ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 09 2019

Episode Date: December 8, 2019

Fletch gets his Secret Santa present, going over-board with a present and what did you always think was healthy?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ZM. Head music lives here. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Four minutes past six. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Katelyn, your last week starts now. No, she's bringing it. Oh, here she is. She's bringing in the printing. Her last weekend. I'm surprised she is even here. I know. It's been a big weekend. Had a lunch with her yesterday and she wasn't in any state.

And she left that even worse. She's defying science. Here she is. By even existing today. Caitlin, get on the microphone, please. You're welcome. For what? That I'm here.

Your last week. Yep, last week. How was your weekend? Really great. Good weekend. Weekend? You speak like a pig to your insides. You don't want a D on the end of that.

You started with one A. Are you kidding me? I will absolutely take you off the air this week. I will swear I will get us taken off the air. Yes, yes, yes. You bloody watch it. I'm ringing Christine. Megan, here's your sheets.

Oh, jeez. Okay. Caitlin's a fletch. Right, thanks, Caitlin. Hey, I'm going to head off. All right, mate. But that's done, So I'll see you guys Wednesday

Joe you're here Take tomorrow Thank you See you later Thanks Sweeties Alright we're gonna This week

For Caitlin's last week Relive some of Her best moments She has a bonnie wheel And I believe today We're gonna relive Your Valentine's Day Yeah

One of your Valentine's Day moments. Let's, let's, let's. Oh my God. She needs a cup of tea and a lie down. Next Valentine's Day, Fletcher, you'll have to be the Valentine's Day representative on the show as your single. And everybody else spoken for. Yeah, great.

Okay. That would be... I guess we're just going to have to start discussing just get on a whole we're just gonna have to discuss start discussing your love life a whole lot more well yeah

for that confidence oh yeah can we get another single producer so we can just go to them that would be great would it be though

probably not alright you lot listen up it's story time. All right, story time. Three news headlines. Vaughan and Megan must pick one of the following three headlines. Headline one, man makes a great point.

Headline two, flight attendant fired for stealing milk. And headline three, train slams into semi. Those are your headlines. Train slams into semi. Yeah. Semi truck. Yeah. Okay.

That one's explained now. Yep. One. Flight attendant stealing milk. Or what was one? Man makes a great point. I'll have one. Do you want a great point. I'll have one. Do you want one?

Yeah, I'll go one. Okay, we go now to Arizona where a man, David Keller, got a bit sick of all these service animals on planes. Because you know what? It was earlier this year a woman took a miniature pony on a plane. Yes, yes. In America. I think the airlines I read recently, they're trying to crack down on, you know, a set of guidelines because people are getting a bit carried away.

There's a miniature pony on a plane. Yeah. You know, you've got your usual service animals like your guide dogs. Yeah. That makes sense. But to me, you shouldn't really have to take your cat or your dog on a plane. Just take some lorazepam or something. I don't know.

Okay. Or just get over it and you don't need to take a pigeon. A pigeon. People are taking pigs and stupid animals on a plane. Right. It's already hard enough flying without there being a miniature pony

with someone who needs a support animal. Right. Were you all for miniature ponies on planes? I think it would be really cute. No, I love a miniature pony. I was more thinking of guide dogs and stuff. I'm all for that.

I said I'm all for guide dogs. I think they should be the only ones allowed on planes. Right, yeah. But people are just taking the piss when they're taking miniature horses and pigs on a plane. And it's all fun and games

until they do a big poo, isn't it? Can you imagine being in a six-hour flight and there's a horse poo. Yeah, because horse poo is very pungent. Exactly. Well, anyway, this man, David, had enough.

So he decided last month to register his beehive as a service animal and it was accepted. Are you joking? Oh, my God. I'm not joking. So he decided to take a stand. He said, I was thinking that it's just too easy to get these animals to be service animals.

So he successfully registered the picture of a beehive as a service animal. He wanted to bring awareness to the issue that anyone could do this. So, yeah. What does it take to... He's not going to take a beehive off. He hasn't taken his beehive on a plane, but no.

He could. That is ridiculous because you get out of control and then you crash the plane when the pilot's stung. Yeah. Apparently federal law does say a service animal can only be a dog or a miniature horse. So no bees. But again, a miniature horse, that's ridiculous, right?

You don't need to take a miniature horse. Because even a miniature horse is a sizable creature. Yeah. Where does it, does it stand the whole time too? Exactly. It's not really fair on the horse, is it? Anyway, he made a great point. What if a cat would have been a better?

He's a hero. Yeah, but cats like. Cats don't like travelling. They don't like travelling. Yeah, I mean some do. You get the odd rare cat that'll go in a car. Yeah. Sit on someone's motorbike.

Dogs love an adventure, don't they? Famously, they love an adventure. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. There has been research done into the use of streaming services in New Zealand. So these are Kiwi stats. A new survey has found this was commissioned by the Office of Film and Literature Classification. Oh, they're the ones that are like, this is an R16 movie. Yeah.

Right, okay. So they have found 77% of New Zealanders have used a paid online service for watching movie or TV shows. That's not surprising, is it? 77. So that's three quarters of New Zealand. Netflix is the favourite.

72% say they subscribe to Netflix Also like the original right It was the first one Yeah But then it's getting hard now Because you need so many That's the problem I have Is that like

They all have good shows But then you've got to Subscribe to all of them Because you remember we were like Oh well we don't need to pay Sky 100 bucks a month We'll just pay Netflix 15 and now we've got to pay

15 here, 15 there. Yeah. Now we're paying 100 bucks a month. Damn it. So the next popular is, next most popular is Lightbox. Oh, yeah.

They've got good shows. 30%. There's a big difference though. 72% of Kiwis have Netflix and then the next most popular is 30% Lightbox. YouTube Premium is sitting on 13%. That's the third most popular

in New Zealand. Right. I haven't got YouTube Premium but I am barraged by ads to get it. I've read that's what they're aiming to do. They like made no secret of it. They're like we want people to buy YouTube Premium so we're going to roll ads at you. All the time.

So you get frustrated. It's $15.99 a month, YouTube premium. Is it? Unless that's American. No, I'm on, yeah, weird, $15.99. And what is it? What's on there? Just YouTube.

I think you just get no ads. No ads. Maybe there's some premium content. I don't know. Right. Amazon Prime is next, 12%, and then Neon on 10%. Doesn't include Disney+, because obviously that's just launched. That't know. Right. Amazon Prime is next 12% and then Neon on 10%. Doesn't include Disney Plus because obviously that's just launched. That's new.

Yeah. The Mandalorian on Disney Plus is now the world's most popular on-demand TV show. Really? See, I want to watch that, but should I be saving it all up or should I watch it week to week? I'm watching week to week because I'm watching it week to week

because I'm a massive Star Wars fan but when it's finished I will watch it all again in order. Will you? Yeah.

And what do you mean in order? I mean like binge Oh I thought they were doing things out of order I was like I might have that.

That'd be a twist but no they're not I believe it's all in order. Right okay. There's a really good Christmas movie on Disney Plus Noel it's all in the

Christmas movie. No, no. But he's got young kids, so I don't know. So that's not what you want from a Christmas movie. No, no. But he's got young kids, so I don't know. Just tread lightly into that one because it's animated and it's about Christmas. So you're like, well, this will be one for the whole family. Yeah. Does it say about boomers and streaming? Because I still can't get, mum and dad have terrible internet.

Yeah. So I'm like, you need to get Netflix and yeah. So it does say that younger people, 93% of those between 18 and 29 use streaming products. Right. Then as you get to 60 and older, it's 55%.

But your parents are all over it, eh? Because you just want to use their Netflix login. Yeah, but I said to them recently, I was like, oh, you haven't been using Netflix. And they're like, no, something went wrong,

so we're just off it now. We're just off it now. I was like, no, you just, they've got one of those remotes where you press one button. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it goes to Netflix. I'm like, what has gone wrong?

Do you need to press the AV button or something? So, yeah. I'm not going home this Christmas, thank goodness, because that would be on the list of. So it'll be till 2020 when they're back on Netflix. Great. Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. The podcast. ZM. An Auckland woman faced abuse last week. She was at Pointe Chevre Beach.

For those outside of Auckland, that's like... A beach? A beach. It's a beach. At Pointe Chevre. In the city. Pointe Chevalier Beach. I think people outside of Auckland certainly know where that is now.

You're most welcome. It's an inner harbour beach, though. Yeah. It's not like on the coast. It's probably the nicest inner harbour beach. The rest, it gets a bit mudflatty from there. It does. But a woman in her 50s was sunbathing there.

Now, this was in the afternoon, late afternoon. And she was on her stomach lying down, and now she rolled over. She's topless. Okay. And put a hat over her face. Okay. To keep the sun out of her eyes.

And that was when she heard somebody yell, and she thought, well, that must be somebody yelling to their child. Yeah. Or someone, you know, yelling to somebody else on the beach. It was then that she felt sand get kicked on her and flicked on her and then she took her hat off

and women were taking photographs of her. What? And they said, there's kids here, clear off. And she said that's when they started kicking

and throwing sand again. Wow. These two women were quite abusive. One older, one, she said, like late teenager. Right. Early 20 quite abusive. One older, one, she said late teenager, early 20s maybe. And she said she was

getting quite the abuse from them. And then the woman taking her so the kicking of the sand and everything continued. And then the woman who had the phone said, don't you report to the police because I've got your photo. Well she's... So that's instantly

some blackmail. Yeah. She said she felt very scared and when she was leaving the beach, two young men heading down to the beach

without shirts on, as she said, with probably about the same size breasts as hers. She's an acre, small breasts. Right.

And she shouted to the woman, watch out, he's got titties too. I had the woman, but then realised I'm vastly outnumbered here and took off. Yeah, right. Didn't get changed in the changing rooms.

Just went straight home. Pulled a top on and went home. She said, yeah, she rang the police and just said, yeah, she felt really intimidated in the public place. Yeah. The story on the Herald, a reporter went down to the Point Chef Beach and talked to other beach goers and they had not heard of it. Right. And they

said, oh, it's pretty progressive around them parts. And there's a man who regularly sunbathes down there in nothing more than a G-string. And they've never seen him have abuse. That could be more assaulting, confronting than boobies. So it's an exposure

issue and decent exposure because that's about your genitals, not your breasts. Really? Yeah. So the police weren't like, well, you shouldn't have been topless? Nope. Right. Didn't say that.

No, there's no specific. What's wrong with it? Like, why not at least just go up to her and say, hey, look, you know, we're a bit uncomfortable here. And then you can just be like, bugger off. But don't kick sand in some ways. They were worried about their children being exposed to breasts yet they exposed their children to like victimising somebody

and bullying them two on one with, you know, aggression and intimidation. Treating their kids that that's an okay way to talk to someone. Yeah, yeah. It's just boobies. Yeah, it's just boobies. It's just nungs. I grew up seeing everything. I grew up in a nature's family. Yeah. And look Who's just boobies. Yeah, it's just boobies. Just nungs. I grew up seeing everything.

I grew up in a nature's family. Yeah. And look at me. I'm all good. Yeah. Well. Would you topless? I mean, debatable.

But would you topless sunbathe in New Zealand at a beach? No, I wouldn't. Unless it was like in the middle of nowhere, eh? But that's more on me. Like I just, I don't really want to. But like I wouldn't kick sand or even, I wouldn't even blink an eye if anyone was. Because if you go to a beach in Europe in summer,

like, they do it everywhere. Yeah. And no one cares. Yeah. No one's, like, taking photos or kicking sand. I've seen junk in Europe, too, because people just get changed on the beach. And everyone's just like, okay, well, they're just getting changed.

Whereabouts in Europe? Do you have exact, like exact could you drop a pin on some beaches flight details yeah flight details how much does that cost to get there quick question

seeing as you grew up at nudist parks as a kid would do men like put sunscreen on their penis I don't remember ever seeing that

to be honest could you imagine but it was like the 90s where sunscreen was like you should wear sunscreen. I'm pretty sure the 90s

when we had the whole ozone layer was pretty sunscreen heavy. I'm pretty sure it was always like slop, slop, slop and then we added the wrap. I don't remember seeing

the nudists wearing a lot of sunscreen. I think it was like the 70s, 80s when New Zealand was like hey, our refrigerators are killing the ozone and we are killing the ozone.

Yeah. And we are getting scorched. Everybody wears sunscreen. But do you think sunscreen's a bit harsh for the... The pain. Yeah, well, that's what I was wondering. No, I was thinking it would be the application of the sunscreen to the... You'd want to do that in public because you're fondling. It's one thing to not be wearing clothes.

Yeah, right. Oh, yeah. Sorry, no, no, no. I mean, you wouldn't want to do that in public. Yeah. Well, you'd use one of those. Rubbing it in and such. Because I have one.

I think it's the Neutrogena for the face because it's a bit more sensitive and less oily. You'd probably use that downstairs. Yeah. And that's like a 70 or something, right? It needs a lot of... Well, 50, I think, yeah. Well, that...

Every now and then, it might get a glimpse of the sun, but it's not... Ever spend a lot of time in the sun, it would be very sensitive to skin. Gross. Like the butthole sunning that everybody was talking about last week. Perineum sunning, yeah.

Yeah, you've got to be careful there, that sensitive stuff. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. And cell phone linked face injuries are on the rise. And let's be honest, who's done this? Yeah, when you're lying in bed and you're on the gram and sometimes your hands just fail you and it doofs you in the face. Yeah, and they're heavy. And if you've got one of those cases with like, like Caitlin's,

with the bedazzled, chunky bits. Oh yeah, that's going to leave a mark. That'll leave a mark. Yeah. Take out a bit of skin. Well, somebody has a study published Thursday. Somebody has looked over all of the A&E stats in America over the last 20 years. And they have found that emergency room data found an increase in cell phone injuries starting after 2006.

When cell phones were when smartphones were introduced. What kind of injuries is one getting to the face? Because, I mean, it's hit me in the face multiple times. So these injuries are for all cell phones. So they do include injuries to the face, but they also include people getting phones thrown at them, distracted use, including texting and walking and tripping over things,

and landing face down on the sidewalk or falling into a hole while looking at your phone. God. Just look up. Huge, huge increase in that. Because you drop it on your face. If you hit the corner of your cell phone on your lip, onto the tooth,

I reckon that would be enough to break skin on the inside and leave you with a swollen lip. Or get you in your eyebrow. Would that be enough to get you a black eye? Close enough to your eye? If it hit you on the back. Or like on the eye lid? Or the eye socket.

On the eye lid would just do that weird thing where it bounces off your eye and your eye's really sore. But yeah, I don't know if it would leave any permanent bruising. But yeah, that would be good. Go to the doctor and be like, yeah, I dropped them. I dropped my Galaxy Note 10 on my face. Well, yeah, that's a bigger one. That'll get you right in the eye hole.

Well, you're like dropping an iPad on your face. I've dropped the iPad. No. The iPad came out of the case. Oh, you were holding the case. I was lying back and I was watching something on it and I was playing with the case and I just saw the bottom flip out.

I was like, uh-oh. But I was holding it with both my hands and it swung around and like flat on your face. No, no, the bottom edge hit my forehead. Imagine if you had a forehead line on your iPad. Or right across the bridge of the nose.

Yeah. From the ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. Today is Worldwide Candle Lighting Day. This is to remember loved ones who have passed. Oh. That's the idea. You light the candle.

Right. To remember them. Just before Christmas. That's nice. Yeah, I guess that's the idea. Now that I've got my pine Christmas candle. Oh, I got some too. I'll do that today.

Yes. Pine trees reminds me of grandma. The top six places not to light a candle on World Candle Lighting Day. Because that's the thing. Candles, they look nice. They smell delicious, but they are very dangerous. Boy, they're a fire risk. Well, they are, aren't they? They are fire.

Yeah. So the top six places not to light a candle on World Candle Lighting Day are number six, under a curtain. I mean, famously flammable curtains. Yes, yeah. Under the curtain. And just the positioning of them because they go up. Yeah. Flames like to go up. Yeah. We managed to set

a curtain on fire purposely in science with a Bunsen burner. I always thought it was a mistake to have curtains in the science room. Yeah, so did I.

Because they were always like dangling right over the desk where you had the Bunsen burner. They were asking to be set on fire. They weren't asking for it. No, you can't say that.

Oh, they weren't. They were just hanging there. Right. Yeah, they did. They were very flammable because schools don't drop a lot of money on their curtains, do they. Yeah, they did. They were very flammable. Huh. Because schools don't drop a lot of money on their curtains, do they? No, they don't.

It was often nylon and very flammable. Number five on the list of the top six places not to light a candle on World Candle Lighting Day. At the nail salon. Why? Nail polish is flammable. You just walk past that place and it smells like it. You don't pour the nail polish on the candles. A good tip on there. It could be nail polish remover, also flammable. Everything's flammable. Or do you just walk past that place and it smells like it? You don't like pour the nail polish on the candle. A good tip on there.

It could be nail polish remover, also flammable. Everything's flammable. But again, you're not going to pour it on the candle. You might just knock it over, Megan. You'd love a lovely scented candle while you're getting your nails done. And then Barbara, who's come in for a backfill, is on fire. Cute. You know it's called a backfill.

Hey, I know my stuff. I know my nails. I know my nail stuff. Nice. So I'm like, what is a backfill? And then Sade tells me, and I'm like, why does it cost so much for a backfill? Oh, do you backfill? What is a backfill?

When they grow out and you need the back spilled in. When you've got the ones stuck on top. Oh, my God, do that yourself at home. Just touch it up. How are you going to do it yourself? Put a silly putty. Put a putty. Put a putty.

Put a plaster of it. Put a plaster, mate. Yeah, mate. Give it a primer and then a couple of coats of paint and away you go. Away you go. Number four on the list of the top six places not to light a candle on World Candle Lighting Day, a hay barn. Oh, yeah.

Makes sense. My brother lit a fire in a hay barn once. Yeah. Got his ass handed to him. Did the barn survive? Oh, yeah, it survived. It was very smoky. Right.

A few bales were lost, but they were pretty lucky to get it under control. Number three on the list of the top six places to light a candle on World Candle Lighting Day. In a blanket fort. That is a big don't you. That's a big no no. It's hard because you make the blanket fort you know what would make this better is

a lovely scented candle. You could use those candles that you have at some restaurants where they have a little battery and a little flame and it's a flick scented candle. Yeah, but I bet all... You could use those candles that you have at some restaurants where they have a little battery and a little flame and it's a flickering fake candle. I love that they even made it to flicker. Yeah, yeah. Because it's on a wire, right, and it doesn't balance. And then just enough of the warmth coming off the bulb

is enough to make the thing move a little bit. Yeah, they're quite cool. Are they? And you can get bigger ones that warm up a little bit and they release a scent. Oh, okay. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Other cool. Are they? And you can get bigger ones that warm up a little bit and they release a scent. Oh, okay. Oh, really? Yeah.

Other places, don't light a candle in your, just on the lines of the blanket fort. Yep. Your hut made out of the fridge box. Yep. Oh, yeah, no. Or your house made of straw. Yeah. Little pigs.

Only the brick pigs should be lighting candles inside. Number two on the list of the top six places not to light a candle on World Candle Lighting Day in front of that timed fly spray thing. Oh yeah.

That would be like that would be like a flame truck. They'd get the shit out of some flies though. Yeah, they'd go next door. They wouldn't be hassling you. I'm coming

poos over here. And number one on the list of the top six places not to light a candle on World Candle Lighting Day today, if you work at a service station. Oh, yeah, fair call. Oh, yeah, no, that's not. Why don't you just put a vanilla coconut on the forecourt? Just to dull that scent of petroleum and diesel. Denise, I told you not to light candles on the forecourt. You just had dulled that scent of petroleum and diesel. Denise, I told you not to light candles on the forey.

Yeah, and also not on your forey. Words to live by. That is today's top six. Thanks, Anya. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Morning Megan. It's a couple of minutes after seven. Coming up, before 8 o'clock this morning, Fletch didn't make it to the ZM Christmas party at the weekend. God, I tell you what, I missed something, didn't I?

What did I miss? There were tears. Oh, it was emotionally draining. I got an eye on it and I was like, wow. There were goodbyes for Caitlin. There was some bombs. I came in halfway through and it was... You came in whenever it was. A lot of catching up to do. Running hot.

But I'm the secret Santa. Yeah, so we've got your secret Santa in studio. It's got my face on it as wrapping. I know, isn't it? I've done well. Yeah. Yeah. I've really gone to a lot of...

But why is producer James setting up a out of studio or mobile microphone? We'll see. He's just setting to a lot of different places. But why is producer James setting up an out-of-studio or mobile microphone? We'll see. He's just setting up the outside broadcast unit stuff. I don't like when I don't know what's going on. Did you end up getting your secret Santa there present? Yeah. Oh, you did? Yeah, I'm not telling you why.

You got a countdown voucher, didn't you? No, but that would be very personal. I was just trying to think who at the... That's not my... I know who he had. Did they get... But do you know who that is? Who's that is? Yeah. No, but that would be very practical. I was just trying to think who at the... That's not my... I know who he had. Did they get... But do you know who that is? Who's that is?

Yeah, we know who. Who my Secret Santa is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know. See, you guys all just defeat the purpose of Secret Santa. Caitlin, don't open... Don't look at that. No, put it down. Put it down now.

Put it down. Put that... Put it down. Caitlin is holding out a present for her. Because we are every day... Put it down now. Put it down. Put it down. Caitlin is holding out a present for her. Because we are every day. Put it down. Also, Anya, next time you wrap a present, don't use see-through wrapping. Budget cuts.

You can literally see what it is. I know. That's why I had it facing the other way. My God. Look, that's not my problem. That's a budget Emporium's problem. You get to open it. If you want to step up into producer Caitlin's role,

you're going to have to start using better wrapping paper. Caitlin would have got see-through wrapping. She would have got cellophane. She would have effed that up too. Ellie. So soon we're going to I mean we'll miss you Because it is Producer Caitlin's last week

We are going through Some of our favourite moments With Producer Caitlin And every day We're giving you a treat A present Producer Caitlin Don't yawn

Every day Can I ask Can I choose one No you can't You don't get to choose them You don't get to choose them at all No But next on the show

Consumer New Zealand Has released a list of food that... Sucks. Well, it's food that people believe to be healthy, right? Yeah, yeah. But it's not. But it sucks. It's been tricking us all. I blame all of these foods single-handedly for my pop pop.

Fletchforn and Megan, the podcast, ZM. ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, eight minutes past seven. That song ends very abruptly, and it is only two minutes 20. Because of Arizona Zerks East, what's his name? Yeah. Consumer New Zealand have released a list of top 10 bad foods that claim to be healthy and aren't. Ew.

Ooh. So you're all about the B-tracks. Yeah. a list of top 10 bad foods that claim to be healthy and aren't. You're about to be trashed. Yeah. So they've obviously, you know, because people think, oh, well, this is good for me. But sometimes you're like, you read the back of the label and you're like, yep, I know what I'm talking about. Like low in sugar or whatever. And you're like, it's all good.

Or it tells you on the front that it's got like four stars or something. So you're like, it's all good. I think tells you on the front that it's got like four stars or something. So you're like, it's all good. I think the star rating's a bit messed up. It's the vitamins and claims of iron and stuff that always get people. People are like, well, I need iron or I need B12. But you're ignoring the fact that there's a lot of sugar. Sugar. And that kind of stuff.

So they've given their wooden spoons, they're calling them, to the products that have high contents of sugar and salt. So are they literally naming individual products? Yeah, and they're claiming that they were misleading claims on some food packaging. Some of the things that they've dragged up, Freedom Foods XO Crunch, sugary cereal, particularly concerning because it was targeting children,

with the claim of being fun and nutritious way to start your kid's day. How much sugar? Well, I don't mention exactly. 22% sugar. Actually? Yep. Oh, my goodness. That's almost a quarter, right?

I know my percentages. Every four spoons you have, you might as well be having a full spoon of sugar. No. Yeah, that's because it's four grams is a teaspoon of sugar. So when you look at a food product. Just 22%. If you're taking four, yeah, it's just by percentages. Every four spoons, one of them is a spoon of sugar.

Nestle Milo Duo. That's a cereal as well. Yep. Claims energy and calcium, vitamin D for growing bones, and whole grain guaranteed. But this was the second largest sugar ingredient for breakfast cereal. Sugar was the second largest ingredient for the cereal. The cereal was 28% sugar.

Am I right in saying when you look at ingredients on a pack, they're in order of the most? Yes. So if it's like wheat, sugar, and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're like sugar's the most. Yes. So if it's like wheat, sugar and then blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah. You're like sugar's the second highest ingredient. And if they,

on drinks, if they want to flash it up they call water agua. Aqua. You're like, okay, I'm on to you. We know what that means. You're not even Spanish, Fanta.

Yeah. Other items on the list. I love breakfast Coco Magic Crunch. Countdown's instant drinking chocolate. Countdown's instant drinkinginking Chocolate. Countdown's Instant Drinking Chocolate is 62% sugar.

How is that even possible? But that has a four-star rating. That's why the star system's flawed. Oh, that star rating's rubbish. Maggi Two Minute Noodles Chicken Flavour. God, how many of those did you eat after school? I know, but you're reading these out

and I'm like, no one's under the impression that these are good for you, are they? No, but you're reading these out and I'm like, no one's under the impression that these are good for you, are they? No, but you're probably more educated than most people because, you know, you do a lot of research yourself and you look into what you eat, but most people don't. They see 99% fat free, for example, on the Maggi two minute noodles. That's why you put on weight at uni. But they're ignoring the fact that one serving has 935 mg of salt.

That's half of the daily limit. Nearly half. Wow. Wow. So, yeah, Fry's Turkish Delight got another bit of a, oh, because I love Turkish, you know, I love the Turkish Delight. They say on there it's 60% less fat than other major chocolate brands. But then if they go down in fat, they just go up in sugar, right?

Oh, yeah, the bar is 52% sugar. Oh, yeah, right. Because it's delicious. Hawley's Protein 33 Chocolate Fudge Flavour Energy Bar. Oh, that's a protein bar. Are you kidding? It's a protein bar. Well, yeah, but it's also an energy bar.

It has 20 grams of protein in it. Yeah, but also 20 grams of sugar. Those are yummy. So that's five teaspoons of sugar in each it. Yeah, but also 20 grams of sugar. Those are yummy. So that's five teaspoons of sugar in each one. Oh, that's upsetting. Mammoth Supply Iced Original Coffee, 45 grams of protein, but also 44 grams of sugar. That's more than 10 teaspoons in a bottle.

And also Primo Sublime Lime, which has a 4.5 star energy rating, health rating. But yeah, has three teaspoons. I'm under the impression that flavoured milk is. I know. Yeah. But maybe people are. Maybe that's the problem.

Does the star rating just completely ignore sugar? I don't understand. Is it going on? Well, it's got protein in it from. Yeah, I don't understand. Is it going on, well, it's got protein in it from... Yeah, I don't know. It's got calcium. Because I am of the firm belief that sugar is the worst. Yeah.

That's like, if you can cut your sugar intake, you're definitely going to lose weight. Especially like, you know, refined sugar. Yeah. It's hard though because they're real yum. It is yummy. You're right. Could we take some calls this morning on those foods that you ate,

you always ate thinking they were healthy? One of those Hawleys protein bars. That specific flavour. Or the energy bar, that one. That specific flavour. But bars have, I remember growing up as a kid, muesli bars were always considered like a healthy snack. But they were like high in sugar.

Super just sugged up. Mad amounts of sugar in them. I don't know, but yeah. Just have a muesli bars were always considered like a healthy snack. But they were like high in sugar. Super just sugged up. Mad amounts of sugar in them. I don't know, but yeah. Just have a muesli bar. You're like, okay. But yeah, maybe there's something you always thought was good for you until someone was like, actually, hey, it's really not. I don't know, because we do, we get sucked into the packaging, don't we?

Yeah. Or we just, we don't really educate ourselves or we don't know but I don't know is there anyone listening that has been in that situation 0800 dials at M you can text

9696 what did you always eat thinking it was healthy Consumer New Zealand have released their list of 10 bad foods that claim to be healthy in art

like misleading labelling what they say is misleading whereas the products actually have high sugar or salt or both. And we're all just like, well, I don't know. The package is nice.

It says vitamins. I'll eat it. And it's yum. Yeah. I mean, everything in moderation. Somebody messaged in regarding the stars because we're like, how does something have four stars? So apparently you get baseline points from energy, saturated fat, sugar, and salt.

And then you get bonus points for having stuff like protein and fiber. So it's quite like easily manipulated. So you could have a really sugary drink, but you put vitamins and calcium or whatever in it. And you get bonus points. That's a bit flawed, eh? Yeah. And it only compares foods, I believe another text said, it only compares foods in the same category.

Like flavoured milk is all compared against each other. So if it's got four stars, it's only compared to flavoured milk that would be worse. But then all you'd need to do is put some vitamins in there. Yeah. That's so crazy. So we're talking about those things that you always ate because you thought they were healthy.

Somebody said, when I went to a nutritionist and I sat down and talked about my eating and I said, oh yeah, no, breakfast, I like to kickstart my metabolism. I just have a couple of up and goes. And the nutritionist said, the couple of up and goes I was having in the

morning were so much sugar. Like 8-10 teaspoons of sugar. Well that's why you were kickstarting your day. Yeah. Amber, Amber's on the phone. Amber, what did you always think was healthy? Those fruit roll-ups you used to put in your lunchbox. Oh yeah, because I mean the name

fruits in there. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so my mum was pretty casual, obviously. She's a bit old school. And so whenever we went to the supermarket, she's like, oh, buy whatever you want, you know, kind of thing for lunch. Oh, my God. Anything? No, you know, she was cool. Yeah, that's cool, Mum.

Back then, there was no rules, you know. Like, it was kind of like, yeah, you're fine with the peanut butter sandwich and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. But, yeah, no, so fruit roll-ups, I used to think, oh, yeah, no, they're healthy. Like, they were just, no, so fruit roll-ups, I used to think, oh, you know, they're healthy. Like, they were just like straight sugar. Yeah, they were literally a sugary thing rolled up, weren't they? Yeah.

Yeah. And you were made to think, because fruit was in the title, it was healthy. And you can taste the fruit. It must be in there. How many? I'm just looking. Per 100 grams, fruit roll-ups had 85 grams of carbohydrates. They were a lot. God. They were a lot. God, and you always wonder why you were crashing at like 2 o'clock at school.

I'm just a Jones in front of one of their roll-ups. Thanks, Amber. Jess, what did you always think was healthy? Hi there. So I always thought that iced tea was healthy for me, because, you know, like tea is good for you. Oh, tea, sure. But there's so much sugar in iced tea was healthy for me because, you know, like tea is good for you. Oh, yeah, sure. But there's so much sugar in iced tea, isn't there?

Oh, there's so much sugar. I actually went to a naturopath a couple of years ago and they were like, oh, so what do you drink for your diet? And I mentioned iced tea and they're like, oh, that's really good for you. You make it yourself. And I said, no, actually, I buy it by the bottle. And then she just looked at me and said, you know, there's so much sugar in there. Yeah. I haven't drank it since.

She was meaning iced tea with just tea and ice. And that's it. Pretty much. No sweetening. Yeah, but that's yum. I like the sweet stuff. I know. Gotta have me some of that sweet-ass tea.

Thanks, you called Jess. Asked some text messages. Someone said muesli was a real kick in the guts when, again, a lot of people finding this out when they go to like nutritionists or personal trainers. Muesli, like if you make it yourself, sure, because you control what goes in. But yeah, the muesli from the store, a lot of you think you're doing healthy, but you're not. If it tastes really yum, it's probably bad for your way.

Yeah. And it's got lots of sugar. Yeah. Somebody said those one square meals, my workmate and I used to eat them for our afternoon snack when we were trying

to lose weight for summer. Yeah. Then the guy I was seeing at the time saw them in the pantry and said, why do you have those? And I said, oh, they're my healthy snack.

And he said, no, no, those are like bulking food. Yeah, that's like if you don't have time to have a meal, you have one square meal in a bar.

You don't have to use a snack. She's sugary. She's a good one. Somebody else said, they can't say where they worked, but they worked for a company once that was actually just paying for their health styles. Really? So that's a... Oh, dear.

That's a big old flawed system there. But that's why it's flawed and that's why it sucks because we've got this obesity epidemic and people actually put something into that and buy based on that. They put trust in that. Yeah, of course. And it's like flawed. Okay, Chloe Swarbrick.

Free market, mate. It'll sort itself out. It won't. No, probably not. Okay. It is producer Caitlin's last week. No, probably not. Okay. Fleshfauna Megan, the podcast, ZM. It is producer Caitlin's last week. An emotional weekend as well, the ZM Christmas party.

A lot of tears. Yeah. What was it like? All very dramatic. We all got a little bit drunk and then went around the room and said things we like about Caitlin and everyone just cried. Horrific. I heard it was like a funeral.

It was. Didn't someone say that it was like they didn't cry as much? Yeah, like three people said that. Oh, wow. Yeah. What was the nicest thing someone said about you? I can't remember. I don't know if you'd be able to pick one thing.

No, there was so many. Like, it was so overwhelming. Do you regret leaving now? Yeah. Should we have just said this to you when you were like, I'm going to leave? I think I don't want to leave. Right. No, it's too late.

It's too late now. It's going to be hard to leave. Just come back at the start of next year and then you'll be like, oh, absolutely not another year of this. Yeah, if you guys keep going the way that you are this week, Vaughn, I'm looking at you. That's why I'm trying to make it easier for you to leave. No, but this is just... You're such a hero.

Thank you, Megan. It's good to be recognised for your heroic acts. What we're going to do every day this week is relive some of our most favourite Caitlin moments and then after that we're going to give you a present every day. I feel like you're looking at me like excited for this present

but that means that I'm not going to be excited about it. Whenever they say present, it's like, present. Present. I do great presents. Presents. Oh, do you? Well, we'll get to the presents soon. So we've decided today our favourite Caitlin moment.

Is back on Valentine's Day, because, you know, like, we've spent a lot of time trying to find your boyfriend. Yeah, unsuccessful. Yeah, and this was one of those times. Today is Valentine's Day. You know, it's

a weird day because you might play the old oh, no, it's all just commercial stuff and it's more expensive, but then That's what I say. I know. Yeah. Well, we quite often hear of her romantic endeavours

or misadventures on the radio show. Much better word. Producer Caitlin joins us now from the bottom of the Sky Tower in Auckland where we've set her up a table. If you hear someone screaming and they're screaming getting louder, it's not someone running

towards Caitlin, it's the bungee jump people coming off the viewing platform. Producer Caitlin, good morning. Producer Caitlin. Producer Caitlin. Producer Caitlin, good morning. Hi. How are you this morning? Not going to lie, really need to pee.

Oh, not a great start. Okay. No, not a great start. Okay. No, I'm so nervous. I went over to Gloria Jean's and got like two little cupcake muffins just so that I can like cut it up and be like, please, here, have a muffin

just in case they're like, I don't want to talk to you. I'll be like, I'll cox them in with the muffins. But it might look like you're doing a sample thing for Gloria Jean. Yeah.

Oh, no. If you cut them up too small you'll look like the old love in the supermarket that's trying to get you to buy a slice. No, you're forgetting that massive sign that says free Valentine's Day. Yeah, and before, this lovely man came up and I was like, oh, hello. And he's like, oh, cool.

So he's like, can I take a photo of it for my girlfriend? And I was like, get away. So, Caitlin, do we have anyone ready to sit down with you? Okay. Yeah, we do. Okay. Hello. Hello.

I'm Caitlin. I'm Eddie. How's it going? Eddie. Hi. Sit down. Sit here. How are you?

I'm good. How are you today? This is your microphone. You're speaking to that? Yeah. Can you hear us, Caitlin? No. Eddie can't hear you.

Right. Okay. Well, you go and I'll tell you what to say to Eddie. Hi. Okay. Okay. So, do you want some muffin? Yeah, sure. Oh, my God.

What do you do? You're wearing, like, overalls. So, right now, I'm about to change a towel to red for Valentine's Day. Oh, that's hot. Just say, that's hot. I like a man in charge of things. I like a man in charge of things. Say you can light up my Sky Tower any day, baby.

I feel awkward. I know. It's so awkward, eh? You could light up my Sky Tower any day, baby. I feel awkward. I know, it's so awkward, eh? You could light up my sky tower any day. I'm not going to say that. So, Eddie. Trust me. Are you single?

Yes. Is Eddie short for Edward or Eduardo? Is Eddie short for Edward or Eduardo? Edward. My mum calls me Edward. Oh, that's cute. Do you like your mum? Are you really good friends with her? Oh Oh yeah, I'm a mum's boy.

Oh, okay, that's great. I might say I love my mum too. I love my mum too. Do you? Yeah. Do you want to meet my mum? I think they have in common with other people, I guess. Yeah, you could meet my mum maybe if you wanted to. She won't beat me up, will she? She won't beat you up, no.

Are those all protective mums? Yeah, she quite liked you. Since dad went to prison she's been pretty cool. Since Since Dad went to prison, she's been pretty cool. Since my Dad went to prison, she's been quite cool about things. Oh, really? He was unfairly targeted. She's got freedom now, I guess. Yeah, she's got freedom. Well, not really.

The mob's watching her. The mob's watching her. Ask him if he likes Fifty Shades of Grey. Do you like Fifty Shades of Grey? The first one was interesting. Yeah. I haven't seen the second one yet. Oh, that's an invitation.

Do you want to go and see it with me? I've seen it three times. I've seen it three times. You've seen it three times already? With three other guys? No, by myself. You didn't even make it up. Yeah, his story's got people like that.

You're doing... Oh, hot stories, good stories. It's getting really know. Yeah, his story's got people like that. You're doing... Oh, hot stories, good stories. It's getting really hot. Okay, so... Eddie, what would you rate me out of 10 for this date? Eddie, what would you rate me 10 out of this... What would you rate... Are you blushing?

Sorry. I'm blushing. Oh, my God, guys. Okay, what would you rate me out of 10 for this date? Well, so... Seven? Your banter's pretty good, I guess. Thanks.

Is he getting bored or what? I'll take a compliment. Ask him if he wants to go on a date another time. Would you want to go on a date with me another time? Yeah, without the mic in there would be pretty good. Okay. I like it. I like it too.

I like it too. Caitlin. Caitlin, I like it. Caitlin, is Eddie. I like Eddie too. Caitlin. Caitlin, is Eddie good looking? Like just between us? Eddie, yeah. Eddie is quite hot.

No, you didn't say that out loud, Caitlin. It was between us. You were just supposed to say yes and then later on he could be like, what was the question?

And they just asked. And they tried to like whisper it. But now at least he knows. Yeah, sorry Eddie. This is really, because Eddie can't hear anything that you guys are saying.

I know, that's why we asked you a yes-no question. Do we need to carry on? Have you found love already? I don't know. What's it? Tell Eddie to take a number and you might call him later. Do you want my number? Yep.

No, I meant like our number. I meant like an official chip drive. You'd be like, you're number 14, I meant like our number. I meant like an official chip drive. He'd be like, you're number 14 and I might call you up later. But you grab his number. Spoiler alert,

nothing happened out of that. No. Eddie is very happy now and not with Caitlin. Yeah. But his happiness and not being with Caitlin

aren't mutually exclusive. No, yeah, yeah. No, that's not what they could be no probably i'm great now so we've decided every day to get you a present a present open it this is day one's present you just chuck it in one of five open it open it is your present guys you know i don't like waste. Can you please wrap this, tomorrow's present in this? Okay, Greta.

We're getting different paper because they're on see-through. Okay, that is unacceptable. I'm going to HR. I thought it would at least be one of the, it's a nurse's outfit. I thought it would be one of those doctors. This it's a nurse's outfit. I thought it would be one of those doctors, this is a sexy nurse's outfit. Yes it is. No, I'm taking this to HR. I'm the compliment

sweetheart. I am not wearing those heels. Look at those heels. The heels aren't included. This is so unpractical. My nuns are going to fall out. You said you wanted to see how expensive your uniform was for nurse training. Anna, did you organise this?

You're fired. You don't have the power to fire her. I'm not wearing this. You go into the bathroom and just put that on for the rest of the show. I'm absolutely not wearing this. Absolutely. This is... You just said you're not going to HR.

If you don't wear that, it's gone to waste. Why are you so sad, sweetheart? Look at the little hat. It's small. Accept the compliment. in hr if you don't wear that it's gone to waste oh why are you so sad sweet i don't know if they're included or you've got to provide your own fishnets no she's not saving anyone's life situation can you pull it out i just want to see what i can't open it how like how much of a mess are you that you can't open it? I actually can't open this. Okay. No, I actually... Don't use it.

Don't use your teeth. It opens at the other end. It's got buttons. Megan, you... It's not opening. It opens at the other end. Good, and you're going to be a nurse. Fletch Vaughan and Megan podcast.

Thanks to... Who left their email ding on? Was that you? Aren't you? I'm recording. You can turn your dinger on now, aren't you? Scientists have discovered something about your meanest friend. So if you've got friends that are just like mean to you all the time...

Do you mean like actual mean or nice mean? if you've got friends that are just like mean to you all the time. Do you mean like actual mean or nice mean? Like they're your friends? They're ones that say mean things to you. Like honest, brutally honest things. Okay, yeah.

And some people, not me, but some people feel closer to their mean friend and there's a reason why. Science has said that they may be brutally honest and sometimes mean and cause negative feelings

but you should keep them around because they love you the most. Guys! This is true. We love you the most. That's why we love roasting you. Oh my god, you just said you love me. For the record, I didn't. I didn't,

no. Everyone heard that. Did we? Yeah, you definitely said it. You said you love me for the record i didn't i didn't no everyone heard that that's like we can pull that off yeah you definitely said it you said you like you definitely said it yeah my goodness yeah wow i'll take that can i strike that from the record no too late so that's on the record no ladies and gentlemen of the jury uh that will remain evident he loves me um so some close friends can purposely impose negative feelings on their most beloved mates, and that is because they think that they're being honest and good for you in the long run.

Yeah, right. But there is a difference, though. Yeah. If they're being mean and being honest, it's different. If you've got a toxic friend that's... Yeah, I'm imagining, you know, when you roast your friends and are loving, but... Yeah.

But you do anything for them. Yeah, exactly. Or, like, when your friend is like, are these sunglasses cute? And you're like, um, like I did with my best friend at the weekend. I always say, um, and then it's like saying, please don't buy them.

Yeah, no, don't buy them. You look like you're in a Black Eyed Peas music video. Yeah. Ouch. But I love you, because that's why I'm telling you that. That's honest but not mean. There's a difference. All right, quarter to eight.

Next on the show, we are going to be opening Fletch's secret Santa gift and then moving outside to use it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, the podcast. It's 11 minutes away from eight. Fletch is sitting in front of you is a Secret Santa gift from the ZM Christmas Party. You weren't there to open. This is great because the wrapping is my face

with a Santa hat on it. That's incredible effort from my Secret Santa. And great wrapping too. Considering your effort is minimal. It's quite heavy. Uh-huh. And it looks like it would be a wine bottle in a box. It's about the same size as a wine bottle in a box.

Or a nice bottle of spirits. Should I just shake it? Listen to this. Yeah, I would say it would be a bottle of spirits. It feels like a bottle of spirits. Yeah. Like maybe my secret Santa knows that I love gin or wine maybe. Now, I believe we are going live on our FBM Instagram.

Look at that wrapping paper, Aine. You get in there. Yeah. God, we've really got to get you a better phone, don't we? Going live on the five. Okay, here we go. Actually, I kind of want to... You kind of want to...

I want to save the paper, but for the speed of... No one wants that paper. You've got to rip it open. No one wants the paper. Okay, here we go. It is a... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. No one wants the paper. Okay, here we go. It is a... It is a general purpose fire extinguisher,

1kg, and I believe my secret Santa may have heard me when I said I've always wanted to let off a fire extinguisher. A dry powder fire extinguisher. Yes, with an office chair and see if it will move me. So next on the show we're taking the office chair

outside into the courtyard where you will try to propel yourself on an office chair using a fire extinguisher. But what about the mess? Who cares? Well, we'll say sorry afterwards.

It's dust. It'll blow away. Oh my God, this is so great. It says it's rechargeable. What does that mean? You can take it into a place and they'll plug it in and fill it back up with power. That's so cool.

This is so exciting. Oh, my God. My secret center knows me. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Megan, the podcast. Coming to you this morning. Come through. Yeah, come through to work quickly.

Sorry, we're outside. Get on through. So at the moment, we're outside the studio. If you've just joined us, Vaughn, you're out here with myself, Fletch, Megan currently in studio. In studio, hello. You're missing out on the fun. I just moments ago

opened my secret Santa gift which was a fire extinguisher. My secret Santa heard me say just a throwaway comment that I never thought would happen. You've always wanted to

see if you could propel yourself on an office chair using a fire extinguisher. And this dream is about to come true. I just, Ross Boss has just turned up. What does he, why does he turn up when the fun's about to happen? There is a slight mess about to happen in the courtyard.

You know, back in 2001, I got a written warning for letting one of these off at work. Yeah, but you weren't doing it on the air. Full support. Full support, great. Okay, fantastic. Good to have the support of a boss. Now, I have a question. Is this like a grenade when you take the pin out? Because it's got a pin in it.

Do I only have five seconds? No, no, no. Do you know what I think you should do is maybe read the instructions on the side of the thing. You only read instructions if things go wrong, Megan. Now, I reckon you'd probably have to get the fireworks thing, which are pretty low, to propel. Because you'd almost want it to push off the ground. Also, are you going to propel? Which way are you going?

Because there's steps there. He's going towards the stairs. Oh, don't tell him. I was hoping he was going to go down the stairs. Oh, my God. We're live on Instagram and Fletch roly-poly down some stairs. So do you think I should get a roll on the office chair first or do we just go from a cold start?

I think you want to go from a cold start. Okay. You want all your wheels facing in the right direction. Okay. That's what I'm thinking. Give yourself a push. Okay, give yourself a light push. And then I'll go.

Yeah. So, right. I'm just a bit worried about it all going in my face. That'll be the first time you'll be concerned. Just seemed like one of those sitter jokes that you guys play. Well, if I don't say it, everyone's just going to be thinking it. Do you guys want to do all a big three, two, one, and I'll start? Okay, and then you do it.

Just a reminder, if you go to our Instagram, FBMZM, we are live with this. Okay. Ready? Okay, yep. Five, four, three, two, one. He is. Oh, no. Caitlin just got caked.

Okay. It didn't. It doesn't. It doesn't work. It doesn't. Oh, no didn't. It doesn't. It doesn't work. It doesn't. Oh, no. Caitlin. So, it turns out, I think Caitlin's quite, you're quite dusty.

Oh, Han, your glasses are dusty. Oh, Han. That's all because you sprayed her. You were standing in the firing line. You look like the nerdy girl in one of those high school movies that people play a prank on her. But don't worry, at the end of the movie, you're going to be beautiful. So it turns out you can't propel yourself with a fire extinguisher in an office chair. But I think we need a bigger one.

Yeah. Then that's going to be the solution. Everything is covered in white dust now, including Caleb. That is a 1kg one. You all right, Caleb? No, I was already about to vomit this morning. Now I'm going to go to them to do that. I can't see anything. Look at your specks.

Alright, hey, thank you to my secret Santa, the gift of a fire extinguisher. That was amazing. Thank you. Double your data this December on eligible skinny mobile plans. I can hear. I can hear. It's on.

I can hear. It's on. Are you all plugged in, Fletch? I can't hear the headphones! Are they plugged in? Have you plugged in your headphones? We've just been. Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? He hadn't plugged his headphones in! Imagine if someone else had done that. We're literally sitting there in that silence, which is like, pressing every button, starting to get real frustrated. What's going on? James comes in, shows the album,

he's like, can't hear my headphones, can't hear my headphones. Who unplugged my headphones? Imagine for a moment if one of us hadn't done that. We can hear, what's wrong? He's like, can't hear. Are you plugged in? He's like, yeah. Oh. Jesus.

Wow. Okay. God, I've only been doing this like a few years. Don't worry about it. All right, Arnie, do the news. Keep professional. All right. Kia ora, good morning.

Parts of South Canterbury and the West Coast remain underwater as a massive storm continues to make its way up the country. Several highways are closed and power and internet services are cut out to several areas. About 70,000 Auckland commuters will be affected by bus cancellations this morning after drivers and NZ bus failed to resolve their dispute. Many buses are likely to be off Auckland's roads in the upcoming days, possibly until Christmas. New Zealand is being urged to act on reducing plastic consumption. The government's released a plan to tackle

plastic waste, including a ban of polystyrene meat trays, cups and takeaway containers. And in sport, the players have spoken and named Arie Savia and Charmaine McMenamin as the New Zealand International Players of the Year. The winners of the New Zealand Rugby Players Association Awards

have been announced for their body of work with the All Blacks and Black Ferns in 2019. Looking for that perfect gift this Christmas? Give the gift of premium access to nzherald.co.nz from just $49. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Thanks Anya. Welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Megan. Apologies for technical difficulties there. Out of our control. Grandad the show, Fletch, Warner, Megan. Apologies for technical difficulties. They're out of our control. Grandad, the boomer forgot to plug his headphones in.

I can't hear anything. James, I can't hear anything. I've got nothing in my headphones. Because we went outside to the fire extinguisher, someone plugged their headphones in. My unplugged mine must have been James. Blame James. Oh, my God.

The blame game. The blame. He wanted to use His own headphones Yeah okay Flesh forner Megan The podcast ZM ZM

Christmas party The weekend Did the old Secret Santa situation I received $20 In coins The cash equivalent

Which is great That's dream secret Santa stuff It is Yeah for you Cash equivalent It'll be great We've just

Heard me open mine My fire extinguisher, to fulfil a lifelong dream and it's funny because I've always said Secret Santa's are just a giant waste of time but I actually feel really happy now. It's been vindicated. It's bizarre. Someone knows you and it feels

great. That everybody else enjoys has finally been vindicated to you. Yeah. Okay, I'm all for it now. I'm on board. Until next year. When you don't get what you want, you pack a sock. Yeah. What did you get?

I haven't got mine. Because I wasn't at the part of the secret, I wasn't part of the ZM party that early on to get my Secret Santa. But then I don't even know who it is. Right, okay. But you still haven't got it? Yeah.

Well, that's rough. But something that everybody's talking about from the Secret Santa gift. Well, somebody at the Secret Santa got it. Yeah. Oh, that's rough. But something that everybody's talking about from the Secret Santa gift. Well, somebody at the Secret Santa got a Fitbit. Now there was a $20 limit. How much? Oh, Google. More than $20.

Fitbit buy. This sounds like a classic re-gift. $119. That's $100 over the limit. Those are the plain ones, and some of them go up to $169 Was it brand new? Yep Oh this is a re-gift surely

Well how If it's a re-gift That's okay right Cause Well no Because you could sell that It didn't cost them anything So technically

They didn't spend the $20 Oh no The way I was looking at it Is that you The person giving it Could have made $120 On Trade Me or something Right right

Selling on Or $100 at least Or $100 at least. Or $100 at least, yeah. It was so much that I got open and everyone was like, oh, must just be a strap for a Fitbit. But it was an actual Fitbit. That's over the top. Yeah.

Isn't it? The rest of us look pretty pov. Yeah. See, had I not known who these people were and the dynamics, I would have thought that someone was trying to flirt or profess their love or something. Oh yeah. With the present. But you know that's not the case. Yeah.

Because that would happen, right? You're like, this is my moment. The person I've got a crush on. You rig the secret, Sandy. You organise it so you rig it so you get to give the present to the person you like. Yeah. Or it's just a real weird office flex. Like, I'm buying someone a really expensive gift. Oh yeah. Like you actually, and I don't know why

you're going on about this because you always go over the limit. No, I stayed right on the limit this year. This year? Yeah. But what did you do last year?

You went over by like 20 bucks. Yeah. But I like getting something that I know the person would like. I don't like getting junk. You know what I mean? I don't want to go

to the $2 shop and just get something stupid. Are you telling me my fire extinguisher was under $20? You can get a fire extinguisher. You can get a fire extinguisher. You can get a fire extinguisher for $20. That's pretty cute.

Get out of here. Yeah. I don't want one now, but I don't trust myself at parties. But if it's in your own house, you wouldn't see it off. Yeah, no, but you'd take it into the street, obviously. Oh, you'd take it out into the street, right. Yeah, but $20, that's good party entertainment. Yeah, that's true.

You're not wrong. That's one less pizza when you do the pizza order at your party. Like that time you made it snow with the phyllo pastry. Yeah, you can't be trusted at parties. That was at somebody else's house though. Yeah, I'd never do that at my house. God, are you kidding? Or the vacuuming?

A lot of times. Unless it's someone else's house or I'm eating a pie in the passenger seat in someone else's car. I don't care about the flakiness. It can go everywhere. Flaky pastry. But we wanted to know this morning. You can call us 0800-DOLLS-ZM or text 9696. When did someone go overboard at Secret Santa?

Yeah, and especially in the workplace, if someone was trying to flirt, I want to know if that's happened. That's the moment they choose to profess their love. Yeah. Or maybe there was just a really competitive office environment where, you know, someone was really trying to outdo someone else.

Yeah. As a kind of a power move? Yes. Or what if you had the boss for Secret Santa and then you were like, I've got to go overboard? The boss would feel pressure, right? No, they should. Everybody has got to adhere to the price limit.

Yeah, but they never do, do they? Alright, well, let's see if it's happened. Oh, $800 at M. Well, somebody at their work, Secret Santa, at the weekend got a Fitbit. And, I mean, we're strongly suspecting this was a re-gift. You don't know that. But spending $120

at least on someone in the workplace, I'm not saying they don't deserve it, I'm just saying it's a weird flex. Yeah. If it's not a re-gift. Somebody's, uh, some text messages in on this when people have gone overboard for Secret Santa. Someone said, our family do Secret Santa and the price limit's $20. Yeah.

My auntie had a flip phone. My mum drew my auntie out for Secret Santa and bought her an iPhone. And everyone was like, we can't, this is not how this works. It's not, no. This is not how it works. So then auntie's like, yeah. Because if I was the son, I'd be like, mum, where's my iPhone? Don't you love me?

Yeah. Yeah. Somebody else said, along Secret Santa, my mum misinterpreted naughty Secret Santa. That's that one where you steal each other's presents. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bad Secret Santa. And you say, well, I'm going to open mine or I can just take one that was already open. Yeah.

And she thought Naughty Cigarette Santa meant you had to buy like a dirty present. She bought a really dirty present and we were having Christmas Eve, the Christmas, with my in-laws. So my mother bought to my in-laws a really filthy present. Do we have word on what that present is?

Filthy, it says. So you're not entirely sure of how filthy it is, but it's filthy. Use your imagination. Christy, when did you go overboard

for Secret Santa? I know, it wasn't me, it was at a staff party. Oh, okay. The lady got this amazing necklace, it was like $2,000

and we sort of were like, hang on, we've been played. She'd called her own name. So she's like, treat myself. Yeah. And you didn't know that at the time? No. And her

husband didn't either. It was like partners were there and he was like, what the? Wow. She just basically needed an excuse to go out and buy some amazing jewellery. Yeah. Wow. Weird. basically needed an excuse to go out and buy some amazing jewellery. Yeah. Wow. Weird.

You'd get in trouble either way. Thanks, Christy. Somebody said, I was working at a company, $20 limit, and somebody bought the boss a very inappropriate adult fun toy. The boss was not impressed. Threw it across the room and left. But somebody, as he was leaving, said, that was definitely over $20.

Yeah, that's the thing. They're funny, but they're also really expensive. Yeah? How expensive? I mean, I don't know. That particular thing. You just literally made the comment that they're really expensive. So one would assume you know.

Well, I mean, I've been in there to buy other people presents. And I'm like, who knows? Who was the last person we went to and we bought them one? Was that Intern Anya? Yes. Yeah. Do you still have that? The best is you always hope they open it in front of Nana.

Yeah. I still have that because I don't really know what to do with it. Lies. You know what to do with it. Lies. You know what to do with it. It's pretty straightforward. You've just got to work up the courage to try and talk your boyfriend into it. It's very big.

Because if you chuck it in the recycling bin, it would be the week they put the sticker in your recycling bin saying things in this recycling bin are not recyclable. Oh, they look, they saw it. They don't want that in the bin. We told you, use it as a draft door stopper. It's huge. Also, hard to push the door.

Draft door stoppers are always light. Yeah, yeah. You trip over that thing, you'd break your toe. Some other text messages in. My workmate gave me her house key and her address. Oh. She was married. Oh.

Oh. Now, is that worth more than... Are you opening that in front of everyone? Yeah. Is that worth more than $20? Getting a house key done. No. How much is a key card?

Okay, that's under the limit. I mean, the divorce would probably be more than $20, though. Fair call. Yeah, well, those could be famously quite expensive, aren't they? Somebody messaged in saying somebody at their work buys the receptionist a Secret Santa gift every year, even though they've never drawn the receptionist out. They just...

Oh. They get cute or creepy? They get two Secret Santas every year. Very creepy. Yeah, right. A little bit creepy. Somebody else said that their workmate got a laptop in Secret Santa and the person had won it and they were like,

oh, I didn't have the money to buy them the $20 limit, so I'm just giving them the same amount. That's not good economics. Do the math. Sell the laptop. Get the cash. Keep the money. Give them a little bit of that cash.

People sometimes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Well today's fact of the day Finally enough we should talk about Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker This is from a book called The Science of Star Wars Oh okay

This is about light speed. You'll be familiar with Star Wars when they punch it, Chewie, and the light speed and the stars go... Yeah. Well, that is travelling at 186,000 miles per second, light speed. Per second. When they punch it. So that's an insane amount of acceleration.

And the science involved looked at how long it would take to get to light speed because you know how humans can't stand any more than like 9G? Like 9G will kill some people because it effectively makes you nine times your own body weight. Oh, I don't need that. And because how much the fighter pilots, because sometimes you'll feel if a plane banks or turns.

You'll feel the Gs. You'll feel the G force, your legs get heavy. That's just little amounts. Small amounts. Two Gs. Yeah. But yeah, so nine Gs is what fighter pilots train to. F-16 can produce more Gs

than the human body can survive. Right. So, you know, you see a person sitting in something, you just get spun around and then they go, like that, they pass out due to the G.

At the carny. The G forces. At the carny, right? No, no, no. What's that one called? The Gravitron. No, the... Oh, the one that spins around

and you're stuck to the wall? Yeah. Yeah, that is the Gravitron, right? Yeah. That's a carnival classic. Like in that Ryan Reynolds space movie and they all vom and stuff. What one?

Haven't seen it. That real boring one. One of the awards. That real boring movie that won awards. But it had, no, not Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling. That's why I went. Oh, yeah.

First man or whatever it is. Yeah. Was that boring? Put Ryan Gosling in it and you're like, yeah, and then. Yeah, right. Nothing was about space and moonwalking and that. First people on the moon, right? So if you were to punch the Millennium Falcon,

we'll use for an example, it's probably the most famous Star Wars ship, to light speed, it would actually take you months to get to light speed. Oh, but. But surviving the acceleration, the Gs, because if they just punch it and you went to light speed like that, you'd be flattened. What kind of Gs do you get at light speed?

Well, it's the acceleration getting up to light speed. So you could travel at light speed once you're at light speed. I mean, it's a theory that you could ever be able to go that fast, but it's the acceleration that causes the G's. Right. So the instantaneous acceleration would just absolutely flake you out. Right. So, but that's not practical when there are baddies shooting at you.

You've got to punch light speed to get away from them. Yes. Yeah, but they could... You can't spend two months out manoeuvring them just to get to light speed. Technically, they would also be going at light speed. Yeah, but they're right up your arse shooting lasers. Oh, yeah, but you've got to... It's not practical. To take three and a half months to get to light speed.

Well, that's the thing when they punch it. If you were accelerating at 3Gs and you were only getting to half the speed of light, it would take you two and a half months. So at 3G, you'd weigh three times as much as yourself. Oh, God, that's not good if you're having a fat day. Especially after the weekend. Well, the good news is you'd weigh three times as much as yourself. Oh, God, that's not good if you're having a fat day. Especially after the weekend. Well, the good news is you'd be stuck somewhere.

You probably wouldn't be able to get up, walk, and get somebody to eat and come back. Well, I'd need all my snacks ready before we punch into lightspeed. You'd need two and a half, three months worth of snacks. I would just be in a seat, in a spaceship, covered with snacks. Yeah. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is if you were to safely accelerate to light speed,

it would take you months. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do. Get started. Get started. Get started. Don't get fleshed outed. Ha! Don't get fleshed outed in here. Don't get fleshed outed. Ha!

Don't get fleshed outed in here. Yeah! Megan, just before we get to don't get fleshed outed. Yeah. What is your thoughts on checkout queues? Is there anything that annoys you in a checkout queue? Well, if people cut in, I guess it's not, you know, but you'd never let them cut into a queue.

No, it wouldn't be. Everyone waits in line in an orderly fashion and you wait your turn. Yeah, no, okay, that's fair enough. Yeah. Fletch, you know I've got an issue with this because I told you I have it at the weekend. Oh, I'd forgotten about that.

Do tell. Well, I was at Mitre 10 Magar. You just want to tell everyone you're at Mitre 10. What's wrong with it? What Mitre 10? Was this when you were in Plymouth?

This is when I was in New Plymouth. In New Plymouth. Yeah, I know. What were you doing that might have turned in New Plymouth? Well, I needed a vacuum sealer bag, a vacuum pack bag, because I'm going to put my duvet away for summer. So I'm going to vacuum pack it, because God, I get so excited over those vacuum pack bags,

and then I slide it under the bed, and you don't see it. Didn't you have a vacuum pack for your other duvet? No, but I've got a heavy winter duvet and then I've got a mid duvet. But now I'm on to the, do you remember the, we talked about those. The coverlet. The coverlet. So now I'm on to the coverlet duvet. I started the coverlet last night too.

I know, yeah, because it's too humid for any duvet. So you've got three duvets? Yeah, I do. Whoa. I know, so's about it. When I hear about the one percenters next time, I know who they're talking about. Says old farm lead over there. It's a briscoe's duvet, mate.

It's all right. It's not breaking the bank. Bougie. And it was on a sale. Anyway, so I'm in Mitre 10. I walk around, grab what I need, and then I'm eyeing up the three checkouts that are open. And it's Christmas. It's busy.

So you already had a problem with there only being three checkouts. Oh, absolutely. They had like honestly 10 checkouts and none of them. I'm like, come on, it's Christmas. Get more staff on. Anyway, beside the point. I pick a checkout that I think is perfect. The people in the checkout queue don't have a lot of stuff.

They're not boomers, so they're not going to have any trouble with FPOS and contactless cards and probably not questions and small talk i'm like this is the line for me it's going to be the fastest moving line here how good is picking the right line it's it's very rarely happens but when you know it feels good satisfying feels good and then i'm standing behind this woman who i didn't notice at the time doesn't have anything and i didn't notice that at the time because... Standing there trolley list and basket list. Yeah, so I'm like, maybe I just didn't see...

Maybe she would have had something in her hand. I didn't see any massive amount of stuff. So I was like, good. Then her boyfriend or husband swans in with a trolley load of stuff piled high. She was saving his place in the line. That's not allowed.

Because I looked at the three checkouts and made a decision based on the fact of the people that were in the line and what they had. Yeah. Now, would you say this is a different situation to when you're in the queue and you're like, I've just forgotten something, and you nip back to get it? That's okay.

Because your trolley would be left there. Yeah, and that's okay if you're going to be back before they start processing you. Otherwise, you've lost your place on the line to the next person. Oh, yeah, no, I understand that. That's fair enough. But then that's why you start putting stuff on the checkout before you do the next round. If you can get back, if you're quick and you get back, I've got no problem with that.

Yeah. It's when you're holding up people. But what are your thoughts on that? Because she should have waited until he was done and then come and waited in line. You can go to another line. No, because I was too late. I was in and then more people came and I was like... You were dedicated to it.

What were you like racing to get to? I wasn't racing to get to any though. I literally had nothing to do. It's the point. It's the principle of the matter. It's like people that stand in car parks. You didn't want your precious time wasted so that you could go and do nothing.

Exactly. It's like people that stand in car parks. You don't have your car there. You that you can go and do nothing. Exactly. It's like people that stand in car parks. You don't have your car there. You can't save that park. I'm sorry. You've got to. But do you not agree with me with this? I don't think I would.

I think I would be fine with someone coming in. Even if it was loads of stuff and it's now made you wait an extra four minutes. Ten minutes. I'd probably go, whoa. You know, but she gave me a look. She knew what she was doing. She gave me this look like. But you didn't say anything.

Well, no, I'm not going to say anything, am I? Because you chose to go behind her. It's not like she said, can I just push in front of her? I've got a couple of things. I'm going to just nip in front. Oh, I hate people that do that too. Yeah.

So why do you think your time's more important than mine? I've got nothing to do after this. It's the principle of the matter. And you've got streaming children who just need to get back to a car. You chose to have those, I'm just saying. You did this to yourself. You did this to yourself. Well, technically, she's part of a pair and she was standing in line.

So, no, no, no. Yeah, but it's deceptive. You could have gone to another queue. Stop riling me up. No, because the other queues are full of, like, hands of people. People do agree with you on the text machine. Thank you. Thank you.

I don't agree with standing in a car park. That's not on. But you would quite happily stand in a line for Mr. Toyboy who would swan in. I've never done it, but, oh, no, I don't know if I'd do it, but I don't think I'd get riled up if someone did it to me. Because, you know, I'm like, an extra four minutes is probably not an issue. think I'd get riled up if someone did it to me. Let's just see when that happens, how you feel about that.

An extra four minutes is probably not an issue.