ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Megan Podcast - December 10 2018

Episode Date: December 9, 2018

The Semi Finals of our Festive Film Fight, Don't Get Fletch Started and does your partner let you check their phone?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Megan podcast brought to you by Spark. Get the new Nokia 7.1 from $499 on a Spark prepaid rollover value pack. And now, on with the podcast. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Pleat your morning, Megan. Go on, talk about the comet. This Christmas comet sounds great. I don't think Megan and I have ever seen you so happy at a news story. Just give me a little clap.

A week today, right? Early in the morning. Just take a moment. The size of a full moon. That's terrifying. That's not right, is it? That can't be right. It is. What, in the sky? Yeah. That's terrifying. That's not right, is it? That can't be right. It is. What, in the sky? Yeah.

That's like Armageddon stuff. Like ancient civilisation would have shit if I had a pant with a moving light the size of a full moon in the sky. I'm so glad we've got the heads up because had I not heard that, I would have been like, we are about to die. It can't be the size of the moon. That's wrong. It's got to be wrong.

Is it just like real super close? It's either that or it's got to be bigger than our moon. Yeah. And like, is it orange? Like, is it on fire? Is it burning? Must be, right? I mean, my dream would be green and red, your Christmas colours.

But I don't know if it's happening. It's not one of those smart colour bulbs. Christmas Comet. And how early in the morning? This is a cover story for Santa. He's testing a new sleigh. Is he? Pre-Christmas. That's what I reckon. Is it real early in the morning?

Because, like... Christmas Comet. 4-6-P we're returning. Get a catch, you know. Yeah, man. I don't want to panic anybody, but it's pretty close. Is it? It's, yeah, well, it's

scooting between us and Mars. Are they sure about the trajectory? Well, can we ever be so sure? Alright. I like to think NASA would, you know, have their eye on it, be able to work it out. Because I read the other day the maths involved in getting that rover, the latest discovery rovery thing, to Mars.

It's amazing. NCA level what? 1,000. Right, yeah. All of the levels. Okay. Okay, so apparently it's going to zoom past us at 11.5 million kilometres or 30 times the distance of the levels. Okay. Okay, so apparently it's going to zoom past us at 11.5 million kilometres or 30 times the distance of the moon,

and it won't be this close again for 20 years. Okay. So it's going to look exciting. Yes. At its brightest, it will be the equivalent of our two dimmest stars that we can see in the Southern Cross. The size of a full moon! They're talking about the brightness

Not the size No, it says at its brightest It will be about the equivalent of two dimmest stars That we can see in the sun across Yeah, that's the brightness, not the size Yeah They're talking about the brightness But it's not going to be the size of the moon

That doesn't say that, does it? It says the brightness Might be the size of the moon How do you judge by the size of the moon? Is by its brightness. Apologise to Anya, please. I think you need to check your facts. I'm moating.

I'm moating. Alright, we've got story time next. And coming up, the craziest Southern Cross claims of 2018. The good news is you should be able to see the comet through binoculars. Or a standard DSLR camera if you're far enough away

from bright city lights. I'm 100% not getting up. So you can't tell me it's going to look the size of the moon. I'm not getting up. I'm 100% not getting up. You can spot the comet

from anywhere in Australia in the northeastern sky from about an hour after sunset until early each morning. We are awaiting our apology. I shall await a news correction in the 7 o'clock bulletin. But it would depend on where you're standing, wouldn't it?

Sure, if you're standing on it, it probably looks pretty big. All right, you lot, listen up. It's story time. I've got three news headlines for three news stories. Vaughan and Megan, pick one of the following three. Okay. Headline one, pageant ends in shambles. Pageant ends in shambles.

Headline two, bacon and eggs and a side of small sausage. That was quite like, mmm. And headline three, best job ever advertised. Okay, is the best job ever, because that's advertised a little bit

and it's working on an island or something, eh? No. Oh, okay. Incorrect. Is it tasting something? No. Okay.

I know, I think, to jump to another story, I believe the bacon eggs in a side of small sausage, is this that the, whatever chemical it is in the non-stick Teflon pans are affecting male penis sizes? Correct, Vaughn, yes. I heard about this. Really? But then, like, if...

Horrible news, because I've got a lovely non-stick fry pan. Oh, really? I'm a cast iron guy lately. Is it Teflon? I think it is, yeah. Oh, but it's, you know, not to use, like, non-sticky stuff. You use, like, an actual, like, what is it, cast iron? No! Why?

Because it washes in, like, two seconds. Rinse it, dry it, done. No, but it's alright if you're not letting them get old, right? I don't know. Because then the stuff's coming off. Or is it just if it's new, it'll come off on your sausage too? I haven't read that full article. But then is it, if you've already got a penis,

is it going to affect it or is it sort of like generations to come? Oh, I don't know. No, I think if you've already got one. It could make an existing pain smaller. So maybe I do need to go to the blur. I think you need to read the rest of that story. Yeah, I should. Before panicking the general public.

And to find out for your own sake. Perfluoroalkaline compounds, also known as PFCs. In Italy, they did a study and they found that men who had been exposed to them had significantly smaller penises than those who hadn't, as well as a lower semen quality. Oh, okay. PFCs affect your peonies.

Yeah. Oh, dear. All right, well, we've done that story. So do you want story one, pageant ends in shambles, or best job ever? Pageant ends in shambles? I feel like we should know the best job ever. Pageant ends in shambles isn't the ex-Miss USA story, is it?

No. Okay. Because Miss Kentucky's in trouble because she's been sexting a teenage student. No, it's not that story. Dragging the otherwise, you know, fine and fantastic tradition of Miss USA contest. Oh, I know. I googled the best job ever.

What is it? So is it the one a family's hiring a photographer to take an all expenses paid trip around the world with them? Yes, but you're cheating the system. This isn't how story time works. Oh, and you get an 80,000 pound salary. That's pretty good. Yeah.

Okay, story number one. But are the people ugly? Like, is it going to be hard to take a good photo of them and then they're going to blame you? Oh, yeah, no, I don't know. I can't, there's no picture

of them. And how annoying would it be being an actual professional photographer and every time you take a photo they'll be like, give us a look, can I have a look, can I have a look, give us a look, can we take a photo, they'll be like, give us a look, give us a look, give us a look.

Give us a look, give us a look. Again. Yeah. Give us a look. Okay, well, we go to story number one to Brazil. Come to Brazil. Come to Brazil. Come to Brazil.

We love you, Brazil. Over the weekend, the Miss Bum Bum competition took place. The pageant, which celebrates curvy backsides. Well, they call it the Brazilian butt lift, don't they? They do, yeah. Well, anyway, the winner of this year's pageant was, I'm just looking at the names here, Ellen Santana.

Okay. She won Miss Bum Bum this year. Okay. But runner up Aline Uwe was not taking this and she stormed up to the winner and ripped off her sash, accusing her of having butt implants. Illegal butt implants. Oh, are they illegal? Yeah, Miss Bum Bum, it's got to be totally.

Are they like soaping? Well, it is. It's like the Lance, it's like Lance Armstrong during a cycling race, isn't it? There you go. And so she... Obviously, this is all online. You can watch the video. It's just a big cat fight on stage.

And yeah, she's actually been given a fine of $30,000 for bringing the Miss Bum Bum pageant into disrepute. Oh, no. She's got five days to return the sash and pay her fine. Was it an implant or those injections? Because, like,

just like you get tested for drugs, they should do, like, a body scan to make sure you don't have a bum-bum implant before the contest. Right.

Yeah, I'm unsure. They do a, they did a tug of war. With the sash. She had a 41-inch war. With the sash. She had a 41-inch butt. Around the butt? Yeah. That's a lot.

It sounds pretty crazy. So men's jeans are in inches around the waist, right? Oh, like 42. Yeah. Apparently earlier in the competition, all 27 models who come from each of Brazil's states had to prove their bums were real by providing x-rays. Oh, there you go.

They do do it. Yes. But like Kim K's done that. They do the fat replacement injections. They take fat from somewhere else and inject it in your bum. That wouldn't show up in an x-ray, would it? No, it wouldn't. But is that allowed?

I don't know. I just can't believe there's actually a pageant called Miss Bum Bum. Miss Bum Bum. I don't think we've talked about Miss Bum Bum before on the show. Yeah, well. Years ago, but it is always around Christmas. They get quite passionate, don't they? Yeah.

The contestants. Yeah. Yeah. Southern Cross has released 2018's unusual travel insurance claims. So obviously they see a lot of things over the year. Yeah. And they've released probably the strangest ones that they've encountered. So they have said that one customer, they were in Asia,

and they claimed for a rabies shot after they woke to find a bat in the hotel room. And they spent 10 minutes trying to shoo it away. Because you have to go into quite a lot of detail on these claims, eh? Yeah. 10 minutes trying to shoo it away with Because you have to go into quite a lot of detail on these claims, eh? Yeah. 10 minutes trying to shoo it away with a pillow, and then they found marks on their skin, so they had to sort treatment for a rabies. But if they hadn't had the initial rabies...

Yeah, you're done, right? You're done. Do you have to have, like, a rabies beforehand? So you get a rabies, because when we went to Cambodia, remember when we all got on those injections, one of those was a rabies... Yeah, rabies wouldn't hurt. I know, running like a rabies beforehand? So you get a rabies And then you have a booster Because when we went to Cambodia Remember when we all got on those injections One of those was a rabies Yeah rabies wouldn't hurt I know

A rabies booster Rabies something And they said all this is going to do is buy you time Yeah so you could If you don't get to a hospital You're gone And if you don't have a rabies shot You're gone

Yeah rabies is like real bad Even if you get the vaccination Yeah It just buys you time Like you said But they have to like Cut around It's quite gross

What they have to do Lose limbs and stuff From rabies Right Okay, well that was just $379 Don't pat manky cats In Southeast Asia

Or dogs Or monkeys Or bats Or any mammal So how much was that one? $379 For a I guess booster

That's not too bad. I claimed more than that. There was no bat involved. Strip throat in the States. Well, these aren't the most expensive claims. They're just the weirdest ones. Yeah, there was nothing too weird about it. Woke up, very sore throat.

Another one had their glasses stolen by a monkey at a temple in Asia. And they were trying to get it off the monkey, but the monkey was very aggressive and ended up eating the glasses. Could you try and barter with a monkey with a tiny banana? Oh, yeah. You could. And then you have to be like, I'm not interested actually, mate. I'm not interested.

And walk away and he's like, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Have you seen that video doing the rounds of that woman? She sees a fox in suburban London. And she gets close to it and it's not freaking out. She's like, oh, my God. So she puts her stuff down and, like, gets her phone out. And it's like, here, puts her hand out.

And the fox comes up and looks like he's coming in for a pat. And then just grabs her wallet and scoots. Gone. Never gets it back. Wow. She chases the fox. But, well, fox, they're sly. They are, yeah.

Well known for their slyness. Someone was bitten by a rattlesnake in the US and then they had to have antivenom, obviously, in a long hospital stay. That was $272,000. Wow. Someone hit a deer in Europe and it damaged the rental car. This one's interesting.

So customer required an electric wheelchair in the Pacific. Yeah. Where's that? Raurau. Anywhere. It could be Fiji. Tonga, Samoa, Raurau, Tonga. In the Pacific after injuring themselves, they subsequently fell into the pool of their resort along with the wheelchair

which was damaged beyond repair. How you damage your wheelchair? Surely a wheelchair can... Sounds like a grandma was on a couple of cocktails and then hit the lever. Yeah. You think it was an electric wheelchair? Oh, it just says a wheelchair.

Oh, right, okay. Oh, no, it is an electric wheelchair. Yeah, right. Oh, okay, good. Because I was just imagining a standard wheelchair wouldn't get ruined, get damp. You'd have a wet bot. And then the last one is they were driving a rarotonga

and a baby threw their mobile phone out the window. That sounds like something someone with an iPhone 5 says. Oh, and look, we need a 10. Throw it out the window. Just saying. Maybe just give us the cash equivalent. We'll top it up. we need a 10. Throw it out the window. Just saying. Maybe just give us the cash equivalent. We'll top it up. Get ourselves a 10.

It always blows my mind when people go overseas without travel insurance. I know, right? Yeah, well. And then they're like, oh, we need to do like a fundraiser. Especially to America. Oh, you never go there without travel insurance. No. At least like Southeast Asia, you can just leave without paying.

You know, but America, no way. there without travel insurance anyway like southeast asia you can just leave without paying you know but america no way no well if they catch you you end up in a bali prison with like drug dealers and stuff oh yeah true okay yeah right have it there as well have it everywhere fbm uh millennial men you know for a long time millennials well since that word kind of got that that phrase was coined it's easy to have a go at millennials and especially baby boomers who are like. But then millennials love bashing baby boomers and vice versa. It's a back and forth. Yeah.

It's a lot of back and forth. So a study's been done in Canada where nearly a thousand men aged between 18 and 29 were questioned about what it is to be a man. And it was compared to other generations' answers on the same topic. While it said that the interviewers squirmed at the question as much as any previous generation. Yeah, but what it is to be a man is like an odd question. Well, so they started very open. They literally just say that and that's what makes everybody squirm.

But then when they actually make it more pointed and directed, then they open up. Is there anything worse than someone's like, tell me about yourself? Oh, horrible. And you're like, no. Or like, where do you want to be in the future? What's your plans? Well, I want to be alive.

That's all I've got so far. Yeah, next week. If I wake up tomorrow and I'm alive, I'll probably look forward to being alive the next day and then we'll see what next week brings. But again, I'm pretty much focusing on just staying alive. Yeah. So traditionally, from previous generations,

the masculine traits, I say, I'm doing the speech marks things. Yeah. In case you couldn't hear it in my voice. The masculine traits that were deemed most important by previous generations, physical strength, independence, and competitiveness. Well, it's changed. These men were asked, and they said being open, empathetic,

healthy, and generous were the highest-ranking traits that they felt were important to them to see in themselves and their peers. Are they just saying what they think they want to hear? That's what I reckon. This is the other thing about millennial men. They're cottoned on to what people want to hear. Yeah. They're cottoned on.

I mean, I want to believe that that's true. I'm just saying. If someone's asking you, you're saying what they want to hear. But if that's true, that would make them, because, you know, they're often said that they're selfish. That would make them the most selfless and caring generation of men. But what about all the duck boys? Am I right, Katie?

Well, this is what they said. A man should dot, dot, dot. Right. Help other people, 91%. Yep. Be open, 88%. Be intellectual, 87%. Be fit and healthy, 86%. Be emotionally strong, 83%. Give back to the community, 88%. Be intellectual, 87%. Be fit and healthy, 86%.

Be emotionally strong, 83%. Give back to the community, 80%, which is interesting because helping other people and giving back to the community kind of the same. Be autonomous, 78%. I don't know what that means. Autonomous, be by yourself. Be a robot.

Yeah. Have a robot arm. Yeah. I think that's a little bit high on the high side, to be totally honest. But it is. I think millennial men have also aged in a time where it's far more acceptable to talk to your mates about your feelings. Like I could never imagine my dad having a chat group with his mates

and every month we've got this chat group and every month we're like, how is everybody? Yeah. On an emotional and physical, like, is everybody good? And we have a bit of a chat about anything that's bothering anybody and it's all G. And all the old mates are like, yeah, it's all bloody good. Yeah, no issues.

Of course it's all right. Trev, you're bleeding out the eyes. Yes, just a bloody scratch. It'll be all right. It seems to be coming from somewhere internal. Nah, nah. Don't worry about it. I'll go to the doctor if it's still there that night.

Yes. You'll be dead by then. Yeah, well, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Guys, I went Torby picking at the weekend. Strawberry picking. This is like Christmas tradition. You've got to go Torby picking. Yeah.

I didn't even know this place existed in New Plymouth. Okay. Because I know there's places all around the country. Yeah. That you can, because Nelson, that was as a kid growing up, every, you know, just before Christmas, a few weeks before you'd go pick raspberries. Am I right, though, in saying most people don't start

the pick your own tour after Christmas because everybody buys an excessive amount of strawberries for Christmas. So they want to guarantee that market. But if you go too crazy on the pick your own maybe so we went to this place

and they had a section that you could pick from the other section yeah yeah yeah had a bag red strawberry we weren't allowed in that section it's close to the shop so they can keep an eye on you

yep they're just like you can see it though how much are you I can see lots over there can I just pop over there well that's because I guess they're waiting

for them to grow a bit more the strawberries are always redder on the other side of the fence. I was amazed at the amount of people that messaged me on Instagram when I put a story up that were amazed that you could even go and do this. They just thought they were just at the supermarket. What? Well, they just magically appeared.

It's a Kiwi institution. You can pick your own. I know. Yes. They were like, where is this place? It was in New Plymouth. So I went with mum. We get there.

And mum. Why John not go? Your dad not go? Oh, he's not into that. He doesn't want to pull his weight. He's got things to do. He had to mow the lawns. I love it.

So I went with mum and greeted by a giant sign that says condition of entry, no eating. No eating pre-way. No eating pre-weigh. No eating pre-weigh. But everyone does that. But that's what you do when you pick your own berries. You eat up. One for me, one for the bucket. Exactly.

And then you get the shits later. Exactly, but it's worth it. Yeah. But if they were going to let you eat, would you be happy on the way in to stand on the scales with your bucket, you and the bucket? Yep. And then on the way out, it's you and the bucket again.

They wouldn't get me on the scales on the way in, period. So there you go. And they flash your weight up on a big screen. Oh, no. No eating. I just put rocks in my pocket. On the way in. On the way in.

And then ditch them. Ditch the rocks. And they're like, um, you lost 5kgs. Like, thank you. Oh, my pocket. On the way in. On the way in. And then ditched them. Ditched the rocks. And they're like, um, you lost five kgs. Yeah. Like, thank you. Oh my God. Yeah, I know, I know. I walked really fast.

Well, I caught it in my foot, but I did 10,000 steps. But can you believe that? Have you ever picked your own berries and had that rule? It seems very un-Kiwi. It does. And like,

there's only so many you can eat before you do feel sick. But then I guess everyone's eating their fill. Yeah, but then that's the thing. You eat heaps can eat before you do feel sick. But then I guess everyone's eating their fill. That's the thing. You eat heaps and heaps and you feel sick and you only fill the smallest little punnet. No, we still fill a couple of litre containers. Two litre containers.

So I had to hide down in the row so the shop couldn't see me and just munch away. Like an army crawl. Like an army crawl. It was like an army crawl. Just kept raising my head. You crawl, crawl, crawl, and then you just turn your head to the side and you're like. They were too busy in the shop. I reckon I probably got away with about five and had to hide the evidence in the bushes.

Five strawberries. Megan, they were like hawks. Five strawberries. They were eyes on the rose. They probably literally have trained a hawk fly over and they see you eating the strawberry and they say, ah, Don't tell their tax. But so I went to the shop afterwards to pay. And get ice cream.

And get ice cream. Yes. Yeah, okay. Of course. I got raspberry. Raspberry? Yeah. You're on a strawberry fair.

No, they do raspberries too. Oh, okay. Yeah. And this couple came along and they had a baby. Would have been one or two. Maybe two. I don't know. I'm not very good at estimating.

He is terrible at estimating. He is terrible at estimating children's ages. A little human. Anyway, face covered in strawberry juice. I was like, are you going to press charges? Because I wasn't allowed to eat any

and this baby is apparently all cute because it's got strawberries on its face. It was there with its mum. You were there with your mum. It seems only fair that the youngest gets to eat the strawberries. Exactly. Did you dob the baby in? No.

To be honest, the lady behind the counter did not look impressed. Seeing how babies eat strawberries, it probably ate one strawberry and most of it ended up on the ground. It just went... Yeah. The Top Six with Vaughan Smith. Hello there. The Hamilton to Auckland commuter rail service is a step closer to happening.

It seems crazy. Yeah. Unless you live in Hamilton and commute to southern parts of Auckland to work. I know. People do. There's someone that works in this building that lives in Hamilton that commutes up three days a week. Every day. Three days a week. Wow day. Three days a week to work here.

Yeah, so, I mean, catching the train could be a... The thing, if I had to sit in a traffic jam, or my other option was going on a train where I could watch Netflix. I'd go on a train. I'd go on a train. Yeah, same. At least you're doing something with your time. I know. And you wouldn't get frustrated with, like, the person in front of you not being able to merge

because I mean if that happens you get derailed and that's a bit exciting. Let's hope that doesn't happen. But it could it's a step closer. It'd be pretty cool. It'd be a pretty cool little option. So the top six things to do on that Hamilton to Auckland commuter train because I understand that it probably would be a little

bit of your time every day. Yeah. Commuting. So you'd need someone to pass the time. Number six in today's top six things to do on the Auckland to Hamilton commuter train. Give the cows out the window backstories. Like in Girl on a Train. Yeah. Look out the window and you'll be like

oh that cow was born in spring of 2014. Good producer. Low's a good producer. Low somatic cell count. I mean, I'm getting a bit probably dairy specific now. You could probably just say things like, its name's Daisy and it likes flowers.

Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things to do on the Hamilton to Auckland commuter train. Pretend you're Katniss Everdeen on the way to the capital and when you go through Huntly, it's like District 12 in the Hunger Games. Yeah. Because both have

got a coal heavy industry. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six things to do on the Hamilton to Auckland commuter train.

Remake your very own version of Murder on the Orient Express. I'm not saying murder any other I'm just saying pretend someone has been.

I mean I've never seen the movie. I assume it's like Cluedo but on a train. Then you're going to go around interviewing everyone and be like, did you do it? Where were you five minutes ago

when we went through Taupiri? That's been a murder. Number three on the list of the top six things to do on the Hamilton to Auckland commuter train if you're stuck on it. Stop the lady pushing the honey juice express and buy a Bertie Botts every flavoured bean, cauldron cakes, chocolate frogs, Stroobles best blowing gum, jelly slugs, licorice wands and pumpkin pasties Harry Potter reference, baby!

You can get on at Platform 9 and 3 quarters at the base in Hamilton too. Number two on the list of the top six things to do on the Auckland to Hamilton commuter train. Pretend every day is Christmas Eve and you're just a young boy embarking on a magical journey to the North do on the Auckland to Hamilton commuter train. Pretend every day is Christmas Eve and you're just a young boy embarking on a magical journey to the North Pole on the Polar Express while learning about friendship, bravery

and the spirit of Christmas. Is that the Polar Express? Later today, the Polar Express takes on Love Actually, doesn't it? And the festive film point. It does. As we get very close to finding New Zealand's favourite Christmas movie. And the number one thing to do on today's top six things to do

between Hamilton and Auckland on the possible new commuter train, demand the train stops in Pocono for a pre-work ice cream and bacon sandwich. That's the only one that's not movie related, but it's very important. It's a great breakfast. Great breakfast for champions, ice cream and bacon. Yes, that's today's top six. Went out with the family on Friday night for dinner. I was home in New Plymouth, and I went to one of our, Megan, you haven't been.

No. But Vaughn and I and Caitlin, James, after our tramp. Oh, your tramp. We went to this place called Little Glutton, and it's amazing. Oh, I feel like it's all in the name. They have. I made a big glutton out of myself today. They have cheeseburger spring rolls.

This place. Okay. Yeah, I know. So you told me about this place. And I ordered them again. Cheeseburger spring rolls. Oh my God, so good. They taste like a cheeseburger, but it's in a spring roll.

Yeah, okay. I'm like, if this place was in like Auckland, like Wellington, a big city, Christchurch, it would be- You'd never get into it. You'd never get into it. Does it have like pickles in it? Like in gherkins? I think it's all like It's all kind of mixed in

Yeah it's amazing Like I don't want to be rude to New Plymouth But they don't deserve They don't deserve something that nice Are you saying it's too fancy for my hometown? Rude Wow you're about to prove my point I think Well yeah because I did tell you at the weekend

Yes So we went and so it's For those that don't know it's like Asian fusion you're about to prove my point, I think. Well, yeah, because I did tell you at the weekend. Yes. So we went. And so it's, for those that don't know, it's like Asian fusion. It's like. Oh, like the loveliest fried chicken. Dumplings and Korean barbecue.

Right. It's just great. It's everything. The dumplings were phenomenal. Yeah, I got bao, the little bao buns. Oh, bao buns. Yes. So what's the problem? Get that steam bread in my mouth.

So we're ordering. The family orders. And then my brother, it's his turn to order. And pre the waitress coming over, the waiter actually, he went through the entire menu and didn't want anything. And I'm like, what is wrong with you? And then got a separate menu that has burgers on it. Burgers.

We're at the most amazing, like, I would go there every day if I could. Like, I'd breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I would eat there every day if I could. That's the thing. I said before that it's a little bit wasted, but I'm actually quite glad it's not too close. You go all the time. Exactly.

And he orders a burger and I'm like you have no idea we're at this place where you can order like the most amazing food. I'm imagining it wasn't

like a soft shell crab burger. No it was just your plain standard I don't know I think it was a cheeseburger or a hamburger kind of deal. Right. Oh well no

at least he's living he's putting cheese on there. I was like what what is wrong? It's so basic. Did he ask for like the pickles? No pickles? Oh, I don't believe that was an issue. Oh, right.

It was just he just ordered it and it was, yeah. And he ate it as is. Yeah, right. I was like, what is wrong with you? I always like to go, if I'm going there with someone like that, I'm like, can you please let me order for you and just try it? I can't stand people who aren't willing to just try something. Like, try something a little bit different.

I always like trying the different things. I mean, this is rich coming from you, Fletch, when we go for Indian, it's a mild butter chicken. If we go for Thai, it's always a pad Thai. But I, I'll try things every now and again, but I just like a butter chicken, because it's delicious. You just know what you like. Yeah, I just know what I like. But I've tried, like, all the different kinds. I've tried a Rogan again, but I just like a butter chicken because it's delicious. You just know what you like.

Yeah. I just know what I like. But I've tried like all the different kinds. I've tried a Rogan Josh and I'm like, no, I wish I'd gone butter chicken. And then I'll try a lamb korma

and I'll be like, no, I wish I'd gone butter chicken. Right. So I go butter chicken next time. You always go back to the butter chicken. Always find yourself going back to the butter chicken. But then I've got,

I've got a friend and if we do dinner, he'll say, oh no, I'm not doing any Japanese, Thai, doesn't like any of the Asian foods. I'm like, that only leaves fast food and burgers. I know a few people like that.

And it's not like a racist thing, but it's not. I don't like soy sauce. I just want to clarify, my friends aren't racists. They just have very plain tastes. I wouldn't be friends with a racist. I don't like soy sauce. I just want to clarify, my friends aren't racists. They just have very plain tastes. I wouldn't be friends with a racist. I don't like soy sauce. But the ender doesn't like... You don't have to have soy sauce on everything.

I'm like, have you been to Japanese? Because it's amazing. No, I know I don't like it. Dumplings are amazing. I know. And just won't try, they just won't branch out. No. I would eat my way around the world, like eat, pray, love.

I just eat, eat, eat, same. That's my favourite thing about travelling. When I go on holiday, that's – Ooh, what's this? Nom, nom, nom. It's weird. People are like, oh, you go down to the bars and get drunk. I'm like – I was thinking of eating so much I put myself into like an early sleep.

So, I mean, we're both KOing at the end of the night, but my night's far earlier and I'm far fuller. So, I thought this morning, could we take some calls on those friends, or maybe you're this person, that's a boring orderer. How basic is your basic bee ordering? Yeah.

Like, you always get to the point where you wouldn't want them to come to dinner if they were going to be too basic about it. Especially if there's a big argument on where you're going to eat for dinner. I'd leave them out. Just leave them out, yeah. I'd be like, oh, we didn't invite you because you only eat rice. And that's it.

We were eating rice. Well, we were going somewhere, they did have rice, but the rice was part of other dishes. But then maybe it's a problem in a relationship as well. Your partner is like, oh, no, I don't want to eat any of that. That would be a deal breaker. You know? Yeah, if you can't go to something. You've got a real fussy partner.

For sure. All right, well, are you a boring orderer? 0800 Dials at M, you can text as well, 9696. Talking about are those people in your life that are basic orderers, boring orderers. You go out for dinner and it's the same thing. They never branch out. No, you've got to try these things.

Do they have fries here? I just want some chippies. And I love chippies. I like chippies as well, but yeah. If you're not in the place to have chippies, then try something different. All right, some calls

and text messages in on this. Quite a few people messaging in. This is five people have messaged in that they have a friend. So I like to imagine it's this one person who's so well known for this that five of their friends have chosen to text the show that they have a friend. So I like to imagine it's this one person who's so well-known for this

that five of their friends have chosen to text the show. We have a friend, the world's most boring orderer. Wherever you go, it's always a chicken burger, but hold everything. So literally a chicken fillet in bread. What about like mayo? No lettuce, no tomato, no mayo, dry chicken in a dry bun. Thank you very much. They do it at every restaurant.

That's disgusting. How can you do that? Why wouldn't you want mayonnaise? Live a little. I mean. Yeah, mayonnaise. That's making it not dry. And the bun.

Oh, yeah, yuck. Come on. What are you doing? Nadia, who is the boring orderer in your life? So we went on this cruise ship. Lots of beautiful options, fine dining. It's all paid for. And she would just constantly order variations of mints.

My husband always said, like, mints three ways. But lasagna was her favorite, or cottage pie. Okay. And we'd try and get it a branch out. She just wouldn't go past spaghetti bolognese or something with mints. She's like a kid. That's what my kids do.

You just have to find different ways to cook mints to keep them happy. So what was mum doing on the cruise ship then with all this nice food? How was their mints there? Oh, yeah. Well, every night she'd have the same thing. My husband was driven crazy by it because he loves ordering lots of different options. Even when she'd look after our kids, she'd give them, she goes, oh, we'll have some normal dinner tonight, kids. Mints and spuds.

And I'm like, we'll feed those children normal food. But yeah, she just thinks fancy, fancy butter chicken or, you know, exotic stuff, not for her. That'll give you the shits. Don't touch that butter chicken. It'll go straight through you. Actually, might if she's never had it in her life, though. Might it.

All right. Well, anything that's not minced and starch, I'd say. Thanks, you, Cornadia. Catherine, your husband is the boring orderer. Yeah. So what does he order? Generally garlic bread or chips. Occasionally he'll splurge with a burger with some tomato sauce.

Right. But he'd never branch out to, you know, like some... Like a curry or a... Thai food or anything? He tells me he will. One day. Next time. He never gets there next time.

I'm doing it, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. The right one hasn't come along. Yes, sir, can I take your order? A hamburger! Thanks, you're cool, Catherine. KJ, your partner is a boring orderer? Yes, my husband

is absolutely horrible when it comes to picking places to eat. He is the kind of guy where, like, he won't have chicken with bones or, like,

it has to be, like, chicken breast or when we went on a honeymoon to Italy, he had to have, like, the place had to serve french fries otherwise we couldn't

go there. Oh, you're in Italy! No! You've got so many carbohydrate options! I know, right? But you, okay, but it's not a deal breaker for you, you just put up with it? I'm quite a patient kind of person, so I'm just sort of like, you know what, it's fine, we'll deal with it.

Just please, somebody serve french fries. I couldn't. Wow, alright of like, you know what, it's fine, we'll deal with it. Just say somebody served French fries. I couldn't. Wow, alright, thanks for your call, KJ. Some text messages in. My partner will always order fish and chips when we go out. He refuses to go anywhere that doesn't have fish and chips on the menu.

And it's got to come with plain tomato sauce. Once they put barbecue sauce on, he was like, absolutely not. What about a tartare? No, Megan. Oh, God. Sorry. My mother and father-in-law, as this other text reads,

are the exact people that you're describing. I hate going to dinner with them because he just gets hypercritical of something that's not meat and three veg. My mother-in-law once ate rice and claimed that it was very spicy, but it was just plain white rice. That's classic mum and dad though. Spicy. What's in that?

It's pepper. That's hot. The only spice they know is salt. Yeah, they're eating in so much salt, they're like, chewing like a leathery old steak. Dehydrating in front of you. You put a bit of pepper on there like,

oh, oh, oh, I'm going to need a drink of milk. Somebody else said, we were in Thailand and my brother got so angry at me because he was in the toilet when I ordered for him. Oh, yeah. And I ordered a plain pizza. And he got back and said, what are you talking about? We're in Thailand.

We're eating a plain pizza. But all I wanted to eat was just plain pizza. In Thailand, the people that I know that have got sick there, it's when you order European food. Yeah. Yeah, right. When you get, like, club sandwiches with lettuce in them and stuff. But if you're dealing with order European food. Yeah. Yeah, right. When you get like club sandwiches with lettuce in them

and stuff. But if you're dealing with even street food, I've never been sick. I eat street food in Thailand all the time and I've never been sick there. Some dude's just like

sweating straight into the deep fryer. Woo, baby! And he just stinks and he's covered in flies and he gives you something and you're like, thank you very much.

Delicious. Tinder has released its stats for 2018. They've called it the year in the swipe and I can break down everything right down to what the most popular song was that people put in their bios, food, all sorts. Okay.

Should I start with popular day, month and time of the day? Sure. What, for going on? Yeah, for going on, I guess. Okay, okay. Yeah. So the most popular month in the year outside of January,

so I guess January is kind of like a big month, is August. So for the Northern Hemisphere, that's like fall. Summer. The last month of summer is their sweet spot. It's their February. It's everybody saying, oh, no, it's going to be cold soon. I need someone to snuggle. Yeah, I guess.

Because you've been single for summer. Yeah. And then you're like, I actually need someone to snuggle. Or is it just like a really, is it really hot? Yeah, June, July, August. That's this. So, yeah, I'd say the Northern Hemisphere, it's like our February. So it's one of the hot. Oh, June, July, August, that's this. So yeah, I'd say they're all in the northern hemisphere. It's like our February, so it's one of the hot.

Oh, right, okay. But back at work? So maybe everyone needs to, they don't have the time to do the casual, you know, the hookups over summer, but they're back at work and uni and school and stuff, so the... Yeah, true. Okay. This was interesting. The most popular day is Monday.

Is that so you can sort out the day. Yeah, unsuccessful weekend. Sort out the day. And just everybody's had a busy weekend, feeling a bit vulnies on Monday. And need someone to sort it out for next weekend. Let's get on Tinder. And most popular time of the day, 6pm. Okay.

People get home, had dinner Yeah Sitting down on the couch And they're like Okay swipe Yeah The most popular emoji Do you want to have a guess? Eggplant No

This one Actually that's not even In the top ten The eggplant This one No Pokey out face wink Yeah

What about laugh cry? Laugh cry Laugh cry Across the board A very popular emoji Yeah That's my number one That's why they brought The tilted one in I think that's my number one Laugh cry is across the board a very popular emoji. Yeah, that's my number one. That's why they brought the tilted one in. Laugh cry is number one.

You got it, Fletch. Laugh cry. Because it's like the best emoji. Is that what you use the most on apps? Yep. Top left is laugh cry. And then my second one, does it go down? I think it does, is love heart eyes.

Mine's love heart. Oh, love heart eyes. That's just heart. Oh, love heart eyes. That's just like saying you love anything, right? Yeah, that's just like an end of conversation with a love heart eyes because I love that comment. Goodbye, stop talking. Mine's a love heart and then cry laughing.

Mine's cry laughing tilted, cry laughing straight. Preach. Oh yeah, like preach. Thumbs up and then no deal. But that's just, I'm using no deal so much. No, lover eyes isn't even in my top ones. Eyes, second to last. No deal has been used so much lately because of everyone saying I was going to get a horse for the girls.

I was like, no deal. No deal, no horse. The most popular TV shows, this is what people are putting in their bios. Okay. We'll do the top five. Hulu. What's Hulu? Oh, that's like Netflix. Just like TV channel. Yeah, that's where

in the States, that's where you watch Handmaid's Tale. Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. Number four, Game of Thrones. Three, The Office. Two is Netflix. And number one is Friends. Really? Number one TV show. Yeah, because girls always love Friends, and guys put in Friends

because they think girls want to see that a guy that likes Friends. Yeah. The most popular GIF used is How You Doing, Friends. Oh, yeah, okay. The most popular GIF. But if you get a message from a guy, and it's like, how you doing? Joey, how you doing? How would you like that, Caitlin?

Because you don't have any apps at the moment. No, I don't. You're not running any apps. But then how do you know that they're being Joey? You can't read it. It's a gif. So it comes up. It literally is a picture of Joey moving.

Yeah, but no one can be Joey. Like, it's Joey. They're trying to be Joey. Yeah, I know, but that's... Would you even reply to someone that did that? Nah. If they were hot? Ah.

Exactly. The most popular song? Shall I do top five? Because people link their Spotify, don't they? No, I'll do number one because I don't know most of the others. And my feelings, Drake. In God is a Woman, Ariana was like a close second around the world. Okay.

Guys want to look woke, so they put God is a woman in there. I treat every woman like she's God. It would get me. And lastly, the most popular food that people put in their bios. Potatoes. Chocolate. No. Avocados.

This was amongst the 10 most top mentioned foods across nine different countries. Oh, not bacon. They're calling it a universal language, this food. Chocolate. Nope. Donuts. No. Potatoes. We said potatoes. French fries. Chocolate's not even. They're calling it a universal language, this food. Chocolate. Nope. Donuts. No.

Potatoes. We said potatoes. French fries. Chocolate's not even in the top 10, by the way. Pathetic. Chips. Guacamole is number seven.

Okay. No, not chips. Tacos is number two. Tacos. Sushi. Pizza. Sushi's number three. Pizza is number one.

The universal food. They've all got emojis, don't they? Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah. Okay, well that might got emojis, don't they? Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah. Okay, well that might help you.

Monday, six o'clock. Say you like pizza. And you love friends. Yeah. And don't cry laughing face. Yeah, thank us later

for finding your loved ones. Ho, ho, ho. Mr. Film Fight. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. On the search for New Zealand's favourite Christmas movie and our last semi-final, the winner of this

round will meet Home Alone in the final for the best Christmas movie ever. And that will be voted upon as all previous rounds have been by you, the listener, at our Instagram account, FMZM and the stories, it's a little poll. And it's very scientific.

Very scientific. Megan's standing by to hover the boats. These are the two movies that are competing in today's Best of Film Fight semi-final, The Polar Express. Well, you coming? Where? Wide to

the North Pole, of course. This is the Polar Express. Oh, Tom Hanks. Almost felt like a bit of Toy Story there. Remember when Anya said there was no dialogue in that movie? He needs a dialogue. The whole movie is full of dialogue. But then someone did message in and agree with her.

Someone said it just doesn't have as much dialogue as you'd expect. Right. But there is plenty of talking but not as much as other movies. What movie did that beat out in the early rounds? Bad...

Do we remember? It was one of our... Bad Santa? Was it Bad Santa? Was it one of the ones we liked? It was, yeah. Oh.

Die Hard. Die Hard. Oh. Not a Christmas movie. Doesn't matter. It was at Christmas. Happens at Christmas. And Up Against the Polar Express.

Oh, goodbye. It's written down as slove, actually, but I think that's a classic Caitlin typo. Up Against the Polar Express, love actually. When desires are revealed, secrets are exposed, and chances are finally taken.

All you need is love, actually. I've never heard that trailer are finally taken. All you need is Love Actually. I've never heard that trailer ever. Just none of the movie. I've never seen it. I went to a Love Actually party yesterday. Did you? Yeah, it was Todd hasn't seen Love Actually.

Is that the party? Yeah. Did you watch Love Actually? Well, no, but we all got too drunk and we were just like, let's not bother. And Bree turned up. She was upset that nobody was watching Love Actually. Did you?

Caitlin went home. Did anyone dress up? Where did you end up, Caitlin? I had a barbecue. Yeah, so we were just like, let's just not. Your social calendar lately has been, it gives me anxiety. It sounds like jealousy. No, no, God, no.

The weekend introvert in me is just like freaking out for you. Yeah, right. There are people out there. Wait, you had a barbecue after that function? Yeah, I had three events yesterday. She's very busy. My God. Such will be utter flurry.

There actually ended up being a couple of people at this party slash barbecue that hadn't seen Love Actually. I can't believe that. I thought everyone has seen it. Because how many times would you have watched this, Producer Caitlin? You kind of watch it three or four times a year? Yeah, for sure, definitely. I watch it twice at Christmas.

I'm not allowed to treat myself during the year. You watch it twice at Christmas? Yeah. I usually watch it when it's on TV because I like to feel like I'm watching it with everyone else. Yeah, that's what Sade does every year as well. I'm like, oh. It's on Netflix with no ads. No, I watch it there too.

Okay. Because it gets a cuppa. You need to vote today between the Polar Express and Love Actually. On our Instagram, FVMZM. Surely this is no competition. Love Actually will romp home. One is 77% and one is 23%. Yeah.

Love Actually. Although 23% are voting for Polar Express. That's surprising. That's the train fans. They'll run out of steam soon. All right, you can vote. And we'll have our final tomorrow. It looks like it'll be Love Actually.

Depending on your votes, up against Home Alone. Most Mondays coming up, producer Caitlin, you've got somebody lined up who has a song that means something to them. Yes, they've got a great name. Motion Monday's coming up. Producer Caitlin, you've got somebody lined up who has a song that means something to them. Yes, they've got a great name. Their name is also Caitlin. Okay. And, yeah, this throws back to high school.

Is it an emotional song? It's a very, like, get tissues ready. Oh, God, okay. I know. People have had big weekends, Caitlin. I know. People will be vulnerable. This is why I love Motion Monday,

because it really gets you in the feels. Just let it out. Yep. So, there's coming. I know. People will be vulnerable. This is why I love Motion Monday because it really gets you in the feels. Just let it out. Yep. So there's news. You actually saw this. You went home to New Plymouth and you landed and it was the first thing you saw on the front page of the- It was on mum and dad's kitchen table.

They get the Taranaki Daily News. Is that what it's called? Yep. They should call it the Nacky News. The Nacky Rag. The Nacky Rag. Taranaki Daily News. And that what it's called? Yep. They should call it the Nacky News. The Nacky Rag. The Nacky Rag. Tata Nacky Daily News. And there it is.

Giant letters. It's the whole front page dedicated to this story. Read us that headline. Quest for perfect pics is tarnishing the tarns. Oh, no. Now, tarns, for those that don't know, are mountain lakes. And the mountain lakes in particular are the ones on top of the Puakai Ranges

where just months ago Vaughn, myself, Producer Caitlin, Producer James visited. I skiddly-deed out of this. The Puakai Circuit was on the Lonely Planet list

a few years back and it's seen a boom in visitors. Like people go out of their way now to do this walk because it is incredible. The views that you Like people go out of their way now to do this walk because it is incredible. The views that you get from the top of Mount Taranaki

when you can see it are amazing. And we just so happened to be there on a perfect day. Because what's amazing is you get the iconic picture of the mountain reflecting in the lake. If it's a calm day, it reflects like glass, like a mirror image. And if you're in front of that, you also reflect on the lake, if it's a calm day, it reflects like glass, like a mirror image. And if you're in front of that, you also reflect on the lake and it's beautiful.

It's great. It's great, Graham. Great for the Graham, great Graham content. And that's probably why so many people, like when we were there, so many people were just day walking up for a photo because they knew it was going to be the sort of day that would be good for a photo. Yeah. So we went, I'm just going to try to find how

long. Oh, here's the photo. I mean that's an 8,000 like photo and that's a beautiful. Wow. It's a good picture. Perfect day for it. There's you and your wife. Yeah, breaking the law. We're not breaking the law. Here is the issue is that to get that photo

yes, you have to walk not on the track. So there's a born walk part, right? you have to walk not on the track. So there's a born walk part, right? And that, you can stay on that tarn. You're supposed to. Yeah, but then you need to get off it to go around the back of the tarn. Which you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to.

And then when I was around the back of the tarn, I was like, there's another tarn over here and it's better. For reflections, it's flatter. Why don't you just call it lake? Splodge, splodge, splodge. No, it's not a lake. It's a tarn. I don't call it a it lake? Splodge, splodge, splodge. No, it's not a lake. It's a tarn. You don't walk all the way up a hill to call it a puddle.

Puddle. You know, could have called it a tarn. Now we're in elevation. So, yeah. Now, I mean, if one person did it, fine. But one person is not doing this. It's literally hundreds of people. And at the weekend, like when we were there,

we probably saw 100 people there in the space of, you know, four or five hours. And what was the area around the town looking like? Trodden? Oh, no. I don't think it was too badly trodden. Was it a little trodden? Listen to the tone.

No, I don't think it was too. Look, I think. It wasn't bad enough. You know when you're at school and they'd ban you from going on the grass? The groundskeeper would put up some tape and be like, oh, not accessing the fields, it's too wet.

It wasn't anything like that. They need to build the boardwalk just to jag out a little bit so people can stand there, get the photo.

It's great for tourism. It'll protect the moss. Yes. The spongy, groundy tussock. Apart from the

fact they have to build something like that. Initially put the thing in there. Make it low. And if I could just make. Well, yeah, but once that's done. Make it low. And if I could just make a request, make it low and subtle so you can't see it in the

reflective photos. That'd be great. Oh my God. So if we could just dig up some of that environment. That's what I'm thinking. And build a boardwalk. And get some builders in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yep. And like once they've walked on it a couple of times, then it'll grow back up. Yeah. Because let's be honest, you're not going to stop people from getting that photo because that photo is like, that's likes. That is a lot of likes. The only reason I'm on my high horse is because I wasn't there to get that photo.

Otherwise, I would have had it. If we're making suggestions on how to make it a bit nicer up there, the boards are a little bit slippery. Someone could get up there with some 30 second or some spray and walk away. Which would be great for the environment. Great for the moss around it. Yeah.

I mean, it's primarily designed to kill moss and mildew. And then, so what makes this worse is that you sent the photo of us all jumping on the ground, which you're not meant to walk on, to the news and they put it on the weather for the entire country to see. Here's the best part about it. I was edited out. At the time, I was very upset that friend of the show, Renee Wright, had put the photo as such that I was edited out.

But now, you know, I wasn't there. Except for that gram with 8,000 likes. Yeah. Yeah. Archive that. Moosh Monday But now it's time for Moosh Monday It's a Monday tradition now We take a look at a song

That is emotional to you Maybe it was a song you had When you were going through a teenage breakup Your past emotional years. Yeah. Good morning, Caitlin. How are you? Good morning.

I'm good, guys. You are going to hit some people in the feels this morning with this song. Yeah, I hope so. You hope so? What a monster. Now, tell us why this song is your pick for Motion Monday. Like, what does it mean to you? Just back when you have your first

high school boyfriend and you know, we've been going out for like six months or so. Oh, that's ages. That's a long time. Yeah, yeah. You know, like back then it was a big deal, like, to hold hands and everybody at school was like, ooh, you know. Yeah. Anyway, I found out he was also seeing

another girl at school. Wait, so she must have known about you then. There's no way he could have kept you both in the dark. Probably. Because you're holding hands. I was not updated, you know. It felt like it was the end of the world. Yeah.

And this song just perfectly described how I felt at the time. And yeah, it's still emotional to this day. Did you ever confront him? No, nah. Not worth it. You just like left. You were just like, ladies. I'm out.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, and how long did they stay together for? Did you know that? Nah, I didn't want even to know or to see them around school. I just, yeah. Have you Facebook stalked him? He's not like married to this other woman, is he now? No, no, no.

Oh, so you have Facebook stalked him? Of course. Yeah, so you had Facebook stalked him? Of course. Yeah, a little peek peek. Yeah, what does it like, what did he end up, has he got a girlfriend or wife now? Or did he? I don't think so,

probably girlfriend, but yeah. Right. Did he go, did he turn hot or not? Because you know, sometimes. Yeah, not really. I was someone hotter now, so who cares?

Yeah, so right, okay. You've got hotter. My comparison than he has. Good. It's always good to be on that side of it. Okay, well, Caitlin, I think this is going to hit a lot of us in the feels today. Introduce your song for Mosh Monday. Today's Mosh Monday is Cold Plays Fix You.

Oh, God. This is our emotional song. Oh, God. All the time. It is. All right, Caitlin, thank you. Today's Emotion Monday. Sit down.

When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you leave something you can't replace When you love someone

but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix

you. Coldplay on ZM Fix You, today's Mosh Monday for Caitlin, not producer Caitlin Caitlin who found out her school boyfriend was cheating on her with someone else from school. Yeah.

How emotional. She was just like, I'm out. And then he had a rubbing face because then you see them walking around. Somebody said, that song reminds me of whenever you tell a sad story to make people cry and it would end with a concrete truck. And as they were listening to that song, they drove past the concrete yard and saw the concrete trucks lined up and a tear ran down their face. It's an emotional song.

It's a great song. Such a sad song. Moving on. Oh, that was sad. Moving on. Yeah, that was bloody horrible, wasn't it? Hey, that was a good segue. Moving on.

Good segue. We got a message in our Facebook inbox. Have you finally found it? That whole song was me mad scrambling, what was her name? Did I send it to somebody? I found it. Okay.

I have a question, Reds. No name. No name. I have a question. Okay. And whether or not you guys could ask people what they think of this. Are you allowed to look at your significant

other's phone? And if not, why not? I'm in the dilemma where I've been in a relationship for a couple of years and I'm not allowed to look at my partner's phone. I would like any feedback on this. Thanks. And I said, you're not allowed to look. What do you mean? And she said, well, I'm not allowed to hold his phone and look at his unlocked phone. Okay. He listens to your show every day and it would definitely help my argument for him to hear that it is very weird. I said, what's he got going on on that phone? And she said, well, I don't know because I'm not allowed to look in it. I said, touche.

Maybe if he hears people saying that it is weird and it does give me just cause to not trust him, he will show me in the phone as he swears he has nothing to hide. Yeah, that's weird, isn't it? Couple of years. Dude, what's on your phone? What is on your phone? Just let it have a little pinky-pinky on your phone? What is on your phone? Just let it have a little pinky-pinky on the phone.

Because my husband, I have a thumb thingy and I have facial recognition on his phone. So like my face is... So you can get into his... I can just look at his phone and it opens

because it's got my facial recognition. Can you have multiple faces on facial recognition? Yeah, you can. Yeah. And he has the same on mine. Yeah, I tried to add me with sunglasses and it wouldn't let me.

And if your eyes are closed, right, it doesn't open. Too cool. Yeah. I know, my sunglasses work. Yeah, because that's why I tried it. And it's like, no, you're too cool, bro. You're wearing sunglasses. I just look so cool.

It's like, hey, just, I don't even care if you're not Vaughn, man. Come on in, cool guy. Okay, was it Mr. Toyboy's idea for you to add? No, but he didn't fight it. Okay, was it Mr. Toyboy's idea for you to add... No, but he didn't fight it. Okay, that's... No, no, because it's only because I know his pin code and it's just annoying. So I was like, I just want to lift it up and be like, open.

But it's only if we're like in a car and he's like, can you open maps on my phone? Or like I never go snooping because he has, he lets me touch it and like open it up and so I had no reason. If you've just joined the show, Megan's talking about Andrew's phone.

Oh, right. Sorry. He lets me touch it. But, grow up. Yes. But, if he was shady about it,

I would want to look at it. Yeah, right. Do you know what I mean? Because he's given me full access, I don't need to. What about you, Vaughn, in a marriage of some years now? Yeah.

Oh, I just leave my phone around. Doesn't matter. Doesn't know. But that's the thing. He's obviously hiding something. If he won't even let you pick it up. Because why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you just let them go through your phone?

Because we always read out those like cheating lists and stuff. And one of them is if they take their phone with them everywhere or like take it into the bathroom and don't leave it around. Oh no, I take it to the bathroom or I always take it to the toilet because I'm going to be there for 15 minutes.

But if you're not leaving it around and you're not letting them touch it, that's fishy. It's a red flag. What about our producer James? Because how long have you been with your girlfriend? Be coming up five years or so.

And what's your policy on this? Oh yeah, like I've got nothing to hide. She knows my pin code and everything. Obviously, yeah, if she's got to use it while I'm driving or something, then yeah, he's obviously got something to hide. Like, why would any other reason be? But what if he's hiding something innocent, like wedding plans? That's what I mean.

That's what you need to say because automatically people are going to think it's cheating, you know, straight away. No, but he could just be like, because it's the same. Andrew has, like, my Christmas list on his phone. He's like, don't go into notepads. It's innocent, but don't look in the notes. You know, like, if it was in his notes or somewhere. Yeah, right.

What about Internanya? Yeah, this is fishy AF. Do you know your boyfriend's PIN code? Oh, yeah, I think I've got a thumb. I don't know the code thumb You've got thumb access? Did he offer that or were you like making your crowbar in there? Yeah, I can't remember which tells me I was probably like alright, hand it over

But if you know the pin code, there's no difference It's just quicker Yeah, exactly So what does she I think she just wants backup Because he said it's not weird and heaps of people do it. But she wants him to hear that lots of people would think this was very weird. It's very weird.

Or if there's anyone who can justify it on his behalf. Yeah, maybe you in a relationship and... And you just like to not have your phone... Yeah. I don't know. We are hearing one side. She could just go straight to contacts list and be like, who's this? Who's this?

Who's this? Who's that? Who's that? Who's this? Oh, yeah, true. And he could be like, maybe he doesn't want, yeah. Yeah, but he could be like, I work with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, true.

I've known them for ages. Delete her then. Yeah. That's an old one night stand from three years ago. Yeah, who you know. You don't want to delete the numbers because you get up and skedaddle because you're angry about the phone thing

and you want to have a backup. All right, so we need your calls and your texts now. What do you think? 0800 dials at M9696. Is it okay for your partner to not give you access to their phone? And have you been in this situation? And what, you know, if you weren't allowed your partner's phone, why? Tell me why.

And how long do you have to be together before phone access becomes an expected privilege? A expected, you know. Okay. Give us a call, a text. Loud Luxury Brando, body, on ZM at 17 past eight. Are we talking about if you should have access to your partner's phone? Unhindered?

Unhindered access. Yeah. Because somebody messaged into our Facebook page saying she's been with her partner for two years. He's like very protective over the phone. Doesn't want her in there. But cagey about it. And he said, this is just what people do.

If you want to go on my phone, get a warrant. Yeah. I want to say, I went to Chicago to get the piece of paper. Judge signed the warrant. Damn it. Executing the search warrant. So what do you think? Grace, what do you think?

Your partner, does he let you have access to his phone? So my partner, he'll let me go through it if I ask. However, he'll be holding the phone. So he doesn't like me just getting the phone and just roaming wild through it because I go through absolutely everything. Wait, so he holds it and you sit beside him and he holds it and you're like, scroll, scroll.

Yeah, so I'll be like going to Instagram, okay, out now on Facebook, but he'll like do it all for me, but he just doesn't like me like roaming through it all by myself. There's trust issues in this relationship on both parts. But this Grace feels to me like a random drug test. Yeah. You know?

It's like he's on parole and you're searching his house. Yeah, no, it's saying that, like, he is pretty good. Like, he'll let me go through it whenever I want. Does it sound like when you're hearing yourself when you're talking to us about it, does it sound a bit crazy that he holds it and you scroll through it? Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe we're both a bit nuts. Well, that's going to work then. Yeah, right. Do you trust him though? Yeah, no, I don't. I really don't. But what makes you want to do a spot check and go through his phone if you trust him? I don't know.

I think just like random check-ups are okay. Random check-ups. Like testing your balls for testicular cancer, you know? You trust your balls, but you've got to check them every now and then. Exactly. Monthly check-ups.

Monthly? How often would you check his phone? Yeah, no, probably like once a month, once every couple of months. I can't endorse that, Grace. Oh, Grace, that doesn't feel right. I don't know about that. Give him a bit more leash, Grace. Yeah, yeah.

All right, thanks. You call Grace. Georgia, your partner was cagey with his phone. Yeah, he was. Okay. Do you, like Grace, do the monthly checkup? No, I don't check his phone at all. Okay. Yeah. Okay, so he was. Okay, did you, like Grace, do the monthly check-up? No, I don't check his phone at all. Okay.

Yeah. Okay, so he was. What happened? What was he hiding? It turned out he was hiding in a gamesharing room from me. Oh, okay. That went the other way that I thought it was going to. And was it for you?

It was for me, yeah. Okay, that's good, good. He was being really, really, because he works right next door to me. Okay. So he can like come in whenever he wants really. Yeah. And he was being really, really like shady and whatnot. Like I couldn't touch his phone, like answer phone calls or like even look at it pretty much and he would flip out.

And he would spend a lot of time with my mum and like whisper and whatnot. And I'm just like, you know, how's it going on? Because I work with my mum. Yeah. And I'm just like, something really wrong is going on. And when I confront him about it, he's like, nothing's wrong. Like, you're, like, getting worried and whatnot. And I'm just like, well, you know.

But, yeah, just because my mum was hiding it at her place. Yeah. So that's where all the secretness was coming from. So did you find out after he proposed to you or did you ruin it? Did you ruin the surprise? No, I didn't ruin the surprise. He was actually overseas and when he got back, he proposed. So, yeah. And it went back to normal?

Yeah, it did. Phone, yeah, right. Okay, thanks for your call, Georgia. Faye, your husband was cagey with his phone. Yeah, he was, right. Okay, thanks. You're cool, Georgia. Faye, your husband was cagey with his phone. Yeah, he was, unfortunately. Like the article that Megan mentioned about, you know, people taking their phones to the bathroom and everywhere they went with them is very true. Yeah, so literally it would go everywhere, to the bathroom, to the shower.

Pretty cagey. So what do you think about this person that we've had message in, her partner won't let her access her phone? What do you think? It shouldn't be an issue. Like, I don't think it should. It's just a given. Like, I think if there's nothing to hide,

then it shouldn't even be a topic. So your husband was, he was hiding something? Yeah, he was. It turned out he was cheating on me for a number of years. So he was definitely hiding a lot of stuff in there. Wow. And did his phone, did his behaviour change? Like he'd always leave his phone around and then all of a sudden he'd take it everywhere?

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And if I asked about it, it was like, oh, it's my privacy and I've got a right to privacy and bloody, bloody bar. And I kind of bought into it. Oh, no. That's real bad news for every guy who likes to take their phone

to the toilet to play a game, though, because now their partners who are listening are going to be like, what are you doing in there? Vaughan, you are the only person I know who posts for 15 minutes. Like, you've got a problem. Don't hurry these things. I'm on bit life at the moment. The moment you play this game, you live a virtual life.

It's good fun. Faye, thanks. You call some text messages in. Somebody said, does he, it'd be interesting to know if he ever wants to look at her phone. From the original message that we had in. He doesn't like her looking at his phone, but does he ever want to look at hers? Probably not by the sounds of it. He's got enough going on. Someone said, I was a trusting person. My ex always had issues with his phone, but does he ever want to look at hers? Probably not by the sounds of it. He's got enough going on.

Someone said, I was a trusting person. My ex always had issues with his phone. And when I finally really hit him up about it and put some pressure on, he came clean

and said that over the last four years he'd slept with ten different women. Oh, Jesus. Don't know why he didn't go with five. Or like just say

I've cheated on you. Yeah. Don't put a number to it go with five. Or like just say I've cheated on you. Yeah. Don't put a number to it. One, maybe two. No, straight 10. And now he never gets to see the child we created. Or he never sees. Sorry, I don't know if that's his choice or what.

Wow. Somebody else said my ex was like this, but it was a woman. Oh, okay. She would hide her phone under her leg while she was driving. And I always used to joke saying, that's going to give you cancer. And she'd, ha ha ha. It turns out she

was cheating on me with other women. Oh, okay. And people she worked with, multiple, multiple women. So yeah, they drove with their phone under their leg, so you can't see anything that pops up on the screen that's it okay wow

someone else messaged in they want to go on record for when their wife hits them up later on today that they are a 15 to 20 minute pooer and they enjoy playing games on their phone while taking a relaxing poo

we need some sort of convention that we sign yeah right some sort of wee poo for a while as long as you can get access to the phone after the poo although

no before the poo I'm alright with you coming in while I'm having a poo and seeing So I'm sort of wee poo for a while. As long as you can get access to the phone after the poo, although, no, before the poo. I'm all right with you coming in while I'm having a poo and seeing what I'm doing. Yeah, right. I will bore you to death with details of this game, but you're more than welcome in. Fact of the day, day there is a collective word for nieces and nephews. So if you say, I went and saw all my nieces and nephews on the weekend. Just the relatives. You could say, no.

Niece-fews. Niblings. Niblings. I know, how cute is that, eh? That's so cute. Yeah, but you're going to say it and no one's going to know what you're talking about. I know, how cute is that, eh? That's so cute. Yeah, but you're going to say it and no one's going to know what you're talking about. Oh, it's all the nibblings. Another one that they tried to get off the ground but couldn't quite.

Sibkid. Because it's your siblings' kids. Sibkids. Sibkids. Sibkids. Sibkids, but nibblings. Has taken off? Yeah, 1951, a man called Samuel Martin said,

look, if they're called nieces and nephews, we should call them nibblings. He was a professor of Far Eastern languages at Yale University and the author of many works of Korean and Japanese languages. And he was like, nibblings will do the trick. And it entered the language, the English language, and kind of hangs around.

It's a fairly unknown word. I've never heard of it. But it has been recognised at several degrees of English language that nibblings is an okay word. Well, that'd be great for the family scrabble if that gets broken and just even seeing the nibblings this Christmas. Yeah. Just getting around

and seeing the nibblings. Yeah. It's a bit up. No, it's good. I like that. It's good, yeah. Because the nibblings. Yeah. It's a bit of... No, it's good. I like that. It's good, yeah. Because you always have to say nieces and nephews. And that's like cool. As you say, like going into Christmas, like if you're going to be seeing them,

you'd be like, hello, nibblings. And they'll be like, what's nibblings? And then you're like crazy auntie or uncle with like a weird fact that you've thrown at them. Good, I like it. And that spreads around and maybe... It'll shut them up for five minutes while you explain it. And then they'll be like, this is a boring story, Uncle Vaughn.

I'll be like, yeah, plenty more where that came from. Ask the people I work with. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is there is a name for nieces and nephews collectively known as nibblings. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Don't get fleshed outed Don't get fleshed outed in here Don't get fleshed outed Don't get fleshed outed in here

Man, it's getting busy out there. Busy time of the year to be going anywhere with a congregation of shops. Especially if they're under one roof. Yeah. The mall. Which, by the way, people are falling for that same trick again where it's like, I've just worked out the mall means them all

under one roof. It's not. It's not. It's not what it's called, the mall. No. Don't be silly. So, at the mall, them all, there's plenty of car parks. I find if you approach it with patience at this time

of year, drive slowly and don't expect one right next to the door, you're likely to find the perfect car park. I see what you're doing. Or you just wait until someone leaves and then you're like, into camp. Or you leave your husband, me, happily in the car and I'll

just go and park over there and come and pick you up from the door when you're ready. Anybody in studio had any situations recently where they found car parking less than perfect? No,

because it's not a surprise to me. Right. So I actually do my Christmas shopping early. Well done. Because I know that malls are a tough place

to be at this time of the year. You've got me started. This isn't, okay, so one of the, you've got me started. You've had an experience? You've got me started. This isn't... Okay, so one of the... You've got him all started. You've started me. So I drive a bit at the weekend when I was back home in New Plymouth. And also yesterday.

Which you don't usually do. Well, no, because I don't have a car. So sometimes I'll rent or borrow a car. And this happened to me twice at the weekend. And yes, it has got me riled up. It's got me started. Go on. First instance,

Friday, finding a park to go to dinner with the family. And it was quite busy, actually, Friday night, around the restaurant area.

I can't remember if it was Hammond. We had to do a couple of loops. Okay. Did another loop and what do you know, it looks like a park's available. Perfect.

Mum's driving. We're all like, there! Get get it mum we go to turn in yeah and there's a bloody scooter in there a little tiny scooter taking up a whole car park the same yesterday at the mall see a car park gun gun it yeah for the car park. There's scooters in there. They don't belong in there. Where do you want the scooter to park? On the footpath. Not in a car park.

It's a car park, not a scooter park. Okay. You would never have had this problem with me when I was a scooter rider. I used to ride straight up to the door and just park it right at the door. Exactly. What are they going to do?

You can't pick it up and move it. It's too heavy. Maybe get a ticket or something. No. I never got a ticket in all my time. No. What are they going to do? You can't pick it up and move it. It's too heavy. No, get a ticket or something. No, I never got a ticket in all my time. No. I'm straight up there.

And don't even get me started on the small cars that look like a free car park. That's me. You're like, oh, a car park. Oh no,

it's just a tiny car. It's always a fiat. It's always a fiat when you pull around and you're like, God damn you fiat. No, but on the other side

of that coin, every time you go out to the car park, you're like, my car's been stolen. It's gone. fiat. When you pull around, you're like, God damn, you fiat. No, but on the other side of that coin, every time you go out to the car park, you're like, my car's been stolen. It's gone. No, it's there. Sure. It's just only two foot off the ground. Yeah.

Yeah. No time for scooters. So would you prefer people with short cars, because I've always thought this would be a decent solution, not to go right into the park. Yeah. No, that's a good call. Yeah.

Maybe back into the park and then you can judge where the front of your car will stick out. No, then someone will swipe the butt of it and it's your fault then for not parking in properly.

Right. No, but Vaughan's right. Just be level with the other bumpers if you've got a short car. And how do I measure that? I get out and go a little bit more? Just take a little bit of time because it's inconvenient.

It's getting our hopes up and then you're destroying the hopes of so many people looking for a car park. Do you know what's going to happen? She's going to get out, check if she's far enough in. She's going to look. She's going to go to get back in her car and someone's going to think she's leaving. So they're going to pull up there and put an indicator on. And then Megan's going to lock up, grab her handbag and walk out.

And they'll be like, what the hell? So you're leaving. No, not leaving. Not leaving today. Dordlers around their cars. When people are dordling or they run, they do multiple trips back to the car to drop off, drop off and then go back in. How do we feel about that?

Drop off stuff and then you're like, oh, they're leaving and then they put it in. Just don't maintain eye contact with people. Just do that real quick. Don't muck about. I can't even believe we went to a mall. It's a horrible time of year, I know. It really is.

It's not a horrible time. You don't need to go that far. It's the most horrible time of the year. Call now to play Fletch Warner Megan's... Lego. Zangos. 0800-DAL-ZM. ZM's Brie and Clint.

News out today about just how dirty your smartphone is. There's a cesspool of my life just living on the face of that phone. It's everything you touch. I touch a lot of things. Was that meant to be a rude joke? No. It was a good Saturday night. Okay, cool.

Just joking.