started it. Yeah. Okay, good for me. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to... Who left their email ding on? Was that you?

Aren't you? I'm recording. The Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast. Thanks to Spark Wrap up any mobile this Christmas With a Spark prepaid gift box You can turn your dinger on now aren't you Okay so someone's had a tan to get NATO

NATO is where lots of leaders I'm going to attempt to explain this Lots of world leaders go to have a meeting And chat about important things The world In the world. Well, and goings on in the North Atlantic, I'd imagine. Yes.

Now, there is audio of this incident that's happened overnight. And, I mean, this may be how we tell our kids and grandkids how World War III started. I don't know. They're all having a beverage. Yeah, World War I was like there was an assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. And then it just all kicked off. And World War II, you know, Adolf Hitler rose to power.

Yeah. And then he started committing all these crimes and invasions of the country surrounding World War III. Someone was mean to Donald Trump. Yeah. So there is a group of world leaders, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister.

Who else was there? Emmanuel Macron. Yeah, he's the French president. And was it Prince Margaret? Princess Anne. Princess Anne was in the group and maybe one or two others. Yes.

Now, there is audio. I can play it, but you can't, without seeing their lips and seeing the captions, it's hard to hear. But you've got the actual transcript. I'll talk you through what's being said.

Okay. So he says, Boris Johnson starts off with, is that why he was late? Then Justin Trudeau says he was late because he takes a 45-minute press conference. About Donald Trump? Yeah. Yeah.

He carries on to go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he announced. And then the rest is kind of inaudible because Emmanuel Macron's got his back to us and we can't hear. Yeah. And they're having a jolly old laugh. And that's when Justin Trudeau comes back in and he says, oh, Princess Anne's having a laugh. Yeah. She shouldn't be involved in that.

And you can very easily, not in this audio we're playing you, but you can very easily see when you watch it, Justin Trudeau saying, I've watched his team's jaws drop to the floor. And then they all have a laugh and Princess Anne says something. Pretty dry voice as well. But that's like quite big. Like they are in a public area. Having a goss and a laugh at, I mean, he's the President of the United States.

And that's not really appropriate at that moment. No, it's something you do behind closed doors, not when there are media cameras. Especially Princess Anne, because they're not supposed to have opinions on political things. They're supposed to stay right out of it. Well, Trump has cancelled his press conference and has left NATO in a tizzy. And he's called Justin Trudeau two-faced.

Yeah. And now Justin Trudeau's had to come out and kind of say, yes, I did. He's like, I'm not two-faced. Remember, I'm the guy that did blackface. Oh, yeah, true. So I guess you could say I've got two faces. This white face and that one I don't talk about anymore.

The Daily Show unearthed a tweet from Donald Trump in 2014. So two years before he was president. Two years before he was president saying, we need a president that's not a laughingstock. Donald Trump said that. Yeah. Oh, no. About Obama.

He believes they've got one now. He thinks he's not a laughingstock. Yeah. But I, on the back of this, I wondered, because have you ever overheard people you know, like work colleagues or friends talking about you and they don't know you're there? Yeah. Like, this would be the, like, colleagues or friends talking about you and they don't know you're there. Yeah.

Like this would be the like extreme version of that. It's all over world media. Yeah. You're laughing. You're being laughed at. And it's all over the news. And everyone's joining in. You think you want to know what people really think about you,

but when you hear it, you don't. You don't. You don't. No, it turned out you didn't. You didn't, yeah. I remember hearing we were staying in some rooms during Ryan camp and I could hear- Is that the one where you kissed a guy? Fletch. I know that's another story.

Oh, I'm getting that look. Don't continue this story. That was a different one. Don't start down that. That was by the KFC in Tahuna. Yeah, that was on there. The guy was on the bonnet of the Sabari Forest. It wasn't on the bonnet. It was by the KFC in Tahuna. Yeah, that was on there. The guy was on the bonnet of the Subaru Forester. It wasn't on the bonnet.

It was beside it. Get your facts straight. Someone was on the bonnet. Fake news. Fake news. Megan was sat up on the bonnet. No, I wasn't. He was standing beside it.

No, this was a separate time. Different rowing camp. Right. And we're in these little dorm rooms and all the girls were in the other room. And I was in, I can't remember who was in my room, but I was in there by myself. And I could hear them through the walls talking. And then I heard my name. And so I did the stupid thing where you put your ear up to the wall.

And I could hear them all bitching about me and calling me. But did you stop listening? No, I couldn't. I couldn't. What did they say? Well, they were saying that I was like trying to steal someone else's boyfriend. And I mean, they weren't wrong. But

in my defence, he gave me a ring and he was flirting back with me. And I don't know if I knew that he had a girlfriend at the time. But what were they saying about you? Were they calling you names? Yeah. Yeah. And you remember it to this day. I do. Look at you. I do.

It was awful. Like hearing people saying terrible things about you. And these were like people that I was supposed to be kind of friends with. Yeah. Apart from the one whose boyfriend you were trying to steal. Yeah, apart from that. I mean, it did sound like you deserved it. He gave me a ring.

It's on him too. Yeah, that's very naughty of him. He was naughty. Okay, well, on the back of this, can we take some calls? Have you ever been in the situation where you've caught your friends or people you know talking about you behind your back? What did they say? Because it's no doubt still burnt in your memory. It could be something good.

Maybe it was like. Oh, no, but no one's going to be like, oh, my God, I overheard my friends and they were saying like how charitable and nice I am. Yeah. And how I'm always there for them. No one's gossiping about someone like that behind their back. Oh, that's true. Are they?

No. We're not going to hear any stories of good. No. Just the bad ones. So 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. When have you overheard friends or workmates talking about you and what did they say? Give us a call. Talking about those things you've overheard people saying about you when they didn't know you were there.

Some text messages in, and no surprise, it's mostly bad stuff. Well, I said I don't think people say nice things about people when they're not in the room, because it's a waste, isn't it? I overheard my so-called... Always say your nice things to their face, because then it's not wasted. Exactly. I overheard my so-called best mate telling a guy that sure, you could go for her, but I thought you were the sort of person that

would like a challenge, indicating that she was easy. Easy pickings. Oh, wow. That's instant dismissal of a best friend, isn't it? I got accidentally Snapchatted and my friend was bitching to her boyfriend about me saying that I didn't chat to her in the rain. It was raining.

I wanted to stay dry. That's a fair enough situation, I believe. Yeah. Anonymous, what did someone say about you? What happened? So when I was in high school, I broke up with my boyfriend in the weekend, and one of my best friends had hooked up with him that same weekend. And at school on Monday, I was walking around to, like, where we were all having lunch

and I was all depressed. And I heard the girl say, oh, yeah, but who cares? She's a mean, hard S word anyway. And then one of the other girls nudged her and was like, there she is. And I was like, oh, hi guys, what's going on? And they were like,

oh, we're just talking about how one of the other girls stole someone's lunch. Bad on the spotlight. Wow. So you just pretended you didn't hear what they'd said? Yes, because I was like, oh my God, they all hate me. And you still sound really cut up and salty about that.

I would be too, but how many years ago was that? Oh, like 15. Cut deep. Still, yeah. All right, anonymous, thanks for your call. Joyce, you've actually heard someone say something nice about you. Yes, I do, and that's why I wanted to ring, because I have to prove Fletetch wrong that people do say what you think people say nice things when people

aren't around it's all that's odd joyce they sure do okay so what did you overhear someone saying about you so i was applying for jobs and i listed with a recruitment agency and the person who was managing my CV rang me and I missed the call and so she left a voicemail but obviously she didn't press end and so she was talking in the background with someone else about me and when I listened to the voicemail I realized what was happening and just couldn't hang up I had to listen to the whole voicemail. Yeah. And so she was actually saying really nice things to the other person. Like she was really trying to like bat for me.

Right. So she was saying like, I didn't have exactly what they were looking for, but you could see that I am quite smart and have good skills and all this lovely stuff about me. Oh, that's nice. It's so much nicer when you know they mean it because you're not there to hear it.

Yeah. They didn't have to say it. And she had no idea that it was recording, so, like, you know that it was real genuine. Did you get the job, Joyce? Not for that one. I got a different one instead. Oh, well.

It all worked out. Yeah. Joyce, thanks for your call. Flesh, Vaughan and Megan. The Podcast. ZM. My, uh, it's ever increasing. Right. My influence over New Zealand politics is spreading. I'm a step

closer to assuming control. You are a step closer to being the Prime Minister. Correct. Wow. It was a few weeks ago now. Yep. In the heat of the moment, we're talking about Caitlin's parking ticket, Caitlin's reimbursement or reparation.

Oh, reparation. Where she thought it meant reprimanding, that in the heat of the moment, we thought being spanked by Andrew Little would be kind of hot. He's the Justice Minister. Yeah, and we said, Andrew Daddy Thick Snack Little, and that kind of took off and he changed his name and there was a bit of thing about it. Well, so he, on his official Twitter handle, changed his name.

This is a member of Parliament. Minister of Justice. To Daddy Thick Snack. Little. Yeah, and people, all the journos were just like, what's going on here? There's like important people that follow him that were also like, what's happened? Yeah. It was like tweet about justice, tweet about politics stuff, more justice tweets.

And then it was like, Daddy Thicksnack. Yeah. It was weird. We were all just like, what's going on here? It was unexpected. He embraced it though. Good sport. Good sport.

Kind of had a little bit of a run. However yesterday we were alerted to the fact that on was it on Parliament TV? Yeah it was said in Parliament. So this is on record. That's that weird channel

when you're flicking through and most of the time it's just a green screen with saying up next on Parliament TV and you're like oh it must be in five minutes. It's like in 10 days time.

Have you ever watched? My nan loves it. Like accidentally started watching it. They bicker like children. Oh, yeah. And they call each other names. Oh, they are very in the queue. And you're just like, these are the people running our country.

And they're like basically roasting each other. They're basically doing everything your parents told you not to do with your siblings growing up. Yeah, I know. And they're doing it. And getting paid told you not to do with your siblings growing up. Yeah, I know. And they're doing it and getting paid a pretty penny to do it. But yesterday in Parliament, what were they talking about? Some change to voting stuff. That's what they talk about all the time.

It was about a bill and using nicknames or something. And I think it was... You have to put your real name that's on your passport rather than nicknames for whatever they were talking about. Yeah. Basically, somebody said, people will just use nicknames. And this was the reply to why people wouldn't use nicknames. From Andrew Daddy Thick Snack Little.

Now, that is simply, you know, ensuring that aliases are not used. You could not use Daddy Thick Snack, for example, on the promoter statement. It would have to be the name of the person, if you like, as recognised in the register of birth, deaths and marriages. So that happened in New Zealand Parliament yesterday. I think he thought this would be kind of funny,

but then he rushed it. He panicked. He didn't wait, but then I don't know if there was enough people there to laugh anyway. Also, Fletch and I laughed over that, but it's actually really quiet in Parliament after he drops it. No one's laughing.

Do you want to hear about it? Yeah, we won't laugh. Okay, well, here, this is post it. Ensuring that aliases are not used. You could not use Daddy Thick's neck, for example, on the promoted statement. He just gave that like a, ah, ah, ah. He needed a quarter of a pause to see if there was any uptake.

Yeah, no. And there wasn't, so he just came and moved on. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's Parliament. It's not a stand-up comedy club, is it? No, no. No, it's not. But, like, that is now.

And saying that, Paula Bennett taking that bag of oregano yesterday was some pretty good prop comedy. Yeah, it was, yep. Who would smoke this much? Well, we wouldn't, Paula, because it's oregano. Oregano. I think you'd really struggle to even get that much on a pizza. Yeah, it'd be overkill, wouldn't it?

But it's amazing though that that is now like in the New Zealand records for eternity in history. It's been immortalised. Daddy Thick Snack will be down as an official question time response to like a serious question. So they write all that down. Yeah. So a very interesting point on the internet yesterday

that dinosaurs were all named like just over 100 years ago, 150 to 100 years ago. Yeah. And it was all because the people at the time were obsessed with like Latin and making themselves seem like smart because of Latin. Right. So that's why they're called like the Latin words for terrible lizards and stuff. Right.

And so I said, thank God we're not naming them, like coming across them now and naming them. They'd all be like Chunkasaurus Daddy Thick Snack Rex. Daddy Thick Snack Rex and stuff. That's true though, isn't it? Yeah. And Scary McScary Face. Yeah. Oh yeah. R, isn't it? Yeah. Scary McScaryface. Yeah, oh yeah.

Rory McRoryteeth. Tromper McBiterson. Good morning, New Zealand. I'm about to tell you the story of how someone nearly, a stranger nearly saw my peachy yesterday. Peachy, okay. So yesterday I went home I had a nasty text on the text machine

And I put up a thing on my Instagram And just basically Called them out So I went home And I got some very, very kind messages Thank you for all those people who text Who messaged them in to me Very nice messages

But I was going through and trying to thank everyone In the bath Very kind messages. Thank you for all those people who text those, who message them in to me. Very nice messages. But I was going through and trying to thank everyone. In the bath. So yes, like, baths are my thing. And I was like, treat yourself. A day bath? I always have day baths. A day bath?

Yeah. You have more baths than any other adult I know. It's my me time. You and my mum. Yeah, it's a real boomer thing. Couple of middle-aged ladies having a lot of time. You bitch. How often do you have to turn the hot tap on? No, see, I have it scalding hot.

We finally learnt what she spends her power bill on. The one thing that she pays for because they sit with their lights off and no heat pump on during winter. So the one thing she pays for is hot water. Yeah, it's a bath. No, I had it scalding hot like I can barely get in it. And then it takes ages to cool down. Right.

So I was having a bath and I had a face mask on and I was- Treat yourself. I know. I was like, stuff this a-hole on the text machine. I'm going to treat myself. So I was risking it too because I was in the bath on my phone. Yeah, because you could drop that at any moment. But I'm pretty good at it now because I was in the bath on my phone. Yeah, because you could drop that at any moment. But I'm pretty good at it now

because I'm well practiced. Do you have one of those tables that go across the bath so you can put your cheese and wine on? But if someone wants to get me one of those for Christmas,

I'd much appreciate it. I'll give you one of those for Christmas. Would you? We should get one of those old pallets. No. On the side of the...

They swell. Yeah, don't make me one. Because I made one out of some plywood I had. No, I'm going to hand make they swell. Yeah, don't make me one. Because I made one out of some plywood I had. No, I'm going to hand make you one. No, don't make me one. Because I've got power tools.

We should make one. No, don't make me one. Let's do that. We're going to make you a bath shelf. Is that what you call them? A bath shelf. We'll do it out of recycled...

We'll cut down a cowrie tree. That's not how recycling works. Oh, you know we're not allowed... That's exactly what recycling is, Megan. What else are you going to do with that tree? Let it rot? It's reused, reduced, recycled. What else are you going to do with that tree? Let it rot? It's reused, rejuiced, recycled.

You could probably buy me one for like $20 and not go to all that effort. No, Vaughan and I are going to hand, and then we'll get that thing. I'll get splinters. What was that thing in Workshop where you burn in and you can write? Dude, I've found one. It's like, this is going to be way easier. What? $20 from the warehouse.

I told you. Oh, 17 bucks from Kmart. Who wants to go lower than that? I had $20 at the warehouse and I've got $17 at Kmart. Well, warehouse, if you're listening, if you can do that for 16, we're there. Stevens, I'm looking at you. Oh, Stevens. I'm going to go below 17.

Bougie ass Stevens. You're buying me a Stevens one. Well, warehouse, balls in your court. Yeah, balls in your court, warehouse. So, yeah, I don't have one of those. So, they do a price match. It's not the same product, though, is it? No.

Which one looks nicer? Pretty close. It's pretty close. Okay. I'm imagining both were made in a Southeast Asian country. Out of lovely teak wood. No, that bamboo. Oh, okay.

That's good then. Lovely. Okay. So, here's the scene. Got my face mask on. It's not a pretty one. It's good then. Lovely. Okay. So here's the scene. Got my face mask on. It's not a pretty one. It's a brown mud one blotched all over my face. Naked, obviously, in the bath.

Don't make that face. Do you both naked? I'm always closed. You like to do it in your speedos, eh? Just in case. You see yourself. And sitting there with my phone, replying to lovely messages.

Now, these lovely messages were from men and women. Thank you very much to the men who took the time to reply. Because it was a man that riled you up, wasn't it? Well, actually, we don't know that for sure. But from the text, I would say, probably. Now, if you go to Instagram and you go to where you're writing messages to someone and your DMs, you'll notice that up the top is the camera.

The little camera. The camera icon. Yeah, and if they're online at the same time, it spins. Like they're available for a video chat. So instead of, I tried to scroll, and if you scroll too close up there, you hit the camera. Again, you've hit the camera. Well, I'm assuming you've hit the camera, and you're naked in the bath.

As I'm replying to a guy. Yeah, right. No bath caddy. This is a problem with no bath caddy. The bath caddy would probably cover. $119 at Stephen's a bath caddy. Oh, no. That's $100 more expensive than the warehouse in Kmart.

What, does it have a wine, because some of them have wine holes where you can put the glass and it goes into the hole. No, this is, look, I'm telling you, it can't have any more features than the $17 one. Well, no, because it could have Bluetooth charging or speakers or something. No, look, that one's got the bougie little, you slide the glass. Oh, that's cool. It's got a book holder. Got a couple of there. I can put my phone in the book holder, right, that one's got the bougie little, you slide the glass. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that is, it's got a book holder. Got a couple of there.

I can put my phone in the book holder, right? And that's adjustable width too. Oh, that's nice. This isn't an ad for Kmart's bath caddy. Oh, is that the Kmart one? I thought there was a, I thought that was the Flash Stevens one. $17.

Lovely. Someone said they're a bed, bath and pee on you. They're charging. Oh, yeah. It's my secret Santa listening because we've got a $20 limit for that. Yeah, it's $17. And they can buy you a $3 scratchy. Or a $3 bath bomb.

I'll play. I'll play. Yeah, okay. So I've hit the camera. Sorry, okay. So back to you're naked. You're in the bath. No bath, caddy.

Tried to scroll on a DM on Instagram. And you've accidentally video called. Yeah. You've hit the video call. Do you know the moment where you're not expecting to do a FaceTime or a video call and you're like what's happened here? What is this? It's like

a skin colour. How is this? You're like what is happening here? Almost like you're like yuck. What is that? And it's calling this stranger who sent me a lovely message, granted. Yeah.

He's a guy and I'm about to video call him a frightful picture of me naked in the bath. Now my question is, do I know when he's picked up? Because there was a beat. There was a beat when it was definitely calling. You could see me naked. Oh my God. And I did hang up. But is there a possibility that he had picked up before I'd hung up?

No, not no. But there is. Next time he goes on, it'll say video chat ended. Like that you tried to call him. So he's like, I'll see you in a minute. I was like, forget about this guy. What a loser. You're great. And then you're like, I need to talk to this guy.

You're going to look like a creep either way. He doesn't know you're in the bath until now. So now it's even worse. Yeah. Yeah, okay. As long as he didn't see my pastry. But I don't think he would have seen the... I think you're fine. I am on the Be Bath and Beyond website.

I can't find any. I've searched... What would you search? Bath tray? Caddy. Caddy. It's called a caddy. Just search caddy.

Don't put bath. Just put caddy. No, nothing under caddy. Just... Caddy. Because I don't have a shower. There's a shower caddy. They've got shower caddies.

Oh, no. Here we go. A bamboo bath rack. Yeah. That's $49.90. No, see? What? Yeah, no. Don't tell me it's any better quality either

Because it's all bamboo isn't it Someone works at Stevens And they say the only one they have is $119 Go with the Kmart one Somebody said Bunnings is rocking them at $70 But Bunnings They won't price match unless it's the same brand Huh

Really Well I feel like we've got to see the Kmart one before we give it to you. No, I'm all down for the Kmart one. I don't know. It looks great. Why are rusts? You don't want to have a rusty bit in your bath. No, no, it's not.

It's stainless steel. Let me have a look here. I mean, we can probably do the online shopping off air, Vaughn. Well, I think everybody's really invested now. It's got pretty good reviews. Four and a half stars. Sandra D, not the one from Greece,

she said, looks good and fits the bath. I was worried it wouldn't as it is right against the wall. That's good to know. You've got a wall. It's on the wall. But Sandra D's one works. Moya says, great, perfect to relax in the bath? It's a situated bath. Yeah, it is. But Sandra Dee's one works. Moya says,

great, perfect to relax in the bath. That's good. Tanya, she's a verified buyer, looks great in my bathroom. This is some good reviews. The Bed Bath & Beyond one apparently was on sale

the other day for $11. Oh, well, you missed that. We might still be. Might still be. All right, we'll give that a look. We'll be sure to keep you in the loop. So are we doing Christmas presents for each other now? No, you'll just buy me that. It might still be. It might still be. All right, we'll give it a look. We'll be sure to keep you in the loop. So are we doing Christmas presents for each other now? No, you'll just buy me that.

I'm not. No, no. I'm not buying. I thought we decided to pass that on to Megan's Secret Santa. Fact of the day is about the telephone. Okay. I learned this off the Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast. It's my favourite podcast at the moment. Every day you're like, you'll never guess what Conan's been talking about.

And it's interesting. I'm going to have a listen. I might listen on holidays. It's one of those, he sits down with people that he already kind of knows most of them. Some that he streams with, some he kind of knows, and some that he's only ever talked to on a show. Yeah. And he just talks to them for like an hour.

It's awesome. Interesting. It's really good if you like the person too. Good insight. Yeah, right. So he It's really good if you like the person too. Good insight. Yeah, right. So he, at one stage, was talking about, one of the guys who produces his phone, his show, bought an old president's telephone.

Right. And Eisenhower's telephone from the summer White House. Right. And it's all authenticated and everything. And they were talking about old phones. And he said he was, Conan O'Brien worked on The Simpsons. Right. In the early days of The Simpsons.

And you might be familiar with the fact that Mr. Burns answers the phone, ahoy hoy, on The Simpsons. He's like, ahoy hoy? How? Why though? Well, that was the preferred way. Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the telephone, he wanted that to be the telephone specific

greeting. Ahoy hoy. We'll be saying that. You would answer when you pick it up, you'd be like ahoy hoy. Like specifically for the telephone. You wouldn't say it to people in person. Ahoy hoy ZM. Yep, you'd actually call a four. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That would be how it would go

but rather than hello because he said hello already exists. Yeah, right. As a personal greeting it would go. But rather than hello, because he said hello already exists. Yeah, right. As a personal greeting, there needs to be a greeting specific for. And they were such like history fanatics in the writer's room at the Simpsons. They thought, you know, Mr. Burns is always referred to as being so old. Yeah. They thought he would be familiar with the way that the inventor of the telephone wanted everybody to answer the phone.

And that's why Mr. Burns answers the phone. Well, I think people should try doing that today. Just to mix it up. Ahoy hoy. Ahoy hoy. Why not? It's a nice one. It's a formal greeting designed specifically for the telephone. So today's fact of the day is although we say

hello, the initial way of greeting someone over the telephone was supposed to be ahoy hoy. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. A mum has gone viral sharing her Christmas shopping hack with her kids. Is it not taking them? Okay, well, it's if you have to take them. A mum has gone viral sharing her Christmas shopping hack with her kids. Is it not taking them?

Okay, well, it's if you have to take them, how to stop them going on and on and nagging and like, I want this, I want this. Because I'm assuming that happens. I still do that. Mum! But with shoes, eh? Instead of toys. Mum, can you buy me linen?

Oh, boring. No, because I don't want to pay for it. Yeah, no, fair enough. Good call. Still boring though. Get something cooler, but sure. Her hack is if you're in a store and the kids are always like,

I want that toy, I want that toy. Yeah. What you do is you say, okay, well, let's take a photo of you with this toy and we'll send it to Santa. Or we'll send it to granny or we'll send it to Santa. Or we'll send it to granny or we'll send it to your uncle. And then make it Santa's problem.

And then you send it and the kid poses with the toy. Yeah. You take a photo. It's over in five seconds and they stop moaning because you've basically given this open-ended promise. I like to think right now, school run,

lots of mums in the car driving, being like, this is a great idea. But the kids, she looks in the rearview mirror and all the kids are looking at her being like, well, we know now. We know. Don't even try it, Sarah. No, but it doesn't mean that you're not going to get it. You've just put it on Santa or the aunties and uncles.

And then that way, she's saying that, you know, if you're walking around the store, they're not still going on about it. Because you've dealt with the situation and you've said, okay, well, it's in Santa's or it's in Santa's hands now. Also, if you take a photo and send it to Santa, then Santa's going to be like watching. If you go on and on and on about it in the store, that's naughty. Yes. So you've got to then be good. Otherwise, Santa won't bring it.

Or again, put it on like Your auntie Or dad that's not around Yeah I've sent it to your dad Yeah Wow Really stoking that fire Before Christmas

And then like Yeah dad's got to put Put out with the good present Doesn't he Also very helpful though To know Because nothing Then you've got the other end.

If you're not listening when they're saying, I'd like that, I'd like that, you get to Christmas and you're like, oh, what do they want? Yeah, and then you've got a record of actually

what they want as well if you took them to a toy store. And then you can look back at some of the photos and be like, dreaming. Absolutely dreaming.

Stupid kid doesn't know how long I have to work to pay for this. Yeah, okay, I'll buy a slot car set but they're not playing with it. That's my slot car set. Would this work for you with Mr. Toyboy? He's like, all right, we'll take a photo of these expensive shoes.

And then we've got a record of it. Right, I thought you meant when I take him to the toy store. I was like, huh, funny. Oh, no, I meant for you. Yeah, right. No. Not really, because in your mind you'd be like, I'll Google that later and buy them online. He literally always says,

we're one of the other 20 pairs that you've got. He raises a very valid point. It seems we're getting more organised in this car when it comes to Christmas shopping, which is great, New Zealand. I'm proud of you. Right. Because you guys always say that I'm on my own

because I try and get it done by mid-November. I've got all of mine done. I've wrapped everything already, and it's December 5. You keep that quiet. How much do you do? You don't do much. Yeah, it's just gift cards and envelopes.

No, there's actual wrapping. What does your wrapping look like? Why did you not send me a picture? Well, it's just because you wouldn't tease me because you're one of these people that wraps things precisely. I'm just like, slap it together. I did paper shame Anya.

She bought one of those trio packs with three different colours. Yeah, those are the ones that Anya, I'm the same as you. I buy those because they're cheap from like came out in the warehouse. You don't even coordinate. Get one paper.

Foil or thin paper? Well, it's thin paper, isn't it? Thin paper. Okay, thin paper. And so I ran out? Well, it's thin paper, isn't it? Thin paper. Okay, thin paper. And so I ran out of the little cute sellotape, so I had to use big, chunky packing tape, and I was ripping it with my teeth. It looks horrible, I'm slapping it on. But do you remember that

study was like, if you wrap a present bad, people get more excited because they think it's going to be rubbish, but then it's good. You're pretty much downplaying the present. Exactly. You're under-promising. Exactly. Standard deliverer. But're pretty much downplaying the present. Exactly. You're under-promising and then standard deliverer. Yeah. But I'm organised. I'm done.

Yeah. Well, there is a study that's been done by Trade Me. They've found that 51% of Kiwis already have presents bought, wrapped, and under the tree by the start of December. That's me. I haven't wrapped them because the wrapping is quite a process for me. I need to sit down and take it seriously and I need to get

the folds precise. Do you always cut the end of the paper if you've got too much overhanging flappy bits? Yeah, of course. And the folds at the end need to be identical. You guys need to do what I do. You get the elves on the shelves to do it.

Oh, right. Hey, guys, I know you. Are they good at rapping? Great. Pretty about the same as me, but they do it overnight. It just gives me the night off. I say to them, guys, you know, you're up to some shenanigans around here, and it's getting to the point of the month where maybe you're struggling

for ideas of continued shenanigans to keep playing. What do you mean? It's the 5th of December. I know, but they're elves and they're warming up. And so I say, well, how about you wrap these presents at some stage and they'll do that for me. So you guys should get some little elves.

I can see why Santa's done it for so long. Very helpful. Do you want more stats? Sure. One in four people Had their presents wrapped By the end of October Wow okay that's organised That means bought

As well And wrapped And 47% of people Admitted getting distracted And buying things for themselves Oh I do that every time I thought that would have been higher 47

That's not even half Yeah That's me every time Zeddy's, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan The podcast If you enjoyed this podcast Why not give Zeddy's Seven, that's not even half. Yeah. That's me every time. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. If you enjoyed this podcast, why not give ZM's Bree and Clint a listen too?

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