ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 07 2018

Episode Date: December 6, 2018

It is the Semi-Finals of Festive Film Fight, Friday Flashback and what did your work sweep under the rug?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast, brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Good morning. Good morning. I don't want to hype it too early. Okay. But in two hours time hype it too early. Okay.

But in two hours time, it's Friday flashback. Yeah. The penultimate for the year. Second to last. Responsibility falls upon myself today. Okay. And it's a rip snorter. It's unlike you to be this organised.

It's an absolute. It's a rip snorter. A rip snorter. A rip snorter. All right, old mate. Okay, well, I'll go. What are you? It's slaps. It's an absolute It's a rip snorter. A rip snorter. Alright old mate. It's a banger. It slaps. Is that what Andy says? It slaps? Yep, he says it slaps. And Ternania's boyfriend's a DJ and he said

if it's a good song, it slaps. He's a DJ. He's a DJ. He's a disc jockey. This one goes out to everyone who's ready to party because it slaps. Click. Does he practice at home on you? Yeah.

You have to pretend to be the club? Yeah, and I like put my hands up like, banger, slaps, yeah. I know that he's your boyfriend, but if you have to be like brutally honest, is he like good? No, he is good. I've been at an event he DJed. And he's good? Yeah. Okay. Does he like good? No, he is good. I've been at an event he DJ'd and he was good. Okay. Does he mix them? Yeah. Does he beat mix them?

Like one's starting to wind down, it's like oonst, oonst, oonst and the next one's going to start and he's like What's his DJ name? Oh, I can't remember. You can't remember your own boyfriend's DJ name? DJ... Sluzzer. Sluzzer? Oh, because his name is Sluzz. Oh, no, Johannes Leonard. Oh, I'm back.

I'm back, baby. It took me a minute. What? It's his middle names. What is it? DJ... Johannes Leonard. Johannes Leonard.

Johannes Leonard. Johannes. Yeah. Jonas. Like, feel free to brainstorm. Johannes Lennard. Johannes Lennard. Johannes. Yeah. Jonas. Like, feel free to brainstorm. Spit around some ideas. I don't think it's locked in. Yeah, right.

Okay. Is he Dutch, right? I knew a Dutch guy called Jonas. Jonas. Johannes. It's like John, but in Dutch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dutch is going to say it's Dutch.

John, isn't it? Yeah. Johannes. But then he doesn't want to become famous and go to, you know, Dutch land. Or the Netherlands, as it's always known. And have the equivalent DJ name of, you know, like John Smith. What about...

You know, he's got to have a good name. And on tonight's Dancer Club, DJ John Smith. He could be DJ Milky Bar Kid. Because he, like, is blonde and fair. And he looks like the Milky Bar kid. He can wear little glasses and a sheriff's badge. And then between songs, he can be like, The Milky Bars are on me.

I'll suggest that. Yes, please. All right, suggestions. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. Story time. I've found three news headlines for interesting stories around the world. Vaughan and Megan pick one of the following three headlines.

Vaughan can pick today. Why don't you want to pick? You're doing the instinct scratchy, aren't you? Instinct kiwi. I'll pick then. Headline one. I just wanted to give him a present for a free ride. Headline one.

Thank you so much. Hotels hit an extra charge. Oh, that one. That should actually probably say feature. But anyway. Headline two. Alter boy's in trouble. Oh, that one.

It's normally the other way around, isn't it? It is. Well, no, they're usually in trouble, but usually it's not their fault. They're in trouble. Headline three, man claims he has a new human sense. Oh, that one. Oh, yeah, that one. Sense.

Okay. Oh, like senses. New human sense. You've got the five, don't you? You've got taste, smell, touch, sight, hearing. Good five. Good five. But then there's this theory That there's up to like 50 right

The six cents Is there Yeah the six cents There's these Bruce Willis He's dead Well that's one of them One of the ones

Okay Well the latest trend in tech Has seen people Implanting chips Under their skin See I'm not opposed to this remember Remember I'll have a chip Yeah but Oh no I don't know It just sounds like you know implanting chips under their skin. See, I'm not opposed to this, remember? Remember, I'll have a chip.

Yeah, but, oh, no, I don't know. It just sounds like, you know, it's a... Put everything on it. No, it's a way to control us, man. Yeah, man, I don't know where you are, man. And then the phone rings just in my head. Oh, good, you'd choose that ringtone? Oh, I don't know. I'd go for a Miley song.

I'd probably just go for a traditional... Like the classic tone. I don't get sick of that, because I Miley song. I'd probably just go for a traditional brr-brr-brr. Like the classic tone. I don't get sick of that. Because of the program that that sort of phone sounds like. Well, one biohacker is what they call them, biohackers, has taken things further by implanting a Bluetooth compass into his chest. Now, the 38-year-old man claims that the chip gives him a new human sense because the chip is attached to the skin with two titanium bars No, why would you want that?

Transforming his body into a functioning navigational system. You would love that. You need to get out of your car and be like, where's north? But I get out of the car and I just work out where north is. But I don't want to, you imagine,

you're not even interested in what direction you're facing and then your little brr on your chest. It would just be so annoying. It'd be so annoying. It'd be good if you could

push something and it would be like, brr, if you're facing north. Like if he was facing that way and he was like, what way am I facing? I'm assuming this is like

the start of something that could become a thing that could be more widely used. For example, vibrate when I'm near a McDonald's. You set your own notifications. You set your own notifications. It could vibrate

when you get a message. Again, how annoying. Yeah. Because if a foe does that anyway and don't pretend that's not on you the whole time. Exactly. Yeah.

Well, I mean, for guys, it's probably more likely to be in your pocket. There are animals, right? Like, the migrating animals have the, they reckon there's a magnetic sense in the brain that tells them, you know, oh, it's getting cold, time to head south. So they head away from the north,

and then it's time to head back north, and they follow the magnet. They just know. The magnetic sensor in the brain. That'd be pretty cool. But again, that's a sense. It's not vibrating every time you're facing that way. We don't need to migrate north or south, do we?

We don't need to know that. So I googled, we're talking about humans having more than like five senses, the five traditional senses. I found a list of 21, but a lot of them are just like hunger's one of them i don't know if that's a thing no so these are these i've found nine human senses so as we said sight hearing taste smell touch uh then there's thermoception which is working out hot and cold you can see like the place having the eagle helicopter you can see warm bodies no i think it's just more like feeling oh okay feeling but. Feeling. But then to me, that's not touch.

But it's not touch. Because that's not the act of touching something. That's just perceiving temperature. Right. There's pain because, again, you're not touching something. You could be experiencing pain internally. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. There's balance. Yeah.

And body awareness. So just being aware. What about that sense where you're like, someone's watching me? You know that sense where you're like, someone's looking at me? That's got to be one of the senses, eh? Yeah.

Because that's... I always find it amazing, body sense. Like you mean how you know that your body's going to go through that door. You know, that your elbow's not going to hit something. Yeah. It's like when you drive your car, know, that your elbow's not going to hit something. Yeah. It's like when you drive your car, you know, the side's not going to hit. Oh, yeah, I love spinning a car around in my wife, or you guys have done it too, when I pull one of my erratic U-turns.

You're like, you're going to hit the curb, or you're going to hit that car. I'm like, no, I'm not. And I'm like, get close, but I don't hit it. And I just know. You have hit the car a couple of times, but that's how I know. The more mistakes I make, well, I've actually dented

that front part of my car so I know it's not going to happen. Yeah, that's called luck, Vaughan, that sort of thing. Yeah, baby,

luck, that should be one of the senses. F.M. An interesting article about, has surfaced, predictions from the 1980s about what the job market

would look like now in like the 2000s. what the job market would look like now in like the 2000s right so like when we were like little tiny kids 2020 seems like a long way away so do you remember the TV show Beyond 2000

you may not if like do you guys remember do you guys remember the TV show Beyond 2000 you don't this is for people in their 20s then Do you guys remember the TV show Beyond 2000? You don't? Okay. This is for people in their 20s then. I'll tell you about a great TV show that was on on Friday nights and it used to blow our little minds.

It was like in the 90s, eh? Yeah. Late 80s, early 90s. There was a TV show called Beyond 2000 and it was an Australian TV show and they basically made predictions about what the future was going to be like and the technology and stuff that would be around. They need to bring up, they need to resurface that show

and just run it for some, A, nostalgia, and B, love. See how, and see how, like, onto it they were. It would be great if they got the original team

that made Beyond 2000 back together and now sat down with scientists and said, like, where do we go wrong here? Or how far off is this actually from happening. I remember there was an episode of Beyond 2000 and they said one day

you're going to be able to sit at your kitchen table and have a video conversation with people anywhere in the world over video and I was a little kid I was like no way man like that no way, man. No way, man.

And then just last night I sat down and had a Skype with my parents who had their iPad awkwardly sat at the kitchen table, so I was getting a lot of chin. You know what they didn't say is that your parents would be holding up the cats on the Skype calls. They like to do that, don't they?

I don't think anyone could have predicted the important role that cats would play on anything internet-based. No. To be totally honest. But some of the jobs they did predict are from a 1988 article. So what's that, 30 years ago?

Yeah. There would be a range of exotic careers such as the ocean hotel manager. This was for a... They do have underwater hotels, though. There are some... And restaurants. But it's a hotel

with an underwater aspect. This was like sci-fi, everything underwater, like Atlantis. Like a floating city. Yeah, like, well, anchored, really, at the bottom of the ocean and you'd submarine down

and go through an airlock and then you could stay under the... But why wouldn't you just want the sun? Why wouldn't you? You'd just go want the sun? Why wouldn't you? You'd just go on a cruise ship, wouldn't you? Because how deep could it be before it started getting quite dark? Yeah, probably not that deep. No.

And they didn't take into account that we'd actually be worried about the ocean. We didn't realise it was going to be such an issue. Yeah. We don't want to be building things under there. A robot trainer was another one, which I guess is just a 1980s term for a programmer, right? Yeah. No, you'd be training robots to do things. Like a PT.

I thought you meant like a robot personal trainer. Okay, gives me five more. Bzzz, kick, bzzz, kick. Are you tired? Is that training you? No, I am a robot. That's training you. Oh, you were saying a robot.

Oh, okay. I thought the robots were getting fat. No. Work it, robot. Why am I doing this? Also, he predicted the autoburger, which was basically like a fast food joint, except there would be no humans involved in the process whatsoever. That hasn't happened yet, has it?

I mean, there are vending machines. Like burger dispensers. But someone has to stock those, don't they? So, yeah. Another person that wrote for this article said, by the year 2000, there will be no need for a work week any longer than 32 hours. If only.

Because technology will be on our side. And said, the only job a woman won't be holding down as a Catholic priest, and that says more about the church than it does about a woman won't be holding down as a Catholic priest and that says more about the church than it does about a woman's ability to be one. They said.

Is that far off? I don't know. I think they do have some female. Nah. Oh, not priests? Nah. Not yet.

I think it's kind of on the cards though. Right. This latest dude that they've got in the Catholic church, what's his name? Benedict.

Nah, he was the angry German. Eggs. Who? Benedict Cumberbatch. No, no, no, no. That was Pope Benedict. The last one, he was the angry German one. You're thinking of the English actor that played Doctor Who.

Francis. Pope Francis. Yeah. Not Benedict. Oh, you're right. Different guy. Different guy. Okay, all right.

So, I mean, we've fallen short on some areas. What if you can find Beyond 2000 on YouTube? Honestly, if you're young, it will blow your mind what people were like, oh, there was a... There was an episode. We used to watch it. He's enjoying himself. We used to watch it every week as a family.

Basically, so we could sit around and hear my dad go, phew. No way. Not in my lifetime. He'd always say that when we were watching Beyond 2000. There was an episode

about microwaves. There was microwaves at the time, but they were talking about the advancements of microwaves and how everyone would just be cooking

steak on microwaves. And everyone in my house was like, you don't cook steak in the microwave. Not going to happen. And then the microwave went ding and mum had just finished cooking a chicken in the microwave not gonna happen and then the microwave went ding

and mum had just finished cooking a chicken in the microwave which had been in there for like three hours a chicken whole chicken baby whole chicken

she only just stopped doing it because I reckon by the time we get to 2040 um microbes will be able to defrost

make correctly nah nah nah they'll never be able to heat anything properly either they'll always the outside will be hot, the inside will be frozen.

The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. Hello. Today's Top Six of the Top Six are different animal organs that I would, I'd be keen to have. Okay. Apparently, humans were now one step closer to receiving animal organs after a baboon was given a pig's heart and lived for six months.

Okay. Did he need a new heart or were they just like shits and gigs? I don't know. It feels like... I hope he needed it. Me too. Like, I had imagined the baboon was lying there

and he was like, tell my family I love them. And then someone comes running in, great news, I've found you a heart. He's like, Tell my family I love them. And then someone comes running in. Great news! We've found you a heart! He's like, Who's? A pig's.

What? It's a first. Do you want to give this a go? What have I got to lose? And then there's a story about how it gave him six months more to organise his dream funeral or something. That's how it goes in my head anyway. But it got the baboon's heart it goes in my head anyway. Yeah.

But it got the baboon's heart and it worked for a little bit longer. This is called xenotransplantation. Xenotransplantation is basically transplanting from one animal to another interspecial situation. So if this is the go, these are the top six organs I'd have from different animals.

Okay. Number six. Dolphin's lungs. Oh, yeah. Good. Okay. Number six. Dolphin's lungs. Oh, yeah. Good. Because I was going to say whale's lungs, but they'll be too big to fit. Yeah. I think whales and dolphin's lungs are more likely to fit in somewhere, aren't they?

Yeah. And then you'd be able to hold your breath underwater for ages. I'd even, you know what? I'll say it. I'll even have a blowhole on my back. Like nine times out of ten, it'll be covered. Yeah. But I'll be able to still breathe out of my mouth, so I'll say it. I'll let Evan have a blowhole on my back. Like nine times out of ten it'll be covered. Yeah. But I'll be able to still breathe out of my mouth so I won't choke.

But if I go underwater, if I have to have one. Would you have to put holes in your T-shirt? Because you wouldn't want to choke on your blowhole. No, but then I'd definitely finger his blowhole. Oh, yeah. I'd be standing here doing my work. I'd be like. Wake up!

Tell your finger I want a blowhole! That's what would happen. And you'd be like, Oh God, you know you can't do that. Can't finger a blowhole without telling me. You've got to HR for that. If you want to touch it, that's okay. But just give me some warning. The top six animal organs I'd like to have from different animals are number five, gorilla biceps.

Oh, yeah. Gorillas are so tough. Yeah. Like, they look tough, but they don't look ten times as strong as humans tough. Like,

they'd rip your arms off. Orangutans and lots of primates can just tear your arms straight off. But they always look like they've got little bellies. They don't have abs.

No, because they're chill. They're chill dogs. They don't show off. They're just like those, you know those people you see that you're like, man, they look tough, but they don't go to the gym or anything. They're just naturally, genetically, they're strong. And they've always got a tank on them because they love a beer.

Or 18. Number four on the list of the top six animal organs I would have from different animals. Caitlin made me write this one. The heart of a dog. Oh, yeah. Because I think she thinks the heart is responsible for the stuff that the brain actually runs. Yeah, but it's not.

Wait, what? No, because dogs love everyone. Yeah, but that's the brain thing. It's not a heart thing. The heart literally just pumps blood around the body. That's its job. Oh, but that's just, that's, oh, you're so technical. Well, I mean, we are.

Listen with your heart. Transpiring an organ from one animal to another is quite technical. I don't think I've ever really thought about that. What? That your heart doesn't control. Your heart does nothing to control. No. Emotions.

You've got a good heart. It's just a saying. Yeah. It can feel the, like, if you're, like, stressed all the time, the hormones that are released into your body can affect the old heart. Right. But, no, the heart doesn't control. It's a good thought, Kate.

Yeah. Thanks for killing my Friday. So, basically, you met the brain of a dog, but then you'd be like. No, you don't want the brain of a dog. Nah, because you'd be sniffing, like, intern Anya's butt right now. You'd be like, nice to meet you. Yeah, just see how she was. Rather than be like, what are you playing for the weekend?

You'd be like... Yuck. Number three on the list of the top six organs I'd have from different animals is actually another heart, but an actual heart, a horse's heart. Oh, okay, yeah.

Never tired. Big old heart, the horse. Would it fit? I feel like they've got big hearts. You'd probably be out the door. Yeah, you'd probably be like, you'd just be sitting there and you'd just be able to see your shirt going...

But it might help in next year's Melbourne Cup, though. Your ribs would be at a door. Yeah, you'd probably be like, you'd just be sitting there and you'd just be able to see your shirt going. But it might help in next year's Melbourne Cup, though. Your ribs would be flexing out. Oh, just like cross-country day at school. Start small. Here he comes and you're just like. Someone on your back belting the shit out of you. Noses bleeding. And your blowhole's going in overtime.

Your biceps are just tearing everything to bits. Number two on the list of the top six organs I'd have from different animals. I actually researched the most effective liver in the animal kingdom. Okay.

Because I thought a liver is a good thing to be able to punish. With all the Christmas drinking? Yeah. But basically when I googled that, all I could find was the best dishes with liver in it at the restaurants at Disney's Animal Kingdom.

Okay. Best liver in the Animal Kingdom. It's like, are you looking for places to eat at the Animal Kingdom? And then there is somewhere where you can eat liver. Oh, right. Yuck. And of course, they do serve cheese and chicken liver pate. So instead, I went for the kidneys and I went for a cat's kidneys.

Okay. Because a cat's kidney, cats can drink salt water. And the kidneys are so good they'll desalinate. Really? Yeah, they'll desalinate salt water and keep them alive for a bit. Whereas we have not developed to that. Okay. Tigers, I think it's a big cat thing.

Right. And the number one on today's top six organs from different animals I'd have if I could. I realise it's a little bit more of a limb than an organ, but I'd have to have a monkey's tail. Oh, yeah. It's a dream of mine to have a tail. Because it's cute. It's cute, but also like super practical. Yeah.

Like you could hold on to things and like lean right forward or... You could put your own tail in your own blowhole. You could actually clear your blowhole. You had to go and make it sexy, didn't you? Oh. Don't come in! What are you doing in there? Well, I'm certainly not tailing me blowhole. Oh, you're not tailing your blowhole again, are you?

Get out of here or I'll pull you to bits with my gorilla arms. I'm a freak of nature. That's today's top six. Fletch, Vaughn and Megan. The podcast. A weird story. A very unusual story. I mean, the first part isn't unusual.

This sort of stuff happens all the time when someone's view has been blocked by a tree. There's various ways to get rid of trees. You poison them. Ring bark them. They drill holes in them, don't they? They drill holes and then pour poison in them. Those sorts of things. Is that like illegal? Yeah, wildly illegal.

It's not your tree to be poisoning. It's property of the council. Massive fines. You'd go to court. Some people, you might get prison, eh? But more than likely, just a huge fine. So Arcles Bay, this is north of Auckland, had some pahutukawas poisoned.

Hacked at and poisoned the pahutukawas. Yeah, like beachside pahutukawas. It always blows my mind when someone does this because the first suspects you're going to look at... Are the people whose view just got a whole lot better. Like, exactly. It's hardly the crime of the century, is it? It's not something you're going to get away with. No.

You're not going to be able to get away with it. Well, this person has got away with it so far. Right. This is the weird thing about it. There was a story on October 15 that was published. Okay.

Two weeks later, the reporter that wrote that received an envelope and inside that envelope was a scrapbook that had $1,500 worth of $50 notes stapled into its pages.

Legitimate currency all in $50. notes stapled into its pages. Legitimate currency, all in $50. All stapled. There's a photo of it here. All stapled, just four to a page. Staple, staple, staple, staple. $1,500 worth. In 2015. No, October 15.

Oh, I thought you said... I was like, why has there been a delay in the story? Well, it took them ages to get those 50, all those notes. No, October this year, October 15. And so two weeks later, this arrives and they're stapled in with an anonymous note at the front that looks like someone wrote it really trying to make it not look like your handwriting. You know when you have to write something and pretend to be somebody else.

I used my left hand. Yeah, it looks like it, but they've also like trying to do flash things. Like, you know, I do an R, a stick, with like a roof coming off. Yep. But they've done one of those R's that like... Has a little tail.

It starts at the top and goes floaty. Oh, fancy. Yeah, like a fancy old lady R. I reckon a handwriting specialist would be able to work out what the deal is here. Yeah. Where it says, when we...

It's also riddled with heaps of spelling mistakes and stuff. Right. When we read your sad newspaper article, we knew who from our family. We found the tools

in our shed. I am sorry for the trees being hurt and my family has collected this money from giving to people helping the trees. What?

Collected this money from giving to the people helping the trees. But again,ed this money from giving to the people helping the trees. And again, that could be putting us off with bad grammar. Yeah. We are very sorry this has happened to the nice people of Arcles Bay. May God bless and help the trees. We'll know God once you've got a dead purticar on your hands. Nothing God can do.

No. From our sorry and sad family. So the reporter that wrote the story that had the scent to them handed it in to the police. They did forensic analysis, came back with nothing. So they used gloves. So they must have. Also, I'm sure there are

serious crimes waiting to be solved. You're telling me the lab, they rushed that through the lab to test? I don't think it got the full treatment, say, if a human was murdered and a scrapbook arrived saying, sorry, we know who murdered this person. It probably didn't get that full treatment. Right.

But there must have been no fingerprints on it. No. Wow, okay. No fingerprints, no hair caught in the little bindery bits in the middle. Yeah. So the police said, well, return the money to the journalist.

Yeah. And at that stage, I would have been like, it's mine. Let's go out for dinner. A wild, crazy dinner. But no, it was donated

to a Crimson Project's Trees That Count. And they've funded a whole lot of tree planting. Right. So they're planting a whole lot more native trees. Yeah.

Got a lot of support for the New Zealand. I love the Pohutukawa. Yeah. It brings in the tuis. Yeah, it brings in the tuis. It's a sign that it's about to be summer when the red flowers come out, the vibrant red flowers.

Massive fan. So this tree that they poison, is that dead? Gone. Gone. Yeah. See, what they should do as a punishment is put up like a cardboard cutout of the tree until the new tree grows to say, well, that's your problem. That's your fault.

You don't definitely know that it is. You're getting a blocked view. Wow. I mean, point the finger, Megan. I personally think they should plant a bushier tree. Maybe a totara or something that just grows massive and blocked sun. Everyone. Yeah.

Just to teach everyone a lesson. FM. There's a neat photo going around online. You guys should all try to have a listen. FM. There's a neat photo going around online. You guys should all try to have a look. Oh, it's not hard to come across. Law firm Simpson Gresson got together for their awardees end of the year. Hey, you've done great. Yeah, that's what they call them.

Their awardees. Guys, you're going to make some. We're just going to make some awardees. So at that event, they had a photographer going around taking photos of people. And also at the event, as you would expect, there was beverages, alcoholic beverages in nature. Yeah. Including, but not limited to, champagne and flutes. And this is like a pretty up there law firm,

so I don't think it's your mum's $6 bottle of bubbly pop of koala for Christmas. It's nice. Yeah. Probably nice. Probably a bit of duits. No, it'd be nicer than that. Duits is very, D-U-E-T-Z, duits. Duits.

Duits, mowat. You know, probably some nice bottles. Anyway. You run out of, you can't, you don't know any nice champagne, do you? Bollinger. Dom Perignon. Yeah, that's expensive. I don't know if they're rocking a Dom.

I've seen that in Judy Free. Maybe for the senior partners. Maybe some Dom Perignon, but they're not giving that to the lowly ones that do all the work. No. So, in the photos that have come out, they've photoshopped out any sign of booze. There's groups of people, six or

so people, standing there and obviously holding champagne flutes because their hands are in the way that you hold champagne flutes or wine glasses, and they're photoshopped out. Why? Have you seen the photos? But I don't understand what the problem is.

You expect them at the Christmas party to have, like, bubbles or whatever, celebrate. Obviously, there's been issues in the past, and I don't believe it, this law firm, but others, where there's been, you know, the sexual harassment, the boozy culture. Yeah, yeah. There was the one last year, quite high profile situation

and people saying it's definitely a problem in the law industry. So they're obviously taking careful steps. They're aware of public perception. If you saw a photo and everyone's boozing up, you'd be like, well, they've done nothing to remedy the problem. So they've remedied the problem by hiring someone. And I'll admit, pretty good. Yeah, you can't see any traces. Apart from the fact that the hand

is definitely holding something. It all just looks like they've got kind of a weird hand thing. Hand gesture. Yeah. But why doesn't they just do creps? Yeah, it's like the law, firm gang hand gesture.

Why don't they just think about that beforehand and be like, hey, everyone pose for photos, just put your glasses on. So my parents are like at my wedding. If the photographer was taking photos of the crowd, did they say that to you guys? No. We were away getting bridal party photos,

but apparently they'd be like, put that down for the photo. Like, because we want that. Put the glasses on. It's like when they make everyone take sunglasses off for photos outside. Everyone's like squinting and all like. Your sunglasses on, your eyes are used to low light, and then you take them off and everyone's squinting. They're like, sunglasses off just for the photo, just for the photo.

That's brilliant. I want to see more of these photos because there's only a couple on the news article. Yeah, I want to see more photos from workplaces where things have been shopped out. Just photoshopped out. Have you? Because we talked about at my brother's wedding, my sister's old partner was there and he's not part of the family anymore. Is it uncouth to photoshop him out?

Because Charlotte, my wife, is a pretty dab hand at photoshop. She could definitely get rid of him. You know when you get family photos and the new girlfriend or boyfriend's like, oh, hey, just one without you. Just without you. I've done that. Just in case you break up, we don't want you in these photos forever. We want an option without you because how serious is this?

Or do we photoshop my sister's husband's head on her old partner's body? Dude, who had the better body though? Because he wouldn't want to. I have pretty good bods. Oh, well that's fine then. That's fine. The bods are transferable Skin tone Transferable

Noticable skin tone between neck and or you just go up to the time Go up to the Yeah go up to the No one's going to be able to tell the difference by the time it gets to the hands

like they could be a farmer that wears a hat Yeah true You know different skin tones I'd like to know though on 0800DOLZM or you can text 9696 What did your work

try to like sweep under the rug? A little bit of like nothing to see here. Like no alcohol at this party. Yeah. Oh, no, there certainly wasn't. I don't think people are going to call up Vaughan and say. No, because I've tried to cover it up for a reason.

No, it'd probably be easier if you no longer work there. Oh, yeah, because no one's going to call up. We don't go no names. Like maybe just say the industry. Right. Like our financial, the place I used to work, which was in the financial sector, had to Photoshop cocaine out from under people's noses.

We all know the financial sector loves a little bit of that. Are you just talking about Photoshopping? No, no, no. A scandal. Just anything. Did your workplace have a scandal that they just swept under the rug? Oh, wait. But then this is, we are exaggerating it

because there's no scandal at this law firm. No, there's no. Weirdly, they've just decided to Photoshop the booze out. That we know of. But lawyers making it up. Megan, yeah, I was getting what Vaughn was doing. Megan was. I was like, oh, no scandal to see here.

Great lawyers, great people. Certainly nothing to Megan's like, they're doing something. I dare them to sue me. Oh, yeah. Okay. So that would just be. No scandal. It's called balance.

Luckily, this is a personal liability case against you. No, it's nothing here. Fletch and I have professionally distanced ourselves from the commentary provided by one Megan Louise Sellers on Friday the 7th of December 2018. But I don't know whether or not it's getting rid of booze in a photo. Yeah. What has your workplace tried to cover up? Maybe they have covered it up successfully.

I'm covering. I don't know. Scandal. We'll see what we can get. Oh, 800diles.com. You can text as well. 9696. Wow. We are getting some gossip. Scandal. I don't know. Scandal. We'll see what we can get. Oh, 800diles.m, you can text as well. 9696. Wow, we are getting some goss, some scandal.

What was that? We want to know what your workplace has tried to sweep under the rug, or maybe they've done it successfully. Yeah. A law firm photoshopped out all the booze at their party, and it's gone viral, which is exactly what they were wanting to avoid. It's a great job, but they didn't photoshop the hands,

so the hands are just in these weird positions. Like holding up in front of everyone. Yeah. With like the fingers a bit like that. Yeah. The photos are so weird. And that's the other thing. People are saying, well, it's a bit PC gone mad.

You should be allowed to have a boozy. Bubbles at your work party. It's not like it was photos. They were Photoshopping out, you know, keg stands. No, they left them in. But they photoshopped out the keg, so it just looks like a bunch of lawyers holding another lawyer upside down. What do you get?

Nothing wrong with that. The yard glass, some guy just looks like he's taking a knee and looking up to the sky with his mouth open. But that's the thing. They weren't photoshopping alcohol out of really boozy situations. No, it was just standing there. It was a classy event. It's madness.

Wow. Where do we start? I just want to say we're going to tread very lightly and not drag anybody into any specific. Anyway, someone said, when I worked in landscaping, I had to cover for the boss. Oh, Megan, landscaping is full of scandals. Really? And you know what? If they kill someone, they just bury them under the roses.

Or the retaining wall. They'd be a great job to bury people in. Under a retaining wall. If you were a mass murderer. Unless there was a slip. Oh, yeah, true. Then you're uncovered. You'd be around there to fix that retaining wall pretty quickly.

You would. I was in landscaping. Had to cover for the boss who was on the gear in front of customers at 9am on a Monday morning after a weekend long blowout. Oh my God. That'd be some good, you'd probably get a lot of work done though. Woo! Let's take

the boot joke! We'll take some calls. Jordan, what happened? A couple years back we were at a Christmas function taking some photos with a crew. Yep. And one of them, our boss, was at the back kissing one of the staff members. Oh, no.

That's a pay rise, baby. And he said, oh, can you take that photo off Facebook, blah, blah, blah. And I said, how much are you going to give me, sarcastically? He said, 500 bucks. I was like, deal. And that scandal was successfully swept under the rug. Yep. Nobody ever knew besides the people that were in the photo because I showed everyone.

Now, did you give everyone else in the photo $500 or did you keep that all? Nah, it was a one-man mission. He's lucky. The boss is lucky his face was stuck to someone else because otherwise Facebook would just, like, facial recognition tag him. Oh, yeah.

And that'd be hard to Photoshop just her out, eh? Easy Christmas bonus. He's kissing no one her out, eh? Easy Christmas bonus. He's kissing no one. Good on you for a Christmas bonus. Yeah, no, I love that. And the thing is, it wasn't blackmail because you'd already done it and you jokingly said how much

and he offered up $500. I'm pretty sure it's still blackmail. It wouldn't stick. Thanks, you're cool, Jordan. Kylie, what happened? Well, I was the marketing coordinator for a company and we had contracted system guys who used to, you know,

run the system in the background. I like this vagueness, it's good. It's great vagueness, let's keep up the vagueness. Keep the vagueness up. And I was getting hit on all the time by this one guy in particular. We'd go to staff drinks and things like that and I always knew he had a gorgeous partner

and thought, oh, this is just his personality. He thought nothing of it. Until it started to get a bit too much. So I went and spoke to my supervisor and my manager. He was called into a meeting and then I was pulled back into the office and was made redundant. What?

Who was? You were. I was. No! That's not how it works. And they paid me out $10,500 to keep quiet. Was that enough? I mean, obviously not because you're telling us.

It was four days before Christmas that they made me redundant. That's a great time. As long as there's a good payout, that's not a bad time. And did you end up finding a job in the new year? No, I ended up moving back to New Zealand. And once I'd explained everything to my parents, everybody was just like, why didn't you sue them? Yeah, why didn't you sue them? That's ridiculous.

Oh, my God. And they swept it under the rug and paid you out. That's terrible. And they paid me out enough to know that because I was in Australia with my family and things like that. And it was that time of year that it would push me over the edge and send me home. And it did. That's terrible, isn't it? Wow.

I like that you told us that, though. It's good to know that these things happen. Yeah, exactly. You're kidding yourself if you think it's not. Thanks, you cool Kylie. Ask some text messages. Some text messages in. I worked in an industry

that involves picking things off bushes. Not everybody's great at the vague game. I like the vagueness more. Not everybody's great. So we had to cover up because we had people without working visas sleeping in their cars there and picking in the daytime.

Right. And someone let out that this was happening. The appropriate authorities came to investigate and we pretended we were all having a party and a sleepover. Oh, my God. They weren't buying that, were they? No. No.

I wouldn't think so. If you were the authorities, you'd just come back another time and they'd be like, oh, another party. But they got away with it. They swept it under the rug. Yeah. Okay. Swept it right under the rug.

Somebody said, hold on, I'm just going to word how to word this. No, that's absolutely not doable. I can't tell you that story without. Without going to prison or going to court. A few of those stories. Yep. Oh, quite a few. Somebody said, my workplace covered up from my wife at some hot afternoons.

I have a few beers, sometimes a few too many. I'm a dairy farmer and I work on my own, so all I do is go and have a sleep in the barn. But it's a real sweep under the rug situation. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. I work, this is pretty shocking. I work at a hospital. The Prime Minister was coming to visit and we knew the

route that she was going to take, so we painted the stairwell, half a ward and one hospital room. The rest of the areas she didn't visit stayed completely untouched. But wouldn't you want to take her through the bad part so you can be like, we need that fixed. Take her through the worst bit. So she's like, oh no, that's awful. She's not your landlord. It sounds like you're covering up the hole you put in after a party.

Yeah, with a poster. Yeah, no, you want to show the bad stuff. Yeah, take her through the garage, the old ass lift. But it's also probably the people higher up trying to cover their asses. Yeah, that's probably more it. And lots of other text messages that I can't read out because I don't want to be seen. It's the festive season and we all like to eat and drink a little bit too much. During Christmas Day, I'm always

having nice eggs on toast for breakfast and then you start the day right and then don't snack much. You always start with good intentions. Are you shitting me? I always try to. I'm a box of favourites in scorched almonds down by 10am. In scorched almonds, you're like, one, two,

three, where did that bowl go? Do you put them in a bowl? That's real posh. My mum always pours them in a bowl Scorched almonds down by 10 a.m. Oh, and scorched almonds, you're like, one, two, three. Where did that bowl go? Yeah. Do you put them in a bowl? That's real posh. Yeah, my mum puts them in a bowl. Oh, no, my mum always pours them in a bowl, too. She said you can monitor that way because in the box, it's a real surprise when you get to the end.

And she's right. You know, you're pouring them and you're eating them, pouring them, and then you're like, oh, my God, who ate all of these? No, but then the same with the bowl. The bowl's suddenly empty and you're like, oh, my God, guys, we finished this. And, like, no one's had any but you.

I know. You can see them at least, empty and you're like, oh my God, guys, we finished this. And like, no one's had any but you. I know. You can see them at least, you're a bit like. Yeah. Well, a list has been released of things, treats, and how much calories and stuff are actually in these treats. And what you can substitute these treats. Don't give me substitutes. Just humor me for a second.

Oh, the first one's like one of my favorites. Right. Shortbread. Shortbread. Shortbread comes out in like Christmas tins and everything. See, I don't mind shortbread, but I'm not wasting Christmas calories on shortbread.

There's so many better things to eat at Christmas. Yum, yum. Love a bit of buttery shortbread. Just a single finger of shortbread if this is your... What? You're so immature. Shortbread always comes in fingers. No, it doesn't. It does. I always have shortbread in squares. No, or round biscuits.

Yeah. Or circular shortbreads. I never would have a finger of shortbread. Don't get your shortbread at us. You get those ones. You'd have to have at least two fingers. One finger would certainly not do. Yeah, that's why.

You know scotch fingers? They come in two and then you can like break them. You know how they come like in two and a bit down the middle? This is used to me. This must be posh shortbread. Rita always made shortbread and it was in squares and when I buy them

they're circular. If you're having homemade shortbread it's in like. I've never had a finger of shortbread. I love them. I love. I love.

It doesn't matter if I love fingers of shortbread. I love. I love them so much. I love them so much. I love them buttery little traits. Buttery them buttery little treats.

Little treats, buttery tweets. Little tweets. And a single finger of shortbread, five grams of fat and more than 100 calories. So if you're eating

multiple fingers, it's going to be a lot. Okay. So they've said to substitute it with biscotti. Oh, yeah. I hate biscotti.

With just 20 to 30 calories and one gram of fat per serve, it's much better than shortbread. But no one's eating that. What's the origins of biscotti? I don't know. With just 20 to 30 calories and one gram of fat per serve, it's much better than shortbread. But no one's eating that. What's the origins of biscotti? I don't know.

A biscuit that's cooked way too long. Or just like stale biscuits, right? Something to break your teeth. Like old, buggered biscuits. Yeah, I'm not a fan. No, you literally have to like go in with the purpose of making biscotti. It's not just old biscuits. Yeah, it's disgusting.

You're supposed to have it with coffee. Yeah, you're supposed to dip it in your coffee. No one does that. Dips. So they're like, you have it with chippies or you have it, some people But you have to dip it. Yeah, you're supposed to dip it in your coffee. No one does that. Dips. So they're like, you have it with chippies or you have it, some people have it with veggies or whatever. And you think you're being healthy. But if it's like the dip that we know, that kiwi dip,

can be quite high in fat. In calories. It kind of seems like free calories because you count the chip, but you don't count how many calories are in the dip. True. So they're saying lots of dips, obviously quite high in fat and calories. Seek out other options such as tzatziki,

salsa, or beetroot dips. What? Tzatziki? Yeah. That sounds like Zika. Oh, I actually quite like that. Tzatziki. Because you know, what's tahini? I don't think you say tzatziki. Oh, I always said it's tzatziki. Is the T silent? Is the T silent like tsunami? Tzatziki. No think you say tzatziki. I always said it's tzatziki. Is the T silent?

Is the T silent like tsunami? Tzatziki. No, it's tzatziki. Tzatziki. You don't say the first T. I always say tzatziki. I always say tzatziki. I've always said tzatziki.

Oh, I love a bit of tzatziki. It's like somebody did a chicken tzatziki. Or a lamb tzatziki. I'd be like, oh yeah, the lamb tzitzitzi or a lamb tzitzitzi. I'd be like, oh, yeah, the lamb tzitzitzi. Holy moly, you don't say the T. That makes life so much easier. It's like when you found out that fajita was fajita. Oh, it's fajita all the way to the bank, baby.

Pastry-based canapes. Obviously, the pastry is not good for you. So have just the meat. Go for, like, lamb skewers, lamb, chicken, all that kind of stuff. Chocolates, I love how they've just said look, you know,

if you eat a big piece of Toblerone it's 200 calories. Be careful with the scorched almonds and there's no alternative. One triangle is 200, you know the giant block? No, no.

Oh, okay. Oh, one piece. One piece of giant Toblerone. Yeah, I knew that that stuff was loaded. 200. Mind you, a piece of giant Toblerone. Yeah, I knew that that stuff was loaded. 200! Mind you, a piece of giant Toblerone's big. Yeah. Should you be eating more than one of those?

Yeah, but I could easily do a giant Toblerone over the summer break. A whole thing. Or a week. I'm shook. That's a lot, eh? There's no alternative for chocolate. They're just saying don't eat it. And drinks. They say if you're planning on having a lot of drinks, go light on your food

calories because your body will be busy burning off the alcohol and it means that the food calories are more likely to be stored. No, basically it's saying eating's cheating. That's not good advice. I mean, it's great advice, but it's also not good advice. And then when you drink, you just want to eat more. Like, later you're like, burn it up. What are some drinks

that are, like, good? Like, people say... White spirits and soda water. eat more. Like, later you're like, What are some drinks that are, like, good? Like, people say... White spirits and soda water. Yeah, white spirits, soda water, like vodka soda. Boring. Yeah, it's a bit on the boring side of things. Is champagne good or bad in calories? No, when Caitlin worked out that time,

there's less calories in a flute of champagne than a glass of red wine. Okay, well, there we go. Yeah, so if you want to have more drinks. Champagne. Champagne. I like how when you're young, it's like, how can I drink the most for money? And then when you get older, it's like, how can I drink the most for calories?

That's why you have to drink straight vodka and just be like a real hard bitch. A Russian Christmas. Yeah. FEM. Huge fan of Javacados. So much so that I say them in the traditional Spanish pronunciation

of avocados. Right. Avocados to you uncultured swines. But the CEO of Avocado New Zealand. Are you mates? Is that a thing?

We're very good friends. Right. Well, I'm going to be an official avocado supplier when it all kicks off. Megan got you an avocado tree for your secret Santa. Cleopapus is going in the ground today. Because it's a Cleopatra.

Cleopatra is from the Papus. So, yeah, Cleopapus is going in the ground today. So expect avocados in five to six years. Jen has said, though, that avocado squeezing pre-purchase is a huge problem in New Zealand. And not only in New Zealand, this is in Australia as well. Isn't there signs now that say,

please don't squeeze these? I want to know I'm not, because, you know, sometimes you pick them up and you give it a light squeeze and your fingers are in the middle, you've gone through the skin, because they're soft, soggy almost. Yeah.

You've got to be careful you're not getting one of those. Well, this is the problem though because you pick it up, give it a light squeeze. Somebody else picks it up, gives it a light squeeze. Every time you squeeze it, it's softening it a little bit. And then the person who eventually goes, that feels about right, takes it home, cuts it open, and it's full of bruises because of all the squeezing it's been having.

Oh, that quite often happens. So she said the reason that avocados, and we've all had this happen, go from looking sweet as in the fruit bowl to just being a brown write-off and sort of a semi-bankruptcy of sorts, a avocado spankruptcy, is because of how vigorously people are squeezing them. The bruising can take 24 hours to develop. So you're taking home what you think is a nice soft avocado, but it's being squeezed to the point of softness

and then the rot sets in the minute you get it home. Right. So the problem is the aggressive squeezing pre-purchase. So what are they saying to do instead? You're supposed to push the little knobbly bit, right, at the end. Just give that a little like doot-doot and if it's like soft. I'm not saying there's a perfect way to do it because if you push the knobbly bit and the next person pushes the knobbly

bit then it's going to be soft and they're going to take home a rock hard. Because a lot of places have like a colour guide don't they? Like a guide and you hold it up. You hold it up and That's not a thing either. We've all had like, I've got one at home that's like rock hard but it's like black colour. I'm like how does that work? It looks like it's right

but it's rock hard. And what'm like, how does that work? It looks like it's ripe, but it's rock hard. And what's that avocado that's more round and like hard and green? Oh yeah, reed. Reed avocado, yeah. Because Haas is the traditional one, right? The one that we're... I like a reed. You like a reed? Because they're so round

and then you seem to get a more like even amount of avo every time. Because you know how sometimes it's like stone a little bit. Yeah. That's why I'll quite often get out my Swiss Army knife and just poke them to see when the knife stops, when it hits the stone. Okay. And you've got a little marker on your knife, don't you?

A little engraving to say not yet, not yet. And then if it's a big stone, I'll just put it back. Yeah. I'm not buying that because the stone's too big. No. No. I guess she'll be against that too. She said that the colour chart is pretty good as long as people haven't been squeezing the

hell out of them pre-purchase. The key is to get them when they're unloading them, the fresh batch onto the. Yeah, right. And then you get them then. Yeah. Or, I mean, when they're really cheap, you just buy them when they're green and then you ripen them yourself. Yeah, but you're really banking on being like, okay, so I'm going to have like guacamole

in four days. And then you forget. And then it's like five days and it's gone. Those are the days you've decided to do takeaways and the diet's out the window and you've wasted $14 of avocados. But then you eat all the fish and chips and then you're like, oh my God, I was going to have guacamole. So you have that as well.

It's no winning. Why not? I mean, that takeaways. Today's a write off. Get in there. Get in there. Treat yourself to a bit of guacamole. Why not? I mean, that takeaways. Today's a write-off. Get in there. Get in there. Treat yourself to a bit of guacamole. Next.

A little lime juice in there. Fresh cracked pepper. Coriander. Got some coriander. Chili. People who hate coriander put in there. No, they just leave it out. I know.

Oh, yeah. This is why. Fat. This is why. Fat. This is why. This is why. This is why. Fat. And drunk. And I'm fat. This is why I'm fat.

And drunk. And drunk. So we've got two food items to talk about today, both in Australia, but that doesn't mean that they can't come here or that they won't. Well, there'll be heaps of Kiwis going to Australia over summer too. True. Now, should we do the alcohol? We'll do the alcohol first.

Okay. Shall we? Yeah. Okay. So there is an establishment called. Okay. Shall we? Yeah. Okay. So there is an establishment called Gin Lane. They do quirky cocktails. Now, they are making alcohol-infused soft serves. So you can get the likes of an Aperol Spritz soft serve.

Okay. You can get like a Negroni. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a gin serve. Okay, okay. You can get like a Negroni. Oh, yeah, okay. That's a gin cocktail. That's interesting, yeah. I mean, you could get essentially anything. I would go for a Kahlua. Because you'd want a sweet cocktail, wouldn't you?

And a coconutty one. So what's that? Is it Malibu? Malibu. Yeah, go a Malibu. You could get a Pana Colada. Yeah, with a bit ofu. You could get a pina colada. Yeah. With a bit of Kailua in there.

They've got a Singapore sling that they do as well. Daddy doesn't drink them anymore. No, after coming back on the plane. After going three on a flight and a couple of Uncle Fletcher's magic pills. Those are magic pills. Doesn't remember 12 hours of his life. They were sleeping pills. And or getting home to my house into my bed.

I told you, I only take one, but you took two. Yeah, and you just had your beanie over your face the whole time. I was like, he might be dead. Vaughn doesn't even remember getting home from the airport. I don't even remember customs. Because we were all together and we were like, where's Vaughn? Gone. It was like, you know, when you're at a party and you know that your time's limited,

you know that you're on a, you've literally got a clock ticking down above your head, you're like, I've got to move. I've got to go. Yeah. So that's your sweet thing. That's your frozen. Can we please, someone, please bring that to New Zealand? I mean, you could totally do that here, right?

I know, but we need someone with a fancy machine and stuff. Oh, yeah. Mr. Whippy. That'd spice up kids' parties, wouldn't it? Yeah, they'd probably have to clean out that machine before he went back to his ordinary rounds. R18 Mr. Whippy. Yeah, it'd be great, wouldn't it?

Yeah. Okay, the other thing, the other food trend that I've spotted in Australia, and I mean, there's no reason this couldn't happen here because we have a Burger King. What are they doing? But you know how they call it Hungry Jacks in Australia? Because ages ago someone... Some guy in Queensland owned Australian-wide

Burger King trademark. Yeah, and he wouldn't sell it to them, so it's Hungry Jacks. They have teamed up with Arnott's who make Shapes, and you can get a Shapes barbecue sprinkle for your fries in Australia. So you put the fries in a bag and then you sprinkle in the flavour

and shake them around and the fries get coated with the shapes flavouring. Pretty much, yeah. That's pretty legit. And they're all the same flavours as shapes. So you've got your barbecue. Pizza. Yeah. Barbecue's the best.

Could you get, what's that, just cheddar? Oh, my God. So they're doing it for the next 12 weeks over summer. So if you're holidaying in Australia. Sorry. Well, the only, the final I can see're doing it for the next 12 weeks over summer. So if you're holidaying in Australia. Sorry. Well, the only photo I can see is the barbecue flavour. I'm okay with that. Barbecue's legit.

Yeah, put them in a bag. Just like Maccas have done it too. You have the, I love when you can do that. It's so good. Yum. Add something a bit extra. Shade flavours though. Surely they'd bring them here.

Please. You'd be bloody crazy not to. If you met New Zealand, we love chips. And shake. And shake, like, exactly. And booze and ice cream. All right, next on the show. crazy not to. If you met New Zealand, we love chips and shape. And booze and ice cream. Alright, next on the show it's a flashback Friday. Friday Flashback.

Hello. So you've said all morning, you said as soon as we started the show, we've got an old song coming up this morning. A song that's 40, how many years old? 43 years old. We have never.

1977. We have never played a song this old. No, 1975. What? Yeah, October 1975 it was released. And hang on, has Ross Boss okayed this? He's okayed it. He's okayed it.

Unbelievable. We weren't even born. We weren't even thought of. We got an email. I like to think I was thought of. I was planned well ahead. Like before your mum even met your dad. No, they met at that stage. Oh, yeah, I think

they'd met at that stage. They weren't married. They were young. They were like, one day we'll have perfection. And then they ended up with you. Yeah, so they were like, hey day we'll have perfection. And then they ended up with you. Yeah. So they were like, hey,

you got to try these things. So we received an email during the week from a bar that has two karaoke rooms. Where's this going? And what they've done,

these karaoke rooms actually look really cool by the way. This bar, they're two karaoke machines at the Vodka Room have the identical top five songs in both rooms. Over the year? Over the year.

Right, okay. So these five songs, the top ten varied. The bottom five and the top ten varied between the rooms, but the top five in both rooms were exactly the same. Okay. Okay, so it's quite scientific. I'm going to, and I mean, this is, it goes without saying, I mean, these five are just great karaoke songs.

So are you playing? I'm playing number one. Wow. But I'm going to tell you about the other top. I'm going to tell you about the top five. Okay. So number five is Don't Stop Believin'. Don't stop believing.

My journey. It's a group toot song. It is. Hold on to that feeling. See, that's what it's like. Yeah. Number four slows it down a little bit. Cause baby, I am.

Oasis. You're gonna be the one that saves me. And when you're drunk, you believe that you're holding that note really well. And after, roll. You can roll through the words too. Yeah, this bar needs to release footage of people doing these songs. Yeah. It'd be great.

Like a compilation. Yeah. So let's go. Number three. Oh, yes. A song that you think you know all the words to until it's popping up on the screen and you're like, really? Lullaby.

I mean, all of these songs are like absolute bangers. Yeah. And, you know, we could totally do these for a Friday flashback. Well, now that we're going back 43 years, I feel like we've, we haven't even explored the 80s. Number two. This is so, yeah. Oh my God. No argument, no argument here.

In fact, haven't I seen you do this at karaoke? Yeah. This is a really go off on the Outback Dance Floor back in the Vaughan Smith heyday. Right, okay. But the number one song, which we are playing for today's Friday Flashback. And this is an absolute karaoke number one in New Zealand.

This has been two times played in New Zealand. 40,000 certified sales, but that's nothing compared to the United States where it sold one million copies physically. Right. 4.5 million copies digitally. So six times platinum in the United States. The song is from 1975.

The reason I'm allowed to play it is because it is an absolute karaoke classic and it's in a movie that everybody is going and seeing at the moment. Today's. Oh. Friday flashback. karaoke classic and it's in a movie that everybody is going and seeing at the moment. Today's Friday flashback. It's six songs in one, baby. It's six songs in one. Oh my God. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

You just got to introduce it on the radio. I know. And you don't even work on an old station. I know. Now stop talking. This is the part

where you've got to get into the mood for the song. Open your eyes. Okay. Look up to the skies. You're ruining it. It's your Friday flashback on ZM.

I'm just a poor boy. I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go. Little high, little low Any way the wind blows Doesn't really matter to me To me Mama Just killed a man

Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on Cause if nothing really matters Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me. He waved the wind blow It's your Friday flashback on Zedem, Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen, which turns out is the number one karaoke song at a bar. I'm trying not to puff. You unplugged your microphone and really made a spectacle of that. Wow, Freddie would strut. I think I hurt my toe. You strut around.

That's one of the first Friday flashbacks I hurt my toe. Just about right to strut around. Right. That's one of the first Friday flashbacks I haven't had to Google the lyrics to just to make sure I was getting it right. Right, okay. Just confidently threw myself at it. Feedback, you say? The oldest Friday flashback we've ever done. Had to go. Probably the longest too.

Yeah. My voice has gone funny. Best Friday flashback ever. Don't even bother doing it next week, somebody said. Oh, Megan, you've got to follow that up next week. My wife makes me listen to ZM every morning. It's finally paid off. That was for you.

You're welcome. That was just for you. You're welcome. There would have been a few people that are like, what station is this? Well, you get in the car and just be like, what's this? Somebody said that they were stuck in traffic

and looked around and when the headbanging part from Wayne's World came on, everybody was into it. You just have to. You can't not. God damn it, I've missed my turn off.

Somebody else arrived at work halfway through the song so did a couple of blocks. Yeah, worth it. Worth it. Yep. Somebody else just said they pulled up to the traffic lights

and the person next to them wound down the window and they wound down theirs and they had a moment when they were both like singing along to it. Somebody else just said they pulled up to the traffic lights and the person next to them wound down the window and they wound down theirs and they had a moment when they were both like singing along to it. Good. That's beautiful. A few people late for work. Worth it.

Somebody said, I'm driving with my, I just was driving with my knees so I could do the full guitar. Safe. Safe. Yeah. Yeah, just, there's not been anything bad. You need to go see Bohemian Rhapsody the movie too

I know Rami Malek does a fantastic job I know I thought when it came out and the critics were like Ron there's actually

some factual inaccuracies there just go and see it as a Queen fan he watched the Live Aid performance 1500 times

to nail everything that Freddie did in it so he killed it you've had it out of the park for him

great we shouldn't be afraid let's do film fight thing that Freddie did in there. Right. So, he killed it. You've had it out of the park for a while. Great. All right. We shouldn't be afraid. Let's do Film Fight. And we're on the search for the best Christmas movie. It's this time of the year where they start popping up on TV and they'll be like, hey, we're going to start doing movies on a Friday night. And you're like, Christmas movies?

Really? Oh, it's, you know not 17 days today away from Christmas. Almost two weeks. The malls will be unbearable this weekend, as if they're not already. I went to one yesterday. You got to a mall yesterday. You hate going to malls.

I know. Even worse, I went to a Kmart. And it got me. Even during the day on a weekday. I bought those folders that are like harmonicas, and you open them up, and you put your documents, and then you write different things. I bought like, you know those folders that are like harmonicas and you open them up and you put your documents and then you write like

different things. File of facts. Dads and mums always had them. Oh, I don't know what it is. Two of them. Two. I don't know. Why?

Personal, business. Right. I bought, yeah, I bought a lot of stuff. Right. They got me and then I said to Sade, I get it now.

I get it. They get you with the one thing then you buy all the stuff you don't need because it's like there. Yeah. She's so cheap. You finally understand me.

It's like, let's work on this together. Yep. Because I've experienced it now. Well, and Megan must be even closer. Megan started wrapping her presents in matching wrapping. Did you see my wrapping? Okay, pretty good. Thank you.

I saw it on your Instagram story. How do you wrap something that's round? Like a ball. I put it in a box. Ah, hot play. Thank you. I saw it on your Instagram story. How do you wrap something that's round? Like a ball. I put it in a box. Ah, hot play. Oh, that's cheating. Plus, you can tell it's a ball if you wrap a ball. Got to go on a box.

Right, make it all square. Yeah. Then it fits your profile as well. So we're searching for the ultimate festive movie. We want you to vote on what is your ultimate favourite Christmas movie, and we've moved on to the semis. Yes, we have. We've had enough eliminations to move on.

You can vote on these on our Instagram, FBM on Instagram. You may also see some people overdoing it to a Queen song. And now we've got four left in our semifinals. We have the absolute classic, Love Actually. Yep. We have The Holiday. Home Alone. Home Alone. Home Alone.

And The Polar Express. And The Polar Express. Those are the four that advanced from the first round. Those are what's left. Now, today's movies that are up against each other. First, Home Alone. When the McAllister family left on their Christmas vacation. Did we miss the flight?

No, you just made it. They forgot one small thing. Have yourself terrible feelings. Kevin! Home alone. Like, they left their kid at home. Why weren't

they in prison? Yeah. Like, think about it. Well, you never, you never had the follow-up what happened Boxing Day on. Like, they very well may have had actual law enforcement

Well, no, but they had a home alone too and his parents were still around. Oh, they were out on parole. He wasn't in SIPs care and they made the same mistake again.

But my thing, and I'm glad the meme's going around again because this is a kid who always blew my mind how Kevin McAllister's dad afforded to take his entire family

on holiday and live in that nicer house. He was definitely like embezzling or like white collar fool. Oh yeah, he was a Wall Street banker. Had to have been.

Had to have been in finance. Now, Home Alone is up against another movie which Megan, you picked from the start as being quite up there. You guys

have never seen it so you can't sass it. the poster alone makes the movie look horrible. It's got couples on it, so you can't sass it. Oh, the poster alone makes the movie look horrible. It's got couples on it. Who are looking at each other lovingly. It's like one of those Valentine's Day. It's got attractive people.

It just looks soppy and yuck. The holiday. Do you know the actual, oh, you don't even know the house. The cottage in the holiday. The English cottage. No, Cameron Diaz goes to the cottage. It's Kate Winslet's cottage. It's up for sale in real life right now.

Oh, God, that'll add a few bit of value to it. It's up against Home Alone, up against the holiday. Iris and Amanda are in exactly the same place. Where do I want to go? By myself, depressed at Christmas. Just 6,000 miles apart. Home exchange. We switch houses, cars, Christmas. Just 6,000 miles apart. Home exchange. We switch houses, cars, everything.

Bingo. I need you to answer this. Are there any men in your town? Perfect. I'm here. I'm here. As one door closes. That'll be interesting.

Another one opens. Oh. Hi. Hello. I'm Miles. I'm Graham. I was his brother. Do you want some company? Yeah, love some. Okay, in real life they wouldn't have been that hot.

With Kate Winslet's brother. Jude Law plays Kate Winslet's brother. Yeah. Okay. I was trying not to give away too much of the plot. She left a stranger into her house. She let a stranger into her house and swapped. It was like a house swap. It was Airbnb. With no financial, just like, you can use my house. A straight a stranger into her house. It was like a house swap. It was Airbnb with no financial,

just like, you can use my house. A house swap. Okay, right. One of them should have gone to the Southern Hemisphere and had a summer Christmas. That would have been a better.

Like a Kiwi batch. Yeah, and it would have been, there would have been a whole lot of comical misgivings about seasonal change. Well, she went to LA. Like, it wasn't as if it was like winter.

Right, okay. Yeah. So those are up against each other. The holiday versus home alone. You can vote on our Instagram. You just click on which one and whoever wins this advances to the grand final. So that'll be up against either the winner of Love Actually

and the Polar Express, which I'm picking will be Love Actually. But Megan? It's Love Actually versus the holiday, Megan. Where do your alliances lie? Love Actually. Okay. Love Actually all the way.

And are you picking the holiday over Home Alone? Yes. What is the current voting saying? That's not the popular vote. Really? Home Alone's winning. Okay. That really upsets me.

Home Alone's a classic, but like the holiday, it's like sweet, romantic. Oh, imagine if Home Alone wins this one and then Love Actually wins and then it's Home Alone versus Love Actually. Home Alone's got to win that. No, Love Actually will win that, surely. Have you seen either of them? Yeah. Have you seen Love Actually?

Yeah, ages ago though. Wow, that surprises me. Did someone force you? Yeah, it was on at Christmas. Oh, you were trying to hook up with someone. And they were like, let's watch Love Actually. And you're like, oh, okay. Oh, I've heard great things.

No. And then like 20 minutes in, you're like, oh, you actually, oh, we're actually watching a movie. This is weird. I don't really do this. Okay. I put something on and then we'd hook up. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is that Donald Trump is the third tallest US president in history. And he's quite tall, isn't he? He is only one inch off being the tallest US. I'm glad that he's not. I know. You'd never hear that you're in. Don't tell him this because he'll get higher shoes. So the thing that made me look into the height of US presidents was there was a photo.

I think Michelle Obama put it up or it recirculated again because George H.W. Bush died. Yeah, this week. He was George Bush's that was president before Barack Obama. He was his father. And he was president back in early 90s. And there was a photo of Michelle Obama hugging George W. Bush and somebody said it's amazing, he's 5 foot 11

and she's towering him. Someone said she's wearing heels but still at 5 foot 11 and a half, 182 centimetres. That's quite tall. So, but Obama's taller. He always looks taller than her. Obama is 6 foot 1.

So I looked into the height of US presidents, and so many of them are above average height. The shortest one was 5 foot 1, so that's pretty cute. No, 5 foot 4. Sorry, not 5 foot 1. Is that shorter than me? It is, eh? Yeah, yeah, it that's pretty cute. No, five foot four. Sorry, not five foot one. Is that shorter than me? It is, eh? Yeah, yeah, it is shorter than you. Oh, cute.

There have been two US presidents in history shorter than you. Yeah, cute. That's going to feel good, eh? Yeah. Stand over them at the UN. Were they good ones or ones that people hated? No, they were real. I don't know.

They were just real old ones. Oh, yeah. They might have like... You know back in the olden days, people were real short? Yeah. We're just getting bigger. We are getting bigger. Yeah.

So the tallest one ever is Abraham Lincoln. This was not including the famous long hat. Oh, okay. I would have guessed him too. He just seems like real tall. Yeah. He's six foot... He was six foot four, 193 centimetres.

Right. Lyndon B. Johnson, he was second. He was 6'3.5, so he was only one centimetre off Abraham Lincoln. And then Donald Trump comes in at 1.91 metre. Oh. He's, like, remarkably tall. Yeah, sometimes you don't notice because he looks quite short and stout. Barack Obama always looked tall, but Donald Trump.

Donald Trump must weigh a bit, though, because he's got a... Do you remember famously he lied about his weight, didn't he? So his BMI would come down so he wasn't obese. Right. Like in some of those golf shots, it's like, untuck your shirt. Yeah. Like, pull your pants, slouch them just a little bit, and then untuck the shirt.

Oh, yeah, always tuck your shirt out to hide the roundy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So 191 centimetres. Barack Obama is 6 foot 1. Yep. JFK was the same height. I'm just thinking of famous presidents that people would know. George H.W. Bush, who just died, was 6 foot 2. Right.

So yeah, just taller, but they're all a pretty tall bunch. And today's fact of the day is Donald Trump is the third tallest US president in history. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. This is a public service announcement for people who own cats. Yes, that's me. That's you. And this is especially for you.

I don't think you're going to like this. There is a new piece that says that we should be walking our cats. I've seen pictures of people walking their cats, and they look like crazy cat people. We always laugh at them. It's only crazy to see someone walking their cat until you see someone walking their rabbit. And then you crazy people we always laugh at them it's only crazy to see someone walking their cat till you see someone walking their rabbit and then you're like okay cat person you're off the you're off the hook you're okay but then why why should it be weird

to see someone walking the cat when walking a dog's fine yeah well dogs look like they're liking it i've never seen a cat walking that's just like i'm into this i have a feeling if i tried to walk my cat i It would just lay down. It would just lay down. Because where do you get cat harnesses? Like the pet stores? Anyway, I see them

all the time in pet stores. But they wear collars and you can just put a leash on the collar. Just like you can see the dog. I wouldn't trust that. It'd be gone in a second

if you pulled it off. You'd have to have a proper harness, I reckon. I'm talking about a collar. Onto a leash. Oh yeah, onto a leash maybe. Nah, see, that'd get it off. I wouldn't trust that. No, I reckon. I'm talking about a collar. Onto a leash. Oh, yeah. Onto a leash, maybe.

Nah, see, that'd get it off. I wouldn't trust that. No, it goes, it ropes onto metal. You know how a leash works, eh? No, yeah, but he's saying that a cat's going to slip the collar. Or it'll pull it off. Oh, does it not wear a collar? Nah, never wears a collar.

Oh, okay. So I'd have to get a harness for it. Yeah, no, Leo has a harness. But if he goes backwards, he can slip it off front ways. See, that's the thing. I'd take my cat for a walk and it'd be gone. I'd never get it back. Yeah.

I'd be heartbroken. I'd actually be real sad. Yeah. You'd cry. You're a little buddy. He's showing some emotion. That's some emotion. Put it in the calendar.

Why? Imagine if Karen slipped off the leash. John Megan, don't do this to me. Why are your eyes all glazy? You know it's been a hard week. He's been sick. My baby's been sick. He runs up to the corner of the street and you're like,

Kaz, and he turns around. One final look. No respect. You see like a snigger and he's gone. See ya. He's gone up yours. I'm out. I'm out.

So while keeping cats indoors, it is better for, it extends their lifespan because it protects them from disease, cars, predators, and all that kind of stuff. They are descendant from, like, tigers. And they're supposed to be outside. But they've been, like, fully

domesticated. This is real, like, poetic. It will make you feel really bad. They've said today's indoor cat is a tiger robbed of his domination. A Lamborghini left idling in the garage. I don't know if you've seen my cat's domination but it's still quite existent. And it's

not so much a Lamborghini, it's more like a Mazda Bongo. But if you tried to walk a cat wouldn't it just be like, it's not as if it walks beside you like a dog. You'd have to do it from day dot. Yeah, you would. It's too late now.

And they creep along and then they'd want to chase like a bird. Yeah. I don't know how you stand having the cat in the soil. We've moved so I have to keep the cats in because otherwise they'll boost it for the old house. And I don't know how you do it. It's annoying. Everywhere you turn, the cat's there.

It's like having annoying kids, though. You just get used to it, don't you? You know, they're going to say, Dad, I want to do something. And then you can just turn on the TV and let Nickelodeon take care of it. The cat doesn't want to watch Nickelodeon. If it's recycling day at your house today,

maybe you're putting all the recycling... No, it's Monday. Sorry. It was a rhetorical for a start. It was kind of for everybody. You shouldn't start a story with a question.

Friday's quite a big day. Yep. It wasn't a question. Oh, it was a rhetorical. It wasn't, is it recycling day at your house today? No, it's Monday.

If it's recycling day. We've established every second Monday. Yeah. Yeah. It's every second on recycling. Right.

Well, and you're like, separate that. I always rinse. Shardé doesn't rinse. Oh, I don't rinse. Always rinse. Is it even worth rinsing? Is it even worth separating the recycling? Oh my god, okay. Well, you might be onto something because somebody is here from Malaysia.

Lei Peng has come to New Zealand to say that maybe our recycling isn't as great while we're recycling some of it. Also, this year in Malaysia, we have sent some 400,000 tonnes of recycling there. From New Zealand? Yeah. Some of it's just been set on fire. No.

Some of it's just been set on fire and a bit on the beach. Because we sent a lot to China for years and Asia for years. And now they've got enough. They don't need it. And a lot of it's sitting in Thames I believe. A lot of Auckland and Upper North Island's recycling's in Thames. And you look online, there's stories.

I'm all for Thames just becoming where we put things. Why? You are still anti-Thames because those people broke into your car at the tramping track. It's not the whole of Thames that broke into your car. Now, what they need to do is put big walls either side of the road on Thames to keep the rubbish off the road. Because if you're driving through to your Coromandel Beach house, maybe heading up to Port Jackson. You don't need to see that.

You don't need to be burdened with that filth. I mean, I'd put those walls up in Thames now, for example. Right, okay. So you don't have to see anything. And then just start chucking rubbish behind the walls. I'm fine with that. Okay. I'll go on record.

All right, Trump. He loves a wall. He loves a wall. But I think actually more people would agree it's better to keep Thames people in Thames than to keep... You are on your own there. I'm not agreeing with that.

Your car got broken into, so you're anti a whole town. For a start, it should be called Thames. Okay. That's my main issue with Thames. So what are we going to do with recycling? Well, I mean this... So do we not have a plant or anything here that makes an interest on the airport? We've got some, right?

But there's some things that need to be recycled overseas because we don't have the facilities. So then they ship it over there and we think that it's being recycled. But it's being burnt and they know it's New Zealand rubbish because there's a Coke Zero label with the New Zealand address for local bottles and stuff on there. That's actually really upsetting. Especially because I do take my time to wash my bottles.

You put them in the separate bin. You put them in the recycle bin. And like at work, we've got like four bins now. We've got recycling, landfill, organics, and what's the other one? General waste. General waste. And you always got something, you're like, which bin, which bin? Okay.

Or if there's too much in one thing, I'm always just general. Like I don't care that much. But you know, I'll separate it otherwise. Yeah. But then is it even worth it? Well exactly, if it's just going to be burnt in Malaysia. This is only part of our recycling though so I think we should carry on

in the hopes that A, that's going to stop and B, it's going to get better. We've got to believe it's going to get better. Hope, hey, hope. Hope. With everything. Yeah. With just the lot of it.

Other than that, I'll be heading to Mars when that's terraformed. Yeah, okay. To escape the pollution. There'll be no plastics. Right, okay. There'll be no plastics. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan.

The podcast. For more, check out ZDM online. ZDM.