ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 06 2018

Episode Date: December 5, 2018

We rate Vaughan's Grapefruit, How Do You Know and when were you a good wing-person?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I'll be right as shot, girl. Thanks, Andrew. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. I wouldn't play King's College because they'd make me feel poor. Rock up there, and I think about when we used to go to sports games,

like eight kids in the back of a Falcon. Or Mum's Corolla. Yeah, get out and hop out of a sign-written minivan, like the rich schools. In Hamilton, it was always St. Peter's and St. Paul's. Might be a Mercedes people mover. Yeah, they'd rock up in like some bloody flash-ass personalised van. It's like at rowing, you'd go in your like wooden boat that's been there for like, I don't know, decades. And then all the fancy schools come up with their fibreglass sign written boats. You're like, whatever.

You tried to drag this thing through the water. Our woodwork class sanded this down And gave it a fresh coat of varnish So you watch out over there We're going to be slapped through the water Yeah I know And then just imagine Just being like And it's like

American college football stuff I know Just going to the schools And being like Hey do you want to come Go to this real flash school But this isn't anything new This has been happening for years.

Yeah. Rich schools have been, you know, giving away scholarships. Yeah. What about... I've just never got one. No. Do they ever give scholarships in, like, non-sporting things? Oh.

Do they ever go to other schools and say, let's see your best actor? Oh. Anything like that? You know what? I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah. Or they go to like a school production of Annie Get Your Gun. And they're like, that Annie, she's got something.

You offer her a scholarship. It's only sports, right? No. Man, that kid sure can use a paintbrush. Get him on the King's Roll. Are they going for the best of everything or is it just rugby? I think the best of everything, yeah. Is it even other sports?

Do they have a football team and they're like recruiting? Yeah, they give scholarships in other sports. What about maths? You're real good at algebra. Come on over. Come on over. It's not as sexy though, is it?

Nah. Nah. Hot. Imagine rocking up to the Mathletics competition in a black Mercedes van. Everyone has a bit of, oh shit, where'd they catch the bus here? They got a van. All right, you lot, listen up.

It's story time. Story time. I give Vornamaggan three news headlines and they pick one. Easy. Headline one, brotherly love. Headline two, robber blows it at himself. Headline three. He blows it at himself.

Blows it at himself. I think blows himself up would be probably what they need here in this headline. And headline three, flat earther refuses to pay up after bet. Did he get proven wrong? He did, Megan. He did. Oh, I love that.

Have you seen the latest theory from the Flat Earthers? They think the Earth is a donut. No, stick to one. You said flat. Now is it flat with a hole in the middle? Yeah, it's like a donut. Where's the hole in the middle? At the middle of the North Pole?

Or is that where the sea is? I'd have to look at the thing again, but I was just like, this is bananas. Is it a flat donut or a three-dimensional donut? Or is it a cream-filled donut? It's like if you picked up a Krispy Kreme donut. Yeah, that's the earth. Not glazed, Megan.

Ocean. Oh, my God. Ocean and land and donut. This goes to prove Like they say With all this Trump And politics That's going on at the moment

You just can't Change people's minds You can't argue With these stupid people Oh no no no They believe it And that's it You're never going to win

An argument against A flat earther Or a trumper Yeah Despite facts Actual hard facts It's just strange Because someone had to be like

The earth is flat And someone else Had to be like Yes Also like I watched that SpaceX rocket launch at the start of the week and you watch it go out into the orbit and you see the Earth

is curving. No, that's a video. It's a donut. So the donut argument is just getting around the curvy, right, the curvature argument. I don't know what they've got against this sphere. I do not know what they've got against this sphere. But they do not want it to be one. Correct. I don't know what they've got against this sphere. I do not know what they've got against this sphere.

But they do not want it to be one. Right. I'd rather it was donut shaped. Right. Okay. Which headline do

we want then? Brotherly love. I'd have any of them to be honest. The robber blows that in himself or flat earther refuses to pay up.

Brotherly love. Yeah the dude just blew himself up didn't he? He did. Okay well you've chosen the cutest story, Vaughn. Yay.

We go now to Colorado and a little town. It's called, described here as a swept town. Swept? A swept town. So I guess, what, a town that's barren

and has open plains. A swept town. I'm going to look up what that means. Severance. Yeah, maybe you just sweep through. You don't stop there. It does look like a pretty small town. Right.

Any Google results? What's a swept town? Sweep through. Yeah, okay. Same like that. All right. Well, in this town of Severance in Colorado, it is illegal to throw snowballs.

Oh, I saw this. This is the cutest story ever. Why is it illegal to throw snowballs. Oh, I saw this. This is the cutest story ever. Why is it illegal to throw snowballs? It's surely the upside of living somewhere where it snows. It has been for like, yeah, a very long time.

So apparently there's an ordinance, a larger ordinance that made it illegal to throw or shoot stones or missiles at people, animals,

buildings, trees, and other public or private property or vehicles. Snowballs fell under the definition of missiles. Okay. So there was a town meeting and a nine-year-old boy who's dressed up in a shirt and a bow tie

presented to the council his argument. He said he thinks it's an outdated law and he would like, with his friends, to throw snowballs without getting in trouble. Cute. And they agreed and they overturned and voted unanimously to lift the ban for snowballs. So snowballs are now not included as missiles. Well, that's good.

And so the boy spoke about him and his friends jokingly looking around for police And joking about throwing snowballs But they never did You're telling me a nine year old Overturned a law Significantly older than himself Yes

Because when did you say Well it doesn't say exactly But it sounds like it was a Nearly century old band So That's cool Quite old, very cool That's cool for some kids like Like, it was a nearly century-old band. So, quite old. Very cool. That's cool for some kids, like, I'm doing it.

Yeah, and so now they're allowed to have snowball fights in the town of Severance, and his first victim is believed to be his four-year-old brother who he'd like to throw a snowball at. His name is Dax, and he said his brother is his target. Along with some of his classmates as well. Good on him. That's so cute. Also, just one last line in the story.

It's bizarre. It just goes on, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Dane has a guinea pig, which is illegal in severance too. Oh, wow, this kid is just all about breaking those laws. Wait, they have some outdated laws. No, but he might have one guinea pig. In a lot of places, it's illegal to have one. You've got to have two because they get wildly depressed.

Apparently, there's an outdated law that defines pets only as cats and dogs in this town. So he's also looking into that now. He's got a great future in politics. Yeah, and law. Just righting wrongs and seeking justice. Yeah. A lot to take on.

But I'm just reading the story where the chief censor in New Zealand, this is the office that looks after what can be broadcast, what can be in movie theaters. He would have seen some stuff. He would have seen some things. Because that's their job. I'm guessing when you start out as an intern at the censorship office Yeah

They just give you a pile of movies Yeah they're like watch these You're like oh fun This is going to be such a great job I just get to watch movies all day And at the end of the day you're like The movies are ruined And then PTSD you've seen some stuff

Yeah Because you think about it I don't ever want to watch that centipede movie No But someone had to I can't believe centipede movie. No. But someone had to. I can't believe the centipede got funded. Or was there a sequel? Multiple sequels.

Yeah. Again. And you can't fast forward, eh? Or look away. You've got to pay attention to what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. Awful.

So the Chief Sense has actually done a study in New Zealand on New Zealand youth and how porn affects the lives of New Zealand youth. We might laugh about it. We've certainly laughed about it, but it's actually quite a horrible thing to read, some of these statistics. So a quarter of all children under the age of 12 living in New Zealand. Yes, under 12.

So a quarter of them, one in four under 12 year olds, have seen pornography in New Zealand Twelve Yes Under twelve So a quarter of them One in four Under twelve year olds Have seen pornography In New Zealand Oh my god It's horrible When you can associate that To someone like my niece I know you

You put a Yeah yeah exactly So Like you think When we were young If you were going to see Any type of pornography It was generally like

A magazine Or maybe like a rude movie Yeah or it took like That you had to put into The VHS player And press play and sneaky. But now they're saying, you know, the numbers are going up exponentially because of just phones. But then you think if you gave someone under 12 a phone

or a 12-year-old a phone, how are you going to stop them Googling? I don't know. I don't know. And there's definitely the curiosity factor. There was, I mean, any... that age where you start going to high school and there's the talk about it and you're hearing about sex and all sorts of things about it everywhere

and everyone's talking about it. You know, curiosity is going to get the better of you at that age and of course you're going to. And especially if like your parents aren't necessarily talking to you about it and then there's no like sex ed at school. It's all just chatter amongst friends. Yeah. So a further study, further out of the study

it said two thirds of those aged between 14 and 17 had been exposed to pornography and almost half of the people who were considered regular viewers that was people who watched it either monthly, weekly or daily, said they could not stop despite wanting to. So they kind of are drawn to it.

Even if they're like, oh, I shouldn't be doing this or I'm doing this too much, they were drawn to it. So those regular viewers of it that I said half couldn't stop, they're 15% of New Zealand youth. Right. Okay. How's this going to affect people? Because there's some interesting TED Talks about this.

And they said, so they talked to the ones that had classed themselves as regular viewers to find out more about their viewing habits. And 73% of those said they'd use it as a learning tool. No. Which had both positive and negative impacts. That's concerning. That's really bad. You wouldn't be poor.

Because it's like any kind of movie. It's made up. The situation's made up. The thing is made to be way more entertaining and graphic than real life. As per movies. Yeah. It would be like learning to be a police officer by watching a cop movie where like day two on the job and it's like this mad shootout and then like they just go against the protocol

and at the end they're the hero. Yeah. Really, it's just a lot of paperwork. Wildly unrealistic. Yeah. Yeah. Is there stats on like gender? Is it more one than the other?

Because they talk to like thousands of kids in the study and yeah, they talk to females as well and they're watching it as well. Not as much as guys. No, not as much. 21% of boys were considered regular viewers and 9% girls. Wow.

So, but then they, weirdly, flip side, some people who were specifically asked that fell, I guess, well, you'd say into the LGBTQI community. Did I get them all? I think so. They said their parents had no idea how to deal with them. Yeah, right. And they were like, they watched it and they're like, okay,

so what I'm feeling isn't a complete freak show that somebody's told me I am. So there's... There's good to it and bad. But then there's that real fine line of watching and being like, oh, okay, other people do that. Oh, okay, I have to do that. Oh, okay. Yeah.

We're going to have to extend the sex ed. The sex ed chats are definitely going to need to be upped. That's what Arnie had in the news. They want to bring it into primary school. Primary school? Yeah. It's sort of a different. It was awkward enough at high school.

As someone with primary school children or kids. It's nuts to think they'll even have to deal with that. But, I mean, better than that than the alternative, right? Yeah, exactly. Just going and watching and thinking, oh, that's normal. Yeah, totally. Yeah. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith.

Hello there and welcome to today's Top Six. Kapiti Island, very important island because it's free of pests and there's bird life on there. And it's just a beautiful little spot, really. But, like, what New Zealand would have been like before we bloody went and dragged all these rats and stoats and ferrets. Yeah, poosoms. I saw my first rat yesterday in our new place.

Oh, yuck. We've moved rurally. Yeah, yuck. And my wife rurally. Yeah, yuck. And my wife's like, what are these things? I was like, they're bait stations. She's like, what are bait stations? I was like, for rats. And she's like, are there rats here?

I was like, we live in the country and we've got fruit trees. There's going to be rats. And then yesterday one scurried across the deck. And she was like, well, I guess it's too late to ask for our old house back. Oh, grim. So what I'm getting is one of those traps. You know those ones that are air powered and they just blow a bolt down straight through their brain.

Good. And so I'm going to be selling rat pelts at your local markets. I'm going to skin them, make a series of wonderful rat coats and become the rat king. Okay. Vegans are loving this chat. Surely not even vegans can like a rat. Yuck.

So there's a dog called Rhys Jones. Oh, Rhys. He's real cute. He's an ant detection spaniel. And this is from apparently Auckland Council's biosecurity team. Yeah. And he went down to Kapiti Island and his specialty is sniffing out the Argentine ants. Argentinian ants?

Argentine ants. I've Googled them. Did you Google them? Are they those big red ones? They're invasive. Yeah. How long are they? Does it say here?

Two to three millimetres long. Tiny. Wingless. And range in colour from light to dark brown. And native to not only northern Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay, Bolivia, and southern Brazil.

Just most places accessible by land from... What's so bad about them? I don't know. They're the world's worst invasive species. Didn't they just rock in and make a real mess of things? Originally established in Auckland in 1990.

So same time as the Commonwealth Games. It would have been there. Did anyone point the fingers at the Argentinian team? Are they in the Commonwealth? No, they're not. Maybe. When did they drop out? No, they never were, were they?

No. The Spanish colonised. Colonised? Colonised. Yeah. Like a colonisation of rats. So Rhys Jones, this cute little dog that I'd totally be like, hello, woofy, if I saw, went down there, had a good sniff around the whole island.

No ants. And everyone's pretty stoked on it. How do they know he was just like, can't be bothered today? Like he smelt one. He's like, no, you didn't give me that biscuit before. I'm not telling you that. Exactly. How do they know?

I don't know. I don't think dogs hold grudges. Like if it was a cat, it'd be 100% happening. So the top six things I wish I had, I wish I had a dog that could smell. Okay. Number six, car keys. Like where are they? I'm in a hurry.

Who had them last? Good idea. Good idea. Where did you put them? I'm not buying one of those tile things either. Do they work? Well, I looked at those and it all just relies on everyone having those. Or a lot of people having those.

So if you lose your keys by someone else with the app or a tile, then it pings your key location. But if you lost them in the middle of your whatever, your paddock, probably nothing. Would you have to walk around with your phone and it would go bing bing when it got into a range or something? Maybe. I'd rather have a dog that could smell my car keys.

Number five on the list of the top six things I wish my dog could smell are headphones. You know when you're like where am I bloody, where did I put my headphones? Yeah. I always find mine in a pocket. Yes. Or a shoe.

Because like you take them off and you chuck them in the shoe so they don't get like crushed. Yeah. And then you're like, where are they? And then you don't know until you go,

you put your foot in that shoe and then you crush them and you're like, huh. This is what karma, this is what irony tastes like. Number four on the list of the top six things I wish I had a dog that could smell.

That doesn't sound right, eh? The top six things I wish my dog could smell out? Yeah. That's going to work better. We got there. Good that we're almost halfway through the list and we've worked out the best way to say it. What we needed from the supermarket.

Yeah, good call. You know, if you're going to like, oh, I've got a supermarket, you've got to make a list, you've got to, if you're going to like, oh, I've got a supermarket, you've got to make a list, you've got to walk a look around. Nothing worse than coming home

and you're like, oh, the one thing I was going for. So you mean he goes into the kitchen and sniffs around, you need... And then you take the dog

to the supermarket and it walks around the aisles and it's like, sits down and goes, oh, oh. When it's sitting next to the thing you need.

Good boy, good boy. Yeah, good boy. But it always stopped by the dog, Vicky. They're like, we've and goes, oh, oh. When it's sitting next to the thing you need. Good boy, good boy. Yeah, good boy. He's a puss cut. But he'd always stop by the dog vickies. They're like, we've got plenty of those at home. He'd be like, oh, oh.

Number three on the list of the top six things I wish my dog could smell, the remote control. Oh, that's a good one. You know who's the worst little bastard? Who? Apple TV. Oh, it's so little.

My one's slip slidey. Like you put it on the couch and it's like, see ya, and then down the back of the couch. And then it's like, see ya, and then under the cushion and then it just dances around all over the place. You could just tape a dog treat to yours and your dog would find it. Not a bad idea. Probably not the aesthetic that Apple were going for.

No. Slimline design. Even if you've got the slimmest dog treat, like one of those liver treats, that dehydrated liver put on the back, still probably affects the aesthetic. Yeah. We could just rub it all over it. Yeah. But then the dog would chew on the remote. No, it's just

better we spend half an hour looking for it every time we need it. Number two on the list of the top six things I wish my dog could smell out, the missing sock. Yeah, good. I know it's an age-old, where does the sock go? But imagine if your dog would be like, I'll find it and sniff it out.

Good call. Again, like headphones, sometimes found inside pockets or linings of things. Or the bottom of your pants. Yes. Because they got caught when you took your... Yeah. Always.

Always. That does matter. Sade, my wife, takes her jeans off and her socks off as she's going past the foot. And so when I'm doing the washing, you have to turn the... The socks always caught inside the jean. No respect. Divorce material. And the number one thing I wish my dog could smell,

a bloody pen when I'm on the phone and somebody says, have you got a pen? No, you just snap your fingers at your partner and be like, hey, hey, hey, write this down, a number, number, number, number. Quick game of charades, eh? Snap, snap. Squiggling your finger around the light. You need a pen? Yes! You win the charades,

but yes, I need a pen. That is today's top six. A boyfriend has gone viral with a hand. Well, you don't want your boyfriend going viral. No, for a good reason. With a handmade present for his girlfriend. This is so cute.

And this, I mean, how many days are we? Well, it's 19 days until Christmas. You could still do it. You could still do this. Or this is a good idea for next year because I'm all about like handmade presents as long as you get like a nice gift. Oh yeah, what are you giving your mates?

Some huckery. Pasta. Beetroot. Did you see the video? Oh, you didn't see the video. Actually, it looks quite nice. I grew beetroot. Where's the video?

No, no, no. I haven't posted it because I'm not supposed to be talking about it because it's their present. But anyway, you've seen it now. So I'll show you. Okay. I don't want to post it on Instagram, but I will eventually.

It's beetroot fettuccine, and I grew the beetroot from seed. And you made the pasta yourself? I made the pasta in my pasta maker. So you're giving this to your close friends? Yeah. Oh, not you. No, because another group of friends, we all trade little gifts at Christmas,

just fun little gifts. Did you know about this? You're in this shit? Are you not making us any of this feature? You can give it to the food influencer Henny's Noms.

She could give you a special shout out. Excuse me, because remember I used to give you guys presents and you're like, don't do presents anymore because then I have to

get you something. So we poo-pooed presents for each other. I vaguely remember saying something like that. So we just don't do presents for each other. I've got Fletcher present

this year. Why? And it's sitting on the bench at our house and Sade keeps saying, would I've got Fletcher present this year and it's sitting on the bench at our house and Sade keeps saying would you give him that bloody present because she's sick of

it sitting on the bench. What is it? You give me a present but now I have to buy you one. Go like this and tell me what it is. Um, no.

Am I going to like it or is it a silly gift? You'll love it. Okay, great. I'm excited. But it's a silly gift. Okay. You'll love it.

Okay, so this boyfriend made his girlfriend a advent calendar. But behind each door, it was a little riddle, like a little clue, to the location of the gift for that day. Like every day is kind of like a scavenger hunt. Yeah. Treasure hunt. And so she wouldn't have to go far because it could just be hidden around the house. Yeah.

Like go down the hallway. It's actually massive and the picture on it is a picture of them. Right. So it's like, it's full on. Like it's, I don't know, is it A3 maybe? Or A2? I don't know.

But it's a picture of them on the thing and it's like made out of card and there's windows with dates on it. Just as you imagine an advent calendar. Right. And then behind each one is a little riddle. So she goes on like a little... That's really cute.

Yeah. Because that... Love a treasure hunt. Andrew did that for me one Valentine's Day. We had like a little treasure hunt and there was little clues and like I went all around Auckland like getting like different presents.

Oh, expensive with guests. Yeah, it was early on. He was still trying to buy my love. Oh, right, right. But he's, you know... How is something he has to work on. How have they filled the car up at the end of it all? What? How have they filled the car up at the end of it all?

But rude at the end of Valentine's Day to us for a petrol rebate. You're like, it's just we've used half a tank on this idea of yours and it's just, you know, it's a little way off from payday and it's just I need petrol. I mean, little way off from payday and it's just, I need petrol. I mean, you got me to drive around Auckland. Yeah, exactly. It's fair. A chat in our house is a bit of outdoor furniture.

Heading into summer, what are we doing for some outdoor furniture? You, Rhys, didn't you buy some nice outdoor furniture last year, the year before? Yeah. What did you end up going for? Like a couchy thing, you know? Cushions. And it's got an ottoman and then a little coffee table.

Got to bring the cushions in every time it rains, though. Yeah. That's a real... That's annoying. Yeah, it is annoying. Bugger boo of mine having to bring in the cushions because otherwise they get wet and then they deteriorate, don't they? Or you sit on a cushion when it's been like a bit dewy or rainy. You get wet bottom. And you get wet bottom. Or it's been a bit dewy or rainy. You get wet bottom.

You get wet bottom. Or it's dry to the touch, but when you sit on it, there's moisture in the middle and it squeezes out into your butt. Real first world problems. Real first world problems. So we've been kind of discussing options, because also you could do that thing where you have something outside to store your cushions in, but then spiders get in that,

and then every time you pull it out, you've got to see if you've got snakes. Like cockroach. You've got to see if you've got a white tail on your bottom. Yeah. So it just so happened last night on Reddit, when I was cruising on Reddit, not that bad. I don't mean to sound like cruising, like public tour cruising.

I just meant like looking. Right, yeah. I saw an interesting discussion. He's like, seriously, what, like, what is there a single outdoor piece of outdoor furniture that can stand New Zealand weather conditions? I was like, that's a great point because everything just falls to bits. Well, the sun's so harsh, it'll make plastic brittle. It'll fade furniture.

It'll fade timber. The timber just gets absolutely wrecked for some reason. If you've got, that powder coated aluminium stuff, but then it's got a mesh join, it's only like a summer and a winter and then that mesh is real saggy or brittle and you sit on it one day and you go through and you didn't need that blow to the ego at the start of summer. You've been trying really hard.

Yeah. And one guy knocks the ball out of the park and he literally has the same approach to what I do. Yeah. You can't go wrong with the indestructible $10 white plastic chair from the warehouse. We've all broken one at a party, but that was on us because we swung back on two legs,

even though we should not have been leaning on two legs. We had so many of those growing up as kids. I'm just thinking, like, would there have been a single house in New Zealand that hasn't had one of those? Or a single person that hasn't even sat in one? You go to a hall. You're sitting in one.

You go to even some weddings. They put the nice covers over there. You're still sitting in one. You're still sitting in one. Yeah. And they last. I've never seen one with sun damage.

Like they always break because someone swings back on them or throws them or puts them on a bonfire and they start to melt and then someone pulls them off but it's too late. You can't go wrong. But the thing is they don't look.

What are they made out of? Can they make them in like a... Reason. Isn't it reason plastic? Make it black or something? Yeah, I've seen green ones. I don't know about black ones. Maybe they're reluctant to use black

because black would fade a little bit and they like these to look exactly the same 10 years later. They'd hate up. You're right, though. I'm sure my parents are still rocking the same set we had when we were like little kids. Yeah. And the best part about them is if they do break, $10. And you could probably take it back if you still got your receipt, too.

Yeah. Oh, you take it back 100%. The thing is, you know what, if you need to replace one and you're worried about it not looking the same as the rest of the set, guess what? It looks the same. Unless they change up the design. If they change it up slightly.

How dare they, though? But I tell you what, you could buy a whole new set for $60. I couldn't imagine your wife going for that, though. No, she's not on board at all. She's not on board at all. What about the nice covers? Get a cushion. Some nice cushions for them.

Get a nice cushion. You get those ones that you can like tie the little like string around so it doesn't blow away. The covers, the cushions. No, the little cushions with the little strings.

Yeah, tie your cushion on. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Somebody said that their uncle's factory actually makes those white plastic chairs. I didn't know they were

New Zealand made. You get a discount. New Zealand made. New Zealand made. Made in China. Are they You get a discount. New Zealand made in China. Are they making chic black ones? Not made in China. Well, I don't know. Maybe it would require a lot of black colouring

because they're so white. But then charcoal, mate. Imagine a hot pink $10 chairs. Winner. Well, you've got their detail. Get in touch with the uncle and get a discount. I was thinking I'd get in touch with the uncle and I would offer to take on board his marketing.

So let's branch out, Steve. Let's drop some food colouring in these and see what happens. I don't think they need to market $10 chairs, mate. I think everyone in the country has at least two. And the best part about it is if you wait for a box, you know, they sell for $5. Ho, ho, ho. Mr. Film Fight. Ho, ho, ho. Mr. Film Fight.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Oh, we're finding it out to find the best Christmas movie in the land. As voted by you, you can vote on our Instagram polls daily, FEMZM. So far, Love Actually. So far, I haven't picked a single winner. No. Love Actually. You guys are out of touch.

The Polar Express. What was yesterday's fight again, Megan?'t picked a single winner. No. Love actually. You guys are out of touch. The Polar Express. What was yesterday's fight again, Megan? Just remind us of this. Yesterday, was it the Polar? Wasn't yesterday the Polar Express? Well, we're all looking at. It was the holiday. It was the holiday.

One of my favourites. Versus Bad Santa. And Vaughn and I, because we talked about this. We talked about it. We'd had voting up 10 minutes and Bad Santa was getting trounced. And Vaughn and I were disgusted. You are quite fond of Bad Santa. It's a great movie.

Yeah. 72% of people yesterday voted for The Holiday. Bad Santa, gone. 28%. Eliminated. That got nailed. Guys, I mean, I'm not going to tell you how to vote. But all of these movies are of the same ilk.

Yeah. Romance. Well, people love a rom-com. Add some Christmas. Add Christmas. It's a winner. Well, today I can't lose because I love both of these movies. Oh, that's good.

But who are you going to vote for out of these two? Well, the two options today are The Grinch That Stole Christmas. This is the 2000s Jim Carrey version. Yeah. Where he had to sit in a makeup chair for eight hours a day to get ready for filming. And he was taught techniques by a CIA agent. Oh. Because he thought it was like being tortured.

And they hired a CIA agent who taught him to like take himself out of the moment. Because he's not a female. He's never sat there for three hours or four hours getting their hair done. No. So he's... Horrible. Yeah, so he learnt some techniques. Okay.

I don't think I've ever seen that movie, by the way. No, neither. But you're familiar with the Dr. Seuss. And there's a new one this year where Benedict Cumberbatch... Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch. Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch Benedict Cumberbatch

Yeah, what happened the first time? Cumberbatch I think the bee kind of fell under something Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch Cumberbatch

Ah yes, English actor Cumberbatch I loved him as Doctor Strange. Who's that? You mean... The best Sherlock Holmes, in my opinion? None other than... What's happening?

Anyway, so the Grinch... Who played Smaug the Dragon in The Hobbit? Oh, that's right. It was. Yeah. So not that one. Not the Grinch movie that's come out this year starring. You sound like Leonardo DiCaprio in that movie now, Wolf of Wall Street.

Not that one, the Jim Carrey one. Versus Home Alone, the original Home Alone, where he is home alone. We know. The sequel, he was not at home alone.

He was in New York alone. Different. Always had a problem with the naming of that one. Yeah. So, Home Alone versus The Gr in New York alone. Different. Always had a problem with the naming of that one. Yeah. So, Home Alone versus The Grinch That Stole Christmas is today's festive film fight. So, what would you vote for, Fletch?

You'd be a Home Alone then. I'd probably go Home Alone because it's so iconic. It's so classic. Yeah. Kevin! Yeah. And Vaughn? Yeah, I'm going Home Alone too.

You're going Home Alone too. Okay, so what are early votes in? I don't know. I was just looking at the screen cap. Oh my God. 56% to Home Alone at the moment. That's close. Yeah.

Oh, our closest fight. That's way closer than I thought. Oh no, Ming has drastically changed. 65% in favour of Home Alone now. Okay. Maybe if we'd used the more modern Grinch that sold Christmas, that's the one starring... Ah, yes.

Yeah. Maybe that would have done better. That might have done a bit better. Okay, well, you can vote on our Instagram, FVMZM. FVMZM. Well, this needs to be discussed because someone's buggered off overseas and not paid their bills. Okay. The IRD or the URD, depending on if you like acronyms or just to say the words,

they've lost a whole bunch of people who owe student loans. Because at Watsitia, when you go overseas, do you have to tell them that you're moving to, say, you're doing your OE or you're moving to Aussie? Yes. And don't you start paying interest? Yes. So it's only interest free if you're here. If you're in New Zealand.

Yeah. Which is fair enough. So the government has, the IRD has apparently had 75,000 people who are behind on their repayments and they've just lost track of heaps of them in Australia. What do you mean? Like they've just moved and not told them. Have you guys been writing down how much you've been paying and how much you owe and how much your minimum repayments are

and how much interest things. And they're like, no. But I guess there's no way. No, neither. I guess there's no way of tracking them down because once they're gone, it's not like we have access to all the Australian bank systems

and their tax system. Yeah. I don't know if there's info sharing. But I doubt it. They wouldn't just hand it over, would they? They can chase them. Like they can chase them for it and they can chase them for it, and they can arrest them on the way back

into the country. So imagine there'll be a few in the new year, people that'll come back for Christmas. But I think it is our relationship with Australia that's made it so hard to trace it. Like, that people can go over to Australia and maybe be sending money back, or, you know,

just say, oh, you know, I'm still in New Zealand, but not be because of our close working relationships with Australia that's made it harder. But yeah, also good luck coming home because they're going to be waiting for you. When I read the Healings, I just like to imagine a whole lot of Kiwis who are like, well, I don't want to pay my student loan. I'm over to Australia and they're just out into the outback. And there's just this colony of Kiwis who happen to run into each other.

What are you doing out here? Oh, I don't know why they had Australian accents. Maybe they're trying to blend in. What are you doing out here? Running away from my responsibilities and student loan repayments? Me too, let's start a camp. Okay, let's start a camp.

Did you bring a taunt? I didn't bring a taunt. Damn it, we'll have to go buy a taunt. And then they start a little commune in the middle of the outback because they didn't want to have to pay student loans. So basically, I'm saying, be responsible,

pay student loans, or go bush. Just go bush and hide. But then what would you rather do, repay a student loan or face like 10 of the world's top 15 deadliest snakes? You said rather pay back the loan. It makes me angry because everyone else stayed, you know, all of the rest of us that stayed here

and paid off our loans. Yeah. And then all these people bugger off. I don't know. It just gets me angry. Well, I should get free money or something. Well, you were just free money. Who does that say that you didn't think of that at the time?

Pretty much, yeah. Accostulated costs, like put it all on the tab and then run away. How much free money do you want? I don't know, a few thousand? As much as you can give me? No, you've got to put a figure on it. Three thousand. How much free money do you want? I don't know, a few thousand? As much as you can give me? No, you've got to put a figure on it. 3,000.

Okay. How much do you want? 10. 10,000? Yeah. Well, she's going to want more now that you've said 10,000. I want 15.

Okay, now everyone's getting too greedy. So this is the problem. Greed. Greed. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The podcast.

Just watching Caitlin juice. She cut it like. And Megan. The podcast. Just watching Caitlin juice fruit is, she cut it like. Long ways. Long ways. Well, I can't tell which. If you're going to cut an orange into segments for a halftime match refreshment, that's the way you cut it. But if you're juicing, surely you go across the equator. Listen to this. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff.

Right. If you've just joined us, a riveting new segment. First ever for radio. It's called Rate My Grape Juice. Rate my grapefruit. Fletch, get the name of the segment right. It's not grape juice, mate. I'm not growing grapes, although wonderful idea. Maybe a little.

What do they call it when you grow grapes? A vineyard. No, no. It's a culture. A vintner. A vintner. So Vaughan has moved to the country and has a lot of citrus trees and is... I've moved to the country and I've got a lot of citrus trees.

I've moved to the country. Okay, so... Just before you scoff, you're about to drink from the fruits of my loin. So I would eat a grapefruit every morning for breakfast if I could. It's my jam. But you're on the pill. You've got to be careful. Yeah. That's what they say. Grapefruit everything morning for breakfast, if I could. It's my jam. But you're on the pill. You've got to be careful. Yeah.

That's what they say. Grapefruit everything is my absolute jam. But I'm sure I read this. Grapefruit juice and statins can cause liver damage. What? Oh, man. And St. John's wort can make the contraceptive pill. Because earlier this week, I'm sure I read that the latest findings say that there's

no correlation between the pill not working. Okay. Well, let's be sure. But you're double bagging. You're not taking any risks. I just Googled. Shut up. What?

No, you're proudly very safe with your contraception. Okay. No, the country doesn't need to know that. No, you're a responsible adult. That's to be encouraged. But when you say that Megan double bags, it makes it sound like she makes Toyboy put on two conies. Two conies.

No, no. And that's not a good idea. No, because it's not. No, that's not to be done. Megan is certainly not countdown. She has not eliminated the use of a single-use plastic bag. It's not plastic, it's rubber. Oh, you know what I mean.

Come on, Megan, for the joke of comparing a plastic bag to a condom, you've got to let me have it. I just googled drugs that interact with grapefruit, and it's a huge list. So you do have to be very careful. Yeah, yeah. What is it about grapefruit that makes these drugs go? Something about the...

Because why are grapefruit and not an orange? It affects how drugs are changed and metabolised in the body. Okay, okay. So basically you're just making them ineffective. Well, I've never been one for grapefruit. My nana, Rita, she loved a grapefruit. Same. Grandma would always have one for breakfast.

It always made me really sad what old people considered treats. Like when I was growing up, she's like, oh, grapefruit, what a treat. I was like, oh, nana. It's a treat for me because I can never have them. You can't have them too often. Okay, ready? Well, my grapefruit tree, there's only a few grapefruit because we're coming to the end of the grapefruit season,

but I climbed up on a ladder. Yep. Without supervision. I could have fallen and died, so there's risk also. That was quite a risk-adverse sport. To juice you guys, to bring in some grapefruits, because I don't like grapefruits, but I believe they should be delicious. We've got a glass each.

What do you want from us? Just let me know how good that is. Okay, it's a great radio segment. This is so far so well. Well, no, I want to know if I branch out into, remember how Mark Ellis made $18 million off juices? Oh, yeah. Charlie's.

Okay, we're drinking. Yeah, that's nice. See, I don't usually like grapefruit juice. Oh, my, that's really sweet. It's a sweet grapefruit, isn't it? Yeah. It didn't even make my eyes go. No, no, but yes, a little bit of that for me,

but a little bit like that's really delicious actually now what I'm not gonna get pregnant rate my grapefruit

out of five out of five possible grapefruit 4.5 I'm just gonna hit it with a five that's delicious you know the best

grapefruit is a pink grapefruit just cause of aesthetics like that just looks like a watered down just like a blood orange tastes exactly like a normal orange.

But it's a darker. Yeah. Have you had some, Caitlin? Do I have to? Would you not like grapefruit? No, that's good though because I want someone who doesn't like grapefruit to tell me they like the grapefruit. It tastes bitter. Wait.

What about the pill? I'm not on it. Okay, good. Okay. Go. Hit it. As, good. Okay. Go. Hit it. As someone who doesn't like grapefruit. Is that sour?

Oh, really? Oh, shivers. Oh, actually, that's... It tastes like a lemon. That's confusing, eh? Because your body's like, that's yum, but then you're also... Oh, shivers. There's another in my throat.

Okay. Out of five? Four. Four possible. That's not a bad start. Is that the end of the radio segment? Do we have to try this? We can do Rate My Tangelo next.

F, G, M. S&M, Fleeche, Faller Megan, it's 19 to 8. That's my favourite song at the moment. We were just saying, though, that she's lazy because she rhymes psycho with psycho. She's sweet but a psycho. She's playing the banjo. See, there's lots of options.

Let's go get a fro, yo. Yes. Let's bang on the bongo. Obviously from people that don't have music for sure. What about, what about,

oh, she's sweet but she's psycho. She's dining alfresco. Like, oh, she's sweet but she's psycho. Oh my God, is that a gecko? Too many syllables.

Oh, my God. How about a seeing a gecko, though? Give it up. Give it up. I want to talk now about when you've been the ultimate wing woman or wing man. Okay. Which is, of course, when you help. Do I need to sign it?

Nah. When you help someone, like, dating. It's a term that comes from fighter pilots, right? What does it actually do? Yeah, like you're on their wing. Right. You're not literally on the wing. Your plane's on their wing.

So they're doing something and you've got them. Right. If someone goes down, I'm your wingman. Yeah. So there is a guy that was the ultimate wingman out. And this little note has gone viral. So he did the old classic. Wrote a note to a guy that he thought was hot,

but also his friend thought was hot. Okay. So the note says, hey, if you're not gay, my friend thinks you're cute. Here's her number. Number. Yep. And down the bottom in brackets,

and if you are gay, here's my number. It's a bob each way. And Cody, I guess this was who it was too, has posted this and said, well, this was the highlight of my day. It's had 350,000 likes. It's good to know that you're appealing to both genders. That's always good.

Is there any outcome on this? I don't know. Cody hasn't, I don't think Cody's gone on to say if he rang either one, which is going to be the biggest mystery. Oh, come on, Cody. Yeah. What if Cody's bisexual and he can't decide?

Well, then he can have both. We could. Yeah. But have you ever, like, have you ever done that for another person? Have you ever been a wingman or I was going to say a wingwoman? I feel like this is you with Caitlin quite a bit, Megan. Actually, we did this recently. Don't give away any details.

I'm looking at you, Fletch. I didn't say anything. I'm looking at Vaughan. Either of you two. Don't. Have you ever successfully... Would I say anything? Yes.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. I wouldn't. That was really good from you. You are such a bitch. Okay. We went to a lunch recently. I wasn't going to. And then you said I would, so I had to.

Shut up. Okay, go on, Megan. We were sitting at like a long table and it was like me, Caitlin, and then this cute dude who shall remain nameless. Okay. And I said to Caitlin, I i was like he's pretty cute she's like i know um but yeah anyway so you stepped up as wing woman but she was like struggling to like i think she was shy or something or just not feeling it so i was like giving her topics to talk about she's like i don't know what to say and i was like to ask him

how he likes his food that's not where woman you a guide dog. Like she's blind and you're leading her through a busy street. I was just like giving her a wee nudge. Giving her the nudge in the right direction. Right. We don't need to know anything more about that story. And also nothing, don't get any, like, don't get your hopes up. But she had great conversation. They had great conversation.

Yeah. I want to hear some stories. He had great conversation with you by the sounds of things. No. No, I was putting the effort in. I'd only had two drinks. Yeah. Give me a chance.

It was good. I want to hear some stories of when someone's actually been a wingman or wingwoman and it's gone so well that maybe they're still together. Like, imagine you wingman or wingwoman a couple that are together and married now. They're not married. Or they're long term. What? You know those people that do that?

They're always like taking credit for it. I go into a wedding once and I didn't know this person that was, but they were like, well, you know I introduced them. You know I set this all up. It's like, it's not your wedding. I don't even know you. You're annoying me. I knew it would so be me though if I'd done that.

Yeah, I know that people that do it love to tell people, well, we're only here because of me. We're only here because I, you know, introduced them. Set them up. You'd probably love to say that as well though, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. It's mostly because I haven't.

You haven't, so you've never successfully. I've found, and I talked to a mate of mine about this, is he's tried to wingman people. But then when you're really upping your mate and saying, he's a great guy and you look like the good guy because you're giving a glowing review of another human. So inadvertently it can make the person that you're trying to get to like your mate like you because they're like, this guy's so nice to his friends.

So you've got to be careful. Otherwise it could backfire. Much like being an actual wingman. You've got to be careful because if you fly too close, a plane crash. All right, well, 0800-DARLS-AT-M, 9696. Whenever you've been a successful wingman or a successful wingwoman, give us a call or a text now. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan.

The podcast. We want to know when you were the ultimate wing person. Give us a call or a text now. Fletch. Vaughn. And Megan. The podcast. We want to know when you were the ultimate wing person. Yeah. And maybe it's led to a long-term relationship for one of your friends. Somebody said our local barista is a wonderful wing woman. Okay. Not too surprising about that,

except the interest between us had a four-year span. So I was always talking to the barista about this guy. I was like, is that guy been in blah, blah, blah. He was pretty hot.

This went on for four years until he split up with his girlfriend. And then the barista knew straight away. Yeah. She's like, why do you need a double shot today?

The barista said to him that, you know, there was this woman and she apparently, the person who text messages her son lost her husband. He passed away. Oh, my God.

Sometime before and said, and, you know, if you think she's cute, here's the number, let's do it. He asked her out and they're seeing each other now. Four years. That barista was sitting there plotting the whole thing. Chipping away. It's a long game. But when you think about it,

a barista's the perfect person to get in on the... Yeah. Get in on the sort me out some details with that person? Isn't it? Exactly. They're just seeing so many people.

Yeah. All right, we'll take some calls. Lexi, you were the ultimate wing person. So my best friend was single, so her phone was so old that she couldn't actually get Tinder on it. So I downloaded it on my phone and had a bit of a play around, set up an account for it.

And then I got a bit bored. So one of my other best friends started swiping. Found this lovely guy and, you know, accepted him. And so I started messaging him for a few days, pretending to be her. Decided to pass the test and then gave him her number and then she had to then be, like, to normal self. And now they're married. Does he know that now?

Yeah, he knows that. We talked about it in the wedding speeches. Oh, my God. Was that the first time that he heard about it at the wedding? No, no, he knew about it quite soon afterwards because we're quite close. Wow! That's so cool. That's great.

Lexi, thanks you're cool. Astrid, your girlfriend was the ultimate wing woman for you? Yes, yes she did. And how did that go for you? It went really well. So my husband, we've been married now for 10 years. Oh, wow. We had our first baby six months ago.

Oh, wow. Does your friend take credit still when you guys are together when the baby was born? Or is she a bit like, well, you know, maybe name it after me. No, no, no. She's pretty modest. She's good like that. I'd be like, yeah, call it Megan. And I'm the godmother. But I'd never actually want to look after her. Hey, Esther, call it Megan. Only if it's cute. And I'm the godmother.

Yeah. But I'd never actually want to look after it. Hey, Astrid, thanks for your call. Gemma, someone was a wing woman for you. Yeah, my sister. Oh, no. Oh, no. Gemma, your phone's rubbish.

Your signal's... Are you there? You sound like a robot, Gemma. Oh, that's much better's rubbish. Your signal's... Are you there? You sound like a robot, Jimmy. Oh, that's much better. Carry on. That's better? So he had a friend, and he said he likes four-wheel driving. I was like, oh, I'll be able to...

It says that you're four-wheel driving at the moment. Out the back block somewhere. Up and down a muddy hill. Jimmy, your phone will put you on hold. We might be able to get a better line there. Yeah, I wanted to know what was happening there. I've never seen a four-wheel driving wing person there. We're just finishing ourselves.

Yeah. So they're at four-wheel driving. I don't know anything about four-wheel driving. She's like, Daryl, I've got someone you'll love. Yeah. She loves four-wheel driving. She loves being muddy. Yep.

And he's like, shit all up. She's got a Nissan Pathfinder. Pulsar. Pathfinder Pathfinder You can't take a Pulsar Out the full driving track Who was the first thing I thought of

Get in there And then she went under She sunk in the mud And then he pulled her out And it got all hot And then he's like Saved her life And now they're

Get her love I'll pull you out With the pathfinder I've got a winch on the front. Yeah, I don't know the rest of that story but I like how... What are you doing driving to Pearl Tower up here, sweetheart? They're bloody nuts.

Well, my friend told me I should do it. Sounds like a classic set up to me from the four-wheel driving community. Perfect. Wow, now that we're out, we'll go back and have a spates. They've got a baby on the way. Caitlin just told me they've got a baby on the way.

After they met. After they met four-wheel driving. I hope that pram's got some big tyres on it. She's traded in for the pulse that'll fit the pram in the back. Wow, yeah. You'd need something. Better go. Get the baby up the hill. Some other text messages in. I mean,

nothing's going to top a good four-wheel drive club love story to be totally honest. I double wing-womaned at my wedding. Their own wedding. Wow, okay.

For my best friend and my brother who are now married. Oh. Oh. What? No, that wasn't a surprise. But that's the thing about, like, we had quite a few people messaging in

saying that they've really wanted to get into the art of wingmanning or wingwomanning. But it's led to awkwardness when you set up a friend from one group with a friend with another because then it ends poorly. Yeah, it's messy, isn't it? I set up two of my friends at my leaving party. So I left. That was three years ago. Now they're engaged and they've got two kids.

Okay. That's good. You're kind of like, hey, you two, meet. See ya. And then you get out of it. Next on the show, it's the return of How Do You Know? And if you want to play How Do You Know, you can give us a call. We're going to pick someone soon.

And we're going to see who listening to the radio knows you. You just need a name and some friends. Yeah. Basically that's all it takes. FEM. All right. Just before we play the intro

for How Do You Know I want everybody to look at the name on the monitor because there's a few syllables here. There's a few syllables. Okay. Are we going to drag it out? Are we going to be like

It's two syllables. It's two syllables. Oh, okay. We're just going to see if we do it the same. It's two syllables. Or. Oh, okay. We're just going to see if we do it the same. Let's do it. Let's try our best. That's all I want from you kids is to try your best. How do you know if it's really Shanice?

How do you know that it's really her? Wait, I went Shanice. I went Shanice. No, we went Shanice. Okay. Shanice. Good morning. You went Shanice. I went Shanice. No, we went Shanice. Okay. Shanice. Good morning.

You went Shanice. Is it Shanice? Yes. Yes. We nailed it. Automatically this is good because there's not many Shanices out there. Yeah. That's true. Now, okay, we're going to ask a bit about you, Shanice,

and if anybody listening knows you, they have to call us. That's the rules. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. All right, so let's start. That's the rules. 0800 DALESATM. All right, so let's start. What colour hair do you have? Whoa. Hey, sorry. Why did you do that?

Sorry, because we've never really asked that before. Okay. I have blonde hair. Blonde hair. Blonde hair, okay. How old are you and where are you from? What part of the country do you live? Oh, yeah, that's a good place to start.

Yeah. I'm 23 and I live in Tauranga. But I'm originally from Taupo, so I've only been in Tauranga about a year and a half. Okay. Okay, okay. From Taupo to Tauranga. Okay, and you grew up in Taupo your whole life? Born in Australia, but moved to New Zealand when I was like six.

So, yeah, I was raised in Taupo. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now, what about extracurricular? Do you enter any sports or hobbies um not really um i don't really do a lot outside of work okay oh well this is a wake-up call this is like she just there was a realization in your voice of like maybe i do need a hobby you don't have any extracurriculars you're exactly like her when you just go home and hide

home is not an extracurricular yeah but ask me if i've got any extracurriculars? No, you're exactly like her, Vaughan. You just go home and hide. Home is not an extracurricular. Yeah, but ask me if I've got any extracurriculars. Do you have any extracurriculars? God, no. No, you love barbecuing meats. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, that's not a sport. You're not going to meet people.

That's not a sport, are you? No, I don't like to share my briskets. So did you go to university or polytech or what else is there? Institutes. Institutes. I didn't go to uni. After school, I had a gap year, went to a bank for a couple of months

and then I've just worked. Yeah, I'm actually training to go into police. I go next year. Oh, awesome. We're going to tease the people. Yeah. Did you ring 0800 New Cops when you were interested in it?

No. Yeah, see, I reckon if you're interested in it, you're probably not going to call 0800 New Cops, eh? Who's ringing 0800 New Cops? Just got a couple of questions. Yeah, I'd like to. You can do it online, eh? Yeah, yeah, or go to a careers thing. Yeah, who wants to talk to someone?

What do they ask when you ring 0800 New Cops? I don't know. So what are you doing now before you join the police force? So I work in know. So what are you doing now before you join the police force? So I work in a life pharmacy in town, in Tararuga town.

A life pharmacy. You'd be so busy in Tauranga because of the ageing population. Any fragrance specials on at the moment? No,

but triple points at the moment. Oh, triple points. Good, all right. Well, let's see if this

is enough info. Let's see if this is enough info. Let's see if this is enough info. How do you know we're playing? Shanice, 0800-DARZATM. Let's start now with Jo. Good morning, Jo. Hello, skin. Hello, Andy, Jo.

Hello, Andy, Jo. Why didn't you call in? I was wondering if you'd ring. We're both on our way to work. We live next to each other. Oh, good. Why didn't you? I didn I was wondering if you'd ring. We're both on our way to work. We live next to each other. Oh, okay. Why didn't you? I was listening to ZM.

Wow. There's Aunty Jo getting some brownie points. What? I was like, do you listen to the E to ZM? I was wondering if that's what... Well, Aunty Jo's got taste. She's a refined woman. Plus her car only gets under 90,

so, you know, that's a Tauranga win for us. That's how you know that it's really Sharnice. That's how you know that it's really her. Wait, what did Aunty Jo call her? Skins. Why did she call you Skins? Oh, because my I have a little cousin that couldn't pronounce my name

properly when she was little, so she called me Skins. And my whole family just... That's so cute. Are we going to change it to Skins? That's so cute. That is so cute. Are we going to change it to skins? That's so cute. All right. Good morning, Zach. Hello. How do you know Shanice?

We went on the first date she's yelling. Oh, Zach! What? We went on three dates together. Here was my date on TV. So what happened?

That TV show where you sit down and you have a date and it's all filmed and stuff. Shanice, you know how we're like, oh, what do you do outside of work? Like, what's extracurriculars? And you're like, nothing. That would have been something to bring up. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It was kind of like a one-time thing. Yeah. So what happened between you two? Oh, we stayed friends. It was good. She said no. She said no?

Shanice or Skins is trying to be political about it. Zach's just like, nah, mate. It was a. She said no. She said no. Shanice or Skins is trying to be political, but Zach's just like, no, mate. It was a solid no. Shut down. Well, I mean, that's two from two. That's how you know that it's really Shanice. That's how you know that it's really her. All right. Well, that's pretty good so far.

Two from two. GJ, good morning. GJ. Hello. G'day, GJ. This isn't GJ of GJ Gardner Homes, is it? Oh, yes, it is. Yes, I knew it.

It's not a... No, Megan, of course it's not. You sounded so legit. Shanice, why did you make that noise? Like, oh. Oh, no, I thought you said DJ, but is it DJ? G for giraffe, J for James. You know it. Doesn't ring a bell.

Doesn't ring a bell. Doesn't ring a bell. JJ, do you want to fill her in? Oh, she doesn't know me, but I know her. I stand behind her every time she orders a coffee behind a cafe. What was that? Oh, she doesn't know me, but I know her. I stand behind her every time she orders a coffee behind a cafe. What was that? Oh, my. Wait, so, GJ, are you a fan of Shanice's?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did he say? He's behind you every time you order a coffee. Behind me? He's behind you right now. Oh, my God. Shanice. Oh, he's got it. He's got it. That. Oh, my God. Shanice.

Oh, he's gone. He's gone. That was the creepiest thing that's ever happened. Arne, how do you know? No, you don't know if GJ was a creep. He could have just been quite a fan. No, you don't know him. He knows you. He knows you.

He stands behind you when you order coffee. And if I don't order coffee, I order it from my work and I deliver it to my work. So maybe it's not you. Oh, phew. Wow. I thought for a moment we might have let him aggressively stalk someone who wasn't listening to the show. Thanks for calling.

Yeah. He's gone, babes. We've got to play the loser bed. They didn't know this particular thing. I don't know how to win. They didn't know this one right here. We don't play the loser bed. I didn't know how it went. We didn't know this one right here. Okay, we don't play the loser bet. I didn't know how it went.

We didn't know how it goes. It freaked me out. It put me on the spot. You've got particular in there. Now, I believe we've got another person that thinks they know you, Shanice. Jade, good morning. Good morning. How do you know Shanice?

We work together. Oh, good day, Jade. Are you working today? Are you working today, Jade? I got in the car and my daughter was like, are you sure you know her? Don't ring if you don't know her. Don't you dare embarrass me, Mum.

Don't do that. Are you working, Jade? No, I'm at home today. It's perfect. That's lovely. All right, you two can catch up later. That's how you know That it's really Sharnice

That's how you know That it's really her Oh well I think that's a success today Sharnice Great success A great round of how do you know And I mean maybe we'll need a restraining order For the coffee going For DJ

For DJ Cardness I'm a little bit worried now I'm unsure yeah Yeah not quite sure what's going on there. You've got a TV fan, maybe. I'm not too sure. Someone did some text messages in from people as well. They said you did their makeup last week for a hen's do.

Oh, yes. Yeah, that's my boyfriend's brother's sister. Boyfriend? Right. In New Zealand. But if it's your boyfriend's brother's sister, isn't it also your boyfriend's sister? Boyfriend's sister's not his friend's sister, yeah.

No. I'm done. I was trying to make it simpler, but I think you made it longer. I don't know. But she knows you as well. What a great success, Shanice. Thank you so much for playing.

No worries. Brilliant. All right. There's no prizes or anything. I mean, it's just this nice. It's a pointless competition, really. Yes, it is. I wouldn't even call it a competition.

Big fans of Hilary. Should we do a cheers to Hilary Barry? Oh, to Hilary Barry. Big fans of Hilbaz. To Hilbaz. Hilbaz. Don't break the glass. Because yesterday, and we know that she's no wallflower.

Like, she's not going to stand around while people troll her on the internet. And yesterday was a great example of this. I saw this going around and I was like, this is why she's one of my broadcasting legends, heroes. A pillar. I also like the fact that she highlights just some of the negativity that is out there. Because people are like, that doesn't exist. We don't have people who,

you know, like say these things, but it does exist and she gets it all the time, obviously. I like how she's not afraid to use the F word. Oh yeah, she'll drop a swearie in there.

I think TBNZ shared it on their Instagram. They're not afraid to share it either. I will censor it. They had to share it after 8.30. It amazes me

that people will stop watching what they're doing, like TV in this case, and then go onto their Facebook page, find her, or find her on Twitter, and then say this to someone. It blows my mind.

You've got to be really personally aggrieved to go to that measure to really bring someone else down, right? Next time you're thinking of voicing something negative to somebody online, do something productive with your time instead.

Like bake some muffins. Yum. When have you ever talked to anybody? Oh, no, you can't actually be angry when you finish baking muffins if they're not baked well. But then that's on you and you should write yourself an abusive message. Yeah. Use your time better.

Yeah, use it for more productive measures. Do some charity. Help somebody. It's like Ariana Grande coming at you today and saying what she did about the bullying with Pete Davidson. Yeah. Just absolutely rein it in. So I'm going to censor this because I am afraid

of the Broadcasting Standards Authority. So this was the comment that was sent in from Phil. Why do you have to snigger each time Monday evenings when you're signing off and introducing Outback Truckers? Is it because it's just about the only show on TV that's predominantly for men and one of a very few that doesn't have a doled up, smart-mouthed, uppity tart in a leading role?

Just curious. Phil came in hot. Because I've seen her. She's done this a few times. She sniggers when she introduces outback truckers. Yeah, and the first time she did it, I was like, why is she? What's the last joke? But then I was like, I could, and she explains why.

She said, it's the fear of saying the F word that rhymes with truckers. The outback F's. F, yeah, F's. But good on you for imagining some feminist conspiracy. Phil came in real hot. I would have thought it was just an in-joke. I don't know, something between, because we often laugh. I mean, we've all got our own in-jokes.

Yeah. Don't press that now. It's not the time. That's the HGB. That's only for emergency cases of HG. That was a false alarm. But there has been documented other previous times. Can I read out some other zingers from Hilbaz? Sure. That was a false alarm. That was a false alarm. Of HG. Yeah. That was a false alarm. That was just a test. But there has been documented other previous times.

Can I read out some other zingers from Hilbaz? Sure. So this is from not recent. Sandra went onto Facebook and said, turned out, this was just after they started their new show, turned out to be seven blunt, boring, inappropriate comments, poor camera work, Waitangi Day beach segment, no rapport between hosts, etc, etc.

Bet the ratings have plummeted downhill. Hilbaz not taking it. Was that from Mike Hosking? Could have been. Actually, Sandra, the ratings have been exceptionally high, but thanks for your nasty comment. It inspires me to be a better person myself. P.S. I hope your kids slash grandkids don't see what a troll you are online.

It would be a shame to set such an awful example to younger people. So true. She's not wrong, is she? I love clicking on people's profiles

when I see a comment like that and you see them with their family and you see them, you know, and you're just like, what kind of person are you?

One that blows my mind is guys mouthing off about women saying all sorts of horrible things, claiming, like you said before, a feminist conspiracy and saying all this, holding their daughters. Yeah. And their profile pictures,

trying to look like a great dad with their daughter. It's like, come on, dude. This brings me to this next one where Hillary writes back to Sam White. We've got full name in this one. Sam, and I don't have a lot of context to this one, he said, is there no low she won't sink to? Hillary responds, Sam White, tell you what, princess. When you're all grown up into a big man with an open mind,

you might have a daughter who just might benefit from the rest of us women sticking up for her rights now. So call your jets, babes, and in about 20 years or so, get back to me and tell me what you think. Kiss, kiss, Hillary. She's so great. She's so great. She's so great. She's my hero.

Thank you, Hilary. She's doing so good. All right, it's 29 past... She's doing very well, you know. It's for a woman. Do you want her to come and punch you in the face? No, when I said she's doing so good,

I was worried it sounded condescending. Oh, yeah, right. She just went full... Good stuff, so I decided to double down on it to make a funny thing. But I realise now it was a waste of time. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is that right now in Ethiopia, it's 2011. What? No, what? Hmm. What? Right now in Ethiopia, it's 2011. Have they stopped using calendars? 2011.

Ethiopia run on a different calendar to the rest of the world. They run on the- Why? They, What? Well, the actual reason theirs is different to ours is there's a disagreement on what year Jesus was born. Sorry, I shouldn't do...

No, there is because ours is zero, but then technically they believe he was born seven years later. So their zero was seven years after our zero. So they're like, no, it's 2011. I bet they wonder why they keep missing their flights. It would be confusing.

Like, you know, when you go, you fly from the US to here and you're like, I traveled forward in time. Yeah. Like you go to Ethiopia, you're like, I've traveled back in time. Yeah. Like you go to Ethiopia, you're like, I've travelled back in time. Yeah. Seven years. You go to the airport and you're like, you're seven years. The jet lag must be bloody awful.

It must be. Seriously though, if you are booking flights to Ethiopia, will it literally say on your itinerary you'll get there on the 6th of December 2011? Um, no. Because you're booking on an international. Right. This is just locally recognised. But if you booked from there and left here. Yeah. It would say you're booking on an international. This is just locally recognised.

But if you booked from there and left here, it would say you're leaving in 2011. So it gets a little bit more, yes, wait. If you're booking from Ethiopia. I believe the international rules say that it's 2018. Right, so if you're doing anything internationally, they have to say. It's like...

That's stupid. Yeah. In the air, there's got to be the same language, right? Don't all pilots have to say. It's like... How stupid. Yeah. In the air, there's got to be the same language, right? Don't all pilots have to speak English? All pilots speak English. So they agree on a year.

And also, it gets a little bit more confusing because Ethiopians celebrate Christmas on January the 7th. Of course they do. But here's the one thing

I like about the Ethiopian calendar. Yeah. I'm down for this. They've got 13 months and each month is exactly four weeks long. Oh, exactly.

You don't have to learn that rhyme. 30 days has May. The problem being though, if you're born on February 20th, like me, I'll just use May as an example, and I was born on a Wednesday, my birthday's always on a Wednesday. Oh, that sucks.

You never get a weekend. Oh, no, it would change because they would leap year two. Every four years they get an extra day. So every four years you would advance.

But then that's really cool. You'd get four Saturday birthdays in a row. Yeah, okay. Yeah. See what I'm saying here? But what's the last Ethiopian month called?

Oh, they've all got Ethiopian names, Megan. Oh. They're all. I did look and there was a list. Half of it was actually in Ethiopian, which is quite a cool looking. No, isn't the extra month is short. So they all match and then there's one short month.

What? You said they all exactly four weeks. Yeah, I thought they all had four weeks. No, the last one's like five or six days. Right, five days and then six days when it's a leap year. Okay, so that would change. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Right, okay, we're working out calendars.

Here are some other calendars around the world on what year they're up to. Oh, no. Really? Yeah, the Armenian calendar. Right. This is the one the Kardashians would use. They're only up to 1467. Oh, okay.

The Assyrian calendar, I only know that from that game. What was that game? That you played and you had armies and you advanced through Age of Empires. They're up to 6768. Right. So they're right up there. I know this because I've

been to Thailand and I'm like, that's confusing. Thais are up to the year 2561. Oh, okay. Ones that are a little bit closer to us, the Javanese. Yeah. They're up to 1951. Okay. Which is great news for them.

They've just kind of, again, popularizing automobiles and stuff. Right. So yeah, there's heaps of different calendars and times around the world. But today's fact of the day is right now in Ethiopia, it's only 2011. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. There is a show on Netflix that has been, well, it's staying, and how much they paid for it will blow your mind. I saw this online, but it's not in New Zealand on Netflix.

Oh, is it not? We don't get it. We don't get it because everybody was panicking online. I had no idea that Friends was on Netflix, but in New Zealand, it's not. I just looked. Yeah. I think probably because TVNZ Zealand, it's not. I just looked. Yeah. I think probably because TVNZ probably signed it up for the next 40 years and paid a lot of money for it.

Yeah. So the original story was that Friends would only be available on Netflix until like the 1st of January. And everyone was like, what? Because people still watch it over and over again, which is madness. But it's been now revealed that they paid a lot of money to keep it. Is that $100 million? Is that how many zeros that is? Yeah, it is.

$100 million. For how long? A year. Wasn't it a year? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it was $100 million to keep it for a year on Netflix, right? Yeah. Yeah.

That's... Does it make them money for them to... I don't know how they can afford that. That's the thing. I don't get it on old shows because you'd watch it if you already had Netflix, but surely nobody's signing up to Netflix just to watch Friends. You get people

I mean, I don't know. I'm not in charge of Netflix. My assumption would be you get new subscribers to Netflix or get people to stay with Netflix by providing what they want. Sure, maybe it is Friends. Oh my God, come on guys. But do you constantly see when they've got Netflix originals

and they've got big stars and stuff, they've got to pay for those movies. They've got to pay $100 million to keep friends. They can't be making all that money. Famously doesn't make much money at all, does it? Well, I just Googled how many people, how many subscribers does Netflix have, and it says 130 million.

Right. So if they paid us in,. So nearly a buck each. They paid nearly a dollar each person. And how many of those are people that are using someone else's account? Oh, no, that's just subscribers. They reckon the estimated number of people that Netflix reaches is more than double that,

$300 million. But then surely that's a low estimate. I account for about seven, eight people. Yeah. Mum's only interested if there's a new season I account for About Seven Eight people Yeah Mum's only interested If there's a new season Of The Crown Right

You know the new season Of The Crown's come out Because she rings me And she's like How do I get this going again She's sent online That it's coming out No

So it's going to be Available for one year Wow Yeah but in New Zealand I think in New Zealand It's TVNZ on demand Isn't it Yeah

And like But then you can't choose Which episode you want to watch. Why not? Oh, no, you can On Demand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a VHS, Megan. No, I thought it was just on TV.

TVNZ On Demand is not just a VHS. On Demand means you can choose. No, I was thinking it was still like on TV. It is still on TV as well. Normal TV, TV. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like those we talked about once,

the people that were on Friends, the six main actors are still making 20 million, was it 20 million each? A year off residuals from Friends being played around the world. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. ZDM.